Watch What Crappens - #2224 Below Deck Med: The Toxic Avenger

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

The interior team on Below Deck Med (S0808) is one of the most toxic we’ve seen, and everyone is at fault.  But it’s hard to top Kyle, who berates Jessica and then flops on the floor in a puddle of anxiety.  It’s anger inducing.  And great TV.Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference

in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how a Prince without direction became a duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm doing great because we are going to wonderful. What'd you say?

Wonderful. Oh. I thought you'd start saying something about a bell. Like I rang a bell or something. But I am excited because we're doing below deck med today. Even though we said we're putting it on the back burner. Kyle is so toxic and so deeply evil and manipulative, we just knew we had to call him out. We have to use this platform for good

and spread the news, spread the word that Kyle is a terrible co-worker. So here we are doing a below deck med recap. Also, by the way, thank to everyone who showed up for crappy hour last night. We have so much fun. We have so much fun doing it. So if you missed it, it's still on our Instagram, but it's up every two weeks. We do it every two weeks.

So come join us for the next one. And I don't know, Ronnie, what's going on with you? What's on your mind? Nothing, I'm very excited for a little blow deck. Hiction. I know. Well, should we just dive right into it then? Yeah, let's get in. I have no life to talk about. I have a dog. It's getting to be winter. Wow. It's getting dark early.

You know, I like when it starts changing weather and then we all are obligated to be like, Oh, can't you believe it's getting dark so early? Isn't this crazy? I'm just not used to it being dark so early Every single year. You know, it's like the circle of life. It's like our planet, you know Just people wandering around. This is what humans do every time that the time changes we go Can you believe it started to get dark so early? Just not used to getting dark so early We're never not amazed by this phenomenon every year. And I really am.

It really does fuck you up. I don't even understand what this whole daylight saving bullshit is. Like what is it supposed to do? It's just torture you all winter. Why would you do that? Yeah. Well technically we're actually not in daylight saving time. You always think of daylight saving time would happen in the winter because there's less

sun. But actually daylight saving time is what we just got out of. It's a deal like dealing time. You always think a daylight saving time would happen in the winter, because there's less sun. But actually daylight saving time is what we just got out of. It's a dealing time. It's a dealing time. It's a dealing time. Joy-roving time. And I actually like the dark, but now I'm older. And so I know that once it hits dark, then I have a certain amount of hours before I fall asleep on the table, or in the car, or on the street, wherever I happen to be. I'm an old person now. You can't just be like, oh, guess what? Now you have to be awake two more hours after it, you know, later than normal. No, you can't or four hours is something. What the fuck? You see, and I said

I'm sick of talking about it. I don't want to make an entire episode talking about it. No, I'm mad about it. Let's, hey, let's instead of talking about daylight savings time, let's talk about hug light savings time with Captain Sandy. Okay, let's save some hug hours, all right? Because this episode, the episode was wild. So last week, we didn't recap it, but basically, first thing is that Sandy fell over. She was helping Luca move something

and then she tripped and fell and she went off to the hospital to get her wrist checked out and then you had the the the the the the stews They're totally dysfunctional. You know, I came into the season I you know I do really love to me, but I think at this point I have to now like say she's doing a terrible job as chief stew She's not managing these personalities say what you will about Natalia or Natalie last year, but It wasn't Natalie no Natasha last year She leaves you keep she leaves she kept Kyle and Natalia semi in check semi even though they still were mess

But this season it's just a disaster with this entire crew. No this entire deck team. I mean I'm the disaster. Yeah, I have to say, you know, she, it's dudes. There's one thing, it's not easy to be given Natalia and Kyle. That is, no. Anybody's personal hell, and anybody who's ever been in any kind of managerial position.

I mean, this is just bloody hell. They're both terrible human beings. Well, I think Natalia's not a terrible human being, but she is terrible when she's not on your side. You know what I mean? Kyle is a terrible human being. Kyle is terrible. I'll stand by that one.

He's a terrible human being. So I get that that's not easy, but yeah, to me is not only like, mishandling it, she's fanning the flames and starting shit. Like, what are you do in? And she always says that she thrives in chaos, but I think what we're seeing though is that she also enables the chaos, so that way she can thrive in it.

But Natalia, so my takeaway from this episode is, Kyle is evil, he's manipulative, he's like, he's underhanded, and he is rude, and he's abusive. Natalia is also not good either, but the thing is, I feel like Natalia has a strong sense of justice, but the thing is that she doesn't always get it right for where she's trying to find the justice,

and that's her big problem, because she always, Kyle tries to make it seem like Natalia is the one who's manipulating and trying to affect this whole situation sort of behind the scenes. But I don't think she really is. I think she thinks she's doing the right thing, but she just always kind of gets it wrong. You know? I have to disagree.

I mean, I don't know what she's thinking but she is so fucking toxic. I mean, all she does is go behind, to me back and I'm trying to spread. Yeah. You know, all she, am I talking about the wrong person? No, no, you are. No, she is toxic about to me for sure. She's toxic.

Yeah, she's the worst. I think she's terrible. Kyle, I don't know why Kyle's worse. He's just, he just seems to have an evil. I think you're right, Natalia thinks that, like I did such a good job, and I can't believe this person didn't like me when all I was trying to do was a good job.

And I like, I want them to like me, but they don't like me, so I'm gonna be toxic and try and ruin them. But you know, she's kind of like, I think like her sense of justice thing is probably correct. And she uses, and she, this is where her toxicity is that she uses toxicity because in her mind she is trying to write a wrong. But for Kyle, he's toxic in the purpose of like pitting people against each other for

his advancement and to hide his laziness. And I feel like if we have to choose a toxicity, like Kyle's is the more insidious version. Oh, he sucks. And he's also does that thing that I just hate when people are called out and then suddenly it's like, everyone's so awful to me. I'm so sorry for trying to hurt everybody. And he's just, and then he's got some deadly illness. And then he's, I know, he just can't work anymore because he hurt everybody. And he's just, and then he's got some deadly illness,

and then he's got all his. He just can't work anymore because he hurt myself. I mean, just horrible, this guy is horrible. And by the way, this is his third charter. It's his third, this is halfway through, he's been through two and a half charters. He missed the first one. He did two and a half charters,

and he's already laid out on the floor with a legit anxiety because the season is getting to him. What, the season, you've only, it's like, no, that's ridiculous. You can maybe pull that move on episode 16. Okay, after you've done six charters in a row, but after two and a half, no sir, you do not get that. Yeah, he's the worst. And it's also, by the way, from the fact that the charter group is a group of ladies, and Kyle has no interest in women. He has no interest in women unless he can be on like a friend level with them and he can be at the center of attention, where he can be just like the fabulous gay best friend. But in terms of like being a servant to women,

he hates that. And so he wanted to be in housekeeping so we didn't have to even talk to women. And so he tried to push this whole thing where he was like, oh, I don't know, I said Jake. So all being housekeeping and then jizz, you're gonna do what you're gonna do beyond service. And then to me was like, no,

that's not how it's gonna work. And then came this whole ridiculous battle of manipulation that happened last week, that culminated in basically, God, what are the roots of it? Well, basically last two, just before we even go all the way there. You kind of have to give the causes of this, yeah.

This is Natalia and Kyle both being disgusting, right? Because Natalia took it when she said, hey, you're going to do whoever said, hey, Jess, you should be lead. And then to me kind of laughed and was like, no, then Natalia takes that and it's like, oh, really? She doesn't lock you at all. Because when it was mentioned that you should do service, she laughed like it was just ridiculous like you're too stupid to do it. I mean, she's just terrible. And then Jess is not the brightest.

So she's just like, oh, what? She's just going to be mad at whoever they tell her to be mad at. Yeah. Jess gets angry at people from manipulating her when she's like very easily manipulated. So then Jess goes up to to me if I remember correctly and was like, why are you like, like were you laughing at me? It makes me feel bad and she was like, no,

I was just laughing because Kyle wanted to get out of work and I wasn't gonna let him get out of work. And I think in this conversation, Jess said something along the lines of like, it's just that sometimes Kyle makes me feel really green because there was a conversation with Kyle that happened in the episode where she made her feel this way. So she just says this thing.

And then to me, which is where to me goes wrong each and every time, she goes and tells Kyle, oh, yeah, this is what's going on. And Jess said that you sometimes make her feel green. Yes. And then Kyle goes off on Jess. Like, first of all, of all the things to say about somebody, like, that guy makes me feel like I'm really green.

