Watch What Crappens - #2352 Summer House: The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Career Itself

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Lindsay and Carl patch things up on Summer House (S08E03), but the cracks still remain as Carl reveals his big career plans - or lack thereof.    Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello and welcome to Watch More Crappin's, Into podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me as usual is the wonderful and glorious Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, B.N.A. Na na na na na.

Welcome to Summer House Day. Before we get started, this was originally going to be a bonus. We actually recorded as if it were a bonus episode. And then we realized that actually we are going to put this on the main feed. So if we, if you hear the recording and it sounds like we're talking like it's a bonus episode, it's because that's how we recorded it before we could dive into that. Just a reminder, we got some shows in Europe going on in London, London, Dublin and Birmingham, which apparently we've been saying Birmingham, it's Birmingham.

And also we have Netflix is a joke coming up at the Cuckoo Barrow Lounge in Hollywood, California. So all the links to all those shows, which are all happening in May are at watchcrabbets.com. We hope to see you there. And now let's get in to the old summer house recap, shall we? Hello and welcome to the Watcher Crapins bonus episode. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. How's it going, Ronnie? Well, hello, Bean. What you doing?

Not much. I'm just excited to talk some summer house, this shit show of a season in the best possible way. It's continuing on. I love it because last week it was like Lindsay was such a monster. But I feel like this week it's like, well, she was also working with Carl. She's got a deal with Carl.

So the pendulum swings from week two. Listen, guys, I know that a lot of my comments were controversial with some of you. I'm saying I'm sticking up for Lindsay too much, but I'm gonna give you a piece of knowledge that I learned from my mother a long time ago that I will never forget and that is this saying Rondle, no woman makes herself crazy. Okay? Behind every good man is a good woman and behind every crazy woman is a man is a good woman and behind every crazy woman is a man. And I believe it. I have not seen a proof otherwise to this day.

And I'm an old bitch, so I stand by it. Yeah, well, let's dive right into it. So we are picking up right where we left off with Lindsay. We're still in their fight from, it's the morning after she's accused them of being high on Coke. And she's like, you weren't treating me like shit last night. Why did you say that I am sober right now? When she tells us, oh my God, he was cocaine.

Carl, I love that. I need that movie. It's like the sequel to cocaine bear just cocaine, Carl, because later we get a clip of cocaine, Carl. And it is so Carl. Just like, what? We're not dating. We're not. Well, you're like crazy right now.

So she's like, why would you say right now if you made your so and he goes, uh, because in that moment you were not sober. So you were drinking all day long. You are rude and aggressive to me. I'm trying to be supportive of you. And you shut me down and I'm like fighting you. You were not sober, so you were drinking all day long. You are rude and aggressive to me. I'm trying to be supportive of you. You shut me down and I'm like fighting you.

So I was saying, I'm sober right now. I'm sober right now. You're screaming at me. Why are you screaming at me right now? Because I'm upset, okay? And I'm allowed to be upset. And I'm allowed to have emotions. Like, have you ever heard of that?

Like, you're allowed to get pissed off whenever you want. So why can't I have emotions? I don't scream. I don't scream. I do't scream. I do not scream. I'm not screaming. You were screaming. He's like, I'm frustrated. OK, but you keep pushing him to, you know what I mean?

Like you keep pushing that button. So why are you? Lindsay is so Lindsay. It's like, oh, my God, you're drunk. You're a cokehead. I can't believe it. Oh, my God, why are you yelling at me? I know she totally does that. Why? That's what totally does that. Why?

That's that she's like, she's like, can you believe you're having was like acting? She was like so wild this morning. It's like you came in and we're like you came in with such an attitude and we're so angry and then like you're using him of screaming is wild. So funny. But it's also such a couple who have gone to therapy two times. You know how you can tell those couples because they've learned the right things.

Like the worst thing to do is to lose your cool in the conversation. So they just stay. They just provoke each other until the other one gets pissed. And when the other one gets pissed, they're like, I won because you're pissed. And they both do it. And it's. Mm hmm. Hilarious.

You guys, you have to go pure fucker. You have to go to therapy more than two times. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so he goes out. How many take my morning run? And then everyone else is sort of like waking up and doing things. Kyle's taking the dogs out to pee.

West wants to do a cannonball in the pool. So he does a cannonball in the pool. And so Carl comes back from his run and he's in the kitchen. And he sees Gabby there. Hey, good morning. Hey, sorry, I'm a little sweaty. I was just like doing my morning run. It's kind of like my thing, you know, like, yeah, wake up early, do my run.

It's kind of healthy new Carl, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. He's like, thanks for checking in last night. Oh, yeah, that was just for you. That wasn't because she was in bed next to Lindsay, proving what a good friend she is by calling you one speaker. Okay, okay. Yeah, well, she's like, yeah, I just need to like, simmer about,

because like, she had like, had a weird feeling. And like, she was gonna, all the girls were gonna hate her because she wasn't in the girls car. But then I was like, it's okay that you're not the girls car. But then she was like, it's not okay. You don't understand. I was like, whoa, whoa, well, I'm just being calm here. Why am I calm and you're not calm? And you know, like it's like a problem. Cause like I'm calm. I just want, I just want to get it out there. So everybody understands.

I was calm in that situation. So I won that fight. Yeah. She was like, you're attacking me. And I'm like, I'm not attacking you. I was like, calm. And then we cut to page blowing her nose, just like very page like, like that. And then she comes into the kitchen and she's like, oh, and then we cut to page blowing her nose, just like very page like,

like that. And then she comes in the kitchen and she's like, so what happened last night? I like didn't black out because black is like last season. I like brand out, which is much more on trend. And like, so page to like be lazy in her blackout. Like you can't even give a full blackout. You're going to brown out page. Come on. It's like, it's like a blackout, but I'm doing it from bed. So, so, uh, Jesse was flirting with Paige. And, uh, Lindsay's asking how long Danielle said how there's sort of like chatting

and, um, West is talking to, um, a dog. There's like one of the dogs he's talking to it and he's like, it's like, you're a very handsome. You look very handsome right now. And Paige is like, um, it's a girl. So she's gorgeous and beautiful. He goes, but handsome still works for dogs. Girl dogs. She goes, fuck off. So then, um, Lindsay is telling Gabby, which it's like, lady, could you stop

ruining everybody's summers all the time with your relationship drama? My God, every fucking summer. It's like oh my god That's is how I got fucked over last night by the guy with So I tried to go in there this morning And I was like you were nice when my sasine he was like so defensive and he was like cutting me off and then before you know He's like this hairy beast running through the forest killing hot people cocaine beer Carl a running through the forest killing hot people. Cocaine beer, Carl. So she's like, yeah, it was just like, like, are you like,

like what's going on? Like it was like old Carl, like more life, Carl. It was like very dismissive and like aggressive and like I absolutely get like PTSD from like that, Carl. So then we get the. I mean, I get it. But don't marry a Vietnam. You know what I mean?

That's the thing. It's like, well, the thing is this, Carl. Carl is very fresh on his journey and there's still lots of work to do. So like maybe give it some space, give it some space before we jump into that. Also, don't marry a person without a job. Or that stand by that who's never there are signs here that we learned throughout this episode that I'm like, okay, you're just making bad decisions now.

