Watch What Crappens - #2333 RHOBH, Part 2: Kyle Does The Splits

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Welcome back to part 2 of our recap. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (S13E17) concludes with an extravagant - and sort of strange - white party at SoFi Stadium.  And then afterwards, it’s the moment we’ve all been anticipating: Kyle and Mo’s separation.  This is part 1 of a two part recap.  Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes on Patreon!  Video Recaps: http://bit.ly/crappensvideoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part 2 of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. It was kind of in the basement though, Phyllien's, wasn't it? In New York, wasn't it? On the bottom floor, you had to go to like the basement floor of that shopping center? I did not know, so my only experience with Filene's basement was at the Danbury Fair Mall

and it was like street level basement, which is kind of like a basketball station. Oh, I should go to the Union Square one in New York. Oh, it was actually in a basement. By the way, it was like on the basement level. I think it was, there were like three department stores. It was Filene's, I think it was TJ Maxx, I don't remember the other, but God damn it, there were like three department stores. It was Phylene's. I think it was TJ max I don't remember the other but god damn it. Those were some good days

You know else in Times Square that when they built that big movie center That's like five a five-story mall and they had a big movie theater at the top and they had a Chili's right under it Oh my god, me and my girlfriend would go there and just Party Binge of Chili's and then we'd binge in the movie theater and watch three movies. God, those were the days. That's a great time.

And then go to the Fylian's basement after we're on the street, right? Yeah, those were our SoFi days. Okay, so, Sutton. That's where you have the white party, Fylian's basement. Yeah, Sutton gives a nut button. Everything's kind of stained because it's Fylian's and people go there after Chili's and movies.

Okay, so Sutton gives kind of a monologue about this guy and she's really looking for real love, which we all know isn't true because she would have to give up her alimony if she found it. Don't look for, stay single. That's my advice. She's like, for poor people, stay single. You know what? I've realized it's not important to me as dating as I thought it was what I really want to do what I really want to date right now is my business and also my horse Santos he's kind of hot you ever seen a hot horse before I think I have one. Okay so then Garcella Sutton what who cares okay so Kyle and Mauricio now are having a super awkward

conversation and she's like so I heard that you think that our party was in the and who cares? Okay, so Kyle and Mauricio now are having a super awkward conversation. And she's like, so I heard that you think that our party was in the parking lot because Santiago said that he asked you and like how are you guys doing it so far? And you said, I don't know, maybe it's in the parking lot. I mean, I told you it wasn't in the parking lot, Mauricio. Like I don't know if I actually said that to him or not

because like, I don't know, I'm opening up offices of a business across the world. So like the location of the dance floor is like not huge priority, but like, yeah, maybe I said that. I had no idea. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, it really shows that like this is a sentimental day. And like, I told him that this party is not a parking lot.

He like, he doesn't even love me anymore. And then we see a clip of them at home with him kind of getting stuff ready in the kitchen. He's cooking or something. And she's like, oh my God, it was unbelievable doing the walkthrough in SoFi Stadium. He's like, oh my God, I can't imagine. I'm so excited to do the white party in SoFi Stadium.

So he listened to you. You didn't say the walkthrough on the actual tour. He was on the field and quite some... There are stadiums big and by the way, there are many parties in Los Angeles that happen on parking lots. They tend to parking structures all the time, all the time. Don't come for parking lot parties when you're talking to a Texan, okay? Yeah, yeah, I live not. We've been parking a lot parties, okay?

He doesn't know. Also, he doesn't care. And by the way, that should tell you something about how much he doesn't care. Cause by the way, you know what? You wouldn't even have this issue. You just had it in your backyard in the first place, then he'll know exactly where it is. He knows where it is. You just spent 400 grand.

That was his money too. So I don't think you're allowed to, I don't think you're allowed to spend 400 grand. That's half of your partner's money. And then tell your partner that they're an asshole. They just threw you, they just helped throw you a 400 grand dollar party. Okay. And who's Santiago by the way? Stirring up this shit. This is ridiculous. Santiago better get his ass fucking fired too. Yeah. Santiago. Santiago probably added Mauricio cheating. Can a man not cheat me

more in peace? Yeah. No this is Kyle, like the fact that Kyle is using this as evidence to evidence for why their relationship is fractured and, you know, they have irreparable differences is because he thought the party was at the parking lot when it's actually on the field. It's hilarious to me. Kyle, who's this party is not about her.

And yet, if you don't remember exactly how much money she's spent on it and how extravagant it is, she's forced you. So then, well, also it's the season finale, so I just need more. Like we've been waiting the whole season for this episode and you're like, and here it all comes down to him not knowing the party wasn't in a parking lot. Come on, dude. Okay, so Denise is now talking with Sutton about Erica's performance and Denise is like, so Erica's performing. She's yes, she is. What's she performing?

She has greatest hits, Denise. That's what we think. That would be an improvement. Well, I don't know if you know this, but Aaron actually can turn back time. Just use some magnets. That's really powerful. And listen, Sherry doesn't turn back time. You know what does 5G? Big pharma turns back times.

You better watch out. Dinosaurs will be roving at Earth again. Okay. So backstage Erica's getting ready for her big debut at SoFi. And Mikey's like, okay everyone, we've not done a prayer like this in five years. Okay, so let's get back.

