Watch What Crappens - #2301 RHOSLC, Part One: Book of Salty Burns

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

*This is part one of a two-part episode*The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S04E19) concludes its three-part season 4 Reunion with a flop of a burn hook and an equally as floppy shiner confession. Is anyone here to be believed, and is Monica gone for good? Fingers crossed for a Linda surprise. To watch the video version of this recap and for our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 27 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery's new podcast, Dis and Tell, wades into the glorious mess of celebrity beef. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud and asks, what does our obsession with these feuds say about us? Follow Dis and Tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crapprap and the podcast for all that crap. We just love to talk about on Yield Profs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there.

Hello, little Beninitunes. What you doing? Hi, hi, hi, hi. How are you? Good. Very excited over there today. How are you? I love it.

I got it. You know what? You woke me up, but I say woke up like spiritually woke me up pre-show because I came in today kind of like, oh man, I'm like everything, the reunion, it took a lot out of me, but now we had some chit chat, we talked about stuff, we gossiped, and now I'm like alive and I'm ready to podcast. So yeah, let's do it.

All you need is a little sit talking before you go. Yeah, you know. Oh man, it's the best. Yeah. So everybody, welcome to the show today. Thanks for being here. It is an epic episode. It's a super-sized Part 3 reunion final of Salt Lake City.

A lot of non-answers, a lot of crazy things happen. So we're going to dive into that. It'll probably be 10 parts. So just brace, board yourselves. Also, tickets for the Crappies are on sale now for our show in LA on February the 17th. It's going to be a huge show for us. We're so excited to do it. You can also do pre-limb voting right now. You can find links over on our website, watchitcrapins.com. That's also where you'll find links to Patreon where you can get this video, which we're talking about video right now, honey, Crapins on Demand, and also bonus episodes. And guess what? Crappies will have a

live streaming option ticket. It's a fish. It's a fish. We are working with Moment this year again when they do a great job. So if those, if you guys can't make it to LA, guess what? You can now buy tickets. So go get those streaming tickets for February 17th. Yeah, that is a party. By the way, sorry to interrupt. Hopefully by the time we're done recording, we will have the link and it'll be up on our site. But if it's not up by the time you listen to this, just check back again. Like it's supposed to be coming to us like any minute now. Any minute, guys, the link is arriving any minute. Second.

Um, that's a big party because that is like a couple of thousand people usually or more online. There is a comment section that goes across the screen. The entire show, massive amounts of joke telling and shit talking going on in there. Uh, so that's just a super fun, super fun place to be. And that kind of talking won't get you kicked out of the show like it will at the other show. It won't. So by the way, I'm sorry to like to to really like tease out this moment. But I do want to say honestly, thank you to everyone who has voted already.

We've had like over 10,000 votes on our thing. And like the ballot is really fun. It's really fun to see what's gonna make it cause we're gonna take the top five in each category. And those will be the official nominations, which we will announce on February 5th, I believe. So definitely go and vote. You can vote for as many as you want in the categories

cause it's all about getting that information. But once the nominations come out, you can only vote for one when that happens. So it's just going to be cool. I feel like this is going to be such a showdown between reality boncees and scant of all this year, like Vanderbump rules, Salt Lake City, which makes, which is kind of funny because today is the final Salt Lake City episode. This time next week, Vanderbump rules premiere. So like we have like these giants of Bravo and over the past year duking it out of the crappies but also on our airwaves right now. I'm like this is a great

time to be a Bravo viewer. It really is. You know, we've been blessed. We're hashtag blessed. Yeah. Hashtag blast. Um, but guess what you're going to be blessed with right now? A 10 hour recap. 10 hours of the ending of this season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Let's do this. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a lot of what was said during this reunion, cause I had to keep rewinding it to figure out what the fuck everybody was saying under each other. And also the haze. I mean, Trixie Monocle, the Trixie Monocle acquire was like, listen here, we've been put on the back burner enough. I feel like you're using the boom, boom, boom, boom,

more than you're using the haze. So here's what we've done. We've brought in the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom guy and we brought in the haze. Hit it! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And she's like, all right, everyone, now listen up. Okay, today we're going to New York City. Okay, we normally work in Salt Lake City. We're going to the big city today. Okay, there's media capital of the word. So you know what I want? I want the horse to be horse. I want the laws to be horse. We are bringing all the heat right now because this is our moment.

First step is reunion. Next step Saturday Night Live. Third step, Grammy Awards. Okay, put the vision out there everyone. And they just, they got, they got to it. I mean, it was a lot of haunts. They did it. They just picture a lot of computerized,

like Siri ladies with white turtlenecks in the background, just kind of clapping on, you know, on the ones in the, the ones in the twos. The threes. The ones in the threes, right. Also known as my natural Beat, something I never realized until I started dating a dancer, a choreographer. So anyway, so they are, we're back now at the Goonies set as someone pointed out on Twitter. And Andy is like, wow, look at,

I got the expressions that Meredith gave me this reunion. God, Meredith, she's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I love me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You've been giving me stink eye for two hours. How am I really where I'm from? That's called resting menzo face. Andy, sorry, I'm just been there.

It's called zoning out, I don't know if you've noticed. I've got the crystal of power around mine. What the fuck? Don't turn a light directly on Meredith because it's gonna hit that crystal on her neck and burn a hole straight through her body. Did you notice that thing? What are you trying to kill ants in kindergarten?

What is that? It looks like a magnifying glass. Well, Andy, once this ring is done, I'm gonna climb up on the bow that ship that we have behind us What is that? It looks like a magnifying glass. Well, Andy, once this rain is done, I'm gonna climb up onto the bow of that ship that we have behind us and throw this jewel off into the ocean in Titanic style. So get ready for that.

It's been 84 years. Yeah, pulle! Far. Near, far, wherever you are, my white bean salad will go on. Bruxy will go on. Just see Bruxy snowshoeing across the waves. Like, psh psh psh psh psh psh.

Seth, paint me like one of your women. Okay. No, not motorboat me, Seth. You just painted Whitney's boobs. You just painted Whitney's boob cake, Seth. Amazing that all this is happening on the set behind them. So because we do have to. I mean, I feel like we should remind people that there is a full on ship.

They built a ship behind Andy Cohen. It is like Pirates the Caribbean back there. Yeah. My favorite part, you know, I don't mind the set. Jeff Lewis went on to, I guess, watch what happens live and was like, you're set. Stupid. Stop giving me the gaze so much control, which is hilarious.

It's like, it's time to put your foot down. I didn't really. The thing that I noticed the most is just that anchor hanging off of the coffee table. I mean, that kills me and it could kill one of them. You know, this show really in all the talk this episode and the past few episodes about safety and what are we doing for the cast safety, Andy? What are we doing?

