Watch What Crappens - #2215 RHOBH Part 2: Et Tattoo, Brute?

Episode Date: November 4, 2023

Welcome back! Special guest Rae Sanni joins to break down this week’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (S13E02).  We’re talking about Dorit’s latest theft tale and Kyle’s tattoo instigation.  Plus, the latest Page Six mess that we’ve found ourselves in the middle of.  This is part 2 of a two part ep!Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how our Prince Without Direction became a Duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, I have cram, cram, I have cram, I have cram, I Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about it on the old Bravo. Ronnie is still at BravoCon and we are in the middle of this Beverly Hills recap. It's a two-parter.

So if you're missing part one, go back in the feed and check it out to take a look over there because that's where part one is. And now join me and guest host Ray Sani as we go into part two of Beverly Hills. So, uh, anyway, are you kidding me gonna go over and, uh, fucking rehab? There were photos of Shannon at Bravo Con. They're like, look at Shannon. Looks like she's not drinking. I was like, okay, report that report that to Vanity Fair. All over on that, though, we we should be on her ass about that well no it was it was supported it was a supportive post it was like look at

the picture at all support of a night i don't know i would hate to be a public figure who needs to get sober you guys are all aware of it all that's true uh... but that being said chanin walking the dog after she crashed her car into a house still is the funniest things i'm sorry drunk driving is horrific and I think that there should be great repercussions for it.

It's also when someone doesn't get hurt, it's fucking hilarious. It's like what the things people do to cover up, they're drunk driving is so funny to me. Like Joe, Judea, like, he flipped this car and then he's like, yeah, and so I was right near my dad's house, my father-in-law's house, so I went up there. So I took my house to relax, they called their house to come down. I had to have more drinks there. Like what?

And stop. You know, listen, I think that like in general, like we need to have separation of tuition state in terms of like, we have to like be able to acknowledge that certain like drunk driving, for instance, is horrific. And then no one thinks that's funny. Obviously same with things like racism or any of the ills of our society,

but we should also be able to see the things that are funny that come out of these things. Because there's a lot of funny stuff that comes out. Let's go of racism, but more of drunk driving or just any terrible antics. No, no, but also with racism too, because sometimes the way people misbehaved is so illogical and so absurd. Like you just have to laugh. Like, did you really just like

walk into the store and call me 10 N words? Because I was drinking chocolate milk. Like, is that really what you did today? Like, sometimes it's so absurd. Yeah, we have to be able to appreciate the absurdity. And I always feel like that's what Bravo has been really good at. And so it's been hard. And it's why it holds my mind that people are trying to take them down for documenting how absurd these absurdity are. Exactly.

That is the central premise of I would say the whole network. Like we are we are rubber necking people who are misfits in society. It's like how are these people functioning into light society? I'm not here to be, to like hang out with people I want to be my friends. I'm here to look at terrible people

and how do they function, you know? If you ever in your life thought that like Shannon B. Dore should be like the leader of your friend group and your moral compass. You are a dummy. This one is scared of the placement of lemons in her house and you are here to be like the figment of like responsibility. Get out of here.

Get out of here. Okay. So Jeff is sad because he misses his wife that he abandoned and left to die in a global pandemic. Why can't you just be with her again? You fucked up, bro. Bad is what happened. He fucked up. He fucked up. So Crystal talks about maybe getting a matchmaker for him. So suddenly we're seeing some sort of matchmaking theme happening and then they make some jokes. I don't need more than one matchmaker on this show. We've already got a matchmaker storyline from Garsell

when her storyline flopped a couple seasons ago. Let's be honest here. She flopped with this matchmaker shit like two years ago. I don't need it again. Honestly, the matchmaker thing has never worked on Bravo with the exception of I would argue, people not gonna wanna hear this, but when a matchmaker went on to Roni and Ramona tried to

work her magic on a guy with a red scarf, and it was just hilarious watching. Oh yeah, I think he was like set up with Bethany, but I think he went for Carol, but then he flirted with Ramona. That's the only time matchmaking works because the women on the OG New York cast did not give a fuck, they would steal your man and they do not care. They will scratch your man in front of you. They will pull him to the side.

It's almost like how at the strip club, I'm only saying this because I used to be a stripper. Like, you used to get cutthroat. Like if you left a high rolling customer for two minutes cause you had to dance on stage, every girl with pounds, that's how they move on the OG Rodin cast. They move like shippers at the Shriff Club and a big balla just walked out.

Harry Dubin, like Harry Dubin, like the pirate. I mean, that was like, they really pounced on each other's man. And Sonia would be on the shit end every time. I had a first. Oh, well, girl, this DJ called you to stage. This is my lap dance now. You know?

So they have some talk about like finding someone for Jeff and they joke about like, oh, what if she's like 20 years younger and talk about like finding someone for Jeff and they joke about like, oh, what if she's like 20 years younger and talk about how Crystal was, you know, like Met Rob and he was 20 years older than her and that like when Jeff first met Rob, he was, had like a button down on that was unbuttoned down to his navel, which I really didn't need to have that image of Rob. I don't think we need to associate that with the Lion King. So anyway, let's go over to, let's go over to the old Corral.

Whatever. Okay. Corral with Kyle. Okay. Another, as dull as this episode was, there were some very funny moments. So Kyle pulls up. She's got this new Range Rover, the autographed edition or whatever it's called, which is funny because like, who's going up to get Kyle's autographed? She's autographed edition or whatever it's called, which is funny because like, who's going up to get Kyle's autograph? She's like,

honestly, it's just called like, I had a role in a Halloween kills edition, you know? And now, you need my signature on this signature car. Girl, get the fuck out of my face. So she shows up in this Range Rover and Doree comes over and she's like, oh, gee, I'm so excited for your new car I mean even though I literally have the same one, but congratulations Which is hilarious because it's like a it's like I'm just gonna ran on your parade a little bit

But also like Ron and I have this ongoing theory like Kyle is so jealous of everyone else. She copies everyone else She gets something everyone else gets She copies everyone else. She gets something everyone else gets. Absolutely. Like if you get a watch, she gets a watch. And here she is getting to this car. Absolutely. I would I wouldn't be surprised though if it was like Kathy's car though. Probably it was Kathy's car that she bought for the quote unquote lady. It was Kathy's card that she bought for the quote unquote lady. So. And then and then Doree got it.

And then Kyle got it. Yeah. So Doreet's like, but anyway, Kyle, congratulations. I'm obsessed, obsessed with your car, which is actually my car. If you really think about it, how can Doree afford that car? Oh, well, I heard she went down to the test and autom all with you know a handbag of $150,000. $10,000 in a hand bag. She took a rascal down there and just put it right in the front. She's like, I don't know all the money flew out on the freeway. Can you put a range roller in a a card? Can you do that?

I'd like to buy a raindrop for Christmas for all my dear friends. I just reached up to get the raindrop when the top shelf and I looked back and my bag for the $1 million is wasting. It was so traumatic that I was walking through Walmart and I saw Pique's beautiful yellow face, a transit that was actually just the Walmart logo. Next thing I knew my money was gone. So what is just PK stealing his money back from Doreen because he knows that he can't afford any of the purchases that she made. Listen, I've seen ruthless people, okay? That is 100%.

Did you ever see that movie? No. It's with Dan. What is that? It's so good. It's from the 80s. Everyone go watch it. It's with Dan and DeVito, that red-learned.

I'm gonna go watch it now. Yeah, that red-learned. A judge Ryan Holt. Wait, this flying up sounds, you said judge Ryan Holt? Yes. Wait, time out, judge. Okay said judge, right, Hull? Yes. Wait, time out, judge. Okay, you know how you would be having random crushes when you're a young kid?

Of course. And you'd like, don't know why you find this person's particular face very soothing and attractive. Judge Reinhold is one of those faces. Wow. You know what, I totally get it. I mean, he was cute. He was cute, dude.

