Watch What Crappens - #2230 Southern Charm: Dinner at BuckinGarsh Palace

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

The men of Southern Charm (S09E10) gather for their annual Douche Dinner at Patricia’s house, where Shep loses his cool trying to win a competition over Taylor and Austen slips up when retelling his makeout story. Mmhmm. The most recent premium bonus is a two parter about Bravocon. Find it and all our videos at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference

in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how a Prince without direction became a duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ronny, guess who I'm with, Ben? Ben's over there, hi Ben.

Hi, how are you? Good, what's going on with you today? You know, it's the end of the day. I'm Ronny, I'm with Ben. I'm Ronny, I'm with Ben. Ben's over there, hi Ben. Hi, how are you? Good. What's going on with you today? You know, it's the end of our week very excited to talk some Southern charm love this show. So good I'm really into it this season. What's going on with you? Um

Gosh, what is going on with me really nothing to report it? Unfortunately Really nothing to report it unfortunately, pretty boring life, but thankfully I live mostly through the TV. I watch and it's been really good this week. It's been a great week. If you want to listen to all that, go listen to our show. Okay, do we've done a million shows this week? We'll continue to do another million every week until we're dead. So go listen to all that. If you want videos, we are on crap and on demand as huge videos now for everything. So if you want to watch them, go over to crap and on demand, watch them. Okay, you stop in you. That's it Patreon.com slash watch what crap and let's get into this Southern charm

show. So it's a big one because it is the annual douchebag dinner at Patricia's house. More Patricia has all the men over and celebrates their doucheiness. She just loves that. And a man, she loves it, yeah. Previously on BetaFuckFist in Charleston,

in North South Carolina, a bunch of betas walked around and yelled at each other in the mountains. Or is that called mountains? Beta sees. If the guys waking got off to you, chill start. Things were even out here at Taylor's house. Look how emotional she gets. Look how her face said move. Have you ever seen more of a dead fish of a human being in a face? Not me. Got a lot of fire under her ass and tell her you cheated on her just to get any kind of emotional to do it. Do it.

Hey, shit. Previously, ship said he was glad he cheated on Taylor. I'm there. See, tell you. Tell you. So, after Madison's previously, we are, we could settle on page and crag waking up and page like, hmm, you know, I like wake up early here because you can really hear the birds outside And I feel like New York City doesn't have any birds. We just have pigeons. I'm sorry when I say pitches. I said we just have like

Cool things to do that's it Okay, well too bad is don't make a VHS. I'll tell you that much get out of my scene, please Okay, well that's really how I get to do this at the same time, so I just have to have a little more about babies. So, New York City doesn't have birds, we just have like fashion and sophistication. Do the birds talk in New York?

She's like, I don't know, actually. I really don't know. I think they'd be more surprised that you talk, honestly. Fucking idiot. So then we got a Taylor's house and she's throwing laundry in the hamper and then some date chasers, which is super interesting. So hopefully she got a convert there and then we go to Austin's house and he's getting groceries at his door and he's like, what? Did drunk off or I'm quite literally a back and grocery. I quite literally have no recollection of what I quite literally ordered

from Instacart last night. So when we go to Patricia's house and there's fans in music playing she's wearing feather sleeves, chopper chopping her pillows and Whitney comes in he's like Worth a shirt for you. I know that you hate the shirt I'm gonna burn that shirt as soon as you go out of town Which seems to be never these days you will not find it when you come back I'm gonna put Randy in that shirt and light it on fire Be mostly obtaining things happening around this house and ages. It's like when you threw away my comic book collection. No, no, no, I still have your comic book collection.

It's in the storage bin. Next to that box that says things that I can give Whitney when he ever married someone. So Chef just walks in. He's like, Hey, von calling! Oh,. We know, Shep. Yeah, there's no such thing as deadlines in your life. What is a weekend? So Shep is like, oh, Patricia,

you look excellent as usual, green. It becomes you. Thank you, yeah. Overgrown sack of barley. And Whitney's, so that Whitney then has to go make Martinez because Randy's off for the day. So yeah, he's like, what a Randy's off today. I've Randy ever been on really. Well Whitney get to shake him before clock can't dies in a fire along with your t-shirt. Run along now. So he's like Jesus Christ as he's back there trying to make these machines.

Michael came on the video phone, last the video phone. The FaceTime last week to show them how to make these fucking martinis. And of course it takes a cloth sack, a hammer. So you just hear Whitney back there like, sing, gong, gong, how God damn it. It sounds like Mario Maker, you know you know when all the little and all the little mushrooms are building a new part of the castle.

So he finally comes out with his martinis and then Patricia tries and it's like there's too much of a moose. Okay, Whitney, how about we put you in a box next to your comic books up in the attic at this point? Whitney doesn't know how to make cocktails. he has other charms, money, of course. And also there's, well, money. I mean, do people consider glasses a charm because he's got those, which help him count his money?

Which thing? Thankfully he's got as well. He's got four to five useless degrees and he's got his cousin's serena's number and his iPhone so we can call up and they're not to pretend they're doing MTV news from back in the day, but Guess that's his charm really right there. Anyway, chef. What's going on with you? Y'all, they're the ladies, ladies. When it's like, yeah, tell me about them. Tell me about that. It's like, oh, well, I can tell you this much. I woke up next to Taylor and the second I saw her, I said,

Hey, what's going on? We died. It was so funny. And they're like, good God, man. She's like with Taylor. When he's like, come on, you can't just be leading her on. He's like, oh, no, we just kissed. That's all we did. Okay. Well, you know, I think I think I'd like Taylor

But she wanted a little more. I just don't want his back sliding. Oh again Well, there's a really an attractive young people in Charleston. Why this group has to sleep with each other's But beyond me, it's like very-duous. I don't get it. Oh, mother, because we're trying to film a TV show. Oh, that's right. Okay, everyone go fuck each other. We'll take in the money over here. Anyways, you know the guys dinner I do every year.

So we see clips of that. Oh, look at everybody. These little pigs on the table. They're male-shovin'est pigs. Well, I'm thinking that maybe we should try to elevate it for once. I'm gonna go to a chef who can cook menus from oil castles. He's a ratty-looking man, but he knows how to make a Wellington like none other, and he'll tell you all about it. That's for sure.

I love this guy. So get excited for Brett. He's coming by soon. Wait a minute. Isn't British food notoriously bad? Really? Finally, a whole population that can understand your teeth. And you made him to do something.

Really shabby. Well, maybe in the places that Austin will eat out in Britain, but where are you? There is a palace called Buckingham So get out of my face because I'm about to tell you better right now This is what they serve the royals. Okay, I hate to drop names but princess Diana and Prince Charles and Edward and Albert and Victoria and Elizabeth One two three four and five all them. I know them all. I'm friends them all. Anyway, no one's been accused to be in his distasteful as you, and you're still ordered constantly.

Now, I hate to drop names, but... We didn't even pick all those names up, please, while I show, ship, what a menu looks like. Turn it over, Shaap. There's a handwritten menu on the back of this floor to Lee. When I was done and a Buckingham Palace, we brought in take out from Waga Mama. I sat down with Lizzie. We sat there and watched some more wheel of fortune up in the, in the rich people

lounge at Buckingham Palace, you know, soups. And you know, you come in and this is what you see. You see a bunch of these, these are the prints of Wales, rather than what you do as you go out to a window, you throw them at the poor people, they love it, they're scrambled for it, and you race to see which ones can get to it first, the person, the blue cap or the red cap.

It's a great time they have their Buckingham Palace. Mech and Markle. Never heard of. All right, man. You know, here's a box, Chef. Now, if you can figure out what this is, I'll be impressed. And he's like, what it says, 9th of April, 2005, Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall, Prince William, Prince Charles, when he married Camilla.

