Watch What Crappens - #2209 RHOSLC Part 1: The Mother Of All Dramas

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

The melodrama comes fast and hard on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S04E08) as Monica and her mother hash out their generational trauma over lobster enchiladas. It’s so riveting we almost forget Mary Cosby calling Whitney a bobblehead and Meredith crying over her brush with death. Another amazing episode.  This is part 1 of a 2 part episode!Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about on Ben Mandelker and joining me today. It's the wonderful Ronnie Carrom. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, Beneans. How are you? I'm great. My body is coursing with adrenaline still after watching Salt Lake City because I just cannot believe this show.

I cannot believe what we watch. And then we get to recap it for our job. Like it, I was like my heart was racing. It was so good. So, you can't be. You really were. You were, I was texting, I was texting during the while we were taking over

to texting. Did I overhype it for you a little bit because I was losing my mind watching it. No. No, you didn't overhypepe at all. You were texting me things like, oh my god, this one's seen. Well, first you were like, what the heck? I didn't. And then you're like, oh my god, this one's seen. I'm out of breath. Which is so funny. I love when you get like that because I make fun of people when they do that, but I fully do it myself. You make fun of our friends who are like the instigays,

who are like, oh my God, iconic lady God, that just worked cotton downtown. Oh my God, this is my brin. Okay, so while the instigays are like, oh my God, brin, iconic, I'm like Linda and Monica fighting. I'm like, oh my God, this is me. I was texting you, I was texting Danny Pelicino. I was like, oh my god, Danny, have you watched it yet?

Oh, just bothering everyone. Well, no, it wasn't bother. I was watching it too, but you know, it's funny how different people take things because anyone who has any mommy issues or shit like this from growing up, I'm like, you're like, this is amazing. And I'm like, back on my end,

you know, just rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Like, oh my God. Yeah, I do come from like non-moment trauma. It's a cycle up up you some telling dealer and look how beautiful it's reigning. It's a cycle. Fuelers like, get over it.

Get over it already. Yeah, I guess I'm like the murder of Mars in this situation and you're like the Heather and Monica and Whitney. And actually in the spirit of that, you know, because obviously as people know, listen to this podcast, this is not just audio. We have a video, it's also on video, you can go to patreon.com slash watch or crap and support us at the crap sent a man level. You get early access to our videos. And in honor of this episode, I have decided to create my make my video location a dingy parking lot with dirty snow in honor of a central scene of this episode because of course this is the only show where we take forecast members and literally put them into a wet parking lot with brown snow behind them. For whole scene. I was thinking this, I was like, what is going on in this show?

They're not at a spa, they're not at a restaurant, they're just sitting in chairs. This is actually worse, like production-wise, worse than when the real housewives of New Jersey did a cast trip and did a whole scene in a parking lot in California Because this parking lot had jerky snow in it didn't even have a view of the Pacific Well this show the most iconic scene was when Jen Shaw was getting rested and it was in a parking lot I mean granted they were in a you know sprint your sprinter van to parking lot this show is is no stranger to whipping out those folding chairs Okay, we've seen it many a time on this show. Some of the best fights have been like, let's sit in the snow and fight about it.

This was just, I like this episode. I just am always amazed. This season, there's a reason why it's ratings are better than it's ever been, because it's just everything about it is so silly. We're obviously going to dive right into that whole scene with Linda and Monica, because to me, the entire scene felt like a one act play. Like I felt like it had a whole arc.

It starts with Linda crying. They have a whole thing, there's revelations, there's stories. It starts in one place, it goes to another place, has A, B and C, act one, act two, and act three of this scene. There's barely even any interviews, because it just holds on its own. I was like, this is some of the best TV I've ever seen. I got it!

I got it! Hey, but real quickly everyone, if you're wondering where the below deck med recap is this week, it's not, it's not happening. Oh, wait, no, actually it is happening. It is happening, it's happening right now. Natalia arranged a pirate scavenger hunt for children, for children, for children. It was a whole episode about babysitting children, and you know what, not only children,

highly uninteresting children. Can I just say that? I know we're not supposed to pick on children on this show, but what, not only children, highly uninteresting children. Can I just say that? I know we're not supposed to pick on children on this show, but I think that these children, if these children are already on podcasts, Apple podcasts, get them the fuck off and raise them better because they shouldn't be there. Just little blonde boring children. Did those children do one interesting thing? Get better children. Can I just say that? You know, we're gonna have a lot to say about mothering later, about childing, like what it's like to be a good child,

what it's like to be a good mother. We don't know all the, do we have all the answers? No, this doesn't come with a rule book, but here's what I will say. Neither Linda may be a bad mother, Monica may be a bad child. Neither one of those two is a non-interesting mother or an uninteresting child. And I think is a non-interesting mother or an un-interesting child. And I think that being non-interesting is much worse. So, Shambha, Nubola, Dek, the children

are not the reason we're skipping it, but it's the reason we're proud to. Yes. It was that made their choice much easier. I think the only other thing that happened is that Luca and Natalia made out, like, which matters to anyone. They told you isn't in open relationship. Oh my God, I can't believe I'm in an open relationship. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?

Um, I think the only thing I can really remember that was amusing to me was how Natalia talked Kyle's ear off till 3.30 in the morning in their room on a work night because she just kept on talking and talking and talking and finally Kyle was like, Natalia, please stop. Yep. Yep. And we're actually not recording it. Not recording. We're actually not skipping it because of hate or anything like that.

We love it. It's just a crazy, busy, bravo week. There's a ton on. And speaking of that, New Shows, Beverly Hills is out. So then Charm is not new, but what else came out of that? Miami. Miami premier is happening on Wednesday. So a lot to talk about and the very last thing before we dive into this is thank you to everyone

who showed up to Crapiair on Monday. It was really, really fun. If you missed it, you can, the audio of it is here on our podcast feed, but there's actually more extended content if you go to our IG because you can see us talking with people on the feed. So go check it out. We talk about the Vanity Fair article.

