Watch What Crappens - #2282 Southern Charm Part 2: Valley of the Drolls

Episode Date: January 6, 2024

*This is Part Two of a two part recap Southern Charm (S09E15) ends its season by trying to convince us one last time that Taylor is anything more than a pod person and fails. Fortunately, Austen is here to act despicably and try to push the little fella off a stool to give us a nice bang up finish. Watch with Crappens on Demand here: http://bit.ly/crappensvideo and check out our Patreon bonus about online shopping and our holiday breaks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I don't know. They're so excited. Like, you get these at Gwyn's? Yeah, I got it at Gwyn's. Yeah, bro. And then it also goes to show you that Gwyn just doesn't care about you. That girl does not care about her customers if she could do that to people. You would know that they're on the same show.

Where are you letting them buy the same shoes? Gwyn. You know know that they're on the same show, where are you letting them buy the same shoes? Gwen? You know what, that store needs a good reliable intern to really help the customers. They really need someone to like, advertise for the most social media. Okay, so Olivia hugs Rod and she's doing that Olivia thing where she's like,

oh, where Rod's like, something funny, something funny and she's doing that Olivia thing where she's like, oh, we're rods like Something funny something funny and she's like Please get please stop making me part with Rod for the cameras, please She's like if I had a dime for every time Rod and made me laugh I would be the way the cookie crumbles. He's like, that's not what that expression, that's not how you say it. So, um, so, Jay, he's like, hi Tyler, uh, you want to talk over here, like a few feet away from everyone else. Okay, cool.

So, uh, hey, oh, the rain's in my quaff. So, look, I'm wet. I got long wet hair now. Ha ha. Hey, so, uh, you know, you're one of my best friends. You and maybe, basically, poppy seed. Thought, lovely dog, then my mama. I guess my mom's, okay, mom must number one, poppy seed number two, but you're number three, okay? And so in Jamaica, we're having fun.

Like, we were laughing the whole time. Mainly, I was laughing and you were staring at me and I laughed really loud and I said, I'm laughing for both of us, remember? So that was basically you laughing too. Anyway, we spend every flat side by side, even that flat where you're like, actually we can have different seats.

And I was like, no, no, all sit here. And you're like, we really don't have to sit next to each other. And I was like, no one insists. So we really had a lot of fun, a lot of fun. And she knows what's coming. She's just looking at him so awkwardly, drinking, like looking around for an exit, you know?

And she's like, yeah, Mall when I need to can me to relief You're my guy. Oh That's even beyond the friends. Oh I mean, we've seen friend zone, but that's how do you how do you push through the friend zone? I've never heard of the comic relief zone. That's just That is that was brutal Ronnie that's just so. That is that was brutal. All right. Been there.

But yeah, I was like, we're on TT run. Like there's no no time in history as anybody ever said. When I need comic comedic relief, I know you're the one I want to marry. Nobody. Nobody.

So, T T's like, well, I just need to say something and get it off my chest, which at this point, look, I don't think he's a stupid person. So I think at this point, he knows she's gonna say no because of what she just said, but it's more important for him to get hurt on camera by her so he can turn her into a villain later. That's what, shall we?

Well, every time we hung out, it was just constant laugh and joy, even when you were crying and saying, please get out of my house, you're not supposed to be here. I mean, that's just so rare to find, right? And she goes, well, I obviously love our friendship. And I know you love our friendship. And I just want wanna say in life,

their steamships and other ships, but the most ship of the ships is the friendship, which is you, you're a friendship. You're like, you're a friendship, friendship, friendship. Friendship. I love you. Friendship. What are you not hearing, sir? What are you not hearing?

And he's like, I would marry you tomorrow. And she's just like awkward drinking from her, you know, just kind of drinking and looking around. So then, Vemita gives a jacket to Olivia to sit on outside, because it's, you know, little rain god on the furniture. And she goes, more of a gentleman than Austin's ever been. And then Austin comes over, he's like, hey, man.

Let's go talk. Let's go talk. Let's go talk. Let's go talk. I want to go talk. And we need to go, she's not going to do that. But it'll look like, no, I'll do it. It's fine.

I just love the way Austin just comes, it's just demands that they talk. So they go back to JT because, no, now I just want to tell you a pretty lady, you know, it's there for me. Everything is there for me. Okay, I mean, look at this bow that I got right now. It's poking right through my vintage jeans. You see that, right? It's because, yeah, well, we haven't crossed that friendship threshold. So, it's like, what if, you know, like, what if you, what if you hated it? Like, you don't know, I could, I could be a total psychopath He's like honey

I've been watching this season along with the rest of America. I'm not part of it. Okay. You've got a free ticket with me It's like you are a total psychopath and you know why it's psycho to me knowing we could die tomorrow To not give it a try sir No, this is she said not how many times does she have to say, no, walk away, please you fucking creep. So they're sad music and she and she's now giving them looks like what the hell's going on over there? And she's like, well, I just think that there's a lot

going on and she's still here and you know, I need to process and to heal and you know to move forward. And then she tells us I mean listen, he's not the only one constantly disappointed by Taylor because you know I want things to be okay with Taylor. But I just, I know they're not because I listen to what she says. She's like, I wish I could wake up and just make JT my person, but I like the assholes. Girls just want a bad boy. I hate that so much.