They sent me a piece of their wedding cake It's been in the freezer for years and stiffer than Camilla's face You know Camilla sent Whitney or nude ones show him Whitney show him Just what the yes, father. Okay. Here you go. It said it said come wall come one cornwall Corn one kind Cornwall Cornwall. She really was born for corn. Got a bit, got a bit. Got a bit of a breast. Madison, get out of here.

Wow, okay. Pants Charles, 10 beta, is that like the column? So now Craig and Paige are driving along and Craig's like, I love it when you're in town, baby. Yeah, I love it when I'm in town too. I mean, just look at this weather. Yeah, I can't believe you have to go back to the airport tomorrow. I know, like 40 degrees in Renean, New York City. I mean, sophisticated and fashionable in New York City. Sorry, I get my words mixed up sometimes.

So they get to the restaurant and he's like, the bugs are biting my head. Can you believe him? Everyone wants a little piece of that. Rar. It's like, wow, it's like the nicest thing you've ever said to me. So they order, um, she got a love sense there. She goes, this is my person that I since I'm so sincere these days, I'd like to order a bottle of me, the sense air. I'm sure that's French for sincere. So she's like, okay, waiter, I'm between the pork chop and the duck. And I'm just for why am I typing this? Okay, this seems been going on for five minutes.

Because it sounded like she was describing the cast members. Hi, I'm standing between Austin and Shep, the pork shop and the duck. Can you please note me? Thank you so much. How do you feel about the house? And she's like, um, well, you'll live there with the, you know, I think you're going to live there with whatever desperate person ends up marrying you. And, you know, it's going to be great. In the meantime, we're going to need night side tables and curtains between us in the bed. So I don't have to look at you. That would be great. And also for it to be in New York City. She's just like a bed with somebody else in it preferably that I'm going to marry in the future. So if

you could work on that, that would be great. It just needs side tables and curtains and about 35 stories below it and then also to be in Manhattan. So, I thought you were talking about bedbugs in your head didn't turn me on because that really was hot. I hope I'm not making feelings secure right now. Is this you talking or is it the sense there? So he's like, I just wanted a place where you felt at home too.

Oh, so you want to move to New York? Is that what you're saying? No, I just want you to come to the house and be happy. Well, I do think about like, OMG, like what if I have a child right now? I mean, I'm not thinking, I don't want a child. But I got nervous for a second. I thought like, oh my God, we have a child.

I'm gonna have to raise it in Charleston. Like, how awful, am I right? Well, I've always wanted a wife and children and a second. I thought like, oh my god, we have a child. Then we have to raise it in Charleston. Like, how awful. Am I right? Well, I've always wanted a wife and children in a family. So are you trying to marry me? Like, what the hell? Like, who do you marry is up big the session, Craig. We've only been together a year and a half. Like, I just, I feel like we're young. Well, you are. You are. Tom's a ticket over there. All right.

So he's like, yeah, we've got to work through obstacles because a lot of them are there by page and not unfairly, but we have to live in the same place. We can't just have a family and not live together. Yes, you can. Why say you can? That's what people do all this time. Why not?

So Craig's like, I know one of the concerns you had was building a social circle down here. So how's that going? Yeah, it's like fine. Like it'd be nice if Bravo would like have a show based around me down here because then I could probably make friends more easily. But like, I guess if I moved down here, I could get a car and like hang out with someone, I guess. I would love that. Oh yeah, if I had friends, you know, same.

Let's be honest, girls are the worst in making friends in your 30s. It's just so different to making friends in your 20s because like your 30 now, you know what I mean? It's just like totally different. Do you think that they're more gays than just ruddy go in his husband because that was a, that felt like a good start for me, but I also need some follow-through. You know, unlike girls, 30 is actually the best time to make friends with a gay guy. So.

Do you think you could introduce me to the guys over at a Southern hospitality? I hear that they have a bunch of gays on that show. So she's saying that she would really like Madison. You know, she's like, yeah, I really like her. She's evil. We would want. So he's like, all right, let's get you bread, Matt. So then we go over to bubbles and boobies or whatever the fuck.

Lev is rubbing in bubbles, which by the way, I want to point that out. Burbin and Bubbles, the spin off of Republic. And so Rod walks in and he hugs Lev, and Lev goes, um, but, bourbon and bubbles, the spin-off of Republic. And so, Rod walks in and he hugs Leva. And Leva goes, um, do you like espresso martinis? Cause, yeah, we're sort of known for that. I'm like, your name is literally bourbon and bubbles. And now you're gonna say that you're known

for your espresso martinis. I say, no! No, I refuse the espresso martini from there. You were incorrect. Not only that, it's like she's never had an espresso mart. I think she calls them espresso martinis, I have to say. And then, I think she said that too. And then she goes, wait, how do I drink this

without getting a mustache? I thought you were known for your espresso martinis. Yeah, get a straw bitch. You don't know how he's fling. Come on, I already had a drink one. Come on, let out. So they're laughing about how raw when he gets drunk because like pretty even killed.

And then love us like, I always laugh, because when people are getting messy, I'm always like, me and Rod don't really do that. So we're more scared of our parents than even Jail. So, oh God, one exciting scene we're about to have. So, he goes, when she says the thing about a mustache, she's like, how do you do this? I'm not good at mustache.

She's like, I was born with a mustache. She goes, yeah, I don't remember the mustache. That's funny. That's funny. That's very Lebanese too. That's how we are too. We're like born. That's fine.

Our babies come out with like little hairy back. Like my niece came out with like a little hairy back. She's a little hairy. You have to like wait for her to beat, you know, like ready. It takes a couple of weeks. So cute. So cute little hairy, baby. Yeah. So they're talking about both being Persian and Charleston. There's like six Persians in Charleston.

They just see each other out. They're like, hey, and then Leva says that Rod is like a real party guy, but he's like ready to settle down, not like the other lost boys of Charleston. And she thinks that he's like a really good catch. But then he starts to share about his non-romance with Olivia. Oh God. Yeah, I'm just cringing. Rod just makes me cringed at this point.

And for us, I was like, oh, he's okay. And now I'm not a hater or anything, but I'm cringing. He's like, yeah, me and Olivia, like things were going well, but then I could feel something off, like she was pulling away from me. So I just kept buying more gluten-free bread. So I came just before I knew it,

there was just like a gluten-free wall between us, you know? I was like, you're gonna try and eat this wall. It's gonna stand there. It's still there. Just a hard, crusty gluten-free. You know, it makes a harder crust than gluten bread, which is weird. But it's there. Pretty impenetrable now.

So. Yeah. So, you know, here's my take on it, Rod. You know, from what I know about Olivia, there's like safety, and this is the devil I know as opposed to this guy doesn't need salad. So, you know, I think that like that might be her mindset right now, unless you probably thought Austin was like great when she met him, and then she realized through Austin that you can never trust men, they all are fucking

liars, they're gonna play with your minds and your hearts, and basically he ruined her for you and all the other men. So yeah, you should probably move on now. Well, while we're cringing, let's just keep the cringes going and have a JT scene. So JT shows up at a park in his little toy Jeep. Is this a smaller Jeep than normal Jeeps? Because this looks like one of those electric toy Jeeps that people buy their babies on real housewives of New Jersey.

It was, it was like, yeah, it was like the Jeep that they drove on Real House of New York to go to that bar. It was, you know, when you like the Jeep that they drove on Real House of New York to go to that bar. It was, you know, when you go on the Paramount Studios tour or at least when I went on it, they pointed out on their New York City set that they're different sized doorways. They have small doorways to make people

like shorter actors look taller. And I kind of felt like that's what this was for JT. He was like, let me scale down my car. So I look more proportionate with it. Yeah, you're talking about like the Tom Cruise doors where they have like whole sounds like Tom Cruise. I wasn't gonna say it because I didn't want to get sued. But yeah, there's like literal doors for Tom Cruise

at the time, and really every studio that are like doors to make insecure short actors. I'm like, why would they be insecure as I'm sitting here like, like, JT guys, fall cars, or we look bigger? I know, I'm always like, stop short-saming everybody. Shall we, men don't have to be six but four? This is ridiculous. And then I just continue to short-same, like, for five hours.

