Watch What Crappens - #2324 Vanderpump Rules, Part 2: To SUR, Without Love

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Welcome back to part 2 of our Vanderpump Rules (S11E03) recap. Tom Sandoval confides in Lisa about his dark times and then tries to worm his way back into the group by crashing See You Next Tuesday at SUR.  Plus, New Scheana has a very Y2K fashion moment in the back alley with Tom.  To watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Summer House bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab both live and streaming tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 17 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip hop seriously, but hip hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcast. Hi everyone, welcome back.

This is part two of a two- part recap. If you're wondering where part 1 was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. Watch one crab bit, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Okay, so now we get into really sticky territory because we're talking about Suicide, which is not great obviously, and especially to her because she lost her brother to it a few years ago, which we saw her go through on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So, you know, like as far as someone saying

they've had thoughts of suicide, I'm not gonna make fun of that. That's crazy. And, you know, even terrible people go through that, you know? And so I don't really wanna make fun of that. But this is, this time, and I'm not, there's no but. But, there's no but. I'm want to make fun of that, but this is this time and I'm not I'm there's no but but No, there's no there's nothing to make fun of that Very very serious regardless of who the person is

um, and it's and and it was it was actually It added some real gravitas to the scene mainly for me mainly because of lisa because of what lisa has gone through And she tells us that like, Sandoval had assured, she called up Sandoval, she assured her after the reunion, she called him up and she said, like, if you ever have thoughts like this, you know, like you have to like reach out to me.

And he said, don't worry, I'm not that person, I'm not that person, don't worry. So to hear that he did have thoughts after all, she is very, very scared about it, having gone through it already. And she talks about how she made him promise to call her, she had thoughts about it and he didn't. And that's what's upsetting because she, her brother had talked about it before he actually did it too. And so she's, you know, she's terrified, like you don't want to lose somebody that way.

And all that said, that's sad. And I hope he gets help with that because that would not be good. You know, nobody wants that. Nobody wants, even if you're a villain temporarily, like this stuff is temporary and especially on Vanderpump rules. Okay. Like this one seems a lot worse than every other one. And it is because it was a ten-year relationship blah blah blah But you already see how the tides change with people's reactions

On social media and stuff like that where all of a sudden Arianna is kind of this huge villain where she really hasn't even done anything yet I'm like I could see if they were gonna turn on her and after she did something But I don't really think she's done anything But anyway, you see the tides turn pretty quickly. So I hope that people at least can see that and see that no matter how bad it is, tides do turn and you're not always the worst person in the world. There's always one good thing about humanity is there's always someone to come up right behind you and be even worse than you were and kind of take the

attention off of you. Now that all said, it doesn't just absolve you of everything that happened. And it doesn't mean that, that everybody close to you isn't going to still be pissed off that you put them through stuff. You know what I mean? Right. And I think that what's frustrating is it's like there's a path forward for him, for, to start improving these relationships in men or just move forward in life.

to start improving these relationships in men or just move forward in life. But he just, he seems resistant to take it because he still is concerned about what these people are. He's more concerned about their reactions to him than his actions in the first place. That's at least how it's coming off. And it's coming off that way because of the way he's speaking and what he's saying and how he's reacting to things.

So, if he truly wants to move forward in life, he has to make some changes. So Lisa's like, I'm trying to help you move forward. Like, can you at least find your way back to Sheena? Can we start with Sheena? How about that? Level one, Sheena, can you do it? World one dash one, one dash one. Just go get Sheena, how about that? Level one, Sheena, can you do it? World one dash one, one dash one. Just go get Sheena and he's like, I don't know.

I saw Sheena talking to a phone booth the other day. I'm pretty sure she's approaching. She was talking to someone in a phone booth? No, she was talking to a phone booth. She was standing outside of it. Talking it and patting it on the head. There are phone booths in our way. Yes, there's one phone booth left and she found it and talked to it. I don't know where a phone booth

came from. That's what popped into my head. Okay, I'm sorry. Also, another point, not to be laborate, but that's how we do. Sheena brings this point up later, which is he's acting like this right now, like saying, oh my God, you know, I'm going through this and this is my emotional toll and this is what the toll it's all taking. Meanwhile, he's like going on stage every night and having all these songs where he's dissing everybody

and making jokes about Schwartz losing his house and making songs about how he loved fucking Raquel and this and that and how he's so in love. So come on, he's totally playing into it. And he's also wearing big neon lightning, the lightning bolt, which is the symbol of his affair and all this other stuff. So while he's talking about what a victim he is,

he's also out there rubbing it in everybody's face. Like literally every night capitalized on it. So, you know, remember that when Tom is trying to snow you with all of this shit on the actual show. There will be people who are going to doubt Tom's suicidal ideations. And that's unfortunate in the sense that like, I feel like no one should be doubted

when they say those sort of things. He is, however, I think making it, like he's making it easy for those people to feel that way. I think, and I don't think he realizes how his behaviors are really like, are just ruining his credibility time and time. His credibility is at zero right now. And that's not when he says these things like, oh, if I say this, people say, crack it out here.

It's like, yeah, because your credibility is so bad. And the way to build your credibility is not to turn everyone's valid issues with you, not, not to respond to everyone's valid issues with you by saying, but what about this? But what about this? But what about this? You just say, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, no, I'm sorry sorry And so he just doesn't seem to realize this which is very frustrating to watch all right, so then Lola and Arianna are shopping and They see some little spoons and Lola's like oh my god I'm obsessed with anything small like this small spoon And Arianna's like you have a small kink. She's, yeah, I like micro everything's besides penis. As you can, am I going to see you next at sea next Tuesday?

