Watch What Crappens - #2310 RHOBH Part One: Paella-ing Respects

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

*This is part one of a two-part recap* The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (S13E14) are still in Spain. Crystal has a blood pressure freakout, Erika gets snockered after a day of praying, an...d Sutton throws a dinner party with her dead dance teacher. To watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Southern Hospitality bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab both live and streaming tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 17 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. What's what? Crap is what? What's what? Crap is what? Crap is what?
Starting point is 00:00:32 Crap is what? Crap is what? Crap is what? Crap is what? Well hello everybody and welcome to What What Cppens, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about. On ye olde braves that's where. I'm Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:00:52 With me today is the gorgeous and talented and good hearted Ben Mandelker. Ben, hello, welcome to your show. Hi, hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, how are things up in Contona, New York? Oh my god, they're freezing cold. Freezing cold. I am here. My feet have been cold for about five straight days now. I'm really looking forward to just some place that's warmer for my feet.
Starting point is 00:01:15 But other than that, it's been really wonderful. It's great to be home. Great to see my parents. Great to be chilling, putting donuts, you know, cold brew, even though I'm freezing. I still drink my cold brew. I don't care. And, you know, cold brew. Even though I'm freezing, I still drink my cold brew. I don't care. And, you know, all is good. What's going on with you?
Starting point is 00:01:29 Good. Nothing, I just feel like a really strong person because I went to the Botox lady today and I was supposed to get a micro-needling. I feel like this is my safe space because it's Beverly Hills Day and, you know, rubber face. So, feel safe. And I actually said, you know what?
Starting point is 00:01:46 I'm going to skip the micro needling today because I feel like my skin is too thin. Wow. I feel like I have tissue paper for skin. And I think I'm officially going to step back for a little while. And they were like, oh, is it something we did? And I was like, no, it's something you're doing too much of.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Oh, wow. It's really difficult when you're suddenly gorgeous. Let me tell you, you can't just start walking into home goods just suddenly being gorgeous. It's too much too soon. So I said, lady, back the fuck off. And she said, you know what? So we're not doing the Botox?
Starting point is 00:02:18 I said, no, get your ass back in, you're with the Botox. Okay, everything else you were gonna shoot me up with, shoot me up with that, okay? But, you know, the face, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with my own facial oils for a while. What do you think of that? Wow, well, your skin looks resplendent as usual. And I mean, I'm surprised there has not already been
Starting point is 00:02:37 a spin-off Facebook group dedicated to your, your skin and your face at this point. Skin journey. Because it is a, it is a popular topic of conversation on social media and in all our comments. So you're doing great work, the people love it. They love your face. And you know, I'm sure there's someone out there
Starting point is 00:02:56 that likes my face too, I don't know. They love your face. They're just used to you being gorgeous darling. It's nothing new, man. No, I do nothing for my face, so I don't know why I would ever expect any sort of compliment about my face, because you actually take care of your face.
Starting point is 00:03:11 I don't. So I would not expect anything until I actually start putting some of it. Well, you've already been the hot one. It's like Gigi, it's like Gigi Hadid suddenly expecting a compliment. Like you've been a super model. No, definitely not. It's like Gigi Hadid suddenly expecting a compliment. Like you've been a super model. No.
Starting point is 00:03:25 I'm just guessing. I'm done. All right. So this isn't about how gorgeous we are. You're very gorgeous. I just, that's what I did today. You know what? We're here to share our lives.
Starting point is 00:03:35 No, just kidding. We're here to trash other peoples. But guess what? We do have coming up in our real life. The crappy awards, the golden crappy awards. We're so excited. February 17th Los Angeles Angeles live show huge theater Huge people huge show huge times coming up. You can come see us live. We would love that
Starting point is 00:03:52 You can also watch us online on the internet Get your live streaming tickets for that now right now God damn it and we'll be doing that as well. That's a fun party online everybody goes in there trash talks and stuff for the whole show. And you can watch that for up to a week after the show. So do that. We're also on video today. Hi.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Hi. Get these videos the day they're released over on our Patreon, which is also where you get our bonus episodes. This week is a recap of Southern Hospital. And also you can get the videos for free over on YouTube a week after they've been released. But if you want them fresh, listen, you know, we're not trying to gout you. We're still giving shit away for free over here.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Okay. But if you do want to give us money, you get quicker recaps on video and look what you're getting. All of that. Um, anything else you want to talk about before we dive into this very religious day of recapping? We've got this and we've got Miami, both of which had large chunks take place in chapels. Big church energy on Bravo for Wednesday night. But only one of them featured a furious dog fight, an actual dog fight,
Starting point is 00:05:07 a legitimate fight about dogs. So, but you're going to have to wait till the Miami recap for that because that was amazing. This is not the wait for us to talk about throwing chicken breasts in the water as if dogs are fish. Um, for the next recap, that'll be coming up tomorrow. Yeah. Uh, you know what I will say about this episode?
Starting point is 00:05:28 Like I'm I'm starting to think like I'm liking Erica. Like she was cracking me up all episode long. I feel like Erica we've sort of we've been saying this all season, but I feel like she's arrived for me. Like she is now more on the like side of the diagram than the dislike side. The needle has moved for me. I think she is hilarious. I think that she is we're getting real Erica now, she doesn't, she truly doesn't give a fuck. And she's over people's bullshit. And she's cracking me up. I cannot believe it. Yeah, you know, when people are new on the show,
Starting point is 00:06:07 as an audience, we always have to give them at least a year or two, right? Because the seed is planted, the bitch flower blooms, year two, we all know that. And Erica, she's, you know, I'm not saying she's just now entertaining. I mean, Erica's been on the show a long time now and she's definitely had moments here and there and she's just had horrible moments.