It is time to pray. Everybody pray, pray. And Erica's like, all right, listen to him, motherfucker up there, and your goddamn white jacket and your long ass robe that you refused to groom. Now listen, I'm not going to say anything about your paws hanging down to the ground anymore because you're rich, you're rich as fuck. But listen here, I'm doing this here show and I want a sack of money when I'm done.

You got it? Either that or you're going to lose your knees. You and your son too. I hate what these last few years have done to me. God, do you know at one point someone came in with a wire on and had a secret service set on me and I went to jail and nearly lost my entire company for five years? Oh, I'm sorry, that's what I did to someone. Still didn't like it though, whatever. Tough times for me.

What the years have done to you? That is hilarious. I don't know, are those years still wearing the earrings that they bought with your victim fund? Fulcran asshole. So we have a montage of Erica's tough times and she goes, you know, there were a lot of times that I quit. I quit caring about how I looked. I quit caring about what I ate. I quit caring about how I looked I quit caring about what I ate I quit trying to Work in a third note into my repertoire But you know what I thought I wasn't gonna perform again. I mean who how who where why? At what time what location?

With whom at who else? Do you have GPS coordinates? For who's for winds Listen Erica, I'm glad you're having a moment. Okay, but When she said that line I quit caring how I looked I quit caring about what I ate I quit caring what people about me. Dude, I go to therapy to get to this point. Why is she acting like this is the worst thing that's ever happened? I've been reading self help books since I was

in the third grade trying to figure out how to get to that point. You were winning! Erica saying, yeah, I quit caring about how I looked because it was so tough. Let's just rewind to last season. Well, no one gets to tell me how to spend my money. I don't have a lot of money,

but I want to spend my money on my glam team because I want to look good, but I want to look good. So yeah, you really sound like you quit. How you cared about how you looked? So they're like, okay, one, I'm three, pretty mess. One, two, three, pretty mess, honey. Isn't it funny how Mikey always looks like he just had a popsicle?

And I'm not even trying to make an any window funny how Mikey always looks like he just had a popsicle And I'm not even trying to make an any window there It always looks like he just had some sort of cherry popsicle, right? Does that just mean it's Cherry popsicle His mouth is always sort of like red red like it's like hold on. Let me just I'm just finishing some Italian ice Okay, okay. I'm ready for the press circle now Little tinted gloss there. Yeah, I've been thinking Little tinted gloss there. Yeah. I've been thinking about tinted gloss, mostly because I found a really good watermelon flavored one

and I love the flavor, but I'm essentially eating, I'm essentially eating the gloss because like I put it on my lips and then I just keep licking my lips and I'm kind of chewing my lips. And then before you know it, I've got like little bite marks in my lips and I'm just like putting on, it gets addictive, you know? I don't think that's for people with eating ish.

Is that why is is that why it's it's so red? Is that why Mike's mouth is so red? I mean I haven't noticed it but I'm assuming that you're saying if it's always red it's probably I would guess like a lipstick or a tinted lip gloss or something. Yeah that actually I'm hungry for tinted lip gloss now sounds delicious. You know I have my lip gloss. I'm gonna open up a tinted lip gloss sandwich shop. We don't use mayonnaise, we just use tinted lip gloss. Something about her gloss.

Something about her gloss. I'm gonna be rich as fuck. Okay, so Erica comes out to do her show. Well first, Kyle gives a speech and it's, you know. It's weird. Camille was here? Yeah, Camille was there. Camille made a whole entrance with her daughter

and Kyle goes, hi everyone. Oh my gosh, welcome. Look at this sea of gorgeous people. Oh hi Camille, we haven't said hi yet. Yeah, I just want to announce to everyone that you're so low on my priorities right now that I'm not even gonna say hello to you person to person. I'm just gonna wait till I'm on a stage and you're not.

Which is quite frequent since I'm often performing as a working actress. Anyway, hi Camille. Good to see you. Well, welcome to our white party. We need a little entertainment, so I brought one of my good friends, the talented, the amazing, the fantastic. Watch your purses, ladies. It's Erica Chang. So then, Eric, so this is, I'm curious how they stage this, cause Erica had to come out from like a tunnel. So you have to see her walking across. And then she gets into this like little boxing, they rotate the box, it's like a reveal.

There's Erica Jane, but we also would just walk, watched her walk across the field. It's sort of a strange, logistical thing. So she does it and she's like, my pussy's like a python. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-op bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b Oh, yeah, what's in your pussy? What is in there after all these years? We have not found out what is in her pussy. You cannot just be walking around with the ticking time bomb of a pussy What's in there? I need to know literally the plot of saw once again I was to get this

Get this path on pussy out of me You also know I can only do one lyric at a time. In the history of Watch For Crap and Savva, I've ever been able to recite more than one lyric from a song before I have to go to the, that, that, that, that does. No, I just don't have the ability to remember lyrics. No, but you can remember specific Camille utterances for years on end.

Yeah, but that's because like Camille doesn't have to. I feel like you should be able to grasp a lyric. That's because the only thing she has to say is, so upsetting. Yeah, it's upsetting, right? My post is like a python. Python. Stick-ticking like a time bomb.