Are we all pretending that this cast goes to see you next Tuesday all the time? I know no one. Let's find something else for you guys to do. No one, no one believes, no one's even, you guys aren't even trying to pretend you work in the restaurants anymore, which is good. Let's stop pretending you go to them. Okay. Just do something else.

Am I supposed to believe these people who are like getting high, getting a contact high off of going to a Tweet shop, buying tiny little spoons, then saying, Oh my God, this spoon is so cool. Oh my God, I need to go to see you next Tuesday. No, they're not the people who go to those shops are not the same people are going to see, see you next Tuesday at sir Yeah, so then they start talking about James's sobriety and Ariana's like God, he's a lot better sober, huh? And Lola's like, yeah, well, I'm glad you said that

Well, Ariana says I don't want to tell him that because I feel awkward being like oh my god You're so much better sober and she's like, yeah, well, I'm glad that you're not because I don't think anyone who drinks should say that someone shouldn't drink. Well, that's not true either. I mean, there's a difference between having a drink and then your friend who's like falling down and barfing literally every time you go out, you know. Also, I'd like not to sound callous, but also watch for crap ends. Not everyone who drinks drinks the way you did, Lala. So like, we, you know, you, unfortunately for you, you had to become sober because it was not something that you could maintain productively. And there are lots of us who drink and still, our opinions on things can still be valid.

Not even to say that if you have an issue that you are invalid, but I think like if we, if someone is a real mess, if I'm drinking, if I have like two drinks and I go out and I have two drinks and I see someone who's like a real mess, I think I'm allowed to say, I think that person should not be drinking.

I think that is the same thing to say. No, but even me, who's sever, I can't go up to him and say like, you know, like, we'd love to have you go to a meeting with me because they have to come to us. You know, if they want what I have, they have to come to us. We can't go to them. So, yeah, Lala's talking about, she's like, being sober is fantastic for everyone.

And like, you look younger, you thin out, and like you don't engage with people you normally wouldn't engage with. And like the amount of people I get my phone number to when I was fucked up is like insanity. I'm like yeah but you also gave your number to Ladon last season and you were sober then so let's maybe just have bad judgment. Listen as someone who's sober-ish that is kind of the worst part of I'm not sober curious now but I'm sober-ish. That is kind of the worst part of, I'm not sober-curious now, but I'm sober-ish. Like I'm not sober, I still drink, but just rarely. And one of the hardest things about it has been realizing what an idiot I am naturally. Because there was so much that I blamed on drinking or drugs

that is just not drinking or drugs. It's just me. And I wonder if a lot of the drinking and dragging was to hide that fact for myself. I don't really know what it was, but there's a lot of like, wow, nice to meet you, me. Fucking idiot. There is a song called Blame It On The Alcohol and it's one less thing you can, you just, things you just can't blame it. You can't, if the alcohol is not there, you can't blame it on the alcohol. You run out of things to blame. Okay, so we go to the restaurant,

Katie, Ryzen, Flannel, because it's like, that's her thing this season. Okay guys, she's emo. They went to emo night, that's like Katie's season, season, she's doing it. And she actually liked it on her. I like the emo thing on her. I think it's actually working for Katie. I think it's more of her vibe. I think it's doing it. And she really got. I actually like it on her. I like the emo thing on her. I think it's actually working for Katie.

I think it's more of her vibe. I think it's her vibe. So Katie gets there and she's already there and she's just sort of standing by the ballet stand taking selfies and she's like, oh, hi selfie queen. She's like, yeah, it was like the lighting. It was like really good.

So I like of course, like take some photos. Katie, you know Katie is just like seething under that flannel. She's like, I hate you. Why am I forced to be here? I know. Fucking hate you. We used to be like so close and I feel like we both genuinely

like wanna make it work this time. So like spending time one on one is like the most important thing on that list. Wait, hold on. There's one thing that's more important right this second. Looking good, looking good. Love you, I see you very much. So good in this for you, eh? Hi, uh, do you have a good mocktail you can recommend? I think I'd like to try one of each of the prime mocktails. Thank you

very much. So they talk about how Katie is like going on a date with this guy because he like seemed nice and cute. He's like the guitarist of the 27s. And like, he didn't know anything about Tequila. So we talked about Tequila. Let me see clips of Tequila Katie, otherwise known as, you know, like the best years of our lives. Yes. The song would call it. Yes. This is a song we'd call it.

Those warm times when, before Katie realized she had to like only be to kill a Katie off camera and express it through text to Tom Schwartz. So she's like, yeah, I really got to shine in that moment. Also, this show is really pushing the 27s. I think I'm done with the 27s. I don't think I even want to hear their music. So is this entire cast, like you've all, like let's be honest, we need to let the 27s go, okay? Because none of us have that anymore.

Just let it go. But yeah, I think the 27s are a thirsty bunch of people. So she knows like, so I was like, I need to like find out if like the guys are like available, like, like, cause I'm like whatever, wait, I don't know what she was talking about. Katie kid is like isn't it more fun to be a wing woman and then with me than to Tom Schwartz yeah speaking up I just want to like apologize again for like inviting him to like Emonite like that was like old Sheena like warring if

someone was left out but the great news is that like between like yesterday and today like old Sheena is now like gone. And so like now we have new Sheena. And like, you know, he just said he wanted to support Sandoval and I was like, I regret this, but like I don't have to be with you. Cause like, I don't want to have like you be uncomfortable because Schwartz was there. So that was like totally old Sheena yesterday.

