Watch What Crappens - #2212 RHOM Part Two: Event Horizon

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Real Housewives of Miami is back for season 6 and Alexia throws a New Horizons party to get the cast (and audience) back on her side after she went too far at the reunion and Todd recorded a seven cycle apology to Anthony on Instagram. There’s laughter, tears, and a very cute wailing goat. This is part 2 of a 2 part episode! This week’s bonus episode is a ranking of the most reasonable phobias. Why? We have no idea. Enjoy! Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensGet all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how a Prince without direction became a duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a bad guy. I've been spread this so much that it's happened. Hello and welcome to a recap already in progress. This is part two. If you missed part one, go listen to part one. What are you doing? Thanks for being here. So now we go to the courthouse, Lisa is emerging with confetti in her hair. She's like, oh my god, what a hearing. And she's like, well, that was exhausting, but fairly painless,

like all my sexual experiences with Lenny. But I told the truth, unlike my sexual experiences with Lenny. Yeah, Lisa. So the lawyer is like, no matter what what we both have it in our heads that while we're really doing this for is for the children Yeah, yeah, all right. All right. Good to see you. Bye I don't I'm like the lyrics right now. So she's telling us she's calling Jody and she's talking about everything and she's like When does the fighting and how long am I gonna and she's like, when does the fighting end? How long am I going to have to chase him down for what he owes me? I'm like, it'll be a long, Lenny is loyered up and he is rich and he got you exactly

where he got you exactly where he wanted you years ago. And while he is awful and he is terrible and you deserve definitely more money and more respect and more anything. He unfortunately is in the power position and I doubt this is ever gonna work out well for Lisa. Well, the funny part to me is that she's like, oh, we're doing it for the children in my rack. Good to talk to you, lawyer.

All right, good, if you have anything to donate to my boy, poor, poor child. And then she gets into a show for roles to complain to, to complain to her rich ass boyfriend about the rich ass ex husband And we see the driver just smiling along, you know, I believe the children of future Give them plastic guns and violent video games Mm-hmm and Jody's like well you guys are spent so much money on lawyers

I don't really know they want to spend all those money on lawyers. You guys just agree on something. Yeah, I don't want to do that. You don't pay our lawyers, but they are worth it. I mean, I think Lenny's going to pay for it. And I just got a really good hug off that guy. Really good. And then Lenny calls right when Lisa's in the middle of her interview.

And she's like, okay, how the, hey, Lenny, can you please then mummy those things, those quote unquote things? Can you just do it? You gotta do it. You gotta do it. You gotta do it. Can you do it? Can you do it?

Well, he hung up, okay. So, Jody's like, a mistress and a wife is expensive. I don't know if Jody's just doing lines off the dresser during this call, but this just funny. So Julia, slow mo walks. After goal. Into a building, a bright pink building with, um, pink butterflies glued to it. And it's called the Astra Shop and Garden.

Yes. And Julia meets, she meets up with Alexia at a bar. And Julia is like, oh, so great to have moment alone away from God and parrot. I am genuinely happy to see you, even though you call me Russian Hooker. Thank you for reaching out to me when I was in Paris, checking in on Martinez Health. Thank you. So, Alexia basically reached out and we've got the classic two housewives that hate each other, but are trying to reset for a season.

So they have one lunch together and are going to pretend to be friends for about a month. Exactly. This is the Tamarang-Rachan thing, you know, yeah. So I was like, oh well, I'm happier here, because I've always wanted to do this with you, but it really means a lot. I've always wanted to be friends with you, and I feel like we've got a great friendship, but there was someone, I'm not gonna say who,

but like she deviled sort of got in the way, but I always wanted to be friends with you, not my fault, not my fault, but not friends. Yeah, I've been self-reflecting and look how you do it. Look, I'm looking in my hand, I see myself. How do you see yourself in skin? I don't know, but I'm learning. It's new. It's new me. It's a new me.

So they start gossiping. And she'll be like, did you hear about what a Cardi B said about Larsa? And she's like, Cardi B is talking about Larsa? That's huge. Ha ha ha. She's not proud of, she's proud of Larsa if you can talk about my cardi B. She's on

Cardi B's radar. You know that Alexis, he'd be like, well I saw Cardi B going to the bathroom and she has like, well she has like a big vagina. I'm like, oh gosh. So Cardi B, we see what Cardi says and she said, Larsa Pippin, Cardi Blast Larsa Pippen over claims she had sex four times a day. Bitch, stitch your pussy up. So Julia's like, basically, Cardi B caught her there for saying she has sex four times a night. Yes. And Lexi's like, oh well, you know, like if Cardi B is not having sex four times a night,

I don't think Larsa is. I love to talk about sex. And Alex, Alex, he's like, oh yeah, we're taught. I'm always talking about sex and penis. He's like, I've never met a woman who's talked so much about penis. Yeah, sex. I love sex. I love sex. I love sex so much. Like, it's crazy. I love sex with Todd. It's hard to be a once-to-way in about how much I love sex. Like, I'm open to that. Like, just how much, like, music brings people together. Like sex and penis bring women together. And I think that's like we're going the right direction.

