Watch What Crappens - #2331 PumpRules, Part 2: Did It For The Graham

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Welcome back to part 2 of a two-part recap!The cast grapples with whether or not to show grace to Tom Sandoval after Lisa makes an impassioned plea on behalf of his mental health. Plus, James throws his first pool party and later receives a heartwarming surprise. And grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part 2 of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So he's like, yeah, well, she's like, I'm sorry I didn't give you more grace for what you were going through last year. I guess I wasn't able to give you grace

because I was going through things last year. For instance, I don't know if you know about Rand left me or I left Rand because he cheated on me. And so I was like, yeah, I'm sorry in the manner that I retaliated. I mean, coming for your lips, I mean, you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever laid eyes on in my life. I mean, that's just, I mean, platonically, of course, but coming for your lips, I mean,

that's just like low hanging fruit. There's so many other things that could have come for, your terrible personality, your gold digging ways, just so many things. God, I really messed that one up. I just see you in ocean and I remember why I fell in love with you. Just his friends, of course, you know, I just wish you could do this with Tom, you know, like we're talking now because, you know, he's family. Okay, you're doing exactly what she was yelling at you about last night.

Okay, just let the guy fucking sink her swim on his own You know, but she's there for it because she's had the talk so now she's ready. She's like I know I know I know he's like I can't abandon that man and I won't I won't do it So let's go back to intimacy intimacy get into me see So let's go back to intimacy. Intimacy, get intimacy. So Billy and Santa Bala are in robes sitting around. I feel great.

Billy's like, yeah, well, you deserve it. Yeah, well, there's like something that I've like not, that's something I've not really said to myself in a while. I deserve it. Thank you. Billy's like, yeah, no, just know that you are worthy and you deserve this By the way, are you thinking of dating? Are you interested in anyone like okay? If all the people in this room right now who would you want to date the most?

It's only me. I'm not doing that. I do miss Raquel though. We haven't talked in three weeks, dude Last time I talked to Raquel. I didn't think it would be the last time I spoke with her I mean in that conversation. She did tell me she's extending again into the mental health place and I told her okay I love her and we'll talk later, but now Won't even call me back Like what we had was love like that's why I was like so addicted to it. It's like Robert Palmer says I'm addicted to love I'm gonna put that in that show that's why I like I couldn't see anything else and

it's like not like we were just like hanging out and having sex like they hang out with the best part like when we would like talk about things and like I told her what a broomstick was and I introduced her to like tinfoil and then I would like roll up the tinfoil like we'd bat it around a little bit like it was so fun I Explained there are star machines were really not just stars. They actually came from electricity like dude I unplugged the star machine and plugged it back in I think a light bulb went out no one pun intended bro You should have seen her eyes the first time she ever saw yogurt. It was like amazing and magical So many feelings in my head there's like game there's anger

It's like pomade. Well, it's on top of my head. It's still it's thick. It's greasy It's also moisturizing, you know, and then there's bleakness because I lost all my friends, you know They were just like God it's hard being friends with someone with such healthy hair, bro. I Guess I don't know like I'm just hoping that we can give like whatever this is a shot like pretty much I'm saving myself for a kill and definitely not banging other girls on the side right now Right, right? And he's like I just feel like I want to be happy, but I'm not allowed, bro. He's like, you are, you're worthy.

You're worthy. Butterball. Vegan turkeys. Like the way we was really trying to make a go for it. You know, she's like, you know, I just feel like the world is hating on you so much and I'm tired of it. I wish people would know how much you are hurting you, Tom Sandoval, the real victim

in this because there were times where I thought we could have lost you. Yeah, I got close a couple of times. You know, when you get on freedom of mind, I had to like really set myself out of it. So yeah, that's when he says he felt all these emotions and he's like, I just wanna be happy again. I don't feel like I'm allowed. You're worthy, you're worthy. All right, well thanks for coming to intimacy

your time has helped. Get out of Missy. Back James is dancing around with butter at his airport lobby house and squirting Back to the party. James is dancing around with Butter at his airport lobby house and squirting it onto the food. He's like, I'm Bob, baby. I'm Bob. No salt, babe.

