Watch What Crappens - #2317 Pump Rules Part 2: Tickle Me Emo

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Welcome back to part 2 of our Vanderpump Rules recap (S11E02).  Sandoval makes his big return just in time for his birthday party. But the real star is his assistant Ann, who must balance between his social calendar and Ariana’s emo night plans. Grab both live and streaming tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 17 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part 2 of a 2-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.

So then we cut to the girls table and Sheena's like dancing. She's like shimmying. She's like, oh, ah. So what do you think Schwartz and me are talking about? That's a lot of goes. I love they just asked that while you were dancing. She's like, yeah. It was just such a sheen a moment. Yeah, she is hallucinating. And then we go, good as gold is playing. So that's the, that's the Trixie Monocle for the next scene.

And we go to a music studio and Kevin Agatars and Landis, a singer from the 27s. Is it from the 27s? Is that a band? I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell. Landis from the 27. There was some stuff on my screen that was obscuring it. And I was like, I'm just not gonna, whatever.

It's person one, person two for me at this point. Well, they're from the 27s, so I can see them right now. They just posted a picture of them with our Sheena. So there you go. Wow. So the girl, let's see. So Brock. Rock.

Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock. And she goes to see these guys, and of course Brock's with her. and she's like, oh my God. So this is amazing because like the first emo night I went to, I was like, DJ, can I emo? And then he was like, what if you and Ariana did this together? And then they were like, hell yeah. But then like, Katie was there.

So I was like, Katie, do you want to do it too? So then we all liked it emo night together. And Brock me was like, wow, I, do you want to do it too? So then we all liked it email night together. And Brock meanwhile was like, wow, I'm feeling very American right now. This is the first time I've been in a music studio. I was like, is that an American thing? Is that like, like four score and 20, four score and seven years ago. We have other countries. They just, they just doubt, dance to sound effects.

I'll always remember this. They just, they just doubt, dance to sound effects. I'll always remember this. I'll always remember the 1776 Congress when they assigned the Constitution and then said, now let's make this a song. They pulled out their fives, put some paddings on the wall. I'll tell you how that Liberty Bill cracked. It's from the good music. What a J, one of George Washington's most famous clothes, a sing-it-sa star. One of George Washington's most famous clothes was, tonight I'm gonna blow.

Yeah, that song's a cover. I love Cena's explanation. She's like, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, that song's a cover. I love Cena's explanations. She's like, yeah, because like, emo night is where you listen to music, but it's like sad music. And then if you're like, sad as fuck, you're supposed to be sad as fuck,

because it's emo night. But like, you're sad as fuck in a happy place, but you're also with your friends who are also emo. You know what I mean? Because it's emo night. And one time we did emo night, and there was like a DJ there, and then I was like, should I DJ?

And then there were like, you should DJ. Remember Brock should DJ remember Brock. Oh my god. I do remember. Oh, yeah So American You know what here's my version of you Monight turning on Delilah and just sitting there for two hours. That's how you do it, okay? You Monite at Delilah's Well, I'm like, I don't I don't want to listen to blink at 182 when I'm sad I want to listen to you know, I want to listen to like I don't know like the jets or Or like I'm a friend. I'm a like roll around in the sadness kind of a person. Yeah, I'll put some of that

That's not sad songs. Oh you want you want like to go there. I'm like piano in the dark. Give me some slow PM Dawn. Give me some slow Debbie Gibson. Give me the Delilah, give me, I want sad stories from Delilah on my Coast FM. Okay. Now I play Adele and then I play Nina Simone.

There's nothing more depressing than like a full Nina Simone listen. Like just get, don't even do the greatest hits. Just do like the full discography where you can just listen to every single song. Nothing will make you sadder. God, I love it. Could be Nina.

I like to listen to Adele. I will also accept some ballads from Richard Marx. I don't know, that's probably not, it doesn't take you to the Adele place, but that works for me. So, Sheena gets in the sound stage cage, whatever they call it, sound booth. Sound booth.

And they're like, yeah, do it. And Brock goes, get in there, more little birdie. So she goes in and then she starts rapping. She's like, come get your riding, Shawty. Stop waiting for a sign. Get close and touch my body. Lord, stop, I got time. How's this emo?

Does she not, has she not heard what emo is? This is supposed to be an emo remix. It's supposed to be like, come on, you're riding, Shawty. Stop waiting for a sign. Get close and touch my body. Let's have a good time. I think she was going for Scrimmo. So that's why she was like,

That's how I'm a person! I was like, I like, I, when she screamed that line, I nearly fell out of my chair. I was back. Yeah. The most destroyed by the scene. The scene at the highest screaming mobile time.

