Watch What Crappens - #2200 Below Deck Med: Max’s Min

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

*This episode is available as a video at Crappens On Demand* Below Deck Med tries to deal with Max’s laziness. It’s a tough employee pond to wade through this season, but at least the man knows how to do some dips. For this week’s bonus, Ronnie talked to one of our besties, the amazing and hilarious Ryan Bailey of the So Bad It’s Good podcast. We talk about the state of Bravo, Bethenny, and the upcoming RHOBH season.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, yeah You guys is that gonna be how the show's gonna go today? We're gonna open up with the fucking scene seriously Guys, I'm sorry normally I would edit that out, but that's part of crap. I'm on demand That is I call it I call it good for you guys. I don't even have allergies I don't know what's wrong with me, but you know what Ben is back today. I'm Ronnie that's Ben hi Ben. Welcome hi, Ronnie sweet guy I'm back. I'm back. I'm back at home literally home like a childhood bedroom style back from my appendicitis About in the hospital, but everything's okay. Everything's cool. Pendix is out and I'm just happy.

I'm just happy to be back to work, you know. You know, I'm just just because you know what, Ronnie, without me, you were just you. But now that we're together, we're a team. And guess what? Teamwork makes the dream work. Guys, sure does. Glad to have you back, bitch. You too.

Glad to have you back after bitch. You too. Glad to have you back after your appendicitis. Okay. Or as we call that around the office when you weren't here, the appended don't want to go to work. Bloop. Hey, thanks for making fun of the fact that I almost died. Okay, that's really considerate. I don't say that every time you nearly steer your ship into an iceberg or a mountain or any sort of water Where people will die naturally I'll be making fun of you long after your dead. Don't worry about that. I'll be there for you. Okay? loser

Well, that's great. Thanks for being there for me long after. I'm dead. Did you see the same thing about the 45 people you ran over in the waters with your yacht because you're a terribly yacht driver. Guys, welcome to below deck, man. I just want to open the show by thanking the gift gods. I got a gift this week. And Ben is on his way, I'm sure. Okay. Also, I just want to brag about this with Ben ailing I know he's not around his home. He's still in New York. So he's not getting his mail So Ben is just gonna get FOMO from this announcement. So that's that's what I'm here for I know a bend a dive but it's an asideus. I want him to die of FOMO

I'm gonna die of FOMO like all week ever since I left it was like I got no package It was ever ever no packages and then the moment I left home A lot to come here to New York a week ago. It's nonstop like guess what there's a delivery guess what here's a D.H.L. Wow D.H.L. Hey, here's FedEx. Here's here's a USPS and here's UPS We all want to give you things and it's like nonstop and I'm so mad and I know how much it bothers you And it just brings me such pleasure. So I just want to start with that.

But yeah, thank you to the gorgeous and talented Mr. Daniel Pellegrino, Dami Pellegrino sent his new book, which his old one, I mean his old one. I'll talk with dad. His original book is really good. This one is called The Joliest Bunch on Hinge Holiday Stories by Danny Pellegrino.

I just want to also thank you Danny, not only for the book, but for the quote on the back of the book from Ronnie Carrom. Oh, awesome. No, there's not one. There's not. Oh, so that was a sarcastic thank you. Because I didn't give you one, okay?

So is it that you didn't ask or that I didn't give it? I don't know. But I was a little bit of a part. What would your quote have been? What would your quote have been for Danny Pellegrino? I can't improvise that. But I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is.

I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. I'll see what mine is. You just bought a book by one of the rudest, nastiest people who works in podcasting.

Hope you enjoy the stories about someone who's totally self-involved at an asshole and everyone on the internet knows it. Danny Pellegrino. Here's my quote, I have once paid for porn hub, premium, and still I had never seen a bigger asshole until I met Danny Pellagrino.

Danny Pellagrino, the most horrible person in the game. Danny Pellagrino is one of the sweetest, most talented fucking naturally carries mappings. He's so lovely. He's a really good writer and look just the story I happen to open up on is called Advent Calendar, which you know, I love me an Advent Calendar story.

So plus this guy go buy his books, support this guy, he is worth it. He's great. Love you, Danny. Thanks for sending that over to me. Love you, Danny. Congratulations. It's amazing. It is a huge feat.

That guy works his balls off. He does. He does. Alright, let's get to it. Today is below deck Mediterranean day. The episode is season eight episode five. It's called max tension. Max, this episode could have also been known as lesser sun slash not panda tension. Max tension, because he's the only person to serve that actually carries plates around does the hard work am I right? This episode is also called what's the opposite of nepot baby tension

Because we give max episode is called panty not tension So Haley is scolding max the episode So, um, uh, Hayley is scolding Max. The episode, uh, apparently we left off with Hayley being like, Max, could you just be like, Quang for like a second, I might train to pull in ropes. Could you just like, shut up for a second? And then he's like,

Botezi, but I have to do zero ups, you know? What do my supposed to do here? Well, if you just listen to me and then the controls, and it wouldn't have been sitting madhouse brawl. He's like, oh, shush, shush, shush, shush. So then we go to, um, Tumi inside who's exhausted. She's like, oh, shush, shush, shush. So then we go to, um, to me inside who's exhausted. She's just had it out with Madalie.

To me is trying to like smooth it over. And Madalie is like, well, I'll tell you what I don't want. To be your friend or a, so you want me to do a toilet or do a tour that you want me to do a top of the cross-buildin or to the top of the cross-buildin what I will not do.

It's big friends with you. So then, and then Jessica, Jessica is someone who's on the show by the way, for anyone's wonder when I say Jessica, there's a cast member named Jessica, and her big contribution is that she pulls out a can of soda and then knocks it over. And she's like, oh my god. So now that somebody tells me to clean that up, because I really hate being a leader. Oh, when I was in ninth grade, I was on a cheer squad. And I just hated all those bitches. They always made fun of me when I

did the human pyramid. But then it turns out that my human pyramid was just eight other cans of soda. It was so awkward. So they are getting the line secured and pulling in and the captain's like, whoa, Haley, Max, slow down, communicate. And Haley just goes, I'm piercing. And she tells us, coming from tongues, like, we're just different. And like, we tie things different on tugs than we do on a regular both. So this is only my second time doing it. You know what I mean? And like, I don't even know, like the situations one isn't even better than the other. I'd say they're tied. Okay, people going on to Blow Deck, I'm just going to say this going forward. I really don't

give a fuck about what sort of vessel you used to work on that wasn't a yacht because it has no bearing on what's happening now. Because we just sat through an entire season of Adam on Bologdeck or whatever down under, being like, you know, I just wanna buy a house from my mom and my brothers who also my kids, because I used to work on cargo ships and on cargo ships who used to spin the wheel to the left. And now, and this way, you spin it to the right. I'm like, I don't care.

Your job is this, do your job, do your job, huh? Do your job. Right, and also, let's just make things more universal. Like a rope is a rope. You know what I mean? That's just like a tie rope. Like whatever happened, just tying a rope. In my day, we could just tie a rope,

and that was the end of it. There wasn't a bowlin' and a schmolin' and a tie. Yeah, we don't tie an ambulance. Yeah, tie an ambulance. Yeah, tie an ambulance. Here's what we need. We need to not hear about the tugboat. Okay, because you know what, if I wanted to hear about the tugboat. Okay, because you know what?

If I wanted to hear about the tugboat, I'll be watching below deck tugboat edition, which doesn't exist, and there's a reason why. Because no one cares about the tugboat. I care about tugboats in general in life. I think they're the most adorable boats that there are. Like at the cutest, most sweetest boat is a tugboat. But in this case,

they're also more of the most overhyped. You know what I mean? I feel like tugboats have the best PR because whenever someone thinks of a tugboat, they think of something adorable. It's like, what's that adorable tugboat cartoon? It's like, I'm just a tugboat. It's so cute. But in real life, tugboats suck. What are they tugging? Nothing good. They're always tugging fucking trash barges or tugboats or tugboats or people who come into your house and do your dishes even though you don't even though you're like it's fine

I've got it, you know, they're like, oh let me just move this boat for you like no, no the boat doesn't have to go anywhere No, I'm just gonna do it. It's sort of my job. It's fine. I like doing it I actually enjoy talking boats like I didn't ask you to this boat supposed to be the dock Yeah, I tug boats. They're like you know what guys people are so many to tug boats Let's make a cartoon tugboat that everybody falls in love with. Change it around for tugboats, see? Tugboats are the sidekick of boats. They literally just live to be around bigger boats

that they could just sort of like, be like, hey, check this out. It's over here. So Haley does her tugboat thing and then Max goes, okay, we have big dinsum now. And she's like, you can say that again. He's like, hmm, like long term employment, I do not get it.

