Watch What Crappens - #2334 Summer House: This Season Is Already Bananas

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

It’s the season premiere of Summer House (S08E01)!  Sam and Chris are gone, West and Jesse are in, and Kyle now has a big banana named Mon.  But some things never change: Kyle and Amanda are still miserable, Lindsay are Carl are still pretending to be happy, and Ciara still loves a tall king.  Oh, and Craig bought a horse.  This is a lot. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously, but hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watchra Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today for the season premiere of Summer House season eight, Mr. Ronnie Karam.

Hi Ronnie. Hi, how are you? I'm feeling great, feeling great. A lot of things to be grateful for. One is that we have some shows coming up. We've got shows in London and Birmingham and Dublin. That Dublin was just announced earlier this week. So be sure to, they actually just went on sale, the public on sale just happened.

So go get your tickets, watchcrappits.com. Come join us in Europe. We're so excited for that. But also Netflix is a joke, big comedy festival here in Los Angeles, and we are very grateful that we are part of it. We're gonna be at our friend Katie Kizorla's lounge, the Cucaburra Lounge.

So be sure to buy tickets for that too. All the tickets, just go to our link tree and things like that. Can't wait to see you all there. But anyway, also Patreon, patreon.com. Slash watch for crappins. You can watch us, not just listen. Crappins on demand.

And our bonus this week was the Southern hospitality season finale. Had a lot of fun with that. So if you're wondering where those recaps are, check out our bonus episode. But Summer House, big Summer House premiere, Ronnie thoughts, feelings, emotions. Summer house and is back in that the house in.

I think I did myself a disservice watching Winter House because I'm like, how much can how much of this can I take? Which I know it's not the same thing, but it is a lot of people lying around not doing much. Now that said, I always love Summer House. I think they did a great job with bringing some fresh blood in and they actually seem to be people with a pulse, which is new for this show. I mean, bringing on two new men with a pulse is huge.

That's huge news in the Summer House world. Yeah, I actually agree. I felt like this was a super strong premiere. I felt like there was a really good house chemistry going on. I mean, we've had to suffer through some real duds recently. We had Chris, we had Alex. I know people sort of have a place in their heart for Alex, but let's be honest, Alex is a little meh.

I mean, what's his face was good? Our, you know, Alexie, you know, he was good. But yes, the point is this, I thought there was a really good vibe. I felt like this was a really good premiere and I agree with you about Winter House because I famously kind of trailed off of Winter House and I think that Winter House has actually affected

the Summer House brand because Winter House is so bad, but Summer House is significantly better than Winter House. And I was reminded about that today watching this premiere. Well, they're also bringing Summer House Martha's Vineyard back in a couple of weeks or in a month, I guess, uh, which is, I don't need to. So you guys can't do this to us. Okay. Yeah.

You can't make it like below deck five nights a week Then you're okay. Now. It's just gonna be summer house We're gonna go straight from winter house into summer to summer houses It's not smart to do that spread it out guys. We don't need I agree 90 fucking thousand people sitting around in a house Okay, especially although summer house Martha's vineyard. I think is the superior show Yeah, so I'm actually more excited for that when we come back. I think Summer House Martha's Vineyard is actually a great show, but maybe they're thinking is that this Summer House season is going to be a really strong one,

which maybe might help other Summer House. I don't know, but I agree. One Summer House at a time. Okay. But yeah, I like it. It's no shade to the other one because the other one is really excellent, but. So we have this Scandival ripoff, which is how we begin all shows on Bravo Now, where we try to make them like Scandival, where there is a huge drama that they open the season with this huge drama,

and then we were wide and have to watch the whole season leading up to this drama. Very sunset boulevard like opening with the guy dead in the pool and then you have to see why is he dead? Who is he? Why is he in a pool? Yes, except in this case, the dead body is this relationship and the pool is just like a whole bunch of stuff ordered on Zazzle. is just like a whole bunch of stuff ordered on Zazzle. Loverboy. Loverboy and Zazzle bridegroom chachkies for their various things. So we did an hour long recap of this segment of the show

on our Below Deck preview, which you can watch on our Patreon. But basically this is like Carla and Lindsay's couple talk and she's saying, um, what do you want from me? And he's saying, I just, uh, I want you to trust me. I'm waiting to be happy and you need to have power over the other person. Lindsay, that's the problem with you.

I'm just like, I need power. Sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, turn off the TV, turn off the TV. Oh, it's delicious. I love Carl coming to this realization about Lindsay. Well, when we've all known this about her for the past several years, like eight seasons on the show, and he's only figuring it out now. Like, I don't know. I don't know if I can feel bad for Carl on this one.

Oh yeah. Lindsay's controlling. I'm shocked. Okay. Lindsay needs to have power, but you need someone really strong and domineering so that you can blame them for all your faults later. Exactly, exactly.

Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. So we see a little glimpse of where this shit show is gonna be heading. And then now two months earlier, we're in New York, Trixie Mattel, I'm not Trixie Mattel, although that would be funny if it was Trixie Mattel, Trixie Monocle is like, show me how you're doing. Show me, show me how you're doing. And we just use the CRN page on a sidewalk.

I'm like, well, that's how they're doing. They are standing on the sidewalk. So that's, there's the answer to your question. Did you get to the Carl and Lindsay broke up part? Did you say that? I said we were going two months earlier from when they, I mean, I was like, I thought that's what we were talking about was the they broke off the wedding.

Yes. Yeah. They broke it off and she's like, dad, he told me he wants to bring off the wedding. Well, she's going to tell everyone she's blindsided. Dad, I was blindsided. That cracked me up. Can't say he didn't know her. So yes.

And now we're going to find out how this all went down. Well, I can tell you without even seeing how it all went down Lindsay is Lindsay and Carlos Carl. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's what happens and their relationship was just some sort of like aspirational hope that if they bring Their damage together that somehow it will magically negate each other and life will be happily ever after like that This relationship is gonna solve everything and it solved nothing. Right, two broken dishes don't make a China set, okay?

Just makes a lot of broken pieces. More pieces to cut you, okay? So there's more blood in the end. Listen, those two plates are not gonna score a big sum on antique road show. Okay, they're gonna see the glue. That's gonna be shabby. So the girls are waiting for a ride,

and it's the ride, and they're gigantic SUV for the year. It's Danielle. And they're like, oh my God, Danielle, it's a one way. It's like, no shit, I'm Danielle, I don't give a fuck, guys. This is the new Danielle season. This time, I'm not needy desperate Danielle. I'm needy desperate Danielle in an SUV.

And I don't give a fuck about one ways. Classic Danielle thinking that she can forge ahead in a one way relationship. So she picks them up and they get in and Sierra's like, yeah, now we're cooking with, is it grease or is it oil? And Paige is like, I'm cooking with gas. So stupid, what a bad way to start off the season. And Sierra's like, I've never driven the Hamptons

with you Danielle. And she's like, yeah, well I was in Montauk for the weekend last week, which you know, she's been in the Hamptons cause she's saying we can't. And Paige is like, how was that? She goes, wild. It was like hook up central guys, totally believe me. Made out with like five guys, probably being like six guys.

