Watch What Crappens - #234: Casseroles, Nose Cripples & Whistlers

Episode Date: November 4, 2015

Turns out Vicki lied about cancer for some sex and possible sympathy casseroles. Called it! Also, Vanderpump Rules is back to terrorize your senses with all new terrible Val Pak surgery and Apres Ski puts even more poor people on the air. YAY! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. For all our other links and extras, go to http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium subscribers, Jessica Halford Porter, Christy Doherty, and Claudia Catalina. We love you girls. Now on with the show. Hey everybody, welcome to the Watch What Crapper's Podcast. A podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo.

I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm with the Ben Mandelker of the B-Side Blog and the band Tablundo. Gorgeous, talented, thin, and hungry hello man oh go on ronnie go on hello i'm in a crazy place i ended with hungary because i think that that is the most admirable quality in a person person who lets themselves feel hunger every once in a while uh how awful for you that's what it's that's what it's like being gay feeling hunger feeling hunger not for some of us darling so everybody thank you so much for listening to this thank you for subscribing on patreon those of you who do uh we just recorded that bonus and somehow we mixed in the kkk with gay porn a boxer getting tricked into gay porn mixed with what else was in there it was some fun it was some fun mixes it was you know and

by the way the link between kkk and gay porn is not that crazy because you know probably about half of those kkk guys watch gay porn and then are so closeted they feel shitty about themselves. Oh my god, if only Harry Hamlin would do some gay porn in his swastika, oh my god. It would be like a KKK splooge fest all over your screens. If they weren't wearing giant sheets to cover them, because they're pussies.

As you would know if you listened to the bonus if you didn't already know. We talked about KKK and Harry Hamlin wearing a swastika. The boxer who claimed he was drugged. A little bit about Zola. We talked a lot about gay porn.

And I think we talked about a few other things that were really amusing. But for some reason I can't remember them at the moment. I was in a fugue state. That's what happens

when we record. That's enough to make people either press stop right now or subscribe, I think. I think there's only one way you're going to go with any of that. We were talking on there like why do we always end up talking about porn and we just basically justified it with look we're talking about bravo no one will talk about that in public

either so you know we're doing a service anything you don't want to talk about in public let us know we'll do it right here so anyway you can find that on patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. And thank you so much to everybody who's doing that. You can get ringtones, which, oh, this month is new. There'll be new ones up soon. Lots of Vanderpump Rules, I'm sure. Ringtones, the hangout will be in a couple of weeks. Really fun.

So go there. Also, you can find us on iTunes. So subscribe. If you subscribe to us on iTunes like it helps us obviously we love that and when you review we're like hey but beyond just helping us it's also the only way

that you really see the new episodes right when they're posted on iTunes because if you don't subscribe for whatever reason iTunes shows it later and there's nothing we can do which you're lucky because everything I try to fix i break it's true actually no ronnie makes a good point because um a lot of times it's weird uh people who subscribe on itunes it you know when you subscribe some people don't even realize what

subscribing is but when you do subscribe what happens is that itunes automatically delivers the episode to your phone or to your iTunes library. And sometimes it's weird how that process will happen before people who don't subscribe get it. It's like a different feed. It just makes life easier. No one understands it. We don't understand it. But anyway, so we're not trying to trick you.

But if you are one of the ones who gets it, you're like, why is everybody else listening to it and I'm not? That's why. So just subscribe and you'll get it automatically. We're available everywhere. You can find us on SoundCloud, Stitcher. That's my personal favorite right there, Stitcher. Tune in. We're all over.

Just Google it. Or go to WatchWhatCrappens.com, which has all of our links to all of those places. And what else do we have to talk? That's it, right? Yeah, I mean, we talked about Patreon and Facebook. Did we talk about Facebook? I don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to get through this quicker

because it's obnoxious. You probably just listened to 20. Hey, welcome to the Sideshow Network. Yeah, we want to really, by the way, we really want to do, we were talking about this before we started recording, that we really want to make sure people know how appreciative we are.

We know we are reading ads in the middle of the show now and we're asking for stuff on Patreon. We're asking you guys to subscribe and this and that or whatever. We really appreciate you guys listening to us and being patient with us. No one wants to be hawked at. That's why we always fast forward that part on Downton Abbey. But it really means a lot to you. When you guys do do these things and

you support us it goes it really goes so far because you know we I mean we did a three-hour episode last week and yeah we're putting in we put in a lot of time and um it really makes it worth it for us on our end uh really and it helps us it keeps our brains on straight oh my god totally being able to justify sitting here literally for five hours which we did the other day we sat here yapping for five effing hours because it is like an hour beforehand where we talk about like maybe we should do this on soundcloud or maybe we should do that right like we it's like it's a lot it's a lot well that bonus was almost an hour too that was so fun that day oh my god we were so tired at the end so anyway thank. So we're taking a long way of saying thank you. We're going to try and make that part quicker.

Thank you. Thank you for coming to watch a crap and sit back and enjoy the show. Thanks. So we have got a crazy week coming up. We just did Heather McDonald's Juicy Scoop podcast yesterday, which we've that's like our third time hanging out with that chick. Really like her. She is so funny. Really, really like her. Love somebody who is hanging out with that chick. Really like her. She is so funny. Really, really like her.

Love somebody who is so open with their opinion. Not afraid to be a bitch when she needs to, opinion-wise. And also can still stick up for her friends, even when someone like me is right in their face. Like, no, your friend is dumb. I'm sorry. Your friend is dumb. She's still like, okay, well, that's your opinion. That's still my friend.

And then she'll move on and be fine. You know's that's a sort of maturity that i don't necessarily have god bless you man i really like it it's also uh a great power that fame brings you because when you're famous you'll be like uh-huh okay that's great i'm gonna shut you down now okay moving on yeah exactly no but for real she's totally awesome and you know how i'm willing to be shut down no she didn't shut me down. I think she was just like, you know, come on back from the road before you get hit by a bus or something. She actually never shut you down. There was never anything like that.

She looked at me like she was considering what the fuck I'm – she was like, what are you? Who are you? Why am I amused? You were in a state last night when we did it. It was kind of funny. It was also, it was like you were, because at one point you went on this big rant about Carly Fiorina. Oh, don't start.

And it was like that. And then she was talking and then you put the periscope right in her face. It was like all these things going on. I was like, oh. It was just like a crazy, crazy situation. Wow. But it was ultimately though. That's what you get when you invite me into your home.

That's right. I wouldn't want it either way. It's crazier uh when there's someone else you know we've actually gotten to know each other as friends over there like we're friends like legit friends and when we hang out i'm not like jumping all over the walls but when we go out i'm jumping all over the walls like i feed off energy wherever i am and so if i see a bigger audience, even if it's like the gardeners outside, I'll be crazy loud. Like it's stupid. But what can I tell you?

I'm a needy. I'm a sad, needy person, but at least I just need laughs and not other people. Oh, Ronnie. Oh, I just need them to laugh. I don't need their money or the care. Oh, well, you do need their money. That's why we have Patreon.

Oh, well, that's true. Yeah. No, for real guys uh when that when that episode comes out i'm sure we'll put up a link etc but super cool and we're really grateful for having heather having on having us on because she gets like much more famous people than us i mean she had like chris kardashian on last week and we're following in the in the footsteps of our k a Kardashian. We literally are following in our Kardashians. Wow. Wow. And they earned it. You know, I think there's a certain power in being able to say, fuck you, I don't care.

Like, I don't care who anybody is. I just want to make fun of them. And that's how it should be. Now, where I get hypocritical about that is on next news. Because, you know, we don't interview a ton of Bravo people on this show because it's kind of awkward. Like, it's hard sitting here with Jill Zarin and not being like, yeah, but you were a bitch, you know? Yeah.

So, luckily, the ones we've met are, like, our kind of people. And they're real and will admit when they're wrong and have fun shit-talking and have fun listening to us shit-talk. Yeah. And one of those is the lovely Kate Chastain from Below Deck. And I'm so excited to meet her just as a person. I'd love to hear her take and hear all the backstage stuff. I'm so excited. Wait, are we meeting meeting her or is she just coming on to the Skype?

She's going to Skype with us. Does she live here? I don't know where she is. For some reason, I feel like she lives in Tampa or Florida. Yeah, I think she's from Florida. I don't think she lives here. I feel like that's where all the Yachtys are. Really excited for that.

Kate is very, very funny, and she's so acerbic, and she definitely speaks her mind. I mean, the things that she said to Leon all season long or the times when he came for her and she just does not – she barely bats an eye, I wouldn't do that. I'd be crying. I'd be in the back corner. For as much shit as we talk right here,

if someone was like, go shut your face, I'd be like, all right, bye. Yeah, for sure. I can give it, but I cannot take it. I'm excited to hear what she has to say. I want to learn about yachting from her. I want to learn about, I actually want to ask her some questions. Oh, Lord, you're going to ask her fucking sailboat questions.

No. Well, no, I mean, I want to learn about the show. I want to learn about yacht actually want to ask lord you're going to ask her fucking sailboat questions no well no i mean i want to learn about the show i want to learn about yachting versus the show i'm going to be like do you guys get mods on boats i know actually honestly i act i do want i do want to ask her question which is how do you how do you iron sheets i tried to iron a sheet the other day um because i don't know why i just decided to and it was like was, like, impossible. Because you're you. That's amazing. I was like, it wasn't a full sheet. It was one of those things that goes at the end of the bed to make it look cute. And so it says, like, make sure you iron.

I was like, okay, I'm going to iron it. It's new. I'll see. And I could not fit it on my ironing board. I'm like, how do they do this on Below Deck? That's what I was literally thinking. Listen, I don't want to make you feel bad about yourself because I really love you. But Rocky can do it.

That's what I was thinking. I mean, how stupid do you feel right now? That's exactly why I felt stupid, so I need to get some tips from Kate. And by the way, if you have any questions for Kate, you can ask questions on our Patreon, and we'll ask them to Kate. Pass them on there. Okay, and in other news— And by the way, I'm sorry to interrupt. Oh, no, go ahead. It's total karma.

The other thing is that we were tweeting with Peggy from Real Houses of Orange County. She was on for one season, Peggy Tanis. She wants to come on the show, so we're going to try to make that happen as soon as possible, ideally next week. Yeah, get some Real Housewives goss. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Sorry, what were you going to say, Ron? I mean, Peggy Tannous, like, wasn't her first episode. She was in a bikini at a gun range shooting like a machine gun with her short husband in pleather pants. Peggy Tannous, love it. Let's talk. I actually really liked her on the show because she was, she went against Alexis. She was, like, friends with Alexis. And by the end of the season, she decided she hated Alexis.

And we kept on going after Jim Bellino and was like, she was calling shit out. And then. She was friends with Alexis, but by the end of the season, she decided she hated Alexis. And we kept on going after Jim Bellino. She was calling shit out. She was. What was her main thing at the end of that season? I remember it was funny. I remember she was sitting on a couch, surrounded by the women. And she was like, I don't know if I can be around these women treating me like this. What did she say?

She had postpartum depression. That was her big story. My mother still has that in the beginning of the next season when she wasn't a member she came on and sort of like said her piece and it's like i can't be around these women and yada yada yada but well i i would like to get to the bottom of that but sometimes when you're around a bunch of frustrating people you can't do that if you have a husband who owns machine guns. So, I'm just, I'm going to pull myself out of this before everybody's dead.

Okay, thank you. Good to see you. Peggy also hosted an amazing disaster of a dinner party that was probably one of the best episodes

of that season. So, I'm excited. Yeah, me too. So, that should be fun. So,

we're going to talk to a lot of fun people and I would like to apologize to Adam from Real Housewives of New York. Dude. Yeah, me too. So that should be fun. So we're going to talk to a lot of fun people. And I would like to apologize to Adam from Real Housewives of New York. Dude. Okay, we talked about your dick pic. And then maybe like two bloggers were like, oh, there's a dick pic somewhere, but we haven't seen it. Like, no one cares. And no one cares.

Like, no one's even asked. Okay, I talked to Cindy C on the case. Cindy C on the case. I talked to her on the old Facebook last night, and we were talking about the dick pic, and she didn't even ask to see the dick pic. I mean, that's... I mean, I'm assuming she's already seen it.

Raider Online wrote a whole article, and they were like, there's a major scandal rocking the real housewives of New York City, and apparently it's causing a big issue there's you know uh several insiders are saying that there is a dick pic of adam floating around that i'm like there are no several insiders it's us the picture came to us exclusively i was like you couldn't even give us credit well on the person yeah and the person who sent it which i have to give them credit too that that's not everywhere. That's pretty good. I mean, okay

look, are we being good people by protecting a dick pic? Are we withholding people who want to see a penis? Or are we just talking about something that nobody even cares about? Nobody cares, right? Everybody has a dick pic. Although I do kind of feel bad for him because now he has to live with this anxiety

of when is this going to get leaked? Because the truth is this, it's going to get leaked. If it's not by us, we're not going to. But I think it's someone else. I don't think he's worried. I mean, it's a filtered shot. Like, he put it through the fucking Instagram filter or whatever. Like, he worked on the picture.

It's not like some random snap. Yeah, it's a great bathroom. Like, and not home bathroom. Like, hotel bathroom. Beautiful hotel bathroom lighting. You know, it's like great bathroom, and not home bathroom, like hotel bathroom, beautiful hotel bathroom lighting. It's like a special over your head, like you're about to sing Sunrise Sunset. It's really a good one. So I think if anything, he'll probably be upset that no one even spread it. We're like, we have a dick pic, but who cares?

Everybody has one. Look down. You've got one, but who cares? Everybody has one. Look down. You've got one, too. Who cares? And, you know, you've got to, as sexually tied up as we are in this country, we've gotten so loose that yesterday we were talking about children, child transgendered kids, and no one even cares about a dick pic. It's like, we're moving so fast.

I love it, everybody. Let's all hug with our dicks. Let's just hug the fuck out. So today we're going to talk about the Orange County reunion. All right? We'll also talk about Vanderbilt Rules Season 4 premiere. Yay! And then we will also get involved with some Apres-ski action, which also premiered.

We almost forgot about it. Is that how you say it? Apres-ski? Apres-ski? Apres? What were you saying? Apres. Apres-ski.

Like the good old apres. And I knew that was wrong, but I just like the good old apres, you know, because Meemaw. The apres-ski. I like thinking of Carrie Underwood coming down a hill, you know, like on her Nintendo DS. I don't know. Okay, so yeah, Real Housewives. Let's start with Orange County because it's over. So bye.

Also, great season. And also a season full of such crazy shit that we've probably talked about to death, but that actually came to an amazing conclusion. I mean, there was a conclusion in a Housewives. When does that happen? Mystery solved. It was, yeah, it was kind of amazing.

It was, there was really an arc to this reunion, which I appreciated. Angela Lansbury, like, came into the middle of that tacky Marriott hotel ballroom on a bike and just passed by because that shit was solved. She was like, bye now. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. I thought it was a specter catcher but how does murder she wrote go I don't know but what I liked about it is that it sort of sounded like an Atari

victory tune like you were playing pitfall and you made it over like you made it over like the thing of alligators but it's Angela Lansbury on a bike and a fisherman's hat a gilligan's hat. And all the alligators are actually just like Tamra and Heather in a little swamp thing.

And you have to like, it's Andy Cohen running on, getting onto the vine and swinging across them. And he runs. And then the next screen, there are like little logs coming. But the logs are actually just like i don't know brianna they're like mozzarella sticks and brianna's that alligator at the end of the river just like eating the fit like eating the things that float down and i feel like you know how like in pitfall there's like that one swamp that like opens and closes and opens and closes's like, I don't know. I don't know. That's like Brooks. I would call Tamara the gaping swamp.

Yeah. She's like an alligator gaping swamp hybrid. Shannon's the little scorpion on the bottom. You know, if you go underground instead and you run through the caves, there's like a scorpion you have to jump over. If you don't, you get killed. It's like, David, David, what are you doing down here?

And Shannon's just that that little weird like bug-eyed owl sitting on the side like sitting on a branch watching everything going down and judging it deeply like oh well they fell into a pitfall hope that alligator was hungry here lies sh Bedore, just trying to walk through the jungle and falling into a pit of lies. Made by David. David, David. Why are there alligators in this pit, David? So that's pretty much the next three hours of our lives. I'm just kidding. So, so good.

40 to 50 crocodiles in my brain. And I have to admit that on that podcast, I hadn't watched it because I have mushed my brain out so much at this point that if I don't watch these things right before they happen, I forget they were ever even on TV. I'm like, who's Vicky? What? The little girl from the robot show? I'll remember things from like 30 years ago. I'm that guy. Alzheimer's.

Early onset on purpose with marijuana. Alzheimer's stunning. I watched this in the middle of the day yesterday, which was way earlier than usual for me. So that feels like it was an eternity ago. Well, we talked about it a little with Heather. And you were telling me before, because I lied to her. I was like, of course I watched it.

Which, thank God I hadn't been. Because you think the thing against carly fiorina was bad if i was in that room with her i would have been my head would have been all over the wall i would have exploded like yeah so uh anyway i hadn't watched it and i lied and i got home and i it's been a shitty week with like computer stuff and the the trash talk tv crash blah blah blah so i've been like staying up and i'm just so stressed and going crazy i bravo last night was like a gift from fucking heaven i mean real housewives followed by vanderpump rules followed followed by opera ski which opera ski which no one really seems to love on facebook and i don't know if i love it but i laughed out loud at certain parts of it. So thank you, Bravo.