I hate that too. It's like the worst boys will be boys. So then Shep and Drops, and he's like, gosh, he didn't comment on my leather jacket. Where's yours JT? And Taylor's like, oh, I, oh, I, oh, I guess she said that's Taylor's, because I didn't wear it because it's not very 1960s. And then Shep just goes over and he's like,

oh, JT, you look like an early Justin Bieber hoggarsh. Yeah, every time Shep or Austin talks to JT, they have to make him as small as possible. He's like, wow, nice work, Bieber. And Taylor's like, bye, appreciate the talk. A bad boy incoming. So JT's like, well, I just want to make sure there's no awkwardness between us. And I'm just going to go back to his press and my feelings. He's listening. There's a saying about how the good guy never wins. Well, except for Braveheart, the good guy always wins. So maybe I'm not the one, but one day eventually,

Taylor is gonna find a good guy. Guys like Austin will lose. I'm like, unfortunately, she will not find the good guy. And unfortunately Austin will continue to fail upwards. So then she'll go inside and he puts his drink down. She's like, don't put your drink on her nice table. Let's use one of these gigantic glitter frogs to put them into. Of course, Patricia's got these giant frogs that you put your full glass into.

Those are the shoes I make Randy wear around the house, actually. Okay, well, um, oh, there. Those are the shoes I make Randy wear around the house actually. Okay, well, um, oh, there. Uh, so what was JT talking about over there? Huh? Wait a minute. Did you guys hook up? Cause I saw you guys dancing, carrying on. And she goes, no, in Jamaica? Hell no. See now Taylor, here's you just gave your tell away. Because when asked if you hooked up with J.T. who you definitely did not hook up and we believe that because you seem totally deeply uninterested in him, you're like, you got like a look, she got like a look of revulsion and for the first time in the season she may have even like had a little acadence of some sort of emotion in her voice.

Whereas with Austin, she's like, no, no, did not hook up whatsoever. You just kind of revealed yourself right there. Well, I think also she, just another take, I mean, who knows. But I think that also she knows that Shep wouldn't care about. Shep looks at J.T. as pathetic, but he looks at Austin as competition. So she wouldn't want to disherse herself in Shep's eyes by saying that she did. Oh yeah.

She was JT, whereas she knows it would be riling him up and getting him jealous of she did. And I think Austin, and I think on some level, it's like embarrassing to say you hooked up with JT where it's written, and like in the weird world of Southern charm, it's not embarrassing to say you hooked up with Austin, you know, so it's like embarrassing to say you hooked up with JT, where it's been in the weird world of Southern charm, it's not embarrassing to say you hooked up with Austin. You know, so it's like, oh, JT, no, I mean, he's short. Come on, let's, don't do that to me.

The world is such a cruel fucking place. It's so cruel. I don't mean, I mean, here we are. I was like, we're on it, but jeez. Listen, listen, I love a short king, as they say, but Southern charm, they don't. They do not. So, and you know, doesn't alpha males,

they really do not like, that's like their ultimate weapon against the short guy. I mean, poor fucking guy. Okay, so then we got probably literally, okay, so then we go to Austin and Olivia talking on the couch and he's like, you look nice. Well, I'm just like, I'm just like, you know, like, I want to talk to you and Lou Jamaica. Which makes no sense, by the way, that's a second. Instead of Jamaica, you have to know Rob to say that again. What are you talking

about? I love, listen, we all mess up our words. I think I just did it a few minutes ago, but knowing that it's awesome, trying to sound fancy, trying to sound, you know, like he's always trying to sound air you die or educated in the way that like Whitney and Shepar. And so when he's like, oh yeah, I'm just trying to talk to you in lieu of Jamaica.

What? I love that you threw an air you die in there just to cement your yeah, I'm just trying to talk to you in lieu of Jamaica. What? I love that you threw an air you diet in there just to cement your point. I'm me and I snap all mandal curfew. There you go. It's delicious. It's delicious.

But I say things wrong. I improperly said that Heidi Klum was from Sweden the other day. And she's clearly from Germany and someone pointed that out. And like everyone knows that I know that you know I didn't I was like oh really hmm when you said that I was like hmm. I guess I should have known I don't know Why I was thinking I isn't there some really super famous supermodel from Sweden though Like they know only people from Sweden. Yeah, only hideous people from that that's a dwellah alone By the way, that's on to well. Hello, what you got should all us into because it was really good this week on

Wondru Plus. So anyway, hallelujah, Jamaica, because I'm a whole, a whole, a whole Jamaica. Yeah. And what I want to get to the bottom of is that things seem to be very one way when we talk like this. And then another way when we talk to the public. Yeah, and she's like, well, I mean, I know I've been inconsistent, but it's just like not a good friendship, because it just seems like nothing is genuine, and that's not friendship. And he's like, oh, I'm just trying to be their fuel, but yeah, that's all I've ever done with it.

It's just, no, you're not. And he goes, when did I ever ever not been there real, what? And I like that she started to say, you get off from pitting two girls against each other, but he interrupts her. And so she goes, you don't even know what I'm gonna say. Look, look at the paper trail of pissed off women. I'll say the value of the paper trail of pissed off women.

Like they're in an investigation. Like, wait a second, this credit card, this credit card, this credit card this tracks back to a piece of woman oh my god the paper trail goes to hey this paper trail leads to Heidi Kluben Sweden so we all have the same thing to say about you at what point do you want to stop having conversations and actually have them with yourself oh god so then we cut back to Taylor and Shaft and Shaft's like do you want to stop having conversations and actually have them with yourself? Oh God. So then we cut back to Taylor and Shaf and Shaf's like, Taylor, I know that I just acted super jealousy. You were talking to a short person, possibly you fucked a short person instead of me,

but now that I find out you're still pathetic, I just want to get to the place where we can be supportive and kind. And you know, the past few months, did we have a couple of good situations? Sure, that one, you know, remember when I emotionally abused you in front of everybody on that vacation and then we ended up sleeping together?

Oh, good times in my ride. All over, big mong. And she goes, yeah, I guess my cool step wasn't hopes for something more. Yeah, but gosh, my cool step wasn't hoped for something more. Yeah, a harsh, your cool step wasn't hoped for something more. Why? Do you want to get back together? Just the way I want to get back together with my TVD box out of the Vint Hot War?

