Watch What Crappens - #2213 Southern Charm: No (Bra) Strings Attached

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

It’s a very single Valentines Day on Southern Charm, so the boys head to Shep’s family cabin. Austen has been caught with Olivia’s bra in his apartment, and the only thing messier is Shep trying to make appetizing mac n cheese. This week’s bonus episode is a ranking of the most reasonable phobias. Why? We have no idea. Enjoy! Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how our Prince without direction became a duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hi, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yee-O-Broves. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello Ben, how are you?

Hi Ronnie, hi how are you? Happy Bravo Con Eve. Why thank you. Happy night to you, it's so lovely to see you here on your show. Happy Ben at Home Eve. Happy, you know, parting and LA. Happy Ben hanging out at Home Eve. Ben, you should come telling you there's still a chance. I'm not there's still a chance. I'm not saying there's a chance. I'm not coming. You're saying there's a chance. There's no chance. Okay, so by the, I'm telling you there's still a chance. I'm not, there's still a chance. I'm not telling you the same. There's a chance.

I'm not coming. You're saying there's a chance. There's no chance. Okay, so by the, I'm 100% not coming. By the time this comes out, I'm making my, and I'm outside of myself somewhere in Las Vegas who are recording this a little bit before I go. So this won't come out till Friday,

but hi everybody, that's, let's hope I'm still living. Okay, and if I'm dead, this is gonna be a really important job. Yeah. And you know what, for people who are really confused, this, everything's gonna be kind of like, well actually, no, I don't know if I even have to give this disclaimer, I was gonna say,

well, this is coming out before Beverly Hills, but actually Beverly Hills, no, this is gonna come out before Beverly Hills this week. So because of the travel and everything, being a little topsy-turvy, we're releasing this episode first because we have a screener for this episode, so we're able to record this ahead of time. We did not have a screener for Beverly Hills. So unfortunately, that's going to be later, but I'm going to be recording that

with the wonderful and hilarious Raysani who she's been on the show many times and she is the best. So sorry you won't be there for that right? We're gonna have a wonderful, wonderful fill in for you. So excited. Yeah, right on. So thanks for everyone for being patient. Yeah, thank you, Ray. And thanks for everyone being patient waiting for that Beverly Hills Reader.

Yes, and thank you for your patience as well. You know, we love doing this. We left having you guys here and the schedule's crazy. Bravo is crazy. They're overloading everybody with everything at all times. The audience, us, everybody, the cast of all the shows. And it stars, it stars. Okay, it's a reality reckoning.

It's a reality reckoning, okay. It's a reality reckoning. Tell Vanity Fair that one time I went to a restaurant on Real House, I was in New York, and they made me wait for five minutes before I got to my table. It's abuse. Speaking of, if you want to hear our reality reckoning recap, basically we talk about the Vanity Fair article that came out that exposes Bravo for all of their misdeeds. Well, a couple of them. And that's over on the feed now. And I'll let you out of this from this week. So go check that out.

Also, the schedule's so crazy. We've got Miami that started up. That's a super fun two-parter. New York ended, but then Potomac is coming back. All this stuff is happening. Tons of shows. So we are not covering for the moment below Deck Mediterranean, Winterhouse, and something else. And Married to Medicine. Right. Sorry. We just, we need to keep our sanity. So right now, we're really on, we're doing real housewives and so they're charm. That's, that is the plan for right now. I can all change, but right now, that is the plan. If you want to complain, feel free to complain, I'm just going to say right now, I just may not reach your complaints, just telling you right now. We've complained enough for all of us.

So there's Real Housewives of Potomac, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Real Housewives of Miami, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Southern Charm, and 12th, hello next week, and then crappy hour live show. And then of course, our bonus episodes where we will touch on some of these shows we're not doing full recaps on, on one another thing. So there's plenty of stuff. Thanks for being here. If you want this on video,

come watch this on video on Patreon, kite, that's where bonus episodes are. Our bonus episode this week was super fun. We played this game where we ranked stuff. We've done it a few times. And this time we ranked. What are we ranked? Disease.

Fobias. Fobias. Not to, fobias. It was a really important comprehensive episode where we ranked fobias. Phobias. Not phobias. It was a really important comprehensive episode where we ranked phobias from most reasonable phobia to least reasonable phobia. We sort of did a top level survey of various phobias that we could find on the fly. And I think the results will be very fascinating for people. I loved our list. I loved the list as well. And I would like to say that if there was a name

for the phobia of watching Austin eat, that would have been the most reasonable phobia. Hands down, because what a terrifying fucking sight. And you know what? I would love to meet Wendy one day, just so I can say, you know what, Wendy, you seem so cool on this show. I really love you.

You're one of my favorite moms on Bravo. How did you not teach Austin to eat? What, what the hell? Teach your children to close their mouth. He doesn't even just eat with his mouth open. He literally pushes his tongue against his teeth with food. Like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, He's like that. We've said for years that Austin is like Fossie Bear,

and he literally eats like a moppa too. Where basically the mouth opens and closes and crumbs fall out. I'm supposed to believe that something was done. Fossie Bear is more polite because Fossie Bear doesn't have a tongue fucking pushing up against the food and then his teeth and then the air. Like,

nah, nah. Do you have a sound? It's disgusting. It's a disgusting sound. Imagine that with noodles with with some shells. So noodle shells. I do because there's a scene in this episode where like chef is squeezing velvita onto some shells. And honestly, you could not tell me if it was velvita squeezing out of a pouch or just Austin chewing on a cracker. Both sounded the same. Just saliva. So live a lips makeup. Yeah, it's really bad. Prefer you see how southern charm as Livia chuckled both both both new bows and old bows. Yeah, she's got some sign. I'm loving Madison's narrations. I know.

I'm loving Madison's Narrations I know I know Previously on something charm beta's tried to bang Olivia Taylor was a slut and JT was short Thanks fucking moron babies Bunch of moron baby does we're sick and went to some sort of house that was supposed to be the man space But it just a slump. Thankfully, we added a short sim to this cast just to go along with all the mages. Grind it with mommy in some vent space. Nobody's ever going to bring it out because it's crusty. And smells.

Go find it. Go rent it on air beta and beta. Verbata. V.O.B. Beta. And be sure to get your dinner. You'll be the dash. Bring it right over. Hold on, I gotta go.

My oobaiter is here. So the poor thing can't find a girlfriend. He just masturbates all the time. Basically says thank you until we come to make sys into his palm sadly. Mean Christ. His mama. Theta. His mom is a beta. And finally, Taylor tried to explain her sliddy ways, but we weren't buying what she was selling. Just like nobody's gonna buy fucking day taser. Or is she still trying to make that happen? Good. Great girl.

I'm married. Just like just like how people stop buying betas when VCR came around. We're not buying day chaser. I was out to call it beta chaser. Every time you walk into a pet smart you'll see a wall of JT's in Austin's. There's a betas just sitting there in a cup. You're in a cup. Baid is in a cup. Couple Baid is. Okay. So, Patricia, we see things happening in Charleston.

So Patricia has some sort of antique arm war or cabinet, not cabinet, but it's like some sort of, it's just a ending piece of furniture and she's fudging over it. She's like, wow, these are supposed to be piece of furniture and she's fudzing over it, she's like, wow, these are supposed to be all tonight and this one's supposed to come up and that one's supposed to go back and this one's supposed to come up and that one's supposed to go back there.

Randy is locked in. See ya, Sucker. The only way Randy will ever get out of the basement is if someone figures out how to move these figure reans back into their proper order It's Patricia's version of saw she traps someone and into a delicate antique and it's not that they can't break out of it It just they know like I can't break out of it because this is worth a hundred thousand dollars. They're just too terrified Delicate wood delicate crumbling wood, they just are afraid of nutrition.

So Craig is growing some stuff indoors. I don't know what this is, but he's got all these like indoor plant lights and stuff like it's not weed. What do you think it is? What is it? Come on, you're green. Root of betas.

They maybe it was like, just waiting for that one to take you. Um, you're probably just growing cucumbers or something. It's just something Paige told me to grow something so I grow it. I don't know, he's growing something that's going to be dead soon. That's good. Um, you know what it is? Craig sees leaves. I see a billboard that says,

coming soon, A-Fid City. You know, like that's gonna be, that's just gonna be a past city. That's the thing right there. Those little flies. No, that's the fruit flies. A-Fids are terrible. A-Fids are the betas.

A-Fids are true of the betas of insects. They're these little things and they crawl up and they basically crawl about at the door and they're on all the stems and they just suck the living daylights out of these plants and they actually leave the sticky do and they're just stupid and annoying and here's how you know that they're betas

because their primary predator is a ladybug. You get even my ladybug, you're a beta. I think I know what they're betas, because their primary predator is a ladybug. You get even my ladybug, you're a beta. I think I know what those are. They are like little flies, aren't they? Don't they fly? Well, they can sprout wings. Once they are done with the plant, they sprout wings and go to the other end.