Bomb and this. So. Just for old time six. Six. Expensive to be me. Lyrics. I have to go over these lyrics okay by the way while you go with it while you find those lyrics I will say you know who I saw at

the party who just was at the car and Michelle was there what a lovely lady that was Michelle she's a good girl you I really liked her I like so my kid is like a python tick-ticking like a time bomb limited edition gotta buy it with no try on I've heard just like a lion knock him out like Tyson. Everybody knows that I'm a million dollar diamond I Love a good duet. I Was beautiful. That was like the Tony Bennett duets album. Okay, so

Kyle gives her speech. Okay, so Erica performs. Okay So then Erica's like if it's not if it does not go right to not my God, the bulls, the momentum, it all comes to a screeching halt. The pressure's on. I'm like, okay, you're not at the Grammys. Yeah. So you're, you know, she's, she's just full force with the delusion. And I think that that's how it works the best.

You really can't go half-assed with delusion. And I think the whole cast has really, really grasped that this year and they're going for it, setting with her like, I'm an independent working woman. He just worked my way up from nothing. Like her storyline, you've got the Erika pretending she's at the Grammys, you know, you've got Kyle calling paparazzi on herself pretending she's Julia Roberts. I mean, it's hilarious. I mean, that being said, I mean, put aside everything we just learned from Housewife on the Hustler too,

I think this is Erica's best season without a doubt. Like this is the first season, I think I've ever really enjoyed it when she came on screen. Like I thought she was funny and she leaned into the villain thing in a way that I like. So you know what? She's allowed to have a little song and dance

in the context of this show in my mind. That's so fast stadiums suck, Matt Ginger Rogers. I did it. Fuck you, Taylor Swift. This is the Erica show now. So then we go to the end of the season, stuff everybody's talking, you know, they're into the season lines and Doree talks about Her she's learned that she has to deal with PK a lot more their relationship sucks and I've got to figure out what's going

Yeah, and oh god, I just lost one of my soundproof tiles just flew at my head so upsetting so PK came home from London after 39 days, but the real distance remains between Derrick and Kyle who haven't spoken since December ladies and gentlemen Berlin just one last time Yeah, so Kyle's done with Derrick. I mean they were really only friends to take down Vanderpump anyway. I'm surprised it lasted this long. And then, um, let's see what else. Anne-Marie and Crystal. So we get Anne-Marie. She's like, looking back, I think that I need to understand that

not everybody's going to get along on the same level. I'm like, I need to be okay with that. Like some people just aren't going to be okay with me being a doctor. be okay with that. Like some people just aren't gonna be okay with me being a doctor. And then Crystal is accepting that her brother Jeff lives part-time in Thailand and has a new girlfriend and Crystal is finally admitted to Rob that he was right. And by the way, then they show this like scene of like Crystal with her mom. This is clearly like a big emotional scene that was cut out. Her mom was like crying at the dinner table about Jeff moving away and like this like mom it's okay you did a great job

raising us you did a great job I was like this I mean I think it probably would have been a really boring scene to watch but they just did kind of do crystal dirty because I got like longed they probably they just like didn't even give like her story they didn't give her story they just like you know that she was telling people all her friends like you guys't give her story. They just like, you know that she was telling people all her friends like, you guys, I know my story seems lame, but there's like a really powerful scene coming up with my mom, just wait, just wait.

And that's just like five seconds worth at the end of the show. Oh no, I ground in that, even in that scene, even in the blue, because you know, when they put those scenes in the blue, they're like, this scene wasn't previously in a scene that was cut because it was not interesting enough, which is why we put it in blue. And then it's the brother and he's like guys

I just wanted to say just because I need to move away to have my own life doesn't mean I don't love you I was like you're 50 just fucking go Go to Bangkok so I can't Garcel is you know, that's the usual stuff with Garcelle. I mean, there's literally always the same stuff. I'm getting my kitchen redone and I'm a mother. And I won an award, she did win an award for Black Girl Missing.

And then we see Sutton falling off the dance floor. She goes, oh, well, I did not see the stage right there. I mean, maybe that stage should be working instead of sitting at home in the movie eating bonbons like a typical rich sage would be. I'd pick me up. She's like, when I first found out Christian was moving to London, that's when I said people deserve unaffordable, crazy close to where to

parties they'd never be invited to. And that's when I started Sutton Store which has since grown into a huge conglomerate that is in one tiny little city in one tiny little place that is completely paid for by all of the things that I don't sell. Thank you. Leaflets. We got leaflets now. I went to a place that called Staples or stop less not really sure how it's pronounced and Off it printed out leaflets and put them in mailboxes and on two lock radius. We are expanding It's time for a commercial it's time for a crappins commercial From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.

And I'm Consciously. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February Black History Mom. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries, Myhalla Harald, a brilliant scholarship student who

has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make the list. Bishop Gray is all coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will,

she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Okay, and who else's do we have? I think that's mostly what we have. But then after they take their group photo, we see one month later, and we get kind of

the opening. Everybody's doing their thing around town. And do they start? I thought they start. I remember them starting with Garcelle. So first one I remember where Garcelle's like, They look at me unpacking things. I might possibly redo my kitchen and I'm a mother. Blip, blip, blip. Hold on. Something's blooping in my pocket.

