Watch What Crappens - #2325 RHOBH: Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Frenemy

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

It’s the penultimate episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ season, and not much is going on so let’s watch Annemarie serve everyone cheap champagne and bring a conclusion to her 8.5 rated storyline for the season. To watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Summer House bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab both live and streaming tickets for the 2024 Golden Crappies Awards Feb 17 at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! The podcast for all that crap. We love to talk about honey. Oh, braves. I'm Ronnie. That's been hi How's it going? Hi Guys, we're together today. We're in Los Angeles and Ben's gorgeous

Billy of green office. Yes With all the porcelain that he's been out there hunting, that porcelain deer behind us. The gallery wall, there's a gallery wall. This is definitely a very real background. It is not virtual at all. And anyone who would accuse me of such things, shame on you, this is 100% a real, real background. That's 100% fancy.

Yeah, and you can see it on Patreon. If you go to patreon.com slash watch the crap, and then check out, crap is on demand. Um, I'm so excited to have you here, Ronnie, here in my home office because you're here for the golden crappies, which are happening this weekend. This weekend, Saturday night, palace theater in Los Angeles. Also if you want to stream them instead of come coming. Come.

Let's talk about Come. Come, come online. It's fun, it's a big online party. You can get tickets at watchwhackrapins.com. Also, thank you to the Jeff Lewis show over on SiriusXM, Jeff Lewis, Shane Douglas, Jameson, everybody over there, so nice. We've had us on today.

What a fucking blast. We just came from there to do this one. So much fucking fun. Go listen to it, go support them, go subscribe or do whatever you need to do over there. Those guys are so kind to us and we had a really, really good time, so thank you. Yeah, thanks for having us.

And also one other little reminder that today, hopefully listen to this in time, today is the last day to vote in the crappies and the ballots at watchacrappens.com. The polls are gonna close at midnight Pacific and we're really excited. There've been, we've had more votes than we ever had ever, ever, ever, ever.

I think we're closing in on 40,000 votes this year. And yeah. And some of the races are extraordinarily tight like within two or three votes. It's wild. So, you know, make your voice heard. Make your voice heard in this election year of Bravo. Be heard. Be heard.

But it's going to be, the show is going to be so fun. I did a walkthrough of the theater yesterday. We're going to have a lot of great stuff. So definitely come join us, hopefully in person if you can make it. But virtually, if not, it's going to be a wild time. I had a session with Corio. So, you you know you know how it's going guys yeah working hard so come don't be a don't be a loser also big week on Bravo with Bravo all the sudden trying to convince us that all their villains are victims okay we've

got Jax coming out with a new show soon Tom Sandoval had a big victim edit over on Vanderpump Rules. Hope none of you fell for that. Horseshit. And today we've got Erica Jane, who's just so sad that everybody victimized her last year. Go check out the housewife and the hustler, part two, over on Hulu, and see what an asshole that chick is.

She got her designer thrown in jail. They sick the secret service who's a friend of Tom's on this designer they didn't want to pay the bill. They didn't secret service who is a friend of Tom's on this designer. They didn't want to pay the bill. They didn't have the million dollars to pay the bill. So they charged, they called fraud on him. Do you remember a couple years ago when they were playing that game in, I don't know, was it Aspen? I don't remember where they played two truths and a lie and one of hers was I wore a wire tap in a federal investigation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was this. She sicked the Secret Service on this guy and went in wearing a wire and had him all flustered

and got his ass thrown in jail. Wow. Because they don't want to pay the bill. Wow. Wait, so Secret Service got involved? Secret, they're friends with the head of this, the man who was Secret Service at the time, the head of the Secret Service in LA, like the LA branch or whatever.

And Tom was working on this guy's case to get him more money in a settlement. And so I guess in return as a quid pro quo, this is all legit. But as a quid pro quo, he went and took care of their dirty business for them and put this designer in jail. Wow, so between this and between Secret Service giving Monica a heads up about Jen Shaw, the Secret Service is getting really messy. And let's not forget the Secret Service. Wasn't the Secret Service involved with Jen Shaw too? Or was that just the feds? I don't know. All I gotta say is the Secret Service is really getting involved with our Bravo, which by the way, I love. I love having Secret Service.

Dirty, dirty, well, you know, one of the main characters, two of the main characters in the LA, in the Housewives in the House, are the LA Times journalists who write all these articles. They've been handing Tom's ass for years. They've been up his ass for years. And that was, they're the two who wrote the article

that was too long for any of the Housewives to read. And that's even a clip where she's like, I can't believe I'm on this show. These people can't even read the article. And then it cuts to Kyle being like, can someone explain this? It's just so hard. It's just like so long to get so long sat in. Could you tell us? That was even a clip in the show. But yeah, very, very, very messy, messy stuff. So piss off Erica. And I can't believe that Bravo gave her a freaking spin off. What an asshole.

This woman is an asshole. Don't fall for any of this shit today with her. Oh, all I wanted to do was have someone tell me, Erica, it's not your fault. Yeah. Well, tell that to the queen who made all those gowns for you and all of those outfits. That being said, I think Erica's having the best season she's ever had. She's a damn mom.

That's what I'm saying. And I think we all think that and she is, but don't be, you know, I'm just saying, don't forget. Don't forget that she's a monster. Don't forget. I'm saying don't laugh at monsters. Okay, you know what? Sometimes monsters are good.

That's why they incorporated and they have a cartoon and Pixar. They have people who are, you know what? monsters incorporated, they went, they started, they filed a form with the secretary. They started a company, they have an F-E-I-N-K. But you know what, you know what, it's still monsters, okay? You know what? I want to complain about the service here.

It's too secret. I ordered a salad five hours ago today to deliver it. No one will tell me. You know what, secret service, you don't support other monsters, okay? So that's that on that, so don't fall for it. Okay, so we open this episode, another thing, just another macro, while we're here together.

Might as well take your whole day. By the way, I just want to get a little. Pontificating. A little disclaimer, hopefully the audio is good. We tested it, but apologies if it gets janky because it's not normal. It's us. It's us.

Welcome to our show. It's like a new, it's like not, this is not the normal audio setup. So apologies ahead of time. Well, I love we go on Jeff Lewis and try and get new listeners. And then we show up and we're like, hi, we're making this show with Elmer's glue

and construction paper. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Hi new listeners. So, yeah, another thing is, so this is one of those seasons of Beverly Hills. One week I'm saying, oh my God, nothing needs to happen on the show. This is what we love about it.

Nothing's happening, it's still really entertaining, still love it. And then we have weeks like this where I'm like, nothing is happening on that show. I need somebody to fight with somebody else. This episode was the penultimate of the season, which meant that they had to start tying up loose ends of story arcs that they had built in.

So we just sort of had a lot of little domestic scenes. But that being said, these are also the episodes where we usually have a lot of fun. Because since nothing happens, we just rag on stupid things like, oh my God, did you see that tiling? She's such a stupid whore with that tiling. You know, so, you know, we...

Well, it's also super fun to watch Kyle wrap up what she thinks is a masterful season of like Vanderpump rules copying and trying to have her own Scandival that will come to a head next week where they have to pick the cameras back up to get the fall out of this Kyle Richards phony storyline that she's trying to pass off as real. And it's really funny watching Kyle just trying to wrap this up,

while also being a complete asshole and not being able to get anybody to care about it. Yeah, so why don't we dive in? It starts off, so it starts with Crystal letting her daughter Zoe put eye makeup on her. So I mean, if that doesn't get you excited, I don't know what does, right? Then we see Dorit and kids play, uh, Dorit and her kids playing catch in a park. And, um, you know,

it's pretty much how you would think Dorit plays catch in a park. Jackie, you want to get the ball, Kitchy, kitchy, do it, do it. Do you have the ball? Do you have the ball? Do you have the ball? Diggie. And then he throws the ball. He's like, you got a castle's mama.

She's like, darling, gee, I'm not in little league, honey. I'm in a pantone with boy George getting cream pies in my face. So then we go over to Ann Marie planning a Mother's Day brunch with her planners, Lorianne and Lulet. Who are those? Isn't that a couple? Lulet, I love, how do we not meet Lulet until today?

Lulet. Lulet, wouldn't it be? Lulet, Lulet, Lulet, Lulet, maybe? Oh, me and Bo-Hun together. The couple name would be Lulu. Lulu, Lulululu? Lulululu, maybe? Oh, me and both of them together. The couple name would be Lulululu. Lulululu. Lulululu. Or Lorylu, or Lorylu.

