Watch What Crappens - #2274 Holiday Crossover Event Part Four: Ladies of the 80’s with Reality Gays

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

*This is Part Four of a four-part recap!* For this year’s Holiday Movie Crossover Extravaganza with Matt and Poodle from The Reality Gays Podcast, we’re covering Lifetime’s ode to big haired blonde divas from our past, Ladies of the 80’s. To get the video versions, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in

the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb to find something you won't forget. Give yourself the gift of Coho and take some of the sting out of your holiday spending this season. Get instant cash back and earn up to 5% interest on your entire balance on Canada's highest rated financial app. Coho lets you earn cash back, earn high interest on your account, build your credit history, and so much more. You can also get 20 bucks off when you make your first purchase using the code daily still at 20. That's 20 bucks when you make your first purchase using the code daily

still at 20. Join over one million Canadians and sign up for your free trial now. Download the Koho app today or visit www.coho.ca for more details. Hello listeners, this is Mike Corey of Against the Odds. You might know that I adventure around the world while recording this podcast. And over the years, I've learned that where I stay when I travel can make all the difference. Airbnb has been my go-to place for finding the perfect accommodations. Because with hotels, you often don't have the luxury of extra space or privacy. Recently, I had a bunch of friends come down to visit in Mexico. We found

this large house and the place had a pool, a barbecue, a kitchen, and a great big living room to play cards, watch movies, and just chill out. It honestly made all the difference in the trip. It felt like we were all roommates again. The next time you're planning a trip, whether it's with friends, family, or yourself, check out Airbnb. To find something you won't forget. Welcome back, you guys. This is our fourth installment of fourth part of, we don't know how many parts of The watch what crap ends and reality gays holiday spectacular gay crap ends You're here if you're if you're still invested after this many episodes You're sick

You just need to need your family leave you alone It's true. If you didn't notice we are covering the acclaimed lifetime movie, holiday movie, ladies of the 80s, Colin had to use Christmas. Not a semi-colon. A full colon. Full colon. not a semi colon a full colon full colon uh this my name is Matt Marr for some of you are listening and with me I have Ronnie Karam say hello Ronnie hello hello then mandacle mandacle yeah Hi everyone man. Today please that's okay. It's what happens and then some

bitch that just walked in yeah I, in the A-Climed out of a dumpster. So I'm here. So great. So the story, here's the story so far, in case you're just joining us. Okay. There is a young man who is, he's gonna lose his house, his car, his everything.

If he's run out of chances in Hollywood, and he's gotta make this production work. And if it doesn doesn't he has to go back to where he came from and so he's the only thing the only rabbit he can pull out of his hat it's a reunite the four women that he used to work with as a child to put on some fabulous soap upper reunion and if this goes off of that hitch he can keep his house but the problem is their egos are so out of control and they are so such big divas that it's impossible to imagine that the show could ever go off and they're gonna need a Christmas miracle for it to work. That is the movie that this is supposed to be. I want to watch that movie. This is a movie of poor

ladies arriving at a mansion and you know having a lot of time reuniting. He kind of has a weird career as an actor, but this is his first time both writing and producing, it seems like. Yeah. And he hasn't acted in, what apparently, he says, what he's done half his life, which must have been as a child,

because he's maybe late 20s now. What do you think, actually? It's been five years, it's been five years since he acted because that's apparently when he was in school with the director now who has gone on since his son dance. He's late 20s. She's a very successful short filmmaker

now in Sundance. And I just, it does feel like you inflated the stakes and that movie would have been great. Would have been great. I'm inflating the stakes. We're inflating the stakes. And where we left off is the cartoon stakes that were inflated. The women are upset now. The women are upset.

There's been a glimmer of ego. we we we're yes, we're picking up they've all quick what would normally be the third act yes, and like Poodle we see the movie yes Like Poodle's apartment we see Lonnie Anderson sitting in front of a hat box having a conversation A full on a hat box that no I ever has to say this has to be part of her collection. She's got the hat. She's got the safari. I'm safari. She came from safari

in Borneo, even though, you know, Borneo's in Southeast Asia. I do know that Jake, when he is a woman, or thinks he's a woman in her mid-60s, he will travel with the hat box. Well, what else? Yeah, if you can't drag, can't drive a bunch of boxes, strange, also what's, I'm gonna need several hats that I wear based on mood. So I'm gonna need at least two to three.

Oh, I think you'd have hats in in that thought I would just hold your poppers That's true and just lots of lots of loo and Hat made of poppers You just just pick one off and just like what off So where we left off so so Lonnie Anderson was just complaining to her old friend who's working at the Gannesman Center, that she hasn't gotten an Emmy. That she hasn't gotten an Emmy. And then we go over to Nicholas Evelyn, who's calling her son, who's still in on the

same suit, and saying that, should we get a little insight on why she decided to change her mind? You decided that in the spirit of the holidays, she would let bygones be bygones, which feels a little flimsy, but that's what she did. And this sounds like, well, did you tell her that? This movie feels a little flimsy. Everything's a little flimsy, okay? A lot of flimsy things happening.

And Juliet's like, if she could leave me when I needed her the most, then how could I ever trust her with knowing that I'm letting bygones be bygones? I was so young, I was newly engaged, I should have been the happiest I ever was in my life and you know what she did? She stole that from me by not taking my phone call.

What was this? I had to enter the year 2000, I love it. Ah! Without any warnings. What was the con? So Donna is watching from her window, because Michael, that's like, I'm going to leave. I shall talk to you right outside of my car door until I officially do leave, because I don't know what I would talk to you while I drive in a car in 2023. So Morgan is standing above her, like looking down from the window, like, I can't believe she's on the phone.

It yeah. And then they do this weird, they, you tell the director was like, look, I've been wanting to do this shot forever. If you lean out the window, cameraman, and when she walks back through the window, you walk too and it's like we're walking through the wall It was such a weird camera shot in the midst like you don't see this in lifetime movies and you can tell a real author That's what took me out of this was that Yes, really that that's really something. So was it like a drone thing? Or was it like one of the, I don't know,

because I remember one time I was like, oh my God, this is amazing that they just put a drone shot in a real house. So I saw and people were messaging us, like you fucking moron, it's a drone, not a crane. Like wow, they got a crane shot in real outsize. I didn't understand. Don't you love it?

How listeners just don't suffer, Pete, us at all. Like they'll basically said, you guys didn't know this, but it's blah, blah, blah. Go fuck yourselves. Well, at some point it's just like listening. Like to me, it's like listening to your dad. So you remember that thing? What was it?

The show, when you're trying to hint to each other, that's 100%. I always say our show is like the worst game of $25,000 a pyramid ever. Cause he's saying, he's saying an actus, and I'm like, oh, is it so and so? And he's like, no, no, no, the one who did this. And it's wrong.

And somehow I get it, but it's just stressful. I don't get it. And I keep telling Ben, stop setting you up to look stupid. Stop asking me questions. I don't be like, no, the name of that live of airplane that they had in the 20s. Fuck you, Ben. I'm like, it's the drop of a block.

You have to play by plane by plane. So anyway, so Dana is over as Eve's dropping in on Nicolette Sheridan, who's having I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy.

I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy.

I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy. And the daughter, she sighs and the daughter is like, I know that sigh, you both are too proud

to have a real heart to heart. And then Don and I was like, oh really, we're gonna have a too proud to sigh heart to heart. I've never really heard of that specific sigh. Great show, which I would have been on it. She's like, did I was like, oh, sorry, I know it still sings.

40 years later that you didn't get to be on heart to heart. Oh, good. I'm sorry. I stepped on the heart to heart joke. I mean, what the hell am I thinking? It wasn't hour joke. It was the show's joke. But no, they made it effort. I just stepped all over it. I got it. But it's mostly this that that joke would have fit with women in their fifties and above. I didn't even get that joke and i'm i'm gay i'm so gay i'm so ready for this movie and i was like a heart-to-heart joke come on i actually created it Stephanie powers yeah it's hard to

hard to come to stream oh wait no it's uh... the one where there moon lighting with Bruce Willis i think oh god i'm gonna see a heart-to-heart show what was that what was a show. It was a show. That was a lot. No scarecrow and Mrs. King. So, oh my God. Okay, he was part of my sexual awakening.

I only saw the show once. I just think it's one of the other. Love that show. Who played a scarecrow, Mrs. King? Who was it? A K. he was his name uh... and the thing i don't know germany i'm

k-jaxson jackson love to her but i can't remember the guy's name it was he was a king anthony hopkins bruce boy god you guys i'm getting like a just said bruce box lighter come on you guys are literally giving my tongue more girth

It was wow it was Bruce Boxlite and John Eric Hexam from Voyagers that were part of my also part of my sexual awakening who he died Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Donna Mills. Donna Mills, awakening of sex. Donna Mills apparently has some real trauma about heart to heart, but it's okay because if she had gotten that role, she never would have been able to work with the errands spelling and sorkin.

So, again, a joke that I think it's like inside baseball at a baseball game. No one's watching, you know? Yeah. It's like it's a minor league baseball game. It's like, yeah, it is like they were like, they wanted to not only do they want to market this to movie to the gay gay men, but they also wanted to market it to the Beverly Hills Kiwanis Club. Yeah.

Like, yeah. Robert Wagner. Robert Wagner was the male in Heart to Heart. Right. Definitely Howard and I got so mad. I drove away in a teeny tiny little car wearing a fesad. So the daughter is like, she's like, mom, you have to stop Juliette before she leaves because you might not get this opportunity to ever apologize to or clear the air

with her ever again in your life. Why is it you leave the daughter so in five minutes and she goes out the window and stairs. Meanwhile, someone's in a spa and doesn't know how to turn it on. That's what I've decided. Linda Gray put down the text and she's like, how do these buttons work? But thank God she never got the spa going. Because you talk about, she's eating a five pack from Wienerschnitzel in there. She's not using a steamer. She's not doing a steamer.

