Watch What Crappens - #2272 Holiday Crossover Event Part Two - Ladies of the 80’s with Reality Gays

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

*This is Part TWO of a four-part recap!* For this year’s Holiday Movie Crossover Extravaganza with Matt and Poodle from The Reality Gays Podcast, we’re covering Lifetime’s ode to big haired blonde divas from our past, Ladies of the 80’s. To get the video versions, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb to find something you won't forget. Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast, and over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great

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Welcome back to our drama. This is Gay Crappens. Watch what Crappens and reality gays here talking about ladies of the 80s. Colin, Adivas Christmas. And we were just now part two. We were just now starting talking about the blood of the movie. Part one was more of a general overview. Discussions, impressions, thoughts,

and reactions. I enjoyed that. Thoughts about movies, how the movie was put together, things the actor, the makers could have done. We missed it. Go back and listen to it. We're not going to catch it. This isn't Cliff's notes for what you already missed. Go back and listen to the fucking thing. And if you this isn't Cliff's notes for what you already missed go back and listen to the fucking thing and if you have a watch ladies of the eighties you don't think you're fine yeah probably okay I think you're fine so watching ladies of the eighties right now and guess what we're living minute by minute so bend go ahead we have not let Ben finish the sentence for 10,000. I'm just trying to launch the recap. So for those who do want to watch it,

it is available on Lifetime. Go to the Lifetime website and look up Ladies of the 80s and add to their fives of views. So it starts off with a song that I don't remember the tune because it's not quite as catchy as the Ladies of the 80s song. But the lyrics are, December comes, it brings a joy, I can't remember the tune because it's not quite as catchy as the ladies of the 80s song, but the lyrics are December comes it brings a joy. I can't explain though years may change the Christmas spirit always remains the same It's Christmas time the magic is in the air. It's Christmas time. Whoa. You can feel it everywhere

Well, you feel so right Whoa, whoa, and as we as we're hearing this, we are seeing shots from all around Los Angeles. We see Roe Deo Drive. We see the Christmas tree at the Grove. We see Fox Studios, which doesn't really make any sense. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I was confused by that too.

Like one of the least like scenic and visually appealing studios in Los Angeles, we're just showing Fox Studios. What about the Paramount Gate? Yeah. Like no, let's just show this generic facade. And just how many hours necessary? I think they had a draw, because then they

showed Century City, and I know because I used to work there in Malau, which is right by the Fox studio. So I think they just had a, because they did Beverly Hills as well. So I think they just, secretly like the directors like nephew knows how to do drone stuff for real estate. And they just had them fly around century city and get everything.

It was like the Westfield Fox thing. I guess we're gonna put it in the movie. Yeah. Don't have a lot of data store. Well, that was basic, but I know that any, it's just a parking garage of the Grove. They're like, do it. I think you think it's Christmas lights,

but it's just the lights on which parking spots are available. Ah! They are red and green. They are. That place scares the shit out of me. That just feels like squid game to me. The grove. The red and green lights.

Sentry city. Sentry city. Sent red and green lights when I think it's centuries anymore. Oh, century city. Yeah. Oh, that's my favorite mall. Well, this made any other person excited from this era because the real thing we see at the beginning is Lonnie Anderson.

Morgan Fairchild, Linda Gray, Donna Mills, Nicolette Sheridan. I was like, oh my god, that's gonna be amazing. Like 12-year-old Ronnie was like, yes, that. I was very excited. Mother. Yeah. Can I ask a question, just who is this movie for? Is it people who are just, is it for us?

It's for Morgan Beach, child, actually. It's for us. I think it was for us, but it was neutered before it was delivered to us. Right. Hey gay people, this is what you're supposed to be like now. You're supposed to be this tame now. You guys have had, you had your 80s, you're snapping and you're head rolling and you're sassy and s and guess what?

It's 2023. And now you don't get that anymore. So enjoy your fucking gift. Am I saying? Are you fucking? And now you don't get that anymore. So enjoy your fucking gift and I say people in nursing homes It's for people who enjoy movies with light to no conflict and very few stakes and No citer they want the citer scenes. Yeah, you want to see your old friends You know like the people that you love and I did I mean when I saw even their name was oh think oh my god

But and I'd love seeing them through the whole thing like I feel even bad saying that it's bad because like I love all those ladies who are you to? You know, I just didn't they just didn't give me what I wanted I'm happy. They're working. It was good to see you know But sometimes it reminded me of Jake and I Once who was in it poodle we went to go see a stage production of a show called legends. Oh my god It was um uh linda Evans and Joan um College junk allowance was elder and was elder in it No, the play was so bad. So like based on an older play like from the thirties

Well, then they then they read, they read it. And but there it was so bad that they, they delivered the dialogue. And like it was kind of a like offensive. They take out the racial joke. Like there were like Asian joke. Like they didn't take it out. Oh, but like it was so bad and it wasn't funny.

