Watch What Crappens - #2349 PumpRules: Ta Ta, HOE!

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

**This is part two of a two-part recapThe Vanderpump Rules gang is still in Tahoe for Sandovals bs redemption arc, and he can’t keep his mask on for two seconds. LaLa has it out with Tom, Brock wears more tiny panties, and Scheana snot sobs over a lost friendship with PayPal bennies. Enjoy! Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part 2 of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So Katie is talking about how she she went on a date with someone from the 27th. I think that was this the guy who came to our show by the way. I think it was. Yeah, who's with Sheeners. And we see a flashback. His name is Kevin. Have some fucking respect. His name is Kevin. Well, I didn't get to talk to Kevin, so that's too bad. So he wasn't very talkative. Well, then. But he was very nice. He I mean, for a guy who doesn't really know what Penny is, he was pretty nice. Yeah. So we had the scene with.

And then he's also like named his band after my last good year. Oh, so then Kevin. We'll just let that sink in. So Kevin and Katie are on a date and Katie is like, do you wanna get Penny or Rigatoni, which by the way, to be fair, not a huge amount of difference between both those shapes. There is, yes there is. Penny is a tiny tube that sauce can't even get through,

barely even gets through. It's like where's the point's like Rigatoni is bigger. Rigatoni is bigger it's sauce here. And penne also has a smaller size. But you can fit less rigatoni in your bowl because it's so thick. It's like putting big curlers in your bowl as opposed to little straws in your bowl. Yeah. I mean I listen I enjoy rigatoni more than penne.

Don't get me wrong. But it's either way Katie's asking rigatoni or penne and he's like penne that's the sauce? She's like no it's either way, Katie's asking for a Tony or a penne and he's like, penne, that's the sauce. She's like, no, it's the noodle. Wow. It's the noodle. Wonder what that is up to. He's like, yeah, yeah, I knew that. It's the noodle.

And she's kind of mortified. And she's like, yeah, you know, there's just things as far as like life experience where we're just like not the same. Like I had to teach Tom about foods, you know, and I just don't know if I'm like into teaching another guy about foods. Listen, I understand about, first of all, I totally support her on this decision. Second of all, I think there are project boyfriends and teaching about foods, but I think Penny, that's just like a, that's really where, I mean, I can't. I remember, I once went on a date with a guy

who didn't know what dates were. I remember I ordered like something that was like a date and something he was like, dates, what are those? I was like, oh wow. You should have been like you should know because you're on your last one right now. So, poor thing. So they are going to be interviewing people. And Katie's like, yeah, we're interviewing

like four people today. And like, if it works out with everybody, we could be staffed. I'm also a really good judge of character. Just look at that day they went on with the guy. We didn't know what Penny was. He just went on a date with Kevin and you married Schwartz No one is gonna accuse you of being and you know, whoever gave you that haircut. I know you do So let's not pretend like you're a good judge of character. I really need to see her Tinder profile I need to see what's on there and I hope I want to revise it for her

Please have a line in there that says must understand pasta shapes. I have interviewed for a restaurant. I've done the interview process and hired people for a restaurant in LA. Yikes. I would not. When she said we have only four people to interview, they're all going to be good. This is going to be great. I was like, oh my god. There was a guy who came in and started crying because he had been mauled by a dog Months ago and was still traumatized and said that if he saw a dog coming to the restaurant He couldn't stay at the restaurant and I was like, well, what if we just asked the dog to leave and he's like no I mean, it'll set me back. It'll set me back. Okay. That was one of them That was just one person. They were literally all the most broken fucking people

I've ever seen in my life. I've never been in an experience like that. I ended up hiring someone who was assistant, volunteer, like not principal, but like she ran the halfway house on next, on Stanley. I used to live on Stanley Street. And she ran the halfway house, huh? The one on Melrose and Stanley?

Yeah, it's like below. No, it's on Stanley. That one's on Melrose, right? Yeah. No, this one's on Stanley. It's right above Beverly. There's like a halfway house there. Okay. Yeah. And she used to live there, which I mean, you know, it's fine or whatever. But she was the most together one and she missed half the time because she was like, I'm being tempted. And I was like, we don't serve alcohol. She's like that still. I mean, she was being tempted at the front chicken place.

Are you surprised that she missed half the time? She literally lives in a halfway house. That's. I know, I should have taken it from the. That's in the branding. From the other job title. But she was actually the sweetest one. But yeah, the people in LA are broken.

They're broken. That's why they're in LA, right? That's why we go there. We're all a little broken. You know, it's like broken toys going to a town without glue. It doesn't make any sense, but we just keep traveling there. It's getting toxic.

That's the city's motto. one there. It's getting toxic. That's the city's motto. So, so now we go on this gondola and they're getting up into the gondola and she knows like I'm gonna drop and Alice like I can't I can't even look I can't look I'm scared. I'll eat belly scared of high tooth the most hilarious thing she's so scared of heights, little Alebelle, you stupid slut. Well just say for safety, you stupid slut. Why don't you understand about Anganda? She's hilarious. And she's doing that thing where she's like,

I'm afraid of heights, that's so torrential of me. And then he's like doing like a dick dance, you know, to lighten up the menu of the shakes. Stop, damns. I'm just doing it because it's what my godfather, George Micah, would do whatever I would cry as a child. So, um, Schwartz is like, take it all in, guys. And, and he's like, we're just like a family. Just like one big family.

Yeah. I was, it smelled like a rivet in this gondola. Oh, sorry, guys. Took another bath Tom Schwartz is definitely someone who's running a restaurant currently because every restaurant manager says that we're like a family guys So, you know what be like my brother and marry those catch-ups with you So You the same thing I told me my Christmas you at Christmas. You got time to lean, you got time to clean, bitch. So, Santa Claus like,

so Schwartz and Brock, my fellow gondola mates, did you guys get anything out of this morning? And Schwartz is like, oh well, my relationship with Lala has really straightened. This was really straightened. It was like really nice to reconnect with her. And Lala is like, I just, you know what? I want to get softers.

