Watch What Crappens - #2258 RHOBH, Part 1: The EsophaGuest

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

AnneMarie ruffles some feathers at Sutton’s store celebration when she questions her esophageal strife on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (S13E08). Luckily, Kim Richards is here to offer to color on the walls. This week’s bonus episode is a Trailer Trash breakdown of the Vanderpump Rules trailer. You can get it and or watch this recap on video at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference

in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find That's been over there. Hi, Bian. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Good to see you, honey. You're getting ready for these big holidays. How's Hanukkah been so far? How's Hanukkah been treating you, huh? You know, Hanukkah's been nice. I haven't actually done anything very Hanukkah-E. I think I'm gonna try to make some locus tonight

because you know what? The only thing I've done over the past eight days has been I've gone to a Hade cookie party, which was actually more Christmasy than Hanukkah-E. So I'm gonna try to do something Jewish tonight and make lockas. Has Hanukkah been for you? That's nice.

Hanukkah's been great for me. I get myself a gift every day. So that's been really fun. But I just make them simple. Like bananas. For some days. I got some new moisturizer. That was super fine.

That's nice. I kinda like mixing it both. I think if I ever do get married, I'm gonna marry a Jewish person. So I could do both things. Because I really like the gift every day and then I like a lot of gifts on one day as well. So that's what I'm gonna work on.

Also I'm wearing my name, my name, my name, I'm sure. So that's my first time wearing it. That's a Hanukkah gift right there. Yeah, that was a Hanukkah gift to myself. You can get it at crappensmerch.com. Also everybody, thanks so much for being here. So many recaps going on.

We're having such a good time. We're going to be doing Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, the first episode, and then the second and third episodes, probably over Christmas time somewhere when we'll be on break. And also Matt and Jake from Realty Gays joined us for another holiday recording. This one is a four part episode recapping ladies of the 80s, which is starring a bunch of 80s divas. And that's a lifetime Christmas movie.

And it was wow. It was, it's a wow. I had an assault the Gale Structure. was, it's a wow. I haven't, it's all the gill stricter. My first time that was done. My throat started to close up by the time that was done. It's the, it is, we've gone on record, at least I've gone on record to say it is the worst Christmas movie that we've covered on the show.

Actually, it might be the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen. I might give it that honor. It may be a globally bad movie. But huge. Bad is huge. Guys, we've seen a lot of duses here. Wow. Listen, I've seen, yeah.

A wide variety of Christmas movies. What's wrong, Ronnie? I've been thinking about, um, so I'm trying to get this magnetic thing to charge my phone and I can never put it on the magnet, Ronnie? I've been thinking about, so I'm trying to get this magnetic thing to charge my phone and I can never put it on the magnet. Right, I'm an idiot. Okay, but I'm a single person living alone. Well, I mean, I live with my dog,

but I feel so weird like putting on a fire and then watching Christmas movies. Is that weird to people? Is that like, I feel like it's like drinking alone. You know how when you're drinking at home alone, you're an alcoholic, sorry, son. Oh, yeah. It's not sad when you're watching Christmas movies

at home alone. I think that's literally what they're designed for. I think that is the target demo. Yeah, that's what I'm going to assume. I think the target demo is your alone sitting there with some bombons enjoying like this Christmas movie. If you're with people, is either that

or you're gonna be, the demo is like, sarcastic gay is watching together, making fun of them as they play. But yeah, I'm gonna be able to do that later on. And if I get lonely, I'll just go on my Instagram and make stories about it. I can only say comments back. I can watch with you guys instead.

So I don't know. Anyway, we're also doing, we also did a Vanderpump rules breakdown, trailer breakdown, trailer trash, which we call them. That is on our Patreon. It's also available as a video. As is this, on Crappens on Demand. So why everybody thinks for the support. Okay, so let's get into it.

Today is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, very huge episode because it's an esophagus fight. And let's say, I love a good esophagus fight. I hope that Erica makes a joke about deep-throating. I just don't see it happening, but I believe in America. It's not really her brand, but we'll see. We'll see what happens when that proverbial elevator door opens up and who's inside.

Okay, so let's go. So here we go. Mauricio and Kyle and Kyle's $19 million purse are in this scene. This is, did you notice Kyle had her purse like sitting right on her shoulder in this fucking Kyle? Yeah. It was like color to it. Oh, it was supposed to be nice. Like, color matching. Yeah, it was a nice one. Well, actually, I am going to be nice to Kyle today. But during that part, not during this part. Yeah, I'm not doing this. We're not there yet. We're not there yet. And obviously, by the way, I just want to point out, the music

was so intense during this like previously on and it's so funny How music changes the tone because like the music was like Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun so intense that I was immediately shifted by it. Like those videos where they just put horror movies over like innocent videos. Yeah. Like Peter Gabriel, Salisbury Hill. They're like the shining, which is the coming of age movie. Yeah. Another thing about the music, guys,

listen, I know Trixi Monaco is not an easy artist to deal with. We all know it. She's got drug issues, she's got alcohol issues, she still wants to smoke inside. I mean, my God, I bet famous, listen, people are famous, I get it, but even famous people are like, I don't smoke anymore. Like Trixi, you can't just walk into a Chili's and start smoking. And no, they don't have of the IP section in a Chili's to stop asking. Look, I know Trixi Monical is a difficult person difficult Person is not the easiest band in general to work with but did you fire them because the music on this show is

terrible. I mean my god. Oh Terrible there is one song that was like And I was like what is this song and then there was some terrible rap my least favorite is when they play their shitty royalty- free rap music That's like sung by some teenager from Bel Air and that's over footage of like Ventura Boulevard in Encino. I was like, what are you what what tone are you trying to establish here? Okay, this it was just terrible to get that Also, she knows what she's doing We are gonna, you know talk about microaggressions a little bit today, class.