You wanna know what he's doing? He's putting a fucking giant anchor right there. One of you dumbasses is gonna trip over it and fall and hurt your damn selves That's yeah, well they always have sort of like the the Salt Lake City reunion sets are always somewhere between like a Bravo reunion and like double dare, you know Like I feel like you have to like trip over the anchor But then you also have to pull out a red flag from something and then Angie's like oh

Bah And don't but don't look there commercial break where we're gonna have the cast set themselves on fire and stop drop and roll themselves out Like genius can we just All right, let's let's wheel on a giant nose and you have to take your finger in the nostrils and pull out the next question wheel on a giant nose and you have to take your finger in the nostrils and pull out the next question. All right, Heather, the next question you're going to answer is going to be underwater after you've been held down there for more than three minutes. Goodbye.

So, so Andy's like, yeah, Meredith, you're giving me all these crazy expressions. And he's like, are you mad at me? She's like, man, are you not at all? I'm just like I said before, Benzo out just pretending I'm Bermuda again. If you want to ask me questions about that, I'm all, no, no questions about the Benzo chapter. No. Okay, fine.

That's usually people give me dirty looks at the Jersey reunion is not SLC and you know, Jen Aiden just threw a meatball at the TV screen like, Oh yeah, I'm not duty good bitch. Duty good. Duty good. Look what's so wrong with the girl just wanna give a guy a look baby. Yeah, you wanna piece on me Andy?

I'm here, I'm here, whatever you better. You wanna pizza me or you wanna pizza digger baby? Off he eats an oven. Link, link, link, link, link, plink, plink, plink. They all just got such, right? So bad idea from me, bitch. Okay, you know what? I want to put them pizza ovens, some Snickers creamer. Okay, try that out for size.

All right, I forget. You guys are even at this reunion, but you need to focus here, guys. You know what needs to be cooked a little bit less? Louis' terrible reputation. All right, this has been in be cooked a little bit less Louis terrible reputation. All right That's been in the oven a little bit too long Okay, so here we go we are just gonna start with this reunion This is gonna be bonkers today. Yeah, oh by the way, I just said There's one other announcement I have to make

It's gonna be annoying today because I'm going to sound like I'm taking these really long awkward pauses because my new goal is to stop. Listen, it's 2024. I'm making new goals for myself. Okay. But here's one of them. Stop saying, um, so, um, so, cause I've had a couple of comments like, you know, all you say is, um, so, and I listened back a little bit and it's true.

Ronnie, I'm going to make you feel better. Okay. First of all, I also say variations on um so and when I get excited, I say like a million times, which is really embarrassing, especially when we're trying to do our little video clips and I watch us doing our video clips and I'm like, I don't like like like and then like how does it look like like like and like like like. So first of all, that's okay. We have to do a lot of talking.

So if we need to say those words, we are allowed to have some place fillers. And furthermore, when I was in college, I took a class on linguistics. And I asked about the word like and using the word like. And the linguistics professor said, you know, like is a space filler and we're allowed to use it and people shouldn't make fun of when people say like

and like or things like so um because we our brains need those moments to catch up and if we don't catch up then we're just going to be disasters. I may be paraphrasing him but my point is don't feel bad because you have to put in a place filler to catch up with your brain to what you want to say next. I don't feel bad. It's just that now I've noticed it and I just want to shut myself up. Okay, it's a goal. Let me have my goal. Listen, without self-hatred, I wouldn't run.

That's how I run. That's my fuel. I need to be disappointed in myself at all times or I won't do anything. If I'm just proud of myself, I'll just be in bed. I do believe there are AI filters now that can filter out things like like and so um, because I should you not, uh, apparently Doritos,

I think it's Doritos came out with a, an AI filter that edits out the sound of munching on chips. So the idea is like eat chips while you podcast because this filter will edit the sound out. Do on chips. So the idea is like, eat chips while you podcast because this filter will edit the sound out. Do I trust it? No, but we're moving that way in society. This has added a filter that just removes PK's hands from constantly coming into the bag

while they're trying to shoot mad. Okay, fine. Because don't erase my expression. Chip, so much expression. Now you're erasing me, it's Euras erasure, which by the way ladies and gentlemen erasure Welcome back from a game of kick the house wife off the wagon to Wow, this is a really long monologue. I'm giving you it's a fun season

So we see a montage of the drag queen competition and Lisa breaking down because she had to wear a drag queen makeup Saying my makeup artist is on retainer. Okay. I have glam and monaco. I have glam in central pay I have glam wherever I go hold on open the window Alisa break down you know in a year of amazing quotes from bravo Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's like I you know for as much as we got in there there's stuff that we just keep on forgetting You know that I mean it's just that's it's hard Bravo gives us so many wonderful It's a lot. There's a lot So we see it's a montage of like that It's a montage of all the the games the table games etc And then as the montage is editing, you know, they have Monica the little box watching it and she goes wow

It's better than like 55 and I took the way you guys do. I'm like, whoa. It's because Lisa, they're even talking over each other while the clips are playing, right? So there's all these things, all these things that are going on on the screen and Lisa goes, what are you, like 12? And she's like, that's better than I think 55 like you guys do. Old lady. And then we get a boom.

That makes more sense. So then we come back, cause of course that's a Monica response, right? Also, you know, I know that everybody hates Monica on the stage right now, but they're not giving her terrible advice. I mean, Lisa says a few times in this like, you're just so bad at arguing.

You gotta stop, like argue better. Just saying you're old and ugly isn't an argument. Like, I need more, you know? Like if you're gonna be on stage with the big dogs I'm gonna need more like add in poor like Lisa does yeah just add in some poor shaming or something I think actually if I had to give a note to Monica which oh by the way case no one heard Monica got fired but Monica I think then I think what we see in this reunion is like, we've seen the limits of Monica. Like we see how she is a freshman housewife

because there was a way for her to come in here and save her job and she didn't do it. Like that, like that's where she's a rookie. Oh my God, there is just so much you guys don't know When I finally have my chance to get my story you are gonna hear it And then we get here and she doesn't what is her story? It's worse. It's even worse. It's even worse that we thought it gets worse every week Yeah, she really she could have she could have saved her job. She could have repaired things I believe I think this is like it could have saved her job, but she could have repaired things, I believe. I think this was like, it was a hard uphill battle,

but she could have done it, but she didn't do it. And that's where it's like, you know, it's like when you see like a rookie, a rookie football player, they're like massive, a rookie football player is massively talented. They got to the NFL, but then they dropped the ball in the big game because they're still, they don't have the experience yet. And that is important. So this was too much for her, I think. It got, it got away

from her. It got away from her. She's got the sass, I think. She's got the attitude. She's got the charisma. She's got a fun personality. I think overall, I mean, I like her overall. I think as a housewife, she's just a bad, it was just a bad audition. And now this show is famous for bad auditions. Angie Harrington, notoriously terrible. Angie, Greek Angie, not great. Like, not a great actress. I love it, I love the Greek Angie.