Full on animal and Muppets. It was so unexpected, but I agree. It's still it may have been like she got the scream, the screamo part of screamo part, right? But I didn't really hear the emo part. It was just like, it's still, it may have been like, she got the screamo part of screamo part, right? But I didn't really hear the emo part, it was just like, it's hard to be emo about saying, come on, you're riding Shadi, stop waiting for a song,

come close and touch my body, is that emo? I don't know. I'm like, oh my God, it's so like high school. Brock's like, I love this version of my wife, it's sexy, it's inspiring, she was made for the spotlight. And I'm glad she's putting herself out there. Like a true American. So she's like, wow, like, I like having done music like since we've been together like, and she says

that after she was, you know, in 2019, after the amount of negativity I got from my like last song and music video, I just like throw in the towel and then we see I totally forgot about this song and this thing where she did this music video with Brett and everyone was scandalized. Like, how could she do this video with Brett? And he's like, I didn't even know I would be doing this in the video. I'm just like horrified. And it was full on porn. It's like bang me really really hard Remember see who she like arguing with who was she like fighting over Brett with we're saying oh my god Like I'm just friends with that. I don't even know what you're talking about like I have no interest in Brett

Okay, I had Brett in my music video fuck me like ten different ways. What the hell was she know? Was it deep? I. It was a deep. I think it was Dana who she was fine. I think Dana had gone on some dates with Brett or was Dana with I felt like it was Charlie. It was a dark time. There was a dark time. It was not an easy time to remember for sure. Yeah.

They both got fired. Max and Brett both got fired for racist shit. So it's not a good time not a good time So then she was like, yeah, so I like throwing the I just threw in the towel I was like, you're not the best singer and you don't do music anymore. So let's move on But like everyone loves a good reunion tour. So guess what bitches? I've been back. I've re you I've reunited with myself, I guess I reunited with myself, I guess. I'm...

But, man, it's back together. It's me. So, they start talking about the nanny taking care of the kids so that they could go out. And she's like, yeah, my therapist was like, what's the next part of exposure therapy you can work on? And I was like, having someone watch my kids so I can go get exposure. Yeah. like having someone watch my kids so I can go get exposure. Yeah. And so now she starts talking about how,

like, you know, she's never, she hasn't really had anyone outside the family take care of Summer Moon before. And so like this is like a big part of her postpartum OCD is like being scared to like let go and like, you know, trust in other people. But she's gonna have her friend Tori help cause I've like known Tori like ever since she was like 16 and like Tori is like being scared to like let go and like, you know, trust in other people, but she's gonna have her friend Tori help cause I've like known Tori like ever since she was like 16

and like Tori is like like really good. And she never got mad that I went through in the towel. I literally landed on her head. So like she's just like a really good person. And we see a clip of her OCD where she's watching the phone. There's like a nanny cam in the bedroom in the baby's room and she's watching summer sleeping And she's like my god

What if she tries crawling through the bars and gets a smushed face and people start calling her book face and she dies alone and Unleafed cuz no one likes to read Like geez this is dark so yeah She has someone coming over it to help and she's like yeah It's like really hard to get anyone outside my immediate family like aunt Dee had her once and I was terrified that she'd put her in a crop top and like she'd get, she'd burn her beard tummy on like these famous Azusa enchilada salsa. So the way that I'm just like, I'm just like really like, I'm just

like really careful with everything. Um, even in like baby food, which is why when I go to the store, I'm like, I think I'll try one of each of the prime baby foods. My baby will have one of each of the prime cocktails. She's still, she's still ordering the baby cocktails. So we're prime. Just trying to work that out. Listen, I know my baby is trying to be sober right now,

but she really should try these cocktails. Like, wow, you don't even support sobriety in babies? Come on. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. Because don't you remember the prime cocktails of this land that her husband became sober? And she's like, oh my god, can't you just drink a little bit? Why do you have to be totally sober?

Can I have one of each of the prime cocktails? I think I'm gonna have one of each of the prime cocktails, please. I think I'm going to have one of each of the prime cocktails, please. I will never forget. I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime cocktails. One of my favorite quotes of all time. Love Sheena. So she's like, yeah, so I quit my music career, blah, blah, blah.

So they're talking about how this girl's going to come over. Tori. She's like, yeah, you know like I've known Tory since I was 16 And he's like I'll take anyone I've been asking to go out for a while This is gonna help you with your confidence. You know, I want that I want my confident wife back Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. drinking right now. So he says that one of the catalyst for getting sober was because Markel was going away to a facility and like I knew she couldn't drink and like the last thing I was gonna do

was like be drinking also and like going out. So like while she's there, I figured like we could do it you know, once together like once she got out. I'm like, well there is, I'm like sure. I'm like, I guess, I, um, I'm like, sure. Like, I guess, I don't know. This seems like a strange choice for him. I don't believe him at all. I think this is all calculated to get pity. Like, I gave up drinking for her because she had to go through it. So I'm going through it too. I don't

believe it. So Schwartz is like, you know, um, I feel like you feel like kind of become a mythological creature, like a Krypton. I mean, it's kind of good to see you I guess. How was your trip? And he's like, oh they ran it so hard. It was so hard bro. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And he's like, did you cry?

