Watch What Crappens - #2184 Southern Charm: These Are The Day Chasers of Our Lives

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

Taylor and Austen’s secret threatens to destroy the love rhombus they share with Shep and Olivia. Not even the safe confines of Republic can ease the tension on this week’s Southern Charm (S09E04).Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm not a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp, I'm a cramp Hello and welcome to Watchro crap ins a podcast bad all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mantelker and joining me today is the one and only mr. Ronny caram hi Ronny how are you? Well hello benoont how are you doing honey? Oh my goodness I'm doing as well as one can be in this sweltering charleston heat because I'm recording live from the patio Republic bar and club or whatever it's called. That's where I am here. On today's marvelous crap is on demand video. How are you doing? Nice bar rot smell for you in there. Yeah.

I'm doing great. I just did the Kate Casey podcast. Fun. She reality life with Kate Casey podcast. Oh, fun. She, reality life with Kate Casey, she is doing these kind of deep dives with people's actual personalities and lives, which is super weird. I'm not used to like having someone ask me questions about myself, but it was fun. If anyone wants to listen to that, it's that Friday night,

over at reality life with Kate Casey. And even if you don't want to listen to it, you should still subscribe to Kate. Because Kate is great, okay? Hey rhymes! Hey, you know what? And to piggyback on that, I did a podcast this week with Not Kate,

but Catherine, Catherine Spires, she has a podcast called Smart Mouse, which you all should listen to. It's a food podcast. And basically Catherine has people on. She has people on to talk about food that they'd like and then she sort of talks about the history of that food, et cetera, et cetera. In my case, we didn't necessarily talk about food that I like, but what we did was we made together. Catherine had made Stinkerbar salad and a hot dish. So

we were delving into Minnesota cuisine and then we talked about our experiences as non-Minnesotans eating this stuff, et cetera. So it was really fun, and it was a really fun experiment on our part. So go check out. I like that pitch. We talked about our experiences and non-mini-sotans eating this stuff. Well, because it's like, you kind of have to,

because you know, you don't want, it's like this is food that's totally far into us, you know? And so we've tried to really be like, we understand that we are not, like we were not raised around this food. So we have no conversation. So we don't wanna be like, this is disgusting, you know? And then it's like, well, you,

this is our food, like we don't want people to be like, this is our food, don't shit on our food. So, but it was kind of like a, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, food, I'll go listen to that. Yeah, so smart mouth and also Casey's podcast.

So, yeah, there's not enough crap in episodes. Go. Do more, listen more, listen more. So here we are with Southern Charm. I really, they've just given this whole show to Madison, which I think is interesting, because she was friending of last year. Yeah.

And I guess that maybe that was her choice. Whenever a problem people say, it's match was, because I'm in a relationship or whatever. I never believed them. I don't know if she even said that. But I just figured they friend it up, friend it her for some other reason.

But no, maybe they were just waiting for her to tie the knot with a long underwear guy and now look, boom, she gets every opening number is right, obviously, quite a crowd of parker you, how fucking idiot. Well, I mean, also by default, like who else could do it? I mean, you have Taylor, who hers would be like previously on Southern charm Shep put his dick in a whore you like oh, okay Taylor come I'll bring it back in

Olivia, I mean Olivia is just like I don't even know what Olivia's would sound like Just like before before to day on Southern charm like stuff happen before it to down Southern charm, like stuff happen. At a campy level, because love already has Southern hospitality, they can't have a do double duty as narrator. Levas hatred of this new JT guy is so raw and beautiful. It's so funny to watch it when he's that scene where he's like, guys, I'm going to tell you about professionalism. You know what that is? And they're she or her and the need are just where he's like, guys, I'm gonna tell you about professionalism. You know what that is?

And her and Vinny are just looking at him like, really? She goes, is that broco? He's like, it's a professionalism between boys. She's like, please stop. Broco, please stop, you're fucking sleep. Well, she especially doesn't like him because he's creating event spaces.

And she is the nightlife queen in this town. So the episode opens up with Taylor getting in her car. Oh, it was a two-be continued for last week. So Taylor and Olivia just had a talk in the coffee shop and Olivia's crying in her car and Taylor's getting into her like Nissan Central or whatever. And they're basically having a sitting in the car off. Like who can sit in the car

the most dramatically alone by themselves. And Olivia wins because she's actually breaking down. And then Olivia drives off and calls Leva, and she's like, she's like, sorry I missed it. No, we can't add lip smacking in bed. I'm sorry I did it. I'm sorry I brought the lip smacking into Evan.

No, no, we can't do it. You know why? Because we've also got real housewives of Potomac coming and that's a lot of Karen lip smacking, which by the way, everybody, I'm gonna work on that. So there's not as much lip smacking in your face. Did you get completely? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I'm annoyed hearing it. Oh, I just, there's a lot of things that, you know, try and change this. I'm trying to grow as a person. And part of that is lip sounds, mouth sounds. Yeah, we're gonna try, like, we appreciate ASMR, but maybe not in the form of Olivia thinking.

So, and Whitney is not really lips, lips. He's more like, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Like, he's just so, no, and you're like, you're like doing like, like he's just always, no, you're like, well, you're like doing like, like, like, licking. I'm doing like, you know what someone's like panting at themselves like they're hilarious. That's kind of what he used to do. Like his insecurity and talking used to be like, they're, I, I saw people. But you're is so happy right now. She loves it when we make fun of her son.

So Leva calls Leva and Olivia talking. And Olivia's like, sorry, I miss you earlier, but I was getting coffee with Taylor. It's like, were you crying? Did she try to do her day chase or pitch on you? It's really sad, right? I was cried she try to do her day chaser pitch on you? It's really sad, right? I almost cried too. How many times did she say, um,

so Olivia's like, well, she said that there was a time when they consider dating and I'm just like, and love her, she's like, wait, what? Like, oh my God, Olivia, I'm honestly just shocked. Why is anyone shocked about this? Like, the man is a human car wash. Are you serious? Are you serious right now? Yeah, and like the shitty car,

kind of car wash, like the shitty one at the shell station that's like $3 and you still have all the bird poop on you when you're done with it. And you're like, wow, I just want to experience and I'm wetter, but still dirty. You leave and your windshield still has dots all over it.

Wait a minute. Yeah. You know, uh. Yeah, I'm with you. Why would anybody be shocked? It's Austin, okay. So then Taylor calls Austin, of course. Oh, Taylor, way to get him off your tail. Taylor.

She's like, hey, um, do you have a sec? Which is funny, because Austin has like literally all the sex? Well, actually, pun! I meant more like he has all the time in the world, because he literally does nothing with his day. Well, he's actually getting his second, because you were a chef first hand, so he's already got you second hand, and he doesn't only have seconds, he's got volumes of minutes. Okay. He has all the time in the world, all the time in the world.

So awesome. But of course his answer, she goes, do you have a second? He's like, what do now? What do now? I was like, oh, okay, were you busy? Yeah, please say doing what? Sorting and socks. So he goes, so she's like um um so I just I got coffee with

Olivia um and I told her about our conversation that we had um and I thought it would be one of those things where it should be like I appreciate you being open and honest um but that's not the case it's the opposite um so yeah I expected her be like, I really appreciate that you use the word God, especially in reference to crutches. I mean, you're just so open and honest, you know? Yeah, I would go back to Olivia and she's like, so she said there was like a time after New York when we were in the thick of talking

about like fixing things with us and like that part feels gross and like I feel I feel I need to process things for a second. You're having a whole mouth that's already today and I'm here. She doesn't love it. She doesn't cry like that at all but I just wanted to give her something. I was like I don't have an illusion. Some kind of inflection. Does Olivia have a voice? I was like, let me just give her something to me. She really doesn't. She's just like, yeah, I wrote it. She's like, so Olivia's like, yeah, because like during the time they were having a conversation, I was in California

for three days. And like Austin was reaching out to me, telling me to give them another chance. And Taylor was like a huge reason that I forgave him. And then a week later, he suddenly has a change of heart. And yeah, I'm love us like, you've been so cool about the relationship with this friendship between them. And you know, Team Olivia, you know, she's still a dog poop thrower over a waller,

but still, I'm Team Olivia on this one. So we can be at Austin but still. I'm team Olivia on this one. So we can be tossed in. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess I think I'm like, cut back to Ben. Um, vaguely team Olivia just ever so lightly, um, because I feel like, A, you never really were with Austin in the first place and your relationship always felt fake. And like, I have a hard time believing any, like like I just don't feel like there are any stakes in this relationship and I'm also like like this is what Austin is why are you crying over Austin but then again I'm like yeah but it is shitty if Taylor and Austin were thinking

about getting together but also I I also don't believe it or not. If Taylor and Austin hooked up, while we all believe did happen, during this time when Austin's also telling Olivia all these things, then that's fucked up. But if it's really a thing where Taylor's like, God, I'm so lonely, maybe I should go after Austin and then she talks with her brother and says, am I crazy? Should I go after Austin and he says, don't do that because you're right. I don't think that's so bad, but it probably is the latter case, right? Or the former case.

