Watch What Crappens - #2257 RHOSLC, Part 2: Mob Mentality

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Welcome back to part 2 of the recap. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S04E14) continues its chaotic trip to Bermuda. There’s a sweet breakfast, a heartbreaking twist, and of course a giant screaming match while everyone’s dressed like pirates.Watch with Crappens on Demand here:  http://bit.ly/crappensvideoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference

in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. All right, well, we're back with real housewives of Salt Lake City, part two of our recap of this Bermuda trip. Basically, Monica just found out that she will not be seeing her family and she just was devastated and everyone reassured her and now they have headed back to the villa. Yes. So now they are going to this like beach with a little chair setup, which I mean, I don't know if they have parked cars on this beach, but it is one of their parking lot setups. You know how they always do like folding chairs in a parking lot?

It is that setup. But on a beautiful beach this time. Yeah, you know what, you're right. I said they went back to the villa or I implied it. You're right, they went to this beach. Yes, they are most at ease when they're on folding chairs in an outdoor area. I love it.

I mean, there's girls who don't have a coldant chair in a cheeto. You know, they love it. Yeah, you know, I mean, they didn't have like a mountain of dirty snow, but it was close. I mean, well, meaning that like, it wasn't close, but like it was almost just as good. It was a beautiful beach instead. So they're sitting down and they're gonna eat

some Bermuda fish sandwiches, and then they're popping champagne and everything, and Lisa's like, okay guys, hey, we should play a game, and like, you know, I don't really even like games, but like, I think this would be like funny for me, cause I'm gonna propose a game and then like, not play by the rules of it, okay. So we should play, marry, fuck, kill with husbands

or soft drinks, okay, you guys wanna do it? You guys wanna do it? So Andy's like, I've never played that game, even I've never, I mean, I've married my husband, but I haven't Killed him and I also haven't fucked him in a very long time. I'm Greek. No, that's I Had Angeray if you just say who you'd want to marry fucker kill Um, I don't understand this game. I've never heard of it before Okay, come on, come on Angie. There's a role with it Angie, okay So Monica's like okay

I'm gonna marry Justin. I'm gonna fuck Seth and I'm gonna kill Sean and I would fuck Sean and Seth And oh, I'm sorry. I just have Meredith. Sorry Meredith's going. I'll start. Okay. All three in the guys all three Mary fucking kill My husband I am by a threat available and wherever you're podcast So Angie's like wait a minute. Do we ask why or do we just go on with the game and Monika's like no, it's just for fun. Just go with it Angie. So it means like I would marry John, I would fuck Sean and I would call

Seth. Huh. And but she doesn't really explain why I want people to explain the murder. I don't. And whenever people say fuck Mary kill, I don't feel like you have to explain fucking because like, I don't know. We all fuck random fucking because like, I don't know, we all fuck random people. Well, I don't know. We all fuck, I'm really going to this well a lot today. But we all, we've all started to really take in a wall before we get run over by a moose.

We really don't have to explain like who we're fucking right. And then like marrying, I guess that's self-explanatory. Like, I would marry them because they would be a good partner. But murder, I feel like you should have to explain the murder part. Like, I would murder, you know, Seth, because he's kind of creepy. And because he, like, tries to motorboat cakes made out of my boobs or like into the shape of my boobs, did that happen? That happened, right?

I did happen. Yeah. He, like, licked What needs cake nibble? So then Lisa's like, okay, well, I would Mara joston or Sean Because I think they're both like funny and cool and stable and then a customer Mara doesn't think it's that's Implying that Seth is none of those things and she goes, um, and I have to fuck John burl Oh, sorry, I can't fuck anyone else. Oh

And like Lisa, that's not the game. Come on Yeah, but I can't even thank us anybody else because I love fucking John. Okay enough I'm up for that I'm dangerous. I can't think of anyone. It has to be John Barlow has to be only John Barlow only John Barlow for the rest of my life Okay, what about a celebrity? Hit your Zalba! Hit your Zalba! Hit your Zalba! Hit your Zalba! Hit your Zalba, I choose him. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, they're affecting, but also there's something about when you use the same self-tanner as somebody else, it's just comfortable. You know what I mean?

You both know what you're going to be smearing all over the furniture. Like you're not going to feel self-conscious about it. But yeah, I was surprised. I wonder if he goes the same. Elbaro. He says Elbaro. Elbaro. If you just El Barlo watched Real House

as a Salt Lake city, I would have so much respect for him. I would love that. I wonder if he does, just to like chill, you know? Okay, so then Heather's like, wow, while he said, don't let John Barlo's body get cold before you jump on an Idris. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So now it's Angie's turn. And she's like, I would marry Justin, He said, don't let John Barlow's body get cold before you jump on an eyedress. So now's Angie's turn.

And she's like, I would marry Justin, kill your ex Monica, and then I would have sex with my own husband. And there's like, I just picked South for everything. And then I take all of his money. I marry Pak Leva, fuck Spanacopeta, and kill Musaka. So I'm Greek. So then Lisa's like, hey, hey, hey Angie, you want to go for a walk real quickly? Yeah, it's not strange at all.

Yeah, let's go for a walk. So Lisa pulls Angie for a walk, we all know where this is going. And Lisa's like, yeah, wow this son does amazing as amazing as I imagine Corressing eardrums of a skin would be okay. I have something to tell you. I love eardrums Alba. I mean something else beside that. It's been literally so hard for me to keep my mouth shut But I wanted to tell you alone I masturbated to a picture of you yourself all last night.