Well, no, no, hold on. Oh, I see. But that's my point. She's been terrible, but she's like warmed everybody over and gotten to us, you know, like gotten to our hearts. But Monica's just not really Monica has this huge chance here. Now, I do see that she's gotten to a lot of hearts because I do read

the internet. And so I do see that she's got a ton of people furious that she's gone. I say I was rooting for you. And this was your big audition and like you couldn't even rehearse better comebacks than you got. You still have your old and ugly. That's what you've got. Come on. I need more. I believe in you. I mean, I think that Monica is going to go down as the greatest single season housewife of all time. I don't, this is not going to be the end of Monica. We're going to see her. She will most certainly be on the traders next season.

I think they could even find a way to bring her back to the show. She maybe needs to be on quote unquote pause. Well, that's what it is. It's pause. And that's the other thing. Don't everybody get so excited. They're riling you up on purpose. They did not fire Monica.

Andy said today she's on pause. So she's not fired. She will be brought back. Do you really think they're gonna let Monica walk out the door now? They can't. I mean, look, I thought Monica was wonderful. I thought like she gave us amazing moments. Her and her mom, she was just great. She was everything you could want for. I was disappointed that she did not. She seems so savvy all season long. And she was, to me, she played this reunion incorrectly. She fell into every single one of Lisa Barlow's traps, actually, because Lisa Barlow would

often come at Monica at this reunion. And Monica would sort of meet me, meet Barlow where her energy was, and Monica needed to play the victim. She needed to do the thing where she was a victim of Jen Shaw and she got caught up in this mess. She didn't know what to do. And now she is feels like she has like made genuine friendships for the first time in her damage, damage life.

And here she has ruined them all because she got caught up in social media and all she can do is hope that people can find that in their hearts yada yada bullshit bullshit bullshit. Exactly. And you know who's a master at that? Heather. Heather Day. Oh my gosh. And to see these people come on here after we've been calling this the Community Theater

Housewives since episode one, okay? This is my favorite community theater show on TV. I've always wanted there to be a show about community theater and we finally got it. It's like people just trying to put on this Housewide Show. We've teased it about that ever since the start. But to see these people become real full-fledged pros, I mean, it does show you that like people like Monica just need a little practice and a little experience because whoever thought that these people would become so good at this. I mean, the way that Heather turns this whole thing around into some victim monologue and she's so victimized and she's crying in the late, Whitney's sitting on her lap and

the ladies are all, I mean it is such a load of bullshit and I'm so proud of her for pulling that off. I mean, she pulled it off. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending, but the worst part is, if they step out of line or fall in love with the wrong person, it changes the course of history. I'm Aresha Skidmore-Williams.

And I'm Brooke Sifron. We've been telling the stories of history. I'm Aresha Skidmore-Williams. And I'm Brooke Sifron. We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit, wonder-y show, Even the Rich. And talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and Daily, we're going all over the world on our new show, Even the Royals. We'll be diving headfirst into the lives of the world's kings, queens, and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout history.

Think succession meets the crown meets real life. We're going to pull back the gilded curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else. Like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow Even The Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Even The Royals early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. That's what you have to do. I feel like we've seen people claw their way out of bigger holes than what Monica was in. And Monica's in a big hole, but she just keeps on digging it. And that's, you know, so that's why when Lisa Barlow says, you got to be smarter when you

argue, it is true. Now that being said, Lisa Barlow could also be smarter when she argues too. So, you know. Lisa Barlow has the advantage. When you argue on these shows, you have to be smart or you have to be funny. And Lisa Barlow is so funny. She's not smart. Her arguments are terrible. She makes herself look

like a complete moron every single time. Like Lisa Barlow, I don't think has ever won an argument on this show by being smart. She's just so funny that you like, okay, I mean, the fact that she tries to make every single sentence about herself, even when it's terrible, you know, yes, but what about me? I'm more Mormon than anybody. I'm the most Mormon. I'm the most Smithia Smithia's of all Joseph's on this stage Yamaha said it

So anyway, she's like you gotta be smart when you are Joe and my cousin I can say what I want And Lisa's like well, you're not really good at arguing So then Whitney chimes in, wait, can we give credit to Meredith that she shook that butter the whole time? Ha ha. And Lisa's like, yeah, she actually made butter, marlott by butter. And Heather's like, yeah, she made it

and she presented it to restaurants. And then we see a little clip of, I'm assuming it's Brooks taking a video of a phone video of his mom being like All the way there I'm recording it I would like you to take this baller and present it because of this father that I mean Is that possible to serve this hand churned butter and then I personally churned? And is it further possible to put it on a spoon

but say the spoon is an airplane and it has to come into the hanger on my toddler, Brooksy? Whoa, did it melt, Meredith? Did it melt? It's like, the butter? No, it didn't melt. Know your face when they warmed it to butter. Sorry, everybody, people have been asking.

People are crazy, all of you. Wow, wow, those are real rude questions about Meredith's face. Butter face. It's butter face, a new meaning. I have a side note here. As crazy as the set is behind me, the faces in front of me are even crazier

Okay, I'm Andy Cohen welcome to part three of the reunion Hey, who just threw this ball of blaret my face Well, what are we playing horseshoe somebody just got another five dollar necklace around Whitney's on Whitney's Mac Hey necklace around Whitney's, Whitney's neck. That was amazing. Hey, this is a question for Whitney. It's from the entire crew of this reunion. What did you do with our shoelaces? Monica, why did you take it so personally when Lisa kicked you off her pioneer wagon? Oh, okay.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Why did you take it person when she said, the reason why I kicked this person off the wagon is because she's not nice to other women and she's one of the worst people I've ever met in my life? And she goes, did you expect me to keep you on it? And Monica says,

I didn't expect you to keep me on it. It was your mom allowed the bullshit that I didn't like, girl. What, that you don't support other women because you don't? Um, I was just asking, asking another question, and I was just answering the question I was asked. All right, hey Lisa, when was the last time you did your own makeup? Hold on.

Ha! Ha! Ha! I think it was like 2019. Ha! And so she says that she has her makeup, I just said and so. Ah. I think it was like 2019. Ah. And so she says that she has her makeup. I just said Anso. You see, I need a little shock.

You're allowed to say Anso is a transitional thing. Guys, I'm just trying. You're linking to- Okay, I'm trying. I'm just seeing. By the way, who made Ronnie self-conscious about this? Who did this? Shame on you.

No, nobody did. I just, I need a little rubber band like when you're quitting smoking. By the way, that doesn't work. When you have the rubber band and you keep hitting yourself, you just become addicted to the getting hit on the wrist, you know, the slap of the rubber band. I missed that.

One shot smoking. There's just like a rubber band in my fist some more. Anyway, wrist some more. God damn it. I'm not gonna say, oh, and I'm not gonna say so. Excuse me, Wayne, and I'm not gonna say so. Excuse me, waiter. Do you have any, do you mind serving me this butter that I hand turned with the assistance of a rubber band?

