Watch What Crappens - #2348 PumpRules: Ta Ta, HOE!

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

**This is part one of a two-part recapThe Vanderpump Rules gang is still in Tahoe for Sandovals bs redemption arc, and he can’t keep his mask on for two seconds. LaLa has it out with Tom, Brock wears more tiny panties, and Scheana snot sobs over a lost friendship with PayPal bennies. Enjoy! Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello and welcome to Watch for Crappins, to podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and perfect Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, how are you? I'm doing great. I'm broadcasting from the middle of Lake Tahoe today. I'm actually just floating on the lake recording live at this moment.

I love it. That's so gorgeous. Yes. And I'm glad that you're in a safe place where we can talk about what a victim Tom Sandoval is in all this really. Someone left a comment saying, wait, you guys, please forgive Sandoval. It's getting toxic. Well, welcome to the environment Sandoval has created.

And I'm not apologizing to you for not liking somebody being toxic. Are you fucking kidding me? The scandal literally just happened five minutes ago. Okay, I'm still not over shit that happened in the fifth grade. You think I'm going to get over this immediately? And yes, I know it didn't happen to me, but it did happen to me because I'm a viewer of Bravo. Okay, where's my apology?

I'm sorry. I don't think in season 11 of Van der Pumph Rules, we're supposed to be surprised that something is getting toxic. That was the premise of the show. It's getting toxic. I think that's actually what the name of the show was originally when it was pitched. Okay, we got this show about waiters and waitresses

in West Hollywood. We're gonna call it, it's getting toxic. That's part and parcel with Vanderpump Rules. Things get toxic. So anyway, speaking of things that are not toxic, us, okay? And we are bringing our non-toxic selves to audiences. And May, in the start of May, where we are part of the Netflix as a joke festival,

that's gonna be at the Cucaburra Lounge in Hollywood. That's gonna be amazing fun. That's gonna be on May 3rd. And then on May 24th, we're going to London in the UK. And then the next night we're going to Dublin. And then a few nights later, we're going to Birmingham. So we have our first ever European tour. All the tickets are at watchercrapins.com. Also access our Patreon via watchercrapins.com. You can of course get our weekly bonus episode by doing that.

This week we are going to be recapping Summer House. Last week we did the first part of the Miami reunion. This week it's gonna be Summer House. Sort of rotate things in and out of the bonus episode as we see fit. It's really fun, go check that out. Plus of course, even more excitingly, there's Crap It's On Demand

where you can not just listen to us, you can watch us. You can see beautiful Lake Tahoe behind me if you are doing Crap It's On Demand where you can not just listen to us, you can watch us, you can see beautiful Lake Tahoe behind me if you are doing Crap It's On Demand. And usually you can see Ronnie's dog Bueller in the background, but I don't know where Bueller is today. He's actually on his floor bed today. I'm not really sure what his, he's been wanting to eat for like three hours. So he's very upset. When he gets upset with me, he doesn't even bother giving me guilt licks. He's just like, I'll be over here on the side being ignored. Wow. Always.

Well, anyone who's watching this on crappens on demand just have to address the fact that I'm the color of a hot dog today. It's because I got my monthly chemical peel and I will start looking very crusty any minute now. My, my face is gonna start mulching. I'm going to start mulching. So that's what's going on with me. Get out the Ben semester.

I'm ready to go. You are multi-talented. Also, by the way, we have a Discord community. I feel like we don't talk about it a lot, but we have it and it's thriving and it's wonderful. And there's always a lot of fun people there. And that is also accessible via Patreon. So shout out to all the people on Discord who've made

actually like probably a very, I would say one of the most lovely Bravo communities on the Internet is that Discord. Everyone's just like really nice and true. Well don't advertise it for Christ's sake. So toxic people say no. You'll ruin it within two seconds. I know, sorry. Don't forget. Sorry Discord, I ruined you. I ruined you. All right, let's get into the show. It is a big one. Um, you know, if you like deluding yourself and pretending bad people are good people for the sake of having a TV show to shoot on. Um, as far as sobriety goes, love this for you guys. I really do.

I'm dabbling myself, uh, in it. And guess what? Nobody wants to watch me on TV. So cut the crap. Okay. Can't have you all completely sober all the time talking about your fee fees, okay? You're not that old.

I mean, Jesus Christ, I could be each one of your parent. Well, close to each one of your, your all's parents. You need to make an effort. You're young, get out there and live your life. You bunch of sitters, you bunch of sitter arounders. Yeah, good, you tell them. You tell them. I love this episode

I have to say I think that most people will say this episode was boring. I Was deeply into it. I was involved. I I loved it. I don't know. I don't know why I'm really handsome We had some Vanderpump rule classics happen in this one, right? Yeah. Yeah, we had she now she knows the real victim We had the Katie just to be like smug Katie being her smuggest. You know, Penny, Chef Penny getting her way when she know totally turns out to just be she now. But Katie's like, I told you so.

Smug face now with like 90s grunge hair. You're right, Chef Penny, sexy, Chef Penny back. Sexy, Chef Penny, just like. Run it, run on the tables, you know, just like taking over. There's something about her. Well, I also see Chef Penny deserved, you know, I know it's not her restaurant, but she's the one who had to pick up the dog shit or the human shit on the patio. So she gets to run the show a little bit. I think so.

You're when you're the person actually they're picking up the shit off the stoop. It is your restaurant and no you guys don't have much to say about it. That's how it is. If you wanted to have something to say about it, you wouldn't have hired Chef Penny. Okay. Yeah, that's true too. Do your homework, wash food network star, because you would have known what you're getting involved with. Honestly, if you're the one picking up the shit, then you should be the one running the shit. And so I think that's probably her mentality. Well, that's true. Yes. That is why the stay at home parent,

they're always gonna win in an argument. Like, and I think that they should, because every time there's an argument, it's like, who has more of a job? A stay at home parent or the person who goes out there and makes the money, but I raise the kids. And what's a more important job than that? You know, and that's always a fight we hear in, you know,

I guess patriarchal families or like stereotypical families like mine that I grew up in. And I say, yeah, the person who gets shit flung at their face wins every fight. Like you get to go to the office every day. Chef Penny wins. Now, in Chef Penny's non-defense, have you ever heard anybody say

of one of Lisa Vanderpump's restaurants, wow, the food there's good? Never, I've never heard it. She's had multiple restaurants, I've never fucking heard it. And guess why, it's because Chef Penny is the chef for all those restaurants. Well, I will say that Tuna Tartare at Pump was nice. And actually the Buffalo cauliflower at Tom Tom

is pretty slammin', but I don't think that's a Chef Penny creation. I think they actually have a different chef over there at Tom Tom. Yeah. But also Tom Tom's one of those California cuisine places that's like, we cut some tomatoes up and put them on a plate.

