Watch What Crappens - #232: Gossiping About Bravo Stars With Heather McDonald

Episode Date: October 27, 2015

Comedienne Heather McDonald ("Juicy Scoop", "Chelsea Lately") joins Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com, "The Banter Blender" podcast) at the Hollywood Improv to gab about Bravo for a while. We learn all about Heather's recent dinner with Tamra, Shannon, and other Bravo-lebrities; plus, we also find out what it's like to be friends with Tamra Judge. Along the way, there's plenty of discussion about Brooks Ayers, the Guidices, and even "Manzo'd with Children." For those of you looking for our normal recaps, tune in to the next episode, which will feature us reliving RHOC, RHONJ, Ladies of London, and Below Deck! Remember to check out our social media at watchwhatcrappens.com And support us at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com slash crappins. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by our premium Patreon subscriber and Christy Daugherty. Yay! Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me as always is the wonderful, the sweater-vested and hilarious Ronnie Karam

from TrashTalkTV.com. Hey, Ronnie. Sorry, just under-crossing my boots. He's under-crossing. This is very exciting. Ronnie and I actually put on pants for this podcast. And boots and a sweater. And we actually convened in the same location

because we are actually recording from the improv in Hollywood. Yeah, fancy. Famous people have been here. And we even have a famous person with us. Yeah, a, famous people have been here. we even have a famous person with us. Yeah. It is a real famous person who performs here.

Yes, I do. Thank you. She is the very funny, very hilarious Heather McDonald from the Juicy Scoop podcast, which,

with new episodes on Thursdays on Podcast One and this Thursday is, you have Chris Jenner as your guest. I have Kris Jenner as my guest this Thursday. So yeah, please subscribe. I've got, I think, 17 episodes up. And then this week will be a new one coming Thursday.

And I love doing it. It's really fun. That is really awesome. I get all the tabloids. Yeah. Kris Jenner is, that's like, the Kardashians are in the middle right now. I mean, the Kardashians are what keeping tabloids in print.

Yeah. Okay. If I get them all, I read them all. Yes. So that you don't have to. And sometimes a tabloid will have a conflicting story. Like Sandy Bullock's boyfriend. One was like, he's the worst person on earth.

And the other one's like, she's found her match. I read them both. He was kind of shady. He had a DUI. Okay. He had a of shady. He had a DUI. He had a young kid. He had some shit happen. But now he is pretty great. I like that a DUI and a young kid are equal terrible things.

Not that terrible. That's what I was saying. Like when I really read it, I said, no, that isn't that bad. He's sober now. And now he's still a hot babe. And they seem to be happy. So Sandra's okay. But I did the research.

Good. I evaluated it so that people at home can breathe. That should actually be the name of your podcast. I did the research. Yes. Justice. Hashtag justice with Heather McDonald. And by the way, being a hot babe really makes up for a lot of bad things in your past, I think.

Yes, definitely. And also Sandra Bullock will only date an asshole anyway. You know that, Jesse James? What, did she really think he was nice in the beginning? He probably peed on a tree on their first date. That guy's a pig. I think he was very aggressive with her. I think he really pursued her.

And I think a lot of guys don't have the balls to pursue Sandra Bullock. So I think she was like, shit, this guy really likes me. have the balls to pursue Sandra Bullock so I think she was like shit this guy really likes me and you know he often obviously hid his like sex addiction to um you know Nazi tattoo yeah I think he kept that on the back burner and like didn't let her know about it Nazis was that hidden was it like doesn't he have crazy tattoos or I mean I'm just assuming in my mind he has like you know no I don't think he has like misspelled Nazi things or like backwards swastikas. No. He's kind of dumb. That TV show he's on, his dad just yells at him.

I like that. That's the only way I know him. And also being mean to Sandra. I only know him from Celebrity Apprentice. Who cares? Sandra Bullock really needs to fall in life. Her station needs to lower so she can be on one of these shows. But you know what?

Speaking of Celebrity Apprentice. Yeah. I'd love to be on if someone can help me get on. Yeah. But I kind of liked when he was on, they were married. Yeah. But like he couldn't tap into that Hollywood world. That was the best.

All my friends are just mechanics from Long Beach. They're keeping it real. And it's like, you're married to an Oscar winner. Are we going to win this challenge or not? But that's what makes me scared is if I ever got on Celebrity Apprentice is I don't have that many rich friends. You have Zarin. Look get this i could get you a zarin i could yes i could get you a zarin some she would give me some money i have a couple rich friends that live in westlake village yeah i have some kardashians but i don't i feel like so much

of celebrity apprentice is about how much how rich your friends are and that's where I feel like it's a little unfair because it's not about like, I have a great marketing idea or a funny commercial I can write, but I still want to do it. Because it's going to be Arnold. We all win anyway. It's going to be Arnold. You win my fair charity. Well, first of all, you get paid.

Let's not bullshit anybody. You do get paid because you're going to be gone for weeks, so you should get paid something. But then you can win money for your charity. Right. Exactly. And, you know, the thing is where I get stressed, not that I would ever be on Celebrity Apprentice because I'm never even close to being a celebrity, but if in like a fantasy world I were.

They did podcast. I would do like Australian Celebrity Apprentice where they're like, and he's a gardener from America. Or whatever. Well, I would be concerned about like shooting my wad too early with asking people for money because the first challenge is always like,

oh, you have to work a hot dog stand and whoever earns the most money. So it's really like you have to call up everyone and be like, will you buy a hot dog for $45,000? But then after that, when they do like two more of those, I can't keep asking the same people.

I'm bummed that it's not gonna be Trump anymore because I liked it when Ivana and the one weird brother got involved. Like the one that was not like cute. And then Ivana or Ivanka would be out there and she'd be like, oh, welcome. You know, Nabisco is a really exciting snack cracker and I just want to know what your idea is about it. I like the color choices that you used and that you did a different, you used Sirocco on the Nabisco cracker and I think that was really quite inventive. I love the openness of your mobile home space that we've given you in Central Park.

Okay, great. I was actually a little bit disappointed in Dad about the, oh my God, so now it's going to be Arnold, so we'll see what happens. Yeah, I mean, okay. Put it out there, vote for me. Arnold is going to fuck all the maids on there. I know, it'd be so good.

I have to say. I feel like he could be like creepy flirty. I'm kind of excited. I know, but you know I like your challenge. You did good on the box challenge. As much as I think Donald Trump, like I would never vote for president. I think he's like crazy. I think The Apprentice is the

perfect venue for his craziness. Totally. There's just no one as good as Donald Trump in those situations. You're removing it. If that was what it took to good as Donald Trump in those situations. I know. You're remitting it. If that was what it took to run our country. Please let him be the president. By all means. Oh, my God.

Please let him win the presidency. He's so funny. But anyway, speaking. Let's get into the dirt. Let's get into Bravo stuff. First of all. You're remitting it. Do you want to plug your social media?

Yes. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Heather McDonald. Facebook at McDonald. Heather at.ald facebook at mcdonald heather at facebook is at heather mcdonald comedy and my website is heather mcdonald.net for all my live dates and i'll be in cleveland in a couple weeks in tampa in november so if you're from either one of those places please come see me on your social media this morning because i researched i researched for the show guys yeah It's a very neat show. But I wanted to see what you were up to so we could talk some shit.

So your friends, we knew that you're friends with all these housewives anyway. Well, a lot of them. Usually the ones we hate, let's be honest. But you're friends with so many of the Orange County ladies and you were just having dinner a couple nights ago with them. Oh, who did you have dinner with?

It was amazing. First of all, I've probably been friends with Heather. Oh, who did you have dinner with? It was amazing. First of all, I've probably been friends with Heather. I mean, Tamara Judge is probably the person I'm the closest with. Okay. We really are friends. We really talk on the phone. I really like her a lot. We just met through like, I think I eventually, I met Vicky first because Vicky knew my book agent and I was obsessed with the show.

Like when nobody else was watching it but probably you guys, I watched it. And I was like – I remember going – I was on Chelsea Lately and I was like, this is a hilarious show. We have to parody this. And they're like, no one is watching it. We don't know what you're talking about. And I'm like imitating Vicky back then like, we're going to Mexico. Like I was obsessed with everything about it. And so my book agent goes, hey, Vicky loves you.

Brianna thinks you're amazing. They're having a barbecue. Do you want to come over on 4th of July? The day after 4th of July. Yeah. And they're going to be filming. I'm like, great. Come over with the kids.

It is true that kids forget about the cameras. really is true because they they saw the slide and my kids just went up and down that slide the whole time and then tamra walks in she's like why do you look familiar i'm like oh i'm on the show you know chelsea lately whatever so we're talking at that time simon's there they're like fighting about ryan and then through those years i like would see her at things. Yeah, I'd see Tamara at things. And then we became friends and we became real friends where we'd like laugh and talk.

And then I went to her wedding. I've been to four televised weddings of reality stars. Oh my God. Yeah, because of course you must have gone to a party. Two are still married, two are not. Which ones?

Which televised? So Tamara. Tamara. Lance Bass. Oh, Lance Bass. So they're both still married, two are not. Which ones? Which two of us? So Tamra. Tamra. Lance Bass. So they're both still married. Does he count? He just got married like two seconds ago. It's going to be a year in December.

Ronnie is a cynic. God, it was beautiful. They did the mother-son dance and then switched the sons. That's every mother's dream, first of all, to have a gay son and do the mother-son switcheroo dance. I'm praying. And those are sons who will actually produce a gorgeous grandchild that they've genetically engineered through a hot surrogate who's read a lot of books. Exactly.

Yeah. And both the mothers were like equally attractive. Like it was just, it was beautiful. Yeah. So then, and then I had Kim Kardashian's Chris Humphrey wedding. Oh, that's a good one. And Khloe and Lamar. Oh, so you really, I mean, you really got, you got some really, I thought you were going

to throw NeNe Leakes in there. I was not invited to NeNe Leakes, unfortunately. That's all right. I've only met her once. Well, you got two high profile Kardashian weddings in there, which is very impressive. So anyway, I love going to weddings. I love televised weddings. I figure if someone's willing to pay for your wedding, why the fuck not?

Why the hell not? Do they move faster or slower? Do they have to reshoot going down the aisle and stuff? Kim's was great. Yes, it was a big fancy wedding. Yes, there are cameras. But honestly, I've been to fancy weddings where there's that many cameras and the person isn't famous.

You know what I mean? Because they're filming it. It was not disruptive. It was dark. Tamara's wedding was very nice, but it was brighter lit ballroom for the cameras. And that was the difference, but it was outside.

It was pretty. The people were fun. The table was fun. It was a good time. So what do you buy people like that for their wedding? Okay. I want to know the gifts that you got everybody. Um,

for Tamara, I got, um for tamra i got um i just went i went to neiman's and it was like this tequila or vodka like where you put the little shots and there's ice in the bowl oh you are a friend okay and then something like that so far you know tamra i imagine i feel like i would get one of those glasses that like it's like a margarita glass that says diva on it with like a little pink boa on the face. Yeah, but that's not a wedding gift. No, Tamara likes love. No, I just give it to her.