I'm Bob, babe. So then Ariana's like, oh, so Sheena, how was your conversation with with Sandeval, with Lisa or whatever? She said, oh, yeah. Oh, no, Sande all. She did say sand of all. Like, yeah, we talked about the podcast he was like pissed off about and like here's where like I'm like really struggling. We went over to Lisa today and like all three of us were

like in tears and donut two would have been in tears but I don't think he spoke English. So she was in tears because she said she was like has like a lot of similarities with her brother before he passed away. I'm like she's like very concerned of similarities with her brother before he passed away. I'm like, she's like, but I'm concerned. Um, Tom and her brother are very different people though. Like I'm sorry, but no, because like he's still not going to take responsibility for what he did. And so what, what, you know, what, what am I supposed to be like? Oh, hey guys, I'm Ariana. Could you please be nice to my ex boyfriend now?

Okay. No, it's not going to happen. And then she's, Ariana says, I can understand that maybe he's had some thoughts and feelings, but those thoughts and feelings are based on a situation that he created in which he didn't give a fuck about anyone else's mental health.

So I know I'm a bitch saying this, but it just feels a little bit like annoying. All right, I mean, this is true. And she probably took a lot of shit for this. I haven't really read comments yet, but, um, we, we, they, they on this show tend to forget like what she was going through while he was doing this. Her grandma died, her dog died. He was fucking Raquel while she was at her grandma's funeral.

Like, come on. Not exactly. That's crazy. Literally. So then Sheena cries and she's like, Oh my god, he was an amazing friend of mine. No one understands what I'm going through. And she goes, that wasn't real though, okay? As soon as he's invited to parties again, he's going to be like, oh great, that's all

I wanted. You know, don't trust him. It's all manipulation. Which feels true. So then we, now people are at home. It's after it's now it's after that great pool party. Schwartz is on his Peloton dying dying a Peloton death right there. And then we're at Lala's house and she's cleaning some cribs and James comes over so we get the traditional. Hi, Jameson. I'm upstairs Jameson. So he goes upstairs.

Oh, I've never been up here. It's cool Well, so quiet no airplanes overhead strange. Oh my god, your baby's got a bowl same kink as you a So then we see a clip of her back in her bottle days and she's like I really like getting a pop us and Brushing some tea face from my mom and she's just looking at her wow, I'm Sheena and even I think you're a fucking weirdo. All right. So Lala is saying how she's addicted to Perrier now and James is, he's like still in his still water phase. And Lala is like, so what made you want to get sober?

You don't have to tell me, but you know, we are on TV right now. He goes, oh, what do you mean? I don't have to tell you. There's not much to say Lala. I mean, look, I'll tell you in confidence. Obviously, when the Tamil Rakel stuff happened, a lot of emotions were flowing, right? Like, Aleh and I were fighting a lot, especially when I'd be getting drunk. And like, was it start with like comments

on Instagram? Was it about Tom or Raquel? Was about me showing too much emotion about Tom Raquel? And then she went and stayed at a friend's house and then took the cats with it. And I came home, there were no cats cats. There's no ally, no tarot cards. So yeah, rock bottom. Oh, he's like, but you know what? Last time I quit for the relationship, but this time I quit because Ali said she'd leave me if I didn't quit. So I'm doing it for myself.

Wait a minute. Are you listening to yourself because you quit for a relationship again. But in his mind, it's not. It's because he could have lost his relationship, but it's like the same thing. It's I had that same thought. The difference is that Raquel said, I'm going to leave you. And Ali's like, no, I did leave you. And he's like, oh, I see it now.

I understand. Yeah. So I guess Raquel said you have to quit and Ali didn't say he had to quit. So that's what makes it different. She just made it clear that he had to quit. I'm not really sure. But she's like, do you look at this as a forever thing? He's like, oh, yeah, of course. Otherwise, I couldn't possibly do it. Listen, I know everyone has their different versions of sober, but I think pounding the weed, the weed sodas. But I don't know. You're still like wanting to get blitzed out of your mind. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So I'm not really sure how that works. I just feel like don't, don't commit to things on like. Don't commit to the wrong camera. Forget it. Ride it. Regret it. You know, because look, kind of Luann, she always has to eat her words

because now on Girl Strip, she's like, well, well, no, I have drinks on from now and then, certain special opportunities. And now it's a special opportunity because I'm about to fuck five guys. Yeah. Every day is a special occasion. That's my new saying.

