Watch What Crappens - #2236 RHOSLC Part 2: For Butter or Worse

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Welcome back to part two of our two part recap! Heather teaches the women how to churn butter and wear bonnets on a very pioneering RHOSLC (S04E11).  It’s all fun and games until Lisa wants to kick Monica off the covered wagon.Watch with Crappens on Demand here:  http://bit.ly/crappensvideoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference

in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. Prince Harry spent his life living in the shadow of his mother's tragic death. But when he falls in love, he realizes it's up to him to stop history from repeating itself. In our new series, Prince Harry wins her of change. We'll tell you how a Prince without direction became a duke who found a family. Listen to even the rich on the Wendery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Pioneer Man himself, Mr. Ronnie Caram. Today we are putting on our bonnets and our aprons for part two of our Salt Lake City recap. If you're missing part one, go check out the podcast feed. It is there. Go subscribe. It makes it much easier to deal with that. And without further ado, let's get back into the recap. Okay. Now we get some nice, uh, lethargic a's which always likes and we're at Meredith's house in her kitchen and everywhere she can fit it.

She's got a little hot pink Meredith man's pants poster. She's not willing to actually create a studio headed to brostose style, she's just gonna put stuff around her dining table. So, Meredith's like, Saf, do you like the little personalized Oreos that I got? They all say, and it's more like Morios instead of Oreos! Look how cute they are. Oh, and they are cute. And Justin and Whitney are going to be coming over today to do their marriage podcast. And she's like, my way things about been going, my way things, my way things, my way things, my way things,

my way things, my way things, my way things, my way things. And so we see a couple's dates. We're such like, wow, you guys are so, a lot of of things but let me tell you what you really are you're emotionally aware you're emotionally aware of people thank you yeah um I am emotionally aware of your eyes on my boobs that's not really emotionally aware but you are correct and they are nice they are boobs I actually when I said you you guys actually was specifically talking about your boobs. I like that Meredith's ass. Your boobs get me.

Whenever my feelings are hurt, your boobs get me with me. They're monogamous. I like that Meredith is acting like Whitney is a hard get. Like, Whitney, would you like to talk about you and Justin? Like, she will talk about her and Justin literally anywhere. You can just go to the 7-Eleven, you go to the library, she will talk about them. We don't see a lot of firsts on real housewives.

I will say this is what Somebody calling Whitney a hard get. I don't think that's ever. Maybe Justin actually. So Justin and Whitney show up and what's funny is that they brought up some Vuv. And Vuv comes in that orange box. But from the angle that this was shot at, it kind of looked like Justin was coming

with a giant block of El Vida And what was funny is that like that would not be a strange thing like I can imagine Justin being like Hey, thanks for having us on the podcast. Oh, we've got you some Velvida, which is a traditional Utah Thank you gift. He learned that at his new job He works now And Seth in case you didn't know that Seth had a podcast, he answers the door with his big ass headphones on. Hey guys! Group hug! Come on in podcast, am I right?

I didn't know if I could make it, but when you give your address as Meredith and Seth podcast, Willow Street. Trance out your exactly right. Justin is showing up in his faux-fendi burglar net cap. I can't watch Justin. Please stop putting Justin in these clothes, please. All right, Seth, your setup is really not pretty on this table. Well, that's because I'm not done, mayor. I was like, ah, because you're a dirty stinky boy. I'm a dirty, stinky boy. So it was Justin.

Justin's like, uh, actually I made regular, that was a joke, Justin, okay. When I said emotionally intelligence, why stopped it emotionally. All right, just have a seat, big guy, okay? Have a seat. Wait, wait, can I publicly apologize for commenting on your bathtub?

And murder's like, I want that old thing. As if murder did not fully lose her mind in the season premiere about the bathtub. She's like, we're doing it on the bathtub. We're doing it. We're doing it.

We're doing it. Alright, question 19. Would you like to take a bath with us? I'm gonna pass out now. Okay, well anyway, welcome back to Hinging my friend with me Rambonious son Wait a minute. I am curious why with your theme hanging my thread Why were we the first couple you ever invited? Is it cuz Justin used to hold up his end of the thread now that I'm a boss bitch? Business lady the thread, now that I'm a boss bitch, business lady.

Well, sweet, slow with me. The whole concept is to talk about relationships and interesting relationships to and and it doesn't mean that your relationship is currently hanging by a thread because we know it's already way past the expiration date, but there is something of interesting about your relationship or at least that's what I tell myself every time I think about the footage of you two rolling around in Hershey's syrup. So best health, your name is...

I'm just him and only to other a very long time. Right, very interesting person. So that's like, what's the craziest place you've ever made would be when he's like, uh, remember just in that time I was under your desk and H R walked in. He's like, uh, no, no, no, no, please don't mention this. And I was under the desk like, dear Jesus, uh, I love that they're like, they spent all all last season like why would they ever fire you? Remember when I was giving you a blowjob at HR locked in? Remember when you were married with kids and you were the boss and you were fucking me while I was under your desk. I'm HR came in and then you left

your family for me and probably got fired for more morels clauses. And they're telling the story and then Seth is really trying to sell. It's good kind of, he's like, I'm the mayor. That is bleeding. Mayor, tell me that you're recording this time. Now I, I didn't even bring out the laptop. This is just a Fisher Price Record Player for Bruxy.