I just give it to her just for her. She won't say bye, Felicia. She won't say like bye, Felicia. She'll say – what does her shirt say? Something like, who is this Felicia and why is she always leaving or something like that. It's like the longest bumper sticker ever. It's like a paragraph. So anyway, so you went to dinner.

So you were at dinner with Tamara. Okay. So Heather Dubrow that i met through tamra but heather i remember from when we would go out for stuff together and she would always get it and i wouldn't in the 90s what did she call that heather page kent a lot of time in the in the hallways or something yes yeah yeah heather page kent and then there was heather mcdon Heather McDonald. And Heather Page Kent booked a lot more than Heather McDonald. But we were two brunettes the same age. So I knew who she was.

And so anyway, so then I think I was on Watch What Happens Live with Tamara the one time I was on. And I think I said that. And then that made her really like me because, you know, at the time Alexis was saying, I've never seen her on TV. No, no, no, no, no. like me because you know at the time alexis was saying i've never seen her on tv so then so then i had my first amazing night where we went to heather's house and had drinks champs oh and the the husbands my husband peter and terry and and eddie all of us went out to um mastros for dinner okay i i pretended I lived in OC.

I stayed at the Pelican Hill hotel. Okay. It was a dream come true. And then, then everyone at Chelsea lately was like, you know, you, I kind of secreted it. Like I liked,

I thought I could be friends with them and I am friends with them. I mean, you know, Chelsea Handler went on to be friends with Sandra Bullock and Jen Aniston. And I, this is the level I'm at and And I'm totally happy with it. I love it. So Heather goes,

hey, meet Shannon Bedore and Tamara and I at Craig's LA. Oh, right up here. Which if people are looking to see a star, go there during the week. Not Friday or Saturday. Go like a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And you will see. Well, this particular night was Bravo through up in there.

First of all, we arrive. There's a table of Bravo like marketing executive people there. So they send over a bottle of champs to us. And so it's the four of us plus Heather's assistant, who's a very nice girl. So we're shooting the show. And it is just like the show. Megan King-Edmonds is coming up. Shannon didn't know that they were taping her when she got that call.

She thought, I thought it was my private cell phone. They never told me they were filming. I said, who is that? I've got my kid in the car. I didn't know they were filming. I didn't know who she was. I had kids in the car. I told my husband. He told me. I told my husband.

He goes, they must cast people who like to repeat themselves a lot. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, really bringing up the... So, yeah. We talked about that. We talked about Brooks' cancer, of course. And then, who shows up? Mauricio. Kyle's husband. Like coincidentally at a different table.

He was having drinks. He's entertaining clients from Miami. How are you, ladies? Ladies? Yeah. Got lots of kisses. Had some fun conversation then that he left. Then Terry Kim's, Terry Dubrow, he and Heather are like kissing and stuff, very into each

other and very horny for each other. I asked her later, I go, did you like get it on in the car on the way home? She's like, no, he fell asleep two minutes later. I'm like, well, it was very horny acting for the table. I never really thought of her like that because she seems like so icy or together, not icy, but like together. I never really like sexual, well, I mean, I don't really sexualize any of the housewives. They were horny for each other.

It was like nice to see, quite honestly. No cameras around. She's like, if you want a happy marriage, here's what you need to do. Have sex with your husband. Who said that? Heather? Heather. She's like, you need to have sex with your husband.

Make time. I think they definitely do it an appropriate amount of time for a 15-year-long couple. Well, they do have like four kids, so those don't come out of nowhere. Usually. Well, they do have two little frozen eggs on the etched glass thing. I have some eggs. She's like, I put something in the drawing, Terry, of the tree on the glass etched door. It's two little eggs under the tree.

Because you know she made that glass tree to represent her family. I know, the eggs. So the little nest, which I love. And I told her family. I know, I know. The eggs. So the little nest. And then, which I loved. And I told Terry that. I go, my husband has never laughed harder at Real Housewives except during that scene. He could completely relate to Terry. Right.

Because when Terry tried to say. During the tree scene? And I said, and Heather, you were so pissed. She goes, still haven't watched it yet. Still haven't watched the scene yet. Terry's like, I haven't watched it either. I'm like it really isn't that bad

it's kind of funny you guys might want to watch it like and you know because I that happens to me like when my husband starts going down a path that I know I'm going to get upset

I'll be like I don't want to hear it but I stop I don't want to talk like or if I ever have to do a performance or anything that night

I can't get in a fight with him because I talk about them so much on stage and I just can't be like in a real mean mood. Stop it. Stop it. Wait till tomorrow. Put a pin in it. That's the best way to do it, right? Just ignore. People say that you should really

express your feelings and learn how to communicate and I think that that is such bullshit. Learn how to take it and be quiet. Or I just know I can't get up. I can see where it's going to lead and I just can't get into it right now because it's going to put me in a mood that I can't get out of and I've got an audition or I have something get up. I can see where it's going to lead me. Yeah. And I just can't get into it right now because it's going to put me in a mood that I can't get out of it.

I've got an audition or I have something going on. So then Dr. Nassif comes in. Oh, wow. He joins the table. Okay. And he's been on my podcast and I love him. I think he's so weird and funny. I gave him so much shit.

I love that guy. Only husband who can talk trash about the other housewives and not look like a bitch. So far, he's the only one who's done it. He's like come out looking okay still. Well, it's like everyone loves Terry Dubrow and because they make women beautiful. So if you're watching Housewives, you've got to love the plastic surgeon husband. Like that is a dream come true. Also, they're usually so wealthy that they have so much sort of power going on in their own lives that they don't really need to be famous uh

as like a cutaway on a housewife show so they can sort of say whatever they want like whatever yeah get mad at me i don't care i've got my money because i'm earning right it's more entertaining when they're legitimate like rich and don't need it um when they get all desperate and cloying that's when it gets kind of awkward to watch. When they're doing it just for the paid. I think that's why Brandy got in trouble. She was always trying to make shit for the cameras. Oh, she knew what she was doing. She was very calculating.

I think with what happened when she revealed that Adrienne had used a surrogate, from the info that I've dug up in my investigation, is that that was something that she had shared with the girls and said I don't want on the show when they've been off camera. I don't want this

being revealed on the show. And they all knew that and Brandy said it. Yeah. And then they were like so she knew what she was doing. And it became the whole season. And that's why Brandy was annoyed

because they were all acting shocked when they all knew. Yeah, but the thing they were shocked is like she was doing and that's why brandy was annoyed because they were all acting shocked when they are they all knew yeah but the thing they were shocked is is like she was our friend who said don't reveal that you know i mean yes we're doing a reality show but like you ask people to do but she was at least still good in that season because that was true like the other stuff she does isn't even true she'll be like well so uh like the stuff she just she just makes up all these lies like the she was living in Calabasas. Lisa was living in Calabasas or the magazines in the thing. I feel like Brandi tried.

What were the lies that she was telling? Yeah, I just feel like she tried too hard. Like, I understand if she wants to, like, you know, ruffle feathers, that's fine. But she she sort of overdid it. And, you know, the whole the whole to do about the magazines and Palm Springs. I mean, that was so ridiculous. It was so over the top. I know.

So it's like, come on. Yeah, they're just poor, so you don't care. Like Lisa Vanderpump, she can do whatever, you know. I love her because she doesn't give a shit. Although she was selling those weird fuzzy bear things on the QVC the other day. I don't like seeing her hawk stuff in grocery stores. What was the bear? It's like, you're rich.

What are you doing here? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I mean, she really was the smartest one about this whole thing because she already had an actual product that could benefit from television. I mean, you go into any of those restaurants

and it is just, hey, when I need an EcoBose, remember that scene in- From Soap Dish? Yep, Dish. Let's go to the mall. It's like, let me go to pump yeah where do they go trenton but i go to pump because there will be you know people visiting that will

absolutely go there and if they watch bravo then they know who i am because they watch e yeah and so that's where i go if i need an ego boost for dinner darling pump is the only restaurant in west hollywood with fat people with bad parents. It's the only one because they're all there to see Lisa. To see Lisa and Heather McDonough. I get my ego boost at Fresh and Easy. I just walk around and feel good about myself.

That cereal recognizes me. For the next two weeks before it goes out of business. You think Fresh and Easy is going out of business? It's officially going out of business. Because nobody wanted Fresh and Easy food? People want things

that are old and hard. if it's like in a weird, it's like, it's like, by the way, Fresh and Easy is the greatest, greatest supermarket

and Americans, because it's British, Americans were like, no, we don't like this. It's like too impersonal. Like too impersonal, it's like cheap

and like so you can get in and out of there so quickly. Well, it's like going to a farm where they wrap everything in saran wrap. Like, I'm not going through those corn stalks. It's like too impersonal. I'm like too impersonal. It's like cheap and like so you can get in and out of there so quickly. Well, it's like going to a farm where they wrap everything in saran wrap. Like I'm not going through those corn stalks. It's like here's a bell pepper, but it's like individually wrapped. And then there's some weird machine, but then there's still a person standing there to give you dirty looks while you use it. Have you seen the people at Ralph's?

What are you doing? Have you seen the people at Ralph's? Do you want those people rifling through your cilantro? No. I'm glad for the plastic wrap. They do anyway. I go to that Whole Foods. It's rich people, homeless hands in there eating the salad.

Well, I'm actually very sad because the fresh and easy that I go to, Martin Lawrence Ballard from Million Dollar Decorators. Again, went to his house, hung out with him. Also, so much a friend of mine. Fabulous. His office is just a few buildings down from here. He has a fabulous house in Palm Springs that used to be Frank Sinatra's old house. Whoa.

And I want to, some other, I don't know if it was Jane's Manfield. It was some other, like several stars. Roger Moore from 007, you know, he was one of the owners. So no, he kept the whole 60s aesthetic but then redid it and it's gorgeous and it's in palm springs is it all like um is the aesthetic all sort of like zebra print meets like you know yes india yes it's a little bit celebrates the he celebrates like his niche like that rustic exotic it's like the gay palms because you know it's like this will be gay Palm Springs.

This gay Palm Springs will be having anal sex with the real Palm Springs. It'll be that gay. Yes, it was really good. I imagine mosquito netting, like decorative mosquitoes. I was doing stand-up at a place called the Copa Room in Palm Springs. And so I spent the- Of course there's a Copa Room in Palm Springs. Yeah, so I rode my bike to Trina Turk,

and I bought Palm Springs outfits. And I stayed at... Oh, God, where was it? I forgot the place we stayed. No. I know you like the cookies. Just listen to your... We stayed at a very nice place that I can't remember.

One of these cheeky, she-she place. It wasn't Ace. The Parker? There's Ace Parker. What's the other one? Viceroy? Viceroy, yeah. Okay, there.