So thanks for coming. But that'll be later. But also, well, yeah, I mean, a little. But also, I feel like whoever's doing the music currently, and not Trixi, whoever this new person is, has some microaggressions going on. I mean, I don't really appreciate that everybody they play, like, it's like a girl pirate song,

and then it gets to Garsell and every single time they play like rap. Like, come on you guys, really? I really even noticed that. I feel like it's like some little, I feel like it's like you said, like some white teenager in Bel Air, who's like, oh, it's a black cast remember,

like make it rap, like come on. Just you guys, this is so fucking embarrassing sometimes Who's doing just get my mom Alan Lazar? Can we get back to some Alan was our Thank you. I need my I need my song Yeah, what was it? It's like Kyle is upset when the doorbell rings. And then to listen to it, it's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Beverly Hills sound and I feel like the fact that they're now dipping into like the songs that couldn't even make it onto selling sunset is like that's just so beneath the show, you know. I know. Trixi is booked on so many other shows now that Bravo's like we're not paying her, you know,

this is what happens, you know, this is the reality reckoning. You don't pay Trixi which he's worth she's out of there. Maybe that's what, maybe that's what happened. Maybe we can just make it that Trixi got better offers and she's booked and busy instead of everybody banning Trixi because she won't stop smoking in her tillies. I mean, how does this show turns back on such bangers as Bell Air Tea Party?

You know, here I mean, I can press play because I was not gonna work. Ellen Lazar, here, I mean, I can press play it because, oh, is it not gonna work? Alan Lazar, your website doesn't even work right now. That is a fucking jam. Don't say that, don't say anything bad about Alan Lazar. But his website isn't working. I'm trying to play his beautiful music. Oh my gosh.

What if I try to play I love shopping? Come on, play I love, come on, come on Alan Lazar. Done, done, done, done, done, done. All the songs are not playing. His, I think his player is broken. Alan, he's gone, bro, invasive illness, the gospel of shopping. These are all wonderful songs. I love, bro, Alan. Come on. You're m... Maybe she tried it in a different browser. Well, you're, oh, I can hear it on mine.

You can? Yeah, but I can't. I don't have this set. Oh my God, now I want to stop playing. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, brrrrring, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, I feel really left out. That might not work.

That one was called just in case you guys couldn't hear it, but I hope you heard it in your head. And I hope you heard my brrrrring. Cause there's a lot of those. I forgot about that. And then the violin. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-d So that's a classic, I wonder about Yolanda. I feel like we played that before. Oh, here we go. Here we go. This is I love shopping.

It's a classic. I can't hear it. Oh yeah. So now you can't hear it, but I can hear it. Okay, you know what? I can't stop. I was just talking to you. Let's just stop.

Okay, we will come back to Alon Lesart next week now. We're gonna stop this, because we're making people crazy. But we will get back to Alon Lesart next week. Because you know what, he deserves some celebration. God dam it. Oh, yeah, 100% does. He's a wonderful artist, a wonderful American artist, and he should be having a retrospective at the Hollywood Bowl.

How about that? Oh, yeah. Okay, so let's start the show, shall we? Yeah. It is Christmas by the time we start the street cap. Okay, so Mauricio and Kyle are talking and Kyle's like, you'd jet lagged because Mauricio travels all the time now It does not have any time for Kyle because there is an agency open on every fucking block in this country

Okay, not even farther beyond this country in the world. There's like an agency if you go swimming in an ocean Let's say off the coast of Portugal You're gonna find an agency. I don't know if it's a fish carrying an A on its head You're gonna find an agency no matter where you go There's one on the fucking moon at this point, okay? They're everywhere. Literally, it's like SpongeBob is wearing a little agency cap these days. It's everywhere. Awesome. It's a mistake, you know, because you know I'd love to just go on RealTru.com and look at houses in Britain, I'm house shopping literally every day for the past 10 years. I've been doing it.

So I do that still. And I made the mistake. I was falling asleep in bed. And you know, sometimes you push things on accident. I pushed the contact button. Oh my God. I guess I didn't even have to like do the, are you sure you want to pray or whatever, because I started just getting ring, ring, ring.

And I started getting a call from these people from the agency. Those are the most aggressive fucking people at that place. And one of them called and he had a baby screaming in the background. It sounded like he was opening a sandwich while he was talking. It was like, I'm counting that, that, that.

I was like, no, no, I accidentally pressed the button. I don't need your, I'm sorry. And a baby screamed me and he's like, I'm getting all bitchy with me on the phone. I was like, let, listen here, agency. Okay, don't fuck with me. You're already everywhere. Don't make me try and just stomp you out.

I don't need to feel bitterness towards the agency when it's on every corner. It sounds like a real grind over there. It's like Glen Mauricio, Glen Ross, you know? Like everyone's getting there, working to get that Cadillac or whatever they were vying for. Glen Mory, Glen Ross. Ben Mory's, Glen Ross. Glen Mory. Glen Mory. Always be opening up the agency.

Confused for closers, all right. That's all. Yeah, it's for closers and yeah. Come on, come on, love being them, huh? Love beings are for closers, okay. Okay, so, it's a big loud meeting. So he's like, yeah, I actually feel fine. Like how was the dinner here the other night? It's like, um, ridiculous.

It was literally ridiculous. You would not believe it. And so we see flashbacks of the dinner party with Sutton mighting a joint at the table and Denise confronting Eric I'm Sutton, San Kyle. What do you want to lose a third sister? You've already lost two other sisters. Yeah, and then Kyle does the classic Kyle thing where she goes. I don't even know how this whole thing started which is you Kyle I'm just gonna sneeze off off my here for a second because This is I'm allergic to coming into acting now. You're gonna be a very full of

Smot by the end of it. No, it's not you. I started to say that line And I was like when caught I was like oh dear God Ben got No, it's not you. I started to say that line. And I was like, when Kyle, I was like, oh dear God, Ben, got to do the sentence before you see it. Now it's gone. I talked it out of existence. I talked it out of existence. I'm a predatory scientist.

But I was not. I was kind of used. So Kyle's like, I tried to sneeze on silent, much like my element was on music. So Kyle's like, you know, there've been a lot of rumors on the internet, so I'm like tongue to tongue and she get pushing, like there was something I was being secretive about. It's almost like because I was being secretive, she thought I had something to be secretive about.

So then we see a flashback. And like very, again, the music's very intense. It's very serious. And all the flashbacks are very serious. It's like Garsell saying like, what about the wedding band and all that stuff. And Kyle's like, I mean, everybody at the fucking table obviously thinks something now. Ugh.

