Watch What Crappens - #2328 RHOP + Below Deck: Barbie Askew

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

RHOP goes on vacation and then on Below Deck (recap starts at 22:16 minutes) Fraser isn’t playing with Barbie and the Chef has put everyone on an unrequested diet. Is revolt far behind? To watch the video version of this recap and for this week’s Summer House bonus episode, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. And grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch What Crappens Well, hello everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Geo Bravo. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Great. Good to see you, everybody. Welcome.

Today we're doing Below Deck and Real Housewives of Potomac. We're going to open with some Potomac. If you want to skip that, if you're only here for Below Deck uh just look in the notes and there will be a time code in theory for you to be able to jump to the Below Deck recap unless I forget to put them which I always do every single time we do this but it's Below Deck is coming after that recap um we've been slacking a little bit on Real Housewives of Potomac only because we're not slacking at all in our real lives. We've been really busy. And Potomac has not been great.

It's not been a great season. So instead of throwing our negativity at it every week and complaining about it, we have been positive by leaving it alone. So you're welcome. Consider that a big hug. That is a big hug. I mean, look, sometimes you have to make difficult choices.

And we all know, it's not just us. Everyone's been talking about that. Potomac's had a difficult season. As it turns out, I thought last night's episode was actually pretty fun. I felt like it was like glimmers of hope. I enjoyed it. Before we get into that though,

in case you have missed the big news, we are finally, for the first time ever, bringing our show to Europe. We are doing a show in London. We're doing a show in Birmingham. Tickets for those shows go on sale tomorrow, which is Wednesday, if you get this Wednesday the 21st. Really excited. Watchitcrappens.com.

It's going to be a great time. For years, people have been saying, please do a show in London. We have a lot of listeners out there. So come one, come all. We are psyched for that. But also, not only that, we are really excited. In the midst of all of our crappies madness, we really didn't get to announce very much that we are also going to be part of Netflix as a joke. And we are going to be doing a show in May at the Kookaburra Lounge, which is owned by our wonderful friend Katie, who did perform on The Crappies with Walter. And speaking of The Crappies, if you missed The Crappies, the replay of that is available on Moment for the next about two weeks, just under two weeks at this point. So all the links for every single thing will be, if they're not already there, at WatchYourCrappens.com.

So go check that out. And we want to see you in all the places with all the things. Okay, so let's get to it. Let's start with a little Real Housewives of Potomac. So last week, they did a Mother's Day brunch, I believe was the last week's thing, right? Ashley?

I think so. It was actually two weeks ago because they took a week off for the Super Bowl, so I'm a little hazy. Oh, so we did it was that one. Yeah. So last week, you're right. Last week was NECA's party to come unpack me for free.

Okay. This lady's really pushing it. First of all, hey, you're not funny. You came on the show. You're doing nothing funny. Okay. You're not entertaining me. I really like the mom is a witch storyline personally but i will credit wendy's mother with that instead of you as she's the one submitting shrines uh names to

shrines uh so i think wendy's mother not you um i don't think you're being very funny and then you have a party where you make everybody come unpack your shit how dare you okay what's next a swiffer party am i supposed to show up with a swiffer to clean your fucking house no a pool cleaning party no yeah how dare yeah we with the shrine the shrine fight like continues to live on on this show so neca and wendy they have a sit down and um they're like neca i think i feel like neca is is trying to kind of like, let's move on. Can we get to some resolution? And Wendy's just not having it. NECA is like, you know, your mom submitted my name to her shrine. I don't like this.

And Wendy's like, but you called my mom a witch. And it's just funny because Wendy is of that school of like, did something to you. This person reacts. And now you're mad at their reaction to what you did initially. And so she just will not give up this thing that you call my mom a witch. Obviously, no one likes when anyone says anything about anyone's mom.

But Nneka says, I apologize for calling your mom the name of a witch, and I also apologize for calling you a bitch. Nneka threw in a bonus apology that wasn't even asked for. She throws that in, and Wendy's like, thank you. but then she brings it up again you call my mom a witch you call my mom a witch well i guess the argument is you should never bring the mother into it never never well sorry your mom's the one who made the call and threatened to submit someone's name to a

shrine so and by the way we saw your mom on camera not even denying it. So Wendy shows up to this meeting completely ice cold. Like Wendy is just not going to be cool to this chick no matter what. I don't know that I really blame her. I think when it gets to the mother thing, I get it. But it's a TV show. And like we've said a zillion times by now, you have to shoot with the people or you have no place on the show. If you don't want to do the show, get off the show. Okay, goodbye.

So she shows up ice cold and um we kind of hear a bit of uh neca's side of this which is like uh she doesn't back down first of all which i like i respect because wendy's playing it so hard that most of us would probably back down i would but um neca't. And she starts kind of crying and she's like, listen, your mom submitted my name to a shrine and everybody knows how serious that is in Nigeria. You know, everybody, you know what it means, which is kind of the first time that no one's laughed off her side of it because everyone's kind of laughed off her side of it. And these two take it very seriously. It sounds very silly to us in our culture. Like, you submitted your name to a shrine.

That's dumb, you know? Because it's not, we don't have that, you know? So to us, it sounds really out there. But in that culture, they really believe that. And that's a serious thing for her. So I'm kind of glad she got that part in there. Because I feel like people just blow her side off of this whole thing. So then Wendy's like, well, my mom and sister categorically deny the accusations

no they don't because your mom was just on this show admitting that she called leba and she said they show the clip of that and she said i wanted her to know it's hard to make a friend but it's easy to make an enemy which i don't care what culture you're from that sounds like some godfather shit right there yeah and i and when she even said that we talked about it like i can see a world in which that's meant not as a threat like there's a way to contextualize that where it's saying like hey don't like me in this fight it's so much it's so hard to have a friendship like you should savor this because it's so hard so much, it's so hard to have a friendship. Like you should savor this because it's so hard to do it.

It's so easy to have an enemy. But the truth is, it sounds like a threat. It sounds like a threat. And I think it's not unreasonable to interpret it that way. And the mom even says like, well, you know,

I mean, I never submitted her name to a shrine. All I did was submit her name to a shrine and say, you know, like keep sleep with one eye open. That. All I did was submit her name to a shrine and say, you know, like keep sleep with one eye open. That's all I did. You know? Yeah.

And to be fair, she didn't, I know you're joking, but she didn't like technically admit to the shrine part. She just admitted to the, to the making the call and the veiled threat part, but still. So it starts with Nneka saying,

you know, everyone in Nigeria knows how serious that is. And that's, you know, your mom submitted my name to shrine and she goes yeah but you also know the impact of calling someone's mom a witch yeah but your mom was acting like a witch first so i'm sorry you don't win and i don't care that it's your mom we need to stop pretending like our moms are our babies like you're talking about my children no if your mom acted like an asshole apologize for your mom okay yeah that's it i have to do it all the time and you know that your mom acted like an asshole, apologize for your mom. Okay? Yeah. That's it. I have to do it all the time.

And you know that your mom got involved on some level, and it really bothered this person. She's obviously rattled. Like, NECA looks rattled, if you ask me. And she looks really bothered, sincerely bothered by it. And again, NECA was having a reaction and said, you know what? Your mom is a witch. And is it a nice thing to say? No.

But Wendy is acting like NECA started this, and she didn't. reaction and said you know what your mom is a witch and is it a nice thing to say no but i but wendy is acting like neca started this and she didn't and let's not forget that when that wendy also threw in accusations of neca smoking crack and like neca's even like saying putting this all to the side like you know like how could you like say these things yeah so she goes well you know the impact of calling someone's mom a witch and she she goes, but she submitted my name to a shrine. She submitted my name to a shrine. And I'm even willing to put that aside because she submitted my name to a shrine. And she goes, okay, well, can you not say I apologize for calling your mom a witch

and those allegations are not true? No, because she submitted her name to a shrine. She said it five times. What do you need to hear, Wendy? So she goes, I'm talking about you calling my mom a witch to my face, and you're talking about something that's hearsay, which is the difference, which is silly because your mom admitted to a veiled threat already. So it's not hearsay.