You know, you're doing your part, Bravo. Yeah, I mean, we'll get to Epriski. But I think it has potential, but it also is not there yet. It's not there yet. But we'll get to that. I don't even think the people who are on the show know what they're doing yet. They're like, why are we here? The show sort of doesn't make any sense. They just it for the summer so everybody's like well i'm just

here for the summer for this startup thing and then it's over it's like what is this like summer camp like reality tv is you know we've always said on the show that reality tv is kind of like the community theater of the entertainment business it's like you know put up some shitty show that's just like a million other shitty shows. It's like do Fiddler on the Roof 30 times with different fat guys. And, you know, whichever one lasts, we'll just keep it on for an extra couple weeks.

You know? Yeah. It's like, it's one of those shows. It's like summer stock dinner theater, Bravo style. Like, you've got three months, kids. Make a good show. Bye, here's $20. It was very strange to me.

It was, I know we're getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. That's $20. It was very strange to me. It was... I know we're getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'll just mention my comment later in the podcast. That's something to keep people listening the whole way through. What will Ben say about Apres Skin? He'll be like, that coat looked like it had

moths. Oh, God. I have the moth ball in my closet right now. It's awful. Arhoc. Excuse me. I'll be extra loopy this episode because i got the moth ball fumes in my nose i'm getting loopy too when we do those bonus episodes i i'm loopy by this time already well one or two things happens when sometimes when we emerge from the bonus episode i am loopy like right now or i emerge dead to the world. Like, unfortunately, last week on our three-hour episode, I, like, did not have the energy. My brain was not in it.

And I was like, oh, my God, it's three hours. And it was. But today, I am loopy. I am a loopy person. All right. So let's get to this reunion. Our hawk. Real housewives of Unge County.

I had to write. And I haven't had a chance to do it but i wrote vine in really big letters uh shannon's shocked look dying i just want to have that i don't even need to put it on vine but i want like a little gif of shannon just making her shocked look like about this week and just use it for everything. Anything anybody says on the internet, I just want to post that back at them. Yeah. And then add the Atari sound. Every time she gets shocked. So, let's see.

Brianna still. Oh, so when we open, Brianna still has that pissed off face. Because she's just watched some Brooks Testimony and cursed out a TV screen. So, they cut back to her in Shannon's dress. Really mad. And I just started laughing. I was like, it's going to be a good night. And then Vicky officially.

Okay. So Brianna, she's still talking about why she's mad at Brooks. And she's like, well, yeah, you know, mom, like you don't believe certain things. Like when he hit on me when i was pregnant and uh it's like trying to fuck my baby's face like if he had actually had sex with me he was trying to fuck the baby's face it's like okay brianna calm down like we get it like he made a sexual comment at you on christmas but i'm trying to i'm starting to think maybe she's just fighting a little too hard and that's why vicky never believes her because it's like he hit on me he probably said yeah you know they call me girth bro think maybe she's just fighting a little too hard, and that's why Vicky never believes her. Because it's like, he hit on me.

He probably said, yeah, you know they call me Girth Brooks. And she's like, oh, my God, he's totally hitting on me. Well, I think – I see what you're saying, and the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. But I think what can be agreed upon no matter what is that whatever he said was probably pretty inappropriate. Whether he was actually hitting on her or not, it's like you don't say that to your to your to your lady's daughter but then later in the episode brianna's like well yeah me and my mom are doing great now because she's not calling me a fucking bitch all the time yeah so i mean that's the kind of family we're talking about i don't think i don't know that you're almost step dad date or whatever uh

talking about his dick is really that crazy in Orange County. Call me crazy, but I've seen a lot of this show. Yeah. So, they were talking about the Brooks stuff, and then Andy asked a question about why did Eddie cough bullshit?

This year, on The Real Housewives of Orange County, there was a mystery, and the ladies were just curious it's like this curious wacky curious mystery it's like who stole the cookies it's like cancer so i so you know what was funny correct me if i'm wrong because again i saw this 24 hours ago so that means half my details have escaped me but when when they asked us you know tamra said well at that point there'd been you know it seemed strange because he was supposed to be he looked pretty healthy for someone doing chemo whatever and then i think it was heather who jumped in and and

questioned brooks's credibility because uh at that point we then got a reference to when brooks was dating the porn star remember Remember that? Yeah. Then we get a flashback, which made me so happy, because we went back about two or three faces ago, which is what we call the seasons of this show. Face 10. No, this is face 7. It was that scene when Laurie tells Vicky at the bridal shop,

while Gretchen was on about face 3 at that point. So Laurie is like, oh, by the way, I think Brooks is dating my daughter's friend and she's like a hooker. Remember? Yes. For some reason, that flashback made me so happy. I was laughing because if you think

about it, because the way Heather tells a story is so funny. She came on this like just ready to scream at Vicky and it was so good because she was like momming her the whole time. she's like but don't you remember in that when we were shopping in that wedding store for tamra's it was tamra's dress right for tamra's wedding dress and we were talking about brooks dating a porn star i'm like okay so during tamra's wedding shopping you were talking about people fucking porn stars then Then when Tamara was getting married to Jesus, you were talking about,

or Tamara announced her married to Jesus party at a party about fucking. It's like, what is the deal with mixing Jesus and fucking on this show? It's like they're mixing weddings with just like porn star fucking. It's like that's a new trend. It's the weirdest trend. It's like, let's buy a gift for a wedding

and talk about who's boning a porn star. What else do they have to do? But, you know, the thing is, actually, that was a good point by Heather raising that about the porn star. Because, you know, Brooks, I mean, we always, obviously, we know that Brooks is shady and he's totally questionable. But we forgot that that's a great piece of evidence against him but at the time when he was totally you know screwing a girl the age of laurie's daughter and who was like maybe a stripper maybe a porn star maybe a call girl no one was really sure and i think that like vicky was like oh she was actually a poker high stakes poker waitress like why why who cares vicky she was a poker waitress like she wasn't in porn she was a poker waitress. She wasn't in porn. She was a poker waitress. It's not like she was laying on a buffet with fish all over her.

No, no, she wasn't. Listen, no, she was just a hooters waitress. You know, her name is Zola, you know, and she likes going to Florida. She's like a totally normal lady. And Brooks is like, well, damn women. It's like they want to be in the workforce and then people get mad at me. Want to hire a woman. You can't have it both ways, ladies.

Fuck off. So then Tamara starts telling a story and she goes, well, you know, a couple of years ago me want to hire a woman you can't have it both ways ladies fuck off so then so then tamra starts telling a story and she goes well you know a couple years ago when heather was doing a show in hawaii and i practically expected heather to jump out of her seat and pull up imdb and be like remember this show hawaii hawaii 50 i was a star on it remember remember thank you tamra for mentioning that yes great memory have i talked about my makeup yet? Oh, what a long day. I got hit in the face. Ha!

The face. Oh, jeez. She's like, I remember on that show when I had to solve the murder of Reba McEntire. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. That was Malibu Country. Reba was on Malibu Country,

which I also starred on, and I was asked to have a role and not, you know, just asked to do, like, a part, read a part. That's why she doesn't go off about it. Cause you see how it sounds.

She probably tried that at a dinner party once. It was like, yeah, I shouldn't do that anymore. Just say Reba and move on. All right. Alfredo bring some water. Um,

yeah, wait, so this was, so actually, so Tamara tells, tells a really interesting story. Good. This is a good juicy story.

Yeah. Do it, do it, do it. Um, so it was uh so basically a few years ago when they were in hawaii which was um was that the beginning of was that the beginning of last season or maybe it's two seasons ago they're in hawaii it was a while it

was a while ago we all remember the season that opened in hawaii and um uh brooks called up vicky and was like oh i think I got the cancer. I think I got cancer. I'm going to go get some tests to find out, you know. And so Vicky is, like, freaking out. She's freaking out. On the plane the whole way home. Tamara's like, yeah.

Understandably. We were in the plane. She was freaking out, batch. Like, crying the whole time. I'm like, oh, my God. Being with Vicky. Being stuck with fucking Vicky. you know it's like southwest airline i've been on a plane with vicky boarding room c you know that she's just stuck on that fucking plane making like going

nuts going crazy making everybody's cancer about herself go losing her fucking mind on the plane you know i have been on a transatlantic flight with vicky and waited with her at baggage claim i think i've told that before right no but i love it's already a good story what happened unfortunately it's not a story because this was in 2007 and it was it was probably about like four months before i actually started watching the real house i started watching real house Real House while I had season three. I watched a little bit of season one and season two. So I recognized her, but I didn't have any. If I had watched the show, I'd been like, oh my God, oh my God, I would have been standing near her and everything. But she went on this big trip with a bunch of women and we were so pretentious, but we all were going to Paris. And so I was in

Charles de Gaulle airport at the baggage claim, like on very little sleep standing next to Vicky and she had a shirt on that said in bedazzled I think it said Prada and I remember being like this is so bizarre but I did not get to hear that's just a classic Ben Mandelker name droppy story there's no arc to it there's nothing to it

she was probably just wearing a shirt that said Prada so that she would know Spanish everyone would think she knows Spanish when she gets to the Andalas in Paris. It's all the same to an Orange County woman. So anyway, the point of the story is this. Vicky's freaking out on the airplane, understandably.

Or even before the airplane, because Brooks won't call her back. He will not take her call. She's freaking out. They finally land and he's like, call me when you get to the car. take her call she's freaking out they finally land and he's like call me when you get to the car call me and then she gets in the car and he's like yeah it's fine and it was one of these like things where he really strung her along to make her i don't know why it was almost like sadistic yeah he does it to get attention and this whole episode was pretty much this cancer thing and so there were just all these layers and well not really were just all these layers.

Well, not really layers, but all these different. Every segment was like, okay, now it's your turn to tell Vicky off about it. So good. And Vicky came into this fully Rain Man-ing. Like, what? Toothpicks? 563 toothpicks? Toothpicks?

What? Oh, I don't remember. What? Oh, I'm sorry about that. What? I don't care. Who cares? Like, totally out of it.

She kept on taking this stance of, I don't have proof that he doesn't have cancer. That was the thing. She was like, I don't have proof, so I'm not going to say he doesn't have cancer. Which, I guess, maybe from a legal standpoint, you can't prove something that's not there. What the hell? It's like proving a negative. I mean, come on. Her scans are pat.

I don't know why I put that. Oh, that's for later. Questions from viewers. Oh, wait. I wanted to say something about this Tamara thing. Sorry. I just saw it in my notes. So this was also a glaring.

And no one pays attention. Well, they probably do. I do. But this is also a glaring admission of Tamara starting this entire cancer thing, by the way. When they were on the phone and Tamara's acting all shocked and Eddie's coughing bullshit. Like, this had been going on for so long and the whole town knew it was bullshit. And Tamara went into the season totally ready to bring it out. But as we know, Eddie will not follow tamra's subtle clues it's like the cameras are here

and you have to speak a certain way i talk about it jesus every day honey remember he's like you're a christian what you're coming out as a christian with a black dildo tied around your waist at a party that we're getting donated what are you talking about could you have told me this at breakfast you know well actually tamra did have a pretty big bombshell uh which actually this this one surprised me to tell you the truth tamra said that her very first season that she was on the show which was the first season that i watched call back to five seconds ago. She I'm sorry. It's the coffee. I just fell in the

swamp. It's short form, long form, everybody. It's a new improv style. Yeah, I know. Ben is taking on the improv craze by blending short and long. It's called schlong form. Schlong form.

So anyway, Tamara says that on her first season, which was years ago, season three, seven years ago, that she and Vicky bonded right away. And right away, Vicky informed her that she's been talking

to a guy outside of her marriage, and that she has a really special bond with him, and that he looks like he has cancer, and she's like, I think I'm going to leave Don, because this guy is so special to me,

and I don't want to lose this guy, and I don't want to waste any time that I don't have, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why sit in that living room with Don when he's calling me a dumb bitch about my new pillows and not keeping my pillows fluffed when I could be fucking a guy with cancer who's not going to be around that long to take all my money? I was like, Jesus, Brooke, what are you talking about? Stop. And also that came out in the news and stuff that she had been cheating on Don and she had been having an affair with Brooks. And it's been this whole thing that she's been lying about for years right right but the but what was what to me was interesting was that this person that that vicky was talking about with the cancer not only was it not only

was it brooks but brooks told her then that he had pancreas cancer, which then we learned from Brianna turned out to be pancreatitis. To me, I was like, whoa, those two stories about the pancreatic cancer and the pancreatitis were actually linked in this way, and that went as far back as that. So I was like, wow. Well, look, to be fair, Tamara didn't say pancreatic cancer. She said pancreatic cancer, which could be a totally different thing. She's like, I remember when Brex first told us about pain cancer. I'm like, oh, Tamara, just stop.

Just don't try it. Just write things down on a board. Have someone write it down on a board and just point at it when you need it, okay? Pastor, just have your fail words right there. Is this what happens when you decide to become super Christian in Orange County? Because Alexis Bellino was no master of the words herself.

So I guess once you decide to become super Christian, you just can't say things properly. Yeah, that's why you just believe what anybody tells you is in the Bible. You're like, yeah, but the earth is five years old. Someone read it one time. So we have a question from Patreon. Oh, Patreon.

One of our Patreon, you know, if you donate at the $5 level, you get to ask a question that we'll read on the air. This one comes from Farrah Winston, and she asks, it seems like Brooks bit off more than he could chew pretending like he had cancer. What disease should Brooks have faked instead that he could have gotten away with? Well, Lyme seems to be pretty dependable. Yeah. Lyme's, let's see.

I really do think that postpartum depression can be chronic because my mom still has it. So that could be chronic. But he didn't have a baby. But in his mind, he could in his mind he could have maybe he could have said he had a terrible it was really terrible what if he just jumped on the transgender crates that's what he should have done he's picking the wrong thing everybody has cancer now you know it's like what about crones he should have just like taken some diuretics and be like i got the crones i got the crones but he's talking to a bunch of crones no one would have pity yeah that's

true i'd be like oh we want crones yeah he jumped on the wrong the wrong thing he should have just said he was gonna identify as like an elephant or like something something just crazy so they would have to be nice you know oh yeah yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. That was, you know, maybe, yeah. Cancer, cancer was, it was, it was too big. Too big. It was, it was the, it was the, what do you call it? The white whale. Oh, well, especially when you don't even know what pancreatic cancer does.

He's like, well, you know, my knees finally feel better. What? What does that have to do? What are you talking about? Whenever they ask him about it, he like well you know my ears did get a little bit bigger with the chemo but otherwise you know my breath smells good so what do you do you know what cancer is my sense of smell is back so guess what i can go find truffles again is that a skunk or a smell of health? I don't know. You tell me. And honestly, if you've been like, you know, you got to switch it up.

You've faked the cancer a few times now. You know, you could try anything else. Anything. Bronchitis. Yeah. Even the flu. Like, people would be sympathetic, you know, but it just can't last forever. It has to be something that people can't research as easily. Like Ebola.

Or the bird flu. Like, maybe you got the bird flu and the fever won't last forever. It has to be something that people can't research as easily, like Ebola or the bird flu. Like maybe you got the bird flu and the fever won't go away. It has to be something real and something that we can get. Or a meth addiction, which is probably what you really have. Like we'd really feel for you if you had something real. I pick any of your picks. Go get something, darling. I mean, there's rusty nails everywhere. Step on one, get something real, and call us.

We'll feel bad for you, but at least have the balls to get a real disease. All right? Infect yourself if you want the pity. Don't just fake it. If you want a disease, go get a disease, and we'll all feel bad for you the proper way. Like, no need to make us all feel like an asshole. Yeah, I agree. You know, there's just so many options out there.

You just can't do the cancer when you have people like Shannon Medora on the case. Or Megan King Edmonds. How could you treat me like that at a party when Leanne died? I had just written her name on the back of a dresser. It's like, really? Stop. Please stop it. Please stop with your weird fake

tears about someone else's ex-wife stop it you're making me crazy with this already i'm not saying she shouldn't be sad i'm just saying like stop you know he's using fake cancer is his cause and she's using like she's it's too much it's too much yeah and this is a great time to mention on our Facebook page, H. Lee Hamilton posted on our page something from Reddit from user C. Cerulean. So Brooks showed his chemotherapy bill. I guess was it on when Andy was questioning him? I don't remember. But so this is Internet justice at its best. Brooks shows a chemotherapy

bill and then someone, this Reddit user, did a Google image search for chemotherapy bill and the first thing that popped up was something identical to Brooks. Brooks basically copied and pasted something he found. The very

first Google image search. I mean, I love, by the way, that I love this sleuthing. I mean, we have, you know, making King Edmonds is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to justice and knowledge seekers because, I mean, this guy is so shady. He is so bad. And he's not even good about it.

I mean, it's almost like good people, like, don't fake cancer. It's just, it's like intelligent people don't fake cancer. Or something. Like you'd think. I mean, what the hell? If you're gonna fake cancer, why don't you take that extra step to, like, shave your head and, like, wax your head to make people think you've lost your, like, there's just some simple things you could do. and wax your head to make people think you've lost your... There are just some simple things you could do. Yeah, you don't go spray tan

and then show up drunk to shooting to pretend that you're having cancer or whatever. Yeah, it's just not the time. It's not the time to get a personal trainer. You know what I mean? Like the girl I know who faked cancer, she's like, just finished chemo. And she...

Well, maybe... I'm sure she's not listening to this. But then she's like a bodybuilder she becomes a bodybuilder and she's like this crazy bodybuilder but saying she's just come out of chemo it's like what wait a second wait a second you're humongous like what if you it's just things just don't add i'm not talking like someone who works out and stays healthy i'm talking those like covers of magazines bronzed veiny terminator looking people you know yeah it's just so two nuts two nuts people are two nuts and you know what there's nothing you can do about people's

craziness except laugh because yeah it just gets so funny and when you feel like you're being judgmental and you're a jerk it's probably because you're right because we are judgmental and you're a jerk, it's probably because you're right. Because we are judgmental jerks and we were right. He's been faking it this whole fucking time. And we were also right that Vicky knew. And also right that she's going to use this as an abuse storyline. These bitches are just so fucking predictable. I can't and still love it. So, okay.