And he's shorts is like, yeah, you're a really good mom. And you have great eyebrows. Are you interested in cutting hair for all of Garden? And Brock's, you know, during the whole like, well, it was good, but she doesn't know how to handle this relationship with you guys, you know, doing the whole like, well, it was good, but Sheena doesn't know how to handle this relationship with you guys, you know? And he's like, yeah, well, Sheena being diagnosed with OCD makes so much sense to me, because she's like so focused on this one little thing.

I mean, like literally mental disorder to still be worried about the affair. Like, I mean, like such a little thing on the brats, like a little piece of gravel on a gigantic road. You know what I mean? Like a totally ringman over there. Yeah, but like the one thing to keep in mind is I did not do any of this. Like Rachel and her eye with the intention of hurting anyone and the way you guys like reacted was like very intentionally trying to hurt like Raquel and I. Oh, he's such an idiot with this intentional intentional every single time. It wasn't my intent. It wasn't my intent Tom You know that people go to jail all the time for manslaughter and reckless driving and not give me the fuck while they're texting and their fucking car When they know it's dangerous where they get in their car drunk and they know they shouldn't be doing that shit But they don't give a fuck about anybody else

Okay, your intention you're in your whole vibe of not giving a fuck about anybody But yourself is bad intentions towards everybody else. I don't know what lawn order episode you watched That made you feel like because you didn't mean it in a bad way that it wasn't a bad thing. It's bullshit You not giving a shit is the bad thing. Do you understand? Yeah, I mean, there's a reason why the phrase, intention, like impact versus, intention versus impact versus intention,

I just blanked on the actual phrase, but there's a reason why that's like a buzzy concept because it's like, people talk all the time, well, it wasn't my intention, wasn't my intention, but like, yeah, but this was your impact. And the fact is that he wants recognition for his intention, but he does not seem willing to give more than a perfunctory recognition

for what the impact of his actions have been. And in fact, it's almost like when he's called upon to really answer to the impact of his actions, his first response is to say, but what about my impact? I mean, what about my intention? And that's what he doesn't get. That's why everyone's going nuts. Because, you know, like, of course,

you were only thinking of yourself. Like, yeah, maybe your intention was not to harm, but you did harm and you have to like acknowledge that. I can't believe I'm yelling about this all the time. She's really got OCD over there. Am I right, guys? So Brock's like, okay, your girlfriend put a restraining order on my wife.

Now we're a couple with restraining orders on them. You should never marry another person with a restraining order. You've really fucked up our chemistry, all right? A relationship should only have one person with a restraining order, Tom. And he's like, oh yeah, well, she punched she punched Raquel right in the goddamn face. And she was, oh, right, right, right, Santa for.

So do you want to know how do you want to know what disappointment is? Is when you have to tell your wife, she has a restraining order and she runs off to serve things. She got a restaurant order. Do you know how difficult that is to have to clear that up? So, um, Santa was like, well, got a restaurant order. Do you know how difficult that is to have to clear that up? And he goes, oh right, well your team was perpetuating rumors of me sleeping with Raquel to take the edge off you He's like, oh my team wasn't doing that. He's like your team was our team wasn't oh my what is this the West Wing? I know you guys are fucking losers. You have teams. Are you fucking kidding me? Brock and sand of all have a team It's the shifts and the jerks. It's like West Side Story. This world is over. Okay. I every time I look out the window

I'm looking for a mushroom cloud at this point. Like, hello, are you even watching TV up there? So basically what happened was that this article came out and Brock's people, his publicists, went and investigated and it turns out this article came from Santa Ball's people. But Santa Ball, of course, is denying everything. He's like, my team never said that, dude!

So Brock is like, well, I guess I'll never had a flirty man meet with Raquel. We never even looked at each other that way. Okay, I looked at it like a little sister. Now, Tory on the other hand, man, I'd like to put my Joey in that sack. Ha ha ha ha. Also, this is really Brock's choice of words here. I mean, I looked at it like a little sister.

Isn't that what everybody said about Raquel? Like literally everybody said that about Raquel. I can't believe she would do that to you. She was like your little sister, Ariana. He's like, who would fuck someone that's just like the little sister of the group? That's crazy. It's like literally been the plot now for a year and a half, sir. Dude, you'll never find any evidence that ever happened.

And I will literally take a polygraph. And the only reason I haven't taken a polygraph is cause I want to show up these guns, man, and apparently you have to wear a blazer on and take a polygraph on this show. Totally take a polygraph. This is so Tom Sandoval to say, um, so we got a commercial. We got a commercial and when we come back, we're with Brock and he's like, bro, you're gonna die on this sword

that that woman's not even next to you that started this with you. She's not even next to you fighting these battles, bro. It's like, dude, I understand that. It's like, we are here. My wife's sitting next to you, trying to figure out how to build this friendship. So you need to freaking stop there and move on with it.

Well guys, what a beautiful lake am I right? Oh my gosh, just waiting for a bluejay. Hope the bluejay comes back. I feel like I'm in Toronto because I'm just seeing bluejay's everywhere. So now they split up, well they go get some snacks? Cause Brock's like, oh, I need a beer. And so he goes to get one and Lola's like, I'm going to be so disgusting. Will you get me Cheetos and a vanilla frappe? Gross.

That is actually, well, Cheetos are wonderful, but like the idea of. I just wonder about the quality of a vanilla frappe at the top of a gondola ride. Like what what is this little snacks, little snack kiosk that's serving the vanilla frappe? I just have doubts. I've doubts. So Brock is like vanilla fap. What is this first date with Tori?