That could mean, wow, he's so good at his job, I just always feel green. That guy can do everything. And now look at me, feeling, it's not a bad, really thing to say. It's like, he makes me feel green. So what? Like, he makes me feel like I could be better at my job.

Ooh. Compared to the nasty things that Kyle says about everyone behind their backs, what Jeff said was so benign and such a nothing. And so he goes up and she's cleaning and he goes up and it's like, how could you do that? I've had your back. This entire time I've had your back and I've done everything for you. I've been the only one who stood up for you and this is how you would pay me. This is what you do. You'd make it sound like I'm condescending to you, blah, blah, blah. He goes in. First of all, he's not only gonna... You get a woman again.

Like how many times are you gonna get away with that? Like some guy screaming at a woman. That's disgusting. I don't care if he's gay. I don't do that, do you? And then also makes me think of, you know, the stereotype like, oh, Game Man are misogynists and I hate that, obviously, like, oh, game man, I'm a sages and game man,

I hate that, obviously, because I'm a game man, and like, I worship women, obviously. So, like, my whole life is built. Like, yes, making fun, but also a huge fan, you know? Huge fan, and so I always think like, that's not, I don't like that, I hate that stereotype, but then you see people like Kyle, he's just awful. He treats women like this He's constantly pitting them against each other. Then he's like, oh, I hate women like oh, I can't wait on women

They just horrible horrible bases. It's like have you looked at yourself? You are the worst sir the absolute fucking worst I hate this guy and then screaming at Jess who's like beyond being a woman She's one of the sweetest people ever to be on this show So, but it literally does whatever they tell her to do without any complaints She rises to every occasion and then he's screaming at her going What would you tell him? The horn my back coil makes me feel great. That makes me feel like coil be little swing Which you weren't doing it right now when you were doing it right now. You were trying to manipulate her and to being dumb enough to do your job

because you don't wanna have to wait on women. You were massive. And that was what was so, also, so venal about it was the way he was telling Jess like, I was trying to promote you. I was trying to advocate for you so that way you could be on service. It did not come from a place of advocating. You wanted to get out of work and you made a joke.

If you were really advocating, you should say, listen, I think Jess should be on service. I would love to have a backseat, this charter, and do some housekeeping and just have a chill. And I think this would be a great opportunity also for Jess because she also wants service. He didn't say any of that. He was not advocating whatsoever.

And for him to stand act like he's the only one who's had just his back, when Natalia, believe it or not, Natalia has actually had just his back. She was the one who was saying, like, you know, like, Jess and I did this all together. I'm not trying to advocate for Natalia here, but like Kyle acting like no one's had just his back is actually pure manipulation.

And it's like almost like emotional abuse, if you ask me. It was just like so uncalled for. And for him to get so mad about just saying anything behind his back, that's what he's really going hard in the pain for. You spoke behind my back. When that is literally all he does,

and all the drama at the beginning of the season was whipped up by him spreading half-truths behind everyone else's back, is so obnoxious and that's why he's mad, right? Because like, he gets mad at... He basically, he projects when someone is like based doing the thing that he does, he projects it outwards and it was just like so... He gets furious whenever he doesn't get his way. Or when he senses that someone's gonna find him out or whatever, he just freaks the fuck out. Yeah.

So he's just screamed at her, by the way, she's kneeling at the tub. So he's literally standing over her, screaming at her. And he just storms out of the room and she's like, fucking drama. And then Matt's like, what the hell, just he peent? And it's like, how's the littlest thing being projected on me when there's like

a bigger thing is happening. I'm just like, is so confused. So Kyle goes up to to me and he's like, well, I just think that it's low jazz because I've been promoting him to be on service for you. I thought I'd say that that really hurts me. What are you talking? Listen, listen, you were not promoting anyone, okay? You are an obnoxious piece of trash. Also, Tumi knows that this is bullshit, and he's just trying to get out of doing his job. Yes. So it bothers me that she doesn't say,

first of all, why are you screaming at people? That's not your place. And you shouldn't be fighting with the other stews. You shouldn't be trying to promote anybody. I'm the chiefs too. But instead, she's like, well, moving forwards, whatever regards any person, like any, whatever regards any person should just be spoken

to that person directly. No, no, it should not. You were the boss. He should not be going to anyone to speak to them directly. That's bullshit. And you shouldn't be enabling some man to scream with a fucking woman. Now, I don't know that she even heard him screaming

at the woman, but the fact that he's even confronting anyone when you're the boss is just bad. It's just bad. it's just bad. It's so bad. So then to me now, then Rideo's just to see if she's had the captain's or are going and Natalia's like, oh, I love how she doesn't even ask me about it. Because the other thing that happened was that last week,

Natalia was sort of going through an emotional, she was going up and down with her stupid, open-related storyline and she was like, you know, really feeling really low and maybe thinking about leaving the boat and then of course, and to me makes a joke at one point says, good, she can go. And she says this, of course, right to Kyle, but shockingly it's not Kyle who blows us up, it's actually Laura who blows us up and goes to Natalia and says to me, make this joke. So then Natalia is like, I thought we'd get in of a new page.

I thought we'd get in of a new page. I thought we'd do it in a new page. So now they're angry at each other all over again. Which also another terrible move on to me is probably. Terrible. What the fuck are you doing? You have to keep her mouth shut close when it comes to like her feelings about the people who work under her.

She should not be making snarky jokes to other people who are below her. So Kyle's still going off the couch. So, I'm not afraid to anybody, I'm not afraid to one fucking person on this, but like no one has done anything to this guy. God, you still got to explain that. So then, the least trustworthy person,

he is the most duplicitous of them all, but this is what people like Kyle do, is that they turn their flaws, and they project the outward onto other people, and they make themselves seem like they're like the innocent victims when they are the biggest perpetrators of the things that they are accusing other people of doing. I cannot believe how mad I am. I'm only like in the first 30 seconds of this episode. So Matt and Luke are talking and Matt's like you know like knowing my partner fitness, who hold another woman is I can't with this story either.

Like a fucking Natalia. Natalia. A stupid open relationship. Nobody cares. Nobody cares about this stupid thing. And I think she's just like, oh my god, look, head desirable. I am, you know what I'm with, like I'm with this guy

and he just wants an open relationship and then I can't, this guy, but do I or don't, it's just, but also like dump this guy, this guy's he just wants an open relationship with the guy and I can't this guy but do why you're down to it's just but also like dump this guy the guys are piece of shit because Natalia kiss like kiss Luca and the guy freaked out and then the guy had full on sex with someone and then it's expecting Natalia to be cool with it so Natalia dump his ass he's lame well that's how guys like that work, right? They make you feel so lucky that you even get to be around someone who's that desirable. Yeah.

So Kyle is stressing, is texting, stressing is probably the right thing. Texting is boyfriend about hysteresis. And then the chef, now another thing that's been going on. So the captain was like, okay, guys, now listen, we've got a lot of ladies now. I want you to be very careful because temptation island's coming. It's coming here now. I know that studs like a chef jack over there.

Wow, what a stud. It's gonna be rough for them to keep their hands off you, okay? You're basically like a chicken finger in a, in a kid's party, okay? People are not gonna be able to keep their crappy little fingers off of you. Stud. Okay, yeah, it's gonna be like five nights at Freddy's

and the machines are the women. So you better be careful, okay? So it's like, oh yeah, it's real difficult being so hot, you know, hot cold is women. Yeah, it's real difficult being so hot, you know. Hot cold is women, yeah, they are always wanna get with the shift, you know how it goes. So good luck to me, not hooking up with what are these fun ladies from all right.

Okay, okay, Jack. Yeah, sure. So the girls go into the, there's two of the girls go into the galley and they're like, your third is so fucking good. Oh my god, hey, what are we gonna have for dinner tonight? And he's like, well, tonight I'm gonna be making some homemade tortellini's to start with

and she goes, stop it! Stop it! Oh my god, I'm pretty late! I'm trying to let it! I'm doing it. They like how gone there, and he's like, these women really seem to be going off her part.

It's almost like Bitalania, like I'm the fifth Bital. You know I'm also from Liverpool, but... Get out! First you say you've got tortellini, then you're from Liverpool? Stop it! Oh my god, promise me you're gonna have dessert with us tonight. Oh my god, please, just hang with us! He's got a point, they really are totally in love because he's a chef.