No, it'd be L-O-Fucking-L. I'm Maddie fucking Reese. Maddie fucking Reese. L-O-Fucking-L. L-O-Fucking-L. Yeah, so Ann Marie is gonna do her first proper event. So she's like, I'm thinking like diamonds and champagne brunch from Mother's Day because like who doesn't like date time drinking and who doesn't like diamonds? You um, I'm thinking like a diamonds and champagne brunch from

Mother's Day because like, who doesn't like date, I'm drinking and who doesn't like diamonds. You know, I know my crowd here. I think I could throw like a really good party, like not like an amazing party, but like assault, like 8.5. I think it would be an 8.5 party. Yeah, it's going to be like diamonds and champagne. Um, some people would call them, uh, Cubics or Coneum, but I think that's really unfair because they really work as hard as regular diamonds do and they should really be considered diamonds. So I'm gonna go ahead and just call it diamonds and champagne.

If anyone has a problem with it, they can take it up with the Champagne Association of Diamond America, okay? And now Erica goes to meet with her therapist, Dr. Jenna. And Dr. Jenna's like, oh, hello. How's it going? Ha, it's been a minute. I've been working on this concept. You've been talking about what was it again in Impa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa Get out of my pathee. Get out of my pathee you fucking poor person. Poor paths. Poor paths.

It's like good, good. So empathy, Erica? What's that? Okay. So Erica's like, oh, so much is good stuff. You know, so many things I didn't think were even possible. Now that I've completely been exonerated and nobody's coming after me for anything,

I'm about to get my diamond earrings re-sent to me. Yes, it's funny. It feels like just yesterday you were saying to me, my life is over and then you tried to steal the jewelry off my ears. By the way, do you remember seeing a little Mickey Mouse vase with flowers that was by the door?

I'm not accusing you of anything. It was just super, it was gone once you left. And I'll say, I don't even care that it's gone. I just am feeling bad for you that that's where you're at, that you're stealing Mickey Mouse faces. She's literally just taking everything. Just taking trashcues from amusement parks. Well, you gotta get, you gotta set it somewhere.

So Dr. Jen's like, in one fell swoop, you lost your marriage, you lost your financial security, you lost a friend. And she's like, oh, I'm so afraid. So we come back. Jen's like, in one fell swoop, you lost your marriage, you lost your financial security, you lost a friend, and she's like, oh, I'm so afraid. So we come back and she's like, I was hopeless for a while, but now I've got this residency in Las Vegas. I mean, listen, I'm gonna be singing

while people are asking for more size of blue cheese. Now, admittedly, my band doesn't have a drummer, but we're gonna hire someone to beat the back one of those buckets you put your coins in. It would be like stomp. And she's like, I just want to surpass sort of expectations. And, you know, I'm also afraid. This is me, the vulnerable artist.

Erica, I don't even want to be called Erica anymore. I want to be called this shape. Oh Wait, so that's where the paper clip went. That was just right here, right? You know, I'll buy you some paper clips No, I'm scared. I'm scared of this residency But because apparently there are notes beyond a b and c there's a whole world of F G and shops and flats. I'm scared, new notes! She's like, well, yeah, Eric, I mean, you used to have your husband and unlimited funds

and unlimited resources that would buy you these gigs. And now, you know... Yeah, now look at me. Selling wings. How about this? Why don't we just talk... By the way, I'm such an asshole. When we played Hasselblues, I was like,

this is the best thing that ever happened to us. We need to sign the wall. But when she plays Hasselblues, I'm like, what a loser. They sell chicken wings there. She's famous though. We're not famous. Okay, Erica, let's talk about highlights. Okay, no, I mean, you have my highlighter right now.

I would like that back. Also the highlights magazine that was under that Mickey Mouse face. Could you take that out of your family pack? Did you draw yourself into the pictures where you're trying to find the differences? Yeah, that's me in there. And she's like, yeah, you know, Erica,

it's easy to forget that Tom did support you before things got really bad. You know, he encouraged you How is that hard to remember? The only reason she ever sang anywhere was because Tom bought her places to sing So she's like, yeah, we'll write or wrong good or bad that man Encouraged me. Well to anybody with ears. I'd like to say fuck off again, Tom Gerardi, okay? You know, I have nothing to say now. I mean, Dr. Jen, you say something and she goes, well, you can take risks when you have someone in your corner, you know?

And Tom was the safety net. So, you know, you could walk the high wire, right? Also, I can see that you have a ream of paper in your shirt, okay? I know your cleavage is not a square. Uh. Uh. Are you trying to hot wire my desk?

Roo-roo, man. Listen, I hate to break it to you, but you cannot hide this lawn chair under your shirt. I see you trying, you're just gonna shred your shirt. So then we see a clip of the happy days when Erica was like, oh Tom, I'm Roxie Hart, and I would not have it without you.

And he's like, this is a big deal, baby, I'm proud of you. Oh, that's funny, because weren't you showing this clip as an example of the emotional abuse Tom put Erica through by not supporting her ever? But that was the storyline we were just going with, right? Why are we changing the storyline? Can we pick one and stick with it? Now we're supposed to feel for Tom too and remember how supportive he was. You guys are really trying to pull too much wool over my eyes in one episode. And then they show her going,

thank you. They just kept that snot like inhaling. So she goes, now I no longer have the net. Who? It can get really scary out here. Don't look down. Just keep looking forward. Did the wifi just go off in here? Did you take the wifi router? I was without a net, so I've got to. I want the actual net. Also, I took your DVD copy of the net.

I hope you don't mind. I just really, I've never got to see that movie. Oh, okay. So she's telling us now that, you know, she's pissed off because none of these girls congratulated her on anything. Now that she's exonerated, she is basically a free woman and no one's congratulating her. How dare they? Yeah.

And and she's saying, you know, because everything is like, calm down, but, you know, but she was she was like still mad and when they had the ceremony of releasing Merce's ashes she was still upset and you know she's like well you know something asked us what are we releasing and what are we letting go and it comes to my turn and this is what I did I'm sorry that all you letting go of all you bitches being bitches to me I'm just an innocent singer I'm sorry that all you, I'm letting go of all you bitches, being bitches to me. I'm just an innocent singer. I'm gonna let it go.

You see words. So she's like, yeah, I wanna release what I'm going through with these women, but I'm never gonna get what I'm looking for. And Dr. Jen's like, you know what? Closure has to come from you, okay? People around you, really all we can do is close our ears. Okay?

I think the rest of it is gonna be up to you, Erica. You know, I know you keep saying you're never gonna get what you want, but you know, there are vocal lessons. That will help, that will help. Try that, try it. Can we roll a clip of that? Baa! Baa!

Baaah! Baaah! Baaah! Baaah! You see the goat? No! Get out of my house you fucking weirdo! That's like beautiful like... What do you do here Lasa? I have no idea like I just appeared.

Um, so now, now we go over to Sutton. Sutton goes to the, I assume it's the Bird Bank Equestrian Center. And,, I assume it's the Burbank Equestrian Center, because I think that's the only place where horses are allowed in LA. And she goes up with Avi and she sees this horse. Oh look, there's Santas. He's so majestic and beautiful.

And he's like, that's not Santas. That's different. We see a cross-eyed says mistake. Oh, there's Santos now. He's looking a little boxy and someone just put an envelope and that's that's a mailbox actually. Oh, okay. What does Santos look like? She drunk purchased a horse on the internet. I just want everybody to think about that. Remember that. That's what happened. I drunk purchased, what was the last thing I drunk purchased? I think it was like one of these stupid little lights here,

the E's on the side, it doesn't work. That's what I drunk purchased. I'm like, you know what I need? New studio lighting. And then I get it. I've got like a graveyard of like little zoom camera lighting in my closet. I want horse.

I once drunk purchased a mattress. That was, I was really proud of that. I got really wasted in West Hollywood, went to the club, came back and I said, I'm done a mattress. I'm drunk purchased a mattress. Is it good? I love it. It's Casper.

Casper mattress. Casper mattress. Come on, still good. I was like, we advertise for them all the time. I'm gonna buy one and I did. So she's like, wow, I haven't had my own horse since spending summers in Texas. My grandparents feels like I'm a little kid again. A little kid with a smaller martini. Like a big martini, but a small one. So the Nicole, the trainer was like,

so how are you feeling about riding him for the first time? She said, oh, I'm good. Let's get him back in the saddle. So she walks up this little staircase thing. I didn't know that they had those, which makes sense. Of course they would have something like that, but I've never seen one personally,

but I guess I'm also not very well tuned into the world of horse culture. Horse culture. You're not really a horse girl. I'm not a horse girl. So I learned something today. I learned that there are little staircases and then Erica came and tried to hide the staircase

under her shirt. I was like, really? Try to claim everything. I used to be, well, I wouldn't say friends. I used to know a horse girl in school. You know, you know, horse girls like, I'm from Texas, but they're like really, really long, dry hair that their mom will never let them cut.