Which by the way, I'm not make her happier. And I love that Kyle's just also kind of flashing her rings at Mauricio and even he won't ask. He's like, like nobody cares Kyle, okay? She's like really trying so hard to make this happen. And he's like, what? So what they were asking about on marriage? Well, clearly you told them to fuck off, right?

And she's like, um, no. No, because she's throwing you under the bus. She's making a mess in there. She's like, I'm gonna send this conversation with them. No, I don't know if he deserves to be thrown under the bus. Is the thing. Do I think that he probably cheated? Yeah, probably, but what the fuck do I know?

You know, I just read the tabloids like everybody else. I don't know. And also he's Mauricio. And also it's been a rumor forever. So, I mean, my guess on this whole situation has been he probably cheated and she's rebelling by having this storyline that maybe she's the one who cheated this time Which she's kind of leaning into but I don't know if he cheated or not

So if he did cheat then I feel bad for saying this but if he didn't cheat Kyle is totally throwing him up at the bus Right because she's you know, no one's not right saying it. She's like what is what is everybody? So you got your saying my husband's cheating on me right? You're saying is cheating on me, right? You're saying he's cheating on me, and then she's not correcting them. So if he didn't cheat, she's really fucking him over here. So that's why he's getting annoyed with her now,

because he's like, we told him to fuck off, right? She's like, no. That's like what I was cheating. Why would I abort a storyline? Yeah, well, you showed everyone the tattoo you got of my name, right, to show that you love me still, right? Yeah, well you showed everyone the tattoo you got of my name, right? To show that you love me still, right? Yeah, no.

So then we see Marie's saying like, you know, like, well, why wouldn't you tell him to fuck off? I mean, I think that's just like fucking me. And I mean, like, it just causes more problems. More rumors, more bullshit, the agency. Sorry, I just wanted to promote my agency. I just wanted to throw in a little promotion there. And then Kyle actually has the nerve to go. Why would anyone be attacking anyone on the marriage? Like, I wouldn't be surprised. I shouldn't be surprised, but here

I am. So you've seen that clip that's been going around of the Kyle Hipper clip where she's basically, who was she talking about? I'm trying to remember the season she was talking about. I haven't seen the clip, but if we're talking about hypocrisy, I can just watch the last few episodes at Denise Richards' final season. And, you know, you know, if we're, you know,

Kyle talking about like, why would anyone attack anyone's marriage? And then, you know, fix it in underneath, possibly having a hook up with Brandy Glendale, I think that answers itself. Well, it's a clip of Kyle being like, well, I don't understand why you wouldn't talk about your divorce in this group. I mean, why wouldn't you for your real friends? Like being all snotty. So, you know, there you go.

Who's the worst on the show? I mean, people got divorced. I'm trying to think of who is like, who is Kyle? I was talking about me. I mean, I don't even know. It could have been so many people. A lot of people could have worked on this show. So, so he's like, you know what's mean? She's, you know, which is her favorite thing.

That's just mean. That's mean. Yeah, that's mean. So he gets, she gets up to pass him and he gets up to kiss her and now he's gonna overcompensate because the cameras are there and He she won't say that he didn't cheat so he's gonna kiss her too hard, which is gross, so he does and she like yeah Those when years come in fast and hard, you know, you got to be I felt bad for Kyle in that moment. She probably had a little bruise on her lips. So like, I maxed vineyards.

So like these cost extra money to scare you more. Experience my kiss even harder than ever. It's like being attacked by closet doors. So, closet doors are out to get me. His vineyards are like those big, I'm looking at his vineyards right now. Closet doors are out to get me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So she's like, don't kiss me like that. I mean, I can kiss you however I want. And which actually, no, you can't. Stop being gross. Reseo, okay.

The season is already about you kind of maybe cheating. And you're also having every single scene with your wife inside your office, with your fucking boxing glove, things by, I mean, just stop, Mariseo. The brand-aid you're losing. You're losing the last season. Yes. I mean, I don't know.

I personally, when he said that, I sort of thought he was being joking, I didn't really take it as a serious sleeping with the enemy moment. But then we go to the other team. I'm saying I can kiss you. However, you want. No, I'm just caught up between, in a weird way,

standing up for Kyle, because I'm anti him if he cheated. But then I'm kind of on his side if he didn't see I just don't know where I'm at right now. No, you're in it. You're in a late-medium venture book. You're in your shoes, you own an venture book You don't know whether it turned to page 33 or 47 Yeah, and I figure women doubt you know, you could give everybody the benefit of the doubt or you could just give everybody The benefit of being wrong, or you could just give everybody the benefit of being wrong. And that's what I do. I feel like it's easier.

I feel like people are more dependable when you just assume they're all full of shit. Very Christmas everyone. So why is she saying that? It's true. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. It's almost that magical time of year. Speaking of, what's your favorite Christmas story, Ben?

Hands down, the Grinch. Same! It cracks me up that he hates all the marimons. Right, and he steals everyone's presents. But then it's like so heartwarming at the end when the whole town is still singing and he realizes that there's more Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know, it hits me right in the fields. Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring The Grinch,

and I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it, Ronnie. Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondry, Tis the Grint Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of Ruvil to use my situation as a teachable movement. So join me, the Grinch!

Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. Your family will love the show! As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Um, speaking of issues leaking through here, Sutton says Sutton arrives at her store. It's ready for her big four-year anniversary event.

And she walks into the office. And I love, I love Avi. She's so good at it, Avi. He's such a little ask ask us for this Avi guy. I told you he's taking notes and he's ready to just take something down at some point. That's what I need to see. I need to see a set of turn where Avi's like, he ends up talking like this. That entire time I was writing a book a book about the housewives. Oh, he's going to be like Will Smith's former assistant.

You know, you saw that thing that happened a few weeks ago where Will Smith's assistant went on like a talk show and was like, I caught Will Smith having sex with Dwayne Martin or whatever. That's what I'll be, which by the way, that rumor is like, yeah, well, but by the way, that rumor is like 20 years old, I'm sorry. Even I knew about that, even I,

and I'm not connected to, you know, celebrity gossip on the phone. Who's Duane Martin? He was like a sick commenter. Oh my gosh. For the years, there was a rumor that they were, that they were like a secret item. I mean, it's a rumor. I missed it.