But they're actually really funny. I think these girls are hilarious because they're kind of doing what I would do. Like that's what I would do. I'd be like, wait a second, you're making tortellini. Get out, yeah, start a little eating. Can I sit downstairs? Can I sit at the groom's ass?

Because then Max is there. And Max is like, oh, bonjour. This is where I do the dishes. So they're like, I'm like, oh, can we see like you're wearing like you hang out. So Max takes them down to the crew mess. And they're like,

oh my god, this is so cool. Look at that succulent. This is crazy. Can we see a room? So they, then he takes them into the room and they're like looking at his room like,

oh my god, like this where poor people stay. This is a made, are you reading a book? What's that book about? It's about sex. He's reading a book about sex and he's highlighted it. Oh my god. Oh my god, you're highlighting a book? What's that book about? It's about sex. He's reading a book about sex and he's highlighted it. Oh my god.

Oh my god, you're highlighting a book about sex. Max. And he's like, oh, yes. The last tell is to six book. He's like a two thousand years of specializing six energy, you know? Is it a calculation of man? It is not orgasm.

It is there's ejaculation. There's orgasm. It is two different things. Yes, I have to be careful because this is my first time having a chateurgy and sexy blonde smiley, they have the belt of the abel you know, but you know me too, I want to buy something, you know what I'm saying? Rararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar when the whole town is still singing and he realizes that there's more Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know, it hits me right in the fields. Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring The Grinch, and I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it, Ronnie. Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, The Grinch.

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Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So then someone's lost their radio and gee let's just take a guess. Who would that be? It's Max! It is Max! It's Max! It's Max! It's Max! I feel like a banana inside a baboon's gauge, you know? Like, no, I don't. What are you talking about? Because the girls just think he's so hot.

That's how I took it. And look, it's like, you know, I just want to smish him, but I can't stop myself from laughing. He works off positive reinforcement. And you know, he does make people happier because he's funny. So, if he wasn't funny be dead that's for sure. I love how the content of positive reinforcement is just like such a strange wacky idea to Luca like I just love how like there's like people in like yachting like all the deckeys

in the history of blow deck. They just don't do positive reinforcement so the fact that finally someone cracked the code, like, wait a second, there's such a thing as positive reinforcement that I can do. This is wild. What is strange to do technique? So now Kyle is vacuuming, just as Kyle does.

He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, vacuuming. He is. And, um, so just past them, I'm like, how are you doing, guys? Get out of my feet. She's like, Kyle, I didn't mean it malicious. He's like, your malicious heel. Luscious, you guessed up to me against me.

And your dudes were, I made you feel like a greens dude. That means I'm making you feel lower than you actually are. And lower than what you're capable of doing, which I've never done. I'm like, you're a Louis screaming out and liver than what you're keeping you doing which I've never done. I'm like you're a little screaming at it right now. You're actively doing it right now as you speak. That's what I'm trying to communicate to you right now in Cologne.

He's like, oh man, you're running an English speaker. I'm an English speaker. Our communication is perfect. Here's my heartbearing soul. Am I very angry right now? Oh, I am. I'm gonna say things I mean. I don't mean right now.

Yes, cause I'm very emotional. How do you say our communication is perfect and then say I'm gonna say things I don't mean. That is literally the definition of bad communication. Do what you sit and take it. That's our communication. I scream at you and then you sit there and take it. You mind that's perfect communication. So she's like, okay, well, I guess I'll just let you

go through. It's like, and I'm very hurt because I thought you were there for me. You know, I was there for you since day one. I'm so hurt by this type of thing. How has Kyle been there for her since day one? He's barely even acknowledged her. Like, no one even knew what just was until about like 36 hours ago. knowledge shirt, like no one even knew Jess was until about like 36 hours ago. So then Jessy is now, Jess is now crying. She's crying in Tumey's arm, Tumey, who kind of helped start all this. I'll go with you. By the way. So Tumey's like, what's wrong? She's like, Kyle snapping at me. She just went, did this happen now? Yes, Tumey, you know? Yes, right now. And then Laura, Laura goes into interrupt because the guests want cocktails.

And so then Lara, you know, of course, Lara steps away because there's drama happening. And she's like, when you guys are done, do we have leechi martinis? Please, what are you done? So, so just kind of listening because Lara is also a shister, right? So, just as like, I mean, I don't take men yelling at me very well because I didn't have a father figure growing up because my mom had me at 16 and then I never met my biological dad.

So like having a strong male personality screaming on my face is just not something I'm used to. Okay, first of all, I'm really sorry about that backstory because that is sad. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you're fucking backstories. Like, I don't care if you did have a dad that's screaming in your face.

This is not okay. It's not because you're not used to it. It's because a guy should not be there screaming in your face. And now I'm not screaming in your face. I'm screaming away from your face. Yeah, we're just screaming in a general diffused area but not directed in someone's face.

Yeah, it's not normal. You're just your experience is proper. It's not normal. You shouldn't have a man screaming in your face even if you have a father. That's not how it's supposed to work. Don't feel bad about that. So Laura is talking to Hailey. And she's like like I'm finding out

the tea. Apparently she went to Tumi to complain about Kyle and said that Kyle makes me feel like a green stew and Haley's just saying, dude, you feel like a whole team's falling apart. Bob, that was me. It's funny. They're like a reverse tugboat, like just the worst. So yeah, she's like, yeah, this is like, definitely not what I was expecting and yadding and I like the chaos and the drama. It just reminds me of like middle school. It's like fucking stupid. I'm like, meanwhile it's also like such a good episode.

So then Kyle and Tumir are talking and Tumir is like, okay, he is the thing. He's like, no, let me hear you. And then I'll talk if it because I know where this is going. I'm like, yeah talking and to me is like, okay, he is the thing. He goes, no, let me hear you and then I'll talk if it because I know where this is going. I'm like, yeah, that's how a conversation happens. She's gonna talk, then you'll talk, okay? So she, so then to me basically says, okay, Jess is gonna do service with me tonight

and then you're gonna be on housekeeping and then when she goes to bed, then we'll be together and you guys gonna avoid each other and if you see her speak nicely. And I was like, see, this is the thing, he gets what he wants, which is that ultimately he gets out of doing service and he gets to do housekeeping. And she knows it.

She knows that she's giving them, that's what making me crazy. And how about telling him, don't yell at women and stop trying to get out of your doing your goddamn job by manipulating the situation by getting just on service? Yeah, which just fucking worked. So to me, it's like, you know, people forget that Kyle is like a toddler.

Beat your toddler. You know what I mean? Smack your child. If your child is putting his hand to the stove, smack the hand away. Okay, if your child is screaming in the back seat and throwing things at your head while you're trying to drive, pull the car over and spank your goddamn toddler.

Or just don't have a toddler as your second suit. So then, so she's not another good point. Yeah, I dolds do not get that. Oh my God, you just have to be nice to him because they're like a toddler. That's called being fired. Yeah, toat him. So she wants just, she just wants Jess to feel safe and, and she goes, I need Kyle to know he cannot speak to her that way. And how are you showing that? Where is, where is the, where is the water gun to the nose? Okay, that's what he needs. Meanwhile, somewhere else on the boat,

Nitalia is like, oh my God, you have a feeling, it's not being with other women, there's an open relationship. Which I can't. So then we go to Tumay and Jess. Jess is like, what did you say? And she's like, I just said be nice. Be nice when you speak, which you actually didn't.

Really say. Really shouldn't see it. So she's like, and I feel like it was just the wrong time because everyone's emotions are heightened. So just do dinner with me tonight, so we're together and not mixing, you know? I'm very proud of you, I know it's hard. I know it's hard.

Yeah, so then Max is making some jokes about Britney Spears and like Michael Jackson. And so, I get this. No, Max goes, so he's helping Laura out of the water and he goes, what is the name of that girl in the movie? She goes, Britney Spears. What the fuck movie are you two talking about? And then he goes, he goes, what is the name of that girl in the movie? She goes, bit me spears. But the fuck movie are you two talking about? That's what I cross.

