Watch What Crappens - #2281 Southern Charm Part 1: Valley of the Drolls

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

*This is Part One of a two-part recap Southern Charm (S09E15) ends its season by trying to convince us one last time that Taylor is anything more than a pod person and fails. Fortunately, Austen is here to act despicably and try to push the little fella off a stool to give us a nice bang-up finish. Watch with Crappens on Demand here:  http://bit.ly/crappensvideo and check out our Patreon bonus about online shopping and our holiday breaks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello, and welcome to Watch With Crappens. The podcast for all that crap. We love to talk about Honey Your Brops. I'm Ronnie, that's been over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Welcome to your show. You're looking very handsome today.

Thank you. Welcome to your show. You're looking very handsome. Your new set looks beautiful. I've been a complimenting you all week. Your lighting is just divine. It is like very professional. You know, here I thought I had caught up, I put popping the screen screen behind me and getting some lights and I'm like, I can finally like halfway decent.

I pretend like I'm in a fancy room. It's just a virtual screen. And then there goes Ron, he was beautiful. Some she was light. Good for you. Listen, you did perfect. You did the right thing. Green screen is the way to go. I mean, that room looks beautiful. And no one would know it's green screen unless you said it. So. Well, thank you.

Unless I wore my other sweatshirt that I was going to wear today, and then I would have been a floating head, which I think one day I am going to wear a green sweatshirt, and I'll just be a floating head on the show and I don't care. Well, actually, everybody Ben is wearing a now famous shirt. It's his black and white horizontal stripes. Is it normally a no-no on a gay? Of course, of course, does Ben give a fuck?

He doesn't. He's paying tribute to the gays in the airport who went viral last. Oh, you're right. Getting stuck at the airport. And one of them had a fit at the gate agent. And the gate agent would not let the month of flight and the other gay was like, you stop it.

Do you wanna get home to Shelby and Dolly? Do you? Do you wanna get home? American Airlines just fucked us. Ladies and gentlemen, American Airlines just fuck, and fuck you bitch in the wheelchair. Ha ha ha ha ha. This lady in the wheelchair is like, being right about basically being ready when we try is guys calm down. Oh fuck you bitch

So good, you're right actually technically this is actually a blue shirt But because I'm doing green screen and it kills away some recolor or so it does it's more resembling Yeah, your attribute and that was in the Charlotte airport by the way So of course it was in the Charlotte airport. I mean, what are you having a fit in the Charlotte airport? You can go sit in a rocking chair. Sitting in a rocking chair. There's a point of that airport. There's a pandemic's press and a Burger King right next to you.

There's a TCB Y. The only TCB Y I've seen in 30 years is in the Charlotte airport. Literally go sit next to the Mimma knitting shit for her grandbaby who's being nursed in the next rocking chair. It's a lane of rocking chairs, calm down, Gays. Wait, didn't we actually do a bonus episode in the Charlotte airport.

We sure did, we've done a couple. Actually, yeah, airport judgment snaps. You know, it's funny that we're talking about Charlotte because that's where JT's mom lives, doesn't it? Oh no, well, that's where they've gone to on Southern Charm. Now we're talking about Southern Charm today. What a segue way. But first before we talk about Southern Charm,

Ronnie, do you have anything to tell us? Do you have any additional tell us? Monday Monday Monday. We are announcing ticket links and the date. Well, the date for sure. Who knows? We're all just in notes with our people. We're announcing the date and the location

of the crappy awards. The golden crappies of 2024, golden a crappy awards. They're going to be bigger than ever. They're going to be more gold just than ever. Golden crappies of 2024, golden crappie awards. They're gonna be bigger than ever. They're gonna be more gold just than ever. This year Bravo has tried to do their own award show, to which we say,

ha ha! Just you wait, Henry Higgins. We will show you how it has been done and how it will remain being done. That's right. And how it will always be did. Okay? At the Golden Crabby Awards coming soon.

We'll tell you Monday. Join us on Instagram to follow us on Instagram. And we'll tell you there. And also on that recap, which will be Real Housewives of Potomac. Yeah. And, you know, we'll end up being there. Can't say for sure, but stay tuned to find out. Annette Belling, I love that too, you jump too.

I'm like, I every year, I just want some random actress to be there. Stockburn, how about Stock Lake City Burn? Mm. I just wanna say another thing about the crappies too. I think sometime over the weekend, I will probably post up a story, a few stories that will be like, hey, what are your favorite Bravo moments or Bravo Star or Bravo villains?

Because we need to start assembling the ballot. We've been jotting down notes all year round, but it's hard to remember. We're going to put up something on our Instagram, go follow Instagram.com slash watch where crap ends. And we're going to get all that info and we're going to try to like, we're going to actually do two rounds of voting this year. I'm really excited. It'll be like a big round that will whittle it down. And then this way the categories will not be so monstrously huge as they have in the past few years. So yeah, help us out and keep an eye out for those questions.

Yeah, thanks for being here keep an eye out for those questions. Yeah, thanks for being here and listening you guys. We are number one in TV and film today, which has been very exciting, because there has been another podcast who's been number one, and we've been wanting to beat them so bad, murder and Boston, which is, you know,

nothing against them, I'm sure they're great, obviously. But we've been wanting to beat them so bad, and we finally did today, so no offense to you guys, but yeah That's and we're right next to on the overall charts. We're right next to why is there then meet with Julia Louis dryface Wow, it's pretty impressive. We're number 62 in the country. So oh my god. Thank you so much. Thank you Salt Lake City Thank you Jesus wait. I just I'm sorry Ronnie. Sorry agents Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie. I

Just got a crazy text. Murder in Boston is Monica. I can't even believe it. Does she ever stop? Does she ever stop? We're gonna have so much Monica to talk about in crappy hour live Monday. Let's stop advertising things

because people really do come here to listen to re-cancel. I know, we just have like a lot of excited. We're excited. There's like a lot on excited, there's a lot on our play. I'm excited. We're excited, you know, I listen to another podcast the other day and I was like, this guy won't stop talking about his show dates. I stopped listening in 20 seconds. You know why?

Because I am the leader of the Hippocrat party. Okay. We do it for 10 minutes at a time, but you know what? But this is exciting stuff. But this is actually our most interactive show. I think it's less than not. You know, and everyone's involved, and everyone's a part of it.

And, you know, it's gonna be a great time. So, show it to your show too. Okay. What? This is advertising for your own show. Everyone's show. We all come together. We have a show.