So, Meredith's like, I am listen, this is like the time Brooksie first put his hand on top of all of the rest of our hands to hold a limit down while I got it. Very lemon ceremony. Very, very special ceremony when it's like a bar mitzvah, but instead it's when a child is old enough to put his hand on 11 so when we as a family can slice it together It's beautiful, that's my point man, it's very very beautiful. Oh, well to Justin's credit, which he had before we got married. Oh, that takes care of question number 12. Thank you.

Yeah, he steps up for me every day. He has been there for me. He didn't just marry me. He stood by my dad during his sobriety, my siblings, my mother. The shit I put that man through. Most people would have left. Technically technically I should be on husband seven This is good content Yeah, so it's actually there is actually a nice moment where she talks about sad moment Which talks about Justin's dad dying and it was a very sad story, but we're a fun podcast We don't have to talk about it. We ignore important things like that. So yeah, I'm very nervous.

Well, everything you've probably said, everything that you said is probably cathartic, but it's also good here. And maybe you helped other secretaries taking a doggy in front of A. John. You never... It's good to know, and this is a great lesson why you should always have floor protectors under your desk.

It's not just for chairs. Is that a rap? No, but that says, I rolled right up to the diet of coke and I said, baby Jesus, well boy, you're no joke. Jack's on the mission because we're not above that. Send him to Columbia. I'll say, I love that. I love that. I'm a rapper now. Can't add a fice scene.

I'm sorry John Ballo. I am for real. Never meant to take your die. I was just very thirsty. It was mine in the first place. Take your die, you cook. I was just very thirsty. It was mine in the first place Okay, so now we get possibly my favorite new haze of all time. Oh My god, Ronnie. This was so big just the best one for the season I'm not really sure what to say, but we get country music haze this shit is gold It's like this Ha This heart heart is like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It was this is like when they go when you watch the Grammys and they put together like

Reba Mac and Tyre but and Metallica they love doing a mashup. It was like an air and a deer and a deer. And he needed to do. Dan and here and there. I was like, oh, this show is just brilliant. It really is. Did you see Rubin McIntyre is on the voice now? I did see that, yes. I wouldn't normally notice or care, really.

But it was on the preview thing, I guess, on P-Conc. I was cracking up at her. Who's the Irish guy? Is it an Irish guy that's on there, too? That is what's this face from one direction. Oh, really? Wow. Anyway, Reba's like, why has this all worked?

What we get up there, there's blind auditions, what does that mean? You can poke my eyes out for that. What we're gonna do close our eyes? That's ridiculous. You have a chair at the turn? That is ridiculous. What am I supposed to be here?

These people are whole light-reous. Tell you that, man. You know another chair is going to swivel around, speed Heather to bro. Oh, look at me on another, on another Reba McIntyre show. Wow, how many times do I need to reject this one? Mara. I've just literally been over a decade. So we have this amazing pioneer tabernacle, Trixi monoclackle music. Really, I'm so glad you know that too, because I was cracking up with this so funny. So Heather drives up and she meets with Emily, the event coordinator. And you know, she's getting a tour of

everything set up there. There's bonnets and aprons on a table. And Heather's like,ets and aprons on a table. And Heather's like, this is gonna be a hard sell. If they knew about this, they would not be coming here. Yeah, and she goes, I know I want these prima dons to feel a little bit of the grit that created the state of Utah, at least in terms of white people who came here.

These bonnets are rimmed to keep the sun out of our eyes, the dust out of our mouths, to keep us safe as we trudged across the plains. And the Meredith shows up in leather bell bottoms in a faux fur jacket. Sing, and then Lisa's like, ah! Oh my god, I just was for spring. My god, it's Meredith Marx. It's Meredith Marx and Lisa. Oh my god, it's- I just was for spring. My god, it's Meredith Marx.

It's Meredith Marx and Lisa, oh my god, get the, at least, at least get over here. I know you're just a caterer, but look, that's Meredith Marx and Lisa Barlow. Those are the big dogs. Oh, shit. I'm hanging with the big dogs at last.

So they're like, it's all nice, everything. They're getting cocktails and then all of a sudden Meredith sees the table with bonnets. And she goes, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're buying, it's all nice everything they're getting cocktails and then all of a sudden bear it sees the table with bonnet such as Oh, no, no, why are you're buying it's in dresses and Lisa's like no, no, I will not I want this my face Where does it like we're not doing costumes anymore? Well, I would never make you do costumes however. I would ask you to participate I would never make you do costumes however I would ask you to partake in our shared heritage. Unless it's like, that's not my shared heritage. Guess what I don't share? Anything. Listen, those are my roots. Are we really doing this? Actually, Meredith, you really look great in that,

actually. Okay, Meredith, they'll do it. Meredith is going to do it for me, put on another one, stupid. Heather was smart because she gave him a caution that was easily removable and did not mess up their hair. So they get into it and they're in their bites and they're apron. And then Whitney shows up. She's like, what the hell? What are you wearing? And Heather's like, dude, don't you recognize our native attire?

