Watch What Crappens - #2293 Southern Hospitality + RHOP: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Oisin pulls back the curtain on his milky OnlyFans on this week’s Southern Hospitality (S02E05), and James Kennedy makes a cameo appearance to spin some records at a local coffee shop.  At the 01:10:00 mark, we pivot over to Real Housewives of Potomac to check in on this week’s latest episode.Watch with Crappens on Demand here:  http://bit.ly/crappensvideoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery's new podcast, Disantel, wades into the glorious mess of celebrity beef. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, and asks, what does our obsession with these feuds say about us? Follow Disantel, wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to Ad Free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Mr. Ronny Caram, hi Ronny how are you? Well, hello Ben, how are you? You know I'm doing very, very nicely, okay? It is Monday, it is Monday January 15th, Shadez birthday, MLK Day, and also we are starting a brand new week and Yeah, we got a whole bunch of we're really excited because today we're actually talking southern hospitality and Potomac together and Also tomorrow we are going to dive into the traders US

So if you are not caught up you better catch up because we don't want to spoil anything for you guys. And it's also like the best show of all time. So we'll be doing that tomorrow. Also, the crappies, the tickets are on sale. Go to watchocrabbons.com. Thank you to everyone who's already bought a ticket. We're going to have so much fun.

February 17th, we're giving out awards for the best and the worst of Bravo over the past year. What a year it's been on Bravo, you know, it started with a scandal, ended with reality vantes. I mean, is there any better year to give out awards and are there any better people to do it? It's gonna be us, our friends, special guests. We already have a whole bunch of special guests who've said, yes, they will join us. Really excited for that. I don't know what else there is to say. Go to watchacrapaz.com, get your tickets. February 17th, loss and jell-ass. Ronnie, what's going on with you? Oh, God, we're having some drama over here because there's a Texas in the winter, which means everything freezes and the electricity goes out and there's

no hot water and all that. Now, in touch, I would learn that this is a thing, and I should prepare in advance. Now, what I did do to prepare was I put a lot of water into a La Crusade. I love that. I love that. I love that. I don't know why I didn't think to fill up a bathtub or do all the things that they tell you to do but The electricity just came back on that's good. I did not get to shave and I really need to shave

So I have an itchy face and it's very cold I had to carry my dog out there and plop him down and force him to poop. He wouldn't do it I almost squeezed him like a tube of toothpaste to get it out of him I was like you're not complaining Everybody poops do it right now. He's like, no, it's freezing. I was like, pal. By the way, I enjoy you with a little bit of five o'clock shadow personally. Well, thank you.

This is not five o'clock. This is some eight o'clock. Eight o'clock. Freeway underpass will work for beer. Okay. It works. It works for me. I like it, Ron.

Well, let me tell you who doesn't work work much the cast of Southern Charm. Wow. There's a lot of standing around on the show. Why are there so many people on the floor? You know, as someone who worked in service for a long time, no service queen, when I was not managing, no one was stupid enough to let me manage, but I was like a waiter, you know, boss or whatever. And here's my question, why are there so many people on the floor? How are any of us supposed to make this much, any money with this many people on the floor,

so in half of these fucking losers home, all right? And get some clothes to fit. And that too, okay. Yeah, a lot of people, a lot of things going on on Southern hospitality right now, a lot of stuff. So I guess we'll start on Southern hospitality right now, a lot of stuff. So I guess we'll start with Southern hospitality, and then we'll do a check in with Potomac at the end

because honestly, Potomac not having a great season. And I don't know if anyone wants to hear us do like a full on, like recap with jokes while we talk about Karen's pave event, which was way more serious than deserves to be covered by this podcast. So we're gonna just do a big Southern hospitality moment, which everyone should be watching, by the way,

because it's all so really good. So it starts off, Oshin, he is our resident only fans, content creator of the show. As far as we know, I should say, but there may be others, but we don't know of them. So Oshin, we see him going to,

what it looks like, kind of like a health food store, or like an organic natural, whatever, Oshin, we see him going to what looks like kind of like a health food store or like an organic natural whatever to get milk because, huh, they're milk mod. So he's getting milk, but he's getting his half gallons premium health food store milk. Sir, why are you, like why are you not going to Kroger and getting your gallons of cheap bad for you milk? Rather than a guy. Girl, get the Costco. Like, what kind of Costco? You're making on only fans that you're stopping it,

like fucking Harris, I don't even know. Harris Teeter is a big store, but you know what I mean. Like, you do a small, yeah, do something smart. Also, I'm confused by the whole jerking off to milk thing. I don't get how that taught. Milk is disgusting, okay. I love milk to eat. I love dairy, but milk, like today the electricity went out. I'm just gonna say that a million times because I'm not over it.

But the first thing I thought was I have actual milk in there. What is gonna happen to the milk? And then I open the fridge and just look at the milk like, ew, I don't trust you. You're gonna be nasty in like five seconds. I do not want to jerk off to milk. And also, it's 2023, but how are you not forced to do coconut milk and almond milk and oat milk? Like who wants to jerk off to your actual cow pus? Yeah, actual cow pus. Also, he acts like he invented this phenomenon

of being like an Inst instant thought pouring milk on himself. That is, you do not invent that. There are many people who do that. And I agree with you. Have you ever just drank milk and then an hour later or half an hour later, your breath smells just kind of weird. It's just like milk breath.

That's what you're basically doing to your body. You're making your body smell like milk. It's not a sense. Well, you know what, look people, drink your milk. You're making your body smell like milk. It's not a good sense. Well, look, look people drink your milk. I'm sorry to milkshake everybody, but listen, also to your point that people have been using milk to get people horny for a long time.

Of course, well, they've been jerking off, you know, for money for a long time too. You gotta get a gimmick. It's like the musical gypsy. You gotta get a gimmick. They have all the strippers and they're talking about their gimmicks that they have, you know, to sell.

And that's what you gotta do, I guess. I just, my gimmick would be like, I'm gonna eat gluten-free things while I touch my wiener. You know, because I feel like we're just in the world now where people need that kind of stuff. They need their allergies addressed. Or I could be like, I'm super triggered. You know what, you hurt my feelings. And then people could jerk off while I talk about how they've triggered me.

You know, something like modern, just not milk. Milk, well, you know, actually I will say this, in favor of milk. Milk has a relatively easy cleanup because like versus oil, like if you put oil all over your body, it's like, it's shiny and sexy. But then the cleanup on that, that's gonna be annoying. It gets all over the towels and it's annoying way.

It's just everywhere. It doesn't wipe off nice leaves. Yeah, it gets sort of good for your skin. So milk is like, I think a little better for the cleanup. So I appreciate that. But I just, no, you think oil would be better. Milk is just, no, I don't think, I don't know that there needs to be a better, both are horrible,

but I will say this, he's a terrible roommate. And you know, you see him filming this stuff in the community bathroom at the house he's renting, a room out of while he's usually here. And it's disgusting. I don't want to have your milk in the drain. That's gross. I also go look at their septic, so I'm like, that's going to be cheese in about five minutes. Yeah. Also, it's so wasteful filling up a tub with milk. What he really should do is fill up a tub mostly with water

and then add enough milk, so that way it looks like milk. That's what I think what you really do. Well, the entire milk. We've talked about milk for 10 minutes and our entire audience is basically Subscribe to his own friends Everyone they probably all had to take a moment at work to go jerk off of the bathroom because who is not Totally turned on right now after all this milk talk Oush oishin I have a friend who actually has an only fans and he does the milk thing He and he's quite effective. I mean I haven actually has an only fans and he does the milk thing. And he's quite effective. I mean, I haven't seen his only fans, but he'd like,

well, be on Instagram pouring milk on himself. And I'm like, you know, he pulls it off. He definitely pulls off the milk thing. But I literally... Literally pulls it off. But I don't know. I mean, I'm... I'm calling him Oishin again.

Oishin! Hey, Oishin! You know, he does a very good job that Oishin. No, Oishin again. Oishin, hey Oishin, you know, he does a very good job that Oishin. No, Oishin, yeah. I'll give it to Oishin about this. He definitely does have, in my mind, BDE. Like I think that he definitely,

like he definitely has that vibe. I think people want to just like follow him around and be with him and everything. So like I do credit him with that. I think he's got Luigi energy from Super Mario Brothers. And I'm not impressed. It's like Luigi is working out in 2023, but at the end of the day, he's still Luigi.

He's still following Mario around. Well, this begs a larger question. So you're implying that Luigi doesn't have BDE. Does Mario have BDE? I don't feel like Mario has BDE at all. I think Bowser has the BDE. Mario has allD, I don't think Mario has BD at all. I think Bowser has the BD. Mario has all you out energy. It's a me, I'm Mario, a little off.

You have to make it effort. I mean, when your ass is lost, Mario is gonna find you. You know what I mean? I don't even think it needs to be like big dick energy. You just know if you forget your keys, Mario is gonna go back and get those keys. Mario is going, if Instacart didn't bring the milk,

let's say Mario is gonna go to the store himself and get you that milk to make sure you are satisfied. Mario I think is just a good boyfriend. Maybe a little needy, maybe bad things happen to happen around Mario a lot, but mad luck, he's bad luck, but he's a good boyfriend, I think. He's, Mario definitely gives JT vibes off of Southern Charm. Let's be honest.