Starting point is 00:06:27 And but this is the first year I feel like she's truly herself. She's just been, you know, the first few years she was her fake persona or whatever she was going for. And then she was her Rina persona, you know, those two together. And this is the first year that she's been completely ripped down, like they would say to a remodeled house. We took it down to the studs. I mean, she's been taken down to the studs and they've restarted Eric. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:54 She's just got that kind of rawness. I mean, she's still completely full of shit. I mean, she wouldn't be on the show if she wasn't. It's, that's a requirement to be on this show, but wasn't. That's a requirement to be on this show. But it's in such a much more fun way. I agree with you. Yeah. I'm long and short of it. I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. I also, I loved the dinner party on this episode. It was so funny how they brought in like, you know, the intelligentsia of Barcelona and all the real housewives had to sort of be on their best behavior. It's like, if you tell the real housewives, oh, Denise Richards is coming up with Camila Grammar, they're just gonna, you know, fight and
Starting point is 00:07:31 squabble and confront each other at the table. But if you say, Oh, like some esteemed architects are going to come over and an expatriate, they're like, ex-civilized. Yeah, people like Exiblas. Yeah. People like. Yeah. Which were they? I mean, I don't know. I another thing I have to say about this season, just as sort of a macro, not the most exciting season still, I think it's going to prove that you'd really do not have to be fighting and screaming and yelling and making up stupid arguments about dumb shit to make a good show. It shows, I think that this these shows really are more about, they're about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about more about show. It shows, I think that these shows really are more about more than just that, you know? Because I think the stereotype of these shows, and part of the reason we always say, oh, these shows are boring is because nothing's happening. A lot of times we even take that to mean,
Starting point is 00:08:19 like no one's fighting about anything, this sucks. No one's fighting about anything here, and it's fucking hilarious. I was dying laughing watching this show. So, so good. What a pleasure to just watch a bunch of crazy rich people or even crazy poor people just wanting to get rich again. You know? Yeah. However, however they're mixing it all together. I'm enjoying it. Yeah. I think it's actually a really good season. And also sudden. I also want to say I am just fascinated by Sun's life.
Starting point is 00:08:45 And this episode was really a lot about Sutton and her backstory. And like her life really plays out like it's a book, right? Like she was a dancer in New York in ballet and then she gets swept up by this like wealthy dude and she has just like this. She like even her gay best friend who she's reunited with in Spain, he is like exactly the gay best friend you would see in the movies. Like this did and it felt very Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Starting point is 00:09:13 It was just like Sutton is sort of her own movie, which is kind of amazing and I love that. You know, I think that's like my dream is seeing a like a lady, a middle-aged lady living a movie life. Yeah. Well, listen, they're the only things I still pay to go see. I'll tell you that much. This, though I actually didn't see, and this isn't middle-aged,
Starting point is 00:09:35 but I missed 80 for Grady. What's that? 80 for Brady. 80 for Brady. Sorry. I don't, I don't, I don't understand sports people or why we would put them in movie titles, but there you go. That's, I think that's why I didn't go see it. Cause those are like four legend ladies. And I was like, mm, Brady.
Starting point is 00:09:52 No. Yeah. Um, I love that cast. I didn't see it cause I just feel like I don't see a lot of movies that much anymore. That being said, they looked like they had a great premiere party. Wish we could have been there, uh, but we weren't invited. And so that's my little way of saying.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I'm glad I can look at every movie. I'm like, if I was the movie premieres, if you were literally not invited to any movie. I mean, is that really like, you know, I hear the flowers in the flower moon is pretty good. Unfortunately, Marty didn't invite us to that one. So they know I love that. That's the movie I decided to go after. I was like, no, we should get invited to movie careers. No, because they invited other podcasters
Starting point is 00:10:28 and bloggers and stuff. So I'm like, you know what, 80 for Brady? Welcome to our life. Yeah, I don't know why I got mad about that. You just like somehow triggered something in me where I felt like I didn't do like. We're not invited anywhere. It was like the 80 for Brady.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Let me tell you why we're not invited anywhere. Cause every time we are invited, we're like, oh my God, thank you so much. We go, we have a good time. We take the Tupperware out of our trunks and pack all of the food in it to take home. And then the next day, we talk shit about all the people. Okay, that's...
Starting point is 00:10:56 That might have something to do with it. Privately to each other in the Uber back, we don't shit on the attendees on our podcasts. We do. That's a fun event. I like Sally Field's ass now, but what's the point of going to 80 for Brady if you're not going to go rip Sally Field a new asshole? You know what I mean? You know the way I operate, you know how I come out of those parties being like,
Starting point is 00:11:28 oh my God, the way the way that Mary Elizabeth Mastri Antonio passed me that ketchup packet, she is so nice. She was so nice, guys. You do come out of them like that. And I like Mary Mastron Tonya. What a fucking asshole I've never seen anybody pass catch up so rudely like who who might you nobody? I can tell by the way. You just passed me that catch up Cameron man. I'm let me cut in front of her at the bar I was like she's so down to earth She's such a down to earth nice person. I really loved her down to earth. She's such a down earth nice person. I really loved her.
Starting point is 00:12:08 I'm like Cameron Mannheim. Wow. Haven't approved that personality since Boston legal, huh? Stabbed my fucking way Cameron. Okay, so as far as this show goes, Beverly Hills, which we're recapping today, Crystal has high blood pressure. Join the fucking club. Okay. I asked Siri why I had it and she said I ate too much salt. Well, you can go fuck you. You can put yourself in a van with Cameron Mannheim, Sally Fields, and Mary Elizabeth Mastantonio and drive right over the fucking cliff and that's what I have to say. I'm not giving up my pretzels for anybody. We are not putting Sally Field in that van. I'll tell you one thing.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Those other two? Fine. Sally Field is protected status. Did you know that high blood pressure is a silent killer? That's what they told me today at the Botox place. She's like, Ronnie, you need to take this more seriously. It's a silent killer. I was like, really? Because it's literally blamed for so many deaths. So, no, it doesn't seem so silent to me.
Starting point is 00:13:02 It seems like it's taking a lot of heat. I'm, I, I, my blood pressure's up and I'm like mad about it because I'm like, uh, I'm just mad about it. I'm like, stop that. I'm, you know, and I'm trying to eat lower, less, less salt, but there's just like salt everywhere. There's salt everywhere. I try to, I try to have like a low sodium thing, but every, there's salt everywhere. There's salt everywhere. I try to have like a low sodium thing, but there's salt everywhere. There's salt.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Salt. You know what else is everywhere? Peanut M&Ms, like you cannot get away. It's like you order a salad, there's peanut M&Ms as the croutons on the salad. Anywhere you go, you order a pizza, there's a side of peanut M&Ms. They're fucking everywhere.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I can't get away from them. Mostly because I keep buying them and pouring them all over things. I was gonna say Salt and cholesterol like you know what's fucked up? You try to go out and have something low cholesterol and then you you know you go the ice cream parlor and you're like all this ice cream It's high in cholesterol It's just like so fucked up that as I eat this ice cream like that it's so high in cholesterol
Starting point is 00:14:00 Like why does it have to be that way? Why can't they like not be this way? Oh, yeah. And then I go to the steakhouse and I'm like, this is fucked up. Why is everything so high cholesterol? I hate when they go to a go-go bar and there's just so many decks hitting my face. Horrible. Okay. So Crystal is on the side of the road because she too has high blood pressure. Okay. And Anne-Marie, the medic of the group is checking her out and doing things like saying, excuse my fingers.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Fuck you. What are you going to fart? I don't trust people. But I'll trust him. So Crystal's like, they feel like tingling. These are stroke, stroke like symptoms. So Crystal is like me. She's a hypochondriac and she has learned the symptoms of stroke, which, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:43 I feel like I've learned them at some point, but I always forget them, which I think in some ways is good because if I actually knew them, I would think I'm having a stroke literally every single day because I'm subject to a contract. Yeah, don't Google that. I cannot, I cannot learn about the symptoms to anything because then I automatically assume that I have it. Like it is so bad with me. So. I automatically assume that I have it. Like it is so bad with me. So.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Dude seriously, I've been walking around for three weeks like, oh my fucking esophagus. I swear to God. Oh my God. If I could just get a good stretch in my esophagus, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I think I have everything all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:18 But apparently I do have high blood pressure and high cholesterol, so I do have those things. Thanks, Crystal. Thanks for giving me that. So. Got bad at it since last night, that's for sure. So Doree, it's like she's gray. She's sweetie. Her hands are swollen Is it Halloween? Are you dressed like Piki? Oh, she's her hands are her hands are poppier than PK wearing a thumb finger
Starting point is 00:15:45 I was like, you know, you just described the love of your life, right? DeRito, are you reporting PK missing right now? Or are we talking about crystal being in a van waiting for an ambulance? Draco's the crystal. She says, you're supported. Everyone's here. Don't do not worry. It's like, I don't think she cares about having your support now, Dorit.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Her veins are popping out of her skin. I don't think like Dorit, Kemsley's support is really the, like a high priority for her right now. And nothing is going to make me run towards the light like Dorit standing by my side and her fake Chanel claiming that she supports me. Okay. Stay over there. So Ann Marie is like, oh, okay, guys, guys, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna lay down and you're gonna like, you're gonna relax, okay?