What's happening? So then Monica comes and she says hi to everybody, Amlisa's coughing match. She's like, across, she's across. And Monica goes, I'm in a highly side. That's Amlisa just starts wiping her nose furiously

and like playing with her hair and not saying anything. So Monica just laughs at her openly. And she's, she's best like, you know what girl? Today I woke up in like Joe's piece. So happy to be here girl. So Angie comes dressed like a white puff ball. She's wearing like a white fur and a big giant, giant fur purse. Pink, pink glasses are out.

She's like, look, look at my sheep. I'm little ball peepa, ba, ba. We are sheep. Look Pink glasses are out. She's like, look, look at my sheep. I'm little ball peepa. Baa, ba, we are sheep. Look, we are sheep. Bop, boba, peepa. We make, we make bars like this. Oh, ba, boba, boop, boop, boop. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap.

We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap.

We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are cheap. We are would like to make a toast to all of my sister rives.

I want to say thank you for showing up to my book event at the reading of my book, Bad Mormon. And it reminded me April is the month of the Church of Jesus Christ in Latter-day Saints. That's when it was founded on April 6, 1830. So I wanted to have some fun today and focus on the fun aspects of our heritage and Guys, I hope you all know how to turn butter by hand and everyone's like oh

So Now we get a shot of the dumbest little goat trying to get through branches of a tree and it can't figure it out Even though the opening is plenty biggy the goat just can't do it, you know, sorry goat Sorry to dish you but get better goats, you know, yeah fuck yeah figure it out, even though the opening's plenty big. The goat just can't do it. Sorry goat. Sorry to dish you, but get better goats. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, some, they're not all, not all the goats can be the goat.

So they toast and so then they all, Heather starts teaching them how to turn, which I thought this was so fun. I mean, well, this is like my favorite day ever on like real housewives activities that are turning butter to make little dolls. I was like, this seems like a great day of activities. Yeah.

And Heather's like, these crafts are deeply embedded in our culture. I mean, Mormons, come on guys. We have stores to buy jars for better turning or yarn for pattern doll making. These aren't things I had to seek out. In our culture, we have a store called Hobby Lobby. Okay, Joseph Smith invented that.

Well, Jesus did, but he told Joseph Smith to build it and rhyme the name so it's catchier. And it's also, you know, and it strongly urges its female employees to not get healthcare. So, it was a great thing, only in Mormon culture, guys. Hot glue.

It's like plastic, Gmail, and it glues things together. The point is this, you can only find Mason jars in Salt Lake City. I'm your own. I know. But the best part is the way Brooklyn basically co-ops all this culture

and turns it into the shikas bar in the burrow. I know. Brooklyn, people in Williamsburg are like, who are the real fucking pioneers? I was here when there was only a plant-eat Thailand. I know. Because hipsters love dressing like pioneers, okay? They do.

So they really do. They're bathing like engineers. So they're all engineers. I would say, sorry, hipsters. The hipsters don not listening to this. No, they're not. They're, I mean, they're like literally lining up for some sort of bespoke tincture that you can get at a farm stand in a flap-ish.

So they're shaking their butter and Heather's getting mad at everyone because no one's shaking it, right? And she's like, it should take six minutes and make sure it's not just the top, not just the bottom, not just the side, you gotta do it. So she's like policing them. Shush, shush, shake it like a polar wood picture. And I know that rock.

I know that rock. So then we have of course the obligatory slow-mo footage that they're all shaking their butter, cause at least they throw all jerkin' things off. I'm married to put both hands on each other. Like I'm behind up, two hands, here we go. Eh. Yeah, I'm talkin'.

Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. I was sayin' hands are makin' there, I'm makin' these jerk off things, motions. And I was like, okay, let our better set now is for our next craft. And the next craft is to find a rock draw a face on a hankerchief and make a doll at you. But Meredith also is reluctant to just put her butter down and let it set.

She's like, well, my mother taught me that I taught my children that once you start something, you have to finish it, which is why I always tell Bruxy you need to figure out where that triangle peg goes into before we can go on to snack time. So they all name their dolls and show off their dolls to each other. It's like, I have Trina the trucker. And hello, say hello to Margaret whose husband wants to spend time with her. And Whitney said, this is Celeste. And then we get to Monica. Monica's like, um, this is Molly to represent Molly Mormon, which I was. And now she brings a scarlet letter to remind all the other primaries on the trail

since all of you are good at goodies that this is a really what the church is about, which is forgiveness. No one is giving you shit, oh, and she goes, and welcoming the blank sheet into the fold. None of them has changed you for that, for having a fair. No, that's actually like the easiest thing for them to go after. None of them have gone after it.