So Brooks, so Andy, we're back to another, more of the Brooks interview and Andy's talking to him. And Brooks says that, you know, he's been in treatment for 11 months. He's been on chemo and holistics. And guess what? His lesions are gone, which, of course, made all the women just be like, of course, of course. Just as they operated, like, oh, guess what?

Like, it's gone. Yay. Clear as steel. How convenient. Clear as steel did it. You know, at the end of the day, a little witch hazel on a little cotton round just right over your face you know maybe use a little sugar if you got a packet lying around you look smooth as smooth as health um so then uh so then andy asked why didn't brooks

see shannon's doctor this this very famous uh notable doctor at city of hope and his response is well she's not the only one who who has world-renowned doctors i'm like what sort of response is that and he said it in that way like well she's not the only one with world-renowned doctors oh really you've got like world-renowned doctors lining up outside your rental trailer get the fuck out of here how many how many world-renowned doctors did you meet this week you idiot you that's not even an answer he wasn't even like oh i didn't ask because it's like you know you know to megan's credit she has a point like if you have cancer you know for the most part if you are you know unless you're like you know a senior citizen who's like you know what take me now but if you're a brooks's age

and you're like fighting for your life you don't just cherry pick like well you know he's a good doctor thing but i'll do i think you see everyone right you see everyone under this i mean i would he doesn't even crazy jewish person i mean he's just such a fucking liar he's he's got himself in things where he just figured no one would question cancer. And he just never came up with the lies. I mean, he's so stupid. And even now when he's doing all of these interviews, he still doesn't come up with lies. His answers are like, well, we all got world-renowned doctors, so there you go. It's like that's not really an answer.

Or his answers are like, well, fuck you then. Good answer. fuck you then good answer and andy was so funny because look he's used to like ripping people's lives to shreds and then like laughing as they glow the embers glow on the floor of terrible terrible marriott ballrooms okay he's not gonna like suddenly start worrying about you because of your fake cancer and brooks was so pissed at andy the whole time i was dying and andy just kept his normal well that seemed like a weird answer are you angry it was actually yeah it was amazing i love when it was so good it's like you seem confused and it's like yeah kind of well because then brooks explains um

what happened about newport imaging why like ifport Imaging doesn't do this stuff, then why does he have it? He's like, well, you see, I went to Hoag, and my oncologist works at both Hoag and Newport Imaging, so I got the scan at Hoag, and then he dictated it through Newport Imaging, and that's why it looks like that. And, of course, you will get back to that later. And I parked at the TJ Maxx in the back, and they made me manager. I worked at the TJ Maxx in the back, and they made me manager. And I got a couple weeks off because I had cancer. Who's going to make a manager pick clothes up off the floor? That's what I ask you.

And he's like, wait a second. And he's like, did you really go to Hoag? He's like, no, I went to Hoagie King, and he got a sandwich. All right, you got me. He's like, no, but I watched Driving Miss Daisy, and I think that's the chauffeur's name. So just used it. I didn't even know that was a hospital. I was just trying to say I called an Uber. This has been a giant misunderstanding because

Vicky's a liar. And then I think Andy at this point asks about well you've had a bunch of cancer scares in the past what's going on with that? Well you see the first time I had something on my nose,

and I thought I had nose cancer. So I was breaking up with this girl, and I said, oh, yeah, and on top of everything else, I think I have nose cancer. And so then she went and told everyone, and then I called her back. I was like, no, don't have nose cancer. I just thought I did. And she made it into a big deal. And then my other girl, Lynn, she's my baby mama, if you will.

I'm like, don't do that, Brooks. Don't do that. She's like, and then she was just, you know, they decided to get together. And then they came up with another one. You know how women are. They get together. And before you know it, you're accused of terrorism and sitting in a cell somewhere. No one knows your name.

Oh, jeez. Accused of terrorism and sitting in a cell somewhere no one knows your name. Oh, jeez. It's like those damn women. You know now that the blog is giving women free speech, the whole world's done. Get ready, men. They're coming for you. Get ready.

They're going to fix your teeth and then make you look like a fool after. And you're just going to stand there like a fool with teeth. Is that what you want? Brooks, please be quiet, Brooks. His answer's for everything. Andy asked him at one point, so, Brooks, I guess what you want? Brooks, please be quiet, Brooks. His answer's for everything. Andy asked him at one point, so Brooks, I guess what's confusing is why don't you ever see a real doctor? What about the records?

And Brooks goes, whatever. That's his answer. Yeah, and then he gets real snippy and he's like, well, what about the pancreatitis? And so Brooks grabs water, which he does a million times. I mean, he could not have looked any shadier. His upper lip is curling. He's trying to give a southern charm, but he cannot stop his upper lip from curling in anger.

He goes, it's another lie, and I never talked to Brianna directly about my cancer. She got that information from Vicky who got it wrong. Get that? Get that? Vicky's a wrong. Get that? Get that? Vicky's a liar. Get that? You better take a seat, Mr. Brooks. I never said anything to her.

I said it to my dick, and girth told her. And then she got all upset and blamed me. And I'm sick of girth getting me in trouble. Listen, I don't make the $10 an hour he does shooting jizz in people's face. And I shouldn't have to take the trouble for it neither, mom. Brooks. Yeah, he's mom brooks and i like when andy said so what are the treatments that you've he's like so brooks i'm kind of confused so you did get treatment just not at uh just not at newport imaging and he's like no i went to olin

mills and besides getting a lovely picture of myself and my spray tan, I also got some chemo. You know, the normal rams and things. Chemo, queso, chemo. A lot of things that were holistic. Yeah. My numbers are normalized, and you know how it is. Every day we look at my numbers, and they're starting to look pretty. It's like, what are you talking?

It's like the stock market. He's like, well, the numbers are up today. Those cancers are sure going crazy today. No bread for me. Please just stop pretending. I know. He's like, well, the numbers are up today. Those cancers are sure going crazy today. No bread for me. Please just stop pretending. I know. He's ridiculous. So then I believe we came back, the reunion.

Oh, wait, one more thing. This is a person who obviously didn't have a TV in their trailer because everybody's seen House. Like, for Christ's sake, man, copy a disease off of House. Okay, that's all. So then there was more discussion. I think, like, well, Vicky, did you, was he seeing anyone, like a doctor? They're talking about doctors.

And Vicky says that Brooks was seeing Dr. Vandermoon, which already started to make me laugh that there's a Dr. Vandermoon out there. And then Heather gets mad. She goes, you know what? He never saw Dr. Vandermoon. You want to gets mad. She goes, you know what? He never saw Dr. Vander Moon. You want to know how I know? Because he lives down the street from me.

I love this Vander Moon controversy. And I like that Dr. Vander Moon's like gossiping about who he's seeing too. And he's also just like a famous Dr. Moon who's like fucked a Vander Pump. That's so cute. He's like, I don't know your disease, but let us figure something out new, my darling.

But by the way, another great, like, it was just, as you mentioned before, this whole episode of people chipping away at Vicky. And it was like, here's Heather. It's like, nope, that's a lie. And I can tell you, because I spoke to him, and he's never talked to, he's never seen, you know, Brooks once. And Heather kept talking to her like she does that way when people are five. She's like, look, I'm going to explain this to you in a way that your five-year-old tits can understand okay we don't believe brooks has cancer because people with cancer die and brooks is not dead okay do you understand if it's like okay i'm sorry you know you know i'm sorry and then they were so

when they were showing those clips, every time they showed a clip of Brooks, Vicky was going, oh, I'm just disgusted. This is disgusting that he would be. Like, oh yeah, such a huge shock that he's disgusting. Like, give me a break. He wasn't disgusting when you guys were both cheating on your fucking spouses and fucking each other.

That wasn't disgusting. Like, why is it disgusting now? And I'm sorry, but I stand by, I know that it's totally harebrained. But after watching this, it solidifies in my mind that this is Vicky's fucking idea in the first place. Because I don't believe for one second that she didn't know and that she didn't try and use this for everything she can. She's speaking out for detox. For Christ's sake, woman. She didn't try and use this for everything she can.

She's speaking out for detox, for Christ's sake, woman. I actually don't think it was her idea, but I do think that she turned a blind eye towards it. She probably knew at first she was like, oh, no, he has cancer. Then she probably was like, something is fishy here. But I think she just put her head in the sand, which is why we're just getting ahead of ourselves a little bit, which is why she didn't go in to see him do chemo. I think she wanted to have plausible deniability because I think she wanted people to... I think she saw it as a chance for

people to be sympathetic towards him and maybe... Well, she said straight up. She said straight up that that's what she did it for. Because it got to the point where she said... Wait, hold on. He said, Brooks said to Andy, I never said nothing to Brianna.

Vicky told her wrong. You get that? Yeah. People think you lie about cancer for sympathy. And then later in the episode, well, after saying, I'm so glad it's over after this segment, Vicky does say straight up,

well, you know, I kept it. Yes, I thought he was lying, but I just told you these lies because uh i knew i was lying about the terry call and all of this stuff but i was just telling you that because i wanted to have some sympathy for him it's like oh my god thank you for just proving everything and it's like does she not know what she's saying i i don't know if she just got dragged into it and muttered it out and didn't know right but what i'm what i'm saying is slightly different which is that i well in that she was saying specifically about the terry story she was like yeah i fabricated that because i wanted some compassion because people

were not being nice to him and i think when that in that case she specifically lied because she felt like she just wanted people to stop ganging up on him and just feel bad for him. But I think that overall, though, it's not so much that she knew concretely. She wasn't actively creating this whole lie. But I think she wasn't fighting against it. I think she was like, you know what? Something's not adding up here, but I just want to have plausible deniability when it all shakes out. That's a vibe that I get.

Well, I would kind of be with you. Like a mob wife. Like a mob wife. Yeah. I would kind of be with you except that she has lied so much and she lies about everything and then even lies in the same sentence. And even when they're calling her out on lying, she's lying again and then admitting to just lying right now. It's like she's lying so so much i don't believe her and also when she said uh she knew that brooks had cancer on the plane right and then he didn't have cancer and then he got cancer again and he wouldn't show you the records and your excuse is oh well you know i work i'm very busy you know i'm very smart yeah you know i am very smart and i'm busy and so we live in the same house so what

am i supposed to you know just say oh give me. And so we live in the same house. So what am I supposed to, you know, just say, Oh, give me your results. Cause we live in the same house. I mean, you know, we're just roommates.

Like you don't have to share your, I'm like, no bitch. No one is suggesting that it's like, it's your turn to buy the paper towels and show me your cancer receipts. No, that's like, stop pretending you don't know what's going on.

And then her turning this into abuse suddenly, like within three weeks, now it's abuse. And then Brianna, I don't trust her either because Brianna is making like within three weeks. Now it's abuse. And then Brianna, I don't trust her either because Brianna's making too much of a big deal out of it and saying he's beating her. We're getting ahead of the whole episode, though. Oh, okay. Sorry.

So getting back to where we were in the episode. So there's all this stuff happening, Dr. Van the Moon and all that stuff. And then – It's a non-cologist. Why would you go to a non-cologist? She was waiting to use that line. I know. She had that one written down. She was so excited.

She's like, like a professional, I have a rubber band on my wrist. So if I forget to say that line, I'll snap myself and then I'll remember it. The rain in Spain falls mainly into flight. Oh, wait. One more thing. Vicky goes, hey, you know, the doctor would have testified, but he didn't want to go on camera. And Heather said that's why she knows. Here's why I know that's a lie, because there is not a doctor in Orange County who doesn't want to go on camera.

So cut the shit, Vicky. Yeah. So then because Megan had not made this about herself in a while, she then jumps in. She's like, you had the audacity to yell at me and he was faking cancer and you knew it. You yelled at me. I'm like, okay, Meg. When I came on this show,

I thought I had an ally in cancer and you were mean to me. An ally in cancer, really? She's like, I thought we were going to totally be best friends. Because you know cancer. You know, like two people who know people who have cancer like they're just naturally friends like don't you watch the nature

channel like what are you talking about that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard we have an ally in cancer because we're both not fighting cancer wow way to go hey i really like watching you know commercials about mattresses and you do too oh my god let's get married she's also naive to think that if you have like the blockbuster cancer storyline and someone else comes in like hey i've got the blockbuster storyline too that you're gonna be allies no you guys are competing for who has the best cancer storyline for like sympathy i thought my cancer was gonna get the 11 o'clock number and here we are talking about your cancer so um my favorite part then was then shannon now enters the ring and this is like it was like the my cousin vinnie moment where she pulls out the papers and she's like let the court

know and she she's like i've had many cat scans and newport imaging and they don't look like that and so then she pulls out her own pet scan document and she's like, I've had many CAT scans at Newport Imaging, and they don't look like that. And so then she pulls out her own PET scan document, and she's like, this is the template. This is the template they've been using. David, David, do you use a template with your mistresses? David, David. I went there yesterday. I was just there yesterday because I thought, well, you know, it's on my mind. So I'm going to Newport.

I'm going. I had a tangerine. I thought, time for a PET scan. Make sure everything's... Well, you know, I've had a lot of colonoscopies recently, and I want to just make sure... Colonics. I want to make sure there's nothing else up there. So, you know, PET scan time. There was a People magazine

on the seat in the waiting room, and it's inside of me right now. I'm reading about Ben and Kate's possible re-getting back together. Well, you know how if you go into certain bars, how you can buy a mug, and they keep the mug there for you, and every time you get a drink, you know how if you go into certain bars, how you can buy a mug and they keep the mug there for you and every time you get a drink, you can pour up that drink into that mug.

Well, it's sort of like the same thing there, except I have my own PET scan machine at Newport Imaging. It's called the Shannon Bedore. It's like that Instagram machine we saw at Heather's studio. These people were bringing her Instagram machine for parties or whatever. I guess she's going to plug it on her show.

You know, ad people do that. And I was thinking of those, just those photo booths and stuff. But it's just like for whatever illness you want. Thanks for coming to my birthday. Okay, it says you have cancer. Have a fun week. Party favors. Let's all get our scans.

And he's like, what? I scanned my pet. It's very important to do to make sure they haven't eaten a Diet Coke can or something. Those things can ruin their insides. Well, I just loved how Shannon pulls out this thing. And then she's guiding everyone. She was totally doing the courtroom scene for my cut. I mean, she really was.

She's pointing. She's like, over here on the left, this is where they put their name. And on the right, they put their invoice number there. And Brooks had neither of those things. put their name. And on the right, they put their invoice number there, and Brooks had neither of those things. And on top of that, Hoag is a huge institution, and they would never, ever, ever

let those sort of typos go through. They would never do that. They got approved by radiologists, and it was... Hoag has never driven an old lady anywhere. That is a patent lie! And furthermore, I called the lady who transcribed it, and she told me that when they transcribe, it is double-checked, triple-checked, quadruple-checked, check, check, checked.

I have a list of all the times it's been checked. And nowhere does it say they would allow a word that's 175 letters long. Nowhere. And the tire treads on this photo do not match your Buick. Where's the payphone? If I had a payphone, I'd call cancer and say, cancer, where's your payphone? Andy, I would like you to know that I drove from Hogue to Newport Imaging, and it took me 15 minutes with rush hour traffic. And there's absolutely no way that Brooks' oncologist could get from Hogue to Newport Imaging in eight minutes to do the dictation.

I'm sorry. Well, I have a helicopter that a friend has so i borrowed my friend's helicopter and i was thinking about brooks having cancer and i forgot what i was saying but my friend has a helicopter that's all thanks heather thanks for coming yeah let me explain why shannon feels this way because she called and on call, thank you for the narration, Heather. She was like, okay, for all the people who don't understand what's

going on, a person who transcribes things writes them down. And Tamara's like, gross, bat! She does that! So then we go back for some more Brooks. And there's more contradictions that Andy's calling him on. And Andy's like, why so many contradictions?

And he's like, you have to ask Vicky. I'm like, total deflection once again. And then, of course, the biggest moment was when he says, well, hey, do you have anything to say to Megan? He goes, fuck off and he just goes and he just goes that's concise and he's like you're never gonna get a book deal with an answer like that you need to make that into 10 chapters uh this whole you you want to know the truth he was sick that's the truth uh so i took him to – he got sick. Wait, what were they saying? She's like – this is the scene right after that, I think.

Wait, wait. There's one – okay, but there's one other thing that – the last thing in the Brooks interview, I'll say, and then we get to what you're saying. Oh, no. Sorry. I'm skipping over. No, it's okay. I'll call Terry. Oh, the Terry story.

Andy was like – he said that Brooks should reach out to Terry, and Brooks is like, okay. I should – well, first he's like, well, why don't you reach out to Terry? He bruce is like okay uh i should well he's first he's like well why don't you reach out to me like i should have and then he's like well you still can he's like okay i'll reach out to him and he just gives andy such a look like you're not gonna go along why aren't you like down with this story bro like why are you poking holes at my story like what the fuck are you doing to me andy like i'm giving you good why are you doing this to me he also showed like his evil undercurrent. Because Brooks has really done a good job at staying calm through all this.

I mean, of course he's lying and he's a pig and he's disgusting and blah, blah, blah. But for the most part, he's really kept up his used car salesman slash greeting card writer shtick. And he has not lost it. And we really saw that mean undercurrent in him this time he was just mean and it was so good yeah and i have to say uh and i don't want to jump ahead but like when we get to all the brooks is abusive or whatever like i might you know i might have been like well whatever but like when you saw that evil side of him i believe that he's verbally abusive absolutely now yeah well so was vicky

vicky calls her daughter a fucking bitch and probably screams at people like crazy can you imagine being around vicky they're probably two crazy abusive assholes they probably smacked each other around called each other names cheated on each other like they're probably awful it's vicky and brooks for christ's sake like like gross. And this whole thing. Let's not forget, by the way, that they were involved in some crazy lawsuit because of the stuff that they well showed. You know, like just trouble all over there. The business that they're trying to steal from the – oh, yeah. It's been some good shit with Vicky.