Starting point is 00:16:34 Because someone's gonna come here soon. Nailed it. I'm nailing it. I'm basically in an episode of ER right now. Because everyone for the rest of this episode is like, oh my God, Ann Marie was so amazing with Crystal. So she told her to lie down. What else do you tell people?
Starting point is 00:16:50 Well, it's funny because she goes, this is like not just like a lay down and drink some ginger ale situation. And then she's like, OK, so lay down. She literally did that. So then she kind of tell her, OK, you know what? You you feel like you're about to faint. Do some jumping jacks right now. Like, of course you're going to tell her to lay down. That's literally all you can do.
Starting point is 00:17:10 You're on the side of a road for Christ's sake. Crystal's like, I'm so sorry guys. And I'm just like, it's not a situation you need to feel sorry about. It's not like, I don't know, claiming that I said I was a doctor when I was a nurse. I mean, you could feel sorry about that, but not this. Don't feel sorry about this. And Jareed's like, crystal honey, when you're okay, we'll go sightseeing. We're all going to be here for you.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Except. Kyle, where did Kyle go? You know, Kyle's down at the Hermes store already. I could fuck about Crystal. So Ann Marie is like, yeah, I mean, like, given that Crystal is like repeatedly insulting and degrading my profession, which she never fucking dead. She called you a liar. Again, she did not insult nurses.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Okay. She insulted you in particular. Yeah. Don't make this, don't make this about nurses everywhere, ma'am. Yeah. She's the irony of what is happening right now is literally shocking. I give the amount of irony in this situation in 8.5 out of 10 and Emory is like she and then she says Chris was like lying there in the bed
Starting point is 00:18:11 I'm in the bands were freaking out and she goes okay, okay, everyone I don't I just I don't want her to get up and have like a Hypertensive crisis or something and then just like stroke out, you know, I'm like, could you'd like it's they on like the scary Stroke out, you know, I'm like, uh, could you like X-ray on like the, uh, scary, uh, diagnosis a what is she's like, I would don't say that. Crystal's already freaking out. Don't say that if she moves, she's going to have a hypertensive crisis and they have a stroke. Bedside manner.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Find it. Find it. Okay. Is there a bedside manner store anywhere we can go shopping it? Cause you need some. But also it's funny that she's saying, you know the irony of her needing me now in my medical professional capacity.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Oh my God, she's gonna die, she's gonna die. Her head's about to explode. Her head is about to pop off. Okay, here's what we get to do. I'm gonna hit her on the back. I'm gonna hit her on the back. Perfect, perfect. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Okay, Crystal, do not move an inch. Otherwise, your arms may literally fall off your body. I'm just telling you right now. And Carol's like, oh my god, don't talk like that. When she's having an episode and Emery's like, sorry, not that that would ever happen. Not that your head would ever pop off or you'd go knock on each suddenly and lose all your hair.
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Starting point is 00:20:59 Okay, the ambulance is coming. The ambulance is coming. So they come and they take her vitals and she does have high blood pressure. I'm kind of winning. Not that it's a race, but my entire. So I win. Woo-hoo, what did I win?
Starting point is 00:21:13 Hope it's some M&Ms with some salt on top. I don't know if I feel like I should laugh with long. I'm like, do I, do I yes and this? So, so Anne Marie is like. What can you do? Like it's not going to go down instantly. Long I'm like, do I do I yes and this so So Anne Marie is like what can you do like it's not gonna go down instantly. I'm taking the pills. Okay. That's good. That's good So so then Anne Marie By the way, I have to say Anne Marie's bedside manner is better than when I learned I had high blood pressure Because my blood pressure is always sort of like trend like a little high, like a little higher than when it should be, but nothing too crazy.
