Watch What Crappens - #2355 PumpRules, Part 1: Rat Pack

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap Well, hello and welcome to watch what's cropping. It's a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about. I'm your bruvz. Ding! Hi, I'm Ronnie. This has been Here in My House. Hi. It's so great to still be here at your place. It's so great to see you. It's so great to see you.

And you know, yesterday when we recorded, we were different people because today we're winners of an award. Well, life lives changed overnight. That's true. We got an award and we got a taco. So thank you. We got free tacos and award. We won the I Heart podcast or I Heart Radio,

I Heart podcast award for Best Pop Culture podcast. And as someone might say, we are shooketh. It was amazing. It was so cool, that award show. I mean, we're gonna talk, I think we'll tell everyone all about it on our bonus episode, like all the nitty gritty and stuff. But honestly, we've been doing this for a long time

and we've never won an award before. So to win one really meant a lot I felt really great to get that recognition We don't do it for the recognition okay, but to get it we do now now that we got a taste. Oh, yeah We're ready. We're ready to go on the award show circuit sign us up. That's all we want now at me's Tony's Now on another first of all, thank you. I heart radio. Yeah, thank you so much And also thank you for giving that to us in the same category as. It's a reality.

Yes. Let me Frank also thank you. Suck it, Bethany. Just kidding guys. Good. Wait, no, I think we all can agree that the I heart podcast awards are a referendum on the reality reckoning and, um, unfortunately for the reality reckoning, we beat you.

You're out of that. You're out of that. You're out of that. We're just kidding. Of course. So the one thing is we're together today at my house and I am wearing a shirt that I've been wearing for years. It's a stereo, you know, an old, what do you call this, an analog stereo, an old stereo

print. A boom box on my shirt. I've never really realized how much is distracting on my breasts because it's boobies over boobies. It's like I'm trying to make you think I have small boobies when I really have big boobies. So it's like booby, booby, booby, booby. There's a lot of boobies. So sorry to anybody on crappins on demand who are distracted.

And sorry boobies. And by the way, sorry to any dogs were scandalized by Bueller's flooding out behind us. You were seriously they. Other dogs are like this is this is X rated. Yeah, I'm going for his only fans award. No way but but importantly there is something important an important update we have aside from the award which is very cool. Yesterday when we were recording the Traders, a bird crashed into the window,

right in the beginning of the podcast, and we were like, oh my God, the bird died, and we were very upset, and we were worried that it was an omen. And then later on in the day, the bird moved, we're like, oh, it's alive, but we still thought it might be dead. Ronnie, do you wanna share what happened next with the bird? Because I feel like this is important for the day, the bird moved. We're like, oh, it's alive, but we still thought it might be dead. Ronnie, do you want to share what happened next with the bird? Because I feel like this is important

for the audience and it relates specifically to this show. So, okay, the bird splattered. Okay. And then we went and looked at it and it looked like it was dead and there were feathers all over the place. I'm like, oh my God, this bird just broke his neck. We're going to die, right? Because we thought it was an woman that is. Yeah. We thought we were first going to die. And then we looked later and it had moved.

So we were like, oh, okay. Well, maybe it's alive, but it still looked dead. Right. So then I went downstairs to pray as one does. And, um, it wasn't there. And I was like, oh my God, maybe

an animal took it. But then I went down into the yard and was looking around. It was hopping around down there, kind of hopping away from me like, please don't eat me, you know, as most M&M's wish they could. And I went after it and I just kind of talked to it because birds are very scared creatures. Right.

Well, they don't really blame birds or frantic. They are very frantic. Almost as frantic as lizards. Nothing is more frantic than a lizard. Lizards or lizards. Nothing is more frantic than a lizard. Lizards are lizards are. Okay. Here's, wait, here's the, in the order, in descending order, birds are frantic.

Then the next syrup are lizards. And then the next syrup is Trichelle. I'm not frantic like you. I mean, put that bird in a beret and really I would have just let it die. So I went down there to look for the bird and it was like hopping away and stuff. And it was frantic. And also by the way, birds, you can fly. Like what are you frantic about?

