Watch What Crappens - #2287 Below Deck Med: Sick Daze

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

They're dropping like anchors on Below Deck Med (S08E14) as the crew gets sick one after another. Not to be outdone, Kyle takes another turn around the lazy Susan and stays in bed all episode with a headache. Don't worry, he magically recovers when it's time to twerk. Will Captain Sandy write another autobiography about standing up to the Frenchman who lied about not being served pasta? Let's dive in! For links to watch this recap as a Crappens On Demand Video, hear our Patreon bonuses, or to buy tickets for The 2024 Golden Crappies Live From The Palace Theater in Los Angeles Feb 17th, visit watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cram, I have cram,, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Happy below deck. Medday. It's been a while, Ben. I know. Happy below deck. Medday. We're back. So exciting. So fun to be back on the boat. Yeah, I got to check in with below deck. We can't do these every single week, because Bravo's really thrown a lot at us. But listen, what can I tell you? I need to see who's going to die this week on the boat. Because every week it's something new.

I just see what excuse Kyle came up with this week for not doing any work. What's he? I know. He's absolutely ridiculous. I already can anticipate that he will probably be on the list of villains for the crappies this year. And speaking of which, in case you missed the big announcement yesterday, the crappies

are going to be on February 17th in Los Angeles at the Palace Theater. Tickets are on sale tomorrow, which will be Wednesday, Wednesday, January 10th. There's actually a Patreon pre-sale that's already happening. If you catch this in time, that's going until we're recording this. Well, this is coming up out on Tuesday. So by 10 p.m. that's on Patreon.

So if you're a Patreon member, go Patreon, you can get your tickets ahead of time before everyone else. So go check that out. The ticket link for Wednesday will be up on our site. It'll be everywhere where we can put it on social media. So we really hope everyone comes because the crappies are a really special night and you never know what's gonna happen.

We're excited to see you in Los Angeles. It's been a while. This is a video, Patreon. And also we do bonuses and all that. So if you want videos, bonuses, all that Patreon, patreon watch your crampus.com has all our links Let's get to below deck Mediterranean Season 8 episode 14 is called cut red And it

So this show has not aired for like three weeks because there was a break. I think the last episode was the week before Christmas So, it has been like three weeks and the cliffhanger that we've been sitting on for three weeks has been, Max did not want to eat pasta and he told Sandy there was no food for him and then Sandy said wait, but it turns out there was food for you Don't lie to me. So there's this is the big Lefanger did Max lie about pasta and It's also somewhat you know, it's sandy. So there's always like some kind of offense involved I am the fence offense involved For me, it's Max is not a native English speaker. He's a Frenchman. And he said, there's no food for me, meaning to me, there's no food for me to eat, meaning like, I don't

eat meat. So I'd be like, well, there's no food for him. He doesn't want to eat pasta. But Sandy takes this moment to just lose it on someone and be like, I don't like being lied to you. You know what? I don't like liars. That's what I hate. I be like, I don't like being lied to. You know what I don't like? Lires, that's what I hate. I'm like, wow, you're really coming out swinging against somebody who just doesn't wanna eat pasta. Right.

Meanwhile, a kowtow has a job. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, sometimes the priorities, I just don't. But also to be fair Max could also just eat the pasta, you know, like it's not it was not a He didn't know he didn't want the man working out every five minutes the man is doing lifts All like every time we see a railing he does a lift now is that fucking obnoxious? Yes

I'm just saying it least he's making some effort, you know? I mean, don't make the man eat the pasta. He's working on it here. I don't know. I think he could have eaten the pasta. Okay. It was not like he was kosher and they were serving bacon. He could eat the pasta. It was not in what it didn't work with his fitness goals, but you know what though? Like your fitness goals do not come before the ship. Honestly, I'm sorry to say. I do, I say that max.

I can't believe I'm sticking up for somebody who just promised. I'm surprised. It's weird because that's just not my vibe in general. I'm a big pasta advocate. But I don't know, this just was too weird for me, especially because a guy probably just meant there's no food for me. There's no food that I like. So I'm kind of like that.

Yeah, but I think that that like so Sandy has a point. So she was like, so he know he's like, but I don't want to be a pasta. And she was like, well, don't come up here and say that there was no food for you, no max. What you do is wrong. There was food. And you just didn't want it. And he was like, yeah, but there was pasta. It just, that's my point.

All you need to do now is just say I'm sorry. And he was like, yeah, but there was pasta. It just, that's my point. All you need to do now is just say I'm sorry. And he goes, no. And he storms out of the wheelhouse. That's what I think why I like them. Because he's like, no. And then he walks to the top of the steps and just is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, crying in flames, crying in flames.

And I just think that's hilarious. But just because nobody cares about this point, and I need to hammer it into the ground. She says, you came up here and said there was no food for you, pitch in a fit, but there was pasta and he goes, no, it's because I don't want pasta. Like he literally said that.

So she's still taking it like, lies the lies the other lies I cannot put a lie. Coming here lies. Basically you are a Harlan COVID Netflix. What will the next twist in turn be? What will the lies? What other lies do you hold Frenchman? Tell me tell me what was that really good Holland Cobain movie?

Tell me it was made up. It was actually a French movie, but it was based off. Tell me tell me lies. Tell me sweet little lies. Little lies, yeah. Sorry, guy. Side track by Fleetwood Mac. God, I love it.

Murder mystery is dealing with Mac, huh? Let me tell you, that's the day Stevie Mcstieb to me. Tell me pies, tell me sweet little pies. God, I love a pie. So I'm not deep pies. Oh, Laura's like, oh, sorry, I didn't come up here to make a scene. I was a pie. So, um. I don't know the price. Oh. Laura's like, oh, sorry, I didn't come up here to make a scene. I was just saying, she was like, no.

Listen, you didn't, Laura. Max, Max, Max, please come back to the bridge. We have pasta things in a store out here. And he said he's like, no. So he goes out to the bow where he's gonna like moop. Okay, because he got yelled at. And Laura's like, he is a baby. And she says, oh, I understand.

You know, people get hungry and they get tired, okay? At least he wasn't injecting fruit juice up his toes, like heroin, like Hannah Banana, okay? And Laura says she doesn't mean to make drama. Yes, she does. Laura's a drama queen and she's probably my favorite kind of drama queen because she really just does enjoy watching it all go down. doesn't mean to make drama. Yes, she does. Larza Drama Queen, and she's probably my favorite kind of drama queen because she really just does enjoy watching

it all go down. She doesn't ever need to be in it. She just likes kind of igniting it and then standing back. So, so meanwhile, Luka is wondering if Haley is going to come back. She is such a vibrant presence on the show. It's been, it's been really hard without her on the show for the past few episodes. And then we go to Sandy. She goes out to the bow now to find Max. And she's like, Hey, so Max, you didn't eat anything

Max. Is that what you're trying to say? And Max just hanging on the side of the boat. He was like rubbing his forehead like, Oh, this is so hot for me. But not to say. He's like, listen here, Max, you didn't eat anything. Now, you know I love a man, I love an employee in distress, okay? Now I haven't really ever used these for that, but come over here. Let me pull out my boob, come over here,

my sweet little baby. Let me feed you. Like what the hell, I don't want that either. Don't you lie to me. You're a liar. You're telling me lies, sweet little lies, okay? Some max is like, no, I want it to be food because it's easy to digest. And it goes, yeah, but the fruit cuts run away.