And so Vicky has learned to just shut up or take Xanax, whatever. But whatever is working for her. But this whole thing, I keep skipping not to try and rush but because they talk about the same thing over and over and i keep thinking we've already talked about it but we haven't but uh even though we have but um i liked that shannon was being so upset with everything but her legs were crossed and she was giving this really snooty look and her spanks were like totally hanging out and i just thought come on i can't like we all wear them but i cannot take you seriously i can't take your anger seriously when your spanks are

showing like stop and um then this is leading into something i swear to god not just spanks the filming of the doctor okay so then it's past that now and now they're like oh wait you were in city of hope because vicky goes into this whole thing about how brooks was really sick and vomiting one day and so that's why she said i'm gonna call terry because he's a doctor you know i mean he gave me part of gretchen's chin so you know let's call him let's call him and brooks is like no don't no doctors no doctors so she's like okay well but then i guess i wanted to call him so bad that it felt like I did call him. And so then in my mind, I just, maybe I just said I called him because I thought I did.

And Shannon's like, no, you said that you were worried and you called him and that they came by with an IV and stuck it in Brooks's ear. Which I thought sounded weird, but I trusted you because we're friends. And it just went, it just gets worse and worse, like her lies. And then she's like, I had to take him to the er and so he went in there and you know while they were fixing his stomach they fixed his chemo or whatever and he came out with chips on his mouth but while i was waiting i wanted to go in there but they wouldn't let me because you know city of hope doesn't film and everybody in there is like we've shot scenes at city of hope yeah like everybody's shot at city of Hope, which is just so hilarious.

You can imagine just those poor fucking, like, kids who were trying to be entertained by the terrible clowns, like, finally getting smiles on their faces when these idiots walk past. You know, like, what's wrong with them? Why are they here? And what happened to their faces, mommy? Yeah.

No, I mean, Vicky, everything was falling apart at this point at this point this is when vicky admitted that she fabricated the terry story this is when she said well she didn't actually wash the chemo but she was in the waiting room doing works and she never poked her head in and all this stuff and tamra's like well everybody goes in to watch chemo batch like they have family rooms or like you like go and you like watch chemo together. I'm like, Tamara, please. Eddie and I are opening up a new place called Cut Chemo. Because, you know, like, sometimes you want to do your spin class while you're watching your kid get chemo. It's like, what are you talking about? What is this family?

She's making it sound like this big Chuck E. Cheese where people are playing skeeball, getting chemo, filling up a pitcher of beer. Like, you don't even know how to pronounce chemo. Shut up. Yeah. Please stop. So then at this point, now the women have, they've brought Vicky to the place

where she's admitted she's lied about at least one thing. And now they are, now they're going on to, now they have a new talking point, which is we think Brooks has something on you because you're too smart to be playing this dumb. Like he has something on you. He has something on you. That're too smart to be playing this dumb. Like, he has something on you. He has something on you.

That was Heather, totally. And you know what, Heather? Good call. And also, Heather, you already know what it is, so just tell us. Because you know all these bitches already know what it is. And they're keeping it in for her. Well, then this is when it segues into that Vicky says she's scared. Andy made her. Andy goaded her into it. she's scared. Like, well, like. Andy made her.

Andy goaded her into it. Andy's saving his bacon, his literal bacon right now. He's like, are you scared of Brooks? And Vicky does that, like, nod thing that she does. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, at first she looks confused, like, scared of Brooks. And then he's like, are you scared? Are you terrified of Brooks beating your face in? And she's like, oh, yeah. And then all the girls are like, oh, he's like, are you scared? Are you terrified of Brooks beating your face in?

And she's like, oh, yeah. And then all the girls are like, oh, he's blackmailing. Oh, he must have been abusive. Oh, this and that. And then Brianna's like, yeah, well, he abused you in front of me. He physically abused you in front of me. Really, Brianna, if he physically fucking abused her in front of you and you let her stay there, you're full of shit. That did not happen.

And shaking some, I mean, look look I'm not standing up for Brooks but I don't like being more dramatic about something like that like domestic violence I'm a little I have a different take on it than you do because Brianna was saying it was physical abuse and Vicky was like no it wasn't Vicky was actually denying that it was

physical abuse she was just like oh he just shook my shoulders it was fine and she was like what that that it was physical abuse. She was just like, oh, he just shook my shoulders. It was fine. And she was like, what? That's crazy. It's not like he was beating the crap out of me in an outhouse. She said something like that. I don't think it was. I actually don't think it was a situation where Vicky was exaggerating.

Brianna was. They're all goading her. They're all handing her an abuse storyline. They're handing her a lifeline made out of fake abuse. Well, the shaking the shoulders is sort of interesting because he wasn't shaking a woman he wasn't shaking a woman he was shaking a vicky we're not talking about like abuse against all women or abuse we're talking about shaking fucking vicky when she's probably going crazy at you and screaming about how she did not have sex

with multiple partners okay but but but for real, it does raise, you know, this is where it's sort of interesting because some people may think shaking is just like, oh my God, just like shaking some sense to someone. Other people see that as abuse. So who knows where it is? But the point is they had a shitty relationship and that's for sure.

And I do think that he is manipulative. Vicky is no innocent person in this, but Brooks actually seems to be. Vicky is no innocent person in this, but Brooks actually seems to be... Vicky's worse. Vicky's worse because she's not only not innocent, she's obviously complicit in all of it. I think Brooks is worse. Oh, no. Vicky's worse.

Okay, look. If you pass some crazy meth head on the street, you're passing him on the street, you know he's just going to steal from you, lie, but you're horny, so you bring him home. And then you bring him into your entire family's life and you bring him around your kids and you fucking ruin everything and then start lying and spreading all these things it's in favor of him that's your fault like i'm not gonna in bonnie and clyde i'm not gonna feel bad for bonnie like fuck that fuck her like she was with him i i don't think you get like a

pass once you've made this decision and you fucked with everybody else and told all these lies and now suddenly you're gonna get some sympathy no bitch and you're not getting a casserole either so well i'm not saying that she should be forgiven for what she did but i think that i think that brooks is slimer than she is so either way way, so this is when Vicky was doing this thing about like she wants people to come over and be supportive or whatever. And Chad's like, keep it going, Vicky. Keep it going.

Keep it going, Vicky. Keep it going, Missy. Keep going, Miss X 30-year-old. Miss 53-year-old. Miss 30-year-old 30 years ago. Keep on going. Keep on. Keep on making me do math.

So then there was this, like, really funny thing where, I guess they played this clip where Tamara said, you're lying and if you lie, you're going to go to hell. And then, and then, and he was like, are you going, are you going to hell? And she's like, no, I've been saved. I've been saved. Oh, I've been saved. And've been saved. Oh, I've been saved. And then she raises her arm in the air. Because that's how, like, Vicky's waiting.

It's either a high five or, like, a little underarm jiggle from Jesus. I don't know what she's waiting for. But she keeps raising that underarm flap like something's going to happen. Jesus is, like, shaking his head. He's like, put your arm down, please. And then they were like, and I think that Andy then asked Tamara like well do you think she's going to hell and then Megan Jumson is like well according to

Tamara's statement and everything that's been said today you're going to hell and then she's like I'm not going to hell I'm not going to hell I'm not saying you are I'm just saying that if there's a question on the SAT that's how I'd answer cause knowledge shut up Megan that hell fight was so fun.

I'm not going to hell. Oh, Jesus loves me. I'm going to go to heaven. And Tamara's like, I don't know, because hell, bitch. She's like, nope, nope, not going to hell. It was an argument about who's going to hell and who's not. Do people really know who's going to go to hell? Stop. And Megan's sitting there doing semantics.

Well, the logic is, if Tamara says the reason to go to hell is because you lie, and because you lied, therefore, you're going to hell. I'm just saying what logic is, because knowledge and truth and justice. Who are you going to hang out with in heaven? I mean, Brooks is going to be in hell. Where are you going to get dick? Because Vicky's whole thing is, oh, okay, I did it. Because, you know, I was hurt and I was lonely, you know, being married to Dan.

You know, all I did was puff up, you know, discount pillows and get called a dumb bitch. You know, so I just, know all i did was puff up you know discount pillows and get called a dumb bitch you know so i i just i okay i did it for the dick it's like that's your admission is that you did it for the dick oh my god vicky please so then uh now shannon starts getting mad at vicky about uh you know about how randa ronda went and told everyone about the the affair yada yada yada which is is ridiculous for Shannon to be so upset. But I love her indignation because no one does indignation like Shannon. She's like, for her to announce in the middle of a baptism of all places, no remorse, no remorse.

Loved it. Baptism. I mean, that's a place we go to almost drown babies. How dare you, Missy? I may be one day at a gastropub, but I mean, that's a place we go to almost drown babies. How dare you, Missy? I may be one day at a gastropub, but I mean, at a baptism? We're already worried about poor Tamara drowning. And then you bring this up, Missy? I mean, first thing I see is I look at the table,

I see all these hors d'oeuvres, and I see nothing but sugar and fat. And then in the middle of all this, and a baptism? I mean, this is... You know what, David? David, just get me out of here. I have one question for that pool. Where's the dragon?

Did Jesus never fly anywhere? Okay, let's talk about that over some drinks that are specially made by someone David didn't sleep with, who I hired to work the bar. I mean, I could have, you know, I was having a wonderful day, only 30 to 40 negative thoughts, and you brought it right up to 70 to 80. 70 to 80, right there. Do you know how hard I was staring at the clouds before I came in here? Very hard. Another little trend from this. Oh, well, first I have to say, Megan saying, Vicky going, well, you know, I just continue to lie because I didn't want to look like an idiot.

You know, I mean, if he's lying, then I look stupid. And Megan goes, you already look like an idiot. She's like, I'm not an idiot. I'm very smart. How dare you? I'm smart. She's like, well, I'm just saying, like, you may be smart, but you look like an idiot about cancer. She's like, no, how dare you?

I'm cancer smart. I'm cancer smart. Take it back. Oh, my God. Now it's like going from who's going to hell to who's really stupid. And they're like, why did you lie? They're like, Vicky, why did you lie? And she's like, well, you know what?

You have to understand my place. You know, it was a tough – I was in a tough place, and my mother had just died or whatever. And Megan's like, losing your mother doesn't make you lie about other things. That's not an excuse. Haley lost her mother, and she still had to go to school for two hours every other week you don't get to just sit down there's not a like a special like electric seat at walmart for people you know just because her mom died okay you still have to walk through walmart get out of the aisles vicky it's like oh none of you have lost a mother yet oh my god so here you go using your mother's death again

to get yourself out of hot water this woman is like seriously bottom of the barrel and the fact that she can't see it at all honestly makes me like her even more i know that's so fucking sick because the people that we or that i've at least like legit hated who can raise my my blood pressure just from talking about them. I've never felt that way with Vicky. I think she's a liar. I don't believe one thing she says. I think she's crazy.

I think she ruins everybody around her life. But I still like her. I really do. You know what? Good TV is good TV. So then once again, now they're questioning Vicky again. And she's like, well, I don't know. I don't have proof that he has cancer.

They're like, well, what does your gut tell you? What does your gut tell you? And then she finally says, my gut tells me he doesn't have it. It was like, hallelujah, finally. But only because I saw him eat a piece of bread and the cancer didn't even burp after. I mean, you know the cancer would have loved that.

One of my favorite trends in this is how everybody's big thing with Vicky is me and Terry have always been Brooks' biggest supporters. So, you know, you can't say that we're not big supporters of Brooks. We've always loved Brooks. Look at those jerseys we had made for Brooks. We love Brooks. Rah, rah, Brooks. So, you know

it's like watching your team fake cancer and then shannon i love brooks i have always supported brooks when anybody said cancer i said brooks i mean what else do you want me to huh no one's cheered you on like me i was cheering on brooks from the you guys are not stopping they make it sound like they're like these huge supporters of poor little starving children in Africa who turned out to be, you know, like fat adult American males just like living off the money. Like, get out of here, Sally Struthers. You didn't do anything. You're biggest supporters. Shut up.

Serious sound. Well, I just wanted a casserole. So then they break for commercial, but the show keeps going because everyone goes like, Heather's like, this shoe hurts. It's too small for me. She goes hobbling off. And then Tamara and Vicky are sitting on a couch, and Tamara starts giving Vicky a pep talk. And like, don't let him control you, blah, blah, blah.

And Vicky's like, I fell in love hard. I fell in love hard, really hard. And Tamara's, you know, Tamara's doing his whole like, no, don't let him control you. Don't be scared of him. Don't be afraid. Be you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And Tamara's like, I knew he was a dipshit from the beginning. From the beginning. And Vicky's like, why didn't you tell me? I was like, oh my god.

I was ready to shake Vicky then. Call me an abuser. I was ready to blah, blah, blah, blah. To me, this little segment was... Abuse! This, to me, this little segment was... That was the sound of me shaking her. Abuse! This, to me, was the 700 Club audition for Tamara. She's sitting with perfect posture with her little triangle thing in the middle of her head because her face has been pulled back so far under her terrible plastic weave.

Sorry, Tamara. But, you know, like cone head thing in the back. Square head. Love it. And she's sitting perfectly 700 Club. Like, welcome to the 7-Eleven Club, bitch. Jesus loves you. Your boyfriend's terrible. And Vicky's like,

I know, but once you invest in teeth, you don't just throw them away. It's like buying a Cadillac and just leaving it in the parking lot of a Kmart. You know, you gotta drive it! What's the point of having a Cadillac? This whole thing of Tamara trying to be the sweet sensible one who

everybody's only thought that Tamara was mean because of Brooks this whole time and then there's a segment later where Tamara's screaming you everybody for three years have thought I'm an evil bitch because of what I said and now it turns out

I'm right no Tamara you're still an evil bitch you'm an evil bitch because of what I said and now it turns out I'm right. No, Tamara. You're still an evil bitch. You were an evil bitch three years ago. Brooks being stupid and evil does not make you not evil, okay? There's not like two evils don't make a non-evil, if that makes any sense. You're still a bitch. Don't

get this confused. You're not forgiven because Brooks faked cancer, idiot. Exactly. You're forgiven the bitch. Like, don't get this confused. You're not forgiven because Brooks faked cancer, idiot. Exactly. You're forgiven because you prayed. So then pretty much, you know, at that point the show started to wrap up. We saw a little bit that was funny where Tamara refused to say the word pastor because she thought it was a reference to, like, Tacos al Pastor. She's like, is that a taco bitch? a reference to, like, Tacos Al Pastor.

She's like, is that a taco, bitch? This started because Andy's like, hey, Denise from Dilly Dally Duluth wants to know, Tamara, do you actually go to church? She's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm, like, really busy, bitch, because, like, we're doing this new Pilates hip-hop yoga class, and so, like, I haven't been able to concentrate, but, you know, thank God for the internet, because Pastor Rick is there, and um so like i haven't been able to concentrate but you know thank god for the internet because pastor rick is there and they're like uh his name is pastor mike she doesn't even

know his name and she's going to church on the internet i mean come on and then she's like i don't want to say that because it's like calling him a taco a mexican taco she's like pastor you know those tacos like no she's saying pastor you know but you're like no she's like yeah it's like Mexicans eat them you know pastors and Heather goes well I guess I've been going to the wrong hot dog stand

or the I've been going to the wrong taco stand which just cracks me up imagining Heather pulling up to a taco stand like alright Terry get out and untie Colette from the taco stand we're cracks me up imagining heather pulling up to a taco stand like all right terry get out and untie colette from the taco stand it's time to take her home so that pretty much was he doesn't deserve me i'm a good catch tamra goes to church online heather apparently i didn't go to the right taco stand goodbybyes. Oh, so the goodbyes. So Andy's like, guys, this was really fun. Meanwhile, during this really intense scene with Tamara and Vicky, he's texting the whole time I was dying.

So he's like, okay, everybody, now it's time where we talk about everything that nobody will ever learn ever from being on these shows. Okay, who wants to go first? And everybody went in order. And they were like, well, Andy, it's been a great year. I want to say, Vicky, I don't believe you. I've never believed you. And I'm really happy about my new house. And then Shannon,

Well, I'm glad that David is at home. I have a chip implanted in his neck. And Vicky, I do not believe you. Tamara's like, I love Jesus, bitch! Eddie's still hot. He shaved his nuts this morning. And Vicky, I don't believe you. It's like, I love Jesus, bitch. Eddie's still hot. He shaved his nuts this morning. And Vicky, I don't believe you.

It's like each one of them took their turn. She's going to pray for Vicky, though, right? On the internet. Yeah. Like, I prayed for you, but then the email got returned. Sorry, bitch. Blame Jimmy's. I use PrayPal.

Blame Jamal. That email service sucks. Like Gmail? No. You know the one I'm talking about. Mexicans use PayPal. Blame Jamal. That email service sucks. Like Gmail? No, you know the one I'm talking about. Mexicans use it at taco stands. Gmail. No.

She's like, I use that email where they always cheer for you. What's it called? Yahoo. I'm like, Jamal, how long are you going to take to deliver that email? He's like, sorry. It's Alfredo. Okay, so thank you. So as we wrap up this, we actually have another Patreon question. This one comes from Lola Del Rio.

Lola. Lola. She asks, Vicky, more fun before all the plastic surgery or after um I well you answer I actually think before last time I think I feel well first of all we have a larger sample size of her life well I mean she's had a lot of plastic

surgery but I'm assuming you're referring to when she had the big facelift two seasons ago and I think she was more fun before uh because we have so many fond memories of going up to Lake Havasu and uh Puerto Vallarta and her screaming and and vans pulling up to go to fun places and her screaming at the vans and going skiing and screaming at people when to go ski I I so I'm gonna say before probably more before, but every year brings such complexity.