Okay, there's nothing I could listen. I've got your back, but at some point, make better decisions, okay? I think that's my macro note for this episode. So she's like, that was like. I think that's what's hard with Carl is that like, he has never been good with employment. And I think that we thought, oh, it's because he had substance abuse issues. And so now that he is

sober, like he'll be a much more productive and useful employee or worker. But now we're realizing it might not be a substance issue, it might be a Carl issue. One of the hardest things about getting sober is stuff that you blamed on non-subriety was not the problem. Yeah, it's just a kind of a detour, unfortunately. That's just how life works. It's not just Carl, it's really all of us. You know what I mean?

So it's like you're really big and you want to lose a lot of weight because your life is gonna get so much better. It doesn't necessarily. You're still the same person who just wants a snickers underneath it all. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you're lazy.

You don't want to go to work and you blame it on smoking too much weed. Guess what? You stop doing the weed. You still can't get your thoughts together and you still don't want to fucking work. OK. Yeah. Sometimes we're just doing what we can to get along. Scott, very sad. OK, I quit.

That's got to be it. So I've reached the end of very sad. OK, I quit. I got that. I've reached the end of the show. Thank you for coming. The producer asked Lindsay if she ever thought at any point, Carl was not sober. She's like, no. So like, well, then why did you feel like you wanted to tell him

that you're not acting sober? You're not sober. I mean, listen, I 1000% like should have used like more delicate words in that moment, which admittedly were like non-yelling words. Let's just remind everyone that, but I'm like also like so taken back by his like aggressiveness in this moment. I'm like trying to figure out like where it's coming from and like he's treating me in a way that it's like just like startling and like it's just like very

much like old Carl, which I have PTSD from. So like that's why I said that way. So then we got to Carl and Kyle and Kyle, you know, hates this relationship as usual. And so he's going to do his usual, oh, I love Lindsay, but did you really think like it's right? Cause like she was so wrong. I was like, did you really think you're going to last with Lindsay? Which, you know, as his best friend, really think you were gonna last with Lindsay? Like, oh.

Which, you know, as his best friend, I think he's kind of allowed to say that, but weren't you the one last year who was like, fucking Carl, I had to stand up for you when you came in on Coke and ruined that meeting. And all of this other stuff. Let's not act like you're so on a level above Lindsay, sir. Okay. It was just last season.

It was just last season that you threw Carl's drug issues in his face. The variety in his face, right. Right. So Carl's like, well, I just don't want to blame her at all. And Carl's like, yeah, but Carl, Carl, like last night was like unacceptable. Like I've heard like some crazy shit,

but this was like next level. And I can see you're like trying to make compromises or sacrifices and like you're trying to solve the problem. But like last night she was the problem. Okay, wedding is November. Like does this freak you out? Do you maybe want to cancel the problem. But like last night, she was the problem. Okay. Wedding is November. Like does this freak you out? Do you maybe want to cancel it? You should probably cancel it.

Should we just like never invite her back to the summer house? I don't know. Just thinking out loud. And what everybody should be saying before their wedding. He goes, um, like, I think it makes me sound more than anything. I'm thinking about the wedding. Yeah, I think more than anything. I'm sad.

Girls like, yeah, well, but like how how, how does, how many times does something have to go down? Like where she's like pitting it on you, but like I had nothing to do with you. Cause like that's a long life of like falling on a sword. You know what I mean? Like how long are you going to do that? Like if you're going to whip out your sword, I hope it's with me in a backyard while we're crossing streams.

You know what I mean? Are you still going to be able to do that? Let's take out our dicks right now. Yeah, but bro, like I hear you saying still being able to do that? Let's take out our dicks right now. Yeah, but bro, like I hear what he's saying, but like we do have like a neon sign together. And so like if we were to break up, like who gets the sign? Like what happens to sign?

Are we still a Rathaus? Do we just have a sign that someone has Rath and someone has a house? Like you have to think about these things, bro. Every time I think about leaving her, that giant blockbuster video store style cut out of Lindsay stares back at me. and like her smile was so nice. And she's just like so flat.

So I'm like, this is going to work. And then I start making out with it. They were made out of cardboard before. It's like actually like really cool. Yeah, it's hot. It's like really hot. So now everyone's in the kitchen talking about going to the beach today. Paige is like, I might go in the ocean today. Like it's wild. And they're just like Kyle and Sierra.

I'm sorry, Sierra and Wes are sort of like flirting. And Sierra once again gives us this bullshit where she's like, you know what, like as far as I'm concerned, it's like a very flirting, fleeting moment of flirting. And I'm like having fun, but like I'm'm not doing a timeline to marriage and all that shit. It's second week in. We have to live together. They say, don't shit where you eat. I did that before, remember? And we get flashbacks to Austin.

I'm like, I just think that it's amazing how Austin can still cock block from the past. That's how terrible he is. He's just always cock blocking no matter what. Like it's people like Austin who ruined it for people like West. It's just tall people in general, I think who ruined everything. I think if everybody was short, the world would be nice.

I mean, look at something like the Smurfs. They had a lovely life. The only person that was trouble was the tall person, the taller person, Gargamel. Gargamel. Ruinamel ruin fucking everything you know and I think that's the show. In a nutshell everybody should be short of course we would have no ratings nobody would watch it you know. We need to all people to pray on short girls who have daddy issues. who have daddy issues. So everyone's getting ready and Amanda's like, I need to shower Kyle.

I don't want to be the last one, Kyle. And he's like, why do you want to get in here with me? What'd you say? Shower timing is like Amanda's thing this season. Like Kyle, you need to shower at the right time. I don't want you to shower at the wrong time, Kyle. That was her thing last week. And he's like, come here and get in the shower with me. I don't want you to shower at the wrong time, Kyle. That was her thing last week.

And he's like, can I come here and get in the shower with me? It's like, I don't want to be naked next to you. So everyone else is getting ready. There's awkwardness with Carl and Lindsay as they get ready silently in their room. And then Gabby has this really, really good call with her sister Danielle. And she's like, oh my god, Danielle.

Lindsay and Carl got into a huge fight. And Danielle's like, no. And Gabby's like, oh my God, Danielle. Lindsay and Carl got into a huge fight and Danielle's like, no. And Gabby's like, mm-hmm, no. Mm-hmm. No. Mm-hmm. Girl. Mm-hmm.

Wow. Mm-hmm. And Gabby's like, well, at the end of the day, the issue with her is that like she came in and had all these issues with the girls. I mean, well, that was her own issue until she started shit with Carl for no reason. Like, that was not so. We she started shit with Carl for no reason. Like that was not so we're gonna do that now.

I guess girl. So then Carl's like, all right, let's go. I'm gonna get shotgun to Sierra's car. So go to the beach for fun and games time. Yeah. And Amanda's like, Kyle spends more time with his speakers and he does his wife. And I'm actually on Amanda's side about this

because I don't know if I can respect someone with his speakers and he does his wife and I'm actually on Amanda's side about this because I don't know if I can respect someone who brings large speakers to a public beach. Like that's just obnoxious. Like I don't... Kyle's been saying this for years. Well, he's brought Amanda. Nobody has a problem with that. I mean, all she does everywhere she goes is go... I mean, which would you prefer? You know, I prefer the pioneer brand myself. He is really obsessed with those speakers. So, um, you're right.