It's been really fun, I have to say. I've never really been a short-samer, but here I am. I'm enjoying it. Here we are, saving JT. And I actually really like JT shamer, but here I am. I'm enjoying it. Here we are, shaving JT. And I actually really like JT. I like him quite a bit. And here I am just making fun of him. I don't.

I feel like he's a pint of cringe at this point. He's really bothering me at this point. He shows up at the lake. That was a short shamer. That was a little short shamer. I'm warning. I was a little short shamer. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. You just lit it right in there. You lit that short shamer right in there. He's a pint of, he's a little short shame. I was a little short shame. Just hang with the warning. You just lit it right in there. You just lit that short shame. You're right in there. He's a pint of, he's a pint of cream. So he shows up with a short, jeep, a little jeep and a picnic basket with two glasses of champagne in it. I mean, this guy just,

Well, one glass, it was one glass and one thimble. Yeah, go on. And JT is like, wow, and Taylor, of course, dead face Taylor comes and he's like, so I don't know if you're gonna drink in a bar, but fuck it, okay, you're a lady. Sorry, I said fucking Freddie, that's terrible. Whoa, got some meat, got some meat.

I wanna look at it, look at that, look at that. You wanna pop it? Come on, I don't wanna litter, I don't wanna kill you. how are we gonna pop this champagne? Am I charming, am I charming you? No, stop, stop bringing a picnic with champagne. She's not into you, bro, back away from Taylor. She is not, she is not. Also, by the way, there is a very simple way

to pop a champagne cork without littering, which is that you just put your hand around the cork, like 99% of the population does, and you just twist it until the cork comes loose. Also in the trailer for this show, because we did a trailer breakdown for this, I seem to remember there was a scene where J.T. and Taylor went and got drinks at a bar and they're close to each other and then they fall over in the bar. And we have yet to see that, correct? I don't remember that. Do you think that's been cut out? I don't know. Wow. It seems weird because it's like a chalk full of super action scenes this season. So I don't know.

I mean that whole that whole 10-minute section with them fishing last week was. Do you know what? By the way, I regret even advocating for another scene to be put in because we cannot have more supersized episodes of like fishing and walking around parts. Yeah, be careful what you ask for. So get us out of here. Be careful what you ask for. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's coming.

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You can binge the entire series right now on the Amazon music app or audible. So JT is like, you know, she's very social and I'm very social. And so it just so happened, we started hanging out in downtown Charleston and we went to Europe together with some friends. God, you are so creepy. That's not what happened. You went to Europe, you rented a home to see the open or whatever and then you invited Taylor to come for free with her friends.

Don't make it sound like you and Taylor went to Taylor went to Europe together and also invited some friends. You're creeping the out at this point. And I suggest Taylor stop talking to him. Well, since I like him, that means he's inevitably going to be terrible. So that way, it's all the worst people on Bravo. There's like a, there's a trail of me advocating for them on this show. Getting stuck. Congrats. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do love this.

It's like a love triangle, but it's actually a love rhombus, but like his side of the rhombus is it gets in taken very seriously because he's like in love with her. So he's like, well, I'm going to toast to you for surviving the mountains. Yeah. It was surreal. It was just a real moment when Shep said that thing. He was, yeah, it was hard to watch. You mainly because I had to climb up on top of that chair

to get a good view. But I had to walk. Literally. But I have your back. I put my foot on a selfie stick and then I pressed record and lifted it above people's heads and then Shet moved a little bit to the right and blocked it again.

So, it's rough. And then I was so upset when Austin took it and used it to pick out stuff from the teeth. I was like, I never should have used that teeth pick for my phone. I'm terrible. This is like a little worse thing we could be doing. Well, what are we supposed to be?

Go get a life. I mean, come on. No, this is it. Do something. So, at that moment, I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with anything, but have you ever had that moment where you're sitting there thinking about your life

and what you've done in your life? And like, if you're even like doing anything worth it, I'm like, I'm a really horrible person. And then I'll try and just and change it in my mind. Like, no, you're just trying to be funny. Like, no, you're mean. You're a mean person and you're a bully. And what do these people do?

They've literally done nothing to me. And I just sit there and I bully them. What am I gonna say? Like if heaven's real and I go and I'm standing at the pearly gates and they're like, well, what have you done? I'm just gonna say, talk shit about people literally every day.

And I felt really sad about it. And then I looked next to me and there was my dog and looked down at me and I had my eye pad full of Southern charm notes and I said, fuck it! This is what I wanna do. This is what I was born for. And if you don't like it,

you shouldn't have fucking made me this way. And I felt much better. You better hell. You're going to hell. No, I'm much better. You're going to hell. You're going to hell. No, I'm just kidding. Listen, I do, do I ever sit here and say, what am I doing with my life? Well, let's see, on Monday,

spent an hour pretending I was Karen Huber doing fence cosplay on Tuesday. I screamed at a stew on below deck for an hour. On Wednesday, I made a front of the way to pick up a tuna melt with her fork. And today, here I am making short jokes about JT, a condition he can't even help. It's not even a condition, it's just a stature.

So what am I doing with my life? I really don't have a nice answer for it. Listen, this means I'm cold to me. Okay, I love you. I hurt people, hurt people. God. So, so, but JT's basically like, yeah, it was really hard watching that, but don't worry, I've got your back. And, but then it was also weird because then you guys

woke up in the same bed together and I thought like, you would see that ships a piece of shit, and I'm a great guy, and I also am better at big bang than him, so what else does a guy have to do? You know? And she's like, yeah, I think that that case might have been like more of an apology kind of a case. And she's like, wait, you kiss people to apologize? Well, you've offended me. I just want you to know that. Why? You're supposed to apologize.

Please, just apologize. She's, I don't know. I thought she was going to say no. She's trying to apologize to me, but she goes, I don't know. I thought she was going to say no, she was trying to apologize to me, but she goes, I don't know. How many times did we go into the room together, JT, and go to sleep? It's just, that's what it was. Two people who are friends and just have no chemistry

and we're never going to hook up, just sleeping next to each other. She's just lies. She's just positive lies. I don't believe anything she says anymore. And he's like, well, familiarity, right? Here's the ball. Would you throw it again? Throw it again, I'll catch it. I will catch. And he's like, well, familiarity, right? Oh, here's the ball. Would you throw it again? Throw it again. I'll catch it. I will catch it. She's like, yeah, well, I guess I'm just going to be a simp

I'm going to go back. I don't know. The second we broke up, I should have got a therapist You think you think as you go on into downward spiral all season on TV the second you started dating chef You should have gotten it there, Prest. You should have gotten it there. Even if you didn't know at first, you watched this show, okay? You should have gotten it there. I think that's, yeah, I advocate for everyone to get out there at this these days.

So JT is like, well, I'm noticing a trend with you. I want to say an upward trend, but that's kind of way all the trends are in my life. So you got burned. So now you're like, I got burned. And now I've got very badly burned. And so now I've got a flamethrower. And I'm just going to cook everybody, which reminds me, you want to barbecue together. Maybe go Korean barbecue. I'm going to do that. You like a date. You're going to cook. And just like I imagine you cooking for our kids, grandkids, cooking for years. Now listen, you're queen, but you shouldn't

use your power in a bad way. You know, so the conversation should have been Olivia Hayer M. Tristan Austin, and then Austin says to Olivia and shep, hey, I'm interested in Taylor. And then you say, actually, no, I'm not. This new man came into my life, J.T. What a man. I'm interested in J JT. Try that. Try it that way. I like to interrupt this scene to say, I know the queen. I've had beef wellington with the queen.