Yeah, and I don't eat pasta. And like, I know I take time to digest them and like, it's taking my energy. And like, just because I say, yeah, vegetable pasta, I don't want, like, you say, I'm liar. It's just because I say you have vegetable pasta I don't want like you say I'm liar. She goes, well you did lie to me. Okay, Stevie next.

You did lie. He doesn't lie to you. I will die on this stupid hill. I don't think I'll take I'll take my pasta. I'll take it down. Okay. No, she's like me. I listen.

I don't like lying or blind side and or in subordination. But what I do like Tears I do love a weak person that can be taught in a teachable moment, okay? So now listen, I'm gonna talk to the here's what happens is someone lies because then I could go talk to the chef And then the chef is gonna do say what do you mean there's no food? You know max is lie affects other people. It's like You know, Max's lie affects other people. It's like... Domino's. I do not want Domino's.

Please, I cannot digest. Okay, didn't mean to trigger you with more Italian carbs talk. Okay, there, Franci. Cheese. Listen, Max. Don't stop thinking about the pasta. Don't stop thinking about me. You're too good.

You are totally my stomach. And she's like, okay, Max, I about it. You're not talking to me. You are talking to me. I'm not talking to you. And she's like, OK, Max, I get it. Cry, cry. OK, it wasn't intentional. I get it. It was Max to deny. OK?

But listen, a lie crash is still a lie crash. It doesn't matter whose fault it was. At the end of the day, there's still a crumpled little lie in the middle of an intersection. And how traffic is going to have to go around that lie while people clean it up. It's a lie slide, in fact. Almost like a lie. If I see, if you see my reflection in the lie as it, a lie slide will take it down.

I'm just going to stick with Fleetwood Mac now. Okay. Sorry, with lie or is that like lie? All them Fleetwood like. Fleetwood lies. Let me tell you something. They told a lot of lies. Okay. Now listen, I got I got a deep repertoire. If you think they're not going to be singing at the whole episode, you're wrong, Max. You're wrong. So he's like, oh, this is the time where other people eat it by eating more, okay? And she's like, oh, I get it.

It's a new schedule for you. You just need food. The more food you eat, probably the less you'll like, am I right? I'm the buying. So now Kyle, and a pepperoni roll with that. Oh, please, though.

Sorry. Sorry for the Italian character. Sorry, sorry, you know. Yeah, you know what, though? Pepperoni only happens when it rains. All right. So Kyle is still the gay cruise with the gays. It's a blessing to understand that they can't have mind, 100 different meat temperatures and expect anything to come out with some

semblance of normal meat. I really want, you know what kind of meat I'm into? I'm really into medium well, but medium well, no, I'm into medium well plus, but also minus pie, not the dessert, the mathematical equation, making it a thing. But also like, who says I want mine well done, but I want mine to come out first. Okay, like the whole well done is done last. Okay, so the bloody stuff comes out first.

That's just how it goes. Okay, it's purposely being difficult so you can feel rich in demanding. You know, don't try and convince me how rich you are when you're on a discount cruise. Anybody who goes on below deck, I'm like, oh yeah, you're a real big spender. You're on a fucking discount half price cruise, okay?

You're on the Burlington Coat Factory of Boots right now, okay? So Kyle, who has a horrific migraine, so terrible he can't do an ounce of work. He just has to lay down somehow finds the energy to go up to the deck to have a key key with the gaze. So, he goes up there and he's like, oh my god, there's so much to catch up on. I'm not even supposed to be sitting, but you know what, I'm dizzy, I'm sorry. So he's going to sit down. He's going to use his illness so he can sit down and chat with the gaze when he's not

supposed to be sitting. He's not even supposed to be up there because he's supposed to be sick. So then the older gay is like, oh, tell me everything Kyle, how is the season? And he's like, well, it's been an interesting ride that's for sure for me, that's for sure, had a brat Natali who's on here, and she will neither, either, be a good friend to me.

And then we see a clip of Kyle's greatest hit of the season, which was lying on the ground, going, I can't take the drama! I'm just dying, dying to be a good person! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! After starting literally every bit of drama that's happened, every bit of drama. So, Kyle's like, you know, coming in, you have expectations, and I think that was my downfall, all, you know, me coming in, expecting Natalia to be a good friend, and she wasn't just a little slut, that's basically what he's saying, that's what expectations were.

And the main gay is like, so, okay, that's all great. Has any love the flashback? By the way, love that. Has anybody complained about the food? He's like, no, somebody. Kyle, you've been in bed. You've been in bed four out of five days, okay? Yeah. What do you talk about?

I know that they've been on their more days than that. You know what I mean? 90 something percent of the time. And then we realize the primers don't really care. They don't care about what's going on in Kyle's life. He just wants to complain. So he's like, I want to tell you how much a chef sucks, so you can go have drama with the chef, which I can't believe Kyle didn't jump all over

because he hates the chef. Or maybe now he won't jump on the chef because he knows the chef will stand up to him and Kyle's just a bully and can't be stood up to you. I don't know, I don't know my read on that yet. So Billy is like, I mean, coming on, I was like, I'm gonna meet with a chef, I'm gonna talk about what I like, the temperature of the meat, and then the pecanja came out,

and it was like bloody. And if you're not gonna do whatever you're gonna do, then there's like no value in me, even telling you in the first place, it's like, oh God, lady, take a seat. Right. I'm gonna get seriously. Are you still on about meat temperatures?

He literally gave you five plates of meat. They offered, that you got your, you got your well done, the bloody meat came up first and they offered it to you to be polite. Like that's just how it is. Yeah. And so then, and Kyle's like, well, oh, go look what the menu,

and I'll have a little chip with you like that. So whatever that means. So then, I don't know what that has to do with the bloody meat, but I guess, well, I'm like sure that all look at the menu and bloody meat, snowed on it. I bet there. So then meanwhile, the laundry room looks amazing. Lily has suddenly become like a super stew. So to me is really impressed.

And she was like, wow, Sandy's pep talk really kicked Lily into gear. I probably also helped that Kyle was sequestered in his room, not flustering her, so she could actually focus on the job. And then Tum is like, oh yeah, makes me remember that, you know, yeah, I was once in that position and you got a hold space and give time for people to grow yada yada. So then the captain is in the mess with Luca and Max Alora and Luke Max is eating is like, oh, look at you. Yeah, food is like I do. She's like, wow, look at you even telling the truth. Finally, that was good.