She's just eating her fast food in the corner. So there's the sack. Licking, I'm using it. Licking, Crisco from her fingers. Just, yeah. So, Alex and Nell are talking and Alex is distraught because it's like, this is, everything is turned into a huge fiasco

and now it's my writing and producing career as an extra actor. That has never really started. Yes, and now it's like, oh no, but this is your baby. You're the one who convinced the network to film the special. Oh no. Something we don't know, Something we don't know and it might have been good to know that. And he's like, well, it's so easy to talk to you.

I forgot how easy it was. He goes, well, you could have called me, but you ghosted me. And I didn't have your phone number or any social media. He just said how easy it was to talk to you. And you're going to come at him. it was talked to you're gonna come at him that's like that you're ruining it but they had to explain why she never found out his mom died right now that's a mean that she didn't have it so alix is like so they're getting a text from publicist being like what you say that i think

i just made that go ahead and i'm sorry that the public is acting being like what's going on what's going on, what's going on? And he's like, okay, you know what, Nell, I owe you an explanation about why I go so do, but now is not the time. And then Nell's like, you're right. Cause all I know is that you are not letting the ladies of the 80s down. And yes, I'm gonna refer to them as that.

And if anything, they're letting you down, Mr. so arguing about a fight that happened a million years ago can you believe they would be doing that but they're still having a problem with things that went down six years ago and they won't talk about it it's layered by the way it's about to have a heart attack if that is really turned on linda because linda's listening to all this from the steam room now who the fuck is just standing in front of the steam room

Not making me because my son is his heart, and I don't want to have somebody suck my dick Only mats there unclogging his sinuses with We can also remember who said okay, hey I'm coming to this set to film a show. Oh no, we're all angry at each other Let me just rope and take a steam in the middle of the set. We figured this all out. Okay, Michael. Let's still up by her car Like I am quitting getting your armicle at Just just smoking So so this is called the mall together. Yes. Yeah, because they tried to create a this is where they tried to create a sticks

Which is like what do I do? Cancel the photo shoot? Tell the network that this isn't going to happen. What are we going to do? There's only one person who works in Hollywood publicity television and this is entire city. What are we going to disappoint him? We can't let Alex's can't and we can't let his career fail but there's this also this weird confluence that one of them also says these two belong together so not only do we have this is where i get confused not only do we have to make the movie but we also have to forcibly

bring these two together whether they want to or not. Yeah, you know, I know we've had 20 plus years of tension and issues and I may have slept with your husband or fiance. We'll get to that. But I think what's most important is there are two young people here who are decently attractive. So let's try to get them together. Thank you to Thus. So then Linda's either goes into the steam room. So Linda's in the steam room. So Morgan's talking to her and Linda's like, oh my God, you won't believe what I just heard. I just heard Alex, he's very upset

because we're going to ruin his movie. Linda, you didn't fucking know that before you went to the steam room. What do you think happens? Is this an economy in Linda? Yes, I know. You didn't fucking know that before you went to the steam room. What do you think happens? Is this an economy of Linda? Yeah, I know. You didn't rent a home. Jesus.

So she's like, I've been thinking and then of course, Lon is like, ladies, I think we're about to be roped into something, which was the name of my one woman play that did not receive a Tony of a machine. Then just something else. Linda's got on her puppy's aren't meat face. What is it, Linda? What? What? What?

What? What? I'm going to be funny. And Donna is like, I'm still paying for that rescue of baby elephant from the circus mission that we did caught how many years ago. We did. But it did it. As they all have charities and it's going gonna come back and a weird is fucking way ever

But I just want to say that the The rescue circus elephant rescue mission already has higher stakes in this movie. Yeah I was like now there's a plot I could get behind five ladies of the eighties rescuing baby elephants from circus love it I literally saw a movie but there's a movie called Operation Dumbo Drop with like the Murray. And I think Linda Fiorentino in fact. Oh boy, that career. I loved her and that career went nowhere.

She was like men in black and then Operation Dumbo Drop. Listen, she's an astronaut. And Dumbo, but he's a real ace of production. Was she nominated for last production? Oh, yeah, I have. No, she famously wasn't because it was released on hbo before theaters but actually she was i think nominated in the eighties for marnscore sezzy movies she was actually

significant yeah one of my friends lander no i i i i wasn't i didn't know anything after like men in black well apparently you did that's apparently apparently but i'm i'm a big I Laugh seduction's one of my favorite movies. I actually it's not wrong. Let's say movies the last seduction men and black Jade

Oh my god remember Jade with David Caruso. Yeah, yes Yeah, they were making David Caruso sexy. Everyone's like oh my god I can't and make it ginger's butt No, I just I. And make a ginger's butt. No. I just want to say that Operation Dumbo Drop, Linda Fjordino is not in that movie, the effect. Oh, there appears to be no woman in the movie.

I'm looking at the cast, it's all men. It's like Danny Glover, Ray Leota, Dennis Leary, Dougie Doug, and Corinne McHughan's Parker Lewis-Can-Lewis. Parker't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can't-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can-Lewis-Can who are both semi-blond and hot, and you know, fucking each other or something. Yeah, and they're actors. They're like, we're actresses. We can just act like we like one another. It'll be our greatest acting challenge. And that's where we get our love letters

reference from Lonnie Anderson, which was funny. It'll be our greatest acting challenge going, pretending to really like each other, instead of just actually, most of us actually really like each other Yeah, yeah, actually pretending we have some backstory that the movie never gave us I just want from having no tension to having a little bit less of no tension Remember that part we're sure for no reason. Let's just all join. Let's all unquit for no reason quit Go back. It's a great silent unquitting.

So then Lonnie, how once I've faked chemistry in a production of love letters with Rodney Dangerfield, I just had to give that line the proper credit because wow. Okay, so then Alex is still on hold with whoever he's been calling and now it's like you won't believe what the ladies are doing. I just went back to the same room for no reason. God of love. We're in the production office because if you weren't clear, someone just printed the words,

production office and put a full line on it. That was actually accurate because that's how production offices look. That's how they look. They do that. They print it out in that font and they put it on there. But that was the most. People it on there that in the house. Oh, I thought it was an office in an actual office.

I thought that was an office. It's supposed to be an office in the house. That was the office. It was writing shirtless in. Yes. They were all in this house because it was like the apocalypse was happening outside the house. That's what I thought.

But then I thought his. It's the only place that exists in the world. Like Alec Mapa and all everybody else, they're like in a special other, where everyone's saying. This is the bird box prequel. So the Nell is like, you're not gonna believe what the ladies are doing

and he goes quintuple homicide. I was like, well, now that would be an interesting twist. Yes, I enjoyed that part of it. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. It's almost that magical part of it. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. It's almost that magical time of year. Speaking of, what's your favorite Christmas story, Ben? Uh, hands down the Grinch.

Same! It cracks me up that he hates all the marimons. Right, and he steals everyone's presents. But then it's like so heartwarming at the end when the whole town is still singing and he realizes that there's more Christmas than just gifts. Oh, I know. It hits me right in the fields.

Best part is, Wondry has a new podcast starring the Grinch. And I think there's someone who wants to tell you more about it Ronnie Hi, it's me the Grand Puba of Bahambug the OG Green Grump the Grinch from Wondery Tis the Grint Holiday talk show is a pathetic attempt by the people of ruvil to use my situation as a teachable movement. So join me, the Grinch! Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids.

Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. a talk show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Finally, your pitch and so then the ladies are coming down and there's like electric guitars paying is like, NANANANANANANAN started to hold hands. The power of five ladies from I said I said the power of five women former aging soap stars getting into hair and makeup brought these two people in the holding hands. I mean, they kind of look at it now like oh my god we are. If they're doing this in the room, I'd probably would grab one of your hands just in gay gas. That's true.

But I like that they were all getting, they were all holding hand, or sorry, they were all doing this photo shoot and we're getting the electric guitar is playing and the only one who had a win machine on her with Nicolette Sheridan. I was like, you can try to make Nicolette Sheridan nice all you want.

She brought her fan from home and the others didn't. She was like, sorry, ladies. You know that she insisted on having some, but they're like, we don't have the budget for women's, someone is standing there with a blow dryer, just on Nicolai. Who's Scott Evans? They're like, Scott, can you do us a favor?

Can you kill this blow dryer? I got it. So this is where we get that montage that's absolutely amazing. We're the ladies. This is the best thing in the movie. The one that's voice does give it a lesbian feel though like someone who's saying like black velvet or like It doesn't seem like Tiffany, but it didn't sound like Tiffany. I think it sounds like Harry Underwood. Listen, they were sexy when they walk, sassy when they talk.

Okay, and they're younger than they've ever been. Men it by minute. Uh, what I was confused about here is right after that, he says, I have to rewrite the script. It is. I'm sorry, stop everybody. Jake, I'm interrupting you for the 9000th time, because I have very important news for you guys. It was Tiffany singing the you for the 9000th time because I have very important news

for you guys It was Tiffany singing the thing I feel like this is the best I've heard Tiffany sound I saw that if you did country Sounded like country right honey. It's like rockabilly. Yeah, it was written by Steve Dwarf and Michael Jay and is performed by 80s pop singing like Tiffany. I'm dead I thought that the press release door. Wait a second. Are you saying this is just Steve door? Yeah, because there was one time in my life where I was wedged between Tiffany and Stephen Dorf Oh wow, that's that's called synchronicity That's so for a moment. I was like this this something weird's happening. I got I got really panic there. Okay, well don't stop. No go on

I what a what are you stuck with? Thank you, I need to hear more fuck. I'm supposed to just go make this I am Crash Okay, I'm gonna smell like cigarettes. Okay, we'll be back for a part five of Ben talking just kidding good. No, I I've been talking to this kid and good. No, I managed to get myself into the Playboy 50th anniversary party. Oh, Playboy mansion.