You like totally beat us. You're thinner than us. You're always gonna be lighter than us. And you fly. They're just frantic. It just goes to show like everyone's got their issues. You know? Yeah, everybody really does.

It's like, wow, you can fly. It's like, yeah, but Fran, take a fuck. So birds are also, I can see whether they're called bird brains cause they're not that smart. No. No fence. I don't want to bird shame anybody, but birds are dumb. So I was trying to get this bird to go under the fence cause I live in the country, like it's rocky ground, you know?

So like some parts of the fence you can just go right under. And I know birds don't like to be touched. So I was like, go under the fence. And it was like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I was, I was walking like slowly next to it touched. I was like, go into the fence. And it was like, blah, blah, blah. And so I was a morning dove. I was walking like slowly next to it. And I was like, it's okay. And then it would kind of run, but then it would slow down.

And then finally it just stopped and looked at me and was blinking and like we had a moment and stuff. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna try and get you under the fence and it started running. And then finally I was like, finally I'm gonna pick you up because I can't leave it out there because Bueller will eat the bird. Right, Bueller's not nice.

So I went to get it and then it flew away and I was so proud. I was like, you know what? I bullied that bird into flying again and I'm proud of it. And I just want everybody to know there's so much talk against bullying right now. Bullying can be inspiring sometimes. For birdies. But you see some of these weak, bully them until they can fly like a bird. I mean, how did we get so many wonderful downtown areas in our cities

full of arts and galleries and coffee shops? It's gays were bullied out of their small towns. You know, you know, who makes this podcast a bullied person. Well, no, the reason why it relates to this show is because here we thought it was an omen of death, but really it was a reminder. It was a celebration of us coming together and doing an in-person recap of Vanderpump rules, because if there's anyone who appreciates a broken bird, it leads to Vanderpump. That's true. It's Vanderpump Rules Day and we had a broken bird on Vanderpump Rules Day.

So, by the way, come see us in Europe. If you're new to this podcast, because you just found out about us because that award show we're doing shows in Europe, London, Birmingham and Dublin in May. And we're also doing Netflix as a joke in May at the Cougarborough Lounge and go to watchacrabbs.com for your tickets. I hope it's worth that. OK, so, oh, also, I'm so sorry, you guys. We're never gonna start this podcast,

but we're so glad to be in the same room. We're just gonna talk for 20 hours. But also I was on a podcast with Alistair Dixter House, who's wonderful. She's a Chicago podcaster, and she has a podcast called Oma Lort. And it's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. And, oh,, go to the bathroom, get the paper towels. You see, I serve paper towels at my house. Okay. Not good for the earth, but good for me. So, let's say Dijkster house or Dijkster house, I'm not sure how you pronounce it, but I feel like Dijkster house is less offensive than Dijkster house, just in case I'm getting it wrong. So anyway, she has this podcast called Oh, my Lord. And

basically, she tells stories to her guests. Like you don't have to do any preparation, which was lovely. It's like my favorite kind of podcast. And she just tells you the story and then you react to it. And she was telling me a story about a Chicago legend named, let me look at her name. I ordered her a T-shirt because I'm of course amazed by her.

Her name- Barack Obama. Oh, I didn't write it down. I just took her picture. I forgot her name. God, I'm so knock me. Look at this picture. Anyway, I'm of course amazed by her. Her name. Barack Obama. Oh, I didn't write it down. I just took her picture. I forgot her name. God, I'm so knock me. Look at this picture. Anyway, I'm on that.

It's really fun. Go listen to it. Okay, everybody. So now here we are with Pump Rules, written in the stars. Can knock me, can that be fixed by roughing? Have you ever heard of roughing? I have.

I think that's where they pull your bones outside of their sockets and then they re-put them in to be straight or something. Oh, I thought it was when They make you sit a little tiny little piano and sing songs with their mouth wide open That kind of day okay, I've already spilled Tepachiko all over Ronnie's desk and Got Ralph on the break. Yeah. This is also the return of Super Bitchie Katie.