Allegedly, allegedly. I missed typed and wrote, Swain Martin, and it's this like teenager pilot. I missed it. Allegedly. Allegedly. I missed it. I missed it. I wrote Swain Martin. It's this teenage pilot. He's like some teenage pilot. He's like some teenage pilot. He's like, oh my god, Will Smith and this teenage pilot.

What is going on? Okay, Dwayne Martin, let me see. Movies and TV. Dwayne Martin was married to Tisha Campbell. Oh. They used to have, I don't know if they still have, they had like a lounge in Studio City and then the other rumor was, oh, you go that lounge if you're on the DL. These are the rumors that swirled around for years and years, but again, they're just rumors, so no need to sue us, we'll smith, although if you sue us, that would be great publicity

for our show, but probably don't do it anyway, because it's probably not worth it. Thank you. Oh yeah, of course, I'd recommend this guys. Okay, so I think he's got bigger fish. The point is, the point is, I can see Avi definitely, if things go,

go south with Sutton, he is gonna go onto like a YouTube talk show and be like, well this is what I know about Sutton's track. You think she has a problem with drinking? Well, you don't even know the half of it because she keeps mummies in her basement of former house boys.

And you're like, whoa, I'm being... You know what, whoa, I'm being... So wait, he portrays Stephen Lewis on Peacock's modern day reinterpretation, Bell Air. So he's on the... Princess Bell Air. Prince of the Sun lives. Reboot? Wow, that is spicy. reputation, Bell Air. So he's on the Princess Bell Air. Lives reboot. Wow, that is spicy.

So Will Smith is possibly sleeping with somebody from the new Bell Air. Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho Lot, I said, this is according to his best friend of many years, a slasher assistant or whatever. The DL club, I feel it was called, but it was right there, sort of close to Universal City. I figured what the club was called. Well, it's like so obvious. Why would you have a DL club close to the place where the most tourists go with cameras?

I mean, that's just not good thinking. They were like, okay, everyone who's on the DL meet behind the jaws exhibit. Parking, dressing parking, take the escalator down to vent your pull of art. Make it right. If you've gone to love, if you approach Pachito Moss, you've gone to love if you've if you approach Pukito Moss you've walked too far. I

I know it is a club. There's a glory hole behind jaws just make sure that you only split once jaws jumps out of the water and opens this mouth really big when everybody's cameras are out and ready to snap like what that who came up and this is the worst DL place I've ever heard of my life? No, it's not at City Walk.

It's by Universal City and City Walk are two different things. City Walk is at Universal Studios, which by the way, it's City Walk. It's a love at City Walk. That would be amazing. By the way, I'm sure there's a lot of DL activity that happens in that water fountain

that's embedded in the sidewalk there. You know what I'm sure there's a lot of DL activity that happens in that water fountain that's embedded in the sidewalk there You know what I'm talking about? The where the water comes out of the ground? The worst water fountain. How can you do anything to you? That's the fossil the worst deal place of all time. You're like, okay, the water's hiding the water's hiding it's oh wait the water just went down. Oh no But for people who have not been to Universal Studios theme park and City Walk, they have this embedded film that like I feel like this

This style of fountain was popular around the year 2002 and it's the worst style fountain because it looks like you're just walking in the sidewalk But then the water shoots up like the Bellagio out of the sidewalk and if you're not paying attention You don't realize you've actually walked up to a water fountain and all of a sudden you got water fountain up in your business It's actually a deal water fountain. You're right trying to hide a blow job behind one of those. It's like I'm not a water fountain. I'm just a side I'm a side one side one. No, I'm not a water fountain. No, I'm not. I'm just a sidewalk. I'm a sidewalk. I'm totally a sidewalk, guys. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. I'm glad of that. No, no, that wasn't me. Nope, nope, nope. I've got a wife. I don't know what your sidewalks are. I'm a sidewalk and a marriage of sidewalk. What are you talking about?

I'm not wet. Look, I'm a sidewalk. Pedestrians are walking on me. I'm sorry. That was not me doing a water fountain. That was someone dropped a, someone dropped a water on me and you saw it in reverse. Okay. So you are this first thing to fish out. Thank you. This is great. This is great. So Avi, Avi is a big proponent of DL water fountains. Yeah. So okay, she's getting the store ready and she's really good at self promotion. Her first line coming into her store is, wow, what's that smell' here. What is that? That's a strong happy anniversary.

I mean, then he's trying to ignore her and be like, oh my god, here we are at a party for your story, which is so successful. Shit. No, it smells. What is it? Some smells. Avi, did you leave me with that? No, I'm not egg roll in the fridge. What is it? Some smells. Avi, did you leave it at the fridge? No, I don't know. No, I don't know. You have to stop going a panda express. Then someone named Georgia comes, which of course, you're even hiring someone with a southern state as a name.

And she's like, hey, Georgia, what's that smell? What is it? She goes, oh my God, there's a smell. Yes, there's a smell. It smells like sewage. Oh my God, Simon. Georgia, I just tried it. Yes, there's a smell, smells like sewage. Oh my god, Simon. Georgia's trying to survive. I just wanted to supply it. It's break it to ya. I think we all know Georgia had a little...

She had a... Georgia just came from that water fountain. Georgia. Floppy ass, Georgia. Georgia got an unexpected animal. From that water fountain And it's been wreaking havoc ever since So now it's our son's life comes and I just want to say sentence is not very economical Okay, she talks a lot about like a my store is making it on its own this year. It's so finally

We have learned how to budget you have not learned how to budget shit You've got like ten employees there. What is your store like? It's a size of like a sunglasses key. I'll skip them all how many employees do you need get some fucking Get some fucking sushi from down the street at the rouse and put it out there And no one can even fit in this thing There's a song straw two steps away from your place go get some scoops So this party planner comes in and her plate hurt the party planner's name, but by the way, I have never been more amused by a last name. Her name is Nicole Herstie. She is one letter away from literally having the last name of

Thurstie, which by the way, she's totally not Thurstie on the show, but I just think it's hilarious that finally we get someone on the show whose name is basically Thurstie. And she comes in. And you know her original name is Teresa and she refuses to use it. Well, actually, you know what's funny? Is that her full name is Nicole Hercye Sain, S-A-I-N-E. So she has Sain and thirsty basically in her name. So, I mean, that's, she should be a reality star.

