Watch What Crappens - #2211 RHOM Part One: Event Horizon

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Real Housewives of Miami is back for season 6 and Alexia throws a New Horizons party to get the cast (and audience) back on her side after she went too far at the reunion and Todd recorded a seven cycle apology to Anthony on Instagram. There’s laughter, tears, and a very cute wailing goat. This is part 1 of a 2 part episode! This week’s bonus episode is a ranking of the most reasonable phobias. Why? We have no idea. Enjoy! Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensGet all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how our Prince Without Direction became a Duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I have crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under crammed under cr Hello, this is a two part recap. Please enjoy part one. Hello, and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the hilarious and beautiful and very sexy

Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi, it's me, Rago Sexpot over here. How's it going with you, Benny? Oh, so good because we're here to talk about the Miami premiere. Miami is so good. It is arguably, I would say the best produced Real Housewives on the air. It looks so good.

It just everything, the music to look, the sound, the vibe, the editing. They just like smash it. I mean, just the face is on to look, the sound, the vibe, the editing, they just like smash it, pieces on here. Every year, it's like, you know some shows you'll get a new theme song every year or some shows you'll get like a new set piece or something new every year. This show, the faces, just the new faces on display every single time. So well done. I don't know that I would say well done, but just so beautifully and retainingly done Yeah, they just they kill it with this show. Oh, it's so good. It was so

exciting to have it back between Miami and Salt Lake City. This is it's just like we are so we are so hashtag blessed right now to have this stuff on TV. So yeah, we're talking Miami before we dive into that come join us us on Patreon, Patreon.com slash Watch Your Crappins, and you can watch this episode, not just listen to it, but listen to Crappins on demand, or watching Crappins on demand, signing up on that level. We have access to our bonus episode. And yeah, follow us on social media. Thanks everyone, earlier this week, who came out for crappy hour, that's every other

Monday. So be sure to follow us at watch or crap ends on Instagram. So that way you can participate in crappy hour next time. I don't know. I don't think there's anything else to talk about. Let's just like dive into Miami, shall we? Let's do it. I've missed this show.

I forget how many crazy things happen on this show every time they show the clip of like, this is why I'm mad at you from last year. I was like, I have to show is so ridiculous. It's so good. Like, it's so into it and so upset and the fights are just ridiculous and I fucking love it. And just all the voices and all the accents to anybody who's here for the first time. Hi, I'm Ronnie. That's been and and we are terrible at these accents. We know it. We know that it could possibly

verge on being offensive, but we're not really going for that. We're really trying to sound like them, and make us do some adventures. But we know that we often fail at that, and we apologize in advance. Yeah, we're actually trying to sound like the specific people.

We're not trying to sound like, this is what everyone's telling. This is like everyone from this group sounds like. We're actually just trying to sound like the specific people. We're not trying to sound like this is what everyone sounds This is like everyone from this group sounds like we're actually just trying to sound like that person So we're gonna try not to fail, but we probably will That's just how we roll. Yeah, sadly poorly. Okay, we roll bad accents We just roll poorly on with these bad accents and it also takes us a few episodes to kind of get back in the swing of them and the Characters and stuff like that. Okay, so that's enough of that. I just wanted to pre-apologize because I really hate apologizing

and I don't wanna apologize next week. So there's pre-apology. If you get super offended, just go replay that for yourself every morning. Okay. I'm sorry. There you have it. I'm sorry.

But you know what, reverse, I'm sorry for this show. I say, well, what is the opposite of I'm sorry? I'm not sorry. This has nothing, bad segue. What I'm trying to say is, also congratulations to this show for making the transition from peacock back to big daddy bravo. This is huge.

I mean, I know that below deck down under did it first, but really, it really speaks to the journey that Miami has been on since the third season. It came back many years later on Peacock, where it found a new audience and new eyeballs, and finally received the respect that it had deserved all those years ago. And now here it is, coming back on Bravo as a varsity level S-tier housewives. It's just so good. It is so, so good. And the fact that Bravo gives it to us, the same night as Beverly Hills is actually kind of hilarious because talk about two totally

different franchises. Like Beverly Hills where it's like, I just feel like, I don't know, like I'm just like upset. And on Miami where they just go at it, they say exactly what's on their mind instead of just like doing the color returns thing thing. It's just yeah on Beverly Hills, Dorit's like, we're gonna go see a speed which would heal that, you know, doing all that stuff whereas on this show, one of the characters is a brujah. So yeah, remember last season when they went to spiritual healers, like we'll put a fucking black, black cloud over your head. So like have a spell to, you know, do terrible things to you.

And the other show's like, oh, talking stick. Yeah, I'm Beverly Hills. It's like, oh, we brought in a healer and now we're gonna have a group hug. On this show, it's like, we brought in a healer and Adriana, someone fell in Adriana's foot and now she needs to be in a wheelchair

and now she's, she's equated her bruise to the life altering injury of Frankie. Like it's just like so different, you know. Yeah. So we see New York 126 23. Welcome to the season five reunion of real outs lives of Miami. Tongue. And Lisa going, you said, I said I mean listen I was just saying something about it because you kept saying I'm a star I'm a star and Alexi

going yes because if you believe that you would not have let Lenny do all of these things to you oh my god oh the cringe even now so even out of context I cringe all over it telling somebody who just got dumped for some younger model, like, yeah, believe in yourself and you won't get cheated on. Yeah, if you just stood up for yourself more and then Adriana saying, I never wanted to do anything with your ex-boyfriend. I regret it and Alexia saying,

that's what you resent, that I have like so much love in my life and she wants everything that I have, oh well you know Peter. Hmm, so then we got to a taxi, a talking to us and she's like, after, after New York, I really wasn't happy with a lot of the things that I said and I've looked back and I didn't like a lot of the things I saw when I look back.