Thank you. Could you please cut my friend off? He doesn't need to be served anymore. Ams or cells or ams. Thank you. So, Lisa. Here's yeah, here's what I was going to say. I get glum, okay? I get glum every day, every day, every day I have glum.

Glum and go. That's what we call it, glum and go. She's just there once a day, glum and go. And I'll have it till I die. By the way, Mary's there. Mary is like, Lisa, you do know that it's an insecurity, right? Lisa's like, no, no, it's not an insecurity. It's what I like, which is for no one to see my actual face in its natural state

ever for the rest of my life. It's not an insecurity. Mary, you special order Chanel toilet seats. Like, could we please not have lectures on insecurity from you? Mary, your house is furnished by the actual Lorax. So, could we not talk about... Can we not talk about insecurities? But also, she can't see. Here's something people don't know about Lisa Barlow. She cannot see like a Greek person can see girl.

Lisa, how many togas am I holding up in front of you? So Lisa is like, oh yeah, yeah, by the way, I can't see. I actually can't see anymore. That's a new thing for me. Yeah, I can't say. So Mary's like, it's not normal. Like, what does that have to do with a makeup artist? And then just like, no, she needs a makeup artist because she can't see. She puts the mascara on her lips and the lipstick on her forehead. It is a terrible situation for her. I mean, half the time I go out looking like Heather goes out looking on purpose. Hey, we're supposed to be friends on this reunion.

Sorry, Hatar. So Monica, how long have you been practicing your Lisa Barlow impression? You nailed it since day one. What a good one. Do it for us. Do it for us. She's been practicing it since season one, Andy.

Since season one, she's a fan, Andy. Monica's like, shut up, old Yeller. Okay, you are seriously so obsessed with thinking that I'm obsessed with you. Your voice is so easy to do. Oh my God, it's like over here, Monica, Monica. It's like, oh, literally like a low voice and then you just draw your A's out and go.

And Lisa's like, well, I like my voice too. So, and he was like, speaking of impressions, Meredith, you shut off your Whitney impression. Can you give me a little bit of it? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. You said you wanted some of my hand-turned butter. Okay, well, first let me hand it to you, then you hand it back to me.

But when you hand it back to me, it's like you're serving me. What was the question around here? Do I'm the person of Whitney? It's like, all right, here's my impression of Whitney. Hi, hi, I'm Whitney and I'm talk like that. Whitney's like that. I do not talk like that. Yeah, you know, that's me. I'm ch bonner, just imagine instead of holding bonner, it's your husband's limboiner after going on a blood pressure medication.

Hey. That was too close to home. And then Mary chimes and she's like, I'm going to do it too. I'm going to do it. Hey, it's so easy. Meredith, Meredith, Meredith. I'm Whitney. I'm Whitney.

I'm Whitney. I'm Whitney. I'm Whitney, I'm Whitney. Oh, I'm Whitney, I'm Whitney, I'm Whitney. Ah, what are you doing too? I'm Whitney, I'm Whitney. The Bravo guy's like, Hi, just wanted to say it's coming up this Tuesday. I'm Whitney, I'm Bravo. I'm Whitney baby, I'm Whitney. All right, Jennifer Aida doing her, I'm Whitney baby, I'm Whitney. All right, Jennifer Aida doing her Whitney.

But Auntie actually can do a good Whitney. Oh no, she can do a good Mary. She could marry her. Yeah, she does a good one. She does the wumos and the nasty little song, bleak. Well, Nick from Waddle says, Heather, Mary criticizing your necklace at Opera's ski was classless, but her body shaming comments on Watch What Happens Live about Gucci not

making size 14 worked disgusting. I am appalled. Have you just spoken since that? And Heather's like, we have spoken and she said she didn't mean it that way. And Mary's like, yeah, I was she said she didn't mean it that way. And Mary's like, yeah, I was not body shaming at all. I mean, that didn't even come to my mind. I mean, usually most things don't come to my mind, to be honest.

And I have no reason to do that. I think she looks really good, especially today. I mean, look at that. C-Size 14 can work out. And I guess she shamed me because she looks great. Um, you're such a fucking liar. Yes, you were body shaming her. And why is everybody

kissing Mary's ass all the time? Why? I think at this point, everybody thinks Mary's mentally ill and they're just like, it's like that. I think that is it. It's that Kelly Benson on thing in Scary Island, where they just all agreed. She's obviously off her rocker. And by going at her, we're going after somebody who's got an issue because they really do treat her. I mean, even their tones of voice. Heather's like, she didn't mean it that way. Did you marry? No, no, what?

Body shaming? No, never. I would just call her fat and imbred. That's not body shaming. Come on. I think they all recognize the value that Mary brings to the show these days and they also realized that like,

it's kind of punching down to like, come for Mary a little bit. So they just sort of let Mary be and they get it. And they just realized that just Mary being Mary. Yeah, I guess so. So Mary, you give a lot of comedic relief. What's your future with the group? Do you want to be part of the group?

Well, I'm just gonna be me. And if people are gonna be willing to open up and accept me, I would. But if it's still pushing out, if there's still a push out, I mean, Whitney still acts like, I mean, she's terrified of me, which, I mean, she's always got something to say.

So there's that. And she's like, well, I was scared in the beginning of disappointing you so the fear you're feeling it isn't a few it's a feeling of what you will do to me if I ever upset you okay also known as fear of fear I'm not afraid of sharks I'm just afraid of going in the water and getting eaten by a shark I'm afraid of what sharks. I'm just afraid of going in the water and getting eaten by a shark I'm afraid of what sharks will do to me after I disappoint them So she's like Merit like but why because of whatever comes out of your mouth after well, I think what comes out of her mouth is

Mary right so Mary's like what do you mean? She's like, I mean if you knew me, I mean Meredith Are you afraid of me? Right. So Mary, so Mary's like, what do you mean? She's like, I mean, if you knew me, I mean, Meredith, are you afraid of me? Meredith is like, no. And Mary and I, maybe not on camera, but we have had words specifically around the topic of butter. And you know what? We navigated it and it's done in two seconds flat,

just sort of like as much time as it requires to soften the butter and the microwave and it's fine And so maybe I can give you guys some lessons. I'm how to navigate Hopefully they'll teach you to navigate Mary better than my driver navigated a raintrover into a snowbank So Andy says okay, I'm bored by Mary. Done enough nothing here today, you can go. And she goes, Andy, that was so good. Bye.

So they all go off on break because they were about to hit Bermuda. And so they were on break. And just Monica and Andy sitting at the set alone, like just this big empty set. So Andy's like, well, this season, the ladies had their first in a match. This was crazy.

Don't you think that's crazy that Monica just stayed there to sit next to Andy? It's like she was expecting some kind of conversation. I think she's disappointed that she didn't get her one-on-one. Cause you know, whenever there's a giant scandal on Bravo, they try and do the, and then Andy sits down one online with reality vanties.