You know, as someone who criticizes Katie all the time on this podcast, just because she's made me crazy over the years. And listen, I don't know we're in person. This is just my view as a viewer. I've really missed Bitchie Katie. And I would like to say welcome home. Welcome back to the show. Because as much as I can bitch about these characters on TV, I've really missed Bitchie Katie. And I would like to say, welcome home. Welcome back to the show. Cause as much as I can bitch about these characters on TV, I am fully aware that these are not real people.

These are characters. I'm fully aware. And that's what makes it fun. And I've, I really love to root against people. And I've really missed this version of Katie. I love when Katie just doesn't give a fuck. And she's like, I was even though I'm usually on the opposite side of her in these fights. It was fun actually being on her side. I was I was like, I was like, when she was,

she was being bitchy Katie and I'm but, but like using her power for good. And I was like, yes, but I'm like, everything she said, I was like, I 100% agree. It was a weird feeling. And I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable when it happens. So I just wanted to kind of warn you that that was coming. So anyway, welcome back to her. Also, the fact that bitchy Katie comes back and this is the music that starts it. Clap your hands to the music. Music's gonna bring your favorite beat, beat, beat, beat.

And I was like, that's too happy for this episode that I know is gonna be La La Crying because the main picture on the episode is La La like, crank. Crank. And so I was like, this is gonna be sad. Why are they singing songs about music? But Katie's name on Instagram is music kills Katie. Music kills Katie.

They're bringing in the Katie episode. Also of note connected to this, because I don't genuinely want us to start the recap, but it connected to this, because I don't, I don't genuinely want us to start the recap, but it looks like. We won't. Yeah. But why are you worried? We're half an hour in.

I'm about to talk about the lovely bubbles in a topa. I know. But a new trailer for the Valley came out like two days ago, which is funny because they released a trailer for the Valley like two weeks ago and the trailer, the original trailer was awful. The original trailer was like leaning into fun and games and it was leaning into like we're just like adulting. Isn't this amazing? We've got kids. This is wacky. Oh my god, I put the kids down and now I have to have a glass of wine like all these revelations that we've been seeing in pop culture for 25 years

and like nothing as fresh and new about it. It looked absolutely awful. But now the new trailer, they decided like, oh wait, Bravo people don't care about that. Let's lean into the mess. And the entire trailer was just like all these miserable couples in suburbia hating each other, hating their children, cheating on each other. And I was like, well, why didn't you lead with this, Valley? Like, this is all I needed. Well, yeah. And, and Brittany and Jax are so thirsty

and trying so hard to recreate Scandival, as is literally everybody on Bravo. But the whole like Jax and Brittany getting in a fight and then Brittany moving out and then they hint about it through picture, hint about it. I mean mean she's in a completely different house posting all over Instagram and then you know then I saw an interview that she gave the other day we're sure well guys we really wanted to share with

you better lives so we picked the cameras back up y'all we've been finish shooting but then we thought you know we need to share with people because that's what we do we're such good people Jax so we picked that you know, we need to share with people because that's what we do. We're such good people, J-Ux. So we picked that. We know, Brittany, we know you fucking picked up the cameras again. It's pretty obvious what you did. It's like ordering a chicken wing and then being surprised that there's a bone in your mouth. You know what I mean?

Like, I thought these were boneless. Um, yeah. I mean, obviously, like this whole, but separation thing is clearly applied to create excitement around the show. But, uh, well, kind of, but also Jackson. I mean, it's Jackson, but she'll go back. She's going to go back to him.

We know. But, but that being said, the new trailer did look actually really good. And that, that restored my faith a little bit in, in all that mess. Yeah. I still have no faith in humanity. And it restores. These shows were really, And that restored my faith a little bit in all that mess. Yeah, I still have no faith in humanity.