We're all doing a show. Hi. Okay, so it's one of those days. Let's get into it. Oh, another thing. Another thing. This is actually not promoting anything. This is something to let listeners know.

We are going to, unless we run out of stamina, we're going to check in on Southern hospitality at the end of this recap. So if you're wondering, but we're going to do a little check in. We're still loving Southern hospitality. It end of this recap. So if you're wondering, we're gonna do a little check-in. We're still loving Southern hospitality. It's a great show. We do not mean to diss it over here. There's just too much going on.

There's too much. And that's it. So we're still watching it, but we'll talk about it a little at the end, like Ben said of this. I don't need to repeat everything. Because there was fun in the complaint that it's taken too long.

You see how I am? All right, let's get into it. Now, this is not just a Southern charm recap. This is also a Ronnie admitting what a stupid fuck he is episode. Welcome everybody. It's like finding the star on the Tootsie Roll Rapper. It doesn't happen often, but here what happened? So the last one we did, we did not have the screener. We did not have the full episode before we went on Christmas break. We did not have the screener. We did not have the full episode before we went on Christmas break. So we just did the six minute trailer

that they show on Bravo releases. So I was bored basically. I'm like in the show, I've had enough. And Olivia, it's too much. Like I don't want to listen to Olivia's Screamin' Austin. How shocked are we that Olivia's gonna scream in Austin? I'm over it, you know Austin's like this, she's milking it. That was my opinion, okay.

I was like, how much are we gonna torture this girl Taylor? Who deserves every lick of it, by the way? But how much like, let's just let it go, let the show end. I'm over it. So then the second after that six minute clip ends, Olivia goes to her room. So after our recap ends, I've just left for Christmas going, I'm fucking tired. Olivia's a whiner, basically.

So then we go to the commercial break. We come back from commercial break. Taylor is on the phone talking to her brother and Olivia is sobbing, legit sobbing, not fake sobbing. So I was like, oh, she really, she's not milking it. She really is upset. So at first I was already like, of course we come back from commercial

and I'm immediately wrong. This is so me, right? So then she goes and she hears what Taylor is saying on the phone and Taylor is saying on the phone, oh, whatever, I regret nothing. And it's not like she was ever with Austin anyway. She never had anything going on with Austin. I regret nothing.

Like Taylor went and had her full fucking villain edit on that balcony. And I just finished saying Olivia's full of shit. So you know what? I'm a big person, but. Wait, so I'm gonna have to admit that I was wrong. Wait, no, I'm confused though. I'm confused with your emotional arc.

So, Taylor has a villain edit moment on the balcony. Why is that redemptive for you with Olivia? It's not redemptive for me. I was wrong with Olivia. I was saying Olivia is being like, she's milking it. Oh, and that doesn't point out. There's not believing that Olivia even cares anymore.

She couldn't possibly still care. But then, and also I was kind of like, what's the big deal? I was kind of minimizing it in other words, but then we see Olivia crying and she's really crying. So I was like, okay, she wasn't just milking it. Like she's really upset. She's hyperventilating upset.

And then Taylor does not deserve any breaks. She was like, those kids, I would have gotten away with it too. And yet, you know what? You know what, I would have made Taylor less of a villain and actually I think would have been sort of redemptive, would have been when she did stand up and do her thing or any of the number of moments. I mean, she should have just said,

it would not have been smart actually. As I say this, it would not be smart because she has been struggling to eat humble pie But she should have just said at some point not to her brother But to someone like you guys weren't even a thing because by the way isn't that what we all thought is not what we all watched They went on like a few dates. They they got like some sort of cheesy tots at a bar someplace They're are there Are they not? There was a dog wedding. They were not together at the dog wedding.

She brought a hot guy that we never even saw again. Then he went and hooked up with Sierra, and then they talked by a marsh, and then they were like, maybe we should do something, maybe not, and then they had a reunion, but they were like, maybe we're together, maybe we're, they never were anything. And Taylor's right about that.

And the thing is that Taylor should have just, she should have just, at a certain point, she'll just said, you know what? Fuck you guys, you guys were never anything and you're making me have to grovel right now. What I did was wrong, but also you guys were nothing in the first place. Well, you know, other way, it worked out how it worked out.

It's just funny because I was like, man, we should do the first six minutes before we go on break. And then of course we do it. I was like, I, we should do the first six minutes before we go on break. And then of course we do it. I felt like I felt like I'm in my fucking face. Okay. Okay, so you know what? So, because of course, by the way,

we didn't mention that Olivia then goes into Taylor's room and then has such an Olivia tell off, Momushka goes, she's like, speak quiet our next time. I could hear everything. And then like runs off. Yes, I come. Here I have a wardrobe,

fucking staying and throw something across the room. And then like runs off. Yeah, I said, come here, I'm a warrior, fuck, and stay in and throw something across the room. I think her mic pack. And she threw it across the room. And something else while we're on the, where they weren't they, is this even a real thing that she should be upset about? Someone pointed out, the fact that we take 20 pages of notes on an hour of TV and still miss details,

this is a big one. I never noticed that Olivia has been wearing such a very similar version of the Ariana Roof and stress from Scandival in her. I didn't really notice that it was so similar and that they're trying to make this like a big Scandival. We knew that they were trying to play on the Scandival thing, but guys, you're no scandival. Yeah, okay. Well, scandival is sort of 2023 right now. It's all about reality bontes anyway. So I'm happy with the dendaval. Well, Southern hospitality is trying to do scandival, but we'll get to that. So I'm happy we only recap the first six minutes of the last week's episode, because honestly,

after this, what we recapped and this thing that we're talking about now, then the rest of the episode was literally just like nothing. It was like a let's just like paddle along until we get to the finale. It was like page and Craig having a dinner party with Madison and Brett pretending to be grown-ups, page like attempt like holding her nose pretending she's enjoying being in Charleston, yet another day. And that was basically it. It's just like, wow, modern farmhouse. Maybe I can get married to Craig.

I'm like, okay, okay. Am I supposed to fall for that? What else happened? Oh, well, the big thing that happened before four, right? Was, oh no, I guess we were recapped in the first six minutes. Taylor, it's like dun, dun, dun, Taylor stands up and she's like, I'm gonna end this once and for all. Yeah.