Guys, it's the new Danielle. I'm like totally having fun, right guys? Right? Weren't we parting? Guys, were we parting? Are we parting guys? Got to Danielle chasing every waiter in the restaurant. Why won't you hook up with me?

Hook up with me. For a sad death for Danielle. I was hoping Danielle might take a minute and just come back to this show refresh. Nope, Danielle's still terrifying me. Okay. I'm like the opposite of Sierra. The world is my oyster now.

Everyone's gonna hook up with me, yeah. Okay, now it did. When I say I hooked up last weekend, did I hook up with a cocktail napkin? Perhaps, but a hookup is a hookup, okay? I stuck my tongue in something. So Paige is like, well, when you were in the Hamptons, was he who shall not be named there?

And Danielle would totally name Voldemort anyway, just so he'd show up and she can ask him to party. Party, where are we parting? Are we supposed to be parting? Come on, Voldemort. She's like, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Want to make out? Yeah, want to make out.

She's like, he was there and there was some gas. Like he was there. Okay, and by the way, it turns out he was there with his new girlfriend. And yes, I think there was overlap. In fact, I think there were lies and I think there was gaslighting. And Paige is like, wow, that's strange.

He doesn't really give me cheating vibe. He just gives me Dave from Garfield vibes. So that's really sad. Did Dave from Garfield cheat on the lasagna or no guys, it was totally overlap. When did he break up with her? I feel like summer, right? Wait, last summer he broke up with her during the summer or after it was over?

I think it was, he broke up with her after the last season of Summer House. So he broke up with her after she and Lindsay had her falling out, which was the summer of 2022, in fact. Okay. The timeline's always so weird because it's shot, it's shot last year, it airs this year. It's hard, it's hard.

So they're like, we cursed the day he was born. And she's like, oh my God guys, I'm so excited to party guys, we're gonna party, right? So then, then Sierra's like, by the way, Kyle's gonna pick up a new guy And so then we cut to West Which is one of the new guys and he's on a curb So Kyle and Amanda pick him up poor West talk about talk about freshman hazing He has to ride in a car with Kyle and Amanda all the way the Hamptons for his first time. Wow, that's rough

He's a sports journalist So they're like we have room for your bag, but not for you. That's a mad to humor. Get used to it. So they get in and he gets in and West, um, he was hanging out with Carl and Lindsay a few weeks ago. So they met West through Carl and Lindsay and, but Carl and Lindsay, they're not going to be there this first weekend because they're going down

to DC And Kyle's like he's got swagger. Yeah, he's got like a little mustache like like like like Blink yeah, it's really cool. He's like cool guy. So I really like him sports really cool So have Carl and Lindsay told you about the house dynamics, Kyle. He's like, well Lindsay mentioned that she might not be everyone's favorite in the house. She did say that and Amanda's like, oh my God, and she's seen that, Kyle.

And then we go. I can't believe Amanda's still doing these shows. Amanda looks exhausted. Look at how she's going to start. Amanda walked into Winter House late. She's like, sorry I missed my flight. And then she got into bed. And then she would like come randomly stand in the kitchen and just sway back and forth

going, honey. And then she would go back to bed and then she left. I can't even believe she's still doing this. She had some sort of awful like flu or something, right? Or like she would food poisoning or something that took her out, right? So that, which is so Amanda. So here she is.

And then we got cut over to Carl and Lindsay and we see the neon sign that says Rathaus. And then we see like the cut out of Lindsay and we see the zebra. It's like literally the exact same way last season opened up with the two of them. The big neon sign, rat house. The cardboard cut out that you can hear.

And then the rapport we know and love. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe?

Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe?

Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe?

Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Am I right? Yeah. It's like crazy. Like maybe Ariana gets invited. So I guess like maybe we're like as big as Ariana. It's like, yeah. Well, I mean, she was like in the White House. Like where like the zealots compared to Ariana?

Like, isn't it so cool that we even know her? Like we're like basically Ariana now. It's like so cool. I thought it was so funny that they talk about how impressed they are with how huge Ariana is as they try to ape some Vanderfront rules editing for the season. It's pretty funny. As they head to what we later find out is like a sprawling picnic with like thousands of people on the back lawn.

Yes. Yeah. Basically, no. So, she's like, okay, update've been a carl and I have been planning a wedding and wedding planning is busy to save the lease. I'm getting married. And Carl, God bless Alma, has not been helpful. He is such a guy.

And we just see Carl working out while Lindsay's like talking to vendors. Yeah, like this is not like my wedding, it's our wedding featuring me and the Lindsay Hubbard experience. So like it would be nice to have like a little bit of help. Honey, what are you doing for the wedding? Well, I'm still sober, sir, is that? That's what he does.

That's literally what he does daily. My best friend, Dunya, is like a powerhouse publicist in DC, which is the nation's capital, in case you didn't know, because like Ariana was there. Yeah, we're like zealous compared to her. I just want to say that again. By the way, did you see how like angry Lindsay Space Scott, when he said that we're zealous compared to Ariana?

She's like, um, we are at our level. Don't you ever say we're zealous on camera ever again, Carly T. Um, not only am I giving a dirty look to you, but my cardboard cut out right behind you is giving a dirty look to you. So who are you calling ZLIFT, bitch? It literally is staring at him like that. It's like a haunted house. It's like, yeah, we got it in, but from the White House, I mean, for us to go to the White

House, like Red House at White House, Red House X White House collab. You know what I'm saying? Sussu. And he's like, Law Summer was like, oh wait, first of all, he's like, well, it's definitely bittersweet because like how many summers have we like done fourth of July at the Hamptons? And now we're not going to be at the Hamptons. We're going to be like at the White House. So it's like crazy.

Do you think they're going to miss us? And she's like, gotta be well. Yeah. Like Law Summer, like last summer was like probably the least fun summer that I've had like being in that triangle of drama with like Lindsay and Danielle. Like I just like didn't know how to operate sometimes because I'm Carl. I'm just like a little boy and like I just like, you know, like I don't know what to do, you know, and like Kyle and I were like not a great place. And like, oh, this could be be my last summer before I get married.

And it could be my last summer before I ever go to the Hamptons. It could be my last summer where I could show up and be like, put your weight on me, bro. So I just want to let loose and have a really great last summer. Yeah, normally summers are me making girls crazy. But last summer was girls making each other crazy. I felt like I didn't even belong.

Yeah, do you realize this could be my last time that I have a whole entire summer where I wake up at 7am and go to berries and come back and say yeah I just went to berries. Like that could be the end of an era. It could be my last summer before I get married. I just want to leave it behind. So it would be cool to be in the Hamptons, but like the White House, that's even cooler than the Hamptons.

Karin, love that outfit, you're gonna wear that. It's like, no. She, but he says it would be cool to be in the Hamptons. You know, she looks in like, Karin and Lito, Daniel got this invitation. Like this is the cooler thing. Yeah, no, this is the cooler thing. It was much cooler to be at the DC.