It was very, it reminded me of this. You're exactly right. Yeah. Because the camp wasn't really there. They just played the camp. We left an intermission and went and got drunk. Then Linda Evans, Linda Evans just could not stand up. John Collins had some really good line deliveries.

She's a good one. Linda Evans just could not compete. There was no sure that it was halting to when she spoke. So we're pretty sure Linda Evans had a feed in her ear. Yeah, like feeding your arm. Anyway, it reminded me of that because that toured around the country. And when we went to see that show, it was, been with saying, I think it's a say once it was older people who wanted the nostalgia gay men gay men and then like a few queer deers who were obsessed with gay men.

And I like that. That was a very 20. It flies. That's why I got queer deers. I just love the idea of Linda Evans on like a live feed someone. Who is the poor person or has the be the best to read and

in the line. Okay. Hey, Charlie and Charlie tell everyone what you've been doing. I read Linda Evans lies to Paul. It was this like this ghost, this white ghost floating. Blonde ghost just floating around the stage. It was her hair. Her hair was a theory. It was beautiful. It was insane.

I would have liked it for Joan Van Arct also, but in that play, that would have been a good combination. Linda Evans does have that kind of hair. It's just so golden, but it also is like static-ling hair. You know, the commercials with static-ling were, it's just kind of like, it's kind of like floating above the actual hairline and all the, and it's always backlit. So I can imagine that they probably have like a special

gay just with a flashlight behind Linda just to make that static cling hair. She looked otherworldly. Yeah. He would, he would do that during the night. And then on his off nights, he'd work at the sex theater and run the cinema there. Little, little known fact, Linda Evans is the creative inspiration behind the legend of Zelda.

Oh, that actually makes this, I know. Could you imagine? God, she is like Zelda. So yes, that's why they keep kidnapping Zelda. They're like, oh my god, you guys Zelda cannot remember her lines. Okay, kid now, perth and beginning and we'll just get back to the video game. Okay, so I should never speak also this movie.

The you're right that there was no location budget. Like it was weird how every, every scene with an outside person was via FaceTime. Yeah, I'm glad you brought this up. I'm really glad you brought this up because I meant to mention this in the preamble episode, which is that this all took place in one house. It was like a bottle episode of a TV show.

It was like literally just in a house. Everything that needed to happen was in the house. They filmed this in three days. I fuck you not. I bet it was filmed in like three or four. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Which is why they didn't have chances to do retakes on some of the horrific line readings. And one whole day was just like massages for cast and crew.

One whole day was styling Lonnie Anderson's wigs. Oh, we're going to go to a whole day. It was just contouring Donna Mills. They were like, you know, we're going to take our, we're going to really take our time with this and bring in the heavy makeup. Okay, so now we're here we are at the beginning. Okay, so they're blowing smoke in this like Malibu mansion because, oh my God, it's all late.

It doesn't snow there, it's so good. So the young Aussie guys, like we need winter snow, yeah. Like think winter in the middle of Michigan, yeah. Are we gonna do that? Yeah, yeah. And we're standing on the snow hose. Yeah, because the snow goes away. It's like, where did it go? He's like a standing on it. And he keeps saying, I think what really, and you know, usually with these movies, you get expositional dialogue for like the first 10. Oh my God. The exposal dialogue lasted like the first 45 minutes of this

movie. There was a lot because he's like I'm a protost and it's all on the dawn and we need I wish he would have been like just cussing like really got gross like we need mud a fucking snow like just really. Yeah. They tried to make him like that. That's a big. What if he was the scrooge and didn't really believe in Christmas. And then all of these old women got him to believe in. Yes. No, he needs to get with the woman. That's the most important thing because it's lifetime.

So he needs to get with the woman because that's God's plan. Well, but also like they were trying to make him like a fussy, a fussy director, you know, cause he's like, I don't like this tree. He's like, well, I'm just trying, I'm just an off-hand. If it maybe we move it a little bit, and then the PAs are like spraying him with snow, which by the way, you're fired. That is your writer and producer.

You don't spray your spray, you don't spray him with your fake snow. It's just not still for Dollar City where you can mock your boss. Yeah, and then there's like a manly patinkin type inside who's trying to like do the set decoration. That was that was breakdown. Uh, bear me, he's like finishing the heart. Oh, finishing the heart and light on the light.

Uh, did you notice though how every crew person was, which is, which is a common, but almost an older trope for movies about movies was portrayed as an absolute troll. Like the one, like the grip was like, yeah, I don't care. I'm just here because they just take me out of a box and I just Left time to just have Yeah, next your life time should just have like ladies of the 80s a very below the line Christmas or something Grips and best boys and like what's weird is this is if he is the the Sorry, make sure I get his title correct writer producer if he's the writer producer these are all like his best people first of all there's not a lot of staff on this film or TV show

no that I could say there's no set dressers there's no it seems like he's doing all this himself yeah and and he is not even a lighting crew as far as we can. No, by the way. He is dressed like a studio executive, not a writer producer. He should have like a met life windbreaker that he dressed down and should be have a hat on that he borrowed from a member of the crew because Andrew Palachews and new balances.