No, not a fap. Faps. Cheetos. What is that? Sandable. There's a little too obvious. Um, so Brock's like, so Sheena. Oh my God, you guys are doing so well

with your yoga humor. Thanks, Sheena. Anyone want to try my band's freps? Anyone? My beauty freps? Anyone? So Brock is like, so Sheena, I just lost it on Sandoval on the fucking gondola.

She's like, oh really? Because like James just like waved his dick around at Ali Pali a whole lot until she cried He's like story. I'm getting emotional alright. I don't like you to be emotional Oh And Sandoval is like thanks. Listen. I'm not trying to discount your guys's feelings It's just like I want you guys to feel what you're feeling but for less money if that makes any sense but for less money, if that makes any sense. Yeah, it's just like I just felt like, dude, I just felt like a real constant kicking while I was down scenario.

Like from you guys specifically, like I'm sure you guys probably saw me touring and thinking, oh, this guy is just like parting his balls off. Oh, look at him. He's just like having a great time. Look at him raking in all that money. Look at him teaching high schoolers how to drink for the first time. It looked that way, but it wasn't dude.

I had to frickin' do that. I had no money dude. So Brock's like, all right, well we went overboard with the podcast and maybe your appropriate choices for your platform were incorrect as well. Let's just agree to agree that I'm right. Okay. So then James and Ali Bally are taking Kessie Salvez and Ali's like, oh my god, I'm afraid of heights. Hi, all right, everyone. So Brock apologizes to

Sandeval for snapping at him. And Lala's like, where's Sheesh? Sheesh, do you want some Fritos? Wanna taste the vanilla freps? Anyone? Sheesh, what's going on? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Sheesh. And she's like, it's just like, oh my God,

I don't like page sacks. They're saying like fake Sheesh, fake Sheesh. I mean, come on, I can't get you break. Like, there was this girl at the restaurant, she wanted to take a picture with all of us. So like, I took a picture with her and I was like barely touching some Santa ball. And now I'm like the most hated woman in America.

I like literally went over to the snack y'all. I was gonna ask if I could get like a strawberry frappuccino and they said no you can't have one slut you're like the worst person in the world like they won't even serve me frappuccinos anymore at the top of the gun law. Yeah I called Shannon the meditation lady and I was like hey Shannon I really need to talk. She's like fuck you slut! And then hung up on me and me what the hell. I tried to have like an emergency meditation and put my back against another tourist back and they were like, stop doing that,

you're like the worst part of it in America, get your back off my back. And I was like, well, I just want to meditate. It's like, oh my God, everybody in America is like calling me a flip-flopper right now. I love that this cast is literally all in the presidential fucking debates at this point. Like my team, your team.

I'm a flip-flopper,per I am not I stand for my constituents. Baw. People like don't know what I'm struggling with when it comes to Sunderball like they're assuming I'm betraying Ariana when all I'm doing is just going against her wishes for me and our friendship. So this is a tough position for them to be in. Okay. Just to play the devil's advocate here. They have to shoot this show and Lisa is making them shoot it with Tom Sandoval.

Like the producers are like, he's going to be on this show. So either you're going to do this or you're not going to be on the show. So what are they going to do at this point, you know, and they just can't win. There's nothing that they can do to win because either they stay home, Katie and Ariane aren't gonna shoot with them. They're not gonna let them do their pickle scene. So what are they gonna do? Sheen is gonna like, I don't know, walk around her house

and ask, make sure her mom washed the nipple correctly for the bottle. I mean, what is she gonna do? They're in a tough position. Yeah. So meanwhile the guys don't care, bro. It's like, this is pretty good. And the Schwartz is like, oh, there should in a tough position. Yeah. So meanwhile the guys like don't care, Brock is like, oh, this is pretty good.

And the Schwartz is like, oh, there should be a water slide. If there was a water slide, would you go down it? Think of all the blue jays you'd see. So now they go get on a boat. I have to say, this boat, this cast, you know, a lot of the shows like Beverly Hills, don't put them on a boat, or New York. You know, they have like really bad luck with boats.

Miami this year. Vanderpump Rule just has the most boring scenes on boats lately. Remember last year's boat scene when Katie's like, this is my single and ready to mingle boat trip. Well, that's because they were all lakes. They were, these were lake boats. Okay, lake boats are boring. There because they were on lakes. They were, these were lake boats. Okay, lake boats are boring.

There's nothing exciting on a lake boat. So they're on their lake boat, the Tahoe Star, and Schwartz is like introducing himself to every staff member, and she knows taking selfies. And James is being that annoying person on a boat that hangs over the edge. It's like, go faster, faster, go do this, go faster. And then they're like, you know,

we now have them jumping in the water and jumping in the water with selfie sticks and frolicking. And it's like fun. It's like, you know, boys of summer or all that kind of stuff. And Schwartz becomes obsessed with swimming to a log on the shore. He's like, I wanna swim to that log. You don't wanna swim to that log.

I can do it. Let's swim to that log. It reminds me of my wedding day. Okay, so then we go back to Hollywood where Katie and Ariana are at the electric owl, which is right down the street from Jack's old apartment. Oh, you guys, the memories. I walked past that when I was just there

a couple of weeks ago and I was like, oh my God. Yeah, we usually get pizza place called like Rainforest Pizza that I loved. And I was so upset that it closed and became oh, yeah a lot of stayed open though I'm I have to say I'm pretty impressed with some places in LA like you like to go. I'm impressed at that still I mean no compadres of course gonna be open. You know, that's a Classic, but I was surprised electric Al was still there for some reason good for it You know electric al good for you you have stayed open for like years now good for you

You know and you know who who know who I give a fuck to? Fuck you too? Analog owls. Fuck you guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha doing like American Idol right now, I'm going to be like Randy Jackson and be like, that's a no for me dog. It actually was an apt comparison because she's definitely Randy Jackson. Ariana is definitely Paul Abdul and Sheppenia is definitely Simon Cowell. Of course, I'm referring to the prime years of American Idol, not the Ellen DeGeneres years or whatever the travesy is now on ABC. Yeah. I don't know. I count with Katy Perry. I can tell you

that much. But American Idol has made me hate Katy Perry. I mean, that's anti-American right there. I don't know if that show. Amazing that American Idol did it and not the fact that she sued nuns until you kicked them out of their house. I know. I love that about her. That's the reason I could never completely hate her. I love that she was like, no the reason I could never completely hate her. I love that she was like, no fuck you. You don't get to take your house back. You agreed to sell me this house you stupid men's. It's not my fault you signed on to a bad deal. I'm taking it. Fucking go to court with Jesus. I don't care. I'm afraid of you.