Like, although I kind of missed the Hamptons, but like DC, so cool, so cool work on it. And he's really trying to fake that it's really cool going to the White House. And it's like, yeah. And then they like do their like fakey, like we're in such a great relationship, hug. And it just, I mean, I can't even believe it lasted

till the end of the season. I know, cause you know, the camera's painful. The cameras went down, she's like, for you to even imply that like it would be not cool to accept Donnie's invitation when she's like a powerhouse Publicist in DC is like so long of you girl Like you better you owe Joe Biden an apology. I mean we got an invitation from Joe Biden's Assistant's friends trainer to be in a lawn with thousands of people like how could you even say that's not as cool as being in a Hamptons? Carly, don't.

Okay, so then we go to the girls car, Paige and Danielle and Sierra, and Paige is like, look at us, three single gals. Yeah, and- Well, you guys are single, cause we have Gabby now, sorry. But I'm not single, but you guys are. How fun for you?

Yeah, fun. And then we see Kyle driving and he's like, I just want to be like completely candid. Like last summer was like an off summer fuzz as a group. I like we're friends as a core, like I got a little complicated. And he basically just says that also a guy named Jesse is going to be joining the house,

but he's coming a little late because he's officiating a wedding. Yeah, so here we are. And then he was like, I'm going to turn Sierra into a hoe be joining the house, but he's coming a little late because he's officiating a wedding. Yeah. So here we are. And then he was like, um, I'm going to turn Sierra into a hoe because Sierra June, what you need to do this summer, you need to party Sierra. And she's like, um, I don't know if I'm going to have like a hoe era and pages like, yeah, well, okay.

Why don't we have the era of doing the opposite of what we normally would do. So for example, I would normally stand up. So I'm gonna stay in bed. Wait, that's not your opposite page? No, it totally is. It really is. Sierra's like, oh my God, I'm in my opposite era. Oh good, can we actually call that your

nothing on your bed era? Let's do it that, let's call it that. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna be in my bad bitch era, because I like to party your bed, Ara. Let's do it that, let's call it that. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna be in my bad bitch, Ara, cause I like to party. Okay, Danielle, everyone's like, ooh, oh God. You know everybody's looking at each other like, oh Jesus, she's still broken.

No one fakes Danielle. I'm in my on fleek, Ara, on fleek, guys. So, yeah, I'm gonna prioritize myself. Am I libido? Am I right? Yeah. Anybody wanna bounce on this? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I am so mortified that this is what we have

to hitch our ride on to, right? Like our little literal hitched ride. She's driving. So they show up and they walk into the house and they're like, oh my God, there's like a bar now cause they like sit up a tiny bar in one of the rooms. Like, cool, bad bitch, Europe begins now. Also it's my like hanging out at the bar in the house era.

It's so cool. And Paige is like, oh my God, I think they actually added a wall over there. Is that a wall? Danielle, look, they've got a place for you to stand over there on date nights. School dance nights. School dance nights. Just go ahead and stand up against that thing.

Well, that's when we're going to make up against that fucking wall. So I'm horny this season. That's right. Sarah, are you moon walking into the house? It's my opposite season going in the opposite direction. I walk it backwards now. Opposite. Did you get a flu shot? Craig was right. It's time for a commercial.

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I'm in my, oh my God, I can't believe this guy era. West Wilson, that's his name, West Wilson. And they're all drinking the new flavor of Loverboy, Limoncello. And Kyle's like, yeah, let me take you to the Malfi Coast real quick. Wow, Kyle, I appreciate you trying to show your Limoncello lover boy, but I'm still in the process

of believing that there's someone in our house named West Wilson. Can you believe that? That's like the particulars guys. Can we go to the bed and like laugh at West Wilson? It's like I want to. So, let me get this straight. No one fixed Danielle and you've still got a mullet.

So are we just giving up? Is this just the era of giving up? Okay, so Danielle is broken. You've got a mullet, you're still shilling Loverboy and there's some other guy in the house named West Wilson. So are we just in the, I don't even know what I'm gonna do with myself summer era because that's what it feels like.

And Amanda's like, West offers to make quesadillas. Wow, West, really. I love, this guy's first of all totally straight, because this guy's just coming in like, I don't even give a fuck. I'm gonna choose the easiest thing that's ever been said, and I'm just gonna make that. Okay, so while West Wilson, I mean, are we laughing about that yet?

Cause I just really want to laugh about it. So while West Wilson is making his case adidas, Amanda, what's your era? She goes like, I'm in my no patience era. Oh God, great. So Amanda's not gonna make any fucking effort this season either, huh? Wow, you're gonna be annoyed with Kyle, Amanda?

Sounds fine. And in fact, that's what she says. She goes, and it's for Kyle specifically. That's like just kind of like what I'm stuck with. That's my era. Oh, wow. Sounds like a really fun twist on our era game. Thanks.

And she tells us, there's a reason I come to this house. To spend time with people, not Kyle. So, and she tells us there's a reason I come to this house to spend time with people not Kyle So Kyle comes back and he's like all right guys There's only seven of us right now But can we still party cuz like Jesse's coming tomorrow and like he's you know just so everyone knows he's maybe Jesse's height Sorry, maybe Carl's height. Yeah, and they're like oh my god Like that's like the most exciting thing. I'm like in my tall person era. They also like, yeah, I fuck tall people.

I'm going to fuck him, everybody. Totally fucking about tall people. I'm a boss bitch. I already got a little giant ladder so I can climb up and just fuck his face. Yeah. Also, by the way, Amanda says that like over the winter, she took a pregnancy test and ever since things have

been like really weird with her and Kyle because like, I guess it made them realize that like starting a family might be a viable thing and they realized they don't like each other and maybe they shouldn't start a family, I guess. So they're all excited about a tall person and West is like, well, I don't consider myself short, but I'm not tall.

You're short. Okay. You might even have a head taller than Kyle and it's okay. You don't need to try and convince us that you're not short with your words. Okay. Cause eventually you're going to try to ride a roller coaster with us and we're going to all know the truth. Yeah. And he's like, yeah.

And like, I don't know if these girls are shallow or not shallow. The answer is shallow. You don't know shallow because, but like, if don't know if these girls are shallow or not shallow. The answer is shallow. You don't know, shallow. But like, if it's a new tall guy, my personality is just gonna have to be that much taller. And I did have a girl tell me once that I read tall, but I, and I obviously never forgot that. I like Wes, cause he's short,

but he's, and he's aging too. Like he's not a spring chicken, you know? He's not like one of the 20 year olds they bring into this house. West is like, you know, like a thick short dude in his 40s maybe who's wearing too much pancake makeup and who's gonna make the height up with teenage boy forward combed curly hair. And I appreciate that he realizes. Yeah, he has to like really read much holler. And I appreciate that he also has the naivete of a younger person. Like when he says, I don't know if these girls are shallow

or not, it's like, oh, that's, it's so sweet that he opens up the consideration that they might not be shallow. Yeah. But you're on Bravo. So Sierra's like, who's gonna get my luggage out of the car and get everything, um, West Conrad Wilson, maybe? Maybe you can do that.