He is a true writer producer, will also be probably wearing a cap that says something like USC film school or something like that. Or like a t-shirt from a different show, like a t-shirt that says like Becker on it, you know. With the WTA pin. A pen. Naked truth, okay. And so. Yeah. So he's, he's, he's just yelling. Brother D. Thesters.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's the sheriff. So. Oh, I love that show. Rest in peace. Rest in peace, who's Anne Summers.

So the Brits are careful, everyone. Careful. This is a rental property. You can't be dropping ornaments, Mandy Bitingkin. Unfortunately, careful. This is a rental property. You can't be dropping ornaments, Mandy Bitingen, unfortunately, the network budget does, I'm not a buy salary. Unfortunately, the net, the network budget

doesn't allow us to pay for damages and it all comes out of my salary. And as a writer and producer, it's not much. Remember, I'm a writer and producer. As a multi-highfinite writer, producer, I'm almost a predator but i don't have the editor section yet

now and then and then they have actually not Chris Evans brother but hot Scott Evans uh... actually hot Scott Evans who's doing his the hosting this is actually i do really think he was one of the like besides like besides the women he was one of the better like besides the women, he was one of the better actors in the movie. Like, because he was just being a host. So we didn't have to act. I was confused about his motivation, though,

through the entire, like, what was he, was he supposed to try to steal her? Well, they like decided to make him a villain out of nowhere. Like, he's just the one delivering information for us. He's the Greek chorus and all of a sudden, we actually are like, I hate not liking him. And then the turn happens. all of a sudden, we actually are like supposed to be like, not like him. And then the turn happens.

I was very confused. I don't think they're like, she needs 11 tries, but they're like, we can't cast anybody else and we can't get anybody else over FaceTime. So what are we gonna do? I can talk. Who else is Alex Moppus to gay?

Yeah, Alex Moppus in it. That was crazy to see him. And he was so, well, look at him. He's coming up in hour four of this podcast. Coming up. So he's like this and this exposition cracks me out too, because he's like, cancel long time popular soap opera, Great Lakes is getting a reprieve known for its annual family

you'll time episodes. They're going to air one night to show us beautiful moments like everything he said was like and now it's Christmas time and we're having a Christmas movie with five ladies of the eighties long. We were in a soap opera together, they slapped each other a lot, let's watch ladies slap each other there from a soap opera. That was like a montage was funny. This was, this is what I actually, so when this montage happened, I really did think we were gonna get something campy

like that TV, TV, I mentioned, like based on an untrue story. So we see Lonnie Anderson go, how dare you? And she slapped someone. And then we see Linda Gray say, how could you? And she slapped someone.

And then we see Morgan Fairchild in front of like two people. And she goes, go to hell. And she slapped one person. And then she laughs Morgan Fairchild in front of like two people and she goes go to hell and she slapped one person And then she laughs and she goes and you two And I like legitimately laughed I like I like a bowl like there was no Yeah, there was no way it's gonna be not I think that was the only time I

Legit at the movie. I think I laughed at The movie I legit left at the movie. I think I left at the movie. I did laugh and we'll talk to it, but we did. Well, it's right after that when Morgan is talking to Alec Mapa, her agent. And when she does say, what is she doing monkey glands? That made me laugh. Like, you can.

Is that a thing? I mean, listen, I was like, whatever they're doing. I mean, where are they? Can we do that? Is that a thing you mean listening i was like whatever they're doing i mean where are they can we do that is that a thing you can be because i'm going to be both i will i'll do it i'll do it all it feels illegal which which intrigues me so that's how you know it's good come on did you like did you like the a i joke the very timely, uh, I actually did. He went, next up will be, next up will be, uh, the, the, the creators of an AI Christmas. That made me laugh too. Seeing, yes, actually, yes.

And so I thought after the slapping and the AI Christmas thing, I was like, this is gonna be a funny movie. Yeah, all the, all the, all the, it would have been if it did or seemed like this entire movie was written by chat GPT. They're just like, okay. But so popular ladies at a Christmas, they're like, I'm a so popular lady at a Christmas. I was like, come on guys.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crappin' commercial. It's almost that magical time of year. Speaking of, what's your favorite Christmas story, Ben? Hands down, the Grinch. Same. It cracks me up that he hates all the marimons. Right, and he steals everyone's presents.

But then it's like so heartwarming at the end when the whole town is still singing and he realizes that there's more Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know, it hits me right in the fields. Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring The Grinch, and I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it, Ronnie. Hi, it's me, the Grand Puba of Bahamba, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondery, Tis the Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of Ruvil to use my situation as a teachable movement.