So then stayed there, which is very nice. Rode the bike to Triniturk. Then went to his house. Had the drinks at the pool. It was a Palm Springs delight. I'd imagine you guys would stand under one of those air vaporizer things that they have in the heat where they just lightly spray you with water. Let's stand under the vaporizer, Heather. Tell me about you.

I love it. I love his voice. Love that out. It's just so melodic. Okay, you guys, we're missing a lot of stuff. Okay, sorry, go ahead. Dinner with these housewives. Okay, so then, to ask me any questions.

Now, the two days ago, but two days ago or three days ago. Oh, by the way, Kathy Hilton and Nikki Hilton then came by the table, too. It was out of control. Go on. This is like a wet dream for me. I mean, it was like. You guys are trying to insert Kathy Hilton into the best story in Broadway history. Okay, go, go.

So, Shannon Bedore, the other day, was at some, I guess, football game. Yes. At USC. At USC. And I went to USC. So, I have scoop on this. Oh, right on. Yes, I do.

And did she tell you? Yes, that's what I'm asking. No, don't say. So, I'll have to address to. No, don't say it. So I'll have to address to the people who don't know. Ask me anything and I will explain. So just for the people who haven't read the story. So she goes to this football game with David, David, David. How many of these football touchdowns have you seen?

So anyway, she goes to the football game with David and the mistress is there. So it turns out that this mistress is some huge fame whore who's just like trying to bone David and get on every show in the world because of it. And so she's taunting Shannon. So according to the story they see each other they try and ignore each other then they bump into each other coming out of a tunnel which whatever which absolutely could happen and then they started uh yelling at each other and then in the middle of the game shannon stood up in the game in the raptors and turned around to everybody and said, that's the woman who slept with my husband! Wait, where did you hear this story? It was reported first in Us Magazine. But I happened...

It's called history, Heather. I did my research today also. She went on to Entertainment Tonight, I think, last night. She and David did. And she verified it. She told the whole story. What did she say? She's like, you know what?

I saw her. She bought season tickets in our say? She's like, you know what? I saw her. She bought season tickets in our section. And I said, you know what? Enough of putting up this front. I'm just going to let it loose. And so I stood up and I said, this is the woman who slept with my husband. And she said it. It's true.

She said all this stuff. And it's apparently this very awkward section in the USC stadium right now. Okay well first of all I went to USC. Okay. I love going to USC games. Yeah.

The first time I met Shanna Bedore Tamara invited me to be Shanna Bedore's guest and my husband. She's like the new housewife went to SC and has tickets.

Do you want to go to the USC UCLA game? So they hadn't started filming and you know I was just asking her questions. She's and has tickets, do you want to go to the USC-UCLA game? So they hadn't started filming. And, you know, I was just asking her questions. She's older than I am. So we weren't there at the same time.

But there's certain people that were in her grade. Going to SC games post-college was the greatest, like, nightclub experience I could have. Like, I would get ready on a Saturday like in my 20s. I would get completely cute. I would day drink. I would make out with people oftentimes afterwards. I would dry hump.

I love an SC game on a hot September day with a good buzz. Okay. This is my thing. But now I have kids. My husband didn't go to SC. We don't go that often. But if someone could hook me up with some great seats like the Badoors, fantastic. We go to the Cardinal and Gold thing before.

We drink. We have fun. So they have had these seats for a long time in this section. But what I have found out today, and I did not know that story happened. I don't know how I'm missing it. She didn't mention it at dinner. Or maybe it was dinner before. No, dinner was last week. It was Wednesday.

Before USC came. Was the mistress's husband went to SC and is my friend's fraternity brothers. So they were in the same house together. So he went to SC and his family has a lot of money. And his family has a lot of money. So in defense of this woman, who I do think is horrible, and I do think she went after David, but takes two tango, blah, blah, blah. He went to SC too.

I don't know if she went to SC, but he went to SC. They have money. Everybody that's into SC buys season tickets and goes. And the section that they're in is a very nice section to be in. So I don't know. He may have bought bought the tickets his parents might have bought the tickets i don't know that this girl went and if she never are they never supposed to go to a game again no they said that she was actually taunting her like she was she was saying stuff with the husband yes like the husband's on her team or something what did husband released a statement. What did he say? They were fucking with Shannon the whole time apparently because she wants to get on the show, which she probably will.

Let's face it. It's Bravo. They'll hire her in two seconds. She's cute. I don't know. Do you think they would? She would, yeah. Do you think Bravo would be – because you know Rebecca Romaine Stamos, who was on Watch

What Happens Live, it was right after they had done their main interview, just the Bedores with Andy. This is when people didn't know, because it had happened before, that they said, we saw this woman at an event that she knew we'd be at. We go to it every year. So Rebecca Romaine Stamos interpreted that as,

it's a big charity event, or Shannon's the hostess of, like it was a PR event that they knew Shannon was going to be at. We watched this. I'm like, Peter goes, wait a minute. You mean that the place that the mistress was at taunting her was 90,000 people at a USC game? Yeah. Like, I love Shannon, but like, I mean, it's a huge coliseum, and you might run into people. Like, you do see people. He wasn't exactly on Craigslist.

He was, like, he, like, literally walked outside and saw someone. You know, they're never supposed to go to another game. And Shannon is a bit sensitive. I mean, this is the woman who did freak out about being called on her private cell phone. She had a piece of psychological debris stuck in her butt. Like, literally. Okay. Okay, so wait, wait, wait, wait.

What did this husband say? So he basically released a statement along the lines of like, Yes, dear. What my wife did or whatever hurt both of our families, and we just hope that both families can recuperate, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so Kevin Frazier read this to Shannon, and she was like, Well, this is the first time I've ever heard her have any sort of remorse, so I appreciate that.

And then she's like, But you know what? I don't heard her have any sort of remorse. So I appreciate that. But you know, da, da, da. And she's like, but you know what? I don't think about her. I don't think about her. Then even Kevin Frazier was like, now, come on now, Shannon. All you do is talk about her. She's like, well, I'm in a reality show. Da, da, da, da.

Maybe you're right. Maybe they do want to be honest. I only think about her with my Instagram page. Well, I mean, don't you think that Bravo would look pretty awful if they brought her on? As good as the TV would be. Of be, as much as the world wants it. They're shooting the Jewdices. They don't care. Are you kidding?

They're literally shooting a show around somebody calling for five minutes a day. To announce that there are dildos in prison. Well, I mean, if she came on, how could Heather and Tamara act fake and go have lunch and go to her candle making party? I actually think that would be a hard – I think it would be too hard. You might have an issue where the cast refused to film with her. It's one thing to bring on the Judaic's in-laws when you knew Teresa was jealous of Melissa.

That's one thing to bring them on. That's pretty low though. But still, that's one thing to bring them on. It's another thing to bring a mistress when there are kids involved and all that stuff. I actually don't think they'll go that low. I really don't. Bravo did fire Kim Richards.

If Bravo wanted to go low, that's true. It's not because of moral. She was on meth and drugs the whole time. But when Rebecca brought that up, she goes, clearly this woman wants to be on the show. Aren't you thinking about putting her on? And Andy was like, oh my God, I've never even thought of that.

I'm like, you may not have because now you're just a TV personality. You're not running the show like you used to. But I'm like, I'm sure someone is like, hey, you know, we'd love to hear your side of the story. If they're giving Brooks one hour interviews, maybe,, maybe America would like to hear from Nicole and her... Oh, my God. We have to talk about the OC reunion

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in a store. Yeah. Get you some Texture, y'all. That Brooks interview. That guy, he was... He was on Coke

or something, right? Yes, he was doing that. And this is like a terrible thing to say, but what's that disease with the head bobbing? Okay, he did an E interview. For like an hour. E-T. And then he did the-

E. And now he's doing the Andy one that they teased. Yeah. Yeah. He looked geeked up on something. Yeah, he was doing like the full-on like coat. You know the Coke jaw where the jaw cracks? It was mixed with like the Parkinson's.

It just, he looked. The jaw, that weird jaw thing. He was speaking fast. He was really fidgety. It just, something seemed not right. The whole thing was so. Nervous, lick-lipping. Watching that, I was like,

because he's done these interviews before, and he's usually calm. There is something about him. It's almost like Bill Clinton-ish that you want to believe everything he says. He's so convincing. Because the calmness and the politeness and the southern drawl about the way he tells his story,

you're like, yeahoke you never said anything until you look at that tone but then if you listen to his words he's never saying anything he's saying like he's a charlatan a charlatan a montabank reason of the uh literature looking through the pleasing of the thank you ma'am it's like what well let me tell you something about manners when you're having a drink with someone and their daughter says do you want an ice cube and i politely said no and that's what started the fight you're like what what that's why brianna hates you because you didn't want an ice like it just comes out like really that's it and i showed her my dick but the ice cube was really the real issue.

Well, that was the gift I gave her. But you know, so actually on Starcasm.net, which I looked at this morning, they had, apparently Brooks is employed at a place that generates medical records. So it's adding further shadiness to his medical records. The biggest shock here is that he's employed. Yes, when he was like, I could not make the reunion because of business commitment. I'm like, really? Because of work, I couldn't make it work.

No, let's work on that. Stop saying work. What's wrong with him? So we actually have a question. So on our podcast, we are supported by Patreon. And people who support at the $5 level get to submit questions. Great. Asked on the podcast.

Awesome. So this one is from Teresa Marovitch. She says, hi, Ben and Ronnie. And by extension, Heather. I want to know the impact of Brooks saying he had the CT PET scan at Newport Imaging and Megan's phone call saying that they don't do that there. I heard they may sue him for using their letterhead or otherwise disrupting business. Let me extend my neck by two feet. You have a real house that's open. And I want to be Megan.

I'm looking into it. Yeah. Also, hippo laws. Another term that we could not have heard more of this season. Hippo laws, cancer. And I'm not even sure the hippo laws things have been used correctly. Because I think it's okay for Megan to call up and ask, do you guys perform PET scans? That's not a violation of HIPAA laws.

But, you know, Vicky's like, HIPAA laws, HIPAA. I hope that Housewives gets so deep that we actually, like, study law to find out what they're fucking talking about. Listen, he did not have cancer. He had some scare. You know, and that's another thing that's happened in the Real Housewives um franchise along with a lot of going to jail yeah a lot of bankruptcy a lot of infidelity is um do you have cancer do you not when you did who visited you it's so much of that it's like remember when kim zoliak tried to say she had cancer at the reunion that is why she originally got her wig yeah and he's like what are you Zoliak tried to say she had cancer at the reunion? Yeah. That is why she originally got her wig.

Yeah. And he's like, what are you better? Well, I didn't have the cancer. I sat in a Chili's parking lot and I really thought this was it. And then they said, no, it's something else. Yeah. So I'm like – I found out Chick-fil-A uses hydrogenated oil.