Yeah. Also, another one of the 80s, like randomly soothing cute faces is the lead guy from police academy. What's his name? Steven Berg. Yeah. Steven Berg and Judge Ryan Haldi always linked together. They certainly had that same.

They were like the same type of face. They were like that face that was popular at that time. Like Andrew McCarthy, like they sort of had that kind of It was a look it was a look Yeah, I like oh you would love this movie so Helen Slater and There's some others, but either way it's basically Judge Ryan hold and Helen Slater

Kidnap that midler who's like Danny DeVito's awful wife, and they try to hold her for ransom, but Danny DeVito is so happy that someone finally took care of his wife, that he won't pay, please take my wife, take my wife, please. It's literally that joke, and like he will not pay the ransom, and it's like hilarity and sues, but what's great is there's a scene

where Ben Middler, Ben Middler's sort of the friends, her abductors, and so he does not, he does not want her back. And they're like, we give us $50,000 or we'll kill her. And he's like, I'll give you $30,000, like fine. $30,000, a bit middler goes, wait a second, I've been marked down. That has nothing to do with this episode, but I just want to say. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, everything, yeah. Yeah, they are definitely up to some ruthless people stuff.

And watch that movie as definitely Doreed and PK. So Kyle has picked up Doreed to go to lunch, but what PK, I mean, what Doreed doesn't know is that PK has arranged a giant surprise at the Beverly Wilsher hotel because- He's by this, I did not. No, this was, this felt like a last minute thing where they're like, oh shit, we need to film today.

PKD have some idea of what we could do. I'm sorry. So they're gonna recreate for their anniversary. He's gonna recreate meticulously, pretty women, pretty woman. And Kyle said exactly what I was thinking, which is shocking because like Kyle's like, um, does he can't know exactly what that movie's about?

Does he realize what role he's putting his wife in at this moment? I don't, but I mean, generally speaking, the fact that pop culture romanticized that movie in general is kind of crazy. It's like, okay, she's a rundown prostitute and this man can't control himself like, what do I, you know, hey, okay. It should have been a step forward, honestly, for the entire profession. Really should have been a breakthrough movie, but the only takeaway was like, stay away from Jason Alexander. I know, Joey. He's a great, okay. So weirdo's very prostitute.

Got it. I'm sorry, thanks. Great soundtrack. But it's all okay. Can you take me shopping on a road to Aile Jowling? Yeah. So, so, Doreden collar driving and Doreet basically is like, coil, is like everything okay with you.

I feel like there's like a certain heaviness, which I'm like, you're not allowed to say that I'm real house was a Beverly Hills. I know, truly, she's gonna go throw up in the bathroom right away. That is a heaviness as a four-letter word on this cast, okay? I was so shocked and whatever, like I've just been living my real life,

so I'm not calorie counting the way, but they really care about this stuff. They really care about being skinny. I forgot how hard it is to be a woman in. Yeah, it's they really do. So Kyle's basically denying. She's like, oh, you know, like things are fine. Dr. Mauricio has just been really stressed with work and like Kyle's tongue just starts like doing

laps around her lips. Like that's like, you can tell she's actually, uh-huh. Yeah, no, like, uh, like everything's fine. Everything's like, totally fine. Wait, it's like a froggy thing though. Like a quick job. It is. It's like a lizard like it's like, right.

It's like she's always catching a fly. So, um, so she's basically saying, Dread saying that like, no, she and PK used to always have dinner with Kyle and Maricio and go on vacations. They haven't seen him in forever and it makes, and she feels like something is is really up and you know, she's not even seeing Maricio on Kyle's Instagram anymore. And so Kyle saying, you know, oh, I just needed some freedom and space from the, I guess the intensive workload

that Kyle has on a day-to-day basis. What happened? So like, I want to be sympathetic. I really do. And I think I am. But something feels so childish about the way she's going. Yes. Yes. It feels a little petulant a little.

Yeah. Like, okay, I understand. Like, first of all, when did she start calling him Mo? What was that? I mean, I think the Mo thing has been around for walks. I remember, I seem to remember Kim Richards calling him Mo when they went on a... She called him more of Reese went on a more recent. She called him more Reese. She called him more Reese. Yeah.

She did call her Reese. And then like, so for me, I was like, okay, Kyle is calling him Mo. Like, she's dissociating from him, right? Because she calls him Mauricio. So she's giving him a nickname. There's some distance she's creating, right? Yeah. emotionally.

But like, everything else, like, just feels so kiddish. Like rebellious. Like teenage rebellion. What? The teenage rebellion, right? Yeah, emotionally. But like everything else like just feels so kiddish like rebellious like teenage rebellion What teenage rebellion right? Yeah, like if you're a managing man, just tell you man. He's annoying You know and like I think that she like I don't know She needs projects she needs project. That's why she has children. You know, she has children. She has Kim. She has Teddy, you know. And he doesn't need her, right?

He doesn't need her. She's not getting probably the same attention from the kids that she was once getting. She, um, she's always... Her kids are broken up. Yeah. They're at this part of filming because I think they got back to their... It looks like they got back to their back. He broken up at this part of filming. She

says to us, she told us she took a break from all the friends in the group, right? So she broke up with Rina, broke up with Erica a little bit. Listen, and I hold space for the fact that Marisa may just be like a shitty husband too. Like he could be like totally emotionally distant and awful and yada yada yada But from what we're seeing on camera like the vibe that I'm really getting more of is that Kyle is being kind of like Kind of bratty, you know, and I I think okay, I'm I agree with you a little bit in that like I think that

Mauricio has not changed right, but I don't think he's been good the whole time. I just think he hasn't changed, right? For me, Mauricio has always been a stone cheater, but he loves Kyle enough that it didn't bother her. Maybe it bothers her now. She's sober, right? It's been seven months since she tried. But like, so she, uh, cognizant of it, she's bored.

She's sober. Her kids don't need her anymore like Being Mauricio's wife probably isn't enough anymore, but I would just say that I'll be like yo Mauricio I need more from you then I'm gonna show your mom a tattoo Yeah, like last week she was like are you are you done yet? Are you done yet? Oh my god? Are you done yet? Can we like I'm waiting for you Yeah, and then he like sits down to talk with her Are you done yet? Are you done yet? Oh my god, are you done yet? Can we, like I'm waiting for you? Eat the oven, fun. Yeah, and then he like sits down to talk with her.

Phone, dad. You're a fuck. I gotta chat to you. I gotta chat to you. Yeah, I've got five of them now. Oh my god, look at my body, you would know. You can't see anything about it. You can't do anything about it.

I was like, you, you made him get off the phone just to be like, huh? It's like it was like a weird energy to me. That is such a teenage thing to do. It's just like call attention to yourself and then when you get the attention go, yeah, exactly. That's all she's doing.

So they get to the hotel and the concierge is like, mis-richards, we've been expecting with the Beverly Will's your hotel. Here's your key. And we're like, what's going on? What's has anyone seen my handbag? $500,000? I'm scared, Kyle. Don't leave my handbag alone with the maids in the room, Kyle.

So meanwhile, here's some great news for you, Ray. Garcella's at home and she's told her assistant she wants to go to the crystal store later on because there's gonna be a pink moon. All right, and then we go over to... And then we go over to Sutton and she's setting a table with Avi and Garcell shows up and Sutton has gotten barbecue and like cornbread and all this stuff.

And Sutton is talking about how about her matchmaker and everything and how it's like really hard. Like, you know, the traditional male female thing and she says, I was not invited to the boardroom of our marriage. And we all know all the power happens in the boardroom. And I was missing out and all the good stuff and what should we do with the money? Yeah, so she's talking about basically, her husband said, be a mom, sit there in the corner and I'm gonna like take away all your power. I'm very sympathetic to her.