So join me, the Grinch! Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So by the way, the key thing that we did learn from all this

is that this show, the Great Lake, is now streaming only and it's gonna be ending and they're gonna have like one final live Christmas show, which for some reason in the history of soap operas in movies and TV, like soaps within the show you're watching, they love these like live soap opera episodes, which I don't believe has ever happened

in the history of soap operas since the 1950s, right? Like this does not happen on soap opera episodes, which I don't believe has ever happened in the history of soap opera since the 1950s, right? Like this does not happen on soap operas. There are no such thing as live soap opera episodes, but like you watched it when I was a kid. You watched soap dish. Did it? I don't know. Pluto watched days of our lives a lot. I don't know. I watched days. Look at Laura. It was look at Laura live. They're wedding. I don't think no. Everything was taped. Everything I believe. I'm not a, I'm not

a, that's Luke Larva's general hospital, right? I'm not sure. I think it's soap, soap operas are such a filmed medium or such in the can, we'll edit it, we'll do this. I can imagine live is something that happens. Yeah. I just feel like every movie that's about a soap opera, it always comes down to we're going to do a live episode. I'm like, this doesn't really happen, but I'm for it. Like, it's fun, why not? To clarify, it seems like you said something and I was confused about this the whole time. It seems like the show's been done a while, and they were going to air one last episode

or had it been running. What doesn't really make sense because they're saying. It doesn't. The show has been canceled, but they're gonna have one live episode, but then they act like they've ever seen each other in 20 years. It sounds like it was canceled,

but there was no closure on the storylines. Right. Let's have one last live show to wrap things up. I didn't even realize that until you said it. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. Yeah, I haven't seen each other in years. The show's still running. Yeah, that's so fun.

And it's being talked about on Hollywood tonight, which is America's most trusted news source. You know, but honestly, I was definitely very excited when they brought back Twin Peaks. I was like, finally, we'll get some closure on the show, which didn't exactly happen, but like I can kind of understand. I'm gonna get all the closure, but yeah. If someone said, look, we're doing one last episode of Sisters and it's gonna be live. Just to tie things up. I'm like, holy God.

I would be there in a second. Oh, in a second. Oh, in a second. Sisters. Sisters. I love it. I love it. It was a game.

It wasn't gay enough. The one that is from a christian's man, another gay christian's man. One of the crazy stories in my life is when Seela Ward came into Sephora when I worked at Sephora to get molten brown body wash and Talked you remember what she got. Yes, and she talked to me for 20 minutes, and it was I Talk about lack of Sephora helper and patient I feel like you kept grabbing on to her even though she Did you emerge in like a white towel pretending you were in this team room with her?

Just gossipy at the top of the episode. You're like, see the word smelled so good in my trunk. She did. So good in my gut. I'm glad you brought that up because Sissy's, that's what we call our listeners. Sissy's have told me, or your Gerald Deans have told me many times, are like,

you need to talk to Ben about sisters because I'll bring it up on the pod So I'm glad you brought it up. We it's both of us not just as a as a as a young gay boy I watched sisters more than Anyone had a right to and by the way, how loved it and I was very as NBC by the way nurse it will nurses was like the But I love it. It's what got you. It's what got you to sisters.

But like, by the way, how funny was NBC on Saturdays that they said they're like, okay, well, this time slot, we used to air Hunter. Let's put sisters in it instead. Like, the violence of a cop show will easily milled with that demo. Yeah, with Julian Phillips talking to Seal Award about Suzy Gritz.

I don't think you can stream it anywhere too. It's like a forgotten show. It's time to get that show back. And let me tell you, I actually pretended to be into sisters in the 80s only for Ben, because that show I did And they came on after something and I was like I don't want to watch that like I've got my own sister like why would I watch this? I could just watch her you know, but

Man I don't know when Travis ran away and it like yeah I'm that family maybe you do you have a For years I've been like yeah sisters guys I love sisters and then so it's like you know what fuck this? I'm not gonna pretend like sisters anymore I'm coming out of the closet now, but I do love I love Suzy and C love from different things What a dark secret you just revealed A bigger secret than anything that aired on this show on this show. I think, yeah. A bigger reason.

A bigger reason, not the big. Then that, like, when you're, when you're cared for, main plotline spoiler alert, is that they're, they love junk food, junk food, and that is their biggest problem in life. See, that's where I feel like that was a definite lifetime executive note as well. We all need some kind of healing for all of the women. And we'll get there. We'll get there. So I'm jumping back

You know they all had their own personality quirks and like that was her thing is that she's like a healthy group Well, like Quirk she's like a health food guru, but she's really likes food. Then that's fine But she had no but but there was no She had no relationships with the other women that that was no there no inter-character relationship between anyone except for two of the characters that was like of concern. And it was still odd. So more okay, so. And I still, Well, so more, Oh, sorry.

And that reveal, like hit me like like a stinky fish across my face. So we're going to talk about that near the end, because I'm still young. But it wasn't a lie. that so we're gonna talk about that near the end. Because I'm still young. Yes, that's true. The news guy is like, yeah, that last scene we just saw people slapping really packed a punch, which makes plain why one lady is refusing to return after a huge blowout with her co-star. Thank you for the exposition.

I will be making out possibly with somebody later. Because I'm the only one that got. So I will be giving a menacing fist bump We'll be making out possibly with somebody later. Because I'm the only one that got. I will be giving a menacing fist bump to someone's lapel later on in this movie. Stay tuned. I enjoyed that. So we're like, who is mad at each other?