So I went to Catholic school, man. I love when someone can stand up against a nun. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap-N's commercial. Hey, grownups! The Cat in the Hat Cast is a new podcast from Wondry, perfect for the whole family. Join the Cat in the Hat and your favorite Dr. Seuss characters as they get whisked away on a new adventure every week. Fish Dreams of creating his very own polite and quiet podcast. That is, until he gets a surprise visit to his Fishbowl podcast studio from The Cat in

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So Ariana, she's telling us that, you know, throughout all these bumps in the road, one thing that has remained the same has been our vision. Like what? Yes. Yes. Now what? So what's the vision again? Sandwiches? Sandwiches? Sandwiches in the closet. Sandwiches. OK. OK., by the way, where is this restaurant? Where is this restaurant? There is still not a restaurant. Okay. Where is it? Show me the restaurant. So show me the restaurant. It's um, I want to see it sandwiches. They don't happen overnight. Sandwiches are literally do sandwiches were made to happen overnight to be a No multi-month process

So she says penny, you know penny is really working on the nuts and bolts the restaurant whereas Kate and I are really focused on The front of the house like yeah, we've seen we've seen no front of the house There's no front of the house. There's no house No, wow Focus on the house. So we need our first The house. Focus on the house. We meet our first applicant Brent, he of the pickle tie. Yes. And they're like, oh my God, is that a pickle? Is that a pickle tie? And he's like, it is.

Cause I'm such a big deal. And he says he works, he says he works at the four seasons, or I like to say he worked at the four seasons, cause I guarantee if he was still employed there and they saw him on this, he was instantly fired. Not for work. Does not work at the four seasons or I like to say he worked at the four seasons because I guarantee if he was still employed there and they saw him on this, he was instantly fired. Not for a point. Does not work at the four seasons. The guy from the four seasons does not come to the unopened sandwich shop. I'm sorry.

In a pickle tie. In a pickle tie. Maybe he's a valet or maybe, well, that's so rude because like that's, that doesn't mean anything. But basically maybe he, he is not at the four seasons. Okay. This is not someone who is caring about the fricking something about her restaurant. Right now, this is someone who I'm going to say this is someone who works at a

karaoke bar. This is someone who worked at dimples in Burbank. Hmm. Well, everything they asked, like, so do you like marrying catch up? Oh, really? Okay. Here's what, so do you like marrying catch up? Oh, really? Okay, here's what we need from you. Katie, Katie, sideline.

Katie, go over there. No one cares. Okay, here's the thing we want to ask. White or wheat, salami, pepperoni. Do you know what a pepperoncini is? When I say the word red marinated olives, does that make you horny at all? I'm a sexy chef.

Okay, When I talk about cured meats, which ones would you put up your butthole? Okay, if you were a sexy chef. Just go ahead and answer that. Katie, be quiet over there. Okay, go ahead, Dale. He's like, um, salami. Uh, no, unfortunately, the proper answer is Serrano ham. So you are not moving forward to Hollywood. Salami, the most obvious cock- shaped meat. I'm going to need a little more creativity and not really vanilla with my sexy meats. Maybe a genoa.

Maybe I don't know really anything other than than salami. Let's like work on something that Oscar Mayer does not make. OK, if you had to fuck a salad or a sandwich, which would you fuck? Salad for sure. You're out of here, Brett. Get out of here, fucking pickle tie idiot. All right, who else we got? I want some sexy, some sexy work, restaurant workers.

Is it A.O.D. or is it Mayo? There's only one right answer. Ha ha ha ha ha. So now we're back to the Blake and they're still swimming in shorts. It's like, I do want to touch that log. I mean, is this a metaphor for him or what? Like we just go and nothing is stopping him from going to swim out and touching that log,

but instead he's just hanging out to the boat talking about touching that log, hoping someone will swim with him to go touch that log and show him how to do it. And I don't think he ever touches the log on the side of the lake. And I don't know why he has such a low goal for himself. It's Tom's Anabolic. What do you expect? I mean, Tom Schwartz, what do you expect? Sorry. Um, okay.

So, what's, what are we talking about here? Trixie song. We talked about that. Sheena, maybe. I don't think so. Was there a Trixie song that I missed? Yeah, it goes let's talk about me not my destructive tendencies. It's hard to breathe. I wear my feeling on my sleeves. I love me and I hate me. I swear sometimes I date me. Yes. So then

she goes up to the roof of the boat to FaceTime Ariana and Katie and Shina stop texting them every five minutes. No one needs to know your entire trajectory of every five. Here's how I'm feeling about Tom. I have not betrayed you with Tom Sandoval yet. Okay, I just wanted you to know. We're on a boat. I still have not been trying to yet. She is definitely the office worker who talks a lot about the work that they're gonna be doing this afternoon, but is every time you go in, she's playing mind sweeper. Yeah, so there's like a lot of work. So I've been doing like a lot of prep work.