And he's like pounding his foot under the table like his whole body is freaking out. And she's like, possibly which, you know, what did you think? She just showed up at your house and announced and knew that you had two girls there. I mean, what do you think is going on? So then we cut back to Olivia and she's like, well, I appreciate the times you've been my friend,

but right now you're not. Yeah, well, that's because this whole thing you're flipping on its head and it's not what I was expecting to happen at all I mean I was thinking you know, hey Olivia's gonna come in here come to me and say holy shit Austin I'm sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me What you thought I was gonna apologize to you that was hot like It's just a lot of shock on her face. She was like, wow, you are really fucking hopeless. And the look of entitlement on his face.

Like, it was brilliant. So, she's like, oh my God, if you took your head out of your narcissistic ass right now, you would see that I'm going through a few things and apologize on your dumb ass isn't one of them. There's a major, definitely a major disconnect here. I just, yeah, I couldn't agree more. I'm like, well, yeah, there's a lot of things disconnected between the two of you too.

Between the two of you too, Okay, talk about disconnected redundancy. So Taylor is, she's back to shop. She's like, I'm a hopeless romantic. And at the end of the day, what's more romantic than being back with the guy who said he enjoyed cheating on me while he was fuming over losing ping pong. who said he enjoyed cheating on me while he was fuming over losing ping pong. I'm hopeless romantic. What has he done? That's romantic. That's a scary thing. You're not hopeless romantic. You're just hopeless. I've got to say that was one word too long in that sentence. Yeah. And she's like, well, happiness outweighs rest. He's like, does it? She goes, can I speak?

Huh. I mean, I love and care about me, but I also love and care about us. And he's like, because these are us. He's over. I don't think it's repairable. And she's like, then why are we sitting here talking? Because I want to know if like we can be supportive one another. What don't you understand? I don't want to be friends. I don't want to have a relationship with you,

but I want to know if we can be supportive of one another. It's like, well, I mean, are we about to bring a date around? She was just talking to JT and you couldn't sit there, stop sitting there, getting your eyes all beady and red and staring at him and snapping your foot, you're patting your foot down on the ground and like licking your coke lips. So probably not, okay. But I guess he's like getting his permission

to start bringing around girls without her losing him mind. That's what it is. And Taylor's like, well, what if I wanna date Austin? What if I wanna to get revenge? Exactly. Oh, God, the difference. Between Taylor and JT, it's just hard to watch this. She's Austin?

Wow, that's who you want to date, Austin. And she goes, well, what if I want to date? And he like, basically, he's like, his head is like in his hands. He's like, well, I'll shake my head and be like, wow, sir. And she's like, so just say it would bother me, just say that. Well, if you were honestly in love with each other, I would not stand in your way, but I probably would yell a lot and get drunk.

And so she's all mad. So then JT is still standing in the same position, a moding for the cameras, and Rod brings drinks to him, and he's like, what an hiss. And he's like, I told her I love her and I do. And she was like, appreciate you. So now he's a nice Rod. And then the Shepp and Taylor conversation is still going somehow, and he's like, Taylor. Why are you mad at me?

Because I don't get it. It's like well, we can't go exist and be supportive of each other He's like forget the romantic stuff you do your thing and I'll do my thing. I'll still message you wait a minute If it fucks with you, I won't you're still such a piece of shit. You're like, we are broken up. Nothing is gonna happen. We can still, like, we can still text you to come talk to me, right? Like, I mean, we're still keep that far enough, right? So this is where Ben who just takes things on face value says, he was just saying, hey, if I messaged you to say,

like, happy birthday or high or like, what's going on? Or like, there's a party, you're not gonna, like, is this gonna fuck with your head and make you think that I'm interested in you again? And she's like, yeah, don't do that. She says, and by the way, I was proud of her for this. I'm glad she said, I know it sounds selfish, but don't do that, because that's what she's needed.

She's needed a clean break from him. And she's not able to move forward until she really like gets some separation. So he's like, okay, thanks for talking to me. I guess I don't know what to say. I'm just, you know, I'm sorry for anything in the past, I guess, you know, but in the future, I'm gonna be your biggest advocate. Okay, now that could mean lawyer, but obviously I'm not a lawyer, but you might need one

if you continue to stalk me. Okay, so good luck. lawyer, but obviously I'm not a lawyer, but you might need one if you continue to stalk me. Okay, so good luck. And then she goes in the bathroom and cries, and he says, you know, it breaks my heart. I want her happy, even if I'm not with her, but I've made the right decision, and maybe we could be happy in the same realm and be happy for each other or the same room. I don't know what he said. He said, that's his goal, that they can be happy together at some point, but separately. And if it need a leaves, great.

He's almost on his ears. Yeah, it falls down a little bit. And then Craig sees Olivia at the bar with Paige and Paige. So Olivia's like, chugging and Paige is like, wait a minute, you're drinking tequila with no ice. That's a serial killer move, Olivia. She's like, it's not I am. Craig get me out of this forsaken part of the country.

So then now we go to the cottage. Now this is where the show pivots into being like an 80s movie because we will have Austin Austin now steps into his greatest role, which is every villain in every 80s teen movie. So everyone's drinking in the, they're drinking in the cottage. And JT is on like a bar stool, but he's like kneeling on it, because he's kneeling so we can kind of like bend over the bar

and like point at what he wants to drink or something. And so he's up there and Austin comes in and Austin like blows a kiss to Taylor. Oh, I thought he was blowing a kiss to JT. You know, I wasn't totally sure, but I thought maybe it was to kiss to JT. You know, I wasn't totally sure, but I thought maybe it was a tear. You know what? Because Austin's like season finale time, time to fight with somebody shorter than me.