I'm just curious because like she got married in like 1990, right? That's what the screen says, something like that. Well, they showed a picture of her with like a baby in 2002. In 2002 and her wedding picture was like earlier, but I was very curious because I know she's from the South. I know they're from the South,

but her wedding picture was in New York City in like the 90s. So I'm kind of curious about how that dynamic came about. Like he's a finance guy in New York But you're a stand-home mom with like very traditional rules But then you also say that you were part of building the business. I'm not saying I don't believe her I want to be very clear. I do believe her I'm just curious about how someone like Sutton who seems pretty strong-willed and like Like she always spoke up for herself or whatever,

how that dynamic sort of happens to her, like how, like the process of him engulfing her in that way with him. Have you never watched the White Lotus? I'm like, I've heard. No, I mean, I feel like I can see what happens. I've heard it. They have like a walkie.

But you should think for Sutton of all people, her personality. Yes, I see her doing like. They have a walkie. But you see a thing for Sutton of all people, her personality. Yes, I see her doing like following in like a wasp trajectory. And she's doing the things and she's sort of getting him in and she hates it and she goes into misery. I mean, I feel like I've seen as many movies. And I know I know everything about women from movies. And she got left with the thing, right?

She got left. She was the marriage. I forgot. Yeah. He pulled out from what I understand if I remember correctly. So like how long was she going to just accept that? Like I want to be clear. I'm not victim blaming. I'm just very fascinated about how a woman likes certain of personality type like how it happens to her. Or if the strong version of something we're seeing is like in response to what happened to her, you know. Probably all of the above. And but I can totally see certain, like, doing what seems to be right for society. And I'm going to take care of the children on my mother's side this and that.

And then all of a sudden, yeah, country club, then she's angry, and then she's like, so you're going to go out again with your friends while I'm here with the children, country club, then she's angry, and then she's like, so you're gonna go out again with your friends while I'm here with the children, you know, like scenes late at night in the kitchen. What? She's tired of giving these kids Arnold Palmer's, like she wants to go to. I mean, this is a show that aired on ABC on Sunday nights, you know?

That's true. But I am with you though, I think it's probably, I like Sutton, I think that she's very fascinating No, I'm fascinated. I want the whole story and what's unfortunate is Because of like the drama that has happened with like the other cast me It's like we only get certain like pieces of Sutton's backstory little by little like how am I just finding out this stuff? We're on season what four or five of her. Yeah, but that's what I love about her. I do feel like she's always revealing stuff.

I, sudden to me, is what I want in a real house so I, which is that she cannot help but be herself. And next week, it looks like she's gonna, like, you know, go off the deep end, which is my favorite version of sudden. So, I'm all about it. I just wish, I just, I mean, maybe it's greedy, but I just wish I had more information. It would be nice to have like, spend more time learning about Sutton than watching, you

know, Doreet and Erica and Glam from a million times, because I literally do not give a fuck. I have a good fuck. I know, I want to know, and I know we know this, but this is just an example. Like, I want to know how like a ballet dancer from small town, Georgia meets Jennifer Tilly and becomes best friends, you know? Like, right? Like, what is that story?

How the fuck did that, you know what I'm saying? And they showed us, oh, she gets 300 K a month and child in spasal support. How the fuck? I don't know. I know, son's got many things figured out. So I know you want to know more about sudden, but would you be okay if I told you that instead we're going to find out more about Garcell on her kids?

No. Well, I'll, don't worry. So, it sounds like now, Garcelle, how about you, and Garcelle? I know, I was so mad when she asked that question. I feel so mad because all you want is like a self-aware friend who goes, I've been talking about myself too much, tell me about you, but I was like, no, don't ask this question. Don't do it. Don't do it.

So, Garcelle starts to choke up, but she's like, well, I could burst into tears right now. And I was like, oh, this is why you don't get bumped outside of the coming to America's sequel. What do we mean? I can burst into tears right now. Do it. You're an actress, do it.

I know who I am. Come on. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crack. It's almost that magical time of year. Speaking of, what's your favorite Christmas story, Ben? Uh, hands down, the Grinch. Same!

It cracks me up that he hates all the marimons. Right, and he steals everyone's presents. But then it's like so heartwarming at the end when the whole town is still singing and he realizes that there's more to Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know. It hits me right in the fields. Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring The Grinch, and I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it, Ronnie.

Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahamba, the OG Green Grump, The Grinch. From Wondry, Tis the Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of Ruvil to use my situation as a teachable movement. So join me, the Grinch! Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Your family will love the show! As you know, I'm famously great with kids.

Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So she's saying how she's like I think that Jack thinks that I'm doing it all wrong as a parent. I'm like who cares you're the parent do it like who cares that is approval. He's like a 15 year old like who can like I'm not who cares Right like if he's feeling something his mom should care But truly you are the 15 year old son of a famous woman and girl So have a perspective she's up for enough perspective to be like he is going through something

I should be attuned to it, but also like. I like to work and I, like, I'm just, I just don't see why your teen acting out in ways that aren't dangerous and it's just lashing out emotionally the way hormonal teenage boys do is a fucking storyline. Like I don't give a fuck. So I didn't have the best text. She goes, guess what? Teenage

boys are kind of assholes. Okay, they are. Yeah. That's why they all made my son work on vendor machines. They'll get over it. They are assholes. And he's the twin who doesn't have a girlfriend. So he's probably talking about that. Yeah, he's funny. Brothers not hanging out anymore. There's some girl over all the time. His mom is off filming Michelle Boutot show. He's on TV. That's what it is. So, Sudden Bayesley says, this is why she and Garsell have this bond because there are single mothers who have

X's that are involved in their lives, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, then we go to back to the hotel. And now Kyle has led to read to like a standard. Like if you went on to the Beverly Wilshire hotel website, it's like, here's a variety of rooms, here's your standard queen room. This one has, this is 200 square feet and has an ice bucket. So they're is this room.

I mentioned this only because Doreet is pissed. She's like, she's like, he's so mad. He's like, why don't I have the president just sweets? Where am I, man? Yeah. Because Doreet, PK can't afford it.

He's lying to you. Now we know where that $10,000 went. PK is like, Hello? He's always back! He's always money back! When you see my wife, go get the envelope, she keeps the money in and deliver the Beverly Bersia.

So basically, she is, Dree is so confused and cause like, doesn't this remind you of any movies you have seen not including Halloween kills obviously which I was a star of which I started which I started. I made very important aside from David Curtis who came to my show last season she came on our show last season. I mean you know Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis in front mine. Yeah. I'm kind of buying. Do you wait, honestly, though? Do you think that Jamie Lee Curtis text Kyle?

Oddly enough, I think she does. I do think that not all the time. Or do you think it's like, oh, here's my fun reality TV friend that I don't take seriously. I think that what she does is Jamie Lee. Curtis is like, so who is Jay Balvin? Kyle, have you ever heard of someone named Jay Balvin? Jay Balvin wants to meet me. Kyle, have you heard of him? I think she checks her Kyle to be like, is this someone? I was gonna ask my kid, but they have to get it. By the way, do you remember when Jamie Lee Curtis was

in Offset's music video? No, she was. Okay, so I was so surprised by this because I was like, why did Jamie Lee Curtis agree to do a video with Cardi B in Offset? And not only did she do a video with Cardi B in Offset, she and Offset recreated that James Brown interview where he had just gotten released from prison for assaulting his wife and was

clearly on all the cocaine in that interview and the like, white woman reporter was trying to navigate this, like it's classic, it's from like the 80s or something, early 90s probably. And I'm sitting here being like, what? How or whatever. And now that you say that Kyle might be her friend, that she runs things through, I totally see her text and Jamie Lee text a Kyle like, should I hang out with Cardi B and Offset? And Kyle, we like, yes! Do it!

But no, Kyle's like, um, hey, Alexia, what's offset? Chris, Chris Jenner, do you know offset? Do you know offset? Are any of your daughters married to him? Are any of your black, red, children fathered by offset? Is offset a person or is that a filter on Instagram? I have to get back to an Oscar winner.