I see you eating and you've got food. We're on the right track. Okay. Vegetarian, right? Guys, guys, back away from Max's food. Everybody back away. Okay. It's all he's eaten today. it's all he's eating today it's all he's gonna eat listen as Max eats down the

food down the hatch So then the gays are the gays are unwell. One of them is like, I just have nervous energy. I just want to go, I want to do something. I want to do something. I want to do something. So you're really yacht, relax. Yeah. So Chimmy is telling us like, you know, it's very difficult because these guys know what they want

and she needs Kyle in situations like this because Kyle brings the energy. No, and she's like, I mean, unless you're a woman, he hates the women. But he does, he is able to deal with, you know, aging queens who fall in over. So they don't mind their server sitting at their table. Because these queens are that type, like as long as they can complain about meat temperature, they're like, sure, how the waiter said at the table, would you know, I hate even though Gussie used to sit at the table all the time when he was waiting tables me because I'm a hypocrite. Really? But I would do it. I would at times, you know,

like once you're real close with people, like, oh my God, I'm just gonna sit because we're friends because then they feel guilty if they don't give you a huge tip because it's like, we're friends. He was sitting with us. I hate it. I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I'm waiting for you. I hate it. I hate it because it's like, I'm not your friend and now you're sitting here and I have to have this fake conversation with you. And I can't be cool to you because I don't want to be mean to like, you know, someone who's working in service, that, you

know, like, it's a hard job and like, I don't want to be a dick. But like, also, I'm not your friend. And that's what I hated about going to club bed. Because in club bed, there's like strange boundary issues where like the people who work there are like they're actually I think mandated to try to be your friends so they will they literally sit at your table at dinner and so it's like our whole family it's like a lot in the waiter it's like club leva no thanks yeah it's like it's just to I don't you know I don't mind at like a club if like the waiter waitresses is like being friendly and like you're like happy.

And like obviously if you're like getting along and you're like, oh my god, sit down. That's great. But like if they just sit down to be like, okay, I just have to tell you the specials. But I need to take a seat. Do you mind if I take a seat? What are the specials? I'm like, no, because I have to have a conversation with you. I don't want this.

Yeah. No, because I have to have a conversation with you. I don't want this. Yes, so I hate it as a customer. Love it as a waiter. It's a good tactic as a waiter, but you know, as a customer. The customer you're onto it. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending, but the worst part is, if they step out of line or fall in love with the wrong person, it changes the course of

history. I'm Aresha Skidmore Williams, and I'm Brooke Sifrin. We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit Wondery Show Even the Rich, and talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and Daily, we're going all over the world on our new show Even the Royals. We'll be diving headfirst into the lives of the world's kings, queens, and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout history. Think succession meets the crown meets real life.

We're going to pull back the gilded curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else. Like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow Even The Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Even The Royals early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So, um, then, um, let's see. So then we go to Kyle and to me and she's like, oh my god, they've got those zoom, zooms. And the Kyle's like, yeah, they're complaining about this shift board the way. But guess what, all that's as much shit as I can stalk. So I'm not feeling well, I'm gonna go lay down.

I was actually a good person to people and it's exhausted. Yeah. Oh, it's too hard. You know, in my headache, it's conveniently come back after I've taken some time to have a kiki. So in the wheelhouse,

Luca gets a text that Kitty Flood is in Portofino. Bravo, really trying to make Katy Flood a thing. They really are. I was so Katy Flood really trying to make Katy Flood a thing. You know, like when did Katy Flood ever care? I feel like when she was actually on below, to actually was like, fuck this show. Like she was barely there.

She was, yeah, she was fine. I will have some drama with you. She's like, I'm very tired and have a messy pony. They still love go to say about it. And then she'll just kind of walk off. And now I think she's like, you know what? This is my mom, four years later, like how much later is it?

I feel like it's been a while ago. Yeah, she was on like three years ago, I think. And she got walked all over first by Lexi. And then she was like, remember she fired the girl, the red hair and she, you know, I don't remember. And the point is, they're really trying to make it happen. I still haven't finished Winterhouse.

I am going to try to finish it. I got far enough into the season where I should really see it all the way through, but like, what will you finish first? Winterhouse or doom? Let's see, both take place in wastelands. Both have giant worms that will kill you. So, I don't know. You're actually praying for the ground to open up and swallow the cap.

I'm rooting both of the things. I'm rooting for the worm in Winterhouse. I'll tell you that much. Just swallow this cast up. I'm sorry. I think the last thing I saw in Winterhouse, Katie and Tom finally, because I had that maybe just like midway through the season. I don't know. It's just so stupid. I do love that blank face blonde girl who will never see again,

who's just like, like, she's just like rude. She was actually at KC. She actually turned out to be pretty decent by the end. I like her. I like her because she seemed to hate everyone. She actually ended up being super cool. She got, oh, God, we're going to talk about this now. Are we? Why are we doing this? But she actually ended up being super cool. Danielle was crazy. Yeah. That's why I'm going to watch it again. It's so awkward for to watch Danielle because it wasn't just summer house. She continued to be fucking crazy in And in a crunchy way. And then the reunion, she totally got away with it. And she was still like, like proud of herself.

It was bizarre. And Sam really, to Sam and Danielle, I have to say made that season work because Sam came on and finally got really upset with Malia, but then it was so sad because Sam so insecure. And she's just, her boyfriend's like blatantly cheating on her on TV and she's like crying and trying to blame the woman.

I mean, it was just, I ended up being a lot better than how it started. Yeah, I, I noticed every week, like Danielle would trend on Twitter and people like, she has lost her mind. So I'm like, okay, I need to stay on this to get to Danielle because I know I also know these shows sometimes can have a rough start, but it was a really rough start. But I'm gonna get to it, I'm gonna get to it. It was a rush, especially because we have to make

the nominations for the crappies. I feel like I should see it through and find out all the stuff. Yada, yada. Anyway, Katy Flood, not a thing. It doesn't really need to win anything. Spoiler alert. Okay, so let's go to biggest waste of smell about that.

Literally both cocaine and actual natural smell. I will say didn't help this show either one. The copious amounts of either version of snow did not help this show. Well Katie flood is also not helping Bravo. I mean she's fine she's just like an on entity. Well, Katie Flood is also not helping Bravo. I mean, she's fine. She's just like a non-entity. So, she is in Portofino.

And so, Luca gets the text and Luca's in the wheelhouse with Sandy. And Sandy is like, oh, you have a crush on Katie? Because your smile is one of a crush. That is a smile of a crush right there. Awesome. It's got a crush smile. Someone's got a crash smile. And Lucas, like, no, only she's cute

and she's one of my mites. And he's like, oh, I don't think Sandy has a clue about me and Katie floated the moment. He's doing that shifty-eyed thing where he's looking back and forth. And it's so cute how much, much like little cute guys get away with. And I think like he's, if this guy was homely, people would be like, ooh, disgusting pervert, sex addict.

Absolutely. But because he's cute and shifty, I'd, it's okay, you know? Right. So then, so to me calls Luca to let him know that guess I have to go to the castle and everything. And then Lily is with Billy. She's making a drink and she goes, Billy and Lily and he goes, oh yeah, Billy and Lily, that's right.

You know, he was probably like, hold on, I'm just gonna call my travel agent for a second. What the fuck, ya, did you put me on? Where the service people, some dumb bitch, just did Billy and Lily as if we're a thing and we're not a thing. Excuse me, I wanna refund. Thank you so much for this, Mark Rita, Lily. Mm-hmm. T.S., if I was straight, I would totally be with somebody

named Lily because our couple name would still be Billy. I win. That's why I took a job at Eli Lilly so I could be like Eli Billy. Almost so, let's see. So who cares? Okay, so Max is like, I'm Sulta Ayah. I've been wake since 6 a.m.