I must look at it immediately. Call it Richards. Yes. And the date on this is July 23rd, but this news broke on July 3rd. So the fact that they're all acting surprised, it's been 20 days already of this. What? What? So yeah, Kyle Richards and Marisa Umanski have separated after 27 years of the best marriage known in humanity. And so then there's all these tweets, including one from our dear friend, Michelle Collins. Congrats, Michelle. You made it into the tweet stack that they put on screen.

Tweets about the cheating rumors. What did her tweet say? Do you remember? I don't remember. You can't introduce me to a Michelle Collins tweet and not tell me what it is so I can laugh aboriously. I mean, I, I, I'll put it on. No, don't look at it. I don't look at that. It's gonna take too long. No, no, no, you put me on the spot and I can laugh aboriously. I mean, I, I'll put it on. No, don't look it up.

Don't look at that. What's going to take too long? No, no, no, you put me on the spot and now I'm a bad friend. Now I'm a bad friend. No, you're not a bad friend. It was a long time ago. Come on, darling. Let it go.

We're going to look up. I've put the name Ben on the dance floor. Here it is. It says, Michelle's column tweet is, sounds like Kyle saved a new contact under Love Bean. There we go. Oh, there you go. Oh, that's a good one.

It was working up. I dreamt one day. As long as it's not a Love Bean shaped pool, am I right, Ben? Christian Snow also got his tweet up there, so good for Christian Snow. I hope that someday one of my pithy tweets makes it onto the screen as well,

but we'll just have to wait and see. Oh, Ben, I hope it for you. Some day. I'm praying for you. I mean, I don't know, I mean, I guess I should just be happy with what I've got, which is a sweeter Peter Madrigal at the stop sign, waving me to go forward.

You just won a Peter today, let's not complain. I won at the stop sign, waving me to go forward. Yeah. You just want to Peter today. Let's not complain to the Lord today. I want to Peter. Okay, let's take a moment. Yeah. So, uh, Crystal in a scene that made her and, uh, Rob's place on this show steadfast, I hope, because this was amazing and I need more of this in my life.

She's like, oh my God, an article came out today, Rob. Kyle Richards and Mauricio Mavky have separated after 27 years of marriage and he goes, oh my God, it's in people? Well, who leaked that? Who posted that? Okay, you want conjecture? Morgan told people that they were separated. I was like, yes, messy Rob. Okay, this is what I think happened. Okay, Morgan, she's upset. She just had a fight with her mom. Her mom says, you're not doing anything with your life. She says, well, okay, well, you want to see what I'm doing with my wife? I'm banging a very wealthy person who's on TV. She calls up people magazine. People magazine doesn't believe her. So she secretly records someone and then she plays circle of life.

Well, she and Kyler are doing it on the kitchen floor. Rob, you are now way into director mode. This is not happening, Rob. He's like, okay, this is what happened. So Morgan is new on the scene right? So Kyle thought that people were gonna murder her because she's so popular so that she'd like kind of hit her away. But then everything got out of control. She didn't get to become the king. Rob you've made that movie twice. Okay okay okay here's what happens. Okay so Kyle, dissatisfied, leaves Mauricio, goes away for about 10 years or so, comes back. Now she's a teenager. She has two friends who say, just hang out, don't be wild.

But now she wants to come over and take over the agency. That's just the same version of what you literally just told me two seconds ago. Okay, okay, here's what it is. So Morgan is a hooker and then Kyle got the hooker and then on the anniversary they called Berlin, wait a minute, why are you calling me into this? Denise was the one not wearing white at the party.

Okay, Kyle, okay, get this, get this, get this. Kyle is on a family trip on a boat. She goes overboard and she sees Morgan Wade underwater. Years later, they reunite. Morgan Wade was a mermaid. Now she's on land. Now she's in lobster through the shell, but then they find out about her.

She has to go back to the ocean. I think you're just doing splash now. I think so, yeah. Can you imagine opening your trunk and Morgan wades in there? She's like, ha, sorry, I was just having that in your trunk. I hope that's okay. You like shrimp?

I like shrimp. Okay, so then we go to Ann Marie's house and Ann Marie's like, oh my God, the People Magazine exclusive, did that come from Kyle? That's nuts. It's like a way to maybe get ahead of what everyone else was saying about Kyle. Like, that's crazy.

Yes, it came from Kyle. Of course. Amory may be the most annoying one here, but she knows how this works already. Of course it was Kyle. Rob, of course. I can't believe you thought it was Morgan. It was Kyle, it was 100% Kyle.

And so, Sun and Garcella are FaceTiming and Sutton's like, this did not happen overnight. Yes, I know, like a marriage poll and you're like, no, not Kyle, I'm talking about the success of Sutton. This was an important business for all of America. Well, did you hear that column, Maricio broke up? Oh, well, sure, fine. We want to talk about that, that's fine too.