Now, you know, Bowser doesn't have big DE either because he's got like a lot of toxic masculinity. Does anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom actually have BDE? Like, does anyone, like, Mario not really Waluigi? No. You know, all those little worker mushrooms. Like when you play Mario, Mario build it or whatever, Mario Maker. Those little mushrooms here are like,

Hi Mario, I'm building a palace. Could you find me a ton of bricks? And then you have to like go solve some puzzles to get them bricks. Was that Leo Black? You know, sort of, you know, what about those little like those beetle things that just have the hard shells? They're just walking back. Oh, you know, you know, you know, who might have BDE? Is bullet bill, does bullet bill have BDE? Bullet bill has big bullet energy.

I mean, who needs it? Who needs a D when you've got a bullet? Bullet Bill just goes after what he wants. Exactly, he's a bullet. He's literally a sex toy. He just comes at you. He doesn't need to compete with a penis. He wins. Bullets win.

Okay, Bullet Bill, the BD of Super Mario Brothers. Okay, so Ashine is buying milk and the clerk at this place at this like natural food store is very confused. I mean this guy just like woke up from a five day grateful dead bender and he's like, well you do with all that milk and he's like, oh I'm the milkman, don't you know I'm the milkman, take it over on the funds. So now it's Saturday and people are showing up to work in the day time because you know, it's like Saturday party day. And so Joe and Maddie are meeting up and he's like,

oh, how you doing? How you doing Maddie? She's like, oh, turn. I'm dead. So then we get my favorite character and I know yours, Ben. Leah CEO. Leah CEO comes in and she's like, hey, does everybody have an agenda today? Does everybody have an agenda? All righty, this week, ownership, that would be love to me, ownership to you. No one look her in the face, no one stare her in the eye and definitely no one say her name. I don't wanna have to grasp your ass, which I will do.

I'm basically like a gardener with a bag of seed, getting ready to turn your asses andeglasses. So anybody wanna fuck with me today? Anybody? One of you? Anybody? I'm Leah, CEO. Yeah, ownership wants to make sure we're stopped.

DJ wise and employer wise on Sunday. So are we in a good spot there? Kapiche, exacto, know what I'm saying, okay? And Chris, Chris the GM is like, well, we will be, oh, what does that mean? Oh, I well, there, okay? What does that mean? We aren't not, but we have well, there Chris.

Hey, Chris, can I get a CEO from you? Can everybody own it? That's what I want from you, Chris, right now. Okay, pretend that you have that title for one fucking second. You goddamn hipster moron, okay? Can we stop twirling our hipster mustache? And we're not.

My goddamn question, question, right? This is a corporation. This is a business, A, B, S, always the stopping. Okay, this is from ownership. This comes from ownership. It comes directly through me. I am the vessel for ownership and it's going to your ears. And if you do not hear it,

then you're going to be walking out that door because guess what? Ownership requires it. And Chris is like, well, I mean, I got to move a couple things, right? Yeah, you're going to move a couple things, right? Or I'm going to move a couple of your ass cheeks into the ground. Do you understand?

Yeah. Okay. So then Joe is like, uh, do you think it would be better if I hosted for take love or for an art club and Chris is like, well, in a perfect world both. Zach, sound good, Leah, is that sound good? Yeah, that's right. You're working around the clock because you'll guess what? Your ass is mind-jewing marbles. It is mine. Ownership wants it.

It doesn't even matter what time we're in. I'm the mayor of this town and guess what this town is. It's a town without fucking pity. Got it, Joey? Okay, you're here. You're here until I tell you to go home. Okay, anybody else? Anybody else want to fuck with me right now? And Maddie's like,

hey, listen, I have a huge opportunity because James from Vanderpump rules is going to be DJing in a coffee shop or something. So please, it's gonna be DJing in a coffee shop or something. So please, there's a payless you opening that James is gonna be at. So it's huge, it could be huge for me. All right, what time is this gig?

Okay, cause I gotta tell ownership. And well, it's at 9 p.m., but it should be done by 11.45. Really, you play that long, but that's a pretty long time for you. I think I think ownership's not going to like this very much, Matty. Oh, yeah. And of course, Matty's not playing till that long, but she wants to be there because she wants to see DJ James Kennedy.

And also stand around in the VIP area and dance because she's like, yeah, I open for James Canada. Yeah. So she's like, it's my dream to become a big time DJ. Like I've played big festivals, but I've been like small on the list, you know, like way, way down the list, but like I want to be like higher up on the list, you know, I want to be up as high on the list as like random girls who higher petty caps are on Trevor's like call list. That's how I want to be, like right at the top,

almost at the top. I'm just trying to land the gig at Dave and Buster's. That's all a girl wants, you know? So to open for James Kennedy, a killer DJ from LA who plays in the corner of a sort of strange lounge with purple highlights in it. I mean, he has a huge following. And I'm like one step closer to getting there, man.

And so now we go to work and TJ's pouring drinks and just looking around, looking around prismicadilly. Now I was worried that TJ was going to enter a season where he was worried about whatever one thinks after season one, because this season, he's less prismicaddy looking. He's just more like, hi, I'm TJ. Look one thinks after season one because this season he's less personality looking. He's just more like, hi, I'm TJ. Look how nice I am.

I need to just, shit, disturb her, church lady face, TJ to come back on and he's back today. So I would like to say with open arms and an emptied vacuum cleaner bag, just because I know you're gonna fill it up soon. Welcome back, TJ. Welcome back, sweet guy.

Welcome home. So TJ is pouring drinks. There are a bunch of moms dancing around and then Joe Bradley is at the front and he's talking to Sally. Sally's like his new love interest and and he's like, hey, so you still down for dinner later and she's like, yeah, hey, go go inside and mingle it It's her job. Go do it. Oh, cool. I'll see you at the dinner later. So then we see Emmy is trying to like not show everybody

the sparkling energy that they've got to just chemistry. They're like getting their faces close together. And she's like, you need to work now before we get in trouble. Big boy, he's like, yeah, I will. I'm totally gonna work now. No one knows. No one's onto us. For Bidden Office Romance.

And then we see Emmy, Emmy's being like, you know, super worker again, she's like, hey, I'm gonna check on table, I'm gonna check on table 30 again, really quick. I'm gonna check on it, I'm gonna check on it, I'm gonna get them water, I'm gonna get them, mixers, I'm gonna get them whatever they need, napkins, they need napkins, I'm gonna get them napkins,

they need no light, they're can, they're can, they're can, no problem. I'm gonna take care of it. And Maddie's just looking at her phone like, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell you why, because And Maddie's just looking at her phone like, yeah. Yeah. Maddie's certainly not fucking doing it. Okay, that.

I'll tell you someone who's not checking on table 30. Maddie, she shouldn't even be working here anymore. Like, who gave her power? Am I right? Am I right? I'm opening for fucking James Kennedy, yeah. So, I'm gonna make that too gracefully in the kitchen, putting juice from a gun into a craft.

Jesus, just, if she liked this in real life, I mean, I feel like Grace Lilly probably walks around like there's cameras in her house at all time, but she's like, Oh yeah, jeez, jeez, jeez, I love the color of this jeez. That's some good jeez to my right, I love you, jeez. Hey, jeez, you're lucky to be putting this crap. LA, I'm gonna be star. I'm a star. He's a bigger star than me. Maybe you cranberry, geez. It's pretty popular in my right. Y'all heard of cranberry for friends.

And then we cut to Bradley, he's just holding up a bottle of champagne to his ear, like he's talking on the phone to it. I don't know what is this show and couldn't be on 24 hours a day. I know. And then we see everyone's working and then they show Maddie just eating in the kitchen. I love the lazy worker edit that Bravo does. It's always so funny. So now they're giving her the Hannah banana edit from the live deck Mediterranean where every time they'd be like, guys, guys, anchor, anchor, and everybody's working. They would cut to Hannah just smoking. And they would use the same clip of Hannah smoking all year. They would just do a five times as an episode.

It's so good. And so now Maddie is like, well, everyone's working. Maddie is gathering empty glasses around and then Leva walked in the kitchen. And he's there. And I mean, it's like, hey, Leva, could we have a meeting later about taking on more responsibility? I just want to find ways to grow in this organization. And Leva is like, have a meeting later about taking on more responsibility? I just wanna find ways to grow in this organization. And Leva's like, yeah, you've been killing it.

And you know what, we can start testing in different places. Would you just cracks me up again? Everyone acts like they are literally working at Morgan Stanley or something, or like target corporate. I just wanna climb up this corporate ladder here at Republic. I'm like, can we have a meeting about it? like, I just want to climb up this corporate ladder here at Republic.

I'm like, I'm like, can we have a meeting about it? Like, I want more tables. And then, uh, Leva Barely is even here. I mean, one thing I have to say about Leva, a lot of people on Bravo just look like total effort. You're like, oh my God, they're so thirsty. Like, uh, just in this world, I would say, like, someone like a JT, you know, they're just working

so hard. You're like, oh, God, this is love. It's not that kind of a bravo liberty. I don't even know what she's doing here. She doesn't want to be here. Like she has her own show about her restaurant and she still doesn't want to be here. She walks in with her keys like she's writing errands and she's like, hey, just wanted to come check on you guys.