Starting point is 00:21:50 And then I went to the, I went to the dentist in November and my dentist, they just take your blood pressure. I guess, I don't know. I just think it's good. They do that. Yeah. Cause they can't give you the, the down the numbers. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Yeah. So then the dental hygienist goes, do you have high blood pressure? And I was like, yeah, I came run a little bit high. She goes, I mean, you're almost at like stage two hypertension. But she like lost her mind and it was like, it was high, but it was not like a disaster. So then of course, that made my blood pressure go grow even higher and by the time that they're like,
Starting point is 00:22:26 we'll test you again at the end of the session. And then it was like so high afterwards cause she was like, oh my God, everyone buckle up. He's about to blow. I was like, what was the freaking? It has since lowered, I'm proud to say. Yeah. Except as I said here drinking a
Starting point is 00:22:47 enormous Comic-bomb size Dunk of doughnuts cold brew just to make sure I get those numbers right back up again Well first off what kind of old ladies are we that this is literally how we podcast now? And furthermore we've sat here when I did try to go to the 80 for Brady premiere, they said, you can't come in with that blood pressure machine. I thought I was supposed to monitor my blood pressure during this movie. It could be. We started with Botox, then we moved into blood pressure, then we moved into 80 for Brady and black back into blood pressure.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Wow. We're really something. Hopefully we can get some Matlock references in here. Sure can. Watch out. Sure can. So Anne-Marie offers to go to the hospital with Crystal, but they're like,
Starting point is 00:23:35 sorry, you don't have the necessary passes. And she's like, how dare you degrade my profession? So they take her away. And none of that happened. I'm just lying, everybody. way, like it could be real. Also, I want to say one thing really quickly. Okay. I know there are gonna be some very well-meaning people
Starting point is 00:23:55 out there listening to this podcast. We're gonna hear this discussion and are gonna be very concerned for us. And they're going to send an email encouraging us to go to the doctor, et cetera, et cetera. And all I'm gonna say is like, us to go to the doctor, etc, etc. And all I'm going to say is like, I have been to the doctor, Ronnie's been to the doctor. And if you send an email, you'll probably just make us paranoid and nervous. So please don't email us. Our laughter comes from comes from utter fear. We know we're in trouble. Both of us know
Starting point is 00:24:20 we're in trouble. We are taking care of it. Don't worry. Ronnie and I obviously have talked about this before, but like we are taking care of it. So like just don't email us cause I know someone's gonna say, honestly, you guys have to get that checked out because five people in my family died from it. So I don't, No, we know, yeah, we don't send me that email. Yeah, we shouldn't be laughing about it,
Starting point is 00:24:37 but we are cause that's how we deal with pain. We're laughing at ourselves. Also I'm going to the doctor, Baylor Scott and White, I'm on my way, okay? Making an appointment. Okay, so. Making my way to the doctor. Baylor, Scott and White, I'm on my way. Okay. Making an appointment. Okay. So making my way to the doctor. Go on. Um, that's enough aging us right now.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Sutton's like, okay, we're going to let you go. Okay. So you can get treated. Then we can all make paya together, which apparently is good for blood pressure. I think is, is, is payaya a good thing for blood pressure? I'm not sure that it is. That's, that's a no, but when I'm on death's door, I'm not really worried about making it to your cooking class.
Starting point is 00:25:11 You know what I mean? Like that's something's like, don't worry, you're going to live and you're going to come to my cooking class. You're going to live and then tomorrow night we're going to give you salty rice. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. So Paya class to look forward to. Like don't go to the light
Starting point is 00:25:27 because there's Pyea on this side. Crystal and then Doris like, Crystal, I'm sending you a big hug and kisses. Now close your eyes. You just got a pie in the face. Courtesy of the cast of Peter Pan Live on Ice. Okay, let's go to the chapel real quick. We're going to light candle in the chapel.
Starting point is 00:25:48 America's like, oh, Jesus, I did this shit. I prayed to the same. All right. I done it. I had a chapel in my goddamn house. We see flashbacks of that and then, uh, sudden's like, well, we're all going to do this as a group. Okay. So I think I was like, yeah, maybe don't say shit as much about the church.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. I was like, yeah, but I had a chapel in my old house. So we see her old house. That chapel was built on the backs of victims. This one's more like, or built. Or built. Chappals, let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Or, listen, I really don't know where I was going with that. This one's more like, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills,
Starting point is 00:26:31 or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills,
Starting point is 00:26:38 or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills,
Starting point is 00:26:44 or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, or bills, That was like part of a religious organization. Maybe, maybe Katy Perry's going to come and kick someone out of it and take it over. You want to prove me wrong? Watch my music videos and see how often I'm on my knees. Mail it. How many prayers do I give? So, um, anyway, they're going to go to the church and Doreet's like, so what, what did the church ever do to you, Erika?
Starting point is 00:27:08 And she's like, oh, and now we see, by the way, Kyle is in this church already and she's, she's like putting a donation into the box, etc. I'm like, I wonder, I'm just just curious how much like obviously Kyle has converted to Judaism How much is she still I don't know what she was before that But how much is she still Christian and if she's starting to go back to Christianity as she now starts to pull away from Maricio? Oh my gosh. I don't know. That's too deep of a question for this show. Fuck How about this what the fuck is up with Kyle's lashes Gosh, I don't know. That's too deep of a question for this show. Fuck. How about this? What the fuck is up with Kyle's lashes?
Starting point is 00:27:50 Yeah, thank you. Fatten, there's a religion I can get behind. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I feel like when she went up to that deposit box, she kinda looked inside, she put something in there. I feel like if we went and looked to see what was in there, it was a picture of her and Morgan Wade that she's going to later accuse the church of trying to
Starting point is 00:28:08 spread gossip about her. You know, I did think it was weird when she tattooed a K onto the, onto the, under the box. I was like, whoa. She's like, well, this way you can just like pull in the rest of the letter. I can start anywhere you want with K. She's like drawing a K onto the statue of Jesus's arm She's like got you got you Jesus
Starting point is 00:28:33 So anyway, they're talking about church America's like Confirmation married to the Catholic Church There's no one here with clean hands. We're all Sentals the women gone sure we gonna get them in coming for these Senate bitches. I'll tell you that See what's funny is that like Erica later on is talking like this and they're like, oh, this is classic drunk Erica, but this is the morning now.
Starting point is 00:29:07 She's not drunk. At least as far as we're concerned, as long as we as far as we know. So Garcell is like, well, it's scary for Crystal to go to a foreign country hospital. And Erica's like, I feel so bad. Really try, try working with your insurance at an American one. Okay. I'd much rather. I'm, I'm rather. I'd much rather rather
Starting point is 00:29:26 rather be in Spain at the moment during this blood pressure talk. Frankly, okay, as someone who did once go to a foreign hospital, that would be me. It is not pleasant. I will say it is not. It's I once went when I was in France, I had like bronchitis, I guess, but I mean I had like bronchitis I guess but I mean they was bronchitis but but I thought it was pneumonia because it felt just like what I had pneumonia and so the thing is in Paris you can't you can hear the story Ronnie in Paris you can't just like go to both of us we're sick people like what is wrong with us? How much of this episode?
Starting point is 00:30:05 I'm trying to give you an international perspective. Okay. So, I was visiting a friend in Paris. So you can't just like go to a doctor and they can like give you some medicine. You have to go to the pharmacy or if not the pharmacy, then the hospital. So I had to go to the hospital and I was there and I had to wait hours upon hours upon hours
Starting point is 00:30:30 And then they gave they they wheeled me down to this like place to do an x-ray That was like in a dark hallway with the lights overhead swinging like a horror movie in a in a in a like a arm silo And then they were like okay, we're gonna keep you, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, you know, I was surrounded by curtains, but there were about like 20 other people or 30 people and I would The lights went out and this is all I would hear And then there's one guy this was so friends to hear a fucking jazz trio You're in a hospital, but but what made it really unique What made it feel so French was that there was there was an old man down, must have been like four beds away, and he literally kept on doing this all night.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Mad Moselle! Mad Moselle! And I was like, this is horrifying and hilarious. And then the next morning I woke up, and that night was the night of the Oscars, that the artist won, which was a French movie, and so the doctors came in and they're like, oh, you and me have a can. Oh, Jean So-and-So, Big Star now.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Hey, Big Star, the Altis big movie. And I was like, I need to get out of here. So yeah, going to a foreign hospital is a unique experience, but I don't think I need to do it again. Wow. Um, well, I hope to have my opportunity one time. Met the Moselle. Met the Moselle. Cool.