Mm. Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho. So the crew's getting into their whites and yeah, Haley's best at telling Lara that Max is horrible. And then she tells Luca, she's like, um, aren't you the bossin? Like, I'm not sure, because in Tugs, like, it's really hard to know who the bossin is.

And I don't like people, like, don't like bossin, don't, don't you deal with people that no one else like wants to deal with? Cause that's how it works in Tugwolds. Hmm. So then Natalia and Kyle are changing, getting ready for the guests. And Talia's like, we talked it out,

and then it went like this. K. K. K. And basically, here's the ending or I don't want to be a friend He's like Jesus so now Max is talking to Luca and Max like bro It's not very good. I think it's like a little bit of like play ego game of ego with her There's a girl woman woman things you can boss man around like does not good bro And so now the guests are saying goodbye. That's what they were

getting ready for. The guests to say goodbye. Matti come on board. Say goodbye. So now the guests say goodbye and Mecca's like you guys have an amazing crew and we travel a lot. Okay. All lot. So we did have some hiccups with the chef. No pun intended. But that was a lot of pasta to serve one poor vegan. A lot of massive reflux going on there. But you know, it was some of the best jerk lobster we ever had. And to me, we just want to take you home. And I'm being 100% honest.

To me was great. In fact, everyone was great. Everyone, to me, Kyle, the little girl who doesn't know how to put a soda on its side, all the deck hands, am I missing anyone here? You just can see Natalia being like, I can't believe she didn't even mention me. I mean, I was basically chiefs deal on this charter. Yeah, so I need champagne. And she tells us, as usual, the guest never knows what's going on behind the scenes.

They just see us and they think everyone's great. So the fact that they didn't pick up on the chaos is very good. I'm actually very, very happy about that. I'm like, are you, I can't tell if she's mad at the guest for not being perceptive or she's praising themselves for being able to still work through the mess professionally. Yeah, she's pissed. Yeah, so they're cleaning cleaning cleaning, and now it's like to meeting. So Sandy is like, wow, hey everyone, God, it feels like it's five charters in. Maybe that's because it's episode five of the season,

and we're only like two charters in. Wow. So God, crazy. Hey, when I first heard with all you people, I shared that I had to earn your respect and trust. But what I left out, because here's the twist, is that you have to do it too. You have to earn.

I don't know what you have to do. Do you have to earn each other's respect or do you have to earn my respect? I'm gonna let you figure that out, okay? It's a trick question. Okay, now listen, we're all gonna make mistakes, but you gotta respect the position in the workplace. I want you to all think about that. Respecting positions.

Down dog. Anybody? I respect you. That's a good one. I salute the down dog. I salute child's permissionary. That's a position. Dog, listen.

Hey, we're all gonna make mistakes. It's pretty much guaranteed if you're dealing with norma. Am I right? Anyone high five? Who wants to high five me on? Up high Anyone? No. Oh you guys don't work with norma. Consider yourselves lucky Anyway, this is a professional setting and I hired professional people who've never worked on a yacht before and I expect them to be Professional at something they have no idea what they're doing and that and that argument that happened that can never idea what they're doing. And that argument that happened, that can never happen again. And to show that, I'm uncrossing my hands multiple times. It can never happen again.

You're safe at first base, but that can never happen again. This hand, I have gone through a lot of tugboats and cheese shops to find this very yacht-like crew. Okay? So just respect the position. Please. So the tip is $26,000. If someone would like to do the Heisen position. Okay, I respect that. Good job. Good job. Good job, Luca. So, and Tummy is like that tip was so difficult, but the chop, I mean the chop, sorry, that charter was so difficult, but the chop is so worth it. Money does not equal more problems, I'm not big eight, I'm too mean.

It's like, it's another all-chip. It's a trick, we're gonna need to tweak to me, guys. We'll work on that. It's not that they're all chained. So we're gonna be, we're gonna need to tweak to me guys. We're gonna, we'll work on that. So now they're all getting dressed for dinner. We see Kyle in the lunchcloth. That Natalia points it out in laundry. This is, I don't understand this as an undergarment because I feel like this is something

that like you're supposed to put on if you are filming a nude scene in a movie. And it's like if you're on stage and it's like if you're in a high school production of hair and you're supposed to do the nude scene about you're on high school so you can't do it. And so they're like here, just wear this flesh-toned underwear. Like, it doesn't even look like it provides any benefits that underwear would provide. It's just like a strange like 350 BC Roman undergarment that you wear before you step into the bath and get olive oil scraped,

like pour it on your back and scraped off, you know. I feel like he's nude. I feel like he goes nude and they're like, Kyle, you can't go nude. But do you think? Yeah, I had that thought too. Like this was his way of sort of being as new as possible. Because you know Kyle would be just, I mean, we've seen people like where they blur out people being nude. It's not like they've never had nudity, but you know Kyle just like overdecent, you know. It's just strange. Probably like, it's my fault. Oh my god Kyle, please stop saying Frank with your butt cheeks. Please stop.

It just changes the whole world of, you know, underwear out there. And this is the option that he chose. He chose like the underwear from antiquity. Well, he also makes you look like a Kendall. Like I don't know if it's supposed to make you look naked, but it just makes you look like you're trying not to offend any, you know, any parents out there.

Because it's basically like a sack with like two sort of like strings that come out of it and then you tie it behind your butt. It's just it's so it's just an odd choice. So chef is chef Jack is in the mass talking to Laura and they're doing they have a really weird relationship. Last week they were like I'm a zombie and then they were like and this week he's like now I'm nail and she's like whoa and they start doing like matrix kicking at each other. Yeah it was strange. So then Natalia is talking to Kyle and she's like, so are you gonna call your man tonight? And he's like, well, he packed my her bag for me. And she goes, oh, I said,

I said you're gonna go out and call your man. And you're like, he packed my whole closet. And I was like, are you okay? Did he break up with you? I can go back to Frank? What are you gonna do? And he's like, oh my God, don't even say that Natalia. So you know he's gonna start, at some point he's gonna be like,

do you know what she said to me? She said my man's gonna break up with me. That's what she said to me. Can you believe that bitch? So he asked about her guy and how old he is and she's like, 31. He's like, oh, that's a perfect age. You want to get into 32. Your old can pay the 31. You know what I mean? Well, you just did it perfect. He could have been 33. That would have been a nightmare. So no, I think you was saying you want to go for a 22 year old compared to a 31 meeting like so you're interested in like Luca who's like 22 like when you could have a 30 year old.

Oh, I see. Thank you. I think that's what he said. That makes a lot more sense than whatever bullshit was just viewing out of my mouth. It's okay. You were distracted by cause long, long glove. It's below deck notes. So there's a lot of stuff like having to note in here.

Haley. Baaah! Excuse me. Like it's below deck. Half the time I'm like, why am I, what are we doing? Yeah, it's an Italian I was like, I'm so attracted to him, Luca that is. I mean, he's the fucking hottest thing ever.

I mean, Luca's best like the only thing getting me through my days right now. God, I'm so under think that I might like, like, you know, I might like like Luca. Like it feels like primary school in my hair. It makes me feel like I'm cheating in my hair. It makes me feel like my brain's a scrambled egg. You know, the problem with being in an open relationship. It's like so many different people that could leave you before dessert even comes at the same time It's like being being in an open relationship is like going to a restaurant Valentine's day and having your date Leave you in the middle of the meal, but then everyone else in the restaurant to hmm So then Max comes down and he sees Laura and he's like, oh, you look great Why are you shocked that I look like this?

Fuck you. I know. He's like, whoa, he actually goes, no way. It's so condescending. So, and then Natalia's boyfriend texts and says, babe, I don't want to be an influence on your night off. Do what you need to do. I just hope that doesn't hurt me.