Yeah. Yeah. Like I was like really, really upset that he didn't come to see my song. So I'm like I hate him now. He doesn't get to be invited anywhere It's like you were totally fine with him when you thought he was gonna come see you sing your emo song And now she's like, I hate him now. I hope he dies. No, but I'm a new person from yesterday So that was old shena new shena started today. Hold on. You know how you can tell look at the selfie I took in the entryway of the emo club. That was me yesterday. And now look at me.

I'm a totally different person. This was from the valet stand. Yeah. Yesterday I was like BV Dobson, but like today I'm like Avril Lavigne and just like new Sheena. I'm like really thinking deeply. Just call me Gwen today. I'm like, Gwen, she's a Gwen today.

Yeah. If you had to like ask me what my look is, I'll probably have to say it's G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S. Okay, so she... She just like singers that spell out things. Yeah. She likes between bananas and glamorous. I really like by my vibe between Gurgi and Gwen.

Nevermind. Continue on, please. She's like, B A B Y M A M A. I'm sorry, I got a little fantasy in there. Shout out to my baby mama. This shit is bananas. B A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A N A and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and Forget us. It's bananas. B, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, that's how she knows it. She just goes, she gets stuck. And A, S, yeah.

It's bananas, B, A, M, A, M, A, S. Actually, I bet this is what she is doing right now. Shop like a billionaire. It's my emo version of Temu. Okay, so anyway, about Tom Schwartz, okay? I don't want you to be uncomfortable because he's there. And she's like, I mean, I appreciate that, but like uncomfortable is like kind of my vibe.

So don't worry about me, you know? It's more about you. That's what I'm worried about. Like you being friends with Tom Schwartz, like he's gross. She's like, yeah. Well, it's been like four months of like a lot of self-realization. And then I was like, oh my God.

One time I was like, oh my God. I'm just realizing something. I'm myself. Like I'm Sheena. Like that girl in the selfie, that's me. So it's been like really good. And that all happened yesterday. So that marked the end of old Sheena.

And now new Sheena started just today. Yeah, today's new Sheena. Yeah, I started. Oh my God. Goodbye old Sheena. The Sheena who is just saying that right now. This is the Sheena with an appetizer. I just got an appetizer right now.

I'm a totally different Sheena right now. I'm a Sheena who's had girl trim. Hold on a second. My phone just got, I got a notification that an update is available to go to from Mac iOS to Nershina. Guess what my laptop's Nershina now also. It's like, yeah, I'm down to this now. So you're going to be like air dropping with someone you don't even know tomorrow.

I'm going to tell you that right now. Guess what? Nershina can multitask. Like literally there's a multitask function now the other belt and that's really bright. So Katie's like, yeah, like to carve time out for garbage people just cause you have history. Like, I mean, I'm sorry, but like, if you don't add value to my life.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like adding value, like that's what I need. Like adding value. Yeah, if you don't add value, you don't get to be in my inner circle. I love that Katie doesn't even get to finish one sentence here. And I just know that Katie this whole time her inner voice is like,

I fucking hate this person. She's this person literally added nothing to my life today. So now we go to some dogs and Schwartz walks in to Vendor Pump Dogs and this is like, oh yes, oh yes, oh look at this. Oh, I love the dog songs darling. Oh yes, this fabric's wonderful. Yes, oh good, hi Schwartzie, Schwartzie, be welcome to Vendor Pump Dogs.

Yeah. Wow, look at me just, you know, doing something that'll make everyone like me which is hanging out with the dog. So I've got dogs. sit down come on let's talk about how everyone needs to forgive poor poor sandoval yeah well I just wanted to have a quick therapy session because my brother's not doing good he's got cirrhosis she's like oh dear darling she's like I was not expecting us to start on a cirrhosis foot right now.

I thought we were going to talk about puppies and dog toys but sure cirrhosis again. She goes did he drink that much? He goes yeah I guess so. So it's actually a really sad story. I think we could, I think this will help him. Send him a mug that says I love, but I'm not crazy about bitches. Am I right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha his problems away and then he got addicted and now he's really in a bad place. It sounds like which is really, really sad.

So this is terrible for you. So let me plug my new restaurant wolf in Lake Tahoe. Now, listen, if you're going to get cirrhosis, that's the place to do it. What a glamorous, glamorous bar. Oh, yes, yes. I have a new fresh restaurant called Wolf. It's a, someone might call it a fresh wolf. Ah, I love that, I love that.

So Lisa's like, so, what's going on about with shorts and sandies? I just, you know, sometimes I wonder, I just don't think the punishment fits the crime. And maybe I feel differently if Ariana wasn't living her best life, but she's kind of moved on. Yeah, I don't know how that's going to go over for her, that opinion. The punishment is worse than the crime. What's the punishment doing sold out shows all over the place and getting on a new reality show? What are you talking about? The punishment is worse than the crime. He's not talked to by a bunch of old waiters that he

used to work with. I don't know. They're gonna need to do something else because this is gonna be the whole season. I'm already exhausted. Like I cannot talk for 97 hours about how we all need to forgive fucking Tom Sandoval. I can't. Yeah, I need something else. Do something else. I hope it's gonna happen at Wolf. I believe in you, Wolf. It's From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm consciously What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Mom.

Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue hear a little less in August, 1492, Columbus, sale the ocean blue and a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights.

She is a villain to others. Follow black history for real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. ["Black is Beautiful"]

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or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So she wants to have a group trip for the cast because this is a show where they do have to film together. So she wants them to all come to Lake Tahoe to publicize her new restaurant basically. Welcome to Lake Tahoe to publicize her new restaurant, basically. But he's like, how's that gonna work? Cuz Ariana won't speak to Tom and she won't speak to me. Like how's this gonna go?