Huh. Must have been more fun than dealing with shit at the bar. Yeah. And he's like, I know there was like collateral damage and I'm like really sorry Schwartz, but like I can feel that you're like angry at me and like I literally just bought your shoes So you shouldn't be angry anymore like I obviously I like fucking had to torch the way my bank account was like literally overdrawn So he's saying that Ariana hadn't paid any bills for literally eight months man

And he's like moving one thousand dollars000 from this account and 500 from that other account just to pay the mortgage. So that means she was not paying the bills long before any of this happened. I don't know that I believe Tom. He's a big fat liar. When he went on that Nick Vile show, Nick was like, bro, you're late because Tom overslept or whatever. He was with a friend. He didn't show up to the thing. They had to call him like 10 times. And he didn't show up till like half an hour later, something. And then Nick's like, wow,

were you gonna apologize for being late? And he goes, are you gonna apologize for being late to my podcast? Cause you were like two hours late. No, I wasn't. Yeah, you were. You didn't even show up until like six. You were supposed to come at like five.

So he's going on this whole thing like, you're such a hypocrite, you didn't apologize to me. And then the assistant or whatever the co-host, sorry, no disrespect intended, whoever looks up to text and she's like, well, he texted me saying he was done at six and at Whole Foods. So like, Tom's just a fucking liar. It's a long way of saying Tom's a liar.

I don't believe him. Yeah, I don't believe him. His credibility is shot. So then he tries to do the Heather Gay thing. He goes, I've been pretty much paying for everything out of my accounts. Mortgage, gardener, cleaning, utilities, everything. I was like, not as good, didn't do it as well as Heather.

And he's like, it's just kind of like pulling teeth to get like Ariana to pay me back. Where was your money, sir? I would say she's paying you back. Yeah. I would say that that's paying you back pretty well, actually. Like, I'm sorry, like this, something is not adding up.

I understand that he had to take out a loan against the house to get the bar up and running, but he's also like, he should not be living like paycheck to paycheck. Like there was some mismanagement on his end. That's what this sounds like to me. And he's also glossed over his band.

They're not making any money. Oh yeah. Well, there's that too. So that's where that's where the mismanagement is because like that band is way too big. He should not be though. He's paying for that band. What he's paying for is his ego right there because that band is a cover band.

They're not even making original music. And on top of that, like you're paying all that money for that band. Just the way you could live your rock star fantasy and you're driving yourself to debt and then you're blaming Ariana for it. No, that doesn't work for me. So he's like, well, bro, I kind of hurt my feelings that you go on all podcast, Jackson's podcast to say I'm touring to live my rock star dreams. Okay.

Yeah. Moving flipping it back, you know, no one's shocked that this is how he's arguing, of course. So, Schwartz is like, yeah, I'm talking about you dealing with your shit show. Man, I know he asked you to step away, but I mean, if I was you, I'd be pitching ideas and solutions, you know? And he's like, what do you want me to do, bro?

I brought you shoes. Jojo, see why I wore those shoes. Jojo Siwa wore those shoes. Oh, that's why they're yelling. I don't know. Hey, like maybe you could have said something like, Hey guys, can I hire a publicist to help out? Or like, I'm so fucking sorry. I love that shorts is passive even in this situation.

He still wants Sandoval to do the damage control for him. And Sandoval is like, I mean, by the way, Schwartz, you hired the publicist. Why are you, why do you want to like entangle yourself with this PR nightmare that is Tom Sandoval? You don't like the partner say, we don't want to see him. They push him out basically. And then you're like, well, you hire a publicist for me. You do it Schwartz.

Well, I think his point is that they're still paying Tom. Like Tom is still an active partner in the pay department. He didn't just give up all financial rights to that restaurant. So even though he's not allowed to come in and upset the customers, he should still be doing something. He can't just like leave and drop the restaurant and then just sit back and wait for everybody

else to make it profitable. He needs to at least be there in the off hours, cleaning or doing a dish, doing something. Or I guess what Schwartz is trying to say is like, yeah, they don't want you coming into the restaurant because you're right now, that's bad for our business. But what you should be doing is thinking about what you can do to get back into the restaurant

and how you can fix this and help fix things for everyone. And of course, Sandoval probably took it as like, well, you guys kicked me out, huh? Because he makes it all about himself. So, Schwartz is like, Tom, just take it. All you should be saying is, I'm sorry. That's all you need to say. I'm sorry, your feelings are hurt.

I just care about the business. I put half a million dollars into it. You know, you should be saying, I'm sorry. It's like, no, I do care. I care about it, but it didn't seem that way. It didn't seem like he gave a shit to be honest. Ah, baby. So now the conversation is,

who's gonna go to emo night and who's going to Tom's birthday? And neither of those things sound great. I have to be honest. I choose nothing. And Schwartz is like, well, she and I did extend the Olive branch at emo night. And Santa Vols like, are you gonna stick with me or what? Because I'm gonna do what's best for me, which is whatever Katie tells me.