And they're like, because they ask, I'm sorry. I get lost in my notes on this show so bad. It's everybody knows I'm sorry. In my notes. One band band back to Fleetwood Mac. No, that's Debbie Gibson. Yeah. Oh, I see you said wrong band.

Yeah, wrong band. Come back. Come back to Fleetwood Mac. I know, but now I'm blanking on all the food and back songs because this is what happens to me. So I'm sad. In line. Tomkins. Okay. So, uh, Laura basically they ask Max to go or Max is like, no, I'm not going to go. I'm tired. Right. He did not do it. Yeah. And Laura's like, fine, I will go. I will do it. Yeah. And by the way, Max told us that he gets stressed out and the way that he gets past that is just watching cat videos online.

So then it cuts to Max and bed watching Cam videos. Okay. So then Lily has to entertain the guests. So she comes up with a game called Murderer, and I was really rooting for her at this point, because I do not like these guests. I was like, do it! Do it! Here's a knife. Yeah, so, Lily's like, okay, well, I like Bloodboard games.

We can play this, even though it's by a stupid bitch. And Lily's like, okay, it's a really fun game because I have a family and replay games together. So the game, I'm not totally sure how the game works, but she's like, okay, so what you're gonna do is you're gonna write down Lily, what are you doing, John, or something like that. I don't forget, right, that I'm the game, but it continues on.

But if you write Billy D. Williams, you're back in the game, but if you write a down, you're out again. But if you write B.L.E.D. Williams, you're back in the game. But if you write Adele, you're out again. But if you write down Pierce Brosnan, you're half in the game. And just someone also says Salina Gomez, and then you're fully in the game. Everyone follow. Yeah, it's like a power, it's a power of deduction game

where she just gives everybody a celebrity. And they only they know who they are. So they each have to guess They have to I think they all come up with the celebrities and then they're all assigned the celebrities because Lily goes okay We have King Kong Janet Jackson Martha Stewart Charles Darwin

George Washington which by the way to me really sums up this group of gays like this These are the celebrities you picked out of course you can get Janet Jackson anytime you place celebrity with gays We're gonna put in Janet Jackson Martha Stewart Oprah Beyonce Madonna like those five are always in it So that makes sense that Janet Jackson Martha Stewart's there But then Charles Darwin and George Washington and King Kong No And then this is the game. Are you George Washington?

No. Are you George Washington? No. Is the Megan King admits O tool game? No. Are you a Charles Darwin? No. Wait, Brian, I think that you are Charles Darwin.

So we're intercutting with people setting up the picnic and then they're like, okay, we're ready to take the people to the picnic thing and then he's like, all right, I need to pull this from then. And one of the guys, because that was really fun. Yeah, because the entire game you're saying no to things. That's like their favorite activity. You are Madonna.

No. You spiritually, yes. Fitsically no. You are the judge from the original version. Lucas annoyed because Max has told him no. And people need to deal with these ads, because he's the boss. So then they go to this castle place for their picnic thing,

and Katie Flood is texting Luka saying, she's gonna kind of visit him. She wants to come visit. And then we're back in the mess. The captain just, I like him, the captain just gets bored with Netflix and starts walking around the boat. Cause yeah, she just always causes shit, right?

So now she's in the mess again. And someone's eating and she goes, what's that? And then, it's like fish pie and we hear ting, ting. And the captain's like, oh, is that your girlfriend texting you from the other boat? Luka!

Luka, is that Katie flood? The girl that you're madly in love with because I can tell because it's a smile of a crush. Is that who it is, Luka, who that Katie Flood, the girl that you're madly in love with, because I can tell, because it's a smile of a crush. Is that who it is, Luka, who you're texting? Ha, Luka, setting a little dick pick, is that what you do? Ha, Luka. And Jess is completely shocked. And Jess's face doesn't move a lot.

It's hard to tell what Jess is thinking, because she loves the Botox. Yeah. And listen, hey, it's my goal. She definitely has my goal talks. but she opens her mouth a little. So no one can really tell how mad she is or how annoyed she is or whatever. And so Lucas is like, oh, she's on the other boat. She's like, oh, you know what?

I knew it. I knew she was close because of your face. Look everybody. Look at smitten. Look at smitten. The only one shocked here is the girl with her jaw on the ground. Okay close it. Do you want me to put some pasta in there first? Do not say no. Okay I don't like liars. Did it in, did it in, Swin! Sorry, anyone know Tessk? No, no one knows Tessk. Okay. Um, okay, so then, um,

Jess is like, what fucking girlfriend to us? And look, it's like, what does Smith mean? So, two of me's like, oh my God, Sandy has no idea what she's doing. How does it- I know, it was gonna get out of this one. It was amazing by the way, this scene was hilarious. Sandy has this big smile.

She thinks she's just around like one of the crew members, like oh Lucas got a girl, Lucas got a crush. And she has no idea that she's totally destroying his situation with Jess. Oh, it was hilarious. So then Lucas, like listen, we just have mutual friends. I mean, Katy Flutch used to go out with one of my mates. He likes her. He likes her. She was like, oh, yeah, that's great. He's like, yeah, he likes her. Oh, God, he likes her.

You know where he wants to see her? I want to see Katy flood everywhere. And is that the lyric? I'm not sure. This is a nice song though I just did. I don't know I ran out. That was my last one I think. I don't think I have anymore. I don't know. I mean, unless we go into the small ufer of Stevie Nick songs, but I think that's about it, huh? Yeah, I'm pretty much done with those So The guests are on top of the church and they're like oh my god Both of amazing churches. Yes. Yes church. So Kyle is talking to the captain and she is checking on his head And he's like I'm struggling

to the captain and she's checking on his head. And he's like, I'm struggling, struggling to speak, I can't even speak. She's like checking on him in his room. She goes, okay, well, you know, if you decide you can't speak, speak to me, I would love that. I would love that. Yeah, hey, if you don't feel better,

if you can't get any sleep, let me know, okay? So then, he's like, absolutely, I will. So now Lily's making spicy margaritas up on the castle for the gaze and then Laura's with her and Laura's like, oh, I was a bartender for two years and I wanted to make more tips. So me and this one girl, we would take off our shirts and we'd get on the bar and do body shots

and the tips start rolling in, making that dollar like a stripper. Ah! and making that dollar like a stripper. Ha! And the guys are getting muddled drinks, so they love it, because it's like too much effort. Can we have drinks with the most effort required?

Thanks. Like I would like a muddled, but like muddled slightly plus. Yeah, we want to make sure you seem like we want you to muddle so hard you might catch the flute from it. Thanks. So Then Lucas telling Max to rinse the jetskies and Lucas really mad at Max because Max he had asked Max to go to the castle Max He said no, so Max said I was fucking tired bro and Lucas like yeah, but you've had some food and you're feeling better

He's like oh yeah, because they can you know when I ask you to do something Oh, I don't complain. I'm just like saying like we have gas to satisfy. Okay, and like I'm exhausted You know, and like I want to get the best you see to my energy and I'm not controlling when I'm like fucking exhausted Yes He's like well you've got to do things that you asked to do. He's like, but La La said she is going. So this is okay by me. And he's like, oh my god, he's like, I'm tired. This is what I'm great. I'm okay. I like two at the same words. Oh, look, it's like we're all tired. Okay. So then Max is telling us, I do not appreciate being told to like a child.