She's like, make it happen. If you're on a TV show, God damn it, and we have better ratings never before. So you better show up at Wolf, the sexiest Lupine restaurant in all of Lake Tahoe. So anyway, now we go over to See You Next Tuesday. So people are showing up, James and Alaa are walking into See You Next Tuesday and then Lala and the other Logan and then James walks in and he's like,

see you next Tuesday, I want one. And all the tourists are like, yay. And holding up film fingers and signs that they use at the Today Show. And then she knew Brock show up. She's like, good old sir. The lighting's not as good as the sushi restaurant, but I guess it all do.

So when Schwartz comes in, Brock's like, whoa, look what the cat dragged in there. I like how your orange shirt, mate. It looks great. And she's like, oh my God, I did iron it. This was a seatbelt. This was a seatbelt, Mark. So are you just like popping in,

score where you invited? It's like, I'm just like popping in, just trying to be with the group again. Welcome, welcome, let me back in. And Brock is like, yeah, it's his new MO, poppin' in, or. So Schwartz is like, oh yeah, Lola knows how to jab that needle, like, but it strangely makes me feel more welcome.

Like, I'll take the hate over indifference. Which by the way, don't ever forget that that's what this cast really thrives off of. So the more we hate on Sam San Neval the happier he is So Schwartz is like yeah You know, I've just haven't been coming for the four past. See you next Tuesdays and I'm like I'm gonna come to this one Oh, I got you something because I've been super curious and these are like neurotropics and there's no alcohol or anything It's just Machete and stuff like that. She's like what a subracurious

Tibet and there's no alcohol or anything, it's just machete and stuff like that. She's like, what a subracurious, stupid. I'm traveling in sobriety. And she goes, I've heard it all at this point. California sober, sober curiosity. I don't recognize those things, but you do, you boot. So, Ally is like, hey Schwartz, that's what I'm doing. I'm sober, curious. I mean, I'm not that sober. I love to get wasted, but I'm curious about that journey. You know what I'm doing. I'm so curious. I mean, I'm not that sober I love to get wasted, but I'm like curious about that journey. You know I'm saying, huh?

So then Ariana and Katie come and hugs and kisses and Schwartz is like guys would you want to sit down Katie? You need a seat. Oh, I guess you guys have seats, huh? Okay. Well, you're sitting so they're sitting everybody I've heard of a seat if they wanted one. You sure don't want this seat This would have been a better seat. I'm a nice guy with a shirt that got wrinkled by a seat belt Really hurting my feelings right now and all I wanted to do is give him a seat She knows like mocked as mocked as mocked as This is somebody who's sobriety is gonna last five minutes. I can tell you that cause no sober person gives a shit

about a mocktail. I'll tell you that. No one is excited to go get a mocktail. I've never met one that has been sober for longer than a month. This has been like, I'm a mocktail, mocktail, mocktail. And then James is on the turntable. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, James still up there killing it. Wow. He's just, that's actually, that's just him. He's actually not just DJing. He's just trying to get Ally's attention. He's just used to planes overhead. So he's just yelling. Did she close at the raw store?

Hey, hey. So, Schwartz goes up to James, he's like, Hey James, I finally made it. I feel bad for flaking so many times and oh I had a really good conversation with Lisa today about a new Spon-Toe. Do you know anything about it? Yeah, Wolf, yeah, Wolf, I'm gonna be be playing that. They said I'm gonna be opening up

for someone who works at Enterprise Rent-A-Car. You get to go there and he's like, yeah, so we're riffing and I kind of half invited myself and half jokingly in us that she was like, yes, darling, come and invite everyone. So I'm gonna invite everyone. So you want to come? Come on, come. And he goes, so you mean you're inviting Santa Claus, which you're telling me? And he goes, yeah, everyone in our group, you know? Cause I haven't even talked to Tom about it, but you know, I'm certain.

And he's like, well, it would be nice if it didn't come, but hey, you know, I don't wanna spend my days feeling this anger. So in order to truly let it go, I just can't let this stuff annoy me. Do what you want. Do what you want Plus it'll give me someone to yell at Yeah, oh beautifully stated so then um Santa vol and Kyle Chan show up also and

They sit at their little two top up to the side and he's like wow I really feel like I'm like walking into the lion's den here But like I'm taking what Lisa said to her and like I'm like walking into the lions then here, but like I'm taking what Lisa said to heart and like I'm ready to be apologetic and humble with all these people who are coming at me bro. So here we are, sir, should be interesting. Kyle's like, the ring does mean a thing. Kyle Chan designs.

Santa Claus just like walked in, like he just like walked in the car out. Like yeah, he's like walked in the car like yeah He's like right there with Carl Chan like oh guys. He's with a Carl Chan y'all Like oh my god. They're here. I can't believe that Tom Sandoval would walk in here Carl Chan's like can I order something do you guys have onion rings? Okay, bro. Jesus. Let's keep it low-profile here. Could we make a request to the DJ? Do you think we could play some Jewel?

Rik. Okay, so Ariana's like, I don't know why he'd show up to sir. Like I will not have him in my circle. It's not gonna happen. Peace out, you fucking suck dude. Okay, he's like, so after this whole thing with James, he's like, oh yeah, I should go to James' night at sir.