She's like all mad at them about, and she's also like really mad that people would be upset at her for this like a fair, you know. Also, why are you saying you're from the Church of forgiveness when you've like you and Heather of both been excommunicated and was with me too? No, Whitney had to sign things. I don't know. I don't know if I would say big excommunication religions are big on forgiveness, but I

don't know. I'm not part of it. Just putting it out there. But it was basically just a way to get Lisa annoyed, and it works, because Lisa starts doing that thing where she's looking left and right in her bonnet. Like, God, you guys are a thot, you guys are a thot. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crapance commercial. It's almost that magical time of year. Speaking of, what's your favorite Christmas story, Ben? Uh, hands down, the Grinch. Same! It cracks me up that he hates all the marimons. Right, and he steals everyone's presents. But then it's like so heartwarming at the end when the whole town is still singing and

he realizes that there's more Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know, it hits me right in the fields. Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring the Grinch, and I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it, Ronnie. Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondery, Tis the Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of Ruvil to use my situation as a teachable movement. So join me, the Grinch. Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas're gonna say, down for a meal and read it.

It's like, I don't know, we allowed to take a break from churning because I've been shaking this butter for about 45 minutes. Like, oh my god, yeah, put that down. Heather's like, okay, well, the menu today is a pioneer comfort foods. Ribs, cornbread, mac and cheese, Snickers bars, M&Ms. Pizza. And Lisa's like, I'm only accorded the way through the book I'm on that, but there's like no songs about corn bread

and mac and cheese. Lisa, you're thinking of the musical book of Mormon. But musicals are religion to gays, and they don't believe in mac and cheese for lunch either. And Lisa up in there. So then they're also passing around a dish called funeral potatoes, which I'd never heard of before. at least up in there. So then they're also passing around a dish called Funeral Potatoes, which I'd never heard of before.

And I looked at it. I don't know what that is either. What is it? Teach me, man. Honestly, I looked up, I looked it up. You know, I should've kept up the description. I'll do it again for the potatoes. Funeral potatoes.

Honestly, I kind of want them. It looks like mac and cheese, right? So what is it? Like, retompetedos. It's so got bread and crowns and chill on top of it. It looks like mac and cheese, right? So what is it? Like, gratin potatoes, it's so got bread. It's like a crown of the chill on top of it. It's like cheese. Oh, it's a hash brown.

It's a hash brown. Hash browns. The cornflake is really what sort of, maybe intrigued by this, but this honestly sounds amazing. I'm not a big hash brown. Sour cream. I like a more solid potato. Well, you know, you can probably mix up the sort of potato you do. You know, I bet you could do tater tots.

Why not? Well, that's the same thing. Those are just little hash browns. Those are little nugget. You don't have to do that. I do not. Well, do whatever potato you want, Ronnie. No, you can't. That's not a funeral. That's a living. It's a living potato. You can't just call something a funeral potato and do it your own way. The I'm alive potato. Well, I think it sounds delicious and I would like to try it. And next time we do a show on Utah, I demand to have funeral potatoes at some point. Yeah.

I don't think they're gonna let us back there. But I love your positive thinking. Okay, so they funeral potatoes and talk about that. And Angie's like, I thought Greek food was good. It really does say this. I thought Greek food was good, but this is actually really good too in a non Greek kind of way, but I'm Greek because I'm Greek. So I had to say, okay, that's what we're gonna do. Another game, another pioneer favorite. It's called Let's Trigger Monica

and make her scream and yell at Lisa. I know. You know what, when she said, I've got another game, I groaned. I'm really sick of these games. But then when she said, it's called, who's on your wagon? I was like, okay, I kind of like this.

It's a little different than the two-truths in a lie. It's covered wagon based, was like, okay, I kind of like this. It's a little different than the two true true true lie. It's covered wagon based. So I'm already, I'm already into it. These are so bad though. And Beverly Hills just had to do that this week too. Like literally pulling out cards. I mean, come on. Yeah.

You're in season 13. So yeah, she's, it's imagine you're on your wagon train. Okay, the oxen are tired. The snow has come in. Our wagon has too much weight and one person has to go. Who do you throw off, Lisa? Go ahead. She's in front of her name.

It's like, fuck Mary Kill, her name rhymes with Fomica, do it. I know. It's like, fuck Mary Kill, but since this is a Mormon game, it's just gonna be killed. Cause we, it's not allowed to fucking, I guess we could marry.

Mary, Mary Mary Mary kill So Lisa Fuck Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary and kill So Lisa's like okay, well, I'm a big supporter of Warman So I would keep everyone but the one who's not the as to women. So Monica, you have to go just because you're mouthy and mean to him. You're mouthy.

That's what people who support women say. You mouthy woman. Monica, you were so enmancing. No, Monica, who is just trying to start a fight, didn't get it, but now Lisa just hands it to her on a flattery. And then they fight like the adults there. Uh-uh, you are. I'm honest.

There's a death rod. Uh-uh, new song. Oh my god, just none of the difference. You're nasty. Uh-uh, you know what? You love my voice. So like, you like to use it because Monica's like, you're just nasty.