I personally – I do this thing every time I have a birthday. Yeah. I started about five years ago. And someone would say, oh, happy birthday. And I'd be like, thank you about five years ago and see someone who would say, oh, happy birthday. And I'd be like, thank you. I'm 40 and cancer free. And, um, I, cause I've never had cancer and I'm like, why don't people celebrate being

cancer free? Because I've never had it. Why does it take like a double mastectomy to have you like walk, you know? So I'm always like very grateful for it. So I feel like, and I'm not making fun of it. I'm saying like, be grateful for every day you don't have cancer. I'm not making fun of it. I'm saying like, be grateful for every day you don't have cancer.

I agree with you. I say that because so many people have cancer. So if you're like, hey, I'm 40 and cancer free, they're like, awesome, I have a lump in my breast.

Happy birthday, bitch. I'm saying why can't you appreciate, I appreciate that I've never had it. So I'm saying like, you appreciate if you're rich, but you can't walk down

the street being like, I'm 40 and rich. Thank you. Happy birthday to me. How about I'm 40 and my house hasn't been foreclosed? Why can't you be grateful for what you have is what I'm saying. I'm not making fun of anything. I'm saying

I always feel like, no, I just want to say I never wanted to be... Celebrities are always in charge of a – their charity is always something, a disease that struck them or a family member. So I'm always like, well, why not maybe find one you don't want to have? Like maybe the odds wouldn't be – I don't know. Positivity, you're saying.

Like positive. Like just be positive. Listen, it's the same. I'm with Heather. I'm with Heather. It's the same as saying I'm 40 and I'm in good health. Thank God. Yeah, be grateful.

And every year – and the reason I really did start doing that is because one time I was watching Oprah, which is amazing. And Olivia Newton-John was on and she goes, Olivia Newton-John, I can't believe you're turning 50. How does that feel? Are you freaking out or something? And Olivia Newton-John goes, no, because I had cancer and I lived. I never thought I'd see 50. And that's where I started doing the every year and going, I'm never going to be sad when I have a birthday because there's so many people that never make it to this age.

And so anyway, getting to the cancer thing, I think what happened with him is he did have some type of ailment at one time. Yes. And he saw the attention it brought him. Yep. at one time. Yes. And he saw the attention it brought him.

Yep. And then he could very easily facilitate that it's come back, that he's had a relapse. I have a brother-in-law who has the non-Hodgkin's disease. Right. And he is out of the woods now. But I saw what he looked like during chemo.

There were other things that came from it. Like he almost got neuropathy in his fingers. My friend has worked at a mill. And actually it's gotten a lot better. He's actually a dealer in Vegas and had to like switch jobs and everything. And now he's back being a dealer. So it was really amazing. And this guy is a great guy, but he was really negative.

He was not using like positivity to get better. I mean, there were things about it. I was like, I wish he was more positive. Anyway, he's doing a lot better, but I saw how debilitating it was. And my dad went through chemo too. So I think anybody, which is about everybody, everybody knows someone with cancer.

So I think all of the girls that all have seen someone, Megan being the one mainly saw it and knows that you are like, sometimes it's like four days after chemo. That's your worst day. So, you know, everybody has a different, but the fact that he's just like, uh, I days after chemo that's your worst day so you know everybody has a different but the fact that he's just like uh i did the chemo yesterday and then i took a shower

and i'm gonna make it to the candle making there's a lot of that that goes around not only on bravo but it's the kind of world where people will just say they have shit now it's happening all the time i know a girl the attention um it's called munchausen's by proxy right yeah well that's when you actually get sick though no no no munchausen's by proxy, right? Yeah. Well, that's when you actually get sick, though. No, no, no. Munchausen's is like, you know, from Sixth Sense where the woman made her kid sick and she wanted the kid to be sick. Oh, right, right, right. So that she gets the attention of a mother.

But now with all these GoFundMes and stuff, people are finding that they're doing it. Yeah. And they're getting money. They're saying, I have cancer or my kid has cancer. And people give money online and nobody's sick. And it's really, really gross. Yeah. And they're getting money. They're saying, I have cancer or my kid has cancer and people give money online and nobody's sick. And it's really, really gross. Yeah.

And I think that, you know, I mean, uh, Brooks, the whole thing is so shady and we, we've mentioned this before on the podcast, you know, we cover the show, blood, sweat, and heels. I don't know if you ever saw that one, but one of the realtors, uh, no, uh, no, it's like one, there was one black realtor? There was, yeah, Melissa Ford. But Daisy on that show, she had liver cancer. And she is one of the few Bravo stars we've seen who actually has cancer.

She's going through it. No, for real, because everyone always has cancer scares. I mean, I get it. I'm like an almost cancer survivor because I think everything I have is cancer. But it never is. But I had a headache yesterday. I was like, uh-oh, but the thing, but it never is. But it's, uh, I like had a headache yesterday. I was like,

Oh, this is it. I'm not even joking. I'm not even joking. Well, it's been fun. It's been, it's been this many years cancer free and now I'm 40 and I have a

headache, but Daisy, but Daisy, but Daisy actually had cancer. And over the course of the season, you see her getting chemo and radiation. And you see the toll it takes on her. And I know that it's different for every person.

No, it's pretty bad for most people, though. I mean, it's really like you're out of commission for a few days. Exactly. And so for Brooks to say, if he says, oh, well, I'm stopping chemo because it's not reacting to chemo, well, that's fine. But if you're not showing any other symptoms, the rest of your body isn't either. You may actually know this doctor, Heather. Because that doctor did the cellulite treatment for Heather. And he was trying to stick it like,

you may actually know this doctor, so you may want to shut the fuck up when you realize that what I'm going to say is bullshit because I'll reveal that you had a dimple the size of a quarter on your ass before you met this doctor, and the world will know. Heather has butt zits. In a weird way, I think we almost have to admire Brooks for having such huge balls to go onto national TV

with a fake disease that could be so easily debunked. And a huge dick. And a huge... Apparently, Girth Brooks is a pretty great dick name. Well, that's good to have on your resume. To be fair, there already is a gay porn star

named Girth Brooks. That's the point. Is he going to go on Andy Cohen? Oh, I thought you knew who the porn star was. I was like, yes, Heather, yes. Girth is huge. Although, I do get the double pun of it, Girth Brooks.

I'm getting that now. Would you be offended if I showed you Girth Brooks right now on the internet? Because we're connected. You could actually see his girth. Keep your husband on his toes. He'll be like, love your outfit. We do the research also. Here's some research. Oh, by the way, there are straight men in the room. So straight men, be careful. There is going to be

a picture of a gay pornstar naked. Don't assume. You don't know everybody's straight in here we're in a red like everybody in hollywood like feels a little bit like a bordello in here it's quite an assumption you're making yeah images girth images they need a whole section of google girth images um you know what would be an amazing reality show storyline yes what and this is what I'd like to see happen. I give a lot of great, amazing ideas out on podcasts. People should listen to mine. Movie ideas, everything.

I just throw them out there. I don't register with the Writers Guild. I just let whoever wants to run with it. I'm never going to get my shit together. So why don't you go on a reality show? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt

to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success.

If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For for Real I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Conscious Lee what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction

MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more.

She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Being cast as the sassy gay guy. And then it gets revealed he's a fucking liar. He's been getting pussy since he was 10. I would love that.

I would love that. Yes. And then it's like, how dare you? I work for the LBGTQ. How dare you pretend to be gay? I saw you eating out Megan King Edmonds. We are going to reveal. We can't even get that mad anymore because now it's the LGBTQ.

This isn't even a naked picture. I don't know if the internet is blocking me or what. They might have a no dick policy here. Did you type in growth brooks penis? This does nothing for me, by the way. It's like in underwear. Google images will not give you naked pictures automatically. You just have to sort of really take that.

How else are they worth a billion dollars? Whatever search engine gives you dick should be the richest, okay? I'm rooting for you, Yahoo. I will take care of it. See, here we go. Okay, I'm sorry. That's my new thing, so. I want that to happen.

I want someone to get cast on a reality show as, like, such a funny gay guy, and then the other cast members find out. And he's the most beloved, and then it finds out he's actually been faking being gay. And I'm going to write that movie. Nobody take it. You know, I love a gay scandal. Oh, my God. Yes, I'm not giving you a max. You know what I also told Tamara?

I'm not giving you a max. But I also told Tamara, I go, listen, another thing you need to keep aware of is, um, as you age and you need reading glasses, make sure that you call the restaurant before, see the menu before,

know what you're going to order. Because when you all whip out those glasses and, and, and Shannon Bedore's glasses, she does a real like old lady thing with her glass. Yeah. Yeah. Ronnie calls up the Hillary Clinton glasses.

And like, just act like you don't need them. That is so big. I just clenched my own vagina and butthole. Oh my God. That's a big boy. You see, it's not all in the face.

That's why some ugly people have such confidence. The dick. Yeah. I actually liked, look, I love looking at, um, gay porn.

You do? That's so funny. I don't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it's like, I don't think many people are like that, but like I, I get off on it. Like I love it when it's in a TV show,

like a secret gay thing. Like you don't know that the characters are gay. And then all of a sudden guy goes and they act like they're mad at each other. It's like, Hey, no, listen to me, man.

Listen to me, man. And then they start making out. I fucking love it. I'm like, do it, do it. I fucking love I'm like do it do it I love

I love like the old school I love like the old school like hey I'm the plumber I'm coming over to fix your sink and then he's under there and then Spritz is like oh shit

don't worry we can dry that here give me your shirt and it's like oh now the plumber's shirt that's my favorite one I go crazy that's like my favorite

that is my favorite one by the way Shannon Bedore is the, the mistress's husband. They said he was a plumber and he's really cute. And I go, how is he? But like I said,

no, he's not. His family owns a huge plumbing thing. He's not a plumber. He was a USC fraternity boy. They're like fake blue collar. Yeah. So,

but I thought that when I first heard that, I go, this is so weird. Like, how did the two of them get together? She's like this executive and OC and they have all this money and he was just a plumber? Like, it just didn't make sense. I'm like, maybe he has no education. That's why he's staying with her even though she cheated with David Dorn. No. He's rich.

They're both rich. They both probably just have an understanding or something. I really resent my parents for being so fucking lazy and like all these people born into so much money i mean my dad went to work what the hell well um you wouldn't be this funny if you'd come from a lot of it didn't come from poverty it came from fatness thank you though and early onset gayness you're not fat did you lose a lot of weight up and down eating disord. Eating disorder. Oh. I'm a binge eater. You are?

Uh-huh. So fun. Let's do it together one day. Come on. You could use a break. No, I can't. You'll remember why it was so terrible back then. So I have a question.

Getting back to the housewives. Yes. No! I want to talk about my eating disorder. Yes. We're the same thing. No. So here's a question about Tamara. You're very my eating disorder. Yes. We're the same thing. No. So here's a question about Tamara.