I hope our kitchen's open because I could like definitely know your kitchen's not open. What do you even have a kitchen? What comes out of this kitchen? You're standing in the kitchen You see that it's not open. Have we ever seen anyone cooking in this kitchen? By the way I feel like the kitchen just an area where they just make new messages for that sign like this kitchen is not operational They squeeze lines in it and they're right, but they're right phrases. 100%. Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending, but the worst part is, if they step out of line or fall in love with the wrong person,

it changes the course of history. I'm Aresha Skidmore Williams, and I'm Brooke Sifrin. We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit Wonderree Show even the rich, and talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and Daily. We're going all over the world, on our new show, Even the Royals. We'll be diving headfirst into the lives of the world's kings, queens, and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout history. Think succession meets the crown meets real life.

We're going to pull back the gilded curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else. Like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow EvenaRoyals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to EvenaRoyals early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Maddie drops her glasses everywhere and makes a mess. So it's like, look at her, she's a terrible worker. So now it's night time and me is going on a date with a guy named Troy, this hot guy named Troy. And they sit down and she's like and me is going on a date with a guy named Troy this hot guy named Troy and

They sit down and she's like, thanks for coming on a date with me And he's like yeah, the drive wasn't bad at all. I do it all the time That will continue to do so so we find out they met on a dating app and he was on his way to choose driving a Charlotte And she asked him out for coffee and he goes well drive a Charlotte But I will turn around this car for coffee with you. Mario energy. Do you see what I'm saying? That is Mario energy.

I'm already three hours away. I will turn back and come back three hours for you, Princess Peach, and get whatever Instacart left off of your list. That is Mario energy. But he's way harder than Mario. He's like a hot hot hot hot hot hot. This guy is so hot.

I was like, Oh my goodness. Why have we waited five episodes to see him? Yeah, he is really hot. Nothing really happens in the scene. It's just like a nice date thing where we find out that Mia loves to play office trivia. Yeah. Like literal, she's the way of a lot of trivia. Yeah. Yeah.

She's watching, did you say she's watched her consecutively 18 times over? That's a lot. I think she said eight, eight times, but maybe she did say 18. I don't know. I mean, she's watched a lot. She's just so young. You know what I mean? Like 18?

I think 18. 18. That's a lot of the office. That's a? I think 18. That's a lot of the office. That's a lot of the office. That's a lot of the office. That's like, so she's in the way. She's been for 10 years. For a lot. And she's like, yeah, so when asked me what my talent is,

I would be like closing my eyes and then just like turning on the office. And like, even if I turned it off, it was still playing my head. So that's it. And that choice talent is catching things. Yeah. Which is like good to me. If you stood 10 feet away from me and do anything at me, I would catch it. That is just the opposite of me. I was just telling my family the other night.

Please stop throwing things at me. They do this thing. At this point, I just think they're doing it on purpose. Where they'll be like, oh, hey, hey, Ronnie, we're playing poker. This is what we were doing. We were playing poker. And someone's like, oh, here's my chip. And they just tossed it at me. I was like, who do you think I am?

You know, I don't catch things. Like my initial response is just like, you start doing like modern dance with my hands with my eyes and just start flailing around and screaming. Like, I can't catch things, stop. So I mean, people like Troy and I'm like, this guy would kick my ass, but God damn it, he's hot. I would take it, I would take it.

I also'm very bad at catching things. I do like a kind of a weird like this. I like, for some reason I like, I put my wrists together and put my palms out, it's like a weird response. I don't actually think of cupping my hands to actually create a place for something to land in that I can class, but I just sort of go like, ha, and just like...

I'm just not adding it like this. Yeah, and usually the batting happens afterwards. Also, by the way, I don't like when people throw poker chips. I learned recently that that's... That's how manor is a spat etiquette. I learned recently that that's how man or is a spat etiquette. I learned recently that that's called splashing the pot. And I was like, oh, I do not like when people splash the pot because people splash the pot all the time

in board gaming in general. Like you have to pay like a resource or something. They just like throw it on to the stack of resources. I hate it. It's like, ugh, you can't even bother to put it down like a civilized human being, hate it. It's like, ugh, you can't even bother to put it down like a civilized human being. Stop it. Splashing the pot.

Yeah. So they have a nice date and he's like, well, listen, I just like, I'm not the kind of guy who like knows what's going to happen in the future, but my intention is to 100% date you. Okay, you're kind of creepy. You're hot. You're maybe giving a little too much for this. You

just started and you're hot enough to give this much, but you're coming off as thirsty because we're on a TV show and suddenly you want to be boyfriend, but I'll accept it from you. I'm accepting it. I'm shallow. I'm accepting it because he's hot and he's named Troy. So that's like a really hot duo there. And I'm gonna accept it until I don't accept it. That's what I'm gonna say. So then we have- I can't wait to see what a terrible person you turn into. Welcome to the show, Troy.

It will definitely come out. So we have Trixi. Trixi Monaco has a song that says, the lady's a back and we're not taking checks. The drop is cash only, yeah. Yeah, you know we want respect. Yeah, we demand it. So, yeah.

Southern Charles did, we're really a place where the cast members are demanding respect. And what does that have to do with not taking checks? It's like cash only. Like you want respect, but you also don't take like Apple Pay? No. Well, yeah, I mean, I think Trixie wrote this. I don't think Trixie knows what Apple Pay is yet.

Okay, yeah. I think that she's still stuck on checks for cash. You know? This was a kick up from the other day. Oh, no. Taking checks. I've gotten tricked right that before. No checks, no checks.

Never, never checks, checks. Even at a party, I won't have a mix that's made of chicks. Chicks, chicks. I go with power. This was originally for a Western Union. Just like, I really, I pitched this to Western Union. No chicks, just cash. But they want to go a different direction.

So it's really made me happy that I was able to use it in a different format, finally give it a head. Cash my foc and check. Cash my fo fork and check. How many IDs of forms do one need to have? Just cash, just cash, I don't got more than one form, just cash, it's a problem. We've got an ATM in the corner.

Yes, there's a $3 charge, but you know what I charge? Your ass, cash, cash only. I used to have to go to check catching places back in the bay and they would ask for like nine forms of I.B. I'm like if I could do that I could get a make account. Just cash my fucking check for Christ sake. I'm behind a bulletproof glass. Just cash to check. Yeah I went to one of those ones. It was interesting. Anyway. So. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It was like in Burbank or something, of course. Like that's like the most, like, if you're gonna go to like Western Union, you're gonna go to, you're gonna go to Burbank to do it. So we'll and Emmy are at home now, and they're making food together. They're making a very rare steak.

So Will is like, you know what's wild? The average person is probably opened about like 200 miles of wine in their life, and I've probably opened 2,000 miles of wine about life. That is wild. I have to say, Ronnie, I was thinking when that guy Troy said that his talent was just catching anything 10 feet away, I was like, that's pretty said that his talent is just catching anything 10 feet away, I was like, that's pretty wild, but then here comes Will overwilding,

upping the wildness with this stat. Lumia with it. It's also embarrassing because as Emmy points out here, trying not to make him look stupid, but you can see in her face that she thinks he's an idiot. She's like, um, you're bartender. So it's also kind of pathetic because if you do the math, like if you work 300 days a week, you open three bottles of wine and night, you're almost at a thousand. Like,

how long have you been doing this? And only three bottles a night. Like, come on, bro. Make, make more, you more, it's probably more than that. Anyway, I don't know why I'm doing that. But also is it like wild? Is it really wild that like, yes, someone who works in the profession of opening bottles has opened up, you know, 10 times as many bottles as someone who's not in that profession. Even, honestly, even if you weren't a bartender, if you were to tell someone, you know, the

average person's opened up 200 bottles and they'll open up 200 bottles in their lifetime, but I will have opened up 2000 bottles in my lifetime. Well, people, is that gonna be beneficial to that stat in your life? Is that, if anything? I don't know that that earns you much respect really in any circle.

I don't even think like if AA people are gonna be like, add a girl, you know? I mean, even there, they'd be, Oh hugs, you know, it doesn't really, does it really carry the same weight if a portion of those are twist offs. So she's made dinner and they're talking about he's like stolen or it because me I thought she had such a gotcha moment with me because she had some girl texture about me making out of some party with another girl. I was like she did have a gotcha moment. You were totally gotcha'd. You were at a party wasted with some other girl in a bathroom for 30 minutes. You got gotcha'd okay. She even had proof and she even said it to

your face on camera. Fortunately for you, Emmy does not care. So she's letting you off on this. Well, 100% is guilty of this. 100%. And you can see, Emmy is like, of course, like, of course, I believe you. Of course, I believe you, but like as she's like preparing vegetables to be roasted, she's like squeezing them to death.