So like, try to make a baby voice, but it still sounds like my version of Monica, so I didn't really notice. Oh yeah, you love my voice so much, then that's why you use it all the time. And she's like, actually I hate your voice, it's like so annoying. You mean I don't even think that's your real voice?

You wouldn't know because we're not friends. I know, we're not friends. I know, we're not friends. I know, we're not friends. So Heather's like, one of the main goals this brunch was for Monica and Lisa to make a man's. So we can go on this trip without all this tension and Lisa opens up with nasty woman.

I mean, couldn't she have saved something softer? Like we're all scared you'll sleep with our brother and laws or something that we could all come back from. I'm like, Heather, you're the one who asked who would you kick off the wagon and you knew this would be the response Come on though. I know and I just said no one has shamed Monica for sleeping with her brother-in-law And then here you come in like swing in you know

So Monica's like you know what's nasty? Sing someone's mother doesn't want them Okay Thanks for the real nasty bitcher, is you! And Lisa's like, oh my god, you called your mom Todd Bandai! Anyone who could ever talk about their mom like that will never pay your friend. He's tough sucks with people, decapise them, and then he was really mean to peg. That's nasty!

Um, I think that's Albande, not Ted Bunde. And then he would like, he would like round up all of their like kids at camp and just I killed him one by one but they never saw his face because he was wearing a mask. Um, I think that's Jason in the Voorhees. Yeah, but you know what? Um, style. You shouldn't talk about your mom like that. I'm on it because I'm like, what?

It makes sense that you like the thickest one because fix like fake. So just be quiet. I love that you hate hearing like she wouldn't want to be your mother, but you're like, yeah, of course you like my fake bitch of a mother. I'm the same, the same conversation. So Lisa is like, no, we are not done yet. I am, I'm done, I'm done. So Angie starts like, dinging know shit and Heather's like Monica

Bring it down Monica. Come on Monica bring it down Monica is crying is like you're so mean to me you are so angry Okay, okay Monica so then Angie finally just stands up and throws a glass and goes oh Had no one even bays attention by the way no. No one turns, no one's even shocked. They don't even really even give a boom. They just keep on going. Yeah. My life.

The hypocrisy is like next level. So then she says, the fact that I'm being made out if you're like, I'm the wrong one girl. I'm just defending myself is like very triggering to me. And like, I think this is like very similar to situations with my mom where it's like, you can see disgusting hurtful things

but like you're never in there wrong. I mean, yeah, I mean, look, I do great. Saying mean nasty hurtful things and not apologizing and then immediately starting to cry when you don't get your, oh, that's you, that's you. You guys are twins, okay? You and Linda are two of my favorite problematic twins of the season. Congrats You're your mother you've already arrived. We got there earlier than we expected kids

But to be fair, she does sort of have a point which was at least that did start this so She started this technically right but Monica came in trying to start a fight with everybody and wasn't really getting her way. And she was starting and not letting it go. The last episode with Lisa. And yeah, I mean, I guess that's, I mean, we can also go in the back. But you know, you do that too much in housewives. Your brain will start leaking out of here. That's true. But the other thing is that with Monica, she really steps into the role of like angry teenager.

And then that makes everyone else step into the role of like mom, you know, they're all like, okay, now we're the mothers here. So I think that's really why that dynamic, like that's why they all kind of blamed her because they all just shifted into those roles right away. So Heather now there's like, come on, Monica, get up. Okay, come on, bring your butter. Are you crying? What's going on? Mom's here. Good mom is here. But I like to answer to her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. again. Sorry. Oh, we have to, no, just saying that she said we have to announce our trip to Bermuda. Oh, what's wrong with me? I can't stop. It's like we don't talk enough. I just can't stop. So Heather, I like that Heather says it like, are you crying? She's kind of disgusted. She's so crying and Mormon arts and crafts.

Well, especially when you start so many fights and go and go and then call someone ugly and now you're crying. I mean, I guess in this situation it would be because they're kind of ganging up on her by just letting Lisa go at her, but still, like, Monica has now no crying in house, so I have this not fair.

But Monica's fully regressed until like 14 year old teenager and Heather is now stepping into mom role. So she fair. But Monica's fully regressed into like, 14 year old teenager and Heather is now stepping into mom role. So she's, well, she also has regressed into Jen a little bit, you know, and she does have a lot of Gen shot qualities. Like I could see how they were close because she, that's what Jen used to do, you know,

when Jen was finally confronted or someone stood up to her, she's like, her good, you know, what about me? What about me? I'm getting those vibes, for sure. Yes. So Monica's now the teenager. She's like, I'm not gonna go. And Heather's like, you're not gonna go.

I mean, what did she say that hurt you to this point? Did you finish your homework? And Monica's like, what? What? She was like, I mean, I'm being sincere. Like, what did she say? Oh, were you not at the table, mom? But they were being so mean to me.