Like I'm gonna be sending out like several emails later today and I just want you to know, I'm gonna be sending out emails. Okay. Hey, it's me again. Just wanna let you know.'m gonna be sending out emails. Okay. Hey, it's me again. Just want to let you know. Didn't forget about those emails. Okay, thanks. So Ali is super nervous. Oh, no, she and Ariana. Okay, so they answer the phone because they're very hard at work. They're interviewing pickle people. So they're like, Hi, check. Oh my god,

you guys like, I'm like, so mad at Tom right now because he did all this terrible stuff, but I really miss my friend. I just feel like I need to let go of hatred. I can't really hate him because I can't just hate him for you, you know what I mean? But I still do hate him because you haven't given me permission not to hate him. And I'm gonna hate him until you tell me not to hate him. It's just like page six, everybody's telling me that I don't hate him and like I'm gonna hate him until you tell me not to hate him. It's just like page six everybody's telling me that I don't hate him enough and it's like really hurting my feelings but like I can't keep hating him you know what I mean? And they're just like uh-huh and Ariana's saying things like well don't forget he put you in that position and I don't think he gave a shit about your friendship. Don't forget

he did this for you. He did this to you. He did this to you. Still hate him. Still hate him. Still hate him. And she was like, yeah, I know. I'm totally, yeah, I'm like, just like Matt, he did all this because like I miss him. I like miss my friend. And like, am I allowed to say that I miss, I, I miss my friend. And I was like, yeah, yeah, cool. Sounds, sounds awful. Larry on is trying to do the convincing thing like, well, don't forget, you're not mad at Tom for me. You have your own reasons to be mad. I need you to stay strong over there.

Not because I'm telling you to, because you have your own reason, which is also kind of manipulative and gross. I don't think she should, but then I don't think that Sheena necessarily needs to be calling her with all this shit either. We'll just be like, Sheena, good luck with your relationship with Tom. I really don't want to hear about it. Tom's out of my life. Don't tell me.

And if he's going to be in your life, I don't fucking want to hear about it. That's it. Like you go do your thing, but to sit there and be like, well, don't forget, Sheena, this is why you hate Tom. And this, there's some bad moves. And bad news being made here because all I'm thinking about is like, oh man, the audience is going to rip you limb from limb for this scene, you know?

Well, so basically, she was like, okay, well, I hope you find some good people and like things and they like hang up. And Katie's like, she's basically like, yeah, it's really, like I miss him, I really miss him, I really miss him. Gosh, but like, I'm mad's really, like I miss him, I really miss him, I really miss him. Gosh, but like, I'm mad at him, but I miss him. They're both like, they both can see what Sheena's doing. I mean, they've been friends with Sheena long enough.

Wow, what a shocker. Sheena just called and Sheena had all over the phone. What a crazy day this has been. Never saw that coming. So back over in Tahoe, Ali and James are taking pictures with the dog and James like, that's so cute. You know what, I should post a picture with Grom.

I mean, hippie right now. It's like, no, but then we're like really announcing it. Like then we're like for sure owning it that we own him. That's like hard launching your boyfriend on Instagram. When you like post a picture with a dog everyone's gonna be like oh my god did you marry that dog so James post something and the caption says look who made his way back home into my life I'll take care of you and forever and I love you hippie not you alley-y, you stupid slut. You should have laughed at my dick dancing. Um, so then James, so then Schwartz invites the stew to the house.

He's like, we're gonna barbecue, we're gonna chill, we're gonna grill, we're probably gonna take a shower. By take a shower, I mean, you know, go in the pond and you know, we're just going to suppress whatever feelings we have. Can I give you my number? Is that weird? You want to take my number? I love doing a little mermaid. Both versions.

She's like, oh, ah, ah, imagine me brushing my hair with a fork right now. Put my hair down. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just going to be over here filling out in application to be on below deck My name is Ariel

I serve drinks on a small boat in Lake Tahoe and I am fully equipped to be the chiefs you on a 300 foot mega yacht Thank you. Um, so trade you your legs for a shell trade you your legs for a good singing voice legs for a good singing voice. So meanwhile, uh, Sandoval has like this, this like oxygen things where you like pop them open, you like doing these things. He's like, anyone want a hint? It's oxygen man. It gives you energy man. Yeah.

Haze. Um, so, um, good. I'm glad that this oxygen makes you happy. So can I ask you a question? The other, another one. So when, when like you could look me in the eyes and say, Hey, you need to be real, you need to be honest with your life. All you, all those things, knowing that what you were doing, what you were doing,

like, how could you look at me and say those things? I genuinely want to know. Santa Volska. And he's like, what are you talking about? When did I say that to you? And she goes, um, you said to me offense and you even went on to do an article the days before you guys got caught. And he's like, um, actually it was the day of shoes.

Yeah. And so I think that the universe was just like, I mean, that was like a mindflap because here you are calling me dishonest when you are like dishonest too. Okay, lala. I hate to be on anyone else's side here, but you were fucking dishonest year after year with your bullshit about Rand. Lie after lie after lie. And then the second it didn't work out with Rand, you're like, I had no idea Rand was like this person, a casting couch? What? How could the person who came in and picked me up at, while I was a hostess and sent me a ranger over the next day

that he took from the girlfriend that he was cheating on his wife with before me? I can't believe, I mean, Lala is so felicit. Now that said, she is right that this guy is a fucking hypocrite asshole. Oh my God, he's such an asshole. Her whole background I think think, is actually irrelevant in this argument.

And I think that, like, yes, she was. It's the hypocrisy, right? It's the hypocrisy that he would. I agree. He would call her out for not being real when he is actively lying and doing something really craven at that moment. It's just it's so, it's really terrible.