Starting point is 00:32:18 So, okay. So back to the show. Let's see what's happening here. So Dorit is saying, is it okay if I don't lie to Kindle? And they're like, no, you don't have to lie to Kindle. It's just church. So she tells us that Jewish people don't pray in churches. I can set an intention.
Starting point is 00:32:35 It doesn't have to be in a church. It could be out of the church, around the church, but setting an intention. You can see that while you brush your teeth. Or read a back of Doritos as PK does. His intention, last time I saw PK making an intention as he was eating Doritos. His intention was to eat Doritos. The PK unfortunately much like Crystal has a deeperintention. So, um, here's my intention. By the end of the year, I would like to be on ice as a mermaid with boy George, but he's Captain Hook and
Starting point is 00:33:15 someone has a cream pie and they've thrown it in my face. While I'm singing, my heart will go on. I've set the intention. So certain them everyone's lighting candles and it starts getting darker. So we won't make fun of this part but Sutton's talking about her father and his suicide and talking about how growing up Catholic in the Catholic Church, they believe that you do not go to heaven when you Die of suicide, which is true. And that's how I was raised too. I don't think the Episcopalians believe that. I don't know. It's funny how religion is because I was always raised
Starting point is 00:33:52 that way that if you die of suicide, that you don't go to heaven because you are wasting the life that God gave you or some some horseshit. And then later I told my dad that I said, cause someone I know died of suicide. And I was talking to my dad that I said, cause someone I know died of suicide and I was talking to my dad and I said, well, I guess. Cause you know, I've still got a lot of resentment.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I don't know if you can tell, but I said something like, well, I guess he's not going to go ahead and, huh, huh, that. Cause you know, I'm always 13 years old around my parents. And my dad was like, we never said that. That's not even true. We don't believe that. And I was like, since when, Since when don't you believe it? He's like, we've never believed, we've never taught you that suicide victims don't go to heaven. I was like, yes,
Starting point is 00:34:33 you do. Why are you acting like this traumatic shit you told me as a kid is just I'm being made up. Next, you're going to tell me that you never taught me that if people are allowed to be homosexuals, that the next thing we're going to do is allow them to marry a goat. And he said, I never said that. I said, you did, you did. So I guess what I'm saying is the rules are just fucking rewritten all the time. And even seeing these people talk about church for five minutes has set me into a complete fucking tailspin.
Starting point is 00:35:01 And I'm the bad guy because I want to go to the 80 for Brady Premier. tailspin. And I'm the bad guy because I want to go to the 80 for Brady Premier. Well, if Jesus didn't hate us so much for being gay, maybe he would have made that possible. Safe trade. They pray his stuff. So then Erica is saying, my intentions are live for the pickup and rebuilds. Move forward and be prosperous and get those fucking earrings back from whatever poor person is trying to get their greedy little nubby little hands all over him. But I'm still hooked and no one has really come up with me and said, hey, I apologize. Uh, we see a headline, reality blurb. Erica Jane wins appeal over $750,000 earrings after the earrings were auctioned off
Starting point is 00:35:53 to repay victims of Tom. Okay, so guess where I am right now? Are you watching the video of Erica sitting down with the victims? Nope. I am on the Bravo dockets Instagram. Oh, here we go. Okay. Because Erica's just so foolish that I can't live her. I knew it. When this came up, I was like, okay, pause for Ronnie to get.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Come on. Talk about rewriting history. My dad doesn't get to say that he never taught me that being gay was akin to people being able to marry goats. And you cannot just say that you went back these years. You just, it's rewriting history and I will not have it. So according to the Bravo docket did, which is a great podcast and great Instagram account, follow both please, did a court actually rule that Erica was right and that the earrings were not purchased with client funds? First, some undisputed facts.
Starting point is 00:36:49 In December, 2020, Gerardi and Gerardi Keese were forced into involuntary bankruptcy and the bankruptcy trustee who discovered a suspicious withdrawal from a client trust account that was supposed to go to diabetes patients for a lawsuit over a diabetes drug. This is not to get us to start talking about diabetes, but I'm sure that we're both tempted to. Ben, you willing to pass on that one? Uh, me too.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Specifically, Gerardi wrote a check from the client trust account for the diabetes patient for patients for $750,000 payable to M&M jewelers, which is that a coincidence? How much we love M&Ms on this show? On March 2nd, 2007. After figuring out the earrings were purchased with client money from the trust account, the bankruptcy trustee asked Erica to turn them over.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Erica refused. The bankruptcy trustee filed a motion for the earrings to be turned over and the bankruptcy judge granted the motion then Erica filed an appeal. She lost the first time. She argued that the bankruptcy court is barred by the statute of limitations. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:53 So then second, she argued that the bankruptcy court failed to prove the earrings were the property of the bankruptcy estate. This is important because the bankruptcy court only has authority over property belonging to Tom Gerardi or Gerardi case. Are you following this? So this is basically her saying, okay, I'm sorry. You're right. This was longer than I thought. I always think Instagrams are going to be shorter. I know what, honestly, I wanted to be like, no, of course I'm listening,
Starting point is 00:38:18 but honestly, I had, I had, I, I just, to me, I just, let me just make it short. This is the end, okay? If the earrings were purchased entirely with money that never belonged to Gerardi or Gerardi Keys in the first place, the bankruptcy court may not have a claim to them. That's their argument.