Cardi B brings women together. I think that's the lesson here. Let's make a cheers. So they're cheers. And Alexia is like, you know, I'm just happy to be having drinks with Julia because like, I don't want to blame Ariana for this, but like, I think Ariana influenced her. So now they start getting down to talking. Yeah, Alexia is like, you know, like, believe me, like I've always wanted to be friends.

I just want to reiterate that like, I was an innocent victim to Adriana getting in the way of our friendship. And like when we're alone together, we're good, but like in a group, like, I'm like, what happened? I'm like, why are we doing this? Oh wait hold on one second. Here's what happened. Sometimes in life friends get in the way of what the Oh God, that's releasing a statement on my behalf. Hold on hold on. Let me release a comment on this statement.

Da da da, shada, an easier penis. What the world needs now is penis, sweet penis. I love to talk about penis. So Julia's like, I just want to look at life like let's have some fun now, right? Because I don't want. He said, she said, they said, we said, God said, everybody saying things. I just want to be naughty

You want to talk about penis? I love to talk about penis with you. Let's talk penis So with that all being said and by with that all being said nothing we said but that all being said I Decide to bring the girls together for God. No can God come together to No, then is it really coming together? Okay, let me just say it to bring the girls together. For God? No. Can God come together too? No. Then is it really coming together? Okay, let me just say it. We're going to have a Neuvos horizontal party. With Neuhorizans.

Neu God. Neuhorizans. Got Ryzen? No. Horizons. Horizons. But I'm anti-mobiles. I'm anti-mobiles.

What's the matter, Neu? Say it again, I'm so sorry. I'm anti-mobiles. I'm not the marbles. What's the matter? Marble. I said again, I'm so sorry. I'm on the mobile. I'm not for Ison. Are we doing this with all the girls? And she's like, I can't because I'm fighting Marisol and Steve. And I can I can't have Adriana there. And she's like, well, I have to respect you.

But I also will tell you what I think. Pines. No. Well, I have to respect you, but I also will tell you what I think. Pymus? No. But you are calling it no horizon, which is great, and one single girl is not invited. It's going to create some kind of tension and bitter taste in the mouth, and I understand if Mary Sol want to be happy and that's your best friend. But... I don't like that her best friend Maryson is putting her in emotional blackmail

the only blackmailer like is good blackmail doesn't make sense I apologize if I may say I get so excited but I think about good so I just want everything to be good so if I may say to have to choose it's not fair. It's like something are up for failure. It's not right So Julie's like well, then why don't you if it is married so with problem? Why don't you have Mary so decide? I was like wow great plan because Mary so it's gonna say no I sir out of course, no, no, she's saying, look, I'm inviting Adriana.

If you wanna come, it's up to you if you wanna come. I swear you're saying, thank you. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. So I was like, no, let Mary so decide shit. Okay, Mary so still a friend of, but man, I just see. Lexi is like, well, I just don't trust her. And like, I don't know how she, how it's gonna go. And I don't want to have it in my home again.

And I don't want to have it in my home again. And I don't want to have it in my home again. And I really want to be in a good place with her. And I promise you I'm going to have a conversation with her just her and I. And then all of a sudden, the screen freezes and it goes 24 hours later. Alexia in a white chocolate chuchu hat. Not really sure what Alexia was doing,

but she went to lunch dressed like the captain of a chucho train in, I don't know, like a white, I don't know, the best way to describe it, a white chocolate choo choo train. So since Marisol... Self-reflect. Self-reflect. Let's make it. Cheers. So Marisol has no props this episode. Marisol does not have, she doesn't have a sparkly, like,

you know, vessel that she's drinking, you know, there's no bit of asshole things that she's drinking out of. No props, but that's maybe why Adriana's like, this is my chance. So Adriana comes in with a giant white flag, she waves in the restaurant, and she's wearing an outfit that has peace symbols on it to say that she's coming to her house.

She's simple over one boob and a heart over the other boob. Peace and love, baby. So funny. So Alexia is not abused at this. And Adriana is like, how all my friend? And by the way, this is a huge flag. It's not just some little fly. It's like, this is way men.

This is way men. She comes right up to the table and just keeps away. We can get around knocking over other people's glasses on their tables, you know. And Alexie is like, what is that? And she goes, you know, when people are in the war, they have a white flag. And she goes, I've never been in a war. She goes, no, like historically. Why do you have to show up with a prop?