And so, like, I don't think that like the, her, her, I'm sorry. She definitely, she definitely like hit a lot of her life and she lied and all that stuff. And that's all true. But I don't think it really has anything to do with this issue, although sandball definitely tries to make that a thing. I just, sometimes I have to remind myself cause she's pounds it into your head enough that I believe her. Like I end up always believing everything Lala

is selling me at the end but sometimes this cast and remember that this is the show that the term lazy Susan of awful first of its made it on this show because these people it's like just because one person is awful doesn't mean that everybody else is suddenly not awful. And I think that sometimes when they find the villain on this show they harp on it so bad because like, yeah, Sandoval's the villain, yeah, we got him. Well, you all are still kind of villains on this show. You should actually be thankful that someone is taking the attention for like five minutes off of the rest of y'all because wow. It's true. So we see what Sandoval had said. So the

quote, the quote is, when I watch her, unlike Watcher Up In Live or like She Knows She's Podcasts, she sits like slumped back into the chair and brings this like overly douchey cockiness that's like so try hard. Like all Lala has to do is just be real. But I don't think she's real.

Yes, and so she's like, what the fuck, you know? And he's like, she's like, well, I thought it was just poetic that that came out the same day as Scandavosk. And he's like, um, Lala, your entire life was off limits. And it was like the mystery for years and years. And we respected that, okay? And he goes, look, okay, I did lie about a seven month relationship,

but she lied for a six year relationship. Okay, so we both lied for both liars. And I think like we can just call it a wash. But no, because she didn't accuse you of being a liar at all those years and call you out constantly. You did that to her. So it's not really equal. And her lie had no real negative impact on anyone else in the group. Like his was a hurtful lie. Hers was a lie because she was in this like situation with Rand. I mean it was uh well it was probably one could make an argument that Rand's it was hurtful to Rand's wife. But for this group like the Sandoval's lie was harmful and destructive and for him to be like, well, we both lied, man.

And the fact that like his first instinct is not to say that it's not, it doesn't even come into his brain to say, you know, you're right, that was really, that was fucked up of me to do. I was in such a space that I had compartmentalized so much that I didn't even cross my mind. His first reaction to say, but you did, but you did. What about you? And he did the same thing to James when James tried to talk to him at the

beginning of the season. So you are a fighter. And that's how he does it. You did it. You did your fault. I mean, even when Scandable happened and he was being that whole confront confrontation scene with Ariana, it was like, but it's your fault. She's like, but you should have followed me.

Like what the hell? Like he was just finding reasons that everything was her fault. And he was so mad that she was even upset. He's like, how could you even be like this to me? Yeah. It's like, dude, I mean, it's just him. I mean, the term narcissist is really overused on these shows. I think people jump all over whatever pop psychology term they used. Like

in Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, like everybody suddenly had a narcissistic mother. You know, like everybody suddenly was like, oh my god, this person's a narcissist. That's person's a narcissist. And I think it's really overused. But not in this case. In this case, I think it's this is this is text fuck right here. So Lala's like, no, we can go down the laundry lists and have a heyday with my past and I got I go through this in my Minds and no one's gonna beat me up more than I beat myself up. Did somebody say something about beating all right brox You're not in this conversations So you know you ain't my dad you ate my mama and you you haven't been my friend

So you don't get to talk about my past that I've lived So she keeps doing that thing where she's like, I'm gonna tell you off. And then she walks to the back of the boat and then she walks back in and then she walks back off and she walks back in and then the camera people are like trying to follow her and we're like seeing all the camera people's flip flops and stuff.

But the crux of the argument is like, how could you call me a liar when you were lying? And he's like, but you were lying. And she's like, but you were lying. So how could you call me that? And I think's right he's a fucking hypocrite um but she also he wasn't necessarily wrong she was also not the one yeah but like she's also not the one on trial here right like this and we're not talking about her past like she is she like she was definitely she wasn't calling him out before scantable all the time either he was constantly calling her out

and she wasn't she wasn't calling him out either so Iival all the time either. He was constantly calling her out and she wasn't, she wasn't calling him out either. So I agree with you that it's a false equivalency. And he's like, I did it for six months. You did it for six years. And she goes, no, I didn't know I did not. And this is so telling. I'm so happy we're having this conversation because I thought in the

moments that you were going to say, you know what, la, that was fucked up. And I'm sorry I did that. And instead you want to hold me to my past yet again. It's not about me. It's about you right now. Okay, I'm taking accountability. And that's the other thing he keeps on saying. If you just say I'm taking accountability, that's not the same as

actually taking accountability. You're just saying you're taking accountability. Yeah, no, he's, he's not. He's just certain to all the code words that he has to say. I'm taking accountability. You know, I said, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. There's no excuse.

And then he turns around and makes excuses and says, how am I not sorry? Yes. You know, so she's like, he's like, yeah, but you know, like, Lola, I want you to go after Raquel. And, you know, then finally you start getting eaten alive on social media. And then all of a sudden you're like, maybe I went a little too far. Which he's also got a point because she did do that.

And she did that a lot last season where she's like, fuck her, this girl, blah, blah, blah, blah. And would go start going crazy on Raquel and then be like, but you know what? I don't think it's fair that you're being called a mistress. So I'm going to take you, you know, she, she goes so far. She takes notes. She, you know, people give her notes. She goes so far to the extremes. You know, she, she goes so far. She takes notes. She, you know, people give her notes.

She goes so far to the extremes. It's always hard to keep up with her. Or this time, like after watching the reunion where she's just freaking out the whole time, like, like her and James just yelling and screaming that whole reunion to being like, I felt bad. I should coughs Rick health. Cause everyone at the reunion was like, dude, that was a bit much, you know, like they overplayed their hand as usual, of course they're going to. And so then it turned into like being a more compassionate person for five minutes. Yeah, I mean, it is it is hilarious watching Lala all of a sudden, like, you know, she'll just go so hard at someone and be like, you know, I was, you know, I went too hard. I was maybe I went a little too far. And she goes, and she, but like at the same time, I'm sure like, you could look at examples of Sandoval doing the same thing or whatever.