And this is no queen. Thank you very much, Paul. People back to my panelists. So she's like, yeah, but I mean, I can't really blame Austin because I caught him off guard. That's the thing. And JT's like, wait a minute, so you initiated it? I'm confused.

She goes, yeah, I initiated it. And he goes, wow, wow, that's a bombshell. She goes, yeah, I take full responsibility for it. He's like, whoa, bombshell, boom, bang. So maybe as a queen maybe you should maybe you should use some of that power to feel like initiate and something else maybe with the picnic lower of Charleston here by the riverbank anything no no okay well I really have no shot with her do a he doesn't realize that at all right keep just keep keep sawing swimming. You know, you gotta get him credit.

So Taylor's saying, yeah, like, she's telling us. She's like, it wouldn't be weird and crazy. I mean, I guess it was seem weird and crazy, but like, it wouldn't be the first time that like, two couples break up, and then like, there's a best friend, and then there's another best friend, and then like, then other people end up together

like I'm human. Yeah, I did not want to hurt Olivia. If anything, I would want to hurt Shep more than ever Olivia and I wouldn't want to hurt Olivia and I did and it sucks. I don't know if it'll get better. I don't know. I just wish that there were some eligible bachelor here in Charleston who would treat me right and be the man that I so deserve. Oh well. So you're saying I have a chance. I'm sorry. Where are you? Right here. Look down. Oh, I'm my knee. Hi there. Why are you wearing a cheerio? Why is there a green tennis ball at my feet? So we go over to Pat's house and Whitney is calling around to invite Chef to the dinner. He's like,

remember? Remember we talked about that dinner? Is it gonna be frozen cake? Bro, I really don't know if I wanna eat that cake. It's really old cake. Well, usually mom would be hosting but she fucked up her back. And then we see yesterday Patricia and her bed going, oh thank you honey, for the coffee. I can't drink this coffee.

It's black. I can't drink black coffee. You would black. I can't drink black coffee. You would think you'd know how your mother likes a coffee. After 82,000 years, and we don't have any cream here in the house. Okay, everyone, ladies and gentlemen, this is a cautionary tale, Camilla. You better listen up.

I got out of bed at five in the morning and the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and excruciating pain. I guess I tripped off of Randy's skateboard. He left around. But the rain fall. I wouldn't, put some of that oatmeal that you drink in here.

Yeah, put some of that ridiculous oatmeal. And can I have it in the blue and white cups to match the day cold instead of this tacky, russotch thing? What am I, from New Jersey? Thank you for listening to my cautionary tale. And can I have it in the blue and white cups the match the day call instead of this tacky russotch thing? What am I after New Jersey? Thank you for listening to my cautionary tale. Now, you should have heard Camilla's cautionary tale.

It was much shorter. One word, Diana. So now I've got a compression fracture of the spine. Usually takes six months for bones to heal, and if you're older, it takes longer. And if you got an absolute idiot of a son and even bigger idiot of a butler, it's gonna just be a permanent disability

for the rest of your life. So Venita arrives at a public space without her dog. I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to know who this person is? I mean, I was like, why are you not sitting out your mirror talking to Charles? Where? So what does Charles think about this? Does Charles like your sweater?

I mean, and that even stranger Madison walks in just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt where their hair pulled back. It's like, what is happening in the scene? That's unbelievable. So Vanita's like, I just got back from fashion week. What'd you do?

She's like, I'll, you know, cook, cleaned, raised child, raised husband, you know, shaved back. Whatever Martha Stewart did. Hey, Corn. So Venita's, they're talking about Venita being in fashion week and everything.

And Mathin's like, oh, by the way, speaking of New York, what's going on with Mani? And we see a flashback to a scintillating dinner date with Mani, the man of huge personality. Hey, Mani, can you believe it's our anniversary? Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, it's wonderful. Yeah. Are you happy? I'm happy. Are you happy? That'd be too. It's just Charles. Yes, Charles is happy as well. Okay. It made me pine for Charles. I was like, you know what? We should probably have more Charles content. I felt bad for complaining about Charles so much.

I was like, I need Charles back. I know, I was like, Charles has so much charisma, bring him back. So Venita asks Madison what it's like being married in like distance, like that's even harder than being away from Annie. And Madison's like, well, I've joined custody with my kids. So I figure if I can be separated from my kid, I can be

separated from my husband. I mean, we're talking about having a baby. That's going to be a lot less separation, I think. I mean, this time we're going to plan it. We're going to take our time, like, listen, we literally fall asleep, holding hands. And they're disgusting. God, I love it. So then we go to Austin and Craig meet me put a bar and Austin, long time quite literally

no see. Craig's like, I think I'm going to get a beer. What do you want? Drop-up. Oh, you're still trying to make that happen. Okay. Cool. Good luck.

Well, you know what? This place is really cool. It's like an island. I want to live on an island like an alternative lifestyle. Yeah, I would be happy living on an island bartending for the rest of my life, just tossing bottles and spin them around and be like a ruba, Jamaica. Ooh, I want to take you from you to Baha Maha. Come on, pretty mama. Kilar go. I'm I'm pretty mama. Kilar go. Montego. Baby. Why don't we go to the cocoa? Moe. We get there fast and then we take it slow. That's where we want to go. Way down in. What was I singing again? I hate the silent. I told you that you're not allowed to use those lyrics as the vow for a wedding.

So Austin's like, look, I got a two-text from Olivia. I mean, wow, I don't even know why she just keeps texting me. Austin is such a disgusting person. Every time I see him, he infuriates me. So you're gonna start this whole Olivia, we have so much like a so much trauma in common. Let's be close and then she's text you and you are sure to bring it up on TV

to make it sound like she's totally after you and you don't even know how to deal with her because she just keeps't stop texting. You were such a fucking pig, dude. At this point, it's a disorder. I don't even think, I don't even think it's, it's douxiness at this point. It's beyond that.

It's actually medical, it's medically termed doux disorder. He actually has doux disorder. So Craig is like, you know, there's a lot of unresolved feelings there and she wants to like you and then she remembers you did something nefarious. He's still trying to work that one out. Farious. He's like, I can't get it.

Cause we're heads all over the place and you know, that's why I'm flying, not to jump, I'll leave you in front of that. Other than to be a friend. That's all I don't want to be a friend. And Craig's like, oh my God, you know what? I never lecture you, but you know my theory on spending time with X's, because my theory is page doesn't like it. Wait, did I mess that up?

They all live in Texas. So, yeah, this is, wait, my theory on X's is, wait, baby, can you text me the theory on X's again? Shut up. I'm in the middle of something that I guess that's my theory. Pigeons aren't very bad. That's my theory. So, yeah, Craig's basically like, yeah, welcome to Charleston. He's like, it's incestuous here. We can't go away from our X's and Austin's going down that hole.

Yeah, but you're also on a TV show. And I think that's the whole there. And because they're all like feel forced to date somebody that's on the show or they end up bringing somebody on the show. And it's like, okay, well, we've just brought two people on the show that we're dating. So now do we bring someone else on the show? They're like, what do we do? So Craig's like, you know, just like so proud of like how you handled, shopped the other night because like, you know, like you didn't do anything to shop that night. Well, I mean, I guess you did hook up with this girlfriend. And that drives him mad, quite literally mad because when he was talking to me,

he was like, me and Taylor used to make fun of you. Uh-huh. Shpp has seemingly forgiven me, but I just know that this is not the last of her to this. Yeah. And you know what? I feel like Taylor, like Taylor, her camp was Shepp like that was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Like the most pathetic maneuver for her.