Like, you think that makes it better? I'm like, no, Alexie, your best friends with the prop, your best friends with this show's answer to Carrotop. So don't act like suddenly, you don't like props. No kidding, and you're constantly going everywhere with the prop. Her name is Mary Saul. Hey, I thought you were going to talk about me.

You know, sometimes in life, we have props to help us up, but we also have crutches, and it's not fair, and TV made me do it signed Todd So Adriana tells us I put in a lot of time in Afer and to putting in the right outfit together because I want to give the message right away Because I'm all about peace and love and ceasefire, baby So I have to admit every time when these ladies came on, I gave a little cheer. I was so excited to see every one. They're also good.

Especially Adrianna. I'm like, they're as an asshole, yes, but God, she's funny. They're so good. Even Marisol, we talked so much about Marisol, but this cast is just perfection. So Alex is like, oh, well, I wasn't really ready to be here today, but I'm really making effort because I wanted to be in a good place. And last time we saw each other was in New York and we both had said hurtful things to each other.

And we were going to work on not doing that anymore. And but then in New York, you went on a press tour and you bashed everyone. Yeah. You bashed my family. And so had you ran and goes, well, you posted an Instagram naming me first. And then we see this big long post that Alexi made. I did not screenshot the whole thing

because I was like, this is gonna already be 20 hours. But the main line that's highlighted is for anyone to use Frankie's accident to compare or connect our level of pain and suffering to what Frankie is endured is wrong, especially when referring to an all-caps fake injury. And so we cut back and Alexi is like, um, come on, what's your injury authentic? Hmm? If you're not saying yes, it was.

Alexi was like, so you're going to compare our bruise with the permanent brain injury and she's like, no, I'm not, I'm not, I can't believe you've even said that, because no, I'm not here to add insult to injury. I'm like, maybe she's a better phrase right now. She literally said insult to injury. You know, in the 13 years we've known each other, I've never once said anything to specifically hurt you. Only to tangentially hurt you.

This general hurt. I've just called it a general hurt. Unintention general hurt. I've just got a general hurt. Unintentional hurt. Blunt pain, okay? Not specific pain. So Alexi is like, but in the past few months you have, and when you're in a good place with somebody, you don't say the things that you've said about me.

As you just, I agree. I agree, because sometimes you're blamed for things that other people did, and you kinda went with it, and it wasn't, okay, look, we're not gonna talk about Mary's soul right now, went with it and it wasn't okay look. We're not going to talk about Mary's soul right now because that but that wasn't your battle. And then we see the clip about Terry and Alexi is like yeah, we need to talk about Terry. Yeah, they somehow like get diverted on to Terry talking and they talk about the sky

Terry for people who don't remember Terry was the doctor that Adriana was seeing and then Alexia thought that he was already married, because she didn't remember to scroll down and see that he actually got undivorced. And then, but then they went to Nicole's engagement party and then Terry sort of snapped at Alexia and Alexia responded. So then we come back to present,

and basically Adriana was like, I didn't like how we treated you. And that's like all Alexia needed to hear, becauseana was like, I didn't like how we treated you. And that's like all Alexa needed to hear. Because she's like, thank you, thank you. You know, that's nice. Cause I helped you. In that case, I actually helped you. I let you see that he's a terrible man.

He's a terrible man who is maybe married. And she's like, yes. And maybe you helped me after all. And so Lexi is like, yes, thank you for focusing on the good instead of the bad. And so she's like, I've always respected you. and Lexi says, yeah, like I don't even know where any of this is coming from. So I accused you of being with a married guy. What?

And then they do the thing that I love. I love some housewives melodrama because then Lexi is like, I'm human. You cut me. I'm going to bleed. She's like starting to choke herself up over this huge soap opera moment. And they start holding their hold hands. And Adriana is like, I respect you, OK. And she goes, Me too, I respect you so much. And my lover meant to hurt you.

And so now that we're in a good place, I'd like to invite you. Hold on, let's make a cheers. I'd like to invite you to the web. What is on party? And so Adriana claps, because that's what she's been going for Hold on, let's make a cheers. I'd like to invite you to the web. What is on party? And so Adriana claps, because that's what she's been going for this whole time, you know? Yeah.