Yeah. I'm bringing giant speakers to a public beach to blast LMFAO. Like, no, thank you. You've got a thing with LMFAO. I know. I said that last week too. I don't know why I'm so mad at them. You are pissed at LMFAO. I've seen their W Wieners. Well I saw the short ones Wiener.

Really? Yeah. I did that MTV spring break thing for Buna Murray in Acapulco or wherever that was. Like, yeah, we started this yet? Or was it, I guess it was probably right before we started Watch What Craps, right? Or was it around that time? Around that time. And they were doing, they were doing spring break and it was the challenge. They were doing like a challenge thing there. So all those guys were there. CT and his hotness was there. And who was I talking, oh, LMFAO were like the special guests or whatever. And so I had to write all the sketches, like the comedy sketches they do between commercial breaks and stuff. And yeah, there was one where they were naked. I wrote one that were naked on the beach, because that's how I roll. I'm like, you know, why not? This is

my casting beach. And that little one has a big one. Wow. No wonder why they got, they broke up. Maybe Red Food just couldn't deal with it. Yeah. So I once saw Red food. I think Red food used to live near you. I used to see him walking on the street by your place. He was a really nice guy. He seems nice. Blue was the one who got into trouble later, right? You know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just let it broke out.

OK, so big, big, big story was so good. I was sorry. I would actually say I was Ellen F. A. O. Sorry, I really didn't go anywhere. I like I had to say was that guy has a big one. And no, it was good. Took us to a place, took us to a beach. All right. Hey, so I need some lotion. Can you get like my back row?

Yeah, some lotion on me. Yeah. And now Carl and Danielle are playing very sad football wherein they throw a ball, like they're five feet away from each other, throwing a ball back and forth. Danielle, you throw a better spiral than I do. Ha, ha, ha. So you're going to be in a party and you want to want to part. Not that kind of spiral, Danielle. OK, come back to the present.

Come back to the present. I guess you go through a spiral, you can throw a spiral. Good job. He's talking about being away from Loverboy for a summer. I guess so you go through a spiral you can throw a spiral good job He's talking about being away from lover boy for a summer It's like it's been so nice to not have all that work pressure You know like all that stuff I had to do like I don't know like unpacking soda soda waters and then like yeah Some people hey want to drink this soda water and then they would like drink it was so hard Yeah, like you know like work pressures like something that I've had to deal with for like three weeks every summer before I get fired.

So it's just like nice to be away from it. So difficult. I mean, that job really made me think like, God, I missed the days I was taking floss from doctor's office, doctor's dentist office, dentist office. Yeah. Like it was so much pressure having to write a proposal about how I could take on a larger role with more pressure. So it was a lot.

It was a lot. Yeah. I was a lot. She goes, yeah. So what are you doing these days? Are you just looking and he's like, Oh, you know, I'm taking my top a little bit. I'm trying to figure out what I want.

You know, reset, reset a little bit. Cause I've been in transition with my career, you know, leaving lover boy. I thought was the best thing for me, but, uh, you know, like, I have to figure out where I'm my career, you know, leaving lover boy, I thought was the best thing for me. But, you know, like I have to figure out where I'm going next, you know, I'm gifted at sales, gifted at sales and relationships, building relationships. Those are really good. So, you know, they always say leave them, leave them wanting more. So that's why, like I'm so good at sales.

That's why I think I always get fired because like they just want, they leave them wanting more sales. So it was great. More life, more life, more sales. So now Jesse is talking to Kyle and he's like, um, bro, lever boy has so many flavors. I just can't tell which ones I like. So we're still on this lover boy commercial thing.

And then, um, page is like, um, last night at my club, it was me at that club. Not mine. I don't own it. Just in my head, but it was me, Sierra, West, like, um, last night at my club, it was me at that club. Not mine. I don't own it. Just in my head, but it was me, Sierra, West, Jesse, Jesse Solomon. And he leans over to me and he's like, Oh my God, he brought a sound on my knee. And like immediately I was like, you cannot do that. And then I lie down and took a nap. It was really fair.

It's like the best part of the night, honestly. He had condensation on his hand and he put it on my like new Zara pant and it's like I paid half off for this and I'm not gonna have it ruined with your wet hands. Hmm. Yeah, well he's thinking on really thick. I wanna be like, you know, this chance of boyfriend writing,

Craig was like knocking him out around and someone's coming after his girlfriend. Yeah, he won't like beat somebody up if they're coming after him. Yeah, like Craig's like beat somebody up if they're coming after me. Yeah, like Craig's like being in tough. He's so strong. Everyone's afraid of Craig. Yeah, like they call him the pillow guy, but like he'll muffler you to death with a pillow.

Like he's totally not afraid. He'll totally go to battle for his woman. Yeah, he's like gladiator, but like with pillows. Have you seen the holes in his walls? Yeah, he will literally punch a wall if he thinks the wall is hitting on me. He's like that. One time, I brushed against a wall when I was drunk and Greg stabbed it with a butter knife because he thought that was. He maimed himself in my honor. It was hot. I barely remember it just because I brand out. It's time fored out. It's time for a commercial.

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I'm not even going back to reality. Y'all like Craig can be back to your plane so fast that get all the play. And I'd be like, I hate planes. It's playing so stupid. We're thought of flying anyway. It's so dangerous. I know. I'd be like, oh my God, I need to yell at Craig, but all these people are not wearing black. It's like gross.

And I'm going to go back to New York City now. So. Oh, so then they're dancing and they're shot getting lever boys, LOL. And Lindsay's talking to Danielle and she's like, um, when we went online, she said there was one guy you were talking to. And then I was like, can we get the check, please? And then I waited for you to pay it, but then you didn't. That was hilarious. Um, I think you were talking about a guy.

Where are you? I forgot. We did go to lunch, right? Danielle. Yeah. There's like a couple. Where are you? I forgot. We did go to lunch, right, Danielle? Yeah, there's like a couple of guys up a doggadoo. I mean, I am fed. Okay, I went to the center ground and I got sent. Okay, the debauchery happened.

When she said, I've been fed, okay? And then she like leans out her lover boy for a cheer as in London. She's like, um, clink. I don't know if I can support this cringe right now, but sure. Send it. Please come to the send it lounge. The send it lounge is open for business for all night to watch. So then West is talking to Carl about Lindsay and nothing's resolved guys. So when we cut back and Danielle's like, um, yeah, well, I had like a really good conversation with Carl.

Like we partied like, but like alcohol free, which is cool. But like, he could still send it just like sober, send it, you know, so it was like a sober, send it was really good. It's like, you know, like, I think he likes you. And she's like, um, well, he doesn't know what he wants to do after a year. And like, he's been trying to figure it out But like come on like This year I leaned into Lindsay the influencer and I made it so much money from like grand deals and campaigns And you know, it's basically similar to what Paige does like oh

Dun-Dun Competitive influencer competition the like, like Paige's fashion, but like for me, like I hold up burgers. So like that was like my influence, like a burger influencer. Cause they have this picture of Lindsey just holding a burger. Like. Now suddenly like there are so many less cows in the world

because like I've really turned people on to beef. Yeah. So like smash that like button for a smash burger. Like and subscribe, you stupid. Co-cans. Lindsay. So then Lindsay, this was hilarious to me because Lindsay, this topic about Carl's job clearly exhausts her. So she's like, well, since Carl quit LeBroy last summer, we've been trying to figure

out what he's into and she's like still trying to be like optimistic, but she's very worn out by this. You know, he like talked to one point about one started podcast, so we got a podcast equipment, which was great. And I had to move my free burgers out of the way so he could put up a microphone. That was great. And he always talks about how we like went to school for TV and film production and he wants to be a motivational speaker. And yeah, I'm like, okay, so there's a few things you need to figure out there. Not going crazy at all. And then she's talking about how they hired a career coach for him and it cost twenty thousand dollars for six months for this career coach.