It's like quite literally. He said it's all good. She'd honor her and then she ended up in bed with him. But meanwhile, like, you know, Austin, you are angling to get back into bed with Olivia's, which is pretty much the same thing. So Craig is like, yeah, well, you were her confidant for a long time before she realized how na fa, or yes, you are. I know that and I'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces next time. Girls, girls, dro, boys, rule.

So awesome basically is like, so awesome does this thing, which I think is really dickish if you're like has if you're like really good friends with Taylor Like really besties and you said all these great things Then he's like I've told her respect yourself a demand more respect from other people But she's she's not gonna listen. You could be a horse to water, but you can't make a drink. I mean, it's one thing for us as viewers to be like, come on Taylor, respect yourself more. But if you're like her best friend and you're like, oh, well, whatever, fuck her.

I out of the secret and now shatter her world even more and now like, oh, respect yourself more. It's like, no Austin, be a good friend to her. Now he's never her friend. And as we see later in the scene, it is always been just about Austin and Shepp getting with each other. They really, for both of them.

Like, at this point, I don't even think either one of them really. Which I think is amazing. By the way, which I think is amazing, I think the show is, does such a great job of showing such a unique side of male relationships. Like, the male frenemy dynamic is so fascinating on the show. When I was watching it later, and the episode, like, what comes up later in the episode,

I was just like, this is great. This is what I love about the show. Well, let me just say it again. You can lead a horse to quite, but you can't make it literally. So, that's where I stand with this whole thing. So, then we go. it took me a second. And we go to Brett, the private chef in the kitchen. And Brett is one of those people I think who spends a lot of time alone and just talks to himself.

Brett, I think we both get. Yeah. Brett seems like someone who is definitely on an episode of Real Sex on HBO doing like some tantric shit like Yes, the Wellington he is like I feel like he does some kinky shit You know behind closed doors and like he is here and he is he is really All up in this Wellington Compliments himself the whole time. He's like, wow, would you look at that Wellington?

Mm, yeah. Commissions. Here comes one right now. So Whitney is watching him cook, and he's like, up, for me, I would not be doing a world dinner in honor of an aquanistic monarch. I mean, sorry, Chuck, I couldn't Chuck. He loves that.

He loves that. Whitney, part of Southern Elite is thumbing his nose at the monarchy. All right, where'd he go? So Brett's like, okay, wait, let's gather around. Okay, tonight you're just a penguin and then we're good. Okay, you're gonna serve my masterpiece to the people and you're gonna watch them orgasm in their faces

and you're gonna tell me all about it and you'll be so lucky you had this experience because I'm not paying you shit. You just get paid with memories, Brett memories. There's like six waiters there. This is crazy. Okay, so that's how they do it over there. So Whitney's like, I've been to formal dinners.

You know, been lucky enough to go to a lot of them, but I'm not usually the host of them. So, it's not. So he has to call Patricia and Bed. And he's like, do I put the centerpiece on her off the table? She said, you can't have a new table. You have to send pictures of it all over Charleston. He's like, well, why are all these footmen here or whatever they're called?

It's a British technique for servant dinner that you see in Buckingham Palace. The place you'll never be invited to. It's the proper way to save. A way to for every single person which just shows how wealthy you are compared to everyone else. Unlike the women in this town, there's a way to for every man. Wait, what am I trying to say there?

Unlike the man to the women ratio, you know what, let's just edit that out a lot of case. I didn't edit that out. Thanks. Thanks, Hilda. Okay. So, oh, well, mother, this was a proper in the 1790s, mother. Yeah.

Well, that's my error. So don't give me a hard time. Just go with the flow and enjoy it, which is what I always say every time I vlog a Randy. Go with it or I'm cutting off funding to read knob, Yalooza. So, Chef comes over in his smoking jacket thing and are smoking jackets things that you wear

like to dinner? Aren't you supposed to wear them to sleep? Well, I don't know, I've never worn one. I thought they were like an after dinner thing. I did not know that if you're having dinner with footmen and everything that like a smoking jacket would be appropriate, but I'm also not well versed on this sort of stuff. I feel like my knowledge took me to a certain point, but I just I don't know. Does someone like say footmen like? Lars, this is not for you. Are you sure? Because like, do you have a fit only pants?

So. So, interestingly, like, JT and Rod were not invited to this, but Rod Rigo was, which makes sense because Rod Rigo definitely strikes me as more of like the wasp type. He sort of has that kind of aloof, sort of like the a loop token gay and a wealthy circle, you know, like making smarty snarky remarks off to the side. He's also not competition, I guess. You know, it's like a guy thing. And Whitney really is not, he's the producer of the show and I would presume he has something

to do with casting as people sent him dudes and stuff, but he's just not gonna let anybody come over to his house, he just won't be there. Like that night, he was like, come over and party. And then Venita said, is that everybody? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, just mad at him Greg. And then tonight, he's like, yeah,

I'm just not gonna have those new cast members over. Sorry, have't earned it. See ya. Not yet. So, people start arriving and then Randy offers the cocktails, either the King Charles or the Jubilee, and then Austin and Craig are heading over in the golf cart. They're clearly both wasted and Craig is like, hey, let me smack one of these cars we drive.

Come on, get up close. Do you want your hand to crank or do you not waste it? That sounds like a great idea. It has wasted already. I don't hear the car. And then Randy comes out. Every time I see Randy, I think, who hurt Martin Sheen?

Do you guys see, just looks like I've heard of my own machine. So then when he's called so mom texted on, she said, put a wee pad down on this white sofa for one cogs. It sounds good one mother. Mother is good one. It's funny. It's funny.

Regret Rodriguez like, yeah, for some reason, Austin and Craig were drinking blueberry wine. I mean, then we went fishing and then Craig said he's already approached the line of Ascent Page about marriage. I mean, I guess she's got kind of... Garsh cold feet. Oh, that was hilarious. That was hilarious.

You know, she might have a different plan for her life other than the white pick of fans and the pool that's never ready. Hey, what's going? So crazy. We're here bitches. Conquest and trust the scene shipface. Slount, you know, sweet as the door open. And I think you could cast a ship and his foot is his ship's foot is vibrating More intensely than we've seen all season that ship stress foot because Austin's his competition by the way, shepp looks like absolute dog shit He's puffy his his whole face is puffed clothes

He looks like he just woke up in an alley on his face. He's red faced. It's not going well for a shot. Guys, so he's already pissed. And so Austin comes in and they're both, you know, give pissed off energy. And Austin's like, uh, Austin's so fucking, I can't with, Austin's like, so you're gonna offer something? What are you? Is someone gonna offer something?

It's like, Jesus Christ, calm down. That's all he does is come in here. I was like, are you gonna Is someone gonna offer something? It's like Jesus Christ, calm down. That's all he does is come in here and it's like, are you gonna give me anything? He's multiple times now, Austin. Yeah, new money. So then, um, step is like, hey, gosh, hey Austin, Taylor's dog pennies at my house, and her car's at my house.

We had lunch today together. That's all he had to say, it was basically to like, brag about proximity. House and her car is at my house. We're lunch today together. Especially like that's all you can say was basically to like brag about proximity. Yeah, he's like he won. He's like see tailors in my house. He's so sad. It's so transparent. So, so then Craig is like, so did you not hook up in the mountains? No. Well, gosh, we made out and then I passed out and then she came in 20 minutes later and then tried to wake me up but I was like,

blah, totally innocent. Austin, why are you so quiet? He's like, I'm just quite literally roving, reveling in the old company. So, I'm then shut and Austin just kind of look off pissed off at each other. And then, um, let's see, Brett. Brett pulls the Wellington out of the up buttons. It's a perfect every time. And my talking about me, or my talking about the Wellington turns out it's

both. How did that even happen? I was like, what is this one random line about Brett? That was it. Brett's like, oh,, my willingly and fucking nail that is usual. Yeah. So now Shep's like, gosh Craig, we gotta hang out. I'm not gonna lie to you, Shep. I've been something of a nefarious hermit lately. Yeah, no shit. I mean, I don't hate it, man.