So she just kind of sits there waiting to be asked something and he does the slump in the chair and looks on his phone. He's like, you hear the like growls like, oh, a new bear has agreed to top you. Ding! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!

Brrr! Grindr. So, well this season the ladies had their first international vacation so we issue a formal apology to Southwest Airlines because we had to close out our loyalty program with them. But mysterious messages and mafia allegations quickly turned this girl's trip into a who'd done it, or in this case, who de-empted? Ha! And the most shocking mystery of all,

and still is, who is the real Monica? Ha! So we see all those clips and Heather's big monologue at the end. I have your entire formula, receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots. Can we start over again? Whitney, I'm in the middle of a line.

Sorry, I was just really stressed when I was a lot to remember one time, even watching it. Just too many items for Whitney's memory, her short-term memory. She can't even watch somebody else trying to remember. I'm sorry I interrupted you, but what I meant to say was, I don't know if you noticed that, like, we've seen the clip of Heather saying, receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots. We've seen it so many times.

So it was funny to me that this time when Brava showed it, did you notice they re-edited it? They inserted Lisa into it. So it goes,ipts proof time one. What? Three shots. Did you see that? What?

This is the remix that you guys are going to get on this one. Wow. So she yells at her and the black eye thing, blah, blah, blah. So dong, we come back. And Whitney's like, wow, that was a good dong. Good job. Who's playing the dong? Monica, we've not heard your side of the story.

You've been accused of being a troll account that has come after everyone in this room. Are you or are you not? Reality Vonties. She's like, no, I am part of the page. Yes. And but I did not set up the account and I did not name the counter. Open the account, which is funny, because later on she's like, the reason why we

started this account and named it this way is because of this one. We. So here's what we decided when we decided to open up the account. And this goes back to the start of this recap. You've got to be better. I mean, you're just... It's not being a liar. No one's surprised that you're a liar.

I mean, you're on a reality show, but you're a bad liar. You're just so bad at it. Like, you need to think about your plans. You need to plan your plans. You're playing your lies, girl. You can just come on here, badly lying. She's terrible. So she says... And also don't be like... Oh, go ahead. can't just come on here, badly lying. She's terrible. So she says.

And also don't be like, oh, go ahead. I was just going to say, and also like, it feels like sometimes Monica is just like, open book. She just is super honest about things. But then she lies about other things that it's like, why don't just, why did you lie about that thing? You didn't have to lie about that thing. Just be honest about all this shit because it'll work out.

Because it's compulsive. It's very jacks from Vanderpump Rules, where he's just lying about shit that you know it's a lie. And it's easily provable that it's a lie. Why are you lying about it? And then he just forgets what he says. And then two minutes later, he contradicts himself. And when they call him out on it, he's like, no, I didn't.

Hmm. Ha ha ha ha. Commercials, here comes't. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I started in 2021. So that the show was on the air and you were working for Jen? No. Okay, so you had already given evidence against Jen at that time? Um, I don't know that I had given evidence yet. You don't know.

You don't remember whether or not you were interviewed about Jen? And then he's like, okay, well, you'd given your statement, you're really making me tease out the part that I'm not even interested in yet. She's like, yes. She's like, okay, well you'd give me your statement. You really make me tease out the part that I'm not even interested in Yeah, she's like, yes She's like, okay. Well, what was the original point of reality Vontee's like was it to get back a Jen? And she's like it was to expose Jen

It was to expose the hurt of how she was treating her employees and that's what it was girl And Andy is like so then he started including things about the other housewives of Salt Lake City. You know what I don't feel like the page was made for talking to shenanigans ladies. Like, I honestly feel like that page like did not come for like any of them guys. Well, and there's where you already know it's another lie because I feel like, you know, I feel like it didn't. And I feel like it didn't do that. Well, it's not about feelings. It's literally about facts of what the thing was, lady.

Come on. Yeah. So then he asks, he says, Heather, do you guys have documentation about things that were posted on this account? And she says, that physically hurt me? Yes, absolutely. They're still up, Andy.

So then we see a bunch of this stuff we've seen before, which are. Now, this is where Heather, this just goes to show a pro because Heather takes a bunch of bullshit and then spins it into something that's not when she's already got good stuff. She's already got the stuff. She explains a little bit in this YouTube interview. I want to play people in a second and you, because we haven't played it for you either.

But she spins it into this bullshit. You know, even seeing screenshots of this text, or this post on the TV screen, we can see that she's clearly reposting something that Jen wrote her in DMs about Heather, right? Jen calls Heather the T-word. Yeah, she calls her the T-Separate. Right.

And there's like trigger warnings all over it. And Heather is saying, yeah, I mean, she's up there, she's up there calling me this, she's up there calling me that. And Monica says, what are you talking about? Jen's the one who said that. And she goes, yeah, but they're up there right now. You posted it multiple times. She goes, I didn't post that one. And but see Monica's

getting trapped in the little things. I didn't post that. You may not have pressed posts, but that's your account. You've seen them. Yeah. Yeah. Don't. Yeah, you're like, don't like just say like we did post that. You say, look, honestly, we posted that because we wanted to show what a shitty friend Jen was. I didn't really consider that just by having that up, it was just perpetuating hurt for you. Like she, that's like, that's really all she had to say.

Like honestly, like I wasn't, I didn't even realize that. And you know what, if I had, if I could have taken it back, I thought I was being actually, I was exposing, I was exposing how you were being treated poorly But I didn't realize I was just perpetuating it but essentially I'm So that's yeah, I didn't post that one You can't you can't prove that I posted that particular post when all she real right all she needed to say was my point Was that Jen was horrible and she does say it I mean she does say like like, we were sticking up for you

and you're defense girl. But then Heather's like, but you know what? Like I can pull up 10 other examples of every time you posted it. So I'm just like, okay, well show me how this works. She goes, what works? The internet, Andy. Hey, whoa, up limits.

Explain the boasting and the tagging. I can't tell what's been generated by this page and what's been reposted. And Lisa says, what's the difference? Well, I mean, there's a huge difference, I think, between someone actually coming up with the stuff to bully you and then someone reposting and claiming, you know, calling someone else out for bullying you, I think that there's a difference. Unless they repost stuff that is going to continue.

But either way. So it's not great think that there's a unless they repost stuff that is going to continue bull either way. So great, but there is a difference. Yeah, so then they they're going to go to reality banties and hand-gassing like he's never been there or checked it out at all. He's like, wait a minute. How do I look at this reality? Von tees to was that the one girl? Come on. You haven't got the reality vonties I know you've got a lot going on over there but come on Heather's like yeah because the

first one got shut down for cyberbullying and Monica's that's not why I got pulled down well no what did it get pulled down for then like what why else does it get pulled at like like honestly the, the reasons why a page gets pulled down from Instagram are actually could get so much worse. So to be like, no, uh-uh, we didn't get pulled down for bullying someone. We got pulled down because we were racist. I mean, like, what do you want? Just take it.