You really do mean the world to me. Oh, fuck off. Get out of this guy's such a fucking manipulator. Totally. And you guys and people are allowed to be in open relationships, whatever. It's not a statement of that. But like if you're gonna be the one who says,

I wanna be in an open relationship, even though it makes you crippling, like it gives you crippling insecurity, and then you start texting them while they're outgoing. I just hope whatever you choose doesn't hurt me. F**k! That's bullshit. Oh f**k.

That's bullshit. Well, you're ruining a blowjob from someone else as you typed that. Do not tell me I literally do not care right now. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Watch what crap ends and winter is crappening of a funniest recap podcast. But if you want something more eerie, try the new podcast Go Story about my investigation into a murder suicide in my own family.

Go SoundReal, at least that's what I've always believed. Sure, odd things happen in my childhood bedroom, but ultimately I shrugged it all off. That is, until a couple of years ago, when I discovered that every subsequent argument of that house is convinced they've experienced something inexplicable too, including the most recent inhabitant who says she was visited at night by the ghost of a faceless woman. It just so happens that the alleged ghost haunted my childhood room might just be my wife's great grandmother, who was murdered in the house next door by two gunshots to the face. Ghost Story, a podcast about family secrets, overwhelming coincidence, and the things

that come back to haunted us. Follow Ghost Story on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So everyone heads out during their vans and Laura was like, oh Lucas not spending Gaben with the deck team tonight, tonight. He's gonna be spending it with Astur des Ha! Cause she's basically saying Lucas gonna be in Natalia's bed. And Laura's like, no call me, no call me the you. Laura's like, I know Luca and Natalia have ice for each other. But if they don't make it work, I'm on deck for Natalia. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, right. It's like, all right. Sounds fun to me.

So then at dinner, they're doing shots and Natalia tells Luke, okay, I have to look up this person. I'm so sorry guys, I'm, who is this person? I'm looking up right now. So she tells Luke, you're very giant Alvarist. You know who that is? And he's like, yeah, that's actually my favorite. So let's look him up, Jay.

He's a model. Oh yeah, he's, well, I mean, he's obviously a hot model. But he looks nothing, Luca looks nothing like this person. Well, I'm wondering, I thought he was gonna have a butterfly tattoo or something, because you know, Luca's doing his like pearl necklace. So I was like, oh, I wonder if he's gonna have a butterfly tattoo or something because you know Lucas doing his like pearl necklace Yeah, I was like oh I wonder if that he's gonna be like literal like I'm his fan

So I like pearl necklace is like Harry Styles and now this other guy has a butterfly necklace Jay Alvarez has not has 8.5 million followers This is the part of my life from like, who are these people that I'm like, I can see how Luca looks like Jay Alvarez. We're like, hey, let's talk about sitcom stars from the 80s, some more of this next year. Like, how many followers does Kristi McNichol have? I'm just gonna look.

Oh, yeah, so I, yeah, he's cute. But I don't think we're even allowed to say that. He's like 10. Okay, so Natalia blah, blah, blah, such as like, also I'll kind of look butterflies because of his big butterfly chest head to you. And he tells us the monarch butterflies. Like, bam, brought in the middle of the chest.

Definitely hit with ladies. It's my grandma's favorite animal, which is definitely less flirty side of it, I guess. Why am I saying that? Why are you saying that? Is a butterfly an animal? Is an insect an animal? I don't.

I don't. This is, that's one of those great areas. I'm sure there's so in the scientific, like, nomenclature of at all, and the declassifications, and the orders and all that. I'm sure I forget. I the scientific, like, nomenclature of at all, and the classifications, and the orders and all that, I'm sure I forget, I feel like animal is like the overall, but I feel like a butterfly is an insect, and I don't feel like insects are animals.

I forget, could the main, the five main families are mammals, and mammals, ripped, tot, no, no. Matt, wait, it's like Protozoa, Amiba, bacteria, fungus, and animals, I think. They're insects. So, um, but I think it's like animals. Yeah, but I think it's like animals. Yeah, but I think it's like animals.

It's like animals. Insects are animals, just like you and me. Okay, and that is from Cambridge Butterfly Conservatory. So. Oh, I'd love to meet Maud who works at the Cambridge Butterfly Conservatory. So. Oh, I'd love to meet Maud who works at the Cambridge Butterfly Conservatory. You know she wrote that article? Just something beautiful, Butterflies.

This one looks just like Jay Alvarez, which is so weird. Yeah. Anyway, it's weird that something less than 10 seconds can cause so much debate in my mind. I was like, wow, who's Jay Alvarez and are our butterflies animals So they order and

Max is like oh I will pull your drink in France A woman can never pull her own drink my mother will kill me if I ever don't pull from my sister Huh? I? me if I ever don't pour for my sister. I love when the showman does like the token thing where he thinks he's actually being respectful of to women and this is like what he'll hang every every massage just think that he does he'll they'll just use this moment as an example. I'm like no I love women. I love I say this as someone who loves a woman. I brought drinks for them.

I do not let them I do not let them put it on food because women are stupid and fragile and they cannot put her on drinks for themselves because they cannot be treated. Je parle de la chose pour eux, je ne l'ai pas fait, je ne l'ai pas fait pour les enfants, parce que les femmes sont superhéros, et ils ne peuvent pas les prendre pour les enfants, parce que ils ne peuvent pas être très trèshéroses. Oui. Les femmes sont pas les enfants, parce que les femmes sont des créatures spéciales et les femmes doivent avoir gentillement des behaviors, aussi parce que les femmes sont spécifiques. Les femmes peuvent être réellement pour les femmes, vous avez vu les flores, les couvertes en plie. women can utterly poorly pour their own wine. Have you seen floors covered in flies? So they do a toast and cause like, she used to tune me for doing such a great job, honey,

which is again, like part of Kyle's game, kissing up to tune me, et cetera. And that's what she is, girl, like very angry. And then they're all drinking and they're getting wasted and Jessica's getting really wasted. And no one talks to Jessica. Like I feel like no one on this cast realizes Jessica's there. Yeah, so they're talking about wow that was such a high tip.

You really can never tell when the guests are like not completely complimentary the whole time. You know, they're like, I wasn't sure if we were going to get a big tip or whatever. And to me, it's like, yeah, like, you know, you can be shocked if you get a big tip, but then you can also be shocked if you get a small tip. I was like, wow. And that tires like, I couldn't even, so many different, like, and it's like, I couldn't even tell what she was thinking. Like, I was like, are you even happy? And to me, it's like, oh, she was happy. She was fine.

And the Taliah was like, but what do you eat on Charter? Do you even eat? Like, to me, how do you eat food on Charter? And she's like, oh, I just usually make a little plate. And I sort of eat as I'm going through the day. That's me. That's the exact same thing. So suddenly to me and Taliah are talking

to each other like normal people. And Kyle's watching. Kyle's making an effort here, which is interesting. Because Taliah has just come off of her. We want to know big friends, and so now she's suddenly like being nice and going out of her way, being like, yeah, you know what to me?

Oh, never see you sit down, which from Natalia is huge. I mean, for Natalia to compliment how hard someone else works, is a big deal. Yeah, and the one who's most scandalized by this is Kyle. He's like, hold on, didn't it all young to me? Just stop to get along. I'm traumatized. Oh, he is not going to like that. He is going to destroy that very soon. Oh yeah. So they leave and Kyle is just going gay pride at the street. So then they go to a club

and Jack kicks up his heels and he goes, Wow, you've got really good. You've got really good dance moves. Sorry. He's, I'm like, Michael Jackson didn't call in. He said, Waco, Jack, oh, that's what they call me. They say I'm bad. I'm bad. You know it.

I'm bad. Right. So now they go do some shots and they start heading back home and Tumey is talking about they're asking each other all the service stews are hanging out with each other And they're talking about how old they are. Tumey is 28, Natalia is 25 and Kyle is 31. And Tumey is like, well, you know, 35 is transition. Yeah. And she goes, it is on on my like in iron and open relationship

Oh now I'm like why am I crying? Why am I living? Can we just all hit a briefish? Can we just all hit a briefish guys? To me is like I agree and a tire says I think we just like Like we step to each other super tired coming off these days like you got off of a flight And you were just like a super cold bitch to me. And I was just like a great stew who just like accidentally didn't realize that you're just a cranky ass person. And so I think that's all that just happened. You know what I'm saying?