I can't stop myself, oh my God, what's happened? So basically Monica talked to Meredith. Meredith basically said that she thinks you're like literally in the wake mafia. Just drops it. And Andrew doesn't really react at first. She's just kind of like, what? She's, I, and she She's just kinda like, uh, what? She's, I, and she's, yeah, yo, yo, yo.

And I was like, you have to be fucking counting me. And Andrew goes, this is ridiculous. Like, I would own the mafia. That's cool, right? Wouldn't that be cool if I was in the Greek mafia? And she's like, yeah, I mean, that's ridiculous, right? I mean, wait, wait, though, there's more to it. So apparently, right before the trip,

Monica got all these DMs, and there were all these documents about Sean and tax information saying you're part of the Mafia. And I'm like, this is Meredith Melling you. This is what she did last year about the SEC documents with me. That's exactly what she did. Yeah, but Monica's also the one who told everybody that Sean was like fucking a bunch

of randos in town. Like, how do you even know on this cast who to believe? Like, how do you even know when to be mad? Also, by the way, if Angie K. were in the Greek Mafia, I think she'd have more than two pairs of sunglasses that should be trotting out. Okay. So Angie is like, uh, I didn't know there was a Greek mafia. Like I'm upset that I don't know. How do I not know that there's a Greek mafia? I mean, I'm not Greek. I'm loving these, but still we share so much

of the same foods. I figure someone would be like, oh, really? You think you guys get peanut bread? You don't get peanut bread. They'd be like, get off my pizza. I'm gonna pay for it. And she's just going in the back baseball bat, you know, yeah, you don't get the pain on them.

I'm getting whinnies. Marcus. And just like, this is what she does. She is constantly threatening or trying to threaten my family, my reputation going and digging up shit on me. And if she wants to keep coming after me, she is making a lifetime commitment. It's like, but that does not sound like something that came from the mafia whatsoever.

Not at all. Oh, yeah. Does she want to come with me? Then if she is going to come from me, she better plan on doing it without kneecaps I'm going to make her an offer she can't refuse unlimited Fylo dough Is she coming for me again? You try to get out and they pull you back in Angie no and they pulled you back in. Like, I'm gonna get you. Angie. Angie.

Angie, no. And then there's like a 20 minute, like, uninterrupted, I'm trapped in a shot of her walking around a nightclub. So she's like, Meredith is dismissing everything I've worked for, and I fucking had it. I'm sick of her coming for my business.

I'm sick of her coming for my family. I'm sick of her coming for my family. It's like enough is enough. If she wants to see gangster, I'm going to show her gangster. Tonight she sleeps with the fishes Opa. She better hopes she is not made of bread. And so Angie is like that girl. Like now she is getting really worked up. And she starts like waiting her finger around and yelling on the beach

Yes, that girl that that is a phony baloney What are they thought? But they just start to read on the Salt Lake city. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna rhyme something with phony and it's gonna be below me She is a phony baloney and it's gonna be below me. Take that B! She is a phony baloney. Well, I mean, I have to say, I do think that there must be something to these rumors because the amount of times they call each other phony baloney and good fellows, you know.

When Ray Liotto was running away from the helicopter at the end of that movie and the FDI was saying, like, we have you surrounded, you phony baloney, put your hands up. That's also a trick phrase because baloney is phony. So, I don't know, no one knows of baloney, so let's fake baloney, actually like organic meat.

It's the oxymoron of meats. It's the oxymoronic codenay. Okay, so we go back to the house and Heather is like calling Ashley and she says, Oh my God, there's been so much drama, Ashley. I got into it with Monica and she wanted to talk about your sex life and I was like, Oh, no, you don't because that's a non-starter. Do not talk about my daughter's sex life. Like, Oh, okay, I don't, I don't know that you really got it into it. You just told her to shut up. But I like this.

She's going like, Ashley's gonna pick, oh my God, mom, thank you so much for not talking about my sex life. Thank you. She's like, mom, can I get a hundred more dollars in my account? Please, wanna go out tonight. They will want to know. Because you send me more money. They've raised the price for condoms.

So. So Whitney is in her room reading bad Mormon. And she's like, fun fact that might shock people is that I actually read books. I love true crime and books about spirituality and books about business and my favorites are thrillers and

It seems like Heather's life is a combination of that like Whitney you are reading the book perpendicularly Okay, you're holding it like a calendar You are reading the back of a baloney You're just looking at your fitted sheet. It's not a book. So Angie goes to Monica's room and she's like, oh my God, let's go out onto the balcony, which I might hold you over if I feel the need to and don't get the answers I want. Okay, now here's the thing. I need to bring this up on your birthday, but Lisa shared, what use, what you set this morning about, what you, what Meredith said about the Greek person here.

Me, that is me. And Monica's like, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. She says, oh my God, well, I've already gotten in trouble for repeating rumors that I've heard so that better not be what's happening again. How you upset that I tell Lisa? No, I needed to hear it from the horse's mouth

before I chopped it off and put it into a bed. Ha, there, that reference works here. So she got mine. I was like, well listen, I did not tell Lisa. Okay, I did not tell Lisa this part, um girl, but like something that like dawned on me after I like I spoke to Lisa and like my, okay, my wheel started turning

Okay, um, I would never have known about this DM and have it like in my in-mots except from Meredith called me I was like have you got any DMs? And I was like go and then she was like I got one so you must have gotten one and then I was like, go. And then she was like, I got one. So you must have gotten one. And then I was like, wait a minute. Why would I have gotten anything? So I go and check. And then Angie is, oh, you know what? I love.

I love that little PETA crum she'd left for you. She's trying to get you to do her dirty work Monica. That is what she is doing. That girl is baloney and not a real kind. This is a pony kind. Fony paloney. Look at all these fish eating those pita crumbs. So they go for Lafayl.