You know what I should have called my store?, you know people people say what's your store? I say cause Sutton watch your name it there cuz I'm sitting and you know, but we're people that's stupid You know what? I should have named it canary in a coal mine cuz I told you about this shit months ago. Nobody believed me I mean we got tattoos we got exercising we got drinking, we got missing a wedding band, we got just sort of just being more generally annoying than usual. I mean she was definitely cheating. Yep, and so they're like she was she goes this was sus. She's like who was sus? She goes which part? She goes the whole thing and Garcelle's like holy shit. Sut knows what sus is. So then one day later, Kyle's online message.

She released a statement and she's like, in regards to news about music came out to us today, nothing's true, nothing's happened in my marriage. And we're just going through stuff, but like nothing happened, nobody did anything, okay? So please stop saying that I've broken the internet because we're having a very private moment right now. And the last thing I want to happen is to be known

as the woman who broke the internet in 2023 for divorcing. One of the saddest crumblings of a relationship we've seen in all of this year. Please, please stop saying that. I'm just trying to have a private moment. Hashtag Scandokyle. So then she is talking about how when the people magazine, sorry,

Kyle goes, she tells us when the people magazine article came out, I was with Mo and the girls and all of our phones just started blowing up. And Mo was just like really focused on who gave the story, and I was more focused on how's it affecting all of us. So of course, Kyle the hero. Yes. Mauricio only cared about the publicity,

whereas Kyle cared about the children. Kyle only does it for the children. Classic Mauricio, he thinks the party's in the parking lot and cares about the publicity. God, he's so checked out. Exactly. So she's like, I mean, like, it just felt like my whole life was over in that moment.

You know. So Erica comes over to comfort Kyle because Kyle forced Erica to do it on camera with her last season. So Erica's like, I guess I could return the favor. And now let's watch Erica try to turn this whole thing into her own story.

So she sits down and she's like, I know what it's like, Kyle. I was once with a man who couldn't make it to the bathroom without tripping over his nuts too, Kyle. I know what it's like exactly the same thing You know what and by the way first off I want to say one thing because now this is what Erica So since Erica doesn't actually know what empathy is as she explained earlier in the season And this is her biggest test of trying to show empathy

When Erica tries to show empathy she does this thing where she speaks in short clipped words. First of all, I would like to say one thing. I feel like I kind of almost semi-need to acknowledge and apologize for the fact that I have not been the most observant friend. Because at the dinner table, I literally did not know that there were issues with you and Mauricio. And for that, if I did anything, if I was not a tentative in any sort of way, then I apologize for that if I did anything if I was not a tentative in any sort of way then I apologize for that She does get like that she does when she gets really mad she gets like that too. I love it She films a dot matrix printer She films a Dot Matrix printer. If there's something that I missed or something I have not been the most-

Did I am very sorry about that. So Kyle's like, there wasn't anything to do because like, I mean, we've been like dealing with things privately. So I mean, I just like, look, I guess I just feel bad and like, you know, talking about all this stuff. Because I mean, like, I just think the hardest part of what we're going through is that there's not just like one huge thing, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, it's not just one huge thing, you can't just point to one thing and say that's it, therefore there is, and thus I made my decision. Kyle, but you know what? Kinda feel like a bad guy.

You know you gotta feel like a bad guy, don't you, Kyle? Just like I did when Tom Tender Man had done all those things to the heat. It's just like there are all these things that I've been needing and wanting from my marriage that I just can't get since that article came out. You know, I think it all started when I got rid of my bangs. And now it's like I'm seeing,

oh, obviously it's because Mo cheated or now it's like I cheated. Or like, oh oh like everyone's saying Mauricio should have known the party was in the stadium not the parking lot like it's crazy And what is the truth with the cheating the cheating rumors? And she's like, um, there's literally nothing to do with anybody else. I mean, it's nothing to do with anybody else I just don't want anybody thinking Mo cheated on me because Mo absolutely did not cheat on me I'm like wow, you're gonna just like, what's the big... I get that there's pride involved here,

but this is Kyle and Kyle cannot be such a fucking hypocrite. Like is she really this hypocritical after all these years of just own it and forcing everybody to do everything on camera, especially with Erica last year. She was forcing Erica to do this shit all year. Come on. Yeah, and it's like, I find it, I feel like with normal people, I would never pry into like what went wrong. But with a reality star who's willing to put her daughters on camera and like have a very, as we'll soon see,

a very intense and emotional scene with the daughters and then have cameras in their faces and then all of a sudden say like, no, this is a private thing, I don't wanna talk about it. I just, I'm like, well, what is the line between public and private for Kyle? I just don't understand it. Right, like it's-

She gives me enough that I feel like I'm like, okay, now I'm gonna find out the real truth about what happens, but then she withholds at the last second every single time. Well, she's also a throw a rock and hide your hand kind of person. So I think a lot of it is that she wants to insinuate things so that people make it a lot worse in our heads than it really is. You know what I mean? Because I heard from our old queen in a bar, what it was was that she, and we heard this on the show later. This is not like, you know, brand new information But I heard it was because she found DMs like he had been been DMing like some hot Instagram thoughts or whatever

And so that's kind of what started the spiral But by not saying that if she said that it would maybe sound too like well It wasn't an actual affair if it was just texting, you know People could jump to that which to me it still is an affair by the way in case anybody's wondering. But other people could say, well that's not technically an affair, but if she says like, well, things happened that make me lose trust, then we're left to be like, oh, okay. So he cheated with 19 women, you know, right, probably his daughter's age. And you know, she lets it. She just like puts enough out there to let it marinate and let people go fucking crazy with it.