I'm just saying this is not, this is not a Sandoval's right thing. And this is my argument. It's not, I'm not saying Sandoval's right and Lala's wrong. I'm just not that it's, it's just, it's just funny because it's Vanderpump rules and all the shit they sling at each other that they're all so guilty of. I mean, it's a Viper's Den, you know? It's like all these people are guilty of all these things, but Sandoval keeps on trying to like distract away,

is like, look at the thing that you did. Look at the thing that you did. And look at the thing that you did. It's like, yeah, you can bring all these things up and it's true, Lala does that and Lala's ridiculous. And then Lala, you know, course corrects, which by the way, I, you know, on the one hand that shows like the, the shallowness of Lala's reactions is that they're just so easily just changed by what people say on social media. On the other hand, it shows that

she's pretty savvy on what, like, oh, the audience doesn't like this. Let me change. Let me change so I keep my job. So then Lala is like but either way He's bringing all this stuff up as a distraction from the central thing Which is that what he did was fucked up and so Lala's like, you know what triggered me It's like was that you know what she when she said if I don't fall in line with sand of all have no bodies you isolates You groom you'd like look people's in the face. No, you don't know me Don't sit here and accuse me of grooming, although I actually like do groom,

but like I'm talking about like, I've got like a really sick new hair product, I like the day when I'm to go. Sorry for having good grooming, geez. Sorry I care about my appearance, God. It's the only thing I have words. Sorry for using man-line-er. What do they call it?

A guy-liner. Guy-liner, sorry for using bumble and bumble. You don't know me, dude. And she's like, yeah, well, I don't wanna know you cause you're scary. And he's like, you're scary. And she goes, no, I'm not. It was mean either.

I was like, cool, nice, I love that. He went from you are to mean either. That's the body. I know, yeah, exactly. I just wanted him to say he was sorry Well, you sit there and you talk shit about me, bro No one wants to talk shit about you, bro We just need you understand and multiple people involved in this bro and there's multiple multiple people

comes one right now. So now it's like, I didn't do anything to you, Lala. And he's like, bro, take a breath. So everyone's kind of watching because it's, you know, obviously a huge scene. And it's also a five foot boat, so they have to watch because there's no other place for them to stand. Right. So Lala is talking to Ali and she's like, I wanted one fucking thing to have happened for him to look at me and says, I'm sorry that I did that.

And instead he wants to bring up my whole fucking past guns. And she was like, um, that's like all they're asking for is an apology, Tom. Okay. Like for how you treated her in the past, because she's been really fucking nice about you the last couple of days. And the brock is just about the past couple of days now. That's all we can really count, but she's been pretty good to you for the past couple of days now. That's all we can really count. But she's been pretty good to you for the past couple of years.

From the Sledgehammer on, she was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. We've had a good few hours. OK, and then Brock is just standing there. They're having this whole serious argument. And Brock is just standing there and these teeny tiny, like pink budgie smugglers just like, oh, what calls? We have a serious conversation right now.

Well, with these teeny, tawny thongs. So, um, Santa's like, no, it's been great, man. It's been great that like Lala's been nice to me for a few days. And she, she knows like all she's asking for is like an apology for like how hypocritical it was. You can look her in the eyes and tell her to be real knowing what you were doing.

That is all she's asking for Tom. Yeah. And he's like, fine, I'm fine. But of course, still doesn't say sorry or anything like that. He's just going fine. So he's saying that his biggest problem with Lala, she's always trying to find skeletons in people's closets. But like, I do see that it was hypocritical

tell her to be real when I was hiding a seven months of and you know that they shot that all day until he said it. The producers like Tom, I just need you to No, darling, just say I'm sorry for I'm sorry that you did it first. No, darling, roll it I'm roll it again roll it again Listen, Tom's all I was looking for in that conversation was for you to say, you know what la Yeah, that was fucked up for me to say and Santa both like oh well

I don't think I understood you properly to be totally honest What was there not to understand? Oh My god, okay, so she's like I'm not coming for you What was there not to understand? Oh my God. Okay, so she was like, I'm not coming for you. I'm not. Which of course she was. She's like, I'm just tired, Tom. I'm tired.

And he's like, I don't, yeah, I don't get it. She's like, she was like, I think he understood it more because like, he understood it more from me, but like, you're angry. And she goes, I'm Trick Art 24, sevens, tops. And I'm sorry. So they like horse a hug. They hug a horse.

Well Santa on base horse, he just basically throws himself on her in a hug. I don't think she wanted to really hug him, but he just comes like here a hug. And he's like, I just, I really appreciate you. It like means a lot. Like these past couple of days from the Sledgehammer on, I'm like, it's like really like a lot to me.

And like it's like what I was saying to my journal, like it's changed a lot of like what I think about you. So yeah, it's like a lot. Like I'm still like processing even these days. I'm like processing everything. It's a lot for everybody. You can't hate me. I have a journal now.

And Schwartz just turns to Ariel, the student, and is like, we're not usually like this. I'm just kidding, wanna date me? Do you wanna swim out to that log? So they go back to the house and Brock is wasted now, and they're like, how did Brock get wasted? And then we see just clips of Brock being like, I hate it when one wants to take a shot.

Hey, Captain Zeke, Captain Zeke, hey, Captain Zeke. Budgie Smuggler's a boxer briefs. I knew it, you pussy. I knew it, sure. And Schwartz is announcing that he doesn't feel right hitting on girls right now. And, oh. Okay.

Yeah. And Brock is like, and he's like, you know, I've been in love, I've been lucky. You know, it's like what people see in the movies, dream romance. Brock's like, that was you and Katie. Well, maybe, I mean. No, no, no, no.

I didn't mean Katie. Katie and I, it wasn't really love at first sight or second sight or whatever the last time I saw her, it still wasn't them. But like, you know, it was Rocky and, you know, but when people talk about our relationship and they're hypercritical of Katie, like, I don't know. Like, she did me when I had nothing.

And even though we had a lot of disagreements and there's certain things I don't like about Katie, like a lot, like so much, someone argue everything. She has a pure soul, I guess. She was with me when I had nothing. Tom, you're not no-gates. I love that Tom acts like, Wow, now look at me, I've made it.