Starting point is 00:38:36 So since he stole that money from the victims, that money, those earrings were bought with victims' money, which was never his, so she shouldn't have to give the earrings back That's some sick shit. Okay, so if you didn't listen to any other part that was the main point Sorry, it took me so long to get there. I'll give it up now dropping the bone Actually, no, I do have there actually was an item about one of the victims So I'm gonna chime in with this so one of the victims is named Lou and that person is living with cancer. And so because of this whole situation, Lou and Lou's friends, they are
Starting point is 00:39:11 planning to actually go to the Super Bowl before that she gets a message from her oncologist. And then Betty is a math professor. That's one of her friends. They calculate they have a like a point.0013% chance of winning a Colin contest to see the showdown between Brady's New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons. You're an asshole. Oh, and by the way,
Starting point is 00:39:35 I've just found out that you are not invited to that premiere party. So. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thank you the Bravo docket. But. Great. Okay, so long and short of it, Erica's full of shit. So Crystal is, we see a clip of Crystal saying,
Starting point is 00:39:53 those are dead people that money was stolen from. Those are facts, America saying. Uh-uh, you need to watch a legal process play out. So then Doree, it's like, wow, what an amazing place to have a church, guys. Well done. Don't really understand the point, but what Rita said? Dorit is saying a lot of sort of like empty things. It's just like, especially at the dinner party, she's like hilariously in her small talk mode. So now her being, what's an amazing place to have
Starting point is 00:40:22 a church, you guys? Like, well, be sure to relay that to the architects great great grandchildren So, yes location location listen one thing Christians and Jews have in common is the Old Testament John 5 7 location location ABC always be churching so Meanwhile, here comes like chrishel. It's like you're a bad bitch bad bitch bitch bad bad We're gonna sell this church is my first listing in spain I'm the smelly kid. I was born in a shell station.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Here comes one right now. So, um, Sutton is actually having a nice moment with Kyle. She's talking about her, her dad and everything. And it's, it's, and Kyle is talking obviously about her friend, Lorraine, who also died by suicide very recently. And, you know, Sun's kind of comforting Kyle because Kyle is talking about how she spoke to a psychic and the psychic that she saw Lorraine and everything.
Starting point is 00:41:37 And Sun's kind of like, unfortunately Kyle, you're just never gonna get the answers. And it was like a very, very touching scene between the two of them. Yeah, and Sun's like, I'm sorry, I've been such a bad friend. And Kyle was like a very, very touching scene between the two of them. Yeah. And Sutton's like, I'm sorry, I've been such a bad friend. And Kyle's like, no, you've been a good friend. I love you.
Starting point is 00:41:51 And she's like, I love you. And Sutton says she hates fighting with Kyle, which is a shame because I love when you fight with Kyle. So let's just, I just don't give it up completely. You know what I mean? Mm hmm. That's what I say. And the Kyle cares about about setting a lot.
Starting point is 00:42:05 And I was really hurt by all the questions she was asking about my marriage. And so I'm happy to accept her apology and move on because Lord knows every magazine cover is already about me and Mauricio and Maureen Raid. So now they're just they're going to go into Barcelona to sort of see the city a little bit more. And they also FaceTime, Crystal FaceTime is like Ann Marie. Ann Marie is like shocked by this by the, oh my gosh, it was not a subject this. Because now of course, Crystal loves Ann Marie. It's definitely like the Florence Niengel effect, right? She's like obsessed with her now.
Starting point is 00:42:41 She's FaceTime with her. And so she's on anti-nausea medication and feeling better. And so now we're seeing like Barcelona. We're seeing umbrellas hanging over a plaza, or a street. We see architecture and gaudy and the remnants of America's next hot model runway show from many years ago. Then we see something that will stop me going to Barcelona ever. I never want to go now. Even though this has been a beautiful place. I've loved the episode. The photography has been great.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Fuck that place. Let me tell you why. Because we meet Manolo, the fucking tour guide who can't just show you around a goddamn building. The guy has to stand there with a, uh, uh, fucking guitar on his knee singing at me. Shut up. I did not pay for your fucking karaoke.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Okay. What is this? The dueling piano, the fuck out of here. Show me where the mall is, sir. Uh, I interrupt this podcast to, uh, present an announcement from the printer that is going off courtesy of my parents. So if you hear the sound of paper coming out, here it comes. What is he printing?
Starting point is 00:43:47 Here it goes. What is he constantly printing over there? Page one. What is it? Page two. What is it? Read it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:59 It's either my mom or my dad. It's their work. It's my mom. It's my mom's work. So congratulations, everyone. We got a real life print out during the podcast. Uh, uh, surprise page. Just blurt it out.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Oh, that last page just came vomiting out of the printer. But it's like probably the hurry so it can be done. Well done, everyone. We got some pages for mom who's probably gonna come in here in about 30 seconds. So everyone look forward to that. So Manolo plays his music very bigly and then he they're asking his name and he tells them Manolo and it's like. Can I put my foot in your mouth? You can put me foot in your mouth. Oh, oh my, I'm cramping on the left side now.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Oh, no. No more medical. Kyle's like, Dundee, esta, air, maz. Manolo's like, I don't know. So, by the way, it's so funny cause in my mind, Manolo was on stilts, but he wasn't. But in my mind, he was on stilts. Manolo wasn't on stilts, but he was doing a thing like he plays his guitar by lifting his leg and then resting the guitar on his knee while his leg is in the air. Yeah, he was giving stilt energy.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Yeah, he was giving stilt energy. Yeah. So he was doing that. And so Kyle's talking about how she just has to shop everywhere, guys. You should see me in a gas station. Like I can do it like in three minutes. Like I don't even care.
Starting point is 00:45:32 So she has to know where the Hermes is. And so she finds the Hermes in every town that she's in. And then that's like her center of town. And then she can go. So Kyle is like trying on this persona, the season of like she loves the shop, as if that's any different from any other real housewife. And she's like a little, like it's,
Starting point is 00:45:52 for some people if they did it, it's like fabulous. But with Kyle, it's like, this isn't quite working because you can't do the whole thing of like, oh my God, once I find out where the Airman's shop is, that's the center of town. But then you're also doing the, put me in a gas station and I can find anything in there. It's like you're either doing the Hermes thing or you're doing the gas station thing, but you're not doing both.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Well, hers is that she's just a shopping addict, you know, so it's not, she's trying to like, she's just putting the gas station in there because she also does Amazon live. So she's, she's like, I can't just unbrand myself, you know. I'm sorry, Ron. If your mother writing a book, can you hear it? Is your mother the new Danielle fucking steel? What's going on? There we go. Another document just came out. A fresh document. I feel like I'm at a diner.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Oh, hi, mom. Welcome. No, it's OK. We've been documented. We've been we've been tell her we've been reading her fan fiction. We've been announcing the documents as they pour out on the podcast. There you go. Bye. The slow, unamused door creek. I got to love podcasting from home. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Could you hear my mom? No, I know. It was like Charlie It's funny. Could you hear my mom? No, I know. No, it was like Charlie Brown's parents. Oh, well, that's too bad. Anyway, that was a mom cameo everyone. Congratulations. Okay, so now they go to lunch and Amarie is FaceTiming her kids and stuff.
Starting point is 00:47:23 And she's like, hi guys, daddy, I can't see you. And they're like, daddy, daddy doesn't want to be on camera, but he says you're a solid eight today. She's like, oh, damn it. Well, tell him I've been stuck in the hospital all day. All right, I'll give you a point five if you're good. He's like, sorry, we're kind of breaking up. Unfortunately, the Wi-Fi here is only an 8.5,
Starting point is 00:47:47 so we're trying a different area. So they're like, oh my God, you call your husband daddy? She goes, well, I'm in front of the kids I do. Oh, geez. Cause remember they had that lady who called her husband daddy and they were like, what a freak. Do you remember that happening on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?