She's going to sit back with her little cocktail and watch it all go down. And in the end, you look like the big mouth sorry to curse. And you look like the trouble maker. Sorry again. Well, I do like the big mouth sorry to curse and you look like the trouble maker. Sorry again. Well, like you have a big mouth just and that is fine. You know, you need to use that mouth for good. Right girl. Monica's like, well, here's the thing.

I mean, she knows. So I mean, listen, she knows I'm going to say it and come out with her. But like, yeah, you know, and I just wanted you to know about it. And she's like, well, I am grateful I am grateful to you because now I have the opportunity to address it, which Why don't you just go to Angie in the first place? I think Monica is kind of getting caught in the same thing where Meredith went to Monica because she wanted Monica to carry the information And Monica didn't carry the information and instead she passed it off, like you were saying.

And now the same thing is happening again, where everybody's just passing it off but it's still gonna end up all being Monica's fault. So I'm out. Yep. So now it's later Monica's face timing with Bri. Yeah, she brought it. Monica's face timing with Bri.

And Monica's like, yeah, you know what? Like Bri came out of the womb, just like this old soul. I loved like a newborn baby with still a placenta on it. Like, is there a draft in here? Why? So she basically says that the baby's like crying until you start playing murder, she wrote for it. The baby's like, I just heard about this great recipe.

You want to talk about it? So she's basically saying, you know, she's so chill and she understands our family dynamic and she sees all sides of it. And she's the only person I want to talk to, which I don't know. I always feel like it's really cringey when parents unload their personal shit onto their children.

I feel like children shouldn't have to be burdened with that. I feel like children should just be able to enjoy, you know, being a teenager. But whatever every family is different. So she just tells me- Well, Priya is definitely the adult in this family, right? I mean, we can see Monica's like not the most emotionally stable and Priya's like, oh my God,

she's like, what are you doing right now? She's like, I'm in the carpool line picking up the kids. I'm just like, oh, okay. So let me talk about what a bitch my mom is. You know, so she does, she does tell her that, she tells her, I think Volvo. Yeah, I think Volvo got involved with the family and they completely ghosted me

and they stopped responding to my texts or getting my calls. So then what was the text that you got in the car that set you off? I mean, I'm guessing it's just production, you know, saying like we officially can't film here. But the way that she set up in the beginning was she got a text saying you can't come here because of your mom or something. So I'm just pointing out that we still can't really follow what's happening here But there is a huge plant behind her So I would like to think that Linda feels like she has at least somebody to talk to in the scene

Breeze like mom just know there's nothing you did and anything they heard came from Vovo and it shouldn't reflect on who you are And I'm sorry because it's terrible and Monica's just saying how, like her daughters are so lucky to have a tribe of sisters, yada yada yada. So then everyone's dressing up for dinner. And most of them are dressing up like pirates, but Lisa and Meredith are the holdouts.

Meredith is doing her own interpretation, which as some people online have said, looks more like fortune teller than pirate. And Lisa is just like a turban thing going on, which is very funny. It's very glorious once in it's like a pirate sunset boulevard, which I like. Yeah. She has a turban. I'm clueless on this very bound now. I didn't get small.

The pictures that yeah, big or something. So she's wearing a pirate shirt. A turban. Is that what she said? She yes. So the turban, she's bringing a turban. She's got a pirate shirt on, but she's also wearing a leather skirt. So it's, it's a lot.

But it's better than Lisa. Lisa's just, was this for sharing? What is she wearing? We didn't even talk about her crazy outfit before her Versace jump suit to go. Her purple Versace suit. I know, it's crazy. So what is she?

She said, girl, I'm wearing hoops and a golden jambal. Posted a magic. The Dispwarshers wearing purple, I think. Yeah. Oh, I'm wearing hoops and a golden jambal. Postal in my eye. This is where she was wearing purple, I think. Yeah. Oh, is this like a jumpsuit? No, I think she was. I think that's what I remember. That was to go jatsko.

So, Heather's like, oh my god, I think this one's like a hot pink thing. So, Heather's like, they look like a wedge, but not the booty kind. Meredith, I don't know. I'm like, perfect, shout out. So, then Monica comes in full on pirate, you know, because this is Heather, Heather's down for it because it's her thing, but also new people are down for it, because they come ready. Like Angie and Monica are like, oh my God, best party city pirate. Get up. Well, Monica's actually, she's actually put like a little beard on,

Well, Monica's actually, she's actually put like a little beard on. She's actually drawn a little beard. And it's like, girl, you're gonna be in the trailer for the season with a little beard on. I love this. Just know this. So then they get that back. And that sprinter van again, and Whitney's telling them, guys, my costume came with something funny, a G-string. Huh? I thought it was an eye patch,

and I put it on to read this book. I think, uh, Whitney, that's a bar of soap. Uh-huh. It's really good. It's really thrilling. I think that this book isn't real. It's a real page charter. No, that's the actual eye patch that came with your costume.

It's not a book. It's a full circle. So then we go to the restaurant and they go down these dark stairs to the kind of the beach. And it's kind of this cave thing. And I'll pass it, well, it's not in El Paso. It's in New Mexico and Carl's bad in New Mexico called Carl's bad caverns.

And you go through these caverns and they have all these, are they stalactites? Is that what they're called? Pant? There's the stalactites and stalagmites. One hangs from the roof, one comes up from the floor. So cool. So they have that and we should go to it as kids and they would give us a tour and they would tell us that those are all made from bat poop that has just like calcified over the years or rockified over the years. Man, I just think it's so funny that they're all dressed in pirates to like literally go to bat shit.