Okay, because I had all these plants. Remember when I was like, I need green in my house. So I got all these plants and I put them, you know, all over my house. And then they grew all these little tiny fly things because I don't know why, but they were everywhere and I finally had to get rid of the plants. And the gaze next door were like,

what are you doing putting those plants out? And I was like, because I want somebody to take them, but I'm not gonna have them. And they were like, why? And I told them the story. And they were like, we'll take them. And now every time I see them,

I'm like, hope you're enjoying your fucking flies. Like, I didn't warn you. And also, they haven't invited me over lately. Those might've been in the past. And I think that they're against me. But then I found out, because I gave them all those flies. But then I looked it up and it said that ladybugs will kill them. And so I ordered ladybugs on Amazon.

Do you remember? I had all these ladybugs. You can order ladybugs of ladybugs. Yeah. Yeah. They were all over my house. They were crawling all over me. They were everywhere. They'd multiply. My parents have so we're all over my house. They were crawling all over me. They were everywhere. They multiply.

My parents have ladybugs all over their house. And you can't kill them because they're ladybugs. And you're like, you're a ladybug. I'm like, I mean, like, that's the only bug that comes in a cute outfit. So you're like, okay, fine. And they're cute. They sort of walk around, kind of just looking,

they're all looking for their friend Nancy. They're like, Nancy is not here. They really all are. They like me no harm. They're just passing through. Nancy, love just passing through. Have you seen Nancy? Nancy?

Nancy? Have you seen, hey, I was looking for Cynthia. Cynthia? Cynthia told me to meet you on the CD case. The key favor, when you see Nancy, would you just tell her, I'm not flying. I'm just gonna, just see you know what I'm saying. You get it?

I'm just gonna, now leave me that. Hey, if you see Nancy, tell her I'm at the. I'm just gonna just see you know what I'm saying Hey, if you see nads tell her about the wings god. Thanks I'm at the baseboards Yeah, I never killed the lady back. I just fucking love those things are so sweet now Let me tell you that they're terrible predators because I still had those little fucking bugs everywhere So you know what lady bangs you also need to do a better job. If I found ladybug version of Wendy, I would say Wendy, why did you teach your children ladybugs to be such terrible predators? Okay, they need to do better. Wendy, still believing you? Mothers, don't let your ladybugs become predators. So, so anyway, uh, so Craig has future

if it condominiums that he's growing. And then we see Madison with Hutz and Hutz seems to have rebounded well after getting the ship you had of him and bitten up like crazy last week. And now he is, he's a resilient kid. He's not beta. He's not a ladybug. It helped him not be hitting the mother down the street

of that child who hurt my child. Yeah. Well, when I threw her into ravine, that certainly helped. It's. I saw her here and sold it to the grand. I saw it as a bitch. FBI still over there, questioning her. So that's just feeling just fine.

Hudson's got Hudson has is going to ask a girl to be a school friend or So that's him you got any girls yet? Please tell him to give her head and sit in the moods. Everybody hand over your iPhones. I'm checking. I'm checking for Taylor's. Hey, now we have Shep's face-sounding as mom. Garsh mom, is it okay if I bring a bunch of guys up to his mom. Garsh mom, is it okay if I bring a bunch of guys up to Loonville to take them to the house like asked you know also can you ask to add about the outdoor grill it's pretty self-explanatory oh one more thing mom come both yourself let me do what I want to do in life hopefully when a beer friends can

work the grill thanks for nothing slower so we got a JT's event space which a disaster. I guess like I guess he does not hire in the except you hired a violinist or whatever a fiddle player or whatever the hell that guy was playing and you can't hire someone to clean up that is disgusting. I don't want to rent that place. Also do you ever leave what is this why is JT always in this place? How are they not having the cast trip in the event space like leave? I smell you from here is I guess what?

The event space has wheels were taken at to learnville So yeah, they're cleaning up and so Rod comes over and he's like JT JT Shambles of last night. All right, and JT is like, oh, yeah Do you remember remember what Craig did over there? He was trying a big dick energy me standing, sitting on top of the cushions with his shoes on, with his shoes, my mother installed that cushion. Well guess what, he brought TPE.

Tiny pillow energy, get it? A few times I get to make jokes with those tiny pillow energy. I thought he was saying tiny polo energy. I'm so glad you said that because I was like, you might even wear a polo. And then I listened to it like three times. I was like, what is this mean? But JT is always trying to make something happen. You know, this week it's TP. Brocode. Remember when he thought he invented brocode? No professional professional conduct professional. Thank you. Because you because bro could visit thing professional conduct

So rods like okay, well, I'm here to clean with you. I guess and This is where we kind of enter the problem of the season They've got a lot of like scandal going on But they don't have a lot of charisma going on They've got two guys who are gonna clean stuff boringly, and then their female leads are Taylor and Olivia, who are also pretty low on the energy scale, I would say. But, you know, still enjoying it.

Just pointing it out that I was like, wow. I would say that actors are doing a good job of just editing a lot of things together. I would say this show has never really had too much charisma in terms of its cast. I mean, you're looking at Craig. Craig is talking like this for an entire season. He's developed charisma. It's taken all these people years to get to where they are. So I just feel like Rod and JT, you know, they're just starting out. They're just like year one Southern charm newbies

trying to see what sort of charisma they can find under a pillow, you know. I'm not a American idol, you know. It's just like privileged white people. So, you know, I believe, I believe in you. Well, to be fair, Rod is not white. You're right. I just mean, it is a privileged people.

Just mean in general. In general, in general speech. Over, yeah. The overall, the general, in general, in general, in general. Yeah. The overall. The overall, the general arc of the show. The definitely, the, anyway, ladybugs, am I right? You know what's funny about ladybugs?

They have so much charisma. So, anyway, Rod was saying he was disappointed because he was really hoping that Olivia's first meal back to quote unquote, normalcy. It was not gonna be like World War Three. Like what sort of meal at JT's mama's event space is with a guy on like electric fiddle is going to be anything close to normal.

You're on a TV show, there's no such thing as normalcy. Did you not read the Vanity Fair article? And so JT is saying, you know, Taylor just feels so alienated. She's just doing, you know, she's just got BSE, bad sweater energy. She just can't stop knitting terrible sweater. She's just a sad. And then we see a clip of him on the phone with her.

I'm like, please don't be sad. You can marry me. And she's like, no thanks. be sad, you can marry me." And she's like, um, no thanks. I just wish anybody would like me. I like you. You don't count anybody else. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe I know everyone's against me. There's not one single person who seems to be in my corner who even likes me But it's me I'm here. I just wish I wish there was someone Just anyone I just wish I knew someone that I don't know had some kind of a rental space or something that maybe I could throw a party

I've got a rental space It's like I'm everything you want. I'm everything you need, I'm everything inside of you that you wish you could be. Is that a busy signal? Sorry, what is it with I do in that lab? I'm new I shouldn't have sung vertical horizon. So we come back and rods like okay now but come on now Taylor's been cotton in what three lies now and JT's like yeah I've got a sauce spot for him. He's young, she's fatigued, she's blonde and she's as white as the inside of mommy's dinner rolls. Right. People can make this. I also have I also have a literal sauce spot for her, the cushion that Craig tried to soil with his shoes.

And this was kind of the controversy last week, I think, with us in our discussion. It was kind of this, you know, that people like Taylor do always get away with everything. And that Madison had a point, love it, had a point. I don't disagree. I do think that they're infantilizing Taylor, and I do see that thing. I mean, I am from Texas, okay? I do know, I've talked many times about the power of the blonde here in Texas.

You know, that's a real thing. So I see that. My point was I just don't like the slut-shaming coming from the women. I think if it was a woman or the man, obviously the man, but I don't, I just don't like it. Let's all. You know what though? We can't police, we can't, but I don't, I just don't like it. That's all. You know what though?

We just, we can't police, we can't, we as men can't please women and if the women are gonna sluts shame the other women well. It's not policing, I'm just saying it once. And that's it. I'm not pulling anybody over, it just bugs me. I don't like to see people getting sluts shamed.

And I don't think it was right that men's on the news ever sluts shamed by this crew either, you know, it's bullshit. So that's all, I don't know why I'm going to that, but I just, uh, you're in the spirit. It's okay. Um, so JT, well, to this end, JT says, well, people can make bad decisions, doesn't make them bad people. I know that when I was going through the pain of divorce, there were a few years where I was not easy to be around. Not because my personality.

I just had this weird thing where I hated deodorant because it sounded like divorcing a little bit. So I was just difficult to be around but I can look a tailor and say, are you not trustworthy or are you just going through pain or do you just really like those kind of chunky, knit, turtleneck sweaters? Cause I mean, I need to know what's going on here.

I don't think he's saying that at all. I think he's like shopping and he's one of those people who's going shopping around and is looking above his budget and looking for something with the scuff mark so he can take it up to the front desk and say this has a scuff mark on it. I think that everybody is acting like this is a big stain on Taylor.

And so now he's saying like, oh, well, now you're finally not too good for me. And then when she consistently tells him, no, he's going to be like one of those guys that across walk in New York is like, hey, baby, you're so hot. And then they're finally like, fuck off. And he's like, you're fat anyway. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. Today, hip-hop dominates pop culture, but it wasn't always like that. And to tell the story of how that changed, I want to take you back to a very special year in rap. 88, it was too much good music.