I really like being staying in because it gives me a certain, hold on, page told me what I should say. It gives me a certain sort of energy and that way I can stay home and watch love Island and then also browse the internet for fashion trends. So that's why I stay in. Whatever you say, do not say page just doesn't fucking like you,

you fucking dish have a bluser. You really need a cold press on your face. I mean, I'm only assuming LOL Craig. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oops. So yeah, it's by the way, hilarious and blatantly obvious that page does not like ship whatsoever. Like the fact that they're like not hanging out,

like that is evident. Yeah. And so he's like, yeah, well, you're the thing. We just, you know, she's like, Craig, I'm 30 years old. He goes, so, so you can't go out anymore. I mean, I'm 43. You're fucking pathetic.

Okay. I think that's one thing all viewers of this show can agree upon, okay. It's not doing you good. So Craig's like, well, is there a world where you get to know Paige in a world that's not through nightlife or with someone whose name is just Paige, but it's not actual Paige,

because I don't think she'll ever speak to you. Cars, yeah, but you have to initiate it. Oh, okay, well, sure. And say, you know what we should do? We should all travel somewhere. Wait, guys, sure. And say, you know what we should do? We should all travel somewhere. Wait, guys, this might sound crazy, even though we do this literally every year. But why don't we take a group trip to Jamaica? Ooh, I want to take it.

That was a callback. Craig seriously shut the fuck up. I can feel you singing Coco Mo. Please stop. Craig, Marlite, Coco, no. Okay, stop it. I told you five times, no more singing of that song. So they're like, let's do a weekend in Jamaica.

And then we cut to Brad Coyne. Oh, yeah, perfect Wellington. Guess what? It has been for 50 years. Mm. It's so exciting about the Wellington. So then Whitney hits a gong and Craig's like, I think I just heard a gong. So yes, you did.

So they also down for dinner and Whitney has spelled Austin's name, name card, A-U-S-T-I-N, which is not how you spell his name. I was like, of course, how do you spell my name wrong? You fucking asshole, quite literally. Aw, it's insane right now, man. So then the waiter parade comes in and serves them. And Austin goes, I went to the risk, Carlton, and this is totally how they start.

To the left, to the left, from the left, that's how they do it. Well, everyone, congratulations, you're in my presence. I'm Brett, the chef. And in 1974 in Buckingham, everyone, congratulations, you're in my presence. I'm Brett the chef. And in 1974, in Buckingham Palace, your mom, Whitney, Miss Pat, she had this meal. This is your perfectly cooked, instantly iconic. You'll always remember it as Mr. Brett's great creation. Be dwelling to enjoy.

Yeah. You know, she had this at Bucking and palace and between dinner and dessert, she sluts shamed Camilla and handed a sketch of Catherine to the world guard in case she ever tried to show her face in London. Enjoy boys. Thank you. Enjoy. Oh wow. Good food.

Good meat. Good God. Let's eat. I possibly had sex with Taylor today in Austin didn't. Oh wow. Let's eat. Just the way I ate out. I possibly had sex with Taylor today and Austin didn't. Oh, wow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's like, wow, they're a few good looking ones. It's been a while. They're walked out while he's saying that. Can I tell you what I was not looking forward to was watching

Austin eat, but let's do it anyway. As Austin chooses food to the front of his mouth while it's open and spewing everywhere. Why do we why are we subjected to this every single fucking time? Did you know that you usually only get beef Wellington as a password or a derivative, because no one puts the time into it

for a full-size serving? You'd find all that stuff and more in my new book. Well, Wellington, it's not just for the beef anymore. It seemed to be published by slowing down South in, friends. Wellington, nefarious or not. I actually have a pillow that looks like a slice of beef well intent itself is really well. And then get in. Okay, so what are we talking about now? So it's just like making some I'm not know, not you personally, the sound. No, no, you should ask what I'm

talking about, because I'm like, you can cook them all and make you up a strange story. Love it. Love it. So they ask Whitney, like, what did you hear about this trip? And Whitney's like, uh, not much. I heard from the editors we have about nine hours of bad fishing.

So I'm looking forward to the day on that one. And also like, Libby, yes. You just heard a one side of the chef's bullsh one. And Austin's like, Lovies, you just heard a one side of Shep's bullshed. And Shep's like, oh, yeah, cause you're so impartial Austin. He's like, yeah, well, Shep has some, you know, like, winning, Shep had a fucking rampage, okay?

A fucking quite literal rampage. Quite little, he got whiskey mints. And Shep is like, Austin, you don't have a big leg just stand on with this one. No, no, no, no, no. You don't have a big moral leg just stand on with this one. So you kind of deserved a little derision from me. You did ostensibly cross me and I chose to be a gentleman had gracious about it.

You ostensibly cross me. Oh my God. I think you have to say. and I was impressed by it, even though I don't know what a sensible means. And said then, well, you didn't choose to be a gentleman. You were like, I don't know how the fuck to deal with this right now because one of my best friends hooked up with my acts. As funny, I have a theory about acts

that they don't want wanna hear it again. Although, let me scroll to a page text, stop singing co-como, you fucking idiot. Sorry, it's gonna take me a bit. No, listen. You need to say, like, I don't like to you hook up with Taylor, because bro code, you know? So, like, you're not telling him things that's on your mind so tell him this is crazy and Austin's like

you know what I feel fucking bad I've been trying to a tone for it how have you been trying to how have you been trying to a tone for ending any you yeah how is that I've not seen that she's like and I'm the one that should be mad at you and I'm like to fend you inside my head and then meanwhile inside Brett's like, and I'm the one that should be mad at you. And I'm like, to fettin' you inside my head. And then meanwhile inside, Brett's like, he's torching a, I'm a rang around a baked laska. He's like, yeah, goddamn, that's pretty fucking good. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm like, you know what,

I do appreciate that he served a dessert that looks like Camilla Parker-Bulls here. Now that I think about it. Actually, when Patricia was talking about her earlier, they showed a picture of her with this crazy hat that like has spikes, but there's like spikes being blown in the wind and melted to the left. And that is, that is what this picture looks like of the picture. You know, I, I did once encounter Camilla Parker-Bulls. Did you ever know that? No, it's just true.

This is a true story. I went to London with my friend Jason, my friend Matt. Matt went off to go see a Kylie Minogue exhibit at a museum, which was hilarious. And then Jason and I went to the Tower of London. And there was so much security. And we didn't know why, but we're like, oh, there's so much security. we didn't know why but we're like, oh, there's so much security.

We were basically like 2007, we were just like, bratty gays, like, oh my god, there's like security here. This is stupid. We just want to see this tower. It's not even a tower. It's just like a courtyard. And so we're like walking through and there's just, there's so many people there and we're trying to go see the, the, the crown jewels. That's a big thing that they have at the Tower of London is like, you go go see the crown jewels.

That's a big thing that they have at the Tower of London is like you go to see the crown jewels. And so we're trying to get to the crown jewels and there's like a beef eater, one of these guards who's like, can't walk over here, but he's like, British like, can't walk over here. So we're like standing at the front of this line

trying to get across this path. I'm like, oh, why do we have to wait? This is stupid. Like we just want to see the crown jewels. I can't believe that, why do we have to wait? This is stupid. Like we just want to see the crown jewels. I can't believe that we thought there should be some sort of performance or whatever. And then we see that this path is leading up to a doorway and we're like, oh, who's in there?