And they let each other off the hook, which I thought was really nice. And they also let Kyle off the hook here because they could have just been like, and all of this was started by Kyle, but they let him off the hook too. And so they've agreed to start over. So good for them, that's interesting. It's shocking. But it was not expecting that. It was gonna happen on this show. It's shocking show.

True, I just really was not expecting that to happen so quickly. I figured they'd get to a good place, but not that quickly. So then, meanwhile, Hayiley's talking to Max, and she's like, um, can I tell you something? Talk about to talk about. I'm just like really sorry. I told you to shut up.

And he was, oh, I appreciate that. Would you like some wine? Don't, don't, don't profit yourself stupid little girl. May I live to like a wait? No? Okay.

Let me open this door for you so you don't run into the glass. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So she goes, um, I just, I just want to take it to the lines in the boat. And that's like, I really wanted to do it. And I just like, I just need to be more patient and like, that's it. And then I just got to Jessica, my tummy hurts. So then I was, and then I was like,

of course, triggered because I was like, oh my god, is there going to be an appendicitis storyline on this episode? I just got through it. So, K it So guys like what are we voting for the drunkers person because it's juice all right Just his my vote and just can't even walk and saying I need a puke really bad you guys I want to tell someone tells me to So then so then they're all back on the boat and they're heading to jikuzzi and then Lara and Luke are walking up the staircase. Luke, I'm sorry, Lara and Luca are walking up the staircase and Lara just like turns around and kisses Luca. And she goes, I love kissing people. It's just drunk fun. Kissing Luca is like kissing your brother. And I see like, I mean, I, uh, whoa, I guess that doesn't sound right.

I mean, I don't have brothers and sisters. So it's appropriate that I can say that. But instead, it's not what I'm going for. Aaaaah! So then Haley takes, she follows Jess to the bathroom, right? And Jess is like, come on, I just wanna throw up alone. She's like, Do you want water? Do you want like, I mean, I'm sorry,

but I really only know how we do it on tug boats. So hold on, I'm gonna grab your arm, it's start pulling. Okay. Hey! Hey! Thank you. Oh, so stop leave me alone. Sorry we just took everything. So then there's like more party time. You can't spell together without tug. So then Kyle starts flapping his ass cheeks in the hot tub and his weird flesh colored ass I can't please, who asked for Kyle back?

And then it's just like more party time and to me and Natalia actually hug and to me is like she's like I told Natalia was so alike and that's probably part of the problem and Natalia's like yeah I feel so fucking stupid that we've even got to that point I can't believe it I was like that we got to that point Natalia you were the one who was losing your mind anytime to me opened her mouth oh my gosh um so Max is like oh I'm so happy to work with beautiful crew like you and you, it looks like everybody's gonna make up here. So then we go to Luca and Max talking and Luke tells them, go take a shower, you smell like a cheeseburger. And he's like, oh, you look like double cheeseburger, bro.

I somehow miss that. I'm a little sad about it. So Luca, the double cheeseburger, head sound in a tallio's room, they're basically in the room together. Well, she goes, you can come in here while I share, and he's like, oh, okay. And then he's like, so what's going on? Should we go to bed? And she goes, oh, no. She bases like, no, I don't want this.

And she basically kicks him out. So, yeah, they're on and on. Again, off again, thing, they're on and on. On and on. Again, off again thing is very on off very quickly. Yeah. So now it's seven in the morning and that fucking iPhone alarm. Yeah.

Every single time I start shaking, I'm like, no, not now, not yet. Traumatic. I use the, for my iPhone, when I use it as an alarm, which is like every day, I use the, you know, they've got like a selection of, like, wake up jingles. Like, it's not like alarm sounds. It's like a little song that they play.

And you can set it. And it used to be just in the alarm section of the clock, because, you know, if you're going to set your alarm, you would have alarm music in the alarm section, but because Apple is Apple, they then moved it into like health, which makes no sense, because then if you want to set your alarm jingle, you have to be like, please, please integrate with health. Anyway, once you get that all set up, instead of having something that goes like, you can have a lovely jingle that fades up first quietly and gets louder and louder, and it's a much better way to use the alarm system on the alarm clock on iPhone.

Well, I just find that no matter what it is, I'm gonna hate it by the end of it. So I'd rather just keep it the thing I already hate, because if it's something, like, let's say I put a song that I like, you know, like, I don't wanna wait for our life to me all up. Like in two days, I'm gonna be like, fuck that song want to wait. The life to me, oh, uh. Like in two days, I'm going to be like, fuck that song. Fuck everybody.

Fuck, Paul, Nicole. I can hear it in karaoke and I'll be like, die, die. Hey, Paul, Nicole, why don't you shave your armpits already? Ha, ha, ha. Oh, so, uh, yeah, I'm just going to keep it the one that I hate already, you know. Where have all the cowboys gone?

They ran away from you, You fucking loser. That's that political thing. Those those were politicals two big songs like we're all the Cowboys gone and the Dawson Creek song. Yeah, they went to the deodorant store. Hopefully they'll be back soon. You fucking weirdo. I don't want to wait. Oh gosh, could you imagine making that your alarm song? Like that's the song that you listen to every time to wake up. Yeah, it makes sense, right?

Like get out of bed. You don't wanna wait for your life to be over. Like live, take the day, mouse the time. But it sounds like actually, it sounds like she's waiting for you to wake up so that way she can continue her life. She's like, ugh, I wanna do so much today, but Ben is still sleeping.

I don't wanna wait for my love to be over. Yeah. Oh, Paula. She does great. We miss you. So Jessica thinks she has a throat infection in the morning. Jessica, you were shit-faced, and I'm sorry, you don't get to call in sick when you're wasted. How many times have we learned that on this show? And Jessica's always bragging about how she loves working and not being, you know, and

she loves being bossed around. I'm surprised that she's gonna pull this throat infection bullshit. Yeah. So then Natalia goes up to Kyle and I was like, hey, let's clean the rooms downstairs, that way we can talk shit together, we can like gossip. And Kyle tells us, you know, although I love a good tea honey, I'm glad Natalia and Tumi, and I'm glad that Natalia and Tumi made up about the text message, I'm just not happy with Natalia in filming Sandy and using my name like that. Like me revealing Tumi's message Natalia was an active friendship

and not for Natalia to weaponize against me against other people. And there's only room for one gossip on the bit right now and that's me. I am the T Queen, so proclaimed. Um... Kyle trying to make himself a victim in all this is ridiculous. No one, like, he didn't even get shit. He should have gotten shit. He did not even get shit for the fact,

all the shit that he started. And yet he's still acting, he's still playing the victim card as if he did get all that shit. Weaponizing somebody against you, you know, you are being weaponized against me by this network. And I wanna know what this network is, when I've ever done to this network, okay?

I love this network. Why are you assaulting me with Kyle? Why? He's very toxic. So now we see Max is lying around. This is like an ongoing thing with him. And everyone else is cleaning. And then Max has like a, he then starts cleaning out

like a hot tub. And then he has the bucket he then starts like cleaning out like a hot tub, and then he has the bucket that all the, the gunk got into and he's gonna pour it over the side of the boat, but Luke is like, no, don't do that because it's gonna splash on the side of the boat and we have to clean it. And I say, bro, I don't put this on the boat, I'm not stupid, I'm washing the boat.

I put it on the deck just like this, I pour it on the deck, they're like, no, Max, no, don't pour it on the deck. I put it on my head, no, Max, no, don't put it in there, they put it on the dick, they're like no Max, no don't pour it on the dick, I put it on my head, no Max, no don't put it in the air, just put it in the toilet, I put it on Captain Sandy. I'm only pour it over the side after they just told them not to do it. He put it over the side. What the hell with this guy?

And he's like, oh I just don't see both, I put it on the both. And Laura's just like, what the hell with this guy? The bossin just tells them not to do it. This fucking guy is a bit of a jack off. So Max is like, I said, only one minute is finished. She's finished out to eat. And looks like, no, that's not what you do.