Like that's like a source of pride. Their hair is like down to their ankles and stuff. And they're like, oh my God, I've never cut my hair. When they're walking around like bragging in their house, but they get to school and everyone's like, that's like literally disgusting. And then she has like a horse trapper keeper and stuff. And I was kind of felt for her because I was like,

everybody's so mean to her about her hair. I mean, it was me, it was me. That was everybody of felt for her because I was like, everybody's so mean to her about her hair. I mean, it was me. It was me. That was everybody. But, you know, I was like, yeah, to this like, still now. Yeah. Um, so I was always kind of mean to horse girl. No, I wasn't mean to her in my head. I was mean to her, but in real life, I'm nice. I'm not like this in real life. So I was nice to her, but I always kind of felt bad to her cause I felt bad for her cause everybody was mean to her. But then I would be nice to her and she was kind of an asshole, I'm not gonna lie.

Like she was so snotty, like she's so above it all. She was like, you're not a horse person. I'd be like, hi, I'm a theater person. And she's like disgusting. Like horse people looked at theater people with more disdain than normies, like the football people. And I was like, you know what? Fuck horse girls.

Like. Yeah. I only knew one horse girl. Literally get off your high horse. That's where that comes from. Get off your high horse. Yeah. Horse girl.

I feel like I must have known a lot of horse girls without realizing. Cause there were a lot of. Oh no, you would know. I definitely had one friend who was a horse girl and she got thrown off her horse and she lost her spleen because of it. So.

Your spleen? Oh my gosh. I think that she like got thrown off. I don't know what, it was something wild. Something wild. I don't even know where your spleen is. I just, that's just sounds so dramatic like your spleen. Your spleen.

Your spleen. It just fell right out of her ear? How'd that happen? What do spleens do? I think they process fat, I believe. Oh, geez, mine's broken. I might get a new one. Oh, no, no, I'm thinking about gallbladders.

No, I think splines, I forget what splines do. Is that where the spline's generated bile? No, that's the main thing for us. They tell you about things you don't understand. Can someone explain this to me? There would be greed. There would be greed. Splenishay.

So, yeah, Sutton's talking about her horse and making jokes like, hey horse, I'm gonna give you a carrot, but don't eat my diamond carrots. That single Sutton humor. This is a woman who was on her own and ready to take the world on. The horse is like,

neemem, neemem. and ready to take the world on. The horse is like, neem, neem em, neem em. Get it darling, get it, neem em. Then, it's horse humor. If you're horse girl, you get the joke. So she is trotting around and Avi is recording the moment, you know, and then Kyle shows up to just shame her

and rag on her about literally everything, you know. So Kyle, by the way, is a wannabe horse girl. And you know that because she's obsessed with cowboy hats. So she likes to dress like she like as around horses all the time, but she's actually not around horses and she resents people who are around horses. Um, case in point, Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah. But you know, yeah, I think you're right that she's a wannabe horse. Like she's got Morgan Wade,

she's got a country star, like whatever girlfriend now. So yeah, I think she's probably like, I'm a horse person now. And then she goes up to the horses and the horses just, you know how snort horses, well, maybe you don't. But horses, like they just kind of look you up and down. And then they'll sneeze right in your face. And that's a lot of snot, you know? So do alpacas. Oh really? Oh yeah one time I went to an

alpaca farm with our dear friend Michelle Collins and my friend from college Jane and alpacas were so cute and so I went I took a photo with the alpaca and then Michelle took a photo with the alpaca and I'm like Jane go take a photo with the alpaca and Jane was like a photo with the alpaca. And then like, Jane, go take a photo with the alpaca. And Jane was like, no, I don't think I want to. Like, come on, Jane, take a photo. She was like, fine. So about Jane goes right up the alpaca's face.

And just as she gets there at the alpaca, just does a big ol' sneeze. Like alpaca's not right in Jane's face. Right in her face. And it was right when I took the photo. And if you look at the photo, you see her hair being blown back by the alpaca sneeze. Mingo, I love that. I would like to think that a horse would do that to Kyle. A horse probably has to. And if you look at the photo, you see her hair being blown back by the alpaca sneeze.

I love that. I would like to think that a horse would do that to Kyle. A horse probably has to. Just like totally disdain, because you know that the horse, Kyle puts her hand up to the horse, like it's a dog, because that's how dog people are.

We put our hands in every animal's face, because we think that's how you communicate with it. But she like lets it sniff it, and the horse can smell the sugar cues that Kyle was eating in her car instead of giving it to the horse You know, yeah, I just know that you just know that Kyle would be like why is the horse getting this? I want this and then she'd eat it You know and then the horse can smell the sugar cube and then resent Kyle my theory is is the following

My theory is that Kyle has always wanted to be a horse girl, but there's always someone else in her life who was a horse girl. And then Kyle did not want to be accused of copying. So I feel like, I don't know if Kim was a horse girl, but I have to, I feel like Kim was probably like on horses a lot for various roles for whatever. Yeah. And so then Kyle was like, well, I don't want to do a horse because, or maybe even like, Kim even said something like, oh, you're trying to copy me, Kyle? So then she has to be trying to like not like that. Yeah, so I'm into bikes Yeah, and now like every time she's like ready to like literally get on the horse then here comes Lisa Vanderpump on her horse

Yeah, now here comes Sutton on her horse and she just can't she just can't ever find the right moment to be a horse girl Yeah, she's just looking for that which explains actually why she and Marisa broke up because she's deeply unhappy about never being able to fulfill her horse girl dream. It's like I would be here more if my wife rode horses. She be like, damn it! Like I just want her to get in the saddle and like you know, ride a horse. And that's really sad because she actually grew up doing Little House on the Prairie and she was probably surrounded by horse girls Like finally I'm on a Western. I'm gonna be able to ride horses and then Laura Ingalls would be like I'm a horse person now. She's like, oh

Yeah, the Gilbert girl is like guess what guys I just learned how to ride a horse. Yeah, well, it's not Melissa Gilbert What's the other Gilbert Melissa the Gilbert was Laura Ingalls, yeah. So then which is the Gilbert from Roseanne? Sarah Gilbert. Sarah Gilbert, okay, go ahead. And then Gilbert Grape was the one he just couldn't save any of his family, no matter how hard he tried. Gilbert Gottfried was a comedian, RIP.

He died? Yeah! When did he die? Like last year. You know, I was actually wondering where he's been on the podcast charts, because he was like, I'm not even being an asshole, but I was thinking about that the other day.

I was like, I wonder where he's been. He died. I didn't know. Where's, whatever happened to Vincent Price? My RIP, what a talent. Whatever happened to Vincent Price? I don't know, people probably stopped trying, got sick of having to check him all the time.

It's like, can I just check out? Okay, so let's, by the way, that was a, that was a reference for Marisol Patton because she loves, she loves Medjimbenz and Price. That's like a Bingshin Price movie in here. I was wondering where I heard that, but that's where it's time. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.

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It's time for a Crap in's commercial. Okay, so let's see. Horse is Sutton. So Kyle's see Sutton riding the horse and she like oh my god Look at you a jockey. She goes yet the Kentucky Derby awaits So Kyle's like kind of making fun of her or whatever as she as she does Reset yeah, she wants her own horse by the way, and she will get her own horse I guarantee next season cause would be like well I decided I just actually really like horses. So I got five with them instead.

So I love to shop. I can't help it. So then Sutton's like, Oh my God. So let's talk about Merce. So that's healing ceremony. That was just so beautiful. And I was emotional and you know, it was just rough. And so we see the clip of it being rough. And Sutton's like, it was just, I needed to let go of my marriage and I texted Christian this morning and I said, before you leave, I wanna say goodbye and good luck

because he's got a lot on his plate now and I just want him to be happy. And she talks about Christian a lot. And then she said that he wrote back and said, new number, who dis? Didn't really understand that. His text bubble came back green. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, promotion now he's moving I guess this is the London job or whatever and it's a last-doll change for her because she knew you know up until now they're divorced but I knew that if I fail he'd be there to pick me up off the ground after I fail or off this horse but now there is no one to pick me up. Meanwhile Avi's

still running circles around the horse like eat the purple carrot we love you horse. Let's not discount all the friend ploys you've made over the years, okay? You literally have an Oscar nominee in your corner with Jennifer Tilly. Oh, by the way, it's Meg Tilly's birthday today. Who cares about her? I don't care about her.