The show's so fucking crazy. I just love it. It just allows my- I was not under the impression that those were from bat shit. I thought it was that like, what are dripping from the rocks, you know, it's just a build up of minerals over time and that creates it. But I would not be surprised if there are some

that are made from Guano because Guano is a whole thing. But Guano has been sculpting caves in Brazil for thousands of years. I like that you know that for Guano, due to the corrosive effect of their feces, bats have engineered larger caves in the iron-rich Earth of Caracas, National Forest in Brazil, creating more stalagmites

and stalactites. Wow. Well, you know what it is? I think it's all the above because in Wikipedia, Wikipedia's page for stalagmite, it says it's says they are due to the accumulation of material deposit on the floor from ceiling drippings. They are composed of calcium carbonate, but it make it consist of lava, mud, peat, pitch, sand, center, and uh, and amber rat, which is the crystallized urine of pack rats. Well, we're hot. Amber rat. Couldn't they have come up with a better name than Amber rat? Amber.

Well, it's, look at that crystallized rat urine. What do you want to call it? Amber rat. I'm a cousin named Amber that's a real bee. Leanne Locken here reporting for the Department of Geology article that amber rat. Also, I'm talking about what? No, I'm only here. I just want to say one thing as long as I'm talking about corrections and whatever and funny

I think. By the way, I assumed that Guana was included in that list of stuff, but the DMV I set up Potomac was Delaware, Maryland of Virginia. It's DC, Maryland of Virginia. I'm sorry, I said Delaware. I mean, Delaware's a lovely country. You're gonna have to do that all again on that podcast. And it's not gonna get it out now.

It's not your first time in a whole to Delaware. But also, it just goes to show how much I listen because I should have been like, no, I remember last time, the comments. It corrected you. And the thing is, I got no with DC, but I don't know why I say, I don't know why I go to Delaware.

I don't know where my mind goes that way. I really don't know much of anything. I mean, just looking at this, our stalactites made from Bat Poop, that's the way I wrote. And then I'm just, all these facts are like pouring over me. I'm never gonna remember these again. Okay, here they are. What is mascara made out of?

I mean, I'm guessing, Bat Poop, poop, right? And guess what? Does Doritos have guano? So at the end of the day, we cannot be 100% certain on what particles are in the air at these factories, but we do know they have a high health regulation by the FDA. And guano is not an active intentional ingredient in Doritos. So maybe there's accidental poop in Doritos, but nobody really knows. And guess what? That's from batremovalandprevention.com. So if you're gonna see somebody, see them.

You know what? I'm gonna sue Google because I'm now looking at Google images of Amber Rat. And it's, well, looking at Amber. It's actually not so bad. It's just like Rocky. It just has a strange concept. Okay, well not so bad. It's just like Rocky. It's just such a strange concept Okay, well, so let's give us such a nice name Amber rat Amber ass

Amber Back to season one of summer house Just she'll be like so my best friend Amber out's gonna come on to the show And we're gonna wait discuss what I'm the real victim in Skendival. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap in commercial. Okay, so let's go back. So now we're back at this restaurant

and Whitney can't walk in for the video. Oh, that's hilarious. And she's like, clearly still that I was weren't invented back then. And then we meet the head waiter, Cosmon. And I don't know, who cares? Like they all sit down, they start talking about how great the menu is, but it's like a pre-selected menu.

And Monica gives a speech and she's like, okay. Yeah, go ahead. No, never mind, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and that's that you are not sex-shamed for Christy. Yeah. I also like by the way in the middle of this Angie trying to order drinks. She's like, I want that drink. What's that stormy drink called? Dark and stormy drink. Dark and stormy Angie.

I mean, I am concerned about what bubble Angie has been living in with very fuck kill and dark and stormy. This is okay. Yeah, but Monica was not, she was not sex shamed. So Monica tells us, I don't know if it's like the culture in Utah or what, but like talking about sex is like, how dare you?

I'm like, you were, because you were trying to get the Heather to talk about her daughter's sex life on camera. Like that's a reasonable boundary for a mother to draw. They are like that on this show though. They're like, what? So they have to start talking about their sex lives. And Whitney is like, well, I had sex right before the airport and almost did last night, but my vibrators said,

ha ha ha ha. And he says, like, oh, that's... Is that a joke? I don't really understand. Who kept the vibe better? I'm remodeling vibrators now. It's like, well, actually, that was your book, Whitney. You've got to start figuring out what things are, okay? So she's like, I feel like I'm in like a middle school or being pressured into saying like,

what was the last time you get to borrow it? It's like, I'm like, just like, don't ask me. I'm already wearing a little bit of your hands. So, Lisa says the night before, I'm married to this boy, well, I guess since Seth left the town, a day and a half before me, I guess, day and a half before me

would mean that I had sex, a day and a half ago. So, they're in line, that that you're thank you very much. And now there's like, I'm not answering that. C'mon, you know, you don't like it when people refuse to play. But I did answer. I said, I'm not gonna answer. Because you guys are all married. That's an unfair question. This is an unfair game. You all have spouses. What the hell are you talking about? This is where Monica's like,

I thought it was bad Mormon. Now you can't even talk about sex outside of marriage. Oh my God, girl. I mean, if you're gonna, if you're gonna rebel, I'm gonna have to show you how to do this right. I'm on my way, okay? We're slutting it up. Heather's basically like, I'm not getting any ass

and I'm embarrassed about it. And you're making me feel bad because I'm the single girl. You guys all have someone you can get asked from, but I have no one to get asked from, except for a guy who's like melting away in a hot tub somewhere. So I was taking it as, it's not unfair,

it's not fair because you guys say that you're having sex and it looks normal, but if I say I'm having sex, I look like a slut because I'm not married. That's how I was taking it. Oh. Actually, it could be that. I just took it like, this is it like,