I don't think it's, yeah, I don't think it's that simple. That's all they're caught on so far. So that's all they're gonna admit to you. But this show is also built on fake relationships and we have to remember that. You know, the beginning, it started with Catherine was like hooking up with Whitney, but then she was kind of looking up with Thomas and then she happened and then it kind of turned into a real thing with Thomas.

But at first it seemed back then like it was just trying to make something happen for TV, right? And then when Chelsea, anything with Chelsea, there real land in and yeah, anything with Chelsea there was the land in and Thomas thing like were we supposed to know what to call for that and what are our land in a reddit moment today is going by the way presidential oh Your politics now RFK junior yeah, good luck. Oh of course

That's great for RFK Jr. Yeah, good luck. Of course. So there is that relationship. Then there was anything Chelsea, like you said, Austin coming into this show trying to make something happen with Chelsea, there was never any chemistry or anything there. That was always weird. And then yeah, it's like over and over again,

it happens on this show, fake relationship after fake relationships. So yeah, I don't necessarily buy it, but I don't even think it's if they did, if they did do it, it was shitty because obviously it's Taylor trying to get back at Shep. And also, which good for her, she said, Shep's a fucker and she deserves some revenge.

But the point is that she's friends with Olivia and not telling Olivia. That's a bad part. She's gonna get all snooty right now where she's like, I didn't do anything. She was gone. It was well within my right. No one was even dating anyone.

No, you don't get to do that. Because you've been pretending to be her best friend. That's not cool. It's amazing how the moment you start to dissect this love rhombus, how it just becomes more and more boring, the more you explore it. It does. I'm not even sorry, everybody. I literally almost fell asleep.

I was bored when I was saying my, I mean, you were riveting, but I personally, when I was doing my thing of like, well, if they had hooked up, that's one thing. But if they had hooked up, you should be, I was like, well, I'm like bored with what I'm, I am literally just dying to get to the period of my sentence because I'm over what I'm saying right now.

Yeah, I feel you. I do ever have those moments where you hear yourself talking and you can't stop because you're in the middle of something, but you just want, you know, I was like, sighing with my prefrontal cortex, you know? I'm just bringing it from that. Yeah, I have a traumatic experience with that. I have, okay, everyone, okay, here's Ben's humiliation.

It was very much like an episode of Cheers. There was a famous episode, well, it wasn't famous, but there was an episode of Cheers where George Went or Norm gets the opportunity to be like a taster for like Bud Light or something. His dream job where he drinks beer all day. And before he goes in for the job, Kristi Alley is like, oh yeah,

like she's like, I got so nervous at job interviews. Like next, I went, I had like my dream job interview and everything was going great. And the next thing I know I was like, like on my knees singing show tunes. And then he's like, oh, that's hilarious. And then Norm goes in to audition. And he, like he's thinking about Rebecca Howe's story

and he winds up doing that same thing. Well, that happens to me, where I got to have a meeting with Sasha Barehaan Kohn once. And I got to pitch, I was like pitching myself to work with him. And I got in there, and this is how the meeting went. He said, he goes, Mandelker, that's an interesting name. And I go, I go, yeah, it's actually, it has Austrian origins.

I love Austrian, I love Austrian words. I got love the word, Opflstruodle. I just love saying Opflstruodle. And then I was like, Ben, land. I don't know why this plane took off, but you better land it. And I just couldn't stop doing a bit about how I loved German words.

And I kept on saying optimal shuddle and I was staring at Sasha Baron-Cone, staring at me with like a look of horror on his face. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, what am I doing? And I could not stop saying I'm full shuddle. And then I finally found the period in the sentence. And then I was like, so anyway, yeah.

So yeah, so I'm a writer and I didn't get the job. Well, then, I have to say, just hearing you say, Awful Stoodle over and over was more interesting than Olivia's entire fake relationship about. By the way, let's never have Austin say, Awful Stoodle, because guess what, you're going to need a poncho for him to say. I have a good laugh. Awful Stoodle. Yeah, there's gonna need a poncho for him to say where. I have a good laugh. Apple strut. Yeah, there's a lot of sea world going on there.

Yeah. Wow. That's great. Okay, so Austin's reaction is, well, there's no good time to tell Taylor, all right, because she wasn't even talking to me at that time. This is insane right now. And Taylor's like, yeah, she was gone now.

Like, I was within my right. And when Austin and I had that conversation, Shepp and I had been broken up about two months. Yeah, but Olivia hadn't been. It's like the whole like she was on a break, even though I don't believe that relationship. Yeah. Oh, the vacuum vacuum vacuum. Sorry, everyone. It's the ghost of Sasha Baron code coming to haunt me again. It's like you have ushers. You have invoked this horrible memory your trauma It's not taking out a physical thing awful strudal very slowly

Fasted all off his foot Oh, dude, oh, dude, dude, dude I'm sorry everyone for the vacuum. It's one of those days, okay? So Austin's like well, I don't know what the fucking road map is Taylor But I do know I'm sick and tired of apologizing to everyone for not doing anything wrong And I'm so sick of like walking on eggshells around everybody. I'm like, oh yeah Also in the real delicate eggshell walker and I love this like strident take. He has like I'm sick of Be like eggshells. I'm just gonna be unapologetically myself by the way

I don't not come with the events night because I don't want to deal with anyone attacking me You know, it's like yeah she's like worry why'd you say eggshells can you see my sweater? No why are you there? Because I just I dress like eggs because you said she likes eggs. No it's that she smells like eggs come on Taylor Jesus. Oh God my brain is scrambled right now like my like my sweater. God I'll tell you one thing, that conversation, it wasn't easy, and I wish it were over. I wish it were over and easy.

Okay. You know what, this is a conversation I shouldn't be running from. But I felt like I was poached like a rhinoceros. Everyone's acting like this is a hard boiled mystery. So Olivia's crying. Okay, so let me go to Craig. I'm really actually good over this.

Okay, so Craig, right? So Craig is standing in his pool without water. It's under construction and he's like, Hey, chicken, guess where I am. Paid just like, wow. Is this the wrong place to tell you that I really hate when you call me chicken? It's disgusting.

I just want to say thank you so much for standing in an actual manifestation of my outlook on life. You know, the pool is empty. You know, glass is half empty, half full. It's literally an empty pool right now. There's literally only one person in a pool to pull from for this relationship. Unfortunately, you sell, let's just keep this going for another couple of minutes. You know, when they say this relationship doesn't hold water, I didn't think you were going to literally express that.

He's like, I'm really confused though, because like I'm standing in the pool and it's supposed to be six feet deep and it's not, oh wait, I guess it is six feet deep. I'm six feet, that's gonna go up to my head. She's like, oh my god, Craig, such a idiot. She's like, could you please stay there? I'm gonna, from my, I'm gonna use the pool app on my phone and start filling this pool up very slowly

with water. Do you have a cinder block to tie to your ankle, finally chance? Fucking moron. Wow, I, you're really moving that needle for me to move to Charleston. I can't wait to dive into our cement hole in the backyard. So then we go to Madison who is trying to figure out like healthy bacon and she's making a vegan meal for herself. And I've never seen this before, Ronny, maybe you have because I feel like you're a little bit more attuned to this world. But a vegan sandwich, so using a large slices of tomato is bread. I am not a fan of this. This is not appealing to me.

Have you seen this before? No, how's it be? It's bacon and vammies. And you're putting your hand on a sloppy potato. It's a tomato. It's like a wet. Yeah. Your fingers are wet and also your fingers are wet and also most tomatoes for like 10 months a year have no flavor. Yeah. Um, you know, here's the other thing. I do appreciate it because I appreciate someone who stays so tiny, not pretending that they do it. Like, I don't like when people fake it, not oh my god, look at me. I love cake. I'm a real woman, I'm only eating cake, I don't care if that's just skinny bitches. And then you see her eating and it's like one little like sliver on a fork and you're like, okay, you fucking fake her, don't sit here

and try to sell me this, I eat cake. And Madison doesn't. She's like, you know what a sandwich is to me? Tew wet tomatoes with protein in it, that's it. It's like, okay, I wanna to see somebody suffer for their art. You know? Maybe she meant keto, not vegan. Or maybe she said keto when I heard vegan.