Look, I'm going to look back. Oh, that's my couch. That's actually my couch is very nice. So maybe if there was something ugly behind me, I could say I don't like it, but it's my couch and I's actually my couch is very nice. So maybe if there was something ugly behind me I could say I don't like it, but it's my couch and I like it. It's very nice So I look behind me and I see a very tasteful couch. Sorry. I'm sorry Alexia is wearing kind of like a Clah-ke look. It's like not a full Clark Kent, but it's like a half Clark Kent. So it's Clah-ke and

Because she's like a blazer like on one half is a blazer, like on one half is like a blazer. And the other half is like a blazer that's being kind of torn off of her and not quite there. It's like half of her body is transitioning to Superman, but the other half is like, oh, but you know, I still have to do my report. I have to be, go back to the newsroom. Yeah, I feel like she's, you know, she's a part of a couple and they're both waiting at the subway together. And she's like, oh my god, we got to stop my subway here. Bye, have a good day.

And then she's leaving and then Todd's like, hey, wait a minute, you forgot your phone. And he's trying to grab her jacket and like pulls it off like her shoulder. And that's she's, she's both the person on the train going off to a new city and the person running after the train being like, wait, no, I love you. Clock hair. Stop. Clock hair. Oh, this is clock hair. I'm going to design a clock hair. Oh my God. June, what are you having for lunch? Just please don't feed me any kryptonite.

Kryptonite? No. No, don't feed me the shawarma. I'm going to my four of Salah to. So she is doing this thing where the audience really turned because Alexia was in a place where when the show came back after Hiatus, Alexia was the biggest hero of the show. Mostly because she's hilarious and gorgeous

and has all that and really charismatic and has all that stuff going for her. But also she had the housewives. Everything bad was happening, you know? Every thing. Every thing. Like she had 10 dramas going at once. She had a new man.

Her son was suffering from the brain injury stuff. She had, her ex has been died. Then she kind of outed him on the show. Right. Postimously. Her ex is a drug, as like a drug kingpin. Like everything, as like everything happened to Alexia. So it was like very like, oh my god, Alexia.

But then last season, people really started to turn on Alexia. They didn't like her. They felt like she was an asshole. She was an asshole. It's not like everybody was just being fickle. She was a total asshole and really came in and overplayed her hand, I think. She was a little arrogant.

I still deeply enjoyed her, but she was an asshole. So now she has taken the notes. Good for her, because now she's coming in and it's like, oh, well, you know, I saw a lot of things I didn't like. And so I'm like going to, you know, I'm going to change. I mean, look at the sofa behind me. And it's a new version of me. Okay.

Yeah, it's a new version. It's Alexia. 3.Klaque. People are gonna go. I don't need you to change. And you're not one of the people on Bravo that I think, oh my God, I hope Alexia changes. No, please don't change. Just it's Bravo. Don't change. Well, I, but what I like is she should not change, but I like that she's like, okay, I'm not going to stagnate either. I realized I hear what the audience is saying.

I'm going to make a little pivot, so this will be like my pivot season, so people like me again, but I'm not going to change. Well, here's the other thing. This is Bravo and you can't change. You know what I mean? So maybe it is good, she thinks she you can't change. You know what I mean? So maybe it is good. She's saying she's gonna change because it never actually leads to change Because you're a human and you're a human on Bravo and humans generally don't change listen I've been trying to change for years. Have I changed a little maybe I'm Walder I'm older

Otherwise, no, not really. I'm still the same bitch, okay? I maybe learned how to phrase things a little differently But I'm the same bitch as before. I'm an SBAB, same bitches before. Oh, well, you know what they say? You know, who's like that? Le Lou, Lake Luther. So, always the same bitch. So Alex, Alexia is like, she's like,

you know, I feel like a lot of these girls, including myself, are like not in a good place right now. And like, I know I can bring them together. Like if any of us can do it, it's me. I'm like literally, they're the last person to do it. Actually, you know, I can't do it. I already was born a star.

So, if anybody can do it, it's me. Star spring people together. So, It's a star's do. So, Laura, so we see her doing party prep at her house and Laura's at home and Julia comes and Julia's like, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt

And the Lexi says, oh, you brought your eggs and she said, Of course I did, eggs, chicken, go up, go up! Now by the way, speaking of fortressesolitude, that is what Alexis House is reading as. It is so cavernous and echoey in there. I'm actually surprised that Superman is not just like hanging out in the corner thinking about things. It is a fortressesolitude.

I'm convinced that that's even her apartment. I still believe that this is the party room of an apartment building. It's the community room. Yeah. Well, you know, be great to start that controversy This is the party room of an apartment building. It's the community room. Yeah. Well, you know, it'd be great to start that controversy because last season started off with apartment controversy, which was good.

So people arrive Lisa and her boyfriend, Jody. Jody come in and then Gurdie and people are just all entering in. Alexia is like, oh, well, you know, like this is the moment, like for everybody to all come together and like put out differences aside in our strange blazers and like we start and figure it all out because like I know in the end, we all secretly love each other and outwardly hate each other. But do we because later? You had the problem in this group, the worst, the worst woman!

We see Julia yelling at somebody. And then we see somebody say, oh, Nicole's saying, I thought we're, oh no, Nicole's man, Anthony, I just wrote, I calls man. So that's why I was having trouble reading that note. But Anthony said, I thought we were gonna have a great night, one week earlier. So Alexia and Todd are walking along on the beach and, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t I want to take advantage of having a beach not back. Yeah, we really should do that. I'll see you. Huh? Oh, you know what? You know, I don't make the time to come down here and

look at the ocean. You know why? Because there's a stand. I don't like it. You're not. You're rid of the sand. Maybe it'll come. But I'm changing now. So I'm doing it now. She goes, I'm always on the go. I'm like, where are you going? What do you do? What do you do? Where are you going? Aside from the title, man. Go to summer. Always on the go. Always on the go. So I was like, well, it's time to slow down a little bit.

You know, we're in the next phase of not doing anything. We're not doing anything last season. We're not doing anything. We're not doing anything, but a different kind of not doing anything. Listen, I have a manicure place that I don't do things in. So don't tell me that. Play some the go. Like a show. I'm gonna go. You know, I'm gonna go to my manicure shop. And you know that I don't do things in, so I don't tell me that. Okay, I'm gonna go.