She's like, squeezing these wedges of squash. So, well, it's like,, I'm just very grateful for our relationship because you trust me, you know? And I could never lie to you. And if I had kissed a girl when I was drunk, I'd be ashamed, but I wouldn't be afraid of it. She was, yeah, and I know you wouldn't lie to me, which is supposed to sound reassuring,

but almost sounds like a threat. Yeah. She knows it, he knows it. She knows that he was like, she knows. I think she doesn't care. I don't understand this, but I do believe that she believes it. It's super weird. So then Will is saying, you know,

this would have been way harder if Emmy hadn't been supportive. You know, like if I was accused of something that I did, but then Emmy was mad, it would have been sucky, but like she didn't. So it's like better. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, yeah, we know what you mean. Yeah, and Emmy is like, you know,

who the fuck are you, me, how to give me advice on relationships? She's dating two men, always at once, and she never wants to admit it. Ha! So, well, it's like, yeah, misery loves company. If you date someone every five days, why do you want your friend to be in a tier of relationship?

Let's be real. Ha ha. Yeah, they're not making very good points here. And also, I just wanted to put in an argument to the statement, misery loves company. I love misery, and I do not necessarily love company. I love being miserable in alone. Can you just let some of us live?

Yeah. So now we go to Oshina at the island house. So he's got these two roommates, Caitlin and Eva, or Eva, I don't know. And he commissioned them to film his only fans' teaser content, which involves him in a speedo in front of cardboard boxes that he's like cut out and he's writing stuff.

It's supposed to look like a lemonade stand, but it's a milk stand instead. This is the artistic vision. That's creepy. First of all, can we not take innocent, can we not take the lemonade stand from everybody's neighborhood and make it some guy jerking off at us? That's true. Also, I don't know about milk stands. I don't know about that as a concept. Like, hey, we're a traveler, have a glass of milk on this hot summer day.

It's just been sitting out here for a few hours. summer day. It's just been sitting out here for a few hours. Yeah. Um, so these girls are hilarious because they are dying that they are getting to do this for him, you know, because he's like so hot and he's just so open about it too. He's like, well, here's what I'm doing. I'm jerking off on camera with milk. Okay. So go ahead and take my picture, girls. And so they are. And he's like, all right, here's the artistic direction. You're going down a road and there's a cute little milk bar. All right, just sell a milk. It's a hot day.

Milk. Milk. Got milk. And then he tells like the really skinny blonde girl. He's like, okay, just write down on the box flap. Just write down the milk man and then hashtag milking bio, which is important because later on she writes link in bio and he's like, oh you're supposed to write milking bio,

it's fine, link in bio works too. She's like, I'm sorry, you said link in bio. I just like that he was like really upset about his hashtag getting ruined. So then he's talking about how milkman's really popular on only fans and you know's really popular on only fans. And you know, for a while, only fans was just some extra money, but then his dream of becoming a rugby person came to an end with COVID.

That sucks, but a lot of people are still playing rugby. I think it back out there, you know? Listen, there's nothing I love more than a hot jerking off rugby player. I believe in you. I don't like to. Also, milkman, my brother. I think of dick cheese. Sorry.

Okay. He actually should lean into rugby more. Like, I'm like the hot jerking off rugby player. I think that's the hotter than the milkman. Because he's really trying to make this thing happen. I'm the brother who jerks off on only fans, right? Yeah, that would be hot. Not like, I'm the milkman.

So then he's, then we have his tortured backstory. How's the kid I was trying so hard to be a professional rugby player, but my problem was that I couldn't get big enough. The only way I could get most calories into me was the drink milk. So I did a gallon of milk a day for 28 days, and I'm being honest, I'm lactose intolerant because of it. I was like, okay. So I'm trying to look at the milk man.

The milk man on only fans that I'm finding is the real milk man. And the last thing he posted was August 30th, 2022. So this has to be a different one. Also, he doesn't even give you a taste. Like I don't see anything. The milk man only fans. Let's see. I'm called the milkman. It goes down in the DMs. Is that the one that you're looking

at the real milkman? That's when I'm looking at, yeah. Does Bravo actually link to it? Because on Bravo, it says ocean, ocean introduces its only fans. Alter ego, the milk man. So there's another milk man and his is called, his actual handle is deluscious back. So I see it on Instagram, but do you see that on only fans? I do. If you do a Google search for the milk man, he shows up and it's at deluscious underscore back.

Oh, okay, okay, better. Oh my goodness. Some people like 2% while others want the full fat. Who wants that's milk? Oh, and he sells merch. Oh my gosh, milkmanmerch.com is like an it. His butt is very nice. Now, he doesn't give a ton of teasers either,

but he does give a teas a teasy, because that's the worth of it. I think he's hot. I thing. I think he's hot. I mean, I think he's hot, because I think he actually is hot because he just has, he does have some swagger, which I think is hot. But I don't know if the milk thing makes,

I don't think that contributes to him being hot. I think it's just him being, it's just weird. It's not my fault. Well, you could buy milkman shirts. You could buy milkman leggings, you could buy literally everything. You know what? You know what?

Cool. And again, what does it say? Irish toastie. Oh, it's about Irish toast, it says. And before seeing a gambitool, gold and the Italy of the... If you were smart, he would send us some free merch. Yeah, that's me trying to squeeze some free merch out of the milkman. By the way, you know the one thing the milkman doesn't sell.

Milkman intended. You know the one thing the milkman doesn't sell. Milkman. Milk. It's literally in your name. To be very professionally. Very professionally. But he could sell like little milk cartons that you drink, you know,

like little water bottle milk cartons or something or like little milk cartons that you drink, you know, like little water bottle milk cartons or something or like glass milk crafts, you know, he could sell those that you could take to the office and stuff, but you could be put a lid on it. Also, by the way, so he, I guess he has 1.5 thousand, he has 1,500 likes, which me, I don't know only fans, stats. That feels a little low, right? It takes time, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I'm not really an only fans person. I'm afraid of like running into the neighbor on there

because I feel like every time I turn on Grindr or anything like that, it's like, it's one foot away from you, you know? And I'm like, oh God, it's a fucking neighbor, you know? And I just feel like I'm not in a world where I need to see my neighbors jerking off. It's just not how I am. I wanna see unattainable people jerking off.

And also I live by a lake, and there's a lot of like lake people around here. I wanna see like the local lake people jerking off, okay? I wanna see a stranger with the gym membership. That's why I wanna see. I wanna see my neighbor covering himself in milk. I, the thing is that in LA, it's like, I feel like everyone does only fans here in LA. It's wild.

So I feel like, yeah, going onto only fans is literally just to see what your neighbors are up to. I've never, I've never actually paid for an only fans. Hi, I'll pay you $20 in your DMs. If you'll turn down your fucking music the little rascal Well also by the way like only fans content and never be trickles out onto Twitter So you just have to wait and then it'll be no pun intended Really milking the segment Here comes one right now.

So the producer asked him how we discovered that milk was sexy and yes, I don't understand this answer He's like well honestly, I had a threesome in Mexico and it was like we're only gonna do this if we involve Three five liters of milk and it was magic It's like when people sweat, but this is milk so you can see it. I'm like, okay, that's, I guess, an interesting story about milk and to loom. But then why were you, but why, why were you being covered in liquid? It was like sweating, but it's milk. But why did you want the five liters of milk in the first place? I guess it was a request. Um, I don't know. I can't really tell. I don't know. This was definitely sponsored by the dairy farmer association of America or something. Well, milk has had a

rough go of it. I feel like in recent times, everyone's villainizing milk. Maluk, everybody wants milk again. So one of the girls asks his price, and he's like, well, if I'm doing a video where my ass from a fucking pipe or my milk pops coming out, that's not 10.69. Imagine you're looking at an only fans page, you want to make it hot, all right? It's not 10.69 right here.

You know, I really have a lot of passion for my only fans. Only fans, people think it's a game, but it's art. Milk's cheap, I'm expensive. Okay, settle down, Bjork. Okay, this is not performance art. This is you pouring milk on your body. So have you had milk lately?

I mean, I know you just bought milk, but milk is not cheap. Okay, milk is 1969, a gallon. So yeah, this is an expensive prop, an expensive, like, non-sustainable prop. Maybe you like the, maybe you like the, you're now like the Afghan man and you like cascade an Afghan over your shoulders. Or something, and let it trickle down onto the floor.

I mean, you pick it up and you do it again. Yeah. I'm still sticking to my gluten-free, man. I think that's so hot. Gluten-free, man. Yeah. Gluten-free, pita chips. Tonight at 6 p.m., whoever comes on my only fans will see me crying about being triggered

while I eat gluten-free, pita chips. Listen, all he has to do is put on a frickin' rug, be sure, with those big stripes, and just have no pants on and just lie there. And it's like, okay, that is just so much more effective than milk. Yeah. Okay, so let's move past only that.

Every time, and only fans' thing comes up, we will talk about it after work, because it's super perks. So let's go to Joe Bradley, I'm putting some dairy product into a salad. He's making a Caprazi all right, and you know why? Because Sally's here. Knock knock.

Hey, it's me, Sally. Hatch out. It's me. Oh. You know, I'm not a chef, but I think it's like fun to do this together. So I was wondering, could you help me? So she's like, ah, sure.