There were no carbs. She said vegan. Oh, okay. She was kidding. Because bacon, I guess, is considered a vegetable in the South. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I was just so distracted by the idea of a sandwich made

on tomato slices that I was just, I could relate the most humoralist people. All we do is make my people. Right. What? That's supposed to be big. Yeah. Yeah. She was she was kidding. Um, but you know what snow Joe? I know. I'm cracking up with both of us because we're both like in a smith over this this scene. I'm just a mad adj. I was pretty much out of the Jane. I'm mad at Gina. Not because triggered from Eric. I'm mad at Gina. Not because Gina was wrong. I'm mad that Gina actually had a good moment on the reunion because I was really hoping

this would be the end for Gina. And I feel like Bravo's gonna say, this is why we got a keeper. They're gonna keep Gina. Yeah, for sure. Also because she gets to use Shannon's DUI and hold it above her head all next season. Yeah.

So annoying. I know it is annoying. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial. Watch what crap-ins and winter is crappening of a funniest recap broadcast. But if you want something more eerie, try the new podcast Go Story about my investigation into a murder suicide in my own family. Ghosts aren't real, at least that's what I've always believed. Sure, odd things happen in my childhood bedroom, but ultimately I shrugged it all off. That is, until a couple of years ago, when I discovered that every subsequent argument

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Follow Go Story wherever you get your podcast. Listen everywhere on October 23rd or you can binge early and at free on Wondery Plus the same day. So Patricia, we go to Patricia, she's looking at a rock of close, which is, you know, and she's like, all right, this is the alteration rank to big. This Oscar is for the beach. I don't know why this is in the closet. This needs to go to the beach closet. This one actually fits. I need more club Randy. Never mind, please skate away, Randy, you disgust me still. We'll try again in a

month. All right. And then we go over to Shep's house where he's trying to get a little Craig to use the doggy door. He's like, remember your doggy door? You can go through the door anytime you want. Go through the door. Step through the door.

I'm like, this feels like it's got to be some sort of like symbol of something like the door represents maturity or a job for Shep and like his unwillingness to even step through it. I don't know. I feel like there was more to this this little moment than what was on the page. Well, it does represent getting a dog and never taking care of it and having to pretend that you do because you're back on TV because that dog does not know how to use a dog door. Okay.

And you've had him for a long time. I was watching I think on TikTok two nights ago, a video of someone like a family of raccoons came through someone's dog door. My question is this, why does that not happen to everyone's dog door? I don't understand how dog doors work. How do you keep the wildlife from coming in on the dog door? It's like there's no plastic key card that the dogs can use that you can keep the skunks and raccoons out.

I just invented it. I mean, you did it, I call it. I believe, but I'm going to invented it. I mean, you did it, technically, but I'm gonna steal it. A little thing you put on their collar, where they're within a foot of the dog door, it unlocks, and they can go out of the dog door, but when it's, when they're not around, nothing can get through.

Okay, I'm writing that down. Nobody better steal this in the audience. Wait, you know what I'm reading? This stuff. You can install like a little security guard that sits at a desk and it's like, hello, and who are you here to see? Oh, you're what I'm reading this stuff? It's all like a little security guard. That's it's at a desk and it's like, oh, hello and who are you here to see? Oh, you're here an employee here?

Sorry, it's my first day. Just say that to the dog every single time. Ah. It's a little chicken. So, a little chicken, a little chicken. Security guard. This is an employee there. To say, I've been called chicken so many times.

I've actually become chicken. Hi, I'm sorry. Who are you here to see? OK, hold on one moment. Let me call them. I have a Mr. Bueller to see Ronnie Karen. OK, I'm sorry. He hates you.

Please leave. I'm sorry. Your name again was Bueller. Bueller. Yeah, all right. It's Bueller on the list. Could you call Mr. Cormes to Karen and make sure he puts you on the list. I'm sorry. It's just a policy. Thank you so much

Bueller's name is on at the whole time. She's just doing a power play Okay, so JT is stressing out how got all this male. I'm gonna deal with male later JT is listen I get he's new to to reality TV But he's setting everything up like he's in an improv scene at all times And he wants us to know what's happening. He's like, look at me in the rental I've started with my mother It's gonna be an Airbnb unfortunately. There's dirty glasses in here. Oh, I guess surely won't notice. I'm about to have a guest Surely he won't

I wonder if I got a letter from poppy seed. So Rod. Oh, by the way, someone commented, I thought this was such a good comment because I didn't notice it, but they're like, why is he talking in a Southern accent? He's from Virginia. Hmm. Do people talk like that in Virginia? I know. Virginia from like old time he shows like, you know, where the revolution was happening. And I think everybody did kind of talk old old. The county. I'm a true Yankee from New York.

So I just assume everyone below the Mason Dixon lots like, hey, how did partner? How's it going today? I'm from the South. I mean, look, Colvers from Maryland and he talks like it. Colvers like, I'm cold. They're I'm from Maryland I know people said that about him too like why the fuck is he talking like that? But I have a friend is just like a put on like down-home thing or is that like a real accent from there? No, I mean accents are like Southern accents get very far north like I have a friend from Cincinnati

I know you would talk like this and I'm like but you're from Cincinnati But like it's close to Kentucky. And so those accents really, they really get around, you know? But yeah, JT is maybe a little bit too sovereign for where he's from. Yeah, he's very like, whoa, look at me, I love my mommy. So Rod comes over and he's like, Rod, my best friend.

And Rod's like, yeah, hi best friend. We are best friends. Like, okay, you guys very natural guys. He's like, Rod, my best friend. And Rod's like, yeah, hi best friend. We are best friends. Like, okay, you guys very natural guys. I was like, yeah, this place looks great. I missed what it had beams. I'm like, okay, you guys have a lot to talk about. So JT's like, don't you remember pre-COVID when there was wiring and fucking syringes

all over the floors and Rod goes, yes, dude, that is when I met you. And he's like, yes, and that's when we became best friends. Okay, all right, guys. So that was one thing that COVID gave me you. I was like, oh, you're like a Nicholas Sparks novel. So Rod's like, I'll take it. It was also in my turn around of the you gave me COVID.

COVID gave me you. Oh, hunts. JT, I'm okay. So the truth is on the show, every guy winds up being one of the worst people on Bravo. you. Oh, huns. JT, I'm okay. So the truth is on the show, every guy winds up being one of the worst people on Bravo. But they generally start off well. And JT is still in his good phase. And I'm just surprised because everything JT does feels like the sound of it, like

his voice and everything. You just assume it's like more ravenile, more chef and everything. But the words he says are actually remarkably sweet. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm proud. I'm happy for COVID because I got to have a deeper friendship with you. I'm like, you fucking dick, wait. Oh, that's nice. That was nice, JD.

That was a nice thing to say to your friend. I don't trust him because I think he moved to Charleston just to go meet these guys and bars and come on the show and then immediately try to start flirting with somebody's girlfriend to have a relationship on the show. And I think he feels entitled to Taylor. There, I just said it. That's my specialty. No, he will unmask himself.

He will unzip as a terrible person. But for right now, he's kind of playing like the, what, like the, he's like the short guy on the show amongst all the tall guys. And I'm liking it so far until I won't forget anymore. Well, I do like that he's very messy and he comes in trying to start mess left and right. I respect that. So we get some more of his flipping back story where him and his partner a few years ago started buying all these historic properties and we call our collection The End ends and they're making like their own little neighborhood of Airbnb's.

It's like, yeah, we found this derelict POS building to some an amazing event space with an old world mask and vibe. I mean, it looks like Gerard Butler's panthouse and Chelsea. I was like, I was like, hello. Okay. The reference right at the top of everybody's mind. Gerard, but you know, what's funny is I couldn't understand what he said with his accent.

He's like, it looks like Dodd, butler's penthouse. And I was like, Dard, Dard, Dard. Maybe it's dark. So I looked at, Dard sounds like someone's name on the show. He's, he's seen Dard lately. I looked up, Dard, Dard Butler's penthouse in Chelsea. And it actually came up witharth butler's penthouse in Chelsea. And it actually came up with Gerard Butler's penthouse. And I was like, Gerard Butler,

or why would he get that? Because I said butler, too better, Google. And then I listened to it again, and he was actually saying Gerard Butler's penthouse in Chelsea. Chelsea, your story. Chelsea London. Do you know, did you see? Oh, I don't know.