Can I have some bread? I think the continuation was, she said nothing, okay? That was the big ending. But yeah, not a whole lot happened. But now here we are at episode 915, beyond the valley of the seven doles. Yeah, yeah, because yeah. So it opens up with the image that we've all been waiting for Austin, Austin Crowl, making a smoothie and a robe. But he doesn't have milk. Of course, this is the metaphor for his life. He's just chopping up beautiful, delicious things and then not even giving them the nurturement

that they need to really flourish. And his sad makeshift, you have an erode, you know. And what is he gonna learn how to make crawlers? I mean, the brand is right there with your name for crying out loud. Boo. So, really, you wouldn't even have to use milk if you're Austin.

Just look into the container and start saying your vows. You'll fumb of that no time. So Taylor is with her little dog, Penelope, who I feel like should be taken away and given to a decent home, don't you? Or the other? I mean, do we really ever see Penelope doing anything except these fake scenes? What's your giving her eyes A, that's putting a needing disorder on your dog? B, you're always at Levas Bar with your damn day chaser, okay?

You're even on Southern hospitality again. You thirsty and sad. Promoting day chaser. Go home. Yeah, it's so sad. Go home, spend time with your children. I don't care who Penny is with. I just want her to be,

what I was, what's the lady term for being neutered? Spade, you're a spade of arms for doing that. For some reason that. These are some judgmental about dogs. You're so mean to them. I know, I know you're not a dog spade I know that you're not talking about your dog at all. I'm supposed to get your dog spayed until like they've had four periods or something. Oh, well, I didn't know that.

Then fine. You know, you could have told me that a few weeks ago. Well, I didn't know either, but you really went there and you really went and I was like, you know what, I support hatred. I love it. Well, I just felt like I was watching emails for people. I go dumbass. Don't you know how dogs work? Well, no, we don't know how to do. How dog periods work.

We don't know how human periods work. I have to say no. No periods. Listen, okay, well, I've learned. No, I'm sorry. But also, I took Zena, my dog before Bueller, I had Zena for 16 years. Go Zena. I love you, Zena. I miss you. Sorry, I replaced you. But Zena was a girl and I got her spade. I mean, right when I got her, because I thought that's what you're supposed to do. And even worse, I took her to a mobile spayer where they have, they set up like a big lot. And a big lot.

And you go and you donate 20 dollars. Big lots, a big lots parking lot. I'm sorry. Sorry I broke. Hey, but you know what, I get so important. Bob Hope is like, don't forget to do it. And Betty White was like, don't you. Dad, you know, cut that.

And where are they now? Don't you give, damn forget to spay your pet. So I, listen, Zena lasted 16 years, that's a huge amount of time. And so you know what, I think it all worked out in the end. Yeah, I'm at 48. And my mother smoked a pack of cigarettes today and drank a bottle of wine a day,

which she brags about constantly. And look at me, I'm doing great. So. Well, I'll tell you what else you're doing. Great. Craig. Little Craig, that is. Chef is feeding little Craig.

And now, would Niko? Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. We can't just go, we can't pass, I'm sorry. I'm going to make them even crazier than usual today. That's okay, it's not like I'm sick. Do you notice what? You're never going to get off the hook on this show. You could be hit by a car and I would put a microphone in front of your

face in the crosswalk. Like Ben, what did you think? You talk, I have to, I have to, I have to tend to my instrument with this T right now. Okay, Selene. Well, Selene gets to that. Chef is feeding his dog. Okay. I put, Chef is in a terrible shirt eating meat

from the bag while feeding his sad dog. He just gave him cheese. He put salami and cheese in the bowl. He put shredded cheese. Who does that? You don't give your dog cheese. Come on. Even I didn't know that.

And I had my dog spayed it. The big lot's barking lot's here. Yeah. I didn't even know that and I had my dog spade at the big lots barking lots. Wow, that does not seem prudent. I think there's a lot of dog mismanagement happening on this show. There is. There are people who shouldn't be raising dogs and I don't think he raised. I think he's, this is like it for him because once they stop shooting, he's sending that dog back to his mother's home.

We all fucking know it. We all know it. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. So then we go over to Wendy. Wendy is Face next week to Chris and my new cottage slush, pub slush, office, and then it turns out he's calling everyone and he's inviting them to a, he says, he calls up at one point when he's talking to Taylor, he says, the theme is Russ Meyers,

already sixies and softcore porn movies. Do you think that Taylor is gonna know who the hell Russ Meyers is? How many guys? She's like, I don't even know who Oscar Myers is. Nobody knows, okay, that's why it's so funny. Whitney, like trying to have this like young swinging party is like, babe, come on, he's like,

oh, Leah, Katherine Hepburn will come. I know, surely she's still around. And he tells Austin, he's like, oh, if you can be inspired by a how we're turned to Valley of the dolls or Festor Pussycat, Dylan Kill, that would be great. And Austin's like, Oh, yeah, I'll be sure to Google that. This guy, his frame of reference,

that the farthest it goes is Maverick, you know, that doesn't he make like stepbrothers comments all the time. I mean, that's your time. No, I meant Maverick, the one with James Garner, the 90s. Oh, I don't think even that far. I think Austin's pretty much like he's gonna give you a minions quote, you know? Yeah.

By the way, fun fact, beyond value of the dolls, written by Roger Ebert. Wow, there you go. Is that, that I think is legitimately fun fact? It's a fact that's got a fun fact. That is a fun fact, yeah, it is fun. That I think is legitimately fun fact. It's a fact that's got a fun fact. That is a fun fact. Yeah, it is fun. He's dead.

Okay, so then we go to the seafood house. An Olivia is in a Gucci jacket and sunglasses and she's meeting Leva and we find out that it's her brother's jacket, which is sweet. And Leva just hates being anywhere. Why is Leva on the show? Still, I still don't understand. Leva shows up with this tight smile like, hmm.

Well, look at that. Love your time. I love to stay. Listen, this is a selling point for me with Leva. I don't know. I have actually no problems with Leva. I have to admit, I really have no problems with her. She shows up.

I get as much Leva as I need for episode and, you know, moves on. Okay. Well, that's fair enough. So then, they sit and have a talk and, um, they're at a counter service restaurant. I'm kind of embarrassed for them because the southern charm, I feel like, don't you feel like you would demand three course meals every time we went to eat in southern. I mean, there's two tears. There's two tear. Don't

forget there's two tears in this cast, which is hilarious. This is truly a cast system. There are the actually wealthy cast members, Shep and Whitney, actually it's just them because of Thomas isn't there anymore. And then you have the peons. So Shep and Whitney go to restaurants, the peons go to fast casual. Yeah, well there they are. And they serve gluten-free soup, so that's good. It sounds delicious. So Olivia's like, well, oh my God, like these tables are so low. Aren't they low?