And so he's making a chicken parmesan. And she's like, ah, sure. And so he's making chicken parmesan. And he's like, yeah, I've been cooking. She's like this morning. And then we see he's only been cooking for 10 minutes when he put the ragu in the pot. Mm-hmm. He's like, oh, one thing that's really embarrassing about me is I don't have one glasses.

The last time I went over for dinner, it was like, oh my god, never. This is the first time. I love all these personality traits we're finding out out about people. One thing that's crazy about me is if you throw something at me and I'm 10 feet away, I can catch it. One thing that's crazy about me, I don't have point glasses.

Yeah, I think the producer was like, we really need to know more about this glass. I'm like, okay, Joe, tell us something about me. I don't have point glasses. Yeah, I think the producer was like we really need to know more about this Glasses, okay, so tell us something about you. Oh, I don't have one glasses Something that's kind of embarrassing about me. I don't know one waffles So he's like you know in the last time my how to grow over for dinner was just like when never this is the first time all over for dinner was. She's like, when? Never. This is the first time. So then they're making the food and he's like, you know what? Like no matter how many times people come up to me, I'm like, Joe, you must love being single. The grass is always greener, you know? But I'm going to be 28 soon. So like, I want romance. I'm a romantic guy, you know, like I want to find love in this hopeless place of trust him Yeah, I'm like a romantic guy and I hold on while I smash this chicken with a frying pan on my day

So Joe so then they're basically Eating their chicken parm and he's like, you know, there's something special about Sally. You know, she's beautiful, she's charismatic. I think she probably has personality if she would ever talk. I just, I don't have to worry about her judging me or like her not understanding my career. She just like gets it and to find like a girl

that I want to take them to my mom who also works at Republic, It's kind of like perfect. Nothing my mom also works at Republic, but she totally caught. She's a bad-ass and she's hot. That's neither here nor there. Something you might know, not know about me, my mom's hot. Something that's kind of embarrassing is my mom doesn't have one glasses either. I guess that's her radatory.

So I'm going to the point where I don't get fulfillment from like a one night stand or dating a million girls away. Like, what even defines being exclusive? Like how many dates does it take before you decide you're exclusive? You know what I mean? Have you ever thought about Mara Sally? Do you think we should maybe just get married?

What do you think Sally? She's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know like how many dates it really takes, but like I think you just have to feel it, Joe. Am I right, Joe? And he's like, but I think you just have to feel it, Joe, am I right, Joe? And he's like, yeah, I guess we have to feel it. So Sally invites him to her best friends wedding. He's like, love weddings, want to be in warm,

one-darts, is up to us. Can I bring a frying pan? In case anyone needs some chicken smashed, just wanna know. So then, oh. So we got a Grace Lilly and she's at Liam's house. Liam, who is already spinning out of control as a stalker, crazy person, which we sensed in episode one, when Liam was introduced, we figured this was the case.

Wow, Liam, really spinning out of control. Yeah, and we go to his disgusting hobble of a home. So your on television, could you at least try to put something in order? It was disgusting in there. And it definitely was the sort of place that someone who was fixating on a woman would live in. Like this is, this is what I imagine Stocker's homes look like. All that was missing was some sort of like yarn map on the wall to like geolocate grace

lily. And so this is definitely like a 4chan set Really is so she comes over. I was like, hi, so I feel like we should talk real quick You know, I'm sorry I couldn't come over yesterday I just feel like we needed a breather and I feel like your stress that would work Even though they don't really work, but we just like to pretend that you work, even though you're just on four channels a day. And I'm stressed out with work too,

because like the other day, I filled up a jug of juice, but I didn't like the color of that juice. It was real stressful for me too, so we're probably dealing with a lot of things. So you know what, seeing this side of Liam, I get to real hard, because Liam's like so jealous, like he thinks like I hit some past or something

and he's like Liam how can we so upset about my past why Liam you went through my phone and then you got mad at people I was digs and come on Liam. Yeah. Now what do you think graceily also first of all nothing graceily does would accept make this guy worth it. I think she should kick this guy to the side. He gives really, really bad vibes. And I like my Grace Silly.

She's crazy. Get her away from him. That said, what do you think it's like dating Grace Silly? Do you think she's texting on there? Like what do you think he came across on her texts? I don't know what it's like to do. I feel like Grace Dating dating Grace Lilly means being late to a lot of events waiting for her a lot.

I think you are holding her purse. I think that like if you're dating Grace Lilly, she is the one in control and you are Mario basically. And I think that this guy, you have to be Mario and this guy's giving Walaweeji, you know, it's not a fit. That is not who Princess Beach goes for. Well, we know that they've already had an argument because he's like, okay, okay, well,

you've never cheated on me, but you have cheated with other guys on messenger and stuff like that, that can't, and she's like, ah, ah, not in the wall, not in the wall, come on, I haven't been able to do that with his block now. I can't believe she was flirting on Facebook Messenger. It's like being like, she was like, play Facebook Messenger cheating.

That's funny. Yeah, it's like, I caught you cheating. You were flirting with someone in a Yahoo group. So Liam's like, well, you know, I have a past two. And I, you know, I was huking up with someone else when we met, but I told you the truth about that. Because yeah, but that guy I literally hung out with him in me can outs, but I didn't fuck him. And you just don't even believe me. So wait a minute. He caught you texting someone that you're with in me can else. Come on now. And he's like, but what?

These things are just cheering on top, okay? Like, well, I just want a girlfriend, and she's like, but I'm here for you. I'm here for you, okay? Now, if you want me quicker, just get on messenger. I'm on there a lot. It's actually real dependable. It's basically like TX.

And now we get to the crux of all this. He's like, no, but I've asked you countless times to go to the gym with me. I've got a membership that I can bring you anytime I want. And like, you haven't come with me once. Bill big spender there Liam. He's like, I got a guest pass and you won't use it. I told everyone in plan that fitness

my pretty girlfriend's gonna come by and know it, then they've seen Nari scenario one side of you. Shack my arms, sorry. It's okay, but like the girlfriend thing, it's all, all I mean is like, maybe you go to the beach with me instead of going to the beach with Maddie. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, so he just wants, he wants more.

I just want, and he's not gonna get it. Okay, you can't date grace a littlefully and expect to get attention, okay? Yeah, it's not. You know, like, for a moment, I almost was like, oh, I see, like, she's just not giving him, like, he wants to spend time with her, but I was like, no, but he woke her up at the middle of the night going through her texts.

That is lunatic behavior. And this right here, this, like, I just want more time with you. This is all bullshit and he's possessive and a jealous person and probably evil and we'll see him on 48 hours mysteries someday. So Grace that tells us Liam. That's three days Liam is literally depleting me at this point, okay, and she's saying I I've been lost and I've been feeling like I haven't been fulfilling my purpose in life. Crayistically, what is your purpose in life? Tell us. I would like to know.

I'm used to who a whoop. When was the last time I did that? You know what I'm saying? I need to concentrate on me, Liam. I am not a cage bird. I am a free bird. And you cannot pluck my feathers. Although, I guess having my feathers plucked has nothing to do with how free I am not a cage bird, I am a free bird and you cannot pluck my feathers. Although I guess having my feathers plucked has nothing to do with how free I am,

but that is neither here nor there. Please do not pluck. Don't pluck my feathers. What am I chicken? Don't eat me! I'm not realizing that I'm so much better on my own. I must fly with all feathers intact. So then we cut to everybody kind of doing their thing for the day. Emmy is getting her clothes ready. Maddie's working on her DJ set and by working on it, I mean pressing play and then like putting her arms in the air and dancing around. Joe Face Times is hot's called Nanny's Chicken Palm

is like literally so funny. I guess what's funny to me is it seems like he's from an Italian family and I just don't imagine. I imagine like all Italian grandmother's referred to as like Nona, right? But I just don't expect Nanny. Nanny's like such a British. It feels so British like Nanny is like such a British. It feels so

British like nanny's chicken farm. So then we go over to Mia's house and TJ comes over and she's like, um why didn't you knock? He's like, oh I was just vacuuming the hallmate. Sorry, home, I'm gonna say, okay go. Okay, how's it going, nice place, wow. Hmm. This is pretty nice. I see this very large, un-backhumed area with broken glass. What happened to your bar cart? He's just like, oh, let's just say things are going really well with Troy.

So they sit down and they're drinking wine on the couch and then TJ gets like a text, oh, hold on one second. I made $700 in sales yesterday. Oh, that's right, you don't work at Republican anymore. Sorry bitch, sorry. Yeah, he's like, oh, by the way, Sally, what a bitch. I keep catching her in lies.

So, Jo and Sally had a date the other night, Joe Kirkder dinner, and then she told Joe she worked all day, but actually she got off at two o'clock when home with my roommate Gaston. Actually, her and Gaston made out. So, I don't think they've had sex, but that's enough. By the way, Gaston, talking about thirsty cast members making around, he's made it onto two Bravo shows this week.

Congratulations, buddy. Yeah, congrats Gaston. You made it like now Gaston is dating Taylor. He made it references on two Bravo shows that actually being on the shows, amazing, not even being seen. Some of me is like, oh my god, they made it references on two bravo shows that actually being on the shows. Amazing, not even being seen. Some of me was like, oh my god, they made it out. And like, by the way, I'm not making it with people I'm not having sex with. Yeah, they did.