I'm going into simple mode of yes, yes, yes, yes, except that you did. Which is kind of the problem. I also call this required of you really saying yes a lot. I know this happens all the time on blood deck. There's always some self-involved tweet who's just like, the what about the vegetables I want to eat or I needed to get more sleep. And they always say like, you know what? I'm just going going to say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and that'll be it. I'm like, yeah, that's the point. People always say that is if they're like

getting their boss back. I was like, no, that's what the boss wants. But when you ask you to do something, you say, yes, they always do this. Like, I'll, you know what? Next time they ask me to do something, I'll just do it and I'll say yes and they'll see. I mean, I'll say. Yeah, you think I'm not doing a good job, but I'm going to give you 200%. It's like, oh, good. So their management style worked. Congratulations.

So then let's see. Laura is calling Luca to go pick up the customer. The guest-tomers, the customer is the customer. He sends Max, but Max is just getting out of the shower. He's like, hurry, hurry, Max is like, oh, I'll show you by running. Yeah. So they're all gathering to leave and everything. And Max comes back with the guests and the guest are like, oh my God, the service was

impeccable, love Lily. Billy and Lily, am I right? Billy and Lily, Billy didn't you love that? When she said Billy and Lily, he's like, you guys all be quiet, stop it now. So basically, the next thing is that they're gonna be doing dinner in the dark, they're gonna be having a blindfolded dinner and Billy,

which I don't know why you'd go on a yacht to do this. I mean, literally the point of being on a yacht to do this. I mean literally the point of being on a yacht is so you can see the view around you, but like whatever you do you. So, right? Like, I want to be on a yacht so I can eat food and not look at the ocean around me. It was, I mean, at least something new, at least saying, well, I'm like, okay, Luca, you have to strip. That's true, but we are gonna have to be just like on every blow deck for the next three years. Yeah, this is the first of many blind tastings

that we're gonna be getting on this. I know, it's like the Gatsby parties, which by the way, Gatsby chocolates, thank you, thank you to the good people at Gatsby chocolates. They sent us a whole bunch of chocolates. Yeah, Gatsby chocolate did send us some chocolate and they're good, they're like lower,

lower in the calories If you're trying to be careful and they were really lovely My personal favorite is Fudge Brownie, so thank you. I like the salted guts. What's it called? I don't know But either way it was really good. Yeah, so thanks guys. We love gifts We love gifts. Yeah, and bread and butter wine. We also got that bread and butter wine You I think you said you had you got yours. I got my my thing. So thanks bread and butter wine. We also got the bread and butter wine. I think you said you got yours, I got my thing. So thanks, bread and butter wine. That's really nice of you.

Yeah, guys. Gift on. Love that stuff. Gift on. So they're talking about doing this, dining in the dark thing and the chefs like, darn it, the dark has to be really strong flavor of right? Cause they taste first with your eyes.

Like me, Harry Potter. It's strange,, right? Cause you taste first with your eyes. Like me, Harry Potter. You'll be strange, but it's true. I do, I can do whatever I want, cause I can't see it. My food basically has me visibility clock. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. So then Lily says something about Macs about chemistry

or no chemistry or something, I didn't really care. And then now the guests are sitting at the table and Billy is like, I'm going to get my senses ready to go. Really? Are you Tina Turner? No. I have nothing to do with that. I don't know why you asked me that right at that moment because we're still playing the

game. And to me is telling Jess, oh my god, we have to direct these people. And Jess is like, that's gonna be messy. So, to me is nervous because this is a test of her communication skills. And Kyle is down. And then we just cut to Kyle. Like, oh my god. Percent. It's like smelling this.

This leg is hanging off. So, the first course are oysters and a minion net sauce. And two minutes having them all touch the plate and then the ramikin and then they're like the spoon and they have to like figure it out. And it looks like it's going to be a total disaster. But they actually do a pretty good job with it. They're actually able to get the food into their mouths. And they like it.

When everyone goes, oh my God, what are we eating? Someone goes, yeah, what is that? And Aubrey goes, it's an oyster guy. I was like, no, it's not. It's not, how do you not know what an oyster is? I get that you see, I get the color. It's a color flak.

You're, is it, is it broccoli? I get that you eat with your eyes first, but an oyster is so specifically, booger-y and salty. Like, how do you not? Is this Melody Griffith? No. The game does not apply to our food, Billy.

I can tell you what it is. Seven Linders. Sorry. I just wanted to get an Italian carb based on a fleet with MacSaw mixed with lies. Well, sorry, I'll go back to watching Netflix. If anyone wants to talk about something messy, I'll be waiting in the mess hall for Macs to eat something and not lie about it later. Just like the lies we tell, says the lies of the beroony role. The proony of the dark dinner.

The smell. U, U, Lies, U. commercials here comes one right now So um now they go on to eat something else and they're trying to get fish on a fork and Aubrey's like this is a sticky fish. It's yellow tail. It's yellow. Tell us sticky fish And then one of the gays just goes, I told you it was a white fish. It's like, okay, settle dad over there with the quarter. I feel like yellowtail is not that staky of a fish, is it? What do I feel? Well, because I guess it's tuna.

I guess I always have it in sushi, so. Yeah, it could be. Okay. It could be. I would think like swordfish mainly for a staky fish. Me too. I love a swordfish. Well, people serve like a seared tuna, sort of mainly for a steaky fish. Me too. I love a swordfish. Well, people serve like a seared tuna,

sort of like in a steak style. Ah, seared tuna, I think is so meh. I don't like seared tuna. I like cooked tuna though. I love a tuna steak that's cooked, but I do not like gelatinousy pink tuna. I hate it. I hate it.

It's like, it's like, I just always feel like it's under seasoned. I always feel like it's under-seasoned. I always feel like it's under-seasoned, right? Me knew I had that. I haven't had it in years. That's like very 2000, a serenade, you know, salad. Yeah. So Lara is sent to Luka.

She's like, oh, it's just as it's awkward between you guys. And she's like, yeah, because she needs to take in the piss. And she goes, oh, well, she's not happy. You gotta speak to her. Oh! So, yeah, Lucas Bayes is like, yeah, I gotta forget this out. Because, you know, I'm not dating Katie Flood and Jess, like, we're more than just friends.

So, I don't know. Yeah. So, let's see, Staky fish, cap comes to the table. So the captain comes up and she's like, oh, hi everybody, it's me, captain. Oh, darn, I wanted to scare you. To scare anybody. Okay, hold on.

I'm gonna try it again. Oh, that's hilarious. Wow, you guys are really blindfolded. No one can see anything. Well, I'll tell you, even a blind person can see that Lucas clearly bling it, bangin' Katie flat in my right. Right, wow.