That's... I've looked at his like power dynamics. Like, yeah, I'm gonna go alpha this guy. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. commercial it's time for a crap and commercial So he blows a kiss to JT in my mind and JT is like I still can't believe Taylor kissed

kissed Austin, but he still doesn't want me which there it is He looks at her as damaged goods, and that's why he had a chance Mm-hmm gross, you know what? I don't want me. I fucking knew it. All I needed to hear from you, this whole season was that line. That's all I needed. So thank you for giving it. Thank you for proving me right to at least myself. And he's like, and she doesn't want me

an actual successful, good, positive man. And well, I took it as like shit. I took it as him saying, wow, like here I am, I'm like the total package. I got poppy seed on speed dial. And I've given her everything she would need. And then she goes for that shrub. That's how I took it personally.

Like she'll be with a piece of shit, but she won't be with me in actual good person. Yeah. So J.T. raises his glass, he goes to ship, and chef goes, oh, thanks, math finally, finally, get the recognition I deserve. Because, by the way, chef likes JT right now, because JT hates Austin, and the more that someone hates Austin, the more chef will like them. Yes, exactly.

So, JT Austin's like, what are you squealing about? Because, okay. So, walks, J.T. Austin's like, what are you squealing about? Cause, okay. So, um, walks off to J.T. Austin comes over to J.T. and J.T. is still on this bar stool, right, kneeling down. Kneeling. And Austin goes, wow. Finally, you're at my eye level. I did tell you to get on the chair next time you wanted to talk to me and you did get

it on the chair to get on my, sick burn. But it was such an 80s, that was such an 80s villain line, right? He walks up with his eighties here and you know, as a JT, he's like, you're a real snake and a coward. He's like, oh yeah, what are you squealing about JT? He goes, you have been the genesis of why there's so much pain in here and he's like hitting us hard. Fucking CT. So Austin's like, it's you, it's you, it's a coup.

Dude, so he tells us, dude, here's the one who initiated this whole thing. When you turned up your nose, we're doesn't belong. And JT's like, everyone here. Everyone here is set and everyone here. They're both gonna try and have their moment coming at each other. And Austin's like, everyone here. Everyone here is set and everyone here. They're both gonna try and have their moment coming at each other. And Austin's like, what are they said?

Regale me, you sure that Winnia used to word Regale. And JT's like, you are an arms length friend who cannot be trusted around any woman. Now, I believe that everyone set that. I believe that JT is not allowing about that. And so Austin's like, JT, why are you so upset about it? I just want to understand, like, where are you coming from? He's like, I want to understand how you can be such a piece

of shit in this town. Hey JT, JT, JT, JT, stop JT. Taylor's over there like, stop JT. And he goes, oh yeah, you're gonna yell at the girl you went after because no or not. Oh, I'm not yelling at him girl I went after. And Taylor's like, for you to be coming at Austin like this, come on.

And he's like, wait a minute, you taking his back? I'm never gonna forget this. I'll never forget this, Taylor. And Austin's like, what are you so upset about? And Austin tells us, oh no, I get it. He's jealous of me. JT is so jealous of me. He wants a tailor so bad and I get the girl.

JT doesn't. Guys like JT don't get the girl. I get the girl. Oh, gross. It's gross. Gross, sadly, but it's just. I can't wait to see how many girls you're getting when your hair continues.

It's a journey of completely falling out and you age and you don't have this TV show anymore after your beer frowled. Yeah, unfortunately we can't use the word paycheck in that sentence either. Exactly. So J.A.T. is like, Shep called you a boy in a sandbox that wants everyone else's shyness toys and I was like, yeah, well shut up, it was upset, buddy. And yeah, well, because you fucked it's girlfriend.

And Taylor was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I love that now that, um, now that JT is Maddo Taylor, he's just like, we're not friends anymore. So you fucked her, you know, like, and now the turn. So he's like, and my point is this, I just knew what I said, I did, I did notice that that all of a sudden he was, he was all about saying that. We knew it was going to happen. This is what these guys do, you know, they're gone so nice.

She has to be with me. Everybody else was mean to me. So Shirley should want to be with me in the second that they're not. It's like you were bad anyway. So um, Austin's like like you are a child. He's like I'm a child. You're a little boy that cried wolf in a six foot five frame. And now I'm talking to you man to man in the face.

And Austin just pushes him to push him off the stool. Shubs him off. And then and also was obsurious man. And JT by the way JT fell off that stool very gracefully. He like, he just like, he just like, he just like, runs his feet right away like, yeah, like hit another stool very lightly. He was just like ready to go, you know,

and it's like he's been kneeling on stools to fight with taller people his entire life. I know. He was like a cat just lands righteling on stools to fight with taller people his entire life. I know. He was like a cat just lands right on his feet, ready to go. He didn't land on his butt. There's not like a domino effect with all the other stools. He just was ready to go and JD goes, guess what?

Do it again, do it again. And then he like, just bumps Austin, you know? And then there's like, there's like, Tesla and like real housewives of Dallas. Boat me. Boat me. There's a lot of tussling. They edit it very quickly.

I feel like Bravo was like not showing us the extent of the fight because I think they wanted to still make this show, so gentlemenly. So, and by the way, there were fighting like no one's breaking this up while they're even after the push, after the chest bump, no one's coming in to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're all like, okay, we're gonna watch.

Yeah. They're just all drinking and watching. And so Austin's like, whoa, over all the years, there's never been any physical contact. And now you're gonna come in. He's like, you did it, you pushed me first. I mean, first Austin gonna even try with this. Austin's so bad at this.

He's gonna try and start a fight with someone and then get that guy to start a physical fight so he can get that guy fired. But you literally pushed him first off of a stool and you came over to bully a short person. Yeah, and he goes, you headbutt of me first. Just he goes, guess what? You hit me first.

Guess what? You fucking lose. I'll never see you again. I'll see you never. I'll see you never. I'll see you never just to continue the 80s theme. I'll see you never. Unless you want to meet at three o'clock behind the school. So then, oh really, I sit around your house.