I only care about Jennifer Tilly. Fuck Meg Tilly. As long as we're talking about celebrity siblings, Kyle and Kim, Melissa and Sarah, Meg- Meg Tilly, the ultimate faker of being a horse girl, so Jennifer couldn't do it. The ultimate. Oh, why?

Does she have a horse? Does she have a horse? No, it's just she has that vibe, like, oh, Jennifer, I'm Megatilly, I'm the more traditionally like movie star of the two of us. And what's Jennifer ever gonna do? She's got a funny voice. She's a weirdo She's placed poker with all her dad's friends and then I'm gonna you know Jennifer is probably like I like horses

And she's like fuck you. I'm a horse person I've decided I was talking to my good friend Quentin Tarantino Yeah, we decided we're both horse people now. So So Kyle is like, yeah, she's like, yeah, so how long have you been divorced? And Sutton says six years or six or seven years. And Kyle's like, oh yeah. L.L. by the way that Kyle doesn't know that.

Yeah, by the way, she was so bad with this. Who's Christian again? Kyle listens to nobody. So then she was like, so did you guys go to therapy or anything? You don't realize this, but you're falling into a trap so I can talk about my marriage instead. And so I was like, no, I don't think we, you know, when we got separated, you know,

I thought that's what we're gonna do, but instead we just had to meet Juleps and bat on horses. I like how she kind of disgustedly said, no, neither one of us has ever been to therapy. Sounds like a ganky thing. I'll bury you. We are both Southern gentlemen and gentle woman. We don't discuss such things in mixed company.

So Kyle's like, oh yeah, well I'm going to therapy now, so I guess we're going to talk about me now instead of you. That was fun, right? Whatever you're talking about. But anyway, I'm going to therapy now, you know, with Mauricio, and we're going talk about me now instead of you. That was fun, right? Whatever you're talking about. Anyway, I'm going to therapy now We know with Mauricio and we're going together and sounds like oh and how's that go and getting full of which Doctory things and stuff and she's like yeah, I mean like well what I've learned in therapy is that like well We've been really working a lot on and taking a lot We've been working a lot and taking a lot on and that like that's really created like so much time apart

Okay, Kyle we know okay. She's like, you know, we're in there, but you know what we've learned we both have very heavy eyecows Okay, he's opening 800 offices across the world. I'm doing Amazon lives once a week I mean it is really it is like wow wow. And Sutton goes, she's like, oh yeah, that's what happened in my marriage because his career just took off and she puts one hand up really high and she goes, and then I just sort of stayed here and she keeps one hand low.

And Kyle's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my hand is up too. She's Kyle's like, no, no, we both are both going up but just in different directions. Yeah, Kyle's like, I just suggested fake leather pants with baggy sweaters like this week. So my hand is pretty much up here. I've tested fake leather pants with baggy sweaters. Like this week. So my hand is pretty much up here.

Yeah, I actually just signed a bunch of Halloween posters. So it's like opening up 85- I mean, was I asked to sign them Jamie Lee Curtis? By Jamie Lee Curtis? Yes, but still, it was like it took a lot of time. I'm a horse girl now. Yeah, I actually just pitched a show to the guy that ran ER for four years.

And it's a show about like when I was like 17 and I was working at a frozen yogurt place. It was Humphrey Yogurt, yeah. So it's gonna- Humphrey Yogurt. We're trying to, that's a real place. I love that. That's where actually Meghan Markle-

We'll always have yogurt, kid. It's a real place in Encino. Of course it is. Actually it's not Encino, it's in Banda. It's Sherman Oaks. Okay, we don't need to vali-hate right now. Can you see, look at me in the picture, I have horns. The point is this, Mauricio is working a lot,

but Kyle is working. Kyle is like actually super, super successful right now. So it's not the same as you, son. You were stagnant, but Kyle is... Now I'm picking the dearest nose. I named that deer Santas. Then how's the deer thing in his office? Okay. Different background. If you want. No, no, I love it. No, I just, no,

don't do it. No, no. Cause I have, I have a bunch of random, I used to change the background all the time. And now I have a background. It's a live cam of where they, where is it? It was a, oh, pheasant. I was like younger on my camera, I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, well, the lighting is, you have better lighting. I would beat up on this camera.

Way overexposed here. Oh, underwater, let's look at what's going on. Did I get bruised? Did Jeff Lewis hit me and I don't remember? Look at me, I'm bruised. Look, this is a live cam of... Let's do that one, I like that. Yeah, remember in Rowney when they went to Elvis's Beach Bar?

This is it, so you see there's actual people right here. Okay, I love it, yeah. These are people who are actually at a bar in the Caribbean right now. Okay, cute, I like it. There's some sort of text down there, but I'm not gonna, we're gonna live with that. I like it, I like that lady's kool-ots.

They're really... I wanna spy. Remember the time when we did this? Sorry, this has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Remember the time when... Everyone's like, oh this has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Remember the time? Everyone's like, oh my God, what happened in the set and scene? Remember the time we were doing a recap of Orange County and I put up a traffic circle in Orange County

and just cars going around in the circle behind me the whole day. Yes. That was my favorite background. Never forget it. Okay, God, that lady really knows how to relax. Look at her sideways sitting with coolots. I love her style.

I think I may zoom in this a little bit because I just want to see more of her. I do too. Okay, let's get her real tall. She's hot. She's on a hammock. Oh yeah, that lady's a hammock storyteller. Oh yeah, and her friend is saying,

okay, Cindy, I know, listen, it's really distracting to have a conversation with you, Swing and Light, can you just please pull up a chair? Yeah, just like I'm getting seasick. Just like, I mean, you're on a hammock, swinging back and forth right in front of the seat. Well, it was hard for me because you know what?

I got my sea legs and now I don't wanna give them up. So I just need to keep swaying at all times. So anyway, I'm gonna try and not look at the swing. I was talking about being a horse person. Oh, I love horses, I just got one. It's like, God damn it, of course it's a... Fucking girl on the fucking swing. Oh, she got up, she got up.

Okay, thank you. She felt it. She feels herself being made fun of. Oh no, going back to hammock now. She's like, I don't care. Can you hold my, oh, I'm gonna allow, now she's lying down. Well, sorry, I guess we're not gonna order

for a little while. She's like here, hold my cell phone. I'm gonna, okay, okay. Marissa's had enough, she's walking. Marissa's like, now I have to watch her in the laying position on that. I'm not gonna sit at this table while you lay down on a hammock and now Cindy is, oh enough, she's walked away. I'm not gonna sit. Marissa's like, now I have to watch her in the laying position on that. I'm not gonna sit at this table while you lay down on a hammock

and now Cindy is, oh, now she's changed her entire position. She's now laying on the other side. Okay, she's requiring way too much attention. She is. Marissa's like, I'm just gonna ignore this. Yeah. Okay, let's go back to the show. So Kyle's like, we had nothing, okay?

And now look at us. I have free Amazon Prime now. So she tells us that they were in the clothing business and they just had Farrah and Alexa. And Alexia was... Is it Alexia or Alexa? Alexia. And he lost his job and was bawling

and she's like, we are going to get a real estate license and it's going to change the world. And now, before you knew it, we had 89,000 companies. And I was like, wait a minute, you skipped a lot between all the people that helped you along the way, namely your sister's husband to get here. Not to take any work away that you've done,

but you know, you don't just go from, he got fired from Dillard's to to owning 900 agencies all across the world exactly where did those clients come from to start the agency? I ask you that So something goes okay. Yeah, your lives have blown up like maybe I mean maybe his blown up a lot more than yours But we'll just say yours blew up too and she goes, yeah, yeah, it's like a lot of change. I mean, his life has blown up. Your life blows. I mean, the movies are in the other.

No, no, no, no. He, you know, you're both doing a lot of things. He's opening up two offices a week for the agency and you're lotting hats on fire and aspen and crying when people don't show up to see it. So you're both very, very busy people. You started wearing a matchstick in your cowboy hat. That's something.

That's something. You woke up at 6.30 a.m. to work out this morning. That's about the same as opening up businesses all around the world. So yeah. So she's like, you know, Sutton's giving her the Pat advice that everyone says, but no one really believes. Like, oh, to make this work,

you both have to make sacrifices. Now, oh, to make this work, you both have to make sacrifices. Now, like, I'm not in love with him and he's an asshole and he's probably cheating on me. And I caught him talking to somebody on fucking Instagram. Okay? And I'm dating someone who's as young as my daughter to like get internet cred.