Who's it gonna be? So now we go to Morgan Fairchild FaceTime with Alec Mapa, which by the way, is a great way to set up a scene. Like I love that log line for a scene. And she's sitting there in the car and she's's like well, why couldn't we film in New York where we shot the series at which felt like This was this was actually exposition for something that didn't have no We never

That like I think the idea is that she hates Los Angeles Which has no bearing on anything Morgan Fairchild is the most Los Angeles looking has no bearing on anything. Morgan Fairchild is the most Los Angeles looking of all of them. And she talks about it doesn't feel like Christmas. It's too sunny which then just goes to show if it end up snowing in LA at Christmas then more like it would. Right, like you feel like that's what they're setting up. Yes. Right. So Alec Moppa is playing the only role any of us would play in this, which is the gay. Yeah, this is assistant or agent or whatever. I just want you to hear more gay people.

I love Alec Moppo. Good for her. Yeah, me too. Yes. Yeah, I'm not just saying Alec. I'm just saying like this is like, of course, any of us in a movie made for the gays are like, we will only have one gay. And he will be someone's gay assistant

will be a couple of miles on okay he literally has bells on he does doesn't feel like the person who's jumping around in a one z and he's like no alphirs it felt like this was some type of house boy it's like a word so i my pressure was that he was the agent and that this was, yeah, this was some sort of strange boy toy that the agent had, which I felt was also bizarre. It was totally strange.

Yeah, he's gonna do coke off that pinball machine, that guy. Yes, also. I want to say to Ronnie's point that Alec Mapa literally had bells on. This movie, the reason why there was no snow at the end of this movie is because I think they splurged their budget on the Foley person because every time Alec Mapa moved his head, they would put in the bell noises. They were aggressive. They were aggressive.

They were aggressive. They were. They were actual bells, you guys. I think Alec Mapa was like, this script sucks and I'm shooting this from home on my iPhone. So I'm going to make it fun. We're having the Christmas party at my house. I have rainbow ears with bells on them. And there's a twink jumping around in the suit

just to co-op off his ass. OK, this is the day. But there will be no folie. This will be like fattation, the color purple. It will be sung live to tip. The holiday party he was having looked like I didn't see anyone but him and this twink. So it just looked like there was a couple or other, there are four other guys and like the clothes. We've all been to that holiday party.

Yeah. We're probably throwing it these days. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, he's like, well, what would the finale be like without you? You're the stepmother of the lake sisters. She goes stepmother, please, I look as young as they do. Maybe not Dana. What is she doing? Monkey lands at which point Matt laughed. I did. By the way, I to make Morgan Fairchild the mom.

That's cheap. That's funny. I think that's funny. And I feel like Morgan insisted that they add in the line where she says, I look as young as they do. Yeah, Bob. In case people thought she was older. Yeah, I, I, and that feels very so far. And I actually wrote, wow, Morgan's pretty good in this. Like she's, please, she's holding, I mean, feels very so far and I actually wrote wow Morgan's pretty good in this like she's Please she's hold I mean she's holding that movie she was in I mean at one point. I think later on like Lonnie Anderson is FaceTiming now looking her phones completely upside down First time yeah, so like I think she's doing great and then she makes for the gaze again I'm leading in she makes a patty lapone joke yes I would I would I want a third Tony too if it wasn't

for patty lapone change she was gonna retire that could be good patty lapone in here so like sister. Nobody sisters like me. Thanks. I'm not. But Andy and Patty, like, I'm like, I feel like we're starting to be edge tier and I'm into this. Like I'm very excited for this. But not completely. Having you on the end of insanity. So then Alec is like, listen, you're more than just a stepmother.

You're the center of the series, the very foundation. And then he turns to this like houseboy and he goes, I love the ears, but you need to make them less pointy and more elfies. What is the note for? What is like, what, what, do you get everything you want at home? It is very strange. It's very houseboy for me guys Can I just take a moment and apologize to Matt? I'm so sorry for not letting you finish a sentence because you said the word I'm gonna follow and then look what happens to me. I can't you can't say the round thing

I Round band you can't do that there's dirt trigger words Jake if I say the word like Monica he starts singing up like we're used to this. So it's for you to. It's gay. It's gay. D and it's an affliction that we were all born with. Yes.

Thank you. I can't like if someone mentions any type of obscure Broadway show I have to sing the rest of it. Oh, yeah. It's good for you. Yeah. Baby, baby. I don't know why that came to me. Okay, let's go on. So Morgan, so more the stepmother, the leg,

go ahead and take it away. It's funny. Morgan's holding the phone and she's sorry, I'm going to get my phone because I want to, yeah, and she's like, yes. And they haven't heard about my situation. It's a situation. And I don't know about y'all, but when someone said heard about my situation. It's a situation.