And people are like, oh my God, this is revolutionary, a tomato. And then they call it like California cuisine where they don't have to cook anything. And they don't even have to cut it right. They just call it rustic Californian, throw some fucking vegetables on the plate and people rave about it, you know,

and they paid like $30 for it. I'll never forget going to sir, having dinner at sir, and you know, the whole place, it's, you know, we all know what sir looks like. I don't have to describe it, but it's pretending to be this kind of like, chic, sexy, you know, trendy restaurant. And then you open up the menu.

I mean, this was also like eight years ago. So the menu is probably different now, but everything was like meatloaf, spaghetti, Alfredo. It was all like very retro. And then I wound up getting an enchilada, cause of course, why not have an enchilada listen to Xilizania? And it was, this enchilada was so massive.

It was like I had gone to, I don't know a place that serves enchiladas that big. It was the biggest enchilada I've had in my life. It was literally like one of the sandworms from Dune. That size, except enchilada form. And by the way, it was delicious, but it was so massively inelegant. And it just was such a funny thing to serve

at this restaurant that's trying to be chic and sexy. So the point is this, the menu has always been. I've always liked there, like, I'm gonna have goat cheese balls, but everyone goes there for goat cheese balls, so you can't get them on the happy hour menu. Because of course that's when us cheap tourists go. So on the happy hour menu,

you can only get goat cheese and bananas and to get goat cheese balls you have to come to dinner and pay more money for the bowls and so I was like fuck this place I'm going to fucking pump because at least there's like gays and tight shirts there so I would go there and I always had the salmon and that was fine but like how can you fuck up a salmon? You know? You want that they never did. I mean, they'd fuck up a salmon plenty. I just remembered that one time, I remember the one time I went to pump with you

and I was like, Leah Black, and I ordered a seafood salad or a shrimp salad. It was a shrimp salad. And I had just gotten over some terrible food poisoning and I was like, I don't know why I decided shrimp salad. I don't know, babe, there are some things that just sound, you just know by the sound that they're wrong to order it at least if you have some joint.

I think in my mind, I was like, I gotta eat something. This seems sort of healthy. It's like fish. And so I was thinking I'd be getting a salad with some like roasted shrimp on it, like grilled shrimp. And it was those frozen mini shrimp that like I don't even know what those mini shrimp are used for. Like I don't know like the type like when I'm talking mini shrimp, the ones that are liberally the size of like a fingernail, a pinky finger, you know that type that what do

you call it that like baby shrimp and it was just a pile of them on top of a salad and it was it was so heinous. Like I always think of that salad. It's like ordering condoms at a dollar store. Like there are some things you just know, you should know, you should have the instinct just not to order at a chef penny joint, you know? Seafood salad. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

I mean was that a, enchilada, ding, ding, ding, ding. Do we think that was a chef, well the enchilada, that was, sir is Chef Joe. So that's not Chef Penny. No, no, no. sir is not chef Joe. That's a cook. Joe's a cook.

He's not a chef. No, but he was the one who was like, he had some sort of like turnip soup one time that he presented. He'd make a special occasionally, but I don't think Joe was the chef to cuisine. I think that that was Penny. I think no, I think she was coming up with the sexy menu. I thought Penny was brought in initially for pump. And then she started consulting at the different restaurants.

Oh, I could be wrong. Anyway, my point is this show really doesn't care. You know, they bring terrible people back year after year because it's entertaining. But what's their excuse for Penny? Like literally not one good review ever. I've never and we've met hundreds of people who've climbed these restaurants at this point. No one has ever said that was good review ever. I've never, and we've met hundreds of people who've climbed these restaurants at this point. No one has ever said, that was good. Never.

Even the goat cheese balls, people say those are okay. You know? Okay, so let's move on finally to this recap, since that is what we're here. And it is- I really enjoyed that deep dive into the Vanderpump world of food, though. I'm not gonna lie,

that was a really fun diversion for me. Yeah, so it was a nice time. It's been a long time, you know? You don't have to check in sometimes. Yeah. Okay, so we are here in Lake Tahoe and we previously, we are seeing shots of Sheena calling Sandoval a narcissist and back alley a palm.

I think everything we're doing is like a, definitionval a narcissist in the back alley of POM. I was like, everything you're doing is like a definition of a narcissist. Like, no, man, it's not. Like you should look at that, man. Dude. This was, I don't think we even appreciated how glorious that scene was when it, when it happened, but that was a very classic at Vanderpump rule scene, just in the trash alley, you know, and she and I thinking she looks so cool in her crazy fucking outfit and her sunglasses in the alley at night. Oh, so then let's see. So we open with the morning song.

You know, we've all had neighbors who have played music too loud. Whoever composed that motherfucking song, their neighbors must have hated them. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na still fucking wanna pretend that's cool. I want nothing more than a Nerf gun. Every time I see one of those people, just shoot them off of those things. The paddle board is that the one where you stand? Look at me bouncing. Yeah, that's very, like, you know who loves doing that? You know who loves those paddle boards? People in Orange County. Oh my goodness, you go down to Laguna Beach or Newport.

I mean, it's on the, it's on real houses of OC all the time, but they is like their pickleball, if that they can stand on a board in like a busy harbor. I think that's a perfect way to put it, is their pickleball. Yeah, it's like their pickleball. It's like a step above pickleball. It's like people who would be into pickleball,

but they know that people like rand are into pickleball, and they're like, that's not hot anymore. I will not paddleboard. I'm gonna stand on a board. On a board. Yeah. Because I know Ronnie can't. On paddle. And that gives people some kind of confidence, you know?

If they know I can't do it, but they can. There they are doing it every fucking day. And listen, I live in a paddle board community. I live in a lake town. And I want to go to the lake with an earth guy and start just shooting people off. I'm sick of it. Are there ever big waves on Lake Tahoe?

I guess maybe when it's windy, but I feel like also like paddle boarding on Lake Tahoe, if you really wanted to be cool, you do it in the ocean because that's where that's where shit goes down. And the lake, it's like literally just a lake. I don't know. Oh, you're not a lake person anyway. I am not a lake person.

But before you offend everybody who likes a lake. No, but I'm just saying, like, you're not going to get like waves. Like there's not as much skill involved. So it's like, cool, you're balancing. I probably would not be able to do it, but also you're on a lake. It's like, it's, it's like playing the first course of Mario Kart and being excited that you did the loop. It's like, yeah, but like do rainbow road.