And so Alexi goes, I'm glad that Ariana, after 13, Adriana, after 13 years, is finally telling the truth. It's all just said like one line about, by the way, thanks, I didn't like how we treated you. And she's like, oh, good, I can hang everything on that. You're forgiven. So she tells us, I don't know how Mary Sol's gonna feel

about this, but I'll worry about that later. And then it says later, two days. I love ghost later. Now it's later. So Alexia is in glam for her party. Oh God, I'm just remembering. It's so funny because like write this stuff down, but it's sort of like a haze

because you're writing to me notes. And then as we go through it now, you start to remember these scenes. And I'm just already laughing because I remember this. So she's FaceTiming Marisol, who's their both-in-glam getting ready for this big party. And Alexia's like, oh well, you know, like I know we talk about like everything. And like, I forgot I didn't have a chance to tell you over the past 48 hours when I was doing nothing. That by the way, Adriana's coming. And like we had lunch and like she knows about the party and she's like gonna come. So, surprise. And she's very so a customary so who looks like she's being viewed from a fish

eye lens, you know, she's just like, she's like gonna write down both his account, just not reacting. And she's got those two papers on her under eyes that flutter because I think they're from what guards you. I think they're what guards you from your eye makeup getting on your face while you're doing your eye. Anyway, they'll start fluttering in her, but otherwise her face is just like, so Alex, Alexie is like,

so she does know about the party tonight. And Mary still is like, really, I'm already doing my hair and makeup I'm mad in the mood for a lousy And Mara so and then Alex is like Mara so I really need you to beat that Todd didn't want to be here tonight and Mara so goes Why not He just said he doesn't want to be here.

I never want to wait for me. Don't wait for me. He said no. If you cut me to why that bleed. I'm so like I went through shock and anger. I went through all the stages of the grief. Shock anger. Angry that I'm shocked.

Shocked that I'm angry. What else is there? I'm sick of tired of being sick of tired. So one day at a time. Oh! No, it's chords. So, I love Alexia going to the stages of grief because Todd's not coming to the party.

I just thought she's solving her. And Marisol is like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sobs instead some aerosols and that position like no, no, no, no, it's like it is like that scene in soap dish, right? Where they were Robert down in juniors like oh my god I'm gonna get a migraine and then Sally feels like no, no, I'll do it. It's fine. I'll stab. I'll stab my knees up

total manipulation One more one more don't cry with their bum please and so Lexi's like I thought everything was fight but he was like no Let us be like your friends. It's just I'm so shocked. fine, but he was like, no, let it just be like your friends. And she goes, I'm so shocked, honey. I'm sorry. Just, oh, okay. So can you imagine how I feel now? Like, her tears are completely gone. There's no red. There's no white things. She's like, okay, so please don't make it worse because it's already bad, okay? And can you imagine, but not being here and you not being here too? Do you know how that makes me feel? Marcia was like, well, maybe I show up, maybe I don't. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. You know what I mean? Oh wait, there's cameras there. I mean, I'm gonna be there.

You're gonna be there. I mean, what the hell? Well, I got to do. I'm literally hauled a friend of what am I gonna do? Like being that friend's out of coming. And was real of fortune with Steve again? Still doesn't even understand the rules that show. Can you imagine? Steve trying to get a vote for Frank again. All he says is, hey, every single answer, hey, so she's gonna go obviously.

So now we have people driving to the party. We have Kiki Julia and Adriana driving to the party. So Kiki's asking Adriana how her conversation was with Alexia. And of course, Adriana just started talking to you again, like after everything. She's like, you know something about Alexia? It's like, I'm happy that we were able to move onto this point, but like at the same time, I feel like she judges me like she's better. Like, but why would Alexia be without Todd? Like Todd's material things enable Alexia to feel like she's better than some of us. Then she's in a finite, she's just going in on Alexia again for no reason.

She's like his material things make her in a higher level according to her spain words. And Julie's like, I'm not sure about this because before she wants to be the reality husband to be far. And she's like, he wasn't that wealthy. Oh, damn! You're even coming for a dime! It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence comment. Today, hip-hop dominates pop culture. But it wasn't always like that. And to tell the story of how that changed,

I want to take you back to a very special year in rap. 88, it was too much good music. The world was on a roll. It was a great time. And to tell the story of how that changed, I want to take you back to a very special year and wrap. 88 It was too much good music. The world was on fire. I'm Will Smith. This is Class of 88, my new podcast about the moments, albums, and artists that inspired a sonic revolution.

And Secured 1988 is one of hip-hop's most important years. We'll talk to the people who were there, and most of all, we'll bring you some amazing stories. You know what my biggest memory from that tour is? It was your birthday. Yes, and you brought me to Shoday Life Size hard work. This is Class of 88, the story of a year that changed hip hop. Listen to Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the entire series right now on the Amazon Music app or audible. I shall.

So then, Kiki's like, well, the real reason I'm very shocked because Alexia and I had brunch, and I think she was willing to take baby steps with vibrators. Oh, yes. The Marisol is like, if you invite her, I'm not coming. And Julia's like, Well, she's just being mean. Marisol is mean. She is like, bad God.