Let me talk about like other gossip, like New Jersey and stuff. So that's every other week, every other Monday. So definitely come join us because we have a lot of fun doing it. And we love talking with you all. And it's a blast. So anyway, there's so much to talk about, but let's talk about Salt Lake City because this is, I'm gonna burst from the scenes

if we don't start talking about it soon. Let's deal it. So we open with the classic. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So then we're at Golden Skie. Golden Skie something. A Golden Retriever on the slopes. Oh, I was like, a golden is skiing. I was like, please, I'm skiing.

Hold space for Ronnie to get upset about this golden retriever on the slope. Because you know that golden retriever is looking for a tennis ball somewhere. The Golden Retriever did not have a ball. And you know how cold it is to take a dog where everything's covered, he can't find his ball. That's not fair to a golden retriever, okay? You can't take a drug addict into a place covered in snow and they can't get it.

You know what I mean? That's what you're doing to that golden retriever, poor thing. Also, please don't ski while you're with your dog because this person was skiing and they were holding their dog on a leash. And you know, it's very dangerous. I don't like when people are doing anything other than walking their dog, don't roller skate

with your dog on a leash, don't be in a truck. You know, if you ever seen a person in a truck and their dog is running beside the truck, I mean, maybe that's a taxi. Don't take a seat. Please don't do that. Don't surf with your dog. Don't surf with your dog. Don't surf with your dog.

People do that. It's weird. Don't be on a train while your dog is running next to the train. That's very bad. Don't take space shuttles with your dog on the leash outside the space shuttle. It's very bad. You can be on the grocery store.

I'm gonna say this, by the way, don't bring your dog into the grocery store. That's also something that people need to stop doing because I don't need your dog hairs in my fresh produce. If your dog is too weak to stay at home while you need to go to the marshals, then your dog is not fit for this life. Okay.

Okay. Let's be honest, okay? Your dog needs to grow up. Okay, your dog does not need to go to every single public space. Neither do your children. Yeah. But especially the dogs. Yeah.

So there's a golden retriever skiing and then there's a duck and then did you notice this duck? I'm also going to duck shame. I didn't know the duck at all. I was actually a duck. I normally notice all the ducks because I love ducks. So I'm shocked I missed the duck. So please tell me all about it.

It's this needy, food addicted duck. And I really understood the duck because I'm like that. And the duck is just like refusing to swim in the pond. It's going right along the edge of the pond. Just waiting for some child with bread, some child or elderly person with some bread crumbs. You know what I thought? Stop begging. Was it a mallard duck?

Would it have like a green head? Or is that one of the white ducks? or elderly person with some breadcrumbs. You know what I thought, stop begging. Was it a mallard duck? Would you have like a green head? Or is that one of the white ducks? I just remember it was so close to the curb the whole time and I'm like, that's the lazyest duck I've ever seen. But that's like the Ronnie duck over there just looking for a slice. You know those mallards,

mallards are the ones with the green heads or those lunes. I think it's mallards with the green heads. They're like the Julia Fox of ducks. They're always like, I'm serving a look. And like, lady, you're in a pond, you know? I'm sorry, it's a leo. She's iconic. So speaking of survival, let's go to Whitney's track house. So Whitney is supporting Red Bull. She's wearing like all black pleather in the kitchen, pouring like a sparkling soda

or red bull or something like that. I'm like, why are you, why are you so dressed? Why are you dressed like this to pour your sparkling beverage? I think she's about to go to exercise class or something, and she's in like those hot cavern from Southern charm pleathers. Yes, hot. I wish I could

dress like that. I looked at man spanks the other day. They're actually somewhat cute. And I'm considering it. Just warning. Why don't you get some skims? You know, they now skims for men with all those hot guys in the in the images, thanks Kim Kardashian. Finally giving us something like skims because I don't approve of that kind of milk. And so I won't wear the product. Even though I know they're different things. Okay, fair.

So Justin walks in. I would wear holes. Someone who is not a part of the marketing campaign for Skims Justin, he enters, he enters with his trademark charismatic personality. Hey, what's going on? I mean, he's like, I just got off the phone with Mary flashback. And now we have a flashback of Mary in her closet

speaking to Whitney on the phone. And she has a hat on. And that has some sort of pink thing around it with all sorts of drawings on it. And her closet is just more cluttered than usual. And you just feel like Mary was in the middle playing dress up when she got like a call from Whitney. But what Mary does that that is exactly what she was doing. And so Whitney's talking to her and she's like, Hey Mary, I would love to have a

chat with you if you would like to. And Mary's like, well, if I don't feel it, I'm not gonna show up then. Okay. Good talk. Great. All right, we'll look for all this. I'll just wait for you. I'll just go to the restaurant and kind of wait.

So can we just point out Justin is one of the, Justin has dimple privilege. He's got these really cute dimples on him. Okay. And if he didn't have those dimples, he would be like Dudley, the dog, what's it? Dudley, do you know, who? What's the name of the dog that the elevator's door, the elevator door is open and he's like, going down, what's the name of that dog?

Going down. I don't know that I don't know. I don't know the name of Justin looks just like him that he has that Dudley. Oh, he has dimples and Dudley. I don't know if someone will tell us the comments. I'm a zander and I really thought Ben was going to know who was like the most depressed dog in the world.

Is it a droopy dog? A droopy dog. Who would look like droopy dog, but he has those dimples. So dimples have sent you, the dimple privilege, also cackling, also I'm not sure that I believe this Whitney Justin having trouble storyline. I think it's Whitney fishing for a storyline.

Here's why, because he's really keeping up his spray tan for Whitney. And I feel like when you're in, you know things are going strong, or at least he's still trying to make you love him when he's getting spray tan for Whitney. And I feel like when you're in a, you know things are going strong, or at least he's still trying to make you love him when he's getting spray tan to this degree. He looks like a cocktail wiener dog. He's so miscolored.

Why do you look like that? I, my struggle with Justin is that he just has, just enough physical features to remind me of Rudy Giuliani that I just, it's like I'm like, I struggle with it, you know? Like, he's got like a, I can touch that. I can touch that Giuliani to him, you know?