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I think, I think JT, he is like obsessing over Taylor, but I think actually the woman for JT is Naomi, because you know JT would be like, hey Naomi, I'll put down a cushion for you to sit on. Shut up JT. Oh yeah, that was so good. He'll just like get off on Naomi rolling her eyes. Naomi is not gonna settle for Naomi. Naomi, I will tell you that was so good. He'll just like get off on Naomi rolling her eyes. Naomi is not gonna settle for Naomi.

Naomi, I will tell you that right now. She's not gonna settle for that event space with mommy and his terrible couches. She's not gonna do it. She's like, I'll hold space for people, but I'm not gonna marry space. So let's see. So Rod's like, yeah, you know,

well, I can tell you this much. Olivia is only gonna be friends with Taylor again if Taylor is honest to a T. What are you two talking about whether two girls are gonna be friends or not? Can a life go, go, go finish sweeping the floor. Meanwhile, I mean, this is what's frustrating is that like, oh, so Taylor, I mean, it's bad. Taylor that like, oh so Taylor, I mean it's

bad. Taylor lied three times. Taylor told big bad lies like she definitely fucked up that relationship but Austin can lie honestly a million times and Olivia will still maintain a friendship with him. Which is the fucked up thing with this show with the guys and that is something that happens gets discussed sort of later. But Olivia's keeping Taylor at Arms Length and if a new story comes out, if we find out that Taylor and Austin had sex, that's going to be the end for Olivia and Taylor, America's

favorite two friends they just sort of learned about. Self-hunt Louise, kind of a new Belmann Louise guy. The new Lucy in Deathle. I think Olivia's been pretty good at answering. Mary Taylor, I mean, she stuck up for her against everybody last week. I think she's pretty good to Taylor. She's not like the rest of these guys. So then we go to Austin meeting Olivia for coffee on the side of the road because it's an Austin date. So what really do you expect?

Austin's just like, give me coffee and I'll show a path now or late on the side of the road because it's an Austin date. So what really do you expect us? It's just like, give me coffee and I'll show a path now relate on the shoulder of the road. Yeah, where are they? Like where do they find this like little IKEA outdoor set that they just sat down on next to like a mile marker on a highway? It's random. It's so she's like, wow, I forgot that it takes you

longer to get ready than it even takes me Which is funny because we're both wearing athletes here So Austin's like yeah, well, thanks for meeting up with me today by the side the highway Um, I feel like I didn't like get to talk to you last night because like last night threw me for a loop I was thrown for a loop. Yeah, I don't really know It's what Taylor thinks she's doing, sending the news to Whitney like that, but she did it, and I was like, what?

Why? I mean sending that to Whitney of all people, of all people Whitney, I mean, seriously, that is quite literally the last version that's that I'm talking about. Did you get one? Did you get a newbie? Did you get a Taylor newbie too? Like in that whole spin-out thing she was doing

which is spinning outline now. Did you get one of those too? Oh, that's not now. Oh no. No, I never did. I just see I'm seeing it. I see it. I mean he looks like he's totally 100% lying.

There's a very long pause before he says. No, I did not. And he looks at the side and literally is doing what Venn is doing, sticking his tongue out. I mean Austin is the worst lie. He should not stick that tongue out on the side of the road. Cars are going to think it's an exit ramp. But he's just going to be like, oh, here I go.

There's just a drive up into his mouth. So Venn thinks his it faces hitchhiking so this guy's the worst liar I mean it just goes to show you that practice doesn't make perfect I mean he is terrible so he's like never never never I knew from Taylor that's the same so speaking of did you talk to Taylor? I forgot, you know, after she sent me that dude, I'm gonna be like, yeah, because she was there for me. So I'm like not gonna turn anybody away who's like, you know, I'm gonna like take whoever's at

my door and be happy. I'm like an emotional version of JT's penis, you know what I mean? And like I haven't talked to you for 20 minutes. I hate you. Yeah, you know that like somewhere, Lisa Parlor's like, Jack, don't go to Columbia, go to Charleston, someone's out of door wants to talk to you.

So, like, we're at Mark. Someone who will always open the door. Jack, she just has a stack of encyclopedias and more than those stories. The whole supporting cast of Real House I was a Salt Lake City just got on a bus hearing that. So then I'll love you just talking about how Austin really stepped up after the funeral

and then they like hugged and sat in the driveway for a long time. So I guess places where vehicles are is like their thing now. And so she was really comforted by the fact that Austin knows the pain of losing a sibling. And he says, by the way, it did come to my attention when talking to my therapist that maybe

I don't make it quite literally clear to certain people in my life just how quite literally important they are in a meet and um the talk that you and I had at least some calbs remember when you said do not talk to me about being a friend yeah quite literally um it just made me feel like you thought I didn't care about our relationship and it's not that yeah no it's not that it's not that I don't care about our relationship it's just I want to use no, it's not that. It's not that I don't care, but I really should. It's just, I wanna use you for sex, but not be committed to you.

So that's really all about us. I know, exactly. Look, what do you think? Oh yeah, I was, I don't know how you got the impression. I didn't really wanna be there for you after. I led you on until the camera stopped, and then it completely ghosted you, and it started making it with Shep's ex-girlfriend,

who's your best friend. So, I'm so weird that you would get the impression that I don't respect you. God, I really need to learn to communicate better. Thank God for therapists in my life. Yeah, we're going to make that now, right? I'm going to. Yeah, thank God. Thank God for Dr. Frazier Crane.

I had to realize how important you are to my storyline. I mean, my life, my life. One of the funny things about the Vanity Fair article that we didn't mention was, and I learned this from that show, I forgot the name, on lifetime about the filming of the Bachelor, like the fictionalized version. Yeah, no unreal, yeah, I love that show, by the way, you wouldn't know from my buttering of the title, but that's a great show, watch it. But anyway, we learned from that show

that they have to have like a mental health professional on set at all times and they're like, totally just in their trailer, smoking or whatever, not paying attention. And the one from Bravo, at least for the housewives, is some guy from a website called reality shrinks.net. I can't. So I feel like I don't wanna. It's like Dr. Nick from The Sun called reality shrinks.net. I can't. So I feel like I don't wanna.

It's like Dr. Nick from the Sun, some Sins. Hey everybody. You got a problem. Ah. So I just think of that when Austin's like, Look, I'm going to therapy. It's insane right now. It's insane.

Reality shrinks.net. Try it. Bingo. So Olivia says, I just, I want, I want to trust you and get back there, you know, but I just don't know how. There's, there's a mental blockage, which I feel like mental blockage really, that could have just been Austin, senior superlative, you know?

Like there's most likely to succeed, funniest person, and then Austin just mental blockage. He's just a mental blockage. He's like, take a mental, what do you take when he can't poop? He needs mental maylock. He's like a mental, he's a mental accident. He'll just make you mentally shake yourself Austin.

Just keep staying with Austin. Also, just like to point out, you're no longer dating Austin, you don't have to trust him anymore. You know what I mean? I don't like hearing that kind of language from Olivia. Like, I just don't know if I can trust you, because that leads me to believe that she's working

on something with Austin, and I don't know Olivia that well yet on the show, but I can tell you this much. She's way too good for that fucker. So please move along. She is. And he says, like he understands that, like, you know, that she doesn't trust him. But I mean, try to take the mature approach

and like, let her work out these feelings and be able to, so that way we can continue being friends. And I'm going to push through her ice wall if it fucking kills me. I'm like, please cut to the scene from, uh, from Christmas story with a kid, putting his tongue on the frozen bowl. Because that's how awesome it's gonna get through an asshole.

My tongue is stuck. My tongue is stuck. Austin wouldn't even have to do it on purpose. I'm gonna suck this whole. All he has to do is pass a frozen bowl. And that could happen. You could just be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, gonna be the worst white walker on Game of Thrones. He's gonna get to the big ice wall and be like,

this is insane right now, there's an ice wall, stupid. I'm not gonna do this anymore. Austin is like a walking up Christmas story. I mean, mom, I'm dating Austin. Watch out, honey. He'll poke your eye out with that thing. This might have a gun, mother. And that's a tongue.

Yeah, and that slide that the kid goes on is just Austin's tongue. So Santa kicking a kid down Austin's tongue. Instead of the sexy leg lamp, it's just like a tongue on the table with a big, a big stupid fuzzy bear on top. With a drop hop. It's like, it's a drop hop can on top. Okay. So Austin's like, so this goes back to my reason

for calling you, you keep saying you want a proper line of communication that hasn't happened. So yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. So Olivia's like, she's like, well, she's, that's our type of tailor and she said that she's not talking to Taylor about Austin anytime soon. And she was like, because she was telling me that you love me

and that we should give it a true genuine chance. And that's just like, that's like fucked up. He's like, I mean, mind writing, I mean what? It's fucked up what? No, I was just gonna say that's more fucked up than like getting a personality. It would be really hard? No, I was just gonna say that's more fucked up than like getting a personality. It would be really hard.