Bad God who poop on floor, like Boris. Yes, like Boris. So then back to the party. I just want to say to listeners, thank you for listening. I feel like I am an actual lunatic on this show right now. I'm saying like five different voices all at once. They all sound. They're not at the big sense.

This show came with a warning. Okay. And we met it. We met every bit of it. I don't know what we're even doing half the time in this. I'm reading through these notes like what? How are we still doing this? Okay, so we go back to the party. Marcus and Lars are arriving. They everyone saying hi to Frankie. Cute and then Let's see. Let's cut to some of the let's cut to some of the healing. Let's cut to the feeling. Let's do it

So Lisa and Jody come and they're all making small talk. And so then Adriana is talking to Jody and he's like, hi, Adriana. And she's like, oh, you got my mail? Huh, who would have think 10 years later? Lisa's new man lives in my old house. Hmm. Yeah, so she says that she was living in the house

for 10 years with Frederick and Alex her son. And she's like, and those were happy 10 years of our life and we see flashbacks. So like, you know, the before times with Miami and all that. And Jody's like, yeah, listen, I, we're talking about having you over sometimes, sorry. And Adriana's like, well, I had some pretty good sex in that house. Like Lisa's probably lying there looking at the same ceiling that I used to look up to. Yes, honey, more, more, more. This is weird, right?

Jody moved in, Jody owned, Jody bought the house of a real housewife and then happens to also get into a relationship with the real house. Thirsty too. Maybe he's just like, thirst. Maybe it's just like temporary. Maybe he's just like taking care of the house. And so almost like a foster house, like a Jody foster house, you know?

So Adriana is like, I had so much good sex there. And Lars is like, oh my God, is Marisol coming? And like she's like, I don't know. What about Gordy? Is Gordy gonna come? I don't know about anybody And like she's like, I don't know. What about Gordy? Is Gordy gonna come? I don't know about anybody. And she's like, I don't know about Gordy. Because Gordy like hurt me like the fake is like,

like I can't even believe that she like hurt me that like. I love that like, is Gordy gonna come as she's like walking in the door? I'm like, did he even try to tease that out into suspense? So they walk Gordy and Nicole enter and Lars is like, who's fake? Me or you? Because what you're doing right now, so fake.

Because grudy's just like saying hi to people. Like that's a fake, saying hi to people. You're so fake. And she's so excited because she gets to do her first like yelling at somebody seen in front of Marcus. So she starts kind of pulling her hair, you know, like that nervous like pulling her ponytail thing. And then she winks at Marcus and he nods at her,

like you got this babe. Yeah. I wish also mentioned there was like some somewhere in the middle of this at some point. Larsa, Larsa was standing at like a high top with Marcus and Alexia and there was like someone else, a Frankie and it was just the four of them and they were like the first people there. And Larsa was like this is weird. I feel weird. I feel like I'm so far. I've never been this far away from Marcus before, and she literally makes Frankie switch places with her.

So she can stand next to Marcus. I'm like, it's a bit much. My Frankie's like, I love love. Really say, he's like, I love love. So then Lars is telling V-Sets. Hi, Lisa. Like, we saw Lenny the other night, like he was like at a party, like it was on Star Island.

She's like, what? She's like, yeah, I was like on Star Island, like, America's just like, yeah, when we sat down, he got up and changed tables. He changed tables, which table was it? I need to call, I need to talk to that table. So Gerdy is making small talk with Julia and Alexia. And then Larson comes right up and goes,

Hey you, what did you call me fake like? Like I said, that we were like friends like when was it? Every like thing to you like? Because you were being fake to me, you were not good at fine. You're being fake. And I was just like, but how like, oh, the way you were like talking was being very dismissive of me. You were like talking, you were like, you were talking about me.

Yeah, she was like, yeah, like I'm not supposed to have an opinion about anyone's marriage. And then when I was fighting with Alexia, you literally wouldn't let me have a word, you know. And like, she's like, yeah, but like I can look at you, even like, and like I never said anything about you on social media. Period, Russell, period. Because Russell's standing there listening. So period, Russell, that's like the truth that I question like.

To be fair, I mean, Larsa is really fake, but to be fair, Gertie's basis, like her support for her argument is like, not the strongest to me. So Alexia, Well, I think it is because Larsa, when all this was going down, Gertie's like, you need to be a strong woman.

You don't have to take any of this. And Lars says, yeah, maybe like a real friend can give her advice. It was something like that. It was something like she was saying, like, you're not really willing to be giving in it any advice. So I think Gertie's saying, you were being dismissive.