I don't know about y'all, but when someone said situation back in the day, that meant they're pregnant. And I went, are they going to try to tell us? That's what that usually means. Right. We're talking about the words. I'm in the family way. So she's saying, so what we've learned is that she had five Emmys, she's actually earned

five Emmys and two Tonies. Yes, yes, exactly. She has two Tonies. So she's actually a very acclaimed actress who has to come crawling back to this like one time, like, you know, this streaming moment here. And but no one knows about her situation, which we're gonna find out later what that is. It's like a squash. It's like a squash.

It's like a squash the internet. Don't worry about it. There's no more internet now, okay? I've had a resort to paying people to act out my favorite porn scenes. Do it in the reindeer ears. Do it in the reindeer. By the way, one thing I have to say

I'm really grateful for this movie for something that they got right is like we are Tempted to refer to these women by their act like the actresses names like we want to say Morgan and Donna and Linda and Lonnie and conveniently they the writer gave them all names that are just like like slight slight differences like Morgan is Margot Yes, Lily Linda is Lauren Donna Dana, and Nicolette is Juliet. So I am really grateful for that. I never use those names. I only use the actresses names. I'm not going through all that. I use actresses names. It's Lone. I'm a pure.

I really like to honor the creative vision of this of this movie. Well, Ben's a writer. So, you know, you would honor that yes Yeah, uh, okay, we're at the Next note is wait, is this Morgan Fairchild to know it's Donna Mills because oh my god These long ladies, do you know what? Donna Mills looks just like Kristen Chenoweth, doesn't she? Oh a lot of ladies do you know what donna mills looks just like christian chinwiz doesn't she all with the eyes christian chinwiz no no the other broadway actress who's a famous uh... sitcom actress now blonde hair she was in nine she was in she was on the rock

uh... janker kowski janker kowski she looks like i'm janker kowski i'm sure yeah i don't know if you've written this I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski.

I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski.

I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrickowski. I love Jingrick and, uh, and, uh, and, or this is what Ashley was always on that show making really

wrong. Books, and I thoroughly enjoyed the show evening shade. And I remember asking my mother, who is that woman? And she's like, I don't know what time. Elizabeth Ashley, I, she was blah, blah, blah. And I was like, why am I so in love with her? And then I realized, like, she'd done'd done all this like theater and stuff like that now I'm still obsessed with loses Ashley. Yeah

She's a real that that's that is the name of not thought up in a very long time. Elizabeth Ashley Yeah, I think about I think about her weekly She's that is my home empire. She's your home. Yeah, I was actually Elizabeth Ashley character actresses in general from your Roman Empire? Elizabeth Ashley, Elizabeth Ashley, character actresses in general are my Roman Empire. What are your Roman Empire? What are your Roman Empire? What endowed Roman Empire?

I mean, not Roman Empire. Roman Empire is mean. I see that meme all over. This is where I'm gonna just be like, you know, the old queen here, but what, well, I don't even know what it means. So, there's a TikTok. What's in the Roman Empire?

It was an article. It was an article. That's a man. It's a TikTok meme that it showed women asking their boyfriends or husbands how often they thought about the Roman Empire and shockingly enough, all these guys are saying, oh, I think about it. I asked my brother, my brother even asked you sooner. My brother even said, when I asked my brother, he's like, what do you ask that?

I think about it a times a week so now the kind of like what is your Roman empire so I have to Dan oh oh Linda Dano and attitudes yeah that's my that's my that's my that's what is your Roman Empire I mean it's also like character actresses character actresses are you surees are just for me. Like I think of just like, or just like obscure actresses. Like I just love, I will often just have like little scenes in my head where I like name drop a random actress where I will say something like,

oh, I just ran into Susie Kurtz at Sprouts, you know? And I'm like, I'm telling like I'm saying that to someone. Yeah. And I'm always like, I got to write that down. I'm in corporate shares with Smats someday. My, I would say probably this is so weird. I used to love this show. And it was like a Canadian show, but they aired it on like kid, there's a show, a kid's show called Today Special where there was like this gay mannequin who put on a hat.

today special where there was like this gay mannequin who put on a hat, that abracadabra, Alec Apocas, and like he be here, and he just, and that it's so gay that he would come alive at night with this beautiful, black woman who worked in the department store and they would just decorate the department store all night with a mump at mouse. And I think about that show weekly. You asked, you asked, you asked, I never knew with that man. I'm so glad I have other people to ask because I think I can ask it on the internet because people are like, a shit, I just die, I'm an idiot, I can't know that you sold. Oh, okay, so Donna Mills is talking to her daughter and they really need to make even the

apparently the daughter thinks the ex-missions of the daughter were like, well, mom, you did adopt like five kids from, what did she say? Like war torn country. War torn country. And by the way, this was Donna Mills' actual adoptive daughter. I looked this up, this is really. No, really.

And it was Chloe Mills, this is Donna's adoptive daughter.. So I mean great. It's a real insidery kind of movie You know, yeah, so she's like come on the world yeah What they use Chris for act and the same kind of it is your right. It's inside a recasting wise Yeah, so they just got anybody who is near. I mean we're lucky. It wasn't like the crossing guard Who can you get on the phone? So they just got anybody who was near. I mean, we're lucky it wasn't like the crossing guard. Who can get on the phone? Donna Mills. Who can you get on the phone?