And he still doesn't know what he wants to do. Listen. Don't date someone who's driver. I'm sorry, there are so many flags here. Get out of this relationship immediately. Don't marry someone who's driver. Driver. I'm sorry, there are so many flags here. Get out of this relationship immediately. Don't marry someone without a job. Do not marry someone who spends $20,000 of presumably your money on a career coach. No.

Carl's a good guy. Carl's working really hard on himself. He needs to do that on his own time until he's ready. You can't make somebody jump into a relationship. And maybe he's never going to be ready. Not everybody is like a huge career person and that's okay too. That's ready. You can't make somebody jump into a relationship. And maybe he's never going to be ready. Not everybody is like a huge career person. And that's okay too. That's okay. But like he needs to figure he's figuring out his

shit. And she needs to like let him figure. I'm not it's not even like she needs to let him she should do something else while he figures it out because she needs someone who knows where they're going in life. Yeah, you know, maybe he doesn't have any ambition. Maybe he's like a family guy. He doesn't have ambitions for a job, but maybe he'll be like a great dad, a stay-at-home dad or whatever.

But Lindsay's not going to want that. I mean, she says it. What she basically says it in this episode. She says it. And so then meanwhile, Lindsay is like, so, by the way, this was huge progress for Lindsay asking Danielle questions in the middle of Walt in the middle of Lindsay being talking about herself. She stops to ask Danielle questions, which by the way, now that I say it out loud, has

there ever been a worse omen for this relationship that Lindsay doesn't even want to talk about it? That's bad. So Lindsay's like, so by the way, are you are you going to date a chef again? And Danielle's like, no, I think I want a musician as my next person. Danielle, I can't. Jesus, why don't you just go for a heroin dealer? I mean, Danielle, I've just started.

I've decided to start just writing letters to guys in jail. That's my. You know what? I want to know what would be great. Someone who works in the record industry. No. Wow. The show where zero people learn their lessons. No.

No one has ever learned their lesson on this show. Danielle. Danielle. Yeah. Not, there's like no upside to that. None whatsoever. So Lindsay's like, well, I know a musician and he's coming to my wedding and you have an RSVP to my wedding.

And then he was like, oh my God, god yeah I wanted to talk about that cuz like the reason I haven't like RSVP just cuz I've been sending it yeah I've got like a line of guys out my door so I'm like sender sender I've got like a sender snap so I'm just like sender sender RSVP at some point right too busy so she's like I just wanted to make sure you really want me there. And then she's like, I'm not like, I mean, yeah. Yeah, we need to have someone that we can all laugh at. So she's like, OK, so Daniel's basically like, yeah, no, Lindsay and I are off a great start. Everything's like we're rebuilding.

Everything's good. Everything's good. Everything's good. So then there's like some other stuff, West and Paige are like, I'm gonna look at the waves and then Sierra and Jesse are just like also like chatting or whatever. And Paige is like, by the way, West, you are like fitting in seamlessly. Like I feel like we're like friends for life.

Like please tell me you enjoy a good half off sale. He's like, yeah, I would be heartbroken if we weren't friends for life. Yeah. And she's like, oh my god, I'm so glad when a short person comes into the house because you know they're well-intentioned. So then Carl and Lindsay have their talk finally and he's like, oh, you want to talk? This reminds me of when we had pictures taken on the beach after we got engaged. So So, yeah. Yeah. Remember that.

So remember the good times. Let's remember the good times. I know. Where we basically sold pictures of us getting engaged because we're in the thoughts right now. I was so proud of you. So, hold on one second. Um, do you mind if instead of this blanket that we're sitting on,

that we replace it with like several hamburger buns? Cause I kind of got them for free. All right, babe. Yeah. You're the meat in my bun. All right. You're like the meat in my bun. All right. You're the, you're like the meat in my bun. So I just want to say that.

Wow. You know, like sometimes there are hinds to climb, but, um, you know, you're in a pickle if you, uh, if you don't let us find our love, right? Wow. You know, finding a love like this is so rare that you have to make sure that everything you do is well done. All right, well, I just want to talk about this morning because I needed a moment to get my head in order, you know, because basically I just like my brain was ground. I just like my brain was ground. You know what I mean? It wasn't until it was like properly seasoned and

excellently mixed and then turned into a smash burger that it really worked out So I'd like to thank you for your guidance in that you burger king Yeah, and by the way like great work like working towards your exercise goals I would have to judge that right now. You're probably like% me, like 10% fat. So congratulations on that ratio. Yeah. So he's like, I love you so much. Oh, I just like, I know I had some anxiety this weekend. You had some anxiety this weekend. Like we both had anxiety, but I was just trying to comfort you.

So, and she's like, um, in those moments, like I'm just understanding, I'm not understanding where you're like moon even came from last night because like you were so snappy and aggressive and ruin and mean and he doesn't really deny it. So I'm confused but he's by this. So I think they need to have car. They need to have at least cam Carcass like a below deck. There's a producer and needs to be a producer in there with their phone, you know? So. Now we have a whole season that is hinging on this moment. What happened in that car?

Because Carl's like, well you needed a witness for last night, bro. Like he says that later. And he's gonna be the witness, or he said it already, I don't remember. But he's gonna be the witness to prove what an asshole Lindsay is. But Carl's not really denying that he was being an asshole. I just want to know what happened.

You know. But him not denying it doesn't mean anything because Carl also hates conflict and he wants to make things smooth and he wants to resolve things. So even though he could say, yeah, well, I wasn't being a dick. You are the one who's bringing to what I was saying. He's going to do like he's going to follow the the lowest path of resistance in order to bringing to what I was saying. He's gonna do, like he's gonna follow the lowest path of resistance in order to get to where this conversation is going. Right, and I feel like that's the obvious choice

for us to believe as an audience is where they're saying, okay, Lindsay's obviously being crazy. She got really defensive because she was paranoid about the girls and all Carl was trying to do was say, I support you. And I don't, I just, I don't know. We don't know what it was. And it's making me crazy because everything hinges on this.

And I have trouble that if someone was telling me you were so vicious to me and so mean and so terrible that I wouldn't say, but I wasn't. I was literally just saying, I'm here for you. Yeah. Well, you know what? You made those comments last night and like it like hurts to hear.

I like, are you on drugs and this and that though? And like it just like seemed like you came from like a place where you thought I was like lying to you and saying like I'm not super but you were not super Yeah, but I have like PTSD from like old Carl sometimes because like old Carl Like to me came out last night and didn't even have a burger And I'm trying to search to like where it came from and why. And I'm like asking every question in the book to find out why. Yeah. And, um, she's like, I think she lays it out pretty good here where she's like,

you know, I know that Carl and I saw that Carl and where is that coming from? And he just kind of, you know, moves past it. He's like, well, oh, you know, like I'm scared of old Carl too, you know what I mean? Like old Carl was like selling laughing gas to Dennis. So I don't want you to feel like that, you know? But like I have emotions too, you know? I mean, this is the last summer before we get married.

