Watch What Crappens - #2330 PumpRules, Part 1: Did It For The Graham

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

*This is part 1 of a two part recapThe cast grapples with whether or not to show grace to Tom Sandoval after Lisa makes an impassioned plea on behalf of his mental health. Plus, James throws ...his first pool party and later receives a heartwarming surprise. And grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi, what's going on with you? Not much, just, you know, here we are, midweek.
Starting point is 00:00:59 It's Vanderpump Rules Day, arguably one of the biggest days of the week for us, especially this week where there's a giant cover story in the New York Times about Tom Sandoval, followed by a giant story about Tom Sandoval in Interview Magazine. So this world is fucking over. I'm sorry. Are we even making an effort to maintain a world? Why are you guys writing fucking cover stories about Tom Sandoval? What a loser. What a loser.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Get a life. It's been a rough day for me you know i mean i was out there in the world earlier i mean it was like the la riots out there what happened i'm just kidding it's just these are this quote from tom sandoval is so fucking disgusting i can't believe it like comparing his basic ass existence to george floyd and can you believe it i mean i can believe it actually of course and you know who else could believe it the people who wrote the article they could fucking believe it because when it got to this part in the article you know what finish your intro and i'll go into this article yeah let's leave there's a little teaser just my just my overall note we need to just stop writing fucking articles about Tom Sandoval. And what are you guys having? Who's that famous photographer for Vanity Fair?
Starting point is 00:02:08 Annie Leibovitz. What are we having Annie Leibovitz do the photographs now? Why are you giving him fucking artistic photos worthy of the loo? That was actually the thing that offended me. That actually offended me so much. Because it's like, it is giving. Because you know in those moments while he's taking that those photos even though he's saying this bullshit he's like dude i look sick in that photo man that was
Starting point is 00:02:30 like a sick photo shoot they're giving him rock star presents for what for being a fucking loser and cheating on his fight i mean even beyond the being a fucking loser part i mean even beyond the cheating on his fucking girlfriend part what did he do to get in the New York Times Magazine? Have some self-respect over there, for Christ's sake. I know. And, by the way, they didn't even ask us for a quote. So, like, that's totally not bullshit. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Oh, God. Imagine. Speaking of Tom Sandoval, levels of... Ego maniacal. We're like, why are we in that? The day the New York Times actually comes to us for a quote, that will be a thing. So anyway.
Starting point is 00:03:13 The time is near. If Tom Sandoval's in the New York Times magazine, it was good enough for us then two years ago, at least. I mean, if we're good. Well, that's what my mom always, my mom is always like, well, Ben, you know, New York Times is slowly coming around to reality TV. They just wrote something about,
Starting point is 00:03:30 what is this, Scandival? I'm like, yes. So here is the news, everyone. We actually have news to announce today. Big news. Double big news. We have added a show to our European tour, in case you didn't already see on our social media. We're going to Dublin. We are going to Dublin. So now we have added a show to our european tour in case you didn't already see on our social media
Starting point is 00:03:45 we're going to dublin we are going to dublin so now we have three shows it looks like it's only going to be three shows it's going to be london dublin and birmingham uh those are all going to be at the end of may for this year the tickets i'm so sorry we said the tickets go on sale today which is sort of true the tickets really go on sale on Friday, but there's a Patreon pre-sale that already started this morning. And that's for all three cities. So if you are there in that corner of Europe, or if you just want to visit that corner of Europe, come join us there. We'll be there. It's going to be great. The show in London is actually part of a comedy festival. There's all sorts of comedians that'll be there at performing so like come for us stay for everyone else i don't know uh but it'll be it'll be so fun some people have been asking if we have a show in glasgow which
Starting point is 00:04:34 would have been that would have just been a dream but unfortunately we could not make scotland work out on this trip which of course we want scotland to work out, because all we do have to say is, Madder! So, unfortunately, no Glasgow, I'm sorry, but we do have Dublin and London and Birmingham, and it's going to be fabulous. Tickets at WatchWhatCrappens.com. That was the announcement. Also, go get your tickets for the Netflix is a Comedy Festival
Starting point is 00:04:59 that is in May as well. You can find that at WatchWhatCrappens. Also, this is a video recap, and we do bonus episodes every week on Patreon, so go catch those over there. Okay, let's get into this. Well, you want to talk about that article? You want to talk about this New York Times article? So, I was saying before, I haven't actually sat down to read it yet, because I am very much like Kyle Richards, and this was an article that was in the New York Times magazine section, which means it's like a sit down and read this article. And honestly, I'm a busy person. And also, honestly, do I need to have a sit down and read moment about Tom
Starting point is 00:05:36 Sandoval? I'm not sure that I really do. What else do I need to learn? What nuances is the New York Times going to tell me that I have not already been able to discern for myself? I will read it, but that's going to be a weekend project for me. But did you check it out? I did. Now, as far as reading the whole thing, listen, this is very New York Times-y. It's very verbose. It goes on and on and on.
Starting point is 00:06:06 And it explains what reality TV is to smart people, you know. Because smart people read the New York Times. In theory, they do not watch Vanderpump Rules. So, it's kind of a condescending article in a way. Because it's like, this is what reality TV is. And this is what reality TV is like. They did it in a way because it's like this is what reality tv is and this is what reality tv is like they did it in a very interesting way i felt like they kind of wrote it like a reality tv show article which was interesting you know and uh they had one of tom tom's pr people who i think from
Starting point is 00:06:39 they were calling it someone from tom's pr team from reading this and just knowing bravo as we do i'm thinking this was someone who works at bravo who was there to kind of stop tom because either that or someone on piccolo in his band right some high school kid that is getting paid in cheetos and stage time you know and bus tickets to poughkeepsie or wherever the fuck they're performing these days. Poughkeepsie. So, yeah, there's someone there because after he makes this comment about George Floyd and all this other stuff, the network starts calling. So there's a couple of comments to Riley, who is this person, this PR person, furiously writing comments throughout the interview. But basically, every time you fast forward through this article to a Tom quote, it is just an absolutely douchebag comment, like every single time. You know, he'd grown apart from her, blah, blah, blah. I just needed to get away from the show i just wanted to not feel watched i just wanted to take a breath oh um oh really that's why he went on stage for the band that's
Starting point is 00:07:51 literally called the most extras you just didn't want to be watched i get it i get it yeah uh so let's see um let me well let's let's just get to the quote i was about to say let's let's actually for anyone who's been living under a rock or just somehow was lucky enough to miss this, there was this quote that really went viral yesterday. Which, honestly, I was also very upset about because I felt like yesterday was our moment in the sun because we were getting attention for the fact that Heather Gay unfolloweded us which you can hear about on crappy hour go listen to that and i was like okay well you know what this is our moment in the sun and then here comes tom sandoval to ruin our low-level gossipy story our moment in the sun that's so sad i know real housewife unfollowed us wow um okay so this was the quote so um i asked sandoval why he thought the scandal got so big and he said i'm not a pop culture historian really but i witnessed the oj simpson thing
Starting point is 00:08:57 and george floyd and all these big things which is really weird to compare to this i think but do you think in a weird way it's a little bit the same? No, Tom. No, Tom, it's not the fucking same. So then the writer says, I looked over at Riley, who was typing furiously on her phone. I think I knew what he meant. He was trying to express the oddity of becoming the symbolic center
Starting point is 00:09:19 of a nationwide discussion in a major news story. What he communicated instead was something more honest, which is just how much the experience had made him lose perspective. Which is such a, I love that. It's such a passive aggressive classic New York Times diss. And it's also just trying to make something so much smarter out of what it actually is.