I don't know why, like, she's already branded because you know, she's not the same. Just throwing bombs at me. We're here today. So then, something's like, wow, you know what? Here we are. I dreamt of having a store for 10 years. And I got a store four years ago,

and we just, we loved it. It was so pretty. And in four years, we're still here, you know? And people just, they didn't believe in me, you know? And I just, I want to celebrate that. I just want to celebrate that. I have paid the rent for four years. On this, don't be.

Being a multi-zillionaire. It is crazy. Yeah, I mean, it is impressive that she stayed open through the pandemic, but also she's getting $300,000 a month, so I'm probably not too much of an issue. And not sad. Listen, that's still her money. Like you still earn that money.

Like the producers tried to shame her because she's like, and I've done it without anybody else's money. And they were like, uh, did you use your divorce money? She says, yeah, of course. And they kind of tried to shame her. Listen, if you marry somebody, like they got married in college, she worked with his ass. They she rates those kids. I mean, that's her money.

I don't think it's she should be looked down upon it. I just think it's funny when you have like a zillion dollars. You're like, it is amazing. I am still open. Well, let me know. But you know what? You're rich. This shop is like my esophagus still up.

So she says, you know, I thought it's struggling. And you know, don't try and ask it to take in an entire piece of pizza, but it's here. It's still here. And I am here. So she says, you know, I thought this is the sort of sweet little thing that I'm gonna do and all of a sudden it became like a business and then it became a bigger business. And now I have a second business that I'm pairing

on top of the first business. And everything has happened quickly and it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I got a terrible vending machine because my son doesn't know how to do his job. So, you know, someday maybe it'll be a bigger business once he has proper snacks involved. But for right now, I've become a business woman. I'm business.

You know, first I sold shirts with my name on them. Then I sold bags with my name on them. Then I sold bags with shirts inside of them, with drawings of my face on them. So it's basically target now. That makes me a distraught woman. Isn't that phrase business woman or business man? That name is not a funny word. That's what I was thinking about.

Like, are you still on? She does business. She does, I wish. She does business. She's a business woman. Like, what a silly phrase. I have a business. She's a business woman. Like, what a silly phrase. I have a business. You're a business woman.

It's just like a very Lisa Vanderpump thing. Like, I have my vanilla envelope because I do business, business, envelope, business. Well, I'm a carb person. So, I guess it makes more sense to me. I like easy labels like that, you know? Businesswoman does business, carp man, does carbs. There are just some words in the English language that we just are so used to, we don't even question them.

But like if you think about it, businessman or businesswoman is such a silly creation of a word. It's sort of like if you go to a stadium, concessions, that is a hilarious thing to cost food. I'm gonna have a concession. I'm conceding. I was gonna eat well today, but I'm gonna have to concede. Give me the kick-at.

I'm gonna allow that you were correct in this argument. Thank you for covering these nuts and chocolate. They are delicious. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Sandy there behind the counter. You're right, and your mom is awful. Thank you for this man's. I appreciate it. I've conceded it. You know, I found my Lisa Rinalybs.

Well, he made these during the pandemic these masks. while Lisa Rina lives. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and then she unfollowed me. So that was the end of that. Okay, so anyway, that was just a little story of this matter here and right there. Oh, look at my daughter see if I have any fun props, but I don't have a galley. Oh, here's the fun prop. Most hated a novel by one of the real housewives of Toronto, Cara Alloway. Cara congratulations on your galley.

Love it. She sent it to me and then like months ago was like, so do you wanna mention it at all? I mean, congratulations. Here it is, most hated by Kara Alley. There we go. Also, I'm sorry we're so loopy today, everybody. It's, we're not even close to the Christmas holiday.

We have more than a week left, but we're acting like it's the last day of school Okay, I mean sorry sorry for putting you to your pain, but also yeah, I'm expecting more today Okay, so Sun's like They're talking about the food and everything setting the food and she goes listen don't worry about the look look Everyone's on was that Octavia what's it called Olympic? Acting like she's Yeah, like nobody knows what it is so funny. Nobody's on it. Nobody can pronounce it yet

It's a week late over on my end because everybody's fucking on it Okay, and if you're not on it and you don't because everybody's fucking on it, okay? And if you're not on it and you don't know somebody that's on it, you're a fucking wire, okay? I'm just sick of hearing about it. Just take your fucking ozampic and shut the fuck up about it. I mean, if anything, we're all just gonna save money on dinner bills. Like, who's complaining? Stop your bitching everybody. So, Sutton is like, yeah, I just don't even know what that's called.

What is it? What is it? And they're like, it's called those Ampix. And she goes, yeah, well, everyone's doing that. So we don't have to have much food. So now listen, this isn't important not for me. And I love that I'm doing it on my own. And this is where the producer's like, so you're using spousal support. And she's like, yeah, of course. She's a scrisse. So then Crystal, FaceTime, Sutton, and she's, so I noticed this. This is also, this is very funny to me. I love that. As soon as Sutton gets a FaceTime, Avi comes in with this little prop.

It was like a little elephant and just like puts it right there. So it's because Sutton cannot be, cannot hold up her own phone. So which I get, by the way, I get, I always would love, I would love to have an assistant who just slide the little white elephant behind my phone so I can, I can look at it. But I just love that he is like right there with that elephant. He is in full Beverly Hills assistant mode. Yeah. Did you see that?

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. I just don't have anything to add to it I was just dreaming of what life that what kind of life that must be if like someone just want to with a Y elephant to prop my shit on my crab that that life is amazing It reminds me sorry guys. Here's a tangent just everyone deal with it. No more Sorry, you know what? I'm sorry for saying sorry fuck that

No, this is I was actually Texas fat. We're going back to Universal Studios because you need a blowjob, but I don't want anybody to know about it. Especially because I have no hunger because of all this Olympic I'm on. So this is pertaining to the white elephant thing with the phone. Back in 2002, I was a production assistant on a sitcom, called Three Sisters, it had like two seasons, it was a terrible sitcom. And one of the cast members was Diane Cannon.