Yeah. Don't be a wuss. Do paddleboarders. Okay. So, um, it's like Tahoe, people are paddleboarding. Well, one guy is paddleboarding because his friends like half taste. They're probably playing pickleball somewhere like from fucking Patrick consisting on paddleboarding alone, like a loser on a wussy lake instead of an ocean.

Don't invite that guy to lunch. So then Allie's like figuring out the courage. I was proud of her. Sandoval is doing electric toothbrush and guys, Lala is doing a manual tongue brush. So I think that shows us the difference between Sandoval and Lala right there. Sandoval electric, lazy, spends more money than he needs to. lala, good old fashion, back to the basics, brush that tongue with a brush. Yeah, yeah, but you know what though? She probably has a lot of tartar, okay? Because guess what? Electric toothbrush, much more throat than, you know, manual, manual oral beast, okay? And so the music is still going, the classical music, And then all of a sudden it's like interrupted.

We hear Brock's voice. We, where's my chocolate? Like he's like the giant in Into the Woods, which was, and we see James eating his chocolates, but I didn't get this because then we find out later that Brock is actually a golf. So I understand why his voice was bellowing out from, you know, the nethereregions of this house. I don't really understand what was going on. I don't understand why they had this whole elaborate musical interlude just to show that James was eating chocolates. They've got nothing.

So then we get this is where we really turn into the part that I love, where we get Tom Sandoval in the musical, where Tom is in bed looking straight right into the camera to make sure it's getting him as he takes notes in his journal that are in big block letters just so we can read them. You know, he's writing as clearly as possible so we can see how much he feels, bro.

And the lyrics to the song are, Feeling lost, feeling less than dirt, dark days, dark thoughts, my heart just hurts. Shadow morphine won't help me. My fragile figuring I had, oh, I'm a fragile figurine about to break. I'm caught on you, I'm caught on you, don't help me. Shut the fuck up. And whoever's saying this song, shut the fuck up, too.

I don't need to hear your fucking bullshit depression. Take a fucking drug like the rest of us and get over it. Okay. The rest of us have to wake up and go to work. Masterbating with your tears. Yeah. So, so take that. 27. Neil Simons.

Neil Diamond or Neil Simon. Take that. Neil from the 27s. So, yeah, he's like, I'm adding an journal. Bro! Dude! Everything in the journal. Did you actually look at the journal page?

I did, I read it. I read it, but I don't know. Wait, you have to use the semi-dart picture, right? Let me get my screen shot. Yeah, let me put it up. Yeah, yeah, let me put it up. Okay, keep it for the rest of my fucking life. Okay, let me zoom in.

Cause it's also like at an angle, so I'm gonna be reading like this. Okay. Hold on I'm making it July 15th 2023 Wednesday Today was one of the craziest filming Something I've had since being on this show Yeah, um Yeah. Um, we walked into the airport and my Sheena called me over and where they were sitting and like, it was like, nothing had happened, bro. Sorry, I'm like, do you see me on the camera here? I'm literally going at them. Why don't I just rotate this fucking photo? Why am I doing this to myself? I'm sitting here like, I know it's like, this is going to be so easy to read and I'm over here like

pinching it open and turning my phone. Okay. Um, so the Sheena called me over to where they were sitting like nothing had happened. Probably one of the worst days to have only gotten one layer of hour only gotten one layer out of our sleep dude. Bro. It's the worst day. I was very emotional. I was very emotional day because of the lack of sleep and feeling overwhelmed. Yeah. I feel I yeah. I feel love from from from everyone the conversation could have been better With James, but it was definitely productive dot dot dot and the next part is like deeply confidential Cuz it was blurred out on camera

Do what is this the freedom of information act where you request a letter and then they black half of it out What's the point of that? I want to see what's in there Kennedy assassination over here. What's going on? Let's let's unbler the journal. What what is he like codes? Is it like the second by the way journal in case you're ever wondering here is my password to my bank account? Okay back to confessions We have the wellness lady today, and I have a really good feeling about it still really reflective They hate him. I hate him And I have a really good feeling about it. Still really reflective. Is that it? I hate him. I hate him.

I hate him. But I like that he's making sure that we see how deep he's getting. He's like, today I went on an aero plane. It was awesome. I was hoping to get wings. Maybe next time though. Darn.

Did you know that Kate Hudson actually has a news channel? I went to the airport and everywhere was Hudson news. I'm so proud of her. I hope to meet her someday. By the way, when you stop drinking, don't just start journaling. That's not a good That's something that people tell you to start doing like you know what you should start doing journaling Trust me. Don't do it. Do you know how many journals? I've left at places that I just leave or I've lost them You know how people how many people now know my insipid inner thoughts and also guess what you realize? How not deep of a person you are my journals are filled with like I Hate that I hate that guy Because he took my parking space and also I thought I was to fit into a large today, but I was still extra large.

I'm pissed. What's the point of even not eating M&Ms after 8pm? Like this is your whole year? Every entry is the same thing. Just drop the pen. Go back to drinking if that's what it takes, but don't write shit like that down guys. Or you could do what I did for many years of my life, which is not really realized I was doing it, but basically journal on the internet for the entire internet to read and see.

And now it just lives there. And everything I felt from like 2008 to about 2014 or so. Oh my God, that's scary. What were you like a, what even was it back then? My old blog. I mean, I had post up. Well, both were recaps and stuff. No, but I had post up that were like,

I wrote a whole post about like, I went to use the laundry machine and my card didn't work and I had just refilled it and now my card wasn't working. Like I wrote like a whole post about that. And I was like, can you believe it? And then I would write things like, I was at the gym once.

I would have my like little, I would do recaps and every now and then I'd tell like a little story in my life. And I was like, can you believe it? I was at the gym and there were these two gays and then one of them used my towel and I couldn't believe it, he used my towel and then he's like, oh, sorry, do you want this back? And I was like, no.

And then I had one about like the issue I had getting out of a parking garage. It was just like two weeks ago. I mean, they're all very relevant stories. They're timeless, one might say. But the point is, I also don't know, what does my voice sound like from 2008? It's probably mortifying.

And I'm sure I probably also said, I feel like I probably use language that is probably not acceptable these days because you never know. Like, probably not, you know, acceptable these days. Because you never know what he like, you know in 2000 that you say things like, and that T word and you're like, well, why would I use that now? Oh yeah, no, no.