And then he goes, he goes, yeah, and Michael Jackson. That was good movie, she goes, yeah. I would love to see that movie, whatever it was. I don't think it exists, but like a movie with Britney Spears and Michael Jackson, you know, wish we could have had it. So then Laura's basically saying that she likes Max now. Now she's like, oh, he's growing up. Yes, he's a good heart. And you know, and she goes,

and he reads books, who reads books? Which was funny because we found out earlier what sort of book it was. So then to me is having Natalia set up a casino theme. It seemed like even though they had a big fight last week, it seems like they're like generally okay at the moment, not like great, but they're like fine. So they're like setting stuff up and there not like great, but they're fine. So they're setting stuff up and there's going to be a booze cruise tonight and the boys are going to be wearing vest with no shirt on, the usual kind of thing. Not a sad thing like other men have to be sexy to get a bigger tip. It's Casino and I.

Natalia says, I'd like to be a piece of slomine this men sandwich. If you know what I'm saying, it's almost my boyfriend's okay with it. What we're doing in open relationship. So, well he is. That's what I'm saying. I'm just gonna push her overboard. Overboard.

So then the girls are coming down. This girl Amanda, she's like really drunk. She got a little green hat on. And she's like, guys, this is amazing. You have to tell me if my chips come out, and I'm sad. So then the captain comes back and they're wooing for her. And she's like, well, guys, it's a fracture. I fractured it.

The good news is he didn't have to set it. You know, I've got a high tolerance of pain. I know what a broken wrist feels like, because I broke this other one when I was snowboarding down a sand hill trying to catch sedan before he got away with the nuclear codes, but I got him. Got away with a fractured wrist and a story. Oh hey, I just got a text from Norma. It says, bloop, hey, heard you broke your wrist. Hope you feel better. Maybe now you'll actually be able to drive a ship better with a broken fist. Who knows? That was a nice one. Well, wow, you know, normal. It would be nice if I could use this because

this is normally the fit the rest I'd use to put my thumb up and, you know, ask for a ride from anyone that wasn't staffed by you because God knows. you sure don't know how to do it to spoke of Sink it any minute. Bloop! Bloop! Yeah, this boat sure could sink any minute because you may remember you're the captain of it and that's kind of your thing I bet. Anyway, good luck with that.

Bloop! Wow, well, nothing could sink lower than your love life, Norma. So I'm actually glad you're giving credit. Sinking credit or credits, sunken tool. You sad sack. Blue. Yeah, well at least I can use my vibrator with both wrists. Blue.

Blue, who needs a wrist? I can ride my memory of sedan, coming down a santa. So whatever. Blue. Blue, let me remind you you're the idiot who fell over on a deck and actually broke her wrists. Bloop. Let me remind you you're the one who put Kyle

in another paid situation. You're fucking more on. Bloop. Bloop. Let me remind you you're the one in the first place. You said, hey, I wanna have a stew who dresses like Janet Reno. Bloop.

Bloop. Bloop. Bloop. You literally got me there. Okay, love you, bitch. Taxi later. Love you too, bitch. Okay, so the girls go on a big booze cruise and then they're going, Chef and Tumey are going over the menu

and then the captain's telling Luca about her fracture or whatever. He's like, the fact that she's going to fracture and she's still here working, what a boss. What a boss. Literally your boss, actually. So now, then, to me is giving... I've written, to me is giving orders to to me.

So, that's confusing. That is destroying herself under the bus. So, that's confusing. That is stronger. She's throwing herself under the bus. So, you'll never believe what Tumi sent about you. I'm so mad at Tumi. So, Natin Kyler talking and Natalia's like, I need to fix my wig for casino diet. And he's like, you need to fix your life bag.

You're a miss. That's what you are. Fix your life. And she goes, oh yeah, look at you. You like Cruella Deville. The Drainage Vision. Oh, Drainage, I thought you said miss that's what you are fix to live and she goes oh yeah look at you you like Cruella Deville the ranged version oh deranged I thought she said the orange version I was like that's the bad well they're both not really great come backs calligoths all right well you don't piss me off and our model just

started fighting with you too and she goes all right what happened because we have juice feels a certain sort of way like threatened or something like that bullshit you know and that's like well no you can't have this in sort of way, like threatened or something like that. Bullshit, you know? And that's like, well, no, you can't have this in this negative energy. You're gonna have to talk it out with her, you know? Are you kidding? You can't harvest this negative energy. You're like the farmer and the negative dowl.

Are you fucking kidding me, Natalia? And she's like, so what happened? And he goes, yeah, this is bullshit. Like, what am I supposed to say? Oh, cheers. Thank you so much for talking shit behind my back. I mean, all this drama being based around the interior who think they deserve the world without having the experience. I'm so tired of this. Just so exhausting.

You literally got mad because Jess said you make her feel green. And then you sit here and you say, I'm sick of these stews that feel like they deserve the world without having experience. That is the definition of making someone feel green. Yeah. So then the food is being plated and staff and Jess is telling us, being on service is like like with this shit day, like I've had Kyle being like a rude bitch to me. It's actually really good because it reminds me I'm a good stew. It makes me it makes my heart feel a little better.

I think. Does this make my heart feel but your heart feels better. Thank you. My heart does feel better. So, um, then Amanda, the drunk one, she like turns to nothing and goes, does she have any remember he's having dessert with us for Francisco who are you talking to? This is like a we're like two for two right now we had Linda in the plant last week on

SLC and now we got this like we I'm loving this trend of women just speaking into the void. No so then later to me and Jess are cleaning and to me is like, good job. I fucking love you, Jess, because I don't feel it. So wait a minute. Like that whole like Carl makes me feel green. How did that even come into conversation? Finally, thank you. Because why why did Carl even know that you said that?

So to me is like, oh, he just heard green stew and then he flipped literally like I was on the prize, baby, that's money, that's money. Then why did you repeat it to him? You know? Yeah, exactly. Hey, all crew, all crew, I'm headed to bed. If you need me, just knock on my door and, you know, just, or just tap me on the fracture,

which Luca gave me, because you didn't tell me there was little thing behind my foot when I fell over. Okay, good night everyone. So then the chef comes out and sits with the ladies and Amanda's like, I'm like, this is like the best thing I've ever had in my life. Where are you even from? Where are you from?

Well, I'm from Liverpool and they're like, oh my God, well, so now he's from London and then it's now like, humble raised in London, not sure if you've made the place and they're like, she's lying, she's from Maryland. He's like, you know, you need to have a shot with us. You're gonna do a shot with this, right? He's like, I didn't think I'm allowed. So they asked to me and she's like,

not my decision, that's up to the captain. And they're like, oh my God, you're so doing a shot. Give me a shot, give me a shot. What if we demand he has a shot? Where are like, it's where the boss? He him a shot, he give me a shot! What if we demand he has a shot? Where, where like, it's where the boss? He gets a shot. Oh, so he does the shot and he is like, I didn't even want the shot.

I can feel like I was possessed. I can feel two of his eyes on me because I feel like deep down, it's wrong. And like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm doing it sort of like when I was age 0 to 6. And I was just a little zombie taking little shots of milk. It's like, takes me back to that place again. Hmm. So now they're like, you're gonna come and get seen, don't I? And they're like, sure, I'll get cleaned up and come down.

I was like, oh no, no, no, you're going too far. You're going too, it's the classic going too far. And whenever they show the, uh, coming up next on below deck, it's like, oh, captain, I have to be honest with you. I had to shot with the gas, so he goes, get out. Whatever, pack your shit. Pack your bags. So then Kyle is like cleaning.

And he's like, Lord have mercy. Women are literally the messiest of human kin, which is supporting your misogyny theories on him. So then he starts saying, I feel very dizzy today. I'm very dizzy. So we all know where this is going, because last season he starts saying, I feel very dizzy today. I'm very dizzy. So we all know where this is going because last season Kyle had, I think, two separate occasions where he had to like,

sit out because he was going, he was going through something, he had a dental issue. He also like fell down the stairs at one point, which I mean, I guess those are legitimate things, but he was quick to really sit in that bed for as long as possible in both cases. Yeah, I don't know how legit anything is with this guy, because he's like classic need for attention. Always has something wrong. Always the one who's going to be the one the group has to go to the hospital.

Has to have emergency care. I want, at this point, I want to see the X-rays, okay? Your ankle and your teeth. That's where I stand with this. So then it's casino night, and the chef finally goes downstairs, and he's like, foot proud, a folk and sexiest hell that crowd. Oh, God, I felt like Tom Cruise out there. Tom Cruise in a top gun fan convention. I just got fingerprints all over me. And to me, it's like, yeah, you definitely had a crush on him. And he goes, well, I'm human aren't I?