Okay, I can't do that. It's hard. Do you have any kind of sweater that would represent how fucked up that is? Um, so she's like, yeah, um, he says, yeah, that was fucked up, and I do love you! And I hurt you, and I know we're supposed to be in the chat with the wife. I just know it all,th. I just know it. I just know it. And she's like, well, I want to lean into that but I'm in a funk. It would be nice to be around each other and not daydream about how to murder you.

I was like, oh, really? Listen, that's only going to get more intense the more you know Austin. I got it. Do you imagine marrying Austin? Jesus. I honestly cannot. It seems like one of the work decisions a human could make. So Austin's like, he's like,

well, I'm gonna continue to text you things like movie quotes and things like that. Are you not entertained? It's gladiator. You're never a movie. Who like hold on, I'm just gonna say a few quote. With my ass cheeks. It was Jim Carrey.

This is Jim Carrey movie? It's based on, it's based on, it was me. It's the truth. It was me. Jim Carrey Liolar. Just Jim Carrey in everything. I don't even know Jim Carrey. Yeah, Jim Carrey quote,

Scott, I'm proud of myself actually. I felt, this is the most intelligent I felt in a long time. Hey, Olivia, Olivia, you shall not pass. It's lower than rings. Which is important. Starting Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey.

And she's like, well, I appreciate the direct line of communication that we've got going on here. Yeah, well, if you're a bird, I'm a bird. It's from the notebook. So we then go to a chef and Craig, add it out, I'm sort of little Craig, add it out to a barn when he meets up. And when he's, hello, non-mother, it's sunny out. I thought it'd be a little colder, sort of hoping would be. And she's like, oh, gosh, okay, well, let. It's sunny out. I thought it'd be a little colder. Sort of hoping it would be and she'll be like,

gosh, okay, well, let's just start this off. So Whitney, you should have told me about the nude photo of From that night with Taylor. I mean you should to everyone else and not me. That's cool I wanted to see your JD is one more time, gosh Look man, I mean It was a joke. Okay. I wasn't trying to conceal it.

It was just like, whatever. It was hilarious. And she's like, yeah, I've known him a long time. I just wish he told me this sucks. And he goes, and just so you know, I deleted it. I mean, it's already in Bethesda Cloud. So that was really the only goal. Yeah, we put that at a copy and put it in the cover really. Neither of them getting out of it anytime soon. It's a little Christmas card for the year.

So that's gonna be coming out to everybody anyway. So yeah I deleted it. She was like was it dark? She said it was dark and grainy. Oh no it was sent on a dark and rainy night but it was clear as day, clear as day. Oh, I mean, I don't remember. I mean, I mean, I don't remember. I don't know. I don't know what it was. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

but who's my mistake to laugh about it? And show it to my mom and Madison, and talk about our AV, and then send it to her. Oh, yeah, except for you. And Craig, and little Craig. Chelsea, remember her, send it to her too. Chelsea, make sure that I got it into Danny, Oh, Chelsea remember her, Senator, or two. Chelsea. Make sure that I got it into Danny while she was getting her baby looked at me.

The X-ray. Yeah, Dennis Perkins. Oh, sorry, to the baby. The neutral sound. It's just, they did an ultrasound and she's pregnant with like, being this through the ultrasound. So Danny's baby can see it. and she's pregnant with a little old man. And being this through the ultrasound, Sadani's baby can see it.

Be a player, yes. Remember that wacky girl from season one that no one remembers with the crazy hair, who's dating the old guy who looked like Ross Perot? Should've heard too. So Shab's like, well, you know what, Taylor's just on an island. I hate that for her.

Or poor Taylor. It pains me to see Taylor so morally and spiritually lost. I feel responsible Really a person who constantly made fun of her religion and said you You fucking hate religion and marriage and everything she stands for I mean it doesn't make you responsible, but it's funny that you feel like bad that she's so morally lost Wasn't that your point? you responsible but it's funny that you feel like bad that she's so morally lost. Wasn't that your point? Wasn't your point to morally misguide her, sir? I mean if we're gonna talk about morally lost, how about the fact that a ship is more

concerned that he was the last to know about the photo instead of being concerned that people were passing around a photo of this girl behind the back that Muncher's news. Who's this man but he was the last to know? I think that's more the issue. The photo, you know. I'm always the last to know. I'm just new. He was just mad, but he was a lot more than the issue. The photo, you know. I'm always the last to know. I'm like telemetry. I'm always the last to know. Gosh.

So let's see. So, yeah. Yeah, he's like, I just heard her, and I have all this guilt. And I can't wait to go out of town for guys, for guys night. And Whitney's like, yeah, which I could come to what's the

place what's the last wealthy place that you're going to Lin Manuel Mirandaville, Lin DeVille and shops like yeah we're gonna cook steaks hopefully if somebody knows how to light the gas grill some slur stupid slaty mom couldn't help me and then I'll drink some steaks have some fine wines know, and I know JT is a lot for you to deal with, but I mean he thinks he's cool. Yeah, and he also thinks he's amusing, which is hilarious, so. He didn't get the photo. I didn't show him the photo.

So now we go over to Taylor's house and I do feel bad for Taylor because her home life is getting sadder and sadder. It's just her and her apartment assembling little table tents for Day Chaser and like Penalty is there recently, recently what fixed is that the word, is that the word, what is that archaic? We do that to a dog. Right, take it as a piece. It's broken in the first place. I don't know.

I'm like, dog is, like I don't mean to offend the lady dogs. People are like, you can't go dog things. I don't know. My dog is, she, You just get a lot of curlifloor, like when there's a pot trying to tie. I'm like, I'm trying to keep,, so like, when you talk about Southern charm, I always feel like I'm about to step into like a Just say something totally wrong. It's like we don't say those words anymore. We don't say dogs are fixed

but she's fixed. Yeah, so she's in a little diaper thing. I just, Taylor's just the kind of person who puts together table tents. I mean, it's so stupid. Really all you do is open the plastic slotch of the paper and put it on the table. Why are you spending an extra hour before you have to do something to like just sit there? It's just that's just Taylor, you know?

I feel like in this scene, explain Taylor. Table tints. Table tints. I didn't know that was even what that's what they were called, but of course, of course, she's making table tints at home. So Penelope is watching sad and Penelope is like wow I just had my lady part second out and I'm the one feeling bad for you right now. Wow. She's wearing a Busy, okay, so her mom calls or she calls her mom Leslie Who's being played by a man lad am I right?

Sussan Diana act. Yes who's being played by Diane Ladd. Is that some Diane Ladd actually? Yes, that's definitely some Diane Ladd. It was good. Diane Ladd, let's not forget Facebook's suggestion for me. Let's never forget. Facebook is like someone you might know, Diane Ladd. Oh, thank you. It's about time the algorithm was taken over by gay men.

I was like, I'm just waiting for someone you might know, Diane Weasett. Just all the Diane. Waiting for that. Any classic Diane. Any Diane. Diane Sawyer. You might know. Diane Sawyer, you know Diane Sawyer's Facebook photo was her like what's doing the thing

with doing the finger tent, just being a tense on her chin. Like I'm Diane Sawyer. This is a Sawyer tent. Here's my photo. So Diane Lad is her mom and she's like, how you doing honey? And you know that she's talked for all the time because you could just see her sad Diane Ladd face.

Suggested friend, Diane Lane. Just thought of one for you. So, Diane Lane would be Taylor's like, mom, I think I just want to come home. She said, but you're getting so good at Taylor, table dance honey. Look at you go. I mean, that was the fastest you ever did one.

What was that three minutes? Good for you. Good for you. Do another one. And so then Leslie sees a penelope in her diaper and Leslie goes, oh, a diaper. I thought that was a chastity belt. I mean, you wouldn't know what that is.

Slutty little daughter. I'm just kiddin' come back to the lake. Right. And so, Taylor's like, oh no. Yeah, she's like, I actually do know what that is, mother. She's like, yeah, it was sarcasm. You fucking idiot.

So she's like, when things are bad, I like to be with my family at the lake house. And she's like, I mean, it feels like everyone's against me, mom, have I made mistakes recently? family at the lake house and she's like, I mean, it feels like everyone's against me, mom. Have I made mistakes recently? Sure. She's like, we've all made mistakes, honey. I took off my chastity belt.

Sorry. Was that too soon? Come up and relax. Just come up and relax. Honey, we've all screwed up. We've screwed up. We all have done it. Look, even I sent a new to Whitney once it just happens

I don't understand it, but we all somehow do these things to Whitney Listen, we all make mistakes, but at least you're not dating JT So uh, she's like, you know what you should do. Who? Justin Timberlake. No, the little guy, little one, with the event space and a mommy. Not familiar. Maybe your mistake in the creative chassis belt. Oh, JT. Oh, right, not familiar. Maybe your emotional chat. Maybe your mistake in mind. The figurative chat city belt.

Oh, JT. Oh, right, JT. Right, right, right, right, right. The person you hang around you if you don't want people to have sex with you. Got it. So she's like, you know what you should do? Invite Olivia because the lake house is a place for healing.