I'm gonna make myself look bad because I haven't had sex and forever and the new guys are gonna help me for it. But like I'm single, I don't have easy access to booty. That's how I took it. Well, it's just really weird. It's also very viable. It's just weird because normally Heather's thing

on this show is like, oh my God, guys, I banged the guy from the Gen Shop party. Do you remember that was hot? I'm a bad Mormon So she's kind of got that thing going on all the time So it's weird that she's getting super prudish about this now I think she's trying to get into a fight with Monica about asking her not asking about her daughter sex life That is just not I don't know. It's just not the wrong that it's just not the right time. But it's not the right time. You know what I'm trying to say.

Okay, good. Making this a tenet. So, we cap, sorry. So I bring up more facts about Amber Rat. So then Heather is like, she's basically like, I don't wanna talk about sex to Monica because I have seen the way she discusses sex

and it makes me very uncomfortable. And she goes, let's all be respectful to the fact that I am single and I'm not in a marriage. And it's not about sex shaming, but it's really, it's really shit that you would act like I'm ashamed to talk about it when I'm just trying to live my life. And I'm the only single person here. And Monica's like, And she said, I live my life. She says, I'm just trying to live my life and not be exposed. What is that? Oh, what does it mean? I don't know what it means.

I don't know what it means. And does it mean that she's having sex with somebody but she doesn't want to talk about on camera and they know that? I don't know, I'm trying to figure out like what the offense is here because I still don't get it. And I also like when she goes, yeah,

and how I've seen about Monica talk about sex, I don't like how she talks about it. And then it cuts to Monica going, okay, I suspect my brother in law for a year and a half. But that's not talking about sex. That's just saying like sex was something that happened in this relationship. So then Heather is,

so Heather's saying, well, Monica, you're married. And she's like, I'm literally going through a divorce. And I would be, I would be divorced if the fucker would just sign the papers. And just because he doesn't sign the past and the papers doesn't mean that I'm married. And she goes, so you think you're a single as I am? You think you're just a single lady putting balloons together for breakfast parties three times a year? Is that what you're trying to say? It's so weird. and then Monica's like,

yeah, if I wanted to fuck someone right now, like, first of all, Heather's too mad. I'm like, what is Heather mad about? Too mad. And then Monica, this is so assault like city though. They're like, okay, we're at a dinner, we better fight. So now they just start getting mad about nothing. So Monica's like, well, if I wanted to fuck someone

right now, I could fuck someone right now, and that's as single as again. So yeah, I'm single as you. Just because my man didn't sign the papers, you can't sit here and judge my relationship. Go ahead, judge her. What are you people fucking talking about? She never said that.

But it's not a fight. My God. This is not a good fight. And she's like, I'm not. I'm saying don't come at me saying you're single. It's me when you're not. And Lisa goes, I respect how she feels about this. And my husband's like, no one says that we shouldn't.

And Heather says, shut the fuck up. And then she goes, like Whitney said to me last night, so I just want to say this actually traces back to Whitney. This is Whitney's fault that I just said that. Just want to put that up there. That's the implication. Shut the fuck up. Which is a Whitney Rose quote everyone.

A Whitney Rose and her foul mouth. In the middle of a cave made out of batshit. So Whitney's like, um, you know what, guys, we should not play games anymore. You know what? I the smartest thing that Whitney has ever said, no more games, please. Okay. So it's really awkward now. So Whitney is like, the foods get at least. So Angie is like, okay, well, I actually wanted to take the heat, which is another mob movie, really off of you two. So Mara did. And Mara did this like sipping her tea and smiling in her turbans.

She's like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah. It's like, oh, it's just, well, you have, yet again, come for me. And Ruth goes, I don't know what you're referring to. Even though I look like I'm a fortune teller, I actually cannot read your mind on this one. Be quiet. I'm about to tell you, I'm just going to whip my whistle because it's kind of a lot of information. So let me have a swig of wine because why not? So Angie

has her wine. And it's like, oh, okay, I'll ring you, tell me you go right. Angie, I think they're and Whitney's just smiling at Angie. Like, oh my god, they're all like, oh god, Angie. Angie's still struggling with her first full-time season. You know, if you're like, okay, let's support Angie. Everybody, Angie's gonna be mad now. So, um, Angie's- Let me have another swig of this. What do you call it?

The tonic thing with the gin in it? Uh, gin and tonic. Yes, that's the more of this. So she goes, okay, you are accusing me of doing fraudulent things that I am in the Greek mafia. Oh, but and others like, wait, what? And she in the Greek mafia. I grew up with Auntie and trust me. She's no Tony soprano.

Where are you hearing this from? Are you getting des from some stranger? And, and you guys, Meredith, you have what employee? I have hundreds of people. I have a network of people one could say from the garbage people to the people who run the laundromat. I have hundreds and hundreds of people. And what you are doing is risking the livelihoods

of my employees by spreading rumors that I'm in the fucking mafia. I remember you said, but wait, can a Greek person not be successful without being accused of this? Is that the thing? I've never heard of that. Like, it's really personal,

like automatically being accused of being in the mafia. I don't know. Seems like a stretch. It's time to talk about stereotypes. Has budget not suffered enough for my people? They're like, you better, we're going to be on the shelf above. Dan and you people, you people are going to get it. You're saying, the next thing you're going. You see, the next thing you're going to say,

is, next thing you're going to say, is that Nia Vardolas has murdered people. It's just rude at this point. So, well, I have made no claims of anything, eh, M G, oh, so this is all made up. Why have not made any claims?