Wow, look at all these blind people here. Blindfolded people here, they can't see a thing. Norma sounds like I get your next five dates lined up for ya. Huh? Oh, it's good. It's a good Norma, Norma burn. I pretend I didn't see that. Get it, get dumb bitch. Loop.

Hey, uh, you know what? I don't, uh, I don't need my perspective lovers to be able to see me because I gotta, I gotta have a giant on meat of magic. What do you have, bitch? Bloop. Wow. Well, Norma really took it there. You really went there, huh? Okay, so then we go to Laura and they kiss. Yeah. Norma's like, I'm gonna skip the funny business. I'm not in no mood.

I'm done. There's a loop down. I'm like gonna tap mood. I'm trying. There's some loop going around. I'm like at a top that magical vagina. Okay. I'm still stuck on Stinky Fish Yellow Tail. Okay. There's some things you just can't get over in one episode. Bloop.

Hey, don't come for me until unless I send for you, Sandy. Bloop. Shh. No, guess what? Every time I send for you, it takes about five weeks to get a new employee. So how about I just five weeks early for the next season, put in a request and send for a new employee. How about that?

Can't get it together, normal? Blu. Hey Sandy, maybe if your split ended hair wasn't so full of disease, your crew members wouldn't keep getting sick. Bloop! Well, you know what? Maybe I could learn to keep a crew member if you could learn to keep a hair follicle. Am I right, thinner? Bloop! Well, you know, my hair may be a little thin up here, but

at least I have the decency to shave down there. I like you. Bloop. Listen, Norma, at the end of the day down there is just how my soul is every time it's around you and your snarkiness. It's bare. It's bare. Okay. Well, it makes me a little sad to hear that your soul is as disheveled as your overgrown bush. So I'm gonna just end this right here. Oh my gosh, you should have ended it about five years ago, like your career. Love your bitch. Love you, love you to bitch.

Okay, so then Laura is talking to the chef and Luca and the galley and she's like, Jeff is just as pissed, you have to speak to her and look as like, well, we're not in a relationship and it's not what I'm dating Katie Float. I mean, we're not in a relationship and he's not like I'm dating Katie float. I mean, we're just friends I mean if I was texting him more than as more than just a friend. I mean, that's not really Well, I don't know. I don't even know what I'm saying right now Listen, you're very cute and you have the right to have sex with whoever you want You're a sex addict and it's gonna become less cute and about

Thirty years less cute in about 33 years. So then look who goes up to sand is like, oh, you're getting me into trouble. She's with who? And there was like, just they've been swaying. Oh, shit, I didn't know anything. So when you say swaying, what is that? That was that mean we have flags on board? What's going on with the swing? And I don't understand the slang. How about that Katie flood? Oh, you got that smile of a crash on your face again.

So sure. And I don't, I've never heard that either. This slang. And then she's like banging her palm under her fist. Like, yeah, this, this, what is it? I thought she said swaying like the swing. Yeah, the swaying, yeah, she doesn't want to sway swaying, like the swaying. Yeah, the swaying, yeah, she doesn't want to sway him now anymore, the swaying. So she's like, oh god, I had no idea.

Don't hate the player, hate the game. Well, it's the way the cookie crumbles, am I right? No, you spent crying over spilled milk, okay? If anyone wants to book me for one as a motivational speaker, I do, then I just have to say the grass is always greener on the other side. When norm is enhanced, it's worth more than to a norm is and my bush. I forgot what we were talking about. This is what it sounds like when norm I cries. It's not even a cliche. It's just something I like to say. So Lily is doing the laundry and Lucas texting Jess about how he spoke to Laura.

And he's like, I understand how you're pissed, but you need to understand that Captain Sandy is just taking the piss. Okay. Now you're just lying. You know, I think you have a like to stand on when you're like, listen, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm that's it, but you can't just like, top being a player on top of lying. You know? I think you have to stick with your whole like, we're not dating, I thought we're just casual,

even though it's still a mind-fuck. Yeah, so now the final course goes up to the table. It's Chuck the Moose with Poach Pear. They all love it. And Kyle is still sleeping They keep just showing Kyle sleeping and just just trying to avoid Luca and she's like, I mean You know the thing with Luca is that like let's see if I'm fucked up if I give in but I'm not fucked up right now So I'm not giving in wow. Yeah, the love of strength. Yeah, the strength that you're showing. This is a real

You're a real your real Norma Ray of hookups right now This is like the last act of Barbie basically. I know. Where's Rhea Pearlman because this was like a huge step This is a big one guys. So then um They get their dessert the guests get their dessert and Billy's like, oh my God, hold on. Just chocolate and oysters, is it oysters? I'm really think it's a pair. Jesus fucking prize.

You were the worst gaze. I have yellow tail. It's yellow tail, isn't it? No. So, um, let's see. So then, Tumi is talking about how proud she is of Jess because of her communication, even though she's got a disastrous love life. And she's like, between her disastrous love life

and car being ill and lily thriving, I mean, I think we've been doing pretty well in all of this. And I think the real X factor is Kyle being nowhere to be seen. That's suddenly the interior flourishes. Go think you're the last. Everybody just able to do their job and nobody's stressing out, nobody's crying,

nobody's freaking out. Wow, I wonder what's missing. Yeah, literally the last time the interior did well was the first charter where Kyle wasn't there. Yeah, remember there was that girl from the Sprouts, from Sprouts, Sprouts Air was the stew. So I'll always think of that, even every time I think of Sprouts,

I came, I found an old Sprouts card in my wallet today, I was cleaning it out, because I couldn't fit my new TJ Max card in there. And so I took it out and I thought of that girl. I don't remember the girl's name or face, but I do remember that there was somebody who was related to somebody who invented sprouts that worked here for a day this season. Yeah. And she looked kind of like carry-underwood.

So Lucas again texting Jess, saying like, listen, well, I'm sorry if that piece you off, but I even spoke to Sandy better. She didn't realize it was a problem. And Jess is like, well, you don't have to lie, Lucas, it's fine. I'm gonna go to bed. I don't have the energy to deal with this. So meanwhile, the Gays now, they want a late night snack.

So they asked Lily to get a late night snack. They're thinking like chips or whatever. And Lily is excited because she apparently loves to cook and she's been on a previously. She was on a boat where she was the only to do and the only chef and she just loves to do it. So she gets Max to help her make guacamole. Meanwhile, Max on anchor watch, I think like there's more important things for Max to be doing than like finding an avocado for you. So she goes down to the galley and she spends about 45 minutes making some guacamole. And I respect her game because she really is making one of those loaded versions where she's like putting a pe- she's making a pico de galle and then putting that with the avocado

car. I do enjoy that. I do enjoy that. I put avocado, put some lime and salt in it and send it to the pizza. Yeah, it shouldn't take that long. I'm sorry. Take some, take some stormy sauce, that chop, chop. Okay, you're talking about the guys who want

medium-well plops. Is this an oyster? Billy, you don't even have your blind vulcan. It's black and moly. So they're of course getting pissedy. They're like, oh my god, it's been like, we should just ask for fucking milkshakes. Where is she? Did she die? Did she die? That'd be so amazing if she died. Wouldn't that be like just so tragic and hilarious if she died down there making our guacamole? I'm missing.