So hold on, I'm just waiting for a text. What's best for me? Could someone tell me, hey, Santa a text. What's best for me? Could someone tell me? Hey, Sanofa, what's best for me? It's... Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industries Myhalla Harald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound, eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the

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So now we go to Brock and Sheen at home. So this is like the big thing. So, so Sheen is getting, you know, she's going to be leaving her, her child in someone else's care, which is a significant thing. We're making jokes about the baby food and crop tops, whatever. This is a hard thing. It's a really hard step, especially because she seems like she's really in the throes of this postpartum OCD, which is really, really serious.

So Tori comes over and Tori, in case you didn't know Tori was an actress, Tori's like, hi! How are you? Summer moon! I dreamed a dream! So good to be here. And Brock's like, you still manning him?

She's like, yeah, I've taken a step back from acting and I'm focusing on different things. So Eric, I'm mostly music, right? So, so Eric, what's up with you? She does mom's like, she does a torn radiator cuff. She goes, yeah, we just need someone to basically put somewhere in her crib.

Okay, that's all we need from you. So that's that's it. So you can like work on your music or whatever, but then like just put her in the crib because like my mom's like her rotator cuff isn't rotating right. It's like a serious thing, Tori. It's serious. Like have you ever seen like a cop that like can't rotate like you're like why can't this cop rotate like that's basically my mom right now like it's just like a cop that's like stationary and it's like really hard and like all of us right now and Brock's like, yeah, it would be genius inability to let things go. It's like,'s like really hard and like all of us right now and Brock's like yeah It would she has the inability to let things go. It's like could you be a little bit more?

Delicate about your wife. He's like, yeah, she just can't let fucking things go That's like she's in the throes of this of you know something that's kind of like out of her control too And he's and she's like, um, that's like not what it is. Oh, all right. Oh, CD That's like not what it is. He's like, oh, all right, OCD. And he's like, why'd you get so triggered? I'm just like, because she's not like everything and I'm not gonna leave her with anyone, okay? Like I said, let's start with Tori

because I'm comfortable with that, okay? Please. And so Erica's like, baby steps, baby steps, Brock. We're just taking baby steps here. So Brock's like, I'm in the one wanting this, why are you getting mad at me? And he tells us he misses his wife having good days because before they had their kid,

they were a juggernaut of just having fun. So real juggernaut of fun is what we were. We're like Americans in a music studio, just a juggernaut of fun is what we were. We're like Americans in a music studio, just a juggernaut. But now for Sheena, day to day simple test because of the wheeling. And that's what a lot, a lot of life is like, what if, what if, what if, what if. I mean, this is Sheena, daily day tasks are monumental. It's Sheena. Let's just Sheena.

I mean, that is how Sheena is. Oh my god. Are you kidding? I have to go to Target to get new placements. First I have to go all the way to Target, then I have to park there, then I have to go in there, then I had to like find the aisle for placements. You know how hard that was? It was really hard. To be fair, also you guys live in Marina del Rey, so any task you need to do is gonna be about 45 minutes or over. There's literally nothing out there. There's nothing. You have to drop everything.

And once your task is going to the cheesecake factory, you're fucked. No. Oh, that's true. Unless your task is taking a little booze cruise around that, around that port there, then you're fucked. Okay. Because guess what?

You know what's out there? Traffic. Traffic and random like mini highways. And like a cheesecake factory. Sea Valley people will, will, will, will shit on other neighborhoods. Just wait, just, just have to give it some time. Okay. So then, um, Eric is like, listen, Brock, sometimes you just need to validate Sheena's feelings. And he's like, oh, well, she's got two of you validating the feelings right now. And by

the way, throughout this fighting, Tori is just staring straight ahead. Like she is traumatized. Like she's been through this a million times. Like, Oh my god, they're fighting again. She's just doing like, I'm staring at a mental wall right now. I'm staring at a mental wall. Tori's like, put it into your art. Put it into your art. Put it into your art. She's like, make a bridge out of this.

So, so basically Sheena and Erica are like, fuck you, Brock. Stop minimizing what like Sheena's going through, right? And Brock, I'm just saying, I'm sick of this. And Erica's like, I raised two daughters who don't need anything from me. And yes, do you guys need my help with summer from time to time? Yes, do I have a broken rotator cuff because of it?

Perhaps. Did that little brat break my rotator cuff? Did my cuff rotate before you guys started unloading your baby on me every day in my life? I just love that all. You guys, I've raised two children who need nothing for me except for to raise their children. So I'm doing every single day. I don't want to I I'm not going to say that this rotator cuff is something that's a big deal. But I would I will also say is imagine

playing wheel of fortune and you go to spin the wheel and the wheel doesn't spin. Okay, just want to put that out there. Okay, so if anyone wants to get me a tile and all, I'd appreciate it. I mean, price is wrong, am I right? Because I'm never spinning that wheel either. Do you know how many wheels on television I'm never going to be able to spin? I mean, have you ever gone on the match game and not matched? That's kind of at my... What if you played Who W wants to be a millionaire and everyone in the audience said not me? That's my rotator cuff right now. So Sheena's like, yeah.