And this was that universe of studios, that it was shot at the universe of studios, that's the tie in there. But one thing, it was a multi-cam sitcom, and when they changed sets, there was this whole area where the cameras had to come through. And at one point, the cameras needed to come through, and Diane Cannon was sitting in like the director's chair

kind of thing, getting glam done, and she had to move. So me as a PA, I had to go up to Miss Diane Cannon and say, hi, I'm so sorry, but the cameras are coming through. Do you mind like just moving back a little bit and she looked at me as if I literally said, I have just abducted your children

and I'm holding them from ransom and even if you give me the money, I'm gonna kill them. She gave me such a horrified look and all her gaze looked at me, even more horrified. They were all, it was like three obvious. They looked at me and then they lifted Diane up in her chair and moved her back, you know, out of the way. It was like, but it was like, I love that was like the gaze just were like, oh, we know what we need

to do for our diva right this moment because she was like, I am not going to get out of this chair. And it's like, that's what this reminded me of. Like, suddenly being like, I'm getting a face time, but I'm not touching this phone. Someone brought me up for me. Long story, but it's like the same energy for me. It just probably backs that place. I'm sorry, Diana, if you're hearing this. I want those gaze. I just feel like we would never have those gaze

because if we did it, they'd be like, do it yourself, you lazy fuck. I'm pushing your back. Do gaze have gaze though? I don't your back. Do gays have gays though? I don't think so. Gays have different gays. They're a different style of gay, on tarage. But I feel like it's not the same thing.

You know what I mean? If a gay has, if a housewife has a gay, that's like a very specific gay. But if a gay has, even that same kind of gay, like Mikey, Mikey with us would be like, fuck you, you don't even know how to step all the time from fucking out of here until you fucking learn what the hell you're doing. And once you decide to respect me, you can give me a call and maybe pay for me something and I might decide to check my Venmo on your ass and maybe show up if I fucking feel like it.

Not you buy. Like even if they like you, they'll still like not your phone on a fucking wide. You know what I mean? Yeah. Thank you, they'll still like not your phone on a fucking wide-angle. You know what I mean? Yeah, but if you're like a diva, then the game just will literally tumble and do everything for you, including prop up your phone, because you can't do it yourself. Commercials, here comes one right now. Yeah, okay, so Crystal's like, hi, she's, oh my God, what's wrong with you? She's like, I'm just tired.

Jesus. Crystal giving, need to go to urgent care energy. So, so rude. Like who says that? This is, who leave it? This is why I don't even use FaceTime. I don't want people judging me every day on time. I pick up the phone.

Who looks good every time they pick up the phone? It's like you are on television, man. So Crystal's asking about the event. Does everyone still invited? Is Kyle gonna come? And Sun's luck. I mean, I don't want her to come if we're gonna fad, but I'm not playing around.

I employ people and I run a business, and it is important. And to hear calm making these accusations about like, drinking is so ridiculous. And then when you told me that it's not just Kyle, it's also to read that pieces, I was so mad I had to have three cocktails this morning. If you're in. And then we cut to the front.

I mean, I've had a gallon to get over this. Okay. You know, the only person that would really listen to me, talk about this, it's my good friend, Bill, the deer. Mr. Bill, the deer. They're very, I'm sorry, what were we talking about? He does have drinks on the china, I'll tell you that much. So we get a flashback to Dereet and Kyle talking to Crystal about it, about

setting drinking and Dereet's like, where's the drinking out? And Kyle's like, yeah, and you know what? vodka can't make people mean. I know that much. I know. Oh yeah, you're a real fucking expert over there, Betty Ford. Just be quiet, okay? You stop drinking for about five minutes.

And you don't get to like it on this bandwagon again. She did have to deal with Kim and Kim's darker chapters of her life. So I will give her like an ounce of credibility on that statement. She probably had Kim throwing apples and magic markers at her. So sudden's like, let me just go this, you know, some things we need to thank five to four. Okay. Kim is an artist.

It is. I'd very, oh. It is funny to think of office supplies being thrown at Kyle. Just any like a stapler post-its. So, Sudden's like, I'm an, it is the most ludicrous, dangerous accusation that they're trying to put out there. And I am stomping it out right now. I mean this could hurt my business, it could hurt my custodial arrangements.

My ex-husband could take my child away if this gets out. I mean, which would be amazing because last I heard his arm was stuck up a vending machine and he needed to be extracted. But anyway, he could be taken to England. I mean, what are these girls doing? How old are her children? Because she has three, right? So I think the vending machine one is a different one. So she has three kids.

Porter, Philip, and James. So how old are they? What about the girl? I'll be a girl of Porter. Porter, that's Porter. Porter, huh? Porter. I named my daughter after a future employee.

Porter. I just wanted my child to be raised with a name that implies work, even though she probably will never have to. I've named my children Porter, Busboy, and coachek. So. Oh. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Coachek. Hahaha. Coachek actually sounds like a southern name, you know, like brick.

Like all yours, muscle, brick. And here's muscle, and coachek. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Okay. So we come back to check he's known to run around fountains at Universal City. Anyway, go on, run. So we cut back and something's like, this is unbelievable.

I can not believe people are calling me a drinker. Olive. What? I mean, olive. What? I mean, period. Did you just, period? Did you just time a burp into that? A little bubble just floats up. I mean, the sudden, come on, girl.

So yeah, I could hurt her custodial arrangements on that. So she's like, okay, well, we heard you. By that, I mean, because my son is also my custodian, he cleans up the messes around here that Georgia leaves. And I hate calling him that, because he has a cousin named custodian. Which makes it kind of awkward. We're a blue collar, we're a blue collar in the blood.

Kind of a family. We are blue blood collar. My nephew, my nephew, broom is calling. Hi, broom. First, not even a job. That's just something that people with jobs use. But it's because we don't really like it. They never really caught on them.