The girl that made this place plain murder just died. By the way, are you towards Washington? No, who is towards Washington? We never got to finish that game. So now it's the morning and everyone's waking up. Oh God, oh God, hold on. Guys, I've been in the mess hall. Now I haven't been watching my favorite show on Netflix. Wind. I just got up with the newest episode. Oh, no. And it's not good. Deckeru, Deckeru, I just saw the coming, I just saw wind coming in the next five minutes. Guys, wind is coming. Wind is coming more than Luca comes

when he hears Katie Flatt is next door. You should have seen the latest episode of wind. Wow, it like broke the internet. When wind looked at the ocean and said receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots, wow, I was, I die, I die. And so Laura is now sick. She's like, my body is sore,

there's like a choose that I've got. And Luke's like, oh Jesus, she ends, we find out she's very fluid. It's not. It's not. Flu Jesus, and we find out she's very fluy. It's not fluy. Not fluy Lewis in the news. So she's feeling bad, but she actually works when she's sick. She pushes the room. In this case, Melisyn, Kyle's a big faker,

and he needs to get his ass out of bed and stop complaining and crying constantly. He's embarrassing. If you have the flu though, get the fuck out of here. What are you touching everything with the flu? I don't know nothing from haven't we just like are we still in a period of time where people care about? Don't we learn nothing for the past few years Yeah, so do we learn nothing? So of course college does that thing where he's so so he

So he is waking up and he's like, oh, I feel so much better. Anything you, anybody you need to plug me into me, I'm here for you. He does that thing where it's like that over compensation of like, I am ready to work. I'm a great worker. Look at me declaring that I'm ready to work. What do you have for like two days straight? Yeah.

So he's not a person that at the dinner party comes in once he hears the water running like once he hears the sink water Stop running who's like can I help with dishes? Like you bitch like you literally sat there and talked for 20 minutes and heard clinking and clinking and the second The water went off you came in and offered help. Yes, that is exactly right So so then to me is asking Jess about Luca and just like, I mean, he wants to hang out after this is over. And if I keep hanging out with someone, I'm bound to get attached. And that's why this whole thing really bothered me because I'm starting to feel myself getting attached. And if I'm going to, it's if I'm all about being present,

while I might as well just enjoy these last few days and that's really it. To me it's like, I'm sorry, I just took a very long unexpected nap. What would you sing again? Can you please? To me it's response is actually so funny because she goes, you know what? I don't know what to tell you.

So do whatever you want and I'll tell you what I think later. Yeah. Just like, nothing I say is gonna matter. You're gonna keep banging this guy because he's hot, okay? And you can keep pretending that you don't care because that is the theme right now on Bravo where people just say, I'm just casual. I'm totally fine with being casual and then five minutes later they're like, please, please

I'm fl thanks for me. I'll add Danielle on Winterhouse. That's just Bravo's new thing. It's like, wow, people who think they can be casual, but really can't be casual. Of course. So then Kyle's like, I'm taking over today for sure. Like finally the pain is gone. The fact that the team has done so well,

even when I was not present, to me, good on you girl, you're the boss beach I came to work with. It's like, okay, so now you're gonna kiss ass. This is exactly what it does. Kiss asses, and then he's like, oh wow, they did so well, even when I wasn't there, they still matched you well.

It's like because you weren't there Kyle, not even though. I don't know, and then he sees Billi or whoever. He's like, oh, look, it's me, I'm so much better now. They're great, thanks dude, on our last day of charter. And he says, yeah, I mean, while you're here, I have the migraine, and when you leave, I'm okay, it's so weird. I would believe it's like, I wouldn't know

that laugh anywhere, I hate batch coming for a hug. I'm like, of course, of course you two love each other so So then max is like oh I'm wondering if I love seeing I wonder if there's like some beauty that's being put on this boat or like a rich casting a spell of some sort Shush and Who says who says that someone's like an iPhone shutting down? Max is saying... Max, it's Max.

Yeah, Max is the one around me. He's like, yeah, he's like, I'm not mayor, Luke. I know he's doing his job and everyone can be grumpy. But like, and I know deep down he's a good guy. Like, you know, but like, you make me sleep and you can make a reset. Like an iPhone, like a cool crazy and you go, Oh, Vood! And then you reset the phone oh blah

so now Luca text Jess to have a talk and then they go and they go away from the cameras and start making out but then the cameras come in and Jess is like no bad vibes alright hers what I want, just nothing bad. Like we're totally casual. Who are you texting right now? The casual, yeah. So she's like, this whole situation is like, really annoying, but at the same time,

it's like not my business, who he's talking to. So they're fine, they're fine. She's like, wait a second, I'm banging a hot guy. I don't know why I'm going to bang a hot guy again. Let's do it. Let's go for it. Looks like, um, I mean, they're no strings. Imagine if people found out I was also talking to Natalia. Because by the way, the entire time, we haven't even talked about this entire time. The entire, you keep on saying like, miss your face, miss your face. I miss that face of yours, miss your face. You know what face I miss, yours, I miss yours.

I've been tall, yeah, we find out later, hasn't even left, which is kind of funny. She's just like, oh, really? You're gonna miss with me? Oh, I quit. And then just sit, start waiting for them to be like, oh, we come back. Yeah.

We come back to the show. We're come back to the boat. Although I wouldn't leave you there. I mean, I'd be like, I've been genoa now. I come back to the show her come back to the boat. Although I wouldn't leave either I mean I'd be I'd be like I've been to Noah now I've been to hang out But I guess she was she quick as she wants to go back to her boyfriend, right? To know she quit because Kyle was a fucking monster all that too Yeah, too So also then Luca finally started

Luca I think she it was, the her excuse was Kyle, but also that's right when Luca kept catching her, kept watching her text her boyfriend and was like, fine, fuck this, I'm going to start flirting with Jess instead. Yeah, I'm sure that couldn't have helped. So either way, now they're docking and Laura just feels terrible. She goes, I honestly feel like a bag of dicks. Ah! So then the guys are taking departing shots and we see the goodbyes and they're like,

guys, this was super fun. Kyle, love you so much. What a surprise it was to not see you all charter, but otherwise, Guy's incredible. Jack, I mean, it was kind of a stumble at the beginning. We need more gay fun and less hotel breakfast, but what does that mean? Less fun.

Why don't you be fun or gay fun? Yeah, be more fun gays and have a more fun gay breakfast. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's not the eggs. It's the eggs. How about like, not be a cliche gay? How about that? Like, what, like, okay, I'm gay and therefore I have to,

when I go on to a yacht, I have to have a gay breakfast. That doesn't even like make sense. Like, okay, everything has to be rainbow. I mean, I get that you, like, people are interested. Actually, I didn't like the rainbow. We're supposed to know. We don't even know what a gay breakfast is. What do they say?

No, that's the thing that makes no sense, but these guys are so uncreative. They're like, how about a gay breakfast? Let's make a breakfast that's gay. Okay. It's like, okay, sure. Fine. Like, think outside the box.