Basically. And Sheena's like, well, what Parker's saying, mom, is not like, I always have to ask for your opinion on everything. And it's like a hindrance to him. And she's saying, you know, she just wants to get to a place where she's not freaking out all the time too, you know? And her mom's like, she's like,

Sheena, you have come so far. Not as far as I have to come from Azusa to Marina Del Rey. I mean, that is really, really, really far. Thank God cars aren't powered by cuffs because mine wouldn't rotate enough to get me here. Sheena, you have come so far. I can only wish that my rotator cuff could get that far. But apparently right now, I've only got about a half inch

of mobility there. So, and then Erica turns to Tori and she goes, and I think your friendship with her has helped so much because you really get her. Tori then clutches her heart goes Oh my god, I am like crying right now crying Crying and Brock's like this is why I wanted to talk about it All right, cuz we needed to talk about it now summer

Are you excited for Tori to stay and summer's just picking her nose and staring at Tori, like, ew, that girl's fake crying. Summer's like, can you guys like, I'll stop talking about me because I need to record a Screamo album now. Summer's like, hope you like your Rotator cuff, bitch. So now it's, now we see a plane in the sky so we know where we're going next and sure enough we're at James and Ali's new house right there channel up below.

So they have a cat Mr. Banks and Ali's like banks are you going to make a new friend are you going to make a new friend today are you going to make a new friend banks are you going to make a new friend today? Are you going to make a new friend, Banks? Are you going to make, you know the cats like, get the fuck out of my face, lady. Try to chase him out. Take a chase of a flashlight along the floor. And Tom Schwartz comes over and he's like, oh, I got you a tree. It's an African milk tree.

It's a succulent. And James is like, oh, look at that. Ow, ow, why, why would you bring me a murder cactus? Arizona will be the death of me. Now I wonder why he thinks his dog isn't gonna get all, you know, stabbed to death by cacti because he holds the second for one second

and is already, I just think it's so poetic that he was just complaining about that cactus infested state of Arizona and then Schwartz brings him for one second is already pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre I was like, wow, it's just so cool to see him having so much joy in this house. And it's hard not to feel the sting from losing my dream house. God, I remember the memories. Let's go through them. Remember that time I was in the hallway and I pointed it to the toilet and I said,

that's my poop in toilet. Ha ha ha ha. Ah, it's hard not to feel the sting from losing my dream home and shower with running water. Ah! So, Allie says, so then Allie's gonna do a chart because she, at the beginning of the year, I officially started my astrology business where I meet with clients and we look at their birth charts and I really interest, I'm interested in doing Schwartz's birth chart and I feel like it's,

it could be nice to put them on a path of direction. So it's gonna be a astrology chart and I'm Allie. So this is your natal chart. This is what planets we're doing and the exact place and time where you were born. See how like they kind of form a shape like they're holding their nose. It's like very unique. You seriously have the most Libra on a chart

that I've ever, ever seen. Oh wait, this is a crossword puzzle. No wonder why I was confused. You're so Libra right now. My God, Libras just want everyone to get along, you know? People need that, because like, someone has to be the people pleaser, right? And short, it's like, oh my god. I don't like that term

Was that offensive that I said that I hope I didn't offend you No, there's more good than bad cuz it helps with business Yeah, and James is like oh my fucking god. I just got a text. There's a pot hole on channel a bill of all everything's ruined I just got another text Tom Sandoval texted me. A James. What a cluster I've caused, eh? If you guys wanna come to my birthday, you can. Hold on, there's a voice note here.

Let me press that. Damn it, he sent a song invitation. I should know never to open those from Sandoval never ever ever so James is like are you going Schwartz he's like yeah I think I'm gonna go are they going to be prickly Prince that's little sounds I'm a little scared of those these days. I don't think so. Maybe I'll try to stop Popeye for an hour, one stupid dumb hour of stupid birthday. I mean, I'm not sure he even wants, if he's not gonna want to come at me, you know? He better not, he better not come at me, because if he ever came at me in his house, bro, God, I'm making a, I'm gonna egg that place, because guess what, I've got a good aim, I aim at four windows, eggs on the stupid, sly windows, stupid fucking eggs, I ain't

eggs anyway in the first place. I want it rated R. I want the alcohol. I want a blackout on tequila. Catch you when you fall. I want generally be hated by all your friends. What is this song? Too many lyrics. I cannot follow this. Okay. And what are you for 12? Who wrote this? I know who is And what are you 12? Who wrote this? I know who is who is who is having this rebellion right now. Also, whoever wrote this has not lived a day in my shoes.

I'm so sick of catching you when you fall, when you fucking blackout on tequila. I've had it with you. Okay. All of you, all of you who I've caught and you know that there's a bunch of you. I've caught when you're falling blackout drunk on tequila. I'm over it. Okay. Take care of yourself. I'm over it. Yeah, to carry yourself. I'm for I'm in my forties. Yeah, I'm really I'm over this vibe of the song.