And they can make it more of that moral standard. I will only make it out with people I'm fucking. So yeah, unlike Pam, so it teaches, I fuck 20 people. So I can make out with them. I mean, that's how it would work. That's how it would work in my mind. I don't understand that line.

Well, let me get more innocent. Listen, I want to talk some more shit about that slut. Okay, they can make out as much as they want. That's fine. And by it's saying that's fine. That means it's not fine. And we'll be judging about it. But it's the fact that she's lying to Joe and saying nothing is wrong

with the consent, nothing's going out with Gaston. And then Gaston's helping her pick out the outfit for her date with Joe. So Mia's like, oh my god. If I were her I would just own it. Know what I mean? Yeah, own it. Own it. Own it. That's what I'd say. Just own it. And then the next day she invited Gaston to lunch and then she told Gaston she didn't want to even date Joe. And me, it's like, damn. Well, that's just karma for playing with me. For playing me last season. That huge storyline that happened in the last five minutes

of the episode of the very last episode of the season, which I will carry around until the day I die. Trust me, you're not gonna play my best friend and my roommate. Welcome Charleston. This is Smileyestown Bitch. Okay, something tells me. It's a little hard there.

A little hard, Sally must have knocked over a sack of vacuum bags because he's really pressed about this. Oh yeah. So then people are getting dressed for work. It's time to get going and then Emmy's like, oh my god Well, well, this is huge. Well, I got an email from Leo CEO. It's crazy It said do you want to die? Pick this up read this email immediately. We'll self-combust in your face if you don't open it I'm like I guess what they're testing me

Maddie will be absent from work tomorrow due to a DJ gig up the street. We need someone to step in and lead the lineup from a VIP perspective. This would be a good way to trial out, taking lead, signed ownership, slash, layout. So then we go to the house at Maddie staying in and Maddie is like on her turn table.

She's like, hold on. What's that push in? Hold on. Let me take a break from my art. What's going on, bro? And he's like, after knowing how's it going? I just spurmed into a gallon. That was nice.

There's only one gallon in town. So I've had to keep refilling it over and over, but finally got some sperm and I got a little dick on my cheese. A little cheese on my dick. Anyway, it has a good one for you, sorry. Got the cheese on the dick backwards, though. What? It has happened the other way around, too, so.

Why do you look like a pimp? It's like, oh, don't worry about it. It's just a G thing, you know? I got a little diamond in my tooth last night. What do you think? Don't worry. I'll take it out before I work. I love that.

Like, there's like a dress code at Republic where if you have a diamond or a tooth, it's like unacceptable at Republic. Well, I'm just putting my set list together because I've got new music and I have to see how the crowd likes it. One of them is called latte because every time I start playing, they start making latte and that makes a lot of noise So I'm just gonna like work it into this set brilliant right? Yeah, check out check out this artist. This is called no hawk check it out

Oh my god, that was so fresh. I'm so excited I feel like I have like a million questions asked James Kennedy like when you press play Do you do it like quickly or do you do like a do a light tap or you press hard like these have like a million questions asked James Kennedy like when you press play do you do it like quickly or do you do Do you like to do a light tap or you press hard like these are like the intricacies? I need to find out about It's never meet your heroes. That's by warning so then we go to a public and Emmys moving tables around and Joe saying hi to everybody and Emmys like oh my god. I'm getting the opportunity right now to prove myself

till the CEO and ownership. Who I would say by name, but I really wanna be on my best behavior tonight. Yeah, and she's like cleaning containers and she's like, I can't believe Matty left us so fucking dirty. So now they're having their lineup meeting and so Emmy comes and says, all right guys,

how are we doing? Are we doing okay and Joe goes? Yes, Queen all right So I just want to say thank you to Miss Aria for coming in tonight and filling in for me since I'm filling in for Maddie this big night tonight We got a lot of energy happening Okay, we got we got Limes that have been sliced lemons that have been juiced we got letters on signs We're gonna do this and we're gonna show ownership who's the new ownership around here. Is everyone with me? Can I get a, hey, can I get a hot, can I get a hot?

Yeah, it's pretty good. You're doing, you're really crushing us, how are you doing great job? I love that girl who we saw in the kitchen last week who she was complaining to. The girl with bleached blonde hair. Yeah. You got a girl.

You know, she reminds me of her. It's like, hey, I got a girl. She's nodding like, you go, you are the boss today. You're the winner of the day. Guess what? I'm going to take orders from you. I don't care about customers. It's all you, baby.

You are in this. She always looks like she just had a terrible phone call with her mother. Like you don't believe in my mom just said. You know what she had to say to me? She told me the only reason why our TV is broken is because I didn't get my nails on with her this morning. She always puts everything on me. She looks like one of the daughters who used to work at the Skyline's bowling alley bar next to the snack bar that I used to be the chef at when I was 14 and 15 years old. Thank you everybody. Let me just bow. Let me just bow. But she taught me how to tie cherry stems with my tongue. So you know, just seeing her on TV, I just, I can smell the Benson and Hege's mentals

from here. And God I miss you. It's all I'm trying to say. So TJ is in a snit again because Sally has walked in and he's like, it's hard to see Sally come into work all into Joe because I know what she's done. And I'm afraid Joe is going to get heartbroken and I don't want to see that and see him getting plead. Okay, so I'm going to be awful and ruin their happiness. So then Maddie is walking to the other club and James isn't there signing T-shirts.

He's like, hey, it's me, mate, I'm standing in the morning, good to you, shit. Hey, but you might want to have a chance to sign a T-shirt. Because I remember when I was here, you just shit. Hey, but you might want to have a chance to sign a t-shirt. Cause I remember when I was a huge sotter now. You know, the way you're stuck now. No t-shirts to sign. I just remember walking into J. Crane and thinking, what a bunch of blank fucking t-shirts. One day I'm gonna come in here,

someone's gonna ask me the fucking sign every one of these gold damn things. And here I am. No one knows who you are. Who cares? Here's a Sharpie. You see what I'm saying all right now? It's called a chair.

Guess what, when I started out, I was sitting on toilet paper. Now I'm in a chair. That's what you'm saying all right now? It's called a chair. Guess what? When I started out, I was sitting on toilet paper. Now I'm in a chair. That's what you're going to look forward to, okay, Mattie? That's what this career trajectory can do for you. You go from toilet paper to chair, and then after chair, fast dole. Okay, never stop dreaming. And she was like, oh my god, James is so super cool.

Like I do feel like he's a little bit like you better listen like there's a lot being said. He's James. He's not saying anything. He's like everybody's out there. He's like hooked up out of his mind. Like who are we getting here? He's like oh my god. He has so much energy.

He's like. Take this locker. Take it. Hey guess what this shit is made out of. Cotton, so good bitch. Cotton bitch. Oh my god. He's so good. I should have known you're Marcus! Take this locker, take it! Hey, guess what this shirt is made out of? Cotton, soccer beach, cotton beach! Oh my God, he's so dope and making this connection with James could be huge for my DJ career. He is, she's one step away from being in Nocella.

So James is like, how long have you been a DJ? What stories, stupid slut? And she's like, well, I feel like I want to dive in the DJ thing, but it's like hard because I'm also like running a nightclub kind of. I'm sort of like ownership unofficially. And I just like question, can I have it both? Can I have the DJ life and work in a club at the same time. It's like what you really need to be the heck out to do it. Whatever you're gonna choose. And it's like, yeah, I want to do it, but you know what? Like, it's like really expensive to upkeep my Uber,

my Uber Eats, my Niels, my Botox. I'm gonna spend a bitch. I mean, this costs a lot of money. I can't just like wait around for DJ eggs. Yeah. The work light balance. So then, so real, so real for her. It really is, man.

Once you get, listen, I'm never gonna be able to quit this job. You know why? Because I started getting Botox. That right there, you're stuck doing whatever you wanna do. Like you're a prisoner to it, because no offense. Not that I consider this being prisoner or a prison. But like I'm never gonna be able to quit because otherwise my face is gonna fall directly to the floor.

Okay? It's gonna get caught in TJ's vacuum. So, that's it. That's not good. Oh no, that's a terrible fate for your face. TJ's vacuum just down there waiting to pick up Botox faces. Like Botox got it. Finally got that bitch. It's like sharks swirling under a ship.

So, now it's time to go to Republic. And everyone's got the sparklers and birthday signs and all that usual stuff. And then Joe's outside talking to Sal and he's like, hey, shall we? Um, I want to sleep over. And like, can I come over? Like, maybe tomorrow I'll make you 90's pancakes.

She goes, um, maybe. He's like, oh, maybe. He's like, well, I have to see how you behave tonight. So, I mean, he's like, oh my God, look at me working. I feel like I've been doing this job for like 10 years now. Okay, like, I hope a loveout realizes how hard I've been working for this. Like, I need to be a 10 out of 10.