It's on camera. They just showed the clip. I know. This is going to be relineated a million times at the reunion. And you called her a crackhead to her face, as you just pointed out. Yes. So, of course, Wendy storms out of the restaurant. Wendy sucks.

Wendy flat out sucks. That's it. Wendy's done here. I don't know how Wendy has had this much time on this show, but she's humorless. She needs to go. Bye. I think this is the end for Wendy, too. I think there is going to be a revamp.

Not revamp. I think they're going to be a revamp not revamp i think they're going to get rid of some some people on the show i think wendy is going to be one of them because she's just really obstinate on this point and it's like not an interesting and interesting enough fight to drag it on this long and ultimately it really is wendy who is keeping this alive i know people are blaming neca for bringing keeping it alive, but it's Wendy who is not letting this move forward. People are mad because culturally it would be nice to see the two outsiders, right? It's like the two Nigerian women. You want to see that sisterhood of people standing up for each other and being on each other's side. And when it comes to like someone new coming on the show and immediately being like, well, your mom called in and threatened bringing all this stuff, all this cultural stuff into it and using it against someone else through their mom.

Like, I can see why people are ruffled by NECA. But what is NECA supposed to do? She gets these calls before she's even on the show, these threats from somebody. And that's a big deal, too, because she's kind of newer to the dc community you know she's new she's already got people trying to oust her from this community and this and that and that's not fair because she tried to come on the show and so what is she supposed to do just stay quiet to make uh wendy's mom happy that's bullshit that's a bunch of fucking bullshit and nobody complaining about that would do the same thing they would not all just bow to wendy and just let wendy's family family trample all over them for no reason that's

a bunch of crap yeah i feel like neca has actually been really set up by this season like admittedly she's not that funny in confessionals which is her own fault and her unpacking party was really lame but also like was it any more lame than really any of the events that happened this season everyone's put on a lame ass event at some point this season which is why the season has been struggling and i feel like she just came in and she got stuck in this fight with wendy which was exacerbated if not even spurred on by ashley by the way and i just feel like neca sort of has this look on her face like what did i do to deserve this i you know i came on this show and and i'm just like getting just like stuck with this wendy quagmire i mean i i don't know i kind

of feel bad for neca to be honest so well i mean but be funnier that's my note so then when wendy's like um i'm talking about you calling my witch you're calling my mom a witch to my face i'm saying your argument is all this nonsense that nobody can prove right and so uh neca's like okay well then leva can testify if i mean you guys she hasn't seen this clip but the mom just said that leva is like their sister and her child so she's like leva can testify then she can say what your mom said and wendy's like on that note you don't want peace. Goodbye.

Goodbye. And just gets up and walks off. That's how you know Wendy's lost. As if she won this. You didn't win this. Yeah, that's a sign of losing it, actually. When you've run out of things that you can say and retort with, so you just leave and act like you're taking the high road. When you're actually just taking the loser road.

The road. You're just taking the road. Just taking the road. And so my note here is I kind of love NECA after this. So I guess this scene kind of turned my mind as I watched. Because I was like, good for her for not backing down. Yeah. And it's like kind of sitting there the winner.

So I see a replacement coming. I just say get you some gays in the glam team to help you with your diary room sessions. And you'll be good to go. That's a great note. She needs some gays. She needs some gays to help her out. And I think also if she just was around gays, I think we'd all be like,

like, I think we would really like her. She just says she's not really around anyone. I mean, her sister and her husband and that's it. So she doesn't really have much of a life in Potomac yet. I guess. Another thing that we see in this episode is Giselle's daughter is finally

graduating. This is one of those, every now and then on The Real Housewives, there is a family storyline that just drags on. I'm happy for Giselle's daughter. Giselle has three wonderful, wonderful children. I love those girls so much. I'm very proud of them.

I don't know how they have managed to get this far with Giselle and what's-his-face. They just seem like such such great level-headed uh young women um but that being said i'm ready for her to graduate like i swear to god if she's in a cap and gown again when we get back from the dominican republic i've had it i can't like i thought when is she graduating when is is this over? Yeah, well, today. She did it today. This episode. She did it.

It is the day. So that happened. Let's see. The scene I really liked from this, besides that Nneka and Wendy scene, was this scene where Candace clearly made Chris shoot a scene because he's avoiding shooting this whole season. And the way that they can't even veil how much they hate each other at this point is crazy like these two hate each other right was that just in my head but he's he's on about how much she spends and she's fighting because she wants to get her lymph nodes out even though she was told they they were benign and he's like

why would you waste your money on lymph nodes and she she's like, I want to get them cut out. And he's like, why would you spend your, what I'm trying to say, dear? Like they had a very Shannon and David way of yelling at each other without yelling at each other that I was, it made me a little worried for them. It made me worried about the true, the rumors being true about

them well chris was like um remember last season when you when you complained that i was not around that i was working too much remember he goes remember when i had that job at the rooftop of the w it's like yes we all remember that job was brought up many times but he's like you know and you complained that i was never around enough. And so now I'm like, I left that job and now I'm around a lot shooting Instagram videos. And they show him like eating a Dorito or something. And he's like, so,

and now you're gone. So you made me leave my job or not pursue other jobs. I don't remember if he was fired or if he quit. He's like, uh, I'm now home and now you're gone. So what the hell? You like made me look like a shithead all last season and

now i'm here and you don't even care yeah which you know that could be a problem but he wants to have a baby he was talking about the um in vitro and he's like we've got some ice cubes so what's going on with that but she's afraid that the hormones from pregnancy is going to make uh this lymph node situation worse so that's their whole issue yeah so um let's see uh there was also another fun scene with uh getting some truth from ashley for once which is rare uh because mia went over to talk to her and mia's like uh so what about you guys not being divorced yet and ashley tries deflecting in her normal like well we're going to we're very serious about it she's like listen i get it i'm married to an old ugly guy too i mean it's just like i got it okay when i talked to him about it he said well we'll probably have an arrangement too because it's just easier

and uh ashley's like yeah well that's it it is easier because security does come with that and it kind of got ashley to open up and be like yeah it is an arrangement why would i divorce somebody i have a prenup with instead of continuing to take their money for as long as i fucking can what are you nuts yeah and she tells a story about how growing up like you know her mom struggled to make ends meet and she was there were often like there were kicked out kicked to the curb like two or three times she has memories of actually sitting on the curb with the furniture and her grandma would come by to pick her up etc so it was like an emotional scene for ashley my takeaway from the whole thing was i was surprised when they

were making small talk at the top of the scene that she said oh yeah michael and i used to live in the penthouse at the top of this building and i was like wow i i don't know for some reason that kind of was like i can't believe mia and and Gordon moved into Michael and Ashley's building. These are my takeaways. This is what I take from these shows. Yeah. If those walls could talk, I would tell them to please be quiet. Yeah.

They'd be very loud. They'd be very obnoxious walls. They'd be terrible, terrible walls. So then Robin has decided to take everyone to the dominican republic and they are going to be staying at and they're even bringing kiana kiana is like i feel like uh they've been sort of trying to make kiana happen all season like they sort of insert her in random places and i'm like is she a friend of is she not a friend of where do we stand with her what's going on with her so it seems like she's now an official friend of because she's on the cast trip and uh they're going to a resort called was it casa casita campo campo campo to casita campo to casa casa de campo and

karen in the bus is like well you know ray goes here every single year and the first time when ray went down i was on the magic sauce and i called him up and a woman answered and they drew like a dramatic reenactment it was like a phone answering and everything and she goes yeah she said she was the maid of what made answers the phone i've never heard of such a thing um i didn't really write down a whole lot of this this was their vacation stuff starting i did write that this chick really has not made a splash at all. And then this time, unfortunately, she gets sick. So she stays in her room a lot.