You're very close with her. Yes. Now, the thing is with Tamara is that, you know, she comes off not always so great. She a lot of times is considered the villain. We make fun of her a lot on this podcast. And we're not the only ones. People are like, Tamara, Tamara, Tamara. I still don't think she's a villain.

I mean, people love to hate her you know but how is it for you knowing her on a personal level when you hear people talk about like Tamara whatever she's just nasty trailer trash whatever are you just like you get defensive over her or do you sort of like well I get it because they see one thing on TV or whatever you know like well for one thing she's like the one that's the least imitated because I think she's kind of like the least of a character like I think she's just um the most real to me like I think she's like the most real I think she's honest about it about her life and her mistakes and um you know like I remember like years ago she's like yeah someone wants me to write a book I mean what the fuck am I gonna write a book about like she's just like not she I think she's like the least full of herself to be quite honest because i mean i think she's

like been through so much with the divorces and and ryan and you know simon and all that that i just don't think that like i think she's really grateful to be on the show i think she likes it i think she has fun with it but i actually think she like her ego is in check in relation to housewives that's what i think yeah she doesn't seem to have like a huge she doesn't seem to be like full of she's not she's definitely not like don't you know who i am there's nothing like that she definitely stirs the pot she stirs the pot because she knows how to do a tv and like you know like She was telling me she did not want her baptism on TV. I'm sure. And they came to her

and now she did not say this. She's like, they came to me and I was like, okay, now I'm interpreting this. She says, okay, because she's smart and she wants to be a good employee and she wants to be asked back and she wants to give them what they ask for.

And she sees other people that are not as easy and they don't get asked back. And she likes being on the show and she wants to be pleasant. With producers and stuff. That's what I believe. We always say that the thing with Tamara that sort of makes her kind of amazing

is that every season, she always knows the right person to go after. If you want to compare her to Brandy, Brandy overplaying it or going too hard and then losing her spot on the show, Tamara always seems to, always is on the, like whoever she goes after,

it's always right in the center of the show. Now that we know everything with the affair, the whole hot pot that Tamara got into last season was that Shannon Bedore, Shannon shared something with Tamara and she shared it with, with Heather. And that is what made her supposedly like the villain of all villains, which now we know they all knew about it.

They all knew about it. And it was like, she did still go to Heather and say, she's got, they're having a divorce and I'm really – or he's cheating. She still did do that. Like they made it sound like last night she was framed and it was really Heather getting a phone call or someone getting a phone call and seeing the mistress text David and then David texted her and then he texted her while she was shooting a scene. But here's the thing.

In real life as a woman who is a real housewife, I am a housewife. I have friends. Someone's getting divorced. You're talking aboutwife. I am a housewife. I have friends. You know. If someone's getting divorced, you're talking about it. We are talking about it. So if you're going to make the show real, it's going to be like, we're concerned for Shannon.

She's kind of losing it. The husband has moved out. Please be fragile with her. Because, I mean, I don't even, this girl, I liked her in the beginning. I don't know what she's going through. So it's like. Yeah, for the record,

I don't think she was being a bitch in that scene. Yeah, I didn't think, I thought last year, I thought it was reasonable that she said that to Heather. I didn't think, I thought, I thought Shannon was just losing her mind. What? What you were saying before, and I totally respect that those are your friends or whatever. And that you're not going to trash talk, but I will. I don't believe what you just said a thing about Tamara. I think you're such a good friend because-

Wait, you don't believe that I said what? I don't believe that Tamara didn't want her baptism and that it wasn't totally planned. I see Tamara as a total planner. Okay, that's what she told me. She got the finale party. Like, that bitch ain't dumb. She's been on that show for so long.

That's what she told me, and I don't know why she would lie to me about it. If you can't get married again, you get married to Jesus. It's like the biggest wedding in housewives history because she told when she was getting married she's like i go have they asked you to put the wedding on tv and she goes yeah but i don't know eddie and i go fucking do it tamra it's your third wedding you're gonna get paid you're gonna get the greatest footage from it. People want to see it. Your life is out there anyway.

Why would you not and go spend 50,000 to like go to Ireland? Why would you do that when you can make 250? I mean, I said it. And she was like, but she did him and ha about it. And then she did it. So it's like, but with this, I'm just saying what you told me. If she was lying to me, then she was lying to me. She told me, no, that the baptism thing was not going to be part

of the show she knew people would say it was exploitive and everything but then they asked her and she was like okay you know let me see if i can make a positive out of it and if it means that anybody might be so inclined to go back to the church or discover the church then i'm going to see that as the positive that's what she said what was tamra because this year she started with the christianity so she's because last year you know so much of housewives are so much of the motivation on these storylines are like how badly you got beat up on twitter last year and i actually love that they talk about that now on the show they're like well people were mean on twitter yeah yeah so i think that she came back and she's like i'm gonna be this do this good christian thing or whatever and she started everything that's going on now.

Tamara started every single storyline. But she did it with a smile and then said praise Jesus and backed away slowly. Like, Brooke doesn't have cancer. Oh, Brooke doesn't have cancer. The psychic with Brooke's not having cancer. What was the other stuff from the season? That's like the whole season, isn't it? I don't know.

This gets back to what I was saying before, which is that Tamara has never been in the periphery of any season ever. She has always been right in the middle of anything that's going on, which you've got to admit, it's like very impressive. I mean, she does it in a way where you're not like, where you feel like. You mean when she went, you're going to Bass Lake. Yeah. You went to Bass Lake.

And then she's like 10 million times. And again, another cancer story. Again, another cancer story. Well, was that one true? Yes, he died of cancer.

It was Gretchen's fiance. I was going to say, but that was like a legit one. I was like, almost cancer. I was like, oh no, Jeff lied?

I actually was going to ask you this though. Yes. Remember that weird season of Tamara's life when she was friends with Gretchen? Yes. Was that actually – That was last year.

Or two years ago or so. Were they actually friends that season or was that just for TV? You know what? They – we – one time we had a guest host because Chelsea did not like having Housewives on and wouldn't allow it. So we had a guest host and they couldn't find any guests and I said um would you like me to call Tamara and uh Gretchen and I thought it would be funny because Fortune was the host and Fortune's like this funny kind of lesbian girl and I'm like if the girls get real blonde and cute it'll be like a fun interview so then they were like yeah call them so they both came with Slade and Eddie

and it was during the season they were friends and yeah, call them. So they both came with Slade and Eddie. And it was during the season that they were friends. And they absolutely were friends. And they all went out to STK for dinner. Wow. So, but no, they're not friends now. Definitely not friends now. That was like awakenings, you know. It was like for a moment there was like life and everything was good.

And then it just all receded back down again into hate. I mean, I think it is what it is. I think it's you know... It was very strange that they were friends for that moment. Why did they hate each other at the end? I don't remember. They made up. She gave her the bracelet, the makeup.

But then the following season things started to fall apart again because sort of like the old wounds about that phone call in the middle of the night kind of resurfaced i think that tamra if i remember correctly and i could be completely wrong wasn't tamra sort of like tamra said that the whole time that she was acting like she was in love with the dying cancer guy she was having that she was having an affair and the guy somehow got tamra's number and was like hurt that I guess Gretchen was blowing him

off or they had a secret love affair or something. That guy's a fame whore too. He was all over the internet giving interviews and putting like secret stories everywhere too. That was all sexy. Yes. I mean, now I don't know. Who knows?

I mean, yes, the guy may have called Tamara, but maybe the guy was lying the whole time, but she was getting the information. I don't know. Something, somehow it like all kind of resurfaced in a way where tamra i think if i remember correctly i feel like tamra was sort of expecting gretchen to be a little bit more forthcoming now tamra's like well look i put the past behind us so now you can you know you can tell me it's okay and i won't pass judgment i think that's the vibe that i got but maybe there was something that kicked that off like maybe tamra if camera forgives you be afraid okay the best thing is when Tamara's

pissed because she's so up front yeah about her emotions that you could at least argue and be done with it that's like these shows the things on the shows like we root up and down I don't always hate Tamara I you this year I do because this whole fake Christian thing is killing me and not that I'm like a big I always it's always like a fake I don't it's not like I'm rooting for the Christians either I'm just it's just weird to me I's not like i'm rooting for the christians either i'm just it's just weird to me i don't like it because i grew up born again christian okay some of the some so born again you mean you then you weren't my parents were born again you weren't born again you were born christian i was born christian but when i say i was born

born again i mean that was the kind of christianity yeah yeah because that's very specific that's very different no i mean i'm catholic and again yeah because that's very specific that's very different no i mean i'm catholic and what people don't realize is when you've been raised in the catholic church it is so different than the kind of christian church that like tamra goes to and you know like we no guitars yeah we're about you know like for a perfect example, I went to mass. This is how a Catholic works. My kids go to Catholic school. I just want to say all I know about mass is from what I saw about Joe taking his kids to their church. Okay. It's not, okay, let me tell you, Catholic mass is not nearly as fun as the OC Christian with the affliction shirts and the

rock and roll. Like they have it way more fun more fun than us. It's a priest with an accent. That's a cool church. And it's real quiet. But whenever I've been somewhat recruited, even people are like, you've got to go to Bel Air Press. That's like Reagan's old church. It's really fun. Reese Witherspoon goes, come on, Heather.

You'll love it. I go, I can't. I'm like, I can't. I was raised at St. Mel's. That's my Catholic church. If my kids are going to go to church, are they going to stick to the boring church that they're used to i can't show them a fun church and then they'll be bummed that we have to go to the boring one again it's god's day i can't so this okay this is a funny story okay so sunday morning i'm sleeping i'm my sleep mask i did

two zeke wells it's kind of it's kind of a happening moment here rock and roll oh it's fucking rocking it out. And it's, Hazen walks in, he goes, hey, are you awake? I'm like, well, now I am. He's like, I gotta know,

what's your emotional state? What's going on? You just woke me up. What is happening? He's like, I gotta talk to you about something. I'm like, just tell me who's dead.

Who's dead? What is going on? He's like, well, we have this cat who is a Bengal. But when we adopted him, we got him from orange county and they can declaw them in orange county and they can't do it in la right so he came declawed they can't declaw cats in la no no wonder no one wants one so this one is declawed and beautiful

and we live near the in between the ventura and the Santa Monica Mountains. There are coyotes. And I used to live in Theron. I grew up. And I remember my friend screaming and her cat was screwed across the lawn. So, but this cat, if we didn't let him out, his life would suck. So in the morning, we let him in our backyard. Okay. And he really has a tracker on his neck and he hangs out.

So he's like, the neighbor called and said, is Simba in the house? And my husband's like, no, we have he get you know he gets him out feeds him he likes to go outside in the morning so he's like because he says i think i saw his leg but when he went to go back to get the leg the leg was gone so i was like oh my god oh my god i'm out so we're looking for the cat the kids are sleeping we're looking for the cat. The kids are sleeping. We're looking for the cat. We're trying to do the tracker. We can't find him. I'm like, all right, let's take the kids. Let's tell the kids and then let's get them donuts.