Tony Blair. I mean, we're really saying these things. And we're saying it out loud too. Like come on out, Tony Blair. So the door opens and out walks Prince Charles. Prince Charles walks out and it turns out that it was visit Britain week and like all the royals were going to all the tourist destinations.

So Prince Charles walks down this path, inches from me and like there was Prince Charles and it was shocking and I was like, oh my God, it's Prince Charles, it's Prince Charles. And then Camilla Parker Bowles came out also, and then she had a big floppy hat, exactly how you described it. And this is big feathery thing.

And I just remember seeing it from like across the courtyard, this big floppy Camilla Parker Bowles thing. And it was literally the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. It was so cool. God, I'm really actually disappointed in this story. I really, you should have put out your butt, tripped him, and said, that's for Diana,

you fuck. It was actually great because while everyone was like swarming Prince Charles and Camilla, we got to go see the crown jewels and there's normally a huge line for the crown jewels. It's so big that they have like people move in there. So you can't even like waste time. You get on the people move, and you just go live, you buy it. We got to go through like three times

because of Prince Charles. So worked out. It's great. Wow. That's cool. I wanna do that. Why'd you do something? I mean, I guess there's not a huge arc.

I'm not a good one. Sorry, except that. Does not a huge arc accept that it was like really cool. I need an arc. It was a good story. I was just thinking like how much I don't do. It's like, who'd a thought? You know? But who'd a thought you'd go to the Tower of London

and actually run into Prince Charles and Camilla? Yeah. Like that was, it's like wild. And he was so close and I took a photo of him with my camera and I lost my camera that day and I was so mad. And I'm just imagining the person who found my camera and was looking through the pictures. I was like, oh, there's a picture of a bus.

There's a picture of Wacomama. There's a picture of Prince Charles. How'd that get in Wacomama. There's a picture of Prince Charles. How'd that get in there? Wow, why would someone be this close to Prince Charles and not trip them? It's me. I've got your camera. Just don't understand this person.

Yeah, I would have been thrown into the Tower of London and I didn't need to do that. So I got very star-stroke, yeah. Oh, Prince Charles. I never thought. I don't care about the royals. No, it's weird because when you're over there, everything gets so many Instagram followers. Black eyes back. No, it's weird because over there everything is like at that time obviously Queen Elizabeth was alive So everything was like her majesty's this her majesty's that like the royal family is actually everywhere there It's like on everything and you get caught up

and you sort of just sort of, it's like to see this person who is like, this figurehead of this society. It's like, I was shocked at how, how bubbly I got. I just remember fumbling for my camera and like shaking and I like, I'm like sort of embarrassed. That's what happens.

So you, I love it. But I did not, an invitation for Beef Wellington. What is it? That's really cute. I don't do anything. I never go anywhere. But I do like that. It's hard not to be jealous.

Not other Prince Charles part. No, I would want to see Prince Charles. I just want to be a heckle Prince Charles in person. I think that would be so. Well now he's King Charles. Listen, Ron and we'll go to London and we're gonna bring you right up to Westminster Abbey and be like, this isn't the Abbey. Where the hell are you going to? I'm tired. Okay, so Craig, back, we cut from Brett jizzing all over his baked Alaska to Craig continuing going Shab just say like you're crazy I don't know how to be friends with you anymore Austin cuz like if he worked up with page I wouldn't even know how to be friends with him anymore

I mean Craig you can just practice on Whitney cuz didn't he hook up with Naomi after you like you seem to be okay with that I mean exactly what is all this like sudden Craig is just, can't he so morally opposed and why aren't we working out of feeling, I mean, he's not your boss, I guess, but Craig also just wants someone to yell at Austin, because Craig can't stand Austin, I think on a certain level, and he wants Shep just to yell at him. I think he can't stand at his. I think he wanted them really.

This is Craig. I actually, that might actually be fair. So Shep is like, I'm a fairly happy human being has evidenced by my very charming reaction to losing BingBong and everything's going well. Yeah, you look great, Sen. You look super happy, okay.

Yeah, Chef has now tripped five foot men with his shaking foot. You look like the human, you look like the human embodiment of like the flu virus. Like you look, you look like that commercial is like, Buffy had stuffiness. So you can rest medicine. What is that? I don't know if I like the pages now rating it. Nike will. The sneezes. Sneezzy sniffling up late at night stuck in bed with Craig the snazzy snazzy sniffling up late at night stuck in bed with Craig

in Charleston. We have to know what this is. This is going to make people. It's like the second time we've gone down the night. We'll have the night. So you are the nighttime sniffling sneezing coughing, aching stuffy head fever so you can rest face. Okay, please rest. I shut quail creation story.

What's the what's the pepto bismal thing that's like diarrhea? Oh, not that part. Boone. What is it? Pepto bismal song. Dun dun dun dun dun. Nazia heartburn indigestion. Absent stomach.

Diary. Da da da, Nazia, Hartburn, Indigestion, Upset, Stomach, Bioree, Hark, Charleston. No, that's a song I can get behind. Hark, that's basically like that's why I'm in a Pokemon. Bioree, Na'am in Cocoa, Mokrega. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake.

I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake.

I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a quake. I'm a, okay, I'm mortified for you right now. Yeah, me too. By the way, I just wanna say, Chef Brett,

I mean, he's hilarious, he's a character, but damned to that food. Oh my God, that Wellington looked delicious and the baked Alaska, which perfect. Incredible. Oh my God, Chef Brett, you can come here and cook anytime you want. And you can talk to yourself and amp yourself up any way you want, because you, sir, are skilled.

Yeah, I wish he had come out and presented it first. Even though we got to see it on TV. I was like, wow, how could you even cut into that? I mean, it was just... Yeah, he should. Oh, so nice. And he also should have explained the concept of it to Craig just to see his brain explode. So it's ice-screened that you cover with meringue and put in the oven. Blah. Ice-screened in the oven? Hmm. What? I mean, honestly, I don't really get it either. Scream that you cover with meringue and put in the oven. Blah. Ice cream in the oven.

What? I mean, honestly, I don't really get it either. But God, what an amazing, amazing thing. I'm really hungry. So Craig's like, um, yeah, you know what? They bury shake because they're boys. And that's what boys do. And she's like, I don't know how old things pee over people's heads, unless it's money or marriage, or with the promise of future children that I'm never gonna give you and craigs like

Stop saying it doesn't bother you because if someone who's up with your girlfriend you're allowed to be mad and that's the truth about it You're not a fucking super hero you're allowed to be mad And furthermore, there's a sale at Zara do you want me to pick anything up for you? Oh, sorry I read too far in the text Shep is like I think I proved that. And Rod Rigo says, uh, I'm gonna go hang out with the way. Here's they're much more interesting. Hi, boys. So then sheep just walks away. He's like, I think we're Johnny Er.

And Whitney's like, guys, um, thank you so much. Oh, this has been a very compelling evening. So sheep is bothered and Craig's like, I think he's trying to look not bothered. Yeah, you think so? Shep is just sitting there, I mean, Craig is just pushing, pushing, pushing. So he follows Shep and he's like,

are you bothered, say it, say your bother. He's like, you know, I think that everything that needs to be said is already said. He's like, no, say it hurts you too much to brush his subjects. And so you're not gonna brush his subjects. And then you're gonna be a total guy about it. And then you're gonna like, no, say it hurts you too much to purchase subjects. And so you're not gonna purchase subjects. And you're gonna be a total guy about it. And then you're gonna like wonder why

pigeons aren't classified as birds. Craig, they are classified as birds. Damn it. So then Austin and Whitney are talking. And Austin, like everything Shep said tonight was a guess to me. To me. Yeah, he'll double and triple down on it Everything's sharp, said tonight was a guess to me, to me. Yeah, he'll double and triple down on it as if nothing is wrong.