Like, what are you talking about? Like, we have to make some sacrifices. Yeah. So, Kyle's like, well, what she says, Like we have to make some sacrifices. Yeah. So Kyle's like, well, what she says, we both have to make sacrifices. She goes, well, yeah, but like I'm like, I know, but like he will never not work. I mean, obviously, you know,

you could turn down certain things, like, you know, he could turn down certain things, right? But he just always loves to work. If that man wasn't working, she would be calling him a lazy ass sitting around. I think Carl's just ready to go. Just go. He don't have to have all these reasons. She has been able to distract herself with raising her kids for all these years and now her life is, she's realizing they don't,

it's time to go. Time to go. You're on different shows, you know what I mean? It's over. She pretty much even says it right here. She goes, she goes, you know, like when my kids were little, I did that for like so many years. I would like pick up and drop off at like different times and like there were doctors and dentists and piano lessons and soccer.

And I was doing all that and he really wasn't. And so like now I have the freedom to be able to do some things for me and like, I like it. You know, like being in future films starring Michael Myers, Halloween. So it's like, I mean, look at all you're doing. Going to movies, producing movies, producing movies. What are those, what are those movies?

There's something about Morgan Fairchild? Morgan Wade? I mean, you're doing so much. I think, did I just see on your Instagram story you bought a wedge of Parmesan the other day? That was nice. That was a big, that was exciting for you, huh? That was actually one of my favorite Kyle moments

that really made Kyle real for me when she went to date night with Mauricio and they ate pasta out of the giant Parmesan. That's my favorite. Do you remember? That's why I brought up the Parmesan. Yeah. Because watching her stare at that wheel of Parmesan. Do you remember? That's why I brought up the Parmesan. Yeah. Because watching her stare at that wheel of Parmesan.

It was torturing her. And I totally understood it. I was calling that moment. Yeah. I'm so, I'm sorry. I'm like obsessed with how close I am to the camera in our setup here. I like it.

I have a little head. That's why I'm so far behind you. I look enormous right now. You know, in the theater, you're not supposed to do this because I would be considered upstaging you because I'm forcing you to like turn around and look, which isn't fair. But that's why I said we just look at each other

through here, you know? But I don't care because I have a small head. I'm like Uncle Fester, but many. I'm like a Muppet Baby version of Uncle Fester. I feel like we're in like an old commercial for obsession because they would always have an obsession There's always someone up really close and then someone back being like obsession. Yeah, man Okay, so let's go on to something more exciting Garcelle filming a PSA for cyber smile with her sons

so Yeah Garcelle is basically because her son was cyber jacks with cyber bullied after that whole Diana fiasco, etc, etc She is turning it into a positive by doing a go fund me to raise money for those who have been cyber bullied And I you know look I think it's that's great. And I really like their logo tagline You need to new wheeling Logo tagline you need to new wheeling So she has a conversation with her son and I'm exhausted like I want to bully them Like be quiet. It was very do something else. Yeah, it was very nice

Not very compelling, but it was very nice. Her sons are great. She's great. It's a great cause So that was that. Come on, here comes one right now. So now we go to Sutton, Sutton's going, so now we know that Sutton is feeling youthful because she's going to a place made of famous by band of pump rules. Is there a legato?

That's my bar. That used to be my bar that I hung out down the street from my house. It was a sign that you were coming in the town. They slip on that street. Yeah, I would go hang out there all the time. That is a really crazy place for sitting to be hanging out. I don't think that's like a neighborhood tavern, you know?

She's just making her way down Santa Monica Boulevard. Their first date was, I don't know, she was, she went on a date at Labo M, which is, and then she went down the street a little bit and now she's at Surly Goat. I mean, I think next is going to be, she's going to be at like the abandoned Starbucks you're talking about at Jeff Lewis.

Yeah, I've spent so much neighborhood time over at the Surly Goat. And that's a place where you really go, drink and play darts, like real darts, real down and dirty darts. Also, you know what, they have their shuffleboard. Love that game so much. I love just seeing it.

I love just trying to get the exact amount you're supposed to push something. I haven't played shuffleboard in a very long time. It's a good time. It's a good time. So she's there with Steve and... Don't trust Steve still. Steve's doing his like,

oh, you know what we should do, do, do, do. His fake innocent person eyes, I don't believe him. He's a killer, he's a cheater. Something's off of Steve's financial malfeasance. Mm, I could see that. Cause he definitely has like this nice Midwestern kind of vibe to him, but he could also be evil. He's putting it on. I'm telling you that he does this dough-wide thing

where he's like, what are we gonna, you're pretty funny today sudden. So they meet up and sudden's like, hey, I bring my own mixer. And she takes out a bottle of ocean spray pink grapefruit. And he actually looks fairly scandalized by, he's like, oh, what are you doing there, huh? Some grapefruit juice in your bag. That's a little wacky, huh? Maybe a little too wacky for me. You know what?

You're like Burger King. You like to have it your way. You know, she was like, I don't understand that reference. I don't know where. I'm sorry, what country is that? I don't, most Kings have it their way. I just don't get your humor sometimes. She really doesn't either.

I like that Sutton's really funny to watch, but she really doesn't have a sense of humor at all. No. Sutton's never going to get one. She doesn't get any joke. Never. He's like, hey, so I really like your purse. What is that, Celine?

Love your accent for this guy. I like that he's like a hey, so I really like your purse. What is that Saline? Love your accent for this guy I like these like it's a complete Fargo. I know I His accent sounds like it's Midwestern, but for some reason I'm making him northern Midwestern I'm just sending him into Minnesota. I can't I can't quite modulate. I'm here for like like the simple Wisconsin That's how you see me So it's like, so, um, you have a bag. This is from Celine, like what? Celine Dion makes purses now.

Ha ha ha. She goes, yes, well, um, yeah, it doesn't, it comes from the heart. Get it? Oh, I told a joke. I actually told a joke. Yeah. That was good. I forgot she did that.

I gave friendly joke and he's like, oh, he's like, no way. I was joking, you know, I was just joking about it. He was, no, no, it's like, no way. I was joking. You know, I was just joking about it. He was, no, no, it's Celine. Celine is, Celine is a designer. Oh, okay. So it's not Celine Dion. So you were kidding me then. You were kidding me. Oh, darn. Okay. Well, look at that. Oh gosh, listen to me snort now. Listen to me. And she just looks like gross. So it's supposed to be attractive snorting. She goes, okay, you know what? We should play some darts. Go stand in front of that bullseye thing. Okay, snorter. You know, starting over in life in your fifties is super tough because well, you know, you're

in your fifties and if Tina Turner can start over at 50, so can I. I'm like, well, she, I think she started over when she was 40. Oh, dammit. I did love that though. It's hard when you're 50. You know why? Because you're 50. But if Tina Turner can do it, I can too.

I'm like, the difference is that Tina Turner had a one of a kind voice. So I'm like, guys, let's talk about Tina Turner. So they do some awkward flirting and she's like, I don't know if it's gonna work out, but it's very symbolic of a new chapter. The new setting, and I'm new and I feel really good. And it's not hard on the eyes either. You know, let's just see where this goes. So would you like another day?

He's like pulls out his wallet, there's a 10 in there. Nevermind. Goodbye. Goodbye, getting back to your country. Berger. Berger. Berger. Having something somewhere way. I don't know. So now Kyla Maricio's teeth go to their little bar that they have in their living room.

Kyla Maricio's teeth. Those things do lead, man. They are. I mean if they were in ballroom class, they would definitely be doing the forward dances because they take the lead. Those teeth are the first thing in the room. They make Culver from Below Deck down under

look like a candidate for homeless, not toothless. If he was at a crosswalk and smiled at me, I would walk into traffic. I would think that the light turned white. It literally looks like someone put up a picket fence in his face. If he was on CSI, his teeth would be able to tell who came where. His teeth literally look like a 1920s bandstand.

Like there should be like little trombones behind them. They are bright and fresh. So they're talking at their home bar and Kyle has put out food and then Marito eats it and then she badgers him for eating it and being disgusting, which is my favorite. Like that Kyle just hates him so much. She's like, you're gonna do another scene

where I'm gonna blindside you about our relationship and then anytime you eat anything I put out for you to eat, I'm going to make you feel like shit for it. I hope you're enjoying the storyline. I just want to interrupt to say that Hammock Lady, I think is actually really wasted. She just got up from her hammock and she stumbled over to the table and then she like went and tried to kiss

one of the people at the table and now she's back on the hammock and she's about to fall off. You know, Hammock Lady really is too much. She's going too hard on the hammock. She's like really like, where in Mexico I'm gonna relax. I mean, she is aggressively hammocking up and down. That's not how you hammock, babe.