I clicked off of it really quick. So I was like, what the fuck do I give about to our butlers, like, masculine, penthouse, and Chelsea, fuck off. Is this a thing among straight men, like, you know, like, with straight, with gay men, there are certain, like, pieces of pop culture that we all know and we reference all the time over and over and over again. We all know it.

Straight men is like, it's basically, it's Gerard Butler's penthouse, like, mommy dearest for straight men. Like, maybe, is like, it's basically, it's Gerard Butler's penthouse, like Mommy Dearest for straight men. Maybe. Cause I know that's a big deal. The straight guys do have a lot of things like that. Like if I'm ever around a lot of straight guys

and I'm feeling insecure, I just go, LeBron! So you have to do it. That's all I hear from straight people TV. Whenever there's anything that's straight people on, like the guys are watching, everyone just goes, LeBron, is this LeBron's time? LeBron's time is fast.

It's not all the long. LeBron's on. Oh yeah, my Facebook feed is like all, right now it's all Dwight Howard. It's just like it's, who's that? It's a basketball player. I'm gonna go see a straight person tonight. So let me write it down for a wide hour.

I mentioned Jimmy Butler. He's my favorite basketball player. But no, Dwight Howard's no longer. He's sort of past his prime. But the thing is that like Facebook is like, oh, you follow Jimmy Butler on Instagram. Therefore, let me give you every piece of NBA information you ever wanted.

And it's just like you said, it's nonstop LeBron. All it's LeBron and a little bit of Dwight Howard right now. So, okay, JT, yeah, he tells us that stuff. And then he's like, yeah, well, I talked to Austin. And, you know, oh no, this is not JT, this is Rod. He's like, yeah, so I was talking to Austin, and it's one of those things where he's like smiling my face, and I'm telling him about this,

how Olivia's Austin says, Olivia doesn't believe this, but I want Olivia to be happy, and then he pivots six seconds later, and he's like, but you should know, I saw it at the share house last weekend, and she was making that with another guy. Were you at the share house last weekend and now she was making that with another guy. Were you at the Weak? Share house or yet warehouse?

Because there's also, or were you at Carehouse? There's a lot of those options you're in Charleston. Can you just clarify a little bit which one you're at? I'd been to your house. Square house? Was it a square house? I think so. It's a place where you buy payment systems.

Yeah. Just say it wasn't a flare house. Or a barehouse. Another gay bar. Gays are taking over. But Ron. So JT is like, he's like, yeah, he's like, well, they are trying to drab you. He's trying to drab you.

And Rod goes, yeah. And he's trying to J.A.B.U. and he's trying to J.A.B.U. and Rod goes, yeah, and he's trying to slut Shamer. I was like, whoa, did a guy on this show actually show an understanding of the concept of slut shaming? This is weird for me for Southern Charm. Yeah, I, the shows punked me. I don't really get it.

I was like, wait a second. They are showing concern for Olivia and they are upset that Austin was trying to slush Amber. This is weird. I think the show's jumped the shark. I will not be, I will not be lied to. And I feel like this show is tricking me. They're trying to trick me and I just don't believe it.

Whitney's still in charge of this show, right? I'm not, maybe, maybe what maybe Randy took over. I'm not sure. It's like, maybe Randy took over. I'm not sure. It's like, executive producer by Randy, which is why our episodes are on later than usual. Wait a minute. I just looked at the producers. It's not, who did it used to be, Heymaker?

Because now it's someone called Pear House. Pear House? No, I just got your joke. I'm from almost hey, house. Anyway, he's like, Rod's basically like, yeah, Austin's like basically trying to sluts shame her. And I'm like, dude, she's single. Okay, it's like we're getting to know each other.

Like, why does it got to bring her down? Like, that's not how a gentleman's raised him. All right. And JT's like, that's Rod. A gentleman's raised to show respect to all women. And of course, the poppy seed, the dog. And let's see, JT's like, well, I still take issue with Austin doing this to ship, and now have you ever, ever had a sleepover? And Rob's like, yeah, especially when it's a forbidden sleepover. Dun, dun, dun, dun. And JT's like, well, that doesn't

sit with me. Has Taylor even talked to Olivia about this? Taylor's no innocent party because it takes Chuditango. It is the boys fault. God, I love Taylor. Can't wait to marry Taylor. I'm a swifty. JT's in a little bit of a pickle here, though, because he's talking about how bad it is for Austin

to be going after his boys girl. But JT, you're just second in line there. You're just waiting for your turn too. So good luck with that. Yeah. That is kind of weird. I'm not sure how all this is. I don't know how it's going to revolve. So this shows that it's a disturbing show. So then we go to Taylor speaking of with pom-poms in her hair, has this mother disturbing Taylor saying every time Taylor comes on screen, I'm like, is she okay? Yeah. Help Taylor.

She's setting up her day chase or event at Republic, and she's setting up an ice lose big week for ice loses on Bravo. You had the ice lose on Salt Lake City, and you had Heather DeBro. So Austin just existing. She's just like a human like Eslush. And then Austin is, he's texting Taylor and he's like, hey, Tay, I think everything going on, like you and Olivia, like Olivia hitting me

and everything, like I think I'm just gonna skip out on tonight's party because I'm so sick and tired of apologizing. I don't care what anyone says, but I don't want them to say anything to me the first place. So I'm just not going to go. Whist. Yeah. Of course, the ultimate victim, Austrian.

The ultimate victim always. The ultimate victim is Austin and all this shit that he starts. So then now we cut to his house and he's scrolling through texts. And then he's scrolling to read the past text of Taylor. And then he sees a picture of Taylor and he enlarges it to look at it closer. More closely. Like, oh, okay.

So then he gets a call from Shab and Shab's like, hey, I'm just going to the gym. I'm gonna get a little cardio going. You know, I'm doing my Shakespeare yoga class. That's basically while we do yoga to the rhythm of I am Big Pantana. I'm preferably from Hamlet. Bobble, bubble, downward dog in trouble.

So Austin's like, oh, okay, I'm good. And so, Shep Asley says, oh, by the way, I got invited this thing. This is a real breakthrough for Taylor. And Austin's like, he's like, oh, okay, good. And so, Shep Bansley says, oh, by the way, I got invited to this thing. This is a real breakthrough for Taylor. And Austin, he's like, oh, yeah, good. Well, I'm happy for both you guys, but you know, I'm glad you're going because I'm not gonna go.

And Shep is like, why would you do that? And he's like, well, there's just like a lot of shit going on right now. But, and he's like, with who? And he goes, well, Taylor and Olivia met up and Olivia expressed extreme unhappiness, and they all are about a couple of things. So, you know, they're upset and I don't want to be involved.

His way of saying this without ever saying anything, you know? Yeah, guys just so slippery. And he's like, but wait, I'm confused. Did Taylor listen, I've been this confused until I tried to pick up a Jodie Picolk novel. Do people actually read that? Gosh, okay, well, the Taylor actually say something happened between you guys, is that what's happening?

And he's like, no, nothing happened. Listen, hand on the Bible, hand on the Bible, okay? Hand on the Bible. And I like this, Shep goes, yeah, because you're so religious, because Austin keeps using this hand on the Bible. It doesn't count when you are an atheist, sir. You don't get to just bring out the Bible to swear on.

You do not get to do that. So awesome, basically just gets shut off the phone. And now we go back to Republic and Leva's pulling Taylor for a chat. Amazingly, TJ did not stick a space in there like last week. Like, okay, girls just like chat with them, like little gossip session being.

So, like keep trying to do this. Let's shoot at Republic so we can bring this cast, I guess, so we can mix the shows better so that we can promote that show. But the cast of that show is really coming off, is really doing that thing, and I'm not doing nothing as far as Lord, but they have nothing to say,

or they're not, they've tried to have a scene later where that dude is trying to talk to Taylor and he's like, wow, fun party, huh? It's like, oh, yeah. Joy Marbles even has a moment and like, he doesn't know what to say. He's like, oh, so then Taylor's like, Taylor's like, I'm excited for today. I mean, this is big. Like, this is going to be the biggest launch I've ever done. And like, I was like, I'm excited for today. I mean, this is big. Like, this is gonna be the biggest launch I've ever done. And like, I just like wanna do a good job for my job and love it. I was like, I want you to kill it. I want you to just, I'm like,

you guys are not opening up fan to the opera. You guys are selling sellers, okay? I tell you what's like. But I'm nervous. So I'm influenced her job to promote day chaser. Like, are we really believing that Taylor is walking around bar to bar? Like, hey guys, have you heard of day chaser. Like, are we really believing that Taylor is walking around bar to bar like, Hey guys, have you heard of day chaser?