So then Craig, Sultan Ghishek, and he's like, your decision to be like, I'm better than this, I don't wanna lose a friend, we'll eventually make you an angry person. I'm like eventually. Too late. I think your timeline's a little messed up. Yeah, that Wellington has been cooked.

Perfectly mind you. Okay, Brad. All right, Brad. So, Sheppleaves, and he's like, yeah, well, I can tell that Austin's a little shook because I last out and then probably said some things that need to say to him before, but you know what, like stringing Olivia long,

stepping in on Taylor, he should know better. He should be shook. He should be shooketh. I was surprised to tell, I mean, a chef was saying shook. It didn't seem very, you know, chef's like a boomer in the restaurant.

So the rest of the... And he's gonna use it. Yeah. Yeah. So now they go outside, the rest of them go outside to have some cigars. And Austin is like, I'm peeing off the side of this. I'm like, you were in this night. So disgusting. And you're peeing off the side of the, like, and he does this. He did this

on winter house, too. He just pees off the sides of things. Good luck with your winter house. There's precedent, right? Because Kyle Rims went to our house, but going to Patricia's home and pissing over the fucking railing. Just, dude, just fucking disgusting. I can't with this guy. Makes me sound like prudes, I know, but like, no, he's just- Eating with his mouth open, he walks in without ringing the door about half the time and goes, what are you giving me?

What are you ordering me for dinner? Like order me, order for me from the most expensive place in town. What are you making me to drink? Err, yeah. Come on. Come on. Don't think it's expensive place in town. What are you making me to drink? Yeah. Come on. Come on. So to this, Sponking cigars and everything,

Craig's like, Austin hooked up with Taylor, and if you're a betting man and have to put this house in the line, do you think they did more than Kiss or less than Kiss? And then when he was like, Oh, I'm betting on fucking. And I says, well, I own your house then.

So I guess I just peed on my own house. Oh well, because you know what? Like everyone thinks that we did more, and we didn't do more. Yeah, and he's like, well, like, I don't know, like everyone doesn't believe you. And he's like, oh, Craig, you know what? Hey, oh wait.

Did you find Mr. Gaur? And when he's like, it felt, Craig, would you go get Mr. Hey, oh wait. Did you find your cigar? I'm waiting, he's like, it fell. Craig, would you go get my cigar? So I'm gonna get to jump over it and get the cigar. So, wait, he's like, so, how did this all come about? Did you just say like, hey, we should guess. Like what happened? And Austin's like, all right, we'll look.

It takes two to say go, right? But she kind of moved on me. She kind of moved on me, guys. So, blah, blah, blah, right, well, look, it takes you to take a ride, but she kind of moved on me. She kind of moved on me, guys. So, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like I'll be her, you be me. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her.

I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her.

I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her.

I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. I'll be her. thing is, which means that they're probably high listening to music, so dancing, whatever. And Whitney is like, was there tongue-involved or no? And Craig's like, wow, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, you guys have sexual attention, I mean, you guys have sexual attention remember that day at the Commodore one time.

Yeah, yeah, when she left her and then her number's talking about like, how fun it is to make out with people and like, in my mind, I was like, sitting there being like, this is your time, this is quite literally your time, but I didn't do it. I quite literally did not do it this time. So are they talking about, so he said, you said the first day, shepp and her were together, there was tension. At the Commodore, you said that if shepp didn't take her home, you would. So is this the night that they met, like Austin liked her to?

It sounds like she is. And it sounds like taking her home. It's, I think that's what it, it sounds like that's what it was. And Craig's like, yeah, you were like, I'm not going her too. And she's taking her home. It's, I think that's what it sounds like that's what it was. And Craig's like, yeah, you were like, I'm not gonna do it. You're gonna wait till you're dating my buddy to make out with you. Ha ha ha.

And he's like, Tusha, that's Tusha. Sounds like a Tusha. Yeah. Tusha. Last question, last question. And then you're excused. Okay, when you hooked up with Taylor, what did you think in that moment?

You're like, well, I just like, remember the next day, what she called me? Um, you know, like, look, I thought we could bury it. And she called me and I said, thank God, we didn't sleep together, Taylor. Thank God, that is something that we definitely did and we decided we better off as friends, we just bury it and we'd not sleep together.

And we'd always have memories of never having slept together. Craig has so she left your room after you kissed and he goes, who was in my room Craig? And Craig's like, uh, wait, then where was it make out? And he goes, and the kitchen, and he goes, wait, you guys said New York. And then Austin, he just like, move his mouth a lot. And Austin's like, uh, no, Craig, this was like three weeks later, after that, I didn't say it was New York. Craig's like, well Austin, the entire time you said

it happened in New York. So I never said it was in New York. And then we have a flashback of Taylor in that coffee shop in the famous sweater saying, well after New York, I was like, Austin, is this something that we explore? But by the way, she says after New York, so I don't understand this.

So it sounds, I don't know, because at first it sounds like she's backing up what Austin's saying, that it wasn't in New York, but after New York she said, is this something we explore? But does that mean that they made out in New York and so she said after New York, this is something we should explore?

I think it's after New York that they hooked up. I don't know. I don't think they ever said they hooked up in New York. I don't think so either. The whole thing was that, and the whole thing was that Olivia was there in New York that they hooked up. I don't know. I don't think they ever said they hooked up in New York. I don't think so either. The whole thing was that a whole thing was that Olivia was there in New York, because the whole thing is that Olivia left after New York to go to the West Coast and then they went back to Charleston.

But I think that Craig is trying to get Austin to say it was in New York. I think Craig knows that they made out in New York and Craig is trying to get out on camera that they made out in New York, but Austin will fall for it. That makes sense. Austin, that's still sticking to a story that no nothing happened in New York. So Craig's trying to trick him into it.

But what's also clever from Craig is that he has a backup plan. He goes, well, regardless, the sleepover that you had recently, that happened recently. So that would mean that you kissed in New York and then you had sleepovers recently. And so you're telling me that you've already kissed a girl and then you're having private sleepovers and you're not going to make out again. And by the way, they also said they love making out with people. Craig has a point. Craig has a point.

Well, so we see a clip of JT seven weeks ago saying, we all went back to your place. You let me leave. And then it was just the two of you the other night. So there was that where they did the spend the night thing, but it still doesn't mean they kissed in New York. It doesn't, but it's basically saying like Craig is basically trying to sus out that. There's something more happening and there's a cover up and that the truth is out there. So Greg is like, you did something about Boston.

It's finding the truth is out there like the ex files. So that was Sh is out there. So, Greg is like, you did something about Dopp Austin. It's funny that the truth is out there like the ex files. So, that was Shep's ex. The ex files. I like that. So, I'm also like, we did it once, Greg. Deal with it. You did something fucked up, Austin, which Austin knows, but I don't know that you're going to get these details. Although Austin is the biggest confessor. He loves to confess,

and he loves to be like, oh man, I'm sure a bad guy, right? So, well, he confesses and then he throws someone else onto the bus and then they take all the heat like Taylor right now. Not to end the Taylor doesn't deserve heat, but Austin is getting off Scott for it. Yeah. He really is in this whole thing and it's all being turned into like, look at what Taylor did. Taylor's not to be trusted. That's like, Austin's not to be trusted either. Yes, disgusting. Never. Pig. Gross. Wow.

What a great note and the week on, huh? Yeah. That was super fun, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. Really fun. We'll be back for like another million shows next week. We're excited. Watch Mary to Medicine this week.

We will be covering that. Um, I guess it's coming out Sunday or Monday. Who knows? But we'll be back. Appreciate you being here. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to that, um, I guess it's coming out Sunday or Monday, who knows. But we'll be back. Appreciate you being here. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you. When?

Next time, guys. That's when. Next time, bye. Next time. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Saboney, she don't take no baloney. Strong to park with Caitlyn Clark.

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