Like a gay breakfast, you shouldn't call it a gay breakfast. You call it like a patty lapone breakfast. Now you gotta gay breakfast. Right, you need to be more specific, you know, like how cliche are we going? Are we going like real old queen? Like it's a mommy dearest breakfast or we just, I mean, yeah, a new specific thing. So the chef's like, is that the only critic of gold? It's pretty good there, isn't it? I need to pass on the back. So Sandy texts Haley to see how she's doing after the guest leave. And she's like, I'm throwing up two full days

of throwing up. And then there's gonna be a tip meeting and Sandy's there, no one else. And she goes, well, hey everyone, since no one's here, I'm taking the cash and I'm gonna go shop in. Oh, don't worry, I was just the cash and I'm gonna go shopping. Huh? Oh, don't worry, I was just joking.

I was just joshing around. That's a little sandy humor for all of you guys. Mm-hmm. I was just joshing. I mean, how many pairs of white capris can you own? You know what I mean? A lot. A lot actually.

I just answered my own question, but. God, I love Capri's. Yeah, I wonder what they call them here in Italy. Can you call capri pants? Capri's if you're in Capri. So then I miss hailey. I miss hailey. I know that hailey doesn't do a lot, but sometimes you just need beaker.

You know what I mean? I need hailey back, being like, mm-hmm. mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. I miss it, come back Haley, okay? So everybody is falling over dead, but the guest tipped 30,000. Doll world. Yeah, 32,000, it was huge. So Tumey gives this big shout out to Lily

for coming up so much, and Tumey is really feeling like a really good chiefs to do this charter because she got success with people that don't have a lot of experience. And so she's giving herself a pat on the child's shoulder. So now they're cleaning Laura's still sick, but she's doing that thing where she's sick, but trying to also work.

So she's like going up to the staircase. She's getting her germs everywhere, just getting her flu all over the place and Because she knows it maxes and gonna do shit. So she's gonna try and come through And now it is time to go out max decides he's gonna stay behind and he's got like a little short silk row. Yeah I love max Please somebody make max crime his robe

I love Max. Yeah, he's going to. Please somebody make Max crime his robe. Please, I just need it. Don't lie to me. I just need a sort of Max. You said you're aware pajamas. You said you're aware pajamas. You lied to me, Max.

You lied. I said, I do not have pants. So then the Vams, they go to the Vans. I go to the restaurant. Like literally, I don't need to say everything. So they go and look at this restaurant so civilized. Why would they put us in this my civil place? Yeah.

And Lily cheers everybody and thinks I'm forgiving her a chance. And she's like, I've had such great teachers. Now I'm not a bitch or Mr. Spaw. I used to just be sloppy, but like, now I can't, It's amazing, really. All right, you had one good try to relax. So then Lucas asking Jess what her plan is after

the season's over and she's like, well, have a week here where I'm just y'all going. And she'll be going to France and she's like, okay, might as well. She really struggles with, as the kids say, Riz, I would say. I feel like this is a Riz challenge lady. And I'm surprised that Lucas inviting her to go to France.

I think he would just go off and go with Kitty Flood somewhere. I think Luca means, he's like a typical fuck boy, especially on this channel, where he needs fighting and energy around him. He needs people fighting over him. And nobody's really doing it. He's not getting that at all. I mean, Jess is like, okay.

He needs her to be pissed and upset, and she's not really. I mean, he got a little bit of it. And the minute she decided she's okay, of course, he's gonna ask her to go to France and then immediately invite Natalia to come to the boat to try and make her cry. So, of course.

So, afterwards, they now go to a bar where they're doing shots. They're having a fun time and there's no drama and it's really fun. Like they've really come together as a crew. Meanwhile, back at, they go back to the boat. Lily is. No, not without Kyle twerking and Flapping his ass cheeks in ladies polyester pants from the babies. Okay. Okay. Oh, okay

Sorry, sorry, I just need to mention that Kyle was twerking I know that everybody's waiting for the but the butt cheek flap dance from Kyle well since Courtney couldn't be there It was Kyle had to pick up the side. We'll say, in Kyle's defense of that horrid comment that you just made, we give Kyle a lot of shit, but he can flap his ass cheeks. He can flap those things really are like, for bone, for bone. Courtney is just like a cat scratching up against a post.

She's not good. She's like a miniature squat rubbing up against a post. Kyle can actually flap those things. Yeah. Courtney is like watching, you know those cards you get into to the telephone poll people get into to go up. You know, they get in the bucket and the things send them up. She's like one of those going up and down really quickly. That's like as, that's the rigidity that she has. So, back on the boat, Lily is wasted and Jack, they're all wasted. Jack is like,

I'm going to go dream that I'm the Loch Ness Monster, whatever that means. And then Luca is making a tent for him and just have sex and then Lily's trying to get into Max's bed. It's like a typical high jinks that are happening on board. Yeah. And so let's see. So then Lily goes to Max's room shit face when they come home. Did you already say this part? Sort of said it. You know, this episode was kind of funny

because I thought it ended like five different times, but I kept on going. I literally am doing that and I see pages of notes and I'm just like, we're done. And Ben will say bye to everybody. Well, we're almost done. We're almost done. Kyle basically really is wasted and so she's gonna go hook up with Max but Max is not

wasted and that's not fun. You know, he's like, oh my god, she smells like cigarettes. Wine. Oh, I can't get out of bed. Get out of my bed. Yeah, remember, remember when we made a walk of bed, get out of my bed. Yeah, remember we may walk them all together. Billy and Lily. So anyway, then to me, I mean, Jess and Luke are having sex

and they're bed-tent and then of course Kyle and to me walk in and try to like bust it up and Luke was like, shut the door, man. Close the door. I was like, oh, I just wanted to see Hawaii. So anyway, it's the morning. It's the morning and Sandy texts Haley to see how she's feeling. And while she's texting Haley, Lara, Lara starts to tell Sandy moments later

that she's feeling really fluid, has body chills. Yeah. And, and she's like, and, dun dun dun. She's like, Whoa, if I'm just counting Max and Luca, I won't be able to leave the dock. I gotta follow the mandates and the little guy

who jumps on the boat every time we dock. What are you making it do? Don't, don't, don't. Yeah, so the question is whether or not Haley is clear to come back because Laura has to get off the boat because she has the flu and Sandy does not want the spreading around. So then Haley, it ends with Haley saying, texting, saying, it's been a rough couple of days. Can I call you? And Sandy goes, I hate this. So, will they do it? Can they do it? Don't be guys. What's going to happen?

I don't know. Got a, listen, she's got to meet the requirements of a safe Can they do it? Don't the guys what's gonna happen? I don't know. Got a... Listen, she's got to meet the requirements of a safe manning document, which as we all know, is a document that Peyton Manning wrote when he said that he liked yachts. And now I just follow whatever Peyton Manning says, because you know what, he was the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, and I love Colorado.

Uh... Well, that was below Dick, Mediterranean, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. This was a fun one. We've got a ton coming up. Also, don't forget to go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies on February 17th. Go to watchwhatcrapins.com to find links for that. And they go up tomorrow morning. Yeah, I'm already seeing a lot of people commenting on Instagram

that they're getting the pre-sale tickets. So definitely make sure you get your tickets early, get your tickets early and often. Get them. Get that. Early and often. All right, everybody, thank you so much. We love you and we will talk to you next time.

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