Delete everything, that's what I said. Delete everything, delete everything. Delete it all, delete it all. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapin's commercial. Hey, grownups, the Cat in the Hat Cast is a new podcast from Wondery, It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. podcast. That is until he gets a surprise visit to his Fishbowl podcast studio from the Cat in the Hat himself, and it becomes very clear that the cat has other plans for the podcast. And those plans are the opposite of quiet. Sing along to new favorite songs,

try your luck at Titanic tongue twisters, have some fun with wondrous wordplay, and most importantly, bring your family along for all of the adventures in the Cat and the Hatcast. Follow the Cat and the Hatcast on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Cat and the Hatcast early and ad-free on Wondry Plus. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Wondry Kids Plus on Apple Podcasts today. Um, okay, so don't live for today. Live for tomorrow, okay? Think about all the shit people could get on you tomorrow. I mean, raise everything from today and before. I just have to accept it.

I just have to accept it. And if people want to give me a public lashing, I am ready for it. I know me too. No, but I actually don't think I was that bad, but like, I was. And currently I am still. I'm just always afraid.

I'm always afraid that I was. Like, like, what if I did? What if I said something? Okay. So now we can start. I was and currently am still I'm just always afraid. I'm always afraid that I was like like what if I did what if I said something Okay, so now we go to Yeah, let's let's recap the show so the Schwartz is watching birds hump. Is that what they're doing? Flying into each other and then walking around each other and then flying into each other again

It looked like one was like feeding the other maybe but I couldn't tell I also was like are they feeding each other or h walking around each other and then flying into each other again. It looked like one was like feeding the other maybe, but I couldn't tell. I also was like, are they feeding each other or humping or both? I'm not sure, but he was watching it and he was excited and he also thought they were blue jays and I'm pretty sure they were not blue jays. And then we see Lala, she walks over to Sheena, she's like, good morning. Sheesh. And she was like, um, yeah, I liked it. I like didn't go to sleep until like, like two AM.

And then like Brock got up at like five, 30 in the morning and go golfing. And like, huh, I liked, I liked didn't go to sleep until like, like 2am. And then like Brock got up at like 5 30 the morning ago golfing and like, huh, that's my husband. And then the dog pretending to be hippie comes by to say hello. And, um, it was like, hi, nice to meet you. And I'm like, oh my God, that's totally Graham. He's like, suckers. He leaves. And then, um, there, uh, Lala's like, um, have you talked to every

young us? And she's like, Yeah, I was texting her about she said it was like, she's like, what's up? Okay. And I was like, yeah, and she was like, yeah, looks really good from everybody's stories. And then we see the text that says that. And she's saying, I'm honestly, it's been like really beautiful and show. And like everything today has been very surface level and nothing deep and no fights yet. But don't worry, like I'm not best friends with him yet, because I would never

do that to you. Like seriously, but like I hope you're like having a good day realizing how much all of this really affects me. Yeah. Like the thing is, like we're like not welcome and welcoming back with like open arms. It's more like the arms are like really close. Like it's like a it's like we have our like elbows attached to our like sides, but like we're doing like little like T-Rex hugs. That's basically what we're doing. Lala's like, yeah, if this was like your trips or my trips, we would obviously not have him here. So I don't even know why she's worried.

She's like, yeah, he wouldn't be here if it was one of our trips. Like it would totally not be that at all. Yeah, but you know what? I can never forget during COVID, when I had nothing, he totally sent me money on PayPal. So like how can I not forgive him? He gave me money on PayPal. I think that's a pretty good reason to not, uh, to not,

I think that's a pretty good reason to forgive somebody that they've given you a lot of money. Is that shallow? That's shallow, right? Well, I would forgive you too. If you send me a lot of money, I'll forgive you no matter what you do. Yeah, I probably would, but then again, you all, you know, in retrospect, you realize, oh, he was just making a down payment on future transgressions, right?

Like he's basically. I'm okay with that. I'm gonna be mistreated for free, you know what I mean? So, I will definitely be mistreated for money. I would rather be mistreated for money. But it's like only, it's like reverse only fans. Instead of like, you like doing things to get money,

you're actually just like, it's like only, only fails or something. Like you're paying people in advance. That way you can get away with shit. I don't know, I'll workshop that. So she knows like, yeah. That's a good app. You could just like pay people to like emotionally abuse them.

Or maybe you receive payments like you're worth. Hey, well, I just sent you 15 bucks after I fucked your mom. Yeah. Be like, yes, okay. It's like, you know what it is? It's kind of like formalized bribing. Like, hey, everyone, I signed up on OnlyBribe.

So like if you want to like say something or like really obnoxious or have like a really terrible and, you know, outmoded political stance, just like pay me like $5 and I won't come for you on the internet. Great. Yeah. Um, okay. So Tom is shilling by the window, the picture window. Do it is journal brah. Okay. Tom, you're doing a journal. You know, congratulate. You're very, very deep, Tom. Okay. Yeah. We're all buying it. doing a journal. You know, congratulate, you're very, very deep, Tom, okay? Yeah. We're all buying it.

So then we see Ariana living her best life, doing her photos for her book, Single A at Cocktails. Yeah, and she's feeling like really excited about this and she's like, this is my cocktail book. Like this is the book I did before. Like there was a book I did before with Tom and I really think that he thought I couldn't do anything and then we see flashbacks of her like being like,

yeah, I have a drink, I have a Namdae. It's like, why don't you call it like a lemon drop martini booby face? No, what about like, I don't know, like a watermelon lemon drop space rocket? No, what about like closet door margarita? That doesn't even make sense, Tom. Ugh.

And he was like that, you know? Cause I remember when she was like, I'm gonna come out with a book. He's like, why shouldn't I have a bug? I don't want to have a bug. I'm like, I'm the main bartender. You're just like kind of a bartender. But I'm like the main bartender. You're just like kind of a bartender, but I'm like the main bartender.

She's like, front of Tom. So, um, we see her, you know, like with little melon ball drinks and stuff like that and she explains that this is like her breakup album guys. She's been inspired by Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce To make this breakup book, which I mean I kind of like, I actually recapped this book on the podcast Glamrs Trash with Chelsea Devantes. If you want to hear an entire recap of this book, go check out that podcast. It was super fun to drag this silly book.

Good. It really gave me no information, by the way. I was expecting like some serious information from this book. Like I'm buying your tell-all. Her tell-all is like, Tom sucks. And this is why I put melon balls in my martinis. So no. This is my breakup album. This is my lemonade. Okay. Get some pay shots bitters and add them to some rum and a squeeze of lime. And that's that's my emotional experience. It's like, what Huh? So Katie comes over and Arianna is like, wow, I'm doing my book shoot. The chapters are like kind of following the story of my

relationship, you know? And Katie's like, oh my god, I would like one of those, but I mean, can you have a book if every drink is just like dirty river water? Yeah, I've actually been coming up with that too. Chapter two is really strange for me because when the reader starts it, a drink comes out of nowhere and lands on their head. All the drinks are served off of like bad haircuts that I've had from seasons past. This is like a martini, but it served dripping down my ketchup and mustard hair in New Orleans.