And she also can't get her damn hands out of her hair. She's doing the thing with her hair. She's like, guys, it's so hot right now. Oh my God. That girl's a mess. She's not getting attention from anybody. She's trying to get it. Look, she's trying to be sexy and like play with her hair. No one's paying attention. She keeps changing position

Going higher on the thing girl. No one is into you. Just stop go to a different table You know what I mean? Literally the three other people at the table are not paying her any mind Oh, she's trying to point at something. No, look at that. Look at that everybody look at that. They're look. They're barely turning There's a tree just kidding. Oh look guys turning there. It's a tree, just kidding. Oh, look guys, I swear there's a tree there. Like, yes, that's what your hammocks attached to. This girl is the biggest nightmare. No one wants to go on vacation with this girl.

She keeps, she really does change position quite a bit for someone on a hammock. I think like the joy of being on a hammock is that you can just sort of like plop down and be in a position for like two hours. And she just constantly up and down and left and right. She needs to get her hands out of her hair. Do you want to look like this, Bald?

That's how you do it. Yeah, she's wasted. Okay, so Kyle brings up couples therapy, blah, blah, blah. And Mauricio's just being like, you know, like breathe, I just want you to say whatever you've got to say, huh? I was like, oh my God, gross, you eating? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to eat.

You're disgusting. Just chew it. I mean, it's on your mouth. I mean, seriously, while we're talking. Yeah, Kyle, like, Marisa is clearly like a bit uncomfortable about talking about therapy on camera, but he's also trying to be a good partner and show that like, he can do it.

So he's like trying, he's sort of doing this like uncomfortable smile the whole time. He's trying to be positive and she will not let him put a positive spin on many things. Yeah, because you know, they're talking about therapy and like sharing and stuff. And he goes, yeah, well, you know, it becomes fun. She's, I wouldn't say fun.

Like actually, no, but therapy, I actually think therapy can be fun because it's like you find, you discover things about yourself that are like, like finding all the connections or it can be like very exciting. You're like, wow, that was a, like I thought it was gonna be this like serious

and sad thing with like, like torment, like inner torment. And it's actually like, oh, I actually learned why I do the things I do. And that's kind of fun. And but she will not let him have that. Yeah. She's like, I wouldn't call it fun. I mean, I would say that like,

I mean, I wasn't having fun. I was not like I was laughing in those sessions. And he goes, okay, okay. Uh-huh. I get you, I wouldn't call it fun. I mean, I would say that like, I mean, I wasn't having fun. I was not like I was laughing in those sessions. And he goes, okay, okay, uh-huh. I get you, I get you, I hear you. All right, you fucking literalist, okay, come on. She's like, my point is that I just like, don't think that's right, adjective. Okay, yeah, I think we get your point, Kyle.

And she's like, I think it feels good. I mean, I would say good. And he goes, okay, good, good. I love the adjective, good. I'm good with that, you know? But listen, it's been a tough few months and it's been a tough year, whatever, whatever you wanna call it.

Yeah, cause it's been more than a few months. Okay, then a year, it's been a decade, decade, century. Time-out. Century, you know? Yeah, so then she goes, yeah. And I just, I hope it helps you kind of reflect. So then he has this little finger sandwich in his mouth or a bite and he's like,

well, you know, like that's what I'm gonna be like in tune, you know, right? Like reflects, I'll let you finish up. I'm like, you know, Kyle, let the man have a, you put snacks out, you're allowed to eat a snack while talking about your therapy. It does not mean that he cares less about the therapy because he decided to take a bite

of a cucumber and smoke salmon guess you can smoke them. Go ahead and eat. I'll just be over here waiting and dreaming of the horse that I never got to ride. So she's like, he's saying, I, all I'm saying is like, it's helping us, you know, cause like we're in a way better place and, uh, you know, it's been 27 years and, but now we have so much going on, you know, in our lives and, uh, you know, it's, uh, it's hard, right? Yeah, it's become it's become really hard. So, wow, we're kind of reversed it there. It's weird that Camille

Grammer just walked into the scene and started joining in. And she's like, well, it's not like I'm someone who's gonna like, why you're at work, like stay home and just like go shopping and stuff. I mean, I'm not gonna just do that. Kyle, your whole thing this season has been, I love to shop. One thing I'm really good at is shopping. Put me in a gas station, I can come away and shop. Oh, look, there's a vendor in Barcelona, I'm gonna shop.

All I really wanna do is shop. She's like, how dare you insinuate that I'm gonna just stay around here and shop. I'm like, don't you wanna do that? I'm not even judging you. I would want to do that. Here's the problem. I think here's the overall problem because nothing they say here really matters

because it's bullshit. Like I think here's the problem she's facing. She is coming off as very unlikable because she's just coming off as badgering him. If she's not going to share what he did or what's going on, I believe he either cheated or the rumors were old queen in a bar told us she found some message on his, she found a message in his DMs that he's been talking to something.

But she said something about, but apparently, you know, there was something going on that she's not really talking about or they show a clip of her next week when they have this big family conversation of being like, you've got something on your nose and doing this, like suggesting he's doing coke or something in the family meeting, which so if he's doing something you need to tell us,

cause right now the, maybe it's the way it's being edited or whatever, all we see is you, you going around with some hot young person. So it looks like you're cheating on him right now and openly and not giving a shit about his feelings and saying, well, okay it looks like you're cheating on him right now and openly and not giving a shit about his feelings and saying, well, okay, well, I can cheat on him because he's going to agency parties, which isn't in the scheme of things. It's not the best reason to be cheating on somebody, especially so boldly. And then it looks like when he's

trying to like be nice to you or talk to you or go to therapy or do everything that you're asking him to do, you're being an absolute badger and an asshole to him. So whatever you're doing, and I'm not saying any of this is true. I'm just saying this is how it's coming off. So she needs to like fix these optics because she should have us in the palm of her hands a season. And you know what, there was a moment where she kind of did like, there was definitely a moment where I was like, I'm really liking this.

Kyle, I feel like the real and authentic Kyle is coming out. Um, I think that like what's going for her is that she has gone through a terrible tragedy with her friend, her kids are out of the house and she's kind of like reexamining everything and realizing that actually there's, there's a lot more emptiness going on there or maybe like at this time when she is, um, where she needs Mauricio the most after her, after her friend died by suicide, he's off and busy, which I think is a very, like that is hard. That's a very hard, real thing. And so like, I get that, but what's funny is that

all the footage that they keep on showing in terms of showing how an attentive Mauricio is, all the footage is gonna be like, oh, so you wanna come to a party with me? No. Exactly. You wanna come to, I've gotta do a business thing in so you wanna come to a party with me? No. Exactly. You wanna come to, I've gotta do a business thing in Portugal. Wanna come to Portugal with me?

No. So, are you- And she's like, I need this. He's like, okay, well, do you wanna go to Portugal? No. Okay, well, this thing is coming. You wanna do it as a family? She's like, no.

It's not to say that he's, that that's evidence that he is attentive, because I can see how he is really busy and she probably needs him in a different way right now. But it's just funny to me that like, if they are trying to give Maricio a villain edit, it's to me, it's not really like- They're making him look better.

She's making him look better. It's so weird. And I get it too that he's not, like I will believe everything that Kyle says, okay, he's not there. He's doing all this other stuff, which we see that he's doing. Like it's obviously true that he's doing all this other stuff, which we see that he's doing. Like it's obviously true that he's doing all of this other stuff.

But yeah, you're right. Every time it cuts to him, he's like, how can I change this? What can I do to help? You want to go to therapy? Okay, I'll do it. You want to spend more family time together? Okay, let's do it. Let's, here's how we can do it.

And she's like kind of shooting him down and then being an asshole to him at every turn and I just, it's just bad. It's just bad optics and it's typical Kyle. Like this is going to be my season that it's like, go Kyle, you do your own thing, but it's not turning out that way at all. It's becoming like, oh my God, Kyle's cheating on her husband and then giving him shit. That's how it's starting to look to the rest of us. So I believe that there's more than meets the eye.

I believe I do too. I think that like Kyle's, uh, eye. I believe, I don't- I do too. I think that like Kyle's dissatisfaction with Mauricio is grounded in something real and I believe it. I don't doubt it. I don't think this is like a thing that she's doing for a storyline. I'm not saying you said that either,

but I just think it's funny that what we are seeing- I do kind of think it's for a storyline. Well, either way, what we are seeing from Mauricio is like, I don't think it's like he's going to therapy with you He's trying to connect. He seems shocked every time she does this on camera where she comes from on camera He seems shocked. It seems like she's saying hey Maricio, you know, we need to shoot a scene today It's just gonna be easy. We're just gonna talk about our relationship He's like, oh, okay, and then the cameras roll and she's like you do you're doing everything wrong

He just looks shocked every single time. He's like, Love bead. Yeah, he's like, what? And then like, don't forget when she was like, by the way, I got another tattoo. Huh. And he's like, was it my name?