Like a shop. I'm gonna go. You know? I'm gonna go to my manicure shop. And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go. You know what? I'm like someone who is like always gets like double sixes in monopoly, just going around

that board because I'm always like on the go. I'm on $200. Do you know what I do, PASS? Go. When I play my nipple Manipulate Nipple I'm not playing like a bad play man apple So so taught taught and I have been together for almost like seven years and like it

I you know it doesn't feel like I'm like a newlyweds We're just like working on being together and being stronger and being on the go. But it's been like a growing process, as well as on the grow, and that doesn't happen overnight. So what we do is we're super in love and we're super into each other and we want to grow all together and walk on the beach once every three years. And you know what Todd did? He apologized to Anthony on the internet. And we see Todd of like an Instagrammer's video or something of Todd.

He's like, All right. First of all, I would like to apologize to a man named Anthony. Sometimes as adults, we do things that are wrong. And it's very important to acknowledge when we've done said wrong things. Being a man who I am from Staten Island as I came from whence I did. I have to say it's like 30 minutes later. Sometimes emotions get the best of you.

And when they get the best of you, they get the worst of you at the same time. Because that's what we are as humans. Next page. Humans are complex people. And we have difficult things and emotions. They get the worth of you at the same time because that's what we are as humans next page Humans are complex people and we have difficult things and emotions and we think about it And when I was in Staten Island when I would take the verisano bridge over to Manhattan I would think is this the best of me going over the bridge and was the bridge going over the best of the water And as the water bad next page and that makes me realize that sometimes people as are you listening? Sometimes people make mistakes like living in Staten Island for instance next page. And that makes me realize that sometimes people, as are you listening?

Sometimes people make mistakes. Like living in satin island for instance. What a mistake. Never should have lived there. I wish I had told my mother don't mad me born there. Next page. Just kidding. I was just kidding.

My family shouldn't know when they arrived from New York City and have taken the failure with a satin island and the Statue of Liberty literally turned that back on him. They shouldn't know this is not the place to live. However, wins fourth. This is from wins I came in. And another thing. Sometimes as adults, we don't realize we have a beach nut backyard that we never go out onto and we spend all our time in a cabinet empty echoey white shiny living rooms

and there's a beach out there so I encourage you Anthony and anyone listening make sure you walk on your beach. And he tells us, no he tells in this video it's like nine minutes later and he goes TV got the ugly out of me and I'm really sorry. Oh it's TV they did it huh. So Alexia says you know I was not aware that Todd was going to do this on social media and I didn't like that he didn't tell me because I would have been like, babe, don't do it. I mean, not because I didn't want him to apologize, but maybe not on social media.

And so then we cut to Nicole and she's like, oh, she's wearing a heart cut out top with like these straps that look like Christmas ornament be the thing. I don't know how this thing is comfortable. It looks like the most uncomfortable thing I've ever seen. And this is bravo. I mean, this is Miami. They were notoriously uncomfortable things on this show. But this looks really bad. It looks like painful. Yeah. And she's like, well, you know, it was nice. It was nice of Todd to apologize to Anthony. I think he owned it and like it is what it is. And I don't think he need to make a social media video about it,

but like he could have just like called Anthony, but like, one thing and one more thing. I was like, oh my God, he's still going. So then he goes on for another few minutes, and then it casts a lisa and she's like, like, I don't like things like I've ever like given like seen anybody give like a nine minute of power to you before and like I've never done it even and I've like some done some pretty shitty things.

Yeah, and it just shows like Todd, minute seven, minute eight, minute nine. At least it's like, it was just like a lot of talk. And I'm not gonna talk about that video anymore. That ship has sailed Alexia. I did the video and I learned things and I did things. So then we find out Alexia's theme for the day. She's like, I'm having a party. I'm gonna have the girl sober.

And the theme is Nuele Horizantes, which is new horizons. It's like, forget about the past, bro. And like, focus on living in the moment and having an amazing future together because like, in the moment of the future, it's like not the past anymore. It's like the moment of now, but it's not like the now from yesterday.

It's like the now of tomorrow. But like tomorrow is gonna be today, you know? Oh, X, yeah, why are you putting your face into the sand? Oh, New Horizons. Because normally, the horizons out there on the ocean, but now it's a new horizon. So it's in the sand Well, listen to everyone's ready to move on you'll see you can't help it if people are to grudge What are you gonna do? Okay? It's your home. You lead the energy. You lead it. Okay, I promise to do that and Tyco's you know and let me just let me know the time of the place I'll show up and by show up. I mean I'll not be there whatsoever

You make me so peaceful babe, check you make me so peaceful. I'm like there totally getting it worse Yes, Todd Napola the most peaceful the peaceful making person of all time. Hey, what's going on around here? You want to talk about it? You're on the PBR? I'll be sure three times more. I mean, you're faster than harder whatever. You're still better than super-loving. It's walking down the beach.

Hey, you know what? You move your fucking back. Move your fucking towel back. OK, you have a fucking dinner here with your fucking towel. And you know what you're going to get for me? Honestly, you know why? Because you're my fucking backyard. OK.

This beach beach so sandy Hold on I would like to apologize to the asshole. I was just rude to on the beach as you Sometimes in life people suntan and I have to appreciate that it's not my choice of leisure time But for other people it's a lot so I apologize to the person who I kicked sand on while they were trying to relax TV got the worst of me kickstand on while they were trying to relax. TV got the worst of me. Consider it a consumer in a facial fucking idiot. P.A.S.S.I.O.N. got me in a jam again. Sorry, everyone. So fancy shots of a yacht and Larsa and Lisa are in a double date with new grody men. What can I say?

One more mark. We don't really know much about Marcus. And Jody seems like he might be nice, but we finally see Jody talking on the show. And he's very like, hi. And they're on this beautiful, very fancy, chic yacht, much chic than anything that they ever give to below. I mean, below deck, the yachts they give to below deck, they all have like Lapis Lazuli and strange like Rekoko

Flores' but this one was like a nice yacht like that was like chic and all these amazing things. I feel like architectural digest would go on there. It's time for commercial, it's time for Rapins Comer. Today hip hop dominates pop culture but it wasn't always like that and to tell the story of how that changed I want to take you back to a very special year in rap. 88 it was too much good music.