I can see that. I would never see that, had you not said it, but I can see it. Both Rudy and Andrew, there's like just, there's just, there's just some Giuliani in there.

So I could see somebody from this show calling to press conference at the four seasons, but they get it wrong and it turns out it's at the four seasons garden and landscaping. That's straight mall. They, except it wouldn't be them getting it wrong because that's literally where productions aside, they want, they're going to shoot. They're like, okay, ladies, we are going to be filming a scene at the four seasons and then Mary shows up in like Fendi Just want to say the Juliani thing was not a political reference

It was just really just referencing someone who I don't think is sexually appetizing So So just also fuck that guy and fuck his politics I bet you and that too Yeah, um, so that is that is political right there. So well, take it. And guess who's not sorry? Me suckers. So Whitney goes, we never got to clear the air. And I thought I was going to get the chance at Greek Easter, but she wasn't there. So I reached out to her and she got to go to dinner and just like what the fuck why do you care about this lady

and Whitney says I just I fully realize that it's completely random that I want to meet up with Mary but production says I have to do it so that's why I'm doing it. I mean it's not she's not really nice to me however it keeps coming up in my meditation and my therapy with my energy Heller and my infinity spirit necklace molding sessions with my yoga Inspirator and my soul cycle cycle cleansing with my pre-afterlife counselor and my stripper power my stripper pole workout class and Instacard and Instacard. And Instacart.

Clearly for me, I need to find some sort of dot dot dot. Whitney, you don't need to say that part. Which part? Clearly? The dot dot dot. Then why did you spell it out? We didn't wait me. It's just three dots. Okay. Clearly for me, I need to find dot, dot, dot, with me.

I need to find dot, dot, dot, resolve so I can move on with Mary and clean my carpets. So Whitney is like speaking of awkward relationships just in segue that says brackets. Have they're invited me to cross country skiing where we're gonna ski across the country maybe for charity I don't I don't get it actually but Meredith is gonna be there I hope you're ready to babysit the kids person with the job because I'm gonna be skiing all the way across the country I don't know when I'm gonna be back. That could take hours. Hey, America's big. I found out I'm skiing across a Toby Keith concert. It's cross country skiing. It starts a Toby Keith and goes through

Riba. It's we sing prayers and go to a country concert. Cross country and go to a country concert, cross country religion. And Justin's like, so how are things with you and you know, well, Bobblehead, the other Bobblehead, the stressed out Bobblehead. And she's like, well, I wouldn't say they're bad, but they're not good. I want to invite her to Bobbie's birthday. I want to include people, even when they're being,

eh, and then we get it, but it's not the evils that's from Bravo. Like, ooh, they really got them. Then Whitney has her own ding-dongs, which is like, it's like a rimshot. And Justin is like, well, you know, I have a conference that I have to go to for work, right? Because when he says the party's going to be on Bobby's birthday and Justin's like, well, you know, I've got a conference I got to go to. So then we get a scheduling and then when he's like, on her birthday, you're not going to be here. And he's like, yeah,

I just said that. That's why we said, remember we planned that we're going to have the party the weekend before. And she's like, no, I said we're gonna do it on her birthday while we're going across the country and skis. I thought we talked about that. I'd need to take a moment and just congratulate this family on their fiber intake. Because when we start the scene, it starts like with a close-up of this gigantic fruit bowl with all these different fruits on it, okay? And while she's doing this part, it has behind her, we see a double-decker,

double-decker round, what do you call those things from home grit? Like a fruit holder thing, but it's like a double-decker, it looks like a pie plate. And on the bottom, it's full of red apples, and on the top, it's full of green apples. It's like, how much fruit do you guys eat? That's a lot of fruit.

Also, you shouldn't put alligator skin wallpaper as the back splash of your kitchen. How have I never noticed that before? I did not notice that. She's not back to go. Alligator skin pattern for your back splash. Why even have a black splash at that point? Like, well, I guess alligators are waterproof.

So I guess that makes sense. Isn't the back splash the point of it is like a surface that like when grease gets on it, you can wipe it off easily. So like, why do you want a pattern that looks like you never wiped off the grease? Because that's kind of an alligator skin looks like. I don't know if the problem was that I was paying

too much attention today or the problem was, I haven't been paying attention the last four years, but it was disturbing. And I can't believe I haven't seen it before. So lots of lots of fiber fiber and as my next lashes. So Justin, basically, he has an event. He has to do something for work and what he's like, but I mean, I get that. He's like, well, I won't be gone the whole day.

I mean, I can, I can reach out. I can FaceTime with or I just won't be there in person. And she's like, I mean, I can move it to the weekend before, but I have a prison event also. I wasn't sure if she said prison or prison, because I just liked the idea that would be like, hold on, I'm doing makeover for prison guards. I can't do Bobby's birthday.

I'm gonna try reforming prison people by giving them spiritual necklaces that they could buy on my website. We take chain gangs and make them go across countries skiing. It's an excellent event for people. And of course this is a work event and it's conflicting with his work event. It's you know, so whose event is more important? The man or the woman. That's the plot this year. Wait a minute. I'm just as important as you. My work is just as important as yours. I'm making a

necklace, the sign of inner peace. What is that shape? Why don't they just a good one? It's a heart. shape. Why don't they just a good one? It's a heart. Why don't they just have the birthday party a few days later? Like, like, give Bobby a nice cake on her birthday when he can be there, dad can FaceTime in and have the party like two days later. They're acting like this is totally intractable. Yeah, I know Bobby, like literally does not get a puppy. Does not get a puppy. I guarantee that. I guarantee Bobby is like oh my god I can't wait to have my birthday with Meredith marks and other women who are in their 40s and 50s No, she doesn't she wants to go out of the arcade or do whatever she's the arcade. I'm so old-fashioned She wants to go to the arcade at a buck or a taffy

She wants to go pony riding with you the kids should just She just can't wait. She wants to get a tinset penny whistle. Let me spin the tail on the actual donkey, just like we did back in my day. She wants to see the bearded woman and see a jug like the circus. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So she's like, oh, one more thing. Have you made the therapy appointment yet, Jay? He's like, uh, no, I guess I'll text the therapist now. She's like, okay, love you Jay. Boom, like hit your head on the way out on the side of the door.