Because like you sat in it and you said how low it was. And then when I walked in the restaurant, I was like, this table is lay-o, this table is lay-o, aren't they lay-o? And then, Leva has purchased a Jamaican soda, which was probably intentional, and she's like, hmm, it has a strange aftertaste in it, and Olivia's like, sounds like our trip. Ha, ha, ha.

So Leva's basically saying, like, I was wondering how healthy it was for you to be in Jamaica with Austin. Annelivia says, you know, well, I've been so focused on working on a friendship to have him in my life, but then I feel him saying the things he thinks I wanna hear, like, yeah, this table is really low.

And he just knows, he just knows the right things to say. I just, you need better right things to say. I see it. That's my advice. Get better right things to say. Because we see what she means and he's saying, I'll just, at the end of the day, I do love you, I love you.

I do love you. That's not what I need to hear somebody say. I need to hear somebody say, don't worry about keeping your phone open. I've got the dominoes track or open on my. There's seven minutes away. Hector is seven minutes away. That's the right words to me. I just need more than like, I love you. Who cares? Who cares if you love me? Feed me. I do appreciate love saying when Olivia is like, well, I've been working hard on this friendship, but I feel like Austin just says what he just said, what he just says, what he thinks sounds

right. And Leva is saying, you know, that's so wrong knowing where you're at. Like I just, I'm just glad someone finally said to her, you realize this is fucked up, this is not right. And then Leva tells us that basically Olivia is in a really fragile place and that everyone should be really conscious of how they're, what you're saying to her and acting around her because you know her feelings are very you know in a sense of the place. Yeah and she's like yeah well it is real weird because like I'm inconsistent with my feelings because like one minute I'll be

saying to him like I hate you but then the next minute we're like cracking jokes and like flirting with each other and then we see they're like, whirlwind romance of flirtation. Like, she's like, ah, she's like, ah. It's just that kind of idiotic flirtation that nobody else really understands. And I will still stand by this

that they might end up together one day because they both have the same mouth actions winning. What does it do? They really do. It's jarring to see those tongues working together without even touching. So Olivia's like, you know, being around him, I'm like, let me rewire things.

I don't want to fight every time I see him. So let me figure out the friends thing, which again, so like, I know I do this every week. This is like, why does like Austin get a pass and Taylor doesn't? And I'm not saying Taylor should get a pass. But like, again, why do you even care to be friends with him? Like why do you need to rewire him? You're like, oh, I don't want to fight with him when I see him.

Well, you also probably don't want to fight with Taylor, but you're not putting in any effort with Taylor. So I just feel like I hate that Olivia gives Austin second passes. It's less about Taylor, it's more about further evidence that she, that like, this is how he fails upwards of life. Yeah, it is, but you know, and this is something that kind of takes away from the enjoyment

of just pretending everything's real at all times, but this show is really evident. This episode is really evident. I mean, look, she needs to stay on the show. She wants to be on the show. She doesn't live there. She lives in LA. She comes to Charleston to do the show, right? I mean, I think everybody pretty much knows that by now. Or she's very rarely in Charleston. She's basically back there to do the show. It didn't work out with Austin. They brought on a new love interest for her, which was Rod. He's like a spluttering fail. Like, I don't even know how.

He's not even a big fail. He's just like a sad, wet fart of a fail. And so that's not going to work. And she needs somebody to shoot with on the show. Like, who's it going to be? I mean, they cannot keep building another season around Taylor and Olivia. They just can't do it. So I think she's just trying to work things out with Austin to have someone to shoot with.

Because Taylor's doing the same thing. Taylor can't, I mean, Taylor is looking so desperate, but she must have still be on the show. So she's gonna keep going with, I'm gonna fuck Austin or I'm gonna fuck Shep. One of the ways, one of these is gonna work out. And then you've got JT who's just like trying to pin everything on Taylor.

It's like you're trying to pin your hopes on someone who's trying to pin their hopes on someone all to keep on all to get your vote. I don't know. I don't know. And free soup for free at the end of the day. I don't think it's purely show-motivate. I don't I do believe that like Taylor has some major damage and she's like drawn to like she must have daddy issues. She's drawn to like like she must have daddy issues. She's drawn to like that she likes Austin because he's tall. And he says the right things. And she's very susceptible to, like, if you say the right thing to Taylor,

she's going to fall for you unless you're under a certain height threshold. And so I don't think it's purely that Taylor has ulterior motives of, like, I just want to be on this TV show. I think that, like, if she really was, if she really wanted to be on the TV show, that was her pure true motivation. I think that like, if she really wanted to be on the TV show, that was her pure true motivation.

I think she would work harder to actually have a personality. So I think that like she, like there's, that could certainly be in the mix, but I think that it's like, I would not- On the south, I mean, she's personality. Austin's personality is that he's tall and blonde and her personality is that she's pretty in blonde. Sometimes that's really all you need in the south. Sometimes that's all, you know what you're right, sometimes that's all you need to get

by in many places, not just the south. I mean, the fact that she was out and she met Shepp and Austin in one night and Austin supposedly said, if you don't take her home, I'm gonna take her home. I mean, that's what they settled on the show a few weeks ago. I mean, to me, it's like, yeah, it's, to me, it's shown motivated. I mean, why, why else would you talk to Shep and Austin? I don't know. There's a lot of people. There's a lot of, you know, you know, we, there's a lot, there's a lot of mysteries in this world. So it's like math. I don't have to understand it to know it's there. Okay. Yeah. This is specifically like like, this is specifically like calculus,

and specifically the part of calculus that pertains to derivatives. So, and limits. So Olivia is saying that, I think, she's like, I think I was hanging on to the tiny shred of hope that Austin would change, but after Jamaica, I'm done with him, but I'm done with him.

I'm gonna go watch Step Brothers, that is how's later to that. Yeah, well, it's also the end of the season. So it's pretty easy for everybody to finally be like, and now I'm finally done with fucking Taylor. Okay. Now I'm finally on the last day of shooting. I'm now done with Taylor. So, um, so JT's event space, uh, which, you know, he's probably living in this at this point, he's just living. He's just accepted that he's just living in this other Event Space, right? Yeah.