Starting point is 00:48:06 Who was that? Carl called her husband, daddy. It was a one season wonder. It was someone who was barely around. And they called. Was it Catherine? I don't remember. I don't think Catherine called Donnie a daddy.
Starting point is 00:48:19 She called Donnie. Someone called them daddy and they're like, oh my God, what a fucking weirdo. I think it was just a lady at a party that called her husband, daddy. And Carl was like, gross my God, what a fucking joy. I think it was just a lady at a party that called her husband Daddy. And Kyle was like, Gross, who calls her husband daddy? You know how Kyle gets mad at ladies at the party she thinks is for. She thinks are flirting with Maurizio.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I think it was one of those moments. I don't think it's, um, I don't think it's crazy to call your husband Daddy when you're like talking from the kids. Um, my hot take for the day. Ah, can't believe I don't get these premier invites. So, um, everyone drinks her arriving and everything. And they like, they're toasting to crystal's health. Thank you for not making me formulate an opinion on that.
Starting point is 00:48:59 And I was like, my brain just stopped. I was like, do I have to make a stance on this? Is this where we're going to stop the podcast and talk? So Kyle is like, guys, it was like kind of interesting. It's so interesting how like you, Emery and Crystal went last from like last night to today. Isn't that like funny? And everyone's like, ha, ha, ha. Everyone's like, I know. And Emery's like, you know, I take my profession really seriously. And it's like really like a part of me. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:49:24 You know, I take my profession really seriously and it's like really like a part of me. You know what I mean? And Erica's like, no, and I know you felt very bad about not being able to go with her and tell her things in her ears. Like, don't worry, you're about to die. Any last words? And she's like, yeah, well, you know, it's like, I felt horrible cause Garcola and I were talking this morning about her. And you know, like calling me fake doctor and like the whole, you're not a doctor thing.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Like that's hurtful. Are you a doctor? Why is it hurtful? Like, listen, when I try and go up to the front of the plane to get my airplane pins, which I should, my wing pins or whatever, which I still think I deserve. I'm there from point. This is going.
Starting point is 00:50:02 And they tell me, you're not a pilot, sir. And do I cry? Sure, but I get over it. Because at the end of the day, I have to admit that they're true. Yeah, I think, uh, but I think clearly what Amory interpreted Crystal saying was like, you're not a doctor. Therefore, you're worthless. But I think Crystal was saying, you said you were a doctor to me and but you're not a doctor, therefore you're worthless. But I think Rysal was saying, you said you were a doctor to me,
Starting point is 00:50:26 but you're not a doctor, you lied. So I think they're interpreting things differently. So Erica's like, well, I think that's all that. Like quite honestly, it's in hindsight now. So, you know, remember that big fight? Remember how she like questioned your profession and you know, said you were a liar and all that bullshit? Yeah, whatever, that's in hindsight. Cause we can put put things in hindsight now who wants to give me an apology anyone
Starting point is 00:50:52 You know hindsight is best viewed through diamonds anybody She's like well, what's important now is that crystals over and Garcels like I agree and now I'm gonna take this opportunity Because Dureed and I had more than a hiccup there was something about how you talk to me it made me feel a certain way taco Tuesday was a really rough night yeah take it in isolation that's a very funny sentence to say so you shows fucking kill me. It's like, let's go into a talk about microaggressions. Let me intro that talk by saying, Taco Tuesday. Taco Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:51:35 I felt my, I just felt like I left my body, but that was mainly Crystal's attempt at making Mexican food. So, Dorit said, she's not when I said that, I wasn't thinking about, about race. Yes, yes, race. I didn't want to say it. Could be a bad word.
Starting point is 00:51:54 I like to say race. And Erica's like, well, I know you weren't, you don't think about a lot of things, you dumb fuck. I'm drunk. So Garcelle's like, yes, that's my whole point. She goes, yes, no, but you called, but, but you called me a Karen. And I'm not a Karen. I'm a, if anything, I'm more of a mermaid.
Starting point is 00:52:10 And I, well, I'm really glad that Garcell didn't say, okay, you're not a Karen. Instead, she said, well, I don't think anyone's here. Anyone here is racist. And I can just say like, I don't think anybody here is racist. Which implies you're still a Karen because you still are a Karen. I'm sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:31 I mean, Dorita's definitely had enough like Karen, Karen stuff in her folder there. So she's like, I'm not stuff. By the way, you can get past that and grow and change. You know what I mean? It's not like you have to be like that forever. In fact, please don't be like that forever. You know, it's okay. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:54 So Garacelle basically is like, look, I don't think anyone here is racist, but you know, there's certain things that make me feel a certain way. And like my opinion is that you have lived a very sheltered life and you understand the walk that you don't understand the walk up how to walk. I just want to say that. And it's like, you know what? I really, really appreciate you saying that. And I want to learn and know about your plight.
Starting point is 00:53:19 And just so you understand, my little bubble is also a bubble of plight. But she, and she tells her story about story about you know her father being Israeli and When she grew up she lived in a town where she was there were the only Jewish people and she got made fun of people would basically Antisemitic things were and ask if she had horns in her head Stuff like that. So she's kind of like, you know showing that like, you know, she too has been the subject of discrimination. And then she says, like, look, I'm not trying to compare, but I just didn't think it was a totally fair characterization of me. And, and she says, you know, if there's anything that I ever do that
Starting point is 00:53:59 triggers you, please let me know, because I don't ever want to do that. And then Garcelle's like, you know, listen, thank you for sharing that because it's really good to know. It's like, well, if you don't have to yell at me about it, I'm sitting right next to you. Don't have to attack me. All right, well, that was a good talk. That was a good talk. It seemed like we did well. But it actually was a good talk because DeRiette was able to share some of her perspective. Garcelle like felt more understood by Derit. And then Garcelle says, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:31 I know we talk about the Birkins and the bags and all the fashion, but this is the stuff that bonds us hearing the human experiences and the stories and things like that. That's what really makes us friends. You know, Kyle was like, so when do we go to Hermès? We're gonna go Hermès soon? Anytime? Going to Hermès? You know who really bonds people?