Lars, it was literally like, classes over, you can go now, like. Yeah, I think that like maybe she has a case for a large search is being like rude, but the fake thing I just felt like I just felt like Grady could have done better. So So Alexis like, yeah, she'd like to never say anything about you and critical so she says so she says I'm like wow pulling from the Diana Jenkins book Never gonna work out well. So Larissa goes what does she she mean so she says? Like, what does that mean? I'm telling you to my face.

Like, I'm talking to your face. Like, this is real. Like, this is not fake right now, like. I'm like, we're leaning your face right now, like. And she's like, you're being very aggressive. You need to calm down. She goes, I'm matching your energy though, like, I'm like, matching it, like,

I'm matching your energy though, like. No, you're not. You're not yelling at you. Yeah, exactly. I'm matching yourawning at energy though, like. That's why Z-Law. He's not yelling at you. Yeah. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you.

I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you.

I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you.

I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad, I'm sorry, I'm not about that life, I'm sorry, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, she can call me a bitch like, but fake like, I'm like not fake like at all. And just like looking at her like, hmm, yeah, she's like, okay. She's like, personality wise though, like personality wise. And Gertie's still at the bar talking to anybody, but the person involved. She's like, I can't deal with this. This is too much of a, so then we go to Mary Saul, Hucking Alexia and everybody and she's like, oh my God, I'm in here man, fun, get the fassando, what's going on over there. Yeah, and it's like, oh well, Mary so showed up and Julia's like, oh, I'm surprised

Metasol is here considering that she said she didn't want to be in the same room as Adriana, but now here she is. Like God for separate time. Listen, I said that I don't want to be in the same room as Adriana, but I'm doing this all for bro. Okay. That's why I've been saying bro so much

because this shows back. For two weeks, I've been walking around going, bro. Bro, bro, bro. So now we have like fun times, like partying they're having fun they're joking Did you notice that they started playing like Mario star music like when you catch the star and Mario and I was like They started playing music similar to that and then they turned everybody like sparkling looking Like what are you gonna start just running through the apartment and everybody starts flying off the screen? Like what's happening?

I mean, Miami does kind of feel like Rainbow Road at times. Just like lots of colors. And they're making everything sparkly. And everything's great and exciting, but then all of a sudden you've like fallen off a track and you're like, whoa, my life is really. You're gonna splurge in the face with oil. You're like, wait a minute.

So we then cut to the guys. And Anthony's like, so I bought a 99 speed support. She has 64 miles on it. I put four miles on it. It's got 68 miles now. I had to drive it at least once. I'm like, great story. Congratulations, you bought it. It's got some. So then Nicole has her person on a table and I was like, oh my god, there's a fire like, there's a fire like, like, fire like, there's something that's a fire like, and like, fire like, fire like, fire like, fire like, and it's like, oh my god, that's my brand new purse. It's ostrich. Did you guys ruin it? That's what $6,500. I guess it's not a Miami season until someone's handbag gets destroyed by something.

Last season it was the dog peeing in Lisa's Hermes bag. I know it also can not ostrich like just get a better day. It's like you get shot, then it gets skinned, then it gets turned into a purse and it's getting set on fire., what did this ostrich do? Mm. It obviously was not a good ostrich. Not a good ostrich. It had fat murderers.

This was a murderous ostrich. Fat karma. So Marisol's asking Alexia how she feels and like, I'm not even going to talk about it because like, I'm gonna get emotional because I'm still like in shock that Todd made other plans. So they're like everybody's like, where's Todd? Where's Todd?

Harara. I need a bigger, bigger. So Alexis just keeps saying that she's in shock. Absolutely. But she made her choice. Everybody I would like to make a toast but also a speech for her. So I'm going to make a speech and then a toast. Okay, let me just say one more time. Let's make a toast. Hold on. Hold on. And it just starts a speech.

It just starts reading out for a phone. Alexia and Todd, they apparently do not like off the off the cuff remarks. No, they look really off. You guys do write it down. Write it down. Hold on. Okay, hold on. Let me communicate with people. It's a really enough of a document. Hold on a second. Let me make sure I don't have lips stuck on my teeth. Why are you looking at your hand? I'm self-reflecting. Thank you, Totten.

Goodbye. Okay, I just want to start by thanking everyone for being here tonight. I know the last time. Oh, I guess that's it. You got a scroll, Alexia. Scroll on your phone. Oh, there's more speech. There it is.

There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. But I thought there was more. I thought there was more. So she says that when they were in New York, that it went really, really bad, but now they should all have a new outlook and appreciate each other for the strong women they are.