So I really, really enjoy JT this season. I think he's been a great addition to the show, and I think I really like he brings like a different energy for the men. That being said, I am a little concerned, and I'm actually more than a little concerned. I'm quite concerned about his like Kyle Cook, Tom Sande of all, like silliness on camera chick that he's sort of leaning into. I don't like when those guys do it anyway, but I also feel like J2U just got here, so you really, like I don't feel like you've earned the goofy thing just yet.

And I don't even think it should be something that should be earned. I don't think we should have it. But it's like Kyle cook putting on the wig and all that stuff. You just roll your eyes, you're like, okay. That's what JT is doing in the scene. He's like, hey Rod, come on over. Check out this look. I'm going to wear it at the 60s party.

So he's got his leather vest on and and he's like it's all tight on him He's like, what do you think? What do you think Rod? Yeah, um, JT is terrifying to me and because I feel like he's a scary stalker Also, I did just watch Saltburn and there are some similarities I'm just going to say I'm not going to spoil it for anybody who hasn't seen it. It was good Man, it wasn't the most brilliant thing in the world. It was good. It was worth a watch kind of about JT. Kind of about Monica also. People are comparing it to Monica. Um, JT, there's more of the sexual element as well where Monica, that's a huge part of the movie and that's missing

I think from the Monica comparison. But you watch it and you tell me, can't it? Just gonna diss everybody's Monica comparison. I guess, I see what you're saying, though, in the fact that I could imagine JT enjoying a certain beverage. Yes. And just the whole waiting until someone has finished bathing to like slurp up that, you know, it's just like you can kind of imagine it because his girlfriend, his ex girlfriend,

we'd mentioned this, his ex girlfriend was on TikTok saying that he was kind of a stalker and that he was, he moved Charleston and some kind of an RV or something down by the river, got down by the river, and basically stock the cast to be their friends and get on this show. He does have that saltburn kind of element going on. What was the other thing about it? Yeah, the thing that scares me about him is the obsession with Taylor. I don't like it. My prediction has always been he's one of those guys. It pretends I'm the nice guy.

You know, it's the nice guy narrative. I'm the nice guy. Nice guys never win. And if you don't like me, it's because you're a dumb bitch. You know, and I've been waiting for that part to come out. And it does come out a little bit today. And I'm not shocked that I'm right about somebody, but I'm worried because that only gets worse.

It doesn't get better with people, you know? Well, I would not be surprised if JT has is like doing the fake nice guy thing, but for right now all I have is the nice guy thing from him. So I'm actually okay with it. And if next season, you know, he is then unmasked, then great, I'm excited for it. I'm happy to.

I love your attitude. And I think it's a very difficult job for you today because I'm just every person we mention I'm just sitting on them and telling you what they hate them and then you're like no here's why they're not hateable and I think that's good we need that because I'm not saying here's why it's long with me it's like 2024 and I'm like you know what he's a stalker possibly a murderer. No no no, no, no, this is, it's not, it's not, it's just, it's what it is, what's, what's very funny and this often happens is that you have more of a conspiratorial view of people.

Yes, well, I don't trust them because they're only saying this to be on the show. Oh, don't trust her. The way she just, she just chose a sprite but she secretly likes to set it up, but she did that because she wanted to be on the show. Well, I'm like, I like that, she would drink Sprite, you know? I'm like very much like whatever the show gives me,

I'll accept. But the thing is though that I'm the one that usually winds up having to eat crow. I'm the one who like, I go like, I'll be like, I love this person. And then all of a sudden it's like this person is a racist. And I'm like, well, all right, there we go. Yeah.

Yeah, you wait for the proof. Yeah, you wait for the proof. I don't wait for the proof. Which is good, you know. So then we go, I mean, for you, not for me. I'm a terrible person. I like it. I like having an narrative that to me, I'm just accepting it. I like the story that you're telling me.

Maybe not good for life, but I enjoy it. You know, it's like, I listen. I'm a wrestling fan. I love the hills. You know, it's like, I listen, I was, I'm wrestling fan. I love the hills. You know, I don't care if you just give, just package the package, the content, the way you want to package it and give it to me and I will accept it. Unless I decide I don't want to accept it, which I also always reserve the right to, I'll suddenly be like, no, but, you know, that's why I am. Yeah, I hear you. I love who you are. You know, still for reasons. I love who you are.

I trust who you are. There. How's that? I trust who you are too. Even though you're literally only talking to me right now to be on the show. Still. The only reason why Ben's been talking to Ronnie for 12 years is so he can be on a podcast. Okay.

So JT's sad mom's event space really does not even listen to his mother. For someone who says mommy and Britanns that he respects his mother so much, he still has that terrible couch with those terrible pillows, both are offensive. I'm his mommy covering my face with my peshmeena during this scene. Yeah. So basically, JT, he's got a lot on his mind. He finally gets out of his towel and puts on some clothes,

but he's sort of in his costume. And he's like, well, I guess I'll lie down for this, right, because it's like therapy. So like I might stop it, stop it. No, no, no, you've not earned a fake therapy scene. You sit in that sofa properly and do your scene. So, so then he's badly talking to Rod about it. He's talking about how, you know, he's always had feelings for Taylor, but like now he's realized

they're not just like a little crush. It's like they're, they're real, they're real feelings. I'm like, I'm pretty sure it was fairly evident they were real feelings since the very first episode when you started getting mad at the guys from either treating Taylor. Uh, yeah went into this friend group, you liked one of their girlfriends and you've been planning for her ever since. I don't know what's so confusing, but you probably should go to a real therapist. Now before I say this next part, I'm checking my own nose for boogers because JT has a bat in his cave during this scene. Also, my face is peeling off because I got a chemical peel. Hi. And I'm vastly unshaven because I have a cold this week. And when I have a cold, I become insulin.

And I'm like, I'm not going to do anything, you know? I don't include so. So these two nerds that keep amping each other up until one of them is in prison. That's my note for this scene. Because JT is like, you think she likes me? And Roth's like, definitely, you should totally make a move. It's like, really?

Think she likes me? Yeahott's like definitely, you should totally make a move. It's like really think she likes me? Yeah, bro. Go for it. You know what you should do? Propose in front of everybody. That's what you should do. You know what you should do? You should take her up onto the very, very top

of the Swiss Alps where she can't get away and then propose to her. Yes, our JT is like, you know what? I'm gonna say, I'm gonna tell her. I'm nervous, can you tell? Like, listen, to not, okay, I'm not gonna say a little Austin. I'm not bringing up how I feel about Tete Taylor. I'm just gonna go to the party and have a few snacks and go on my way.