I was like, oh, I'm a guppy. Too late. Too late for a guppy. Time for a preference sheet meeting. Hey everyone, okay, we got all the team we got all the, the team leaders here. So, okay, this is something I know all the viewers are gonna get excited about. Does anyone know the name? Roy Orbison, I'm like, oh no, not Roy Orbison.

There's this fucking guy. Yeah, I'm, oh my god. You know, this guy goes on to like every Bravo Liberty post on Instagram and just post like stars. Happy face. Like this like fishing for followers on every single Bravo post. Like congratulations, your dad was rich. Please leave. Leave me alone.

He literally looks like a Swarrow cactus wearing the tails in the Cryptair. He looks like he's part of that pirate show. What's the gay pirate show that's supposed to be really good? I just saw an ad for it the other day and I was like, that actually does look good. Actually, that was making me like him. No, that's not, I don't think that's a gay pirate show. I don't know, I thought there was a pirate ship on it.

So that was the close, I didn't even know there was a gay pirate show. That's exciting. You didn't? know there was a gay pirate show. That's exciting. You didn't? It's on HBO Max. Hold on, now I have to look at our flag means death. Is what it's called. Oh, I've heard of that show.

I didn't know it was about gay pirates. I mean, that's what I've heard. I haven't watched it yet, but it's, yeah, it's like hot pink. The logo is like hot pink and in pirate font. Our flag means death. Oh, exciting. Hot. Hot. Okay.

So anyway, he looks like a cast member of that, which makes me actually really like him, and I'm confusing myself. So let's just move on. So, uh, you're standing like, have you had anyone here heard of Roy Orbison? By the way, no, nobody has. Because she's like pretty woman and Jack is, is it him? No, it's not him. She's a Christ.

We get where so we're getting a hologram of Roy Orbison that we're just going to project and just aim at a different parts of the yacht and occasionally we'll just we're going to have Kyle stand behind the corner and pretend to bark at orders like Roy Orbison. Tell me this much. How did he get along with MJ? Did he like Waco Jacko? That's what they call me. Pretty woman walking down the street. Anyone? Anyone anybody heard that song? No. Okay. So then we see clips of this guy being like a total jackass and his friends hating his guts on his previous jobs. So funny.

Do you mean jackass like jackass forever, which gets like so much screen time on this episode that I was convinced that it must be coming out on peacock, but I think it came out like a year ago on Paramount. So I don't even understand the cross promotion here, but she says, so there are going to Roy is going to be on with his wife, Asa or Asa or some sort of Scandinavian thing in their sons and a new baby. And there's also Aaron aka danger because you know when you see someone in Aaron you think danger. And he's best known as one of the crew members of the show Jackass.

So if you want to hear about Exploding testicles get ready. He's coming on board to tell you about it. Wow. So a guy from Jackass Thursday ass Roy Orbison's son. No Roy Orbison's Thursday ass son. I guess I should be phrased that and a high chair and a bassinet and vegetarian Good times. Good luck. Everybody. Jack is like, oh, I love the short jacuz. It's like a bit weird,

seeing Eddens face when we are, when I love done growing up is seeing his balls get stabled on TV. Like, please tell me you're not incorporating Ed into any of your cooking. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Oh, so Jess is still in bed and she's a mess because she's drunk. And so Jack and Tumi are talking and Jack's like, well, we're going to have a better

time today aren't we? And she's like, I didn't even know how you worked last time, so yes, it'll be better. And she's like, yeah, we didn't know each other very good. But now we do, don't we? And we have we've been to Holland Bach. The more we talk to each other, the better, Tomah. And she's like, well, I'm not, I'm not new me. I'm too me.

Still not, still don't have, still don't have a way around that one. So too mean just happy. Happy that that Jack's giving her a chance. Because it's the conversation that she's wanted. She wants it before, but she didn't get it. So then Luca, Luca meanwhile decides that he wants to appoint Lara as his lead deck hand. This is that thing that Blow Deck does where we're supposed to care about like a ceremonial

title being bestowed upon a deckie that really has no official basis for anything. It just means that someone can yell at someone a little bit more and be justified in it, but basically is no different than what they were before. So we have to go through the whole who's going to be Lee Decan and in this case, Luca wants to make Lara a lead deck and because she seems actually like a very kick ass decky. Yeah. a lead deck hand because she seems actually like a very kickass decky. Yeah. So then Talia makes, I'm sorry, Natalia is made the kid coordinator because she used to do that on other yachts and to me it's like okay great, go for it. I've never had anybody beg me to babysit but go for it. So she's like I just want to maintain the peace

and the love. Yeah. Kids are my thing. I miss my niece so much. I can't wait to hold a baby Unfortunately, I haven't held one in several years ever since I kicked a Bunsen burner a little infant so then So then Jessica goes to the cap the captain and I said how are you doing Jessica? She think I feel like shit. Oh gosh, were you vomiting? Yeah, for sure. But my throat is so sore, I need to see a doctor.

Oh my gosh, you're vomiting again, I wanna see. You want me? I just take a step back. Let me take a step back, a little close to your germs right now. Okay, now you can vomit. Unless you need a hug, do me a hug. I will give vomit a round to give you a hug. Have you tried mapping? Have you tried hugging yourself? I you're taking a nap So listen, there's no doctor today doctors don't work in Italy on Sundays or Mondays or Tuesdays or Wednesdays or Thursdays or Fridays

So if you feel like you need to go to the emergency room They don't have those here either, but there is a really good pizza ria in town. I give you directions to that, you want to go there, that's also where the doctor works. It'll work out. No doctor's on Sunday. So what we're going to do instead is we're going to arrange a visit for you with Pente pasta. Okay. Okay.

Hey, no doctors are working in a late today, but we did get you a factory tour of Mama's Les Pizza. So that should make you feel better, huh? So she is sent away in a car service, and Kyle's like, oh, here we all, it's just all this raw three-pad with coins. Yeah, and now it's time for provisions. So the provisions are coming in. Yeah, and now it's time for provisions. So the provisions are coming in.

And so while provisions are coming in, Max is on the passor-rail, which is the little platform that you walk on to get from the dock onto the boat. And he's doing pull-ups or something or on lips on a railing. And Lucas, I don't do that because if you bend the railing, we're not going to be able to fix it. I'm just like, I cannot stand people like Max, who are like constantly doing, like they're always doing weird activity on the side

because they can't just stand still. And like I don't mind if people don't like just being still, but I don't like when people then, the way they handle it is by doing strange pull-ups and push-ups in random corners of the space. You just pissed off a lot of HD, 80 HD people, Ben, and they are all about to write you a letter. Wait, they forgot. So you're, you're like, you're safe.

Just kidding, everybody. Just kidding, but honestly, like, don't do that shit around me. I don't need you, why do you have to do a pull-up off of every single random surface? Because people do that all the time. They find there's some protrusion from the wall, and next you know they're trying to do some weird tricep thing. Oh my god, look at me, I woke up. I can't stand it.

I can't stand ADHD. Like an ADHD, not ADHD, but I can't stand it. I can't stand ADHD, not ADHD, but I can't stand someone who, I'm admit, it sounds like I was about to go in on ADHD people. I can't stand restless micro-workheads. I'm not talking about that. That's something that needs to be done. Restless legs syndrome. Let me tell you something.

Okay. So Luca goes to the captain and he's like, I'm giving Laura the lead. She's just, whoa, what good news? Huh? Wow, look at that. Lucas thinking as a leader. I love that he's got that mentality. Wow, she's going to do great. Okay, go ahead, do it. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. So he calls Luca, I mean, he calls Laura to the Sunday. And she's like, I mean, he calls Laura to the sun deck. And she's like, am I in trouble? And he's like, I think so.

Just kidding, you've been smashing it. So you're becoming the lead deck hand. Now please tell Max off for me. I don't want him to strangle me in my sleep. And she's like, you're joking, no, you serious? Oh, whoa, I'm really taking it back. That's always been my dream. I even have a go-board on it says I want to be lead deckhand and I also want to do nasty nasty things in Natalia

It's too out of one out of two isn't bad. You know, I've lived a very rocky life. I'm a fucking crazy horse But some something kicked in me as soon as I started yawning and I can't believe my dreams are literally coming true And so now it's announced that announced at a little meeting before the um, the charter starts or whatever. And everyone claps for it. Laura, which is nice. And um, then... Hey, hey Lara, but you know, now that you're nearly deck-handed and we're all proud of you, one question. Do you wanna vomit?