Did you put my name on your body? No. Oh, do you want to put my name on your body? No. Stop trying to control me. Like, okay, geez. Yeah, so anyway, my point is, misfire. This is, you're not aiming.

No, also. You're like a drunk man at the surly goat. Your aim is terrible. There's piss all over your floor, Kyle. You're like, you're like hammock lady trying to sit down in her hammock, not doing it gracefully. Oh my God, still playing with her hair and lifting her arms over her head.

Like, you're terrible at this. By the way, they just ordered food because the waitress came over and then she handed out roll-ups and then took back menus. So they just ordered food. So they're probably like, okay, well, Cindy probably needs, we need to get some food on her.

Like I literally hate this girl right now watching her. Isn't she, isn't she hateable? I know, I started to kind of laugh when you were doing your spiel because I was getting so distracted by this fucking girl. She she's like literally the worst. Everything we're saying about her, she's actually turning into truth times a hundred. And there were some people who walked by who clearly were like about to sit down

and were like, Oh no, that girl's wasted over there. Yeah, she's literally the worst. Elvis's beach bar, by the way, if anyone wants, well, no one's gonna. I just hope that someone at Elvis's is listening. And then it's like, I can tell you everything about that woman right now. I think we know everything. She's already telling us everything about her.

Okay, let's go to Ann Marie's champagne and diamonds bronze. So she's like, I got a glass squad and she's like, oh my God, that's amazing. Like everybody's gonna be here. It's so amazing. It's what everybody wants. They want food, they want champagne, they want like that's what you do on Mother's Day.

You know, like we're all gonna all come together as moms. Like we're gonna feel pampered. Like, you know when you can like go to a store then try everything on but not to get to take, not get to take anything home. This was gonna be like today. Cause she's got a jeweler so they can all try on fancy jewelry, but then not, I don't understand that.

Like. It's just a flex. It's a flex. It's a weird flex. Like you got to borrow things? Who cares? I know someone who, I know a jeweler and you have the jewelry. You can buy some stuff, but no one buys it at this party.

No one does. No one's buying a million dollar necklace at an Ann Marie part. Like who wants to commemorate that Ann Marie party with a million dollars spent? Yeah. so now we go to Crystal getting glammed up and she's talking to her glam squad and she's like so amore's hosting a brunch at her house it's called champagne and diamonds I know it's so stupid and I feel

like it's just like a little weird because I just had like so much conflict with her on this trip oh my god my veins my veins okay sorry I I was actually just looking at a power cord. Anyway, so I got sick and I had to go to the hospital and she was like really supportive and helpful, which gives me hope for like that we can move forward with our friendship, you know? No, no, it's not gonna work out. It's not. Sorry.

It's not gonna help. And for Ann Marie's part, she's like, oh my god, I'm gonna FaceTime with my husband. And he's like, wow, our connection is mediocre, but I guess that's part for the course. She's like, yeah, so, Crystal's gonna come over. I'm just so sick of this negative energy. He's like, oh yeah, it's not even interesting

negative energy cells. I mean, it's basically like an 8.5, I think as far as energy goes. So, now Garcell is in glam. I'm like, well, it's the first time Point five, I think, as far as energy goes. So now Garcelle is in glam. I was like, well, it's the first time everyone's gonna be at Anne-Marie's. Ha ha ha ha ha.

So, um. Hold on, let me talk to my son about it. We're like, fast forward. Okay, so then we go to Sutton. Okay, everybody's getting glabbed up. Who cares? Who literally cares about it? Well, no, we have Doree talking.

Yeah, Doree, that's where I was going back. So Dari is talking to PK and she's like, Beep, beep, and he's on the phone. He's like, sorry, not gonna be there. But it's Mother's Day. He's like, we don't care about Mother's Day in England, darling. We literally have someone called the Queen Mother here.

Every day is Mother's Day. We're not allowed to have actual mothers. We just say Queen Mother, R-I-P. But I'm your children's mother, and I would like for you to make a more concerted effort from now on to be together for Mother's Day. Well, babe, I am there in spirit because why don't you look to your right?

Ladies and gentlemen, Berlin. Can I just point out that Derrit is having the actual storyline that Kyle is trying to have? Yeah. Because every time Kyle is trying to have the storyline, Mariete seals there being attentive to her. And every time Doreet is trying to pretend the storyline is not happening, PK is really gone and like, I'm not into anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm with my other family now. I literally thought that this was gonna be a big surprise and that PK was gonna show up for Mother's Day and was like, see babe, I am here for you after all babe. But nope, no, he was like, see you in London. So no one really cares about Mother's Day and your American holidays babe.

Yeah, I hate you, hope you die. So then we see that he's still there and he's not planning on coming back. Nope. Really? So then we go to Anne Marie's brunch and she's- By the way, Anne Marie's brunch, full of people. There's like a hundred people there. There were just so many people walking around this thing. She definitely was like, I'm a newbie and I want to show everyone that I'm popular. I'm not like Crystal who only has 14 friends. They all befriended her. Like I have lots of friends to walk around this party right

now. It's like hospital people. Yeah. Like office party kind of thing. Mary Cosby but not happy. Yeah. She probably just was like, hey girls come, come, you know, come to my house. I'm like, oh my god, that's gotta Emery's mansion. That's fucking amazing. So yeah, it actually made me kind of trust Emery because she has a lot of people who seem very nice that are her friend. So I was like, okay, then that means she's probably a nice person. But man, she's really blowing this first season.

Yeah, I'd be shocked if she gets a second season because people don't seem to really like her. But I think also her husband has done a lot of damage because they're like really terrible. Well, there were a lot of rumors, but now like actual lawsuits or accusations against him. And I think that Bravo's just trying to clean their hands of her at this point. But yeah, I mean, she has friends, so that's nice for her. Something.

So people come in and she shows them the jewelry setup and stuff and I don't know, Erica comes in and she's like, oh, will you offer me a champagne? It looks like someone broke that glass there. Stupid champagne, all this dumbasses. Oh, I'm sorry, do I need to apologize to you too? I'm so sorry. All right, I'll be inside, you fucking losers.

Yeah, and there's a lot of Garcelle. Garcelle is sort of like lingering by that jewelry also. And she's like, well, this is a ring that you have to give a BJ for every day. Ha ha ha, gladly. Don't threaten me with a good time. Yes, Christ sells thing in every scene now. She's just gonna show up and be like, are you married?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Let me tell you about my kids. Wow, where did you go? So people are walking around, Emery is like, like so Erica. What did you think about the trip? She's like, yeah, well, I was a little shocked at the anchor that I had at the Merce then whoever Merce was and Other than that, I'm good. You know, I'm glad that Crystal's feeling better And you know if you want to get mad at her right now you want to do that That'd be kind of fun need something to do right now. It's want to yell at the crystal or something, you know

That'd be kind of fun need something to do right now. So why don't you yell at a crystal or something? You know Like that's like wow, what about that memorial service we had for that dead guy? Well, you know, I was pretty angry that day That was fun. Well making it about yourself at every fucking turn. So then Let's see and Marie hasn't done. We just thought this is basically a party where they go and Marie. How do you feel? She's a hoe though. I can make up with the. Emery, how do you feel? She's like, I hope that I can make up with Crystal. Crystal, how do you feel? I'm sick of having fights with Emery. Kyle, how do you feel? Well, I'm sick of them fighting.

Sutton, how do you feel? Merce is dead. Garcelle, how do you feel? I fuck Merce if he was still here. Ha ha ha ha. Was Merce married? Ha ha ha. It's just like a merry-go-round.

Yeah. So Kyle comes in. Kyle, by the way, she walks into Ann Marie's place and is instantly jealous. Did you see the jealousy on her eyes? She's looking around. She sees how popular Ann Marie is. All these friends, tons of jewelry, an enormous spread. Like Ann Marie came and really showed up things and you know, Kyle was not going to have it.