Like who knows what's gonna happen next summer? Like marriage, then maybe a baby or something. Like who knows where we're going to even be living. So like, this is like the last chance like we have to start on a fresh foot. You know what I mean? She's like, okay, that's fair. Great. So, uh, can we have like a great weekend?

Yeah. Okay. Love you. Love you too. Let's guess. Whoa. Whoa. You just gave me tongue. Love you too. Let's guess. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You just gave me a tongue. Wow.

Yeah. And here's a thing about taking sides in a couple like this. At the end of the day, they're always going to end up making out if you're going to be wrong. I think even now that they have gone through all of this drama and they're trying to make their own Scandival thing or whatever, I think still they will have moments where they're

just like, let's have a make out weekend. You know? Yeah. So now it's time to pick up all the trash and everything and clean up and they're all going to go back to the house. And Amanda's like, you know, like, oh my god, my dogs, you hear them, they're like barking puppies. She's just so happy to not have to have she's excited to have an excuse to not talk to Kyle. She can just lavish her attention onto these dogs. So then Carl and Lindsay are back at like. Hey babe.

Hey babe, you want to take a shower babe? Y'all want to take a shower babe, babe, babe. You're dirty right now babe, you need to take a shower. Babe. Y'all like really good shower. So then they're playing like, your shower. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. with his his mullet. He is so ridiculous. And he looks in the mirror and he's like, I love this for me. Yeah, it's very Tweety Bird. Oh, hey, babe, you're doing a great job cutting stuff in the kitchen. Yeah, you're doing a great job, Liz.

Wow. Well, you just like slice that vegetable like you did great. You did great, babe. I was thinking like maybe I can start like a job where it just like cheer lead for people chopping vegetables in the kitchen. What do you think, babe? It was always doing the couple like you go to work and then chop things after and they go, great job, man. Thank you. I'm a chopper-basional speaker.

So he goes out with one group and she stays with the other group to cook. And Daniel, Amanda, Carl West and Sierra are going to a restaurant. So she's like, oh my God, we're all dressed different from each other. We're like dressed for the Hamptons and you guys and man's like, I'm dressed up for my club. I'm gonna have a virtual mojito, please. Thank you so much. Hey Amanda, are you missing Kyle in the dogs?

She's like, no. No. So then we cut back to the other group in the kitchen and Gabby's like, oh my God, is this how people feel on Thanksgiving? Cause like I'm over this. Yeah. I think what we should do is lose. You go like meet the group out. Like we don't give them a chance to come out. We just go out.

We like, we know when we send it, we'll send ourselves out. Let's do that. So he turns on his fog machine. Um, just feel, you know, Kyle's a good boy, but he feels me with sadness. He feels bad for his ass sometimes. The fog machine and the speakers, I think clubs send it is just a very depressing concept

on this show. Like it's just really one of the saddest things. I feel like he and Danielle are just clinging to the last vestiges of something. I don't know, you know, youth. I don't know what it is, but it's just clinging, you know, and it's it makes me sad. OK, so restaurant. So West is like, guys, does anyone know why cheersing was invented? And Sierra was like, yeah,

because if your enemy poisoned you, you had to like, clink some of your drink in their glass because then you both have to drink each other's thing. And he's like, oh my God, she knew that? I learned that in Milwaukee. My parents went there for their anniversary. They pretty much ignored me the whole time. But I got to go still and I heard that story

and no one's ever heard it besides me. It's so hot. So hot. Yeah. And Sierra was like, yeah. Hi, I'm Sierra. Nice to meet you. I know all sorts of anecdotes. Amazing.

So then we go back to the house. I don't trust Sierra in this relationship. I think she's going to hurt West. She is going to. And West is just a sweaty little innocent person, you know? Yes. Sweet West. Although I'm a little concerned because at the beach day, he told us that he has a little baby crush on Sierra. And when people talk

about anytime someone says, I have a little baby crush or I have a kindergarten crush on someone that's like fuck boy talk. So that was my first true red flag on West. But other than that, love him. Love his addition to the show. I just think she's going to hurt his feelings. I'm getting like, do she vibes from her like she's faking it? She is. She's not into him whatsoever. He's not tall enough. Everything she talks about like, I've had funny. I don't need funny again. You're that she's what she's really saying is I want tall. I don't care what the personality

is. It could literally be a terrorist. I just want tall. Yeah. Well, I hope that's not the case, but it is. So then Paige is like, okay, let's make a game. We're going to play it celebrity. But you know, obviously, like Lindsay's here. So we're going to have to change the name. We're just going to call it onion chopper. Okay. Okay. So name, I'm going to put a post it on your head. So we're gonna have to change the name. We're just gonna call it Onion Chopper. Okay, okay, so name, I'm gonna put a post-it on your head and you're gonna name a person at the restaurant and we're gonna have to guess who it is. And Kyle's like, okay, he's got Sierra on his forehead.

He goes, am I a bitch? And Paige is like, yes. That doesn't really narrow it down. Okay, do I have perfectly sized melons? They're like, yes. He's like, Amanda, like, no. And although that's a correct answer, but you are on a TV show. I mean, I think that's like a prerequisite for this show. So Jess is like, um, are my vibes? Oh, Jesse, Jesse is like, are my vibes a level nine or above and they're like no

No I think your vibes are like a two or below a page goes yeah actually like I feel like we should check your hemoglobin levels Because I'm Amanda I'm Amanda Okay, wait a second. All right. How about me am I about 75 years old and think I'm accomplished because I've been I've sold a few burgers for White Castle. Am I Lindsay? Am I Lindsay? Moonsie's like shut up Paige. What do you want to eat right now a burger? She's got it I'll give her that so West goes to the bathroom at the restaurant and Amanda's like, while he's gone, see you're right.

You guys are like, it's so cute. You know, you guys, you guys know I'm into a fun personality. I mean, look at my personality. It's literally probably the most fun personality on Bravo. Am I right? But I'm a slow burn. You know, it's only the second weekend. He's also not tall, not tall at all. She's worked on it, don't you think, her personality? She has.

I think she's come back this year where she's definitely had some kind of media training or she's just finally comfortable on camera or something. She's like more fun than usual. She has worked on her personality and she has blossomed over the years, but she's still, I would not call one of the most magnetic people we have on screen.

She's beautiful, she seems very nice and very lovely. I would not say that she's incredibly compelling. I love that she can't tell the difference between an oven and a microwave. I think that's a great addition to her. Well, it's an important part of being on a summer house cast. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, I remember going to their panel at Bravo Con and just literally walking out. I mean, I walked out of every panel because they're boring, but. Especially theirs. Man, it wasn't really just her. It was the whole vibe of it. I remember telling you, these are a bunch of fundamentally uninteresting people.

Like I cannot believe you, you have to watch, you watch something like that and then you watch the show and you think, wow, there really is magic in editing. There are people who make something out of literally nothing and good for them. They're doing great over there. Let's raise our glass to the editors, shall we? Commissions, here comes one right now. So the dog barks.