I was a little bit of this explain everything. Right. I think of that sort of relationship. To finally realize is that this is a pretty woman thing. And she's like, but then when she finds out, she doesn't think, oh, this is so cute. She's like, what, pretty woman? But like, gee, like, in pretty women, Richard Gia, Buzz Vivian, all the breakfast that she could ever want.

And I have some cruditase and fruit, I have to put it at myself. She wants like the accuracy of pretty woman. She's like ready. This is the only time Doreet will ever eat. So it's very important that this happens. We gotta get Doreet some food on camera. Yeah, she says, I mean, I've got to pull my own water. And like, I've got to lay out my own fruit. I mean, this is not exactly screen. Hello, it's your anniversary. I'm like, you have free fruit and water and crudities

in the Beverly Hillsshire hotel right now and you still want more. You're good. You're good for me. So then she's like, who's taking care of the kids? So she starts to get freaked out and everything. Because she's never left the kids unsupervised. Girl, who was you looking at? Who was looking after the kids before you do about the surprise?

Exactly. When you got into Carl's, Kyle's Range Rover, who was taking care of the kids? So she has to do all that. And she talks about her anxiety and control issues. And she's like, you know, before I was at a teen, but after the two robberies, including when I was walking through beverages and more, and it turns out I had beverages at less.

Oh, my anxiety is at a thousand. Also, I know that it's right to feel violated when you know someone takes something from you, especially after you had an encounter home of race. But a burglary is not the same thing as a robber. You didn't get robbed twice. You got robbed once and then your stupid ass took a bag of money to the target and left it on the front of your card Doesn't you know? Things right and that's one

Ft. SD you don't get to claim to PTSD's that's one PTSD That was like a oh, I'm a dumbass moment, okay? And I mean look it's like you said it still is violating even when someone does that But that being said it is they're different. They are different. You don't get to you don't look. I'm a sympathizer to Doreen both of them. And I just have a trigger. I understand I would be a trigger, but still. Did you get some PTSDs on that one PTSD and one really uncomfortable situation? Yeah, their coupon is only good for one PTSD.

Unfortunately. Unfortunately. So, so Kyle calls PK and because Doreet's freaking out and PK's like, all right, tell her it's a beautiful surprise on the entire family of Enoch on it and she's just got a relax, okay? And Kyle's like, oh, it's not a surprise anymore. It's really not. And then, so Kyle just keeps on laughing, because it is funny. Like, this is one of those times I'm on Kyle's side. And then PK and Doree are talking, and he's

like, I'm talking to us in a confessional. And he's like, you know, Khan and I have laughed together a lot. And she enjoys when something potentially bad is happening to me and when we talk about surprises and carving and varn, maybe the biggest surprise would be if Maurizio ever did that for her. That would be a big surprise. We're like, I know right up like, Oh drag!

He came as like one of those guys in Target. He came out of nowhere and just, he's like, that came out of nowhere and just... That came out of nowhere and so... He's getting a scoop out bag of that Kyle and Mauricio Stamkey like, wow! But here's my thing, so then here's the question, here's the question, because they were friends as a couple, which means that Kyle was Dory's friend, Mauricio was PK's friend. So what does PK know?

What does he know? I would like to know. I would like to. And she said, and Sutton said that she had seen, the only woman she had heard was that PK was in a car with a woman when he got stopped for that DUI. So are they just regularly, because Mauricio is always stoned, like are they just regularly like covering for each other? Yeah, covering each other, all stuff covering each other with women under the influence

of stuff. There's obviously much more to this. So to read them calls for kids, which is, I don't know, she calls the kids and they're like, Mommy, we're involved, we know everything. We even know that Berlin is coming to the hotel room later. We don't even know who that is. And daddy told us about the prostitute movie.

And he told us about the prostitute movie. Daddy told us about prostitution. He also said that the night he got drunk driving over, that he had prostitute in his car. Okay, okay. All right, all right, that's good enough. That's good enough. That's good enough. Thank you, Jack.

Thank you, Jack. I'm loving that, so. Thank you very much. So, now we go over to, oh, so that, no, we're still in the hotel room. Like, then the glam team arrives, justine. Okay. And they come in with like, a rack of red dresses, just like Julia Roberts' famous. And Dorita's still like unhappy. She's like, he wants to put me in a red dress. I mean, I mean, I mean, like, I think he's a thing. I'm an actual designer in stylists.

I was like, oh my god, girl. Definitely beach. I asked if I've ever really breached beach bronzer. I'm an actual stylist. And where's the Beverly Beach bronzer? Oh, give me a fuck. If I'm going to wear this red dress around, I need some Beverly Beach bronzer.

I'm like, well, maybe you should start manufacturing first. But maybe she did want to look at the cheap prostitute and Beverly Beach bronzer was the only thing that'll make it work. Beverly Beach bronzer is the chosen bronzer. If you are a hoker with a heart of gold, who's just been summoned up to the Beverly Wilshire hotel. So, um, she says, well, the last few hours have been anxiety-provoked. No greater anxiety than being whisked away to a four-star hotel and giving true details of private suite. It's even better than being robbed of gunpoin right home.

Apparently. So now P.K. arrives in her rented sports car in a tux at the hotel. And then we see a montage of the history of their big surprises over the years. We have that time they had a party and PK is like, ladies and gentlemen, we know we told you we were having some mode reclamation happening over here, but guess what?

Spoil George. Oh no, we don't have a fungal infection. It's poor George. Remember that everybody never said sorry about the curtains. We have some black mold. Sorry about that. Got a little bit of black mold. We have some You can't have 95 masks And it was so tight. Does he still represent Boy George or did Boy George fire him? Um, I'm not sure but I think that there...no, no, no, they do. No, they do. No, they do because did you see that there's Ronnie showed me this last week that there's some sort of um uh, uh, Peter Pan production that's happening this holiday season with boy George as captain hook Boy George is captain hook and you know who's Wendy

Dorey Look it up in real life in real life. This is a real life production that's happening I'm like boy George is like this Koi Dr. Hook. As in... Where the lion? You see it? Did you look it up? No, oh my god, you're fucking cute. Boy George, Peter Pan. I'm looking up right now. It's Pita Pan. Okay, it's Pita Pan of the UK arena. It's like an... and it's on roller skates too, by the way.

Oh, your kid... this is not real. Wait, first of all, I don't know if this is the thing of my dreams or my nightmares. I think it's both. This is a real, this is a real production. Okay, starring Boy George, and Doreet, and then like lots of other- It's a tour. What's it with the? I'm sorry, I've been swearing so much.

You can swear. You can swear. This is okay. Oh, my God. It's a tour. First of all, hold on. Hold on. Look for your audience that is watching this.

This is the poster. I'll put it up. Okay. Let's, for your audience, that is watching this. This is the poster. I'll put up the poster. Okay, let's see if I can put this up on stage. I'll bond the thing. Okay. And it says, wait, time out.

The world's biggest productions present. Hi babe, we got the world's biggest production ever. Be a pan. Okay, I want you to be Wendy. All right, you're gonna be Wendy. Boards gonna be Captain Hook. I'll be the crocodile. This is review.