Yeah. You were getting the brand on TV. You're getting us to talk about it and no one knows what this brand is. You have succeeded in your job. So level, like, you could tell, I'm sorry, I keep interrupting. You know, I just wanted to tell you this part

because I think it's so funny. She's obviously traumatized from dating, she's obviously traumatized from dating, because you know, when you're with someone, you pick up their speech patterns and stuff. She's like, there's just so much going on. It's a plethora of things. So my God, stop talking to chat. Please no one talks like that.

Clevver's like, just to clarify, we're not talking about the Vietnam war. Are we? Well, actually, yeah, but that's fine. We can move on from that documentary. So love is like, well, yes, that's still going on. Don't you? It's literally not still going on. I haven't finished the documentary. Don't tell chat. It's 45 birds. So, love is like, so yes, it was a crazy day for you. I'm going to be very honest. A live year called me and she was bawling and having a full meltdown until it goes,

it was a lot. And so, live is says, well at this point, you owe her all of the truth. Know what I mean, full honesty. So then? Yeah. And Liva goes, well, I mean, no one falls on a deck. You know what I mean? And like, no one, you know, no one falls into a relationship.

So I'm not the extent of all this, but I do know there was more to it. And that disappoints me. And she goes, and I love the both all this, but I do know there was more to it and that disappoints me. And she goes, and I love the both of you, but I hate this. And Taylor goes, yeah, right, but this is about me and my want. What'd you say? Launch my want. I think it was a lot of launch, but she could have said my want and Taylor is the wall. And I wrote me a special bachelor pad in Chelsea. I thought she said my want it first. And then they put a

snake rattle in to like compound it was like and then I was like she couldn't just said that. So and then I said won't I think that what she said launch I think when she said launch is her way of saying like I'm not talking about this right now. That's why I was like, so then Taylor says, even if Olivia and I are on the best put in our friendship, in our friendship, it doesn't matter. You know who would say, you know who could really say,

if you're right now, Ronnie? Lebron! So, Lebron! And anyway, she's just like, she's just basically saying, like, look, you know, you gotta put your best foot out for your business. You gotta separate the two. She's acting like she's a hero

because she's able to like focus on business right now. Oh yeah. Walk it around, being like, hey, you should drink Seltzer. Yeah, and she's also like, this is a business event. I'm only getting concentrated on business. Let's all do shots. Oh, I love that business. So Craig is in, um, is everyone's getting ready for the party. So

like a good, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, Pup, and Craig is putting on a fur, like a 101 Dalmatians coast. And Shep is like oh no all my ski stuff is in Hilton Hey little dog I forgot your name little quagg. What can we have a one wolf mask on Little is right cuz great like where's that dog door when you need it? I know he's like, please. I'm stressed out. It's a plethora of things it. I know he's like, please, I'm stressed out. It's a plethora of themes. And then Venita is, she's doing her makeup and she facetimes Madison and Madison is like, I'm going to wear a ski jumper. And Venita is like, it says that Taylor should have picked a

better theme than ski, a ski party because it live in Charleston and they don't have coats, so none of them have, they can, none of them can put together this outfit. So she tells her the goss that Taylor told Olivia that for a split second she might have had feelings for Austin and Madison's like, up, all I can say is, tell Joe, tell Joe, so, okay. And she tells the producer, she's like, okay, go ahead and roll back the tape sin roll back the tapes and they do And she's like awesome clearly has feelings for her. I mean it like right be a cut to I mean look at you He's in love with her cut to Taylor. I think he's like hey in love with you cut to fucking idiot Okay, you don't need to you don't need to play that one. I really don't care about him anymore. I'm married Madison wins the award for like most convincing flashback case.

Cause this happens a lot on Bravo, but this was just like explicitly when she says, I told you so, there's no room for intermission interpretation. It's just like, he loves Taylor. He wants to fuck Taylor. He's in love with Taylor. It's like, oh, yeah, she did call it. But it's also like the psychic of the most obvious thing. Yeah. And they show the they show the clip of them at the reunion. And it's Austin and Taylor literally

leaning on each other through the whole reunion while Taylor is sobbing and yelling at chap. They're just like leaning on each other like a couple. So then Olivia calls up chap and she's like, so, um, are you, uh, you go in a Taylor's party because like, I'm second guessing going, but then I was thinking I've got a lot of dog poop. I've got to put it down somewhere. The sh- the creek is actually backed up at the moment. So yeah, like, I don't know if I want to go.

I- I'm having like, I don't know what to call it. Agita. Um, I don't know what that is. Haparhenchen. That's a really hard word. Existential dystopian rage. Do you have the wrong number? I don't know what that is. Apparhenshin! That's a really hard word. Existential dystopian rage! Do you have the wrong number?

I don't know what you're saying. I have a question. Is it true that dime a dozen is actually means that something is really available? Was rod lying to me last week? Oh gosh, I can't believe I tried even say a plethora to this girl. Wow, I talked to Austin, and I'm aware that you and Taylor got together and it was pretty emotional. Is that a pretty fair assessment of what happened?

Not sure what that word is, but yeah. And thank you, Austin, for passing on the message. Um, and he's like, look, Austin's really not gonna go to the party, so I just wanted to let you know about how good I am. The fact that Austin is like not coming tonight, um, like that's so fitting, unlike most of his clothes on him. It's Exhibit A of who Austin is. Meanwhile I know how to put stuff on the shelf and compartmentalize.

And so I'm gonna be, I'm gonna go and support because I care about my relationship with Taylor. Congratulations on learning to put things on shelves. Also, please read the instructions for the microwave because I'm literally worried about you. You're not my favorite. You're not my favorite on the show, but you're not my least favorite. And I worry for your safety. Okay. Wow. I, um, wow. You really get an award for learning how to show up at your job. And if you have an issue with someone, you just know how to be like not going to lean into it tonight. You really are a hero. She's like, you know what? You know what I'm going to do? Get screen time. So I'm going to go to I'm going to go to a party and have free booze. And

I'm gonna go to a party and have free booze, and I'll just be polite. God, I'm so good. And get the full victim at it, you know, because now she's gonna get the full heroism. Which she deserves. Now, do I believe this relationship still don't? I mean, I know it's only probably 20 minutes since we've talked about that.

Still don't believe that was a relationship, but okay, you know, you're still waiting on this one. So, Shep is like, well, gosh relationship, but okay, you know, you're still waiting on this one So chef is like well gosh, I want to hear you know, I want to hear from I want to hear from Olivia or was it Taylor before I just want to I still need to hear more things before I form an opinion Garsh in the court of Shep Law so Olivia is like well Do you want to come with me to the party? We can ride an Uber together and you're like, okay, that makes a lot of sense. So they're gonna ride together.

So now Taylor is setting up at Republic and she puts a child's bubble machine out and she's like, are these bubbles gonna make it all the way over there and I got instant Galaxy Lights vibes. Galaxy lights, what are, oh yeah, Galaxy lights, lights. Yes. That took me a moment there to pivot. This is true. She is sort of rekelling at these days. Like... Not the same thing. I don't want to compare the... There's not apples to apples, right? But um... I bet what we learned from rekelle is sometimes these doide innocent ladies are not as doide and innocent.

So I'm not laying out the child's toy to bring relaxation in a group event is something that connects some. I'm just saying. Yeah, exactly. I guess I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust people. I'm just saying that, you know, you never know. So it's raining outside. So I feel like this party is taking place at the patio

of Republic, like they didn't, they for whatever reason they couldn't do it inside Republic, I don't know why. So like they put up the water, even let them inside. Yeah, like they put up some tarps over this patio because the entire scene is like dripping in front of, like there's, you just see dripping all over this party.

I'm like, what can we move this inside? You have a whole club. No, love us like, listen, like the show don't love the show, you're not taking away not of my business to do this show. Yeah, okay. Now, yeah, love us like tonight's gonna be like good and wild until it goes, yeah.

So then, I mean, how could it not be good? It has to be good for Leva. Yeah, cause Leva's really, really attached to this day chase or effect. It's happening. If I let Leva down, this is not gonna work out. All right, Leva, this is not like the SLS hotel. This is, okay, it's Leva. She has a bar,

she has a place called Burbin in Bubbles in town and she has Republic. Okay, I would be more concerned about upsetting the chief of Gwins. That feels like the more powerful person in town, not Leva. Well, that ship is sailed. So arrivals, they're doing ice-lo isolate shots. These are so disgusting. Do people really still do this? And does it kill the germs just because it's ice? I don't think it does. Or are you putting your lips all over each other? You've all fucked each other.