And look, everyone's wondering what thought is. You know what? It's all my. Don't worry, we wondering where Todd is. You know what? And so am I. Don't worry, we're not getting divorced. I love penis. Okay. Listen, I don't know where Todd is right now, but I hope wherever he is, he wishes that I was there talking about penis with him because I love to talk about penis with Todd. And he was like, you know what? I'm just not feeling it. And I know he apologized empty and that's like something he always wanted to do. Like me want to always be friends with Julia thanks Adriana for

ruining that and I don't want you to I don't want you to feel uncomfortable Anthony and he's like well it was much appreciated much like I'm sure it was much appreciated for people to watch me drive by in my 1968 Roadster former miles on it everyone. You know it's interesting I actually got a new Wi-Fi box on my private plane and that's where I was watching the video. I thought it was pretty good. It was a stand-up thing to do, which I couldn't do, because the plane is flying.

Stay seated, because I'm legal. So I'm rich. I'm legal. So I follow the law. I was a little trying to say, I'm a rich person. Yeah, we have to learn from that, whatever Anthony is saying. And I have learned from that. And you know what, that's why we're here tonight,

except for Todd. And I've done a lot of self-reflection. So like hold on one second, let me put on myself, you think, look, there I am, in my phone. Me, hi, me, hi me. Isn't it funny that when I speak, my reflection speaks at the same time? Oh my God, you know what happens when you tell you

reflection to self reflect your iPhone updates. It's great. For a moment I thought that I actually had an update on my face. I was like, this is my reflection. So she goes through this whole speech and she's like, and you know, I just want to say thank you because like the fact that we're all here, like bro, Marisol, thank you. I know being here is difficult for you. And Julie is like, and you know, I just want to say thank you because like the fact that we're all here, like bro, Mary so thank you. I know being here was difficult for you. And Julie is like, Yes, I'm surprised you're here Mary so you didn't want to be here.

She's like, oh, bro said that she wanted me here and she started crying about it. So here I am. The treating Mary so as if she like had been in a hospital bed, but some of the strength to come to this, it's a TV show. It did not, she does not get any special things. She's not a murderer for showing up, okay?

All she has to do is show up at a party and not talk to Adrianna and she's fine, you know? So, she's like, well, I like to see her call me crying. That Todd wasn't coming and said, I need you. So, what was I supposed to do? You stay at home with this one over here. Steve watching him attempt to understand the rules of real fortune.

He literally doesn't even understand the free spin thing. I'm in a terrible watching him. Julie is like, well, I feel I'm here to heal my heart, but you are here to harm your best friend. And she's like, what are you even saying? That's weird. I'm harming Alexaia, Alexia, speak Alexia, bro, say something. And she's like, sometimes I think it's better to fight your metal. So the feedback I got from internet in the internet is like

stop fighting your battles. So go at it. Exactly. So I was like, well, right now I need you as my friend to step in and Julia's like. You had this selfish attitude, a putting in my opinion to put Alexia, who was your best friend in an impossible situation where she had to choose. Between best friend and God. On no one controls Alexia, especially not me. Oh really?

You said you wouldn't be here tonight to pet me. I'm the ones here, and now you are here. And so I say, do we have a here? And she's like, do you only have porphyball on her with me? It's okay. No, you know, you crawled the back here. After you know, we were moving on. And she's like, I don't need to crawl this

in my best friend's house. I'm invited to browse house before all of you. And then Anthony stands up. He's like, ah, excuse me everyone. Women, women are women, am I right? Women having petty conversation. I'm gonna go with the men when we talk about real things. Sagar and stuff.

This is every guy stands up one by one. They're like, who am men? We don't stand for this craziness. Goodbye. Women are, women are crazy, am I right? Let's go over the other room and smoke cigars. Let's go talk about the cars I've just bought after getting a public apology for having a meltdown because I made a shitty joke about somebody last season.

You know, it's great oven hoods that are encased in stone. Let's talk about it in the next room because that's what I want to do in my house. Who did he make a comment about? Oh, it was Larson. I don't. It was Larson. Yeah, I said something. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, these women who fights with women besides me last season, okay? That's like a two shoppers. Women be shopping. So Julia's like, Merrickson, you say things, you're devious, devious, devious women. And so good to go step it, step it, stop it, stop it. You thrive in this kind of disgusting environment. Is this what you guys to step it, step it, stop it, stop it. You thrive in this kind of disgusting environment.

Is this what you guys like? Oh my god, I just love this show. These quotes. These quotes are amazing. So gritty's like, stop, we're moving forward, okay? So then she's all upset about it. So then on the catch Mary, Mary's all on Alexia, Larsson, Nicole, or Ossidiumir, Mary's all like, thanks. So then on the catch Mary Mary saw an Alexia and Larsen a colar

of city memory. So it's like thanks for spaking up on Alexia. I'm like listen, it was a moment between them and like I've had my moments independently with people and that's like the best advice I can give you. There was no advice in there by the way. Just went that way. Literally no advice except I told you to come even though I knew this was gonna be hell on you And then I did nothing to support you She's like, yeah, well at least you could have said I don't affect what you decide Alex is like I'm sorry your friend just sips and shrugs So then the guys are talking and Steve's like I just like to acknowledge that we're sitting here on Todd's balcony having Todd cigars drinking his boobs

and I miss H underscore M. Ham. Ham. I miss him. So close. So close, Steve. I know you keep on trying to buy that A, but you needed to buy an I, him.