Reviews, wait, hold on. Reviews. Oh, there's already been reviews. They described it as Panto meets Cirque. I don't know what Panto is. And Blackpool Gazette editor Vanessa Sins reveals it didn't disappoint. I don't know what Panto is and black pool gazette editor Vanessa Sins reveals it didn't disappoint I don't know anything about UK newspapers, but I certainly have never heard of the black pool gazette I like that someone said it didn't disappoint it could only disappoint if you had any expectations that

We're on boy George arrived on stage to huge applause and a life-size galleon wearing his trademark eyeliner and huge hat. When he belted out car recalculumulate, why is it a jute box musical too? Oh my god. What a de-re-tzing. That's what I wanted. It was clear to me he was in this element. Okay, hold on You said to read was Wendy, right? I believe Dorita's one day. Okay, here we go

Wendy was also brilliant her rendition of my heart will go on while being attacked by Wait, no, let me finish the sentence I'm not going to be a pirate. Wait, no. Let me finish the sentence. Her rendition of my heart will go on while being attacked by pirates with cream pies was faultless. It's faultless. The combination of the description, but with the rapturous theater review is one of the

best things of all time. It was faultless. The way she sang my heart will go on while she's attacked by cream pies by a pot with and from pirates was faultless. With cream pies, why are you cream buying wedding? So that, well, the most terrible thing happened to me. I had just taken out 10,000 pounds from the bank to buy Christmas gifts, as you know, and then all of a sudden, three pirates came up to me and pounded me in the face with cream pies. I couldn't see a thing here when I finally could, when PK finally licked

the dairy off my eyelids. The money was gone. Later, their authorities found it under boy George's massive hat that he's tripping trying to make happen for about 20 years. Oh my god, I cannot believe this is real. Oh, it already, it already, oh look, a blackpool winter gardens through October, okay. Then you can book tickets to MSN, MNS bank, arena, Liverpool, in December. Oh, they have not booked.S. Bank Arena Liverpool in December. Oh, they have not booked. What do you mean, world productions presents? These are all small UK venues.

No one gives a fuck about that. That big said, I hope it comes to LA because I am seeing this. I am seeing it. I am seeing it. I am seeing it. It becomes stateside. It becomes stateside do it go.

A hundred percent I am going. I know, okay. If it comes stateside, do it a go. A hundred percent, I am going. I know, I know. Oh wait, I just got a notification. Hey, they actually did book a venue. It's called the Capri Room in the Bucco de Beppo of Encino. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is so absurd. Sorry, these are the sounds of New York, I apologize. Oh, that's great. Like, and my window is closed, but like, I don't know why in November, men are still driving on the street with their windows down blasting reg in hip-hop and I just don't get it. But anyway, faultless just like as a review by a critic.

It's so perfect. Oh, amazing. It perfect. So amazing. It is. Sorry, I don't know where they stream the office. And as such, the stereo typical rapturous theater critic going to like a community production of Peter Pan on roller skates are in Boy George and television is to reek Kemsley singing songs from the 80s and 90s while they

take cream pies to the face. Faultless. Also cream pie is a porn term and I'm just like, I just kind of like, there's so much happening. And it's all so much more entertaining than the actual three pirates and it's fault. And she's saying my heart will go on and she's singing my heart will go on Okay, so PK's arrived So then they go down so then

the read and PK go down to cut lounge, not to be confused with cut fitness, but this is an actual high-end restaurant in this place. But there are two ports to actually eat anything in Wolfgang Pucks restaurant. So they just stand at the bar while a bartender doesn't sort of doesn't know what to do. He's like, he's like, where's that hand on my camera? And then they go back up to this time they go to like a room that's like a where's my hands on my camera? And then they go back up to, this time they go to like a room that's like a double king suite. And they go up there, they go in. Oh, but first PK does the whole jewelry box thing,

you know, like the, and I think that to read sincerely falls for it, even though it's very obvious what's gonna happen. I think she's surprised. Well, so, here's the thing, and when you say that, I was trying to navigate this in my watching of the episode, like, I'm not attracted to BK, obviously. But like,

Doreet is, and it kind of confounds me. Yeah, I think at this point, my friend was telling a story about how his fiance had horrific appendicitis. Because I remember talking about this, because obviously I might put it down. But his fiance had this terrible appendicitis, and then when she first went to the hospital, they're like, oh yeah, your appendix is really bad, but then they started doing other tests, whatever. And they gave her antibiotics, and then she went home

because it got better, and then she kept on having, like, it kept on flaring up. But every time she went into the hospital, they were like, oh, I wonder what it could be. And they kept on overlooking the fact that she had originally tested for, like, for appendicitis, and they kept on testing her for this gastrointestinal thing, and that gastrointestinal thing.

And I went on for, like, a few years, and every time she'd be, like, in pain, but they would always prescribe antibiotics, so it would get better and just don't think and I went on for like a few years and every time should be like in pain, but they would always prescribe antibiotics so it would get better and just go home. And then finally, like one at one point, a nurse was looking through her charts three years later and said, Oh, hey, like you actually, they said you had a bet like your appendicitis, your appendix was inflamed and people just sort of forgot about that. Like, Oh, yeah.

So they took it out. The point is, as a point, we've just taken for a, we've sort of overlooked the central thing here, which is like, we've gotten so used to it that we just are, we're like those doctors who've sort of forgotten about the central diagnosis. And we're just like, asking all these other questions instead. Yes, because even when they showed their wedding photo,

and Dorit was so much younger, and she's still a very beautiful woman or whatever, but like, PK didn't look any better when he was younger or anything, and we know the money's not real, so I'm like, girl, why are we here? Like, are you letting this gremlin crawl on you yes cuz he's like babe some day your star and some day I'm gonna put you on some

real landscapes get your fool around the board George take a bunch of green past the face gonna sing my heart will god. I'm gonna take over the black pool of theta scene. What? Once he's had to file bankruptcy and shit, like he has the allure wears off, like why are you still there? You know what I'm saying? Like maybe she can leave us.

Well the rumors are that there's trouble in paradise right now. There's trouble in paradise. But like for me, I kind of am just looking at him and I just, I know this might be TMI, but like I just can't picture myself like enthusiastically gagging on P.K. 's dick at all ever. Like I don't know how many pretty women movies you recreate. That's disgusting. Like you know, it's like you look at a jar of mayonnaise and you say, uh, but then you're like, I'll put some on my sandwich.

So she's not begging on the mayonnaise. She's just putting a little bit of a little lubrication. So anyway, so they go. So after they like have a moment where they eat nothing at cut, they go upstairs to their second suite, and PK goes, babe, I wanted to take Gibberth the way, like you do mine, Berlin. And so walking, and I, I love this.

This was hilarious to me because I didn't realize it was actually Berlin. So I was like, oh, they found a random person with a guitar. She looks strong, you for it. She looks so, I don't have a vision in my head of what Berlin ever looked like So but I just love that Berlin is there and yeah, and he just to reiterate to Doreet and the audience It's Berlin No, it's it's definitely here is actually

I don't know. It sort of feels like it's sort of artsy in here, sort of like East Berlin. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, for $10,000, which I can really have and got Berlin babe. She's like, oh, singing a song from a totally different movie, that's great. Exactly, that was another thing too. I was like, isn't Berlin from the Tom Cruise movie? It literally says on screen from Top Gun. We're Rockset. Oh, it's not.

Let's go. We're Rockset's price a little bit too high. I mean, hello, how are you not? I mean, admittedly, that song must? I mean, admittedly that song is, it must have been loved, but it's over now, not a good choice. But like, honestly, what about Go West? Go West is doing nothing.

I'm sure they would have happily flown in to do King of Wishful thinking for you, okay? And it would have been one thing if like, if he brought in Berlin and just like, didn't mention that it was like Berlin. so we could ignore that it was the wrong movie But he demanded Dirty pay attention to the fact that he had gotten this bitch from the wrong movie Like that's the thing it's cool that he got Berlin

But if you're gonna have like a song play just have it from not another movie just have a song make it Yeah, make it anything, but like, don't do another movie. Another 80s classic song. And he tries to make it funny. He's like, well, maybe I'll take different movies and put them together. I like to take the jungle book and put in the godfather and to read, like, do read does that, that voice, but you say, no, I have this. No, I have this. So they sit down, they drink, you know, to have finally have their dinner and PK is like, I'm not going to surprise you anymore. There's too much work.