Starting point is 00:09:39 It's like, God forbid, you just call this person a lump of shit. You know what I mean? Like the writer should have been like, and that's when I started questioning what I'm doing with my life. And when did this fucking newspaper turn into this? And why did I ever care to work at this fucking dump? You know, that I would be sitting here across this piece of shit as an assignment. But instead they're like waxing poetic about how deep what he said probably really was, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:02 I mean, I loved it. To me, that was just like, that's classic New York Times shade. That's how New York Times shades people. I thought, yeah, it was such a wild quote. He could have gotten away with maybe comparing it to O.J. Simpson, but when you bring George Floyd into it, it's like, are you, like,
Starting point is 00:10:18 George Floyd was not some sort of tabloid curiosity. George Floyd was like a person who died. Well, I mean, technically, no, Jay Simpson, that happened too. But a person died and caused worldwide protests and a lot of true reckoning, not reality reckoning. And so, for him to elevate himself to that moment is so vainglorious. It's so typical Sandoval, it's like not even like can't be hilarious i mean elevate yourself to like lorena bobbitt for crying out loud but you're not you're not george floyd like get over yourself sir that is it was so it was so tone deaf so typically tom sandoval it's amazing how this guy continues to keep shooting himself in the foot and honestly all he has to
Starting point is 00:11:00 do right now is be quiet because like we've said a million times the audience is ready to turn on ariana we already had a lot of people comment we know because she won um bravo liberty of the year in the crappies a lot of people say oh really so getting cheated on just makes you bravo liberty of the year you know a lot we got there's a lot of that energy out there which is so obnoxious and all he has to do is just like there. And yet he is like, no, I want people to still hate me. Come hate me. Yeah, well, he just doesn't know. I mean, the guy's just dumb as a fucking brick. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:11:33 He really is. And that goes back to that old saying that you see spray painted all over Los Angeles. Stop making stupid people famous. This is what you get. You know what I mean? This is what you get. So this was my favorite part of the article this is after this it says the next day i was supposed to attend the taping of one of
Starting point is 00:11:50 sandoval's confessional interviews for the show i was about to get in my car when i received a text from his publicist riley's boss he'd rather you don't attend today it read he's not feeling the best the next morning i got a call from baskin and the day that alex baskin the evolution producer guy the head of not baskin and robbins and the day after that a bravo publicist rang me late on a friday some of what sandoval had said had gotten back to bravo and everyone was concerned what was this what did he say about oj simpson and george floyd exactly maybe sandoval wasn't ready for this the bravo publicist asked if i really needed to see him again could the network facilitate an interview with one of the show's other stars yeah sure
Starting point is 00:12:29 sure uh he just made a comment about george floyd throw us lala for 10 minutes bravo was uh regretting very much having tom sandoval be untethered in front of a New York Times reporter. Yeah, that's... Because there's no... By the way, you cannot tell me that Sandoval is going to ever deny a New York Times reporter to sit in on his confessional tapings. Like, that is not happening. He will have a New York Times reporter follow him anywhere if he can. Yeah. And he signed up for Vanderpump Rules
Starting point is 00:13:06 because he thought people should see what it's like being an L.A. mactor. So he just did it to help us, educate us, you know, guys? Like driving down the 405, changing clothes, comp cars and headshots splayed all over my backseat. Yeah. I mean, the show was okay, but when I punched Jax, that sent it into the stratosphere.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Okay. Relax, sir. It wasn't when you think he was ever the guy who sent that show into the stratosphere. No. Stassi and Jax. Stassi and Jax. Yes. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Listen. Listen. As long as, like, it doesn't make them any better, but they were the ones who did it. They were the monsters. You were not the ones who did it. They were the monsters. You were not the monster who did it. And then Riley remembered watching that episode with her middle school friends. We were like, this show is epic, she said. Dude, it was, Sandoval said.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Riley says, it was so cool. That was such a fucking disturbing. Her middle school friends so his publicist his publicist was in middle school when this show started and now that now she's his publicist i don't like i don't know even how i feel about that yeah i mean it's so long there was a part where he's you know going on about like you know i used to want to be a real actor and look down on reality TV, but now I look down on actors. I'm like, bro, can you do this? Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Meryl Streep's at home, like, just, like, kind of giving herself scrapes on her arm with her nails, just, like, totally insecure about herself. Like, what have I wasted my life doing? Why have I worked on all of these accents? What exactly does this mean when he says, can you do this? Does that like make a tone deaf statements about George Floyd? Is it about appearing on camera in a, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:01 a motorcycle with a sidecar? Like what exactly is the, this part that he was challenging the actors to do? You know, it was just written, but you know that he pointed a sidecar like what exactly is the this part that he was challenging the actors to do you know it was just written but you know that he pointed at his face like can you do this have the weight of the world on you gesturing towards the pompadour you know yeah wow wow what a what a flooza well tom sandoval never fails to disappoint, I suppose, except that's exactly what his brand is. Disappointment. Disappointment and failure.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And this, Mactor. Wow, he just wanted to give us an insight into the world of a Mactor. That is something that a Mactor would say, by the way. Yeah, I want to give insight into the world of a Mactor. say by the way that is a hundred percent insight into the world of a mactor a guy hot guy not hot enough to be a model not good enough to be an actor see your posts driving along you got headshots in your car wow it's pretty incisive so far yeah life of a mactor driving a nissan well so uh well that sounds like uh so i've got a lot of fun reading ahead of me. And then I think the thing for Interview Magazine, that just popped up this morning.