The world was on fire. I'm Will Smith. This is Class of 88. My new podcast about the moments, albums and artists that inspired a sonic revolution and secured 1988 as one of hip-hop's most important years. moments, albums, and artists that inspired a sonic revolution. And Secured 1988 as one of hip-hop's most important years, we'll talk to the people who were there. And most of all, we'll bring you some amazing stories.

You know what my biggest memory from that tour is? It was your birthday. Yes, and you brought me to Shoddy's life size. Hard work, now. That's and you brought me to shot it. Life size hard work. Now, this is class of 88, the story of a year that changed hip hop. Listen to class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the entire series right now on the Amazon Music app or audible. So, Larsa has apparently rented it for an hour so that would they can shoot a scene and she's like, like, cheers, good night guys.

Like, brought you good weather and a nice boat and X5Z. At least it's like, yeah, this is real nice, this is real yacht. Larsa is like, yeah, next time you go on Nicole's boat, like, there's like a big difference like, yeah. I'm looking at Marcus's ID. She's a slut. She's slept with all the doctors in the hospital to get a herbell. That's what I heard like.

This boat is like a lot better than herbell because it has less sperm from random doctors at the hospital that she extracted. That's just like what I heard like. I can't help it. I'm sorry you're a slut. Yeah. Sorry. I'm saying all're a slut. Yeah, sorry. I'm saying all the love. It was the most of the doctors.

Yeah, Nicole's boat is called the SS Slat. It's called the Slat. What you've heard about Marcus, he's my friend, but we turn into lovers. She's, of course, her taking selfies, right? Lars is like, yeah, I brought you guys nice weather, nice boat, like tell Nicole about it, cause, I brought you guys nice weather, nice boat, like tell Nicole about it,

cause there's like a big difference. And then Lisa's taking pictures. She's like, let me take pictures of you two kissing. Oh my God, let's get it for the ground. Love, love, love. Marcus is like, wow, really love the commentary while you take our pictures. So he seems like he has a super sparkling personality too.

And I looked up his Instagram. This is the thing. His Instagram is air MJ. Wow, you're the air to MJ and that's her. That's literally your name on Instagram. Don't worry about Marcus. Don't worry about Marcus going out there trying to make his own name. He's on the new season of the traders, right?

I think he and Lars are both on the traders. I could be wrong. Oh my God. Where did you start? I'm going to start. It wasn't me. I wouldn't trade anywhere. I wouldn't trade anywhere.

I wouldn't trade. No, I have trades, but I'm not a trader. So Lars says, Marcus and I have been dating for like 10 months or so. Like, and it was like a friendship that like involved into more like. And it wasn't like, oh, let's set the internet and fire is more like, let's make everyone on the internet like care about us like. And so like, let's just like get together like, yeah, like we didn't do it

because like we wanted to be famous on the internet, we're famous on the internet. And that's why the internet went like crazy over it. I mean, they're like going crazy over us. People are like, what's the deal with you guys like? And I'm like, I'm just like dating like my husband's coworker's son, like, that's all, like, so I was kind of hesitant like, but I feel like the more time we spent together in Miami, like, I was like, this isn't just a guy. This is like, I feel like my guy like, it's like I like. I was dating Scotty Pippin' like, but there was someone more famous on Scottie's team

like, and I realized I could just date that person's son like. So they're joking that Marcus knows the drill. He knows how to take the pictures for the gram, because he does, you know? And he says, like, wait, do you do like she likes it? We get down on one man and take it from under. And he's like, yeah, I'll get down on the knee. I'll hide behind the tree if I have to. Whatever she wants.

And Lars is like, yeah. And like I keep thinking he's proposing, but he's just like taking a picture. It's hilarious. All I do is laugh like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, Marcus knew that what he was like setting up for also, and he knew like being with me like won't be easy like, and I don't focus on the haters.

People are always like fucking mad like, and I don't care like, I don't live my life like, worrying like about other people and XYZ like. Yeah, she's like, I don't really worry about what people think about my relationships. We're happy together. And Lisa's like, well, I'll tell you this much. I miss having to ring on my finger. And Jody's like, I mean, I just don't like wearing, I don't, what do you say? She kept wearing it. So she kept, she says that she kept her ring from Lenny.

And he's like, yeah, that's cool. I just don't like it when she wears it. Oh, right, right. She's like, yeah, I got it her way. Besides for my middle finger, so I can be like, so I can be like take that Lenny take that Lenny Just poor guy Jody the transitional boyfriend all he does is listen to her bitch about Lenny and get for advice about Lenny I feel kind of bad for T. Lisa needs Heather to bro to come in and so we had a broken con class Purchasing and say okay Lisa I'm afraid the more you talk about Lenny,

Jody does not need to hear that. I understand you're in a beautiful lesbian relationship now. Jody's a man. Okay, revising. Still, my advice stands. What did I say? What did I say? Actually, that advice was kind of not terrible advice

on that show and it's really needed here because Lisa's really bad about it. And so Lisa's like, it's been a year and like Lenny and I still aren't even divorced. And then we see her telling the other ladies about what was going on. It's like, Lenny, he's with a new woman in the house. And the likes he being like, call the police. Hahaha, call 911.

So, police is like, yeah, it's getting uglier by the day because I'm not contesting the prenup and like, I guess people sign prenups, but a lot of things happened over 15 years. Like, should I have been smarter? Yeah, it's like, but haven't I been heard enough? I haven't been embarrassing humiliated in front of the world, huh? So she's like I just like the ring who cares? It's just a piece of jewelry This is yeah, I'm gonna take the rest of this where this came from you motherfucker

Okay, it's not just a ring stop talking about Lenny my god and by the way I'm not saying she should totally be over Lenny. I'm just like, you're really overdoing it in front of the new guy. Yeah. So like, Jody, do you ever get sick of the whole Lenny conversation? Because we all are kind of like it's a little sick of it. Like Jody's like, yeah, I mean, you know, a like what kind of guy would you be if you can't be supportive

when your girl is going to something like that, sorry. And he's like, yeah, like I've really been leaning on him, maybe too much, maybe too much. Like it is weird, I guess, when we have sex and I go, let me, let me. I mean, he's been going through it

and worse too and he's from Canada. So there's that. And he's like, yeah, I'm looking forward to a day where it's not really a conversation anymore. And sorry, sorry. And Lisa, like he's patient, I'm a lot. Jetticus, you're a lot of good stuff. Sorry, was that a little bit too mean for you, Lisa? Lisa, listen, I don't think I've had anyone look at me the way he does. Oh, I love me.