Like, wow, she's so spiritual. No, she just wants a drink. Oh, right. Let me tell you what I want into me. A guy. I'm sorry, I'll take a cold plunge and Rose into me. Is that a place? So it's like, you know, I don't want to be like alcoholic 40 year old because that's James's worst nightmare is aging which I know oh honey Honey got news for you. She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes

It's a she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes here back to be old I'm not coming around the mountain. I'm coming on the mountain somebody do me I Come around plenty of mountains. Where's my TV show? Hi, I'm a cast member on Vanderpump Rules Now. Someone fuck the hell out of me, please. So, um, so anyway, he's, he's just like, uh, by the way, this is also so la la to be like, but James, I'm here for you and your sobriety's because this is her every fucking year at

James and then she just turns on James and throws him out of the bus for no reason every single time. You know, in like two weeks, she's going to be talking to the girls like, well, you know, James, he became sober because Ali moved out with the cats. Can you believe that? Alley and the cats. Yeah. Um, and Katie's going to be like, sir, miss your cats.

So he's like, yeah, we've come far. That will happen. Mr. Banks. So he's like, we've come so far and you've come miles and I'm proud of you in so many ways. Look at you using a straw or a step bottle. Lola. She's like, thanks, Jets. You know what?

I don't think anyone can have a relationship like me and Jim's. We went from being two kids who were a trainwrecks to getting into relationships that ended. In my case, my relationship ended because Rans cheated on me and I had to find out through a video. He went to Nashville's and then I was all alone and there was a national scandal happening and my scandal was off to the side, but my scandal probably should become the front headlines now. What do you think everyone?

I think we can all do this together. So what I'm just saying is that like me and James are pretty much the same persons. Okay, so now we go over to Schwartz's house and we get the moment I've been waiting for all season. We meet a new side character, Joe. Hey, I'm Joe. I've been waiting to see Joe because she did this. She does this thing where she's joined Instagram.

She's like, hi guys, I'm Joe. I've joined Instagram. Please be nice to me guys. Guys, guys, please be nice to me on Instagram. And then she came out with another video. She goes, wow. You guys are like so mean to me. Where is the mean to me guys?

Guys, stopping so mean to me. Like you don't like my hair? Okay. Like I changed my hair. Like now what? Like you don't like my eyes? Like my eyelashes, I changed them. So now what guys stopping, stop being mean.

Stop it. All right. Sounds like someone has never seen anything like that. And I will never forget it. It's burned into my brain now. Where's my New York Times article, America's Most Hated Woman? So she's actually cutting Schwartz's hair.

And he's like, so would you prefer a cash? Would you prefer cash for this or a trip to Olive Garden? She's like, Olive Garden? I was like, you know what? I'm okay with her. So Schwartz is like, Joe is a human being. Ah, well, she's a human being. Um, she's a being that's human.

She's a light in my life. I'll just say that. Yeah. Oh, by the way, Joe, you know what's funny? The entire group thinks you're my secret romance slash girlfriend. Uh, isn't that funny? I mean, we did spend a lot of time together last summer. Ha!

I feel like he's trying to- You still do. We still do spend a lot of time together. Hello, I'm cutting your hair for breadsticks. Yes, I'm one of the breadsticks. I feel like he's trying to sell us on Joe a little bit here, right? He's like, I just want to clear things up. Joe was never living with me.

Was she staying with me sporadically? Yes. And during that time when she was staying with me, was she alive? Yes. So was she living with me? Yes. But she wasn't living with me. Ah, not my girlfriend.

Never was. We just had this whirlwind romance. But then, you know, now we're just buds. Okay, Joe is the Molly dealer. Can we just all agree that Joe is clearly the Molly dealer in this relationship? Joe is at the part of her life that when she's in a documentary on A&E in three years,

like, I mean, things got so bad, I was giving out haircuts for a love garden. That's rough. No one even said Joe. You're giving away your life's blood for unlimited breadsticks Joe. Come back to the five and Dean dime Joey Joe Joey Joe. Well I was like what's your rock bottom given the web free buzz cuts for some Alfredo. I feel for Joe because Joe's just one of those you want to talk about someone who never profits from any of this shit It's Joe. Okay, Joe last season Katie's like fuck that girl that you're living with that stupid fucking crackhead

Some everyone's like who's crackhead Joe like just wanting to know so Everybody's like make putting videos up of her or Joe's like cheering it Buddy is like putting videos up of her where Joe's like cheering at Sandoval's concerts and are circling her and being like, this is Crackhead Joe. And so people come me for Crackhead Joe all year and now poor Tom, well not poor Tom, but Tom's like, okay, let's put Joe on TV

so people understand she's not a Crackhead. They're still like, super Crackhead Joe's here. So then Sandoval comes over and he's like, Hey, how's it going? Like, what are you doing? Like giving him a little trimmer. I just give him just a little trimmer. Oh, right. Love that shirt, Tom. Want to haircut? Oh, take it. We're going to Alvgaard later.