No. Donna Mills, who do you know? So yeah, so the daughter's like, you know, Linda's, I'm sorry, I thought this was Linda Evans at first, not Donna Mills. I actually don't have a very strong frame of reference for Donna Mills. It's just like I don't know the name.

And I'm just like, I'm like, as she related to the cereal. I'm not sure but she was She's in a lot of lifetime movies She's we did she play twins in a in an old version of the parents rap because Hayley Mills now that's right. You know what? That's really nice. I'm joy it. I'm really happy. Hayley Mills is part of my growing empire too I think about her a lot. I love how poodles never seen summer magic. Okay, you only get one of those.

That's really good one. I read her biography and it's fantastic. So she was in knots landing. So that's what she's like, I think she's like, and again, I hate saying this guys, but I was too young for that. Because when that came on my parents like, no, Nino or Falcon Crust, I didn't feel like

I'm like, I don't see those. Yeah, I think we were too young or something. Like we were a lot more. Well, we were too young. I only got to see them because, and maybe Ronnie, because we're you grew up, but I don't know if it was for Jake and Ben, but because we were so close to Dallas in Oklahoma, everybody watched Dallas. Like Dallas was, I mean, everybody did watch Dallas, but it was such a huge thing. Like families would watch it. So literally, it's like all the way to another on Friday night, they would

come over and we watch Dallas. And I remember they'd watched Dallas episode and then there are like my Aunt Peggy and Aunt Darla, they're all going to leave, but they're still kind of chatting and talking, but they would leave the TV on, and that's because Falconcrest would come on after Dallas, and then I would point out. I remember that Congrats and be like, what is this show?

I want to be on this show with a rich, and they live someplace besides Texas and Oklahoma. Yeah, and I missed all those nighttime soaps, because as a kid, I just was watching the sitcoms and stuff. I wasn't interested in any of the hour long shows. Literally the only hour long show I would watch was Hunter because it was basically after Golden Girls. The, I would, my mother, when my mother would be tired

of her children, I would get sent to my grandmother's house. And we would, my grandmother would have, this were usually fratis or Saturday nights and My grandmother would have stofers French bread pizzas and we would watch we would watch Dallas And I would usually fall asleep by the time Falcon crest Happened but my my grandmother would tell me all of the people who were sleeping with people on Dallas That's her daughter and that's this person's daughter. He's mean, but she's been sleeping with him in the background and my mother hated it. She's like, what's your

way to change? Watch it. Always trashy trashy soaps with you. That your grandma got you into days of our lives too, right? Yes. Oh, that's me too. I used to skip school and walk down the street to my city's house, my grandmother, and she would be with her two sisters and they would do playing cards all day. And I would go, I skipped PE, I would refuse to go to PE,

and that was right before lunch. So I would walk. But you're such an athlete. I know, right? Who would have known? So I left and walked down the ditch to their house, and we would watch days of our lives and another world every day.

And then I started skipping the after lunch period because sunset beach came on for a while. I kinda watched that one teach. That explains Linda Dano, because the underworld didn't. I didn't. Yeah, she can cry. I mean, Linda Dano can cry literally

at the drop of the hat. And she would show it every day. Yeah, Felicia Galant. She would just be, and those big earrings, she'd have earrings almost big. And they'd be like, mom, I've been arrested. Shrik, oh! Oh!

Just sobbing, that scarier coming down her face, I'm a god. And she had gay friends, like literally all her friends were gay on that show. They were cutting her cast, her husband, or boyfriend, or whatever. Ivaan. It's okay at the time, right? Did me.

I really didn't get into anything soapy until it was like 1990 when Twin Peaks came out. And I remember on TGIF, for some reason, instead of having a sitcom, at the end of the lineup at 930, they did a half hour, hey, if you're not watching Twin Peaks, this is what's happened so far. And they said, there's this person and this person, they're in love, but then there's this person and that person. And I never knew shows could be intertwined like that.

And I was fascinated. I loved it. I was so happy for you. It's not like a soap opera in the same way, but like that was my first time really being like, oh my god, and then I felt sad that I missed this entire like hey day of these prime time so it's

like dynasty, you know. That show was so ahead of its time and there's so many shows that are trying to be Twin Peaks now and that show was in the fucking 90s. Well, we had to keep talking about this show or other things. Yeah. Yes. Why didn't they bring the log lady? Actually RIP, she died too.