I don't know what to do. We've never had a pet before. I'm devastated. I'm like, I'm never going to see him lick the sink water again. I'm just dying. So we walk out and the kids are sitting there and they're watching their cartoons. I'm like, they have no clue what's happening. And I go, you guys?

And then my husband goes, cat's outside. He's alive. The cat is alive. Cancer free. It's cancer free and alive. I fall to my knees. My kids are like, what's going on? I'm like, you guys, we are going to church.

We are God. I pray God. So we go to my Catholic church. And OK, now the point of the Catholic church. So my priest is up there. And he's like, hey, I want to tell you, not everyone in the Catholic church is going to like me. I'm much more liberal.

I'm like Pope Francis. I will bless a divorce. I will accept, you know, different. So what people don't realize is there's different levels of Catholics and we are not like the Bible Belt Christians like Angela's ashes

that's why people go there's these things called Cafeteria Catholics which is what I was raised as Cafeteria Catholic? where you pick out what you believe so it's like I'm okay with birth control. I'm okay with gay. I'm okay with, you know, if someone's really miserable and they get divorced, no one should be miserable their whole life.

Yeah, it's like the subscriber package where you pick the ones you want and just put it in my box every month. Yeah, but then what you've learned and how you've become, you don't want to abandon it because it's still what you know and you like. But you're kind of like, hey, Jesus loves me. Like, we're good.'re good yeah and then i'll take what i like and i like that it's school and the education so like there is that's the difference when people go oh you're christian you know it's just there's a huge difference between is because you have to say like i was raised this kind of christian because people who are raised like that understand yeah half my family was

lebanese and they were cath and I went to Catholic school. And then the other part was the born-again crazies. So I've seen every part. My parents go to Cool Church now. They've got the band. And they're like, wow, it's a huge wide screen and the preacher's not even here. He's on a satellite. He's in four churches.

I'm like, stay home and fucking watch cable. You can order a pizza. Get out of here with your big chairs. Yeah, and they can drink. And like the Christian churches, they have Starbucks and you can bring the coffee. What? We've never. What?

They have movie seats like the recliner seats. You can't eat and drink when you're in mass. Like, what are you talking about? You're supposed to literally fast an hour before. Jesus would have loved movie popcorn. I mean, you know, there's just things like that that I just don't. I don't know. I'm Jewish, so I went to a synagogue.

I actually went to the – I wouldn't say – you don't really have rival synagogues, but basically where I grew up, everyone either went to my synagogue or to Temple Bethel, and Heather went to Temple Bethel because she's from Chapel Bethel. Oh. That's my – I'm back east. Back east? Yeah, back east, yeah.

Here's why the religious storyline doesn't hit you guys as hard. You're Heather. Yes. And then you're a Catholic. Well, like you're a real Heather. You're a real Catholic, Heather. So you don't understand the born-again craziness, okay? When I was being raised, there were really nice, wonderful, obviously, Christians.

But then those fake ones who just did it like when they were in trouble or needed to repair. It's always the guy who's cheating that's giving the fucking sermon it's always every single time and the point is well we're all hypocrites and when we i get that you know you say you're sorry and you're forgiven but not if you're still fucking somebody else get off the pulpit like yeah come on man so then well sometimes my husband's not religious and sometimes i'll have some envy when I see the husbands with their wives, you know, in church. And I'm like, oh, he doesn't go to church at all. Like he'll go on Christmas and Easter. In the beginning, I could get him to go more.

And then, you know, I just don't have as much power as I used to. I don't know. I just choose my battles. I just don't care. Oh, yeah. I mean, because I'm like, you know, all right. I agree to marry him like this. I kind of hoped that he would like find it you listen to dr laura why what does she say i should do that's so i was just talking about her with choosing your

battles you mean or just choosing your mate you know how you're like i chose him this way and this is who he is and i'm not gonna like yeah i was hoping i was or whatever yeah i hoped that it would be but my sister and my best friend, both also, they married Jewish guys that have allowed the kids to be raised Catholic, that will go twice a year. And they're really great guys. And even though my husband wasn't Jewish, he just wasn't raised religious. And so he's kind of in the same, they're all sort of the same. And sometimes that's hard when I'm like, come on, you guys, let's go. And they're like, dad's not going.

I'm like, well, dad didn't come out of my vagina what do you want to do yeah i own you yeah i'm like you're going and he's gonna have to wait longer in line to get to heaven and we're gonna like bypass the line i don't know what to say yeah so it makes it harder but then there was like this one couple that i envied because he was like really religious like he'd be like let's say um grace before dinner and let's pray for the troops and all this stuff. And I was like, God, I just, you know. Anyway, he turned out to totally dump my friend, cheat on her, have a girlfriend. And so then I'm like, my husband is so not a hypocrite. Right.

It's worth it. Absolutely not what he is. So I'm like, he's not great at everything you know but like that is so i don't have to deal with someone pretending to be super duper christian right and like fucking the church secretary you know it's like that's really the religious part it's the okay you remember that movie with susan sarandon and sean penn and he was like a murderer or whatever oh yeah dead man walking oh yeah yeah and she's a nun and she's like but you know the death penalty blah blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, didn't he find Jesus? Is that in my head? I don't remember. Anyway, it was more her story. You've murdered 10 people and you found Jesus and I'm so glad that Jesus forgave you. Your ass is still going to die. I didn't forgive you, fucker. Bye.

So that's kind of how I feel like when anybody goes through a bad time and then they're suddenly Christian. I'm like, well, I'm glad Jesus forgaveave you i still think you're a c word you know i think the death penalty should not happen because i think they should just make it quicker i don't think it should i don't think it should happen because there's no way to there's so many times where it's not true and there's like wrong convictions and it costs so much to actually convict them right that if we just took it off the table completely and didn't even start with appeals and all the shit because if you're on death row you can keep appealing because you're about to die but if they were just like hey you've got life

then those appeals would stop and we'd save money there and everybody just knows they have to do life and that's that yeah well that's and also because i think i do think it is like inhumane like speaking of incarceration. This is going to be real. Let's talk about the GD. I know. Real Housewives of New Jersey. It always leads to something. It's like cancer.

Let's talk about the real problem. Melania. Let's talk about the true criminal. We'll be right back. Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the customer.

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yeah of course he's our own promo lunch is on you bitch terms and conditions apply this was just in time for Halloween. You know what is sad about this? I'm very Joe Giudice today. Just like sweaty and breathing.

This is what I'm worried about with Melania. Okay. I'm listening. I'm looking at my notes. One of the main, I went to this parenting class

when my stepdaughter was like three and I was pregnant with my son and I, and they said, don't ever label your kids. Like don't you know how sometimes parents they think they're being complimentary but they're like this is my math wizard and this is my reader they're like don't

ever do that because then the reader is like I don't have to be good at math and the math one is like I'm not into books or even worse that's the trouble one in the family like so this is like she you know so that then all of a sudden they're like, I'm never going to be as good as setting the table as Gabriella. I'm never going to be as responsible as Gia. So my role is to be bad. And that's the only way I get attention. And I'm just going to be bad forever.

And she's got to shave back. She's got to shave it back. And oh my God. And she's got the hairline, the shortest of the foreheads. I mean, and then that little one looks like she's like a doll. Oh, my God. And she's got the hair line, the shortest of the foreheads. I mean, and then that little one looks like she's like a doll from the 30s. Yeah. So cute. She looks like that little cartoon drawing in the 30s.

Yeah. And she's like. Little Betty Boop. I know. The one part that did make me cry, really like made me feel sad, is when she goes, Mommy says when she gets out she's gonna hug me so hard when the little one said that i was like why didn't you just do your fucking paperwork you dumb bitch i know you were given you were given the gift of god bankruptcy yeah

all they had to do was follow the rules of bankruptcy and they chose not and not only did they not follow them and go to jail, they still kept hiding shit. That's what I'm saying. The feds kept coming in and raiding them because Teresa was hiding shit in the basement. She was like, no, even after she was convicted and going to prison, she's still hiding shit in the basement. And then they act like, well, we made some mistakes. What was she hiding in the basement? Because, you know, you have to list everything that you own.

And she was still not listing everything that she owned. She kept getting in trouble before she went to jail. They came to her house on Christmas and took away all the gifts because she had spent Jewdice money on those gifts. That's like 100 grand for that many gifts. Did people really come and take the gifts out of the little girl's hands? I think of Christmas Eve. They had so many second chances to not get the gifts.

They're still living in a mansion. I know. How are they doing this? And when he's like, how is he getting any money? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, how did they already pay off some of the debt? I'm like, for what? Maybe the cookbooks.

Maybe the cookbooks. I can't. I mean, I've written a book. You don't make that much money off these books. I mean, I don't understand how like throwing garbage. But she's got her new book coming out, thank God. The show, I think. They're getting it from the show

because they were talking about it while they were shooting. I just can't imagine that throwing garbage off of a rooftop is going to be enough to get you out of, like, a $10 million hole. What?

That's what I do. Like, you know what? I work with my hands. You know what? It's just all right already. It's all right already. You know, it's like, come on. Can we do predictions

about what's going to happen? Yes, can we do predictions about what's gonna happen yes let's do it i i predict that when theresa gets out of jail things are gonna be worse than ever between her and her brother and her sister-in-law because melissa spent the entire hour just like hanging out being like well i mean i want to visit her but she just you know she won't put me on the list but you, you know, that's okay. I hope she has a lot of time to think about what she did wrong, though. And, you know, realize that family is important. And she should think about family.

Because we're getting along so well now that Teresa's not here. Look how close we are all. I hope that she can realize that this is what family is. You know, you have a lot of time to think in jail. I was like, damn, Melissa. She's going for Teresa. Melissa was going in in such a passive-aggressive way. She's going to have those kids calling her mom soon.

Bitch, and I love it. She's like, I don't understand why she doesn't. Well, not soon. Really? You showed up on the show. She's coming home in like two months. She's what? She's coming home in two months.

I know. But when Teresa watches these three episodes. What's going to happen? Okay. So this is my Teresa. So when he leaves, I think within a year, she's going to find out that he is corresponding with other women in jail. And that'll give her reason to divorce him. And in three years, she'll have some other juicy jail. As we all know know because she's so preparing already to dump Joe.

Even the kids are like, when he got in trouble with Gia and she said, Mom would leave you if you ever... She already told you. Yeah, she's heard it. She's heard it how many times. She's like, baby, take these kids and you're out. And then also, even when he gets out, he's got to go back to Italy. It's over.

No, they don't want him. He's like, what am I going to do in Italy? You know, I got family there. I'll walk around. I'll walk around Italy. You guys like Matt. Can we just talk for a minute about Manzone with children? Yes, please. I hate it. What do you think? I hate it.