I tell him he's getting the worst of me right now. And I'm like, just you wait. If you like me now, you're gonna love me when all this is all said and done. worst of me right now. And I'm like, just you wait. If you like me now, you're gonna love me when this is all said and done. I mean, right now he treats me like a pack of moles of ice. But I'm like, you just wait. I'm gonna blossom into some poutine for you. Canada. Canada stop.

Just Canada shit. Sorry, it's a little bit inside joke for us. So Lars is like, wow, you found this new guy who looks kind of dead from the lips up. I'm not gonna lie, but at least he's a guy. That's great. And he has a house, which is also great. What about you getting a house? Is it time that we can start going to like look for houses like? And Lisa's like, no, I want to stay in my house. I'm just like, oh geez, okay.

So then we go over to Anthony. And they are, Anthony and Nicole are in a new house because they sold their last house for $97 trillion, which is pretty huge. Pretty huge, my amine. Trillion, yeah. Trillion. And so now they have this new one.

And Anthony's like, we can keep the kitchen. I got an idea of what to do. We can make this stone. And Nicole's like, so is keep the kitchen. I got an idea of what to do. We can make this stone. And it calls like, so is this someone where we could just like maybe like live and not have to try and sell? Yeah, there's no such thing as a forever home on the real house.

So as if the Debrose got rid of their house, that means no house is in a forever house. Sorry. So they got this new house. it's six beds, six bath, and it's like obviously so expensive. And Nicole says that they sold their old house, and she goes, so we've been like staying on Fisher Island, and like that's been our vacation home

for the past couple of years, my vacation home. No. What? You guys lived around the block. What are you talking about? That'd be me being like, well, I live in Hollywood, but my vacation homes in West Hollywood. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

To so rich and so forth. You know, I still think it's fishy because, and now it's not really fishy because they did sell that house for so much money. So, I don't know if they could do you make it. And I know he has a huge company too. What does he do? And now it's not really fishy because they did sell that house for so much money. So I don't know if they could do you make it. And I know he has a huge company too. What does he do?

Do you like personal injury? Does something like that? Something fishy. Something fishy. Just next season. He thinks he doesn't. It's, we know, we know, we sniff it out. I love Nicole.

I don't think she's fishy. Anthony is just like a walking, Pike's place market. Fishing. Fishing. I'm sorry. It's all over the place. Yeah, he's a real stalker.

He's fishy, guys. He's nothing makes sense in every scene he's bragging in some way about what he's got. Like every scene is about how much money he has or how much money he's spending. There's just something, I just don't buy it. There he is like b-roll footage from below deck down under. Fish.

Lots of fish. Fish. So, you know, they kind of talk about how amazing their house is and the producers ask her about the merit when the actual wedding is going to be because she got proposed to and she's like, well, you know, like we've got so much going on, like we've got a new house and then we've got, it's just a lot, so you know,

weddings not on my list anytime soon. I love that she has the wealthy version of the Robin Dixon storyline. Like, when you're gonna get married, Robbins is like, well, we need to get a new, like a tankless water need to get a new, like, a tankless water heater in our condo, so right now, batting is off for the moment,

but like with him, they're like, oh, sorry, we just bought like a $45 million house in a very exclusive part of the country. So we're just gonna wait a little bit. So, Gerdy comes over and she's like, oh my god, look at this. Like, what is this satir down? This is amazing.

What an amazing place. Like, she's not even that impressed with the place. She's never even here because she's like, it's a satir down, whatever, codify. codify. I mean, this is situated on the corner lot, of course. So on the bay, of course, like you, you can tell, this is like a major money honey.

It's like already pre-gotified. Okay. So the house is 10,500 square feet as per Anthony and has a 15 car garage downstairs, which is wild and Gryder's like, this is Miami. It's gratified. It's a Miami house right now and they go outside and they're like, oh my God, look at this view.

This is what sold me. Now I have to say, this is obviously luxury living, Fisher Island, I know what I know is that Fisher Island, Star Island, those like, there's not a lot of room for houses. So those houses are so expensive, but I have to say, as far as what we could see on the screen, I thought the view was like, I would never say this is the view that sold me.

It's just like a view across the water towards other houses. Am I right? Am I being... Well, it's an acre on the water. That's nice. Yeah, that's nice. That's the... I'm just saying the view.

I felt the view. I would like better evidence of there being a nice view because I was not totally sold on the view. I just looked at the view of the house. You know what I mean? I didn't really look at the water because to me it just looks very busy because it's a very popular busy area and so I just hear, whoa! And the yachts passing by, drunk people hanging off like in Grand Theft Auto, you know, because everyone on this show is

kind of like an extra from Grand Theft Auto. So just ridiculous cartoons, dropping money, acting like complete fucking insanity the whole time. So I just feel like you don't want a house open to the water there because it's just constant. Woo's. I, so here's my thing. I've only been to Miami once. That was back December of last year. And I loved it. Like I could not believe how much I love Miami. I fell in love with the city, but I was only in South Beach, by the way, I should also say.

But also my experience in Miami was just bumper to bumper traffic, like cars did not move. Like you were just sitting there. Now apparently, because it was art Basel time, that's contributed to it, but I'm like, enjoy your 15 car garage that no one can access, because they're stuck in traffic all over South Beach. So, come on.

Oh, yeah. Miami's in the same place. Beautiful, colorful city. They show it off really well in this show, for sure. I really, okay, I feel good about myself. I feel like I've torn down there. They're amazing. Yeah, it was enough that I can live with myself.