So it's not looking great for her. Yeah, this poor girl, she finally gets on the trip. She gets her first interview of the entire season. And her whole interview is to explain why she had the shits. They're like, okay, Kieran, welcome. Okay, I'm so glad you got all dressed up. Okay, here's your first question. What's going on with your diarrhea?

She was like, yeah, so I had champagne and it exacerbated my ulcer. And I just didn't want to make a mess on the plane. And so I just really needed to go to the bathroom. And they just show her running across the lobby and her stomach making those noises. And I was like, oh, man, this sucks for her. They're really doing her dirty, too. Yeah are you gonna do so uh that's pretty much that right i mean robin and karen are kind of fighting because karen has to share a room for the first time ever which you mentioned and that was that was so that was my favorite part was that karen

was like you know the rest of it was just sort of like shady shit. So basically Robin says, you know, like, well, there's like four single rooms and three doubles. So she makes Karen have a double room. And Karen, of course, is not happy about it. So she tries to get her own room and she's like, oh no, I'm just going to throw some Benjamins at it. I'm going to throw some Benjamins. I need to have a view. It's very important for me to have a view. I'm like, well, but Ashley's offering your room. So, well, I don't know. I need to have a view. It's very important for me to have a view. I'm like, well, but Ashley's offering your room. She's like, well, I don't know. I need to have a view

because I'm claustrophobic. If I don't have a view of the ocean, I'm gonna, the walls will close in on me and I'm gonna die. So she says she needs a view because she's claustrophobic. It's time for a commercial.

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what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for Black rights. She is a villain to others follow black history for real on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts listen everywhere on february 5th or you can listen early and ad free on wondery plus starting january 29th join wondery plus on the wondery app or on apple podcasts so then giselle of course giselle is likes to take any opportunity to poke at karen

so she decides since karen was shading neca about neck remember karen was saying uh oh so this house this is actually north potomac is it not this north potomac she's like no this is proper potomac so potomac but in the northern part of it this is basically arkansas right she's like no it's potomac, but in the northern part of it. This is basically Arkansas, right? She's like, no, it's Potomac. So to shade Karen back, Giselle gives Nneka a sash and a crown and says the real grand dame of Potomac. Says Karen is only a renter. And so Karen, of course, gets mad. She tries to laugh it off, but she gets mad. But then the one who gets angriest of all is candace who of course makes it about her she

storms off because she doesn't want to take part in anything that this what you call it like an impetuous imp or something like that she was like i don't want to take part all this woman just lives to take people down and i don't want to take part of it so candace storms off it's like to be continued well candace will she ever be able to get over the fact that giselle gave a gag sash and crown to necca i don't know we'll have to wait till next week um yeah i that was um something that sash ceremony um so that was real housewives of potomac everybody i think next week did they say next week is the season finale no they didn't know because they just started their their trip so but next week they did show a preview of them playing

a table game so everyone get excited for that everyone get excited i personally enjoyed the squabbling about the rooms i was surprised how much i enjoyed that and i actually was surprised how much i enjoyed the sash ceremony because it was so stupid but i was i was definitely chuckling so then i was really sad when i saw the preview for next week was back to table games i was like oh no but we made progress oh well okay so here we go we are now into below deck episode three of season 11 adventure adventure but not adventure fake adventure so um it's a big big episode here um so uh now fraser is well i guess previously just it doesn't matter it doesn't matter okay so you care it's a bunch of bunch of weirdo swingers were on the boat uh so we start with Fraser uh everybody I still have to write down everybody's

name although I feel like I remembered everybody's name on this one I don't know why but yeah I the names are not a problem for me it's the faces because to me Barbie Barbie Zandy and Sunny first of all their names all sort of sound the same and they all look the same and so I really have to like take a moment to be like okay which one's talking now who is who is this i still need like a few more episodes before i can tell them apart yeah well barbie cat and fraser are still having their service meeting where fraser is forcing the girls to confront each other so we can just all get along like the family that we are so they're having that and cat didn't let it go and continued on to start with

barbie so barbie's like um you said that you needed to move because we're supposed to be working and i was working she goes i did not say that she goes i don't lie i don't lie i'll tell you that much and he's like guys guys let's take a breath this is not going where i wanted it to go i'm okay you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna work on my delivery with you you stupid fucking bitch. She's like, okay, come on. Can we just hug it out and pretend we never had to fight in the first place? Okay, now go finish the last bits and bobs. Thanks, girl. See, we never fought. Everything is good. And Barbie's like, I'm so sick of that girl. She's going to talk shit about me and not own it.

I'm sick of being nice. And by way i've been nice that was me being nice that's like you have not been nice kat is definitely very very sensitive but you have not been nice i don't think she's the worst though barbie i mean barbie's barbie just wants jobs done i like that kind of meanness when people are like do a better job you know i don't like the kind of meanness when people are just like bullying to be bullies, but I feel like she's been somewhat nice, you know, but really, I don't think she's been somewhat nice. I think she's been very dismissive. Like when Kat was doing a task and she's like, um, uh, can you do this for me? Okay, fine, fine, fine.

So like, I can see also either way, whether she's been nice or not. Fraser says she has not been nice. I just, I didn't mean to say that she's been nice. Whether she's been mean or only lightly mean, Fraser's like, change your delivery. Like, change your attitude. Because obviously, Kat is the sort of person that responds with different kind of feedback.

So Kat's like... Also, I love that Fraser's so bitchy about it. As we go on through the show, he's like, be nicer. And he does the whole like girls darlings sweethearts babies you know it's like pk is leading leading a team of women you know i know i actually was i really am enjoying uh season three fraser i feel like he's now finally ascended to like the chief stew like the exasperated chief stew that he always could have

been right like last season i think he was trying to be like friends he even says that he tried to be friends he tried to do much this season he's just like over it and he's just like he's in scolding mode right away which i think is really good for him yeah so he's definitely good at the scolding part you know now that he's more confident in his scolding he's you know last year he's definitely good at the scolding part you know now that he's more confident in his scolding he's you know last year he's a little afraid to scold but this year he's not at all he's like you two darlings will get a spanky on your butting tinks if you don't sit down right now so they both call each other a bitch behind each other's backs and then we cut to xandy and cat talking and as poor xandy is just, this whole episode, she's just following Kat around, training her.

And Kat's a little slow to get things. And then the other running plot line that I love keeps coming back is that Zandy can't stop gulping. Did you notice it this week? I did not notice the gulping. They just keep cutting to Zandy gulping stuff. I don't really know. I think we've got a dehydration story coming soon.

You did mention this last week, right? Yeah. That was the snacking. No, it was the drinking. With Zandy, Kat is the one who hides and eats. But Zandy is the one who drinks. She's always drinking a lot. And they stop the music.

It's not just me being like, oh, that always drinking a lot and they stop the music like it's it's not just me being like oh that girl drinks a lot of water they keep stopping the music to put in gulping sounds while she drinks it's weird yeah well yeah you could be right they could be setting up that she's gonna like faint at one point like i'm just a little a little dehydrated so um i guess they're now it's time to get ready to go out to get in the in the buses and the vans all that fun stuff drinking fun times yada yada yada okay so they start talking about tattoos and barbie's got four and um anthony doesn't have any he's like when my dad passed away i thought i will do tattoo of dada he died of heart attack and it's going to be tough

so i want to do a tattoo of my father and frazier's like i'm so so sorry to hear that so so sorry and then we go to the restaurant and um they do a cheers to the first charter and sunny's like oh in french we say which means smell my ass and anthony's like which means smell my ass. And Anthony's like, that means smell my ass. She's like, I know. So good.