And that tracks. And so it was like, Playboy so much. I was like, I want to go to some place where I'll be very sexually aroused. And so there was the masturbation over there. And so there was like tons of these like random celebrities, all sorts of be-less celebrities, but then random people like Gloria Alred and Jesse Jackson

and they're an Anonacole fan. Gloria Alred was there, I was so confusing. She's just walking after people. Talking to Jesse Jackson, they have a lot of you've been mistreated, anybody here can mistreated. Just giving out a big, it's like 2002 maybe. Yeah. Maybe three. And it was, I mean, it was crazy.

I mean, this, and Nicole Smith was alive at this time. I remember seeing her there. The valley line. I went, yeah. And I remember going to the bar and there was this crush of people. And I remember being crushed literally between Steven Dorf and Tiffany. So when you said, like, it was Tiffany as written by Stephen Dwarf or Steve Dwarf, I was like, I cannot believe that would have been faded moments. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, if you were, if you were between Tiffany and Steve Dwarf, you could have been like, what the fuck was up with this lately? There have been a more interesting conversation. They like Matt because they're like, who is that gay that got stuck between us? Hey, what's your number? And then they fall in love Okay, so now everybody's decided to do this movie and I put the next scene is Alex skipping leg day again to write shirtlessness boxers, so yeah, so we have this whole montage and during this montage We've talked a lot about the song, but the things that they're doing is that they are because this is the photo shoot that they're doing So they're decorating the things that they're doing is that they are, because this is the photo shoot that they're doing, so they're decorating the tree, and they are making gingerbread cookies

together. And then now, and Alex are sitting from director's chairs watching, but also shoving cinnamon bun spings. A noodle link. Yeah. A noodle link. Well, like that they don't have an art department, and they actually have to make make these props. So that's true. That's happening.

There's actually all sat out in the kitchen drawing. Yeah, and actually this wasn't like fake art direction. Like, no, this was for the actual movie they're filming now. And then there's like a lot of like this very simple. There's a lot of this like their backs are to the backstreet of the camera and one by one they turn around and hold like a stocking. Yes, it's a lot of that kind of choreo.

And then as Ronnie was saying about the leg day thing, it sort of like settles in on that they have to, he's aside he needs to rewrite the script to reflect the good mood in the cast. That they get along now. It doesn't make sense because you're supposed to be writing to the characters and not to the actresses. You're really getting along. I'm going to change this whole film to where they're

getting along. What is that? That's an amazing, you know what? Bruce Willis is totally fine with terrorism out. Let's just rewrite die hard to where. Or like holiday do party how about treat them as actresses so they can actually act and do a script who cares that they get along

i'm not acting is to do your fucking job but also justice whole scene okay it's like the middle of the movie literally nothing has happened makes any sense and the screenwriter who's writing it as he goes along, decides to write plots. What are you talking about? You shoot a live thing and you go live in two minutes. Yeah, and also, why are you in your underwear now? I don't mind it. Well, I was like, oh, he had like a surprisingly really good body, but he's like in the production

office, which is in the same house as far as the lighting's on. I had to come back together. I'm taken off my pants. I didn't mind you. I thought he might house as far as I'm talking about. I'm talking about together. I'm taking off my pants. I thought he might be late. I thought he might be late. I thought he might be late. I thought he might be late. He's not even late for a while.

And I typed it in his underwear. I thought he might be late. We were gonna have a whole scene where she came in and he was holding a laptop in front of his privates. And that would have been like a thing where they went back and forth the past. And guess what? That never happened.

Like America. Also, it's American graffiti, but with the pie. I'm not American pie. Those were Jimmy Hercubi. Pie with the pie. Yeah. They walk it on Ron Howard naked with a pie on his crotch. You know, it's going to be a bad, first of all,

any writer that has a body like that is not going to write a good script. Thank you. Thank you. First of all, any writer that has a body like that is not gonna write a good script. Thank you. Thank you. First of all, it's a good stuff. You need to be schlobbing. You need to not have apps, okay? Trust us for the slubs.

So he's trying to rewrite this scene and then we're seeing like, we're seeing like, we're imagining his version of it. And so we see Margot, we're seeing like versions of the soap opera scene in his head. I like this meta approach, but it just never paid off the way I thought it would. Yeah, and we should see more of it.

Also didn't they only do it twice? So if you're gonna do something like this, do it at least three times. Okay, three times. Don't even try to apply three-zerb times. I don't think they had time for more than three times. Don't even try to apply threaser I don't think they had time So I love to that he's like, okay, here's what the plots could be. Maybe it's it one has an evil twin No, maybe it's it one has amnesia

No, literally those are all better than anything that happens go with one of those and this would have still been a good movie But now so then we go to Morgan checking her phone Those are all better than anything that happens. Go with one of those and this would have still been a good movie. But now, so then we go to Morgan checking her phone, or I don't know, someone can't sleep and they're checking their phone. So it's time to go down to the kitchen, get a snack, and then everyone's like, oh my God, you're in the kitchen too?

I'm in the kitchen. Oh, you're in the kitchen. This is true. You, this is how the movie is. I'm making to a room, being shot. And then it becomes revealed that you're a golden girls writer without revealing People slowly filing into the kitchen late at night. Oh wow, so basically just you just rip whips But whips out his biggest this is this is my biggest trick here. We are I know so marker goes downstairs and Lily's there

And Lily has decided to make late night mold cider because why not? I cannot. This would destroy my acid reflux. Why are they sleeping on their set? Why are they sleeping on their set? Also, they're in full beat, by the way. That's a joke that I don't know if anybody else got later on where they said someone said, we just woke up. Can't you tell? And they're all like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey their bed headwigs on. So basically Lonnie Anderson is down there with some mold cider. That's not just something you just go downstairs and make. That takes

some time. No, you've got to do it for like 30 minutes. She's been there for a while thinking about all her Emmy losses. I can't that stuff. No, I don't want hot wine. Also by the way, by the way, okay, also how are you surprised by Mold Wine? How do you walk downstairs? Like, oh, I didn't realize you were here like it's mold wine. You smell it all throughout the entire house. That is true. Don't you think there's someone downstairs making mold wine?

Yeah, it smells like someone puked with cinnamon in it. So the ladies gather, Nicolette comes down to and so they're talking about, oh my God, isn't it? Don't you miss swapping stories over craft services guys? And then they talked about how they used to be able to eat whatever they wanted without gaining weight, which is a bunch of bullshit, okay? I don't know whoever has lived in LA

and just been like, oh my God, remember that time when we just ate whatever we want? No, nobody has done that and been. You have a diet at age 12 Yeah, there was there was also like an attempt to give Morgan Fairchild's character like some backstory or some personality because she's like I always make sure to wake my kids up with the smell of their favorite traditional English fruitcake wafting to the house just like my mom made for me So I thought Alex and N now would like a two because shaggy is gonna make fru kick now

here's the deal we never we never hear anything about it comes back again it does come back yet but also why because she speaks in a completely american accent there's no need that there's there's nothing that comes from this i think it it may be her parents were English, so I kind of, I think Morgan Fairchild is actually, her parents are actually British, because I was like, they wanted to bring that. Morgan Fairchild was like, I'd like to do this. This is improvised.

Morgan Fairchild's like growing up as a child and London, I remember the horses and the muffins that my mother would make in the morning, but it makes no sense like I'm just like a clip clip clip clip clip clip on the pop cobblestone streets. She just grew up in Dallas. She's from Dallas, fucking Texas. Why would they even do this? It's makes no sense. No, this is more of a child This is her. This is the actress saying, I'm sorry. Before we do the rest of the scene, I was just wanting, can I just, I would love to add a detail,

well, I don't know, English food, about my childhood being, what do we add that into the script? Michael Lackard. Wow, look at her. I smell gingerbread cookies. Get me a fucking bloat ryer over here, right now. So anyway, girls, let me tell you why I've been mad this whole time at Donna, because she never returned my call.

Drunk, that's it. Literally, that's it. She never returned her call. I would have no friends left. Yeah. It's so confusing. Oh, yeah, because they're all getting drunk, right? Because because she tells it because they get her drunk,

so it was like a drinking montage, right? And then she says this whole thing about like, you know, she starts saying like, oh yeah, you know, like back in the day, I was, how was a bit of a party girl and, oh, got out of the floor? More like the limelight. So she was a club kid.

She knew Michael Alec You know what she was like that's a little bit before my time you know the rest of the cast was like bitch I Would the limelight and the and and and and and and arena the other club kid places. I used to go to game We have an arena in West Hollywood. Yes, that was the game lesbian center now. That was for the Twinks. Yeah, we just got a ring back to that game lesbian center. We do know it lady.

Everything goes back to it. They turned it. They converted into the game. Lusby and son of a bitch. I never went to twink stuff because I ever even when I have it. We were two old. I just well, even when I was a twink, I think I just had not a twink face. I don't think you were ever a twink

I was never I hit 40 at like seven years old and I've stayed there I'm glad. I don't think I would want to be a twink. I was a twink before I had hair on my face and then but I was always an 88 year old woman inside So it's only on the outside. So Juliet says that like after being ghosted, she was a club girl, but after being ghosted, like the way like she dealt with it was just pouring her energy into work

and she just would work and work and work. But there was always something missing. But this is no one wants to hear this. I was hoping to keep it private, especially from the blonde who shall remain named. The blonde. There's like three other blondes. I don't wish you one. Can you be more specific?