And I'm like, well, guess I can deal with this condo now. We get another found fault in our 19 trillion dollar home. Now that I've found fault with their very amazing view and their huge garage, I feel like I'm okay with my decisions in life. I can go on. Yeah, we can finish today. We did. So they start gossiping about the other ladies and what's going on with Martina Which was breast cancer and throat cancer right yeah, so what she says yeah, so

Then Nicole's like well, I talked to large after New York cuz New York was like really bad And then we see yeah, cuz you like slept with every doctor and you know, who's a bitch Anthony? He's a bitch. That's it. Anthony's a bitch like. And then we cut back in the car. And Nicole's like, like we could both agree that like we said things that were not nice. So that was good. Speaking of not nice, I've decided that I'm in a feud with Larsa. So then we see Larsa and Lisa back on the yacht and Larsa's like,

like, I'm like in a good place with Nicole, like, and like, I want to move forward with her, like, but like, I don't understand the gritty thing, like, how she taught, like, like I'm like in a good place with Nicole Lake and like I want to move forward with her like, but like I don't understand the goody thing like, like how she taught like she's talking shit about me like, and I've been like nothing but nicer like, at least it's like, what happened to Gurdie? I don't even know. Well, let's do a flashback to page six podcasts, and then we see our friend Danny Murphy, we love Danny, and he's interviewing Gurdion's podcast, and Danny asks who is the fakes housewife of them all. Would like if there's anything you know about me, like is it fake? Because of course he answers Larsa.

And Larsa is answering this, looking completely insane, because it's Miami, so everyone's got 20 faces by the time we get to this season, but especially Larsa. I mean, really, Larsa looks nothing, like even Larsa from last year, like who even is this and she's like, yeah, do you think that name one thing about me just makes you even think? You can't even talk!

You sound like you're talking through a straw. You can't go in your candles, okay? You've done that. You became famous, well after Pippin' from the show, you became like famous famous from being following around the Kardashians for how many years, and then now you're with Michael Jordan's son. Come on, Larza.

Larza is fake. We fake. I don't like not even like what? It's not even nice. I don't like this. What about me, you speak. She's literally 50% synthetic material. You can't be outside in the summertime.

Oh my goodness. Open flame you can't be outside in the summer time My goodness, so would you save a price screamed over you as usual? I don't I think I said the same things. She is 50% synthetic material Which by the way go and enjoy it, but then she's like I am like the least fake person that you'd ever meet I'm like So he is more natural than you. Who's Ray on? So at least, at least it's like, you say exactly how you feel and that's it. And she goes, yeah, like, what have I done to her besides like me supporting her like and me being there for her like, and me showing up like to her charity event like, okay, you know, congratulations. I'm going to somebody's charity event

that was filmed for television on a show that you were on. Also, didn't you start a huge fight at her charity event and kind of ruined the whole thing? Wasn't that the thing last year? Was that a different charity event? I can't honestly, I cannot remember. Sonicle says, you haven't talked to Larsis in satire's message and Garty goes, no, I don't have time for that. I have like so much other shit to do. Like, I'd

big a fish to frickin' fry. Like, I literally bought a gripper and I had to put into a deep fry estimate. I don't even know how to do it. And like, I'm so defocused right now. I'm so defocused. I couldn't even focus on the right word for unfocused. So then we find out that Gerdy has been to the gyno, and she got a call, and they said that she needs to have a biopsy and she, that's, you know, very worrisome also because we know just from reading the goss what's going on. It's a, yeah.

It's a little like you start to feel this like, oh no, like something real is about to happen on the show. Yeah. So, herty is like, oh, I'm just like, she's worried and Nicole's like, listen, Nicole comes in like Dr. Nicole now and she's like, you know, at just like, she's worried and Nicole's like, listen. Nicole comes in like Dr. Nicole now, which is like, you know, the dance if your breasts can change, it could be five-broid, Adinoma, or something like that,

it could be anything. Don't think worst-case scenario. And you just sort of like, get a pit in your stomach cause you're like, oh god, this is so scary for her. So then we go to some parrots. Some parrots in a cage, and we see Marcina and Julia at home. And Marcina's like, Julia, you got a diaper for the goat? You have a, she's like, I got diaper for goat.

God gets diaper. We need the whole. I got suspenders for diaper for God. So they're trying to put this diaper on the goat. And Marcina's like, oh, how is this supposed this diaper on the goat. And Martina is like, Oh, how is this supposed to fit on the goal, honey? It's like, I was not very successful at it last night with Elvis. She's like, oh, you can't use this on a goat.

And she goes, what is the difference between goat, dog, and peacle? And then she puts this diaper around the goat, this new baby goat named Boris. So I have to imagine it's named after Boris Becker. So I can't tell it's had a compliment because they're calling a goat Boris Becker because he's like, the guy, or is it just Marchina? Being like, fuck Boris!

Name it my stupid bad after him. How do you like that now, Boris? But they put this diaper on, but like, they don't, Julia doesn't put it around the goat's butt, so it's just basically its butt is exposed. And of course, it starts shooting out, essentially co-gopoffs from its asshole.

I didn't know that goat's poop to like those little rabbit pellets. Neither did I. I was surprised. Yeah, the goat did. And goats really look at you like, fuck off. Like they have this look in their eye, you know, they just look at you like,

oh suck it, you know, well it shoots out these little dots everywhere. And yeah, like, it sounds like Eric Hasein trying to warm up. Oh, I'm gonna fuck. Commissions, here comes one right now. By the way, there's this thing that Bravo con for Eric Agin. I'm guessing it's part of her show, but it's called Pat the Puss and it's attending

the morning. I mean, that's Bravo, Bravo hates her. Well, it's a good time to pat the post, I imagine. Why not? Is there a bad time to pat the post? I don't think so. Little little, just ericist shows, you know. Well, I don't get the fuck.

It's like 10 in the morning. People are just dragging themselves. My post is like a pass on. You want to refill on that D-Caf? Okay. Who wants to call you? Anybody want to hear about post is taking like time bombs at 10 in the morning? My pus is like a pancake, ball some syrup, I don't wanna eat some freeing shows, welcome to the path of the pussy buffet.