A gorgeous, gorgeous human. Yeah, you know, sun is so strict. You know, oh, sorry, too means like, well, you also took a little shot, by the way. Like, you have to tell her, by the way, because you don't wanna find out, you know, on her own, and Jack's like, well, she's not gonna find out unless she's,

unless people go snitching, they're not gonna go snitching. And she's like, well, she's not going to find out unless she's unless people go snitching, they're not going to go snitching. And she's like, I will snitch. She's like, she's going to find out. Okay. I know you haven't seen all the footage of me literally snitching on my employees to each other, my underlings, I guess I should say. So she's like, you know, I feel like I'm giving him the opportunity to tell Sandy, because she's going to find out whether it's from the guest, whether it's from a crew member, whether it's from me telling the guest in front of a crew member. So then upstairs in like the main salon, Kyle, to me walks in and just the two of them. So now that's just the two of them. Kyle's like, to me, I don't feel very good. I'm feeling very dizzy and he drops to his knees.

Oh! Oh! Oh! She's like, Oh! Kyle, you're being dramatic. It's no serious, I feel dizzy. I need to lie down.

I feel so dizzy. I'm dizzy. Mommy, are you there with me? Are you there, Mommy? I'm going to the light with Mommy. This is like, have you eaten? And Laura comes in. She's like, have you eaten? And Laura comes and she's like, have you eaten? And he's like, not since this morning. This time, this fucking shit is getting

to me. All this stupid drama just saving so much. Oh my god, get off the boat. I hope your boyfriend is rich because I do not understand, I know why you got hired back on this show because you're fucking drama queen, okay? But how is Kyle gonna live a life? I mean, is he just gonna be taking care of it all times? Who wants to work with this? Yes, and this whole thing, you know,

I just loved way he just quietly sneaks it in there. like, I'm just saying, I'm just, you know, if he said DZ, I'm saying, DZ all this drama, all these dramas happening to me, I can't take it, it's so Natalia, it's just too much. Just like, it's literally almost like a movie. It's like, you don't think people do this in real life, but he is fully making a scene and of course throwing the people who were mad at him under the bus in the process. Literally lying on the ground, I can't. It's like I know already with this shit no more.

I just said no more, I listen to all this shit. Like I'm totally as ups and downs and her relationships and this and that How she's feeling. I just don't know why I do it. I just can't I can't take on anymore I get you're just such a good person. I mean the reason you're in so much pain is because you're just such a good Fucking person. It's like I'm just so with the words everything. I'm like, as you're, you're halfway through your third charter, halfway through your third charter. So to me, it's like, you know, I'm not strange to to anxiety tax at all, like I've had in my early 20s, and I think the pressure of the

whole season is getting to Kyle. And like, but this is where I'm like, the pressure of the whole season, he came in late. And this is his second and a half charter. There is no pressure of the whole season. It just began for him. Commissions. Here comes one right now. So then Natalia is on the phone with her boyfriend in bed.

Now I'm going to throw myself on the floor sobbing Yes, not how many of these scenes are they're gonna be so she does that and then this guy this fucking guy this guy is like Oh, yeah, I feel like a missing part of my soul all day today I just can't go this long without you ever again. Didn't you fuck somebody yesterday? Fuck someone kidding me. You fuck someone So then to me is like, Kyle, please don't don't have a book yourself. I mean, she's now she's like, oh God,

don't overwork yourself to Kyle. He's just been vacuuming, okay? So then Kyle texts his fiancee. And he goes, oh, I know you're out with friends. Cause by the way, now he's on his feet. Now that he's been able to throw an attalya under the bus. And now that Tumi is said, don't overwork yourself way now he's on his feet now that he's been able to throw an attire under the bus and now that to me is said don't overwork yourself now he's fine

so now he's on his feet and he takes his Zachary and he's like I know you're out with friends who do need to respond but it was a tough day and I just want to say I love you and I miss you so he's telling us it's not only hard to work these long hours but to go through the emotional burden I'm going through, I felt like this four years crew members talking amongst and under each other. So I was depressed. I was in a vehicle with the first officer

and I just opened up the door of the vehicle and jumped out. I was the vehicle moving, was the vehicle moving because you don't just throw yourself out of a car and like okay, so he's like he's like I wanted to feel physical hurt That's a person emotional hurt and I'm feeling the exact same person here and like what do I do? Quit my job and not have any money. What do I stay and go fighting on? Okay? Okay, okay, real fucking hero on? Okay. Okay. Okay. Real fucking hero. Let's relax. Okay. Sorry. You had a hard day of

vacuuming. Okay. I'm sorry that the the girl who's 10 years younger than you got under your skin enough that it caused you to like lie down on this lawn floor and weep. But this is too much. No. And four years ago, my guess is you got caught, shit, talking everybody on the boat, they finally confronted you and so you jumped out of a car, so you could be the ultimate victim and so good all the fucking, I can't with this guy.

It's like the person who is like the toxin in the group, people realize that someone's the toxin and then they all talk about, did you hear what someone said? Did you hear what someone said? And then they flip it being like, you guys were all talking about me. It's like, yeah, because you were terrible to them.

They have to talk about it. You look what you made me do, look what you made me do. By confronting me, you just know it, you know? Yeah. So then he put himself in the ultimate victim situation where I mean, I can already feel people getting pissed off and we just saying this, but like, I'm sorry, this is Kyle. I'm not falling for this guy

for two fucking seconds and neither should you. Yeah, I agree. So thanks to Nat and Tumi for being there today. Oh, so this is the interior team group chat, okay. So this is all we see so far. He's like, thanks to Nat and Tumi for being there for me today. Breaking point has been reached officially.

I can no longer obtain any personal life matters from anyone. Okay, so everyone, Kyle is at full capacity because he's had, you know, seven days of having to take on personal matters. He has not had to take on personal matters. If he would have to, he would take on personal matters if he actually asked anyone anything. Although that being said, maybe I might send out this text message if I heard like constantly about Natalia's open relationship.

So maybe I should like take a back seat on this for a moment. Mm-hmm, true. So then it's the next morning and Natalia sees Jess. And she's like, oh my goal, did you see the cream message and she reads it and she goes, no, no, the bottom bit, he took a dig at you, but he did not. And listen, this is like not even me being

on Kyle's side, of course I'm not, but it says I can no longer obtain any personal life matters from anyone. That's you. That's you talking about you. That's you dumb dumb. But actually though, I do think though Kyle saying, thanks for not inting for being there for me today,

is a dig at Jess. I mean, he's hidden everyone. That's how he's operating. But I do think the part that Natalia thought was a dig at Jess was actually a dig at Natalia. The other part I thought was a dig at Jess. So now Jess is like, wait a second, I'm mad now. This is honestly bullying and she's like,

yeah, clearly he took a dig at the bottom because obviously he's acknowledged to me and I'm looking out for him when he's sick and then being like, over each breaking point meaning Jess brought him to this, I don't think that was necessary that little punks at the bottom. That wasn't necessary, she looks thrilled, you know?

Yeah, she's like, I'm gonna say something. So this is like where I feel like her sense of justice comes in. Like, this is wrong. I'm gonna make it right. So then, Jess goes up to, then Jess is on, there's this random scene where Jess is on the deck and is lady named Lenny. It's on the deck and she's doing like the Tyra Banks,

like this is how you stand in a tutorial. Like her hands on her hips and she's like, hunched over and Lenny's like, I'm like, way more fucking hungry today than yesterday. I'm like, wow, you're a real ray of sunshine on this show. Lenny, I'm sure all your friends enjoy all your commentary at breakfast. So Laura and Haley are lying down in the mess

and Lars, like I need sex. I have to have sex and Haley's like, it's only been a couple of wings. Thank you, tiny, man. It's been months, seriously. It's just so hard. I don't even know what getting late feels like anymore. So then Natalia goes up to Kyle on the mess and she's like, what's going on, dog?

And he's like, I'm not rushing. He's like, I'm not rushing today. I was up to 5 AM. She goes, like, I'm not rushing. He's like, I'm not rushing today. I was up to 5 a.m. She goes, well, I think that we should have an interior meeting soon as soon as the guest's live. And he goes, well, I don't even know what happened. I don't even want to know what this meeting has to be about.