Yeah, actually, actually, um, what's the publisher said they couldn't publish my cocktail book. It was too expensive to have every page be like Bob art. Just every page is a canvas, like a black canvas. I really wanted to build, I really only came up with one drink, but it was called, does he have BO or is it the streak? I wish I could remember more things about Kitty.

You're like, is that me? I'm like trying to go through all the defining Kitty moments that I'm like, run out. I think we have, Tom pours tequila on her ring on a string which we didn't mention Tom swimming in a river before their wedding. Just all really tumbling horrible to her. I mean they really do have much more of an epic drink book ahead of them don't they? Katie lost in Mexico just like shit the ingredients from everywhere that Schwartz was that night that he was just lost with missing time in Mexico. Just like ingredients from everywhere that Schwartz was that night,

that he was just lost with missing time in Mexico. You know, it's like, it's like bitters and orange, a cucaracha. What about, she can have a chapter about cocktails you can order when you're sitting in economy and your husband is sitting in firsts. Free peanuts. A drink called free peanuts. Okay, so... I'm actually not mad at this cocktail book now that we've said it. I sort of like it. It's actually good. I mean, I think it's the best idea that Katie has come up with and it's fake Katie. I mean, it's Katie in our head, but we know this restaurant isn't going anywhere.

So might I suggest you just steal the idea from this podcast and go for it. We support you. You know, it may not sound like it over the years. But I think Katie's having great season to be honest. Because it's Katie's, this is a Katie's smug season. And this is like Katie's best, this is like Katie's best resting Katie, you know? When she just gets to sit there and be right without even doing anything.

And I think in that way she totally is having her best season. Now, is it her most entertaining? No, her most entertaining is when she's being pissed off. And so far she's not really been pissed off. She's just passed the point where she can even feel pissed off anymore. Now she's doing that thing where she's like, I won because both of us have the audience behind us and nothing can go wrong. So we're going to get to choose who gets to be in this group now, but nobody is watching to show with a group of two people that don't want to do

anything. Period. Katie, you need to do more guys. Katie's definitely having a showing up season as in like really all she does every episode is show up somewhere like she showed up at the interviews showed up at Tom's place showed up at Lisa's place like that's she just shows up. She shows up. That's okay that's part that's the biggest part of a relationship that's what I've learned from television. Showing up. So okay so they're talking about their drinks and stuff and kind of laughing at them. And then we go to Tom Sandoval doing push-ups. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr meditation lady comes over and Santa ball leads her outside. He introduces her to hippie.

And then they're putting out pads and everything. And she's like, so is there anything you want me to touch on? Well, I mean, since we are alone, well, well, if you're going to touch on yourself, I'm going to go ahead and film it on my FaceTime. By the way, that's a huge step for me to tell somebody before I start doing that. So. Well, you know, basically I was with this girl a long time and like we're all friends and like, you know,

basically I had an affair with like a friend and yeah, it was like kind of bad. I kind of like tore up the group and everything and they sort of hated me, but like, don't know what I've been through for the past five months, bro. It's like hard, man. And, you know, another classic Vanderpump rule saying is just to have a complete flaky, probably fake new age person

come on the show like the rakey girl who will never forget. Yeah. And so Shannon's like, OK, well, I guess we're not going to do Vin Yasa then. Get it? It's like a vinyasa joke. I don't really get it either, but I'm not paid enough to make good jokes. And I'm not paid enough to give a shit about you cheating on somebody. That's just not even bothering with the yoga.

How about you just all sit down in a circle and I will do nothing about that. Yeah. Um, looks like this is a good group for child's pose. Just because you're all childish. It was a little yoga humor. I'm sorry. Sometimes I just can't get out of comedian mode. OK. All right. So she's like a hilarious, a hilarious yoga teacher.

You guys have all been knock knock. Who's there? Dog pose. OK, you guys have all been through a lot. You're a bunch of warriors, warriors, one, two, and three right in front of me, am I right everyone? Your mom is so big, she doesn't sit around the house. She sits under a tree and meditates around the house. Am I right?

Literally, I'm dead. I'm Corpus Pose right now, literally. Okay. All right, baby cobras, here we go. So. Well, we're not gonna be going into yoga comedy anytime soon. Okay. All right, baby cobras. Here we go. So we're all over. We're not going to be going into yoga comedy anytime soon. But you know what comedy comes from experience and I have very little and I used to do yoga

actually but no, those days are long dead. So in my yoga era right now, I go, you are in your yoga era. I love it. I forgot about that. I am the one and oh God, last week when I went to yoga, I was mortified. So there was no room left. I had to go, I had to be in the front row,

like right in front of everyone in front of the windows. So I'm like, you know, that's like pressure because you know, I know when I do yoga, I'm just looking, I never know really what I'm doing. So I have to look at what other people are doing because sometimes the yoga teacher is like wandering out a different part of the room. And so I'm always looking to people who are at the part of the room. And so I'm always looking to people

who are at the front of the class. And so I was on the front and I'm, there was literally one moment where everyone bent to the left and I bent to the right and I was so embarrassed because I was like on display, like Melissa Goricka doing the wrong poses. It was stressful. It was a lot.

I'm disfaying, I'm disfaying, I'm disfaying. It was a lot. So they start, so they're all gathering to do the seated meditation and they're coming into, all right, everyone calm down. Let's enjoy this moment, but where's Brock? Where's Brock? So Brock isn't there yet, but he comes bounding out.

He is basically like a golden retriever bounding down the staircase. Sorry, sorry I'm late everyone. Sorry, so I got stuck on 17. Ah. You were only supposed to play the front nine. I know, but like there's money involved. So you know, we gotta do what you gotta do.

I worry, I worry. Mostly because I watch this show and this show has killed all of my faith in men and relationships but I worry you know just disappearing like that not being there on time during the Scandival season doesn't get any time alone always complaining about the mom constantly being there not getting any time with his wife now he's disappearing I like it please do not be cheating I do not need this from you Brock okay I'm trusting you with your tiny little underwear. I got weird vibes the first second that girl Tori showed up

But I was wasn't sure if it was her or you I don't like it is what I'm gonna say right now Please keep it in your pants keep it in your tiny tiny little pants. I don't cheat I don't need to be screwed over again. This show has already hurt me enough. So, um, so they're getting into this like meditative experience and Shana keeps on looking over at Brock. Huh? Huh? Huh? And he's like not paying attention to her. Yeah. And Shannon's like, um, listen, um, we're gonna, she can see that she knows Mad, right? And so Shannon's like, so where'd you play Brock? And he goes, oh, in South Tahoe. She goes, oh, wow, that's far.