Right. And and yet, I mean, when you think about it, in Erica's defense, in many ways, like Kyle's like, be open and honest. Like she's part of this group at one point, at least superficially. That's like, you have to say what happened, which could imparel Erica's legal case. So she is, Kyle has not been above trying to pry out personal information from people to put on TV. So that's why I guess I don't feel as bad about being like super nosy and saying, well,

what the fuck happened? Tell us. Now, I know in real life, you there's children that are involved and their lives are impacted. So I know why you don't want to be messy, but it's just it's frustrating because she goes there with other people, but when it comes to her, she doesn't do it. Right. Well, and also she is the way that they leverage it for publicity for themselves. It's really gross because, you know, you had the whole Scandinavian thing breaking. So then she picked up cameras after that happened to try and like do the competition

with Scandinavian to make this all happen. She's calling the paparazzi on herself and then she's refusing to talk about it, the whole show. But then the preview for Mauricio's show just came on for Netflix. By the way, Bravo must be furious because Mauricio's show, they talk all about it. The whole preview is him sitting with the girls and girls are crying and he talks about the whole thing. So it's like this whole season was just teeing up

that show that nobody watched. So they're obviously doing it to drum up publicity for both shows. And it's just gross. It's just fucking gross. Like you can't really feel for somebody when they're leveraging, you know, they're still living together

and they're just completely leveraging the storyline for their own shows. It's gross. And I'm still not gonna watch your stupid Netflix show. It was a piece of shit. I watched 30 minutes of it and it was terrible. And I love terrible shows. Unwatchable.

Yeah, I mean, I believe it's a, I believe this is a real, a true, you know, crumbling of a marriage. And I don't think you're doubting that the marriage is falling apart either. But yeah, there's something you're just like, I don't know, Kyle. I'm kind of doubting it.

You are? You think that they're- I'm doubting, I don't think that they're faking it. Like they're really in love and they're just faking this whole thing. But I think they've probably been grown apart for a long time and they're making it a huge drama to get ratings. I think they're probably just fucking bored with each other and they maybe they've been sleeping around or doing whatever or having arrangement or whatever they have

But I think they're just like how do we leverage this for our shows? You know Yeah, I mean I will say that there is there are a lot of complicated factors going on Which is why I think I want to know more information because you have the factors that deal with like she has her old fucked up family, you know, her dynamics with her sisters and the pressures they put on each other and, you know, and he has a complicated relationship with her family. So that's, there's that there's issues with Morgan Way, there's rumors about DMs, there's you know, the like what has she been going through and what sort of support did she receive after you know, her friend died, you know, so there's is she been going through and what sort of support did she receive after,

you know, her friend died, you know, so there's like so many things going on and, and again, in real life, none of us are entitled to know what really happened because that's between them and that's their relationship and their kids involved. But it's TV and I'm like, I don't know, like I just wanna know. I don't know, like I just want to know.

I don't know, she's the messiest one with everybody else. So yeah, we are entitled to know. Cause it's TV. Exactly, she's messy. Not that I really give a fuck, but I just mean for the sake of the TV show, you don't get to just be vague the whole time after you're misopen and honest.

You waste everybody's season with your vague bullshit and then you try and do this Morgan Wade stuff on the side. It's just like, while she's trying to sell her and work as her manager, it's just too gross. It's just too gr... She's just waiting for the one-on-one. It's just too slimy to feel anything. Like, I can't feel empathy for somebody who seems to just be a plastic person with no

feelings, you know? It's gross. It just seems all made up to me. There will be a one-on-one with Andy Cohen, I'm sure. Oh, sure. So anyway, Kyle's saying... She'll find to get her revenge on Kim for getting her one-on-one, right?

So Kim, let's talk about you stealing all that stuff from a Target store, Kim's like. Oh, I was really stealing it. I was just taking it to my car and shopping cart before I paid for an handy. So Kyle's saying that Mauricio is the type of person that likes to pretend everything in life is okay, which makes it really hard for her sometimes. And Erica's like, yeah, all the time.

Like everything's fine. Don't worry about it. It's going to be great. That's what I was told if you want to, I don't know, talk about my marriage crumbling because I feel like I didn't really get to talk about that enough. It's like, no, no, it's my scene. You know, when we first met, you know, like we were really oppos opposites like complete opposites and that worked right you know like I would always joke and say if it wasn't for me

He would be dead because I keep him safe and important for him You know I would never take chances in life and if it weren't for me I also like wouldn't be in Halloween, but you know that's raw talent that has nothing to do with him Just want to remind everyone So they just you know kind of go back and forth on this. She's like, you know, my marriage used to be admirable and we've been together for so long and I'm just not proud of it right now.

And she's like, why? Because you're a human, because you have talent, because you want to sing for wings. And Kyle's like, no, because I've just let down so many people. I mean, it's let down for me, for him, for the kids, for people I don't even know. I mean, it's for the audience, it's for the fans.