So they order. And then Ben, of course, was turning to Sonny. He's like, you look great. And she's like, oh,

compliment returned. Like, oh God, Ben, I really can't stand him. So then Barbie, it turns the Fraser and goes, um,

so yeah. So here's my path. I lived in Uruguay and Mexico and China and I grew up with three nannies. One would cook, one would clean, and one would do my hair. And they surprisingly don't really have much of a reaction to that. I would have thought Fraser in a,

in like a confession would say, she's absolutely disgusting. For someone to have three nannies and to look that foul, that is a triumph in reverse yeah i think probably because she said it 10 times because she has the exact same line that she told us um the audience when she's like i'm a girl with three maids one cut one clean what did my hair i think that's just her thing like she thinks that that makes her look really cool when in fact it makes her look like her dad hates her honestly it's like what did you do in this great life to end up uh being a maid with the rest of us you know but so barbie's like um guys you know that fraser has a unicorn

tramp stamp because yes a unicorn jumping of a rainbow and jared of course goes oh yeah man that's my daughter's favorite thing she lives in alaska it's like is it the unicorn is it the rainbow or is the tramp stamp what is your daughter's favorite thing i know why her favorite thing is a unicorn that can fly because she's stuck in fucking alaska and she just wants to get the hell out of there okay you fucking monster so fraser's like well where do you live then he goes fort lauderdale listen i've never met her i mean long story short i was in a relationship and we were fighting more and we were laughing you know how that goes and uh she ended up getting pregnant so uh was it when you were fighting was it when you were laughing i need more no

exactly he's like i was like yeah i didn't know this and i wasn't committed to her so she got pregnant and fucked off to alaska and that's that's where she's from his story uh i wonder i would like to hear her story of it also because she's like yeah you know she ended up getting pregnant and i wasn't committed to her and so then she fucked off to alaska i'm like the whole the fact that he sort of like asserted that part, I wasn't committed to her. I was like, was there, there was more of this wasn't there. Was there like a little bit of a, I want to take this relationship to the next level,

by the way, I'm pregnant. And he was like, well, we're not in a relationship. So I don't know. I don't know. For some reason, I feel like there's more to this story than his, this quick little timeline that he gave us. Yeah. And Fraser said, and there was no communication.

He's like, no, for a year, I got in touch. And, you know, now for like, for two years, or wait, now for a year, two days a week. Finally, she said, I love you, my daughter, because like, I get to face. Okay, wait, he said something about how he gets to FaceTime his daughter two times a week. But for the first year, he didn't get to talk to her at all he didn't get to talk to her i think he didn't know about the baby and then uh he finally got in touch and then they talked two days a week and then only recently she the baby the girl the daughter whatever i don't know how old she is she's 18 she finally said i love you i know she's like a lawyer in cleveland now it's over met her bro i don't know it's so hard yeah he's like yeah uh she finally said i know i love you you know because the last thing i want to be is like a deadbeat dad you know captain curry just bursted let me tell that story again and how i dropped everything to my children what did you do for your children uh yeah stayed in fort lauderdale yeah and um barbie's like oh that's so sad.

And Fraser goes, that was an amazing story. I guess I'll save the unicorn, flying unicorn out of a rainbow for another day. I guess we don't have to hear the tragic, tragic backstory behind my optimistic tattoo. Secret frozen baby wins that round, I guess. Secret Janine Turner baby type. Popsicle baby wins another round. Congratulations to your Palin baby. Maybe next time I can start telling the story about my tattoo

and you can interrupt with tales of a moose your child once saw. Maybe your daughter will one day grow up to be able to uh poll for voting and march 19 miles in the snow from one house to another in alaska thank you i can't wait to hear how your daughter can see russia out her back window so um i have no alaska jokes you love that i had to i had to go wow the neighbors must be really far from each other that's i went to the same alaska reference personally i already went to northern exposure i was like i don't know how many other northern exposure references i can make i was like janine turner's like my limit so yeah i ran that pretty quickly there and then uh so now

meanwhile captain carrie is talking to his girlfriend uh they're facetiming and he's like it's important for me to make quality time this is good this is good honey you know what this is when i you know uh when i'm with you things just taste better even though i'm not really with you i'm just facetiming you but when i facetime you food tastes better so there we go you know if someone called me facetiming and eating right in my face i would hang up on them that's like the thing i hate the most is people eating my face it's so rude i would i would divorce him in two seconds so he's like oh my wife is from turkey and i adore also adore turkey both of them make me just want to cuddle in bed after her name is ganol and uh it's a

picture they do they show a picture of the two of them and he's cocking his head back in front of a rainbow so it looks like the rainbow's coming out of his mouth so he can't carry i'm gonna ask for a hand in marriage from my mother. And the way I'm going to do it is I'm learning Turkish. All right. I'm not single. Sorry, ladies. So far, the only thing I've learned how to say is I can sue and Jennifer Aiden. But, you know, a start's a start.

So now the crew goes out and dances after dinner. And Ben and Sonny are really trying to make this chemistry happen. And it's not really and so um she's like yeah i'm in paradise with a hot guy and he's got his hands on my hips i'm not expecting anything but i'm definitely thinking of something sorry mom he's gonna hold you which means smell my ass mama is he a hot guy or is he just a guy because i feel like ben his hotness i feel like for these women just comes out of like just process of elimination like there's no one left there's like they got three options it's got to be ben right yeah they've got three options one of them is jared and the other one's running around naked talking about how he got a scar on his ass from burning a coat hanger into it i mean

the other one's gay yeah so so it's just like ben's the last one standing yeah so now we have um uh jared's talking to barbie and he's like come on hug me for real and she hugs him and then um then we go over to the beach and uh kyle is there and uh he's like he's like oh barbie she's the kind of girl i'll take home to mom and fridge goes oh you really really like her don't you what is it about her is it her terrible personality is that like a scottish thing that they like that is it her magic marker eyebrows what is it is it her compelling stories about nannies she was raised with is it a maid having a maid is that what it is do you enjoy a girl who brings her own fitted sheets around and then hands them out to the pool when they don't fit on the mattress she bought them for is it turn you on when someone can't size a fitted sheet he's actually like yes actually to

all those things he's like boner boner town so cat is alone just kind of going through her purse and the music stops and then it cuts to everyone dancing and then just to be dicks they cut back to her again and stop the music again i again it was probably just like a totally normal moment like she just was like hold on guys i need to get something on my purse and sits down and gets it but they edit it to look like she's just in her own world and no one's hanging out with her and no one likes her and she's just she's a stupid person doesn't even know how to find the things that are in her own goddamn bag yeah and they come over to her and they're like we're leaving it's like oh okay i was just looking for something in my bed did the music just stop?

The entire music in the entire club stopped. That's crazy. They're like, well, Zandy had to gulp something. It'll come back in a second. So they get back into the vans and Barbie and Jared are talking. And she's like, I found that conversation with you very, very interesting. And he's like, yeah, I don't know you from a canapé. But when i look into

your your eyes like i find truth that's what i found in there she's like uh okay jared he's like why are you laughing why are you laughing at me that was a cheesy ass line so um then we have we have some music that's playing. It's going money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. Is that what the music was going? Money, money, money? Because now I'm below deck. They've put lyrics to their songs, which is really bothering me. But now the music, yeah, it's like money, money.

We got money. I got money. You got money. Money, money, money. And then silence and then sandy's just drinking more and more and then someone rapping about money while frazier complains that he spent 300 fucking dollars i love that they play a song about money while we're watching like the poor people who are like the the downstairs to the upstairs guests

like yeah we're watching them about to go to bed in their sardine cans that they have to sleep on top of each other and i know before they have to spend the next 48 hours waiting on strangers hand and foot so most fraser goes to bed but most of them party in the hot tub and sandy's dancing on the edge of the hot tub and falls in. Yes. I love Zandy. I'm really enjoying her quite a bit. She is like, she's like a good stew, but she's also a mess a little bit, which is really good.

And Kyle tells us, he's like, oh, Zandy is pissed as a fart. You know, like if you fart, it goes everywhere, right? So she's pissed, she's drunk and everywhere like a fart is, you know? Like, okay, well, maybe I have to work on that one. So Sonny texts Ben in bed.

She's like, can you give me a kiss? He's like, oh, yeah, I can. Meet in the cabins. So he goes pee and he's like, oh, yeah. I know. And then he goes into her cabin and they like make out. She's like, I'm shy. Are you? He's like, yeah. And then he goes into her cabin and they like make out. She's like, I'm shy. Are you?