Well, she never answers, you know, she never answers. She goes, okay, then why? Because of the cease and desist from Jen and Sharif's attorney. No, we didn't care about that because we knew we had facts. No, it never answers she goes okay, then why because of the cease and desist from Jen and Sharif's attorney No, we didn't care about that because we knew we had facts. No, it's not facts and she says well She called you all those things. I didn't I did not call her you know I did not call Heather that we need to make that very clear And she goes yeah, but you know it's posted and it's on Instagram and she goes yeah But we're posting Jen saying it. We weren't actually saying it.

And Heather says, well, thank you for being the courier of horrible lies and shit about me and putting it out there and taking every single bravo account in the universe. And Monica goes, you're welcome. So Heather goes, and she's like, yeah, you're putting it out there. She's just, well, it wasn't a lie, girl.

It was Jen calling you an awful game and we were trying to expose abuse if she was you. Do you understand that? And Heather's like, you are not a hero in lie, girl. It was Jen calling you an awful game. And we were trying to expose abuse if she was you. Do you understand that? And Heather's like, you are not a hero in this, Monica. And she's like, well, I'm fine being the villain of my story, Heather, because you're the clown in mine. Ugh!

Yeah, but you infiltrated the clown college to get to be a part of this circus. So that just doesn't really work. That's a good point. You know? Now, here's something interesting, because this was a point where I just didn't understand what Heather was saying. I'm like, well, I think they're coming too hard for Monica for posting stuff that Jen

did, you know, and so far they haven't really shown us that much evidence of what Monica did. So Variety was pretty classy, actually. If I do say so myself, did an article this week about Salt Lake City. And they also did a video interview, I guess that the article is based off of where they're talking to the producers

and they're talking to Heather and Andy and they're interviewing them like this is one of the greatest all time cinematic scenes in our century and they're all talking about it with such a gravita. You know, it's like, and then that's when I realized we had a scene here and I took this to the ladies and as I got ready for makeup,

I really went over what I was gonna say and tried to plan how best would it land. I mean, it really is. If you guys haven't seen it, go to YouTube and just Google Variety, Andy Cohen, and Heather Gay Breakdown, RHO, SLC finale. Yeah, this is written by Meredith Warner and Kate Arthur. And Kate Arthur does amazing reporting

on Bravo for Variety. So I highly recommend reading any one of her articles anytime they come out because they're just always great. I love this isn't the article. I mean, this isn't the articles. Great. Go read that. But this is the YouTube video of it of all these interviews where they're at. They're all acting like they're on the actor studio. So I'm going to just play a minute. This is starting at 1524. And this is of Heather kind of explaining what pissed them off about the account, and this is of Heather kind of explaining what pissed them off about the account, even though it wasn't specifically bullying them.

Hurtful things that reality Von Teese said about me and said about all of us, but they were really just base insults, like calling me the Teesler, calling me Shrek, calling me Manatee, making fun of my house, making fun of my outfits, making fun of my house, making fun of my outfits, making fun of my appearance, making fun of my friendships. It would track my every move.

If I unfollowed someone, she would announce an honorable pet page. She would announce if my followers were going up. She just kept constant, relentless track of every aspect of our lives. And it was really, it wasn't just the level of hurt from the insults. It was the relentless, obsessive pursuit to stay on our radar and then to meet us and pretend that she's meeting us for the first time, that she doesn't know my kid's name, she doesn't know their age,

she doesn't know what car I drive, she doesn't know where I live. Those were all lies. It was the deception. She'd been amongst us for that entire time and never revealed that she knew everything about us. It was really the constant deception and the relentless obsession.

She had. I mean, that's, she makes a strong case. That is creepy as fuck. That is creepy as fuck. It's not just that she's reposting stuff that Jen's saying, it's that she's posting it day after day after day after day after day. Every day posting to everybody making sure everybody picks it up making sure it's run all over the as many places as she can you

know and it's yeah and it's it's it's creepy okay it is and actually like you can still like Monica and say that some creepy shit behavior right there yeah and like somewhere in this segment here we'll probably get up up to it, but sort of jumping the gun here. Heather pulls up her DM, and you know, like if someone tags you in a story and the story expires, you no longer see it in your messages, but you still see someone tagging a story. And Heather just has like a long list of reality of aunties tagged you, tagged you, tagged you, tagged you, tagged you. So to be constantly tagged by the same account, and that account is like, yeah, like, Oh, Heather dropped this person, Heather did this, Heather did that, you know, like, I can see how that would be like, Oh my God, shut up. I'm surprised Heather didn't

block reality vanties. And by the way, good thing she didn't because she was able to have pulled up the receipts of just how many times she was tagged by this account. Crazy. So, okay, so back to this. account. Crazy. So okay, so back to this. Let's see. So yeah, so she gets her burn out, you know. You're the clown in my story. So Andy says, okay, I found something. So we see the on-screen post of, it says, repost of a reposted Insta story. And it's a Heather Gay tweet and it says, DMX rapper who blended menace with sincerity has died at 50 years old Rolling Stone. And then we see Heather's profile

and there's a poll that Reality Teesh puts over it. And it says, vote, she would never and let me see it. And then it says, I just got my hands on a good video of her saying some racist as shit and Then this is a DM they're showing and it says y'all's grandma is still pretending She can get black D still looking still looking for a brother to actually say yes to this which I guess is Jen DMing

Monica all this. I mean, it's just Yeah Either way, it's like just stuff like coming up and coming up. And so Monica is like, well, I didn't say that. And Lisa is like, yes, you're done. You're done. You're done. You're done. And Monica is like, that doesn't mean I wrote it. And Lisa is like, but you posted it. And Monica is like, this doesn't even sound like me.

This sounds like Jen. So what is that? By the way, she's reading the actual tweet that was being commented on by Rolling Stone and saying, well, that doesn't sound like because she starts reading it DMX rapper who blended that doesn't even sound like me. Well, we know you're not being accused of being Rolling Stone. Hey, I'm more hurt by the text messages exchanged between her and Denisha. And Monica, no one listens to basically what Monica is like. Yeah, that's sorry. It sounds like Jen. This is like Jen and Heather goes, but you were posted

that over and over and over and over again horrible. And he's like reality bump tease. And Monica's like, girl, if this were you like if that was like our stories, it'd be like in our highlights. So I guess as Monica saying this wasn't even a story? Well, we're supposed to store highlights. Stories don't automatically go to highlights. Do they? You have to pick no, I don't know. This argument's a little silly. So she says if they are in our stories, they would be in our highlights and Heather, because she's asked to see the proof. Monica's asked to see the phone and she's like, you know, if this was in there, there would have been on our highlights. And Heather's like, no, because you didn't save all your highlights

and you also cleaned this up for the past year and a half. So there's stuff missing. And he says, does anybody have DMs from Reality Vontis? And Least is like, we would just tag there every day to a level you can't even expect. And so Monica's like, Monica says by the way, that like, oh, yeah, we tagged them all the time because we wanted you guys

to see, we want you guys to see this. Which is its own kind of thirstiness to by the way. And so Andy is like, all right, well, I will say this, reality banties, I'm looking at Heather's phone, this is like hundreds and hundreds of tags. Wow. And Heather's like, yeah, for three years. And Monica goes, it wasn't three years.