So, um, Sandoval, they're sitting here for the party and Sandoval is like, and do you really get a great job with the balloons? Oh my God. Thank you. I mean, it's giving me like baby shower vibes but like I like it I like it yeah well thanks yeah babies I love babies I love showers love showers those are good you could use one of those you should take a shower I would be so proud of you you can do it I like that you like drew actual emojis

on the balloons like that's really cool, I don't think you expected them to stretch as much as they do, but like it was a good effort. Okay, thanks. Thumbs up or is that a thumbs down? Getting really, uh-oh, there they go. There they go, oh my goodness! She's in a thumb vortex. All right, I'll see you in 15 minutes when you sort that out.

Oh. So then he walks off while she's like thumb-warring herself. And then we get another song, Baby Want a Rock, I'll Take You To The Show. She does a line, she wants a little mo, 27 Club, feelin' just fine, comin' in sweaty for a good time. Now I've wrote all these lyrics, A, because they're insipid and I want them to die in a fire,

but also because they put 27 Club in here. Is this kissing 27S's ass? What's happening? Did 27S write this? The 27 Club is dark. That's like the musicians who die at the age 27. Oh, is that what that is? Mm-hmm.

That's what I'm assuming. That is dark, Trixie. Trixie, it's like blink, That is dark, Trixie. Trixie is like blink, blink, blink 180 Trixie. That is dark. Well, that blink 180 too is not dark, but like she's singing in the 180 too style. Cause it's Imanats. It's Imanats and Ariana and Katie are like doing makeup for it

cause they're gonna do some email stuff. And then we see James and Ally and James is like very nervous about this birthday party And they're like driving up and now it's like maybe we can turn around. I've never seen so much Libra in this car before It's gonna blow So I'm not turning around. I'm not you know I'm not trying to bend anything with Tom and that's for sure You know, I've yet to hear anything he has to say to me, you know what I haven't heard? You want to come to a pool party, James? I haven't heard that. What's probably many pool parties, but he's been happening there. I'm not invited. I'm not

invited. He's like spiraling out of control. It's so sad. He still just needs Tom's approval at the end of the day. I know. He's he's still trying to like make this pool party mission like he's still trying to like bring it up to the same level as area Arianna Ariana being cheated on it's like not only were you cheated on But I was iced out of poo pot is last summer. Can you believe it? There's two pretty big crimes I don't even argue that mine is as bad as yeah, it's like sorry the pool party thing I don't know it just doesn't hold the same weight. Yeah.

Can you set the stage a little bit so people understand what happened? In 1969, 14 black student athletes were kicked off their university's American football team for planning a show of support against racism. We were really protesting our treatment on the field. Amazing sports stories from the BBC World Service tells their story. We became brothers that day when he did that to us. We made a change. Fighting for what we deserve.

Search for amazing sports stories wherever you get your BBC podcasts. Oh, yeah! If you want it! Yeah! Mushrooms, here comes one right now. So he's like, so what do I need to hear from Santa Vol? Very simple. Really sorry what I did was absolute betrayal, but I work every day to come back from this. That's what I'm going to do.

I work every single day to come back from that. So he's like, I do need an apology and he needs some mean it. And then he goes, I mean, I haven't even seen the guy without a mustache in years. It's gonna be weird. It's gonna be weird. And then we get a flashback up. Yeah, we're with the mustache. So then we're at-

You know, I have to say, Tom, you would think that saving that mustache would have helped. It did not help whatever stank that mustache brought left behind didn't it? Yeah, I think it's Tom is now Yeah, he's he's gonna be going down a weird path now I feel like any moisture that was in Tom's face went into that mustache and stayed there. Like that's the only place that moisture would produce. It was like the picture of Doreen Gray, but moisture version and the mustache.

It was like, no matter what happens in his life, like the mustache retains all the moisture. Just makes sense. Yeah. It's so good. In his attic, there's a mustache that's very moist. I think that's what it is. Yeah, it's just somewhere.

I can stop now. It's just like rolling around in some moisture. It sounds like, ah, my face itches. So Tom is like, this is going to be my first time having a birthday party where I'm not drinking. And Jason's like, oh my god, that's crazy. Hey, remember that time? You had the birthday party on TV. And drinking. And Jason's like, oh my God, that's crazy. Hey, remember that time you had the birthday party on TV? And then like all those people came over

and you guys were like funny wigs. That was so cool, I love that. And Tom's like, but don't worry, I got some mushroom chocolates. And then Jason is like me, he goes, cool. Do you have any plain chocolate? Like I just want some chocolate right now. I just, well, I'll work my way up to the mushroom chocolate, but I'll say I just,

I just want some like Hershey's kisses right now that'll make me really happy. So, um, you know, it's gonna, you know, it's thirst might cause look who's first here. Billy Lee, ladies and gentlemen, Billy Lee. And Kyle Chan. And then Kyle Chan. Yes, and Kyle Chan. So Tom Sandoval was like, wow, so I do still have friends. Oh, God. And next is a parade of loners at the lunch table.