So then Russell sees Gurdie's like upset. So Russell goes check on Gurdie and she's like, I can't take the stupid noise. I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here. He's like, you wanna go, you wanna go home, I watch some Marvel. I know it's not as good as it used to be,

but I feel like we could probably wrap our minds around Ant-Man 3, right? Okay, we could do that. So then Nicole goes up to Gurdie. Because Nicole sees Gurdie as spirally and she's like, what's wrong? Something's wrong with you. She goes, who?

You? Who's asking? No, I can see. You're something's wrong. She's, yeah. So then Larsa comes up. She goes, I'm so confused. Like, I've been nothing but nice to you

and I have no issues. So then Gurdie starts crying and leaning on Larsa and sort of stroking her face. Like there was never, like there's no sign that she was angry at Larsa. Now she's crying on Larsa's shoulders. So something's better than any of this petty shit, right? So she pulls Larsa's side and she's like,

just stop, please, just stop. She's like, no, look at me, look at me. And she's like, why are you even crying like? And she's like, I'm gonna need you, I'm gonna need you. And Larsa's like, can, look at me, look at me. And she's like, why are you even crying like? And she's like, I'm gonna need you. I'm gonna need you. And Lars says, I can't I'm here for you? When have I not been here for you? Remember your charity event?

I was like, they're like, yeah. And I go, I was like, oh, you're listening to me? I know, don't ask me a question. Don't ask me anything else. When I ask for you, come for me, Larsa. When I ask for you, be with me. So of course, we know what this is saying, which I actually got like weird chills from it,

even though it was like so over the top in melodramatic, but they're all confused. So like, what's going on? And Larza's like, Gurdie, like, went from like yelling at me to incoming me fake, like hug me and telling me like I have to be there for her. Like, what the hell's going on like?

So then we see rewind one day before the new horizons party and we see Gerdy and Russell at a park with their kids and they're having a picnic and Gerdy's like, oh my god, this is so crazy. Like I planned this whole thing and then I get this news and like basically I think what she's saying is like and now here we are sitting here shooting this fucking family picnic scene and I've got this, I've got all this shit going on, you know. And she's like, the doctor called me and I'm just, I don't want to even think about it. I don't want to say the word cancer. Then I'm like, when I start to squeeze them out some salties, even though

I knew this was coming. Yeah, but to see it happening kind of like in real time, it's just like, yeah. Like it's just a sad about it. Yeah, God bless her and It's really sad love her and Russell's just you know stressing to obviously and then we see the upcoming season stuff And it first is like the typical upcoming like woohoo fun and games It's a long long fun and anything. Yeah, it's like anything gonna happen this year. But then they cut to the drama and it's just like screaming and crying and sobbing and screaming and crying. And then Amaria, it just keeps cutting to Amaria, actually band playing.

It's so good. We were gonna do a trailer breakdown, but we kind of got behind. So unfortunately we missed out on that, but then you can blame my appendix on that. But it was a great trailer. But it was a great trailer. It actually was a great trailer. And this is one of the few shows

where the fun and games part of the trailer and honestly the fun and games part of episodes, I'm down for. Like, I, and this is, this gives me like that, there were very few real housewives where when they're just doing silly stuff, I'm okay for it because everything feels like gems.

Salt Lake City is like that. Some of the New York City, most of the New York City seasons, it's just so good. I don't even mind that it was a long fun in games, but then that there was all this other stuff, it's just such a good show. It's such a good show. Sad that it has to be underpinned by, what Gerdy has to go through. Not saying I'm upset that they have to deal with it,

but it's sad that Gerdy, of course, has to deal with it in her life. But I think she comes out okay, fingers crossed. Well, great show. So glad it's back on the air. Everybody, thanks for being here. This is also a video as usual. So if you want videos head over to crap and on demand

To what's that on patreon? I will catch you on the very next episode. Bye everyone Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney Strong the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-O-Ls. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-os. She's never scary, it's the Green Ferry.

Jamie, she has no last name-y. Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Pristin the the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kiss Arino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg.

You can't have a burger without the Berg. Ruh-ru-ru. The Bay Area Beaches. Beaches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle, it's a Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Juni, my favorite Murto, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.

We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Nancy C. C. Sistow. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She's quite the catch, She's Victoria Couchett.

She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Freefree with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.