And she's like, yeah, but that was like tip for tat. That was equal. I mean, it's called lunch. This is what we do. I wanna say the big dogs, but medium sized dogs, but Martin Lisa, they're the real big dogs. So now Lisa comes over because, you know, one thing you learn pretty quickly on these shows

is if somebody is crying and saying the word triggered, you're screwed. Like, there's no winning this. So Naly said totally changes her tune and she comes over and Monica's saying, she's sent down a game right for me. And Heather's like, it was a game. That was not a game. So Lisa takes her arm and she's like, headless son. If you need me to acknowledge that your mom is at nice to you,

then I'm sorry. And by me saying that, you know, me saying that I saw her being nice, that does not mean I may get your feelings. Something she could have said ages ago, but now she realized, oh fuck, this could ruin our entire vacation. And this is the first time we get to go out the country.

I'm not ruining this, okay? We're going to, we're leaving, I'm using my passport, okay? Pretty much. So Lisa's like, the bottom line is, have there put a lot of effort into this launch and the trip she planned for all of us? And if it means like talking to Monica and working this out, I'm willing to do it, okay, because I need to get my tongue.

So she's like, so is that what I got wrong? Did I apologize, right? Monica says, you know, I don't know. I'm just gonna apologize for saying you're ugly though, because I really didn't mean that. I mean, you are, but I shouldn't say you're about loud. You have ketchup in your hair. Thanks. You know, it shouldn't be this way. We didn't start off this way. Do you know what I mean? Let's take a deep breath. I move forward to permute a God. Please don't ruin this trip for us. So they slowly move back to the table. I mean, while everyone's shaking their butter jar. So all you hear is I dance clutter and everyone making jerking in their bonnets. I can't. So I'm just like,

wow, I don't mean peaceful. Monica, apologize. I said she's always wrong and that's it. So, we're gonna move forward now. Ladies, let me tell you something. These are not just play settings. These are actually invitations for Monica and me to go on a spectacular girl strip

with a foreign passport required location, okay? And we wanna share it with you, but I need Monica to find your energy to help me announce it. Monica, can you help out Monica? She's like that, and he's like, no, no. This is like every, this is like the standard kid that has a tan-tune at the holidays or something.

And now they're back at the table and trying to cheer them up again and get the back into a good mood. You want some macaroni on it? You want some cream? Come in. Do you want to help Monica? You want to help do the announcement?

You want to help mom do the announcement, Monica? So Heather's like, okay, the first clue is why would a sea shell be in this little jar I gave you? It's very important. Because we're going to the ocean and there's an island we're going to an island but will there be an ocean there? Wait is this where the salad dressing comes from? How many islands are we going to? 1000? No. The only island I've ever heard no way are we going to a kitchen? Oh, is this the place where they have the burgers and stuff?

Okay, um, here's a second clue. There's pink sand in our jar. So Monica Why would there be pink sand and an ocean? Oh my god, it's from you guys. It's brim you Da I love him you da fucking Lisa you already knew I know it's up there She left me And Monica's so sulking So there goes we are going to Bermuda because okay Monica. I'll do your part Okay, Monica used to go there for summers with her grandfather of Monica Wands to tell us more about it.

This would be a great time. Oh my God, that's part of the mission. That's part of the mission, and Bermuda, it's like a huge community there. And Heather, Heather's like, yeah, there's a huge Portuguese community in Monica. Why is there a tiny little skull in here? I don't know. I don't want to talk about it. Come on, little skull.

I don't want to talk about it. Come on, you, this is your favorite part. That's last night because we're all going home to hell to devil's triangle where we belong. And then everybody looks at her, like, I can't believe she just said we all belong to hell. They give her a dirty look. Everyone's like, she ruined her own presentation. So stupid. So then there's piano drama. And now Monica's pissed everybody off, so she's smirking.

It's like a little kid. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and Heather goes, are you even okay, Monica? She's like, no, I feel alone. I'm just done. I am like a span I'm spent which is also what I have to tell my collectors and Heather is like so you're not gonna go on this trip And she's like no, I don't think it's a good idea for me to go on the trip

I'm like, yeah, but we planted around you and Bermuda, okay, in your grandma, and the summer. And there, you don't want you. That was totally different when we planned it. And now there's like, this is a totally different energy before. I mean, you were just attacking her full force. And now you're going to cry and act like we all came. You know, I always really wondered why Jen never had anything nice to say about Heather and Lisa and now I know exactly why. Yeah, because Jen was like a narcissist criminal.

Yeah, she has that nice, that's a nice, I've had a monster. Would you have said, didn't you call Secret Service on Jen because you had the instincts not to trust Jen, which I'm starting to believe less and less as we go. And I'm wondering if she was like testifying to get off. You know what I mean? Because she was a witness because she worked for her. I don't know. But it's hard to have credibility when you talk that way about Jen, but then immediately use her

saying bad things about someone as evidence that that person is bad. Pick Elaine. Yeah, also Monica, this is your first season her saying bad things about someone as evidence that that person is bad. Pick a lane. Yeah, also Monica, this is your first season and you're doing such a great job. You can't skip the cast vacation. You can't do this. And obviously we know you're going to go. Yeah.

And you're going to go. But you can't pull these moves. Come on Monica. But she's good. I mean, I think it's doing a, it's doing good. You know, sometimes on these shows, I don't love the younger cast members because I feel like they just throw them in, like Leo on Real Housewives of New York.