Oh, so Wes comes back and they're pretending, not even pretending they weren't talking about him. And Carl's like, oh, cloudy with a chance of eavesdropping. Your weather forecast looks great, by the way. So now they are back at the house or eating dinner and there was a dog that's outside. It's at the, at the door, like I'm ready there was a dog that's outside at the door. Like, I'm ready to come back in. And like, oh my God, we forgot that there was a dog here.

Oh my God, I mean, I'm just gonna literally kill us. Like, where's the other dog? How'd that dog get out there? And Kyle's like, oh, I think someone left the door open. So he's now like very nervous. He's like, I guess I should probably find this other dog. Otherwise, a mandible literally kill me. And he's walking around the house waste.

So he's like, I have these, the jobs in my hair or these guys. Only the dog out. It's bullshit. And he goes outside to look for the dog. It is. The dog and the music, the drama starts. Scary music. Oh my God. It's scary music. Oh my God, he can't find the dog.

And so he comes back in, he's like, oh my God, come on, can anybody help me? Come on. I didn't get a tick in my dick in the woods for nothing. And of course that's what Carl's thinking of. The minute he goes outside, he's like, I should pee out here. I ain't getting a tick on my dick. Like, come on, help me. The music is like very intense.

And I was even thinking like, shit, this dog might have died. Like this dog may have run away. This could be an issue. And then Lindsay just goes upstairs and Reese is just in the room. I was right here, actually. And the music just goes, mm-hmm. So then we cut back and Amanda's like, oh my God, can we talk about how amazing it is that we have Carl here tonight?

He never gets away from Lindsay because she's so mean and controlling am I right guy like Amanda's always like poking You know, but you were the one who spent last season losing your fucking mind over Kyle being out too late Or was that the season before? We're just having a breakdown and voice mailing him like 30 times in a row. She's just like a Niagara Falls of misery. So Carl is like, well, yeah, well, last night, like Lindsay and I, we do spend like a lot of time together. And like last night we were just like kind of dismissing each other,

like cloudy with a chance of dismissal. But she was like, she felt like I was dismissing her, which is funny because she was actually dismissing me. But like, but like, you know, my perspective doesn't really matter. So it's just like, you know, it's like really upset. It's always like, cause it's like cloudy with a chance of being dismissed. And she was like, do you mean cloudy with the chance of meatballs or do you mean cloudy with the chance of burgers?

Cause like burgers are the flat meatball. And I was like, no, meatballs are balls cause they're meat. And then she wouldn't speak to me. So like, I'm not really sure what to do with that. And I like literally showed her the book and I was like, look, there are literally hamburgers in this book as clouds and like the meatballs are totally different entity. And like you can't have cloudy with a chance of meatballs,

like with the burgers cause it's different. Like the burgers are the clouds. Do you like understand these two concepts? And she was like no she like would not hear it from me So like why don't you support me and I was like, why do you smash meatballs? She thought I was being like dismissive of her and she said it's just a hamburger not a meatball And I was like we went around in the loot. It was like awful, you know, but like I get it. I love her So Sierra's like so how are you supposed to maintain this in the long term? Like being in a relationship with someone who has drinks and then a tendency to be kind of obnoxious and rude when she's drinking.

Just put it all out there. And the guy's like, yeah, well, I think she's gone like better. Like now when she drinks, she just accuses me of being uncooked, which is like totally fine. And like, we go to couples therapy and like, it's like hard sometimes, but like, I will say, like, you know, we always do come back together unless coming back together was work. In which case, you know, I quit. And Danielle's getting really uncomfortable and making a big show of like being uncomfortable that they're talking about her now best friend again, Lindsay, because she's like, I'm going to have to go tattletail on all these people.

So then we go back to the kitchen and Gabby and Lindsay are talking and Gabby's like, oh my God, how did the conversation with them? Y'all, oh my God, page. Like you and Lindsay haven't talked either. And last time you guys talked, it was like an April that said not go. Well, I called my sister and I was like, you will not believe what just happened. And she was like girl. And I was like sister and I was like, you will not believe what just happened. And she was like girl. And I was like girl.

She was like girl. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's like, yeah, well, that's just like me and Lindsay, though, you know, it's like when you have a crazy old grandma and Lindsay's like, yeah, but like, I don't like that. That's like our thing, you know, like it doesn't have to be that way. And Gep is like, will that work for you? She's like, I don't know. Why are we? How did I end up in a room with Lindsay? And Lindsay's like, I think that you thought that I've done seven at

the house that I haven't done before. And then we get a clip of Paige at the reunion going, oh, you didn't write an article about Amanda's wedding as an anonymous source. You did, you did. And you said Craig was kicked out of Crial and Amanda's wedding sources claim sources. And then we cut back and Lindsay's like,

oh, you think I leaked a story about Craig? Yeah. And it was Daniel I died laughing I was laughing so hard I can't believe this show can still get to me every time I'm like this show's stupid all they're gonna do is sit around and drink I'll tell me I hate this show now Just takes a moment like this to remind me, I'm still in love, guys. Still in love.

So Paige is like, oh my god. And then she's like, you know what? She should have absolutely spoken up and said, you can dislike Lindsay for x, y, z reasons, like her personality, her attitude, her roots, her personality, her hair, her clothes, her personality. But I am guilty of the story planting. Yeah, that wasn't right. Also, do we need this many cutting boards?

Like, how many cutting boards does this house have? We don't even have a full-size oven here. How do we have 19 cutting boards? Did you notice that? No, I didn't. Lindsay was doing the dishes, and there were like four or five huge cutting boards behind her, like, leaning up, drying off. I was like, how many did you guys use? You don't need every cutting

board in the house. Well, I'm a burger maker. Yeah, this is from Bear Burger. Um, Paige, why are you sticking that cutting board to my forehead? We're playing another game. We're going to put down the name of senior citizens on each other's cutting boards and put them on our foreheads I'm gonna be guess who they are. Okay. You have Jessica Tandy. I have late. I have you oops, sorry Twinsies So page is like um I think that Lindsay is telling me this because she wants me to turn against Danielle and then tell all the girls to turn against Danielle Which isn't really how I would personally go about it.

But Lindsay doesn't really know any other way and she's making an effort. So I appreciate it. She's like, Lindsay is using her evil in my aid. So I'm with it. She's learning. So so so Lindsay and Paige do like a little handshake. And now everyone goes out, they meet out and they come back. And it looks like everyone's going to just like come back

and just like go to sleep. But then the fog machine goes on, like the fog machine's on and then the speakers are on. And you know, it's like late night hijinks. I'm Lindsay's wastage. Think. Oh, so, Carl, um, I had a good nine and eight progress. I totally settled on Danielle.

He's like, oh, son, dad. And so they make out. They're totally in love. It's like such an evil couple. Like, yeah, good job, babe. Good job. Be trained and yeah, let's bone. So, um, so, and then they're like,

Jesse's like really mad at Gabby. He's like, you blew my five star Uber rating. She's like, apparently I had something to do with the car. Like, yeah, there was something. Daniel comes in mad at them and he's like, I can't believe you just blew my five star rating. I've gotten in trouble with my friend for that too,

because I opened nachos in the car and I got yelled at. She's like, Ronnie, this is my Uber. He killed my rating. Sorry. So then apparently Gabby could, she's like, I can get out of the car. And then he was like, you couldn't get out of the vehicle? She goes, no, we couldn't get in the gate, Danielle. She goes, the gate was open.