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. She's snorting a breadstick. So she's melting a breadstick in a spoon. So that's your jeeps on the ground, dude. And she says, no, it's just hair. I'm just too lazy to pick it up. So I'm just going to sweep it over here. Let's just sit down.

I'm just going to leave that pile of hair there. How are you, Hans? What's been going on with you? I was like, are we really going to have a whole scene with the hair just in the pile of it? Like, can't anyone pick up that hair right now? No, that's what kind of girl, that's what kind of girl Joe is. I love it. Joe's like, fuck it. There's a pile of hair there. So, um, short, oh, so I had a great conversation with Lisa. Uh booked a sick-ass cabin man and like Katie and Ariana are gonna be there But like James and Brock and Lola and she you know gonna be there like everyone cool is gonna be there. Sorry not you Joe But I think it's gonna be like a really good neutral ground for like some one-on-ones Tom

Yeah, okay, just Breaking in to say here. This is a huge tactical mistake on Katie and Ariana's part. Huge, like I get the, why you would draw the lines in the sand, what you would need to do. I think Ariana at this point should have said, if you guys are gonna have Sandoval on this show and try and make me shoot with him, I'm not doing this show. Then she should have gone off and done spin-offs

or done something else instead of coming back to this show because this is where the audience is going to start turning. Cause the whole cast is going to go on this trip. It's going to be probably fun and they're going to have all these conversations or drama or whatever. And those two aren't going to be part of it. And they're going to start, everyone's going to start seeing them as way,

as anchors that are dragging down the show. Oh, a hundred percent. That is what's going to happen. I think it's actually the worst tactical thing is for Katie because I always got the sense that Ariana's on the show, but like, I always got the sense that if like, they said, sorry, Ariana, we don't need you on this show anymore, she's like, okay, fine. And she literally has so much stuff happening now

because she's on a paddle, man, that like it is a tactical Mistake for her on this show, but since I don't know if she cares about the show as much It's like I think not as big of a deal for her, but I think that for Katie if Katie is just like She's on the outs then what does Katie have but then again Katie has often been in that position So she's sort of used to it. But either way, I'm getting off on a tangent here. You are totally correct.

This is, we've seen it happen before. This is the way reality TV works. Once you take a moral stand and say, I don't want to be around that person, you then become the outcast, and then you become the one that the audience turns against. Will you make the other person the victim? And even though I hear how stupid it sounds, and I know that the audience turns against. Will you make the other person the victim? Even though I hear how stupid it sounds, and I know that the audience is probably like,

what the fuck, bro? But that's how it is. If there's one person that everybody's mad at or making a stink about, no matter what that person did, they become the victim in the audience's eyes. I mean, we've seen it a million times. And like you said, Ariana is good.

Like, she's a good actor. She has other things going on. She should have left as America's sweetheart is what I say. And just been like, I'm too good for that. I'm not going back. And then she would always remain hero, you know? But yeah, I'm worried. Okay, so they're not going to go. So Santa Vols like, Oh, yeah. Oh, God, we get another classic sound of all. He's like, the Schwartz is saying, listen, I went to Vanderpump Dogs, I talked to Lisa, but then I went home and booked a sick ass lake cabin and I wanna invite you and we need to go,

but you know, can you leave your ego here? You know, why don't you just go with everybody and say, hey guys, sorry I hurt you. And he goes, oh yeah, lala, sorry, I gave you so much content for your podcast And sorry for all that money on Merchimade and it's so fucked up that they don't see what they did They showed the whole nation how to treat us Everyone followed their lead bro. Okay Wow

Let me tell you something None of us followed Lala and Sheena's lead. It wasn't like we're saying, Oh my God, this affair happened. God, I'm still a sandball fan. Wait a second. Sheena's being critical on her podcast. I changed my opinion whatsoever. I'm taking out my pitchfork and coming for sandball.