And Rod's like, hey bro, you stuck that Austin comment in there real slowly, huh? And he's like, yeah, well, I just don't have any respect for Austin. I mean, candidly, if I'd never say another thing to him for the rest of my life, I am good with that. And I realized in Jamaica, that Austin cares about no one but himself. Deep down, he's a self-serving, insecure, me first, coward. Okay, you're not wrong, but you're also chasing someone that is pretty obviously not into you, which

kind of shows that you also only care about yourself, which also goes to show that you're probably good casting. Because one thing I will say about JT that I can see for the future is he's going to get a lot worse. So he's not casting. I feel like he's a little, he's a little try hard right now, but I think, but I think it's good casting. It's good energy.

Like, you know, he's in here. Here's the thing. He's in here. It's good little try hard right now, but I think it's good. It's good casting. It's good energy. Here's the thing. He's interesting. It's good terrifying energy. Good terrifying energy. With surprising body, that's always, that's also funny with JG, that he, like, surprisingly has a really good body. Okay, so now we go to Madden.

He's on their bodies, so I'm fun. I'm fun with that. I'm a better person than you, so. Yeah. I charge them in nice ways. I don't charge them if their body is bad, but if their body is good, I give them, I'm like, hey, good for you. So we now go to Madison's house and she's doing her hair and then Brett comes in with

some champagne and then she starts doing his hair and he's like, no more champagne for breakfast once you get that baby and you, and she's like I'm looking forward to it Can't wait to have a little alphans at Ketu Madison's voice today. I apologize will not be happening I'm gonna stick in the shape of my Grab a little excited for that. Oh my god Honestly, I'm scared. I'm gonna get fat and pissed off. He's like I don't care. I'm a guy I'm sick right now. Am I pregnant? It's the season for now. Hold on. I'll do that right now. I was born for calling, but

today, corn wouldn't want for me. She took her vitamins. That's what happened. But then it turned out that it was just corn kernels. So, um, and then we go to Patricia's house, and Patricia's like, when, oh, she's in a wheelchair, and she's like, the wedding is gonna come up. Let's go over there, and so she's with Paul, her healthcare attendant. Well, I, the healthcare professional, and he does skincare, eyeliner, blush.

He even clamps the jumper cables on Randy's nipples when they just get too heavy for these little tiny hands. Hey, can do anything. Wish I knew his name. So she's like, Hey, person who's wrote, how can I call your wheel roller? Hey, WR. Hey, can you tell Winnie to bring me peaches and then ball goes down stairs and tells Winnie, hey, your mom wants some peaches. This is a classic comedy of errors. Talk about peaches, the dog guys. Winnie's like, okay, peaches, peaches, come on, peaches, don't run. Peaches, don't run.

Peaches is just barking at him, running away, and then running in a circle in the parking. I don't want to go up there. Peaches, peaches for you, peaches for being the peaches. Not for Patricia. Peaches is so sick of hearing how inferior a Randy is. He can't fucking take another moment. So Whitney grabs another dog named Roy instead and he goes upstairs He like heard it. I'm fortunate. I'm fortunate. I couldn't get a PJs so I got the next best thing.

Ramby! No. Roy. No, I'm sorry mother. Unfortunately an ironing board fell on top of Randy this morning And he's been trying to figure out how to get out from underneath it. So it's been pretty funny. He haven't helped him You want to go downstairs and see it? So he tells her that tomorrow is the christening for the cottage and He's doing an homage to the beyond the valley of the tals and she's like uh what kind of thing is that? hmm oh mother it's a software movie from the mid-60s oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Everyone knows who Russ Meyers is. I'm sure Olivia has an entire wall dedicated to him and his work. Malice, and after a lot of work and money, Patricia's face does not move at all. But the soul in the eyes is there.

And just the utter disappointment in this moment. She's like, wow. Did you invite any young ladies who aren't working for you? And he's like, no, you can't rush things. You know, you gotta find the right girls. My camera's things, you're 54. I don't think that anyone would accuse you

of rushing anything. So he's like, I mean, look, it's easy for you to stay because you'll just marry someone after a month. And she's like, well, having had three husbands, I don't know if that had any effect on his outlook on marriage, but I want him married. Now I did it after a couple of minutes. I don't know I he can. You know, it's something to think about winning you, not Randy. That's for sure. He's stuck under an iron board right now. I'm going to depend on you to kick the bucket that I will on top of Randy's head every single day. That's how I want to live on just a new dawn.

And to this side of Randy's temple. It was actually kind of a big deal. I'm going to be able to do a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of every single day. That's how I want to live on just a new dawn into this side of Randy's temple. It was actually kind of a bittersweet or not been bittersweet. Like a slightly melancholy moment because she tells us that she wants we need to have a family and he's an only child and having his father passing away, then her going through this accident seems like life is slipping away. And like, it's interesting because it always be like, oh, she just wants to marry him off. But I can see that she's concerned that like, he's going to be just like alone in the world. And like, all the people that are around him are totally incompetent.

So like, who will take care of him when he's, when he's old and needs to be taken care of? Not so much. So it's fucking someone you pay for. Okay. So you don't have to pretend to fucking like that's what I say. Here's who's going to take care of them. The remaining members of Renobs. Okay.

Unless not just that. That is valid. That is a valid existence. Maybe you'll be a what's her face from season one. Can't even remember her name. Not even worth it. Yeah, it's not Becca. So everyone gets ready and we find out,

did we know at this whole time that his cottage, have we heard about this cottage? I don't think so. Last week we did. We did? Last week he mentioned that the cottage was where Michael was living. And so now when he's taking it over and he's renovated it and turned it into kind of his

like, a lot of actual pads where he like lives, but it's also like a bar space. So he's like, this way I don't ever have to go out to bars in Charleston. Oh, okay. So it's right at Patricia's house, this new cottage. And the party rentals are arriving and setting up

and everything. And let's see, page and crack are driving over. And page is like, um, well, so why is this party in the 60s? Is that when Whitney was born? I'll get it. Yeah, and then before that, they're getting dressed. And crack is like, hey, page, are you gonna wear this green dress? Or is it like, yes, Craig, of course, I'm gonna wear it.