Okay, so then Heather is in bright green workout gear and it's time to do an excursion with Monica. Yeah, this is a funny excursion because they basically arrive at some place. They get on snowmobiles. They ride on the snowmobiles to like the top of a mountain. They take a selfie and then they ride back down to the lobby. And then they have hot cocoa.

I'm like, okay, thanks for showing us that ride. That's cool. Yeah, we really went on a journey with that. It's like, is this going anywhere? And then they stopped. They kind of tricked us because they did the journey and then they stopped and they're like, oh my God, that was so fun.

The guy was like, yeah, that was so great. And Monica's like, oh my God, everything's so cute. The guy was like, yeah, that was so great. And Monica's like, oh my God, everything's things so cute. And it was like, okay, now it's time to gossip. And then they're like, let's get back on. So then they got back on and kept writing some more. Like on Beverly Hills, real houses of Beverly Hills, there would have been like a beautiful picnic table set up

with heat lamps and napkins and this cute basket and hot cocoa. But in this show, they're like, okay, send them back down to the vending machines in the public lobby. I know. They're like, hey, wait a minute. We've got half a mile left to gas.

Get the hell back on there. We paid for that. So by the way, did you know this is the same? I'm sure you did because like we've been covering these shows for years, but did you know this is the same production company as New York? You know what? I only read that I never noticed but I only read that recently because of the family fair article

And then I was like really? How are they doing such a good job on this show and such a bad job on that show Which makes me think it's Bravo's fault not the production company's fault Um, I just I'm just bringing it up because there's hope. You know, just keep on. Oh yeah, that's a good, that's also a good perspective too. That's a better perspective than mine. Yeah, I know. If you can do this, you can do that.

So how I look at it. Yeah. So they finish in Monica's like, Oh my God, this is like, you're so cute. I feel like we're in a homerc movie. Okay, well, you are the poor girl who came to town and then fucked her brother in the number you and half. What a man.

Actually, that's a hallmark movie I'm totally into. Please give me that hallmark movie. I will not watch another hallmark movie until that one is made. Is there a hallmark movie with like, that takes place in the lobby of a snowmobile facility? It's like a hallmark movie. I don't know. Is there like one with like Dean Kane where that takes place in the lobby of a snowmobile facility. It's like a homeic really.

Is there like one with like Dean Kane, where like Dean Kane meets up with Leah Thompson and they have, you know, they have like a snapple at a snowmobile lobby, is that a thing? Would they go to a Valvillium? I don't know. Remember that one where Tories Spelling falls in love with the supporting guy from Full House.

It was the blonde guy, is it the blonde guy's name? And then they end up... They're dory dashing some chilies to eat in the back seat of the car, but don't turn it on because it costs too much gas. God, that was a good one. Remember the one where Gabriella Carteris and the gardener from Desperate Housewives,

they meet at a car wash and they meet because they both reach for the same button on the vending machine, and they're like, hey, what are you doing here? It's like a meat cute. God, I love that. I love those home-ark movies. So good.

Yeah, it was just like that. So Heather's like, wow, yesterday was really hard at the Greek Easter. First of all, because I didn't know it was different than regular Easter, which made me feel really stupid. So I went around to everybody saying, hi, happy Easter. And they're like, it's not Easter, stupid.

I was like, oh, so anyway, that was me personally just projecting my own stuff. Because we kept saying, oh my God, Greek Easter, just say Easter. There are different days, okay? I'm a dumbass. They're like a week later, yeah. I'm like, yeah, they're like a week later, Ronnie.

I kind of forgot. I guess you weren't here that episode. I wasn't all over myself that episode. But yeah, I didn't know that. So anyway, she's like, when I saw you leaving with your kids and no shoes, it was hard. And so here's Heather. She got even poorer during Bavarti. She's like, wow, you guys left without any shoes on or freezing in the

smell. There were blood trails from the inside of the house, all the way to your car, because you had to sell your shoes for enough money to get the door open and to move it to your car. The way that Joan Baez started playing as you walked barefoot to your car. So what's funny is Heather is trying to be empathetic here, but then she either just talks about herself. She's like, oh my God. Like typical house. She's making, she's making her opinion all about herself. Yeah, she's like, tab your mom there and not helping you. It just reminded me of the way I feel about my own mom. And my mom was a stay at

home mom and she had six kids and three boys, three girls. She was the ultimate house maker. and she was smart and creative and fun. She taught me how to be a great mom and we grew up part when I got divorced and it was hard to accept the divorce, I guess, and it was hard navigating defending me and just felt like no one had my back. Let's see, other things about my mom. She had a library card. She drove a Toyota Corolla. She loved jeopardy, hated prices, right? What else can I tell you about her? That's not about you. So she was nothing like my mom is what you're trying to say.

So yes, the ultimate homemaker and good person. Mm. Yes, nothing like my mom. So go, go, we the real girl, come on girl. She's had this like, yeah, you know, she taught me how to be a great mom. So you're just gonna keep going about you to that. Mm-hmm.

So once I got divorced, it was just like so hard because no one would defend me, no one had my back. And she's like, um, here's the thing. Like, our relationship is so volatile. It thinks back to my childhood. And then we get a monologue, a monocolog about, and this is so sad, by the way, Jesus Christ, if even part of this is true, you know, because I, you know, I know we can all exaggerate,

but I'm like, this mom is terrible. And in the last recap, I was like, you know, well, the one that I talked to, you weren't here, I was talking about the Easter thing. And I thought, you know, this kid's, the slightly just being a fucking asshole and her mom's just telling her like, you're making an ass out of yourself calm down.