Like, full on 10. Like, I need to be so good at this that we'll want to take into the bathroom. I need to be there. I, too soon on my own references. I need to be there. Too soon for me. I want to go from being the one who makes

who squeezes lines to being like, hey, squeeze lines. God! What my life will be like at that point. So now it's back to Sally and she's like, so Joe, can you at least button two of your buttons when I'm working? Cause no, it's not good for shout out. I'm like, yeah, some sort of your cleave

is really what's gonna get people into this club. And Bradley's like, come on guys, no canutling at work. So then we go to Maddie's gig and Michele shows up. And you know, he shows up exactly how he probably shows up to everywhere he ever got like he probably shows up to Barnes and Noble like this just screaming and wooing and then dancing on a table. Yes sir. Please get off the table. No, I'm we're doing this. He's like, I guess want to copy a fourth wing.

He's like I guess water copy a fourth wing So mad Madness it's Todd from Top of my mind is this is why you shouldn't rent you should spend that money buying young adults fiction like fourth wing so That's like I'm so excited Whenever happened to in coosusku, somebody right? In a view with a vampire, more like in a view with a real estate maven.

So, Matt's like, I'm so excited. Literally, there was a line down the block at eight o'clock, trying to get into this coffee shop tonight. This is huge, huge. And she's like, yeah, I've been sober in nine years, but DJing is my drug. coffee shop tonight. This is huge, huge. And she's like, yeah, like I've been sober in nine years, but like DJing is my drug. It's my high, because it's like what surfers call the Green Mile.

And I'm sorghum, it just pops through a while. He's like, I made it, I finally made it. Oh God, I did all that digging, you know. All I get to do is listen to this shitty gig and a Coffee shop, but I'm here. I really feel like playing my music and showing my art is in my own way my own Shawshank redemption So then She does her set and James comes out kind of in the middle of her song and takes all of the audience attention because it's, you know, just girls who watch Vanderpump rules, wooing a lot.

And so she just quits in the middle of the song and goes back to her friends and dances on the table. She's like, yes, I did it. Yeah. Who write pop? And she's just like this pumping on the side. This literally reminded me of being at a frat party. And I just love that they're treating it like they're

in the Sahara tent at Coachella. And it's just like a small room with some like tourists just dancing. So, I'm like, here we do judge a drain. You're right, you're right. So now we are back at Republic.

And Emmy is like, okay, James Kennedy might be in town, but we're better everyone. I was like, there we go. That's the Pepp talk you need to give. All right, did you get that sign ready? Okay, good. It says better than James Kennedy, stupid bitch. TJ's like, I wrote that last part.

So they take it out with sparklers. And then TJ's like, um, Sally, can I speak to you for a moment outside? And so he takes her out. And he's like, so, um, can I speak to you for a moment outside? And so he takes her out. And he's like, so, um, how are you? Great, great. So what do you think about the date with Joe? You fucking lying, Harlett chicken Parmesan eating that chicken Parmesan.

You didn't have to write that chicken Parmesan. Do you know I've worked for four years to get Nanny's chicken Parmesan? I still haven't had it. And you just walked in here, get Nanny's chicken Parm, and then you sneak around and gasped on, I'm not going to't had it. And you just walked in here getting any nanny's chicken palm and then you seek round gas ton I'm not gonna stand for it And he's like yeah, well I get home and then I hear you were hanging out with Gaston leading up to the date You also made out with Gaston before the date you just want to pretend you're some little girl reading books up a street I'm saying hello to all the neighbors

She's like, what? You're a hooker. You're a hooker bitch trying to steal guests all. Hooker in the beast. That's what that should be called. So she's like, what? What are you talking about? And she's like, yeah, and you know,

any help you pick out the outfit? Guess what? He lives with a gay and you didn't even come to me for outfit advice. How dare you? How dare you? And the next day, yes, not pick you up at 8 AM. And then you guys did hook up that morning.

Ha! I'm like, what? TJ is like a little bit too invested in this, if you ask me. I'm actually not even believing TJ anymore, because she seems so confused by all of it. I don't think she looks confused. I think she looks like, oh shit. I think he totally got her.

I mean, Sally, what the hell? You're hooking up with Gaston at the same time. There are cameras everywhere. What do you think you're getting away from, or what do you? You're hooking up with Gaston at the same time. There are cameras everywhere. What do you think you're getting away from, or what do you think you're getting away with here? No one is gonna get away with this here, man, okay? So he's like, you're gaslighting Joe at night because I'm not gaslighting him.

I just don't wanna see someone I care about getting hurt and I also wanna have some of Danny's chicken part, please. So then Joe sees that. He's like, why are you guys talking, why are you guys talking like right now outside? Okay, this girl could get cold and she's gonna be my future wife. Sally, are you cold?

And T.T. is like, um, everything's fine. Everything's fine, Joe. So he just like walks away and then Joe goes for a kiss and she's like, you can't kiss me at work, Joe. So then Joe goes for a kiss and she's like, you can't kiss me at work, Joe. So then Joe goes inside because he thinks that TJ has been acting weird.

So he's like, what happened? Like, what did you talk to her? Like, while you're working, that's like crazy. Why would you do that, TJ? He's like, I found out that she was with Gaston before Yall State and they made up before your date. He's like, what? The middle?

Yeah, right before and then they went to lunch together and she told Gaston that she didn't even want to be with you or like date or anything. He's like, oh, but like that was Nanny's chicken palm. That's sorry, you wasted it was wasted on her. So he goes out and she's like, hey babe, hi. He's like, I wanna call Gaston because you went to lunch with Gaston,

you made out with Gaston and you made out right before our day. That's like a serial killer move. All right, this was serial killers too. They go to lunch before chicken parm days. This is a Kacha. No, I call him, call him, because it's just weird. I told you it was the chicken par moon.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Markin, Martin Horsese, okay? Cotton, you were hot. Silence of the chicken parm. That's like, that's like, just like makes me sick. It like makes me more sick than I was after I tried to make nannies chicken parm. Turns out, meeting Rare, not a way to go. So, it's like, I was with five, I was

with chicken. So, it's like, I was with five other people, which sort of sounds funny. The sort of sounds like she's saying, no, I wasn't like it with Gaston, I was like it with five other people. I know, I thought that was funny too. But, so, what are you talking about? I mean, there were like a lot me too. But it's like, what are you talking about? I mean, there were like a lot of people. And she's like, Joe, can I talk to you? He's like, no, I'm calling Gaston. You better way.

Ah. Pupu, pupu. Deep, Gaston busy. I think the voice knows. It's a jamming. She's following a moron. It's like, get out on the floor. I'm telling you, as you're boss right now,

get out on the floor. Well, I wait patiently for Gaston to call me back. I feel like an idiot. I feel like all my friends tell me I put trust into people too soon. And I thought Sally was going to be my way to prove them wrong. And then you hear the truth and it like all comes crashing down. It's like Joe, why are you also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with a direct report to you. Like, you shouldn't have been doing this in the first place. This is on you, I don't feel bad whatsoever. With a direct report to him, what do you mean?

Well, that meaning that like Sally works under him and reports directly to him, right? Yeah, I mean, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, gross. Yeah, you're not supposed to be doing that in the first place, Joe. Okay. So this is all your fault. She would love us to say about this next time she's running errands and

happens to stop by to see if the kitchen that's never open is open. Also, by the way, producers, you kind of messed up because for us to really care about whether or not Sally was doing something behind Joe's back, you have to give us more of Joe and Sally than them standing in front of the club for like five seconds Once per episode for two episodes. Okay. Come on. It's called building up a story here Well, it's also just kind of the culture of where they are at least from what we've learned from this show and from Southern charm Like they're trying to make these big bombs dropping about cheating

But they all cheat all the time. It's like, am I supposed to care that Trevor cheats? We know Trevor cheats, you know? Or am I supposed to be surprised that Will's cheating? And every five minutes, and that person cheated. Oh! Well, yeah.

I mean, der. So now, Joe's, what? Oh, sorry, I thought it was over. I was gonna say, okay, now we're moving over to the next show. Oh, I mean, it's pretty much over. Basically, Joe goes and calls Gaston. Oh, yeah, you said this part already, actually. I didn't realize you said this.

So, yeah, he calls Gaston and leaves the voice mail and he's like, it's just the surest, they are gonna match on. So now, let's go over to real housewives of Potomac. Real housewives. Real Housewives. It's going to do a catch up on because it's, you know, it's not having its best season. It's most entertaining season.

And like we say every week, recapping this show, this has been the best show on Bravo for years. It's been the best housewives for a long time and it rightly earned its place up there. But they kind of hit a snag this season where they just decided to keep the whole cast even though the cast refuses to film with each other. And so we're seeing a lot of fallout because of that. Also you heard this week that the producer got fired, right? I did not hear it.

Which runner? Was it Eric Fuller? Yes. Eric Fuller, supposedly, and I read this from Reddit. Hi, Reddit, thank you. I read that he got fired from this and Atlantis. Someone was posting his LinkedIn, and he was saying, hey guys, I'm looking for a job if anybody knows anything.

So it looks like at least they're making an effort. Well, maybe that was the problem, because Atlantis had a terrible season, and Potomac's not having a good season. And if this guy's in charge of both those shows, they have these large production teams. So I don't know if he was in charge, but if he was in charge, then it seems like they did the right thing.