I'm letting down the fans. Complete strangers come up to me and say, we looked up to you guys. You made us believe in true love. Can I have your autograph? You were so wonderful in ER. Complete strangers all day. So she's like there's only two people in this marriage and everyone else can fuck off.

How about that? You gotta make yourself happy. You've raised these girls. You've been a good wife to this man. You're a great sister. You're a great daughter. Hell, they had your name on SoFi Stadium the other day. And my gig. You do so many things so well with the exception of cooking salmon and going through your mail. You are a champion. I don't, but what, what if we can't work it out? One week later, family meeting.

So, Colin Murray's here in the kitchen, and he has this, he has this like fake smile on his face, like, yeah, everything is totally fine. Everything is fine. Like this is not awkward at all. Hey, what are you doing? Are you making tea? Ha ha, natural banter between us.

Am I the only one who's like totally fine with acting like everything's okay? Isn't that what you do? What am I supposed to do? Come in crying every day? So that's how I live my life. We're gonna be fine, everything's not what you do. What am I supposed to do? Come in crying every day? So that's how I live my life. We're gonna be fine, everything's great. So she's like, eating candy, where are you going?

And he's like, we're opening a new office in Panama. And she goes, yeah, and I guess you have to show your face. He's like, yeah. So now. You'll know you get there when you have to squint your eyes because the light coming off of my teeth is so bright. Things have been a lot more uncomfortable with Mo and me ever since the article came out. I think because it just made it so much more real and it trended so high on Twitter.

Thank you, thank you. I feel like my kids have basically lived a fairy tale with many dogs in it. And then I felt like this article came out. And they thought that the rug and the neon sign had been pulled out from underneath them because things are worse than we let on to be. And I just felt so bad to let them down because we really did have an amazing marriage for so long. He's like, well, at least it's you, you know, that they're saying is cheating. And she goes, yeah, for once it's me. And he just gives us look like what? Like hurt? He gets that Mauricio look that he's given in every scene this season where he shows up like, hey, love me.

And then by the end he's like, why is she torturing me like this? Does she not like me anymore? He's always surprised when he catches a stray from her, but it's not really a stray. It's just a full-on Cannonball. Oh, oh, I wasn't expecting that. Oh man so they sit the girls down in the living room and give them the talk and

She's like, well, I just wanted to talk about you know all the stuff that's come back out You know my projects basically so if anyone has any questions, no, you cannot meet Jamie Lee Curtis. It's not because she's not a nice person. She's literally busy, still working, so. I know it's been a tough time. We all, I know you had to find out the news the hard way in Variety to find out that my project about loungewear was unfortunately not moving forward at Peacock, but we're gonna get through it together guys. We'll get through it

together. So I mean the most important thing is that we all work together and your mother refuses to come to the office or any parties in Brazil or Portugal rather so fuck her and I win automatically right right? Okay, good. You all can keep your jobs. Yeah, we just wanna have a very open conversation about how painful it can be when your husband does not remember that a party is on a field and not in a parking lot. So if there's anyone wants to talk about it.

Okay, okay, okay, that's enough. Listen girls, I would like to welcome you to this parking lot to have this conversation. Dad, this is your office Oh, right. You see I get it confused. I think things are parking lots Why yeah, listen, I know you guys were blindsided Sort of like how Kyle claims she was blindsided when she came into my office one day and saw that I'd put little mini Basketballs on top of candlesticks by the fireplace and said what the fuck was that?

put little mini basketballs on top of candlesticks by the fireplace and said what the fuck was that? Speaking of, do you remember the time your mom saw Sandra Bullock in first class and then came home and tried to adopt a football player? That shit was hilarious. So speaking of blindsided, I brought some shades for you all since we will be addressing your father and you have to see his teeth. Okay, okay. Sandra Bullock aside. I just wanted to make sure we're open and honest with you guys. She goes, yeah guys, and Mike, we haven't even talked about divorce. Okay. So Mike, obviously we're no strangers to rumors in this family. Okay. But are they rumors? You can't even play this game with your own kids. You can't do that to your own kids. She's like, guys, you're going to have to tune in in two weeks to find out what happens on Netflix.

So Sophia's like, well, yeah, there's always been rumors that they always seem to come out of nowhere, but this time you guys have been having a hard year. So it was sort of hit different. And then Alexia is like, well, maybe this isn't a good opportunity to ask you guys, like, but what do you guys plan to do in terms of your relationship?

Like what happens now? And Kyle's like, well, the fact is we are so busy and we are working. I am pitching a TV show to TV land about what it was like to own a store for two years. And so that's going to take up a lot of my time. So we're going to work through, you know, we have a little space while we work through stuff and they're like, so you're going to take more space. And so if he is like, yeah, you need more space to work through it. And she's like, well, we're doing this. We're going to live under the same roof.

And right. And he's like, no, no, no, necessarily. I mean, she's like, um, that was not what we practiced. So well, I guess what I was trying to say is, well, what I meant by that is, uh, uh, how does Camille do it? Maricio? Okay. I'll start it off. What a, well, your mother and I, we are, we're working. Sometimes I'll be in the house and then she'll be in the house. Yeah. I'll be there.