Starting point is 00:54:49 Hermès. So. Let's go to Hermès. So Sutton announces that her friends are gonna come over for dinner. And she says, Trevor, my friend of mine, since I was in my early twenties, he's gonna join us.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Cause we started with Merce Cunningham and we started at the same time and he moved to Barcelona a long time ago, but he's going to bring some architect friends. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. I just want people to know there's just a part of me. It's not just this, you know, alimony collecting, gala going vodka drinking, esophagus closing, you know
Starting point is 00:55:27 Let the mouse go go in Naiman Naimer name on Naiman Name him name and wacky lady who loves karaoke. Okay? So it's time to go shopping or they're actually supposed to like be going to the next event But then some of them like Derrit and Kyle see a fan shop and something like, all right, well, you got three minutes to shop. So they're all they all go nuts. You know, this is where Kyle's like, I can do stuff in three minutes. Trust me, you know, you should seem in a gas station.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Do you know how easy it is for me to find something amazing at a gas station in three minutes? I'm like, well, go to fucking Bucky's and try it like they're bitch. It's big. I'm just saying it's a big, it's a big gas station. It's a lot of things up in there. There's a lot of stuff. It's good. You're only, you're only mean more than three minutes. Um, so to read, it's like, I have a really good hour. So in three minutes, I'll be able to see exactly what I like. Rep it up. Pave for it. Get it out. I've got 19 fans in the purse.
Starting point is 00:56:29 The 900 years old. Look, this one's for spaceship. Like, oh my gosh. Look at this one. This is from the Middle Ages. It's of a mouse with big ears. And it says 100 year anniversary. It's like, oh, That's just from Disney.
Starting point is 00:56:45 This is one from Jesus's tomb. It's got Beyonce's Feet on it. Look at this one. 500 years old, artisanly made. Look, it's a little yellow creature with a lightning bolt tail named Pocachu. Actually, I loved her fans. I thought the fans were amazing. Also, now we can know that has fans.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Oh, that's cute. Congrats, story. Um, I hate fans. I like air conditioners. Okay. Fuck your fans. I raise you an air conditioner. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Listen, I'm not a fan gay. I know there's like at this point I think about 90% of gays love doing the flop the fan open and do this thing which I Enjoy watching it. The thing is that I'm bad at it. So what I got out of it clunky. Yeah, and I think it's a sport Because we're both bad at yeah, the fan point. Yeah, it's just like I just sort of like I just sort of like move the fan from Left to right. I don't actually open the fan it like doesn't open up and then like I'm not bad at fluttering the fan So I'll just watch the fan But I'm not gonna actually get the fan. I'm not gonna be a fan gay. Yeah, I'm not a fan gay either
Starting point is 00:57:58 So Erica's like, okay, okay? We need to be budget conscious. I get it, but it would be nice if someone walked in here with about a hundred million dollars. I laughed. I laughed. I laughed. I laughed right now at that. So they buy and Kyle just buys like a ring that doesn't even fit her.
Starting point is 00:58:19 She just buys it. So that's great. And now they go back to the house and Crystal's like lying on the bed and she's, you know, she's saying how her family has a history of high blood pressure and hypertension and something that she struggled with and she didn't realize it could get to this point. And she's just like really, she's like really just like on the bed and she's like very emotional and everything. And I mean, look, there were a lot of people who were worried that Crystal wasn't going
Starting point is 00:58:43 to do much this season and And guys, blood pressure. So well, just as she started to do something, her body was like, stop that. I also liked when you remember when they when they walked in and they're like, hi, Crystal. Hi, Crystal. Eric goes, Crystal. And someone goes, you're loud. Because Erica's on one this whole episode. Like who is this person?
Starting point is 00:59:10 So, um, and Crystal's like, okay, guys, well I'm back, but I have to take it easy. I'm not going to drink. Cause like joined the club. I'm not drinking. Huh. I wonder if everyone's going to choose you of having an affair with a beautiful country star.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Oh God, the sober Sizzies. I mean, at least there's someone on Bravo who is like rolling their eyes at the huge amounts of probably very healthy sobriety that's happening. Yeah. Well, this whole cast is something like disgust him. Not drinking. She must be cheating. I know. So glam squads arrive and more glam squads.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Garcell's glam squad tells her that the paella is going to be very authentic. I'm like, I love that the glam squad is on the paella beat. Like we just heard a word on the street. This is authentic paella. So get ready. And then Sutton is, she's like, this day has been crazy. And you know, it's because mercury is in retrograde, which I think is like everybody's mom's thing to say.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Like moms have finally figured out mercury being in retrograde. And now suddenly the fault of fucking everything. It's like, my God, oh, you're traumatized by religion. Really? Well, Mercury must be in retrograde. Um, my favorite, my mom thing that she just said again the other day was, I'm taking this online. Like when she's mad at somebody for not getting the service she wants,
Starting point is 01:00:38 like the lady at Dillard's pissed her off. I'm taking this online. Okay. So then, um, Kyle tries to FaceTime Mauricio and he keeps black, you know, the phone keeps going dead and she gets mad at him for it. That's her season, you know, guys? They're very close to a divorce.
Starting point is 01:00:53 You know, you know, a marriage is going south when reception's bad in a parking garage. It's like, oh my God, can't they ever work out their issues? Okay, so now we get to the part I need you for because you're intelligent. I don't have that. So Erica's like, so now we have to entertain Sutton's friends, guys. She's talking to her makeup crew, Laya, it's set. And has Laya always been part of her makeup crew? I thought Laya was her assistant.
Starting point is 01:01:23 That's Laya, right? I thought it was Laya, but I don't know. A lot of the glam and assistance looked the same to me. I think Laya has just had to learn new jobs over the years. Like, you want to stay here, you're gonna learn more jobs. Now put together the shelf and get my eye shadow on. Not necessarily a metal one. I can't say reliable without L I got my I got my lashes put on. Unfortunately, there's also an L range glued to my eye. And my girl still gets used to it. It's like, how about she's still getting used to it.
Starting point is 01:01:54 She actually put it on with gorilla glue. So it's going to be tough to get that off of there. How old do some warm ups while I try and work this thing off my waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle And anyway, it means sophisticated and educated. Whatever. That's what I needed you for. Is that how you say it? And is that what it is? Yeah. Every day means like it is what they put up on screen, which is, it's, yeah, it is. I don't know if the exact definition is sophisticated and educated, but it's
Starting point is 01:02:38 basically like learn it and yeah. Great knowledge of learning. I looked it up. Yeah. Having great knowledge or learning. Hello there it up. Yeah, having great knowledge of learning Hello there. This is a two-part recap. Okay, this is the end of part one So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King
Starting point is 01:03:02 Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney. Strollin' the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-us. She's never scary, it's the Green Fairy. Jamie, she has no last namey. Hava-Negila Weber, know your worth with Jason Curth. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing.
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Starting point is 01:03:48 Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony Junie my favorite murder Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Chadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible, edible Matthew sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noel.
Starting point is 01:04:18 She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla playing. She's quite the catch. It's Victoria Kachit. She ain't no shrinking violet kutar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch Our Crappings ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen adfree with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com.

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