And I wrote, he's fucking Tory. And Sheena's really mad. So then she keeps looking at him while everybody's trying to like do yoga, you know? And Shannon's like, allow yourself to be vulnerable, except for you, Brock. Let's not let Brock be vulnerable. Vulnerability can lead to hard odds.

Brock does not need that right now. Brock, why don't you just go wait in the bathroom alone. Hopefully masturbate so you can get it out of your system because Ronnie doesn't trust you right now. Thank you. All right, you're giving yourself a few moments to be in the moment because if life were made of moments, even just a few, then life would be only moments. Then you never know you had a moment. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I want you to hear the lapping of the lake. I want you to feel the air on your skin. I want you to feel the light touch of Brock's boner as he rolls over in his little sleepy

fell asleep with a heartache. So guys, just close your eyes and just think about this. You take the good, you take the bad, take them both, there you have the facts of life. That's the facts of life. Mm-mm. Streaks on the china, never mattered before, no one cared. But when you dropped kick your jacket

as you walked through the door. No one stared. Flintstones. We're the Flintstones. We're a modern stone age family. Light goes on. Rocks. Go to the bathroom, Brock. Go to the bathroom, Brock. Okay.

So then, uh, Shannon's. You can put me out of here. Shannon's like, just listen to your body, guys. Okay. Give yourselves a minute to be in the moment, okay? I want you to hear the lapping of the lake. I want you to feel the air on your skin. I want you to feel yourself aging

because every minute you're getting older and your faces are sagging and you're no longer cute enough to get away with this bullshit, I'll tell you that. Like, whoa, Shannon, Jesus Christ, Shannon Shannon lighten up. I know she got real Getting dark there Shannon Here comes one right now Then we had like a like a not David Fincher, but like we had like a

What's the guy who did the movie pie? No, that guy. Anyway, I remember that movie. I was like, I thought this was about pie, not math. That's a strange movie. And then I was disappointed when I went to Waitress because I thought that was about a waitress

who got out of a bad relationship by knowing math. I mean, what the hell? It's like I just can't win. Darren Aronofsky. We have like a Darren Aronofsky peek into Tom Sandeval's brain because it's like, dude, all the things in the past year, all these emotions. It's like all his fights that he's had

and Ariana being like, I don't care what the fuck about Rick L. Sheena being like, you're the definition of an assess. And all these things like it's all coming back. It's all flashing back. I also love for him, dude's all coming back. It's all flashing back I'm also in love for him dude. So coming back to me now my favorite is when

Ariana's like I don't give a fucking fucking about fucking with K.L. Your face is in explosion. And then he goes against the window and he puts his hand up to his head he goes Uggh I'm gonna get the fuck out of here It's my favorite. Okay, let go of your labels everyone. Let go of your labels. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Labels are important. They tell you how many calories and things. They tell you if something has poison in it, okay? Listen to labels. And people who say labels aren't important

have bad ingredients inside of them, okay? They're trying to detract from that. Don't trust those people who say don't believe in labels. Don't label me. So then Shana's like, okay, feel the whole person you're next to and turn your, go back to back. And I want you to be as comfortable as you can be there. So now Sheena is back to back with Sandoval

and she's like very uncomfortable. I think that like there is a good, I think that a portion of her discomfort must pertain to the fact that she is back to back with Sandoval and she knows she's supposed to have like an emotional moment with him and she's afraid she's gonna get into trouble with Ariana in this moment. Yes.

Yeah, and she is. She's correct. She is correct. And she will be. Yes. And so Shannon's like, talk to the people behind you. Just happens to be the one that's already crying.

Go ahead, Sheena, let's do it. And then Schwartz is with James, I mean with Laala, and he's like, I don't feel, I don't need anything right now. So I don't even need to think about, you don't need to think about what I need. Nothing. I'm completely fine. Lala's like, I need you to die. And she was like, I feel quite balanced right now. I'm balanced. And then Shannon's like, Oh my God, guys, this is, you need to, you need to not say you're okay. And you need to practice assertiveness. And Sheena's like, oh my God, guys, this is, you need to not say you're okay, and you need to practice assertiveness. And she knows like, okay, okay, I'm not okay, I'm not up.

She wasn't talking to you, Sheena. You've been crying for 10 minutes already, all right? She's talking to Schwartz. But Sheena's also pissed because since there's an odd number of people, Ali, Ali Belly and James have to welcome Brock into their back-to-back exercise. They have this little trio of backs.

She's like, Brock, if you're going to do a trio of backs, why don't you do a trio of backs with me? Why are you doing it with me? It just feels like you should do it with me. I don't know why you're not doing that. She is so mad that Brock is back-to-back with Ali-Bali and James. Yeah. He's like, well, you got to do what you got to do.

I got to do what I got to do. I still smell like tea I got to do. I smell, I still smell like tea time. If you know what I mean, you go on over there. I'm saying, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this around time. And then Tim said, how do you feel Brock? And he's like, wait, Brock, I just, you're all right. It just felt some gurgling and you're breathing. I farted. Shorts.

I mean, Lala's like, hey, you know what's really crazy about this meditation experience is that my back is suddenly wet. Oh yeah. Sorry, I was just in a river. Oh, okay. Well, thanks. Oh my God. I feel like you're really warming up to me, bro.

I just farted again. Breakfast burrito. All right. It was a long way from South Tahoe? James is like oh, I just got an ice cube fell on my head. Oh, sorry darlings I'm just I saw you were down there I decided to reroute my private plane right over your head again James just to make sure you felt like you at home So she never runs off she's like I don't need to be touching people. And Brock chases after her. And they're in the kitchen. He's like, listen, here's what

you need to take a beat. All right. Now I know ever since you've restarted your music career, one word that you really don't like hearing is you're off the beat, but you need to concentrate on it. All right. You know, and if you're uncomfortable, you need to be able to say you're uncomfortable all right like people do when they hear you sing you know everybody has the right to have ears what were we talking about the key is you need to take a beat as someone who enjoys a beat or two you know what I'm saying okay that's somebody that's to take a beat every time you refuse to go out on date night with me so someone's bet to go into that bathroom and beat one out myself.

I'm gonna say take a beat. So he's best to. I would like to do this meditation thing with my husband. Like oh come on. Your husband was just yelling at you in a store, you know? Like leave him alone. Go meditate with somebody else. You can meditate with him like literally all day long.