And also, there's a lot of leaves to cover your body parts like Adam and Eve. So if you do take a picture of yourself, it won't be new this time. Come home, honey. This lake house, they're really into this lake house. I mean, the lake house is nice. We see it, it's nice, but they talk about it.

Like, it's like cult like, like, oh, the lake house. I remember the lake house. my grandparents live around the corner from the lake house my aunts uncles live near the lake house There's a fish in the lake and that's near the lake house god. I love the lake house like we get it It's a house in the lake this is a like an episode where people go to their family homes This is a very privilege at the privilege of the episode They're like wow now let's do this other thing that I never earned. So the guy is packed to go on their guy's trip

or whatever and Rod is a straight guy. So he's, well, all the guy, I guess we've all done this, packing straight out of the dryer and counting underwear by the day and then packing one extra. And he says, just in case you ship yourself and take that extra pair. Well, Craig is cooking the food.

So you never know when there might be some leakage. So then JT is like, hi, Chef, hi, it's JT. Yeah. Do I need a bathing suit? Like, what about pack? What about you? I've never been to a rich person's home before. Chef's like, oh, gosh, just wear something warm.

It's gonna be cold and if we decide to go swimming, we'll just wrap you up into all the paper and dip you in. Gosh, a cab in five hours away? That's a lot, right? It's a lot, well, it's not a cab in, it's a house. It's a mountain house. So, you know, you gotta follow the money on these shows. So that's what they're doing. So they're all getting on to the bus. Austin gets on and goes,

oh, all aboard the bang bus, baby. Quite literally, it's insane right now. I see who he's like, wow, five hours, huh? Well, you know, it's really not normal to be confined on a space with someone who's trying to stay at your ex. You know, I'm trying to strap, you know, you're gonna have to strap me to the roof.

Oh, this is fast. I'm sure all the other cars in the high would like that they'll have their wipers on while it's fully sunny. So just awesome. It's like a snow machine. Like, wow. It started early this year. I know.

Drive Austin to California. Fix the drive. Actually, I don't think we're in a drive anymore. So Craig shows up high and then JT shows up and JT is getting out of his Uber. They're watching him and someone's like, oh, the last piece of the puzzle arrived and then JT shows up and JT's getting out of his hoop are they're watching him and someone's like oh the last piece of the puzzle arrived and then someone else goes the smallest piece of the puzzle. Oh JT is so JT so he gets out of his car and he's trying to look cool for the guys and

then the car just takes off at the suitcases and everything. So it's like hey I want to revenge space. And they're cracking up and it goes wow wow, this Dacca really does get the short end of the stick. Shit, no pun intended. I mean, the guy is the short end of the stick. I'll say that. She is literally doing the end of the what's happening, opening credits with Riran chasing

after the pick up truck. He's like, wait, wait for my bands. So JT, by the way, one of my favorite instrumental sitcom theme songs, what's happening? You know it? But it goes like this. But the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad. It goes like this. Because Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, Rina, R Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh- I suck at my things. I'm just suck at it. It's terrible. I'm not doing it.

I'm insecure. I think it's a lot for doing this to me today. What was the one you were doing? You were doing something, but I wasn't, was it, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, place it. It's a famous one too, which is- Okay, well, I'll fail that one. So the guys, all right, let's talk about what's up. The guys are packing, going on the, I mean, their packs, their meeting, they're making short jokes. And then now, Chef is telling us all the small talk

of why he loves his lake house. And then they're talking about how they're gonna go fly fishing and JT's dressed like a fisherman, but he's like, I've never been fly fishing. And Craig's like, it's not just like regular fishing. It's like fishing that you have to make an effort. Pages somewhere like Adina and Deluca in York City, she goes, oh my god, I just got a shiver.

I just got this psychic sense that Craig is talking about fly fishing somewhere on a confined space. Does anybody have mouthwash? I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. It says I just have this psychic sense of about when Craig saying something stupid. Sorry, it's weird. What's the opposite of shining? It's the dulling. Sorry. So I's the dulling. Sorry. I'm not long.

But he's just like, here's Craig. All work. All work and no play makes Craig get a little tired because he was working all day. But the thing is that you got to work, but honestly, you need to have time for your friends because you don't have time for your friends. It's like, it's just gonna be like really bad and like I got a new house and stuff, but like it's cool and I love pinch. So, Shep is, uh, well, you dress like you fished AT. How does it feel to live a lie? Oh! Oh, also, we got some comments reminding you Ben because last week I'm saying you because they blamed both of us but this was you. But what was saying you know that Taylor and Shep are never going to

work out because she drives a Ford and people were like, what is he talking about? What are they talking about? Which I took offense to and did I think? She does drive a Ford, but so did Shep. Shep has a Ford and he also drives a Buick. They apparently isn't that. She does have a Buick. He's always driving that Buick. Apparently. Wait, so wait, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, bub, like Buick gave him a free Buick. And he, because there was a period of time when Buick was trying hard. I saw the red head from crazy Matt W.

on this time. I used to see her in LA out and she was always driving her Cadillac, because you know she used to do those Cadillac commercials. And like Matthew McConey. Oh yeah. Look at me, I got a Cadillac. God, I wish Matthew McConey was in a Bravo show,

because I heard a monopod cast. I just want to talk to him. Cause he talks like that. You know what I like, right? And she was like, you know what him? How are doing down? Who's Papa? How are you?

Matthew, you have an open invitation to watch a crap and smack the mackanet. By the way, Buick, get it together. Like how are you? How is your brand so old and you're still such a mech car? I'm sorry, get it together. Are they mad? I don't really know a lot about it.

I think they're mad. We'm sorry, get it together. Are they mech? I don't really know a lot about it. I think they're mech. We used to have a Buick. We used to have a big green Buick with a paisley interior. My godfather used to have a Cadillac, and that was like, whoever one thought he was like daddy war, did the war bucks.

Over there. We're like, oh yeah, did the house look Cadillac? I mean, just from like 1960 or whatever, but still, we're like, wow. But Cadillac got it together. They got the Escalade.

They like found a way. Like a lot of these cars can find a way, but I feel like Buick is always trying to find a way. And they just haven't broken through. Like someone needs to fix Buick. Like make Buick happen because I'm sort of, I'm sick of it. Sick of it with Buick.

I'm sick of this Buick. We just had it with Buick. You're just done. I had it with Buick. We're gonna have a Buick. You're just done. I had it with Buick. So I guess the theory is, so my theory is, was that they're not gonna work out because Taylor's driving a Ford, and that's not fancy enough for Shep.

But the thing is that I think Shep is driving a Ford because it was probably given to him by Ford, whereas Taylor's driving a Ford because, she's driving a Ford. So I still think my theory still stands just to have some more elaboration. So I just wanted to get that. I just wanted to car shame you because I don't really know the difference between those cars.

I really know. Although I do like the new Ford Mustang, I think that's real cute. But then I looked it up and it's all the electric. It's like a crossover version, but I don't know if it's a Mustang, but it's a Ford Some it's a Mustang right it has a horse on it, but it's like a crossover looking car It doesn't look like a Mustang, but it's real cute and I looked it up and it was like all the like all the new electric Now it's like what about when the world ends and you really need to drive you can't I don't know a hybrid, but not not why are aren't we talking about this? Fishing, we're talking about fly fishing.

Fishing, all of you guys, well, by the way, Ford also fixed the Ford Bronco, very popular. They like that. I hate a Mustang, but Mustang's popular, you know? Buick, just find a way in, find a way in the hook. So Craig, yeah, so Craig is talking about, oh, Craig's getting into a tizzy because it's Valentine's Day and he's ordered some flowers for page, but they haven't arrived on time and he's

losing his mind as he's tracking it and trying to like call 1-800 flowers. And he's like, I mean, I paid extra to have my Valentine's Day card and flowers to be delivered this morning and they're still not there. What do you want to bet Paige is in New York going, oh Jesus Christ, if he sounds me fucking flowers again. Least creative gift is that. She's like, we can't wait for the flowers. She's just gonna not answer the door.

Yeah, she's like on the phone. She's like, hey Hannah, there is a flower man on the other side of my friend's door and he has begonia's disgusting. I will not take these flowers. I'm not gonna take them. I will not accept these flowers. I'm not going to take them. I will not accept the loser. So let's see. What are we talking about? Fishing? There's a lot of like small talk

in this episode. More flowers, probably is about as well as us in this episode. So we go from flowers and then they start talking relationship status. And what is everybody's relationship status? And Rodriguez goes like, tight down, cause Rodriguez are two, which we didn't mention. And then Rod's like, I'm openly dating, and I just brought an extra pair of underwear in case I ship myself, so that's where I'm at. And I also go single, like my therapist,

Dr. reality.net, he said, I shouldn't speak with anyone for the next two months and Craig's like, yeah, you shouldn't because you don't know how to be alone. Don't be mean, Greg. Um, well, that's like, hey, you know what? Like that could be the, the start of a great romcom. Like you meet a great guy, but you're like,

I can't, I great girl, but you're like, I can't, I can't, because it's two months, you know what I'm saying? It's like so funny, it's like a really good thing, I can't, cause it's two months, you know what I'm saying? It's like so funny, it's like a really good thing. You can't do it for like two months, but then like you date her and she leaves looking like she's just walked through a car wash anyway. That's so romantic.