I have not done that whatsoever. I'm just the owner of the program, that's all. Who? I have, now this is where Meredith, like it seems just completely clear that she's guilty, right? Because Meredith normally would be. How?

Who could bear you? Who could bear you? Then I would, like normally it would be like headbopping, shaking, going into hysterics of getting up and walking away and if you Like that's normally what we would get but Meredith is really like The cap that swallowed it can air because that what you say she's like She's being very careful with her words. She has to be very calm, that way she can be careful with her words,

because this is where her lawyer sorry comes out, and she's like, I have never had a conversation where I have said anything of that nature about you. So, like, if she can't get into a tizzy, because she has to make sure, oh, I never said that. I said, I never had this Conversation about you did I have this conversation about Sean perhaps but not about you Okay, so Monica's mouth is a cape and she think I'm kidding. That is both face bullshit right here. We didn't have that conversation about her being in the Greek mafia

And she goes I'm I didn't I didn't I Now the way that they, just going back to when Monica first brought this up last week, she said she was walking through like old town, where was it, Park City, like downtown Park City. There were a lot of Park City. And they were talking about. And they were talking about.

And they were talking about by the Greek Mafia. Yeah. And her joking that, and it's probably like Angie's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why.

I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why.

I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think that's the reason why. I think run by Angie's family. Like, it's not just like a speculative, like, wouldn't that be funny?

Or do you think it is? Or maybe it was joky, but it did not sound like Meredith was saying, oh, I know, she's in the Greek mafia, and this is what happens. And it feels funky even standing up for Meredith because to me, Meredith just looks completely guilty here. Even though I'm feeling like, no, this is Monica fucking bullshitting as usual, right?

So I don't know. So Monica's like, let's just own it. You know, well, you know what else we heard? Thanks to some TM sent me on Instagram and I just like, I heard, I've heard, like, you don't need to go into it all. She's a few 170 thousand ARS. And she's, I do not do. Who is saying that? Her. Who is saying that? Who is saying that? Who? Why? And then Angie's like Monica. Monica said that after you called

her and told her to look in her DMs suddenly after your conversation, some documents appeared from a fake account. Oh, Pa. Yeah. call me one night and you said that you get a DM from so and so as a cat and I got one. And I go out and look and lo and behold, there it is. Plus, also a message from my mother being a bitch to me. But that's a separate story. I don't know who this person is, but I know who everyone thinks it is. Yeah, it's a separate story. You guys right now, I'm like an organic diet cock Suspicious I'm very suspicious Mary's like, oh wasn't me when he says, oh, huh? Because last year there were tea. I'm just going around about Lisa. Okay, you're the girl who tried to pass off just for jazz Whitney

Okay, like I feel like Whitney doesn't get a vote right now and Whitney is like, yeah And you're the one who brought it up with Meredith and this goes oh my god This feels exactly the same and Whitney's like, yeah, it's pretty the one who brought it up with Meredith. And this goes, oh my God, this feels exactly the same. And Whitney's like, yeah, it's pretty obvious you're doing this Meredith behind the scenes. And she goes, oh my God, I'm not doing anything. I'm living. So guilty. She's so guilty.

I'm so torn on this. Yeah. So Meredith is like, at this point, when this women, the accusations aren't even surprising. I don't know what the issue is here. I don't know if it's jealousy. I don't know if it's hatred. I don't really know, but they have been insatzently coming after me for nothing.

I'm just, you know, I'm a mom at home raising a toddler, and that's all it is. So wait a minute. You've never heard of her claiming bankruptcy or her husband being the biggest bun for a hot dog assembly line or taking orders to give people submit bads by the Hank Azaria. She's like, oh my God, you know what? You need to Google me bitch because I do fucking millions of dollars in business.

Millions. I will give you my social security number, my birthday, my mother's maiden and Google me. I'm fucking Monica's over there. Do it. I'm doing it. I've got my nose open. Do it. I know. So at least it's like, Mardus, you're lying about this. You're sending her fucking DMs about Angie. And I have never, I don't even understand what a DM is. Is that like Dominican Republic? I don't understand. And this is like, she's like, Meredith, you're done. We are done. I'm sick of this. I'm so done with you doing all this. Stop it.

Like, you did it to Mary, you did it to Jen. You said before Jen even got arrested, she's gonna have a Rico case, a racketeer in case, say it now, because I don't want DM sent to Monica Angie Heather and Whitney, okay, you did it all. And I'm sure. Okay. Here we go again. So now they're accusing Meredith of doing the Gen Shaw stuff. This all because remember they were accusing Meredith of that like Meredith called the FBI on on Gencha as if that's how that works or whatever. So they've went they're bringing this one back

around and now putting it all together, you know, it's like, well, did Meredith? What is going on here? So I like so bad that Meredith may have contributed to outing Gencha as a criminal. Like how could you do that to Jen? And you're like, what a terrible service Meredith did to all those old people.

Right. So then she's like, what's gonna come out next? Just tell me, because I would rather know, then find out in DM's and to Monica and other and Whitney and Monica's like, well, that's not what I'm feel, that's not what I'm feel too. Even though Monica's the one bringing all this stuff out, just cracks with the app.

Boom! And Lisa's like, Meredith, I don't give a fuck Meredith. You know what, I'm over there, stop doing a Meredith, stop it, we all know it's you! There's nothing to be over, I can do anything, I'm just here. And Lisa's like, okay you know what? You want to dig up stuff on people? We'll all start doing it and I will go, I will fucking go to the end. All right, listen, I'm not doing, I'm not.