Your mama's so fat she sits around the house. Patricia walks in and is like, all right, both of you, detention. So Austin's like, you just can't help, you just have can you, JT? And he's like, oh, yeah, see, you never. And JT smiles. And he's like, I didn't want to go there, but I did. Because he's a thirsty drama queen who kind of got what he wanted. And so was Austin. And so congratulations. I think you've cemented yourself as just another terrible man on this cast.

But I really appreciated him going after Austin. I feel like we've not really seen it done properly. And I was glad that he stood his ground to be honest. I was too. I mean, he technically didn't stand his ground, but he tried. He emotionally stood his ground. And he kneeled his ground.

Yeah. So, and then of course, to end the season, Austin gave us a classic, this is fucking insane, insane. So everyone's like Austin to calm down. And of course, Chef leaves the party. And so Chef walks out of the cottage, they're calming down Austin outside and Chef sees it and just walks by,

doesn't like go to Austin to be like, hey, like, you know, calm down. He's just like, fuck Austin. And he basically says, that's really, like, you know, calm down. He's just like fuck, fuck Austin. And he basically says that his relationship with Austin is, is afraid. And, you know, it's bad and it's bad place. He got the last line of the entire season chef. He's like, he did me wrong. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. And I hate to say it, but Austin deserves it. And no one can dispute that. And I was like, wow, congratulations.

This is the first season chefs ever had where he wasn't the monster of the season. And he just fucking loves it. He's like, yeah, okay, my work here is done. Austin initiated a physical fight. Looks like an idiot. And he's been dumped by both of the girls that like him. Bye. I'm at one of the girls that liked him,

blatantly tried to get me and the other one dumped him for good. My work here is done. I'm gonna leave here. Well, I'm not the biggest villain of the season. Yeah. Thank you, go. Well, to be fair, I feel like Shep alternates.

He has a season where he's a monster and he has a season where he's like palatable. And this is like a, this is a piece he's in, not an MC. It's been a while. It's been a while. He's had, he's really like ever since the homeless situation or I should say, on how situation with that lady,

he's really struggled. That was a, that was a real breaking point with his image because I used to love Shep. And I still like despite myself, I think he's a horrible person and he's arrogant, but I still actually, I just, I do, I'm always intrigued by a chef. I find him to be a very fascinating person to watch because I see him as someone who is very smart, who is very spoiled, very entitled, very wealthy, and he is, he's like terrible to people. I see him actually, I don't think it's fake. I feel like he tries to work on himself,

but it doesn't work, because the monster's too big, and it's just getting worse and worse. So I just find him happy. I don't think he tries to work on himself at all. I think he's one of those people who tries to work on his reality, because what do these people go through really on Twitter,

like people just coming after him on Instagram, commenting constantly about what pieces they are, even the, you know, they have fans, but they just all those detractors and stuff. And it's like housewise, like they always come back trying to adjust, you know, it's like, okay, I got canceled for what I did to that lady in the streets, the, you know, the unhomed lady or whatever. And so now I'm going to come back and and I'm gonna be a good guy this season. And it's like, he's always trying to readjust. It's like, okay, I'm gonna be a good guy because now I'm gonna have a girlfriend.

And people can't just call me a user. So I'm gonna be with a girlfriend. But then he eventually slips and is just the emotionally abusive asshole that he's always been on camera. And then it's like, oh no, how do I fix this? Okay, she's going to be there. So I'm just going to try and be a good friend to her and be a victim because Austin is trying

to steal my girlfriend. But then it slips. And then he's like emotionally abusing her at the cabin in front of everybody. And it's like he's just like trying to keep adjusting for the public. But you just can't stop showing himself. Well, I'm showing his ass. I'm gonna revise what I said. I actually agree with what you said in that.

I do think he's trying to better himself, I think gives him way too much credit. It's not that. But I feel like he does try to adjust 100%. He is trying to be like, oh shit, like everyone hated how it was last season. So I'm gonna adjust the season. But I feel like it's actually in the words that he says

and things that he does, there's like something in his language which makes me feel like he had some conversations with people and did some reading and he's trying to kind of like follow it, but he can't. As a poet, and I say this because as opposed to someone like Austin, who Austin I feel like is truly just an adjuster and is like trying to adjust his image,

but I don't see it being more, I don't see it being deeper than him saying, like, oh, people didn't like me last season, so I'm gonna just be nice now. And that's why I feel like it's interesting with Shep, because I feel like he strives a little bit more than Austin, but he can't do it. I know. And I think I'll just always be interested

in Chepp for that reason. And but like Austin is just like just a shitty person. If there's just, well that's just like a one dimensional shitty person. One thing I will say to that is that Chepp at least looks tortured enough to know that he's terrible. And he's like, I actually, that's a really a good point. He's like, I am terrible, but I don't want to be. So I'll try not to be even though he feels like

he will always be like, I think that's the crux of it. That's the crux of it. I think there is an element of self awareness. Austin, yeah, Austin just sucks. Austin's just terrible. And watching Shep on the show, it's like Shep is realized who he is on the show because he's probably had this life where everybody just tells him he's perfect and amazing. So coming onto this show and getting, and he was like the golden boy of the show the first couple of years, but then when he started getting pushed back

on what a piece of shit he was, and it's like the first time he's probably ever on the scene. And as you can see it, you can see it. You can see it, yes, and you can see it crumbling his face like he turns red and his eyes turn black. I mean, you can see it just killing the guy. Whereas Austin, since he's come on the show,

Austin was more like innocent and like, okay, so I'm supposed to pretend to have this girlfriend to be on this show. I mean, okay, like he had more of like an innocent vibe about him and we've seen him just become a complete eagominical piece of shit social path. You know? I think you totally hit the nail in the head.