So then shorts, outside shorts is like, oh gosh, I saw this beautiful blue jay earlier. It was massive. That's my story. Oh, I haven't seen a blue jay in so long. Apparently they resemble communication. Um, I'm pretty sure I've still don't feel like that was a blue jay. I don't know.

I'm just want to put that out there maybe our Ornithologists and our our burders in the audience can weigh in I wasn't paying a huge amount of attention but I feel like I've seen blue J's and that was not a blue J and Santa was like I've never seen a blue J in my life Which I was like he's like why haven't seen one in a while. Yeah, they resemble communication. Well, listen to them. They're saying, take a shower. Just once. So, Lola's like, oh, that's that figures.

I mean, that would be really armonics considering today's about communications. Come on, Shayna, come on out there. It's not about being best friends, it's just about talking. She's like, do not hug me, do not hug me. I want you to be back on time. Come on, come on now. All right, we'll have it this.

What if instead of talking, we did your redo that there? Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. So she goes back outside because she'd like wanted time for Brock to apologize, but he didn't do it right. So she's like, whatever. So she goes back and James is like, oh, you okay, Sheena? She's like, I don't feel well today. I'm not comfortable.

I do not like sitting back to back with people who I'm going to get in trouble for sitting back to back. And Shannon's like, okay, but does everyone feel okay? And do they feel like the person behind them feels okay? Shannon, stop playing it on so fucking heavy, okay? Okay, everyone, come back to the puzzle where you feel like you are whole. Okay, so you're a completed puzzle.

I don't know if that concept has ever really happened with any of you people. Have you had any of you guys ever finished a jigsaw puzzle in your life? Don't. Okay, so guys I want you to feel whole. Tom Sandoval, let's talk about all the holes that you felt. Hey, wait a minute, bro.

You're supposed to be on my side. So she was like crying. She was like, okay, I guess I'll pull like my back up against America's most hated person, which I guess makes me the most hated person by back to back communication. So she's crying. She's literally losing it right now during this meditation. And she's like, oh my God, like people have been so mean to me over the years.

And like Tom was always there for me. Like remember when people were so mean to me when I tried to just give them and these enchiladas? And we see like enchil at night where Sheena is like eating enchiladas even though everybody's being mean to her. And didn't even have a special thing that was empty centraladas. Or enchiladas are my thing. So then we see another one where she's like, oh my God, I can't cry because my eyelashes are mink.

And he's like, I understand, bro. And then, you know, just all the memories guys. And Shannon's like, guys, I want you to feel the beating of their heart and the rhythm of their breath. Oh! Sorry, she said she wanted to feel the rhythm of my breath. That was my butt's breath. Stop farting on me!

Stop farting on Ally Belly. Poor Ally. Poor Ally just can't learn. She's like blowing into the river. And I didn't even do it on purpose that time. She just buried. I didn't realize how lot she is. It's like, you know, when you,

have you ever done that thing where you put down a book next to a piece of paper and the paper goes flying across the room? That's kind of like your girlfriend. So she's like, okay, steady and mind-blowing as you can. Pack away. And then face the person. Okay, okay guys, Lala has it going over there. And Lala's like, are you breathing Schwartz? He's like, yeah, I'm breathing. She's like, I couldn't tell. Yeah, he died. I don't know if anyone knows Schwartz instantly died. So then She's like, I couldn't tell. Yeah, he died. I don't know if anyone knows, Schwartz instantly died.

So then Shannon's like, speaking of which, Shannon goes, okay everyone, I want you to imagine that this is the last time you will see the person you're looking at right now. So she knows like, This is so manipulative and terrible that they keep doing this. Like, guys, Tom Sandoval could die. Let's all think about that. Every time we talk about something, let's just remember Tom Sandoval could die.

This is disgusting. I cannot believe they're getting away with doing this. We're not getting away with it. You're not getting away with it with me, show. Okay, I see you. Yeah. How do I say goodbye to what we had God that's terrible get a beat sorry sorry sorry

so she knows like snot crying and she's like I know I need to let go of that hate, but I'm just like, is that mad at you, Tom's Animal? Like, I don't even know you. Like, I don't even know this person. I'm like, who are you? He's like, this is the same Tom's Animal as the Tom's Animal from PayPal. She's like, oh my God.

You didn't even like pay me on Venmo or the entire world because you know our transaction, you could have used like really fun emojis. So, um. No, that's why I sent you like a dollar on Venmo or the entire world because in our transaction you could have used like really fun emojis. So, um, no, that's why I sent you like a dollar on Venmo. And then in the comments I said, I sent you $10,000 on PayPal. Check it. Oh, that's what that was. I was confused while you also had like an umbrella emoji. Yeah. Cause it's like raining Benjamins over in your PayPal. Um, so she and this like crying and so she goes on to this, uh, so Santa Claus like, I'm thinking of the last day I saw you, like if this was the last day, I'd be so sad. But then I thought of a moment of all the amazing times we've had together

and how we were tinted purple because I've got the sickest fill of few lights in my house, bro And then I just took a moment to take it in and sort of celebrate it And then I posed and like put my bangs like half over my face and open my eyes real wide and then I wrote in a journal Yeah, well, I thought of the last day I'd see you because I was like so are you and do something to yourself and like I need to let go of hating you It like doesn't feel God, but you're dead this you're dead this you made me read on load my PayPal app You did that to me Yeah, and Brock Brock is crying. I don't know why Brock is is crying about it. He's like, I'm all out of thoughts. I'm all out.

I'm all out of thoughts. I've officially run out of breakfast burrito thoughts. All right. And so Sheena's like, I have to go now. This is too much for me. And Sandoval's like, bro, I know this is difficult, especially for Sheena, because, you know, everything's more difficult for Sheena really.

So I really appreciate that she got vulnerable with me. And this is how you know he's so fucking full of shit because he's using bachelor language. Whenever I hear bachelor language comes through on TV I just know that person's full of shit. Whenever somebody says vulnerable I just know don't trust them. All right well all my vulnerable friends let's gather in a big circle okay we're in a circle. Ow. What was that? Zora still got a bono from golfing. Oh, okay So so Santa Claus like well, I hope everybody remembers him not just this heartless villain I'm a friend a friend with bangs

So then he like emotes to the camera and then piano literal piano music tinkles Are you guys really putting in piano music in Vanderpump rules? I can't. Yeah, they're really doing it. So, Sheena's like, you know what? Like the mask finally fell and I saw that there was still a soul inside of Zandemal.