She died recently. Yeah, so Donna Mills is talking to her adopt a daughter and she's like, she's apprehensive that she's gonna see this person that she's been feuding with. And her daughter is like, mom, like no one cares about your silly squabble. It's ancient history, you know? And she's like, no, it was about your silly squabble. It's ancient history, you know, and she's like,

no, it was more than a squabble. And she goes, listen, I've seen the Barbara Walters interview a million times mom. So this was a big enough feud that it made it to Barbara Walters. These women were superstars that they're making them sound like. And then she says,

whenever we go, which we still don't know, you can know how long it's five minutes ago or 25 years ago. Well, she references it by, we know what time it was in time because she's and I even sent her a card for why 2k. That's right. And we had a why 2k reference? That's this conflict and time. Current references on one. And so then she's like, she did respond. She didn't respond. It's like our email stopped working. Then the bank saw us went dark because nobody knew what's on the air. 2000 hit. No one programmed 2000 hit on clock. Gosh, it was a big one.

Come on, mom. You're America's sweetheart from a hit sitcom who in real life adopted five children from war-torn countries. You're practically mother Teresa. Is there any other information like me to impart on this television from home? I mean, this mother Teresa. We should pitch that to the lifetime.

Ding-ding. That's when I kind of threw my remote. And I went, no, please don't do this. Yeah. So now we have, then it goes to Nicolette Sheridan, who's with her son in Sunson. Our twink sun. Oh my god, this guy. Wow. What a guy.. But he's in like a miracle. He's in like a suit that looks like he's about to sell a car. It's really, and like, he's in almost like casual clothes. Look at this actor. And they're in a set. So we're like, these are the only two that are not doing face time.

And the sun is smartly. So we think, okay, this is the sun that we're going to be doing. And we're going to be doing face time. And we're going to be doing face time. And we're going to are the only two that are not these are the only two that are not doing face time and the son is Smartly so we think okay. This is the son's gonna be the villain and As the as this show goes on you think that like okay the son is gonna come to the house and come yeah drama Maybe steal my girl human trafficking is there for the scene. Yeah, never really see him again I mean they make you think God this guy's gonna be packing you know packing people in boxes and then naming them couches and then

Shipping to them from the way fair side That's a cute guy to say it. Did you see what was on the computer screens? It was things like from the graphics department. Well, I don't know if there was a graphics department But it was things like quarterly earnings 35% 25 there was nothing else EBSM EBSM EBSM EBSM Yeah, his name was dividends is Lane Lane Heron That's definitely a game. He's from Mississippi

Hot, that's all you need to know. Yeah, I got out of there. I'm like, oh, no, you've got a lot of S's in your name. Get over here. First father was a con man and that's how he learned to be an actor. Anyway, that's another story. Oh, yeah, I'll get the ads too much. It's first father. Yes. I don't know. I don't understand. Anyway, where are you looking at this? I love this busy bottled busy busy body Google set Or well his first daddy was a calm man. It was a calm man and gave his mama syphilis twice Second was a poker dealer who taught him the unfraction poker face and ultimate focus Okay, so this for a nickel, let's, um, exposition.

She's like, listen, I am not friends with her anymore. And I don't have anything to say about it, but we started together. She was like a sister to me. We were roommates. And then do you know what she did? This, like a wow. During the Y2K crisis, do you know what she did this? Wow. During the Y2K crisis do you know what she did? And then in the very last day of 1999. I'm finally gonna call. Oh I can't believe I have to retread this all during these quarterly earnings and dividends moments. Sivit, yes. Uh, so they're big fight that has even been discussed

on Barbara Walters is that Morgan Fairchild moved out of town and then ghosted Nicolette. And that's it. No, it can't be that it needs to be something more. No, it's Donna Mills, right? It's Donna Mills. It's Donna Mills. Donna Mills, ghosted it.

Yeah, there need to be like real fucked up shit because. Well, there is actually. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that.

Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that.

Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. Well, there is actually nothing like that. like, well, I'm glad to see you're all beyond that mother. Thanks for telling me the story of the 51st time. As you help us get the screw over today. Because well, just because you're my son doesn't mean I won't fire you. And then we hear the sound like, oh, Rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-rewr-rewr-r-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-r-rewr-rewr-r-r-rewr-rewr-rewr-r-r Oh To random Japanese, but let's show that she's an international business woman

Yeah, she goes, can you want me to son? It's like oh, yeah, I know and I love that the ladies were like just looking at them like seriously You guys are making this shoot you guys are really making a shoot this on our iPhone really I think this was this was it was totally chat Really This was it was totally People on chat roulette he wound up on Nicolette And she improved that line couldn't you? I learned this from archery this movie was made

Made during COVID like they had a sequester people and like Teaking actually does recap. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. That is what it is. It does, but I just thought it was so funny. Like, I love when they like work in references to like current technology. Like, saved by the zoom.

But the sound effect is like this weird like, Casio keyboard thing's like, sounds like my zoom telephone call coming in. It's like, spring, spring. in Bring by the zoom like guys Oh There's that AI technology saving me again Well guys we got through the intro of the ladies and why they don't like each other So I think that's pretty good and next we're gonna get to the love interest in pot

There's a love story coming in pot three of this holiday. This is where I have the most questions. Alright, well let's get them. We will be back tomorrow with part three. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. If you want the video, come to our Patreon and by R, I mean any one of us. We've all gone. Any one of us.

We all got a one of us. We all got a fine and a fine one. Bye. You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.