Starting point is 00:16:11 It looks like it's a profile of him holding desserts. I don't even understand that. But yeah, I don't want to hear him complaining because now he's on the cover of the New York Times Magazine and he's in Interview Magazine. And he's living the cover of the New York times magazine and he's an interview magazine and, um, he's living his best life in those photo shoots, as you said. And, uh,
Starting point is 00:16:30 you know, I don't know if I want to hear any, the world's against me, dude. I mean, cause the world is against him, but he has his fans and he is definitely getting his exposure and he's getting what he wants out of his career that he's,
Starting point is 00:16:40 that he's always wanted, which is like massive media attention. Yeah. So congratulations. All right. So here we go. This is episode four of season 11. And this is another gloss over and kind of ode to Tom Sandoval this episode.
Starting point is 00:16:58 This is a poor, poor Tom. Oh, poor Tom. No one will forgive Tom and he's having dark thoughts. Yes, and it opens up with people, you know, getting ready for the day for all the nothing they're going to be doing. Katie's doing her hair. Lala's looking through a bin. Schwartz is doing push-ups. Sandoval's brushing his teeth. Ariana's brushing her teeth. It's, you know, exciting times happening in the world of this cast.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Yeah, and Brock's making a bottle for summer ocean moon face winter in the winter. And she's crying, and he's like, oh, those are crocodile tears. And then we see the telltale sign that we're going to James and Ali's house.
Starting point is 00:17:48 You're opening a blast. I was going to say, a Southwest airplane flying overhead. I mean, it's like clockwork. They just have it. Just every single time it goes over. And James is like, woohoo! Pool party! Pool party!
Starting point is 00:18:04 I'm so excited about it. But it's not a lot of work hosting for all these people. Doing a pool party is hard. It's our first time hosting for a pool party. I'm getting prepared to be a host. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Costa Kennedy. Not only did I buy the food and drinks, I bought the barbecue as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:23 He's like, oh yeah, I worked really hard today. I went to Home Depot. I went to Vaughn's. I went to freaking Target. I'm like, that sounds like an excellent day. Like, I would be jealous of that. And so he's like, okay, Ale. Ale, you're the decorate outside.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Okay? Okay. She's like, yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And then he sprays her with water. Stop, James. James, stop. James. James, no. I'm going to pee in the bush. and then he sprays her with water stop james james stop james james no james no uh so then we go to ariana and katie and uh they're like going over what they should wear like is this a one-piece
Starting point is 00:18:58 day it's like a two-piece too much it's like basically me and ben before any show and then she's like can you believe our Lyft driver last night? I can't believe that. And we find out that their Lyft driver for See You Next Tuesday was like, whoa, I remember this house. You and your husband were fighting. I think he cheated on you. He was the Lyft driver from the night, March 1st. Wow.
Starting point is 00:19:23 It's always strange if you get like a ride share driver twice, like it's happened to me, like I think just once, maybe twice in my life. It's always strange. And even when I was driving Uber, it was strange to get the same passenger and that would happen. And I'm like, I remember this place. But what I'm surprised at is that anyone, any driver could just remember one generic modern farmhouse from another. Like, they all look the same. I don't know. I would never be able to say, oh, I remember this house. And like, it looks like literally every other house on this show. Well, they're so big. You know how they put those giant houses on the tiny lots? I think that's why you remember, because they put this huge house on this
Starting point is 00:20:04 little tiny lot, and you're like, oh my God, how is put this huge house on this little tiny lot. And you're like, oh, my God, how is that house even fitting on this lot? And is this legal? And is this permitted? You know, all these questions run through your head when you see those big McMansions on the little lot. So, yeah, I think you remember that. Especially if you've got Tom in your backseat going, one day I'm going to be in the New York Times and you're going to regret this. And her going, oh, shut up, you fucking loser.
Starting point is 00:20:25 It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop
Starting point is 00:20:50 Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school
Starting point is 00:21:14 where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.
Starting point is 00:21:36 I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
Starting point is 00:21:58 And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. The driver was like, oh yeah, I remember this house. It's the only house I've ever dropped
Starting point is 00:22:38 someone off at where there was a strange purple glow coming through all the windows. Right, exactly. The house that Hubert built. So she's like, well, I was like, we're not together anymore. And he was like, yeah, makes sense. Because that was huge. And he has no idea it was a huge thing that happened. Yeah, Ariana's laughing. He has no idea how many people probably want to talk to him
Starting point is 00:23:05 so um ariana thought that they're talking about last night when they went to sir and ariana thought lala had some really great points but then schwartz was acting all like oh my god you guys are getting it up on me and she's like um three people who have something to say that means you're being ganged up on and so then she's like doing her interview and she has like a, she's like doing her makeup. She has like her mirror out. She's doing the thing on her face.
Starting point is 00:23:32 They're definitely trying to give her the I'm too big for this show vibe. I think they're going to try to sort of villainize her a little bit because they could have very easily asked her to say this line again. But instead they put in the one where she's putting makeup on
Starting point is 00:23:44 and she's like, the guy who i haven't spoken to in however many months all of a sudden is some sort of authority on who i am and how i live my life and how i think and feel that's interesting just like a man so katie's like like what like i'm supposed to get a tahoe like i'm supposed to abandon all the work I'm doing right now to go on a Schwartz trip. And she tells us, yeah, I'd rather eat a jean jacket.
Starting point is 00:24:14 That's such a specific choice. Like, of all the things to eat, a jean jacket.'s not available i mean i like katie's talking about how she's so busy um opening up the sandwich shop that she can't go to tahoe as she prepares to go to a pool party in burbank under a flight path with poop falling out of a Southwest airline lab onto the lawn.