Well, you're not specific enough. Angela. I really needed a redhead in here. Vain Deut, she's like, you know, the one with privilege. And Margaret could have done this. And Margaret would have been great here. Oh, you know what? I think... I mean, I think it could literally say that in any movie and it would work, you know, and Margaret would have been great here. Yeah. Yeah. How about the mom from out? Margaret would have been great.

Oh, the mom from out. I would agree with you on everything. On every point. Not, not Willie from out because I think he got like arrested for like job organization. Well, he's also no longer with us, but yeah, Willie from Alph had like a actual crack to shoe. Yeah What do you think about the long yeah, listen, I feel like I what if Alphorin this He's like anybody walks from both cats Do me cats with that house. Yeah, that was yes weird, so

Okay back to the old alpha hug So Donna is like pretending that she just heard something fucking scandalous and they called her a blonde lady So welcome to 2023 so she's like well, I heard you and my room or the vent goes up So you modify Post it's my shoulders. Because I was so sure Donna in but she's very animated from this point on.

Yeah, very animated and then whether we just hear someone singing Oh Christmas tree in the distance. Oh Christmas tree. Oh Christmas tree. And that slamming the nuts down. And it's now in a different room. No, it doesn't seem to realize there's four other women awake right now. It's tracks with your theory, Ben, that if this is actually a continuation of the story of

Nell, she would want to like beat Wannets open like she did in the wood to eat. There you go Yeah, so now for whatever reason now is furious I went from sundowns to this and so Also, isn't she cracking the wall nuts incorrectly? Aren't she supposed to put the wall nuts in the mouth of the nut cracker? Yes, you are.

Yeah, she was scratching the bottom of the nut. So this doesn't speak well for her directorial skills. No. So she's banging the wall nuts, totally unaware that there's four women in the next room over gossiping over Moldwine. And so the women all come in and she's like, oh, did I wake you? And Margot Marcos like no, did it look like you just

Just woke up. No, because you're all your all Sauce on the line. So she's like, I'm gonna make a story for the Shore for the for the show, so media on people will love it. And there are those real friends or those just Computer friends. Oh, computer friends. Now, what is interesting too, like the plot line, they, this happens a couple of times where they're like, they sit down and they say, this is about Alex, isn't it?

And Donna says, and she's like, how did you know? If it Donna says something about how you cracked that nut. Like a maniac. Something about how you cracked that nut Like amazing act which felt like a gay like a gay pun of Seaman joke, but sure what happened about how you cracked that nut Well the other thing about this is they just assume this isn't career related that it's all about a boy And it's just not it's like she's now being reduced to how she figures into his world and they're like, she's like the manic pixie dream girl,

except she's just like the blase pixie, whatever girl. And they start to talk about it and you think, okay, are we going to get like in this movie like a little bit of like character vulnerability a little bit and No, because Morgan just says we don't have time for this you two need to be together and that's that and that's kind of how we just Affairs to be quite complicated Yeah, well here's the story between me and him. We made movies together and we became inseparable then he kissed me and ain't that all ago,

a wands really. And then we kissed Romeo and Juliet style. And the next day he dropped out of college, quit acting and texted me. He's sorry. And that's it. Let's just say the kiss was better for me than I. You know, Romeo and Juliet ends with them both died.

I'm feeling makeup. And so what were you expecting? Did you finish your degree in theater? I don't think you did. You delivered that so much better than she did. That really well, Ronnie. That was really nice. It was just like this lady.

It's like I'm a lady. All I really care about is a man. I went to Sundance. Now I'm trying to sell cinnamon buns and every day, I just see what is that chicken-led man doing with his life? What's the Romeo and Juliet kiss? Is that ton? That Romeo and Juliet tap,

did they just do a little tap? I think it's tinge with poison. Because you know, and she just, yeah. Yeah. Well, you left none for me, Romeo. You left none for me. That's true. And honestly, it is none for me, Romeo. You left none for me. That's true. And honestly, it is difficult to get through Romeo

and Juliet and not gonna have shit. It's, shit is free. I can only watch the Buzz Lerman. Morgan's like, honey, that's not how LaMoa works. You don't get to choose who you fall for. And then of course, Nicolette Shardons, like, listen to her. She's had five husbands. So then Linda's like listen

We all know Alex. He likes you. He's a little close When men are close they need a little nudge, okay? So like time to get past the friend zone So now that then of course like ladies, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah, my career's in the shitter. I can't look on doing this But also about the two of them not really they're both boring and bland and I can't wait to get them out of my face If you want to get a man nail down here's what you need you need determination and then of course like you need integrity And then it's like you need, you need determination. And then of course, like, you need integrity. And then it's like, you need brutality. It's like, you need amount of these things. You need to change every single thing about yourself, Greestyle, because that's how you get a man. You change everything. You change your entire appearance for him. And that's how you get him.

That's how the moment is a sexy a woman. That's the message of the film. Commissions. Here comes one right now. And so now after they've all stood up for different adjectives, then we go, it's like the next day, and Alex is still shirtless. He's still in his boxers and he's so pissed around.

I know, it's just like I figured things out. God is beautiful. Chess beautiful. Labical. Yeah, he is You guys who are these people What do you think that cover would be like a panty of the poem, sing it? Mellanie, my millennium, I can't know, I'm rocking in my mind. Mellanie, my millennium, no! What the hell? So Alec is in his underwear in a room in this set and he's like he called a like text or calls and is like Hey, now I'm in my office, right?

And can you come and find me when you haven't made it? I'm in my underwear. I don't you worry and In the Weird Yeah, the such and eight are a thing you're right put on your sweats put on your sweat and Take them off show us your chicks skinny legs Then the divas all stand in a line because it's time for a makeover So when it's time for makeover not just a cool one a personality makeover It was the eye for the straight guy of all their shoes and then you just see her converse and you're like me Tom

I'm like my fair lady. We're all of these ladies teacher how to be a real lady Yeah, this is like can't hardly wait but 40 years earlier. Yeah, I literally can't hardly wait because chicken, okay. I'm living minute to minute here. I don't know if you listen to the lyrics of the song, but I'm ready for any thing. But also you guys are on a production schedule. What are you guys doing right now?

So they all learning your lines. Yeah, so then they're like, okay. So Lonnie Anderson's like, okay, you have to give it more of an effort. And since we're on the slopes of Aspen, you can start by getting rid of that ski cap because they're like, oh, the ski cap is a problem. But here's the thing. She has not always been wearing the ski cap. It's not like she wears the ski cap is a problem. But here's the thing, she has not always been wearing

the ski cap, it's not like she wears the ski cap and it's awful. She's actually, yeah, worn it twice. Like, oh, I'm so glad you put back the ski cap on because we need to take it off of you. Ah, that part of the makeovers now done. And then we have to make a team run. See Linda, give her a broad.

Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, that's good. Go ahead, Brian. Linda's like, oh, you need to learn yoga. Give her a braw. Yeah, oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, that's good. Go ahead, running. Linda's like, oh, you need to learn yoga to keep her man. No, you fucking don't. Where is this coming from? You have to get blonde, bend yoga.

What? What? You have to get, she's then she has to become a real blonde because the purple hair is way too edgy for our red-letted Australian. That's too alternative. On that purple. And you have to talk better. Morgan Fairtross can teach you how to talk better

because girls can talk better. And I can't even hurt you. And even though you have a film at Sundance, you can't write. So I'm good to give you a journal. It's Dick Leach, Sharon Sheridan to teach you to write descriptive passage. This wasn't good. Write another passage. Okay, you write the website of all of them. That was the best.

Nicholas Sheridan being like, it was like she was how you write ice and they didn't know what to do with her at his bike. It's calling a writer writes a writer writes. So what the hell is that? Nicholas, someone had to nickel it's here and then some paper in a pen that's her talent that's right in the journal

yeah i would have i would have imagined this if this would have been like a mousy girl with horned rim glasses she was the one and flump frumpy but i don't think she needed a lot of makeovering and I don't think they did a lot. There wasn't time. There was second of mansion. I'm surprised that like her makeover wasn't gingerbread cookies in her hair because they were running out of resources. Why did they put it like her part? They put it her hair to a side part and they just put more blood shunner in lip color and then darkened our eyebrows and that's it

and then suddenly he sees her and falls fucking that can't do with you I would buy a put on a small can't wait by the way I just want to say this also during this montage well this is all happening it keeps cutting to him being like no where are you I'm in my mind. I'm like, we should have a meeting. No, no fucking door. Walk it, you're in the same house. Walk out of the door.

You can hear everyone outside. There go a door. I'd ask you to just, if you can't find someone in that house, go outside the steam room because someone is walking around there. And how long did this take? How long did this montage of this makeover take? 45 minutes? Yeah, I know what they didn't have a script to learn. So why not, you know, that's true

She's never gonna be able to sell another cinnamon bun people are gonna be like, I'm sorry that aren't you too refined? Did you just write in a journal? Oh, you're too good for this job, I would take a cinnamon croissant, but not a cinnamon bun So they would have to have some glass in this crystal in the cinnamon bun because So she's like, they would have put already a cream. Oh my god, do I have some glass in this cuisson? In the cinnamon bun, because the glass ceiling has been shattered. But you know, it's also funny. So the makeover ends with her. They put her in like a cream dress like there.

Now you're in a cream dress and you know how to speak like a civilized human being. And you know how to wear makeup. Enjoy this cream dress. And then she goes, you're a girl now. But now she's wearing like, there's a red drapless dress in our hair. The red with a slit up.