And it restores, these shows restore my faith in not having faith in humanity. It restores faith in my decision to believe in myself and never have faith in humanity. The trailer also has the most predictable moment from Britney. Like if you met Britney at age 16, you knew at some point in her life,

she was gonna say this, I put my whole life into my kid. And then Jax is like, I don't care. You won't even love a hammer, my man. I can't wait. Okay, so that's coming up. So the first scene is Graham and Ally teaching their new baby. Oh, not Graham. James and Ally teaching their new baby. Oh, not Graham.

James and Ally teaching their new baby to swim. And now he's like, Oh my God, he's something such an aquarium is. And James is like, this is a good upgrade. Don't you think we've got poo? We've got mummy. We've got new dole. And then of course the obligatory Southwest flight. I know.

If you hold that your hands long enough of spare can of our horrible fall from the skies. You know, it would be nice to get actual peanuts dropped on my head instead of this peanut for one person as an allergy. So we can't throw a regular peanuts out of the plane anymore. Now we get a pretzels. regular peanuts out of the plane anymore. No, we get a pretzels. He pretzels falling out of the airplane. And not even the same in ounces.

You know, I mean, what's this way as much as the tissues are supposed to fill me up. I'm just waiting for the day that a nice piece of samsonite luggage falls in the pool. So then Shangri-La and Parker and Marina Del Rey. OK, so they're playing with their baby and broke looks like summer You want a piece of pizza and she doesn't and he's like fun Whatever no one listens to me in this house and then she falls off the beanbag chair Well, which is upstairs and not only are they like playing on this piece of furniture, baby But it's in the loft area, which we know from house hunters people with children love these loft areas and yeah like a split level

It's so dangerous like why would you we've seen so many people on house hunters who are like I have a baby This loft is perfect for my baby. It's the stairs What's there? Are you doing and I just thought this is not gonna end well for this child and I got my I wouldn't say my wish But my prediction came true by the end of the episode. I mean, I'm good. By the way, also, this was an important scene for Sheena because she really cemented her status as being a pushover because Summer Moon literally says to her, fall over mommy and she's like, okay.

And Sheena falls off of the beanbag chair. I'm just a people pleaser. Oh my God, typical me. Just doing whatever anybody else wants before myself. Ah! Ah! Ah! So, then are the next songs.

We're jumping up the wall, woohoo. And it's Tom and Ari on his house. And my favorite, and Tom, you're back. You should have been home. You did great. Oh my God. Oh, sorry. I'm going to the Barbie movie later

I didn't think you'd catch me dressed as Barbie But why am I embarrassed about the way I dress when my boss is Tom Sandoval? Oh, come on and get it together. Oh my god, I'm dressed as Barbie and so are you. Oh my god, I'm assistant Barbie. Oh my god, you're cheater Barbie. This is just my outfit. Okay. I was going for a Claya Duvall on her way to a tea party when she was 12. Oh my God, I love Claya Duvall Barbie. Mm-hmm, she's miserable.

The Claya Duvall Barbie just never smiles, which I guess makes sense because Barbies can't move their face. Right, Claya Duvall Barbie just threw up in a toilet. Got like kind of, because that mom hair, What's that lady? Kate Goslin hair. Kate Goslin. I say that only because I seem to remember

Cleo DeVall's role and can't hardly wait was that she comes out of bathroom having just puked. Literally every role. I think every role she's seeing girl, comma, interrupted. I mean, that was like every role. It's like she's just puked. Yeah. That's her vibe. That's Cleo's vibe.

Um, so we're over there and and it's like, yeah, I'm going to Barbie later, which of course you are. And I love that we're getting the Barbie opening weekend on this show. It's Barbie, Hymer weekend on Santa Pumper rules. Cause they really lean into it. The whole, cause the whole world did guys, don't forget. It is a very remember, I remember, of course I wore pink. I wore fucking pink. You're wearing it right now. I'm wearing it. You're right. You're wearing I remember, of course I wore pink. I wore fucking pink.