It was just during 2021. It's like, even if it was just one year, that's not good. That's even more concentrated, a period of time for all these tags. So Lisa goes, well, we can see when they get started, we can see it here. Monica says, do you want me to tell you the exact date? And Heather says, it was March 2nd.

And why give her a platform? Let's not even give her a platform, Andy. This is just so ridiculous. She's a bully and a troll. And so Monica is reaching behind the couch to get a prop. And she goes, oh, you're saying I don't deserve a platform? If daddy's gross. Who's gross, Monica?

You're going to make it like all bullies deserve a platform. I know. And if you say something against bullies, you're a horrible, horrible person. Come on. So she pulls out. Police deserve a chance, too. So she pulls out her burn book, which

we saw in all the previews. And everyone's like, uh, Heather's like, oh, Andy, god. And everyone's like, uh, Andy Heather's like, oh, Andy, God, at least like, Oh God, I went through this for three years. You think I want to see a burn book? You know what I want to see? A makeup artist glimps till I die. And some Monica's like, yeah, it's a burn book. So they're all just like groaning because I think people are just over burn books on Bravo right now. I think it's sort of like a peach with Monique's folder on Potomac and after that like there's no need to go back there because Monique did it so well There's just we don't need another one. We don't we never need another one It's also just it's been so done

Also, it's the same week that mean girls comes out and you've got the mean girls prop And it's just like, is this a weird brought tie in? Like, are they purposely doing this tie in because that's just too much of a weird coincidence. Also, Mean Girls is like over and if you're going to do a burn book the same week in the musical of Mean Girls comes out, you need to give me like a bad shitty musical version of this burn book. Like, I need to hear like, you know. To cheese-stank me. Music that you'll never remember. She's a skanky hoe, she's a stupid skank.

Like I need something, I need more from you, is what I'm saying. But also like pulling out like a burn book or a binder is great if you're having a shady fight. But this is actually like a real fight where these women are like genuinely rattled by this entire thing and you're gonna to pull out this prop that's funny. No one wants prop comedy right now.

So she pulls this out and they all don't want to do this. And Andy is like, so this burn book, is this the worst of what you did? And furthermore, did Linda help you make this? Did she make this? Did she help? You know, Linda's on the side, and I'm like, Monika, turn to page four. I put a surprise in there. Go look at it, Monika.

Come on, Monika. This is your job. You're an actress right now, Monika. Well, look, a lot has been said about Monika. Monika's a mother just because there's been video released of her screaming at her mother with the kids there, and it's just so toxic, and that she does that in front of the kids.

A lot of people have had stuff to say about that. There's been stuff said about Monica, just like, is she a good housewife or is she terrible? A lot of said about the, I wanna just stop and just compliment Monica because A, the crafting here is good. It's good craft work. I love crafts.

It is. I think it looks just like the burn book. And I want to say to the people who are saying that Monica is probably not a good mother, she's a good enough mother to have craft night with her children. Because I could just imagine all four of those kids sitting around and making this. Because it's well done. And listen, I'd say if you're gonna take a bunch of bitches down, do it with your whole family. So. It's so funny. I was totally thinking that too. I was like, I bet she did this with her daughters. So Andy's like, OK, let's see what's in here.

OK. Hey, that's me. What am I doing in here? That's strange. It was just like Andy. This is like a picture of Andy being like, hey, he's got like a devil and an angel on his shoulders and it says he fucked the other half of New York or something. Right.

You know, making jokes about Meredith's, or at least his quote from last season or whenever it was two seasons ago. So then Heather is going, oh my god, that is terrible. I mean, it says he fucked the other half of New York. Andy, how could you? And trying to make it this big thing, even though it's supposed to be humorous. And Monica says, it's a burn bug, it's supposed to be funny, you don't have to take it

so serious, girl. But this girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. Don't trust her. She's a fucking slut. How could you? How could you write that stuff about somebody? And the picture is of Monica. It's like, come on, it's a direct lift from Mean Girls.

Don't add being humorless on top of all this. Yeah. She's like, I'm doing it to myself, girl. God, relax. So then, and then we see a picture of, like, Lisa Barlow in high school. There's that picture of Lisa Barlow in high school that makes its rounds every now and then. And then she wrote down Lysa Barf flow and it says Lisa Lee is a materialistic little biatch. And Lisa's like, Oh my God, that's like the worst photo.

What's all Lisa can think about is that they're putting her yearbook photo out there. Yeah. Okay, Joe. Can we put Glam on that photo? Glam everyday. that they're putting her yearbook photo out there. Yeah. Okay, Joe. Can we put Climb on that photo? Climb every day. Climb every day. So, Andy's looking at this and he's like, in his mind, he's like, so this is just like, just jokes.

He's like, what's the purpose of this? Because he's like, it starts off as jokes, but then it's like, back here, it's like receipts. Like, what are we supposed to do with this right now? And she says, yeah, it started as a joke, but no wait guys wait guys cuz there's more it's like no This is already failed, you know part of it because they don't have a sense of humor But the other part because they don't they don't owe you a sense of humor at this moment And for you to come in here expecting a sense of humor from them is Cuckoo, it's but all. And it also isn't revealed. There's nothing new in it.

There's nothing that it's. It's just a bad prop. I mean, a bad prop. Yeah. It's not exposing anything. It's not like, aha, here's the real truth. It didn't make any sense. There's no reason, I don't understand why she needed it

because her account already is her burn book. So it just was, it was definitely a fail. So Andy's. I feel bad for her. I was reading for this. Listen, we've been seeing this burn book for weeks now. We've been very excited to see this burn book and to find out that it was just good gluing, good glitter work, good cutting and pasting,

bad, bad burn book flop. Yeah. So Andy's like, okay, so you were first trying, you were trying to expose Jen Shah, tell me how it's helpful blasting out into the world all these things about them that are horrible and how they're like Yeah, what if we retweeted everything your mom said about you every single day and I thought Monica was gonna lose her shit But she goes well, I see my mom already did that cell So now Lisa starts getting all mad

Oh, no, baby. So now Lisa starts getting all mad. Ha, ha, ha, ha, what are you talking about? Ha, ha, and Monica's like, I literally just said, I see how that hurts you, but like I'm telling you that, like, you know what, they're not even listening to me right now, and they go, brrr. Because it's hard to listen to you because you just keep spewing bullshit.