They're the poor ones. Oh hold on, here's my friend from France. I'm my my my my my my niece from France. Hey, Valle. How you doing? Oh my God, I just got off with broom. What an embarrassment to your family. You know, his mother's swiffer really should have thought a little harder. I mean, seriously, just call us for some ideas. Well, it's better than his no good brother mop. Okay. Okay.

So, um, the sentence is blah, blah, and about the store. And, um, Crystal's like, oh my god, you need at least 10 drinks for that. Just yeah, well, I'm gonna have ten Well, I thought I would double up tomorrow maybe It's just yeah, and then the day after I'm gonna shame you for it. So you better get ready bitch Okay, I don't know why your finger gonna be right now, but I'm on the helps with other people right now So I'm just gonna pretend that didn't happen. Okay, go put yourself in a ponytail and get some moisturiser going. I believe in you So now we go over to Kyle's house for her therapist and life coach Jamie to come over Jamie was like I'm gonna be on TV. So I'm gonna wear a tight sweater

so they come over and they have to lock the door in the room that they're in because Bambi, the wild golden retriever who spent, I feel like a season eating people sandwiches off coffee tables, now knows how to open doors with his paws. So, folks, listen, we've been saying this for years, those dogs just want out.

That's all they want. You know how there are some things on TV? Well, you don't know, you don't have a, well, maybe you do know, I don't know. But there are some things on TV. I'm like, does the dog even see what's on the TV? Cause maybe he doesn't see the dimensions of it cause like he doesn't care.

There could be screaming and yelling. He just looks away. But there are some things where he just like watches the whole thing like he's enraptured, you know? And I think that Kyle's dogs, like the only thing that you can count on them paying attention to is a preview, forget out. They just wanna leave.

These dogs, that was a really long way of saying, these dogs just let them go, open the door. And just let them go. I've never seen, they're like tying sheets together in the fucking back room trying to figure out a way to help each other down the windows of the second floor. It is literally like Maggie Simpson in that episode where she escapes that daycare.

Or choice stories. I was like, my dogs don't know how to stay in when I'm asking them to, but they do know how to use their Opposable thumbs now because they're using spoons to make holes in the wall. It's just the weirdest thing I just don't know where that's coming from. Let them out. So Kyle has a scene that I thought was gonna just be like a you know Like a self-serving scene about like our sisters and stuff But it actually is like really, really sad scene

because something we have heard about, but the first time that it's really been explored on the show is that her best friend in the world died by suicide. And it's really sad to hear Kyle talk about how no answers, no understanding why. To me, it gives actually a lot of insight into what's going on into the season

because I think it's, I would not be surprised. In fact, some people even wrote in to us, or wrote on our Instagram, like chances are, like Mauricio was not there for her the way she needed and that probably really made her reexamine the marriage. I mean, that's something, that is something that can really affect a relationship. And also, it actually makes me think about Morgan Wade

a little bit, like obviously the big rumor is, oh my God, lesbian love affair, but it is also possible that Kyle is really a need of filling the void that, you know, of like having a certain kind of a certain style of best friend. That style sounds like almost shallow, but someone who fills the role that her friend had taken. So it adds a lot of layers to this, but ultimately it was just really sad and tragic. Yeah, it was really sad. And also, this is one of the only times I think I've ever said this.

This was a very good therapy scene. Usually the therapy scenes on here are like, oh my God, you don't even go to this therapist. This is like some internet quack. I don't believe this. This one I believed, I thought this was a good therapist and you could tell, I mean, he said, like I've been talking to you for 20 years or something, or they said they've been in therapy for 20 years.

And you could really tell like he knows her very well. And he, I thought was really good at kind of listening to what she's saying, but also telling your listen, you've got kind of an obsessive part of you that that's how you're wired. And so you have to remember that you're just going through these loops because of that. But also, even if this is what your sisters

or these other people are doing to you, doing to you, it's still your decision ultimately on, I mean, I don't know, it was just very good therapy. As someone who needs it, and has used it quite a bit, I thought it was good. It didn't come off as like useless shitty therapy, like reality show therapy to me. So it was good. It was an interesting thing. Obviously, we're not going to like crack on Kyle during the scene. Like we wouldn't. No, of course not. But it does,

to me, it really does give me a larger context to what's going on in her life. Or I guess it sort of opens up like a deeper consideration of what she might be going through. It may not be as simple as like, oh, there was an affair or it might not be as simple as like, oh, she is having a lesbian thing with Morgan Wade. Now I'm like, there could be like, actually like really, like sad, really sad. Well, we always knew there's some sad stuff

that's driving all this. As is always the case on the show, because Brevley Hills is one of the darkest, if not the darkest, Real Housewives. But it was really sad. And I also enjoyed the therapy in this one. So I was all ready to make fun of it too. I was like a life coach.

I was like, Kyle, you're rich. You can get an actual therapist, not a life coach, but it was pretty good. Yeah, so it's going to something more entertaining, Garsell and her son. Oh my God. The scene that we always look forward to every episode. Yes, so in this one, we get to meet Ashlyn.

So Ashlyn, very pretty, very seems very sweet. This is one of those young couples. You're like, oh my God, shut up. Why might they know with you? Go to a different table. Because they're like, oh my God, I love you. No, I love you. What are you gonna order?

I wanna order that. No, what are you gonna order? I love you. Oh my God, are we gonna see more of each other? Pinky promise? Pinky promise. Should I take a selfie of us Pinky promise? Pinky promise. Should I take a selfie of us while I promise?

Cause then it's really gonna be... Oh my God, duh. I remember feeling like this way. And I just wish someone was there with a fly-swatter to smack me in the face and be like, he's a douchebag, honey. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's why if you ever go to a Brazilian steakhouse and see Ronnie walking around with the fly swatter, he's just paying it forward. So I'm just looking for kids to educate.

I'm like, it's me, you're anti-Rony. We haven't met yet, but football. He's a huge prank, honey. Each year, each year, cheese roll and get move on. Yeah, he, Jade tells the story is talking about how, apparently he like talks on the phone with her, like late at night, and then sometimes she's like asleep, but he still stays on, and then she's like, well, if that happens,

you've gotta hang up, and he's like, but what if you wake up again? Which in some way was very cute, but also like, maybe not the most compelling television. So the point is that, well it's also like listening. This is scary, okay. Like it's like cute when you're in love with the person, but when you're trying to break up with them, it's not cute.