Starting point is 00:24:50 So they're like, yeah, we're not going to that. Fuck that trip. So then we go to Villa Rosa and Sheena and Lala are there and they're joking like, oh my god. Every time I pull up to this house, I'm like, this is just like mine.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Should we place like a bet that Lisa will make a comment Every time I pull up to this house, I'm like, this is just like mine. It's like mine. Should we place like a bet that Lisa will make a comment that I'm not wearing any clothes? Darling, you're not wearing any clothes. Oh my God, we just totally made a bet. Darling, you haven't met this guy before. And she holds up a new dog. It looks like really all the other dogs. She goes, this is Donut.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I named her after Ken's favorite pillow. Why have you guys got no clothes on? So this dog, the cloning is starting to break. So you know how the cloning, the first clone is almost perfect. And the next clone is like not perfect. And the next clone is kind of melty faced and then the next clone is just like two-headed what i know you want to make a clone i know you want to make a multiplicity reference right now so the floor is yours i was leaving that open i was leaving that open for you i've actually never seen this dog is you've never seen multiplicity
Starting point is 00:26:00 no that's why every time you mention it that's's why I never pile on because I haven't seen it. But I know you like to mention it. Wow. No, I mean, it's that and you finally saw Steel Magnolias, right? I finally saw the color purple. Steel Magnolias I still have not seen. I'm not finished yet. So multiplicity is when they just basically make a thousand Dolly Partons and each Dolly Parton has a different outfit.
Starting point is 00:26:27 And one of them has an allergic reaction to something. Just kidding. That's like my favorite. That would be my version of multiplicity. Just make nine million Dolly Partons. No, I wasn't actually going to make a multiplicity statement. I was just going to say this dog looks like it is at the tail end of the cloning cycle. Let's just say that.
Starting point is 00:26:47 This dog's not winning any DNA. You know what I mean? It's got the tail end. It's a poor thing. It looks like an Ewok that's been smooshed down with an iron and run over by a tractor. Stop cloning your dogs. Poor Donut. Well, yeah, sweet donut yeah i didn't study donut enough but my impression
Starting point is 00:27:10 donut is that yeah maybe donut is on the on the raw end of the cloning stick there but um is that a raw end of a cloning stick i don't even know that fuck me with i think i just like okay i think i just mixed metaphors and added a new twist to it he's on the raw end of the cloning stick um i kind of feel like this moment's like george floyd this is um i just made up a new statement so uh lisa vanderpump is like oh hello hello so i really want to talk to you about so many things and i don't think you're going to like everything I have to say. And they're like, okay, what's it about? Well, can you believe it?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Raquel was found in the hot tub with Tom Schwartz and Sandoval when Ariana was out of town. In the hot tub. In the nighttime. Ken, that was last season, darling. All right. Go back inside, all right, till you remember what I've told you to bring out here this time. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:11 We have to give him the 2024 system update. He's still stuck on Big Sur. Apparently, at nighttime nighttime he has a whole different look. So she's like, come on, come with me. I have to finish making this vase of flowers. So they go outside
Starting point is 00:28:42 and she's just making a vase and they just stare at her making a vase. It's definitely like a rich person thing to do, just to remind the poor people how rich you are, that you are making a vase. Well, she used to have the excuse of the restaurants, right? Like, oh, I'm doing this for the restaurants. This is what I
Starting point is 00:28:58 do. I work so hard every day. I wake up and I put pink flowers in a vase. And then she would take it to the restaurant and be like, look at me! I put flowers into a vase! And they would all bow, you know. And now she's just like, fuck it, everywhere's closing so I'm just doing vases.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Just for me. Random things to put in front of Max's face when he's trying to tell me how his day is. You know how it goes, darling. I just tell my sweet son, Max, here, can you take these flowers and put them over there? The man needs to bus. He needs to bus to be alive. He needs something to water.
Starting point is 00:29:31 He's just not whole, that one. I need him to come over and ask if he can clear this plate. It just makes him feel happy. So she's like, I spent time with Sandoval and I know for a fact he's in a very very dark place and she's like well i'm pissed because i reached out to him and when his friend died and he blocked me and he's reaching into this villain energy and i'm really not here for it he needs to
Starting point is 00:29:59 humble himself he needs to have humility and told him, you better find a good therapist, too. Yeah, he needs a good therapist. Or, instead of a therapist, he could go to a place called Intimacy and get into a cold bath. So, Sheena's like, yeah, my conversation with Sandoval, like, could not have been, like, more frustrating. Like, he's taking, like, no accountability for, like, anything he's done. And so, like, Lisa says he's depressed. I haven't seen that. I've just seen him project. So Lisa says, maybe he's angry and upset.
Starting point is 00:30:35 He doesn't know what he's doing. He's a broken bird. He's not my favorite kind of bird. And Lala's saying, no, he's stepping down. What did he say to me last night? What did he say? What did he say about me, Sheena? And Sheena's like, he calls you a narcissist.
Starting point is 00:30:50 She's like, yeah, a narcissist. And then we see the clip of Sheena saying, a narcissist wouldn't call themselves a narcissist. And he goes, yeah, I know. That's why Lala won't call herself that. Burn! Burn! So to show that Lala is not a narcissist, she absolutely does not make this about her.
Starting point is 00:31:09 She goes, I've messed up a lot of times, and I feel like I own it all the time. Yes, I should have asked more questions about Randall. I'm not stupid. I understand it. And you know what? I was in a relationship that was tough. I had to watch a man bounce fried chicken thighs
Starting point is 00:31:24 on his stomach for kink yes it was hard and i didn't i didn't ask questions and i knew it okay lala you're talking about randall again we're supposed to be talking about scandal ball uh and i love that lala's still trying to make that story i mean this cast i swear so vanderpump's like oh and we never held that against you what are you talking about you all held it against her for like years and years. Of course you did. This is Vanderpump rules. And she goes, but he has, he has.
Starting point is 00:31:50 He's going to the press and he's saying that Lala needs to share her life and that she's not real. And I just can't forgive someone when they can't acknowledge they hurt me. But you have the support and love right now. Life is going swimmingly for you. Look at what you've achieved.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Look at all the... I mean, you moved to Westwood. What an accomplishment. But he's doing nothing. He has no support, darling. Look at poor, poor Sandoval. He looks like a pottery version of his former self. Just dried out and clay-looking.
Starting point is 00:32:28 He's aged 30 years. I mean, that was before the affair as well. But no one's really sure. But I don't know if he's allergic to moisturiser or what it is. I didn't really ask, really. I don't care. But you should, darling! His own.