Have you been vomiting? No, okay. Okay, Lara, what is the one thing that we see on this boat blank matte drugs? Oh Hugs it's hugs hugs good job. You're lead that you're double lead that can't good job Also when this is announced and everyone's like, oh, congratulations, of course Kyle is one of those, what? Congratulations. Well, this is it, honey.

He always has, like, he's that person who always has to have the loudest congratulations in those moments. Sort of like a, hey, look, I'm giving it like, like note me supporting you right now. Like, there's just something very ostentatious about everything he does. That's about your Kyle. So they see the gas coming up the dock

and it's Roy Orbison Jr. He's like, you know what? I don't have any music, but I can hear it in my head. Okay. So they see the kids and they're so cute, the kids. And they're tall. He's like oh my gold on Literally warning a baby right now Yeah, well, I think of anything worse

Or I was like disgusting Absolutely disgusting you want the baby here's Max So there's the boat tour and everything the The kids are jumping on the beds and everything. And Laura tells Max to do something. Max is like, when Laura is pimentedly dead hand, I'm like fucking like crisp, like, like, what you go, is like, how are you going to let it this happen?

Like I'm scared. Like we're just going to create the fengke stand, you know, and like she's going to be monster. And like, oh, like power and I just hope she's like a good person inside like what's it? You expect he's basically implying that it should be him like that he somehow deserves it like there's no reason why like Laura's been a kick-ass techie one of the best we've seen and he is like, oh no like Hope she's not a monster. I was like, you've shown us asshole.

So then the kids come to the bridge and they hug Captain Sandy. And she's like, oh gosh, we just got the pilot on board. Hold on, wait, you can hear it. It sounds like Mario jumping on a square with a question mark in the middle. Hold on.

Hello, Caphan. Ho ho. Told ya. It's a beer pilot Hold on okay everyone watch your feet the pilot is driving his cart down the deck Okay, oh can someone clean up that banana peel it's gonna give a real problem to that pilot oh God just got oil squirted on my face. Oh, I can't see we're gonna crash them. What? I can see it again. D-d-d-d-d-d. Oh my God, I thought it was a sunny day. But look, suddenly there's a ring cloud. Oh my God, we're so small. This is disaster. We have to fix this right away. Oh good. We're normal

size again. How come sometimes that cloud is so nice to me and other times it's throwing turtle shells on my head? You know, someone's you need to speak to that cloud. We actually wanted to put the jet skis in the water and it keeps fishing them out and put them back on the head. You know, someone's you need to speak to that cloud. We actually wanted to put the jet skis in the water and it keeps fishing them out and putting them back on the boat. So then, wow, that cloud is like basically put here for Captain Jason, am I right? So then, Luka is talking to Max and he's like, okay, we're doing the lines one at a time and I just keep waiting, I just feel like they keep setting Max up to crash the boat, but it's fine, everything works out fine.

Yes. For now. Mm-hmm. So then Natalia takes the kids and she's calling Kyle to play hide and seek with the kids. And Kyle's like, oh, he saw you. And it's always like, oh my God, I'm so glad you're here because our next game is a role play, okay?

I'm gonna ask Koryl what kind of relationship he wants, Koryl. I don't know the answer to that. Close, he wants a closed relationship. All right, kids. So, to me, thanks Natalia for watching the kids. And to me, it's uh, you know what, I have so thankful because it was my first job I had in the States. Uh, these kids, I was in a pair, and these kids locked me in the garage, threw an iPad at

my face while I was driving, and they were screaming at me and telling me to go back to Africa! And I was like, uh, oh my, this sounds not right. And then she goes, but it was an African American house. And I told them, please take the African, out of African American, because this is not how we act. This is why when I see other people's kids, I'm like, don't you, duh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm like, uh, uh, to me. To me is like traumatized. I'm like, this feels, I'm just gonna step back quite, like I'm just gonna go back to making fun of Max and his ways. This is crazy. Well, it also, I mean, she's gone through a lot. It can also explain how she can deal with Natalya so easily, you know, because I would have tried a long time ago, but she's like, no, let me tell you this other story about getting an iPad to the face.

Okay. There's a little fun though. So now they're dropping the anchor and Luca is like, after the map, whatever, someone's good. Max is going to have to do jet skis. What the fuck? And she goes, and the slide, and he goes, oh, and the slide.

Yes, Max. It's called being your fucking job, dude. Yeah. So then he's like, there's like some's called being your fucking job dude. Yeah, so then he's like, there's like some core, some core just dangling, so Max just hanging from it. He's like stretching or something like that and look at what are you doing bro, don't do that. He's literally like a child, you know,

like a child you have to constantly, you know, scold, or not scold, but like the kid who's just always up to something, you know, like get this work gun out, you know. So then now Lucas having Max and play the slide like you're saying, he's like, oh, by myself, I see you're working too much. And look, I was like, stop talking, just please stop talking, just work, just work. So now the anchor is dropping and Max is doing handstands and wooing and hanging from the left and You know doing his Max thing and he's like I could never hold a job when I was young

They're because they were no one to tell me yeah do this do that because my parents have been like take care of yourself Don't bring the cops so there was no limit I have to wait for society to tell me okay too much. I was like that's called prison That's called the person tell me, okay, too much. I was like, that's called prison. That's called the prison. You're going to fall off there and kick somebody in the head and be taken away. Okay.

I've seen this documentary before on the Detective I.B. channel. What part of being fired from like five jobs is society not telling you what to do. Like that is society saying, this is, this doesn't work. You are fired. That is the limit. Don't act like you're not receiving the feedback. You have received very solid feedback. Also hilarious that he was saying

how his parents as a child, his parents were like, listen, do whatever you want, just don't get involved with the cops. Like don't break the law. And as he's saying this, like don't break the law, the showing photos of him when he's like four years old. I'm just gonna imagine me, like this, like four year old, like about to become a felon, but like four years old. I'm just gonna imagine me like this like four year old

Like about to become a fella and but like the size maybe I won't be This is this is the picture you show him on like a big wheel Just don't get the cops involved the life of crime don't call the cops So because I have some more ice cream whatever just don't tell the cops So now we go to the water boy, the water boy. It's a long, what's wrong with me? It's a water toy segment. So they're putting it out and looks like, okay,

Haley, you can chill out for a bit. Max's like, okay, bro, I need break, you know? And he goes, yeah, I know when your break is, but we're fucking busy. So listen, Haley's down at the moment. We can't both go. And Laura just says, you can't always get your breaks when you need it, okay Max?

And he's like, yeah, he's like Lucas based, he's like, yeah, you're like, you can't just, there could be some days where you just don't get a break and like you just need to put in the work. But like, you know, like you'll get your breaks where you can and I'm like, like, you send me out. Eh. Also, a small moment that I really enjoyed But you know, like you'll get your breaks where you can and I say like this and Also a small moment that I really enjoyed was Roy Orbison walking to the Jetsky and he like trips and he goes mercy mercy Mercy and I was just like wow. I love trying to follow and your father's rock and roll footsteps by me going mercy mercy mercy

You're so rock and roll. Mercy Mercy me. Right that one down, Asa. She's like, still your father's song stupid. Oh, you like this guy's like, he's got the long hair, his broadened his friend from Jack,

as like, yeah, rock and roll. Mercy Mercy Mercy almost lost my step there. Okay, okay, okay. So work, work, work, decorating, mercy, almost lost my step there. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Um, so work, work, work decorating the table, deflating toys, making some kind of soda for the non-alcoholic drink for the night. So Natalie Natal is asking when Kyle's coming back and he's like, he should be back now. I'll check on him because I think he's sleeping and we think Kyle's going to be late and start fucking up, but now he's fine. He's coming. Well, he still is late, but he doesn't get into trouble for it, but I think they're setting up the fact.

I think they're starting to plant the seeds that Kyle is lazy, which he is, because in the previous for next week, we've already seen the trees. You know what I mean? Missy, missy, missy. So now Sandy comes to the table and she's like, okay, welcome to Sandy's TED Talk. I like to call it a sand talk, but I guess there's rights, et cetera. So hey, person over there who looks about 20 years past his prime, I wanna know what's it like being a stunt person in the movie?