I mean, Heather says, how would you feel if we tweeted all your mom stuff? She goes, well, my mom already did that. Yeah, so you should understand how they feel. Do you see the point? Like, do you see where it's all supposed to be connecting in your brain here? And so she's like, well, they're not listening to me, which she's got a point. They're not. They do keep talking over you, but you just have such an endless flow of bullshit. And you also keep talking over everybody else. So you, you all lose points on that one, I say. Yeah, she goes, and she, Monica basically says, you know, we were trying to get out

how awful Jen Shah was, and I'm sorry that ended up hurting you. But I think the point is also it wasn't like they took some strays, like the account like went out of its way to like, you know, highlight different things about them and spread gossip, etc. It wasn't just like collateral damage. So here's where people keep saying online, she never even apologized, but she does right here. She says, we were just trying to get out how mean Jen is. And if I hurt you, I'm sorry, but that wasn't the intent.

So it wasn't the best apology, but she, it was approaching. I thought like, okay, here it comes. She's finally, she like, she was all mad, but now she's simmering down and now we're gonna get the tears and the, I got caught up in it, but nope, it doesn't happen. And Andy says, I gotta tell you something.

Okay, I'm gonna, this is the part of the reunion where I say you're full of shit, but I do it with a smile on my face so you don't see it coming. Okay, I gotta tell you something. I'm kind of amazed that you're so surprised that they're pissed off by this. Wow, you're really, you really are something else.

Which goes, yeah, I really am because they were like such big fans of the page. At least it's like, what? Who was the big fan of the page? You are a girl. And Heather goes, who? You called me a fuckface skank bitch when I unfollowed you. They're like, who? You called me a fuckface skank bitch when I unfollowed you. And Monica does, she reads one from Angie.

She says, here's a DM I got from Angie. I mean, she calls me Angie, doesn't have shit. I was gonna give her a ruthless response but my husband talked me out of it. And then when it was exposed on that page, it was the best fucking day of my life. And Angie just goes, yeah, and so what? Angie has the best defense because you can't say anything to that because we saw earlier,

like a few days ago, a few episodes ago that Angie had written like Actual Reality banties, so many things like, ha ha ha, funny, you go girl, hashtag hilarious, smiley emojis, laughy emojis. I mean, Angie was the biggest fan of this one And I she's Angie's fully caught and I just love the Angie goes so what? Is torturing your enemy online, you know, she's gonna love it So I don't blame her for loving and I think that that's actually really fun I think she would have really been caught if she had been caught giving information or something to reality bounties, you know? But just being a fan, you know, listen,

everyone has their fans. Yeah, that's being a fan is separate from like condoning mass deception in a group. So then, damn it, Monica, so Monica reads that. So Angie says, did you post, Andy says, did you post positive things about the women too? And we see positive posts now where it's like, oh my God, we love to see all the ladies be so happy together. Oh my God, we love seeing the ladies do charity. I mean,

Andy, we really tried to do nice things about them and support them as well. And Lisa just laughs and Monica gets really upset that she's being laughed at because this all sounded very reasonable in her head But it sounds right cuckoo just to say it out loud like yeah, we were really good to them too, Andy It was like yeah, it was one out of ten thousand. You're not a hero Yeah, based on the things that she wrote. She's not like any of us So like why do you want to be our friend like why do you want to be here with us? But it's not everything you wrote you You fucking, you fucking hated us. And Andy was like, do you want to be their friends

or do you want to be on the show? And she was like, um, I think that like, both can be true. And Andy was like, so you want to be your friend? Be their friend? Okay, just a hint. I know it's too late now, but you're supposed to be acting

like you're not just a fame hungry fan who slipped past everybody through the metal detector. You know what I'm saying? You're supposed to be acting like, no, I genuinely wanted some fellowship with other women and to support me in a rough time. And I wanted to be friends with them even more because I had stalked them and I realized, oh my God, I actually really like these people. There, I just saved your job. Do do do do, go back in time.

Do do do do. That's all she had, yep. So, Monika's like, you know, I genuinely feel bad. And Heather's like, I don't think you do, but that's fine. And she's like, well, what is wrong with me? Why didn't I sit on this couch? You don't think I belong here?

See, so she gets like all angry again. She's more upset about her right to be on the couch and beyond TV. And people questioning that, then like people questioning like how much she generally likes. She has to turn when she is losing, which she knows she is because she thinks she's making all these points and they're literally laughing in her face. And so she's backed into a corner. And so now she's going to victim stuff. Every time she gets backed into a corner, she turns she's going to victim stuff. Every time she goes back into a corner,

she turns into this huge victim like, how dare you? What's wrong with me wanting to sit on this couch? Someone like me, you don't think I belong here? What's wrong with me? You're not the one being fucking bullied, lady. You don't get to just like have a big cry fest over this right now.

Okay. The response should be, I know it's hard to believe, but I do, no it's true, I do generally care about you. Did I wanna be on the show? Yes, but ultimately what I'm realizing now is that as much as I love being on the show, you guys really were great friends to me. And I feel terrible about all this

because I got myself in a hole, it's like one of those movies and I didn't know how to get out of it. And now here I am and no one will ever believe me. But I know in my heart how much I really adore you guys. That's it. Or take a page from Rom-Com from the 80s where it's like you're dared to date the dork and then the dork falls for it.

But then you really fall for the dork. And the dork finds out that you were just doing it as a bet the whole time. It's like pretty in pink or whatever. And then you have to be like, no, but I really loved you. You have to give that speech. That's the speech that's required of you right now. I did come in here because I thought it was funny

and I was being your stalker or whatever. And my goal was not to be friends with you. It was just to get fame, but I learned being here that it's more than about just fame. This is true friendship. This is true fellowship. You guys taught me what real friends are.

Now I don't have to be a crazy fucking stalker. And then music would play. You're doing it all at the Hollywood Bowl. Boom, you just got five more seasons. You're a national hero, but unfortunately. Like, did you ever watch Tootsie? Look, Dustin Hoffman literally infiltrated Jessica Lang's life.

She shared with, she shared with Dustin Hoffman, deep personal secrets. When he, he was dressed vaguely likes, like very clearly still Dustin Hoffman, but in a wig, and she fell for it. And that was such an abuse of trust. And she still was like, I'm gonna go back to you. Like, you know what, spoiler. But Monica is doing it like Tootsie, you know what I mean? Do it like Tootsie. Jesus Christ, do it like Tootsie.

You should have, but you know the difference is that Tootsie, you know what? Tootsie came clean on live TV in front of Daphne Coleman. And Monica... You need that moment. You need that... Monica was outed. It was different. Yeah. You need that. Well, that's true. But she needed to take Tootsie's lead. Yeah. Okay. Guys, that was a... What a classic film. Great movie. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this.

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