And I was like, oh fuck, that's my friend Tom. I hope he liked my latest Instagram post. And he like misses me and he knows how bad he fucked up. So now Sheena is starting to tell the narrative. She's creating a narrative now so that way she can start to justify the fact that she clearly is gonna become friends with Santa Bala again and having to like go up against Ariana.

Yes. But it was real this time. I keep crying, but this time it was real. I can tell. And that brings us to the end of that section. Thank God. Okay, now it's time to- I loved it.

I loved it. I was watching it. I mean, it was funny to watch, but listen, I'm just saying thank God. I just enjoyed it. Because Tom, I just, just Tom Sandler, it's making me fucking crazy. It's making me crazy.

That's it. So I'm still loving, obviously I'm still enjoying the show. We're like an hour in still talking about the first what 15 minutes of it. Yeah. But no, I just enjoyed the whole meditation. I don't know. I just realized that I just I think that they're like all really dealing with some shit.

Like, like how do you do it's this show is asking such a unique question, which is, how would you deal with the fact that someone in your friend group is now the most hated person in America? Like, how do you deal with that? You know, and it's like, I like it. I'm glad you're looking at it that way, because it's really not like, oh my God, you cheated on my friend.

I don't think anybody gives a shit about that. I think everybody's like, I have to be on the show with somebody, and that means that my life is gonna be hell for the next year on Twitter, because people are gonna be calling me horrible names for even being in a picture with this person. How am I supposed to deal with that? And how is that fair?

You know, that's the real storyline going on here that they're not letting us do. And also there's like this feeling like they're all trying really hard, but like they're trying to use this as a moment of growth, but they're all gonna fall into their old ways soon enough. And you're just waiting. Like it may not happen this season, but you know, it's going to all fall apart again.

So now we go, um, now they're going to go out to the gondola to drill, then then chill. So Lala goes and checks on Shishu and you know, they hug and everything. And she was like, I finally saw genuine fake tears from him and so they were like crying and she's like I know so I just like let Ariana know I just like said it's been like so hard on me and like your breakup the fact that he cheated on you has been so hard on me and like I just want to tell you I love you and I have your back no matter what and even if I don't know you really get on like dancing with the stars or something which we all know

is like my favorite show that I've been like wanting to be on for like 10 years like if you got that like that'd be amazing theoretically if you wanted to put my name in with casting that would be great you don't have to do that but anyway this has been like really hard on me and I just like have to remind myself she made these choices. I'm all I was like yeah but also he cannot be crucified stay in and day out for some mistakes he makes. It was fucked up and it changed the dynamic of the group, but there's nothing we can do to change a sense. So then Katie and Ariana are at lunch. And also I have to give credit to Lala. And she, well, not Sheena really,, because I think she really means what she says.

She's like, but I like him still. And I think Lala was like, we have a show to film. Yeah. So we're shooting with the people who are here, bitch. So I have to kind of hand it to her because like in the first episode of the season, when she's like, fuck it, I'll call Raquel and say, I'm sorry. We're on TV people. Yeah.

Like Lala will do whatever she needs to do to keep her job. I respect that. I respect that Lala can see her future self behind a counter at Ross. You know what I mean? Just like arguing with somebody over a five-year-old receipt that looks eerily like me. It's like, there are stains on this jacket. Why should I keep it? And then Lala having to be like me. It was like, there are stains on this jacket. Why should I keep it?

And then Lala having to be like, but Thurs, this receipt's five years old and it's from Dillert's, not Ross. And then me being like, do you want me to get your job taken away from you? I better figure this stuff out. The customer's always right. So, oh, I'm hearing an echo about it.

I popped my, I got so into that, I popped my earphone cable out of the speakers. Out of the speakers. So Ariana and Katie are now having like poke or something and Ariana's like, so how's the week? By the way, Sheena texted me and told me they did some sort of partner meditation and she was partnered with my ex and Katie's like why? And Aranya was like, I don't know, but she said she was sobbing and I don't have time for a pop question. Like it just sounds like that was awful.

And Katie's like, yeah, but the truth is, like if someone wants to be friends with them again now, like you ain't going to be their friend. What is that? What is the stage Katie's going through? And who's this? Who's this?? What is this stage Katie's going through? And who is this? Who's this? Who is this new personality Katie's trying on? Ariana's like, you ain't gonna beat their friend if they try that.

Okay, Katie. And Ariana just smiles at her like, yeah. And so she's like, I mean, everyone's trying to make it like this big dramatic moment, but it's really just about me continuing on the path. Like, I just can't imagine anyone being like, you know what I really miss on this path of life? Tom Sandoval. And Katie is like, what a sad existence.

And then Arianna was like, I've made it very clear. Like it just doesn't work for me to have mutual friends with Tom Sandoval. And I don't want them to have access to any part of my life. And I'm not giving you any ultimatums and I'm not telling anyone what to do, but I will be putting my time and energy to where I feel safe.

You're on Vanderpump Rules. This isn't safe. This is Vanderpump Rules. Yeah, there's no such thing as a safe. The least safe you could be on television. Have you seen the shit that's going down on this show in the past few years? This is not a safe space.

Okay. Here's the thing. Um, I respect her decision not to be around Tom. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to be around Tom. You have to either shoot or go. I mean, Tom's, the, the reason Tom is still on the show is because he's the cheater and the horrible human being. That's what this show is about.

It's about cheaters and horrible human beings. So he's going to stay on the show and you're putting them in a position where they're gonna have to choose you or Tom They're not gonna choose you. I'm telling you that right now. They're not gonna choose you. You're too good of a person They're not choosing you so figure it out go in there and fucking fight with them and call them a piece of shit every day That's what you should if you're gonna stay. I mean like I've already said I think she should have left while she was on top and America's sweetheart rode that way forever and made zillions of dollars. But if you're gonna stay, then stay

and make his life fucking miserable every day and torture his ass and be really mean to him because. That's what the show is. That's what you can't do. No one's here to watch you interview a guy with a pickle tie, okay? Yeah, people wanna see Ariana make Tom's life miserable. No one's here to watch you interview a guy with a pickle tie. Okay. Yeah. People want to see Ariana make Tom's life miserable, but now the audience is

turning on her. I just saw someone on my Facebook that was like, I don't know. I'm just like over Ariana these days. I'm like, she hasn't literally done anything. I mean, that's the problem. This is a show where you have to do something and she's not. And like, I'm, obviously I like Ariana, so I'm glad to see her killing it and making all this money and everything else. You're on a show.

This is not to choose to have lunch with Katie and do nothing else show. Do something. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two watch what crap ends would like to thank its

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