It's like 11 a.m. Where did they enjoy it? Where did they get this? Is this one of the women's wardrobes? Because it doesn't look age appropriate for any of them. Oh no, it looks very much like Kato or like a casual corner. I wish I wish the Mandy patinkin guy came in and just was like, yeah, this was my wife's Pretty

I like it looks like something I think that's it was from cold guy. Jake.. I Feeling Jake has looked good in that before No, I would wear that I would wear that pants suit I wear I do really well with things that are off the shoulder because of my creamy out of aster shoulders But let's anyway, let's let's not forget that I guess that this happened all day long So was he in his production office all day long? Look I was, I was, I was, I was in a weird look. I was like, is it, because I was, I was under the pressure. He went in there last night and he never came out again.

He is now the next day. He's been a chatterbait in his body. Or what? And now chatterbait. He never left. He never left. So now she looks beautiful. And that was a deal for Nicola serenance

So guy so she comes out so she comes to the production office finally in a makeover And he's of course stammering and he's like She's so womanly now. What do I do? And she's like, sorry, too late. I'm going to have a conversation with the only other person on this show, the guy from the 10th episode. Which by never heard. No, no, no, no, but he's not really on the show.

He's just expositioning for the audience to late. He's hotter than you. So I'm going to go see him. Bye. It does feel weird for the the the black male to be taking away. It's like the sexual heroin. Yes. The sexual threat with it. Yeah. Yeah. So. So Nell is like, uh, so she's like, yeah, I'm going to go. I have to speak with, um, Tommy, because he's going to interview them. And um, he's's from Hollywood tonight and he asked if we could grab a bite

And I was like yes, that way we can talk freely To coordinate interview be like the interview's gonna start at 8 p.m. What do you need? What do you mean what do you need privacy that we need to be able to talk freely like some secrets yeah, it's like an entertainment tonight interview about and I think it's an entertainment tonight interview about that you haven't by the way, you haven't done anything to direct this film. Have we seen this girl do anything as a director? Literally nothing.

She hasn't even called like go. I mean, she hasn't said, okay, we're gonna remember. All she's done is like crash nuts and complain about a boy. Yeah, she's got terrible gator, by the way, if she's dressing up like this for Scott Evan. Thank you. Then Alex is like, let's be, okay.

So then Alex is like, so we know that this is like, this is a terrible thing to happen in their love story. An ornament falls off the tree out of nowhere. And he's like, I thought was all here, oh, what I mean. So that was the exact match from the original show that the daughter gave to her Which we've never heard of before we've never heard of before

Couldn't we have brought that up when she gives you a star in front of the tree and you could say this looks good with our hero Orn of course He's just transferring his frustration onto the ornament because he realizes he's been edging in his office for all night No, not November. He's had all this time. He missed this chance with Nell. And now Nell is about to go out on an date with the gay anchor of an infotainment show and he might lose it forever. So he gives him an aggressive, aggressive this bump Yeah, so Alex is like, um, can we talk please? It's important. It's about it's about work

It's about work and she's like going on a date with somebody that's not really date And he's like, but you what are you doing? What are you going on a date with him for you can't mix business with pleasure She's like, I'm a woman now and I'm gonna make you jealous She's like, I'm a woman now and I'm gonna make you jealous. He's like, oh my god, whoa. Oh man, hey. And then Tommy shows up in a Porsche like, yeah, you thought I was just for ex-ex-position. Guess what? I'm a blog publication.

I'm a real person. Where do they go? Look, and he says, what? The good Mr. Chow. We're gonna go to Spago. We're gonna go to Nobu. So now it's like the next guy. We're gonna go to Spago. We're gonna go to Nobu. So now it's like the next day. We're gonna go to Stoop Plantation.

We're gonna go to... Dorcia. We're gonna go to Dublin's and Miyagi's. So now it's the next day and there's gonna be a press junket, okay? And they're talking and this press junkets would tell me, by the way. And they're all talking and they're excited to talk let's press junkets with Tommy, by the way. And they're all talking, and they're excited, they're excited to perform live and everything, and Nicklet Sheridan's like, oh, and by the way,

what's exciting about this is that we get to see audience response as it happens in the chat rooms. Oh my God. And in case you wanna be part of one of those chat rooms, be sure to update your username in the iCloud and they'll have full access. This is where I went, I threw down my pad at this point. And I, I, a chat room. So I, this, they start doing this thing. So they're decorating a Christmas tree and taking pictures right that's their photo shoot and they start using like popcorn to decorate

with the solaris and house in Malibu. They're like you know what we need some popcorns trying so they do that and then they they have to still cast the house boy which by the way the show tapes in five minutes they're like, you know what we should do? A casting. So all these hot guys come in to do a casting. And wow, this shows going great. So now they're going to do a table read. They were by the way, they had to order them off something. I didn't think them the cast. One guy was shirtless. A, they all should have been shirtless. And also, nothing with that hot. them the cast one guy was shirtless a they all should have been shirtless and also they nothing with that hot.

Well, what budget can you expect the director showed up in a cinnamon bun truck? True. Well, by the way, let's not let's not breeze past the part where after the press junk it ends and Tommy is like leaving them after they tell a very stirring story about how they all met during a snow storm during a garbage strike in New York City. Oh, good. Tommy has to leave and but while before Tommy leaves, he like goes up to Nell and is like, I'll text you later and good luck with the show tomorrow.

He says this to Alex. He's like, good luck with the show tomorrow, buddy. It should be a good one. And then he like does like a fist bump on is like, I'm going to fuck her. I'm gonna fuck her. I'm gonna fuck your girl. And I'm going to take video of it and send it to you. What the hell?

This is what this is. This is what I kept wanting to happen. And it should have. Why wasn't there a fight in the middle of the interview of the two women fighting and they land in the pool and fight. Thank you. That is what should have happened. Well, they had that in the, they had that in the fighting montage from the past

where they showed them slapping each other. Like when the other one into the pool, there was a hot guy that was very funny. When Nikolae Sheridan was rescued and she just went oh by the way this is what they said also in the backstory of how let they tell Tommy the back story when they're talking about how they first met because they first met during a snow storm apparently more in fair child made them a British fruit cake because I brought them together so that was the tie-in just so everyone's won.

That was the piece that came back. The fruit cake. It's a British fruit cake. Fruit cake, that different from an American fruit cake. Girl, please. It's more sophisticated. Don't let the virus out of the camera. I guess you're not looking up fruit cakes.

Because you know I'm about to. I've still got Linda Fiorentino open. I'm brown. It does. Does has Linda Fiorentino ever eaten fruit? Don't you watch the Great British Bake Off Ronnie? Aren't you into that? I've never watched it, but I do.

Yes. Well, I used to, you know, we've covered it a few, a couple of seasons or something. I miss for season. Yeah, but I don't watch them all the time because I really want to concentrate. Lots of gays on it now. Yeah, I love that show. There's a lot of back stories. It's like, I play it when Benny's like, I live on the boardwalk with my daughter and I play

tubas and our family band right by the window open to the bar box so everyone can hear us while I make chocolate chip cookies. What the fuck? And then they cut to him like playing a tuba and it is apartment and his daughter like playing a violin like They're the nicest mother fuckers in the world who are on that show Yeah, they really go good. So anyway, so there's more drama on that show I bet then this movie. Yes, you're right So so either way Tommy is very menacing when he leaves And then no and no is And then Alex is very threatened. And Nell is like, first of all,

I can date him now. I can date him now. I can date who I wanna date. And he's like, but I'm your boss. And she goes, not on my life. And he goes, I didn't mean it that way. Well, what other way is it? You're her boss?

I don't know. And she goes, well, what do you mean? He goes, I just mean that if we have to work, maybe you should focus on the job and not on Tommy. The person's give us publicity for our shitty live show that I have written. For 10 minutes. And then like a 13 year old nail said, you're the most confusing person on the planet. Ugh.

And then the ladies give her a thumbs up. Like, yes, she's doing it right. She's pretty now. She doesn't have purple hair. And she just made him jealous. So she's like, yes, she's doing it right. She's pretty now. She doesn't have purple hair. And she just made him jealous. So she's like, Oh, that's a classic move is jealousy.

That's so much going to work. The seven turns around and she's like, and maybe you should ask why you care. It's more Debbie. It's more Debbie. Yeah. Your voice is getting more and more hillbilly like in the mountain.

Talking a little bit like the southern, but it's a little bit good dentures don't work. Ah, Shay, Ah, Shay. So now we're in rehearsal and more inferior trouble falls down a staircase, but it's just a stunt double. And then this is like silly stuff. The houseboy additions happen now. The random muscle bike comes in. I was not opposed. And everyone's just getting ready. For the first time, they're actually acting like there's a show to do at the next day.

And so now it's definitely- Where was it? Where Morgan says that good lot? Where does she say? I love where she says, oh, when the guys come in for the casting and Morgan looks at the camera, goes, wait for mommy. And it was disgusting.

It was just, wow. She was like, wanna try some traditional English. Yeah, it's like she almost said my lips are wet. Like it was just, there's a lot of good new fruits for my fruit cake. God bless. Morgan Fairchild deserves a muscle man in her life. She does

So my friends was your assistant for a while. I need to ask her what? Yeah, one of my friends wait a long time to drop that bomb. I I just thought about it. Yeah Steve door by the way, Steve door Steve door. Yeah, Steve door Okay, so now they're having a rehearsal on the stairs and of course like well listen as I was developing our product and underdeveloped countries This what is the scene I've listened to these lines, okay, I don't even remember the time really tired They got really tired I think it's all winding down. So Donna says decorating the house, decorating the house together, after a great deal, just feels great, doesn't it?

And it goes, it does. As I was developing our production or product line in underdeveloped countries, I'm undergoes. Thankfully, helping those less fortunate is part of our mission statement. And Lonnie's like, mother, oh, this is a rehearsal of the lines. They're all standing now, I remember. They're all standing in a line up the stairs.