Because I had to say one thing with this episode, it was not, it was, it was, it, all day enough, it was actually a better episode to me than the past few weeks because even though there wasn't a lot going on and it was actually obviously more serious episode, which is another reason, you know, why we're just gonna check in on it because like, it deals with really, really heavy stuff that I don't think it's like appropriate for us to be joking about. But I noticed that this episode did not have a whole bunch

of the shenanigans, it did not have a bunch of like on-screen post-production silliness and drawings and joky stuff and fake like old-timey movies. It just like had people talking with who they're talking with. And I actually, it's like the show is much better to me because of that. They just, you know, it may not have been the most lively episode, but it was definitely a better episode in my mind. Yeah, it was a good episode. A couple of scenes that stood out Wendy and her mom, Hull Areas, Wendy is just not going to be able to outrun.

Like, Wendy really does think everybody's just a moron on this show. And it cracks me and the audience, I mean, Wendy is constantly just trying to spin this narrative, which I get that they all do that's part of their job. But Wendy, you cannot get me to believe that your mother did not call Leba and tell, you know, threaten the other lady with the shrine. And so she's like, okay, I'm going to have this scene with my mom. After last week, she made it like, oh my mom, my mom is in surgery. She was, they called the mom and she's like,

it's gonna take 10 minutes. She's like, please call me when you're out. And so she calls her mom in and the mom's like, okay, she goes, how was your surgery, mom? She goes, well, listen, it was elective. And so I have to deal with it. She's like, what do you mean it's elective? Mom, mom, this is not what we talked about.

Never in Texas. Just sipping, like, mom's like, oh yeah, it was elective, but then the one in Texas was not elective. She like changes her story. And then when Wendy says, like, oh yeah, this girl, Neckah says this and that. She tells the story and the mom at first was like, I never called, I never called. I never

called. And she goes, but then, you know, levy, levy and my sister, she goes, Oh, well, I did call levy and I did say, it's easier to make an enemy than it is to make a friend. It's like, okay. So you did call and you did say something. You called her in threatened to ask. Come on. Like, I could see an interpretation where she's saying, listen, it's so hard to make friends. Like, why don't you like work at this friendship? But I can also see how saying that

sounds totally like a threat. That's totally a threat. Hey, you know what? It's easier to keep your friends. Like, don't you want to have your friends rather than make an enemy? Like, basically, because what she was accused of friends, like don't you want to have your friends rather than make an enemy? Like basically, because what she was accused of was saying was, everybody knows where I'm

you better watch your ass if you're going to mess with my daughter in this town. So it makes sense that she's calling her and being like, do you want me to be your friend? Will you enemy? Also Wendy is not loving these answers because she knows exactly what it looks like and her mother does not give a fuck and it's cracking me up. And when she's telling her mom, um, yeah, mom, I mean, why would you call, you know her right? Leb, she says, Oh, Lebby, yeah, well, you know, we're so close to Lebby that she's like,

our other daughter. Right. She's like, my other daughter. After Wendy and Texas was like, I don't know, Lebby. And her mom is like, yeah, her mom is like, my other daughter. And then she's like, I didn't know the thing with the shrine. And she goes like, the shrine, I mean, the only shrine I know of is the St. Sonesos

in downtown Baltimore, which is a Catholic shrine. So basically, I like to wait that scene. And it's because if I see this woman, Neckah, you know what I'm gonna do to her. So basically I like to wait that scene and it goes, if I see this woman, Neckah, you know what I'm gonna do to her. She's like, what? I'm gonna pray for her. I'm gonna pray for her.

She's like, oh God, don't say that. Then we have confirmed that the mom treats, thinks Libby is like a daughter, but only loves Catholic shrines. Okay, everybody. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, guys. Totally bought that one. We also have a cooking scene where Mia and Gordon

go to learn how to make pasta with Robin and Juan. And the scene opens with Juan walking into building but first taking a call to do his job search and his job search was like, come on, you gotta hire me. You gotta hire me. You gotta job, I hear this job. Come on, help me out, help me out. Come on, hire me out, come on search was like, come on, you gotta hire me, you gotta hire me, you gotta job, I hear this job, come on, help me out, help me out, come on, come on, hire me out, come on, come on, you gotta hire me. All right, let's do some company.

Yeah. He's like, come on coach, come on, make sure to call him back, I'm really trying to get this job. Okay, we can go in now. So they go in and listen, I think anybody who's ever made handmade pasta, you're probably disagree with this, I don't know,

what do I know? Why would you, just buy it boxed? I mean, what I agree. I agree. Jesus Christ, like the whole volcano and the flower and the egg and the flower and then, you know, sit there and then rest it and then long, long. I agree.

Real, fucking pasta. There's like good quality pauses out there that are really good. I mean, it was funny because of watching this. I was like, no, maybe I should just try it once. I think I'll try it once, but generally speaking, it's a lot of counter space, a lot of mess. I don't know, you have to have a machine, I don't have a machine, unless you're doing something to your hand cut, it's too much. And of course Rob and Wanner are totally unable to put eggs in their little volcano hole.

I don't know how you messed that up, but they did. So they're making their pasta,. So they're making their pasta, and while they're making their pasta, you know, God bless me. This is where Mia really shines, being fully messy. So she's like, now one, I'm gonna ask you because I'm her in the story from Robin and I've heard it from the news

and I'm her full out of people. I just need to know from you. Instead of a girl, so you paying her a hotel room was like, radicon, you were in the girl. So she's basically asking Juan to like explain himself. And it's like, yeah, yeah, no, I went to the hotel and I did it. So much mechas.

So, you know, like, you can do that over the phone, right? Like, next time you're gonna do it over the phone, you're not gonna go there in person, right? Oh my god, he was just so uncomfortable. Like, uh, and Robin was not jumping into help. And he was just stuck. And he's like, you know what, I'm a person. And I make mistakes.

I'm like, oh, man, we got to that part. So they make pasta and that's pretty much that. But it was good to see Mia fucking call him out. I love it It was I mean obviously he's still lying, you know, but he doesn't get to just yell at me and walk off He had to like sit there and deal with it. Yeah, she did a good she did a good job of Calling him out like when she like said you could have done this over the phone And then she talks more about like she's really living with the gills of what happened with that lawyer

Who they were dealing with who had passed away And then we have Jacelle Jacelle does some self-defense with grace because grace is gonna go off to school so do some self-defense classes and then Karen and Ray Karen Karen's like, Ray, Ray, Ray. Now, you know, now that I'm like that, triple 20, I do have to say something to you. Like, I really didn't appreciate it.

I got off the call with my cardiologist. And the first thing you did was like, you saw him yelling at me. He saw him yelling at me when I was just right. He was like, I was trying to leave the house. I would not have taken anyone's call except for yours. But you ain't yelling at me, Ray.

He's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Gary. He's like, T times will not wait. And she's like, except for yours. But you ain't yelling at me, Ray! He's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guys. It's like T times will not wait. And she's like, oh, Ray, I had 5% calcium in my heart, Ray. It was so Ray, we need to discuss. When your wife has 5% calcium in her heart, Ray. He's like, oh, for fuck sake, you know, I should be in Miami right now. So she has an event for Pave,

which is rough down Dation for women who have been raped. So she has like a lunch with a lunch and sing for this and everyone goes, it's a really sad, it's a touching episode, I guess I would say. It was such a... But one thing that was cracking me up and all of this was it's the most serious thing ever,

but then Karen just kept going, now Let me tell you something about Jizelle Jizelle's gonna be there for me. All right Jizelle and I have ups. We have downs. We have straight forwards We have a rounds. We have one yard. We have another yard. We have a fence in between. I am the fence And that's how that does and then it'll be 10 minutes later and she's like, here's one thing I'll say about Robin. She will show up for me. We may have our problems down the road. 10 minutes later. Here's what I'll say for these girls.

They come here. They come to places where there's lunch that I'm at with lunch. They will come. They will show up. Karen was doing a speech like she won an SB award or something, like she, it was like the varsity dinner at the end of the season and she gets up to compliment the team. She really was, she really was taking a victory lap.

But yeah, but the scene was moving. It was also really, you know, it's, you hear, you see how many people on this cast alone have unfortunately been the victims of sexual assault. And you just make you really reflect on really how widespread it is and how terrible it is. And Mia, like Mia actually has to step away from the table and she gets like very emotional. And we learn like actually a little bit more about

the fractures of her relationship with Jacqueline because Mia's incident happened when Jacqueline had left her for the night and Jacqueline's boyfriend at the time, sexually assaulted Mia. And so that's like, it was very, you know, it was like she was really crying. And it also gives some insight as to why their relationship last year was just so uneasy because there's real, real dark issues between them. So, you know, that

was it? Yeah, so that was Potomac. So we will be back with that over the season. There's so much going on right now on Bravo. So we're just choosing, you know, choosing the thing that make us laugh at most. Yeah. And this week it was Southern hospitality, but obviously never giving up on this show. We love this show, you know, and hopefully with this news,

with showrunner changes and stuff, it looks like the network is going to be making some of the like, necessary changes. So we'll see. We will see, but everyone, thank you so much for being here. Get your tickets for the crappies at watchacrapans.com, and we are going to catch you on the next episode.

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