Oh. So the fog machine is worrying to life. vehicle, she goes, no, we couldn't get in the gate, Danielle. She goes, the gate was open. Oh. So the fog machine is worrying to life. And, um, and then the fire alarm, of course, starts, starts to go up. Like the smoke alarm is like annoying everyone. Amanda's just like lying in the bed with the dog. She just wants to be with the dog. She does not want to be married to Kyle anymore. And then, uh, Jesse, Kyle and, Kyle and West are like lying on West's bed

and then Jesse comes in just like farts on top of their face. He squats on top of them and then farts in their faces, which is interesting after our Vanderpump rules recap this week. It's just a farty kind of a week in our recaps. Big farts. So then it's in the morning,

West and Kyle go to bed together and they wake up in the morning. And West is cuddling Kyle, he's got his leg over Kyle. They're spooting in bed in the morning, it is so cute. Okay, so then I'm out, I was like, when you wanna sleep Kyle? So then Carl kisses Lindsay awake, it's time to go back to the city or whatever,

and Sierra's flirting with West. And so I wanna take my bags down. He's like, yeah, what's your week like? You're busy Thursday. She's like, come, are you saying a busy Thursday? Sort of date night? He's like, yeah. Let me get you car service,

cause I know you like that. That's like a big gesture. I'm sorry, but you know who never sent a car for her? Austin. That's true. That's true. He doesn't want a guy who's gonna sent a car for her? Austin. That's true. That's true. She doesn't want a guy who's going to send a car for her. She's full of shit.

Nope. So. She wants a guy that would like try to run over her. I'm feeling like. Yeah, she didn't mean it, y'all. She wants a guy who's going to walk in the restaurant first before her. So now they leave, they go back to the city and Paige is making a smoothie and she's like, hey, Amanda, if you have anything important to say, say it to me right now.

Wee. Ha, I didn't. Remember the tap of the world when it's stoppable. And West is sweating. I love when they play like really positive music while someone is just struggling their way through the city. West is just, he's wearing the see-through shirt and his his got that. I don't know.

He looks like he's 40 if a day and he's got that 16 year old boy hair, you know, it's just so bad and he's sweating and. Sierra comes in the big he got her an Uber black. I mean, it's he got her one of the huge SUVs. Yeah. So we really went all out for this one. She really did. He tells us he's like

the tallest car they have. He's just trying to get like tall energy from vehicles. He actually really should have gotten a really short small car. So when she gets out, he proportionately seems much taller. So he is like, you know, I've been on a zillion dates in New York City, but like, obviously this one, the stakes are high. Like if you have a a bad date with a girl on hinge, you never see them again. But like this one, I'm gonna see you're like 900,000 more times at which point. Jordan showed up. I was like, actually, funny story is the former number one bachelor on hinge. I have to say that like all the people I've ever gone on dates with, I saw them

multiple times because we all had sex in a giant room together. And just before I had jacked it on their faces, I suddenly had to run out of the room and go to the hospital. True story. Turned out because Meredith Burnett, Meredith Baxter, Bernie was fingering my asshole and she lost a push on nail up there. I had to go get it taken out of the hospital. And then every single nurse lined up to fuck me because they heard Hinge's most popular bachelor with them there. It was amazing. My dick is exhausted. About Jordan. I wonder what Jordan's up to these days. We miss you, buddy.

Falling out of the bed because I got such an intense blow job. That's what I'm up to. And you know what else is up? My penis, because I never wound up coming. Oh, so Sierra's like, nice. Did you brought your nipples out for dinner? And he's like, huh, you like that? Check, you're sweating a lot, you nervous? And he's just red and sweating, which I get, because you know, that issue.

And so he says something which I think is very relatable to all of us where he goes, do you like mezcal? Cause I always think I want a mezcal, but then I get one and I really hate it. Isn't that relatable? Mezcal's disgusting. I love mezcal, so it's not relatable to me.

And I stand by it. Okay, things I like that I see on this show, mezcal and Kias. Shame on you, not for the Kia it. Okay. Things I like that I see on this show, mezcal and Kias. Same on you. Not for the Kia part. Yeah. Well, so they talk and, you know, she was a Girl Scout. He was in Girl Scouts and, you know, they talk.

Yeah. Well, they have a date. He's super impressed because he guessed that she does not have like any outdoorsiness around her. Wow. Never would have guessed. People in New York are always trying to like compete. It's like Luke. You know, that was the Luke vibe.

Like I'm so outdoorsy and I live in New York City, but like I'm obsessed with like chopping wood, you know? Yeah. There's always that type. And Sierra's like, excuse me, I may live in New York City, but I was like a top climber. I hiked in multiple states. Yeah, because he was like, because he's like, what's your outdoors like?

And he guesses that she was in the girl's cast for two years, but she was in it for 12 years, or K through 12, I should say. So then he loves, she's like, what's a fun fact? Because I love deviled eggs, which I don't think is a fun fact. I a fun fact? Because I love deviled eggs, which I don't think is a fun fact. I think like a lot of people love deviled eggs. I don't-

Well, he doesn't have any fun facts. I mean, he already, he blew his wad of like, I traveled to every state with my parents, but he was just saying that because they ordered deviled eggs. So he was about to eat a deviled egg. So that's a man. You could tell how much I was really paying attention during this scene.

Well, it's just- Like I'm on a date, I don't know. It was not interesting to me. One thing about this show, and these shows, Winter House and this one, they have to fuck each other. It's an awkward thing.

It's like a bachelor setup. Like they have to, the whole goal of being on the show is kind of human trafficking in a way. It's like you're cast, but you better find someone to fuck or you're out of here. You know, they've got that kind of vibe to it.

So watching people try to fake that they like each other just to stay on TV. Wes, I'm kind of buying it because he just wants to be accepted. But Sierra, we've seen Sierra do this with how many people she's never into it. I mean, she's just so above it all. And I don't mean she feels like she's above it all. I mean, she's literally above it all. She's so gorgeous. She's so smart and she has like a real career. So she's always bored with the losers they pair her up with. But it's like, here, here we go. Let's watch another season of Sierra trying to pretend that she will ever care for any of these idiots. Well, but now she actually is paired with someone who seems pretty great, but she's

gone on so many dates and been around so many losers that her guard is so up that she's not even going to give this non tall person a chance, you know. And then she also has her thing where they have to be tall, whether she wants to admit it or not, that's her thing. So now we go to another date. Lindsay and Carl, they're going to go on a little date, date lunch. Um, and, uh, you know, she's, uh, they're going to go to the super bar. Lindsay side on everything

She cannot fake it Lindsay can't fake anything She has to be on like it's not even honest. She literally I think it's like some kind of a disorder actually I don't even think it's I don't even think it's necessarily a good quality But Carl is so good at just being like hey Hey, I just wanted to bring you to like sober bar. Amazing. Isn't this amazing? Look at that lady's eyebrows.

Love her sober bar. So I just wanted to be here with you because I love you and like talk about my future and Lindsay's like, this is stupid. I know she's like, you're a loser. So like he's trying to have this romantic scene to like, look, we're totally into each other and she's like, I'm going to kill you if you don't get a job. Like she can't fake it. So I know.