Yes, so you have these lines like they're facing out to the audience. Mother, be careful up there because of your fear of heights. This is great. By the way, that girl who just spent all that time dating and getting pretty, this is her direction. I just want to show you. This is a Sundance affiliated

director here. Yes. Yes. Yes. And say your lines to her mother, to your mother of the stairs. And no guidance at all. No. It was, well, this is the guidance of a director who spent all her day doing a makeover instead. Yeah, it was well, this is the guy that's a director who spent all her day doing a makeover instead That's so now now they're all sitting around the table going over their lines and Juliet is like I missed you so much. We really should get together In more than just the holidays and then Alex like hold on wait up everything's fine Why don't you ladies take a break? I don't really even know what's happening in this.

I don't know. We don't make you feel good. We don't make you feel good. It doesn't even make sense anymore. I know what to do. I'm so sorry, I got lots of stuff. It's so obvious. We need a reconciliation scene.

So basically, the issue is that the lines are not working. Okay, and Alex is feeling it's not working. The, for some reason, this soap opera reunion, it's just not working. It just feels. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible.

It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible.

It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. that deep down, they really care for each other because the audience totally wants them to get together. Meta, meta, meta.

Again, it doesn't matter if actors fucking hate each other. They just go to set and do what they're supposed to do. Yeah, you know what people want to watch and soap opera to see people get along. That's what we're wearing in this script. Yeah, that's why they watch housewives and 90 day fiancee to see. Yeah, exactly. So now are we in bed yet? So let me see, Alex is like, I should redo, I'm going to redo this. I'm going to redo this scene, okay? And I want them to make up in

real life too because this is all acting. I'm like, these ladies are like literally getting along. I'm not really sure why they keep telling us. I'm not getting along. They're like, that was such a great bonding moment. You too. Oh my God. You know what we need more hugs? These ladies are not in love with each other. You know what I think we need? I think we need a text montage where instead of reading, instead of actually letting the audience read the text, which is the whole point, we're going to speak the text all aloud as protecting everyone. Yes. So basically what happens is the Alex decides that he's going to write a scene to help foster a real life

reconciliation between Nicolette Sheridan and Donna Mills. So now it's nighttime and everyone's reading the script and everyone starts to text and we see their text on screen and I don't know if this was an in joke or just slopping this but all their texts have their real actress names on them. Which I was like did anyone fact check this? No, like Lonnie Morgan, Linda. That's funny.

Oh, that was actually said, yeah. The text said their names. That was funny. So now they're, they did this in three days. No art department. Wow. Okay, so now the lady, now what are they doing?

Now they're watching random pajamas. Right, well, because they're talking about like, the ladies are really just concerned about the young ends getting together. Yeah, they're concerned. I guess our makeover was a little too successful. I think we need to go to plan B. Any ideas?

Sounds like these kids could use some motherly guidance right now. And so the move, the TV episode, isn't really that important anymore. It's about helping kids. It's never been important. It's about the young people who are already hot, fucking whoever they want to be able to fuck. I mean, do you have a party?

Forget that money. She needs for her dead husband stealing. She just needs to be smashed. They basically said, let's talk about you and Nell. And he says, I hurt her. Then my mom died. Okay, so yeah, this is where we find out that the reason that he ghosted her and left school is because his mom died, which is, you know, I mean a good reason. I guess he's like, not doing this. Yeah, you can't argue with it, but why not when he first saw and she says, you ghosted me. Why wouldn't you say, I know I'm so sorry, my mother passed away. It's not like it just happened.

What? Who's ashamed of their mother passing away? It's the weirdest. This is a weird plot. I'm sorry. It's also a movie of weird plots. This one's really weird. This was really strange. It's only surpassed by the reveal at the end

with Donna Mills about the husband. Right. Well, so then Alex, Alex basically says, well, he's telling the women, because they're all now being like mother hands to him because there's like sad sitcom music all the way through this.

And he's like, you know, we still connect, but I think it's a little too late. I mean, did you see the way she was looking at Tommy? I was like, she talks to Tommy for five minutes. But they do not like, he's a guy. So he doesn't know anything. He's like a guy so he doesn't know anything he's like well anything

he's really how they even walked in when he was just laying in bed and they all walked in and sat on his it's weird oh yeah i think they the incestuous vibes are too strong i think this man is way too close to these women when he was raised but i did like this so so morgan's like you know what collectively we've all had numerous lovers boyfriends and husbands and Lonnie goes and I guess the girl in college wants I'm an ally And she did it in a way that that you didn't really laugh at but you could laugh at her doing it

He did it in a way where I believe that Lonnie Anderson has actually said. Yeah. Yeah. So Alex is like, well, I guess I'm going to get advice with her. I want it to not let me have it. Mommies. And so then we get a whoosh and Nell is in bed with music on her. You know, listening to head music on her.

Listen, she's got a listening device on her eye. Her eye clouds. See, here's the eye thing. Yeah. And she takes off her, her phonographs that are taped to the side of her head. Let me put down my Napster for a moment. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, my line won't, hold on. Let me take this beta max away from my ear. And then she hears them all parting down. Well, there's the Christmas singing that, uh, but they're all singing it, but they're singing it on social media too because they have their phones out, you know,

because this show is like, what I love about, um, movies written a lot of times for Lifetime and Hallmark is that there's a lot of like, isn't social media crazy as if social media hasn't been with us for 18 years. Like, we're like, it'll not use to it.

This is so weird that we have to be on social media. So, they're all singing 12 days of Christmas and then Nell does that thing that happens a lot of these movies where she stands in a door frame like a few feet away with her arms crossed and just laughs like, amazing. I think I'm falling in love with this guy. Is he, and because he's looking, is he like drunk at this point? Because he's looking like he's having,

he's having a good time for the first time. And I assume. Yeah, I forget this very close off. He only has three social media followers. We'll also, he's got his mom back. Because apparently nobody knew that his mother died. Nobody in his life knows that his mother died. Nobody knows that these women are like his mother. Right.

So he goes, oh my God, you're the best quasi-mother. So child actor could ever ask for. So like he's found his mom's again. So like, oh my God, this is great. She's like, I don't want to interrupt that. So then we, it's later. It's seen next. This is seen.

Linda. Linda's in lies climax scene. Yeah. Secretly. We see Linda bent over hunched over what if she do it and she's like I'm your father, darling That's what I wanted from this I wanted someone to say like we're actually sisters. You're actually my child All of that, but I'm so satisfying that. No, it's just lending. I'm not eating some, it's Linda's eating some genitals.

That's the big, that's the big lie. He left her, he ghosted her not because his mom died, but because he thought they were actually, he found out they were actually related. And then Morgan says, no, you weren't related because I'm actually your mother. And you're right. I thought that was going to happen. This is what mother and your mother. Right. I thought that was going to happen. This is what we needed. That's, I actually thought that was going to happen. And that's very so much.

And that's very, and none of that happened. We get the worst reveals. And the most boring. And it all happens in the scene. This is like the big reveal scene, right? When everything comes loose. So, so Linda is snacking and Lonnie Anderson walks in and catches her and like, oh, what are you doing?

And Linda's like, oh, I was just looking in this box. My name is on it. And Lonnie Anderson's like, I know it is bitch. Those are my gifts to everyone. You're supposed to wait. And she's like, I'm so sorry. And she's like, you know what? You're like a little kid on Christmas morning.

And is there something you wanna tell me? What is it? What's going on? I'm not smacking. I can't help it. I'm not really as healthy as I pretend. I'm a fraud. It's just like, per-tracy.

But I also eat pretzels. So what? It's like, plot. We find out this is her Tracy Gold moment. Or something like that's what. Who would have been great in this? To anybody. I way in this entire movie that Linda's plot is that she is a health Guru I didn't get that I mean I knew that it was The book it was hinted at about she wrote books you had to read the title and it was in a terrible font

So it was difficult to read but what But what she said the whole time. And that seems like a diet guru. Well, the whole thing is, it's in, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, it's going to say, like, her whole issue is she loves snacking whatever. And then Lonnie is like, listen, you're just a normal human being who's just being way too hard on herself

and also opening up her gifts before everyone else is here, which is kind of a bitchy thing to do. But it also makes it seem like that you can't eat healthy and actually eat pretzels. I know. Pretzels are my low calorie food. I literally buy pretzels and count them out. That's my thing that I can eat that I feel like. The binaries that exist in this movie confused the fuck out of me

I So Linda's like you know how exhausting it is to live up to an image I created myself an image that I've only just revealed now in this movie and everyone thinks I'm so damn good all the time And I don't know how Gwyneth Paltrow does it that was I'm glad they dropped. I'm glad they dropped and Gwyneth Paltrow does it. That was... I'm glad they dropped it. They dropped the good G-POW. Uh... And... So that Lonnie's like, oh! Chasing an impossible ideal, I hear you.

Is it not our flaws that make us beautiful? In fact, I've been told the idea of doing a completely new look. Would you like to see me take off my wig in a way that no woman knows? Camerap's off the wigs she takes her hand up and then puts the fingertips on the top of her wig like she's doing a posture exercise and then cut away cuts away because God forbid you see her actually do it and then we see the grey wig under her wig

which is totally a party city party city wig. I was like, I'm wearing my Emmy Lou Harris wig. And just the fact that she goes, you know what, these, these ideals are impossible. You guys just had a 10 minute montage of changing the girl to be better for a man. Yes!