Okay. So, uh, Kyle and Sandoval are making small talk over there and it's really sad. And he's like, is my first time having a dinner? And the waiter's like, can I bring you something? He's like, dude, this is my life. It's my life, bro. Stop coming at me, man. Coming at me. I feel like someone's gonna drink,

accidentally spill a drink on me, but on purpose, you know? God! So Kyle's like, well, you know, Sheena has been asking about you and your best friend died and she cared about it. Yeah, whatever, she had a podcast coming out, you know? And it made me feel really insincere. It made me feel like she was being insincere. Cause like she's talking about me every day and then she's calling to see if I'm okay. Like at that point I had had enough bro. So then Jesse, a long time, you know,

supporting cast member Jesse comes over and it's like, hi, wow, a night of surprises. Look, you're here. I'm so excited that I get to wait on you. This is great. I've only tried to avoid you for nine months and now here you are. So yeah, no, I'm wondering how you've been doing. I've been really, really worried about you, not really, but yeah, you fucked up. By the way, you fucked up.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, you remember how I told you I couldn't really be your friend and had to unfollow you? Yeah, still not gonna be your friend and follow you. Really good. Really good to have this talk kind of breaking up with you again in person. This was fun.

We should do this again. All right, so we're gonna hang out? No. No. Listen, I don't want you to have to deal with any extra stress because of me. And Jesse's like, thank you. That means a lot to me, even though I didn't want you to have to deal with any extra stress because of me. And Jesse's like, thank you. That means a lot to me, even though I didn't need that from you.

It actually means very little to me. Yeah, here, come on, let's have a hug. Let's have a hug. Jesse's like, OK, well, we're hugging, and everyone can see me hugging you. We're friends again, but I don't approve of this hug whatsoever. So then he has to hug Kyle Chan. And I feel like the only reason why he hugged Kyle Chan was to make

it look like he was hugging everyone. He wasn't hooked on Tom Sandoval. He's like, Oh, hey, hey, table, table number 13. Cogs coming for hugs. So you chose the enchilada. These days. Yeah. The enchilada is great.

You know what? Let's have a hug. Just, I guess I just hugged everyone. Get over here. Go cheese hugs. Sure. I'll give you an order of good cheese. Hug. Come here. Like you just got another indiscriminate hug for me

because I am hugging everyone regardless of who they are at this restaurant. Just want to establish that Maxwell. What are you pouring water before you give a hug to me? Get over here. Hug first water second. Max over there. Look at look at the structural pillar that we have right in the middle of the restaurant to hold up the ceiling. I think it deserves. I'll just hug that. Get Max over there. Look at the structural pillar that we have right in the middle of the restaurant

to hold up the ceiling. I think it deserves, I'll just hug that. I'll hug it, I don't care if it's not a human. But you do have to be that way, because of course the cast is like, oh my God, Jesse's over there, hugging time. Wait, wait, wait.

He hugged Kyle too, I guess he's just hugging everyone. It's okay, it's safe. Hey, wait a minute, is Tom hugging a basket of bread? Okay, well it's okay. We'll forget Jesse. Nailed it, Jesse. Nailed it on that one. Yeah. So, um, uh, Sandoval, uh, he is like drops his head into his arms. Oh, it's like, it's like wiping a invisible tear against it. I just feel like really bad, man. Like, people want to go through that shit.

You didn't do anything. Like Schwartz didn't do anything and you guys have to suffer because of what I did. Oh I can't wait to sing a song about this while I'm wearing lightning bolts and refusing to leave the house that I'm trying to get Ariana to leave for five dollars a week. Okay. So then we cut to Schwartz going back to the group and he's like, hey, hi everybody. Well, can I squeeze in with you guys? Wait, can I have a chair? Because what if Katie needs one? Even though she's sitting right now. Katie, you're sitting right now. You want this chair? You want this chair? Move, man. Move. I want to give you a chitty. I'm a good person. Okay, guys. Anyway, so I wanted to talk. And James like, yeah, Schwartz has something to say

that the whole group, you're going to love this one one I've got glasses now, so I'm just gonna be mature over here If anyone wants to get a drink to throw in his face like we did on beach day right now So Schwartz is like so guys. Hey, I'm a nice guy. I'm a really nice guy and I'm not gonna turn evil in one second Hey, I was talking to Lisa at BPR dogs and like she mentioned that she was gonna go to Tahoe next week And like I invited myself Jokingly I really want to emphasize that was like a joke and then she said yes So I'm like, okay, so I guess I guess she's like invite everyone so really like what I'm inviting you on a group trip It's not me. It's actually Lisa. I'm just a I'm a vessel for her. So what do you say guys?

Yeah, because it's for work stupid. I'm cute. I'm cute. I'm a vessel for her. So what do you say guys? You have to, cause it's for work, stupid. I'm cute. I'm cute. I'm a cute little boy. Okay. It's like. I'm inviting everyone like, oh, so Santa ball. And Ariana's like, I don't want to be anywhere near either

you or my ex. Yeah, well, I figured since you guys are already in the same house, it shouldn't be that awkward, right? Ah! Wait, I got lost somewhere, homeland. Well, Ariana says, well, when we're in the same house, there's a mediator named Ann, and that goes between us and Cleanses' Dishes,

and we do not run into each other or interact And he's like well, I mean, I know it's a complicated situation You know and maybe you guys could book your own spot and then come hang out with a guy who totally fucked you over and ruined your adult life And dreams. I don't know, you know, you don't have to see me You don't have to see Tom you would just see I don't know Well, these other people who also don't want to see me or Tom You see you have so much in common with there's other people who also don't want to see me or Tom. You see, you have so much in common

with so many other people who might not go either. Yeah, well, after everything that's happened and how he's treated you, what makes you feel like the need to stand by his sides? He's like, well, we have a beautiful friendship. That's it, you know? She's like, well, you know, your friendships is beautiful because you're a part of it,

but that's it, you know? Like, your friendships is beautiful because you're a part of it, but that's it. You know? Isn't this the guy who called you like a stupid blown up, go blow up your face some more, you stupid real housewife or whatever he said to you last night? She's like, you're the real good person here. So you should get rid of him. No, but I'm like a really nice guy.