I paid money for Berlin. And you didn't even appreciate it. You didn't even ask them to play Metro on the Metro, you know. Well, he stopped complaining. That did not cost him more than 20 K Berlin is not out here commanding Taylor Swift prices on the way to rancher kooka munga to play at them Exactly Meanwhile watch that like the leasing of Berlin is playing like the other sister from Peter Pan. He's just recruiting

Exactly come on So Doreet is like upset. She's like, like that he made her like, he's like, babe, I got you glam, why are you so upset? She's like, you think this just happens. Has a lot of effort in putting this on, you know, you can't just slather on the Beverly Beach Bronzer yourself. It's an art, you know.

So yeah, she is saying she just really didn't like the surprise, basically. So, now, let's move on. Once you were control-free as Kyle told us, so... She's a control freak. So, speaking of Kyle, let's move on to Kyle's house. So, it's Portia's birthday party. And Mauricio, we see... For sure, it's so cute.

All of Kyle's daughters are beautiful. Yeah, I mean, that's good Gene. I don't know why I forgot, but they're all very good. They're they're a very good looking family. They're a good looking family. They're a good looking family. So, um, so basically, it's gonna be a Porsche birthday party. And as they're setting up, Kyle is like, Hey, Mo, Emory, Sio's like, oh, hey, love bean. Oh, you're doing and she's also the love bean shit I'm over it. I don't like you moratio. I don't give a fuck about no love bean We never heard this nickname before. What are we doing here? Are you trying to convince me or her or is this your like? Oh, I know my wife doesn't love me anymore let me use affectionate

language what is this love being what is this love being maybe it's just a maybe it's just his accent maybe he's really saying love being as like their their once was love and now Love, love, love, love, love, love like too strong aware, but to like, you know, like, dismiss me and manipulate me into acting differently. All love being you don't have to do that. Love being suck my D. Okay. I don't know what that is. My legume. So the producers are trying to show little like slices of life that illustrate the problems between them. So we see. So she says hi and she says, no, and he says, hi, love being what have you been doing? And Cal goes, you do that to me every time. Like, you

don't see me. And he goes, I'm joking on me. I was like oh Is okay, I guess this was discord And so then Kyle says that lately they've just like they haven't been on the same page and they haven't been in sync and like It's just so rare But like they're just not in sync and then it cuts to Mauricio putting guacamole into a bowl and Kyle saying you need a spoon and he goes okay and then he pours it out anyway and he's like I don't need a spoon and she's like well I'll get you one just scrape it out I was like oh I guess this is terrible. What terrible This relationship is over he managed to get the guacamole out all by himself and refused the assistance to Guacamole is a metaphor for a lesbian that cows in a relationship with

It's just another example how Kyle's been discarded. She's like, I brought a spoon. I brought a spoon and he'd like gravity to you all the work instead. So she's saying that, oh no, he's put his heart and soul into the agency. It's the other woman. So then. Oh no, it's the 19th other woman. There's been other than me before that. We saw you have to yoke up the woman on camera for hugging you, man. Season two wasn't it? Oh, I forgot about that.

That's right at the white party. She's like, close. So then, don't you touch my husband. Don't touch my husband. But then all these people start coming to the house. I'm Risa announces their name. He's like, oh, it's like Joey, Jake, mom. I'm gonna be honest with you.

I was surprised by Gaffa Gami. I don't mean this insulting. I was surprised by how plain looking the people in their friend's circle actually are just because like, both Mauricio and Kyle have done so much to themselves. Like, did you see Mauricio's veneers? I don't know why, but this episode really made them jump out at me. And so like, it was so jarring to see how regular the rest of the people in their life looked. I know, Mauricio looks like he's eating a picket fence for these days.

But yeah, it is actually more of a, but I think these are mainly coming from research side of the family. I think when Kyle Serrich comes over, you get like, Fey Res, Nick, you get Kardashians, you get like any variety of things. So people come over and Mauricio's parents come over and my mom is Estela and Estela is like, she's like, by the way, is everything okay? Like with you and Mauricio, she says it's the Kyle.

She goes, I mean, every time I open up Google, there's like, there's something about you guys separating or divorcing. Like, it's getting to the point where like, you know, I had to text Mauricio and then I said, is everything okay and like, generally I don't believe these things, but this is too much.

This is way too much. So first of all, like ask yourself, why you asking me on camera? Yep. Especially if you already asked your son, why do you need to ask him, you know? And then also, you weirdo nut job when the internet, I don't wanna hear nothing, you say,

have you seen it Twitter feed? I've seen it, I haven't seen to hear nothing you say. Have you seen her Twitter feed? I've seen it. I've seen it. I haven't seen it a long time, but it's been a little nutty for a while now. So I'm like, I just, I just, you don't get to ask me questions when you out here booking out like that. That's right. That's true. If you're asking questions, okay.

So Kyle's like, oh, it's because I was seen without my wedding ring and it started a rumor and and then she's like, I'm very taken aback that my mother-in-law is asking me this right now. As if Kyle doesn't put everyone on the spot all the time. I mean, Kyle's right, but Kyle also does this to everyone and she's like, yes. Yeah, but I'm not going to, honestly, truly. to honestly truly. Do we really give enough of a fuck about Kyle and Mauricio that we noticed that her wedding ring was missing after one workout girl, get the fuck out of my face. You probably walked out of the gym

and was like, hand out like this, like high pop around. See, Kyle does not go anywhere. If Kyle can wear a diamond and show it off, she will, if it was totally intentional. It was totally intentional. And truly, it wasn't until she started the rumors of her dating, what's that singer's name? Morgan Mcmorgan.

Morgan. Yeah, so it wasn't until Morgan that I started seeing Kyle in random paparazzi photos. Truly, I have never seen Kyle caught on a wears anywhere. Yeah. So, the idea that paparazzi would be like catching Kyle coming out the fucking gym and she just happens to have her wedding ring off. Like, give me a fucking break, you know. Yeah, nothing, I don't think anything is accidental

with Kyle. So, so Kyle and Marisa are talking about they're both feeling stressed these days. And like, this is happening while people are going over to the buffet chafers and setting things, like they're everyone serving themselves food. And Marisa knows this is a pile of mail in the corner. He's like, oh, yeah, we gotta clean up that man.

It's like kind of embarrassing. And she's like, yeah, it's a real good time to tell me. I mean, I just told you how overwhelmed and stressed I am. And now you're telling me to clean up the male? Like lady, that's, he just is like, oh my God, we have male. We have a lot of male. We have a lot of male. So then,

and you do have a lot of male. It is a lot of male. And he's realizing like, oh shit, we have company over. We have a lot of male. He's a lot of male. He's realizing like, oh shit, we have company over. We have a lot of male. We got to take care of this. Your house doesn't look dirty to you until somebody's supposed to come see you. That's what my life is. Why are you acting like that's different?

You forgot to call the cleaners this week, Kyle. And that's why you mad because you think he's calling you out when really he just noticed there's a lot of men. And also, like, I kind of feel like maybe on some level, Mauricio is saying that to like slightly loud least that way people are like, oh, it's his way of saying, if you're wondering why we have a stack of male, like our bad, we've got to do it. We're aware, we know we got a stack of male.

By the way, I've found it oddly reassuring to know that Kyle and Mauricio have a stack of male because I always have a stack of mail. I'm so bad There is nothing because I don't remember for was this episode or last episode, but there was a scene with Doree and PK in the kitchen and PK was eating two bags of potato chips Yeah, but there was literally there was literally nothing out of potato chips. But there was literally, there was literally nothing out of place in their kitchen besides the fact that he was eating two bags of chips. So one that was obviously very stage but two is stressing out so much because I know it's unattractive

but I need to see clutter in somebody's kitchen. Please because an uncluttered kitchen causes me so much anxiety. Oh, well, you'd be very stressed. When you start watching Salt Lake City, when they get to Angie K is kitchen because it's like, it's like in Span Queen. Well, it's like, it's like an unlived in kitchen. It will drive you nuts. Oh, no. No, I want to see like a mountain of mail.