How are you really gonna lecture me right now about? And it was, and they all said, oh my God, you're so brave brave you're so brave from removing one wig and replacing it with the different well and fact Nicolet you know they Nicolet comes in she's like oh my god I see a gray hairline or whatever you can be my spoke you're gonna be our new camp sucks my new campaign because we're catering to older women now like that ever happened and i'm like she is already on survivors she doesn't need the work more than fucking needs work maker your spots so that donna mills comes in and goes marry

christmas everyone like married christmas she's like no i'm doing a cameo no i'm gonna go right now that may be left only because we've all had to do cameo the last cameo Trouble by the way are they oh yeah, they're all cameos in trouble and I had to explain cameo to my mother And she was really confused. She's like wait a minute These people don't even know you why are they paying you to talk to them? And then she said well if I you, would you call me more? Oh, I feel like yes.

So Lonnie's like, hey, I don't know. You're just in time for gifts. And Lonnie's like, swag from the network. And Lonnie's like, no, snacks from me. From me. So I found these fabulous chocolate covered pretzels in solving when I was doing celebrity chef. And I thought, all you guys, because they're really sweet, but a little, but also a little bit salty.

The pretzels don't need a backstory, okay? I don't need a fraction. I don't need that. I don't need that. You pretend you pretzel. I get it. Pretzel. It was, it was so much.

You don't even need to know. It was so, it doesn't make sense that they're fucking dialogue in this movie that went absolutely fucking no way. I have been Linda goes. So then Linda is like, oh my god, I ate everyone's pretzel. Sorry, guys. Well, guess what I learned. You made me realize that perfection, it's a necessary moderation is.

My next book is Mindful Moderation. Okay. Your problem wasn't that you were eating too much. It was that you were not eating keto, right? What's the problem? Is it the carbs for the keto? Like, is she ate everyone's presence? She ate everyone's presence? She's a monster. She's binge eating now. Yeah. Try to go. Or do you know, but also there's a whole house in a little dude. Why are you eating the fucking pretzels that have people's names? Oh, I'm not sure if it's listening. The director has a truck outside with cinnamon rolls.

And she goes, finally, we don't have to worry about what we eat. So Julia, it's like, OK, Linda's gone down a terrible path. So everyone, here's a cashmere scarf. So it's weird. So Nicole, and by the way, Nikola did not even bring them cashmere scarves. She goes, look everyone, I'm sending you one of these. I have the picture of the online. Why?

Why? What do they have to go fill out their own information? Use a credit card just in case, just to verify their address. But this is the best one. This is the best one, Margot going. All right, everyone, Here's my gifts. My jewelry.

She takes off all her jewelry and she's giving them, they're like, no, no, no, too much. She's like, don't worry, it's not expensive. It's all costume jewelry. Like, you're just wearing it for years. I'm wearing it for years. Did you feel like I have a thought? Here's some news, underwear.

You're jewelry put more effort into costuming than this entire production staff did on this one. Yes, and I do like to do that. You're jewelry put more effort into costuming than this entire production staff did on this. Yes. And I do like some human psychonia. Take my jewels because I'm dying. Like that's not I like is it going to go there? No, it's just like she went. Oh, they're all fake.

So they should embed for me. Merry Christmas. I'm giving you my fake worthless jewelry because I realized I don't really know what I realized, but God damn Linda can eat. Hold on, I don't like to wear my costume jewelry before I eat snacks. Now, let me open up. Oh, I see. I got to say whenever she says, because Sebastian embezzled all of our money, everybody was supposed to have a reaction and everybody looked kind of grief like, oh, except for that close up on Lonnie

Anderson and she acted like she just told her that she got a deal on diet coping. She did. She's because Lonnie Anderson went, oh, oh, that's nice. So you are given earring, you are given necklace, you are given ear, Linda, take the earring out of your mouth. She is a scratch. You're so hungry.

Moderation. Okay, she's eating the Christmas tree, can someone get some help here? So the one who are like, is there anything we can do to help? And she's like, you already have, I've actually sold all your outfits on eBay. I just need you to sign the consent. Yes. You ladies have brought me through thick and thin and trying to stay thin.

And now I don't have to pretend to keep up appearances anymore and there's such relief in that. Just the same sort of relief I'm sure Linda has when she bites into a stranger's end to minstown it. So then, Donna's like, here's my gift to everybody. There's Morgan Freeman impressions I'm doing. So she's like, we're living or get busy taking my jewelry.

So she's like, here's my gift to everybody. Honesty. I really fucked. I really fucked. Nicolette Sheridan's fiance back in place. That's the reveal of the ones. I know you think, I've got a bit of a bitch this one with us because she goes,

I know you think I gave up our friendship for my career, but the truth is I gave up my career for our friendship because I fucked your fiance. You look like that even me. You're not. It's a bad thing. What does that mean? What does that mean?

It's an exit. I left the show. It was because I fucked for your fiance and I was, I felt so awkward about it. I actually felt the show. I quit the show and That's why and then she's like Oh,

Bitch, and I wrote don't forgive that bitch Immediately, too. She's like, oh well. Thank God you didn't tell me because then I wouldn't bury Joe and half kids anyway He sucked. He cheated on me all the time. No, I would have had my soul mate my twink in the suit back in New York Who's the kind of a shitty person but that solidifies if a woman if a mother calls her son a soulmate that is her gay son yes yes my mother calls me that I know that that's concerning uh... and then Julia's like oh it's fine i fun. Yeah, I never would have married Joe.

And I was blind to all this thoughts and his affairs. And there were so many of them. And that's what we got to divorce. I know we're about forfeits the way through this movie, but I thought it'd be a great time to add just a little bit more exposition in here. It's a then they all hug and then Laura, by the way, then Linda goes, oh, wait a minute.

I think I slept with Joe also. Ha, bitch. And then I slept with Joe also. Which, and then she's like, just kidding. And I went, no, if she had said that, and then they all fucked the guy, it would have been great. If they would have all fucked, if she should, oh, that just kidding was the nail in the coffin for me. That meant the movie never took up so easily. Yeah.

And Nicholas, that was hilarious, Linda hilarious Linda okay let's cheers by clinking pretzels oh Linda never mind every time you're actresses and we can pretend that we're clinking pretzels let's all pretend Linda didn't just eat all our pretzels and then the movie the movie is still not over because we have to now like I just like the podcast it just keeps I just fight down on my notes my I in my head I said are you fucking kidding me no the movies not over yet well because they're going to know it's time to go live they've resolved

their issues because by the way you know what the best time to resolve all the issues the characters it's right before the climax yes so you know because you do that at the climax? No. Or even at the day and the mom. No. Like, let's just do it beforehand. So, they're all sitting around, now they're in character, because the live special is happening.

And they're having this nice conversation around like the Christmas table. I was like, you have created a wonderful holiday, mother. I was like, you've done such amazing things. You're running your company and making all this beautiful food. You've really done yourself mummy, and this is the whole conversation. And while this is like going on and on, like now, they're looking at the chat room.

And they have brownie faces, frowny faces. Yeah. Okay, so then they go, so, I'm sorry, I'm reading these notes because they're so wacko at this point So nickel that goes Morgan says well listen I decided to spend less time in the office and more time traveling the world girls I'm giving you the company. I'm stepping down a CEO So this company is going to four of you and nickel that's like, but there's only three of us and they say who's the fourth? She goes it's a long lost sister who I had cloned and gave up for adoption

I was gonna tell you about it on our vacation in the Mountives But that was before we were kidnapped by the evil clan of cannibals. Okay. Ha ha ha So Linda hasn't been on this show before they don't know that Linda Are you fuck that was she just said I thought the guy from the Rit I mean what are you talking about I thought we were gonna get a cameo I Did anyone else think like I lean David Sim was gonna walk in oh my god I would have died Linda is a character on the old show

How are you making it do you just cast Linda in this reboot and also also, by the way, Linda was kidnapped by cannibals, but not eaten, which is what happened. What cannibals do? I'm furious about something. Is that I can get ironically Morgan, Morgan Fairchild? No, I read this very clearly with kidnapped twice in the 70s. So is Morgan. She's their long lost daughter.

She was kidnapped. Yeah. Who was Morgan Fairchild was kidnapped by Camel? But I was reading where she was from. If she was British, the Wikipedia said, she claims she was kidnapped twice in the 70s. But it was the power of traditional English fruit, fruit can't be saved her.

It saved her. To be fair, she was dressed like a pretzel and Linda was messing. Oh, no. So they, so okay, so they go cut. So the scenes over cut and then they're like a commercial on this We got frowny faces everywhere frowny faces all the chat room. Oh God on a from everywhere from a well to early You know like us to gay.com

It's about to be called America offline am I right girls? So then, so. So mel, mel and Alex are distraught. And then at the table, you know, Morgan Fairchild's watching and she goes, the ladies, we're bombing. I know this because I learned how to read lips when I replaced Anne Bancroft. I'm Broadway and the middle worker.

That, okay, that made me laugh. That was a pretty fucking good one. I was not expecting an an bancrop Michelle Lee and bancrop they're all you could see the bones of something in here. Yeah destroyed by someone So definitely I'm telling you I think that this was funny and then they Killed it network the net the network neutered it like you said I agree Yeah, I don't yeah because it because it seems like there's funny things that they can't really raise.

Which is funny because the Golden Girls' airs continuously on lifetime. Yes, wow. Quite a big hallmark now, but it's all the same. Well, either way, Morgan's like, she's like, you know what, the people, they don't want a love fest, they want a bitch fest. I'm glad that the movie realized this about its characters,

but didn't realize it about this. I could give it to you in the last 10 minutes. The actual movie itself. They figured it out at the end, too. And unfortunately, they had already shot the whole thing. So they decide that bitchiness means... Putting pies in each other's face. Because then the rest of this is just some going,

I hate you, bitch. And then they pies in each other's face. So they go off script and start coming with each other's wigs. So in any world, this would just be improving and going off script, you'd never get hired again. Yeah, but they're doing such a great job, you know? They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, I don't think they could, they're, they're gonna, but I don't think they could,

or how they couldn't eat anything because they were shellacked because they were prop, they were props, but now they've just got, now they're really, the whipped cream pie is sitting around to hit each other with. But also like, this is not,

I was like, this is not, this is not bitchy, like what bitchy, we want people to be like, oh yeah, what about you at four abortions? Like that, you know, that's what you want to hear. Yeah, that's what I want to hear. Generally speaking, generally speaking. It's just, it would definitely.