I'm not doing anything. Look, I'm even pulling out my British accent to prove how not guilty I actually am right now. So they're like putting their faces in an napkin. It's been a big week for putting your face in an napkin on Bravo. They need her face behind an napkin on Southern charm. Actually put her face behind a paper plate on. Oh, good.

Good memory on all of you. They're putting all of these together. So it's just like, wow, it's a big week for a hide behind plate to napkins. So good week for the good people at vanity fair. And of course, by vanity fair, I mean, the people who make the paper plates and stuff, not the magazine. Just a family affair. They're like, we've got the name of a story,

people hiding their faces behind us. Like, oh, it's not Vanity Fair. It's the plates. So, there's nothing in the name of that. It's not the name of the plate brand, Vanity Fair, because I always laugh every time I get them. I don't really play to call it play brand. Vanty fair.

I'm not gonna look this one up on like selectites. Zool, I'm gonna look at it. Like a golden amber. So you know what, why is Chris Angel up on my screen? Is he Greek? Because I put famous Greek celebrities. So yeah, I guess Chris Angel is very Greek. Oh knew? Well, he's no yawning. That's for sure. And then Betty White, it says, 10 celebrities you'd never guess or Greek. And then it has Betty White's

picture. I'm not clicking that clickbait. You better move it, Betty. You're not getting me this time, Betty. Fucking a fucking Betty, fuckin' Betty White, trying to click bait me again. Okay, so then Lisa's like, you know what? If you start digging stuff up on people, you wanna do that, you wanna start digging stuff up? Cause I will go to the fucking end. I will do it till the fucking end with you. I am a la-vad.

Okay, well that sounds kind of like a threat. That you're no stranger to digging things up either. And so Meredith is like, I'm not doing anything. I'm like a little kid boy, she is so guilty. And then my favorite sound effect. So Lisa's like, you know what, crossman, crossman, can I get some breath?

That's his name right the waiter, is it crossman? Crossman, I need some bread. Bring it to me. Hurry, I need bread. I need bread. I eat so much. I've talked about food a lot today, right guys? Did everybody get that?

Hey Meredith, could you send everyone a DM talking about Amajayi? That'd be great. Put your powers to the views. And then they show the waiter and his name, this is Crossman, it's like Cross Alex, like it's not his name at all. She's, it's like Crossman, it's not his name at all. She's like Crossman, Crossman, can you come here?

It's like, my name's not Crossman. But so then at least it's like, you know what, Meredith, I feel like you look at Monica the way you still look at Whitney and sent them to Monica and said Monica is a vehicle to get it out there. I mean, do you guys think this is what I do when I sit around all day long? Are you not aware of how long it takes to open up a little tin of caviar

and podcasts with Sass? I mean, come on, I have a very busy life and business. When he was like, yes, because I did and I did it all for you last year. So yeah, I know. Oh, you did not. You hated you hated Lisa to last year. So yeah, I know. Oh, you did not. You hated Lisa too last year and you guys were trying to bring her down over anything you could find, which was yes, some of the SEC, but stop acting like you're so fucking innocent in all of this.

You all do it. All of you do it. I don't get how Mara doesn't realize that we're like onto you. He like doesn't take in Spiret Gadget to figure out what you're doing. She does not have superpowers. She can't make this go away. There's no invisibility cloak.

You're guilty. Okay, a lot of things happening here. She's invoking Inspector Gadget and an invisibility cloak. Isn't that Harry Potter? Oh, can't do. Sing her, her, her, her, her, her, her. She's a pop open and spring her up. She's like, fly flies into the clouds.

Go, Brooksie, go. I also like that that's the best inspector that Lisa could invoke in her confessional. Like I think normally you say, you don't need Inspector Clueso, you don't need, you know, You don't need Inspector Clueso. You don't need, you know, Jack Richardson. You go for like, Pobro. There's no Pobro. So, Pobro.

That's one too. I don't know who Clueso is. Oh, there's Clueso and Pobro? Yeah. Clueso and Pobro. Oh God. I'm doing all right guys. Orthcluso, a famous author.

I think he's an inspector. Hold on. Inspector. There is a Inspector Clueso. Yeah. That's all I thought. You have me doubting myself. It's a 1968 film. He's. Spectrically so. Yeah. That's what I thought. You have me doubting myself. It's a 1968 film.

He's from the Pink Panther though. Still. The plaro is what I really meant. The point is, you're supposed to give like a very good detective not Inspector Gadget. Well, Inspector Gadget to Harry Potter. I mean, this is Lisa Marlow we're talking about, okay. So that's her high water mark for detectives. It's really not. So then Lisa's like, you know what? I don't get how Meredith doesn't realize like, what onto you? Like, I mean, come on.

I only deal with Trith, Meredith. Like if we're gonna be right, Hustray, I can't be part of that. I'm sorry, I can't be part of that. Like, I can't. Like, if one more time, I'm sure as I've married it, I will have my cybersecurity team and go the distance on it. You know, her cybersecurity team is jack with those stupid bleach bangs. We all know it. I think it's Mayor Mick Chumies and the early bird.

She, I mean, like, all of our mothers are like, it's like cybersecurity teams. We're like, Ma, how do you know where this came from? Ma, Ma, Ma. I'm sorry like, it's like cyber security teams. We're like, mom. Yeah. How do you know where this came from? Mom, this is called the from line. So, right.