Maybe you don't have to have a dirty kitchen, but have a coffee machine that looks like it was recently used or a forkling around or something. Or just like a little can with some pens in it. So, yeah, I agree. Or your mail or your unopened mail on the kitchen counter because it's the first, well, their houses are huge. But it's the first place you're in when you walk into the house, you dump it on the kitchen counter and then you just go.

You just go. And kind of like, I'm like, okay, I got something from Triple A, junk, junk, junk, junk, junk, looks like there's something from insurance. I'll deal with it later. What I do, this is gonna go back to Sander because he doesn't live here anymore and then you just go it on your couch.

Yeah, what I actually sometimes do is I will open my mail and I'll throw out the junk mail and then I'll have the mail that's like, okay, this is important. I should keep this for my little filing cabinet. So I make a little stack and then I put it back in like the bin where I keep the mail. So I have basically a little stack of opened but unfiled mail. So it's like fake, it's f fake dealt with but it's still a stack. So is your like mail ban your mail ban is just, it's opened bills that you're gonna pay later. My mail ban is like, here's a letter from the IRS. Here's like, here's like, hey, you're insurance

policy. No, but I also have mail in there. So I don't check the mail for like six weeks. And then I do check it. And then I, and then I like, and so I have like mail, unopened mail on top of opened and faux organized mail. It's terrible. And then also just your college asking you for money. Oh, that's, no, that's, that's on the recycling bit. That's, I love my college, but I'm like, that's going right. I'm like, university reminding you

that homecoming season is coming. I know. It's like, congratulations. They just built and- Lots of refreshment this year or some shit like that. Dartmouth College just built a street lamp. Would you like to donate? So anyway, so we're at the dinner table

and everyone's eating and Kyle goes, oh, Farah, look at your tattoo, which is a very Kyle way of saying, like I wanna- Oh, childish, too. It's like Kyle saying, I wanna talk about tattoos. She's like, look at your tattoo. So Farah's like, oh, it's not real.

And Kyle goes, oh, she's testing it out. Unlike me. Me. Yeah. Some roots. I was like, and the thing to me, I guess, is like, I don't know. It's so transparent. Like why isn't anyone else at the table being like, why are you acting like a five year old right now? Like they're engaging. They're trying to work this tattoo situation out.

And I would have just been like, bitch, what's your need attention for right now? What's the issue? What's the real issue? Exactly. So then some risos eyes bulge like, oh God, because he knows what's happening. And so Kyle goes, she whispers to Mauricio, do your parents know I have attached you? And you have one too? And he's like, no.

But it's like, again, Kyle's on camera. She knows, even though she's with Spring, she knows she knows it's getting picked up. She's been around the block. She knows how this works. I have a question, though. And you're doing it. So I don't know if Mauricio's family is more strict. First of all, Ben, do you have any tattoos? I have no tattoos, except for...

Is that eight? It's not... Cultural thinking, religious thing, or you just don't feel any... I never, I, well, I never really felt the need. Maybe I want, maybe there's some sort of cultural influence, but I also am like, we've never been able to decide on anything that I want to have in my body for the rest of my life.

Well, for many. I'm like, I have a hard enough time doing, sorting my mail, I'm not gonna be able to figure out something on my body. So I have like, I have three dumb tattoos that I definitely got all before I was 22. Like, it never occurred to me in my adult, for real adults, I'll have to get a tattoo.

But, where I to get a tattoo, once it's one, it's not against Islam, so my parents wouldn't care on a religious level, but like, or maybe it is against Islam, and I just didn't know. But like, my parents, like, I'm not gonna be like a very wealthy, 50-something-year-old person,

anxious that my mother-in-law, or my mom, finds out that I drew on my body. Like, you can all eat a dick. Like, what are we talking about here? He might also be like, uh... I'm not even like here. But you know what though, Ray, Jewish mothers, they... Different ways.

Let me tell you something. This is what he doesn't want to deal with. He doesn't want to deal with, like, months. And his mom's like, well, you know, you have a tattoo. I mean this is Coming from the man who has a tattoo. I mean, I thought I knew everything about my son, but he has a tattoo He didn't want to even tell me He knows it's gonna be a thing. It's never gonna go away. Yada, yada, yada. Okay, okay.

So then, so now Kyle pulls Estella in the kitchen and she's like, hey, I wanna tell you something. You're not gonna like it. I got tattoos and Estella's like, I'm okay. I mean, I don't consider you my real daughter. She's like, I don't, I don't give a fuck about you Kyle. You're you're deeply mistaken Yeah, you're sick so we're still a chick set So cos like you are okay. She's like yeah, where's my son? She's what do you mean?

Because I mean you got tattoo, so it's his name, right? Which I thought was, I loved that power play of like bitch. If you're gonna get tattooed, a better be of my son's name. You better be my man. You better be my son's name. Better be my son's name, because you've been playing too much Katie

laying around this household lately. Even working out and you're so bad, you better got my son's family. You look like you look like you just planted crop somewhere. Okay. Yeah, I thought that was an interesting power play, especially since one of the first things she had done was walk in the house and ask if there was a problem in the marriage, right?

This was, but then when Kyle says no because that's a jinx, it's like, but bitch, you've been married for 30 years. Like what could be a jinx at this point? Yeah. How about the fact that Kyle and Maricia were on the cover of the Not Magazine celebrating 25 special years together? That's what I call a jinx. That's a jinx.

Yeah. I got a gift, I got a promotional box because of that. It arrived in my house. Yeah, it was a box and you opened it up and it was like 25 year strong. Me and Mauricio, it's like audio that came out. And then it was like a shot ski and there were glasses and there was the magazine and there was

Let me tell you something it was a great box. It was a great box I will happily support Kyle's marriage if it means I get more boxes like that because that was great Kyle's my support in her marriage. She don't want no boxes no more But this was but by the way this was Kyle's counter Estella says, like, what's going on with your marriage? And she's like, it's fine. This is Kyle saying, okay, you want me to scrim on camera? Now you're gonna, now you're gonna scrim because I have tattoos.

So Estella's like, Estella's like, uh-uh, you're not gonna catch me. You're not gonna catch me. She's like, I don't care. Did you put his name on you? Did you put his name on you? Like, God, I don't care. Did you put his name on you? Did you put his name on you? Like, God, isn't it? It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. So Kyle's like, no, no, I didn't. And it's a jinx. And it's like, oh, well, you know, and she goes, oh, when I know the girls have one, she's like, I know, I know. I'm, you're trying to out-fox me,

but you can't out-fox me. Yeah. So then Kyle's like, oh yeah. Did you know your son has one? So it's like, huh. She Did you know your son has one? So the cell is like, huh. Oh. She got it.

She didn't get it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. The cell is airplane in the movie. Like the like now they're smoking out of the wing. She's like, I've been hit, I've been hit. Take my breath away. Berlin. But like, honestly, though, did you like, I, I, I just having such a hard

time. I know this is all very stupid, but like, I'm really truly having a hard time wrapping my head around my 70 something mother freaking out because I have a tattoo that's clearly so unnoticeable that I've never seen it before. Well, maybe it's because Marisi, maybe on some level, maybe Estella doesn't like Kyle, maybe Estella never accepted Kyle. That's why we're doing Kyle. And Marisi is between the two of them.

And so like, he knows his mom's gonna be like, she's a bad influence and you know what? Like she's cheating on you and you should leave him and he probably doesn't want, like, or you should leave her. He probably doesn't want to hear it and that Kyle has given Stella more ammunition and it's the last thing she wants to deal with. He wants to deal with.

Okay, okay, because I was trying to find out the dynamic because the way that the mom felt so comfortable asking her about the marriage on camera, it didn't feel like a genuine, like good relationship. It did feel like a, I already talked to my son, but you told me that she's a psychiatrist. She is a psychologist, she knows. That's true, because it didn't,

because she's a psychologist. Oh my god. Isn't she a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Can you imagine that crazy lady in charge of your brain? Oh no. I should double check that before I do, but I'm pretty sure she is, yeah. Oh my god, that's terrifying.