No, no, no. We did not follow Lala and Sheena's lead. We followed like logic's lead. Yep. And, um, then we see clips of Lala and Gina's lead. We followed like Logic's lead. Yep. And then we see clips of Lala and Gina both talking about what a piece of shit Santa Valle is on their own podcasts. And Swartz is like,

oh, this isn't gonna go well with this attitude. You know, let your court down a little bit. Come on, you can do it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries, Myhalla Harald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound,

eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make the list. Bishop Gray is all coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Consciously. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February Black History Mom. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history

that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less in August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. August 1492, Columbus, the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights.

She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. I also love Sanneval complaining that people capitalized off of his misfortune while he is actively capitalizing off of his misfortune.

I was like, sir, did you remember you have that lightning bolt on your live shows like hanging out your necklace? Do you know about the New York Times article? I mean, obviously that happened way later, but he is the first one who wants to capitalize off of this. Yeah. So they're like, you're supposed to be humble and it's not working, of course. So Schwartz is like, okay, but like, I'll miss the gang. Let's go bond, okay? You know, oh, and by the way, something cosmically changed with Lala. I don't even know how to articulate it. It's just she was so self aware. I've never seen her like that before.

The only time I've seen her that self confident was when she came in with that Range Rover with some other girls lipstick in the glove compartment. It was amazing. Yeah. Um, by the way, I also want to point out Sandoval being so upset at Lala and Sheena capitalizing off this the whole reason why he was in New Zealand was because he was shooting that show on Fox and I guarantee the only reason why Sandoval was cast on that show on Fox was because of Sandoval because otherwise he's been on TV for 10 years He would have been cast and things a lot sooner than now if it was just based off of his captivating personality. So, um, she's, he's like, she's so self aware and Joe's like, Oh, finally.

Love you saying that love that for what's your name is Sheila. Lala. Yeah. Good for her. She like red sticks. And there's going to be plenty where I'm going. Good for her. She likes red sticks.

There's going to be plenty where I'm going. I'm, listen, I'm not saying let them walk all over you, but just like, let them feel like they're walking all over you a little bit. You know, it's like, yeah, but it's been like, they've been like, right, mom's man. Yeah. Well, then what's five more minutes? Just like, you know, just think about it. Think about it.

Think about it. Think about it. Yeah. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Yeah, she goes. And then George goes, wha, wha, wha. Can Joe please be a full-time cast?

I need Joe every. I like Joe. I like Joe too. I need her to be here every minute and I need to know what happened with the hair, the pile of hair over in the corner. I know. Joe's just on her own plane, man. Joe's just over there dancing in her own head like, yes.

Rager. She's thinking about ways to paint Schwartz's wall. So it looks sort of like a Tuscan villa. She's like faux painting. It's like, yeah. I wonder if anybody's ever painted with a sponge before instead of instead of a paintbrush. It would be wild. I'm going to do it.

Would be weird if I made you Italian menus too when we came in here. So now we go to Sheena's house and there's a doorbell and it's Tori. Tori, Tori, the babysitter who's her friend. And so she comes over. So we didn't even point out that Tori is the chick in the previews that makes out with Katie and Tom. She becomes part of the Katie Tom threesome story line later. I did not notice.

Well, because you know what? I haven't watched the trailer since then. But wow, what a twist. I did a trailer trash and we should have recognized that purple hair. We knew there was something special about her when she came in and said, I'm an actor, but I'm mostly into music now. Yes. And she continues to be special in the scene.

So she's over and, you know, they're playing with summer moon and Brock's like, hey, some of me and he puts on like a choice that the scope is coming on into check your hat. And then Tori has like a fake, like a played needle and she goes, summer moon. Did you do your a Zempik shots today? Bronx like, hey, is there a conversation to have her in my key, Dory? Well, tonight I have dinner plans

and as much as I trust Dory, leaving someone alone with someone other than my mom, it's really hard. So I did call my sister Courtney to help. Trust me. It's really hard. So I did call my sister Courtney to help. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha happen a place in Marina Del Rey and Brock and she would walk into the restaurant and she was like, I love a West Side hang. I said, yeah, this is our first night out with Justin Annie and your sister.