Like I thought the mom was being an asshole too. Like I get that that wasn't being, you know, and that was showing zero solidarity, but I was like, but Monica's being a brat. Like that's kind of where I came down. I remember specifically saying, if a parent is in a grocery store with their child and the child shits the floor, it's the parent's responsibility to tell everybody around them,

I'm sorry for my child sitting before. And Monica was kind of shitting the floor. I mean Monica went to that party, she just outed Sean or spread rumors about him loudly, either way, and was yelling at the hostess about it When the hostess was trying to stay calm, I just had such an icky feeling about it. I didn't like it. That said, wow, this story, I was like, retract.

The whole rewind and retract. Monica and her mom are so fascinating. The way that the season began with them and where it's going now, I mean, yeah, I agree. My instinct when I watched that was like, you know what? Like, listen, Linda was just trying to do the thing that you do when you're with companies, like, I'm so sorry.

Thank you for having me. She was being like doing the polite thing, but I understand why Monica was pissed because Monica was like, um, you come in like now, you're basically shooting me like a little child and you don't even know the context of this. But Monica was acting like an asshole at that party, to be honest, even if she was potentially in the right.

So now Monica tells the story about how when she was 12, her mom decided that she wanted to chase her own dreams and want basically moved to New York City, so she dropped Monica off with a family in Pennsylvania and then went and lived in New York. And then, you know, because as we heard earlier, Monica's dad left her when she was four, because famously she's like, oh, I know but my dad is he was gay and he left and he lives in Florida. So now she basically has huge abandonment issues.

So yeah, she says her mom left her for, no, her dad left her for, then her mom left her with this family. And so she has abandonment issues. And she was stuck starting junior high there with these like people who weren't even her family. And she said they were friends with her mom and they had moved to Pennsylvania.

And so she called them. It was like, can I just drop her off? I mean, wow. Yeah. That's, you know, I can see already. I'm like, fuck the mom. Yeah. And Heather's like, I'm, wow. Yeah, that's, you know, I can see already. I'm like, fuck the mom. Yeah, yeah. And Heather's like, I'm so sorry.

I've been there to Pennsylvania. Wow, the Amish. What an interesting culture. So did you raise a lot of barns when you were there? Interesting. I lived a life just like that, except I wasn't abandoned. And my mother made amazing cast roles.

Based on Pennsylvania. Well, that's not really true, but I did have, I mean, it was great. My mom's still a bitch shot, so there's that. What was it like giving up zippers? So Monica's like, she's like, um, girl, I think you and I have like, we marined, come in, and I ever thought we would. And like, I'm just so grateful,

I had to hurry that you like did this with me today, like, take me to would. And like, I'm just so grateful, I don't think you did this with me today, like taking me to a lobby, because like I wouldn't have even left my bed today, truly, that is like, not a joke. And Heather goes, you know what, you have a village now. You have built a new village, a village in a state and city called Crazy Fucking Town.

Okay? So you're gonna be okay. We, you know, except for the abuse that we all hurl on you. But you know what? That's just your new life. So suck it up. Okay. Your mom's gonna look like a fucking superhero when we're done with you. Your mom is gonna look like as good of a mother as my mother was back in the casserole days. A lot of time we're fucking been with you lady. Yeah, welcome to the village of ladies with severe mommy issues. So now, because this is an episode that's all about parenting, now we go to John Barlow

bringing a box upstairs and he's got some photo albums. He's like, hey, Jack, I'm gonna go down memory lane. Like, your mama's surprised I had these photo albums anymore. You wanna come look? Hey, look, here's a picture of me milking a cow. I'd never done that. And I was doing it in Vegas. You wanna come look? Hey look, here's a picture of me milking a cow. I'd never done that. And I was doing it in Vegas, isn't that wild? Jack's like, yeah, cool dad.

Oh, I know. This is like the Christmas off the charts. And this scene with the two of these. Jack, you wanna come down? Yeah, dad. You wanna memory lane it with me. Sure, dad. It's like, oh my God, how much of this are they splicing together? You know, one of them starts to, You want to memory lane it with me? Sure, dad.

It's like, oh my God, how much of this are they splicing together? One of them starts, Jack, you want to come here? And the next, yeah, dad. It's like, well, how are you suddenly standing next to each other? They had to probably cut out like three minutes of silence. It was step by step.

Okay, so, John is telling us, with Jack, by the way, John, very happy with Lisa or very terrified of Lisa, whatever, but they're marriage is strong. Why do we know this? What did we just learn? His spray tan is in line with with what Lisa requires. John is spray tan to the girls and he's like, what Jack making this decision. I wasn't as impacted as Lisa was.

Actually, haha, he told me two weeks before, haha, he told Lisa, bro, why are you admitting that on TV? I hope you enjoy getting your fucking second Rolex thrown out the car window. Seriously, the producers are like, were you afraid of Lisa's reaction? He goes, she probably beat the shit out of me probably. So then John's reading, he's reading from his, when he did his mission, he had like, his journal, and his journal said, Testimony of God answering prayers just increased a hundred times overnight.

Han, I have been praying to find a family of four to baptize this month, and we found them. So what a coincidence. That is just, that can't be coincidence. The God put a family of four, that is such a weird number for a family. It's me. I can't believe an entire metropolitan area you found four people who are like,

cool, let's get baptized. In Vegas. Yeah, that's nuts. So Las Vegas you've found a family for absolutely. Fucking crazy, John. It's just funny. It's just funny compared to what I was praying for when I was like 18 or 19. I don't even know.

I was like, dear God, please let me get an Nintendo 64. He's like, dear God, I'm praying to convert a family of four. Here's what I was praying for. As my team 93, I was graduating high school. Well, not really because I refused to finish. You were going to the arcade. But I was finishing, I was finishing graduating high school, well not really because I refused to finish it. You were going to the arcade. But I was finishing, I was finishing up high school and getting ready, saving up my Applebee's money to go to New York and starring in the sound of music.