I will never ever ever. I will die. I will be on my deathbed and think of that lyric. My pussy is like a python tick-tickin like a time bomb. I just love that. I's, I, what I love- What the fuck was that pussy? Watch out! Stop, away from the bomb, Eddie. It's a python that ate a time bomb. A python which is normally associated with the penis, but eight of time bomb and it's her pussy.

I know that I love, I love a coherent metaphor. You know that I back away from this bank. I just put up a Bomb inside the box. I thought it's about to explode look my pussy Here's what I did. I want spread eagle in the bank and I attracted a path on into in the path of the time I'm so give me a minute Everyone blows up Okay, so Martina's like oh my god, it's just going poop. Jesus Christ Julia. I'm hungry and you can't even make me fool because you're cleaning goat poop.

What are you making me? I'm hungry. I keep losing weight. I don't want to lose more weight. Feed me Julia. Yeah, and so they they start talking about Julia Julius starts talking about how, you know, Martina had throat cancer and breast cancer and they beat it by going, you know, they took every day as they can, they had one day at a time, step by step, three's company, Mr. Belvedere,

perfect strangers. Hey man, I worked work that in anything. Hey, man, thank God we've got family ties. I'm staying with her through. No, I'm so glad. This was when it was revealed when Martina's diagnosis revealed. I was like really upset. So I'm glad that I'll work that out obviously.

And so Martina, so Julia starts making a smoothie and Julia tells us after so many years couples sometimes lose that special touch or as I like to call it good and they forget we lost our good but we found them three doors down so then we get to the gossip and say, I can babe Julia, where is that from? She's, oh, let's

like a nice little olive branch. I wish there was an olive branch here so I could pick an olive off of it and eat it because I'm starving to death. My post is like a power gun. The guts just going off in the middle of all this. Yeah. Yeah. The goat is screaming. And Martina's like, oh, wait, I'm sorry. The goat's whaling. And Martina's like, OK, go.

I think I'm going to test the waters with Alexia. And she tells us, I don't hold grudges. In New York, Alexia came to me and apologized she was really showing an effort and checking on Martina her actions shot me she want to make things right This goat is this goat is like real Boris becker annoying and won't get out of my face Fuck you Boris Feed me before each or god damn god So Julia's like she's like what?

She's like when does that fucking boss? The question that I asked about Boris's entire career and I ask again now, when do we put him outside? So Julia's like, Boris will go outside after you eat your soup. This goes as spamming at the door, welling at the top of his lungs. Martin is like, really? Yes, you eat soap, pick a soap, you eat. So then we go to Lisa and Jody, and she's like getting glam, and she's talking to Jody. I guess on Facebook or something, and she's on FaceBook. She's like, yeah, and no, this isn't spam.

No, it's me. No, I wasn't hacked. Face time. Face time. And he's like, so how are you feeling, eh? And she goes, have I been in a, have I been deposed before or probably because Lenny has all these lawsuits, but it's those, but this time it's about me

and not somebody else. And I shouldn't be nervous, but these lawyers can be assholes. And they think, you know, but it's those, but this time it's about me and not somebody else. And I shouldn't be nervous, but these lawyers can be assholes. And they think, you know, they, they ask all these asshole questions and try to mess you up, you know? You know what I'm saying, Jody? He's like, no, not really. I'm just going to smile and be nice for you. Huh? I'm excited for you, huh? You're like, you know, what's going to happen? He's going to ask questions that make you try to cry or like lie or something or embarrass you. And the producers like, so if you have to go to like lie or something or embarrass you.

And the producers like, so if you have to go to trial, what could that mean? And she's like, aw, yeah, we don't want to go on trial, but you know what I'm confessing to pre-naughts, you never know. And she says, you're putting your life in the hands of a judge, you know? Like, and how does he get to walk away, living his beautiful life, having everything we built together? This thing is so unfair. It's called a prenup. So, but I mean, Lennie's an asshole, and she's right,

but it's the prenup. So, then she goes to the courthouse, God, I would love to see inside of Miami Courthouse. I feel like the, they're like, all rise for the judge, and it's like that Maracas are playing, and like, streamers come out, and there's probably just like the lights are flashing.

I just feel like Miami courthouses are just like so exciting and like lavish and and fun. People I think people are just like snorting cut. I feel like the judge is like, all right, courts and session motherfuckers. Just wearing like a white blazer with like a pink D shirt. They just start playing the Miami vise theme. So we see her good accord and the lawyer, she's like, I got it, how long do I have to pee here? He's like, probably all day. She's so great. So she goes in and then we see slow motion

walking, somebody in an orange dress. And then we see slow motion bartending. A lady's like and then we see someone else slow motion walking and a tie-dye dress. I was like how long is this actual episode? Is this episode only two, two songs in many footage? Yeah, it's mostly stock footage. So this is, so it's basically Marisol, Minneapolis, Alexia, at a beach sidebar. This is one of many scenes this episode, by the way, where they film at a bar restaurant and clearly the establishment does not get

a fuck because they refuse to turn off their music. So like, I feel like half these scenes, you hear the music playing, you hear like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, while they're talking. They're like, at like Starbucks, like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, ch-ch-ch, ch-ch-ch, ch-ch-ch, because that's like what Miami is like. There's always like a beat, and they were like,

um, hi, we're filming a reality show. Do you mind, like, just turning off your music so we get clean audio? They're like, no, we're not gonna do that. So... And like, but, um, we're not gonna do that. So. But we have to because we don't have the rights to play this music, you do.

It's all royalty free. Like at this point, we just play. And it's just funny, because it's, because there's this background music, they have to like really clip the audio like as tightly as possible. So we don't get this extra music in the background so every time they speak to like,

hi how are you? Good, how are you? Good to see you. Well, they're on a beach and Mary-Saw comes up to a lake and she has, oh, lake thing, I'm so, but I'm a thing. We know Mary-Saw. We know, baby.