I don't need Lindsay. So I wanted to talk like her stuff and like where I'm going my next phase and like I've been like really relish and like I don't have to have like a nine to five or, you know, nine to five to nine to four, like a nine to 11. Two to four would be bad. One, two to two, 30, not great either. Not gonna lie. I'm still glad I don't have to do five minutes of work

every day. And so. Sorry, it's been great. It's been great. It's been loving your spending time in this sober bar. Lindsay, you want to order something without alcohol? She's like, I'm a yeah. I've been out running influencer errands like Paige. So, hey bartender, I'll try whatever you want to order something without alcohol? She's like, I mean, yeah, I've been out running influencer errands like Paige.

So, um, hey bartender, I'll try whatever you want to give me, um, except for your eyebrows. You can keep those. She's like, all right, kid, here's a virgin mark. Give me your strongest drink. And that was a joke. They're all weak. Um, so she's like, so Carl, what do you want to do? Cause you say you want to do stuff,

but there's not a lot of movement. But do we do it? Sort of like not a lot of movement between that bartender's hand and the bottle of vodka I brought in to help this sad bar. And she goes, I'm like, I mean, I'm so attracted to like, you know, a drive and determination.

Like let's go to the bathroom right now. And he goes, oh Like, let's go to the bathroom right now. And he goes, oh, you wanna go to the bathroom right now? She goes, no, not at this point, Carl. She just said, what are you gonna do with your life? I'm attracted to drive and determination. You're not doing anything. That's the point. Are you paying attention?

Literally sitting at a bar and she's like, no, I don't wanna go in the bathroom right now. So he's like well at some point the alarm will sound yeah Well, guess what? It's like sounding for me and listen I can always reopen my PR firm and like taking no one like but like if I'm gonna be taking care of children Like I've got to be realistic with my time. I can only like take on so many burger clients at a moment So I'm gonna need you to help out a little bit. Yeah, I would be more comfortable personally if there was like a timeline.

And he's like, oh, well, under the summer, like I should know where I'm going. I mean, I just want to be a voice for things that I've been through, you know? So I'm thinking a sports bar with no alcohol, a sober sports bar. She looks at him like, I know you are sober right now, but you must be high to come up with that idea. Like what?

And is there an idea that cocaine Carl did not? And for him to say, I want to be a voice for things I've been through, you think that he's gonna do like write a book or like go and do speak about it or like do some nonprofit stuff. I'm gonna open up a sports bar with no alcohol. Literally that's called going to like a pizza parlor or something. I don't know. No, yeah, it's not gonna work. Also, I think it's rough focusing so much on the sober part of it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to do something that's all, we have to go to a bar, but it's a sober bar. Because you're still trying to replace the alcohol.

And I know from my, just my experience, you can't replace it. There's nothing to replace it, unfortunately. It's just, it's always there and you can't, you can't have it. You're not letting yourself have it. You can't just be like, I'm going to go to a bar and it's going to be the same thing, but it's not a bar. No, there's not, there is no such thing. You know, you just do other, you have to find other things to do. It's, it worries me and it worries her too, for different reasons. And hers are monetary. She's like, hi, we have, um, uh, we're married now, Kia. And like a $13,000 a month apartment, Carl.

That's not how much our apartment was last year. It's a lot. I kind of feel like a lot. And we're not spending money on renting you a fucking bar in New York City. Are you fucking crazy, Carl? I kind of, I mean, I just feel bad. I mean, if you went to, it sounds like you went into the communication school at Syracuse, which is one of the top in the nation. And if you went through that program and you're a celebrity

and you have podcasting equipment, but you can't even get the ball rolling on a podcast. And like when you could probably get a deal with any of these networks just because of who you are and you have a story to tell, and you can't even do that. That's very concerning, I think. Very, very concerning. Yeah.

Just press record. And so she's like, well. Marcia Pippen can do it. You can do it. Carl, come on. So he's like, there's a sports bar, no alcohol. And she's like, and he goes, well, like there's a lot of interesting things in that world.

And she's, listen, I don't know about brick and mortar. And he's like, exactly, it's risky. She's like, yeah, I'm gonna say no to that. Being alive and in hospitality like my entire life, representing every lounge, restaurant, bar, taco contract, and I'm telling you, I do not want that in our future family, okay? And he's like, oh, she's just setting all of my dreams.

Like she doesn't want to invest all of our money into a bar without booze. It's crazy. I actually really liked that Lindsey. It was didn't even entertain this wasn't even like, oh, cool. That's a nice thing. She just like, uh-uh, nope. Not with my not with our assets.

No, no, we're starting a family. I'm not having you open up like in New York City, a sober, a sober sports bar. Okay. Well, it's hard not to feel for Carl, right? Cause Carl's doing a lot to Carl's making a huge effort in his Well, it's hard not to feel for Carl, right? Because Carl's doing a lot to, Carl's making a huge effort in his life, you know? And so it sucks to see his dreams get shit on, but like, I don't get better dreams.

He just, it's sad he doesn't know what he wants to be. How much did he dream this free? He doesn't know what he wants to be, you know? Yeah, but he's never known. And a lot of times, look, not everybody's gonna have a huge direction in their life, but you still have to do something. I don't think that many people get to just be like, I'm not going to do anything.

I don't want to. I'm with somebody. They can let me do something. I'm just going to think about it. Well, you still have to have a job. Have a job while you're thinking about it. That's the thing is that everyone, I feel like, especially on these shows, I feel like on Bravo, there's like this pressure to everyone to be Bethany Frankel and in the best sense of Bethany

Frankel, into that you have a brand that you are going to push on. You're going to use this platform, use this platform while you have it. I think there's a huge amount of pressure, which is why you see these people floundering and falling over themselves. They'll be like, here is an all-natural spray that you can make doorknob shine your on and you can buy it now. And they're all trying to be these entrepreneurs and not everyone is an entrepreneur. Just work a retail, get a retail job, answer something on Craigslist, go onto monster.com, go on Zip Recruit, just like take a job, get a job, a regular job. It doesn't have, you don't have to be the next Bill Gates.

And from there, you will maybe find what you're interested in. I don't know. I think. I don't know. I think. I don't know. With this couple.

And then we see in the previews where she says something like, oh my god, you're just like Sandoval, which I think is so funny that she's trying to turn her whole story for this year into another Sandival type situation. And she's even evoked Ariana's name in the first episode, and then they evoke it again later while they're having this big five-hour breakup. Well, I don't know. It looks like I'm sure the pendulum's gonna swing right back to Carl for next week. So last week, Carl got the win. This week, I personally feel like Lindsay got the win, but I'm sure Carl's gonna get a win next week. I think people are gonna be super pissed at Lindsay this week. I personally feel like Lindsay got the win But I'm sure Carl's gonna get a win next week

I think that people are gonna be super pissed at Lindsay this week again I think that people are pissed off at her sports. Yes We're not supporting his dream and for shitting all over it right when he came out with the dream because people are just full of shit You know what I mean, and they're like, oh my god, but Carl's trying so hard and I'd agree Carl is trying so hard, but We're old like trying it do old, like trying to do something, stop trying to do something, get a fucking job. I can't support somebody who's sitting here saying like, I don't have a job, I'm not gonna have one,

and now I wanna take our money and open a fucking bar, even though I've never worked in one and never done anything, but sell cases of something that's already selling because it's on a TV show. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, I... I'm sorry, why am I saying I'm sorry? Anyway, that's the end of this one. Thank you to everybody for being a member here on Patreon.

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