She's like, well, you and Jess. Yeah, you know, she's a citizen because of the end of that message that you've locked up a dig there. And he goes, I don't care. She goes, yeah, but you can't be writing that shit coil. You know, it was a dig. He's like, honey, I don't want you to get in between me and Jess. All right, which is why I've involved

or was seeing every single person I've talked to on the boat and hinted at her and then text me, Sage. I'm not, I just don't fucking want to continue this to be like, but then you shouldn't come and talk shit about you. Okay, you just don't come in here. So Natalia's like, no captain is back and it's time to anchor up. Bring those anchors up, but not too fast. They only have one good wrist. Luka, thanks a lot for not warning me. So then just go sit to me and check, I'm sorry,

but I'm like coming to you again, because did you see those messages from Kyle? She goes, honestly, I just skimmed them. This is your job. Isn't that your job group text? Like, yes, I just saw, I can't with you today. I'm not sure I can't. I'm all the entire departments in mass. And Jess is like, yes. Well, Natalia said I should be mad

because of the part of the end. And like, so I feel like I'm bullied because Natalia said I'm being bullied right now. Am I being bullied? So we see the whole text and it's like all the best poop emoji. So then also, I'm going to ask to be back on service as the timing doesn't permit any other way. Thanks to Nat and Tumi for being there for me today.

Breaking Point has been reached officially. I can no longer obtain any personal life meds from anyone. I've reached lowest. So all I ask is work related to fear and well and great vibes my way to be sent back each year. And then what? To me writes. Thank you so much.

Superstar. Ugh. I don't like that. Why is Kyle at his lowest? He was the one who just yelped cursed out someone and he's at his lowest. Why is he at his lowest? I don't like that. Why is Kyle at his lowest? He was the one who just cursed out someone and he's at his lowest? Why is he at his lowest? I don't understand.

And by the way, okay, in all honesty, we're annoyed with the whole Natalia storyline because it's not interesting to us. But does he have such a small capacity for his friends that this brings him to his lowest taking on Natalia's drama That is we all know this is full bullshit full full bullshit. I can't even deal with him such a piece of shit So to me it's like well that was just because of a panic attack So don't worry about it has nothing to do with you and she's like well

I mean I could see why she thinks this because the last interaction she had was him attacking her So seeing these messages, naturally, she's insinuating it, not realizing that Natalia... Well, she does realize it because she just told her Natalia is trying to play it. Oh my gosh. It's headache inducing. So Tumi is like, okay, so he had a full-on panic attack. He said he can't take on everyone's issues like that's boyfriend. It wasn't you. This is work It's not some friendship group. So don't worry about it. Yeah, just go work So now to me goes up on hug Kyle and Kyle goes well my friend wants to have a meeting like I haven't got the energy So I'll just sit there, but I'm not gonna say anything and to me is like well when did she say this? So I think that she's thinking

That Kyle is talking about Jess because Kyle says, well, first thing I woke up, I said, please say out of my business. And Tumigos, but the message was just about helping you yesterday. And Kyle says, and then I said, I'm back on service, which is my job. Is it not? So, yeah, so you were trying to give away. So why are you acting like you have to come back in here and reclaim something? You were just trying not to do your job. No one tried to take it.

Yeah. So then Tumi goes, well, she said this message is talking to me. Oh my God, Tumi. My God. Why are you telling me? She's terrible. This is where I wrote officially, oh my God, Tumi is terrible at this job.

That's it. Why? When you're officially suck at this job. The people that you're supervising are coming to you out of concern and then you just keep on airing everything they say back to the people that they have issues with. It is so unprofessional. Yeah. Famic flames.

So she's like, listen, she didn't know what happened to you. So I told her, it's just a panic attack and then she's like, oh, all right. Okay. So now Kyle's like, okay, well, I'm straight to the mess here. I don't know what he says. So he goes, but he's basically saying, oh, so now, because Tumi has said this stuff, he's gonna tell you to me.

That's what he says, and I'll tell you. It's gonna tell you to me. I'm straight to the mess here. Yeah, so he's now, now that Tumi is clarified, oh, just was confused because she didn't realize you had a panic attack and that we helped you That's basically what to me just said. So now Kyle is like, oh, so the person who riled up Jess was actually Natalia, so he this is I mean when we went when Kyle first yelled and lost his shit on Jess

I think we all knew that this was sort of like a Jess. I think we all knew that this was sort of like a emotionally abusive move. Because we all knew it would then turn into Kyle saying like, I'm so sorry, I love you. It's just that you did this to me. You know, we always knew he was gonna break her down to bring her back in. And of course, he's gonna do this. And this is the first step. He's gonna do that. He's gonna break her down to bring her back in to create a sense of loyalty from her, right? Because that's like what abusive bosses do or supervisors or people. And the only reason why he wants loyalty is because his chief enemy is Natalia.

So now we're starting to see that plan start to pivot in that direction. Right, it never had anything to do with Jess. It was just another way to ultimately get Natalia. Yeah, break her down. So bring her to your side. Yeah, so it's like the lowest stakes soap opera. I know what I'm so impressed with me.

I'm so impressed to do. Look how angry I am. So then of course he's got, he's done what he wants, right? He's already got to me like, oh, this is Natalia. So now he's gonna go pull the, I'm gonna be really nice to Jess. Yes. But he does it in that way. Like, well, we need, Jess, we need to have a little chat to pull the ooze out.

I'd like to hear from you to come to a solution so as soon as the guests are off. So now she has to sit there stewing about it, you know? Like, she's terrible. So then, time to do the roads, park the boat, ropes, park the boat, et cetera. And she's like, it's a tight slip, but at this point they trust the crew, they make it, everyone's proud. So now it's a lineup to say goodbye. And Amanda's like, I don't know how you handled this,

because we're freaking nuts. And the chefs are like, they'd say, I've got fingerprints all over my body, but I was glad to serve ladies. They're like, ooh, it's daylight now. I think we're gonna, yeah, well, we regret all our choices last night. Never mind, sorry.

Can we take those fingerprints back? So, say it's like, okay, everyone, out of your whites, into your reds, get ready for tips, but don't let them go to your heads. Okay, just that little rhyme for everyone. Okay, come on guys, clean. So now is where the chef confesses. He goes to the bridge and he's like, Chef, I fucked up a bit last night.

She goes, oh, what happened? Did you watch Wind Without Me? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, did you text Nerma? What were you saying to Nerma? So Jack is like, well, I had a- with the guest at the table and I want you to know. But that's it, it was just one shot and I was only half a shot and I didn't even know

why I had him took a shot. I didn't even like shots. Ever since a little kid I didn't like shots. I remember when I was five years old and I had my first shot at a killer and I thought no, this is not for me, it's not even know why I do this. It's really hard for me to even go to the hospital because all the doctors fall in love with me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think I would have beaten those Somali pirates if I wasn't able to have a sense of humor about it. I was like, I am the captain now, get it? Because of that movie. Anyway, God, we all laughed.

Me and the pirates, they said, get out of here. We'll let you go. I don't even have shots when we go out after, but they were like, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. The non-rhythm of the request is what caught me. Because of course the girls did that typical guest thing, we're thinking. Oh my God, guys. Shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, shah, sh Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, Sha, like, okay, you know what? I told you, I warmed you. Those ladies, those are real temptresses, huh?

I mean, basically handing me an apple, the Garden of Eden. I just wanna have a little stink there. What are you gonna wear a fig leaf around? Those women's tempting was biblical. Okay, look, just don't do it again, but thanks for telling me. I remember, remember when I said,

these guests will have you cross the line. You know what I'm saying? But hey, glad you told me, because you know what? I'm gonna reward you. Here's what I'm gonna reward you. By you coming to me and doing the right thing, I'm gonna reward you by publicly humiliating you at the tip meeting, okay?

See you then. So now the stews are in the mess talking duties. And Kyle's like, she wants to do cabins with me now, not Jizz. And just, it's like, okay, and Tim, he goes, are you comfortable with that? Oh, really? Now you care when you're not fucking sick and Kyle on her?

That's really sweet of you. So she's like, I'll do cabins. I'm ready to hear him out. So they go and Kyle, of course like lies on the bed He's like, oh right She's No, you shouldn't it Kyle should be the one to open with the apology because he was so rude to you and she goes

Well, I think I told to me that Kyle makes me feel like a green stew But like when I said it I never meant it in a malicious way. And like after you speaking to me, it makes me realize, I really need to think before I say something because it could come off wrong. So I'm sorry for telling to me and not telling you that. What? Are you kidding me?