I will return, I will find you, love you, marry you, and live without shame. Attonement 2007, sorry, just text that to Olivia. So Taylor drives and calls Shep on Valentine's, which, you know, don't do that. But Shep, please don't call Shep on Valentine's, okay? So Shep's like, hey Taylor, whoa Taylor, wow! Happy Valentine's Taylor.

And she's like, I'm surprised you remembered where you're gonna ask me to be your Valentine's Daylar. It's like I'm surprised you remembered Where you gonna ask me to be your Valentine's like no because Valentine's Day is for weak people and losers like my mother but Me and the boys are gonna make some val some hamburgers in the shape of hearts later Wow you sound salty Yeah, well almost as salty as when I found out that I didn't get to see your nude photo. So, gosh, how are you? Which is good. I'm going to Asheville tonight and I'm going to spend some time with mom and dad.

At the lake. He's like, oh, cool. And I hope Olivia comes to the lake. I have a lake house. He's like, yeah, oh, but the girl should come. We've got so much testosterone. What an infot of the girl's game, guys! Yeah, we'd love to see you at the Valentine's Day. She's like, Happy Valentine's Day, Taylor.

Love you. Love of my love. Love of my life. I'm the one to say to you. Would you be mine? Voice mail. Who wait? Did you just vocally send me the voice mail? Oh Sorry, I say that out loud hot Hi, you've reached Taylor. I'm not here right now. So please you know what to do leave a message after the beep Taylor you're talking on the phone. I've heard your whole conversation. So the girls consider coming.

They're gonna consider coming. So then later we start doing this like land two hours later and JT is like throwing up a bottle of wild turkey like he's in cocktail but then dropping it on the ground. I was like, you know what? You're not only a shame to cool people, you're a shame to short people

because Tom Cruise really had that perfect dude, okay? You can't do that to a short hero. She is our short Muschurgana King and you know what? He showed that, he shows you can do it. He shows you can do it. Okay, so then it's three hours and now everyone's napping and then now it's two hours to go. And Craig is back on the phone. He's like, why is there a signature required for flowers?

You fuck. He's losing his mind over the flowers. And then one hour to go, hey, do you guys think Panda bears are real? Like I really want them to be real. Panda bears are real, dude. He's, oh really? You believe that jokes on you? And Craig, who says like, Craig has them to be real. Bandabers are real, dude. He's, oh really, you believe that jokes on you.

And Chris, that's like, Craig has all those conspiracies. Or really think that guy's got a screw loose. And then we see a clip of him talking about how he won't take the flu vaccine because it makes you walk backwards. Yeah, yeah, it's all out of the go-go's. So you don't think that panda bears are real?

Because there's no evidence of it. Panda's definitely aren't real. They're just like people and panda suits. So then we go to Taylor's Lake House. It's a gorge. I mean, the house itself, I mean, it's huge. And it is right on the lake. It's a gorge. I mean the house itself. I mean it's huge and it is right on the link. It's so pretty. So she goes home and this family really loves their literal sign, you know, their sign art. And their sign home is where memories

are made. Slut, keep your clothes on. I was like, whoa, God, the mom really got that sign made quickly. Home is where memories are made, not nude photos. So Taylor keep a lid on it. It's like, wow, they sell it at a grocery store. It's like, welcome home. We've put in Nanny Cam and you bedroom, keep your clothes on. Wow.

So, yeah, Taylor's there and her mom Leslie and then her dad Rick walks in and Taylor's like, Taylor trusts waxing poetic again about just like the mount, the lake house, it's on a mountain, it's like a mountain oasis and when I'm at the lake, it's like you're in the mountains, but you're at a lake and it's oasis and they're like, okay, this is either going to be the scene of our horror movie or a very boring movie on Great American Country. I'll tell you what it turned into. A very sweet but very boring family scene.

They all just kind of stand on the circle. The brother comes over with his girlfriend, the worth, and then the grandparents come over and worth, I believe, passes away later in the season. So, I wonder, does he really? You didn't know that? I had no idea. I had no idea. Your brother as well. Later in the season. So I want does he really you didn't know that. I know I do brother as well later in the season. No, yes way. Oh my God, I'm glad you told me that so I didn't make fun of him. Yeah, I know. I'm like, okay, I know that Olivia's brother. Yeah, Olivia's

brother. And then Taylor loses her brother later in the season. I think there was something going on in the year of the Charles VI. Oh wow. Nothing, a lot of tragedy this season on this show. So he passes, so I don't really want to mock them too much, but they have a whole family scene, and they're like very nice, and I'm not sure why they've seen this so long, but they seem like very nice people.

And the grandparents are talking about how they've been married almost 70 years, and the grandma's like, oh yeah, it takes 65 from to finally start doing what you're telling them to do. And imagine it took us 67 years of being married before we had to see a new photo of our granddaughter in our inbox, thanks a lot for that. So, they're like, so, do they still use a term, court and grandparents? And Taylor's like, no, now we say, talking and then we're dating.

And her brother's like, yeah, now it's DTR, you gotta define the relationship. It's like a DTR, DTF. Yeah, we still say court and, but it's like more like when I'm sick of your ass I'm taking you to fucking court and taking half what you have because I don't have to put up a new shit for 70 years, okay? It's 2023. CORT? Yeah, also CORTIN is the name of a new cast member on next season of Southern Toronto. Let's be honest. Please welcome CORTIN

so Please welcome Corton. So, meanwhile, the guys have arrived at Shep's family home, and J.C. is like, wow, this is amazing. Look at these tall ceilings. They're normal, hey, sorry. And there's like lots of- What are those vaulted? No, it's a crawl space. So... No, it's a crawl space. So, this is a really long time of just small talk and chef kind of pointing people towards their room and stuff.

And then chef tells a story about his family cabin and others golfing and fishing and all the stuff that makes me happy. I even occasionally, emotionally abuse the animals that surround the property. There's just, there's just nothing happy like this place. And it was like, they're all getting situated and this struck me as funny. At one point, Craig walks through this gorgeous house. Like this gorgeous cabin, we all know that it smells like

in there sort of smoky and just like fall and just wealthy and Craig goes, I love this place. Like I really do love this place. Like, oh, oh, for a moment, I wasn't sure you would love this opulent, beautiful house that you could never afford. Really? What a shot. He still does kind of diss it later because he gets his room and goes, wow, what a lovely view of the driveway. So then later, Rod and JT have privacy in their room. JT brings him a white claw and Rod's like, you know what? This time to talk some shit, shut the door.

Austin is proving he deserves no benefit of the doubt here. I'm pretty sure something happened with Olivia, that girl that you're not dating. Listen, you can buy some gluten bread-free bread for somebody, but you are not dating that person, sir. Sorry, you're not dating, like, listen. I actually, I'd like, I mean, Rod and Olivia together, but the moment he said, doesn't eat salads, you're just not gonna have a future with a skinny white girl. If you say you gonna have a future with a skinny white girl.

Like, if you say you don't like salads to a skinny white girl, it's like you might as well just say, I wanna run you over for a car. We are never going to sweet greens, okay? She's like, it's honestly that is what, just like, well, I wanted to go on a date to sweet greens, but we're just a general grocery shopping, you know? Like totally different aisles.

You really need to date somebody that you like walking down the same house at the grocery store. I know. So, so then meanwhile downstairs, well, he's talking about that, while Rod is saying that there's an issue, something happened. One thing that's going on is that they're gonna be making an honor of Valentine's Day, burger patties in the shape of hearts.

So, Rod Rico and Shepper making it, and Rod Rico's taking all the meat, all the ground meat, and he's made like one giant heart. I think it was like a joke or something. And of course Austin goes, you need to make that into six different patties. Rod Rico just goes, no shit. Like you fucking idiot, you think we're gonna make

one giant burger that we're gonna cut up. So then we go to Austin and Craig having some private time. Okay, so now we've got JT and What's His Face, Rod talking, and then we've got Craig and Austin talking two different parts of the house. And so Austin's like, oh, I had a deal with the loony, and that was really nice.

I thought that was really good. We watched Ace Ventura six times. That was great. And Craig's like, well, is it just you two? See, that's inappropriate, because that was your ex, and you're like,

can I hang out with your ex? I'm expecting things to go right. Craig, Craig, I hang out with your eggs and expect things to go right Craig Craig this Is sparta come on Craig Three hundred I know I know I know that a rod thinks of something happen with me I can just tell and so we cut back to rod and rods like yeah, so I went out with a girlfriend of mine Good girlfriend of mine.