I bought it like seven years ago and I've been like, waiting for some time. I was like, I'm gonna buy this dress because I know at some point in my life, I'm gonna go to some stupid party and some super part of this country yet have to wear it. And here it is, this is the moment, Craig. And he's like, hey Siri, what do you have? What year do you have to be born if you're currently 54 years old? 1969. What year do you have to be born if you're currently 54 years old? 1969 what an amazing job they've done with that little robot assistant I know I know even open the calendar. You don't even need open the calendar anyway

I mean the the calculator on your phone any catch even just say I was also he's asked it in such a strange way Why doesn't it say me? Hey Siri what is 2023 minus 54, you know? Yeah, they really improved that. Is 1969. Thank you. Wait a minute. Oh, okay, that's enough. Is that the year that we went to the moon? And he's like, oh, what do you think we never went back? I think because it was fake, of course. I, you know, I can't get in Wi-Fi, and Stern Mary is in Charleston,

but we went to the moon and stringed it to everyone. I don't think so. So then before that, then Erica and Whitney are, Whitney is in now in the backyard and Erica the party planner is there. And she is like setting stuff up and Whitney's being really awkward around her because it's like a lady.

And so he's like, oh, oh, oh, so, oh, oh, you look nice and everything. She's like, yeah, like your jacket. She's like, yeah, oh, oh, oh, something, oh, casual for daytime, mother. And she's like, so, are you wearing two types of glasses today? I mean, I don't know what you want me to say to you. Oh, yeah, these were non-prescription. And I have them in case I have to read my phone for for something very, very important, you know. But it looks like the weather's going

to stop in half an hour. So, yeah, she's like, I know. So the weather's gonna stop. I know. It's like, wow, I can't believe this guy hasn't been able to fight a girlfriend in all these years. I know. It's crazy. It's like, it's gonna range. She's like, I have tarps to find the item. Okay, are you sure? Yeah. Also, if you can't get your shit together by the time your mom's passed, I've just been asked to cover you in wine. Pick your color. So the tarps do come out because it starts pouring rain and Paige gets out of the car and she's like, good thing I wore rain bits because I'm a genius, unlike you stupid idiot Craig.

Come on, hurry up. And they're just getting wet and they're all arriving in the rain. So Shep looks the part. He looks like a creepy, washed up director. That was like, I thought he looked good, actually. I thought the look works for him. Well, there he goes. Creepy guy gonna come onto a bunch of like 20-year-old people

who wanna be at our suits. Yep, yeah. And he's like, my name is, my name is Deeter. I'm from Doosledorf. Oh, Taylor is the different country, stupid. I like art and fashion and new wave, bar. And then it cuts the Taylor or Taylor's in glam with her roommate Louise.

We haven't seen in like weeks and weeks and weeks. Louise must just hate Taylor. I just feel like Louise is only in it at this point to be invited to a party and she finally got the invitation this time around. So Taylor's like, so the other day, Chef texted me and was like, we'll have a conversation at the party and Louise is like, oh really, like regarding what?

Oh. She's like, really? I have no idea about like, he's like, we're gonna talk. Luis is like, I know it's like really difficult for you just being his friend, Taylor. I got it. Yeah, well, our friendship has been confusing. Everyone's still like, he loves you.

And Luis is like, well, I've always said it. Actually, I think what I've always said is, I'm sorry I wasn't listening. Could you say that again? I'm doing something just significantly more interesting than whatever you're talking about. I've always said it because I'm extremely bored but too old for toys. He still loves you, Taylor. Now, go run around in circles and put tracking devices on his car because honestly, it's hilarious. I've got to get back to the bachelor now. So Taylor's just saying that her interactions with Shepp lately happened actually really good

and they've been able to have a good friendship and maybe there might still be something there. No, Taylor. God, Taylor. You left them for a reason. Like yes, you guys have kept. She left. I don't think she left him.

Or he did. Did he break up with her did he I forget either way he wasn't good for you Taylor. Yeah I don't remember what happened there but she she still wants back in and I don't know. It's just cringey please listen you haven't done the right thing a whole lot this season but I still

want the best for you like this is not it No, it's not it Honestly, it really is not So now we have Austin getting dressed which is always exciting and his sister Katie is there and he's Katie is gonna come with Austin to the party tonight and Austin's just saying that he's really hoping that Olivia's gonna apologize Austin's just saying that he's really hoping that Olivia's gonna apologize to him. So, he's a sociopath, right? Yeah, I'm not supposed to. I know we're not supposed to say, like, guess people's whatever afflictions, mental

afflictions, but at this point, I mean, come on. Like how long do we have to watch this show before everyone just looks at each other and they're like, okay, he's a sociopath. Because who says that? You expect her to apologize to you? And then his sister laughs in his face and he's like, annoyed at her. Like, yeah, yeah, I do expect it.

And then he's like, I can't walk on eggshells anymore around all these people. Oh, so he's the real victim in all this. Because he wants to walk on eggshells. Oh my God, you're an egg breaker and omelette maker. Yeah, just with your tongue alone. So now it's worth the cottage. And so people are arriving.

So Austin and Katie show up, now this is to me, this sums up Austin. I don't know if he knows this. They show up, they both have like cases of, of Trop Hop. It's raining. And he just goes, he just goes, like he just speeds up ahead of his sister. So you know, as he just leaves his sister in the dust,

and he just walks in, and she just, like, comes in behind, and I know that she's not like a date or anything, but I just think it's like, if you were arriving at a party together with someone, that you just like walk ahead like that, I don't know, I just thought it was, it's just like, it just shows how self-involved, how classless he is, how like, borish he is.

I just thought it was like so, like, I don't want to say ungentlemanly. It's not just like so obnoxious to do. You bring someone to a party and then you just go up ahead. If you know there's a reason why Dorenda got medley, got mad at Heather Thompson all those years ago and it's for moments like these. Yeah. And also nobody wants your trop slop. Get to the fuck outta here.

Stop trying to promote yourself at everybody else's thing or gross, okay? It's a gross. So he's like, let's talk. By the way, I don't think he's trying to use just like, I don't think he's trying to promote himself. I think he's just trying to get rid of inventory at this point. My parents won't keep this in their garage anymore as that. Yeah, I got to pawn it off.

So, Shep sees Taylor talking to Craig and Shep just keeps giving her these awkward looks, like awkward angry looks, you know how Shep does when she talks to literally anybody else and starts chugging down the brown liquor. And then he's like, hello, Louise, I'm Louise. Hello, and Taylor is, she's like, wow, I can, I can tell Bailey's back in town, chef, because you got a haircut. I was like, well, I forgot about Bailey, invoking Bailey, spoiler alert on Southern hospitality,

we also had another flash from the past. The one in only land and showed up. So it's real. Just another mark on JT's card. JT's like, oh my God, one of my best friends. I know, by the way, that was a pretty bad idea. I forget what, that is an issue for me. That is an issue.