I think that Shep has an element of self-awareness and not just audience awareness. I think Austin may have audience awareness, but Shep has says things every now and then that are very self-deprecating. Like an awareness of like, Chef, because Chef has says things every now and then that are very self-deprecating, like an awareness of like, yeah, I did that, you know? And like I think that like he, I think that he knows enough, he sees enough

where he realizes where he is a monster, but he's totally incapable of changing. And like that is like really fascinating to me, whereas Austin knows enough to know that people don't like him, but he doesn't know enough, but he still doesn't ever see himself as responsible for it. That's why I guarantee at the reunion, he will inevitably say like it does every year,

he's like, well, once again, I'm like the punching bag for everyone, like everyone's so mean to me on social media. I'm glad I'm getting everyone, so easy for everyone to like come at me. I'm glad I'm getting everyone, so easy for everyone to come at me. I'm glad I'm getting everyone, I'm entertaining everyone. Like, that's his thing. So anyway, should we pivot to a little Southern hospitality chat? A lot to do it. So last week, real quickly, last week,

or whatever it was, the latest episode, which we didn't cover because of break, the big thing that happened was that they were like really mad, a lot of the gang was mad that Joe was hanging out with like Oshin a lot and they felt like that wasn't cool. And so then Oshin needed to apologize to Emmy for, oh, Oshin needed to apologize to Emmy for,

Oshin slapped Emmy's ass at work, which was definitely not cool. And so then Joe brought Oshin to the bar where the whole gang was hanging out. And Joe was like, God, bring Oshin to that way, Oshin can clear the air about all this. And then he could just be like, I'll be trying stuff. And but then Oshin didn't't clear the air and Will was like,

you know, you better apologize. You better fucking apologize. No, she's like, I don't know who you are. He's like, oh, you better know who you are. And so then as Revenge, O'Shean went at Grace Lilly's party and just started telling everyone that Will hooked up with the girl. Yes, he went to the bathroom at a party.

He went into the bathroom at a party. He went into the bathroom at a party with a girl with a bottle of rose for 30 minutes straight. Don't, don't, don't, don't. So this week is basically dealing with that. Now, Oshin, first of all, people are asking us why are we calling a machine? Because that's what they call them on the show. Now, at first we were like, is it Oshin? We didn't know. Or is it ocean? We don't know. People are telling us online

it's ocean or ocean, right? And that they're Irish and they know how to pronounce this name. But guess what? Everybody says, oh, she's so I'm saying, well, we're sticking with, okay? It's common pronunciation at least on this dumb, dumb of a show. So that's why we're calling him that. So Ocean, Ocean, who has just had this confrontation with like, you don't grab girls but it work. Treat girls like that. He's like, okay, sorry. So now this week,

you didn't really even say, okay, sorry. He was like, I don't have any recollection of doing that, but if I did do that, that's like I thought I'd, I'm sorry, I guess I'm sorry about any recollection of doing that. But if I did do that, that's all right. Oh yeah, it's like, I thought I did it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry about doing it a couple of days. It was like the O.J. Simpson book. If I did do it, this is how I would have done it. Yeah.

So, um, I'm your learn. So then he, um, this week, just after all this, it's like sexual harassment. This week he comes right into the kitchen. He's like, hey, there, go just yourself. Pretty little girl, like it's like sexual harassment. This week he comes right into the kitchen. He's like, hey, that gorgeous, you're so pretty, little girl. It gives her like two kisses on the cheek, like man, handles her, and then like walks away.

Emmy was not happy this week. She was not happy about those rumors. So what's funny about Emmy is she sort of has action figure hands, I noticed. So when she talks, she either puts her hands like paddles or she may, sorry, my fingernails are really long and I'm gonna get them cut today. Or she puts her fingers out, like fully spreads them out

when she talks, and she sort of, she moves her hand like in a very herky, jerky way. And she's like, I cannot believe what O'Shean was saying. Can you believe what O'Shean was saying about Will? What a piece of shit. I trust Will fully 100% and so she was really agitated at O'Shean, but she's also mad at Maddie because there was a hilarious moment in the middle of the show

Which honestly it could have been the whole episode for me where You know, Emmy is just she's slicing lines in the kitchen. You like I'm a good worker. I'm so good I should be a manager look at the way I slice these lines. This is the way up madder slices lines No one even had to tell me to juice these lines and she's wearing a pink dress. And as she's standing there, la, la, la, la, la, la, some other girls, this one girl, don't know who she is.

She comes in and just stares at her. Like I was like, is this, is this, is this a zombie movie? Like she, like it looked like it was a horror movie and this girl was about to slaughter Emmie. Did you notice that? Was it the blonde girl? Yes.

Yes, she had heard, we've just talked about how chef's eyes go black. Hers went black. I was like, are you about to put Emmie through the juicer? I was like, she looked possessed. It was like a horror movie possession. Like, I'm here to kill you. Yeah, it's like she walks in. Like, hi, everybody.

I'm taking the long lady down. So then they stare at each other and then all of a sudden, it becomes blues. And she was like, pinks. She's like, I thought we were pinks today. No, it's blues, blues, pinks. And then this other girl, this beautiful woman in the background walks in and she's like,

I thought we're blues today, but Maddie told me pinks and it turns out they're talking about their dresses. And then we see it, we're right before all this happened. Maddie had texted, uh, Emmy saying, oh yes, and tonight, pinks. So Emmy is furious. She's been told to wear the wrong color of dress to republic.

The most eminent bar, not only in Charleston, but in the world. Commershues, here comes one right now. So, she's gonna look stupid. So, she's really upset. And then Maddie comes to say- They come to say- They come to say- And to say of Maddie's case, Maddie is in a pink dress too.

So it looks like Maddie just got it wrong, right? But the only person that she texted was Emmy. So yeah, but then here's the thing. So first of all, it's like Emmy's already. And then there's, I think some girl named like Sierra or Sierra who hasn't come into work today. So her dress is hanging. So Maddie takes it to change into.