And here is my dream. Dick, I'm going to the line of Dick. I'm gonna bring my mission of deck to the town of deck. I could not wait to get to New York, Dixitty. I could not wait. It's a life with a sound of penis. Dic a dick, a female dick,

Dic a drop of gold and dick. So long farewell, I'll be the same vagina. No vagina. I'm saying goodbye to it. I'm not changing the score. No, I'm saying goodbye. I'm saying goodbye to the vagina. Never said hello to it.

Saying goodbye to any potential. Yeah, believe you just brought vagina. I'm sorry. Let me change this. Let me change this around. Jesus. Wait, what are their songs around the sound of music? Oh, Climb every boner.

Dick every dick. Dick, dick, dick, if we did keep vagina as a couple of songs, we could have... How do you solve a problem like vagina? Dikati dick. Dikati dick. Dikati dick. Dikati dick. Dikati dick.

That's it. Anyway, that was Michael in 93. God, those were the days. So, um, Jon's like, yeah, if I hadn't gone on a mission, I wouldn't have met Lisa because her sister was a missionary and she brought Lisa to hang with one of my roommates on the rest is history. Why is everybody from the show reading off the cute card? Do they literally just write this show down? I want to know what a Mormon mission to Vegas looks like because as far as we know,

they went to Vegas and he found a lady in the banked. All right, so like that, like the Vegas missions, probably where it's at for Mormons, right? Been a bang. Well, I've seen it. I don't think they banged. I feel like they banged.

It's literally in the name. Oh, wow. Missionary position. Oh, wow. I'm sorry, I don't want to lose. The most things they did, like maybe she got bangs. Maybe she got bangs. No, that's what I meant.

Like you go there, you get bangs. Like that's what you do. I mean, look at Jack. He's got his bangs. Jack is already banged. He's getting banged at home. He loves a full bang. He's just got banged before this episode.

His bangs are hideous here. Actually, that was one of my first notes of what happened to Jack's hair, but we can't talk about it till Lisa comes on. Oh, actually, I wrote his hide lighter bangs, please stop. That's my note. We continue our mission. There's so many important things.

There's so many things going on in this world. I still think my number one political stance is down with teenage boy fluffy bangs. That is still... I can't get with it. Like, who started this trend and why is it happening and why is it still here so many years later? And they all have it.

And they're like walking cartoon characters because they're all traveling packs. You know, as you do when you're that age and you go to a restaurant and a pack of them comes in and they look like they're from a cartoon. You know, it's like, what world have we been invaded by? I know. And what did they do to your hair? Why? It doesn't matter where it region you're from.

All these kids know it's all over. Yeah. Yeah. That's all over. So, um, um, he's going to get an email telling him where his mission is going to be, where he's going to be taken. And so Lisa pops in and she's like, Oh my God. Hi, everybody. Just having a pops in and she's like, oh my God, hi everybody. Just having a private scene. Mommy's here. So she sits down with them and she goes, so, oh my God, Jack, we're going to have a huge party for your mission. So what if we have a party? And

then you're called us and come. I'm just realizing that Jack does not not have any value and anything I say or anything I feel and so we see one week earlier They're talking about this mission reveal and she's like so for your like mission reveal like what do you want? What do you want there like you had to tell me do you want some higher tops do you want some my tables? I can do that and he's like I just want liquid death and charcootery a Classic pairing by the way. She is, that's, I feel like that's boring. Like she's so offended. She's like, hello, you have the queen of Sundance.

And Jack's like, boring is good. Did you not hear me? This is a party for missionaries. It's supposed to be boring. There's supposed to be like strippers and like, Cirque du Soleil and hoops. Like what part of going on a mission? It sounds like it's supposed to be fun, exciting, sexy times. This is like, you want to, you want to give some people some party favors,

drag in some ungodly people to convert. You know, they can practice on them. This is a party game. What part about putting on a short sleeve button down shirt in the tie and going door-to-door sounds like? Like, woohoo! Big, ranging party! To them that's like a crop top on a Friday night, you know, bring it on baby!

So Lisa's like, well we're in Jack's world right now and it's all like, Jack's doing what Jack's doing. I'm like, Jack's got this vibe that he needed frosted tips and like, I don't got it. Like, while we were living in the 90s, thank you, Lisa, for finally using your platform for good. Thank you, Lisa. Because Lisa will never say anything bad, you know, and this is where she's just completely perplexed. Like, she accepted the missionary thing. She accepted him not going to college, Fudge College, honestly. She accepted everything, but she's like, okay, frosted tips. No, that's it. I've completely lost. No, absolutely not.

So John's like, well, we're proud that you're doing this, even though you didn't tell us for a while, just kidding. I know you told me as soon as possible. So growing up Mormon, a lot of times it's expected. And I have friends whose parents borderline threatened them that if they didn't go on a mission, that they'd be kicked out of the family. So thanks for not making us do that because that would have been hell-gourd.

I don't like to talk about that. And John's crying to us. He's like, I'm just so proud of how he's progressed so far. Pride doesn't even cover it. And then it comes back to him. And he's like, just so you know, if you ever want to come back. The door is open for you.

There were times on my mission where I wanted to come back. And Jack gives him this like little sweet innocent smile, like, thanks dad. And then Lisa's like, yeah, so I had this roommate in college that was so crazy. Bad. And I'm telling you guys for a reason, like I came home one day and she was wearing all my clothes sitting on my bed and I was like, what are you doing? As she said, I just wanted to know what it is like to be here for a day. And then she lifted up her shirt and said, have a good time. And I said, Heather, get out of my room.

You wear it all. I mean, they're going to be like compagnons that you're not going to like, jock, and you're stuck with them close quarters. Someday you're going to be cast onagnons that you're not going to like Jack and you're stuck with them in close quarters. Someday you're going to be cast on a TV show with them. And you have to talk about, you have to talk about life with them. It's going to be terrible. There are uncool people in this world, Jack. And I need you to be warned.