And Paige is like, um, I feel like West Conrad Wilson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Yeah. By the way, it's funny because I always tell Craig, he looked like he just came off the Mayflower and all the girls go for sure. For sure. He does have Mayflower energy. He's in his Mayflower era. He has native murdering energy yeah so hot guess what so yeah I googled yeah say it other me you say it other me yeah so guys Craig googled what is

reggaetoni when we were in Italy like I couldn't even remember the shape of the pasta. He, man, he goes, hey, Googled reggaetoni. Gabby goes, um, that's not even a niche noodle. Oh my God, he's like reggaetoni ignorant. He's like a sweet child boyfriend. I've been taking care of him now for two years and currently we're doing long distance, but I feel like in a good rhythm where he says Paige I want more time with you and I can hang up. Yeah and we had a conversation where I assured him I'm not going anywhere. Literally I'm

not going to Charleston. I'm specifically not physically going anywhere near him and so like he's been pretty chill ever since. Yeah I'm going to do what I want to. And right now that is trying to figure out why someone would name their child West. Yeah, Wilson. I'm just, currently I'm just gonna be here in the Hamptons with people who understand the difference between Riga Tony and Tortellini.

That's it. Hmm. So, I mean, I don't know. I don't know about this crew. So getting to know West, okay. So West and Sierra are talking and he's like, anyone not from New York? Yeah, I got New York in 2018, home is Missouri,

my dad's a rancher, cattle rancher to be specific. And Sierra's like, oh my God, a cattle rancher? Is he married? I want a cattle rancher. Is he taller than you? Please say you got your shortness from your mom. And he's like, yeah, my family, we all have very different lives. My mom's an OBGYN and has provided a lot for the

family. Also tall, just want to put that out there. I come from tall people. And my dad is a cattle rancher. Also tall. See if I tell everyone my family was tall, I'll just be tall, right? So he was a former football player and he was a coach. I mean, did rodeos now. And anyway, dinner's always interesting. We talk about vaginas and cows, grades of vaginal tears during childbirth. There are four grades, one to four. I was a three. So now they start talking about rooms and Danielle's like, I want this room that I had before,

but this time I'm going to make memories in that bed. This kind. Yeah. fucking memories. Everyone's like, just leave her alone. She's been going through something. So Paige gets the primary bedroom. She just claims it, which is, she's like, I've never had my own room, so I just wanna have her a really big room with a big bed.

And Wes goes to help her with the bags and he's like, wow, Paige, do you have heavy stuff? Also, I really appreciate that you have tiny bags. Just sort of makes me look taller. Just take any help I can get. So it's like, is this a stuffed animal? She's like, it's a squish mellow. Because, oh, really?

What is his, what is his name? She goes, um, it's a girl also. Her name is George at and she hates you. She only wants to be around tall humans. She says you're not worth the number three tear. So she's like, I don't care if you were a number three tear, it doesn't make you taller. Yeah.

So West is like, I guess you guys just choose your rooms and tell me where mine is. And they're like, choose your own weirdo. Like, why do you have to be like that? And in their room, Amanda's like, Kyle, I don't want your clothes to touch my clothes. Kyle. So now West is gonna start making his case of dinner

and Kyle's setting up speakers cause he loves setting up speakers. He's basically like that kind of bro. He's like a speaker bro. And so Danielle's, okay guys, um, calls my name speaker. So what's the name of this club? I've always like club sand. Yeah. Danielle is at this point just turning into everyone's, um, aunt who wants to be down, you know, it's like, okay, there's aunt Danielle. Yeah. She got there real quick and Paige is like, I

like that name cause like, I like that name. She's, you know what? I'm going to put my finger right up your ass. Yeah. So then Sierra's like helping West in the kitchen. Cause you know, she's ready to cook with some gas or oil or grease. Sierra's always the first on the new hottest guy, you know? And they all kind of concede to her too.

They're just like, okay, she's the model. Like, let's see her try him out first. But Sierra always gets the first try. And so she's in there working her Sierra magic as we've seen it just work over and over again, season after season on this show, pretending that she likes cooking, basically. So he's asking about her first job

and she's like, oh, Hollister, is it a restaurant? What'd she say? Hollister. You know, like it's like apricot and vich. Oh, and he goes, well, yeah, you need to start with a shitty job. You know, one where people are mean to you. She goes, yeah, it builds charisma.

Look at me now. I'm like, maybe take another gig at Cheddar. Did it skip a generation? now. I'm like, maybe, uh, maybe take another gig at Cheddar. Did it skip a generation? I think we need to, I think we need to get some more time there. Did the intern next to you get an extra dose or did you take a lot of vacation days? We need to let's work on the. So Sierra's like, I really miss Georgia, but like, I just couldn't live there.

It's like all about the friends you make. And I was able to make some really good friends, but like Paige, oh my God, I was so pissed at Paige because I moved to New York city and she got a boyfriend right away. I was like, bitch, you're supposed to be going out with me in New York city. That was some Riz. I just gave you some straight up Riz. And West is like, well, everyone wants to find someone, but are you a single girl

or are you a dator? And she goes, oh, I'm like, I'm in the period where I want to find someone, but just today. It's like, oh, okay. Okay. That's what a way to not answer a question, you know? So Paige and Amanda are watching and they're like, oh my God, look at those two. They're like totally into each other.

This is crazy. I mean, Sierra is pretending that she likes moving around and smiling. Yeah, she like never cooked. Is she in her cooking era right now? This is wild. Oh my God, she just picked up a spatula and put it back down again.

Oh my God, she's like really into him. So then Danielle's like, guys, guys, let's make some party music. We're going to party. Could someone get Daniela, mean you labor job, please? She needs to work on her charisma too. I just want to put that out there. So, um, a page is like, oh my God, speaking of Danielle, we were talking about Lindsay coming and Danielle was like, cool. What do you think that means?

Yeah, that's just how she always is. Like she gets in her feelings about it. And I know she had like, you know, reservations cause I think it's like spending time with your ex, which actually seems really good right about now. Oh my God. Did they talk at your event? Remember you had an event for Lover Boy?

Did you, did they talk? And Amanda's like, yeah, they were in the same room together and like, they were like existing, but they're like not friends. And like, she's capable of just being in the same room, you know, and just having fun preaching to the choir. And by the way, we are the choir. We're just like a really well-dressed choir.

Do you ever notice how good we are? Yeah. So Paige says that her plan this summer is that she's just gonna have the same plan that she's had with Lindsay ever since she came to the house, which is try to be nice, try to be friendly. And then when Lindsay does something to her, she's just going to lose her mind. And then we, uh, Kyle and Danielle talk about like how proud Kyle is that Danielle

is moving on with her life. You know, she had a rough year and she's like, yeah, I lost my best friend, my boyfriend. And over the winter, I got my mojo back. I was like, oh my God, that is so sad that you think of the winter house season as getting your mojo back. I mean, that is just embarrassing. She says, I did learn some lessons,

and then it cuts to Alex being like, yeah, I was hoping more for friendship. By friendship, I mean, please pretend you don't know me next time you see me. Please. Oh my god, I'm whatever Danielle was saying was like really interesting, but like I just want to say I'm like so hungry I'm like famished. I'm like literally starving. I am in my starving era right now. I'm hungry Hmm West is like page you think you're gonna do the dishes before we go out or after sick. How dare you? I've never done a dish. I've done a dish since the 2000s is like, Paige, you think you're gonna do the dishes before we go out or after, how dare you? I've never done a dish.