They have such West Side energy about people finally coming to visit them and James has such non West Side energy about having to go to the West Side, right? But he can't say anything now because now he lives in the Valle and he just made people come to Burbank. But it's really funny, all this unspoken energy in the room. Because Brock's like, welcome, what's it like to be on the west side?

Look at that, we keep the doors open out here, because see, air comes in. And James is like, good to see ya. Like kind of like stretching, like yawning, like he's just been in the car for an hour. Everyone's like throwing each other all this, like kind of like stretching, like yawning, like he's just been in the car for an hour. Everyone's like throwing each other all this like LA distance energy. I mean, James looks like he's Furiosa at the end of Thunder, like Mad Max or something like that.

Like he has been driving, driving for hours and hours through terrible terrain. And he's finally gotten to Marina Del Rey and now he has to actually sit through a dinner. Yeah. So she was like, okay, well, I just had a conversation with Lisa and she literally had Lisa tears and she was like, after my brother passed, like, um, she saw similarities with sound of all and like, she just wants us to go like kind of easier than we have been on Santa ball.

How does everybody feel about that? Um, yeah, I totally understand that. I mean, I understand that more than this strange self-serve tap situation in this restaurant. How did that even work? Did anyone see that? That was crazy. I love that. They have like little wristbands that they scan into the computer and then it's like,

bloop, and then they can, it unlocks the tap so they can pick their own. I know, so high-tech. Yeah, it really is. So James is like, well, you know what, tomorrow I'm gonna go see Lisa tomorrow. She says she wants to talk for 10 minutes or something like that. And so we see a flashback of Lisa calling and he's like, oh, not in trouble. I need you just for 10 minutes, 10 minutes, James, please, I beg of you, not just me. Do not want you to please come see me. I's like, oh, not that awkward one,

the tail end of the cloning, is it? God, let that branch fall to the ground, Lisa. No more clones from that branch, please. Paul Dole looks like an Ewok that's been stepped on by Gargoyle. Well, it's just going to be like the same thing. And I just don't want him to, I just don't want Santa Claus to do something, and then it gonna be like the same thing. And like, I just don't want him to, I just don't want Santa ball to do something.

And then it'll be like too late. And then like none of us were even there. And Brock's like, well, it's not fair that that got put on you. Like it puts you against the wall, like sort of like a flat screen TV that you're always timing me to put up there. So what are you gonna do? Say something, someone's mental health isn't okay.

I mean, we're humans after all Yeah, well, that's why I'm nervous to go to Tahoe I was like am I just nervous because I'm a Libra or am I just nervous because of this energy because like You know, I'm gonna like gonna hear him and then he's gonna tell me things and then I'm gonna like fall for it and be like Okay, I like you now They all reassure each other that they're all humans. And this is what humans do. They feel bad for people.

So she's like, yeah, I never had people at LA trying to convince each other. They're human. I love it. After they've just, yeah. Yeah, we're human just because we had a robot give us drinks. It doesn't mean that we're not human, right? We've been vile for 10 years in a row running on television. We're humans still right?

Only humans can make those things scam through a computer. Is it weird that my entire body sets off metal detector? I'm human right? Could a human could a robot eat a tater top? Wait a minute. Turns out Band of Rules is a Philip K Dick novel all along. Wait, we're all robots? Finally, they've made robots that can age. Robots can be maxed out.

Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. Robots can be maxed out. I found the robot trick. Yeah. So, Alex, I'm just preparing for the awkwardness. Like, listen, you know what? The hotel's down the street if we need to get one in town. So James is like, well, I'm not stressed about it.

I'm like, he shorts his friend and will hang. And if he measures, if that measures at one point, then like whatever. So James is already like laying the groundwork of like, if I become friends with Sender Bowl again, don't be mad at me Yeah, well we can all have empathy for someone who's fucked their whole life up I mean the problem is things can get pretty dark pretty quick. I do live with James

under airplanes Things literally get dark quickly like when the shadow of the Airbus 321 goes over your house, it's like midnight all of a sudden out of nowhere. It can also get light really quickly. Do you know what it's like? It's like we live in a state of perpetual eclipses. You know what else we get quickly to the airport? Which is handy.

And Costco. And like, yeah. it quickly to the airport. This is handy and Costco. And like, yeah, now we go to Vanderbump dogs, darling. And we've got a new intern summer. I'm expecting a lot from you summer. Okay. Yeah. She's a VIP or VP or something like that. Where's Dr.