Ben's just bringing our previous fights into this. What about your Bore abortion? At least I never had Bore abortions, Ronnie. Oh, that wasn't actually from Shots of Sunset. You saw him and had ten abortions like you. I will say the argument ends there when you call abortions. I think so. I think you officially won in the most losingest of ways.

So then they start basically being snarky and mean to each other and then it's just like Yeah, it's sort of like the actresses are all actually kind of reading the lines too slowly Like it has cheap a cheap aftertaste. It is just like You and they pick up the pie slowly and it's just like again They're real housewives. We know how quick this stuff has to come. And they know it's coming. They know they're going to be a pie in their face.

And they always seem surprised when the pie is coming at their face three inches away. And they're like, oh, how could this have happened? Again, I think they thought this was going to be in slow motion. So they all were trying to do it in slow motion. So then all of a sudden, the instant reaction the chat rooms is it's it's the smile coming faster than the dialogue can provide okay and Nell and Alex high five it is this is a success and

Even though I would say it's a Christmas miracle. Look up. It's not snowing and nothing Christmassy is happening Christmas no or miracle. We, we've abandoned Christmas completely. And then afterwards, they're cleaned up. And Linda just says, Alana, I've never heard for how original of saying they liked this. They really, really liked this. And Alana, it's time to gather for goodbyes, right? So Lonnie's like, well like well guys it won't be long

until we gather in the virgin island for our girls trip which we're going to take in the virgin islands together because we're friends now I have gray hair which we talked about during a break yeah but also for their foundation y'all don't forget about the foundation foundation foundation which has the most obscure tax avoided uh... mission statement i've ever heard of yeah it's focusing on underserved women of a certain age who can use a little help from women who know what it's like

and that's it what does that mean are they sober what do you mean they're underserved? How old are they? For women from women who know what it's like. Asht. Logan Fairchild. Honestly, I would 100% donate to the charity if it was like, if it were me, I was like, man, I'm going through a tough time.

Don't worry, Morgan Fairchild is here to help you. I'm like, yes, this is a great, great worthy. It does feel like the human thought from Seinfeld. For this time of the day day you can adopt her own Morning, fair child So they they take a big photo together for social media Alex takes a photo of them and like Mary Christmas And he's like, okay, I got it. I got the photo and they're like now go get her

go get her. And I'll take her hair for you, wedding bells are dingin' get over their stuff. You would think they would add at least some sort of like urgency to this like she just got hired by to do something for Sundance and so she has to leave town. Right, no, but she has nothing to do. She's literally just going through the couch trying to find change to put gases in the bathroom. Yeah.

Back to where it's going. You sleep, you're a fucking snake. You're a fucking snake. Where's my truck? I have a business. Yeah. Yeah. So she's packing up and he's like, hey, this is, oh, so she has the, sorry, she has the

Christmas topper and she's like, this is for you. It's, it's a keepsake. And she's like, thanks for the gig, Alex. Like, maybe we'll do this again in another five years. That's my passive aggressive way of being like, thanks for not calling me again. Thanks for not talking to me for five years. And he's like, hold on, I wanna show you something

that I managed to do in the past two minutes. And they, when was this done? It wasn't. There's been no time. Maybe they should've shown that Diva's doing it. Like, this would've done? It wasn't. There's been no time. Maybe I mean, maybe they should have shown that Diva's doing it. Like, this would have been a thing for the Diva's. That would have been okay. You know, when was the time where he saw her? When was the time where he saw her? Like, oh, I should, I should, I think the live show ended 10 minutes ago. I think that's the time frame we're looking at. So then he goes up to her and like they go outside and the pool is candlelit and

there's lanterns everywhere and it's romantic and she's like oh my god Alex and he's like that kiss five years ago three months and six days. Oh kiss it was epic. Romeo and Juliet epic the kind of kiss that makes you want to pretend to commit suicide to the other person commit suicide and then you really keep it suicide. And you mistakenly keep kill yourself and then you then you just you have to kill yourself anyway. So that looks like such a weird turn of phrase he goes yes when I left I didn't ghost you because I didn't like you I left because my mom actually ghosted me I love my mom. We've not used to terminology ghosted when we're talking about our dead when she died family part of me died

That's gonna live in my head kind of like what's that line take you? I say magnet just expression nipples to the Manages just think most of the people to the chart against them, still trying to give a pause to the thing. Hey, chef. What? Oh, hey, chef. Listen, if you're trying to win over the girl, don't, like, don't be like, sorry, my mom died. And when she died, it's part of me, died too. What I'm trying to say is, I'm consumed with grief. Will you kiss me?

And they kiss, and then we hear, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da you here in the movie and I'm a lower level character. This was so weird. Yeah. I got this. This was to me the most disorienting thing. And do you think that they filmed his things before his little scenes before they finished the movie? Because this is what was confusing in the beginning. When they said this show has been canceled.

And I was saying like, oh, we were all saying, when was it canceled? Five minutes ago or ten years ago it's because how they phrase it he goes guys he's like America the network is not only reversing his decision to cancel the show it's going to stream it live now you don't call a show canceled that was on like 20 years ago it's not guys friends. So this is the show that you spend the time on. You don't cancel the show. Like you reboot the show. It's weird.

Yeah, that didn't even say reboot. And like, that's gonna be the first reality soap opera. You think like I feel like, which like they felt like boomers wouldn't know what reboot means, like watching this, maybe? I think that they, I think in the beginning it was like, this was, they, this was like the beginning it was like this was, this was like the season finale of the show or something.

Like they did this show and then they were gonna do this as one last to Rob before they got the show. It was supposed to be the series finale, yeah. Right, but then they changed it to be like, well it hasn't, listen, it couldn't have been recent because we'll make this kid the child who starred in this show. Okay, that makes more sense. It's like they're just making it up as it goes along.

Because this is airing Christmas day and so many people watched a show that aired on Christmas day. It's probably so popular from 30 years ago. Yeah, wow, got a whole family around. Let's all watch Lonnie Anderson on a live broadcast. I know. And then there's this very important part where he goes, we are so happy for them, especially for Lily Marlow, who was a shoe-in to now, the well-deserved daytime Emmy

for her brave, gray hair at performance. I can't think of a better way to start reading the car. Close that heart. Close that heart. But it's not true. Because we don't even know if she's nominated and or if she actually won we just know there might be a chance she closes the art. Her gray hair turned pouring gravy on Morgan Fairchild's head.

I mean, I don't understand how that's not getting an Emmy, a daytime Emmy no less. I don't know how if there were Emmys for podcasts how we wouldn't have gotten an Emmy for covering this for four hours. Listen, there was a lot of ground to cover. An hour for every diva. Well, I guess also there's five. There's five, but four that were originally going to be an hour. They were originally. Yeah, a home. From the feud, you know, we're after the feud. Yeah. Well, that was that was that was that the thing. We're like wow, I can't believe this terrible thing. Rick, let's talk about it for 97 hours. That this was the worst when we've done yet.

This is the worst. Okay, that makes me feel better because I texted Jake when I finished the movie and I said, this is I said, I kind of liked it, but I thought I thought about it as just from what it was trying to do because I despised holiday. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, Yeah, and it had Francis Fisher. And then this one is just like, it was just barely concerned with Christmas. Like there was no, like they literally did not even make it snow when they kissed outside with the lanterns. We're like, oh my God, it's snowing in LA. Like they didn't even just do any of the stupid cheesy things.

The goals were very severe. And it was very severe. And it was very severe. And it was very severe. And it showed the interns again, or whoever was open with them flowing fake snow. So why didn't they show them the fake snow? You know something, but you know, I guess this was,

I think you're right, that this was a COVID thing. And they probably, like there is literally nobody on the set except the ladies probably, you know? I really do think this was mostly shot on iPhones. And just, you know what, we got what we got. But at the end of the day, it was really good seeing all these ladies and as much as we talked, all of them, I mean, that's really cool to see all those ladies.

And that's a big, that's a great, great. I actually wanna say, except for like Lonnie Anderson in her not great moment, the what these women did with this dialogue, I thought was pretty great. Morgan Fairchild and John Grayles killed it. Yeah, I think so too. And actually, long killed it. But for Lonnie, I mean, that's always how Lonnie had her

sister's been. She was like that literally in every show she ever did. They should have made her more of like an airhead though, because that was always her character, right? She was just like a mom. It would have been still airhead. Yeah, and just in general, it would have been great if the women had any sort of personalities that

were different from each other. But you had a vamp. The director was terrible. That actress should never work again. She was absolutely awful. I still am mad about the cinnamon roll truck like i don't understand why that was there like why are you why are you putting this element in here that we never see again for the rest of the

movie no no but let's like many other elements so but i'm so glad that we got to do this i'm glad we got always happy together you guys you're kind of like that these are kind of like the men I think I have relationships with. It leaves a bad taste to my mouth at the end,

but then in a year I forget about it and do it all over again. Exactly. This is a lot of our listeners say, this is my holiday. This is my super bowl. This is my room. This is definitely like anybody I've dated where I literally write down things that I Mean to pretend never happened Lots of time codes in here to go strike strike their right strike lots to cut

Strike that strike that and strike that Thank you everyone for listening Thank you all be be sure to follow everyone on social media, much like Donna Mills' character. Social media account. Social media website. Social media website. Social media account. Social media website.

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