Look, we've been working through it. It's a work in progress. And Horeanna was like, listen, I gave up on you a long time ago and my life been working through it. It's a work in progress. And Horeanna was like, listen, I gave up on you a long time ago and my life is better for it. So then Schwartz goes from being, oh, I'm a sweet little boy too. Oh, okay, I love that for you.

Same to you. Fuck yourself. I know. I know. It's so real. Anything anyone else has to say to you about any of this shit? It's always gonna fall on deaf ears because you're a lost cause.

And he's like, well, you don't speak on behalf of the group. Like, you're not the queen of the group. Your ego's getting a little like up there now, come on. Oh, it's my ego now, it's my ego. Schwartz is very clearly confusing strength and boundaries with ego. No, well, because she's speaking on behalf of the whole group. And Katie's like, she can, cause that's how we feel.

And Ariana's like, I'm not making any decisions for anyone else but myself. If I don't want to be around my ex, I literally don't have to fucking be around him. Yeah. And she was like, I mean, if this is going to be a situation where you bridge some sort of gap, you could forget about it.

Okay. Cause he's not coming back in the fall. And this is my ego telling other people what to do. And then he switches to going from like, oh, fuck you. Little boy is back. Little boy. Like I love, he turns cause like we all know Schwartz is like an asshole. We always say Schwartz is the biggest asshole, but he's, he's just really good at putting on his little facade.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just a good little boy. Oh, the little boy's back. I'm back with us, everyone. Oh, I'm sorry I said that. I just missed the whole group dynamic. Oh, I'm cute.

Yeah, some's gotta give. I mean, I can understand why nobody would want to talk to Sandeval again, but then somebody has to get fired. Who's it gonna be? You guys decide because I'm bored already. It was like episode three. So I actually make a decision.

Sorry, Anna's like, well, don't forget, the only one who destroyed the group dynamic was Sandoval. Yeah, but I'm like, try to have conversations and you're all teaming up on me. And Katie's like, well, release yourself from this torture you've been under. And oh, I don't really have anything else to say. I don't know what to say. I don't really have anything else to say.

I don't know what to do. It's funny the group's like, dump him, dump him, dump him. So then James takes to the dance floor and does a little JK remix. And then, SantaVol is telling Kyle, yeah, this place has always been too monstrous, bro. Even back in theous, bro. Even back in the day, dude.

Hey Sheena, Sheena almost didn't recognize you. Really? Cause she's like the Sheenaiest. She's literally ever been. She's wearing these big Britney Spears sunglasses at night and she just like stands there staring at him. She's like, I'm sorry. Like, I wish you had a little umbrella on your head

and I would take a selfie in front of you But otherwise, I don't know what you want from it. Oh The reason why you probably didn't recognize me is because new Sheena started like a day ago. Oh, yeah, okay cool I see it's a new version. This is like appetizer Sheena, so So can I like talk to you for a second? I mean, like not right here. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and like maybe I can meet you in like that back but I'm like not gonna do it like here.

Like I will not be caught dead cause we all saw what happened with Jesse just a few seconds ago. All right, all right. I'll meet you in the back at least. Literally they have Jesse tied up right now by a tree and they're just throwing pancakes at his face. So.

All right, that's like my best friend. And like I have her back up right now by a tree and they're just throwing pancakes at his face. Ariana's like my best friend and like I have her back and like I have nothing to say to sound of all that I haven't already said to his face. So like why he wants to have a conversation with me in public at sir of all places is like beyond me. I'm like, it's because you guys are doing a TV show and the producers told him to come tonight and told him he has to talk to you. So that's why. Commissions. Here comes one right now.

So they go out to do the back alley talk and say, um, thanks for the drink, but I'm actually three weeks sober today. But thank you. Okay. Um, I don't know if you heard me in there, but Mark does Mark. You didn't want anyone to know you were out here. Sorry can't help out my tether so Yeah, well, I had a weird feeling that you weren't drinking tonight cuz again, I heard that mocktails thing Yeah, it's been like three weeks today. So they just stared each other and so

You look like you kind of like rodent on like a Shania twin motorcycle, you know, like that video. Thank you. Is that a look you were going for? Yeah, I was going for like a Y2K look. Thank you. My favorite was when Shania sang that song. Man, I feel like Nushina tonight. Here we go girls. Mac-dales. And he knows how to worm his way into Sheena's heart, right? He's just complements everything about her look

and gets her to open up about it. That's really all you have to do with Sheena. He's like, is that what you were going for, bro? Like, Shania Twain look? She goes, yeah, actually like Y2K. He goes, speaking of, this is a Y2K sweater. She's like, oh my God, nice. Like, we're both on the Y2K thing.

He goes, it was Ali's. Okay, you're gonna wear your dead friend's sweater so you can say it was my dead friend's. Tom, that's really- That's a lot. That's low, dude. I think that's low. So I didn't expect to get, yes, I agree.

I didn't expect, I didn't want to leave you hanging there. I know, I know, I know, it's like an awkward thing to accuse somebody of, but that is kind of gross. Like I'm going to go to a place where I need to get sympathy from everyone. So I'm going to wear my dead friend's sweater and then tell everybody it's my dead friend's gross. Listen, it was weird when Louie did it

and it's weird when Sandoval did it. So she knows, these are no no's pajamas. So I wanted to make you feel safe. So she does like, um, I didn't expect to get blocked when I reached out when someone so near and dear to you passed away. And he's like, yeah, I understand that. I appreciate it. Just was like not in a good place that day.