Are you falling on the sword? Oh my God, this poor girl. She got it all wrong. Well, that's what happens with people like Kyle. You end up just everybody ends up giving them their way because they don't wanna have to deal with Kyle. Yeah. So they're like, okay, fine.

So he's like, well, if it was an actual you running a math or would be like, whatever, only used to it, prop it sticking up for you. I was the only one standing up for you, which is just so gross a lot. Incine waiting that everyone hates Jess. It couldn't be further from the truth. And it's just gross to make someone feel that way.

And it's like you'll see things your own way one of these days. And it's also like one, that's also like such an emotionally abusive character. It's like the thing to be like, like I'm the only one who cares about you. Or like I only did it because you can't do better than me. You know, it's like that thing of like,

like I'm here, like you can't do better than me and I'm giving myself to you. You should be so lucky. Like I'm standing up for you. No one else will. No one else would like you. You can't do better. That's like the whole vibe of it.

It's just so disgusting. So she's like, I think I see now, because like I woke up this morning and then she was like, did you read the text and I'm like, huh? Like I didn't even know to read it. But then she told me so it is her fault. And he's like, yes, you understand what I'm trying to say. She's like, yeah, like exactly like literally. That's what I'm like seeing now. But just for clarity, what am I seeing again? You don't like Natalia. Yeah, I don't like Natalia. Now why is that again?

Because I said so. Yeah, okay, cool, yeah. You know, she's not really wrong here because she's like, yeah, like she's telling us. She's like, you know, like, I didn't, Kyle, they did laugh when I said I'm gonna be on service or whatever, but I like, I didn't question the laugh until Natalia said, are you questioning the laugh?

Which is true. That was Natalia trying to be toxic. And so, like, and then I wouldn't have second guessed that text, like if she didn't make me second guess the text, text. Which is true, that is her. She's like, but I feel like Natalia is the core of the drama. They're both the core. They're both the of the drama. They're both the core. They're both the core.

They're both the core. Yeah, because again, this is like my theory. Natalia is being toxic, and I'm amending my theory because I feel like in the beginning of the show, I made it sound like I don't think Natalia is toxic, but I do think she's toxic, but I think she's toxic in the pursuit of what she thinks is justice as opposed to personal advancement necessarily.

Although there probably is some personal advancement in there, but Natalia is just like, this is so wrong, don't you agree? Let's go after them. Whereas Kyle is just like, this is so wrong, I'm going to be toxic to destroy people. I disagree. I think Natalia hates Kyle because of last season. And she's not just coming back like, oh my God. Fresh record. She doesn't want to deal with Kyle either.

Kyle screaming at her or doing whatever. So she's trying to sound as good side. So she's trying to manipulate the kind of dopey one against Kyle. And it's just like, I mean, you're up against a master. You know what I mean? And ultimately, you're both terrible. So yeah, there's more terrible. But you're still terrible. She's not gonna get off on this one with me

She's still sex so and also I Not your only at least I don't have to listen to Kyle's open relationship talk Okay, you know what she's not off the hook with me. I'm just saying I think why I think that Kyle is worse Because it leads to worse. I think that with Natalia, there's like a misguided sense of virtue, but like she's wrong and she is, you're right, she is trying to get it Kyle and she's trying to get it to me, it's all wrong, but at least there's like, she thinks she's doing it all for all the right reasons,

whereas Kyle, there's not even an attempt to, which I guess maybe you can make an argument that that's actually the worst part of it, that she's using some sort of morality to excuse her behavior. But Kyle, I think, is just out for purely pure malicious intentions. So then Kyle comes in with a big mommy. He's like, well, from my side, I apologize for the approach. And I know how triggering it was because I've been the one held in the bin in high school.

Oh, okay. Okay. So you're bullied. So it's okay. So you're okay with... I just can't wear this. She's like, I'm so sorry, truly from my heart. Of course it works on her, this one, because she's a dumb dumb. So can I give you a hug, Kyle?

He's like, yes, absolutely. Thanks for the chat to you. just fair warning. Watch out. Okay, well, welcome to tip meeting and listen, this was a bizarre charter for the crew. Wow, it was real. Just tempt temptation after temptation. All right. Wow, this cast of temptresses came on here. So who was tempted? Wanna raise your hand, Chefy? Okay, I know. Now listen, here's the thing. Super Yacht people do not cross the line unless your name rhymes with banana and you're like putting hairwinds to your eyeballs. So You know what because Jack had a shot the punishment is

Y'all have to do a charter tomorrow with a 24 hour turnaround and Laura goes, Christ! Just kidding! God I'm on a real roll today with all the Joker Ruse, right? Hey, I just took that from Kyle, adding an Arru to something. That's funny too. Anyway, you guys did it. I'm a real Ray Muff, Romano today, okay? So, you get 20 grand, okay?

That's great. Now, everybody, um, train have sex with Jack. Just kidding, that was the entire charter that just left. Okay, let's leave Jack alone. You guys have the day off tomorrow. You guys have a charter and on that charter, you're gonna clean that boat instead of this boat. Just to switch up, just kidding.

You get Sandeed for the third time in a row. So then they all go out and they're partying and Natalia is like, so mixed, did you get close to the girls? And he goes, yeah, Lenny. And she says, the one with the boobs, you know, the nipples, all the eyes of the breast. Ha, ha, ha, except they can't see in our eyes at all.

So just like, so then, uh, and then they're all sitting at the table and just is like, we have no water and the glucose. You so observe and gist, but it's like, They're all sitting at the table and just like we have no water and look at those you're so observant just but it's like He's like that's like a flirty it's like a flirty disc and And then they're all sitting there. They're all talking and Kyle's like so far Everyone he is a question for the group. That's not really gonna be a question that I it's not

It's not just an excuse for me to talk about myself, but so far what has everyone's most challenging child to be in, you don't even have to give an example, so what has everyone's most child to be in and keep it snappy because I really want to talk. This was mine, this was my worst child in my history of childering, hold on. Currently on the ground coil. Well I have to say my worst try to is I'm not done Anyway, this is the worst charter and he's chief charters. It was like being in high school again The worst part is when Natalia put me in the bin just like the bullies in high school was charter either And just is like oh my god Kyle. I really love your authenticity right now It's like yeah, and to be honest,

you look just so much happier now. You know, and almost comment, look, she was such a cool mediator and to me understood that we needed to be away from each other. And so, you know, cheers to Chimie for really dealing with the worst child or in my life. Oh my God, this fucking guy. So, Natalia's like, wait, so now they're all like,

oh my God, yeah, no, congratulations to you. So Natalia's like, wait, so now they're all like, oh my god, yeah, no, congratulations to you. So Natalia's like, oh, look at these. We're all three best friends now, huh? The trio. Well, you're the best babe. You're the best babe. I mean, just just my hidden. I mean, these are the most un-gene- you in people have ever seen in my life. So she gets up and leaves because Kyle has made a big show of like the close bond that the three of them had, which is what he just did the night before in his text message, like this is what he does.

Like it's so divisive and manipulative. So she goes off, oh no she doesn't even go off, she's texting with her boyfriend, and Luca is blatantly reading her text. He's just literally staring at them and she's like the boyfriend texting Natalya and it's like, I love you and she writes back, I love you too, so Luca sees that and he's sort of like snorts like, okay, well fuck this. I'm sick of trying to like bag this girl if she's going to be like, if she's actually going to be expressing love for her boyfriend. So whatever, you want to drink and she's just ignoring him while she's texting and he's

like, do you want to drink? She just like Lisa Barlow to her husband style, just completely ignoring him. And she goes, all right guys, I'm gonna go for a few minutes. I might meet you at the next bar. Yeah. So she goes off and Kyle's like,

and then they start heading to the next bar and Kyle's like, see, I can't pause with the girls now. I just don't want to wick for the girls, that's all. So of course Kyle, he's in it for the fun. He's not in it to actually be a good worker. So Kyle's like, you know, I'm just gonna leave. So they go to the next bar and he's like, okay, I'm just gonna have one moment and then I'm done

about my toll, yeah, oh my God. So here he goes again, she's so aggressive, she's so shit, she's so shit stirring, and so I don't want that toxicity brand me. I mean so many people tend to get to me. I mean, I just I don't feel bad. I walked off. I mean feel free. He's just going off. He's yeah, he's just obviously like sick of singing, but you know, we can't help it because the episode is just kind of being terrible over and over again. It's like, okay, something else happens, but guess what? Nothing else happens.