It's disgusting. Stop it. Yeah. Stink roasts. Do people get disease from this? Or what? Probably. What's the thinking behind it? Why do people do it?

Well, I think like what you're really supposed to do is things go down on ice solution and you collect it in your cup. Doing the ice solution shot though, that is a storied thing. I don't know, I think that precoating. But they're literally putting their lips onto the ice. They're going, didn't you see?

They're like licking the ice and like it's shooting into their mouth. It's disgusting. I wouldn't do it with this cast or anyone from Bravo. So they're doing it. into their mouth is disgusting. I wouldn't do it with this cast or anyone from Bravo. So they're doing it in like a party and Rod shows up and Taylor goes, you look fire.

So that was her attempt to use young people language. And then Rod is like, I like your bunny ears. She goes, they're pom-poms. Get it right, please. your bunny ears. And she goes, they're pom-poms. Get it right. Um, please. And then Taylor is, Taylor sees Craig. And she's like, Craig and I aren't quite on our best foot forward. I think that's something. So, um, Craig, you should, you should drink. Mine is the spicy mate. My favorite is the spicy mango so and he's like okay And that's that's that yeah

And they're all and then Madison's like Craig you look like the dude from Shrek. I mean no, I mean my sister's ink I mean I mean no who's that real stupid person on TV? Just any of them that could be you you're the strictest, stupid person, you know, that's what you look like. I just wanna say you're probably gonna, I just wanna be the first person to say that you're probably going to drown yourself in the pool by standing in it while it's being filled up. Okay, I just wanna say that so in the future,

I can say roll tape and they'll deal it. So then Leva tells Madison that Austin's not coming, and math's like, oh, I'll do it. So then, Leva tells Madison that Austin's not coming and math's like, oh, I'll have a doubt. And Leva says, Leva, it's like, it's just petty. It's just petty. You can't just come to support someone's giving out free cell tour and you just can't be there to support that difficult task. So then Austin comes to Whitney's house and Whitney's like, hey, brother, you know we should

have some, caviar, we should have some caviar. And Austin's like, oh yeah, baby, this would change the name of, where's your mother? Where is she? Mother's, in her bedroom, she heard that, she heard that like a, a stupid man is coming over.

So she hit away. So the ship steers doing her new hobby, which is his needle point, but instead of needle point, she's just pointing at Randy with a needle and poking timing holes in him. Ha ha ha ha. She wanted to protect her skin from your saliva. So they're like talking and what's going on

with your foibles and the love department of foibles. And I was like, oh, so you want to hear about the foibles? I think we're out of a cocktail first. So they like have some shots and everything. And I was like, shots in vodka, god damn it. There's a thing right now. It's a thing right now. I did dead.

But Whitney is like, yeah, this dog is like, what is this point in these humans we're imbibing? I said imbibing, so it's good. I just like to highlight how stupid you are with my own bookabbie layer in front of you. So Taylor is insane this story. So she calls me and she's like, she's crying, she's just rot and wouldn't either,

wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, she was crying. And he's like, yeah, because you know, she's saying, I don't even know if she wants to be friends. Like, oh, she doesn't know if Olivia wants to be friends. And, you know, basically tells her kind of a very watered down version of what's actually going on right. Yeah.

And it's like, and I don't want to be there because then if I go hug Taylor, then Olivia's going to get jealous and like he's not doing all of this on purpose, you know? Yeah. So when he is like, is she angry with the assumption of perhaps you and Taylor might have had something like, is there a latent suspicion that's hovering? hovering? Here's my note. Austin eats disgustingly. Can we please stop showing people eat disgustingly? Austin can't eat. Please stop showing Austin eating. It's more, he's and this is why I think he's good for Olivia because they both eat like this. Yeah. And shit flies out of their mouth. I don't want to watch these people eat. Stop.

We've been saying since the beginning that Austin looks like Fuzzy Bear. And he literally eats the way Muppet's eat. You know what, with Muppet's eat because they don't actually have digestive tracks. They usually put some food in their mouth and they chomp and the crumbs all fall out. That's literally how Austin flies out.

He's out. He's out. And he's doing it right now. It is horrible. I can't stand this. So Whitney's like, well, did you guys make out? No, well, first he's even disgustingly. Then he goes, he goes, so, and by the way,

what's the big deal? What if we did make out? And Whitney goes, oh, wait a minute. See, you did make out. And he's like, no, no, I'm saying what if we made out? He's like, um, well, I'm guessing, uh, you've not hooked up with her out of respect to Shep and we have loyalty to him, right? When he's basically like, remember, this is how you, what you should be saying. Remember you're supposed to be a friend, so you did not hook up with Taylor and

I was like, well, the question is, if Olivia tried to entertain that with him, like, do you think Shep would have just just gone for it and not said a fucking word? He's basically saying, like, this isn't fair because if a livid, like, Shep would have gone for Olivia if it was reversed. So, basically, basically implying, like, so I was allowed to go up to Taylor. Yeah, but the implication with the implication here is that you were going after Taylor the whole time to get it shut. Like like you guys were acting like you were in a couple last year. So you have to understand how that's a little fishy, sir. So when you say, don't try to deflect.

And then don't try to deflect, although I wish I could deflect right now. I don't really have, I definitely have chewed up salami in my eyes. I wish I still had my plastic oven shield. Do you have a Waldoz mask around? So Austin's like, oh, did you get food? Did you get leon's, by the way? He's like, Austin, it's fucking free-loader. He's like, did you get fancy ass food free too as I pop open expensive bottles of wine at your house

and champagne? This guy's free loader. Exactly. So when he basically tells us that he'd heard some rumblings about the two of them, Austin and Taylor, and based on the way Austin is acting, I'm kind of smelling a rat here. No, that's just Randy. He hasn't bathed in four days. Randy, take a bath.

Sometimes, dried blood does have a smell too. Hey, Randy, please, ma'am. I'm a dog lady, but I'm not afraid to use my cat and on tails on Rand. So then we go back over to Shep and Olivia. They're riding together in their Uber and Shep is like, here we go. I don't know what to expect. I mean, what do we do? We just walk in and smile. That's usually how you do it with a party. I don't know. I mean, he's just so used to sneaking around.

This is how he is, you know. He's like, I have an uncomfortable amount of English, what's that? Just quiet, dude. I don't know it. So that's a two-shot. Bad vibes, I got bad vibes, Chef, okay. Yeah, I don't really understand all of this stuff.

So she goes, so he's like, all right, let's get down to brass tax and she goes, I love your expressions. Ever heard of Dimer, doesn't? God, that's so funny. Okay, so where are the tax? Press has to pay tax. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so where are the tax? Press has to pay tax. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Did you say bras or bras? Oh, they sound totally different. So Taylor told me that her in Austin, like they had a relationship talk about being in a relationship, but then like, you know what really got to me?

It's like the timeline of it, because it was after New York. And he's like, yeah, because you guys were hanging out then, right? You weren't Austin. And she's like, yeah, it was messy. It was like, it's like what happens to me, don't pay your brass tax, you know? It was just like really messy and like dangerous. And you know, Taylor and Austin late, no, they, they talked to their families, like it was that serious. And she's like, running it by people means

there was more than just a real friendship. Olivia, man, I don't know what to say. Mainly because I'm afraid anything I say you won't understand. Okay, what's a good idiom that I could use for you? It's raining like cats and dogs out there. Oh, God, she's calling the ASPCA. You know, maybe Taylor just needed arms to run into, but I'm like him being those arms, when there's you and me to consider, Dad is reprehensible. Oh, I'm assuming that means shitty of them,

so I'm gonna go with you. Doesn't mean he gets the law. No, we were right the first time. Okay, I won't call the police, but I agree with you. Doesn't mean he gets the law. No, we were right the first time. Okay, I won't call the police, but I agree with you. So back to Republic, there's some past apps going around. There's no Grace Lilly, by the way, which feels wrong. And then our Craig is talking. I literally say that about every place I got to. Where is Chris? I'm like, Hey, how good? Is it great, Sully here? No? Fuck this door. Fuck you guys into loom.

So then Leva's talking and she's like, so she's talking to JT. And she's like, we're just talking about how Austin isn't showing up. And JT's like, yeah, speaking of Austin, you know, I'm a big guy's guy. Well, when I say big guy's guy, I'm like a short guy's guy, but you know what I'm saying? But I'm big emotionally. And one of the things that always sort of rub me the wrong way is like, when I say big guys, like a short guy's guy, but you know what I'm saying, but I'm big emotionally. And one of the things that always sort of rub me the wrong way is like, when God's break what I called professional courtesy, I'm gonna trademark that one.