Meanwhile, let's like flashback to season one when these Sibarlo and Meredith Marx looked identical and no one could tell them apart for the first three episodes. She's like, that's crazy. Someone trust me. I'm like, so yeah, great. I just want to warn you, stay away from gays, Jack. Whoa, no, are we supposed to try and help them? No, those homosexuals are fine. Heather Gays, stay away from Heather Gays. Single white missionary. If you come home and you see your roommate with your exact same frosted test, do a cell of favor and tell them to die of them because those are hadios. Wait, so it's really crazy to have a roommate that dresses like you, but if you happen

to have a roommate that does not frost the tips, we do encourage you to dress like your roommate. That would be okay. If you want to try out someone else's look, we're encourage you to dress like you're a roommate. That would be okay. If you want to try out someone else's look, we're okay with that. Fatal attraction bad, attraction fatal, sometimes works. I'm just going to say that. So Meredith and Monica are in a parking lot with Heather and they're about to go across. I'm curious. Here's the parking lot scene. So Meredith and Monica are they've gathered in a one of those wet parking lots where

it's like 55 degrees out. Most of the snow has melted but there's a bank of dirty snow that's going to last until May 3rd and they're all getting ready to go cross country skiing. And Heather's like last winter I took my daughter's cross country skiing on a whim and we had this amazing time. It was like communing with nature, it was quiet and this feels like good, cheap fun and we should do it with my friends.

First my mom had done this with me growing up, sorry, just wanted wedging a little bit more mommy drama, sorry. So Whitney shows up. She's like, did somebody say cheap fun? I'm here. So she's like, I'm born and raised in Utah. I grew up with all the snow things, but I've never been invited to do country skiing. Cross, I always thought it was something I would do when I'm older, like the elderly women in my neighborhood. Man, I'm going to have to ask you to take a seat on the snow bag, okay, because I love Crossgun Drew's skin.

Of course I do. Of course I love the elderly lady's skin, but I do. We are elderly ladies to it, me and you know, we are basically two women in swim caps doing water aerobics's a lot to win. Listen, I am not a good downhill skier. I tried, I think I've talked about this when I was a kid. I tried to learn how to ski at a place called Invermont, a mountain that's literally called Suicide Six.

Why is it called that? That's a terrible name for a mountain. I could, I am bad, I cannot ski. I've never been able to master the bunny hill, but cross country skiing. You give me a flat surface with like slight hills and dales and valleys or whatever. Love it.

I'm all about the cross country skiing. Now, I've support you. And if we ever are in the position where there's cross country skiing, I will support you by pulling out one of the folding chairs and eating while you do it. I believe in cross country sitting down. No, you glide along. You glide along. You glide along.

Like they make little tracks in the snow. So you just, you go like, you just glide along and you're going through the trees and up and down. So usually I'm like a golf course that's snowed over and you go around and you see a pond and you see a bush. You see a cloud. It's just so lovely. Who needs to, who needs to. I just want to like go down a mountain fast.

It doesn't make any sense. I don't. But you just don't want to do that either. Oh, no. Well, okay, I excite that. Putting things on your feet that trap you into them, what are you doing? Why would you do that?

You can't, you're fucked. I think there's no getting out of this. I know. Things I hated about skiing by Bethany Frankel. I stopped. First of all, I created skiing, okay? It's time for ski reckoning, okay? People don't realize you're going down a mountain fast.

Who created this? You know what, before I invented skiing, they only had snowboarding. I said, you know what, we need skinny skis, okay? Skinny boards and we call them skis. You know what, snowboarding, you know what else is on a board? Water, water boards. That's basically what you're doing.

You're in waterboarding and feet on the snowboard. Because snow is basically water, so you're waterboarding. This is absolutely, we cannot have this and this is anti-coins fault. Oh, where, we cannot have this and this is Andy Cohen's fault. Oh, we're gonna have a rocker man. So anyway. So Whitney makes her old people joke and cracks up at herself.

And then of course when she says, the old women in my neighborhood like it. Then it customarited going, Oh my, I bring you such a natural. I know. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and then I fell over immediately. I can't figure it out.

I would have loved it if like Monica's grandma just went speeding by like, that's what you have of course. That's what you're doing. Hmm. So Meredith is like, no, there's a hell coming. I'm going. I'm going to want to go up and up and up for the the you want to go there with the cross country thing you want to go

there with the hills but you can see me so Heather you know of course has to do that do this I'm the king of the world doesn't makes sense in this kind of text on boats. Didn't you already do this on below deck? Leave it at home, Heather. So they have some antics and then a much like the snow and bill scene, they return back to from when they began.

They go to the parking lot and they set up some rickety chairs from like, exporting these good, sporting goods. and Heather pulls out some supermarket olives and everything. She's like, I got some Kalamata olives and some blue cheese stuffed olives. And she goes, all right, ladies. She had like some whipped cheese, like some cream cheese. I mean, this was a pretty good spread. It was like a 10, 10 things from the grocery store. I wasn't. I liked it, but again, it's like not very real housewives.

Like they're pulling like the plastic off. Like real housewives normally it's like a whole fancy thing. And so Heather goes, okay everyone take one last look at the snow. It might be God next time we come here. I'm like, we're supposed to like saver this brown slush that's been piled up by the side of like the reserve parking sign. I love how incense you are over the landscape in this episode.

I'm just, you've like had it with the dirty snow. Well, dirty snow. Well, dirty snow. I'm dirty snow. Do not believe I'm watching a house size with dirty snow. Dirty snow is like the Daron Aeronautsky version of beautiful fluffy snow, you know?

Like, you know, like in December, when the snow comes down, it's like, oh my God, it's whimsical, it is like a hallmark, we'll be the holidays. No, let's act like we're known a writer in Everett's his hands, but then like in January of February, when that snow is piled up and it's dirty and it's brown, and you're like still walking, like getting your feet cold and wet

while you're going to the supermarket, you're like, fuck this gritty ass snow, it's so cute. Oh yeah. When I left New York, it was after like a big blizzard that was going on for like eight days, and the snow was piled up on the side of the street, so it's like a maze of snowbanks

to work your way through, and then it started to melt, and then I got splashed by a cab with muddy snow. So I was walking around covered in that shit. Someone pushed, some old lady pushed me out of the subway line. I tripped down the stairs and then I got down there and finally got through the line and then the sub, it was closed. We had to go around so we had to walk back up the stairs and get rain done because that was like raining dirty shit and then go down and I was like, you know what, bye, goodbye. The old lady was like, welcome to the city of Dick's, gay boy. You wanna see a dick?