He's like, oh, I prepared a die six months before we film, every film, she's like, oh, I prepared to die six months before we film every film. I'm like, whoa, wow. So have you ever done a cruise with Sam Hussein? I think I've attacked by pilots. By pirates, rather. Not gay ones either. So you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you a movie, you start preparing that you might die. Oh, I just got a text message. It's from Norma, and Norma says, that's funny. That's the sort of preparation I tell any crew member when they go on to your boat. Huh. Don't think I appreciate that much,

Norma. Bluup. Wow, Norma. Glad you're prepared to die. You might as well be dead the amount you're working. Bluup. Yeah, well, you know, I've aged about 45 years trying to find someone semi-competent that you won't fire right away for your stupid boat. Plop. Plop. Love you, love to keep talking, but I'm having dinner with Roy Orbison's loser son, who keeps trying to make random phrases into the new pretty woman, and some watchtap stunt man, cataclet.

Love ya. That's okay. I have a romantic date with Cristiana Ronaldo tonight, so suck on that Sandy. Bloops. Hey, how about you get a date with Cristiana, do your job. Okay, that would be fine. Gotta go. Bloop.

Bloop. Hey, I'm putting in the penalty box for that, but you're too dumb to even know how to get into the stadium. Bloop, not my best work, Bloop. I'm not answering that, I'm busy. Okay, so Jack's like for dinner, the guest of requested five star diamonds for kids. I don't know how I'm supposed to attack that. I got so scared, I just went, whew, whew, how was up with that? I'm a zombie now. I don't remember any happy meal with octopus in it, or a dinosaur-shaped

foie gras. No, I'm just gonna make noodles or something fancy for the parents. Now I would love to take Jack seriously. I think Jack seems like such a nice person and I don't think anybody said his food is gross except for the vegan which you know okay but I will say he's burning the fuck out of those scallops. Did you see those things? What are you trying to I did not I did not because I was trying to imagine dinosaur dinosaur shaped vlog raw and I'm kind of into it. No I've had a dinosaur shaped vlog raw. Have you ever seen vlog rye and slacks? shape. Flaw. If you ever seen Flaw grind slacks. I'd never seen Flaw. Gra with with a short pants. I was jealous of. Oh God. You know, I remember going to Palm Springs and watching some some Flaw. Gra up there on the golf course. Did some great work that time of short fly grad.

Gravel. Gravel Dana. Gravel. So those scallops look like pencily racers in a fire. That's what they look like. Shame on you. Work on us. Okay, so let's see. Kyle and Natalia are cleaning and Natalia is talking about how there are, you know, we're down a person, but you'd never know it because we're a bit of a dream team. And then Jack is plating a pretty big non-five star looking plate. God, I hate criticizing Jack as he seems so nice, but what if we are we at the suit plantation? What is this the golden corral? Did they play this? What was it that he was making cuz I honestly was not paying attention to his food at this point? I really don't remember it. He made a homemade truffle, no key and

Okay, then he put wagyu beef for the beef eaters on top of it. We we just got I don't know did you see this thing? We got the so we get lots of press releases here at Watcher Crappens and we got the strangest press release, like over the weekend. And the press release was, new data shows the POSSA names you've been saying wrong. And number one, because I guess world, oh, cause world pasta day is coming up on Wednesday, everyone. October 25th, whoo, wow. So let me tell you something, the number one,

the number one mispronounced pasta name is Niochi with a huge 153,000 people searching for pronunciation guidance on Google each year. Now, of course, this doesn't actually say how to properly pronounce Niyoki. It does. It says Niyoki. You see, there's like a chart with the pronunciations down there. Oh, oh, this is amazing. This chart is the best thing I've ever seen.

This is kind of amazing. Niyoki. Who the hell is sending us? This is the best thing I've ever seen. This is kind of amazing. I'm yucky. Who the hell is sending us? This is the best thing I've ever seen. This is why PR works. Okay, Miyaki, which translates, by the way, to a knot in wood. Also known as Norma's Vag.

Also. Or if we're talking about Norma, I'm not in could. Okay. I'm not in, would not want to touch that. But here's where they lose me because the rest of the list is pure shit. Spaghetti is it says pronunciation spaghetti. Yeah. Who's pronouncing spaghetti wrong?

Jada DeLarentis. She's like Spaghetti. This is just this is an anti-jada. Yeah, I do is pronouncing spaghetti wrong. Jada DeLarentus. She's like, Spaghetti. This is just, this is an anti-jada. This is Jada's old assistant who is like, I'm making it pressureless because fuck her. So Penny, I say Penny, but this says, Penna.

And Vermicelli is Vermicelli. You guys, everybody pronounciates these for it. Tagliatelli is Tagliatelli. What? No. Tagliatella. Actually, there you go. Okay, how about this, Pappadale?

Okay, this is actually good when people say this in two different ways. Pappadale versus Pappadale. And it is Pappadale. Pappadale. Pappadale, Batch. Pappadale. What do you call it when you're having sex with daddy

and waiting for him to come? Papa delayed batch. This is a good one at number seven. I would say that this would be number, at least number two, about spaghetti. Lasagna, which means cooking pot, which is weird. This says lasagna.

You guys, I think we're trying to put too much of a positive spin on pasta these days. What do you call a, okay, what do you call an anchor lady who's happy? Paulazani. Oh, here's one for Fahla. So I always say for Fahla, but it's for Fahla. I say for Fahla. So you just have to, is this, wait, is this just the West Hollywood version of saying

pasta? It's like some gay sh**. F saying pasta? This is just some gay shit. Parfale! This is just some gay shit. They're like, oh my god, it's a zongay! Parfale, uh, far-fall-lay! I'm getting far-fall-layed tonight, bitch. Wait, number nine I actually often never know how to say.

This is, I always say orakiete. So it's at little years. It's my favorite pasta. It says orakiete. Orakiete. Orakiete. Orakiete. Oh, I'm so orakiete. Orakiete. It's my favorite pasta. It says oh Orek Kiette oh, I'm sorry. I don't believe that. I don't believe it. Okay. Let's go back to the recap. Great work Thank you for sending us this press release to support. I don't know what it's even promoting but it's literally the first press release

I've read months so the good job good job So the good job. Good job. Good job. Preply. I'll have my soul give them the shout out. Preply. Whatever you're doing. Okay, so the guests are eating with Captain Sandy and she's right past her, you know, being on the boat with the Saddam Hussein as space ships. We're trying to take them up with a space and the captain was holding them down with one rope saying, No, you will not take my boat. in the captain was holding him down with one rope saying, no, you will not take my boy. There are a few less. You shall not pass.

And then out right behind them, the tender is being brought or the jess skis are being brought up and it's making all these noise. And it's really windy out there. So the boats, the, the toy is being blown around. And the captain's like, oh no! Don't, don't, don't, don't. But at the same time, she's trying to be cool at first, so the kid's telling a joke, and the kid's like, knock, knock, and she's like, who's there?

Atchoo! Uh-oh, hold on, let me take a step back, don't want to infect the crew. Okay, so you're a joke. Okay, who's there? Could keep going kid. Who's there? Hachu! Oh, I see. Okay. A chuhu. And then the kid goes, A chuchu train. And she goes, I love that. I love that. That was great.

You've got to bat as much chance as a comic as your father has at being the next warrior orbison senior, am I right? Okay, that was fun. Hey, could someone ask the chef to bring up a nice heaping of talent? That's necessary here, it's needed. Oh, mercy, mercy, mercy. If I have to listen anymore of those jokes, no offense kid. So, um, Sandy's like, hey, tool me, to me, toomster, get over here. Okay, hey, tell the chef, the flavors were incredible. Thanks so much. Okay, go ahead now. Okay, good job.

So she does, she goes to the chef. She's like, double high five from all right. So he's excited. And he's like, I've been quite nasty to me because of what Natalya told me and the things that have gone on but I think we make a good team not that I think Zomophard So now the deck is now the deck crew is gone from bring up jet skis now to bring you the tender This tender's like swinging all around. It's so wavy so windy Everything's like there's there's hooks going down a hook almost like crashes into a guest who's watching.