But like, yeah, it didn't feel like a warm dynamic is what I'll say. No. So now they light the cake for Portia and Kyle. Kyle is so, this is, I mean, Kyle is so ridiculous, but she goes to, she tells Mauricio, she leans and says, oh, I told your mom that you have a tattoo. And he's like, what is wrong with you?

What? Why would you do that? Why would you? And so she's like, He's got some way right. Like, why would you do that? You weirdo. And now it's a joke.

Now it's a joke. I was just, I took it back. I mean, I took it. And then she's like, oh, like why would you do that? You weirdo. And now it's a joke. Now it's a joke. I was just, I took it back. I mean, I took it. And then she's like, oh, like what? And then, and then she's like, she's like, I mean, she doesn't care. And he's like, but why would I not be allowed to say that? Like, what is up with that?

That's like my body, my choice. And she's like, after me and just told her that she's not allowed to get more tattooed. So like, I'm like, what do you mean my body, my choice? That's true. So then Kyle's like, well, she noticed a tattoo on, but then by the way, she was the one who did say it's my

body. I'll do what I want with it. So it goes both ways. So Kyle's like, well, she noticed a tattoo on me. And then I said, like, I said, like, you have one, but maybe don't, I said, maybe don't. So I don't know, which is like literal lie from Kyle. So stupid, right? And't they literally flash back to them seeing the moment and she doesn't say that. She says, did you know that Marie-Sue has a tattoo? It was.

So then Kyle, so then he walks away and then she says, oh, well, now he's mad at me. I mean, I realized she meant him. Like, I said, like, like, like, she basically is talking about how she tried to cover. Like, maybe I saw it, maybe I didn't, and I don't know. I don't think that she really believes it. But now she's's try now she's doing that thing where she appeals to someone else like always mad at me for me

so Thank you when all you were trying to do was make him mad It's a thing like well That's that's how she operates. She'd like to get people mad and then when they got mad She's like well, I feel bad or I shouldn't have opened my mouth or Or like, no, I'm the bad guy. Now they're mad at me. She like fires and retreats. But this time, it doesn't even just feel like firing. Because you remember, she goes into the confessional

and she's like, sometimes a marriage is amazing. Like you love every single thing about them and you love whatever. And then sometimes everything about them annoys you. So it's like, you're clearly not just like about them and you love whatever and then sometimes everything about them and noise do. So it's like you're clearly not just like in an antagonistic relationship with your rival on a reality TV show. Like you were really trying to piss this man off because you were in real life upset with

him. But also, it hasn't didn't you do this exact same thing to Kim and to Kathy. Doesn't this isn't this her M.O.? Like, no pun intended, her MO. But isn't this kind of what she does? And I think that she's always had someone that she just rattles. So then Kyle is like, she does the thing like,

why did I open my mouth? And then she goes up to Mauricio and she's like, well, she doesn't know for sure that you have a tattoo. I don't want to talk about it. It's not about that. It's not, it's mine to talk about, not the new one that I was just saying. Also, bitch, this is our 15-year-old's birthday party. Like, what are you doing? So, cause, like, you know, when people talk about going through a tough time, this is it. Here we are are a tough time and

Tough time is a birthday party and you mentioned to his psycho mom and you have a This on a tough time. That's a situation you created There are people who are going through tough real tough times people who bring $10,000 in to best buy I'm getting burgled. It's not my pirates. Who would bring fire and steal 10,000 and the TV out of her car? Some people are just trying to stand on an Apple car and distribute thousands of dollars to the street urchins while they sing my heart will go on and they get assailed by literal pirates on roller skates throwing cream pies in their face. And Captain Cook may or may not tell you up to a radiator and beat your ass for three days.

That is the real story of a pretty woman. Come on. I mean, like, obviously, like, listen, if your marriage was smooth or relatively smooth and it's different now when you're discovering things about yourself or whatever, fine, that might be true, but you're gonna confuse all of us and actually minimize our capacity or limit our capacity for empathy when you deny that anything's wrong, you trivialize that there are big things going on in your marriage. And then the things you harp on are these ridiculous things that make you look like a rebellious asshole, you know?

Like, you just look like an obnoxious teen, you know? It's just really fucking dumb. That's the thing. That's how it's coming up. And like, there's a way to do this where you don't look like the teen and people be totally on your side, but there's something very... Kyle about this all. look like the teen and people be totally on your side, but there's something very Kyle about this all. And I know and again, I want to be clear that I understand that there's this like Jewish tradition

part of the tattoo of it all, but like of all things to suddenly get rebellious about it's a fucking tattoo and piercings like bitch, come on, I did this 25 years ago, I'm 35. Yeah, like, the tattoo rebellion just feels like it's so like, 1987, but I don't know. It's so tried. Come on, it's like so, it's so cliche. Like, oh, I drew on my body to make a statement because nobody could tell me what to do.

Okay, it's really important. She really wants to rebel, she's start up in only fans. So. Oh, come on, baby. He's gone. Okay. So anyway, after this whole tattoo thing happens, then basically they are like, oh, I guess we still

have 10 minutes of air time. So we watch a very long segment of the women all packing, the women going to like band-knies, airport. Erica shows up in a big green outfit with like a snake skin outfit. She goes, yeah, it's a little pimping, but here I am. I was like, wow. She's so current. And then...

Where's she getting some money from, by the way? I know that no one mentioned that part this season yet, but she looks pretty good in my opinion. Well I got a beat on some damn who's that. CVS at $10,000 to spare. That's a long to say about that. I'm like running out of big box stores now I just spat all over my microphone disgusting. Okay, so they all get they all fly to Las Vegas and they're cheers and I there's not it the it's basically segways into coming up next week which is sudden freaking out at Magic Bike Live so there's no use going over this stuff the real climax was the tattoo so that really brings us to the end of the

episode oh wait no wait oh yeah there are red phantoms waiting for all the women when they landed in Las Vegas. I feel like half the woman did not know what a red phantom is. Yeah, I was like, what? It sounded to me like Garza was just repeating it because Erica said it. Dread's like, ooh, tickets to Phantom of the Opera.

Sishing. Is that on Rolarskate's also? Oh, she's gonna get get cream pie by the Phantom. Instead of in my version of the Phantom, the Opera, instead of a chandelier falling on the stage, it's just a giant cream pie. Faultless. When the cream pie fell from the ceiling as Derec Kemsley was singing Katharine Cooley song, everything changes. It was faultless. Truly faultless.

Oh my god. Oh my god, Ray. Thank you so much for coming onto this episode. And just like, it's all good. It was so fun to reconnect with you. You were so funny. I love your takes because they're almost, I would actually like 99% always like deeply accurate like I never was able to look at Porsche the same after not this Porsche but Porsche Williams. After we had we did an episode once and you're like Porsche's a con or something like that and I like I never was it. I was like you always convinced me you always take me to your side. So I'm just good at arguing. I'm probably wrong.

No, you have a great read on people. You really do. Is there anything you want to like promote or chill or anything like that? No, listen, I'm just working. Look, we just got back off strike. I just got back to work. So I'm hyper focused on my day job and affording my life again. So like, stand up and stuff is gonna take a back seat and I'm maybe gonna dip in and out of watching reality TV. I really just need to recover. And then, I don't know, maybe next year, I'm gonna pop out with some plastic surgery

and you guys are gonna think, I'm amazing. Wow, well, I just to let you know after this, I'm going to get your name tattooed on my body. Oh, wow. Wow. It's a fish. You're hummed up. You're mad about it.

It's a fish. So thank you so much for being here. We appreciate it so much. And everyone, we will catch you on the next episode when Ronnie will be back with many, many tales of Bravo Con. I'm sure everyone have a wonderful weekend. Catch you all later. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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