Why would you throw Leo? She, you're just putting this bratty teenager in the position to be a bratty teenager and bitch at the older people. And that was like funny for a minute. But in general, it just gets old. But this is working really well on Mary de Medicine is working really well too.

So maybe they figure it out. Yeah, because sometimes when they put in a young cast member, one of my objections is that they're just not as interesting. Like I feel like the women who are in their 40s have just lived a little bit more life and have gone through a little bit more shit and like their kids are a little older, their kids are going off. They're kind of at a big life transition.

And I feel like there's something really exciting going on there because it's like women or people in general who are just now pivving into a new chapter and like, what's that chapter going to look like? Whereas like, people who are are 32 who have a baby, it's like they all have the same observations and they all have the same thoughts that they think are really not. But they think they're really not old.

But they think they're really not old. It's natural to think that. I'm so fascinating now. Like this age is the fascinating age. Oh, kids are stupid. I feel like an old people just repeat themselves. I can't really age. But I felt that I think you think you're the fascinating age. Oh, kids, I feel like old people just repeat themselves, you know? I can't really age. But I felt that I think you think

you're the best age, you know? But I feel like for the years that we've been doing this show, I've always felt like I've always gravitated towards the older women versus the younger women. And I just think that like a lot of the people that come on these shows who are like young mothers and just in general in my life, and this would go for young fathers too,

but just because the show focuses on the women, they all feel like they're making really salient observations about child rearing a lot of times, and it's like, it's cool, it's great for them, but it's also like we've all heard it before, and so when people come on, they're like, being the mother of four children is just, it's so hard sometimes, I gotta take this one to school,

and then this one's got practice, and then this one's got a runny nose, and it's like, that's totally true, and it's funny for you, but it's always the same on these shows. It's okay, Boomer. Okay, Boomer Boomer. I gravitate towards, honestly,

I gravitate towards the women who've sort of been through that already, and now are just kinda of like give missing booze Well, it's funny because their girls are also asking for booze. I should I should say that Monica really gets them back in a funny way And it's it's a really both show of the age divide because Heather's like, oh, I mean where's that Monica? Where's that fun Monica and Monica because you won't kill her real quick. She's dead like Taylor Swift said. And Lisa goes, what?

Who's that? And they just all stare at her like, what are you even talking about? So, I mean, she's dead, you know. But it was a 2B continued. I get so mad when it's 2B continued now because now when it's 2B continued, we don't even get a preview for next week and I was dying. Yeah. I need to know what's going to happen. Oh no, actually wait, I'm wrong.

We did see the preview. The preview for next week was excellent. It was the too be continued for below deck. We didn't see. But for the next week's episode, they're not even on vacation yet. I love that's a good season to you, by the way, when they announce the vacation and the next episode they can't even get to vacation yet Because so much should happens. Well, they should mark a good season. They should still have a few episodes left right because

They just filmed the reunion and by the way the heads of the reunion seating Next to Andy both sides of Andy are Monica and Heather so that's good for Monica for Monica, because that's good for meaning that they're gonna keep her around, right? Because otherwise, Monica is a new archie and a put her down for her.

First chair too. Did she really? Isn't that crazy? I was reading Reddit. I don't, by the way, everybody knows I do not have the memory to know that, but. There was Reddit. I know. That was impressive.

I know I have to admit, because you know, I love me some bravo real housewives over on Reddit, and that's where I read it. But that's where I read it. Oh, let me see if I can find it. Oh my gosh, I've got all these memes you were sending me. Oh no, I got all these Kyle screenshots from a below deck.

Oh god, I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry. Damn it. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Sorry. Damn it. There's also should be an Isabella Rosalini seducing duck. Fucking bad. Oh, I'm done. I'll find this.

Okay, here it is. Someone said who else has gotten first here? Is Monica the first? Okay, here they are. Are you ready? Do you want to even hear them? Of course. You didn't ask for this. I think it's really interesting. No, I'm into it. Wait, is this for people who got first chair in their first season?

Yes. I think we just had one too, by the way. I think a show that just wrapped someone was in the first chair. Anyway, go on. By the way, I didn't even screenshot their username. What a dick. So sorry to whoever did this. So Atlanta, Kenya Marlos at first chair at her first reunion as a full-time housewife, but appeared as a friend of in many reunions before so don't know if they count her so Dallas Tiffany Yes Miami, Joanna and then also Miami, Julius sat first chair in her first season, but it was during the reboot season, so they're not sure if that counts.

This person is very thorough. They're very good. New York City, Aviva, and also, guess who's the other one. Let's see if you can guess it. Oh my God. I'm from New York. Yeah. Durinda.