That's all I get. And listen, I was a loner at the lunch table. So these were probably people, you know, I was one of these people one time, but wow. So then we go to emo night. The girls are going to the club and Ariana's having a vodka redbell. And Katie's like, um, that's a vibe. And the promoters come down like, Hey, your playlist looks great. I'm TJ. And, you know, last time you guys crushed it. When you guys played Blink 182 and then followed that

by with dashboard confessional, I was like, so emo. So we're just looking forward to tonight. These two who are in charge of emo night, what would they do without emo night? I think these people were put on this earth to run emo night. Like what else are they even good for? Like they're too perfect for this.

What would I do, baby, without Emo? They're all greasy and pale and just like, this is their life, you know? You were born for this. Na na na na. Clip of Sheena's vlog. So we see a clip of Sheena's, oh vlog. So we see clips of last time and it's from Sheena's vlog. So we see a clip of Sheena's vlog. So we see clips of last time and it's from Sheena's vlog.

It's like, Emo, Emo, yeah, put your hands through the fucking ring, Emo. It's like no one told Sheena what Emo was then and they're not gonna tell her this time. They're just gonna let her go. Because I'm good as gold, because I'm sad as gold. So now we're back at Tom's birthday party and they, LOL, they put on screen a guy

that on the chiron says, Tom's vocal coach, which I know they put that on there just to be like, wow, sir, you have a thankless job, a very thankless job, or you are just very bad at it. So then Schwartz shows up and he has a cake. Well, I think people in vocal coaching need to be held responsible like bartenders. You know how it used to be called like,

oh, he got wasted last night. And now people say he was over-served, like taking any personal responsibility away from it. And then they go see the bar because the bartender over-served them. I mean, if we're allowed to do that, we should serve fucking vocal coaches for setting this shit loose on the streets too, you know? Yeah. And then Schwartz is like, Hey, I got you a cake. It says something on it.

And I swear to God, I thought I was gonna be a sweet lady, James cake. That says something about like Scandavalle or whatever. I was like, Oh, if he does this, that's gonna be a bold move. But it just said, happy 40th again. Ah. That's crazy. So let's see. Ali is like, I can't do this. I'm staying in the car.

I'm sorry, it's not very Libra of me. But I'm not really, I don't have a relationship with him and I love Ariana, so I don't like see the point in trying to force a relationship with someone. So James leaves her in the car like he's going on like a stakeout or something like that. He's like, oh, I'm going to go in. I'll signal you, listen on the radio, and if you hear anything, call the police. So he like knocks on the door and he comes in and Santa Claus like, do what's up? Come on in.

It's good to see you. Come on in. And so it's like really awkward. And James is like, Tom's party is a lot like a who's who? Like who the fuck are these people? It's not like going to Chicago and playing wiggie wiggie on a pizza. I know what I'm saying.

Tom used to be the coolest person on the block. Now look, your pool party is a stupid, stupid pool party. I don't want girls anymore. Yeah, this is the bad news bears for sure. So he's like, I can't stay long. All right, let's have a little chat. And he goes, sure bro, let me just grab something, be right back.

So then this guy comes over and he's like, hey, so I wanted to talk to you about the friend group situation. Like Katie has totally iced me out of everything. So just like, who the fuck is this guy? Because I don't know who you are, but you're not a DJ. You're not a cascade. So I don't want to talk to you.

Okay. I came to talk to Tom and if he doesn't want to talk to me, I mean, could you just get Tom for me already? These are the people on the periphery that the Katie won't let hang out with them. That Tom has to have with the party. This is like all the hangers on of this cast. It harkens back to season one when Stasi hung out with like the JV team when she got like mad at everyone in Vegas. And so she had like an episode where she's like, oh my God, I love you.

I love whoever you are, you busboy. Let's be best friends right now. You guys, no one better mess with Steve. That's Jesse, whatever. He's my best friend. I'll call him whatever I want. But that was so funny. James just looks at this guy and he's like, who the fuck is this guy?

I guess actually I'm here to talk to Tom if he's ever going to talk to me. Cause Tom excused himself, but then is now just talking to another group of people. So Brett's like, um, uh, his name is bright. Apparently he's like, um, I'm going to go and tell him that for you. So he goes to get him. He's like, just don't ice me out of the group, bro. Promise. for you. So he goes to get him. He's like, just don't ice me out of the grip, bro. Sam, I'm like, oh, so like, you want to go to the back? I just want to go right here.

Because like I was going to take it to the back, but like, I guess we're going to be in the front. Fine. So like, so how's their new house? Have any luck being able to record any podcast in there? Are there too many planes overhead? He's like, it's amazing. It's amazing. I can walk in the middle of the street and it's actually a walkway.

It's designed that way. Finally pulled the trigger. Is there a phonograph behind your head? Is that, what's this called, Ben? Phonographs? Is that what they're called? Phonographs. The players with the big ears.

With the big- Like a big troller. Yeah. Phonograph. The troller behind your head. One of those things. Actually, it's a white noise machine. Hold on.