So Emmy's the only one who's in pink. And so then there's like a staff meeting. And so Leva and the CEO of all of Republic, Leo Oxen, making your grand return in a pantsuit. Yes, and it's pink. Which is why I know exactly where to go. And you know what, so weird is that Leva comes dressed in blue, but Leah comes dressed in pink.

So I'm very confused by the whole thing. And I think the conspiracy probably started with Leah because Leah is also very like how dare she. And she's like, what is wrong with that girl in the wrong color? I am Leah. I am Leah CEO. How dare this girl try this shit with me. I have a handbook.

Every day there's a color. Today's color is obviously pink or obviously blue or whatever. So they're like, well, where is Emmy? And then we see a shot of Emmy and her car hustling home to change. And they're like, you can't just leave work. Oh, Emmy is in trouble. And they're like, what happened with Emmy and Madison's like, well, basically, like she got the color wrong for the day because today's blues, and everybody knows that. And she doesn't even say like, I sent her the wrong information. Yeah, she doesn't say I sent her. And by the way, Maddie, if anyone should have given the dress to Emmy, because then Maddie has Maddie, at least, be like, well, I'm in pink

because I'm at a higher status or whatever. But she basically throws Emmy out of the bus. And so then, no one is angrier than the CEO, Leah. Leah is literally, for those in represent demand, here's a shot of Leah reacting to the fact that Emmy wore the wrong color today and had to go home. And she's like, this is a business, okay? Let me tell you something.

The first rule of Vegas buffets always wear the same color. Second rule of Vegas buffets, look at rule number one. I am not putting up with this shit whatsoever. She's gonna be fired soon. I am Leah. See, oh, that will be no leaving. So, Matt, you muted yourself by accident, I think. I did.

Oh, thank you. Oh, you're back. Thank you for telling me. That was Leah. Leah just muted you. Leah CEO. So she comes back and he gets her dress and she comes back and Leah's like, where were you?

I'm Leah CEO. Do not make me send this gargoyle after you. And the waitress is like, I will kill her. I will kill her master. Heal, heal. So then Emmy's like, no, look, look, look at this text. And they show that, and then they show, Emmy shows the text to Leva and to Leah. And it says, you know, it's from Maddie,

it says, by the way, pinks tonight. So then like, oh, don't worry, you're not in trouble. Not this time. Yeah, that was very like that. You got off this time. But next time you're in the wrong color dress, wang. Rrrrr.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Oh, it was my favorite part of the entire episode The wrong colored dress. Why? Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz terrified that she didn't have the right dress and she's like, oh my god, I can't believe I don't have the right dress And then the other manager guy goes stop it. Yes, he's like just stop it. She's stop it This is an emergency. This is a public. No one has the habit of fixing it And yes, he was coming in. Oh my gosh. She's bringing her gargle army. Okay, so we either fix this or we die Okay, so we either fix this or we die. Okay. So Emmy is of course furious, you know, because this whole season she's been laying the groundwork like, uh, Maggie doesn't even do her job. She stays outside and waits to see Trevor pass by on his bike carriage or whatever it is. So she's been like, I can look at me doing the lives. I should run

this place. It's Republic Republic the best bar on earth. So she's feeling this groundwork all season and Now Maddie has stepped in it. So she's gonna really lay in church She's like, I mean, I'm just so sick of that. I mean Why isn't me she didn't then the little gargoyle went like she didn't even take responsibility I'm looking for the key master. So, so then,

elsewhere around how Will is really mad at Joe because Will and Joe are like besties. And like, Joe, it's been hanging out with Oshin. And like, Joe did not like, you know, shoot down the rumor authoritatively.

And so Will is really mad because don't forget Will is going to law school. And I'm actually last week Will went in, we finally met Will's dad and his dad is a lawyer at the practice of Asse and Asse, attorney is at law. And Will is, he's worried that he's going off to law school He's gonna be far away from everyone and think he just worried about being out of the loop So he has Joe come over and he's like he's like bro Like you didn't even like shut down that rumor and Joe's like well, I thought it's just you know Like don't shoot to my messenger. Just like I just thought it's being like a good friend

And like just like you know, but like I realized it's actually like a really bad friend. And I was just like like I see it now. And like I just like I think we can like, you know, I think our friendship is like easier to heal than your arm. So it's like be friends again. And like, you know, I just like that's what I was just saying, you know? And we'll say, yeah, you know what? Dude's just like to be dudes.

Like, we don't like to talk about our feelings, but right now, Joe's being vulnerable, and he's opening up. These guys are so fucking ridiculous. So in other news, Grace Lilly has run into some problems with her boyfriend who didn't seem fishy at all. I mean, this total cheese bang who didn't become your boyfriend until

you'd been on TV and were shooting another season. I can't believe this one's not working out. What's his name? Liam. I believe. So Joe gets a call at work and he's like, oh my god, great. So he's out you. Hold on. I'm going to go to the town on the couch talk to you about. Look at this. This is important. And he breaks over. And he's like, Malay, Malay, Grezz Lellie. He said, Oh my God, great, great, great, so he's on the phone. Oh my God, hold on, hold on.

I'm gonna go sit with you on the couch. It was very important. Grezz Lellie, we're here for you. We're here. We're here. We're here. Is there you okay, Grezz Lellie? You guys, I don't know.

I've been fine with Liam. He's just so concerned about my past. And she says that like that they went to sleep, everything was fine for her birthday. And then in the middle of the night, he woke up and was going through her phone. And it was like, who's this? It was like someone that she used to date.

And he didn't know about it. And he was like, why didn't you tell me? He got like really, really jealous. And then we find out later that he's like really obsessed with taking photos with her and like establishing that they're dating on social media and that he's really into going through her phone all the time. Yeah.