You do too? I hate it. I like Caroline. I appreciate her as a mother trying to give her 20-something kids jobs and pushing the envelope with Bravo and putting a gun to their head to allow them to have two seasons. But my God. It's awful.

It is not good. And those kids are not – what are they doing? I like most of the people on the show. It's just boring as shit. They seem like such nice people. Well, it's like it goes to show you like, oh my God, can anybody just have a reality show? No, not everybody can.

Not everybody can. I think they think that they're a lot funnier than they are. Oh my God, those guys think they're so funny. like oh my god can anybody just have a reality show no not everybody can not everybody can i think they think they're a lot funnier than they are oh my god these guys think they're so funny especially the younger one but it's not it's like okay i just can't fat rich fat rich white people making fart jokes i'll go to the growth yeah we need this i'll be in burbank do you think they're gonna give them a third season now that she's married and then it's gonna all be about getting pregnant and why is she marrying him and why it's going to all be about getting pregnant. Is anybody watching him? And why is she marrying him? And why does anybody want to see Lauren pregnant?

I know. I feel like she's going to wake up and divorce him in two years. Maybe the show's still on. That'll give her a chance. No, she won't because she didn't do it when she was thin. That's when women leave. When women finally lose the weight, that's when they're like, I'm watching men do too, I guess.

She still has the mind of a fat girl. That's why she's doing the video. So she thinks that she can never, she doesn't know. There's some weird thing. None of those kids have an adventurous spirit. What happened to Blackwater? What happened to Blackwater? It's still being sold.

They must have sold it because I actually see it in the stores. Is it that there's so many vitamins that make it black? What is it? It's like some kind of sulfury thingy. Maybe it makes people nostalgic for New Jersey. It's just like black. Does it make you shit? What does it do? Dirty water. They should have just called it Jersey water.

They never explained why you would want to buy it. I think it's just a gimmick like crystal pepsi. There's minerals in it. There's some mineral in it that turns black. Jacqueline Laredo was trying to say that it's something that helps autism naturally. Like these bitches, I'm telling you. When you'll like squeeze the life for a storyline out of your autistic child for TV, you're a bitch.

Come back to my TV, Jack. I never felt like. You know what? I think it was a real struggle they were going through. I think it was like, hey, you can be? The world knows that she's... I think it was like, hey, you can be on the show. You can share your struggle. You can let people know. And you can collect this check.

I agree. And you need the money. I don't think they should have been silent. But Blackwater specifically. When she's like going on Twitter saying that that helps autism. And then tagging autism things with Blackwater. When they're going to go to jail too. If you look up anything, do apricots help autism?

Someone has some type of proof that it does. Or my kid started eating apricots and he looked me in the eye. I don't know. It's like everybody can say that like a diet or something. Nobody really knows, which is why. To say almost cancer isn't almost really cancer you guys like it could be a thing because even that medicine lady i don't want to call her a doctor but hella what not hella hello yeah no linka linka linka the lady on real housewives of

orange county she's like just detox let's let us detox the cancer yeah and now vicky's doing now vicky's doing ads for this detox center because of Brooks. So his cancer led to an endorsement deal of this bitch who's on TV. And on her website, she says she had almost cancer. Who did? The detox lady? The detox lady. On Lenka's website.

Lenka, the woman who said you have to have a coffee enema. Who wears the detox shirt every day. Take your shoes off and get the minerals from the ground through your feet. On her website, it says that Lenka went through this and that. 20 diseases. And it said in 2010, Lenka had borderline cancer. Borderline cancer. That's hilarious.

It literally says borderline cancer. And remember those ads where people would say you put the thing at the bottom of your feet and you pull it off and it's all this dirt that's all the toxic and they found out that that was like such a bullshit thing

like there's so much bullshit stuff like that well Dr. Oz have you ever looked up doctor okay go home when you're just bored on the pot or whatever

yeah look up Dr. Oz fraud oh my god the shit that that man has tried to peddle us. And my mother shoves every single one of them down my throat. So I've tried them. Am I thin?

Am I gorgeous? Am I rich? No, Dr. Oz is a fucking liar, Heather. Don't believe these women. They're all liars. Now, I'm not saying she's, like, faking her son's autism. I'm just saying it's a little tacky to, like, be ruining the life out of it on Twitter. Point at hand.

Yes. Prediction. What was that? Predictions for manzo with children. Oh, gosh. Let's see. So they've worked a little restaurant in Hoboken, the kids. Is the show done, second season, or is it coming back?

Oh, please. I hope it's done. I hope it's done. No, predictions. Not what really happened. We don't know if it's not coming back. No, no, but we're saying predictions. Like, where are they going to be in five years?

Where are they going to be in five years? I think they're going to be working at like an Amoco or something like that. Like, I just, I can't imagine. Albie is going to literally turn into Chris. He's going to look just like him. Chris will come out of the closet. Lauren will be miserable and have 20 children. I don't think Chris is gay. I do.

I think he's at least on the spectrum, yeah. I think they're all going to be living in the same house. Sorry, I can't. I get one thing in my head that's there forever. They're all going to be living in the same house. Cancer, autism, dicks, and what are we on now, Chris? I don't think they're going to be living in the same house. I think they're all going to have their own lives

because they don't need to live in the same house if we're not filming the show. Yeah, but none of them are doing anything with their lives. But they don't even talk to each other. But then why do they have to if they're getting a salary from Bravo? Chris and Abby don't talk to each other anymore. I can't even imitate her. She's like, you kids well talk to each other. You're brothers. That's what we do.

You get together and you talk. I don't like this. You're brother not talking and you not talk. I was like, click. Click. I don't care. They hate each other in real life or something. We're thick as thieves, you know? Thick as thieves. Thick as thieves. By the way, one thing I really enjoyed about that.

One thing. And she cracks up so much at Albie and Christopher. I know. You laugh. Does she laugh? And like, I get that, you know? Like, of course, a mother's going to laugh at her kids. She loves those kids.

But like, that's great. You can tell the love. You feel love. What happened to cafe face? It's like Jesus. What happened to Cafe Face? What happened to Cafe Face? We like to call it Cafface. And what happened to the restaurant in Hoboken? They still have Cafface.

They sell egg salads, scrunchies, manicures, pedicures, facelifts. Like, they have everything there. At Cafe Face? Yeah, so they're dropping. And then is the restaurant still there? The Hoboken restaurant? It had terrible, terrible Yelp reviews. It didn't close, did it?

The restaurant? Well, they're not clearly working it anymore. I don't know if it closed or not.elp reviews. But it didn't close, did it, the restaurant? Well, they are not clearly working it anymore. I don't know if it closed or not. I love it when people think, like, let's open a restaurant. It's the hardest thing. Yeah, like,

whatever happened to anything else? I would rather do anything else than open a restaurant. It is so hard. Remember she wanted to open up a restaurant a few seasons ago? And that was the best advice

Vicky gave her. Like, you have no fucking clue. Really, you have homework and everything. Are any of you going to be there every night running it? People stealing food that, you know, you do the wrong orders. My mom was kind of a heather growing up. Like, she was that type.

And we went broke in the real estate whatever in the 80s. And so my mom, like, got it together and became a caterer and, like, saved the family. She was a hero, you know. That's nice. The worst part when she started owning restaurants was she was the one who was the snob. And being like, oh, cilantro on a frozen patty. You know, she would get like that. Yeah, yeah.

But then now you have these bitches complaining at you and you're at work. And it is not fun. She was like, fuck this. Like the ladies from the country club bossing her around or leaving snotty comment cards. Not cute. No. I would love that in a Heather storyline though. pass it on yeah that what she should what heather reading comment cards at her own restaurant i'm kidding i would die they're like that tree's ugly she'd be

like when we were at dinner when we were at dinner she was very much like um when we ordered she's like and um don't rush it you were here to We want to relax We want to relax So we'll have the appetizers first And wait like a good 20 minutes Then the entrees Not before then I feel like she has the worst nightmare But actually when she said that

I was like I've never done that And I actually think it's really smart Because if you are there for the evening It is awkward When your food comes like that. It's great when you're paying that much in tip alone. You know, like, hey, we want to hang out for like a solid two, three hours. We don't want to just have an empty table, you know, with just drinks on it for the last hour and a half so we can spread out this dinner.

But like, I never occurred to me to ever tell away to that. And and like i just thought that's a good tip but you can't do that in the chilies you know what i mean that's like a mastro's no no you have to go to a restaurant yeah i got a nice restaurant it's a bad restaurant if you're still on your appetizers and the entrees come out and that that does happen and that is really annoying yeah but i'm assuming that places i mean i would be i mean if you're heather dubrow you're going to a place that's like that i mean that's like shocking. Oh, well, sure, she knows. The owner's a little of a bluff.

Mastro's in Orange County. So I've been to the one here a few times. So in Orange County, do they have that balcony area like they have here where people just get shit-faced and start acting like they're in Sodom and Gomorrah? No, no. It's a ground floor restaurant. Oh, Mastro's. So on the bottom, Mastro's is gorgeous, but Mastro's Beverly Hills gets crazy up there because it's just like old men and the hookers they love, basically.

I love that. I love that. So fun. And the waiters and polyester tuxes or whatever. I haven't been there in a long time. I know. I went there. I think I told this on the podcast once.

It's such a heavy night. You know what I mean? It's such heavy food. It is. No matter how much you try to go, let's do splitskis, always feel like you're gonna barf after that i got a baked potato there and it was like dripping with cheese and stuff in beverly hills i once went there and uh there i have this all this leftover food like a leftover basically like half a steak yeah it was like a big half a steak it wasn't like a little like whatever it was like a full like because you look at the

prices and you're like i really want a petite filet but for $10 more I can get the big filet. Right. Yeah. I might as well get the big filet and bring half of it home.

So I brought half of it home. And then you eat too much of it while you're there and you want to barf. Yeah. Well I brought half of it home and the next day I was like oh I have my mashro steak

and I opened it up and they didn't put the steak in there. It was all lettuce. They stole my half-eaten steak. Oh my God. There's some well-fed busboy walking around there. Did you call? I called. You did. half-eaten steak. Oh my god. There's some well-fed busboy walking around.

Did you call? I called. You did. Tell me. I called. Wait, let's do the call. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Hello. It's always an English person. Why all the English people have to take our hostessing jobs? Like, America hasn't fucked enough, okay? I know. Build a wall. Hello, welcome to Master's Bubbly Hills. How may I help you?

Hi. I just opened up my leftover container. I was supposed to have a steak in there, and it's just lettuce. I was just in there last night, and you guys did not put the steak in there that I had paid for. Well, I'm very terribly sorry to hear that happened to you. We really have no control over what goes in or leaves the restaurant after it's been purchased. So I'd be happy to take your name and number and the manager can call you. Oh, yeah, that'd be great. So thank you very much.

Ring, ring. Hi, this is the manager of Master of calling you back about your missing steak in a salad box. It's like a huge thing. Nobody gives a shit. They actually sent me a gift certificate, which I actually have yet to actually use. They sent you a gift.