Your boobs are, your boobs are bouncing. Oh, cuz Kiki comes in and she joins them. Like, your boobs, Kiki. So Kiki, so Mary's soul says, Kiki's known for popping a boob out here in there in Lex. You like to have her out. So I just wanted to bring a fresh new Mary mayor soul just for a day and a little titty action because I Wake up in a turtle neck normally and here I brought my I'm like, oh my prop cases God, I was gonna bring a turtle neck out to put show the people

But some of our prop dress are that is painted on top of my breasts It's hall area's so yeah, she's got little boobies are that is painted on top of my breasts. And it's holiday-ary-house. So yeah, she's got little boobies painted onto her dress. And so then they do a cheers, because Alexia loves a cheers. She's Alexia loves, she does it like a million times just in this episode. She's like, let's make a cheers.

To friendship. Wait, do it again, we'll make it more accurate. Say it again. Let's make a cheers. To, to, to, to. To, to, to, we'll make it more accurate. Say it again. Let's make it cheers. Let's make it cheers. Let's make it cheers. Let's make it cheers. Let's make it for for for. Okay, I'm going to make everyone go crazy. So I'll stop doing that. So, uh, then rehearsal goes and the cockies, and the cocky is poor side, and Kiki goes,

and many cocks and big feet. Mary's also like, wait, why? You want cocks? I'm getting cocks. You can never have too many cocks, especially living in Miami, right? And like she goes, ooh. I mean, I'm always gonna try to get different cocks.

I mean, why not? I'm a strong believer in living life to the fullest. So please, let me live all the cocks except for both people. No bald cocks, no. And this is, that's the extent. Oh no, no, it's not the extent of Kiki's personality. We have more. So they're like, oh, you're talking about grinning cock.

Well, that's good. I mean, I get you're dating and Mary is so like, yeah, you're talking about grinning, can't, well that's good. I mean, I guess you're dating and Mary is so, it's like, yeah, you wore horny, right? Just, I'm so horny, I had six vibrators. You need many, many at a time. One ear in my ear, one in my ear, one in my nose, one in my boobs, one in my armpit, one in my butt, one in my knees, one in my legs.

Okay, I'm done with a personality. You talk about yourselves now. I'm just imagining Kiki at home, just like under a pile of vibrators, they're all on. She's just having a vibrator or G. Good for her, by the way. That's a good for her at the moment.

So Alexis, like six vibrators just means you have a problem remembering where shit is. You know what I mean? Like you just keep losing it. It's like I have multiple fire stick remotes because I can't lose it. Man. I feel like with six vibrators at that point,

you should just go the sharper image and get a massage chair. So, Alexia is like, oh well, you know what? Like I've done like a lot of self-reflection and I think that told me a lot. And like Todd, like you know, I told him done a lot of self-reflection, and I think that told me a lot. And I told them how sad and upset I was about what happened in New York and how the audience hates me, so I just had to change. And so I want to hold myself accountable and get all the girls together, get this new

horizons. Do you have a horizontal? Is it horizontal? I think he's like, I'm so proud of you for that. I set on a penis. What? Wait, I'm sorry. Is it my line? And Alexi is like, yeah, enough time has passed by so I'm gonna host a party for all of you. And they're like, wow! So Kiki's like, uh, Nuevo, what? What is that Spanish?

Yes, yes, it's Spanish. So is Adriana invited? And there's a big long pause and Alexia is just looking around. She's like, No, truthfully, I'm not there with her yet. So Only Alexia would have a new arises party and leave people out for most people. Yeah, so Alexia is like, you know, I've been willing to forgive him, like kind of forget what Adriana said, but like then after learning Adriana after New York afterwards, she went on like a press tour. And then we see all these headlines of all the shit that Adriana stirred up says, did anyone care? Oh no, these are the clips of Adriana being like, did anyone care that my foot almost got broken into a thousand pieces? And then Alexia is saying,

who was an accident? It could have happened to anyone. Is she going, but accidents have consequences. You'll know with Frankie. And then she'll not bring on Frankie. And yeah, this is where I finally noticed her jacket. I said, her jacket looks like someone's holding the shoulder and she's moving away as it's being pulled off.

Ha ha ha ha. So Kiki's like, well, but it's a new horizon. I was thinking that maybe we all get one more chance and then if they fuck up and Marisol's like, well, sparing yourself, I'm not open to it. So you can forget it, okay? Cause Adriana, she cut me to the bone. She cut right through this scandalous titty dress right to the bone. And it was a really bad situation.

Instead of making it better, she came with a letter to my liver. She got to make the verse. This is hilarious. And it's so sad that Mary Soul is so lame. She has no sense of humor, okay? So first we see the clip of why she's mad and it's Adrian going, your boyfriend hit me up and you know what he said? I was never in love with Marisol, which, hello, well, and then when she said she wrote a letter to my lover, this was the best thing I've ever seen on housewives and I've seen a lot of housewives,

then we see Andy reading it. Dear Adrianna, I'm writing to tell you, I'm being abduced. She might kill me in the end, sincerely. Marry Sol's liver. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If I gone away, I'm still here personally. I feel like I'm here. What happened? You were frozen and I got a spinning wheel. Oh, you know why? I was being held hostage and I was afraid I might get killed.

Signed Marisol's liver. Marisol's liver caused a spinning wheel. Oh yeah, you better not come in the end that's where these hostage is. I'm gonna blow up this python with a bomb and it was my pussy. By the way, to be fair, the Erica Jane Lyric, if we're gonna be accurate, is my kiddie's like a python. So you're right.

Just one thing. I know there's some people, there's some purists out there that are a little upset. Marisol's like, I'm super little. You can't be a purist, don't listen to this show. Cause guess what we get wrong literally everything and you know what's so sad is this this recap alone I'm trying to see how many pages 21 pages rom page 9 of 21 there's a lot of notes that we take on this show I still get half of it wrong

Oh yeah we get everything wrong this is not the New York Times okay this is not any this is not the New York Times. Okay, this is not any, this is not the Wall Street Journal. This is not a established journalism source. This is the two Geefballs talking on Zoom. Okay. Hello, you have reached the end of part one of this recap. Come back later for part two. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Saboney, she don't take no baloney. Strong in the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-O-Ls! Aaron McNickles, she don't miss No Trick-O-Ls.

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