I haven't done a dish since the 2000s. So he is serving these quesadillas he made. They are all burnt. They're burnt. And here's the thing, not only one of them is burnt, they're literally all uniformly black. Who cooks a quesadilla like that and then brags about it? Yeah, and they all seem really impressed by it.

It's one thing to have like black and fish or something or like a black and chicken thing. But like not Black and Sleaze of You. Brad is not black and sir. Yeah, I know. So they're eating it, they're enjoying it and they're happy that it's like a small group and that tonight is gonna be Carnival night.

I'm like, oh my God, are you guys gonna do a Carnival theme party on this thing? But later on we find out it's an actual carnival to go to, which I appreciate. So Danielle's like, heart 30, and then we meet down here at club set. Okay, everyone, everyone, yeah. So they go to take showers and stuff,

and then Kyle and Amanda just aren't happy guys. I feel like we're not on the same team. And I just want our future. And then Amanda's like, go shower in your room, Kyle, because it's definitely not the same room I'm staying in. Kyle. Because Kyle, what sets this off is that, because they're all going off to change and everything

and there's still leftover quesadillas. And Kyle's like, so how long can we leave these like a couple hours out? And she's like, Kyle, I literally gave you foil to wrap them in and put them in the refrigerator. Kyle. It's gonna be quite a season guys.

It's gonna be quite a season. Good old fashioned tin foil fight. And so now the girls are talking about how cute West is. And Paige is like, I mean, he actually gets hotter the more he talks. I was gonna say taller, but it's not that good. Yeah, yeah. And Sierra's like, yeah, he fits right in.

He's a chatter. It's like, yeah, Sierra fitting in right with Sierra also a big chatter. Big chatter. Huge chatter. Huge chatter. She's like, not gonna lie. He's impressing me.

You know why? He's inquisitive. Like, how many guys in New York City are inquisitive? I mean, you would think it would be simple math, but no. I love this. They just are like, yeah, he gets hotter and hotter. The more you talk to him, he's so interesting. He's really great.

He's so wonderful if there's a tall person coming in. Okay, bye. Yeah, exactly. So Kyle's running around naked as usual and Amanda's like, put a towel on you idiot. Ah. She's really on one. So now they're getting ready for the party.

Sorry, go ahead. I was gonna say, she's really on one. I mean, like, I don't know. I think that like, I'm sorry. Well, I know they both contribute to this very toxic relationship and that Kyle is no angel, but I cannot stand when people call their loved ones idiots.

Like I think that's like so wrong to do that to someone that you love. That's my most stance. I don't know, I mean, I blame the mullet. You know what I mean? I can't stand up for Kyle when he's got that mullet. I will say Amanda sucks, but I will also say that Kyle probably makes her crazy. But yeah, Amanda sucks.

And also even if Kyle is making her crazy, Amanda should know well enough by now to let Kyle, let the audience know why Kyle is making him crazy, because right now you just look like a sucky person. Like you suck, get out of here. It's so supposed to be fun. Amanda, not fine. Yeah, I have no doubt. And I will roast Kyle when it's time for him to be roasted.

But I'm like, Jesus, don't call your, like I don't know, I just feel like it's so, I don't know, I'm just like, I think that's bad. I'm like, Jesus, don't call your, I don't know. I just feel like it's so, I don't know. I'm just like, I think that's bad. I'm like, I would never. So Amanda's like, okay, they gather downstairs and they're like, oh Amanda, she's like, yeah, I'm going for a look that's like, going to a carnival where there's children

and Paige is like, with your nipples out? I'm like, yeah, I can see your nipples. Like, Amanda's got nipples. So they go to the carnival and they walk up to the whack-a-mole game and the man is like, they misspelled guacamole. That's my thing. And they're all exceptionally good at carnival games.

They're get out there, all of them. They're just like poppin' balloons. They emerge with so many stuffed animals. I've like, I'm lucky if I went to the Orange County Fair, I spent four hours there and I came out with a stuffed lobster. A little stuffed lobster that's three inches long. And they're coming out with enormous, enormous stuffed animals.

I think this is like a rich people, cause it's in the Hamptons. So it's like for rich people where they just make them all feel like studs. Yeah. And they just make it easier for them. Yeah, they just make it easier. I don't think these are real carnies. I think these are just like, let's do what those poor people do.

Connip, conival thing, you know, just little pop balloons. They don't rig any of the games. It's just all very easy. Yeah. So, um, then Westlip piles a bunch of stuffed animals on Sierra so we can get a beer and she's like, oh my God, are you being like serious right now? Like, yeah, I think it's kind of funny. She's like, luckily for you, I'm in my like down with holding a bunch of stuffed animals

era. So like fun. And Carl wins a huge banana with like rustifarian hair. Yeah, it's got dreads. And Amanda's like, is that, what'd you say? It's got dreads. What dreads, yeah, thank you, I'm sorry. My vocabulary is like, this is my,

like I don't care about words era. This is Ben and Ronnie's third recap of the day era. So our brain cells are also in our rotting era. So Amanda's like, oh my God, is that banana for me? And he's like, I mean, it is for you, but I'm excited about it. So my God, you're taking the banana. It's like, oh, okay. Well, look, this is what I wanted for the summer. Because like, I know, you know, like, I know you like hanging out with friends

separately and stuff, but, you know, I just want to spend more time together. Because like, we're like the anti attached to the hip couple. You know what I mean? I was like, but it's your fault because every time I just want to spend more time together because like we're like the anti-attached the cup hip couple You know what I mean? I think but it's your fault because every time I ask you to come out of your office You're like no and then so I got used to not hanging out with you now You want to hang out with me, but you can't hang out with me because I already got used to not hanging out with you Yeah, so like now I want that back a little bit. It's just but it doesn't work like that Yeah, so like now I want that back a little bit. And she goes, but it doesn't work like that. And he's like, by the way, he's also wasted.

He's like, oh, but so like I go over a strip and I'm like away for four, five, six days. And I come home and like, I don't expect you to jump in my arms, but I do kind of like miss you. And I'm like, I like, I don't do like, do you not, you don't miss, you don't miss me. Kyle's like wasted and gross and sloppy too early every single night. Yeah.

At some point it's just a turn off dude. Like who would want to fuck that? Here's some aging dude walking around in a mullet wasted before everyone else thinking it's cute to have scenes with the banana. You know? Right. And so this is where it's like, well now I can understand why Amanda is at her wit's end with this guy.