John Sessa, by the way, fiat. I don't know. I'm assuming gone. Was he still there after that whole Kyle debacle? Maybe the world of academia called him back. Okay, so James said hello, hello. Oh, darling, hello. What's going on?

Have a seat. I need to talk to you about something very serious. So he thinks this is going to be like Lisa saying, be nice to Sandoval, right? So she goes, so you know, you're worried about Graham, aren't you, your dog, Graham Cracker, your sweet little dog, Graham? And he's like, yeah.

And then down the stairs comes Graham out of nowhere. Graham Cracker. Sweet little Graham Cracker comes down the stairs and he goes running up to James and she goes, James, he like you at one time have been rescued by me. So Graham Cracker comes running up and James says, this little dog was found in a box. And there was a woman who looked very much like Raquel's mother

standing over the box with a saw. And she started to saw through the box. And someone called me and said, Lisa, a woman is sewing through one of your dogs on the box. We've just scanned it as we do. Every dog we find on the street. And I ran down there. and by the time I flew down I passed your house. Did you hear me saying hello mom my way to the airport?

Got on the airplane which no one would thought would fly until I said Prist no change Oh, and it flew and we went to a magical mystical land called Aries owner. I Found the dog, but it was already sawed in two. One half of the dog was in Phoenix, the other half of the dog was in Scottsdale. Far be it for me to ever interrupt any magic show, but luckily I knew the tricks of magic and it turned out the half of the dog that was in Scottsdale was nothing but an empty box because it was magic after all. So I said, Chris Angel,

hand me that dog. And he said, Shawnee threw his hand down and there's a proof of smoke. And he had disappeared because after all, magic and in my arms, the sweetest, most adorable golden doodle, named Graham Cracker.

Lisa, I can't believe you did that for me. Wow, so Raquel's, I guess the story was. What's up with this? Yeah. This sucks. So I guess the story, how are we ever gonna know without Raquel doing podcasts every day or whatever. This is how I feel on Wednesday, February 21st about Scandival.

They tricked me. None of this was my choice. I thought I was running for mayor, but it turns out I was sleeping with my friend's boyfriend. Um, it turns out so, Raquel, obviously the parents had to take... She didn't want James to have the dog, because she said James made the dog a biter, because he would like, I I guess play with the dog You know when you play with dogs You're not supposed to let him bite you because they will keep biting you and it's not as cute when they're not a puppy

Okay, they're big strong jaws and that she he she would scare him like coming onto the couch She would push her off the couch or scare her while she was sleeping or scare him while he was sleeping whatever So anyway, she didn't want James to have the dog. So she gave the dog to the mom and then the mom, the dog was biting the mom, I guess. And so the mom got rid of the dog. You can't get rid of the dog. Call the dad of the dog. What the fuck? Who does that? That was what was wild to me. I was like, why was this dog in a foster home when the dog has another owner. Like that just didn't make no sense. Like, okay, so you didn't want the dog to be with James because he felt like that was bad for the dog.

So then you just like shoved the dog off to loosely, loosey Apple juice. Phil, I don't know. That was, I was shocked. I was really shocked about this. Um, but then there was also a part of me that was like, or was it that Raquel just brought the dog back to Lisa and Lisa's like, don't worry. I, I'll, I'll, I'll say what really happened. And then Lisa just concocts a story that makes Vanderpump dogs seem very heroic.

But either way, either way, this was shocking. I don't think that Lisa made up the story. And, um, no, yeah, I think that they I think that the dog was really in a shelter. What the fuck? Who does that? That was shocking and very fortunate that they were able to, I guess the shelter or, I don't know how they know. They scanned it, they scanned the chip.

And they saw that. So your dogs now, yeah, dogs now get chipped when they're little babies. And so when people, when shelters find the dogs, they automatically scan their neck for these. And when they scanned it in, what came up was the New York Times cover story. They're like, Scandival, this is a Scandival dog?

We're calling Lisa Vanderpump. They're like, wait a minute. This is a handsome Mac-ter knows this dog. Wait a second. We scan it in and there's a link and I'm following the link and it's to an MP3 that goes I'm following the link and it's to an MP. Wow, I think this is James's dog. So this is really cute. A man reunited with his dog. So she's like, yes, they dropped him at the shelter and they asked if we would take him.