Austin's been 30 with her for over the last few months and stuff and she tells me this is like super random but Austin lives around the corner. So she went over there and then when the next day she saw a bra on the Ottoman. So it's like, wow, this town is so gossipy. So you had a friend who hooked up with Austin and then Tatl tailed about him possibly

hooking up with somebody else. Mm-hmm, I love this town. And by the way, we already know that Austin is guilty because he's trying to get ahead of the story because the whole thing where he pulls Craig aside to be like, I think that Rod thinks something's going on. Like that is the telltale sign of someone trying to already like do some damage control already So JT's like he's like what did the girls say whose broad was I hope it was in my sweet angel Taylor

Did it have hearts on the straps that might have been mommies. Please tell me it's not mommy's Rads like yeah, well, he had to live you over, so, assuming it's a GG. It's like, it's a sin, Craig. Oh, he turned his head into the big sigh. So mad. Not a braw on the auto man. So then Craig says,

so you're gonna live you out of hang out and I was like, yeah, well, we quite literally met in the morning for like a hangout. And then we went to lunch and then she was like, I just wanna watch a movie at your house, like quite literally. And like, because that's what we used to do. We like sit and watch a movie.

And then we used to do it so often. And like, so she was like, gonna be on one side of the couch. I was gonna be on another and like, I was like, fine. It's totally works. So we watched three-quarters of her favorite rom-com, like an AshenkCuture movie, like my fucking guy Ashen-Cuture, loved the people he stands for,

loved the people he writes the testimonies for, great guy, great character witness, love this guy. What are you talking about? Okay, but he also tells on himself the whole time, like he wants to be caught in his lies, which is so funny, he's like, oh yeah, so he's just watching me. We got three quarters of the way through it. Oh really?

Well, what happened in the last quarter Austin, you know, exactly. Why did you stop watching it? So he's like, wait a minute. It is his friend with benefits. He goes, man, guess who left a bra? I'm like my little whatever that thing is that goes in your mouth. A little poof, a little poof thing. I think Craig's like a panda bear. No, Craig! A living out. I think Craig's like a panda bear. No, Craig! Olivia. Yes, Craig.

In a fantasy, this is Olivia in a fantasy. Olivia's not real. So then, off the geth. But the thing is, it's awesome just says it like, oh yeah, you know how like, oh, I left my phone charge at your place. Yeah, she just left her bra on my poof. But, yeah, we all know how, guys.

What? But, she just left her bra off. I've literally, I am a gay man. Okay, I have many female friends, and literally none of them have ever just taken off their bra and just left it somewhere in my house, just cuz. I mean, okay, so let alone, like a, like a horny, straight guy's house like Austin's.

And it's just like, oh yeah. Just watching a movie took my balance. I will say with, as a person with nieces and de cister who are over here all the time, I have found bras in the couch. I'm like, what is your bra doing here? And they're like, I just took my bra for you or watch you. Like I do, I have heard of that.

Like we're just watching a movie and they just get comfortable. But it's Olivia being at Austin's house, so there's a history. I don't know. I mean, they bought. I don't think she wouldn't. Olivia would not, I don't think Olivia is taking off her bra in front of Austin when they have this weird situation of maybe, baby, not.

I just don't see it. I don't see her doing that. I could see her thinking this is gonna lead them on or something like that. I don't wanna deal with Austin thinking something and going and telling people, you know, like, so I think something happened for sure. Okay, so JT, and it was wet.

Whatever it was, there was very misguided tongues because they both have the same, and here's why I believe that they belong together. I've said this before in these recaps. I believe they belong together because they have similar mouth issues and they both eat the same way. They both smack while they eat and don't close their mouths. So I think that they're going to get married. Just calling it.

Yeah. It could happen. Real tongue relationship. So basically, JT's like, this is not okay behavior. This is gotta stop. I need to see poppy seed. I'm sorry, I was talking about my mom, not FaceTime and me yesterday.

What were we talking about, Rod? Rod's like, I'm just so frustrated in so many ways, bro. Like, I went to Austin, like a gentleman, and I went to Austin like a gentleman and I told him like a man. I was interested in a man. I mean, I am a man and I'm interested and I want to pursue her. I'm just saying man so many times. I can't stop saying man all the time. I'm a man, man. That's what real man does. It was till their friend that they want to date their ex. So, I can't believe that he's trying to date his ex when I told him I wanted to date their ex. So I can't believe that he's trying to date his ex when I told

him I wanted to date his ex. So which reminds me I need to see the latest ex man man. I watch that man. Three quarters of it. No, I fuck. Well, nothing. I didn't do anything. Oh, you're talking about. There's not. Don't even know a movie go from it Carry that I don't even know he could have entered it so Rod's like listen, I don't have you know I don't have to ask permission from from Austin But I did it you know relay and now I'm watching you do I'm a man man to man man to man at man to tongue and

Now I'm watching Austin fuck with the ceiling Craig back to Craig and Austin Craig's like did you look up and Austin literally starts pulling it as He's like Carol You are the most obvious person your ears, you are the most obvious person. To get that curtain right out of your, out of your bleans. No, no credit. So the lies. So Craig's like, I think he's crossing a line, but you know, that's Austin, he's midget. He's like, if we would have hooked up, Craig, I would have told you, just like I told you

about Taylor. Oh, I guess I did not tell you about Taylor But theoretically if I were pressed several months later I would have sworn a love you to secrecy and then I would have come out with it made her look bad That's how I would have done it right like obviously quick literally. I'm growing So then JT and rod get all worked up and rods like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna wait until he looks at me in the slightest wrong and then I'm gonna go at him. It's okay. So the guys start gathering again downstairs and Shep is just like, where's the strainer? I hate how the dumb bitch says things up. I'm gonna call her right now. Listen here, Slot Warp. Figure out where to put the strainer in.

Shep, stop talking knocking your mom that way. So then, Craig and I, yeah, Craig and I, now Craig's like making the burgers. Yeah, shut the drums and do the drawers. And then this is where shop finds the velvita and it's like squeezing it into like some shells. It's like, oh gosh, I'm in my happy place. Velvita shells and cheese.

Throw them at Craig, but first throw them at JT. Oh, JT, guess we're you're sleeping tonight. In a shell, because that's where you fit, a little pasta shell. Oh, the taunting it takes so many forms. So yeah, that's kind of gross. And then JT, they're making jokes about the burgers and stuff like that.

And so, they're like, I thought dudes were gonna be hearts and ships like, no, we broke the hearts. And JT's like, yeah, well, I'm shocked, you broke hearts together. And Austin goes, well, someone's got to do it, little, little guy. And JT goes, well, you are a pro at breaking hearts. And Austin just says, like,

huh? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, making hearts. And Austin just says, it's like, and Jay, he's like, I'm getting really upset because I can't keep watching Austin get away with murder. He's betrayed, shep, he's betrayed, rod, and now we think he can just walk on water,

like, well, I guess technically because he's spitting everywhere, so he is kind of like walking on water, but he thinks he can walk on water, and it's nice. And he can't because we see everything and we he well I got to get on a box and then I see everything and we hear everything and he's hurting me now So they kind of make small talk but also like trade little barbs here in there and they're they're trying You know, it's like their first like big try try to group fight

So then it's time the music changes like three times because nothing is going on in this. You wouldn't know it. It's an hour and 11 minutes into this recap. But they were trying to make it happen by changing the music a lot. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, while they're just sliding candles and stuff.

So then, but they finally find a way into the fight by talking about Sriracha sauce, which is really impressive because one of them about Sriracha sauce, which was really impressive, because one of them puts Sriracha sauce into their burger, and then Austin's like, apparently that town is in fucking ruins! And Rod's like, yeah, because the Sriracha,

all the chilies get into the air, and then J.C. is like, they kinda created a toxic situation, kind of like our town with you motherfuckers. Sriracha motherfucker fools. So then Austin is mad because he knows that they're talking about him, but he's also doing the eating while he's pushing food

out of his mouth against his teeth with his tongue, and it's extremely difficult to watch, okay? It's hard for me to even know what happened in the rest of this episode because I'm furious. Yeah, so by the way, this is Sucky of JT because Rod had said how he's gonna handle Austin, but then JT forces the issue and now, you know, that's like not, it's not cool. You're like being a bad sidekick right now.

So Austin's like, he's like, why is JT always adding his own two cents? Like I'm scared of my ear. And so then they try to do it. So JT's like him. Austin's like, okay, well, I can make breakfast tomorrow. And then, hold on, let me just digest this egg with my teeth and my tongue. Nuh, nuh, nuh.

Okay, and then someone else wants to, but me and Craig usually do it. And JT's like, well, I'm actually quite the chef. And tonight I'm the sous chef because I'm gonna pass the stirring of this pot to my good friend, the other new person on this cast Rod your up go hit it I guess I guess my Sriracha thing wasn't good enough to start the fight So let me do some chef metaphor with the stirring the pot rod go for it. Do you have some chill?

This is like it's like signing someone else for karaoke. You can't do that. I know, Serrat's like, wow, I was going to enjoy my mac and cheese and Sriracha and no salad, stupid salad. But anyway, I told JT some things I wanna talk about tonight and that's what he's talking about. So let's talk about it. So then I was like, okay, it's like, I'm gonna be blunt, Emily Blunt.