It just cuts to their faces, Leva and Vita looking at him like you fucking douchebag. Like how are we still casting douchebags on this? So have we learned a thing from this? Then it customaticin during the ice luge and she's like, yeah, and that's how your mama got herpes. So when we cut back and JT's like, guys, you know what bro code is and they're like bro code professionalism.

And he's like, that's professional courtesy between, yeah, we get it JT, okay? Very good. The Herpes are hard to talk to. between, yeah, we get it, JT, okay? Very good. I hope you try to mark that. Yeah, yeah. So he's like, it's a professional courtesy between Rose and Austin Taylor, how to sleep over in his home. And I'm not accusing anyone of doing anything nefarious.

I'm just saying, as a professional courtesy, I'm just gonna say it over and over again until it takes off. You don't sleep with your boy, with your boy, as a girlfriend, okay? What you do is your boy as ex-girlfriend, okay? What you do is you pond for her from a distance, okay? In a room, just stare. You just stare and say,

I hope she loves a short man. Short-king, you will. You use your family money to build an Airbnb that you can invite her into and flirt with her heavily. Okay, that's for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure. That's where you're in, or should I say, your ins.

So he says, so I guess the alibi was that she slept in the guest room and Madison's like, last time I went to that shit box, there wasn't a bed in there. So good luck. And I was like, oh my god, now we have to go check if there's a bed in the guest room. Wow. So then we cut to Shep and Olivia and Shep's like, well, is it weird that we arrived together? And she's like, we live right next to each other, please.

And he's like, no, but in this day, 2023, perception has become reality. Have you heard women are working? What is it? You know, if we deny too much people will say I forget the expression about protesting Doth and something but you know what I'm saying and so so everyone they walk in and everyone's hugging Olivia and everything and math like I'm I'll see shocked to see Olivia like I don't know a girl in

America who would have handled the news about Austin and Taylor and stayed come are probably would have swept tails hair out and Nick Nick name would have been patches So chef and Taylor have a moment and we get a That snakes like let me just snakes like chefs like my Taylor. It's like um Thanks so much for coming I guess, it's like, um, thanks so much for coming, I guess. And he's like, thanks for the end. Why, how are you?

I want to look teaple into your eyes. I'm just like, uh, good. I'm wearing pom-poms. He's like, yeah, everything going well. It's like, uh, yeah. So good to see you. You should grab a day chaser. And he's like trying to look deeply into her eyes and she's like, oh, fun fact. It was originally

called job chaser, but they knew they wouldn't get you to drink it. So Rod and Olivia Hulking and she loves his outfit and they're like being very flirty. And then some people are doing shots together. Rod Riegos up. And then Taylor's talking about, so he's like talking to Olivia. And then Taylor goes up to Rod Rigo and hugs Taylor right in front of Olivia. And it's like, hot, like she stole the gay. So now the guys are like, let's go go to drink.

Hormol Lebron, just kidding, I'm gay. So they want to get drinks. And then now it leaves Olivia and Taylor for their awkward moment. And she's like, I just wanted to let you know that like, I'm here for support. So just you know, just you know, it's what I'm here. And so yeah, support. And thank you. I can't tell you how much it really means to me to have you here. So thanks. Yeah. So just want to let you here. So thanks. Yeah. So just want to let you know, bye.

Okay. Come on. Go. Go. Go. Go. Those two should go into her. So then Rod, uh, they're probably going to start a podcast. Yeah.

They will. So Rod and Madison hug and, um, she's like, Married Life is good. It's real good. You know, they don't put them on the front lines anymore because he's, uh, he's a married person. So that's good. He's in the back lines You know, they only put the guys in the single-sleep friend Which is helpful. All right cool

So hey, I talked to your ex-boyfriend about Olivia. I was like, can you just please not mention that he's not ex-boyfriend Just kind of like embarrassing, you know, it's like when you change your name and start a new last I was like when you're a protection program. Okay. So he's like, oh yeah, well, our mutual friend, can we just not mention mutual friend? How about this? Hey, remember that old bath mat that you used to have it that you gave to Goodwill? So just say that you saw that someplace. Okay, yeah. So the old bath mat, I'll talk of the bath mat. And, well, he's, you know, he took it well on the surface, but I'm pretty skeptical that he doesn't like that I'm dating Olivia.

Madison doesn't care, okay, and you're trying too hard. And also I don't believe that you're dating Olivia either. So please, this shows, this shows faker than the bath mat. I believe it, oddly enough, I believe it. I believe Rod and Olivia, Olivia. Relivia. Well, you know, that is a not a terrible couple, man. I believe it. I believe Rod and Olivia. Relivia. Relivia. Well, you know, that is a not a terrible couple, man. Or it could be a liver rod.

But that's more of like this. Oh, God. Oh, the God. Oh, Rod. Oh, Rod. No, I like Relivia. So back to the dark kitchen, Austin's like, Whitney, this is amazing right now.

And what he's like, a liver rod. It would be a liver rod. Would be that, would be how you make that happen. A liver rod. Sorry, go ahead. I love a couple names. So Austin's like, I was like, hey, thanks for hosting and getting some lions.

You know, like, you know what, like, the bad thing about alcohol is nothing. I'm sure your parents have a lot to say about that. I'll tell you what the bad part of it is still paying for our son's life. Okay. Well, I mean, that's their own damn fault. You created this monster, okay? Fix it.

That's what I have to say to her. Antium. What are their names? What are their names? My name's like fix it lady and lady and mr So Whitney's like, you know, there's a This great author called Mark Amos, you know, and he says that alcohol kills the past because the way forward is In consequential so that makes sense. And Austin's like, no.

He's like, do I have to use some sort of like critical analysis on this? Because I am not capable of that. So when you say, well, you know, to me, it should, because it made you more to me, more lovable. Once I stop thinking about all the things you've done in the past, up to 45 seconds ago. So Austin's like, so what? We're celebrating being mad. And so Whitney is like, okay, so let's talk about this party. What's going on over there? And Austin's like, let's call Craig.

So they do. And Whitney pulls out his phone. He's like, okay, let me look through my phone here. I was like, Craig, Craig Connover, Craig Connover. That's why I come up here on my phone. Hey, Randy, go tell that to my mom. I just said, Craig Connover, Randy. Please, let me go back up there, sir. Please.

So Austin's like, it's like, you just called me, you just called me, you idiot. Just forget about the past, forget about the past. Okay, so Austin's like, I'm gonna call Craig because you're busy me off. So Madison answers for Craig. He's like, has a beauty, this is cute, I'm also vegan. And Austin's like, oh hi, it's Madison,

you're insane right now that your answering is phone. And I wouldn't just like, hey, Madison, I'm just you baby. Literally nothing's going on, by the way. This has been 20 minutes of watching this process happen. Well, still talk about every goddamn second of it, though. So basically, they make fun of Craig's outfit, and then they say that they should come over to the house for a party, and for me to say, wait, is that an open invite?

And then when he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not, it's not, it's not, no, it's like, Jesus, this girl can't catch a break with this cast. Seriously. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now and oh wow well hey I talked to Taylor and about that Olivia conversation well I mean I talked to Olivia about that conversation I found out about it gosh it was so much worse I was like what oh god so it wasn't just like like a drunken thing it was like a it was like a whole thought process gosh yeah I'm oh Craig's like oh god all right well I'm gonna leave in ten minutes if you want to come with me and he's like oh no gosh okay I'm Craig's like, oh God, all right. Well, I'm gonna leave in 10 minutes if you wanna come with me.

And he's like, oh no, come on. Okay, I'm gonna come with you. Would you wait for me? It's like, well, wait for you if you're gonna come but I'm not gonna wait for you and then you don't come. Come on, okay, I'm gonna come, hold on. So now the waiting for Shep Game begins.

And Shep is loving this finally being a victim of something. So he wants to go out to every single person at the party and be like, you know what? I'm so hurt. Cause I think Austin tried to steal my ex girlfriend. Oh, God. You wanna hug me? You can.

You should do it. Hmm. And, um, meanwhile Madison's asking Olivia about her date with Rod. And she's, Olivia's like, yeah, it was fine. Like, we went on a date and got like coffee and mess like, oh really? Cause he's like, wait, mind to you based on what his answer was. Like, he's like, I love her.

Okay. No, just kidding. But really, he's like obsessed with you. Just kidding. No, but he's like, he like wants to have your children. So now, chef is who just said he was going to leave his ordering a shot. And he's like, can I have a beer beer? Not one of these stupid day, J. Sure,'s like, can I have a beer beer, not one of these stupid day-chaser girly beers? I want a manly beer. I want a beer who wouldn't be,

I want a beer who would be upset if his wife wanted to work. So then, then Shepsy is J.T. and he's like, J.T. you start this whole damn thing. And J.T. he's like, what did I do? Except just love a sweet dog named Bobby Seed. Check nothing, nothing, nothing. You shone a light.