Starting point is 00:32:42 The people who work in his kitchens call him Clay Duval. It's just sad. It's sad. He really has turned into Clay Duval. Yeah, Clay Duval. He does look like a pottery Sandoval. So, she's like, darling. Okay, Lisa, you know what?
Starting point is 00:33:01 If you're just so worried about Tom, why don't you take him off television, first of all, because it's obviously not good for him, and take him into your home and really work on him, Lisa, like one of your projects, instead of foisting his ass on the rest of us, okay? And giving him, you know, a presence for what he did, you know, and congratulating him and just moving him up in the world for what he did. I'm not buying it from Lisa. And also, I'm really truly, and this is me not being bitchy, but I said it just after something bitchy. I feel for Lisa with her brother. Obviously, that's terrible, but that's not fair to use that to guilt other people into things regarding other people that have nothing to do with them. That's not right. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:47 I mean, I think that like what she went through with her brother was really terrible, obviously. And so I think that she's probably particularly sensitive to it. So like, I don't, I actually don't find fault with her having that instinct. I just don't know with Sandoval.
Starting point is 00:34:04 I think you're like, some people were saying that online too, that if Sandoval don't know with sandoval i think you're like some people were saying that online too that if sandoval like like sandoval the healthiest thing for him if he is really in a in a challenging space with his mental health is to not be on reality tv so uh lisa is basically saying how that he's like a shadow of his former self and he just doesn't want she doesn't want to see anyone go down a path of that kind of depression when the world is against you and she says she's seen depression she knows depression she remembers what her brother said it's always going to stay with her and there's just like only so much that someone can take before they break and she just doesn't want to be in a position where they all have regret and you know she's she says that she never thought
Starting point is 00:34:43 suicide would touch her life and when her like it's just this is all like a massive trigger for her and um she really feels that sandoval is not the sort of person to say he has suicidal thoughts unless he means it well i think that it sucks because it's like you know everybody loves lisa and especially these girls and you're not going to be like oh oh, well, I'm going to completely disregard what you just said about your brother because, you know, obviously that's a very real thing and no one's going to be that mean. But it puts them in a place where they're immediately like, oh my God, Lisa went through this.
Starting point is 00:35:18 So it's almost like Lisa went through this. So now let's just let Tom back in. And I just, I think what is very difficult here i'm just gonna be honest i don't want to say like it's not fair like because you know it's i'm gonna say something that may get me into trouble but i'm gonna it's it's coming from an honest place of how i feel which is that what's what's difficult about this situation here is that i don't think anyone wants to see anyone who is struggling with their mental health, who is in depression, who may hurt themselves. No one wants to see anyone go down that path. And I don't even want to see Tom Sandoval go down that path. I don't want to see
Starting point is 00:35:52 Rachel go down that path. I don't want to see anyone go down that path. And what's hard here is that when Lisa says, when Sandoval says he feels this way, he's not going to say that unless he means it. The problem for me is that his credibility is so in the gutter, and I have to grapple with this idea that I want to believe someone. If someone says that they're having suicidal ideations, if someone says they're depressed, my instinct is to say, no matter what, you have to believe that and you have to lead with that. But what's hard is that his credibility is such shit that honestly, I can't help but feel like, is he really? Or is this just like another part of like the story he's weaving to gain sympathy? And I hate, I absolutely hate having to have that doubt. And I tried to skirt around it because I'm like,
Starting point is 00:36:43 I don't want people to be like, how could you doubt that? But like, honestly, it is what I think when I watched this show, I hope to God that that is that I'm a hundred percent wrong. Because it, because that would be real bullshit if, if there were some sort of manipulation around that.
Starting point is 00:36:57 But that is truly how I feel when I watch this. And I, and I grapple with that. Most people do. Right. I mean, it's Tom. So I think most people do feel that,
Starting point is 00:37:04 but I think it's just one of those things where if somebody says it, you just take it at face value no matter what. Yeah, and that's what I'm doing. It's one of those things where it's like it's not really as important to be right, I guess, in this instance. Yeah, that's a really good point. But at the same time, it's also not just a get-out-of-jail- free card where everybody needs to be like, okay, whatever you need then. I think in one way it's like, well, not us personally, but like the cast. Okay, well, you don't need to be doing podcasts about him every single day. You don't need to be giving interviews about it every single day.
Starting point is 00:37:38 You don't need to make it all about completely villainizing it every single day but i don't think it also needs to be like okay but then we need to shove him in ariana's face every episode either so i mean i don't really know what the answer is but it's a quagmire it's a real it's a real uh it's a classic better rules quagmire yeah but you know what i was like you know what i was gonna skirt around this i was like you know what i have i'm like we're on a podcast I have to express how I feel when I watch their show. And that's how I feel. And I don't like it. And like, but it is like, so that's why when Lisa says, oh, he's someone who, when he says this, he wouldn't lie about it. That's, I think that was what made me be like, I have to say something about this. Because the truth is that he has deeply lied about things, like really, really fundamentally lied in hurtful ways. And so it's just, I don't know. It's hard for me to take anything that he says. I have to take everything with some skepticism, no matter what now.
Starting point is 00:38:35 So it's difficult. Yeah. So. This very important thing is difficult to get through. For us. We're like, this narcissist. Guys, this is how difficult this is for us that's worth it we're like this narcissist guys this is how difficult this is for us god damn sandable what he's done to us um but yeah it is a difficult place but that's kind of why we're in that place you know what i mean because you get put in that
Starting point is 00:39:01 difficult place and it's like oh but then you then, you know, you're emotionally torn. So then you have to put that person back. You have to let that person back in. I know. Cause we're good people. Yeah. We're just, we're really good people. Guys,
Starting point is 00:39:14 guys, Sandoval is now the third co-host of the show. Yeah. Guys, we felt so bad about Tom Sandoval. He's joining us now. Lala. So,
Starting point is 00:39:23 so then Lala goes, you know, I hear what you're saying, and I most certainly don't want anyone to wear this for the rest of their life, because I know what it's like to continue seeing people. For fuck's sake. The way she is trying, because Lala
Starting point is 00:39:40 has never been able to have the A story on this show. She's always B or C. And every time she has a scandal, someone has just a bigger version of it. So she's like, okay, so the coast is clear. I can have a scandal now? Can I? No.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah. And she's like, yeah, it's just like me. Because I don't want them to have to carry it like I had to. I never really gave Santa Claus health much thought. In my mind, I looked at him as someone like my ex. They don't have, like, feelings. And I don't want to be angry all the time. It's truly killing me. It's killing me. And this hasn't been, like, easy for me, especially. I was so distracted the other day that I burned my famous enchiladas. He was genuinely like one of the best friends I ever had in my life.