He's like, yeah. And then they start making out. Yeah, the kissy. And then the next day, Jared's like, okay, today I need to calm down. I need to breathe. And I need to make sure that my daughter still hasn't found out the pin to my bank account yet. Okay. You don't get the keys to the kingdom with one i love you

i hate that much and then ben and kyle are talking and kyle's like i think i'm in love with barbie i'm like what where did this come from did you have you guys talked yet well i made out with sonny last night he's like that's what you want then good for good on you boy he's like well i don't know what it's gonna be like working with her though so then candy is in bed just or cat cat is in bed just watching uh xander cat and xander this is gonna be a problem the seat now riley cat is in bed watching xander go to the bathroom she goes that was very important to get in there i guess yeah well it sets the scene and cat tells us you know on boats i worked on in the past, I get really close with my crew,

but it's like hard to connect with these people. And I just, I feel super alone and it sucks. I was like, okay, so you got two episodes left. Cat. Yeah.

Cat does not have much time left. We get her back, her, her tragic backstory in like 10 minutes. So they're cramming it all in. Cause she's going to be gone or after this charter. Yeah. Cat's like,

wow, that girl went p and she didn't even say hi to me first nobody likes me here commercials here comes one right now okay so now it is um this is my favorite salt lake city music it's like and then we see this extreme close-up of captain carrie making an espresso you know last week we talked about how it seemed like he always had like a little espresso cup and now they're like oh we're gonna lean into it and it's like it's not even like an espresso machine with the tamp he's it is just a keurig it's literally putting a cup under a keurig and pressing a button and they make this seem like a lexus commercial you know what is happening here yeah like the choir music's going crazy

and then it stops and we just get a espresso just kind of plops into the cup and that was a majestic scene so uh jared comes in and uh the captain compliments him He's like, whoa, I did a walk around the boat and it seemed like no one was even there. And Jared's like, yeah, it's because I was up at six making sure it looked like that for you. He goes, good job, mate. You know why you did that? Because it's your deck. You know what you're on when you've got a deck?

An adventure! Good on you, Jared. You know, he's dropped the ball, but I feel like he's stepping up and I'm happy where we are right now And soon, he may even get a tiny little coffee cup Just from me So now it's the interior meeting in the Sky Lounge And Barbie's lost her voice from last night

And he's like, alright So for this charter, girls, lovely things I'm going to mix things up I'm going to have Kat on housekeeping Zandy on service And Barbie, I'm going to have you helping out in between that's my passive-aggressive way of saying I hate you and all three of your nannies and if you'd like to know about the story about my unicorn jumping over a rainbow feel

free to ask no hmm all right noted noted okay so then Bennett's sunny you're All right. Noted. Noted. Okay. So then Ben and Sunny are chatting and he's like, oh, so last night you wanted a pic. Remember that? When you asked me for a pic? She goes, yeah, I missed a little affection, eh? And Ben's like, affection or attention? I was like, excuse you. You're trying to make out with this woman. Don't call her basically a thirst trap. you're trying to make out with this woman don't don't don't call her basically a thirst trap oh yeah and she calls him out but they're like just playing around you know it's like they're it's like their vibe yeah and ben's like oh bean bean bean you said you weren't gonna jump into something and here y'all jumping into something raw you bad boy i really i'm so sick of this fuck boy line. How many times do we have to see Carl say this? How many times do we have to hear Gary say this?

Everyone always does this like, oh no, I said I wasn't going to you, but here I am again. I'm like, you're the one who's starting this. You're the one who's instigating. He's just so gross. So smarmy so the preference sheet meeting um cat cat's in there and fraser cat passes her he's like how are you cat and she's like

i'm okay he's like all right then it's good he just passes by her cat's that. He's like, all right then. Good. He just passes by her. Kat's that person who's like, I guess I'm fine. So you have to be like, tell me about it, Kat. Let's talk about feelings right now, Kat. Oh God,

I have to do a preference sheet meeting with a sad American in the next room. How terrible for me. So they all sit down and we find out the guests that are coming on board.

We have Tara who was a successful event planner. And Stephen is a successful contractor. And they both love normal-sized coffee cups. Does everyone know that? So it's a couple's trip. One couple is going to have a vow ceremony, like a vow renewal. And then I think two other couples want some kind of ceremonies,

like a commitment ceremony, some kind of shit. You're just all going to have to be a pain in the ass on one trip basically like this is all about our couplehood because i think i think that two of them are getting bad renewals and one of them is getting married so what that really means is that one of them's getting married and two of them are getting divorced in about three months yeah pretty much the bravo curse yep so then um the captain is gonna officiate and uh you know typical below deck stuff we're gonna have a surfing turf night a whole old hollywood dinner they want a wedding cake oh the wedding cake really freaks people out so now fraser calls cat to the sun deck because she needs more you know

he's like it's quite evident that Kat is a sensitive, sensitive girl. And I feel like she needs to be heard more. And I've never had someone look after me in this scary industry. So I want to be that for her. So, Kat, how do you pronounce your last name? And she's like, Ba. He goes, Blah. Ba.

Like blah. Like blah, but it's bah. He made it up. All right. Well, I feel like there's going to be a very sad story happening right now. So why don't you just get it out? So Kat tells a story about how her dad died and then her mom died and she wound up in foster care and she was in the system uh the family that she lived with was actually sort of in a cult like a religious cult and um they cut off um she was separated from her brother which is

so cruel by the way and uh that the family cut off contact with the brother because the brother was not in the cult and so she couldn't talk and then um she also grew up in Yorba Linda which is I don't know for some reason it's just like strange to think like she grew. She was stuck in a cult in Yorba Linda. And basically she was it was terrible. And when she turned 18, she reconnected with her brother. And now they're really, really close. But this whole thing made her feel like really insecure.

And she like ruined her her self-confidence because she always had to be super perfect and she never seemed to be super perfect all that stuff you know what else yorba linda is it was in that tv show the blue zone on netflix that documentary about the healthiest people in the world and that was one of the blue zones and it one of the reasons they say they're so healthy is because they're so religious and they believe in community and charity and being healthy because of the community and i don't know i assumed it was christianity they showed a bunch of churches but fucking your belinda man wow yeah so cat was sure was she in a cult and raised terribly yes Does she probably not have any life-threatening diseases right now because of it? Yeah.

So where's your thank you card to your Belinda? Okay. Where is it? Wow. Wow. So yeah, that was a very sad story for Kat. But when she told that story, I was like, okay, so she really only has an episode left. Because that's what they do.

They'll make sure they get that sob story in before they're gone. And Fraser's just trying to show that sensitivity is so cute because he just doesn't seem like he really has it. But he's trying to like, you know, be a real boy. And so he's like, oh, that was such a good story. Thank you so much for sharing that. So they teach you to fold in your Belinda. You're actually decent at that. So now they finish up their work. It it's bedtime and now it's the morning

and uh and captain's walking around the galley and he's like oh look at this this looks looks feels cleaner in here good job anthony you're really ramping it up what are they saying turkish i i actually don't know i haven't gotten that lesson yet. I was hoping you might, I was hoping that maybe you knew the Turkish words, but you don't. So I'm just going to walk on out of the kitchen now. Then outside, while provisions are coming,

Jared is doing dips on the railing. He's like, got to get in where you can. Actually, I heard that last time I dropped change around my pocket outside my daughter's room. So it's pretty funny. Alright, anyway, let's get these provisions in, guys. And it's 15 minutes till the guests arrive and Kat's checking the bathroom and

she thinks it's perfect. And then we see Barbie vacuuming the couch. And then Zandy's like, Frasier, do you want me to redo the cabins? And he's like, what's wrong with the cabins? And he's like, oh, no, this is not acceptable. We cannot do this.

Not acceptable. We need to meet in the master now. Interior, interior. Emergency towel meeting. Emergency towel meeting. Dun, dun, dun. Just when I complimented your Belinda on their towel prowess. Girls, I know it's fast, but when we do something,

we do it completely, and we do it well. I have high standards, and they're not met, and this is not how we roll a towel, and certainly not a towel in the master. This is unacceptable, and you all know it.