It's creepy. Oh, go like, listen, if the psychotic smile that hits on the sky's face is not indication enough, do it out, Grace Lillie. Yeah. The call from the side of the house. I'm not only Izzy Creepy and Stockery, but thirsty trying to get on your Instagram, et cetera. Get rid of him. And he kind of looks like Carter from Vannapromprools, which is also a bad sign.

Yeah, that's not great. So they're like, oh my god. Grace Lilly, where are you? And then what's the other thing? Okay, the other thing is Mia is great. Mia does not even care. Mia's like, okay, you don't want me to work at the club? I don't care. I will still drive the majority of the plot. Thank you very much. I will still get to meet from this.

So you hookers. Thanks. I will wear the uniform and I will still show up outside the club and have scenes. So she, first she and likema go walking around the street or whatever and Mia's like so like this rumor like do you think that like Will did anything and I was like absolutely but he has had such a hard summer such his shoulder okay and now he's going through so much he's going to law school and I just no no I trust Will I trust Will so. I trust well. So me and it's like, okay, we'll all circle back

in the end of the episode with better proof. Okay. Yeah. Emmy is freaking out. I mean, look, partly it's because she loves well, right? So you want to believe, and well, it's been like, what, I was just hugging her with a bottle of champagne in a bathroom because my best friend died.

And she knows somebody that died. So we were just hugging in a bathroom for half an hour with champagne. Which, listen, nobody believes that except for Emmy, right? But I think it's also because she wants, she's been planning on this like fairy tale, I'm marrying a lawyer. And then he's my trophy husband and then we're, I mean, this is all stuff she said,

not me being like, she did's my to reach husband. This is stuff that she said, like I'm gonna have she didn't want to reach her husband. This is stuff that she said. Like, I'm gonna have this trophy husband. We're gonna go get this monster mansion and have all these kids. And so, you know, she doesn't want this to just break up. Yeah, I mean, she is this close to having, you know, all these daughters named like Madison

and Page and Richardson and Parkway and I think she's going to be a total. We all have like e-mams. Me camsie. Oh yeah. And then here's my daughters Emily Ellsbeth. You know, elevator. I mean, there aren't many things. I'm going to be a geosis.

Okay, so the elevator, Mia's like, oh my God, let's go have lunch at that place. It has gluten-free cauliflower soup. And she's like, okay, so they meet up and She's like, okay, okay, so here we go. I mean, I mean, you know, I love you, right? So sorry to do this. So it turns out that one of the girls at this party I know it's not crazy. So I called right side I sent her a text and I said, did you see well and she said, look here in the text, I did see well.

He was making out with a girl in a bathroom. Sorry. And then I said, are you sure? And she said 100%. And I said, are you really sure? And she said, I literally, they were, like I saw lip to lip action and tongue to tongue. Are you really sure?

A thousand, a thousand, a thousand percent. So yeah, and I mean, it's like, I don't believe it. Nope, nope, don't believe it. I would believe sooner that Maddie told me the right dress the other day than I would believe this story. So she's like, we're gonna go confront Will. So they, she takes me to Joe's house where Will still is. And she's like, go, go ahead, tell her, go ahead and tell her. And me is like, does the same thing. She's like, okay,

I'm new a friend that was there at the party. Let me read the text. And he's like, that's a lie. And you're just gonna believe that? That is an absolute lie. She's like, why would she lie? I was like, well, because you're on a TV show, and she's trying to get on the TV show. I mean, what about the girl who showed up at Bradley's place the other day? Do I think she was lying? I don't know, but we found out at the part not Bradley's play.

Yes. Well, you know what I was saying. You was training her. You would Bradley, the girl who showed up and said she was making out with Trevor. But then later, they were told at the Grace Lilly birthday party last week that it was never Trevor making out with that girl.

It was Trevor's friend. So who knows who to believe on this show, but obviously there are people with motives to lie. But still do I believe it? Yes, I do believe it. Oh, yeah, I believe some girl to party. And also I believe that Emmy probably doesn't care and it's probably made out with other dudes at parties.

I feel like I want to believe him, not that I want to believe him, but like it seems convincing, but if Scandival told us anything, so anything can happen. We can just be a standard pump rule. No, I mean, way before it, Scandival, I mean, season one. Jackson, Kristen, of Vanderpromp rules. I mean, that whole time, we were like, what is Stasi? Stasi is so mad at Jacks, but I believe Jacks,

I mean, I remember believing Jacks. I mean, this is, I don't know why I'm tarnishing our own reputation like this one. I don't have to bring up shit from 10 years ago. Okay. But we believed it. He was that good of a liar. He was such a fucking sicko.

I'm not falling for it again. Okay. I'm never believing another man again. And realize that we're on this channel. Yeah. So unfortunately, we'll, like, it does not look good and you should have been smarter. And for right now, you are guilty. You're guilty in the quarter-crapons.

We'll have to see what happens. I guess there was also a storyline of Brad, going, Brad's mom came in and she was super cute and then he went on a date with Lucia but like it was literally not interesting. So, that's a good thing about not doing full recaps. We can just say, oh, Bradley, Bradley has mom. That was the, check in my email part,

but his mom was adorable. And they were the only thing I was like, I had some mom seeing a scrolling. A big takeaway was that they were eating a meal on a shaky table. I was driving me nuts. They were like sitting there cutting and the table kept shaking. I'm like, Bradley, you work in service. You should know how to fix a table. So what else happened? I think that was it. That was it.

That was the big stuff that happened. So anyway, I'm going to put on my blue dress because I don't want to be out of code. And everyone, thank you so much for being here for today's episode. Remember, on Monday, we are going to make announcements about the crappies. So tune in for that.

It's going to be so good. Crappie Hour will be Monday night at 5.30 on the West Coast, 8.30 on the East Coast. And then I'll check out Dwell Hello on One Dree Plus. So that's it for everything. Talk to everyone later. Watch what crappins would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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