Like we see previews at the end of this episode for next week where Kyle has some sort of party at SoFi Stadium, because you know that party was originally just gonna be like in their backyard. She's, Maricio, if you wanna save this marriage, we are gonna show up in Marie, rent out SoFi Stadium. Yeah, she's like, oh wow, this is so over the top. Whoa, whoa, so much food. Wow, wow, wow, whoa, whoa, so over the top. Whoa, whoa, so much food. Wow. Wow. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. So over the top. So, um,

she let's see Erica arrives. Okay. If we already did that, okay. So it shows up next and sons all, uh, sons upset that there's no handball. Is there really no hand rail? What is wrong with these people? Oh, but notably, sons also wasted because Avi has made her a roadie that was essentially like a pint glass of vodka. So she's wasted and she is struggling going up a staircase that has no handrail. I love that Sutton's whole thing is how dare you suggest that I have a problem with alcohol and not eating.

No, I will not eat that. Get me a drink. She's like falling down if she enters parties Yeah, so So that there she comes in and they're like, oh my god Yeah, oh And then we're like, oh my god, you brought a roadie didn't you can we get you a glass? I bring roadies everywhere doesn't everybody carry roadies I can't imagine being friends with a group of people who are like, oh my god

He brought a roadie my friends are like, oh my God, he brought a roadie. My friends are like, nice work. Did you bring any extra money? Like pull the shit out of my backpack. So then she was right to because Corbella's being served at this party. That's bad, right? I think I feel like Corbella's sort of like mid tier, like mid low tier.

I don't know, like the bottom of the barrel is like Andre, right? Like Andre and maybe Barif tier. I don't know, like the bottom of the barrel is like Andre, right? Like Andre and maybe Barifat, I don't know. But then Vove, Vove is, Vove and what's it called is gonna be at the top, Chandon. I forget, what's the, what are the top? It's there's something even higher than Vove. Oh, Dom Perignon, Cristal.

Yeah, Corbel I think is more like. Like I didn't even know to be embarrassed, but I read comments later. I feel like that's embarrassing. So now I'm embarrassed. I think Corbel is like a step up from Andre, but yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's like when you go to trade, when you get that Prosecco from Trader Joe's, you know,

it's like nice with your friends, but like at a party on real houses of Beverly Hills, maybe not. You know. Okay. So they start talking about diamonds. They're all oohing and alling over these diamonds and talking about giving blowjobs for the diamonds and Erica's like, well I love diamonds but have been enough fights over fucking rocks so forget it. All right, I don't need any more of this. Next thing

you know they're gonna accuse me of stealing my in. Ma'am, you are piling jewelry into your bag and we're all seeing it right now. Who leave? No, never did such a thing. Don't know what we're talking about. So Erica's like, oh, Crystal, I just wanted to say thank you because you're the only person who said I'm really sorry I contributed to your pain. And then they cut to the trip for Crystal goes, I'm really sorry I contributed to your

pain. It's like, wow, she's she really getting literal about that apology. Yeah. And, uh, uh, gross, there's still lots of like stuff. Everyone else is still talking about jewelry and everything. And Anne Marie decides that she is, uh, going to pull Crystal to have a discussion. So she's like, Hey, uh, Crystal, can I talk to you for a second here? Thank you so much.

Okay. Let's go sit down. Okay. Hey, so I want to you for a second here? Thank you so much. Okay, let's go sit down. Okay, hey, so I wanna get to a better place with Crystal because I don't wanna keep harboring this resentment towards her, you know? And Crystal's like, yeah, I just wanna tell you really quickly. Just so you know, I went to my doctor's yesterday and he said I need to start working out more. So thanks for helping me get to that realization.

So it's a really long time for them to basically say, I'm not apologizing to you. Let's just move forward. They both do it, which I kind of like. They didn't do they didn't re litigate it. They were just like, you're an asshole and I'm an asshole. So let's just be assholes, but still go to the same parties. They're like, Oh my God, what a good idea. Let's pretend that you forgot that I said that you were claiming to be a doctor and I'll pretend to forget that you said that you were making me relevant and

we'll just go keep having this fake friendship and it'll be great. Yeah. So then Kyle's like, oh my god what's going on all the ladies are watching. It sounds like mind your biscuits. So then after the fight they're like, we made up everybody. Well, congratulations. Everybody was on the edge of their seats. I can tell you at my house, things were just really tense worrying about this argument. America was concerned.

And now America could let out a collective sigh of relief now that these two had squashed their beef. And this was the most life, one of the most lifeless parties we've had on the show in a while. And I'd just like to congratulate Ann Marie on keeping that legacy going. You are killing it.

So they all, after all this happened, they all kind of like wind up sitting down on the sofa together and you know, Emery and Crystal say that they squashed everything and Erica's like, well, I think all of us really like each other, but I would love it if we stood up for each other more. And that's what I want. That's why I want to say something. Sit up for each other more. We watched five seasons in a row of you and Rena and Kyle and Doree banding together

and running people off of the show. You guys definitely stand up for each other. Yeah. And they stood up for you last year. I mean, that should have been a lot worse for you as I mean I agree with Kyle and DeRita who are really offended. They're like what the hell bro? So she's like yeah, you know, I look at look at you and part of me wants an apology But the other part thinks they should come to me

I shouldn't have to ask for it and DeRita's like he's but Erica You don't believe I was supportive of ya. And she's just, oh, well, we were at Kathy's dinner and you said that everybody was dragged into it. They were. And that's when Erica's getting mad that they're all asking questions. They're all being hounded about it every fucking day.

Erica, you have to answer questions about it. Sorry. Yeah, because they don't wanna have to do an interview and say something and like blindly support you. And then it turns out like maybe you were more complicit in something and then they look like assholes. So Derit's like, you know, yeah, we see that clip from that dinner where Derit's like,

we didn't ask to be in this situation, Erika, we just are. So if that's the situation, then we should all be scared. So Derit's like, you know, I said one line, one little line, and all the other 18 months of support, that means nothing to you anymore. I didn't say that. All I said was this symbol. Is that a paperclip? Who uses those anymore?

I thought you couldn't afford those. Isn't that the symbol for Prince? Turns out, paperclips clips you can undo them, make them into little shapes and sell them at Venice Beach. So it wasn't easy supporting that girl, but we did it blindly. They did. Quite frankly, they did do it blindly. And Kyle's like, well, I mean, you said just like a second ago as a group, like as a whole.

And like Sun and Garcellelle They had a very different position Meaning they hated you but we had a very similar position Like we supported you and I took issue with just like how you were handling and I never doubted that you didn't know anything And I said that to everybody and anyone who would listen to me Which was quite a large number of people because as a working actress people tend to care about what I say And so on the after show I saw a clip of it and Kyle's like, yeah, well, some people just wanted it to be true so badly. Erica, I never believed it, but they wanted it to be true.

And she's like, thanks for saying that Kyle. Thanks for saying it. Cause I felt it and no one else will say it. And the producer was like, so, I thought you made up with Sutton, what's going on? And she's like, she made a joke about how much my tickets cost fuck her. I'm just that's not a real friend. So Erica, Erica's like well thank you thank you for acknowledging that thank you. So Sutton says like you know oh by the way Erica I apologize because I caused you a lot of. I hated this. Sutton falling all over herself to apologize to Erica. This is ridiculous.

You talked about what was in the fucking LA Times as a big, huge story on the LA Times. Look at those people waving at us. Are they waving at us? She does not need to apologize. And then Garcelle's like, well, I didn't want you to fall, but I had an opinion and I'm gonna stick by that forever. Thank you. Seeing Garcelle's like, well, I didn't want you to fall, but I had an opinion and I'm going to stick by that forever. Thank you.

Seeing Garcelle makes it all worth it. There may be scenes that I'm like, what? Garcelle, do something. But then she does. And I'm like, thank you, Garcelle. This is really all I need. Garcelle is just her home storylines are just not very interesting. But when she's in a group, she's great. But I love her just not being afraid of anybody and just being like, no, like you don't get to come in and just suddenly be a villain. We were asking you legit questions and I'm not gonna apologize to you, sorry.

I just wanna say thank you for hearing me. I have let go, except for the fact that I'm clearly not let go because we're having a senior bath this right now and I am moving forward and now we can fight about someone else. Ha, I'm just kidding, just kidding. But we didn't seriously fight about someone else. Ha! I'm just kidding, just kidding. But we didn't seriously fight about someone else. And that's when we find out next week is the season finale.

And it looks like that's when Kyle's going to bring the house of cards down. And Kyle's got, we see that scene where she's sitting next to poor Arshia saying, guys, we'll still be a family. We'll always be a family. And poor Arshia's like, because poor girl's life is obviously being turned upside down. So we'll see that fun scene next week. Much to look forward to.

In the meantime, go vote for the crappies. Go buy your tickets for the crappies, whether it's gonna be in person or whether you're gonna do it on moment, go to watchacrappies.com for all that stuff. And we'll be back on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye. Bye everyone! Bye!

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