Starting point is 00:40:27 So she's like, but doesn't that make it easier if you just forgive? And I don't know. Have you called Kyle Richards lately? She's not going through a great time. Ronnie, that was so good. Just saying. Good night, everyone was so good. You'll be just saying it. Wow. Good night, everyone.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Good night. We are Watcher Grappins. The show is over. There's no need to top it. Nothing else needs to be said. That was good. So Sheena's like, but is it worth losing Oriola? She's like, talk to her, Sheena.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Don't just be a people pleaser. Unless you're pleasing me and Sandivar. Go where your gut tells you. I don't think we need to tell anyone on this cast to go where their gut tells them because it has never led to a good place, ever. Yeah. Instincts don't work on this show, okay? Commercials. Here comes one right now.
Starting point is 00:41:30 So, instincts led to a 10-year relationship with Tom Sandoval. Sheena's like, Ariana made it very clear that anyone who chooses to be friends with Sandoval is basically dead to her. Yeah, but at the same time, if someone's really struggling at this level like how do i like keep coming for like how do i keep coming for him so then i think this is where i was thinking like okay well you can you can not completely forgive the person but then also not do a podcast about them every day to get money for yourself you know what i mean there is a middle ground also by the way let's not forget that lisa vanderpump she has a show that she has to oversee here and she knows this cast has to get along and has to shoot together so she's like come on come on stiff up a lip and all that but i think also behind the scenes i think this cast also realizes that and they've also been shooting now for a while and see what the season is which is
Starting point is 00:42:22 literally nothing like nothing is happening it's like a bunch of kumbaya moments. This is episode four, which means it's probably week four-ish. So, they're probably like, okay, nothing's happening. And these two are making all these millions off this show and nobody else is. So, why are we trying to work? They should be fighting on this show. Let's bring his ass back around. What the hell am I trying to pretend I care about Katie's jean jacket jokes? That's probably very true. Although, hot take, I'm really enjoying this season. I don't know if other people are enjoying it, but I actually am enjoying it because I feel like everything they're talking about is, like, real shit in their lives as opposed to, like, dude, let's have, like, a party where we dress up like we're in gym or something, you know? Like, so, it's not full of fireworks, but I'm into it.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Oddly enough, I am into it. So, anyway, who cares? So, Sheena's like, okay, well, we're going to go to Tahoe, yeah, because we want to be on the show. So, we're going to do that. And Sheena says, she's like, well, yeah, you know, there's, like, a lake house and, like, a boat. So, like, I'm totally in. Like, especially if we can, like, put Tom in the pool, in the you know, there's like a lake house and like a boat. So like, I'm totally in. Like, especially if we can like put Tom in the pool, in the water and see if he can drown like Jax almost did.
Starting point is 00:43:32 So they don't know if Sandoval's going to go, but. Of course he's going to go. Right. Of course. Just let him come if he wants. Just stop attacking him. No one's perfect, right? Nope. Just look at Rocio.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Random stray over there. Did you know Rocio has one ear that's bigger than the other? Here, throw a flower at her. Did you know her foot is composed mainly of cucumbers? How odd. Sometimes Ken and I like to play this game
Starting point is 00:44:07 where we push Rocio down the right side of the stairs and see if she ever touches the left side of the stairs. Anybody want to play? We call it Rocio bowling. Not to be confused with bowling at Rocio, which is where we have a stand at the end of a bowling alley and roll balls at her just to avoid them. Ken's ball is very slow, but it gets there.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Okay, so now we go to James's and we know why. Because. So, yeah. Poop. So it's a big pool party katie and ariana arrive and then sheena and lala arrived there's basically like six people and james is acting like he is um you know performing at for cascade again so he's yeah and schwartz comes with some plants and ali's like wow he brought another plant.
Starting point is 00:45:06 I think this is the third plant that Schwartz has given us. I think I'll need a gardener. That's so Taurus of me. What is she? I forget what she is. Does she tell us? She's like, that's so likely, brah. So Jericho, James's friend, is there.
Starting point is 00:45:28 like that's so like libra um so jericho james's friend is there and schwartz is like oh yeah i'm like sober curious but i think i'm gonna have some of this tequila because it's really good tequila i'm really curious about the tequila oh no the girls are here last night the conversation with the group didn't go so well they jarred and feathered me, man. But I'm Tom Schwartz. I'm not the accessory to the affair. I'm just the guy whose house they used to fuck in and the guy that lied for Tom every day. Whatever. I'm just the guy who helped this affair continue on quietly behind closed doors without anyone knowing. It was almost like if their affair was the laptop i was the dongle i was like the accessory oh no i was the accessory i'm just the kato caitlin of this affair guys dude i told you it was like the oj trial
Starting point is 00:46:17 jesus just coming here was like everybody chasing me down the freeway my white bronco dude next time with your white bronco like you totally add like a purple highlighter underneath the undercarriage it looks awesome it's sick so james has made a something about her store floaty which is actually more progress than the actual restaurant i have to give them credit lays built them a set box which we haven't shown yet, right? Did you show yours? The potato chip box? I feel like I did back. I put it on the gram back during BravoCon.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I'll get it next time. It came during BravoCon. So while all of you guys were actually doing something productive with your time, I was taking photos of a Lays potato box. Anyway, they did that. And then he's made this floaty version of it so then now james is doing exactly what you think you know mature homeowner would be doing jumping off the roof into his pool yeah score the usual usual thing um i feel like that is you know i've talked a lot of shit about the valley but i think that one of the perks of the valley is that it seems like every house in the valley has the ability to say i'm a golden god and jump into a pool like i think all houses
Starting point is 00:47:30 in the in the valley are zones that way there's at least one roof very close to a pool that you can jump into so that's cool okay so now we go to the classiest place we've seen in a long time on this show. Into Me Sea. Okay, this is a real stretch. Into Me Sea. There are a lot of really bad pun stores in Los Angeles. And a lot of bad, silly names. Here's where the silly names are in Los Angeles. Anyone who opens up a pho restaurant, they love a pun. Like, pho me.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Or... One pho. That was my favorite all those but then new age stuff also into me see this has a real this is a real stretch here because it's spelled into me c c s e. And they pronounce it intimacy. So, intimacy. And also it sounds gross because I don't want to go sit in a tub with someone's cum. You know what I mean? Like, what is this, Below Deck? That's what it sounds like, right? People fuck in these tubs.