And one thing I'm really, and I was totally thinking this last night watching the shows anyway, but the surgery on these shows is this weird evolutionary emotional chart. It's like watching how people are growing from year to year. You can tell by their faces. Like Vanderpump Rules, you can really see the surgery and how people's personalities are coming out with what they're getting put on their face like jacks is obviously so insecure and so needy of love and attention and was obviously never given attention by his father or whatever like it's so obvious because of his face i mean fillers speak volumes and vickie's um say a lot you know she she hated a younger

person that wasn't true to her husband so she cheated and then got her face uh gretchen she got her chin and her eyes and every piece of insecurity comes out in her face and i just find it fascinating i mean we went from a woman who was just obsessed with getting a car wash every day to someone with a face I don't even recognize who's in a lace phase and lying about cancer. And it's just amazing. What came first, the filler or the psychosis? I'm not sure.

All right, well, thanks, Lola. Thank you for that question and thank you for being so awesome. Lola always is tweeting at us and stuff and coming onto our Hangouts. Love her. And Lola is a real-life restaurant manager, and she came to the Hangouts last time from

her little office cubby at the restaurant, which is hilarious to me because I've worked in restaurants my whole life, and I love that a restaurant manager is sitting there like, Marry your katchups, bitch! And then listening to us make fun of waiters. I love it! It's a perfect segue to Vanderpump Rules, but before we get to that, I have some questions I have to ask.

Oh, man. Do you have a bunch of photos lying around or art rolled up in your closet just waiting for you to put in a nice frame and hang on your walls? Because now is your chance to get them framed and up at framebridge.com do you take a thousand photos that do you take a thousand photos and never put a single one in a frame that was not my fault that was the copy thank you i'm gonna frame that i'm just kidding framebridge do you take a thousand photos and never put a single one in a frame now you can get those great memories off your camera and onto your wall with framebridge.com yeah it's actually really cool they actually gave us uh like a little credit so we can go look

around and play around on their website and order some stuff heck yeah very cool it's not an insta machine but it's getting close i'm gonna take a picture on heather's insta machine and then have it framed at framebridge christmas for everybody it's affordable uh the prices start at just $39 and that is up to 70% less than traditional framing stores yeah it is if you ever tried to do that at Aaron's Brothers not expensive so it's also easy to use just go to

framebridge.com and you choose your frame from their curated selection or collection and you upload your art and you preview it before you buy and if you can't upload your art don't worry you can mail it. And if you can't upload your art, don't worry. You can mail it in for free. So you can take that Van Gogh you've been holding on to and just, you know, stick it in the mail. But your framed piece arrives at your home ready to hang, which is super cool.

These are wood molding, UV protective acrylic, and acid-free matte and foam boards, so they're very high quality. And you can choose from clean and classic to more eclectic styles, or have one of Framebridge's designers make a recommendation. Do it! I'm actually having a picture that I took on the beach in Mexico with my little nieces. They're so cute. But it's not even of us, because, like,

gross. Like, I have enough pictures of them. They need to get... I look like a crazy person. So, instead, I'm gonna frame this big picture of this sand castle they made but i said make it for an evil queen and so they made it this really cool big like triangular castle and then poured little bits of water on it so it looks like it's melting and i was like yeah that's pretty much the coolest shit i've ever seen that will be in my living room forever, even when you've grown old enough for me to hate you properly. I'll always love you, evil sandcastle. Love, uncle. Yeah, I haven't

chosen my picture yet. I'm debating. For me to choose things, I'm always like, well, this would be the perfect one, or this one. But once I do it, I will take a picture of it, and then I will frame that picture. I really wanted to do the dick pic of Adam from Real Housewives of New York, but I was like, no one will have interest in this picture.

People will never even notice it. They'll just pass it right by and be like, hey, what was there? Was that a wall? Was that a wall? Was it a wall? So we love FrameBridge, and we know you'll love it too. So it's so easy to use and so much more affordable than traditional frame stores. So right now, FrameBridge.com has a special offer just for our listeners.

So right now, FrameBridge.com has a special offer just for our listeners. 15% off your first order and free shipping when you use our code SIDESHOW. This is a great deal, but it's only available this week. This week only. Yeah. So to get started framing your art or picture, go to FrameBridge.com, find your favorite frame from their curated collection, and upload your art or mail it in for free. Preview your art in your custom frame and enter your show, enter your code SIDESHOW at checkout to get 15% off and free shipping, which is actually a lot with a big package like a frame.

Receive your beautiful custom framed art that is ready to hang. Don't wait. This offer expires this week. So go to framebridge.com and use our code SIDESHOW and save. And thanks, Framebridge, for using us.

I was talking so much in the middle of that, but I didn't scroll down on the end. I thought it was over. Yeah, no, that was it. So thanks, everyone, for listening to that ad. Go get yourself a picture frame. For real, as someone who has tried framing things before, it gets real pricey. So it's cheap already.

And then our code, it'll be even cheaper. So, you know, have fun with that. Speaking of cheap, let's talk about all those people over at Vanderpump Rules at Sur. Oh, Vanderpump Rules. You know, when they announced the show was coming back and they put out the previews like this season, this season on Vanderpump Rules, darling. I was so excited. But those came out so long ago. And I thought November, that is so far away.

Like, who even cares? And I didn't even think about it again. And then before you know it, here we are in November. And it's back. It's back. So, first of all, I don't know what Sheena is doing to her face, but in the opening credits when they show her, you know, in this version of the opening credits, you know,

how they always swing around with their tray and the glasses go flying off in slow motion. Sheena's face is fully Kim Kardashian. I mean, it is not even recognizable. What are you doing to yourself, Sheena? And it's not even recognizable what are what are you doing to yourself she and it's not even good kim kardashian it's like second rate kim kardashian so she's you know she's basically a lower end kardashian at this point and that's not a good thing one thing and uh i was saying this is kind of a repeat of what i was saying uh with uh heather last night but i have started to feel this kind of a pity for people on these shows because i'm

learning something again through surgery this is another surgery emotional moment with ronnie let's all gather but i'm learning so much emotionally from these faces because sheena um is such a pretty girl and she is she was born beautiful and when you're not like born model looking you wonder your whole like you think your whole life that people who are beautiful have everything. And it's so easy for them. And life is just great. But at the end of the day, it's not. It sucks.

You're still insecure. People are only using you sometimes for sex. Like if you're a hot girl, oh, my God, how do you ever know if a guy really likes you? Because guys are so phony when a hot girl's in the room. likes you because guys are so phony when a hot girl's in the room and there's all this insecurity that people who are beautiful don't see it and they start chipping away at themselves and try and turn them into something just to be more fuckable but they're only doing that to escape the terrible feelings they were feeling from being so fuckable in the first place it's like this weird crazy plastic filled world of being afraid to like not be fuckable it's crazy to me yeah because these

are like legit hot people i mean jack's legit hot that is not a fake hot person well he used to be and now he's like the elephant man like what are you doing to yourself why why i know i mean if you look at jack's season one versus where he is now, I mean, things have gone the wrong direction in so many different ways. But I mean, he he has really messed himself up. Part of it is that, I mean, you suspect he's had fillers. He may have had fillers, but one thing is for sure, he's definitely been eating. So that's not something a model should be doing. But also, he has been like, he just looks rough.

And it's like, what is, this guy is gone. His face is really full. It's not working for him. And his eyes are so, well, part of it, I thought, was probably this nose job is why his eyes are so closed. Like, they're like half closed. Like Garfield eyes, you know? But bloated Garfield eyes. I mean, Garfield was fat, but I'm not calling him fat.

Just like tired, crazy, bloated surgery eyes, basically, like when you don't recover from surgery yet. They get it too quick. They're like, oh, the show's in two weeks. Better get a facelift. No! You do that the day after the reunions you can at least kind of heal. It's just so gross. And all the

revelations about Jax in this, which weren't really shockers, I guess, but that he's a compulsive steal you know a compulsive thief what is it a compulsive stealer which as we've mentioned on this show is apparently a side effect of heavy drug use kim richards etc people stealing all the time uh i'm making it sound like it was sad that's's the sadness. Now we can get to the fun parts. Have you exercised your demons on this issue? No, I have one more thing to say.

Sheena looks like... You know how pitbulls are really beautiful? So I'm not saying she looks ugly, but... You know how pitbulls... Oh, I thought you said pimples. Yeah. She's just like wide at the head and you want to squeeze it and you don't know why. She's like the most beautiful pimple you ever saw.

The more you squeeze, the more infected it gets. Don't squeeze why. She's like the most beautiful pimple you ever saw. The more you squeeze, the more infected it gets. Don't squeeze Sheena! I can't believe you squeezed me today. The same week as my birthday. It looks like somebody, and only an LA person would do this. It looks like somebody was like, my pitbull's really gorgeous, but the jaw on it's too big. So I'm going to get it shaved down. Like, why would you shave down a Pitbull jaw?

And then you've just got a big Pitbull head with no jaw. It looks like one of those hanging things on Halloween. There's just like a bony jaw hanging down. She took off the bottom half of her fucking face. She went like reverse fillered. She unfilled. She's like, just suck it out of me. Suck it out.

I don't care how. Just take it out of me. I'll totally mention you on my next takeoff. Well, she's either a pit bull missing a bottom jaw or a low-rent Kardashian. We'll leave that up to the audience to decide where she falls in that spectrum. But either way, she looks demented these days. So the show opened up with some more generic Bravo music. This one started off with these lyrics.

Ching-a-ling, ching-a-ling, oh yeah, I'm cashing in. It's like, oh gosh. No, you're not cashing in. You're cashing out because it's time to go home from your waiter job and split the tips, betch. Get a proper song. This isn't Ladies of London at all. So we open with an employee meeting. Hello, darling.

You know the meeting's in five minutes. And Peter's like, I'm totally at the host stand. Get out of here. This season, ass fat guys on drugs. Jackson's facial. Lala's a bitch. Jax, how am I gonna dramatically change? And Lisa goes,

facially, darling. And, oh my God, the face. She doesn't baseball caps. You know some serious drama's going down. She's wearing her, like, sad free cap that you get for a marathon. It's like a bright pink gas station cap. I'm like, uh-oh, depression. My name is gas station cap. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.

I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join

Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Grey's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success.

If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus did you hang up on me what'd you say no i was just like okay so we're having an employee meeting i'm like i been standing at the bus stop waiting for the rainstorm to pass well i'm like our our episodes are two hours long and you're recapping the trailer that came out two months

ago but it was fast i told you i'd make an effort and that was my effort i did it in like two seconds it's called editing ronnie editing i just did it darling i two seconds. It's called editing, Ronnie. Editing. I just did it, darling. I consolidated. I know. I'm turning into Matt Whitfield. So he just gets so mad at us when we just plow through. We love you, Matt. Love you. So we're at an employee meeting at the beginning of this show.

The big news here, Jax has now gotten his third nose job. Because surprise, surprise surprise the first nose job he got from the hot doctor did not turn out because you don't go to hot doctors okay don't go to hot doctors they didn't listen yeah also they didn't put like a coke shoot in your nose like next time you get your fucking nose done just have them cut a starbucks straw in quarters and like at least tape it up on the inside of your nose so you can save that skin he's like i just don't understand because you know i got it done and then you know like i got a bump on my nose because i tried to take a whole dime bag and then you know then i had to take my ear off to put on my nose i was like well that actually explains quite quite a lot. Yeah, he's like, now my nose can hear. But the thing is that, you know, he...

But my ears can't. Yeah. Fucking idiot. He's like, I gotta... It's like, you didn't get skin from your ear put onto your nose. You just got a piercing, okay? Just relax.

No, but... The thing is this, though. You know that really what happened is that they said, okay, you have to keep this bandage on for three weeks, and don't do this, this and this. And he didn't listen. And so he got these calluses in his nose and he had to get it fixed again for a set of. You know, he's so dumb. You know, that's exactly what he did.

Well, I think Jax is like a very tame version of Brooks. He is somebody who sees women as nothing but things to be used and played around with. So he's got that in common with him. And then when he needs sympathy, he comes up with some horrible thing. And in this case, his little issue seems to be broken noses. He gets his sympathy every year by breaking his nose. It's almost a form of cutting at this point. It's just instead of teenage girls' thighs, now it's 40-year-old faces.

I mean, he looked terrible. I mean, I don't know how much of it girls' thighs, now it's 40-year-old faces. I mean, he looked terrible. I mean, I don't know how much of it was because of the surgery. I mean, he had black eyes. He had, like, a cut above his eye. Was that cut above his eye?

Didn't he have that cut above his eye last season? Didn't he get something happen to him? I mean, I don't know. Well, he's obviously had upper face surgery unless he got,

unless that's just swelling. But I think that stays the whole season. He looked like he'd been in a car wreck, okay? He looks like a nose cripple. He looks like he's just wandering around looking for donations because

his nose hurts or something. I was very happy with this meeting because Lisa announced that Sur has new menus and these menus did not have fur so I was like well good. Sur is finally moving in the right direction. What's going to stop up the terrible sauce from the goat cheese balls? I know because there's anything uh if you've never been to sir they

if you at when you got your menu it came on like pink fur the menus were covered in pink fur or like zebra print but the zebra was like pink and black it was so tacky and much like this cast they were pretty crusty yeah and you know all those people who came in from Trozano dressed in the nines. They thought they were going to a fancy restaurant. We're like, ooh, look at this fur. It's such a fancy restaurant. Get out of my face, you stupid idiots. Now, you show me one P.F. James at home with a fur manual.

Yeah. So now it was like, next item on the agenda is that Kristen came into Pump and threw a glass of wine. I don't know if you threw it at James or whoever she is. And so James, I guess there's some question about someone threw wine through this glass. And James is like, oh, I didn't throw no glass of wine. I'm like, alright, pirate.

No kidding. No kidding. Eliza Doolittle before she met somebody rich. I'm going back to the haberdashery now. I didn't throw no glass of wine. I say I didn't. Lisa's so funny. He's like, I'm going back to the haberdashery now. Oh, I didn't throw a nickel. That's why I say I didn't. Lisa's so funny. She's obviously not seen anybody in like, you know,

actually spoken to anybody in months, because the cast only has to come when they film or whatever. So she shows up and everybody's sitting there, and she's like, we're gonna have a, we're renovating the restaurant. And then everybody's like yeah like jack's his face oh i hope it goes better than jack's his face she's like so jacks what

course is your face on and he's like uh the third and went into that whole thing and then uh the glass when the glass of wine did you notice that jane anybody who dates kristin they can't just call her kristin because she's so fucking frustrating that it turns into a deformed version of the name Kristen. Tom is Kristen, Kristen. And James even has it now because they've dated for so long. But now he goes, I can't do anything about Kristen. Yeah. Every time he said it this time, he was like, listen here, Kristen.

Totally true. Isn't that weird? It's like phonetics of dating a crazy bitch well james has cracked me up because he kept on doing this whole thing about being a dj he's like he's like i've worked too hard i've worked too hard to becoming a dj to go back to bussing tables because of kristana i was just like he acts as if he acts as if he just landed a gig performing at the coliseum downtown. It's like, dude, you're in the corner of Sur playing CDs. And on top of that, weren't you the one last season who was like, yeah, I've played festivals.

I've played Wembley Stadium. I've done this and that. So don't act. I played the dishwashing station. Yeah. watching station yeah but i just love how he thinks he acts as if like djing in the corner of the sir lounge is really the next step to greatness yeah i love pristan but if she tries to sit on the finger that presses play on the itunes that's it i'm done and lisa's like okay darling well good for you but if not you're going back to being a bus boy so now you're not going to

be a waiter dj you're going to be a bus boyboy. So now you're not going to be a waiter DJ. You're going to be a busboy DJ. And he's like, well, I sure don't want to be carrying around water, Lisa. So I'll talk to her. It's like, oh, my God. I know. He's like, I don't know. But either way.

His DJ career is so, so good. And then Lisa's like, well, what is she doing here anyway, darling? You know, I fired her a long time ago i slashed her tires when she was at home i knew she wouldn't take the bus and they're like well she's been drinking he's like she she likes to day drink on a sunday i guess and then everyone says monday and tuesday and wednesday oh i miss waiters i know i love it then lisa starts coming down on um on tom saying that he hasn't been doing his shifts and he's like lisa don't throw me under the bus lisa and lisa gets like oh like like now listen here don't talk to me that way i'm like since when

does lisa get upset by what these people say to her like they walk all over and now tom's like lisa but they are both not i mean remember when uh when you talk to lisa that way you were out usually i mean kristen it took her a few times but she didn't just sit there and take it but now it's like the whole staff talking to her like that oh that's not good tom and tom and ariana both because tom was like lisa you're totally throwing me under the bus. Like, I work, whatever. And Ariana, yeah, we do all that we can do. Like, really, Ariana? Do you?

Do you do all that you can do? You polished a glass. Please stop acting like you're, like, saving lives. But you stop it. And Lisa, I'm 54 fucking years old. I was like, how many times do you have to say that before even you believe it? Girl, you are 65 if you were a day. And her sitting there saying, I'm 54 fucking years old while sitting in front of that Sir sign. Her head is blocking the U.

So it's just the shortened version of senior right behind her head. Giant. In giant letters. So fucking priceless. And it makes me think, are these posed? Do people do that on purpose like surely someone has noticed that it says senior above lisa's head well um somewhere in this i don't remember where but sheena announced that she's having a birthday

party of course she's always having a birthday party i'm having a birthday party. Of course. It's my birthday. She's always having a birthday party. I'm having a birthday. That's that guy famed. What I loved is that she goes, so she just, when she, she describes her costume, she goes, I'm doing like a virgin. Madonna.