But then she's like, yeah, but like, when I leave, I miss you too. And I'm home and I'm just like, I'm just taking care of dogs and watching TV. So I'm like, yeah, but at the same time, like, Kyle has been a workaholic since season one. So he's always been a workaholic. And so you married him trying to change him from that too. So also know what you signed up for. I can't with this. Like, I've talked about this that too. So also know what you signed up for. I can't with this, like I've talked about this couple too much, you know what I mean? I want to like for the spirit of the recap, I would love to have a conversation with you,

but it's the same thing. Amanda's a whiny brat and Kyle's an annoying aged frat boy. Like I don't know what else to tell you at this point. You know what I mean? Both of you do better. Okay, both of you. Ronnie's in his do better era. I'm in my, I can't talk what else to tell you at this point. You know what I mean? Both of you do better. Okay, both of you. Ronnie's in his do better era. I'm in my, I can't talk about

your terrible relationship anymore, okay? Get better relationships and come back. Try again, you know? Well, I kind of want to like go back to the basics where we're like a little bit more like inseparable and like I start to feel like I'm like the only one that misses something in a relationship. She's like, well, we'll use this summer to get our groove back. We'll figure it out.

And we, where'd you go? Are you? How'd you already get to the top of that Ferris wheel without me? I'm with my best friend the banana. Commercials, here comes one right now. So now Kyle filmed some scenes with the banana. Because you know, Kyle loves an inanimate object friend on the show. They have those every year. So now Ciara and Wes draw on like the Ferris wheel. And now it's time to go home.

So Amanda's still bitching about Kyle. She's like, I can't believe Kyle had the audacity to tell me I didn't hang out with Kyle Kyle. I know. And then Gabby throws up. And now, and Wes and Kyle are like line dancing and then Paige and the girls are on the big primary bed and Paige tells Daniel, oh my God,

your hair looks so freaking good right now. Wow, congratulations, you're in your good hair era. Oh, well, now you're out of it. You didn't have to touch it. So everyone, but then everyone winds up piling on the bed to hang out and Paige is like, oh my God, we've like never had like the entire group on the bed all at once.

Like this is like such a moment. Like I'm gonna cry. Also it means that when people make fun of me for always being in the bed, they have to make fun of you guys too. So I'm not alone in this anymore. Sorry. Kyle goes, backstory, page-less beds.

And then everyone gets off the bed. And then they all go back. So West has a hot room, so they're like, why don't you just move? Like why are you putting yourself in hell? There's still open rooms, dummy. So then the next day, West is in the kitchen shirtless cooking.

And he starts making. He makes a bed very well, by the way. I wanna say he makes a very good bed. Mm, well there you go. Yeah, I'm in my hotel room. I'll tell West. Beds era. So he's making breakfast with Gabby.

They're gonna be baking an eggs. And then Kyle and Amanda are talking. And Kyle's like, I remember when this room was hot last year. And she's like, you keep saying that, but how much time did you even spend in here, Kyle? He's like, wow, you really need to drop the attitude, Amanda. So then now more breakfast making,

and Sierra and Paige are in bed. And Sierra Sierra's like I had like so much fun at the carnival I don't know like I feel like my charisma just like Became twice as charismatic and pages like yeah, and how about like everyone in that bed? Remember like everyone got into the bed with us like that was like I just I don't think the house has ever laughed so much I think it's just like really nice not having two geriatric people that we have to like explain all our jokes to around. You know, it's just like smooth and easy.

And this happens on every show when they get their way and get rid of the person that they don't like. It's boring, okay? Like I'm sorry, but do you guys think it's fun? This is not fun to watch, okay? I need some crazy ass ones. Fun for the house.

Less fun for us. Honestly though, to be honest, Ronnie, I was just glad that they weren't like doing a pirate party or a wacky 80s party or everyone dressed like sharks party. You know? And that's also winter house. It's also winter house. Oh, it's this house. This house. Yeah.

But winter house, they just shove it all in together. It's like Ultimate Girls Trip where they just, they're like, you're staying right here and you're doing the things we like over and over for two weeks. It's like you have, we have an accelerated production schedule of five days, so we have to make sure you do everything all at once and hopefully we get something good out of it. Yeah, exactly.

So, Lindsay, so Paige is talking about like how much fun it is without old people. And Lindsey's like, I'm happy for her. We're just, where DC, we just checked in. I hope I don't look like a tourist. She's in like a flag, an American flag short shorts and an American flag, you know, top to work out him. Wow.

Say hi, babes. Say hi, babes. Oh, hi. Hi. Say hi, ladder babes. It's America. Hi. Hi.

Also, Lindsay's, um, I don't know. Is this the season when this changed, but her little occupation that they put down when they say Lindsay and now says influencer, which how long has she been an, uh, an official influencer on the show? Or is that new this season? I don't know. She might have gotten that title when her and Carl went full on getting the Kia and then doing those like commercials for things together.

Remember when they were like, we're doing couples commercials. So back at the house, Paige is like, so, Sarah, so we have like a new guy coming. And if he can't like get down at the house, Paige is like, so, Sierra, so we have like a new guy coming. And if he can't like get down with the bed, like he's gonna have to be out of the house. And then Kyle and Amanda are in the kitchen and Kyle, like we find out that Mon, like Kyle brought Mon the giant banana into the bed.

And basically the banana, when I say Mon, they named the banana Mon, like, hey Mon, the banana is like a giant barrier, like a wall in that bed. Yeah. And so Amanda's like, you're like, I bet you're gonna keep going.

You're like, I don't know. We're on Amanda and Kyle's thing. I don't know how many times I need to explain to you. I'll do it from here. So Amanda's like, Amanda's like, Kyle had a whole conversation with me about how I don't hang how many times I need to explain to you. I'll take it from here. So Amanda's like, Amanda's like, Kyle had a whole conversation with me about how I don't hang out with him enough and then I don't spend enough time with him.

But then you don't hang out with me when I came home. Like you don't miss all that stuff. But then like last night he like gets on the Ferris wheel without me and puts like, Maan in the bed. Like, and he's like, come on. It's like, yeah, let's just see how you even hang out with me today. You're gonna like hang out with everybody else

other than me. Here's my note. B, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 14 O's to spell boring. Okay, you got a 14 O boring from me. Okay. So now we go back to breakfast and they start talking about what friends are coming to their big fourth of July party. And Danielle's like, well, Sierra, we're going to party.

I'm going to dare you. I dare you to make out with someone. Sierra, I dare you. Sierra, what are you going to dare me to do? You should make, dare me to make out with somebody. And then Sierra goes, well, I dare you to, I don't know, do I have to play this game with her? Okay, I'll do it.

I dare you to touch and attract a person's nipples. That was fun, right? And she's like, oh my God, yeah, fun Aunt Danielle's here. So she touches Wes's nipples. And then Gabby's like, guys, I have a surprise. So last summer I threw a party that was lackluster to say the least, but as a gesture for coming back to this house, I was like, what do we need?

What does this group need? A mechanical shark. Unless it's big enough to take Amanda. I mean, honestly, just bring some nachos. You know what I mean? So now they do decorators and Paige calls Craig and he's like, hey, chicken, she's like, hey, chicken. He's like, I'm back in Charleston.