Hold on. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So, he's like, well,, hold on. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So sad though. He's like, well, it's been one year.

So much has changed. So many poop eyes that I get to get to and you don't get to get to. Checkmate. And Sandra was like, yeah, like everything is like really changed. It's like, I feel like a big brother to me. He's gotten lost.

A big, stupid brother. And I was kind of expecting a text. You know what I mean? Like, and that never came. Oh yeah, well, I apologize for that, cause like I should have sent you a text, cause you know, James, I was very overwhelmed, okay? He goes, yeah, but like months, all right?

And then I've seen you on Instagram. I mean, you're out there, you're fine. And then we see clips of Tom like sweating over the crowd, like putting his hand out with like a neon lightning bolt. Yeah. Tom, who just feels so terrible about Sandoval, that he's got lightning everywhere in every picture. Singing songs about Rachel.

See guys, he feels terrible. So, buy the T-shirt. It's like, yeah, seriously. He's like, well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry that I didn't reach out anyway. And by the way, that's worth a lot. And if you want to pay me cash for that, that'd be great because I got some bills to pay.

He was like, are you sorry for betraying me? He's like, um, betraying you? Yeah, yeah, I'd like to betray you. He said to Paul, it's like, um, well, before I answer that question, I just want to say one thing. And this is like maybe why I was like so angry. Like when you did that shit with Kristen, he's like, oh, no, not doing that 10 years

ago. No, I couldn't do that. Tom. Tom is, I mean, so theoretically Tom has a point because like James did do this, but it was 10 years ago and what, Sandoval, if he were smart, he would say, he would have not said like, oh, well I didn't betray you because you did it to me.

He would be like, yeah, I did totally violate bro code and it was totally abuse of our friendship. And you know, maybe now you can realize why I was so upset those many years ago. And but what I did was on such a bigger level, da, da, da, da. Like he could still make his point, but he could do it in a way that's not like, well. To me, like you're done, that's 10 years ago.

You don't get to bring up a decade. And James was also 22. Yeah, and it's just the typical sound of all things. Like, oh really? But you, I'm betrayed people, you betrayed people. That's what he's gonna do to everybody you talk to him. He's gonna be like, oh really? But you, you, I'm betrayed people, you betrayed people. That's his, that's what he's going to do to everybody you talk to him. He's going to be like, oh really? But you betrayed me. Remember that time you betrayed me? Remember that time I got you a birthday present and you didn't get me one? Ultimate betrayal. I can't believe you. It is. So we're

even, right? Yeah, he has, I agree that Sanofal has no like to stand on with this, but I'm just saying if you want, if like, since he's like dead set on bringing that up, like there's a way to bring it up that's like more delicate. I don't think he deserves to bring it up and it's not really relevant to it, but I'm just saying like this is the worst way to do it. He's just. I don't know if this is an important point though.

He's just such a shit. I don't think this is, if you're gonna do it, just do it better. Yeah, just be better at it. I mean, basically like everything Tom does, you know, it's like he does it at the lowest level, basically. So James is like, now we're not talking about 10 years ago.

And he goes, it wasn't 10 years ago, James. And then we see a clip, 2013. There, yeah, 2013, 10 years ago. James referred to me as like his best man. And what does he do? Kristen starts banging him on my bed. But by the way, it also, if you're going to bring that up, it goes both ways. So you want, you want James to have like, you want James to empathize with you, Tom,

because in your mind, Tom, James did the same thing that you did, but how about it goes that you should have empathy for James because you know how it felt when that happened to you. So you should have some empathy for James, because that's what happened to him. So it goes both ways. Yeah. So James is like, that's ridiculous, Tom.

I'm not even going to entertain what you just said. And he goes, oh, that's very narcissistic of you to say. Thanks for stopping by. Bro. So now he's going to just take the word narcissist, which everybody's been calling him and to start throwing it out at other people. I mean, the ultimate and you are fighting, you know?

Yeah. You betrayed me. You are. You're a narcissist. and to start throwing it out at other people. I mean the ultimate in you are fighting, you know? Yeah. You betrayed me, you are. You're an artist. You are. I hate you. This chart is full of Libra. You are.

You are. It's like Libra's fighting. Tom wants to bring up the past. Tom wants to bring up the past and I'm looking for an apology for the now. Nothing makes it okay for him to be lying to my face for six months, outcast me from the entire group. Hashtag poo parties. Make me seem like I'm going crazy

or because he's getting his dick wet. So then outside he gets revenge by pissing on his bush. And Ellie's like, it's not just his house, it's also Ariana's house, James. And he goes, it's illegal to piss on someone's bush. And she goes, James, no. She knows. She's been with James long enough

to not even really try. She's like, James, no. Okay, well he's peeing on a bush again. Yeah, I was a good boy. I didn't even throw an egg at his window. So yeah, so that was the episode. Wild Times on Vandepomp Rules, always, always fun. Well, thanks everyone for being here.

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