I'm like, yeah, we know who, yeah, we are familiar. Thanks for clarifying, Sheena. You know,

Madonna. You know, cause Madonna, like, she wore tutus and couldn't sing on keys. So, I'm like, huh,

brrf. I'm gonna dress like Thriller. You know, Michael Jackson. You ever heard of it? It's like, she wore tutus and couldn't sing on key. So I was like, huh, brrf. I'm going to dress like Thriller. You know, Michael Jackson. It's like, yes, yes. And where do you think this big news came across, Ben? Well, she was putting up eyeliner in the bathroom. They gave a close-up of the women door in that tiny bathroom in the back, and still every time I see it, I think, you know,

no one on this show can ever do anything as good as Kim Richards locking herself in that bathroom to do meth all night at the Vanderpump Rules party. And they're like, Kim, Kim, are you in there? She's like, yeah, get out of here, little guy from Webster. I'm not taking your cows.

Stop following me. Kim, a big turkey float just arrived that Adrian sent. Don't you want to see it? Ah, fuck it. Does it fit up my nose? No, Kim. I'm staying in here.

Bring me some toilet paper. I'm not in here. No, Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim. So in this bathroom, we also learn that Patrick and Stassi are separating, according to Katie, which is, like, we already knew that, but it was still fun. It's always fun to hear it. Yeah. which is we already knew that but it was still funny it's always fun to hear it yeah and then

Sheena's like Sheena and Katie are like Sheena's just saying how have I got to be your bridesmaid I'm like didn't you guys

hate each other last year you guys hated each other and then Katie managed to get like a pity invitation to the wedding it's like every season it's just always

it's always so funny to me the way these people all become friends with their mortal enemies season after season. I don't understand it except that obviously the producers are like, okay, you guys are friends this year. It's like, okay. And also they all hang out and are friends in real life. And they're just – it's weirder that they're actually friends and they still rip each other to shreds every year and try and ruin each other's life. I know.

And then they go to lunch. I'm like, that was fun. Okay. See you there. Don't throw me under the bus lisa women's room katie we became friends when sheena and i both discovered that we're never gonna get a good haircut katie's hair she's trying again for another season and thank you for d ronald mcdonalding it but girl no still no and sheena no both of you both of you know poor iron care is what i wrote down so now next is uh jacks uh jacks and james are starting to have any conversation it's like this they're randomly they're talking about carmen because remember jacks has his girlfriend carmen

but i think they broke up but i'm not sure if they really broke up because she dumped him you never well she dumped him but then but then he later was going to invite her to sheena's birthday but she wasn't around. So he invited her. He's like, I'll just choose someone. The next name down in the book, it's Carter. So it's like, okay. It's the guy from HGTV. Yeah.

So Jax is talking with James, and Carmen is friends with Kristen and James. And one of Jax's friends, I guess, reached out to Carmen about hanging out. It was like a very convoluted story that I didn't understand the context for. And then James was like, well, anyway, I gotta work on my DJing career.

Goodbye. I'm gonna do a remix of Samantha Mumba. Bye now. They've got some new downloads on GarageBand. All right, cheerio. See you then, Captain.

Oh, I gotta set up the iPod in the corner. Big break. Anyone know how these Bluetooth speakers work? Anyone know how to work this jam box, Kristen? So they cut to Jax's new weird face, and he's like twitchy and weird. Is his nose broken?

He's got that evil look. And he's got an evil look on his face, and he's forced to be in the back because he's too ugly to be in the front love you sir this is like you're hideous get in the back so he's polishing glasses and james is back there who who you know marrying a catch-up or something and jack's is like bro christian's crazy get her out of your life bro and uh james james is like well you know whatever anyway it gets to car Carmen and how she's dating someone else. And then Jax immediately gives this evil look like he's going to fucking murder somebody.

He really does. He is a psychotic man. He is. And then he gets on his cell phone and starts dialing while really dramatic music plays. And one of our listeners put on, I think Sarah put this on the uh facebook and it says um that this entire episode is coconut music and she is so right every scene was like a different a different version of the coconut music and this was like very scary psycho but like still fun coconut music it's like dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun and he's on his phone texting, which James gets a text outside smoking because Kristen immediately calls and starts yelling at James.

And just so fucking good. I mean, he literally walked outside and got a text from Kristen. Yeah, it was the classic Vanderpump rules. They're like, hey, hey, audience, we know you love this sort of stuff. So let's watch these idiots start rumors and then text each other and betray each other right away and so sure enough you know kristen calls up and she's like she's yelling about like did you go did you tell jacks she's all jacks about carmen seriously seriously and he's like no kristen no kristen i did not say anything no i didn't say it no why would i say anything at all

i saw the fucking text message oh i said something okay i won't let you do listen it's a big big djing opportunity okay we're calling it surf fest all right and everyone's getting into the lounge and there'll be 10 people there and i'm gonna play my remixes all right don't ruin this for me right now and also kristen don't you remember the whole conspiracy about how people made found some way to hack texts and make you look bad back in the day? And she's like, oh, just read the text. Because those are dependable now. Well, also, but by the way, James is an idiot.

He's like, okay, Jax, don't tell my... I've got my Australian coming back from the rest of the day. He's like, don't tell a single soul. All right? All right. Carmen's dating someone. Don't tell him. He's like, yeah, yeah, bro.

I won't tell anyone. No, of course I'll tell. Of course you text immediately, Kristen. He's like, whatever you do,

don't text Kristen. He's like, got it. Texting Kristen. No, don't text Kristen. All right, texting her right now.

No, no, no, stop. If you think, delete Kristen's number and then never text her ever again.

All right, so I'm going to text her three times right now. No, I got to get back to my DJ career. It's really taken off. Bro, you didn't say not to Insta her. James, how could you do that, bro?

How could you do that? How could you text her the second after I told you not to text her? And he's like, who cares, bro? So what? I texted her. I got mad. I'm sorry. What do you care?

What do you care? He's like, because I have to deal with Kristen, bro. Kristen. Kristen. Kristen. So. So. So, then, meanwhile, Sheena, Tom, and Ariana are, like, at the bar.

And Sheena's like, I'm scared that Kristen's going to show up at my room. And then they're, like, complaining about Kristen. And then Sheena's like, I just wish someone would give me a personal, a direct reason to hate Kristen. I just wish someone. And Tom and Harry are like, what about us? Do you see the hell she's put us through? How could you not hate her? She's like, I know.

I don't know. Like a virgin Madonna. Yeah, but they're also still friends with Jax, which kind of kills any credibility they ever have about forgiveness. Exactly. They forgive the biggest fucking moron in the world every single time, and he fucks them over good. Like, he fucked Tom's girlfriend while Tom was sleeping, and Tom's like, you know, how could you be so forgiving of Kristen?

Kristen. Tom is Kristen, and James is Kristen. Kristen. Tom is Kristen. And James is Kristen. Kristen. And Tom is Kristen. Kristen. And Tom also has an R at the end. Kristen. So anyway, the one thing that Kristen is really good about,

and I don't think anyone else in L.A. is like this, if she gets hung Up on or she doesn't get her answers. She drives so if I'm like oh you didn't I'm confused I'm like well. I'm not gonna go out and rush our traffic. I'm not gonna drive to West Hollywood You know the parking there is so annoying. I'm not doing that. She's like no seriously seriously So sure enough she heads right to right to sir and Jackson counters her ass I think he's like he's, what are you doing here? She's like, seriously? Seriously

And I'm like, nice to see you too, seriously You're not going to ruin my music career, Kristen I have worked very hard on putting this playlist together, Kristen She's like, whatever Well, before even James comes out Kristen starts telling Jax he has to control his anger, which is hilarious. And she's like, yeah, like, ever since I left, I've been really, like, calm. And I've been learning I don't have to react to everything.

I'm just, like, you know, focusing on my t-shirt line. Since I left, yeah, I've been focusing on t-shirts, and I learned in therapy. Like, there was this pause to give everybody a laugh break because that shit's hilarious she's going to therapy i'm so sure it's like like donated insta therapy get out of here and she's saying she's meanwhile the very first shot we get of kristin where is she standing she's placed right in front of the dumpsters yeah the entire backdrop was kristin trying to look pretty with her new highlights and they're like all right just stand there right in front of the dumpsters darling all

right don't move all right get in just get in have your head poking out while you're yelling darling all right well i actually believe it or not i actually did think she looked pretty you know considering that she's horse face number one but um uh yeah so i i'm already fashioning my fall ensemble which will include one of jack's's chunky sweaters, one of Kristen's t-shirts, once that Kickstarter goes through. I'll be waiting a few years for that Kickstarter to start reaping its returns. It's like, it's got to stretch go.

So then James comes out, and they're fighting. And it's like what you said, they're fighting. He's like, you know what, Kristen, I'll have to DJ. I'll have to DJ. And then he literally goes, this is a quote that I wrote down. Because James is going to go DJ in the corner of the Sur lounge. He goes, girls come and go, but dreams are with you forever. Yes, we all dream of DJing at Sur.

Girls come and go. Yeah. But DJ jobs at the restaurant you bus tables at also come and go. But, I mean, it's Wally Mag Hot Dog, Captain. I brought in three disc men for this gig today. Ain't no one going to take it away from me, Governor. Kristana. Kristana.

Kristana. Kristana. So then, after the commercial break jack silver oh another desperate jack's moment only jacks would get ready for the scene he's about to shoot with his mother with a nude scene fucking jacks stepping out of the shower and he's like looking all hot even a dick shot like full-on dick shot for the cameras and then right after his dick shot he's putting on a shirt and he his stomach is sticking right out i'm gonna make a picture of him and juicy joe next to each other and post it because his goal his gold jacks and his outer jacks oh my god i hope you meet in jail you two you're gonna make

a great couple you know it's all it all went downhill as soon as Stassi threw out all his supplements. You know, season two, she tossed them all in the sink and he's been blowing up ever since. You know what? He needs to start logging on to his own app and doing some exercise. His own app? He would if it worked. Yeah. Yes, exactly.

It's like if I could find a decent webmaster, I'd be thin by now. Yeah. So we meet Jax's mom, who seems really sweet. But I was really thrown off by the fact that she kind of looked like and sounded like Kristen. That really bothered me. Whoa, does she? A little bit. Although then as I started to listen to her more, I started to feel like she kind of sounded like Alice and Janney imitating a dog.

Like if Alice and Janney were doing the voice of a Pixar movie where she had to do the voice of a dog, it'd be like, Hey there. Hi. I'm a dog. I'm Jax's mom. I've had to deal with stupidity all year long.

Hi. Hi, Jax. I got new sunglasses for my head. She seems so sweet, and I really liked her. Oh, yeah, she was great. At the same time, I was like, you unleashed Js it's like

being okay with i don't know like the seed that causes mustard gas well i guess we are okay with us mustard right never mind i'm fine with everything be evil that's my point raise terrible children do you like that okay so anyway his mother like is at the door straightening his wig and then he's showing her around the studio and she's like he's like yeah you know it's weird showing my mom you know around my studio but like she really liked the paella thing that i crushed my hair when i've been and also if i had a man if i had a mansion i wouldn't even like live in it if i could have a mansion because life's better when you're like using someone else's mansion it's just like like, you know, it makes you feel thinner.

Oh, Jax. Jax. Jax. Jax. Poor Jax. You're all turning different ages, but you're old. I don't know why I wrote that. His mom is looking at his face, worried as hell.

Yeah. I'm sure. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, Mother wants to see that. She's like, oh, are things going okay with the girls? And he's like, yeah, well, no one's living here. And she's like oh are is are things going okay with the girls and he's like yeah well no one's living here and she's like well that's good she goes jacks you just need to figure out who you are and then you need to figure out why you're that way and he's like um uh yeah okay do you

want some wine i stole it from the restaurant she's like oh that's my boy and he's like yeah mom all the silverware is from the restaurant she's like but lisa didn't know about that and i'm just imagining these two walking around a jc penny with jack shoving plastic jewels in his fucking pockets for his mother like getting it back in the station wagon and like trying shit on together because you know that shit happened yeah yeah exactly yeah no i i really bothers me when people are like, you know, he's always been like that. He's always been a little rascal. I'm like, well, you know, you sort of aren't to blame for that. You may be perfectly lovely, but you're kind of to blame for raising a sociopath. So anyway, we have like a little scene then of James visiting Kristen to apologize.

And it was just a nothing scene. It's not even worth getting into. So then... The general thing with the mom was they go have dinner, or they go have lunch, or whatever. With Villablanca.

With Sheena and her mom, who just turned 50. Why do none of Lisa's restaurants ever show the front? Have you noticed that? They never show the full front. They have maybe twice on Pump. No, they showed it for Villablanca.

They show the front, but they only show the little curtain part. maybe twice on no they showed up for they show the front but they only show like the little curtain part because the restaurants i think are so tiny they want you to think they're big because they show you villa blanca but they only show you the top of the building so it looks like villa blanca is this 12 foot skyscraper thing like i'm so sure they've got tables on the 12th floor and you're not showing the entrance because it's just one of those ikea curtains tied back just like over at um i don't know i don't i don't well either way so they um so they have it's like a meeting of of brains here sheena and her mom who's turning she knows she's gonna be turning 30 her mom is turning about like 35 i don't know it's like you know but um no her mom is turning 50 and then they're having like a

little lunch and we learned some things we learned that jacks is now talking to a girl from kentucky which will not end well as we've seen and uh and then yeah it's like what we're talking about they all start laughing about how jack steals things and pass them off as gifts and he forges things like oh isn't it so funny? He commits federal crimes. His mother started telling stories. And before the end, it was five stories. And Sheena's mom's like, well, he's like a little puppy.

He's this cute little puppy. And he pees on the floor. And you're like, but he's so cute. I'm like, no, you put him down. I don't know where you learned to raise a puppy. But if that fucker doesn't learn after week five, he's dead. Okay? Yeah, exactly.

Maybe that was her point. Maybe that was like Azusa, you know, tact. Who knows? But Lisa's reaction was hilarious. She's like, I figured Jax's mother would be a homeless transvestite meth head who's probably got heads on a stick. But it turns out she's just a regular poor person who makes fun of her idiot son.

I like her. I paid for 20% of their lunch. And their tip was still 14%. Amazing. Amazing woman. Cheer Tata on the house. Goat bowls. Bring us some goat cheese balls, darling.

So that was pretty funny because Jax is a loser and everyone's like, this is so sweet. And, you know, again, this episode, actually, you would never know it from how I'm talking, but actually made me feel for Jax because I've never really looked at him as this pathetic before. And now I'm like, you've ruined your face. You're ruining your body. You're ruining your brain, obviously obviously with drugs if you had one and now at the end of the day you're in a place where people will still love you you know any other town that guy would be poor kicked out of everywhere no one would speak to him and here people will still embrace you even though you're an emotional fuckwit who

does nothing but use people oh la let's hug well but you know what though i mean he's he's running out of women because the fact that he he's now talking to a girl in kentucky over instagram i mean that means that there's no one left in la for him to go for because you know why would he have to we've all been to the grove been there are desperate whores everywhere on both sides of the sexual spectrum who will fuck anything for anything and if he's not getting anything from somebody besides somebody from kentucky it's probably because he is fucking somebody here and lying to her and telling her he's not fucking anybody and that doesn't count because it's just

on instagram in kentucky that's true lying lying sack of shit let's hug sorry i started to say so but it came out as a big sound yeah you're like kissing me i don't blame you so business reference snooty to the new york ass okay so then we go to a hair salon called like spoken wheel and it looked so ridiculous and uh because for sheena's upcoming birthday tom schwartz is getting a perm so he can look extra 70s he's like i don't want to be a douchebag like i was last year i'm like you have el Elvis sideburns and you're getting a perm. Too late. Sorry, you failed. You're on the show. You're automatically a douchebag.

And you're still hot. I'd still make out with you. Let's do it. So now it's Sheena's birthday. This birthday was held in a ballroom on top of the Andaz. It looked like a crappy reception at a pharmaceuticals

convention you know it's like all right tonight's for day two of pharmaceutical con we are having a costume reception at the holiday inn that's what it looked like honestly to me i wrote down uh ggs ggs hair extension party yes yes exactly that's exactly what it looked like. It was just like they could not make that space look cool. It was just like too big and empty. And the lights were on full blast. It was just like this awful, awful place. I mean, hey, if the Entas wanted to host my birthday party, I'd be glad to have it in that corporate environment. But, you know, I mean, I guess it's a step up from Mixology 101, right?

Look, it's free. You know, it's like I go to Baja Fresh because I get a coupon from there. Otherwise, it'd be at La Salsa. Yeah. Love you, Bach. So it's Shannon's birthday party. And Jax brought Carter, not Carmen, because Carmen was out doing something. Mine, mine, mine.

Mine, mine, mine. We call Carmen, for those of you guys who are newer to the podcast, we call Carmen mine, mine, mine. Mine, mine, mine. We call Carmen, for those of you guys who are newer to the podcast, we call Carmen mine, mine, mine, because she sort of is possessive of Jack, but more importantly, she looks like the seagulls in Finding Nemo. We're like, mine, mine, mine, mine. I forgot about that. Poke out from the side.

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Oh, so good. Of course sheen is dressed as madonna she's the star singing off key for dollars and she's fucking gilligan with an instacart darling somehow it works it's like poor her poor boyfriend is walking around all schlubby i don't know if he was gilligan or like gilligan macgyver i don't know what he was Gilligan or like Gilligan MacGyver. I don't know what he was doing. He wasn't part of any decade. He just was like, uh, he was a Hawaiian shirt. I got the gap in 1999. I'm in the decade whenever they invented like home grocery delivery and I don't have to leave the house to buy a costume. Gilligan's hot!