It's like, but what if you change your mind when you're waking up? So, I mean, but you know, sweet kids. Garsell's done a good job with their kids, I mean, but, you know, sweet kids. Garsell's done a good job with their kids, I think. They seem like, to really smart and lovely boys and wish them all the luck. Don't necessarily need as many updates on them,

but, you know, happy that they're doing well. So, what? It's a real housewife, so, you know, and it's funny because we're like, just two gay guys. We just want to see like, diva's going to battle. And it's so funny that every time a real scene comes on, we're like just too gay guys. We just want to see like, diva's going to battle. And it's so funny that every time a real scene comes on, we're like, oh my god, no one watches it for this.

When of course, the target audience probably does watch it for this, you know, but we're like, oh my god, we got it. Yeah, but like, you had a baby boy. Boy. Like, yeah, but honestly, yes, because, okay, here's what I want from, here's what I want from my housewives scenes.

I want them either together, gossiping. I want them at a party, confronting each other about something stupid. I want them to, I want them being tone deaf somewhere. I love when they're tone deaf. I don't care what people say. I love a tone deaf housewife because then we all laugh at them.

That's the whole point. I also like when they interact with their parents. And, you know, so that's why Salt Lake City is so good for me, because it's mainly just that. Fight since sprinter vans, a baseless accusation, Linda, you know, that's what I like. I don't need to see the teens. I don't need to see the teens,

I don't need to see the teens between the babies. Yeah. So then we go to, what else? Yeah, I mean, I was just like, well, okay, they're seen, but you know, it was cute. And Garsell is such a mom with a kid, a son who's got a girlfriend, where she's like, oh, aren't you sweet, Ashlyn?

Hmm, wow, Ashlyn, aren't you sweet, Ashlyn? Wow, Ashlyn, aren't you sweet? And she says, you know, Ashlyn, the other night I wanted to watch a movie with my son and fortunately he couldn't because he wanted to watch you sleep. And she's like, oh my God, honey, like you have to watch a movie with your mom and she doesn't even look at her and she goes, that's why I like you, Ashlyn. That's why I like you.

It's like, yeah, thank you, promise you're gonna watch a movie with your mom, pinky promise. And the car sales like, aren't you sweet? Now, yes, I get fucking permission from this little girl to get watching a movie with this momma. Yeah, things are not gonna last very very long between Ashland and Garcell. Garcell is going to be like, get out of my house. So then we go over to Ann Marie in her kitchen. This is like getting to learn about Ann Marie's family.

And I will give a pass because we need to learn about her family. So we'll see her children. It's fine. But one thing I was surprised about was like, she's serving her kids like waffles and pancakes, but they all want frosted flakes instead. And I'm like, you're choosing, I mean, frosted flakes are delicious,

but you're choosing that over waffles and pancakes. To me, there's some problems here. The value system has all turned around. Well, my thing is, Anmari's gotten on my nerves a little so far just because she's so far up Kyle's ass that it's really hard to watch because she's basically just coming into Duke Kyle's dirty work is what it seems like so far.

So I don't really like her, but I will say this seemed turned me a little because I love the options in her home. Waffles? No pancakes. Frosted, I was like, this sounds like heaven, like I was actually checking my pulse. I was like, have I had a heart attack? Am I still on this earth?

I was like, how is she doing this? And also I was like, and it seemed like at the end they had got all three. And I was like, what, how is this, this has to be performative, okay, this has to be, this is ridiculous. Who? Then we meet her husband, Marcellus.

He's doing the Tony the Tiger. They're great. And she tells us about how they've been married nine years. And she's like, when Marcellus and I first met, there was like a lot of women going after him, but from day one, like he just owned a relationship. And that's just been it. And you know, he told me the first night

I was gonna be his wife, and he just acted accordingly every step of the way. So I guess I won. Sure did. Hey, just don't read any headlines. Don't read any headlines, okay? Oh, but then we, yeah, exactly. And then we get to this part, okay?

Cause he's like, look at me. I won, the best man in the world. And then literally get to this part. Okay, because she's like, look at me. I won, the best man in the world. And then literally her next line is, yeah, Marcellus, he's always telling me the reason he fell in love with me is because he's like, you're an eight and a half at everything. He's like, you're not a ten in looks, you're not a ten as an athlete, and you're not a ten in brains.

But you are an eight and a half at everything you do. And like, you know, not a lot of people can say that, okay, fuck off. Listen, I don't need you to actually think I'm attended everything, but I need you to fucking tell me I'm attended every day. Tell me. Who marries an honest person?

Get the fuck out of my car and stop calling me your fucking wife, get out, go, why? He basically called her Mario, right? Like, you know, when you play Super Mario Brothers, you know, like Princess Beach, she floats. Luigi jumps really fast, toad picks up everything fast. But Mario is like the most boring one you can ask you.

There's one that they can't buy. Or the little purple one with the stit- I was with that one called? For babies, like what's the baby plant there fuel? It is. It is. Yeah, it's a little purple bunny thing. Yeah, I was going back to Super Maribrow.

There's two old school stuff. Okay, go ahead. I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about, though. Either way, the point is that Mario has no special abilities but can do everything kind of well but doesn't excel in anything. So he's always like the least interesting one to choose.

And he basically just called him Mario. Like you're, you don't excel at anything but you're solid eight and half with everything else. So, I mean, that's like a divorce time. Bye. Who says that? Wow, great. What a good but not excellent job you've done, honey. So yeah, I mean that's like a divorce time by who says that wow great What a what a good but not excellent job you've done honey by Divorce reliably reliably. You know what I'm gonna start calling you honey

Toyota you know you're just reliable. You're gonna last a long time might have asked for calling you Corolla I would call you Alexis, but I don't want you to get a big head. So let's just go rap for it. Let's just stick with it. No rap for it. It's really in demand. Let's do what about Camry? I'll just call you Cam. Cammy Camry. Have a cam. Hello there. This is a two-part recap. Okay, This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later. For part two. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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