I'm changing everything around. Kat, you need to pick up with Zandy. Zandy, you're back on housekeeping. Bobby, still a bitch. Now we need to up our standards okay and it was like a they cut it like i feel like this was actually a commercial cut they're like look at this towel you don't have towels like this and he like holds like he puts up like a little hand towel that's folded in some way that's improper and it like cuts the commercial like oh

my god not the towel so then um sunny and ben are still doing their really awkward flirting outside and um she's like oh you do you use banana sunscreen i guess that's what i can taste it's like wow this is like the chemistry so hot yeah i'm melting me i'm melted so cat and fraser so um he's understanding that she's overwhelmed. And then he talks about his own traumatic story. He says that the first day he was the crew to the stew, which meant he was just the bottom boy bitch, basically. And on his first day, the chief engineer found out he was gay and he was super homophobic. first day the chief engineer found out he was gay and he was super homophobic and as fraser was watching dishes in the kitchen he came in and poured the boiling hot tea all over his hand

and fraser just stuck it up and was like one day i will have a higher rank than her than him and i have him fired and one day i did that is wild that is crazy i can't that is i can't believe you're firing him murder him i needed that to end with and now he's dead and no one can figure out why whoops wow yeah seriously let's let's do that let's let's salt burn that situation there although i guess the salt burner like trying to aspire to something bigger and better. So, um, all right, guess arrive in one hour. And so everyone's checking the fridge,

just checking work. It's like, okay, Bobby question, not question statement, be extra sensitive with cat this trip. She goes, sorry. Okay,

fine. Sorry. I'm terrible. Just take a note, Barbie. Yeah. But also like she already said, Barbie. Yeah, but also, like, she already said sorry and they moved past it.

So I get why she's kind of annoyed with him harping on it still because Fraser just does not like her. Like, he's just giving her shit, I think. I don't think it's unreasonable for Fraser to say, just be nicer to Kat because Kat is a more sensitive person. Like, you have to find ways to work with people that you're working with and he's saying be try just be more sensitive to her and she's like oh sorry i'm terrible which is not what he

was saying at all but she then takes it up place where he's like what the fuck like i didn't say that now you're making it sound like i'm coming at you i'm just saying be more sensitive to her well she definitely shouldn't be yapping back that's for sure because he's like um i'm just saying be more sensitive to her well she definitely shouldn't be yapping back that's for sure because he's like um i'm talking about the last trip right now i don't need to hear that slap back babe and she goes yes sir yes sir he's like thank you so she walks off pulling a fraser where she's just muttering to herself about him and she's like oh my god like what the fuck like here's the thing with me i don't have a filter you know what else does it dirty water and i'm not going to drink it so don't ask me to swallow you if you're not going to be

filtered it's not my responsibility to like be okay with you not having a filter fuck off with that yeah i also say that i love barbie being so mad and offended that she has to change her tone for cat because cat's really sensitive when barbie is the one being the most sensitive in this situation right now and she is the one who later on asked for frazier to change his tone with her i love that's true yeah i love that one time and she's like she's like fine i guess i'm terrible i guess i'm terrible it's like babe it's a note it's a it's a note babe so then we cut to the captain practicing turkish and. And then Kyle is naked looking. What's the word for adventure?

Kyle's naked looking for his boxers. And, you know, there's like Captain Carrier's like, there's a tag that's hanging out of this cupboard. Everyone, come on. We got to spruce up these people coming up on this boat before they get divorced basically it's just work work work work work that's a lot of work stuff yeah work work work and then um the the guests come okay and well let's welcome tara and steven okay and so he's giving them a tour and fraser's like this is the deckhead and the guy like, and then you've got us, these dickheads.

Oh, sorry. I'm that guy. I'm that guy. These guests seem fun, a bit tacky, but fun. You know, typical American. And it cuts to one going, oh, my God, is that nacho cheese? Yeah. And then Barbie's like, I hear we love cheese.

And the lady goes, yeah, we're very, very. No, not cheese. She goes, I hear we love cheese and the lady goes yeah we're very very and i'm not cheese she goes i hear we love cheese it's just yeah we're very very fancy they're like obsessed with cheese it's oh i thought she said cheeses like different cheeses no um okay so then yeah because she does say that later right where she's like you guys my personality is loving cheese it's bringingts. Bringing Cheez-Its back. Yeah. Okay. And it almost worked because I was in the grocery store and I was like,

Cheez-Its. And I was like, you don't eat Cheez-Its. Leave them on the shelf, sir. We are a better Cheddar's household, personally. I'm a Cheddar cheese. Just eat the cheese. Just eat the cheese. So then the captain is having a little meeting with the deckies

and he's like get your shit together check your shirt mate i need distances cold and dun dun dun and he says i see a quality team here overall listen rome wasn't built in a day yeah but i don't think we need like the the i don't think we need like the like the scaffolds running the the rome yacht you know i'm saying let's get i think i think i might have not been built in a day but it was like burnt down in a week you know what i mean you should worry more about how it got burnt down with this crew so um now everyone the guests are like talking about how they're gonna renew their vows and everything and talk about they're gonna party and like committing and all that stuff so this one

lady is like hey can i get a margarita and barbie's like oh my god i'm gonna make you one of my magical margaritas the thing that makes it magical it's invisible you're not gonna you're not gonna see it for quite some time i've had two weeks of schooling so this is gonna blow your fucking mind you just wait okay so she goes to make it and uh fraser's like so let's have a talk about margarita consistency and she's like um okay well i do like a one count then a four count then a six count then a salt rim then a six count then a four count then a three he's like no that sounds lovely but let's try lime quantra tequila done yeah but you need a splash of orange that's just how it's made i'm like lady what part done. Yeah, but you need a splash of orange. That's just how it's made.

I'm like, lady, what part of Cointreau does not sound like a splash of orange? That's the orange. That's literally the orange. And he goes, I wouldn't say that's classic. And also, that's a grapefruit, darling. She's being defensive and squeezing a fucking grapefruit. Can't. So one of the guests is worried about getting sick.

And then one of the ladies just isn't getting the margarita because of all this margarita drama. And she's like, well, I'm still waiting for this Barbie magical margarita thing. I don't know if that's going to happen. So Barbie's like, yeah, he's telling me there's no orange juice in a margarita. So I'm like, honey, let me show you something and so she does she whips out a big recipe binder that she stole from the fucking online class that she took for two weeks so now she's more obsessed and proving that she's right about the splash of orange juice which i'm sure is lovely but you already are using quantro

so go for it so she's doing this taking more time and so Fraser walks by and she goes so look at this it's like literally this this is like a recipe look at this recipe for a margarita he's like what is that darling is that a diary I mean make your fucking drink okay put your orange juice away come on what are you trying to do why are you trying to squeeze juice out of a can of shaving cream that's shaving cream darling it's not even an orange. Yeah. And the guests are still like, where's my drink? Where's my drink? Where's my drink?

So Zandy is doing the lunch table and the lady's been like, I've been without a drink for like 30 minutes now. And Fraser's like, okay, Kat, do you know how to do margarita? I want it in less than 30 seconds, please.

So she's like, okay, yeah, I agree. Like, that's how long it should take. And Barbie's like, he is such a dick. I'm like five minutes from losing control. Five minutes. Cinco minuto. That's a lot faster than it took to make the margarita, by the way. I was like rageful watching the scene.

How does it take you over 20 minutes to make a margarita for a guest? And then she has the audacity to act like she's bothered by the situation. Yeah. So then the anchor comes down and anthony fries some chicken and he's telling us this story he's like oh when i was a kid my mother was making golden blue i was bad at school so i went to culinary school i don't dream about ferrari i only dream about taking care of my mother this is all I need. Okay, there's something wrong with this person. I know. This is kind of the thing we were talking about earlier with yoga teachers on The Traitors.