She pushed me. She pushed me and stood right in front of me. Okay, and it took my place. I wasn't even in the front of the line. That's just how city it was. Okay, so no one needs to see it. Anyway, enough of a cup, Anthony. He was like, get out of the way.

It's a super lucky. It's a super lucky day. It's a super lucky day. And she was like, excuse me, I invented skiing, but for me it was snowboarding. She was crosscutter skiing down the street. Out of the way, I'm in the part of the story where I love cross country skiing and then I realized later on that I was just part of a cult.

So Whitney's like, wow, Monica, do you have a new Range Rover fancy? And sure enough, it is a different Range Rover than we've seen. And Monica's like, oh that's a rental car. So when I am handing, I am to get a good new car and listen, I paid for everything, but it's my mom's name. So whenever she gets mad at me, she takes my car. And she took my car after Angie's Easter dinner, and then she left me without a car,

and with my four kids. Wow, and we didn't even have shoes anymore. That's so bad. I'm not laughing at her mystery. I'm just laughing at like, this is a mess. This is such a mess. I'm so like, why don't get a Range Rover, like, you know?

So Heather, Well later we see she's not in that range Rover anymore. I also like why it's like don't get a Range Rover or like, you know, so Heather. Well, later we see she's not in that Range Rover anymore. Later we see her in a really old Lexus, I think. I don't know, but we saw her in a Range Rover all season. I'm so confused about what the car situation is with her. So, and I know it doesn't matter, actually, probably if you've got bad credit, you've got bad credit, so it doesn't matter if the Range Rover or a Fort Taurus, you know. Well, the monthly payment, the monthly payment price, doesn't it? Well, I imagine like that, that's something high.

But we saw it earlier, she's trying to fit in. I went to Circus Creek, and I bought a bag. So, anyway, but that's fucked up. The mom basically, Lucille Blue thingy, being like, look at me withholding. I'm taking back your car, because I'm at it. You, that is so fucked up. The mom basically, Lucille Blue thing it be like, look at me withholding. I'm taking back your car because I'm at you. That is so fucked up. So, um, Monica's like, so I had to write another car. So I could be here and murder. There's like, wait a second, Meredith marks a squire here. How was she mold even feel the best? She's and she wants a car buying food. And Piam, or she's calling the police and saying,

it's stolen. And she's like, yeah, it's sick girls, it's sick. And we're just like, wait a minute, you're paying for it. But it's her cry. Oh, it sounds like when she's angry, there's just no reason. And you want to talk about one more. One girl is just because she's like angry and it's like a control tactic. And she's like throwing a tantrum. And like, she's like, give me that back.

Oh. And their advice is you need to take your control back, which is easy to say when you've got credit. Because like she needs, that's the way she's able to control her in this moment, right? Yeah. Or sucks. That does suck. Yeah.

And then, Berth goes, wow, when it's not volatile, when it's calm, you know, and not anger, and it's like me giving Brooks his bank, his binkyinky you don't want to do it. It won't let you go. No way. Pulling sentals down a little bit. Bands all. I'm on it because like oh my god. Like she's actually really charming.

You'd probably like her, but like she's like Ted Bunkey. No one ever thought he was a murderer because he was just so charismatic. And Heather says, Heather says there's a lots of legends in Utah about Ted Bundy. I didn't know Linda was one of them. I didn't quite get that, but I guess she's just saying, Linda's like Ted Bundy, I don't know. So Heather's like, you know,

I'm the only one that's absolutely not talking to my mom, but I'll just want to throw that out there to show that like my mommy issues are still the prime mommy, they're using the alpha mommy issues here. So don't try to take her from my mommy issue story line from the past four years Monica. Thanks very much. He Ted Bundy was jailed in Utah.

Well, look at that. Oh, he's got a mission. He killed at least five was such front teenagers as he went to law school and joined the LDS church in Utah. Well, there he is. Who knew that? Did you know that? Probably everyone knew that.

Ted Bundy was LDS. Probably everyone knew that, especially in Utah, but I did not know that. I don't, I didn't watch the Ted Bundy serial of them, the show on Netflix, and I have not really paid any attention to Ted Bundy, but yeah, people when that show came out on Netflix, people like, this is the most disturbing, violent, horrifying thing.

I had to turn it off and then I watched all nine episodes. Like, that is so, that is so hard times. People are in love with that shit. They love it. Oh my god. They love it. I couldn't sleep for a week. It was amazing. So Whitney goes, well, I didn't talk to my mom for 13 years. Heather, I just wanted to throw my name in the ring of mommy issues. And Monica's like, girl, it's crazy because like we all have these like daughters and like all these like insanely ships with our mothers and it's like we have to we have to do like so much better and then they had their joking that it's because they're all the same religion and she's like don't leave Judy is a maraudeth and she's like oh wait,'t, I do have plenty of drama.

I feel like it was supposed to be, to mom, y'all become married. Meredith is extra married up to the sink. Did you notice? Yeah, it was so hilarious. Like, she's really going over the top right now to be like, I'm having so much fun. Cause she knows it's about to go south with Whitney.

So she's like doing her utmost to be like fun married if so she can have the contrast of like I fucking I know but Meredith I've been a couple seconds. I also just like her giggling that she's like well I talked to my mother all the time. I have a great relationship with my mother we just made white bean salad together the other day. Oh my god it's a two-part recap everyone this is the end of part one. Stick around for part two, because we are going to break down that entire scene at the end of this episode with Monica and Linda. It is really, I mean, I'm so glad to smack by it. But anyway, thanks everyone for listening

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Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily signs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony.

Juni, my favorite Murto, Karen McMurto. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible edible Matthew sisters, Nancy Cicentacisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She's quite the catch, it's Victoria Couchett. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar. We love you guys.

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