And I haven't been like a lot of days and like, I felt like that maybe like you were doing it to say like you just like you're checking in on me just to say you could check in on me. Well, and she's like, well, I would think that after 14 years of friendship, you would know me better than that. Like you would know that I was literally on TikTok filming myself wishing you the best.

And that means I meant it so it's like everything I do is like looked at in the most negative way possible like I can't even like cheat on ariana without people thinking that's such a negative thing this is yeah but like don't you think like if you would have been honest and were more responsible from the beginning than it could have been a different outcome of course. Of course, I handled it like shit. I mean, I can't do anything about the past. Oh. Yeah, just be apologetic and remorseful, Tom, okay?

You don't need to like keep doubling down and acting like a villain, Tom. I love Sandoval coming for James for sleeping with Kristen like nine years ago. And then he says to Sheena, I can't do anything about the past. Yeah, that's a good part. He's like, how dare you come at me

about something that happened a month ago? This is disgusting. I know. So mental note when Andy calls for union questions, Ben from Los Angeles asks, why is it okay for Sandoval to come for James for something he did nine years ago? But then when he's confronted with his behavior, he says,

I can't do anything from the past. Mental note to self to say that sweet, that's at Andy. Yeah. It's very Lisa from Real Housewives of Miami who's like crying about her marriage and her divorce, just sobbing about it all day. But the minute someone talks about their child's that she's like, I'm not a therapist. It's literally the same thing.

I can't do any, I can't fix your past. I can't fix your trauma. Okay, so then he's like, I did apologize to you and I was, it was very heartedly, okay? I was heartedly. And then we see a flashback of him like, oh, like, sorry to every other, but obviously to you, the things I said that night, I feel so bad about it.

It's not just me, Tom. I guess, well, I would love to talk to Ariana because of everybody. She's been a hundred times less proactively vindictive. She has been passively vindictive, but not proactively vindictive, which is weird to me because she's the one I did it to. And she has every right to come after me and do all that stuff But Ariana doesn't get off on that shit. She doesn't want to see me get dragged to the point of like I mean like She's like Okay, well this is the whole, just apologize, Tom.

Like, let's not make it about how you're the victim. Like he cannot do it. He just can't do it. She goes, I agree. And there was a certain point where we stopped. And I, well, we kind of stopped when like old Sheena happened and now we're like a new Sheena select new content. So I think you like really need to humble yourself.

Uh, and the next show you play, maybe leave like Schwartz and Raquel's names out of the songs. Yeah. And I'm glad she brought that up because he's ridiculous. And she's like, I mean, like the shirt off, like the singing about Schwartz losing his house and Raquel is hot. Like, I mean, come on, like, Raquel is hot for me. And like someone needs to tell him to put the mic down.

Everything you're doing as the definition of a narcissist, it's not. You should look it up. Well, a narcissist is never going to admit that they were narcissists. I know. That's why Lala won't say she is. I'm like, what? You just, you just tried to like give a straight a Lala right now. To both of them.

It's like, okay. So you're not, you're not a narcissist. Sheen is a narcissist. Oh, and Lala too. Everyone is. So it's okay. You know, that's, that okay, so you're not a narcissist. Sheen is a narcissist. Oh, and Lala too. Everyone is, so it's okay, you know? That's what we'll go back to eventually. That's always his defense. Well, she's not, and that's offensive.

And like, I need to go, by the way, now that I'm annoyed, I'm gonna have to pull out my favorite thing to say, I need to get home to my daughter. But my advice to you is just to humble yourself and have some humility, okay? Cause like, no one is wishing for any harm to advice to you is just to humble yourself and have some humility, okay? Because like no one is wishing for any harm to come to you or to her. And so he says, well, you should know that after that Nima interview, like, I really had to talk with Kail down, bro. I need to talk her down through postcards. And she and this like, but she did say it, Tom.

So that's what we were talking about. So she tells us this was never meant to be a podcast about hurting or attacking Tom. Neiman, I just wanted to do a podcast and put the truth out there because I'm not going to have people say that I'm making up a rumor, which is so she know to this is so she know to like spread a rumor. And then when she gets some heat for the rumor to be like, uh-uh, this is where the rumor came from. So why do you mad at me for it? Cause you're spreading the rumor. And I couldn't even remember what the rumor was. And so the flashback was that Sheena, we see a flashback of her talking about it, how Sheena mentioned a rumor that Tom told Raquel

at Coachella that Arianna, he and Ari Ariana were open. And so she was like, whether or not Santa Claus had that to Raquel, I don't know. But Raquel definitely sought out Tanema. Yeah. And so he's like, ah, I never said that. And why is it your business? And she says, when my character is being questioned, it's my business.

And goes, well, it never would have been, had you not but brought it up to begin with. It never would have been happened if you not but brought it up to begin with it never would have been Happened if you hadn't fucked her cow to begin with Which you know is a good point? You can always win that one the chicken or the egg that is this show, you know what came first the herpes on the chicken What came first Coachella or Rochella? So Sandoval is like, I would say,

so she's like Matt and she's like, I'm done. So she walks away and Sandoval's like, I would say out of everyone, the loss of Sheena and I's friendship has been devastating to me. Sheena's a friend. She's all heart. She's funny.

She understands Y2K fashions. I miss her. Yeah, and then we get a sad song. How did we get here? The song plays. How? How did we get here? I wrote, you know why? My damn smile!