It was actually. Yeah. Durinda. It was actually. There's two. Well, they're Kristen. Really? Kristen Takeman got first seat. Isn't that crazy? That's a little wild. So then there's another one who she's,

or they're not sure if this counts or not, which is Leah. Leah was sat next to Andy in her first reunion, but the setup was different due to COVID, so I'm not sure if that counts. Then orange County, I'll buy you guys, I'm gonna say on a weird way, even though this doesn't count,

because it was all their first seasons, when Jessel and Aaron wound up in first season, not Jenna, that was a surprise too. But that's sort of like not quite the same as we're talking about, but I still was surprised. Oh yeah, that's true. So let's see. And then yeah, I said, Lee already. And then in Orange County, it was, you guess, Shannon Bedore. It was. Very good. I didn't guess that one. By the way, I didn't guess any of these. And then it says, first chair has never been given to a new housewife of Beverly Hills,

Potomac, or New Jersey. Well, Potomac, Potomac, that makes sense because Potomac has the really unique thing going on. I think one of the things that makes Potomac so special and I always think about this is the Jazelle and Karen thing. Although I think that Karen was maybe not first, I feel like they normally, or Jazelle and Karen are normally in the first seats, but I feel that Karen was maybe not first, I feel like they normally, or Jazeel and Karen are normally in the first seats, but I feel like Karen was not first seat recently.

Or maybe Jazeel wasn't. But since you have those two towering figures in the group, I feel like they almost always are going to be first seat, right? I don't know. I don't know how that would work. Jersey is, your Jersey's a little surprising. I'm surprised that like Barnard read on her first season did not get first seed.

But you know, because you always have Melissa and Teresa. That's the thing, you know, they always kind of win that one. So, yeah. But Monica, I think what's weird about Monica being first seed as a newbie is that she really feels like, because she is the young and,

I feel like it's not just that she's the newbie, but she's the young and, and I feel like the young and don't get to get that first seat Well, all this we talked about it in crappy hour. There's a whole episode from Two Mondays ago, but whatever the last crappy hour live you can find it on This podcast feed just scroll down a little bit. Sure can it's called Monica something and it's all about Monica and all the drama with Monica and part of it is spoiler alert by the way if you don't want to know any of this and the podcast now we're almost done anyway. Bye thanks for being here.

Thanks. Everything's going. Part of it is that she has she sued Heather in 2019 because Heather's company beauty lab put her apparently on some kind of payment plan where she went in and she got like $2,500 worth of Botox and their fillers and Botox or whatever. And they put her on a payment plan and she only paid the setup fee and first payment

of like 500 and then never paid it. So Monica's company Beauty Lab went after her and sued her as we found, that's what Utah does, I guess, the sue you for your debt. And they sued her, but they didn't know because she was going under a different name at that time, they didn't know it was Monica. And so apparently, they find out that it's Monica

and people are speculating like, is this the thing that they find out in Bermuda that is the big secret that Heather is saying, oh my God, she betrayed us? Is it her because she's been the secret identity this whole time coming for Heather? It's gotta be. Right, that's good.

And I hate it. Oh my God, I forgot that there's a secret that's about to be unleashed. I, oh my, I know. I never got to spoiled you. You know I hate spoilers. No, I love that so good. But it's every word I have. Well, look, I'm either gonna be surprised now, or I'll be surprised later, you know I hate spoilers. No, I love that so good. But it's every way.

Well, look, I'm either gonna be surprised now, or I'll be surprised later, you know, but like, oh my God, that's absolutely amazing of a theory. I did not think any season could ever top season two of this show, from Salt Lake City, but this season is really, it might be. This might be, I'm season two of this show

was really a top of all of them. Of all the franchises, it might be. This might be, I'm season two of this show was really a top of all of them. Of all the franchises, it was one of the very, very best. It was so great, but that being said, the lead up to Gen Shaw being, once Gen Shaw got arrested, the rest of the season was like at a 10. But the lead up was more like a 7,

with some really, there were some really great episodes, but this has kind of been like at a 10, every single episode, so far. It's been some really great episodes, but this has kind of been like at a 10 every single episode. So it's been good. And also just what you expect, I think sometimes not you personally, but us as an audience. What we expect sometimes from these shows is too much, and this is like kind of proving simplicity really does work, you know. Yeah.

There has been like a lot of bickering and stuff that's been funny, but a lot of it's just home scenes, you know, and they're still fun. Exactly. And like season two had like the heavy lifting of a federal case, had like an arrest, and like, you know, that's sort of undeniable, but this one doesn't even have that. The fact that this one could be so good without Homeland Security really speaks volumes to its quality. We didn't even have to call in the FBI for this one, it's great. Oh, not yet. And there's not even six attorneys, you know, beingBI for this one. It's great. Oh, not yet. There's not even six attorneys being advised for this one. So everybody, thank you so much.

This was really fun, as always, I'm sorry we won't be here for Beverly Hills or Miami this week. But, you know what, we're gonna come back and swing in until Christmas time. We've got so much coming up that it's insane. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna be here. We're just gonna be ghosts by the time this is done. And it all looks good.

We're just gonna be evaporated by it. But we've got so many great shows coming down the pike. So we will be working overtime in December. So we're gonna take this moment to enjoy our Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving. And we will catch you on Monday. Bye everyone! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Strong to park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-Oz!

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