God, she's a great actress. Do you have any quotes, Murr? I know, but I have seen that. I'm talking about Ron. We have watched about three quarters of our films before we, talked about stuff. So, what do you want to talk about? All right, well, I heard that Olivia and you hung out on Thursday and

and She came over, which point which point she came over so well she told me there was a bra Tell me there was a bra on the Ottoman she called that the girl that is not enough to just kept her As he's like, oh Jesus Christ and she goes who's bra? Was it Taylor's? Did anyone get a picture? You better send it to me first. It was mine, everyone.

It was my braw. Not afraid to shake a tail feather here and there with a young man on her chest. Patricia just pops out of five they don't work. So Craig's like, yeah, let me get got comfy and took her bra off. So what's the big deal? And JT goes, get comfy. You take your shoes off to get comfortable.

You take your bra off when you're in love with your mother. And it's summertime and she's only got a mooo and there. And this isn't just a window with you. You're just a boy. Moomoo and the air condition is just a window with you. You're just a boy. Nothing happened. That was terrible image, JT. Sorry.

Nothing happened. Fair, I didn't stop myself in that one because I really felt like it was going to a terrible point. Sometimes your mom was in a moo moo when she's overheated and the swaths of of chili peppers from the Saracha factory nearby making us need so she got to take off a bit. Sometimes edible edible references go a little too far okay what can I say? I make edible references like I pick couches. Poiling.

Poiling. So Austin is like, guys, nothing happened. I mean, we cuddled a little bit and she gave me a big old hug and she kissed me on the chest and then she fucking left. I was like, you cuddled a little bit. See, but that's Austin too. That's Austin.

You know, nothing happened. She would, when she said goodbye, she hugged me and then she just kissed me on the chest and it's really in the back. Like, what? You cuddled and she kissed you on the chest. Like he's just leading. It's not that no one can do that.

It's just that he's leading on purpose. This guy's such a mess. Yeah. Cuddling with your ex, coccling hugs, like that's like something happened. So Craig is like, I think that you guys should go talk and bribe it

because honestly, I'm trying to get through to 100 flowers and you're really distracting me. So they go off and then JT's sitting there in his chair. He's all upset. He's like, I've had enough dude. I've had enough of him getting away with murder in this friend group, okay?

Smoediculous. Cricks like, but Olivia's just as guilty as Austin because women aren't helpless sex creatures. They're the Bane of our society. Haven't you watched our show? That's what it's about. And JT's like you don't stand him up and hold him accountable Craig. You don't hold him accountable. And she's like you know why you're causing a disturbance in the force here. Okay. And she tells us he can't see Austin.

Won't be held accountable ever. That's Austin. It's never gonna happen. accountable ever that's Austin it's never gonna happen That's a great way to hold someone accountable by saying well, it's never gonna He'll never hold himself accountable so well that how they all work with each other, you know They're just like hey, you know, their deal is like you don't hold me accountable I don't hold you accountable. That's why when they do hold each other accountable It's the most defensive thing ever. It's like how dare you like last season when they were trying to be like ship You're constantly flirting with people at bars when you've got Taylor waiting at home,

like knowing very well he fucking cheats on Taylor all the time. And he's like, how dare you say that on camera when you're cheating on everybody all the time too? You know, it's like they're a deal. Exactly, but it's also like a few weeks ago when Olivia was like, this I expected from Austin, but not from Taylor. And it's like, because it's like, oh, well, it's Austin. Don't need to hold him accountable.

Well, I think in that case, she just already knew he's a piece of shit because she broke up with him already or like he treated her like shit, but Taylor, but he still should be held accountable. He still should be held accountable, but he went through the whole thing, the whole process where she's already told him,

I hate you, done all that stuff, and mean to a monk, camera, and done all that to where he's, you know, groveled his way back around. You know, Taylor has to still go through that whole process. So Austin and Rod go outside and Austin goes, I was severely hoping that you and I

were gonna be able to talk. Guys, severely, I hope they get it. I'm severe. I'm it. I'm severe. I'm severe. I want to get a three-celled one there. I like good, ring your sound card. Severely. That's, I think, the best use of the word severely.

You know, I want to talk with you. How much? I severely want to talk with you. The last person to use that was Taylor's knitting teacher. Taylor, do you need to do that so severely? It's like, what? It's supposed to be sunshine. Yeah.

Listen, it's clobbering time. Sorry, this quote from the Fantastic Four, 2005. So let's severely talk. So Rod goes, well, you know, the last couple of days I let my imagination go. And I was like, you know, like, in what world did they not make out? Like, am I going to have to start eating salads eating salads in and Austin's like I've nothing to hide Nothing to hide whatsoever and sure, you know us cuddling and making out and having sex prop acts and feelings, but I can answer you Nothing happened and then he goes I can't say why she did it. I can't say why she took off her bra

I guess is what he's saying So then a Rod's like, Rod says, I just want him to realize that he's hurting people and he needs to come clean because not coming clean, that's not what a gentleman does. And I'm a man. I do not a word often to use with these. Yeah. Have you seen it meet? So Rod's like, I mean, it's not her life, but it's just not easy for me to see her get with her ex. And so Austin's like, I mean, look, I'm, it's not her life, but it's just not easy for me to see her get with her ex. And so Austin's like, I mean, look, I'm not trying to get her back,

but of course, you know, I know that if I do get her back, I'm only gonna hurt her again. So please, take her. How do you think I feel? How do you think I feel? Watching a girl like kind of dated, we shared some cheesy tots last season and then didn't date. And then we got like upset about a relationship we never had. How do you think it makes me feel to see her with you after all that, after cheesy tots last season and then didn't date. And then we got like upset about a relationship we never had.

How do you think it makes me feel to see you here with you? After all that, after cheesy tots. How do you think I feel? So, after I blew off a girl watching her pretend to be somebody interested in somebody because they got her something gluten free and then having to get her to like me again so I can blow her off again.

Too hard to have difficult that is for me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. For us like, look ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why were we fucking or I don't kiss while I fuck so no we did not make out. Um so he's like no not what happened and so if you want to be head over heels for someone that dot dot dot I'm not gonna stop you. Like what was the dot dot dot what does that mean if you want to fall for somebody that totally didn't make out with 100 back. Oh, I was just pretending to like you. So Rod does, I hear it and I hear your subtone too.

Did he say subtone? Does that what he said? I think he meant, like, I get your subtone by that. Cause Austin's being obvious, cause he goes, no, that's not what he said. I think he meant like I get what he means. What do you mean by that? Because Austin's being obvious. Because he goes, no, that's not what happened. And if you want to be over head over heels for someone that I'm not going to stop you. He stops. So he's like, okay.

So like I see what you're saying. You know, like if you want to be with somebody that's obviously already been with me and that still has feelings for me, have fun. But that's your choice. You fuck. So Craig's like, inside Craig's like, Rod's not Olivia's boyfriend, and Rod has no claim over Olivia. And JT's like, but did you know that he hooked up with Olivia?

He didn't hook up with Olivia, they just had sex and she left his broad as house afterwards because they were naked together, it's not a hook up, and then Austin, back with Austin, he's like, and you know what, I'm not happy with me, which is why I'm pursuing therapy on .NET. And, what you're planning, Rod? What you're planning? What you're planning?

And Rod's like, well, I'm a mature adult. So I'm gonna talk to her about it. I'm gonna listen to what she says. And I'm gonna drive to three stores and get her three different kinds of gluten-free buns. And then I'm gonna see where she wants to go from there. And then off to like, ah, ah, ah, ah, he's like sipping in the most suspicious way.

He's so shady. Yes, Austin. So the question is, will Rod and Olivia's barely simmering relationship be able to survive Olivia's barely simmering relationship that she used to have with Austin? I'm what the thing I'm most interested on this show to see, because I think Olivia's pretty much here to stay, right? I mean, it seems like Olivia's like the new lead cast.

I think I would really love to see Olivia genuinely fall for somebody on this show that it's not forced just to be on this show. Because our first season, it's like, I just moved to Charleston just because I totally want to be here from LA, which is not true. And then she had that whole fake thing with us. And now she has no chemistry with this guy right,

I'm sorry, there's just nothing there. So I wanna see somebody that she's like really into, I want that for you, I hope that for you. Next time I'm on set in charge, hopefully Olivia will find somebody to light a fire under that, light a fire under that girl. So let's see, let's see what happens.

We will see, well we got the midseason trailer after that. So I don't know if there's an episode next week because I feel like the tradition lately on Bravo is that after the midseason trailer, there's a week off. We're going to look into that. So either we'll have more Southern Charm next week or no Southern Charm next week, but either way, we have Beverly Hills is coming up next. in term next week, but either way, we have Beverly Hills is coming up next. And Ronnie is off to BravoCon where he will be avoiding all of Austin's fiddle. And, you know, I can't wait to hear all the stories that you're going to come back with. It's going to be so much fun. They had all of our podcast or friends, all the people we know, you're too late. You're too late. You're two late, man.

And guess what, next week is a new Southern charm. It's a new episode, just looked it up. So there we go. We'll be back with it. It is too late. It is too late for me to go. I'm not going. I have other plans.

I have other obligations. I cannot do it. I cannot. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. We will talk to you next time. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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