And he's like, I'm feeling anger. I'm feeling sad. I'm feeling confused. I'm feeling a little bit of tinnitus, but that's mostly from the planes. I have a little bit of a bruise on my head when I scooped it off that south west wing. Um, I will say that. I mean, I've said it a million times how James is such a fascinating person

to watch because he can be so vile, but then he has this really tender side, which is, I think, why we always come back to him. And he's always been actually very, very attached to animals. He really, like he really cares about Graham and he's like crying here. He's also, by the way, very sweet to his cat, Mr. Banks. He's very affectionate towards animals. And it just, it's like, it's really lovely to see. And he's really crying. And he's saying like that Graham is his best friend. He's like, it's literally been a dream come true. And he's back with me. And I don't crying and he's saying that Graham is his best friend. He's like, it's literally been a dream come true and he's back with me and I don't know, it's possible I really don't.

I wasn't expecting this. I thought I was going to have to talk about stupid fucking Tom Sandoval. But I got Graham cracker instead. Thank you. Well, I just want you to look down at Graham and think, could I ever stop being friends with you and then put Sandoval's face on this little golden tool. Totally. And imagine what you would say to Tom Sandoval right now.

Would you tell him to get off the couch? No, no. All of a sudden Joe appears. I'll walk your dog for Olive Garden. Just tell me, tell me, tell me what you want. Any time, any day, any night, 2 a.m., 1 p.m., I don't care. Breadsticks, bitches. I want the breadsticks. I need it. I need it so bad. And that brings us to the end of Vanda Pompadres. Oh, it's actually a very sweet and lovely ending. I don't know. I honestly, Roddy. I actually really am enjoying the season.

What can I say? I enjoy it. It's like what I said before, nothing's happening. And I thought I'd be really upset with that, but I do think that all the conversations are about like real shit going on in their lives, which I feel like for me is, has sort of like a baseline compelling quality to it.

But I understand if other people are like, boring, but for me it's not, it's not. Well, that's good. I don't feel the need to make any declarations today. I'm just going along with it. It's on, I'm enjoying watching it. Part of me just has trepidation and part of me is just annoyed

that they're trying the Sandoval shit because we knew they would try it a little bit. Like if you're gonna have a show, you're not gonna fire Sandoval because he's the trying the Sandoval shit. Because we knew they would try it a little bit. You know, like if you're gonna have a show, you're not gonna fire Sandoval because he's the center of Sandoval. And the show, its core is about shitty men. It's like a Southern Charm show. Shitty men are what makes this show run.

It's always been that way. And so we knew that he was gonna be back and they were gonna have to try and rehab him in some way. But to see him make literally zero effort, like he's doing the opposite of rehab and they're still trying to shove it down our throat. So we all need to be nice to Tom. And then using this like self harm stuff is just tasteless to me. It's tasteless at this point.

So it's pissing me off. But you know, I love feeling rage. And so I am feeling that. And so at the end of the day, I chalk it up to a win. What can I say? No, I'm angry. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what? It's a great time to be alive. It sure is.

It really is. It is a good time to be alive. And you know what's going to be even better when we're in Europe? So go get your tickets for our European tour in May. And if you're just going to be in La La Land, that's good too. Come see us in LA at the Netflix is a joke comedy festival in May. You can also get this as a video and all our bonus episodes. We are doing Southern hospitality this week as our bonus.

Oh, can I? It's a little late, but that's another Bravo classic. So if you guys are into that, find some recaps over on the Patreon. Ronnie, did you know why our Southern hospitality recap is late? Why? Cause you're really fucked up, Ronnie. Really fucked up.

Really fucked up, Joe. Fucked up, Joe. So we're gonna be doing that. And Monday nights are a crappy hour night. That is our Instagram Live show, where we talk to you guys at 530 Pacific on Instagram. We sure love you guys. We will talk to you next time.

Watch what crappins would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strollin' the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-less. She's never scary, it's the Green Fairy. Jamie, she has no less namey.

Hava-Negila Weber, know your worth with Jason Kurtz. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Zipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplyin', it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches! Betches!

And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh.

She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite murder, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Podge-Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible Edible Matthews sisters.

Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She's quite the catch. It's Victoria Cotchett. She ain't no shrinking violet kutar. We love you guys.