Don't say you're here and try to tell me everything's okay with JT when he's bringing you to the show. Yeah, that's a good old thing. He brought. Yeah, she is, yeah, it always reminds me of how vast and wide the Southern term universe is. There's so many people in it.

And most of them are awful. So, Chef is saying, it tells us, he's like, you know, I'm a harsh, I might not be at this point in time to be able to have friendship with Taylor because this just is not working. I was like, oh, is he, that means he found another girl. He's found another girl. So he's got a severed friendship with Taylor.

Well, my guess is what he was doing this whole season was they put Taylor on the show, obviously, to beat, to have drama with him. And so he was like, okay, I'm just going to suck it up and kind of lead her on a little bit throughout the season. So it's like minimize the damage to me. And now that it's a season finale, he's like, okay, and now we're officially fucking done. So please get off of my show. But are they together again? I don't know.

But we see a flashback to last week where Shep and Winnie had a conversation where Shep talked about how Taylor showed up on announced at his house. And Shep was like there at his house with a couple of girls. And she just showed up and he's starting to worry that like she's been leading her on, which normal I'd be like, oh, you're so self-involved, but then we did just your Taylor

say, makes me think that there still might be something there because this friendship is going so well. So it's like, yeah, Jay, T and Taylor, you're both stalkers and two stalkers can't make it together. You know what I mean? You need somebody to follow. You can't just be both of you. You can't be following each other. Like one stalker, you need to have it like a stalker and a

victim. You can't just have two stalkers. Yeah. So um, chef, chef says he wants to draw some lines in the sand. So now, uh, Levian Leva show up and Olivia bless her heart. She doesn't know how to bring in the umbrella through a gate. She's like, how do I do this? And she like lifts it super, super high to get it over her. And Leva just like puts it sideways and goes through and Olivia's like, oh yeah, I guess I could have done that. And so she's like, honestly, it's like a relief to not have to act like I'm friends with Tyler or Taylor sees her and she goes, well, I was hoping to make amends in Jamaica, but like, I literally did everything I could when I said Austin and Olivia never even dated and I regret nothing.

So just can't do anymore. Yeah, Taylor, you got to work on that. So, Austin, like, with Olivia, and then there's more drinking and then Madison and Brett show up and Whitney is like, oh, you look like a Porto, Jackie O. You got the reference? She's like, who's that? All his reference. I love it. I just wait for his, he's gonna be like, she looked like, he looked like a horny patty-duke. I would join you on that, but we pretty much reference empty nest and sisters twice a week.

That is a full 20 years younger than what he's references. So like there isn't there's a Sasha limitations. So Venita comes with her boyfriend and it's not that I have a problem with Manny. Okay, I really don't. Just just for Charles. What the hell? Charles had a whole arc this season. He tried on sweaters. And now guess what? It's the season finale and I don't get Charles in a sweater. Like, did you ask Charles what to wear tonight? Because I wouldn't know it from watching this show. Justice for Charles. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I was pretty happy not having to have a Charles free episode to be honest. So, um, then not to, not to like, know about you,, but you know, it's hard for me to really rally for Charles. I'm not gonna lie. You know, Charles is only wearing

those sweaters to be on TV show. Charles has only been the this friend to be on this TV show. He's just a user. Just like the rest of them. So, yeah, so then there's more hugs and kisses, and then Rod and JT show up. And JT of course is like, hey Taylor, you're cold, do you want my vest to warm up? You need this? Bobby Nasrat, do you love me now? You're welcome. It's like I'm a gentleman from the 60s. She's like, no, no, it's okay.

And then Shep is looking at them funny. And then chef is looking at them funny. And then Austin's looking at them funny. And they're, Austin's doing this. There's a lip-lick thing. And then Madison goes up to say hi to Patricia and her gigantic iPad. And she's like, you look very nice, Patricia. So I didn't know you were doing pink today, but I'm in pink to look at your babies. I've never seen them so contine. Those babies are more contained than Randy in the back of my trunk at the moment. Hold on, let's baby.

Let's baby cam Randy. Randy, you okay down there? Please. I'll me whatever you want. Please. Hello, hello, Randy. I like that Madison forces Brett to like come join and like pour them champagne and then walk away because she goes, I want you to go. Brett, let's go.

She's like, they're just like talking. She just works at him, says, better come this way. So we'll see if tell them, go get us some cube glasses because those are her favorite glasses. And then he comes up, were those cube glasses? I think they were. They were, they were just a different shape,

cube glass. They look like flat and to martini glasses. I agree. I agree, they were not. I don't have the, I don't have the breed to know about. There were like, prices are not. They were like a play on cheap classes. I'm sure Miss Patricia, the art history of major that she is would say, these are actually from the Bauhaus movement at that time. The brutalist artist, when denied like curves, they wanted everything to be the straight lines and angled

And that's why me's a van der Rohe. He built that building Chicago. So it reflects the edifice of a of a keep a modern basketball You show said my name a lot tonight miss Patricia. Oh god call the police It's the ginger gay back from the dead it's the ginger gay back from the dead. Hopefully everybody at this party has been escorted by someone of the opposite sex. Just the way it was always intended to be in Charleston where I'm not from. Oh Cooper, the original gay of Southern charm. We really need some updates on Cooper.

I think that they should bring Cooper back. You know like how they brought Naomi back just for a little bit, just bring it back for a season. Let's see. He's probably coaching pageant somewhere and being like, oh well, I'm sorry, I will not. I have to leave this practice right now because my wife needs me, excuse me, and I am married. Just have to leave this practice right now because my wife needs me.

Excuse me. And I am married. I just haven't seen her yet. She's been in Europe. So, Madison is talking about having a baby with Patricia. And she's like, well, last time you had a baby, as I was an op recall, you were gone for three months. And she's like, yeah, because I broke my pelvis and I was on bedrest.

And Patricia just looks at her like, this hair ain't gonna come itself, your little bitch. No babies for you. You know, that's what I think about Whitney as an only child and when I kick the bucket, he doesn't have cousins and math and stuff like, well, you're not gonna kick the bucket. I'm sorry I meant when I kick Randy. You know, he doesn't have cousins and math and stuff like well you're not going to kick the bucket.

I'm sorry I meant when I kick Randy, you know, he doesn't have any cousins that he can, you know, have circle around watch just him watching. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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