So then Craig is like, oh my God, when are you gonna go? He's getting so annoyed at how long I'm taking to get out of this party, which is funny because this is like an ongoing theme of the season as one person trying to leave and having to wait for someone else. Yes. So JT is clasping his pearls at the news that this could actually be happening. And so Madison and Craig are leaving waiting for Shep. He's taking forever, you know, typical. Madison's getting so pissed because it's raining all over her, you know. Yes. So now Shep is telling Taylor,

Shep is telling Taylor. He's like, so I talked to Olivia and you know, I was so good at it. That's what people are saying now, right? I mean, listen, this is your night and I wanted to be bussin, but sorry, I've been hanging out with Olivia. Do you understand my fornacula? And he's basically like, I just want like, you know, I need to talk to Austin because I want some honesty from him. And just like, you can get honesty from me too. Here's some honesty, Day Chaser, a wonderful beverage for wonderful times. And she's like, I was just surprised to hear a garsh that you guys start like, you guys talked about whether you should start seeing each other so quickly. After everything, that's wild, that's just crazy. Now it's sort of funny because when Shep brings it up,

I'm actually a little bit more on Taylor's side because Shep treated Taylor like shit. So it's like yeah, she should go and make plans with someone else. Good for him. It's the only normal response from a decent human being. Fuck you Shep, You cheated on Taylor. You treated her like shit.

You made her look like an idiot on national TV. You're an asshole. She doesn't owe you anything. And I want her to fuck all your friends, frankly. Okay. I think the only person she owes anything to is Olivia because she was actually friends with Olivia and exciting him for her back.

She doesn't owe you shit, Chef. So cut your crying and stop. So he's trying to do this whole thing with her. And she's like, well, okay, you saying it's double standards. Um, okay, I guess that could work, except that you'd been cheating on me through the whole relationship. And he's like, Oh, God, please, you're with me six days a week. You know, that's not true. I only cheated on you one day a week of during our relationship that lunches while you

were at work. Come on. We're all out to cheat on the Sabbath. So Taylor is like, he's just like, Austin is the person I had to lean on in that moment because I forgot about God. Damn it. I mean, come on, damn it. Sorry, God, but we are both very broken people. And we're like broken people, break people. Right? Is that the expression? I don't know. You

push us together to broken people. It was we're just broken teapots. And so Shep is like, in what universe do you think that would be a good idea? We used to laugh about him. We used to make fun of him. And now next do you think that would be a good idea? We used to laugh about him. We used to make fun of him. And now next thing you know, you're like, what? And you're like, we're gonna give it a shot. We're gonna give a shot with a food, with a flapping tongue, who doesn't have money, and still wears Patagonia vest.

Well, I guess I wear Patagonia vest too. But I wear a more expensive version. Yes, because the only thing that seems to be able to penetrate your wall of narcissism is to be outmaneuvered by another guy and she knows it's going to piss you off. And why do you think she's doing it? Like, you never got this bothered about anything in your relationship with her. So what are you so worried now? And like last week when he's like, he's in a sandbox touching my toys.

I mean, this is what you fuck get. Yeah. For referring to people as your toys, you piece of shit. Of course, I'm totally team Taylor on this. Okay, now let's go back to Olivia so I can switch back against Taylor. Yeah, so now Shep leaves.

He's like, that was a head-e-ass encounter. I'm crazy. I sit in the rain for a while, so I hope it was. I hope I didn't get myself rainy on and, I, or, I don't like water, which is why my pool is empty. So mask like, what's case scenario? Like, okay, let's think about this, theoretically.

What's case scenario? They actually want to be together. And by worst case scenario, I mean, like, totally accurate scenario that I predicted life for three years in a row. It's like my bad ship. So now they go to Whitney's and they immediately start with Austin, right man? So like, well, we share talks about you and it was much better than talking to you. I can guarantee you that because none of us ran away with the film over our face.

So Craig's like, Shep, don't be a pussy. Come and do what you came here to do. Shucks him corn. That's what I'm here to do. No, Shep. I'm just here to do. Shucks them corn. That's what I'm here to do. No, chef. I'm just here to poke Randy with a neat needle. We still doing that.

It's my favorite new game with Patricia's house. Hey, I'll get a couple of bunch of ears to corn. Once you've done, Shucks and them just throw him at Randy. See how many he can dodge. You know what? Patricia don't mock Shucks and Corn. So today we're going to Shucks and Randy.

Okay, I'll see you all in a minute. So Austin's like, well, look at these two motherfuckers and so there's like hugs and greeting and everything when you say oh shut you look a little bit stressed. Let me get you drink. Oh let me get you drink. Oh I have some red wine my friend. Do you have any sort of um, Guyanti or should I say cheater on T, huh? I made that up. There was no call for Kianti. I don't know why I don't know. I'm right up there. Who's chef and finally pulls Austin aside

because they're having this really bad front partay where they're like, maybe she's some chicken. I don't want to. It's like, okay, well this has been fun. Just go, have your scene. So they leave and Craig tells us that chefs usually the bad guy. So now all of a sudden he's a victim and it's really hard to process.

Which I think the whole audience can understand, right? So now, Craig, we had, don't forget, we also had to get used to actually being a relative good guy in this cast, okay? We've all, we're used to making these pivots. Yes, exactly. Southern charm for Christ sake. So then, um, Shep and Austin go talk and which I also have to say just still on Craig, no one is feeling bad for Shep, which I have to say I'm proud of this cast because everyone else is like, you know, I don't know, I don't know what they are,

but they're feeling bad for Olivia, but they're not feeling bad for Chef, which I like. He's trying to go from person to person, and they're like, uh-huh, so. And so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so with Taylor, and I said, that's fine. But the reality is that Taylor might not have told you is that Olivia Scherz told me this today. She said, what does Dom and doesn't mean?

Isn't that crazy, Garsh? But she also goes, Taylor and Austin and I had a conversation about whether we should get together. And Austin's like, sigh. And Scherz was like like by the way man that takes thing to whole another level like we'll not hold another financial level you'll never be at my level but I'm just telling you it's a whole other level and then Craig and Whitney Craig's like so do you think it happened and Whitney goes

no he both of those those people I'd say there was definitely an exchange of fluids that coming out. Man, it's like crows. So then we cut back and Odyssey, Odyssey, I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. It's the end of the week. So Austin's like, yeah, you know, we were always so super tired and closed and I just didn't think it would be a point of contention, but then it did. And you know, well, there

was just all this outside chatter and stuff. So what do you mean point of contention? What does that mean? Because you just say it's a bone of contention. I can't try to hint at something. You're so vague all the time. Just say it, Ken Burns. Just say it.

He's like, you're hurt right now. God damn it dude. We're not drinking, we're like drinking a fuck ton tonight God, I don't even remember what I was saying anyway. I I love chicken. So chef has a button Vino maritas and Austin's like Oh In wine Wine, there's contention. No, truth, truth, yeah, yeah, yeah, truth. So Shep is like, speak the fucking truth Austin,

don't be vague, speak the truth. And he's like, what are you asking me? If you hooked up with her, what are you asking me? If you hooked up with her, and if you didn't hook up with her, would you tell me, Garsh? And Austin goes, ah, to find a cup. Everyone's Everyone's like oh see if fucking Austin loves this. How does anybody? How do any of the women on this show ever trust Austin? He does this to every woman he's ever been with

because make it sound like what how could anybody suggest it blah blah blah and then just when you're starting to believe it not me but you they start he just reminds you that no to believe it, not me, but you, they start, he just reminds you that no, he did do it. And he's gonna try and like rub it in your fucking face. This guy's so good. But he also loves the power trip of making people teased it out of him, like this is where he gets his jolly's because he's ultimately gonna say,

no, of course, we didn't do anything, but he's gonna torture ship you a little bit and be like, well, what do you mean? What do you know? And he does this to every single person. It's so fucking annoying, he's gonna torture himself a little bit and be like, well, what do you mean? What do you know? And he does this to every single person. It's so fucking annoying. He's the worst. And with that, that is the end of the episode.

It was too be continued. We're gonna find out next week what happened, I guess. But until then, we're just gonna have to wait. So thanks everyone for being here for a really fun week of crap ends. We'll be back on Monday with some more real hassles of New York, et. etc. etc. Thanks for being here and we will catch you on the next one.

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