And Kristen walks in to cross the party. And I'm, you know what? Look, I am for everybody's surgery. Let's all do it. Look how you want to look. We can choose to be whatever we want to be. But when your tits are literally pointing out things in the room, it's time to rethink either your tits or your outfit. Like, you got to do one.

Vicky's sitting there crying about her dead mom while her tits are literally pointing. One's at the ceiling. One's at the carpet. Then this one is walking in all subtly with a shirt down to her belly button. And I don't even know what her tits were doing. It's almost like they move on their own. They look like two Triceratops horns.

They're just pointing out like that. They look like those drag queens' breastplates that they use still in Austin. I don't know how those are so in, but every drag queen I've seen in Austin has those big breastplates. They're did they use still in austin i don't know how those are so in but every drag queen i've seen in austin has those big breastplates they're weird yeah exactly well what i loved is kristen's like well clearly i was not technically invited but i know that sheena really deep down wants me at a birthday party seriously seriously sheena deep down nothing

that's the end there is no sheena deep down there is no yeah thank you thank you there deep down sheena no your syntax in this code does not compute it just ends with sheena that's the end yeah she doesn't even spell sheena right okay if you deep down is through the other side like if you look at sheena stands in certain ways she just disappears because there's no depth there's no depth there it's just it's just uh it's like flat flat what's flat stanley whatever it's just take sheena and just put her in front of the eiffel tower or any other geographic place and send pictures someplace like flat sheena play a few loops i'm gonna have a tea kettle screaming about i don't know like fucking somebody with her butt i don't know, like fucking somebody with her butt. I don't know, whatever her song's her name. Fuck me at the butt, fuck me at the butt.

Ah, ah, ah, in the butt. So Kristen, of course, goes up to James, and he's like, Kristen, could you get me a drink? And she's like, seriously? How many have you had? Seriously? You're drinking? How many have you had?

You're drinking? I can't believe you're drinking. You're pressing play and drinking? So irresponsible. It's a really big gig for me, Kristen. I have to, I need to be liquored up, all right? It's too big. I'm too much, too much anxiety.

I'm playing the andas, all right? I'm playing the andas. Haven't you heard of M-Ad? It's MacBooks against drunk driving, okay? So many keyboards have been ruined by drunk DJs, okay? So she's like, but I love that this is like a fight when she's like how many of you have she's like is there i've had only one and he's like you know nothing gets me madder than when someone questions my sobriety and that just makes me want to drink a lot like well yeah that's why they question your sobriety you know what people

do when people ask me if i'm drunk you know what i do i like to get really drunk just to piss them off well that's what they ask you. You sure showed them. He's like in a pile on the side of the freeway. It's like, R.I.P. He sure showed them. Stupid. Meanwhile, we understand why he's driven to drink because we see this scene of Tom. He's like doing

this roller skating dance and the only person who's paying any attention is Kristen who's taking pictures and laughing. She's like, Yay, Tom! Seriously, Tom is the best costume roller skater I've ever seen. Seriously. I'm going to show Tom by

posting an Instagram of him roller skating and Photoshop my face into it. My costume is, I'm on Tom's Instagram. That's it. My costume is the decade that Tom and I were dating. I'm playing Valpac surgery. That's who I am. Valpac surgery.

I got my surgery at Bed, Bath & Beyond because I got a 20% off one of my boobs. I had money left over, so I also got a Swiffer. I bought one of those husbands. You know, I thought it was a real husband Turns out it's a pillow you put on your bed I got one of those things you hang on your couch arm To hold the remote control And then I fucked its best friend on the couch

It got so mad I'm sorry I got an impulse buy of a barrel of caramel popcorn And then I got another impulse buy Of blowing someone Oh my god sheena going this is so random but sheena goes well i just got married and now i'm turning 30 and it's like this is the last time i get attention until i'm like pregnant and even then you have to get fat and it's done once the baby is born. So, yay

Marriott! I wrote that down, too. I could not believe she was like, this is my last opportunity to get center attention for a while. I'm like, I have a feeling you'll find a way. Like, guys, my Amazon Prime shipment's coming in today. I need you guys all to pay attention and look out for a box.

Seriously, it's my box. Please. Everyone. So, so, so, so good. Oh, mom, happy. Well, Ken, oh, also at this time is that Ken walked in and he pulls over Tom. He's like,

don't ever disrespect my wife. I was like, oh, Ken, look at you getting all like lock, sock and two smoking barrels on Tom there. The next time you disrespect my wife, I was like, oh, Ken, look at you getting all, like, lock, sock, and teeth, smoke, and barrels on Tom there. The next time you disrespect my wife, I'll show up here wearing a matching shirt with my dog. We'll see how you like that.

He's like, uh, but wait, you are already. You're already doing that. I will silently fart and not admit it. You just did that. Alright, well, I'm done. Just stop doing it, please you grab somebody stop beating me old man this is by the way this party was perfect for ken i mean for the first time ever he looked he looked like he finally was fitting in you know decades party 80s um so then he's like

people are wearing wigs from every era here. It's just like our closet, darling. Do you remember Oreo, our sweet little dog? Look, Ariana's wearing her right now. God bless all of God's creatures. Duran Duran forever. So then Lisa then talks to Kristen, and they're like, you know. I love that Lisa just goes right up to people at parties and tells them off about work shit. She's like, Kristen, ever since you left, the ketchup bottles have been cleaned.

There is no ketchup crusted on the outside. What do you think of that, little miss, Kristen? She's like, I think that's really judgmental. And I think that you're being, like, really judgmental and, like, unfair to point the blame at me. And it's like, darling, your tits are pointing at literally everyone in the room. If anyone's going to stop pointing, it needs to be those, darling.

Put away the sale tits. Darling, you know, I know it's a decade's party, but there's no reason for you to get boobs like Madonna's Vogue video. Just put the blonde ambition away. This is ridiculous. If you keep this up, your busboy slash waiter Slash DJ will only be

A slash nothing Because he'll lose his job Kristen's like He's just pressed play He'll lose the privilege Kristen Let me settle Let me make this perfectly clear for you

I know the owner of Cabo Cantina And if you come to serve one more time, I am not going to recommend that James DJ at Cabo Cantina, all right? If you stay away, I'll make sure that James gets every opportunity a DJ could dream of, all right? If you come back one more time, I'm calling Mohammed and telling him to shut down the cotton factories in India, and we'll see how far your t-shirt line goes.

She's like, okay. Sorry, Lisa. That's right. If you keep coming to Sir, I will see to it that James' DJing skills get banned from every corner

of Mixology 101. We, if you don't stop coming, I'm banning all Taylor Swift remixes and your boyfriend will have nothing to play but he really understands what it's like being broken up with if you keep coming to sir

i am going to demand that james never play his remix of dream ever again he loves me not so that becomes something of kristin trying to tell off lisa and yes obviously the reason lisa is the queen is because she cannot be bothered with any of these stupid fucking people she's she's just like all right then do you understand do you hear me catch up quest lever she's like whatever you're dumb she's like oh and she walks away and kristen's like, whatever, you're dumb. She's like, ugh. And she walks away, and Kristen's like, kisses. Oh, yeah, kisses, sweetheart. Oh, yeah, let's kiss. Kristen tried to out Vanderpump Vanderpump.

She's like, oh, well, it was lovely to see you. How lovely to see you again, Lisa. Kisses. Kisses. Two for two, and two for you, and you for me, and two for two. Lisa's like, idiot. She just walks away looking like, what a moron. Do I ever have to speak

to her again? Don't make me ever do this in a Marriott again, or it's too bad. And Ariana's watching. She's just like, ugh. So then Ariana and Tom go, oh wait, no. So then Jax, I love this. Jax

is sitting outside with his mom, and she's like, oh, what lovely friends you have here. And he's like, yeah, I love all these guys. You see those two, Tom and Tom? The Toms, those two are like my brothers. I would do anything for them. I'm like, yeah, even sleep with their girlfriends if necessary. Yeah, you tried to get one broken up with his girlfriend and outed his affair,

and then you fucked the other one's girlfriend. Good job. And his mom's probably like, good job, just like I taught you, kid. Did you get anything from their house? Just show me their candles. Yeah, I love it. He's like, yeah, I would do any,

he literally would do anything for them. Or to them, really. Or with them, probably. I mean, who knows? He has been working on that dick. Yeah. So then Tom and Ariana are sitting in the corner sort of moping because Kristen's there.

And... Someone told Ariana to get a storyline this year. Watch out, everybody. The nice, quiet girl has to make drama now. Come on, I liked her. Don't fuck with her. I like her. Leave her likable. Ariana!

Ariana's like, I think I have a fake friend. You know? Because she's still friends with Kristen. I'm like, you know she was friends with her allable. Ariana. Christina. Andy. Ariana's like, I think I have a fake friend, you know, because like Sheena's still friends with Kristen. I'm like, you know, she was friends with her all last season too. Like, you know, but like now she's suddenly getting mad about it. So Tom's like, hey, you know, Ariana, you know, when she gets weird, I'll look at you and you can look at me and we can take a fucking vacation. I'm like, yeah, it's like the Poconos. I don't know where that vacation is.

He's like, why do you talk so much with a wig on you're so quiet when you're blonde hey babe I got an idea let's never dye your hair okay okay great it's like the most she's ever said in 10 seasons she said on this one scene she's like Sheena's betraying me

blah blah blah I don't know I don't like it don't turn against Sheena she's just being nice like everybody doesn't have to be mean to kristin you're the one who was fucking her boyfriend and let's stop pretending that you weren't by the way because you totally were not that she's innocent and you're all 20 so fuck everybody but still like you were the one fucking her boyfriend and then stole the boyfriend and now you're acting like she just won't get over it yeah because you took her boyfriend so you kind of earned that one okay yeah so the other thing that that this season

is setting up a little bit which we've seen from the previews is that there are some issues between Sheena and Shay and so we we didn't talk about this but at one point they're like when Lisa walked in she was like where's your husband and then the music was like dun dun dun and you see like Shay walking around in the crowd they try to make it look like it was like some awful rift it's just like he was just trying

to get the crowd he was bringing in like a spare usb cord from the car for james yeah running around in his gilligan's hat and she was like where is it i need my youth i need my convert right now. I gotta play a Tina Arena remix. Cut it here right now. So. So. So anyway, so to further this thing, they cut to Shay chugging from like

two bottles. But then they cut to James. A fireball. James is like chugging. He's like give me the fireball, give me the fireball. Give me the fireball. Which is like the basic bitch cocktail or liqueur. Totally. You guys want a shot of fireball?

Trisha drunk on her birthday in a hot tub. You guys want some fireball shots? Yeah. So getting wasted on fireball. And then pouring. It's like the Costco size, too. It's like this giant jug. And he's pouring it all over his face, and Tom goes, Yeah, he's embarrassing.

He's like that shot in the porno movie, the money shot, you know? It's like coming, and then it's like splurting on your face, and it's like dripping down. It's like you're rubbing it all over somebody for no reason. I'm like, what? What movies are you watching over there? My God. He's like, it was that one with that boxer who was drugged. The boxer.

He's like, I'm suing people because I got drugged and tricked into doing gay porn and drinking a fireball. Yeah. Everyone's shocked at the fireball. A boxer drank fireball? He's like, I thought I was supposed to be here on camera pouring fireball down someone's throat. And the next thing I know, I was ejaculating on a DJ.

They made me ejaculate on a MacBook Air. Oh, I'm suing. Yeah, and so then basically the episode ends with James saying, like, well, I'm sorry that I'm drinking, but Kristen draws me to drink. Well, at least she literally drives you to drink. Like, she drives you to every bar that you get wasted at, and then she complains about you being drunk. That's, like, that's so a template for this show because then coming

up with sheena sheena's like oh my husband only does drugs and eats i'm like oh really did you think that marriage was going to change any of that or i just love how the Sheena impersonation just starts going, ah. Well, Sheena's new thing this year, which I'm loving Sheena, is that she does the shimmy. Like, she knows that everybody makes fun of her for being a bimbo. So now she's, like, embracing the bimbo thing and trying to make it funny. But it's not funny that she's commenting on it because she doesn't even understand it. You know what I mean? Like, she doesn't understand the own her own stereotype so now she's doing this thing where she's like well it's my birthday and so i'm gonna put it right and then she shimmies her shoulders she does like the lydia shimmy please watch out for it because

she did it in every diary room and i laughed so hard because she's just trying to be like that sexy wacky minx sheena but she's just saying like and then i brought them broad sex shimmy shimmy shoulders like oh you're crazy oh my god i love this show i'm so glad it's back i love doing impersonations and you know really it's nothing really happens on this show but it's oh god it's so fun catch-up drama and then they have the the coming this week on this show are always the best. And I only wrote down one thing, so don't worry. But next week or coming up this season on Vanderpump Rules, that's what we call the smoking Uber.

Yeah. James gets caught cheating because of an Uber receipt. Love it. The smoking Uber is my favorite thing i've ever heard okay so now let's let's go on to some more wait staff let's go to a pretty ski so i didn't write notes because i knew if i wrote notes it would just be craziness but um you know what let's just talk about your... Yeah, let's just do a general, because I did take notes,

but we don't need to do an hour on this show. Let's just talk about it, and we'll keep watching and see how we feel about it. Because I think that there's promise here. And I literally did laugh out loud in a few parts of it. Yeah, me too. Oh, I just kicked my foot against the table for no reason.

Oh, wow, wow, wow. I can't believe this is what happened to me on the first week of Vanderpump Rules recaps. You should have stolen a better table, honey. I know. So, yeah, so, I'm sorry. I interrupted you with my bodily harm. Go on. I wanted you to know that even when I'm taking

notes on these shows, I still go back. And I'm like, oh, wait, I forgot to say something. So I wrote on the top of this one tamra wait she's a bitch so she's a bitch so that makes you not a bitch that's not how bitch mac that's not how bitch math works batch i don't know why i thought that would be important to say but there i said it glad you just got it off your chest in this show so this is basically a concierge show so it it's like Below Deck. Yeah, it seems exactly like Below Deck, actually. I feel like it's probably the same producers.

It's a template, you know, it's like their million dollar listing, and now I can't even watch it because it's just the same thing over and over again. But this is their attempt at Below Deck, but this time, instead of being stuck in a jail, the waiters can, or the maids can, like, walk around the room. Yeah. Which I think is actually one of the problems with this show. So the premise is... All those workers walking. Walking, too much walking. So the idea is there's this guy, you know,

let me bring up the webpage so I can get their names. I need to get their names. Just give them types. So there's, like, the fatter gay guy in in iron plaid and a belt that doesn't work but i think he's nice but what i was gonna say just what i was gonna say though is that there's this guy it's the gibbons uh i forget his first name like joey or something like that but he he is i guess he owns a lot of restaurants and places up there in Whistler. And, oh, Joey Gibbons.

It is Joey Gibbons. So he has put together this company called Gibbons Entertainment or whatever it is. And it's going to be concierges, like concierges to the, you know, to Whistler. Rich people, you come and use our service and we will give you these top-notch elite experiences, okay? And so the premise of the show is that we're going to follow these people, these concierges. And so we've got Joey, who owns the company, and he comes in and out. And then we have the CEO of the company, who she seemed pretty smart.

I don't know why she was stuck in this. Was that Charlotte or it may have been someone else um maybe oh that was tamra that was the really nice she's like really very nice and professional and speaks like this but you know she can rip your fucking throat out yeah so she is the ceo and then we have the manager the person who so if you're looking at it if if joey is captain lee and tamara is she's sort of like another captain lee like small captain lee and then you have elise and elise is basically like the eddie okay she has she is she is the manager of all the concierges okay and then everyone else is a concierge and um you know how you were saying earlier that jack says run out of women to fucking la like everybody's too embarrassed

because they all know who he is i feel like that about rich people in la no one will do these shows anymore so now they're just like well let's just find some kind of you know who needs the money i mean let's get some you know out of work fucking waiters or whatever just put them on a mountain this time they're great sounds great and they're they no one's learned yet it's still like poor people you know having to do terrible things for bravo yeah and so i think the reason why this show so far has not um been as interesting or entertaining as below deck is that Deck, even if it's scripted with the guests who come on or off it,

it's a realistic scenario. There are yachts, and yachts have staffs, and they have guests. And so it makes sense why all these people are living on top of each other, and they're going crazy because they're stuck on this boat for months. And they have real jobs that they

have to do, and they are slavingaving away and rich people are doing whatever so that all kind of like makes sense but in this one it's like oh we're concierges and now we're all going to live in a house together which doesn't make sense except it's a reality show so we're going to do this real world thing where all the concierges live together and they're all just kind of like babysitting it doesn't have that same well i think what it's more contrived yeah i think the deal is because i was wondering why it's so temporary because it's really rare for a show to just be like okay we're just shooting for a month be nice to each other for that long and we're done you know but i think the reason is because it's a startup so they're just doing it temporarily anyway so they it seems like they have enough

money to do this business for three months and in in that three months, they're going to try and sell this business. So to me, it's like a reality show of that. Like this guy trying to make a business that will actually make him money when it's probably like one of 20 terrible ideas he has. Like rich people are already pampered. They don't need to pay you to be pampered. That's what they're doing in Whistler in the first place. They're there at their house with maids. Like what do they need you for?

That's what they're doing in Whistler in the first place. They're there at their house with the maids. What do they need you for? Yeah, and also with the yacht, for some reason it just feels like the stakes are a little higher in the sense that they have to act so professional to these people, and then there's chaos happening. I mean, the last episode of Below Deck, it's a perfect example where things were going to shit,

and they have to like maintain this illusion whereas in this show none of them are professional they're all acting like jackasses and they're walking around i mean they're taking off their clothes they're drinking with the guests they're wearing like shitty clothes i mean with that when that that scene where elise as the manager is like um could you guys try to look more professional? And Lindsay is wearing, like, a North Face, like, fleece or something and a snow cap and, like, spandex. I don't know what she's wearing. She's like, I feel like this is pretty dressed up. I'm like, you are an idiot.