What'd you have for breakfast? She's like, oh my God, thank you so much for asking, Craig. I had bacon. You know, you know, that had to have that conversation. Where's that? Every single time you call, you just call me and start talking to me like a freaking wall. You don't know a thing about me, Craig Craig like I do things really like what do you do

like I had breakfast would you have for breakfast oh my god thank you I will marry you I will marry you well I wanted to ask you about you before me telling you about me so you told me about bacon, so that counts. And so anyway, Saratoga's gonna be like a little more exciting for us this year because I'm gonna buy a racehorse. No, you're not, no you're not. Okay, I'm just gonna say this right now. That is the dumbest decision I've ever heard you tell me

and you've told me a lot of dumb decisions you made. That is dumber than the soccer team, dumber than the restaurant, dumber than the soccer team, dumber than the restaurant, dumber than the hot air balloon, dumber than the oil rig that you wanted to build in the middle of Manhattan. This is the dumbest thing you've ever come up with, Craig. And he is doing the restaurant with Austin.

He's doing that. That's funny, a soccer team. She goes, a couple of weeks ago, he said he's buying a soccer team in London because he watched Welcome Direct some once. So like, he's like, suddenly trying to be like Ryan Reynolds. Okay, like I'm over here trying to do my best Blake Lively, but I do have my concerns. So then Lindsay and Carl call Gabby and Gabby's like, Oh my God, you guys, they're at the White House and I was like, we don't care. And this is like, oh my God, how's it going?

And Gabby's like, guys, I just want to tell you, everyone here is having like the best time that we've ever had. Wow. Yeah. It's crazy because like all seven of us are together and we're like, who's missing? And like, it's literally no one is missing.

Oh. I mean, we're missing. You are. You know, totally, totally you guys are missing. What are you guys missing from? Are you missing from this house? But like guys, like seriously, like when I tell you the house is the most amazing it's ever been, I mean it. And then she goes, okay, well, that's good. No, no, no, no.

All I'm, that's what I'm trying to say is, ever since you guys have not been here, the house has been amazing. But of course we miss you, but we're just saying the house is just like, literally so much better than it ever has been in the history of this house with you guys not here. It's just like crazy.

And Danielle's like, yeah, last summer really fucked me up. But like, I hope we can get along, but like, let's make no mistake, I hated that bitch that I hope it can work out because like I'm party, I'm party Danielle now. Yeah. So they're setting up for this party and just like it's 4th of July and for some reason they have like a bunch of like inflatable spaceships and pages like disgusted by them. She's like, um, what is this spaceship thing that has turned into disgusting?

I hate NASA. And then, um, there's like just setting up and everything. And so- Oh my God, time for Carl Cam. Carl Cam at the White House. Oh my God, Carl. Take a picture of me and Joe Biden. I don't see Joe Biden.

Carl, make it up. Carl, Carl. So what are we doing like two cameras for this? Or like, what's going on? Cause I'm kind of running the camera right now. I was like, Oh, sorry babe. I'll put my camera away. Thank you.

And this is where we see them on the White House lawn with 9 million people. Right. It's like a big public event. It's basically like going to the public pool the first day it opens, blankets everywhere, tons of people. And it looks so uninteresting. It's like I would never choose this over the Hamptons. So then back,

Kyle and Wes are talking about the carnival and Kyle's like, so on the Ferris wheel, were you purposely gravitating towards the arrow? Like, did you lay on any thick moves? Cause you know, I miss, are you into our, you know, West is just like, yeah, feels right, feels right. So meanwhile, Pay just like really excited to see the new guy. And Sierra's like, yeah, when does he get here?

I hear he's tall, he's tall, right? Jesse Solomon, it works in finance, Jesse Solomon. He's six, four. He's tall, right? He's tall, he's tall. I'm tall, tall, tall, tall, tall. Like, okay, Sierra, you need to just like come your lady boner for a second. So Kyle's like, well, He's tall, he's tall. He's tall, tall, tall, tall, tall. Like, okay, Ciarak, you need to just like come your lady boner for a second.

So Kyle's like, well, I don't know, man, but I've never seen her cook with somebody. So that's gotta be a good sign. And he's like, yeah, feels really good. But I know what tall guys come in. And he tells us basically that. He's like, yeah, I'm the only guy here so I can't read too much into it.

And this guy might be tall. So, and Kyle's like like, oh by the way, this guy might come in hot. Uh, and the girls love a tall guy He's like, damn it Yeah, so he's like, well, it's okay. I'll take a step back So now Jesse arrives and he goes it's Jesse which is a really annoying way to in that to enter is to sort of be like Say your name. So the girls are like, oh my God, Jesse Solomon, Jesse Solomon, are you tall? That voice sounds tall. I feel like that voice, when he said it's Jesse, it came from like the ceiling and then

descended on our ears. It didn't come from the floor and come up. So I'm pretty sure it's tall. It's tall. That's tall. It was basically like if a lighthouse could speak. It was like I could hear like a ref blow whistle because it was like I was at an NBA game. That was a tall voice.

It's like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you. I'm Paige. You're so tall. And he's like, yeah, I know. And Sierra's like, guys, Jesse Solomon, Solomon's here, Solomon's here. Oh my God, Jesse Solomon, Jesse Solomon. Oh Kyle, Jesse Solomon. And he's like, why do I have to be a two-name guy, guys?

Can I just be a Jesse? And he's got this like big, huge smile. And this guy looks like a total, total dickweed. I would not trust this guy as far as I can. I would never trust this guy. And I've bought so many cell phones from this guy. I can just tell you that right now. Like I bought the Sidekick.

I bought the T-Mobile Sidekick when I didn't even want a new phone from this guy He just tricked me into it This guy he this is this is this is danger danger redhead This is a guy with tall privilege who's hot and works in finance like it could not be more red flags He's really hot So of course they're like, oh my god Oh my god, oh my god, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

And West is like, oh fuck, here comes this guy, a tall guy with a smile that goes ear to ear. Not worried at all, not worried at all. And Sierra's like, oh my God, how big are you? Three, six, three and a half, four? You might be six, five. You might be six, five. Let's say you're six, six.

And he's like, might be. Let's go be, might be. So he's like, let's go there. Might be, might be. So he's getting situated in his room and everyone's like, oh my God. And Kyle's trying to coordinate with Amanda's shirt and she doesn't really care. And Kyle talks about how we, he met Jesse out in New York and Jesse is single

and making the most of it, AKA fuck boy, big, big time fuck boy. Yeah. Um, so then guest arrivals and stuff and Gabby and Amanda and Sierra and Jesse are all talking and they're asking questions to Jesse. Amanda's like, so you grew up where where'd you go out what part? Okay, do you like girls? What kind of girls do you like? What's the worst thing you've ever done? Okay, what's the most interesting thing you've ever done? Have you ever ignored your girlfriend to go hang out with a big stuff banana? I don't know.