When people are too forward-facing with what a good person they are, something's going on. And so far, whenever someone's like, I don't need a Ferrari. I just need to know my mommy's okay. Okay, you're a murderer. There. I just need to know my mommy's okay. Okay, you're a murderer. There, I said it. I'm calling it now. He's done something very, very bad in his past. Also, another cliche story. We already had the bosun who has a child in some far-flung state,

which is very classic. And now we have, once again, the chef who says, I wasn't good at school, but cooking, cooking saved me. I found my passion with cooking. I was living in the gutter, dropped out of school, but cooking, cooking saved me. I found my passion with cooking. I was living in the gutter, dropped out of school doing drugs, and then I found cooking. Even my heroin did cocaine. And then I found the culinary school of Pasadena.

I know. It's always that story. You know what? I wasn't good at school. We know you're a chef. Yes. I've literally never heard of a chef coming in who's like, you know what i wasn't good at school we know you're a chef yes okay i've literally never heard of a chef coming in he's like you know what i was a straight a student and now i'm a chef so after

i left vassar i decided you know what i want to be a chef we don't hear that story it's always like ever since i left that prison close to vassar i know i've been cooking Ever since I got hooked on crack at Vassar. I wasn't a student there. I just would always go on the campus and do crack. Then I said, you know what? I want to be a chef. So then Zandy is setting the table, asking Kat for help. And Kat doesn't even know how to do silverware.

She's like, okay, but I'm going to have to ask you what side the fork goes on and what side the spoon goes on. Like, oh, no. It's like, but i'm gonna have to ask you what side the fork goes on and what side the spoon goes on like oh no like why don't it's like okay you know what on your flight down to granada like maybe just do like just go on youtube and be like how do i set a table just do some like basic research can you just do that before you go onto tv and humiliate yourself yeah okay so she's dropping stuff and xandy is running low Okay, so she's dropping stuff, and Xande is running low on patience, basically. She's like, I haven't found the right crystal for patience, but Xanax works.

So now Anthony, he makes this food, he makes this chicken, and it's like, the chicken's for the crew, and so it's down there in the crew mess. And so we're just starting to see, as everything's happening, we're starting to see the deckhands, of course, go in and gobble everything up.

And of course, Ben is going in for like seconds and thirds. Yeah, need the fuel. That's what they say a lot. So Fraser is talking to Barbie and he's like, doll, we just need some ice chilling, some wine chilling or whatever. And she just ignores him. And the stress violins start to play. And he's like, darling, please don't ignore me. we just need some ice chilling some wine chilling or whatever and she just ignores him and the stress violence start to play and he's like darling please don't ignore me could you acknowledge that

i spoke and she's like yes sir she acts like she's traumatized it was such a like yes sir like she wants to like highlight how much like he's the boss and she is a peon and she's enforcing this role she's not even having a voice anymore it's darling yes sir do you know that you're giving attitude right now i mean you're literally just like stabbing at me it's like oh i'm not trying to do it like that that's why i'm saying darling a lot and girl things like that you know non-condescending things i love that he said, we need some wine chilling. You're just stabbing at me now. You're just stabbing.

Trying to bleed me out. So she's like, well, I feel like I'm being underappreciated. And so I'm like, and he goes, okay, okay. And he's like, well, listen, Barbie's good at service.

But if you cannot compose yourself, then you have no place here. And if she doesn't learn quickly, I'll be filtering her out of my crew. Filter callback. So Barbie is like... I'm calling back something that's not even something I said in the first place, which is actually pretty amazing.

I've taken ownership of it now. And Barbie goes, I don't know what else to say. He goes noted noted which is um british gay for get the fuck out of my face yes so she walks off muttering i'm so sick of him he's such a dick so then uh fraser comes to pick up some food and um the guests are like there's one of the guests is having an issue with the sliding doors like his arm almost gets chopped off by it and then uh now we see it's some the food is arriving a very small greek salad that we it's like in a little cup and they're like oh that's nice and while the while the guests are eating the crew is continuing to just like stuff their face with all the food even though you can

clearly see how much food is there for the entire boat. They are just going in and going hard. Yeah. So Ben's like, I need more food. I'm starving. But one of the guests is like, wow, we absolutely love this. Tell the chef we hated it, though, so we can fuck with his emotions. So then Jared is telling Ben to go on a boat. And so Ben's like, well, Jared seems to have picked up his game a little bit,

but I don't know. We'll see how long that lasts, especially after I undermine him on the radio in about two minutes. So then the captain comes to the mess and she's like, well, there was lunch. He goes, daddy's there. It's like, there was lunch,

but there's no more chicken. Do you want this piece? And he's like, no, you can eat it. You need the fuel. You know what would have made this salad better? goes what because chicken but don't feel bad that you took the last piece of chicken when i the captain was actually driving this boat and sitting here chickenless what was they saying turkey chickenless adventure every word he learns in turkish is just adventure adventure so now the guests are doing like speed sailing or para skiing or jet boat ski boating cycling whatever so barbie now comes down

to the mess for food and she wants more chicken and she wants some chicken she hasn't had any and sandy's like no i ate the last piece in front of the captain, though. And has Fraser eaten? He's like, no, but I'll eat when I take a break. But there's no food to eat. What is this fucking chef doing? He couldn't even get through two people. He couldn't even feed two people.

I was livid. I have to say, so I was watching this episode, and we had just finished doing the crappies. So I was watching this i was watching this episode and like we had just finished doing the crappies so i was just sort of like in this state of like like i was just sort of like just a little bit more like a little just sort of like i was like releasing i was like watching i was trying to take it all in and then when this happened i was so wide awake and so alert i was because i was so mad i was like i can't believe those fucking deckhands once again the deckhands they come they act like they have it the hardest when the stews are the ones running

around this boat and then they eat all that food because i think we've both been in that situation where someone eats the the food that's meant for everyone but you're the one who's on a task and no one leaves you any food i was literally out of my mind um yeah, this guy's not going to last. If you can't feed your crew, you're not going to last. So Fraser is talking to himself in the mirror, and he's like, I'm not mean to her. I'm not condescending. I'm just putting the correct amount of pressure on my girls. That's what I'm doing.

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the least of a girl? Them all. Me. So now it's time to start decorating for dinner. And Fraser's helping Barbie decorate. And Fraser goes, Bobby, I don't mean to put you down.

She goes, yeah, but I just feel like you don't appreciate me. Like today, I'm like working my ass off. And you're like, let's worry about people's feelings. And I'm like, that's literally what you're asking for right now, Barbie. Yeah. You literally said, I feel like you don't appreciate me, but now you're complaining that she's been asked to consider people's feelings when you're complaining about not being appreciated. It's like, well, that's your paranoia. All right.

That's not how I think about you. And I will not accept how you respond to me and how you ignore me. And she's like, whatever. It's like, you're not treating me phenomenal. Oh, no. She says, you're not treating me phenomenal oh no she says you're not treating me phenomenal like you treat me like i'm this bitch and he goes well you were a bitch to me now here's the thing this was kind of bugging me with fraser's stuff i don't think you can talk to

people like that like i get that he's gay and so he's being like well i'm gay so i'm just saying like and by the way i'm not gonna stop saying girl and darling and stuff like that but i think if you're friends with people that's one thing but i think when you're the boss you can't be like girls my little darlings and like you're a bitch to me i don't think you can do that i think like you still have to when yeah when he said that i thought to myself it probably is not professional to say, well, you're a bitch to me. He probably could have used some better language. But I did think it was funny because it kind of turned the tables on her.

She's like, you're a bitch. It was funny, yeah. Well, it was funny. But the way that she straightened up and was like, yeah. The way that she just dropped all of her drama and did that, I was like, uh-oh. I hope that she doesn't see this as a a point that she can grab onto, you know, to victimize herself. Because she's already like, oh my God, I can't believe you're treating me like this. Yeah.