I'll be crossing my new teeth. I'm opening up an office in Panama. Angola. Bhutan. Also Maine. Uh-huh. That's a place. That's a city. That's a city that I'm gonna maybe stay. It's actually a state. I'm actually buying all of Maine. So Maine is turning into just one big office for the agency. Yeah. So she's kind of trying to stutter through this, but also not telling them anything.

Like, why are you gonna sit them down and have a talk with them and not tell them? Are you guys separating? Are you getting a divorce? You can't do this to them. These are your kids. Tell them. So Mauricio's like, oh, Porsche, what's wrong?

Come here. And kind of like, no, I will go to her because she likes me better. So she goes over and takes care of Porsche, who's crying, which is super sad, you know? I mean, this is such an intense conversation to have. And it's like, I kind of felt awkward in certain ways. I feel like I should not have been watching. It isn't funny. I'm like, I kind of, I felt awkward in certain ways. I feel like I should not have been watching. It's isn't a funny, I'm like, I want to know all the answers,

but I also feel like something like this, I don't know. I feel like this is probably a very painful thing. And now it's like, there for Portia to see when Bravo runs their marathons for the next 10 years, you know, so I don't know. But I felt really terrible for, especially Portia, because she's the youngest. I feel bad for, you know, I years, you know, so I don't know. But I felt really terrible for, especially Portia, cause she's the youngest. I feel bad for, you know, I feel, you know,

you always feel bad for the kids and stuff. So, um, so she's crying and Kyle's like, um, you know, we're not broken. We're just bent very, very, very bent, but we're a strong family and we always will be. And so she tells the producers, like I'm finally realizing there's a chance that we might not end up together. And the producer finally says, what is this issue that you cannot let go of? And she says, there were things that happened that made me lose my

trust. I wasn't able to recover from. So her last line is insinuating that he was in fact cheating, which she still made everybody wait for the whole year and didn't just fucking say, if he's cheating or not cheating. God damn it. It actually could mean a multitude of things. It actually doesn't even have to mean cheating, but it's very big.

You don't think that she purposely said that to mean cheating? I mean, what else would it insinuate? Right. Well, I think I agree. Like, because it could be something like, he wasn't there for me when I needed him the most because he was too busy doing this or that and But by phrasing it that way it definitely makes it sound like he cheated for sure right so we'll see I mean

I don't know but it is kind of annoying that we have to supposedly watch this Netflix show to find out Which I will not be doing so good luck to you Also, we see some clips from the, oh, we see moments of Kyle and Mauricio's love putting that lock on the bridge of Paris, which I think ended up crumbling the bridge, right? Didn't the bridge crumble next year? I think they had to take that fence down,

or maybe put a new one or something like that. It was too heavy. It was a bad time. It was a Kyle lock. Kyle. So yeah, we saw flashbacks It was a kind of luck. Kyle. So yeah, so we saw like flashbacks through the years of them loving each other. And you really do see how strained

the relationship that was this year. I mean, we noticed it all season long, but looking at these flashbacks, you saw how much levity they had and how happy they genuinely seem to be to see each other and be around each other. And this season it really was so awkward and it wasn't just editing, it wasn't just musical cues.

It was actually pretty tough to watch this awkwardness between them. But I guess we'll find out what happens. They're gonna, you know, like obviously they also mentioned on this that Kyle and Kathy reconciled in time for Whitney's wedding, that's Kim's daughter. And then they show headlines of Mauricio skiing with Anita. And so from there.

He's just in a towel and the snow. Ooh. Ooh. So then Kyle's like, I just wanna be at peace. Am I done? And they're like, you're finally done, Kyle. Your watch is over. And she's like, ah, and she starts crying.

So that's the end of that. We still have a month of reunions. So we'll be here reuniting it up for the next. And I love, by the way, I mean, this is like the Kyle season. Then they bring Kathy in for the reunion. And all people care about again is Kathy. It's like up, upstaged again. Upstaged again.

All right, well. So there you go, everybody. The reunion looks pretty fine. Dorita's dressed crazily. Dorita's doing a look and Sutton is having some sort of attack. Sutton's like trembling, making noises in the corner and he's like, she's really, really quivering.

Oh wow. So we'll see what happens there. It'll be fascinating. And I love the set by the way. The set looks great. So anyway, thank you all so much for being here. We still have Real Housewives of Miami and we have Summer House coming your way.

So our week continues to forage on. Be sure to get tickets to whatever shows you want to go to. Hopefully all of them be us, the superest of the super fans. WatchWareCrapins.com for all that. And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch where Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no bologna. Strollin' the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-us. She's never scary, it's the Green Fairy. Jamie, she has no last namey.

Hava-Negila Weber, know your worth with Jason Kurtz. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg.

You can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches. Betches. And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper!

Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall! She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch! She's a little bit loony! Junie. My favorite murder, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podge-Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.

We wanna hang with Liz Lang. The incredible Edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She's quite the catch, it's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla plane She's quite the catch. It's Victoria Kachit. She ain't no shrinking violet kutar We love you guys Hey prime members you can listen to watch or crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today

you can listen to watch or crap and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondery plus in Apple podcast before you go. Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.