Kyle still sucks. That's the whole episode. I think the reason why I'm so angry and why we are really going on and on and on again is because there are so many kiles out there and there are so many people who have to work with kiles and there are so many people who have their actual jobs and professions undermined by people like Kyle, where it's like, yes, this is a reality show, and it is very funny and entertaining.

You're watching it and like, oh my God, so much drama. But actually, we've all encountered people like this in our lives, and these people impact people's lives, and actually really can create, like really sew a lot of destruction, and not like big destruction like oh my god I was fired it's just like this is how people get turned against each other we saw him to the beginning of the season He totally poisoned the well with to me in Italia and now is he's just pits people against each other over and over and over again

And it's just like shitty it's shitty that people like this You know can have so much impact on other people. Now that being said, this is not like a group of, you know, really brainiacs here. They're all contributed in many ways to their own demise in the situation, but I don't know, I just feel like, it's tough to watch someone like Kyle,

do these things that he's doing, and then, you know, sort of not really get away with it because it feels like people understand what's going on but get away with it. He does get away with that. So um, so then we get Natalia coming back with her bullshit, okay. So she's been like, you say that she, like he's blatantly reading her text, Luke goes blatant, I mean, she's pulling out her text

right in front of Luke, and then being like, I'll be big. I'll have to go take a small boyfriend who I'm in an open relationship with, which is really difficult. So she comes back and now he's kind of cooled off on her. And she's like, what the hell's going on with him? Oh, why would he cool off on me?

What? So by the way, what we have not also, maybe we haven't really articulated this is that the women from the previous, from this charter, they're the next bar over. They come over and now they're all partying, okay? So now there's like drinks, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots,

and Jess pulls Luca into the bathroom and she's like, I don't really have to pee. I have a question and Tumi is listening in and Jess is like, so are you like over and not now? And he's like, yeah, too much baggage. So she's like, wow, okay, cool. Yeah. And Tumi is like, this is going to end badly.

I can't wait to tell her. So then, let's see, Luca is cuddling kind of with, like they're getting flirty, and Max is making out with somebody. And Laura just starts making out with girl after girl after girl from this cruise. She makes out with everyone, and she goes up to Carly and she's like, do you have a good friend? Is it okay to hook up with a girl? And then they make out, and after that everyone just wants to make out with Laura. I mean, she, she kills it. Yeah.

So there's like a kiss meter and it hits 10. Okay, she got 10 makeouts. Yes. So then Max says, by the girls, and he's like, boy, ladies being, boy, ladies being. So then Max is like, oh, are you going to come visit me? You know, Romeo and Juliet. We are 2.0. And Lenny is like, yeah, absolutely. I'm totally going to come visit you. See you

later. Robert, Max, yeah, whatever. Bye. So they get back on the boat. And Kyle says to Max, he's like, I'm putting the entire season's tip money. And you, the Lenny, you and Lenny are never going to work out because you're 23 and she's a grown-ass business woman. And Max is like, blah. And she's like, oh, he's done nothing wrong, he's single with me. And he's like, well, I'm engaged. So don't rub your fucking straight dick around here.

And Max says, it'll be LGBT plus S, bro. And he's like, what is the S-Full? And they're like straight and he goes, no, you can't include yourself in LGBT. You must be crazy. Kyle finally has a good point. So Max is like, what's that? This is what, what?

I think it's so stupid. Who cares? Like who's falling over themselves to be part of LGBT? He's just trying to be nice to you and saying we're all on the same team. And then Kyle has to of course take it in this terrible way. And Max is like me? You don't like old being together? He's like, support your straightness and show your allyship.

That's it. You're not part of LGBT. Right. And so, I mean, it's the whole thing is actually extremely stupid. And so, like, Kyle's like, I mean, not it's the whole thing is actually extremely stupid and so like Kyle's like I mean not even allies in the acronym like that sort of thing like I accept your all our ship But I do not accept you saying you're part of the LGBTQ community because you ain't I mean like I get it like This guy's really straight trying to be part of LGBTQ

Why do we live in this way? Why can't we all be, I know what he's doing. And like, I get it. I'm not offended. I just am like, it's stupid. I think that Kyle is engaging in it. It's stupid that Mack has even saying it in the first place. But it's like a stupid drunk and fight. And Kyle's like, no, no, no, no.

This is not your community, be an ally. It's not your community. So then Natalia, here's another dumb dumb, dumb dumb number 45 on this episode. Natalia comes up and goes, all right, hey Max, have you ever done an awful tale with the girl? You know, you're standing up, you're standing up with another girl and you're like, high five and there's a girl. You have, that makes you boy curious. It's like, no, no, that's not, that does not give you an automatic card into being bicarious just because you're with another guy and you had sex with a girl. What?

What is going on here? So I think she's just like, this is stupid. Like, Kyle's getting worked up. So she's like, okay, he's bicarious at the end. And Kyle's like, nah, nah, and she's like, coil, it's supposed to be accepting of every community. And he goes, not you, not you, take a back seat. You don't have to do with this.

Like, that's exactly what you should tell a woman in an argument, take a back seat. They can't with no. So, Tali is like, listen, coil, I'm one of your friends, don't talk to me like that. And he goes, honey, honey, you don't control me. Eva, Eva. Don't call me honey coil, because if you're're gonna speak like that, it's like, well you know it, you will never control me. You will never control me.

And she's like, you can't tell people what they are and aren't part of. You can't tell people what community they aren't part of. He's like, you will never control me. Or do you need to control everyone's opinion. Focus on your own fucked up love for your focus on ours. Oh my God. So she's like, why? And so then you're saying that, like, then he's like,

she's gonna do everyone under the bus and Jack's like, she doesn't throw me under the bus. So you, she will. She will, you just will. No, not me, not me. Oh, just will. No, not me, not me. Oh, she will. So if not me, you'll see. She'll coil, I've never been spoken to like that.

I can't believe you're actually saying this to me and he goes, I don't care. It's, by the way, it's a second recap in a row where there's just been a guy, it's a screaming, I don't care. The other is real housewives of Potomac. I don't care. Oh yeah, one. don't care. The other is real housewives of Potomac. I don't care. Who do you care?

Oh yeah, one. To sanitize, like, coil that just put volumes a bit of friendship because I didn't care. Because all friendship has never been real. And you've been a fake ass beach talking ship on my back since day one. So get away from me. When, like, literally Kyle is the,

uh, I can't, I can't. He's the worst Kyle. Is the fucking worst. But also, like, this is the thing, this is the stupid I can't, I can't. He's the worst Kyle. Is the fucking worst. But also like this is the thing, this is the stupid argument that's gonna really drive the wedge between them is max trying to make a metaphorical argument about like how we should, like we're all like, we're all the same, you know,

and this is the thing that's gonna work. No one is dying to be on Kyle's team, you know what I mean? Like I'm like considering my letters at this point. Yeah, it's just, it's all stupid. And Natalia's reasoning for why, why he could, why Max is actually LBGQ eligible is ridiculous.

Max trying to make this argument is ridiculous. Kyle taking it way too seriously is ridiculous. Max trying to make this argument as ridiculous. Kyle taking it way too seriously is ridiculous. If they're all just being so, so ridiculous. Um, great. Definitely. It's just silly. I don't think Max was trying to make an argument that he's really LGBT. He was just saying, Hey, bro, like, no, he wasn't. He was, he was making argument that like we can all be the same. I the same. I understand why Kyle was like, no, fuck off. Like I'm sick of, no, absolutely not.

I think that's silly. But I do think that I would have just been like, the tone of that moment, I probably would not have taken that moment to be like, I'm gonna have a teachable moment. I probably would have been like, okay, well I'll be one big. I don't need to be like I'm gonna have a teachable moment I probably would have been like okay, well, I'll be one big I need to be taught anything by Kyle

Well, that's for sure Kyle is nothing to teach us right except how to How to avoid people like him and how to find the signs Yeah, how that felt great Ronnie that felt really good times. Yeah, well that brings us to the end of below dick Midditorine and thanks so much everybody for being with us We'll see in a couple weeks for a crappy hour, tons of recaps. Also, we might be doing a preview for this week's bonus because one came out, being excited.

A preview came out. Real housewives, ultimate girl's trip. I believe the pre-ghost dropped. Okay. I missed that, oh exciting, okay. Well, that's fun. Well, thanks everyone for being here and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Saboni she don't take no baloney strong the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella

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