Right. It's like, yeah, I have a cyber security team that helps you with my Apple Tio, it's breaks. Apple TV. It's like, no, you're children. That's, children exist to help parents with Apple TV, is okay. That's what I exist to help parents with Apple TV. It's okay. I am totally the cybersecurity guy at my mom's house, 100%.

Or my mom, I just like when mom's phrased things like that, like my mom, I think I've told you this, but my mom's newest thing, I think she's heard that when you're really mad at a business, you take it to the internet, like you go complain and that's how you really get power. Like you say something on Twitter or something like that. So she's like, get me a tweet, get me a Twitter. And I'm like, why? I don't want to have Twitter. Please know. And she's like, yeah, because guess what? People fuck with me. I'm taking it online. I'm taking it online. So now when she's on the restaurant and she they forget her food. She says I'm taking this online. You watch you watch I'm gonna get you online

Who Rhonda's got a tweet Rhonda's got a Twitter watch out everybody. Yeah I also believe that children not only exist to help parents with Apple TV They also exist to describe the difference Repeatedly between email and DMs, or at one point in life email and instant messages, or email and text. That is an ongoing thing. My parents have actually,

they figured out that they know text messaging and they know the difference between texting and emailing, but there was a very long time where the distinction was not necessarily clear. Yeah. Oh, parents. So Whitney is like, wait a minute. Why the hell does Lisa have a cybersecurity guy?

Do I need one of those? And Heather's like, I mean, she has six lawyers. I can only assume this is like geek squad in our money. Yeah. John and I, we cross our teeth and dot our eyes. You do not expect us. Do you not expect us to have someone who works in cybersecurity, bitch, you've been warned.

Well, I love all this. Run me key. You're crumbling. Say it again. I'm sure Russia is trembling. I just love all of it. It's like who would be this sneaky to send to you besides Meredith?

By the way, I have cybersecurity people because that's how John and I are. And six lawyers like it. So far, you're the most offended and you are the fissiest out of all of these people with all of your fucking people that you pay for all of these clan best time operations that you've got going on. Can we just take this back at the house? I'm sick of arguing enough in a cave. I want to argue in a house. So Whitney is like, I Can we just take this back at the house? I'm sick of arguing in a cave. I want to argue in a house. So Whitney is like, I think we just need to end it.

Okay, this is a whole thing. It has to end. It's like, uh, Whitney, why are you trying to cut into that book with a fork and knife? And so at least it's like, she's like, we're friends. And we shouldn't be hurting each other in anaka basala. And so they get up to leave and Heather tells us like, listen, Heather has a very sophisticated way of pot stirring.

Like she's very into documents. Tell me what can I tell you? So she's like, okay, but to think one of our friends has gone to the extent of creating a fake account to send fake DMs to another one of our friends to about the, I mean, that's just like, it's a huge boondoggle. A boondoggle? No, it's not.

A deceit. Oh, I wrote receipt. I was like, what's a boondoggle of receipts? I want to return this boondoggle, damn it. I've got this receipt that seems to be encased in Ambarate. It's a huge boondoggle of deceit and this should be very hard. This is very weird behavior. Yeah, it's standard housewives. It's standard housewives. I mean I think they all do this and this isn't really too excuse Meredith. I do think that Meredith is guilty on some level.

I think she's guilty of like gossiping with Monica about it and being like Oh really Angie wants to fuck with us. Well, here's what we know about Angie She's got these bankruptcies and all this the thing with Monica is that Monica's just a wild card And she will sit there and talk about all this shit with you But then turn it against you just for fun. She's like an agent of chaos Monica Monica really doesn't care. Is she really friends with anybody? She hasn't made any real friendships. And I get that it's your first year, so I get that that would be hard, but she doesn't even seem to really have a plan,

except to just walk around dropping bombs. And I kind of love it. Monica is wonderful on this show. She is a disaster. She is wonderful. I think Meredith definitely sent the DMs. I don't think that she was accusing Angie seriously of being in the mafia. I don't know why I do feel the need to defend Meredith. I think it's because the Greek thing, the Greek mafia thing, feels like a false accusation. So I'm like, now you just stop that, but definitely murder to set up those DMs, like 100%.

Well, but the Greek mafia stuff wasn't even in the DMs. That was just like from a conversation walking through town. So I do believe the financial stuff that she'd be like, oh yeah, and here's the documents. But I also believe that Monica would know how to do that because Monica has like 21 cases against her. Most of them as we've talked about on this show are from non-payment. And if you haven't listened to Bravo Talket,

obviously go listen to their, they kind of break down what all these cases are. But Monica, you know, Monica's fishy. So I think Monica would 100% know how to go, look up dot any of these people. No wasn't the I could do it. Like we're not idiots. Anybody could go on and look up public records and documents on people. And so I don't think that that's really crazy. But I think that mixing it with oh, she said you were a Greek mafia and also bankruptcy bankruptcy. You get her so mad at the

mafia part that that's the only thing anyone's concentrating on when the grain of truth is like some bankrupt season you're late on your taxes. I mean, if you've got businesses worth millions of dollars, a hundred and seven in grand really isn't that much. It's like a missed estimated payment, you know, if you've got a multi-million dollar business, tax is ain't cheap.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure more revelations are gonna come at it. It seems like next week Meredith gets, she loses her mind again and she starts yelling again. She did this, this is a calm week for Meredith. Next week she's gonna be yelling again. So we're gonna see what happens to activate her. But thanks everyone for being here for this big episode.

It's big recap. We will catch you on the next one. We got a lot of shows, a lot of stuff to recap. So just buckle in and we'll catch you on the next episode of Crappens. Bye everyone. Hi. Watch what Crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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