If you could hang out with me or a banana with threads, what would it be? He's like, well, my name's Jesse and I grew up north of the suburbs of Chicago. I have a question. Did you grow up north of the suburbs of Chicago. I have a question Did you grow up north at the suburbs or were you just like raised in Chicago and just got so tall that your head wound up in North of Chicago because you're like really tall Where you raised in the mountains of Chicago? Were you a mountain of Chicago? What's taller you or or the Chrysler building because you're like what's it like being able to feel rain

first or the Chrysler building. Because you're like, what's it like being able to feel rain first? What's it like when a bird first hit you in the head? Because they thought it was trying to fly over you. I bet it hit you because it was too tall. He's like, well, an interesting thing about me is I studied jazz vocal performance. It was in my bar mitzvah. When I found out I was above average in singing. Listen, I've been to a lot of bar mitzvah and I found out I was above average in singing.

Listen, I've been to a lot of bar mitzvahs in my life. I've never said that about one person being bar or bot mitzvah. Never. I don't think anyone's ever laughed being like, wow, what a voice. Yeah, you don't, you don't understand. When you are in a Jewish family, this is what happens. Oh my God, you have the voice of an angel. That is an angel, is an angel. He should study music. You know what?

He should. That was tears came to my eyes. You know what? Tears, we were all crying. I was talking, I was talking to my wife. We cried at your son at the Torah. You know what? We're gonna push him into vocal lessons.

Jesse, you're taking singing lessons. Really? You are, honestly, the voice of Hashem just came down. This, coming out taking singing lessons. Really? You are? Honestly, the voice, the voice of Hashem just came down. This, coming out of that mouth are true. You know what? If you could be a boy, Barbara Streisand, that's who you would be because your voice, I tell you, you know what? It may be even better than Barbara's. It was better than Barbara's. That's how that happens. That's it. We're calling him boy bra. Happy Bar Mitzvah. Your name is now boy bra Streisand. By the way, did you die?

Cause I definitely died when he said, I studied vocal jazz performance in college and then Sierra and page like, we love jazz. You do not. Oh my God, jazz. We totally love, we're in our jazz era. We've been in our jazz era all our lives actually now that we think about it. You know, if West said that, they would have been like, jazz is so gross. That's so stupid.

That's like a short person's music. Short people love jazz. Gross. It's like, yeah, vocal jazz performance at my bar mitzvah. We love bar mitzvah. It's such an honor. Like, monstrosy. If jazz was reachable, it would be on like the lowest shelf of music. Jazz is a Chris. Yeah, we love, we love jazz. So he kind of gives us a sample of his singing. He's like, open pit barbecue sauce. Yeah, yeah, he does say open pit barbecue sauce.

This is in Carl and Paige are talking. By the way, I just want to say the producer also totally in love with the sky. She's like, oh my God, could you sing that again? That was great. This is going in the show, Jesse. So Kyle pulls Paige aside to talk. He's like, I want to talk about a man-dush. She's like, oh Jesus Christ. Okay, I picked up here having trouble already. He's like, she's just me down. Like, I mean, I just wanted to like, well, that worked for us. Like, are we gonna be together? We're gonna have babies. I mean, who are we gonna do?

So like, am I nodding enough? I just want it to seem like I care. Kyle, I know this is a very important thing for you, but I really need to get to the jazz Wikipedia before I talk to Jesse again, so can you wrap this up? I know I'm pretending to listen to you, but I'm just wondering if it hurts to hit your head on a star.

Do you know who Disney Kalesi is? I feel like I should follow up on that. I think it's someone who has something to do with jazz. Um, so Paige is like, um, I have formed such a great relationship and a friendship with Kyle over the past couple of years, you know, and I feel like we've gotten really close or more like he's gotten close to me where he talks and I just nod, but like that's cool and so anyway, his relationship is fucked. So she goes and immediately tells Amanda of course. She's like, you know, I mean I think he's just comfortable complaining to me before he actually goes to you with it. For example, Amanda's like, oh my god I'm so bored with this I hate him.

It's like, but it was very deep our heart to heart. And, you know, he wants, he wants you to feel 50 50. And she's like, Oh my God, but then he hung out with a banana. And then meanwhile, Sierra is just like the girls were all the girls are on a day bed. They're like, Oh my God, we found a bed, but it's outdoors. This is like amazing. And Sierra's like, I think just like the seven of us, like that was a magical thing. I think it was like perfect.

And like maybe if we see Carl Lindsey, we should put up a sign that says no key is allowed and like just keep it all of us, the seven of us. And then yeah, they're really trying to make that. They're really trying to get the audience to agree with them. Like, oh my God, isn't this fun? This is totally the new cast. And then Paige is like, oh yeah,

but actually, you know, I think it was like, good the seven of us, but also like Jesse, like, oh yeah, but actually, you know, I think it was like the seven of us But also like Jesse like oh my god. He's so tall. He's like so tall like like obviously like Just a Solomon and they're like well, what about like between West or Jesse Jesse Jesse. He didn't let me ask finish the question Yeah, they're like, oh my god. He's tall. Of course we'd go for the tall one. Duh Amanda's like yeah, like West but you know what though like West bucks They're like, oh my God, he's tall. Of course we'd go for the tall one. Duh! Amanda's like, yeah, like West, but you know what they're like, West bucks, but like Jesse like humps like a Labrador retriever.

Like West like knows where your clit is, but Jesse is like on your left lip and is like, what is this? What is this? And then he brings like a banana into the bed. And next thing you know, Jesse's on the Ferris wheel without you. And then like going on four or five day

Work trips like Amanda. I think you've said wait into the Kyle discussion And Sierra's like he Jesse like it's like did you come or no west is like did you come and page this West knows if you came and Amanda Goes yeah, well Kyle already came on a banana. Well, just really offensive. So they're like, oh poor Amanda, that must be exhausting. And Paige is like, he's just scared of the house and the kids and Amanda goes, oh yeah, well he cheated on me and I took him back, let's talk about that.

Okay, and you don't get to talk about that anymore. That's over now, okay. You went through a whole full on marriage with this person years after he cheated on you and got away with it. So no, we're not gonna rewind to that, man. Yeah, I think at this point, talk about it to the therapist

because we've been down this path many, many, many times. And if you're still holding resentment from it, that may be, you may be entitled to it, but also it's time to move on. Why don't you move on to Jesse Solomon? How about that? Because- There would be a twist.

That would be a twist, okay? Yeah, that would be a twist. I always saw chemistry between Amanda and Craig. I was always thinking that Amanda and Craig were gonna probably end up together. But- Yeah, maybe. Not necessarily hoping for it, but I just always sense that Amanda and Craig were gonna probably end up together. But maybe not necessarily hoping for it. But I just always sense some chemistry there.

So we'll see the next candle. I really enjoyed this premiere. I actually enjoyed all of it, every single aspect of it. And I was surprised because I did come in with Winter House fatigue. And I was like, oh God, I don't know if I have this stamina for just like watching them have like trying to convince us they're having the time of their lives in this like house. But actually, I was really into it and I'm hoping that this is going to translate into like a really good season.

All right. Well, you heard it there first, everybody. Certainly did. We'll talk to you next time. Thanks so much for being here. Go check out tickets for our European tour and for the Netflix is a joke comedy festival over at watch what crap is calm It's also where you can get this video recap and our southern hospitality Season finale bonus episode recap have a great weekend everyone talk to you later Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni. She don't take no bologna.

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