And it's like a lot of drama and the tenders swiveling around and Max is in the way and Laura is basically saying, like, whoa, that tenders big and if it hits you, you die. It's like the standard like deck hand drama thing would be like, if no one shammy is that railing, you die. Like you could die, we all die if no one shammy is that railing, you die. Like, you could die. We all die. If no one shammy is that railing. And the captain tells him, she's like, Luca, you gotta be careful. You can't do that while the guests are trying to eat.

And he's like, sorry. She's like, yeah, that's where the chief officer comes in. Just not thinking about the guest experience. Now, I'm gonna go back up there and finish my, Osama bin Laden cruise musical that I was in the middle of, uh, talking about. Hey, Luca, he knocked. Who's there? A chew. A chew, who? A chew, chew, chew, not you says everyone to norm us. Sarah is so good. I've says my adaptation of the joke. So later to me is offering the guys drinks inside.

They've moved the inside and she's like, you know, these guests, I'm really surprised. They're just not demanding at all. You know, I want them to be more demanding. It's a guy from Chakras. Where's the chaos? Where's my chaos? So one of them's like, I'll take a virgin pinocalata and kind of say,

oh, we're gonna make that with all natural ingredients. We went and got the coconut all the way from shore and everything. They're like, no you didn't. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I've had and I'll just kneel down if you want to throw it at me. I just really I need the rush of terrible guests right now She's like I love chaos just like my mean I lock them to be chaotic. That's why I go for the length wins. I'm trying to fix him. I'm chaotic I was like well Max is down there doing a pull up of fucking Jeske So found one found your one explains why she was the only one who is nice to Ryan or who seemed to care about Ryan on Down under so now the Luca meets with Max and

Tells him to start at 8 a.m. And Max like this is my deal. I give you efficiency I've finished the things and yeah, I could be else time by and like relax a bit more But because if something happens like more I'm ready, but like daddy is ready, you know But if I'm tired I want more bakes because if something happens, like, more I'm ready, but like, daddy is ready, you know, but if I'm diar, I want more bakes because I'm looking more ever. So then Luke and Italian, he's shirtless and she's like, let me tell you something, Nepal, and he's like, no, sneaking in after the shower. And then she gets a call. Is it a caller text or something?

And she's like, hi, bad. Is it from Matt Alvarez? It's a bad... J Alvarez. J Alvarez. Matt. Matt's J Alvarez is a glee brother. It's like high bat.

I thought you weren't bad. Where are a bunch of people? Are they girls there? They're girls or are here girls there? What are they? Five girls? Don't even worry about calling me back, babe. Yesterday, my boyfriend said to me, I don't want to influence your night off. Do what you need to do.

I would just hope that it doesn't hurt me. You really need to, you really need to be the word to me. So what the fuck? His text in me, like I love you, but probably dipping the doodle with the frickin' 5 bitches at once. It's like he's at 5 guys getting big as except it's 5 girls getting beauty. So then the next day, let's see, Luca is frustrated with Max because Laura told him to get up

or someone told him yesterday to get his ass to work at eight, Luca did. Yeah, Luca did. And then he, it's 830. And he's like, what the hell? I gave this guy plenty of sleep and I don't want to go off. But when I get mad, he's one of those is like, I don't get mad often, but when I get mad, watch out!

I don't believe you. Yeah, do you? When I get mad, watch out, because I smile really big. Yeah. So I really pierce your soul with my smile. Watch out, because this monarch butterfly chest is gonna come out, yeah. So Max doesn't get to deck until 8.45.

He's 45 minutes late, that's terrible. And he's just a fucker. So, and then once he gets there, he's goofing off. I think he's like humming hips to my hips to the lie. Not mean hips to the lie, not my hips, but hips to the lie. Like you're humming Shakira in the corner and not doing your work, you're totally worthless.

And then we hear from Jess that she's okay. So she'll be back for the next chart or in case anyone was concerned about her sore throat slash hangover. So then Lauren Maxeron deck and she's like, oh, I'll make a bow in there. And he goes, I know, I know, I hope it's okay, okay. And she's like, well, me too, brother, like if it's not, it's on you, Dan. And she's, he won't listen to anything, I know, I know, I hope it's okay, okay? And she's like, well, me too, brother, like if it's not, it's on you, Dan. And he won't listen to anything, you know?

And you can't really trust that Max knows what he's doing because he hasn't fucked up that majorly yet, but just his whole attitude is that of somebody who does not know what they're doing, right? Yeah, he's like, he's like, Lara, I'm new. So if you have something to tell me for the first time Like you speak it nicely with a violin like you don't play fire speaking with dynamite because if it explodes it's dangerous So he's doing the whole thing of like like oh you have to be nice to me when you give me orders

I hate this this whole bullshit thing like no one ever told me what the limits are no one told me what the right thing is Oh my god like I would work better, but you're so mean to me when you make orders. Okay, shut up. Yeah, truly. So Laura's like, okay, you would need to... I don't know, I don't care about this. I'm gonna skip forward is that, okay?

Okay, so Max Laura, Max sells Laura. So I'm gonna use the y'all thing you got. She's like three and a half, why? And now she's getting pissed at him. She's like three and a half why and now she's getting pissed at him so don't ask me how much experience I have you say you shit you know shit but you don't and he's like okay okay come on bro it was okay last time my rope was okay why are you telling me and she's like no wasn't the communication was wrong last time he's like talking communication was wrong Z sign, because you're the communicator.

So, and he's like, is he okay, gosh. And Lara's like, Lara's like mortified that this is happening from the captain, and she's still going. She's like, you ought to do it sting quite frankly. And so then Luca is telling Lara to haul on the anchor, because by the way, in the middle of this, Sandy has gone up to Lukas and, hey, Luca, you wanna take the boat out of Anchorage? You wanna sit on Mommy's lap and we'll drive the car? I know you're only four, but we can pretend you're 16. It'll be fun. Come on.

So they started to make the anchor and Max is like, who are braw, just what the fuck? I want to tell you I can already do these things, braw and you are looking after my knots. And she's like, I don't give a shit, braw. Let what the fuck, I want to tell you I can already do these things bra and you are looking after my knots. And she's like, I don't give a shit braw, let's just do anchoring. So she's like, wow, see how the swell is lifting us? Wow, you know, that's what I need you guys to do with each other.

I need you to be like the ocean, lift each other up, okay? Ha ha ha. Unless you're normal, nothing can really lift her up. So Laura's like, I'm just going to make sure you know what you're doing, okay? And Max is like, she's moving the boat and she's like, what side? What side?

Cause at this point now Max is like lying down as head is through a hole where he's mostly looking out at the side of the boat. He's supposed to be doing something and he's not being clear. It's not really clear what he's doing. I personally am still waiting for that rope that he tied earlier to like snap and cause chaos but it has not snapped. And now his head is

sticking out, so I'm like, okay, he's going to get his head lopped off by some passing thing. I don't know. It feels like something's about to go wrong, but I can't really quite tell what's going to go wrong. Well, he's going, she's moving, she's moving. And the captain's like, what are they saying? Are they arguing? And Luke's like, can you relay what he's saying? And not a large, just cause communication sucks. Guys communication used to be clear. It's a safety issue. Stop arguing. And that was actually the end of the episode. That was it. Stop arguing. Stop, drop, collaborate, and listen. Keep everybody. Thank you so much for being here. Another unhinged episode of VeloDec. We

will be back next week with this and this week with a ton of new stuff, the new winter house with VeloDec cast members, premieres this week week so be back for that we're gonna cover the first one we will talk to you next time bye everyone watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni she don't take no below me strong the park with Caitlin Clark she's not just a Sheila she's a Daniella itchels Aaron McNeilis she don's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-O-L. Aaron McNickalus, she don't miss No Trick-O-Lus. She's never scary, it's the Green Fairy. Jamie, she has no last name-y.

Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a Kisarino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger.

Ruloroo. The Bay Area Betches. Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily

signs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Juni, my favorite Murto, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Podd Chadly. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang! The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Nancy C. C. C. C. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemgee. Shannon, out of a cannon Anthony.

Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She's quite the catch, it's Victoria Couchett. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.