Well, the thing is that this girl, Elise, doesn't understand is that that is. I mean, she is dressed very cute. They're in freezing cold weather in snow all day. You cannot be wearing high heels and stockings. Yeah, but they looked like schlubs, though. They were dressed up, but they were like,

there's got to be a way to be a luxury. There's got to be a way to dress warmly as a luxury concierge. But they're not wearing heels, but something that's functional but also fashionable.

I mean, they did look like Shelton. They were like, well, it's mountain. It's mountain. This is mountain. This is mountaintop. Let me tell you, there is something with mountain people. There is something with them. They all do that.

They all say that. They're like, oh, you're a mountain person. Awesome. My best friend is like that. Ah, Montana. Oh, my God. In Montana, it's different. But that's not how we do things in Montana.

You know, we should go camping because in Montana, I'm like, this is not Montana. Okay. Embrace them all, bitch. I'm not going to, I'm not going to go camping. Stop. Stop asking me every month. I'm not doing it ever again. I had to poop in a hole.

No. But they do that. They're like, oh, you're mountain people. Wow. And basically that means you like stringy hair, putting on deodorant every three days and like laying down while occasionally playing outside sounds good to me you sound like a dog yeah they're kind of like assholes i mean and on this show they're kind of like whatever this is not the way we do it this

is not how you do mountain that's not how mountain is like la people but in mountains like they're so not la like they're so not mountain but i'm kind of like well it may not be mountain but you know what these people are rich people and they're not paying for. But I'm kind of like, well, it may not be mountain, but you know what? These people are rich people and they're not paying for mountain. If they wanted mountain, they could go to like Denny's and hire someone for, you know, $25 to show them the mountains or something. You know, like this is, you're supposed to be a luxury concierge. At least try to look the part in some way. Jesus.

The casting is so weird because none of them actually do these jobs like none of them are actually doing these jobs they're just actors and they say it right up front that they don't know what they're doing so even the boss um what's her buns the the kate of this show whatever her name is oh you mean elise yeah the thing is the difference is she's not good like she's not good at her job and she's acting like this is i don't know like big brother or something where people leave she's like i'm doing this for my daughter i left my my seven-year-old or my six-year-old or whatever to do to give her a better life like what do you think is gonna happen after this you're gonna get fired and they're gonna hire

somebody else to run the company when it's purchased like that's how it works but you know i kind of like her because she's so sad and angry. And I know really all she needs is a hug. And so I want to get to know her so that I can never hug her and just keep it going. See, I like her and Kendra, who is the other city girl. I like them the most.

But even saying that, Elise is not professional at all. When she's in that gondola um and they're going up and something happens and and they ask her what like the what the mountain is they're going up to she's like oh i'm actually not sure at all and they're like oh that he makes a joke like bad management she's like actually are you having a good time because he's like yeah he's like well since you're having a good time i think that's actually good management skills actually i'm like well she fought with the customer in a gondola

where you can't leave like you can't just get out so then they're stuck in this awful long ride and like the girlfriend's terrified or whatever so then they get to the top of this stupid mountain oh my god this is where it actually got good because the people they're getting are awful so now the real people you know it's almost like Top Chef now where the real customer or the real dinner guests. Didn't they do a Top Chef challenge with a quick fire where they had to make something on that gondola ride that they were, you know. Yes. Right. Yes.

They all had to three make something on the gondola. That was so funny. But yeah, this one is like when they have the real people like who are the audience members or whatever at the dining experience and at first it used to be people like well this maybe is a bit undersalted and now it's full of drama queens who are like i have never been so disgusted with a meal in my life and you're like oh shut up real person be quiet no one's that no one really cares what you think and that's kind of this show so the people are ready to start drama already it's this idiot these idiot people yeah on this one. And the girl,

it's like some rich guy with some girl who's way too young and way too hot for him as usual. And she's a fucking idiot as usual. And she's sitting there like, I'm a vegan. You guys know that, right? Maybe you should have mentioned that before you were on top of a fucking mountain,

dude. Well, also, so even before that, like they had to get to the gondola and they were wearing heels. Which, admittedly, they should not have been, like, it's not good terrain for heels. But she was like, you know, like, they told us to wear a cute outfit. And wearing shoes, cute shoes, is part of a cute outfit.

I was like, oh, my God, shut up. They did tell her that, though, because she said, well, are we allowed to wear heels? And the girl's like, yeah, well, I'm wearing heels, so if I because she said well are we allowed to wear heels and the girl's like yeah well i'm wearing heels so if i'm allowed to you're allowed to no it's not am i allowed to it's like yeah do heels work in the snow but how would she know i mean yeah they don't know i mean it was definitely the company's fault on that front but still the way the girl was like they told me to wear a cute outfit and this is perfect outfit so and then they get in the gondola and you know the the guy her boyfriend had spoken to the to these concierges and said yeah the only thing is that my girlfriend has to eat organic but that's it and so they get on

there like well elise is like well we got a plate of charcuterie that you're gonna enjoy and she's like um i'm vegan so i don't eat sharks yeah i don't care how cute they are and meanwhile elise is like well you can have some bignolis and she's like no yeah the boss she's like well yes we we've totally planned for that have some lovely seeds she's such a bitch that was so funny and then when they were like well we can't walk on the snow because i have heels and she goes she tells us i'm gonna fix this because that's my job and that's what i do yeah she goes it cuts to her fixing it she goes well here's what's gonna happen you've got to get on the gondola and there's snow so you're gonna

have to walk across the snow it's like wow wow you dealt with it by yelling at the customers yeah i thought she was gonna go like fine like a like a hat or something or like do that thing like in shakespeare in love putting down the capes that way queen elizabeth doesn't have to step in the puddle but instead she's just like okay well i guess you'll have to get on the back of the guys so here's weasel walk on her yeah that was so funny she is not built for this job she's just telling everybody off so they go oh go ahead go ahead no i like it i like how you do it this is so good it's like Yeah, that was so funny. She is not built for this job. She's just telling everybody off. So they go, oh, go ahead, go ahead.

I like how you do it. This is so good. It's like kind of watching it in semi-fast forward and just commenting on things I like. So then they get into the gondola, and she's like, I'm vegan. And they're like, oh, okay. She's like, yeah, so I can't have any of this. And then she's like, I'm really high up.

This is making me sick. I want to get off this right now. Is like i want to get off this like right now is there any way to get the office right now i'm like bitch do you see where you are you are dangling in between two different mountains there is no i'm gonna get out and then the manager starts calling people on the ground she's like we have a situation we have to get the fucking bimbo and a fake fur off the off the gondola like what are you going to do? You wouldn't even help her walk across snow. You're not going to get her off the gondola. So funny.

And then she's trying to make everybody calm. You know how the manager comes to your table if there's a problem? Like, oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Can we get you a free dessert? So she's like, well, is there anything we can do to make this situation i guess like less of you being a cut fitness how about that and the girl the guy goes yeah you can give us our money back you're on bravo getting a trip for free and you're still asking for your money back these people must really suck yeah you know uh you know definitely i was, I mean, thank God for this whole scene.

Because before this whole scene, I was like, no, this show's okay. But when this happened, I was like, okay, this is entertaining. This entire scenario is totally contrived. But I'm enjoying it. The reason I actually did like it was because I think that there is really strong potential for the people on this show to be crazy. Every one of them is nuts. And they're just behaving right now. Cause it just started,

but they're all crazy. And the one, the, the first note I wrote is nerd girl with makeover. Yes. Eyebrows. So she's, she's like the nerdy.

She, you know, that she's a nerdy girl who like masturbated in the locker room and picked her nose in high school and then got a makeover. And so now she's like, cool, but her eyes are too wide open because she's thinking too hard about everything like you just know she's a nerd and her eyebrows are too like perfect and i was like i cannot wait till she opens her mouth and sure enough she's like yeah well here's what i think and then she

speaks in these old memes like everything she says she'll be like that guy's so sexy it's always friday night for him like everything's so little like cat meme it's so good and i wrote down a bunch of them she is she is one of those she's like well it's uh it's work in the front and party in the back whenever she's one of those people. That's the way it fumbles. Everything is the same. Yes. Yes. Yeah, her eyebrows were out of control.

I mean, little caterpillars up there. And she was so dumb. She was so dumb. And she was snotty, too. But I loved when Elise, as the manager, was trying to get to know the staff. And she's like, what would you say your greatest weakness is? And she's like, I'm not detail-oriented. Yeah, maybe your biggest weakness is you don't know how to answer questions properly.

And she did something really snotty during the show where I was just like, you know what I did not like? Because Elise comes in dressed up to the office, admittedly a little bit overdone. She's got the stupid Meghan King Edmonds headband thing that I hate a gold headband with her hair all messed up she looked fucking ridiculous

let's admit it and she's trying to run a meeting you will never get respect because of your stupid gold headband it all comes down to that in the end she overdid it but for some reason I really didn't like the way this girl charlotte and jim who is like the hunk uh we're just kind of like she's dressed like she's going

she's from vegas she's going out to vegas i'm like you know what enough that's your boss i mean of course everyone likes to talk shit about their boss but for some reason when they did it i kind of felt like they're being snotty like there's one thing about talking about your boss behind her back but like clearly not giving her respect and starting shit with her publicly is not cool even though she's a terrible boss and she kind of deserves it she's obviously never done this before and then when the oh well one thing is when she goes in they confront her at one point they get in a fight because there's a professional skier who's like extreme sports and she's famous and so you think she's gonna come on to like lead them in some way and she comes on she's like i'm a skateboard i'm famous and like extreme sports like when i heard about this opportunity to come be a waiter

i was like hell yeah so she shows up later than everybody else they're all in the middle of a meeting she comes in late and she's like hey dudes what's up and she sits down in the middle of the meeting and she goes so how about everybody tell me a little bit about themselves how about you headband who are you and she's like, your boss? She goes, oh, wow, very authoritative. Good job. Yeah. I know. I think it was that. I think the reason why I was, like, angry at them making fun of Elise's outfit is because up until that point, any time Jim or Lindsay or Charlotte, who are basically the three white people. There's also the gay guy, Bobby,

but he wasn't bothering me as much. But up until that point, anytime they spoke, it was this whiny, entitled thing. We're just part of the mountain. We're just open-minded people or whatever. And then they are just being little bitches. I don't know.

For some reason, I just hated them immediately. Mountain snobbery. I'm telling you, it's in every town. It's like people here like that's that not out there but it's like you're on a fucking mountain it's all shit okay you're all ridiculous yeah for some reason they just really rubbed me the wrong way so when they came up came for a lease i was like no no she's your boss and she's trying to be professional and you're supposed to be luxury concierges why don't you look professional yeah that none of them do and when the they kind of confronted her about the dress code and they're like well we don't want to look like a stuck-up bitch and then

the ski girl goes well maybe gibbons will spring for some red shoes and then they cut to the boss's red stilettos which are stupid but you can't say that in the staff meeting i don't care if you think you're famous i don't know who you are nobody knows who you are what are you talking about it's like sky skiing who cares you're trying to ski in the sky if you think you're famous. I don't know who you are. Nobody knows who you are. What are you even talking about? It's like sky skiing. Who cares? You're trying to ski in the sky. That's dumb. You're going to break your neck.

That's stupid. And you're also fucking the biggest HIV risk on the entire show. That guy is such a whore. He's like, I'm hot and I fuck everything I see. Well, you know what? Cover up. Wrap it in saran wrap. Because you're about to get another hot girl in trouble.

And all the hot people immediately want to fuck each other. It's so dumb. And I love watching it. I really liked it. That ski girl is going to be crazy. The professional skier or snowboarder is going to be a nut. When she walked in,

like you were saying, and started asking people, she started acting as if she was the supervisor. And then she asked, and I'm sorry, sorry who are you i'm like you you are going to get you know like you are a crazy crazy stoned bitch right now those hippies the ones who pretend that they're all cool hippies are always the most evil underneath that's why they go to fucking yoga every day okay they're trying to work through this shit right i also by the way bobby the gay guy like he seems pretty cool but one thing i don't like so he takes these three cougars essentially to hot springs they're hanging around and like he's like fetching them things but he's in his underwear and

he's like he's like yeah it's not my first time uh what having straight women want to have sex with me i'm like you know what just calm down all right they don't want to have sex with you they're literally making you go chip off ice off the mountain to put in their drinks right around your underwear give us glacier ice boy because legit the main hot guy is gone when they when they got the ladies a strip like a stripper he was just wearing an apron and bringing them champagne and they're like wow a stripper well you know who we'd rather see how about you trade that apron for your clothes and they're talking to the hot guy and poor poor gay guy immediately was relegated to rubble status like immediately it's like there we go it's the alpha the alpha is the hot one and even though you work out and never eat and are fairly cute and fairly tame for a bravo gay

you're still the rubble in the end yeah i mean i generally liked him but i didn't like that that moment of cockiness like just just calm yourself not every woman i'm sure wants to have sex with you well especially when he's like you guys i just have to say this your tits wow because they did have all of those like we just got divorced let's all get gigantic glad bags full of saline that we can't even walk with. You know? So, so, so funny. I like him.

I mean, I like him okay because he's still gay enough without, like, being, you know, too Bravo-y. He's not like Real Housewives of Atlanta yet. He's not like Dwight Eubanks or something like that. Yes. So I do like it. But I will say, by the way, about the outfits, I don't understand why the owner joey gibbons didn't actually get them uniforms i mean it doesn't it's surprising to me i mean i'm even a low deck concierge in a hotel should wear a uniform but not like that not when they're out on the town like working around they should just look nice i

think it's like the vegas the people who work in Vegas. That's like our family vacation spot. When I was growing up, I've been there a zillion times. And so all the like high roller, you know, whatever the concierge, what are they called? This is not concierge,

but it's something like that. They take care of the rich people. They just look really nice and they're in suits and they're wheelers and dealers and have gorgeous offices where they try and trick you into doing shit, you know, and they need more of that on this show. Maybe the mountain version but i think that like i think that if it were me if i were doing some sort of concierge company because what i would do is you

don't have the context of an entire casino around you so it's like someone dressed up in the casino like that you know that they work with the casino and i don't know i think that well and also that's trying to impress poor people don't forget exactly Usually they're just trying to get poor people to sign up for the thing. So rich people don't need it. Yeah. Like I think that like, I mean, just for the branding alone, like they should have, you know, special jackets that say something like Gibbons company or whatever. I mean, if you look at Blow Deck, they're all in uniform.

It also has arrows. You know, I just... You can't even get a new Photoshop photo for that. Okay. He literally copied the sarah lee logo and just retyped it because that's all it is it's like a cross between sarah lee and ego i i will say ultimately that with below deck you do feel like there even if even if people have been cast to be on the show there are people people on there who do work on yachts and that

there is an expectation of service and there is an acknowledgement of the wealth. Knowing that you have to provide service that is on the same level of the amount of money that is being put

into this. I feel like on this show, it does not rata right is that where whistler is where is whistler no whistler's in uh british columbia oh yeah they're in canada that's right um so the thing is it just it just feels like uh these people are it doesn't feel luxurious at all well i'm from austin so austin is like that it's like a town where it's like a ton of rich people but people will show up to a formal event in jeans and a nice shirt and that's like their that's just their way that's mountain people ben you won't understand them you'll never understand them because you're not a mountain person being i suppose so um that lady so there was a fight on the there was a fight about the

outfits and the boss got upset and she knew she lost her audience so she pulled the but i gave up a lot of things for this to be on american idol like what are you even talking about like i gave up so much for this i left my baby for this and you know what i'm really sick of people on reality shows acting like that's a positive thing you're admitting to leaving your fucking child to come be on a bravo show that's probably paying you $20 an hour. Like, please stop bragging like you're a great mother. That makes you an absentee parent, fool. I know. It's like, oh, great.

So you decided you wanted to take a shortcut in life and try to cash in on a reality show instead of working hard like a good American. Bring your kid with you. Or, I don't know, just leave the kid. I don't even care if you leave the kid. But don't make me feel bad. It's kind of the brooks thing don't date brooks and then make me feel bad about it later it's your shitty choice like i'm not gonna feel bad because you left your kid it's not like someone murdered your child and then kidnapped you and put you in a ski town

lady yeah and also google your town darling no stilettos but in general i like her and i can't wait to see her not get hugged by anybody and just get sadder yeah I like the show I'm looking forward to it I think um I feel like this is a good way to recap it until one of our other shows drops out um so you know we'll give it we'll give it the full crap in the recap of another show yeah when we get into the characters and stuff maybe but you know frankly I'm just sick of having my heart broken by bravo i get into this shit they cancel it then i'm upset and people are like why why is it mostly housewives because we know the bitches like we're talking about shit we care about when it's just stupid shit that they're trying to make a nickel off of by throwing you know a bunch of idiots in

a mountain or you know who knows like the next one could be like people who work in a locker room at a football stadium. I would watch that. I'd watch that. Yeah, for the butt alone. But, yeah, you know, I don't know. You got to prove it, guys. Do something. And I like it so far, but I can't wait to see Nerd Hot Girl.

I cannot wait to see all the memes because I literally wrote down five today. So you go, girl. I'm excited to see where it goes um so anyway i think that's basically it that'll do it so thank you guys so much for listening to watch what crap ends that was what crep and uh we appreciate your support come to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends for bonus episodes come on to facebook.com at facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and come to watch what crap ends to find watch what crap ends.com to find all of our social media it'll probably look like crap till next week but

the links are all still there and that'll do it we love you guys we will talk to you thursday with miss kate shastain oh i'm so excited bye bye everybody hey prime members you can listen to watch what crap ends ad free on amazon music Bye, everybody.