Starting point is 00:48:36 You want to come in? It is literally, like, I think it's trying to seem deep. But it's really just saying, welcome to a sea of self-involvement. It literally says, into me, see. Like, I'm into me. I'm into me. Which is a perfect place for a Tom Sandoval scene. So, let's go with Billy Lee. The added bonus of Billy Lee.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Wow, how'd she ever get fired? Crazy. So, they walk into me, see. Into me, see. And the lady's like, welcome. This is our quantum wellness studio. Have you guys ever done cold plunges before? And Sandoval tells us, this whole situation with the scandal and the aftermath
Starting point is 00:49:15 have been really stressed out, depressed, and overwhelmed. And I realized that I have to be able to handle those emotions in different ways, healthier ways. I'm like, go to therapy, not an ice bucket challenge. Yeah, this is going to fix everything. So he gets in this bath of cold water and Billy's just like kneeling down watching him with her eyes really wide. Billy looks like someone's always throwing keys at her. You know what I mean? Billy looks like someone's always throwing keys at her. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:49:46 I think you said that. That's so true. She has that look of fear in her eyes that I get when someone throws keys at me. But she's just always like, she just stays like that. It's like someone slapped her on the back when keys were being thrown at her. And she's like, how are you feeling, Tom? How are you feeling? Is it cold?
Starting point is 00:50:03 And he's like, oh, it's cold, bro. It's hard, bro. It's hard. He's like, what is the pain level? Between one and ten? He's like, oh, dude, it's like a nine, bro. Oh, man, it feels like especially weird right now because I've never been an
Starting point is 00:50:19 outsider with my group of friends, and I just feel like Auntie Dufresne when he first gets to Shawshank, man, like like i wish i could just get back some part of my life my old life it's just like always the people that are close to you that seem to hurt you the most i was like yeah isn't that funny how the people that are close to you hurt you the most uh you should ask ariana about that actually just ask your mom about that you should ask literally the person at starbucks should ask her non-retired yet mother about that who no longer has her fund to uh retire tom so um then he like goes forward and ducks his head in the water and like slowly
Starting point is 00:50:59 brings it out and the water brings his forward duck tail down and he just like poses and flexes for the camera it's like wow billy lee is watching him son what a meaningful scene tom oh my god billy lee has this smile on her face like oh my god i can't believe he did it oh my god she's like watching frankenstein come to life or something like she's just like... So many people are going to come see me in my open market laugh factory now. Can't wait to tell off Sweet Lady Jane's bakery when it closes.
Starting point is 00:51:33 So, now back to the pool party! And again, we know this because while Tom is in the pool, we hear the so another plane goes over by and then, you the pool party lala's talking about how her bathing suit makes me want to get a bbl you know my i want to get a bbl especially after everything i've gone through with rant because i know what it's like to carry the shame
Starting point is 00:51:57 of someone who's called okay lala okay lala um this is so a conversation between a new la young fresh person and an older haggard la person okay um i want to get a bbf old haggard person young person same let's just hold each other accountable and do 50 squats a day that's like like so, I just got to LA, isn't it? You know what we should do? We should be accountability buddies. Fuck off. How about that? I don't want to fucking accountability.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Get some fat from my face and put it into my ass. Yeah, I was about to say, the new person to LA actually has dreams that if you work hard for something, you'll achieve it. The person who's been through the works knows you work hard for something you'll achieve it um the the the person who's been through the works knows you just gotta do what you can do you gotta just cheat your way to the top i mean that's how i mean look tom sandoval is literally on the cover of new york times magazine he literally cheated his way to the top okay you just gotta cut corners where you can
Starting point is 00:53:03 so ali says that james hasn't had a drink in three months and lala's like yeah the first 30 days is like freaking hard it's sort of like the first 30 days when i was separated from rand because that's just like a really big thing when i was separated from rand you know and then we cut to james outside going look it's like beers but they're weed bro and then he like pops him open and starts, like, chugging. Doing great! That's where that sobriety is killing. So, do you guys ever have conversations about why he got sober?
Starting point is 00:53:32 Because I've had a lot of sobering conversations about the trauma I went through when I was married to Rand. You know, it was such a tough time for me in my life, and I feel like it's something that I really understand well and can talk about at length. She's like, well, did he ever tell you why she got sober? Because I want to know why did he get sober?
Starting point is 00:53:49 What was his rock bottom moment? I can't wait to use it against him later. And she's like, I'm not going to share that personally, but you could ask him about it and then maybe he could tell you about it. She's like, wait, everybody has their rock bottom moments, Alice.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Tell me what's his rock bottom moment. I'm not going to tell you. Tell me, I'm going to use your face and put it in my ass. It's a BBL. Don't tell anyone, but his rock bottom moment literally happened at the restaurant Rock Bottom. He threw some spinach artichoke dip against the wall, and I was like, you're at the rock bottom. He's like, I know, Ella. That's what we're eating at. restaurant Rock Bottom. He threw some spinach artichoke dip against the wall, and I was like, you're at the Rock Bottom.
Starting point is 00:54:26 He's like, I know, Ella! That's what we're eating at! It was terrible. And Lala's like, well, here's my Rock Bottoms. And she talks about when she went to Disney World with Ram's family and Ram's kids and was wasted the whole time, and was like,
Starting point is 00:54:41 that was Rock Bottoms for me. I mean, nothing's worse than telling cinderella off for having a pancake ass but i did it i came back and i changed my fucking life i mean do you know how difficult it was for me when rance got into the dumbo ride and had to be pried out by a fire engine team and and I was drunk the entire time. That was my rock bottom. So she's like, yeah, but with ups and downs, I don't want to trigger James, because sobriety is something I'm very passionate about.