Oh, you're going to be the asshole using a gift certificate at Master of. If anybody wants a free gift certificate, which I actually have yet to actually use. They sent you a gift. Oh, you're going to be the asshole using a gift certificate at Mastro's. If anybody wants a free gift certificate, that's what you do. You call Mastro's and you go, I'm very disappointed. It's noon. I was ready to fucking go off on half of a steak. It's not here. Alfredo ate my steak.

I have to tell you, that's something that, you know, the only thing that gets me more upset than something like that. Like I planned on eating it for lunch. Yeah. I sat down. I got like my InTouch magazine. I'm home alone. I'm going to fucking have this steak. Is I'm about to put on a dress for a television appearance and it has a fucking sensor on

it. Oh. Does that happen a lot? Both those things. You really look like a Bravo person walking around with a censor, girl. I wore a dress out with a censor because I was going to a Christmas party. Chris Knoth. Sex in the City.

Why would you go to someone's place who was on Law and Order? You can't do that with a stolen dress. I didn't think of that. It was like a red dress with a black lace over. It was a Christmas. And if I held my hand on my thigh, you couldn't see it. And I just really wanted to wear it. That is so good.

When I have it set in my head, this is what I'm wearing. I can't switch to a dress from last year. So how come you're not on Bravo? Do you have any desire to be a housewife or anything? Like you fit the profile. I don't fit the profile because i'm not wealthy enough i'm not wealthy enough at all well you're famous that's more my house more right my house would no and and i think that the difference is like i mean look if they called me

i would absolutely entertain the idea like i'd be crazy not to with the eyes millions of viewers you know like i'm never gonna be like no the eyes millions of viewers you know like i'm never gonna be like no that's not my brand you know please i'm in mother in my 40s and i have a podcast i will fucking do anything i'm very much like joan rivers like every time someone every time i get offered something and my team is like i don't know heather you know i think you're at a different level i'm like i hear joan rivers being like take everything you live in a box yeah watch what crap but but right because but also it's like being a comedian i'm it's not like i have a you know oh once i won't be the engine you anymore like i see like okay i have hopefully a life i

want to be like i heard like joy behar has a new show coming out on tlc and someone wrote joy behar has a late night show in tLC. Why not you? I'm like, that is the greatest news I ever heard. That they're giving late night shows to Jewish, not Jewish, she's Italian. What is she? She's Italian. But they're giving it to white women in their 70s. Like, I want to hear that. I don't want to hear

more disturbing as they gave it to a YouTube star. No, I want to hear white women in their 70s have TV shows and they're giving it to them at that point in her career so I'm like I'll just do whatever so but I think the difference is like between like Elisa you know Elisa Rinna is like I don't know if if they'd be afraid that I would be thinking too much like a producer and a comedian to really start fighting with someone like I can't imagine that I'd be fighting with someone for real.

See, that's the thing. You can never imagine yourself being caught. You're smart. You're an intelligent, talented, witty person. You would think I would never get caught. They get you. I'm telling you. They ruin.

That's why to me it's a little scary because that's the thing. It's like you sign up for that and you don't have any say. It's like it's not your show. Like Kris Jenner is the EP of the show. So it's like if there's something that went down, you could be like, that's out. Like, I'm sorry.

We used to work for that reality company, Peeta Murray. So we know their company. And yeah, they run that place. Right. For sure. Yes, they agree to reveal a lot. But I'm sure there's some that they go, no, we don't want that in there.

And that's kind of nice to know, but I don't know. It would be interesting. But it's like, when I get in fights with my own friends, it's like I try to diffuse it pretty quickly. But you can also- I don't really like the conflict.

I mean, I really don't. Plus, I think you'd be more like a Heather was this year. Heather Dubrow this year said this about 500 times. I think, really dumb. Plus, I think you'd be more like a Heather was this year. Heather Dubrow, this year, said this about 500 times. I think what she means is, that's all she said. I think what she

said is, I think you're misinterpreting it because I think what her reaction was coming off of is, and so she came off

really well. Plus, also, you know, the other thing about her growing, I still tease her all the time because I grew up with the Junior League ladies. So to me, that's Heather Dubrow.

I'm like, mother, shut up, nobody. She'll be like, you know, just when she gets so fancy. I'm like, shut up, Heather. Junior League, I was a Valley Deb. You were? I was a Mary Dookie Deb. I was a double Deb. You know, the Junior League made me a fabulous gay.

I love you ladies. That changed my life. I grew up. How were you in the Junior League? Well a fabulous gay. I love you ladies. That changed my life. I grew up. How were you in the Junior League? Well, my mother was. Oh, okay. So she was obsessed. And, you know, everybody would hang out and have parties every day at the house.

It was like the Franzia parties while they talk about what charity they're going to help or whatever and then fight amongst each other. That was my first like Real Housewives obsession was like real El Paso. The Real Housewives of El Paso junior league. You know, the other thing that's scary about going on reality TV is that it does, I feel like really impact your real life relationships. I mean, you see a lot of, uh, marriages crumble, you see friendships get destroyed. So there's also that to consider. It's very scary, but it's also, you could really see why it's fun. I mean,

listen, sometimes I look at these reality stars, you know, when I was at the dinner, one of those marketing executive Bravo people came over and were talking to Shannon and I was eavesdropping like I do. And it's like, sometimes I have to look at these reality stars and I'm like, Heather, how have the balls that these people have?

Because as someone that's been in the business since, you know, I graduated from college, going to Groundlings, trying to get an agent, rejection, the agent's not calling me back. I guess they don't ever want to represent me. How hard it took to get here. And these women are instantly a star within a year and in magazines and getting paid to tweet. And it comes so quickly. But it paid to tweet and it comes so quickly different it comes so quickly but then also their attitude is like they're not afraid of anybody and sometimes I was like I need to be a little bit like that when I'm like meeting with executives and stuff

because I'm like who cares we're the same age why am I intimidated by you but there's still this little like 21 year old inside of me that's like just here's my headshot you're also a performer whose job you know your job security relies on you being funny and talented right writing material and there's doesn't it's more of it's just a different kind of thing but it's amazing i know but it's just amazing how she's like you should get us why are we going on nice trips like I'm like, oh my God. We're having a great lifestyle. Oh my God, the balls that you have. I would cry every day if I heard anybody saying anything we've just even said today, which hasn't been that bad.

I have a thin skin. I would cry. I'm like a typical bully. We don't say anything bad about anyone. No, but even if someone was like, he's a fake Christian. Just talking in my tone, I'm a typical bully. The second you hit me back anyone. No, but even if someone was like, he's a fake Christian. You know, just talking in my tone, I'm a typical bully. The second you hit me back,

I'll start sobbing and like binge eating. I'm like that. I couldn't ever be on a bandage. I think it's sort of like a deal with the devil. You do get that fame. You do get to go on

these great trips and I think there are some huge... Great trips where you shoot 30 hours a day and have to listen to Shannon talk about her butt-ish.

It's probably worth it to go swimming with, you know, sharks only on bravo would they be like okay cast get in the get in the water with those sharks and we'll be shooting it from up but i do think it's like a big thing like and i have to get over this because so much tv is more reality based even if it's not a reality show it's like oh we're just gonna run the cameras and then we're gonna edit like so much of it and I have like this weird codependent thing where like I see the cameraman and he's holding the heavy camera and he's starting to sweat and no one's being interesting or funny and I'm like mother fuck I feel horrible for him and I'm like oh my

god I have to stop I have to think more I I think if i could just think more like a reality star i think i'd be more success i think i'd be more aggressive i think i would care give less of a shit about other people i don't know those are qualities that we can all accept any specific housewife but the kind of the level of narcissism that you need to be on reality tv and just be good at it i think yeah i think it's good that we're not born with that, you guys. And I love watching them. And I'm glad you guys are born with it. That jazzed.

Bitch! That's our only Tamara impersonation, and it's nothing even like Tamara. It has to be the mic. Hey, bitch! It has to be. That's my opinion! I can't make my voice do that.

It comes out as strange. We have hardly screamed it all today because we didn't even talk about the actual reunion but it's so good talking to you it was fun just to chat about Bravo in general it was nice talking to you in real life I never leave my house Heather

it's really nice to talk to you we normally do this on Skype as you know because the last time you were on we did it in that in the middle of your subway so I hope everybody also starts to listen to my Juicy Scoop. I'd really appreciate that. Actually, I end my

Juicy Scoop by saying, and please spread the word of Juicy Scoop as you would Jesus Christ. I really do. Juicy Scoop forgives you. And I don't think that's anything wrong with that. Thank you for listening to Juicy Scoop. I don't have cancer.

We'll see you next time. Bye. Juicy Scoop, die for your sins. Well, thank you so much for talking to us. And also, you've got really good guests on there. You've got all the people you just spoke about. Yes, I've got all the girls. You've got the Tamara episode, a Heather episode.

Kris Jenner's coming up. And then I have a lot of comedians. I have like a weird, because you guys are all Bravo. Brian Safi was on there. Yeah, you guys are coming on. Grew up with him. I love Brian. We're coming on those three junior leagues together.

So it's like, it's just a mix of, you know, if we do talk Bravo stuff, I try to at least encompass it so that you don't listen. Because I always remember when I would like go to see a standup and standup would have like a bunch of Star Trek jokes and I hated it because I didn't know about Star Trek. So I try to like talk about it in a more of like a social experiment or what's happening. But no, I do have some reality stars and people that are into pop culture

and then I also have straight up stand-ups a lot and it's also just like pop culture celebrity bullshit. You're already scheduled, weirdo. When is that? We're coming on next week. We're recording next week. I know it's in.

We're having lunch. I know it's in. It's like I want to be on. It's going to be in six days. Oh, you know what? We do it Mondays. Yeah. From four to six.

So we should go out to dinner after. We should go. We should go. Or we should go to the pump in BC. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

Oh, my God. Only if the skin Roomba will be there, Ken. He's always there. I love him. He's like a slow thing around the house. Yeah, we ask. Okay, we're shedding. We're shedding.

We're getting the waving hands. Go, go, go. From someone who actually had cancer, Sean. Okay, we'll listen to you, all right? Hug Sean. I love you. I know. We're sitting the entire time here talking about cancer.

I know. We're like talking about cancer. God bless Sean. So anyway. How did Sean feel about my, my theory of saying cancer free before you have it? I'm okay with that. Okay.

See, it's just being grateful. He's probably doing it now too, huh, Sean? Like, hi, I'm Sean.

I'm now cancer free. Yeah. So anyway, Heather, we're really excited to come on to your podcast next week. Me too. I didn't even know.

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You can find it on iTunes, etc. And thanks again so much for coming on. It was super, super fun. Thanks, everyone. Bye. Thank you. Today's episode is sponsored by Casper. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash crappins and using the promo code crappins. Also, Texture.

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