I own 5% in two restaurants now. Wow, come so far. So Brock's like, I love that. Well, my love, my first love, was with the farmer's daughter. Her dad was a big farmer, and I was next door milking the goats or milking the cows. And he's like, okay, maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now. What, why are you farmer shaming Brock? Yeah.

Sir, I would rather his having nothing than your having nothing. I mean, at least he was producing something. Would you ever do? It's like a jerk off behind a curtain in Jack's apartment. Let me tell you something, have you ever jerked off on a cow's face? It's exhilarating. So, I could have farted on a cow.

It's hilarious. They tip themselves right over. So, we don't do cow tipping, we do cow coming, you know what I'm saying? So, James is now FaceTiming his mom and she's excited. She's like, Oh my God, do I get to do another scene with you? No, mom, just on, just on FaceTime. So lovely here. I'm here.

I'm here with Ali Bally and I spoke with Sandoval and he's here and she's like, Oh, no bueno. Elmu Chacho is no bueno. Bad person. Oh, tell him he's going to be infertile for the rest of his life because he's that shitty of a person. Okay. Yeah. So, so they're all going to sleep. God, Jacqueline's vile. I love that they keep trying to rebrand Jacqueline every year. And they actually, usually when they try to rebrand her, she comes on and she smiles for five seconds and

then just says something so vile, like when she said that about Kristen, like, I hope she never conceives or whatever she said. What did she say? It was so fucking vile. I couldn't believe, but this time they cut her off before she could even say anything nasty because you know it was coming.

Yeah, so then Santa Claus basically is saying, they're going to, everyone's going to sleep and he's reflecting. He's like, well, you know, know I feel like the beginning of this trip I feel like a dog in the street But now they like left some food on the porch and like maybe I can sleep in the backyard was on the street So now we sort of settle in with Lala and Sheena. They're lying in bed and she knows really she's really emotional right now And she just like feels a little exhausted

I just like have to defend myself for like, how I stand in like a goddamn photo. Like it's a girl's birthday and to ask to take a photo. So like my hand like Eosin stands right by me and my hand like naturally goes on his back. And just like all of a sudden I'm like the most hated girl in the entire world. Like it's so hard. It's like on one hand I'm in page six,

which is really fucking cool. But then on the other hand it's like of a, because everybody hates me and that's not really fucking cool. You know what I mean? And Mola's like, Sheena, where are you even hearing about this stuff? I haven't even seen anything about it.

She's like, oh my God, it's everywhere, it's in Facebook. I haven't seen it. But it's on Twitter. Well, why are you waiting it on Twitter? Is it in your algorithm or what? Are you searching for yourself? People are adding her and being like, Sheena, hashtag slut. Yeah, like of course she's gonna see you.

It's in my mentions. She goes, well, who goes in their mentions and literally everybody. I mean, you don't think her Google alert is going off every two seconds. And with the ringtone we made years ago, it's probably just like corner, corner, corner. Oh, I love a mention. Everyone loves her mentioned. So Lala's like, I love a mention. So then here we go. Lala's like, so questioned. Has Ariana come to your defense at all? And she was like, no, of course not. And

the music's like, boom. She goes, I'm tired. I'm tired. You know, when I try to talk to Ariana and say that like I'm struggling, she either dismisses how I feel or tells me I shouldn't feel this way because he's a bad person. It's like, I know I'm just like telling you that like I'm like, swargling. Oh, Sina. So Lala's like, Lala's like, you know what? Your feelings are absolutely valid and Aranyan is just fine. She's booking everything under the sun.

She's having her moment and she deserves that. Yeah. And I do have her back and I'm like so happy for her. And like even, by the way, even her getting dancing dancing with the stars she knew how badly I wanted that and like I told her and so generally happy for you and I'll be there every fucking Monday if you want me there haven't received invitation just want to put that out you know like yes do I write fan letters to Bruno Tonyoli and does she know that and would she ever like bring me along so that way I could finally meet him perhaps someday because I'm just

like a good friend but like she knew that she knew all these things about me. Oh my god she knew that I wanted to be on Dancing With The Stars and she's gonna do it. I fucking died. How Sheena is that scene? That was the best Sheena scene in years. I was dying watching that. So she's going off and trying not to be jealous, which is a totally funny thing, because you know what happens in the future. Ariana goes on that show.

Sheena does go to see her all the time. She goes to see her a bunch of times, and she starts tweeting about it or putting it on Instagram. I'm like, oh my God, here I am to support my friend Ariana. I'm so proud of her. She's doing so amazing. And then she missed a couple of weeks, and people'm like, oh my God, here I am to support my friend Ariana. I'm like so proud of her. She's doing like so amazing. And then she missed a couple of weeks and people are like,

Sheena, you stupid slut. Why would you dance with the stars? You'd betray Ariana. It's like everything she does, people. I'm like, you fucking betrayed Ariana. It's so hilarious. Absolutely. But she just like, because she's actually telling the truth.

Like what she's saying is true. The audience is like that. If they get any sense that anybody is betraying Ariana, they do just fucking turn on whoever it is. But it's also just so Sheena to be like, but I wanted to be on Dancing with the Stars. And then she goes, I'm a good star. And then she knows who's had two weddings on the show goes, why can I never have one moment where it could be about me? And then we get to the crux of the issue. She's like, and

everybody is being so mean to me about this page six thing. And they're saying all these horrible things to me. And Lala says, well, has Ariana defended you? And she goes, of course not. And I think that's the crux of the issue. And that's what's gonna turn them all against Ariana. Cause we know that's coming, right? Oh yeah, we've been waiting for it.

We've been waiting. So that was basically it. That was our big super, it was a super sized episode in Lake Tahoe. Will this friend, will this group ever come back together? Probably not, but they will. So we have that. Everyone, thanks so much for being here.

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