And so he goes, he's like, no, you have an attitude with me and you're being rude towards me and I don't like working with that. She goes, okay, fair enough. I'll work on my attitude, but I'm not like happy. Okay, well, I don't know if we care he's the boss yeah so he's like okay well i'm sorry that's the case and i hope that changes she goes me too he's like and i don't like the way that looks to be honest what you're what you're doing right she's doing like a little football decoration she goes yeah it looks awful this does look fucking terrible i admit it so now it's nighttime and um kyle's looking for his radio and anthony's cooking and it's gonna be like anthony's saying tonight's dinner's gonna be like steakhouse and all that stuff and um uh people are people

are like milling around someone's lifting weights or no no one's lifting weights someone lift up lifts up fraser like he's lifting weights he's just like fraser's like oh this is this is quite fun a big burly tacky american treating me like a piece of dry spaghetti i don't know if i'm aroused or disgusted or both so the captain is still kind of lurking around the uh crew, going, Has anybody eaten? It's terrible. Not enough food. We need the fuel. You eating?

We need the fuel. Or as they say in adventure, turkey adventure, adventure turkey. Sorry I messed that one up. You got it. I'm sure. I've repeated it 20 times today. If anyone needs some fuel, I've got some in an espresso cup. Just kidding.

It's for me. Adventure. Adventure. Just kidding, it's for me. Adventure. So then Fraser comes to the dinner table in like a Foot Locker rough outfit and blows a whistle because tonight's theme is the car park.

Okay, are we going to ever get non-white trash guests? Because so far you're two for two. So come on. This is the flagship below deck. I don't want to just watch white trash interact. Is every freaking boat ride going to be a discount tour yes the answer is yes um uh so then phrase so the first thing that they are served is a reinvented french onion soup which by the way is just a french onion soup with the gruyere crouton on the side i don't know if it's really reinvented it's just presented deconstructed maybe so that i love i'm like i love these why do i get like hung up on

this bullshit i'm like i can't believe the croutons on the outside they're saying it's reinvented it's like totally not reinvented at all if we didn't below deck recaps would be two minutes it's like two maids fucked and then another maid got drunk and another maid got bad as the other maid the end bye but the chef took the crouton out of the bowl and put it on the side so uh zandy and cat are talking about men that they want to bang zandy wants a viking and then the guests are talking about how they're going to do commitment ceremonies and zandy asked cat her type and cat's just like i just want someone to

make me laugh i just haven't had genuine banter yet but i guess i haven't really spent a lot of times with the guys yet either i did find some gum at the bottom of my purse though that was something more food comes um and this one guy is like hey guys if you want to know what medium rare looks like bam this is just the way it is medium rare right here but then the burly guy is like yeah bro but i can't chew it i've had a lot of fillets and this is some chewy shit yeah i think it's a little too raw when people can't chew through it yeah um so someone asks for the most dreaded this has got to be a chef's most dreaded request can i have some a1 sauce ouch how's that supposed to fix chewiness by the way so i guess just mask

the fact that it's not cooked at all it's like rancid meat i can't believe nobody got sick so barbie goes and tells anthony he's like you cannot blame me for not having quality meat we are in a small small island then don't serve them that serve them something else yes exactly work with local ingredients sir yeah so then this then the lady is like oh my god i want some cheez-its with wine keeping it classy you know and um zandy's uh meanwhile zandy is sort of ordering cat around to the rooms and she she's like, come on, you got to wipe this. You got to make it clean. And Kat tells us that growing up with trauma has left her very insecure,

which is why she can't fold towels properly. I guess, yeah. And Zandy's like, wait a minute. Why is this towel folded like crucifix? Redo it. She's like, sorry, trauma. folded like crucifix. Redo it.

She's like, sorry, trauma. So now the night's ending and Ben is encouraging Kyle to hit on Barbie because they're both on lates tonight. So then one of the guests is telling a joke. He's like, what do you call a fish with no eyes? You call it a fish. I laughed. I didn't get it until i saw it right now it's like oh it doesn't have an eye i think i think i've heard it before and i laughed then and then when i heard it again this time i laughed again i love a stupid joke like that like what did zero say to eight oh what nice belt did you hear about the uh antennas he got married no the wedding was

okay but the reception was amazing okay so um did you hear about the one about the reinvented onion soup it was stupid sorry there was no punch line there just rage so the captain goes to the shop and he's like listen i know you're striving for perfection but we need fuel all right we are people people need fuel, all right? We are people. People need fuel. You understand? And he goes, I would not disappoint you again, Captain. I give you my word. I'll dress up like your mother and inspire you. So now, Frasier thanks Barbie.

Frasier goes to sleep. And he's like, thank you, Barbie. Thank you for everything. And then he talks to himself, our favorite supporting character, Frasier's personal, I you, Bobby. Thank you for everything. And then he talks to himself. Our favorite supporting character, Frasier's personal, I mean, alternate self. And he's like, I don't like it. I don't like the way she is. So Kyle and Barbie are up alone.

So he's like, put her on the kettle, would ya? So they just sit down and talk. I love that Barbie does not give a fuck. She sits down all the time just to have a good conversation. She does. So they talk about how old they are. He's 27. Or she's 27.

He's 28. He's a Taurus. She's a Virgo. And a virgin. He's like, that's a load of bullocks there. I was going to say, a load of STDs, y'all, I reckon. Oh, this guy's so romantic. I love courtship.

So now it's the morning and everyone's work working waking up working um and uh sunny is driving a seadoo the seat the jet ski something another and jared's like hey hey sunny hey hey hey don't ever go out without a jack and always make sure you plug in this thing you gotta always do that so then ben he's like hey hey uh ben ben ben jared just want you to know uh sonny was uh she didn't have a safety jacket on a life jacket on and she didn't plug in just want to announce that to the entire boat everyone everybody's like yeah i already announced i already addressed that mate okay and so now sonny's pissed she's like um i'm so annoyed that ben would get over the radio

and say that thanks a lot for making me look stupid ben yeah and she's totally right it was not his place to do that and it was totally like a brown nosing thing he knew the captain was listening ben is such a fucking underminer yeah he really is hopefully captain carrie is smart enough to see this and i'm like oh look at ben that was good ben pointed something out so now sunny's pissed so then meanwhile up on the up on the on the deck ben is ben's there with sunny and uh he's like hi and she's like hi she like doesn't say anything he's like oh she's certainly chilly yeah she just ignores him and then the captain is talking to fraser and fraser tattletales he's like we need to have a chat i'm dealing with a lot of snapbacks that are quite

hostile and attitude from barbie it's like oh i don't know i don't love this he's now he's now going listen the other way i think barbie's not great okay but i think it's too soon to jump on the fiery gun i agree i think barbie is pretty bad and this conversation will be happening but i think that fraser is now trying to be like so on top of it with captains that he's maybe going like jumping the gun on this one because he's like we had an incident on the first charter she was a bit harsh with one of the other girls and i request us all be nice to cat and now she thinks we're all against her and i said that's not the case however you've been vile to me yeah and he's also retelling the story really wrongly he's sounding like a drama queen you know like i can guarantee

you any boss is not going to want to hear and then she did and then she was mean and then like she's like really rude to us like nobody wants to hear that. You need to have more solid reasons when you're coming to a captain than she was vile to me. And so he's like, well, and that's what I've come to, Captain. I'm a very kind, caring person, but I've said my piece to be quite frank with you, and now I'm done with this. So that's the cliffhanger.

What's going to happen? I mean, I think we all know a captain cares. I understand. I understand what you're Captain Carris is like, all right, I understand. I understand what you're going through. But you know what? I think the problem here is that none of you have had enough fuel. So let's have some fuel and let's check back in on the situation. This is a fuel issue.

A hundred percent. It's going to be that. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us for both of these gorgeous shows today. We will be back later this week. We've got a big week coming up. We've got a Southern Hospitality bonus. We've got Summer House is starting this week.

We're finishing out Beverly Hills in Miami. Just a ton going on. So keep with us. Go get your tickets for our European tour. And our Netflix is a joke comedy festival and you can also still get tickets for the replay of the crappies that were streamed uh all of that is available at watch what crappens.com we love you guys we'll talk to you next time okay. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like

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