Starting point is 00:55:14 So meanwhile, James is checking the drinks outside and starting all the hamburgers on fire, and Ariana's just like, fire, James, it's a fire. And he starts like, he starts like flapping something at it. And Ariana's like, don't fan the flames, James, don't fan the flames, which just felt poetic for this show. I mean, this is the show that's all about fanning flames. I know, that's the name of the spinoff. Don't fan the flames.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Then he does fan the flames. And then he starts DJing. And at first I was like, this is so shitty to have people come to your party where they're forced to listen to your shitty DJ sets. But then I remembered myself. Because, you know, a party at my house is like, John Cassane, darling, John Cassane. Ronnie Oakey. It's like, there's karaoke here karaoke here nope it's just for me you can have a seat right over there enjoy the fritos so now lala is talking with schwartz in
Starting point is 00:56:13 the corner and she goes hey i know i came pretty heavy last night sort of like all the heavy experiences i had after i got divorced from rand after he cheated on me would you like to ask any questions about it was a tough time we can make it the story of the season if you want. It's not as heavy as I came with Sladondo. That was some squirtings. That was some squirtings. So I'm still working on, like, don't get triggered by our experiences,
Starting point is 00:56:38 but that's going to be a process. And he goes, yeah, oh, that's beautiful. I love this. I'm so tired of keeping my dukes up i can't go from like machetes to crying in the fetal position there has to be a middle ground for me he's like yeah oh and i appreciate you acknowledging that you know we all have problems but there was a moment last night and ariana looked at me like i was subhuman like i was just some muck that came out of the river which to be fair i do spend a lot of time just rolling around in rivers, so I kind of get that.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Like she's been exalted to this queen status or something. Okay, okay, okay. First of all, Lala is such a guy on this show, isn't she? You can tell that she's paid more attention to the guys, like how the guys behave on the show because she acts just like one of the guys she acts like an asshole and then she comes back and she's like i'm totally different now i'm a different lalas than the lalas you knew before so she's doing her lala 6.0 or whatever she's on now and tom understands it so he's like she's one of us now and we're just gonna she's guy coding her language so okay ariana's a bitch right immediately you know it's also like such the thing that like a guy especially on this show would be pissed at ariana being put on to an alleged pedestal
Starting point is 00:57:56 because that's the pedestal that he wants to be on he wants he literally wants to be on a pedestal that's why he's always like oh i'm so cute put me on a cute pedestal and it's like yeah ariana has been put on a pedestal but the pedestal it's not so much that ariana was put on a pedestal it's like she was standing on just normal ground and the ground beneath all the rest of you guys just sunk you know so she just sort of became a pedestal but i think it's like yeah she was put on a pedestal because when Scandal all happened, we all sort of had a moment where we said, you know what? A, this is wild. But B, Ariana's been the only cast member over 10 years who's been more or less pretty chill, pretty reasonable, pretty nice. Like, no one is without fault, for sure. But it's one of those moments where you
Starting point is 00:58:43 think, gosh, everyone on this show has been so terrible at one time or another. And Ariana's been the only semi-decent one. And then she's the one who just gets cheated on in this way. And so everyone wanted to give her some flowers. And now they are all so resentful of it. It is hilarious. She's like, yeah, she was put on a pedestal is what she's trying to say. And it's like, yeah, there's like a diva energy, you know, but I'm not going to fawn over her.
Starting point is 00:59:08 And, you know, just for her affection or validation from her. I mean, that was very triggering last night. That was really triggering. Really? triggering that you not only brought her ex who totally fucked her over but then tried to get all of her friends to hang out with him and her at the same time like why is that not okay for her to be triggered about that geez so she's like yeah but that's natural but i thought you handled it so well but you know like i was triggered okay can we all just stop being triggered first of all please i can't yeah but i was triggered though though, because I immediately took it that you talked about my ego.
Starting point is 00:59:49 So there are times when I take things at heart, okay? For instance, you know, like when Rand cheated on me and then left me, I kind of had a Lollaball moment there instead of Scandavall moment, you know? And that was kind of a big thing, so maybe we should talk about that a little bit more this season, you know? Scandalala. Yeah, scandal. Randavol. No, scandal. Randavol works, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Randavol. Randavol is just Rand and Tom Sandoval mixed together. Scandalala. Scandalala. Scandal. Scandal. And the small letters under it say Randus means. Scandal, Emmett.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Scandalala. Randmit. Scandal-a-la. Randers means scrand-a-ball. So she's like, yeah, but I'm just working on not being a dachshund in everyone else's fights. I used to think it was my superpower to call people into sheds, but it's just not how it is. And at some point, I have to practice forgiveness. I cannot wear my traumas like a badge of honor forever. For example, I'm triggering traumatized. I was like, you just said triggered.
Starting point is 01:00:51 I don't think you're allowed to talk about not wearing your trauma as a bandage anymore. You've said triggered five times this episode. This was actually a major step for Lala to realize that she doesn't actually have to step in and call people on their shit every single second. I think that maybe realize that she doesn't actually have to step in and call people on their shit every single second i think that maybe now that she has a podcast she has realized oh you don't have to step in you just have to have a podcast and talk about people on your podcast
Starting point is 01:01:17 and it's just as fun and rewarding um yeah so lala's like yeah i didn't mean to have you abandon tom but come on you just she's everyone you know it's how my dad was and people just bulldozed over him and the stress of it truly i believe it kills my dad's so i want you to do you know do things for you for once so you're talking to one of the most selfish people on this show. I know. Like, can we not? His wife just left him because he's a selfish piece of shit. Can we stop acting like Tom Schwartz is also not a selfish piece of shit? Just because he walks around talking in a baby voice does not make him not a selfish piece of shit. But I also know Lala now, and I know what she's doing, and I like it. This is Lala where she's just resetting everybody and getting everybody back in place so that she has people to yell at because if everyone's mad at you no one's talking to you who are you going to
Starting point is 01:02:08 yell at you know you've got to people have people standing in front of you to yell at and she also knows I mean here's the thing that I have been the biggest Lala fan she has also driven me absolutely nuts but one thing you can never take away from Lala is she knows how to play the game and she is she's like lisa she's like we have a show to shoot here so we have to start like i'm just i'm just gonna suck it up and try to make things nice with schwartz hello there this is a two-part recap okay this is the end of part one so thank you so much for listening to this uh just come back a little later for part two watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king ashley savoni
Starting point is 01:02:51 she don't take no baloney strolling the park with caitlin clark she's not just a sheila she's a daniella itchels aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no tricolous she's never scary. It's the Green Fairy. Jamie. She has no last name-y. Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Couric. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible edible Matthew sisterss sisters. Give them hell, Miss Noel. She's the queen bee.
Starting point is 01:04:07 It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She's quite the catch. It's Victoria Kachet. She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.
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