Now I can't drive like everywhere. Am I like Y2K? Sure. Well, I actually believe it or not, I actually really liked this episode. I was really into it. I know you were saying you were kind of bored, but I was actually was like really in for this. It's not bored with the episode.

I'm just, it's not like, I'm not at that place yet where I'm like, fuck this show. It's this story. It's been going, it's been too intense. I mean, the scandal all happened in the middle of last season as we were watching it is what I mean. And it just hasn't stopped. I mean, itandival happened in the middle of last season as we were watching it is what I mean and it just hasn't stopped I mean, it's been like they're still fucking commercials about it. It's like I can't enough like it just can't it does It doesn't have enough to take us through the whole season

Tom Sandoval cheating like it has to be more and it has to be more than people just saying like I Refuse to hang out with him. I refuse to hang out with her None of you are interesting enough to carry a show alone. And I mean that to be fair across the board. I mean, every single one of you is equally as mediocre in that record. You're gonna have to shoot together. That's it.

Who are you gonna fight? You expecting Katie and Ariana to start fighting about the name of the tuna fish sandwich at their restaurant that's never gonna open? Yes. Come on. Need more. Um, I do expect that fight. I, uh, I am, um, I'm okay with it because I think we're still only three episodes

into the season and, uh, I'm not worn out. This is the coming back. This is, you know, I think, I think what's working for me is Tom's narcissistic, uh, perception of this whole thing and the fact that he has such a self-serving view of this scandal and people's reactions to him that it makes me angry. And as long as I have someone who's making me angry, someone who's like playing a villain, I'm generally happy.

Like I'm like pretty like, okay, there's someone for me to root against, there's someone for me to root for. I agree, it's not sustainable that like the cast is gonna have to start shooting together as a group. So maybe by the end of the season, if it's still like this, I may be singing a different tune, but for right now, I'm totally fine with it. And I'm into it.

I really liked the scene with Lisa kind of browbeat, not, she wasn't browbeating, that's the wrong word. She was scolding, sandballed to be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You gotta get, like, she wasn't brow beating. That's the wrong word. She was scolding Sandoval to be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You got to get like, this is all your fault. I felt like there were some like really good scenes in this episode that I was like, I can't believe I'm actually sort of like emotionally

caught up in this bullshit. Yeah, I'm not, but I did like that scene too. And I think that it does show a difference between, you know, Southern hospitality. I see comments of people being like, oh my God, why is Leva on the show? difference between Southern hospitality. I see comments of people being like, oh my God, why is Leva on the show? Same reason Lisa is, why is she on that show?

No, Leva I think adds nothing to Southern hospitality where I think that Lisa does add something to this show. I mean, even though they don't work there or whatever, they've all known each other so long that it's totally believable to me that she's like, you idiot, the fuck is wrong with you? Like I may not hang out with you every day, but I still knew you were newer and diapers and you're just wrong. Because these people on this show, another difference is that these people on this show

don't have parents around. On Southern hospitality, they generally either live around their parents or see them all the time where they have parents to be like you idiot What are you doing? We're on this show. You don't really see that as much So Lisa does seem to be that parental figure. He's like you idiots But I wonder like if you went back to season one or two of this show was Lisa as parental Or was she just like a boss because at this point They've all grown up over ten years around Lisa. And on top of that, she, like, they have now,

like there are issues that, they're still petty issues, but they have dealt with like bigger issues than what they dealt with in season one or two. So I wonder if Lisa's role as a maternal figure has also grown with it. But either way, it was good to see- But also she's a real boss. Like even if she's not their real boss at the restaurant,

she's the real boss of this show. I mean, as far as they're concerned, you know what I mean? So she still has that where I don't know that love it. I don't know why I need to make this like an anti-love thing. But I'm just comparing the two. Yeah, I don't hate her. I just think she adds a lot less than Vanderpoet. Yeah, I think though that Lisa Lisa also Lisa is just like very wealthy and she

represents like access and a different tier in Hollywood versus Leva does not represent that. So I have no problems with Leva on Southern hospitality. I actually, I enjoy her, but I do think a distinct thing is that like Leva does not represent access to a different world of Southern, of Charleston, whereas Lisa is like up in the hills in a mansion with fabulous people and everyone else is down in Valley Village. And so they always have to make space and time for Lisa because if they don't, like she is in some way always represents the lifestyle they're all aspiring to,

which is always a great dynamic. But what I liked is that I really liked Lisa really kind of like telling Tom Sandoval things that he needed to hear. She wasn't like, it wasn't like a pouty lower lip, like, oh dear, it was like, she was like, no, you have to listen, This is your fault. You have to fix this.

And I really, really appreciated that. Well, you got it. I got it. That was your guess. That was your guess. Well, I was wearing glasses. So that that was really in some ways that was a piece more intellectual level than I did.

And so, yeah, I that was actually the reason why I was talking about access and I was wearing glasses. So it was really important for me to like, you've got anthropological element of this. Yeah. Lisa Vanderpump to that cast is like glasses are to you. They give you access to a total, the totally different caliber of person.

Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna have to take my glasses off and go back to being, you know, making comments about like, it's just stupid. Oh. All right, everyone. Let's take it away. A double all right, a double all right.

Let's see if we could do this together. All right, all right, all right. All right, everybody, all right. Thanks so much for being here, everybody. It's been great to see you. He's got glasses and he's tired of this cast sitting on their emotional asses. It's Ronnie and Ben saying goodbye from what good crap is.

Say goodbye to one. Oh and one little thing. We're on Jeff Lewis this week so everyone be sure to tune in on Thursday cause we'll be there so catch you there and we'll also catch you on the next episode of Crappins. Bye everyone. Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strollin' the park with Caitlyn Clark.

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