You're wearing it right now. I'm wearing it. You're right. You're wearing, I'm not, I got it. I didn't realize this was a, this was a Barbie Hymer episode. I'm not only wearing pink, but I gave myself smaller tits for this recap. This is a very Barbie day. And we didn't want to have to ruin the surprise, but please welcome our special

guest, Rhea Perlman. No, I think I saw her last night. Ben says it was not a random lady with curly hair. And I was like, is that is that Rhea Perlman? I was like, that's not Rhea Perlman. Four foot tall, Rhea Perlman are there. It's Rhea Perlman. She was wearing like a like an Australian outback hat.

So I didn't believe that she would do that. But I was like, it's not Rhea. Rhea Perlman is not is not here. I'm telling you this, but there's another character actress who looks just, Rhea Perlman is not, is not here. I'm telling you this, but there's another character actress who looks just like Rhea Perlman. I know you would think there's Margo Martindale.

No, with Margo Martindale. It's like Rhea Perlman. No, not that kind of kinky curly. There's a, there's another character actress that really is exactly like

Rhea Perlman. And you would think there's only one Rhea, but there's really not. There's another one too. And I think it was that lady. Yeah. Um, find out when you stop being polite and start getting Rhea.

Pearlman. Um, wait, I have to say something. This episode was like the Barbieheimer weekend because you had Barbie, you had the girls doing their astrology, astrology reading, and then you had the boys doing rat pack stuff. It was very barbecue. The girls who were like, we don't need the boys in this cast. We can totally do it on our own.

And we're doing actually did a good show on their own. And then you had the boys like, who's the real victim here? And then the bros all rallying around Ken, who's a fuckup. And then the bros are gonna be the ones that are going to thrive, ultimately the Academy Awards. And then the girls are just going to be the ones that are going to thrive ultimately at the Academy Awards. And then the girls are just going to be on the side. And kind of a big plot of Vanderpump rules in the past was Ariana finally being able to talk about her vagina.

Which was the end of Barbie, right? That was the end of Barbie. I'm here to talk about my vagina. Spoiler alert. Yeah. So yeah, I mean it is all very, very, very, berry, which are colored pink, usually ish Barbie centric. Okay. So we go to Tom and Arianna's and we're still there. We've already been there.

And I was like, Oh my God, how was your trip? Was that fun? He's like, Oh, I love Barbie. I love feminism. Sorry, I'm here. Shh, be quiet. Quiet. I don't want to hear that.

I want that woman. I know. So she's like, so how was, how was the trip? A lot of fighting. And he's like, yeah, I mean, uh, dude, like, and he's just like talking about how like she no way to hide him at the airport and stuff. I was like, yeah, come on, sit over here. And then like we see Ariana in her room. She's just like on her laptop, hearing the sound of his voice.

It just fully miserable that he's back in the house. Yeah. She's like, that is a sound sound of all coming up. So then we go to, um, Sandoval and and talking and he's like, oh, it's so good to be home. There's nothing like walking past the food court and the airport and hearing she and ago come over here. This pizza is so much better with you here, dude. Oh my God, I'm crying.

Everyone is Barbie. Were there any fights? We're. Um, uh, we see fights of every. We see shots of everyone screaming at saying the ball and he's like, um, yeah, but they were like, um, but they had resolutions.

They were like, was all resolution fights. So it was just like you know it wasn't just like I can't be with this person it was like I can't be with this person but I resolved to be with him anyway resolution yeah all in all the trip to Tahoe was good I think the stench of scant of all is wearing off and people are starting to humanize me again I feel optimistic about it. I'm gonna say that by squinting my eyes and doing this with my tongue. Yeah, speaking of stench, did you swim out to that log with Schwartz? Cause it sort of

smells like it. Ahhhh. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crap'n's commercial. Hey, grownups. The Cat in the Hat Cast is a new podcast from Wondry, perfect for the whole family. Join the Cat in the Hat and your favorite Dr. Seuss characters as they get whisked away on a new adventure every week. Fish dreams of creating his very own polite and quiet podcast. That is, until he gets a surprise visit to his Fishbowl podcast studio from The Cat in the Hat himself, and it becomes very clear that the cat has other plans for the podcast. And those plans are the opposite of quiet.

Sing along to new favorite songs, try your luck at Titanic Tongue Twisters, have some fun with wondrous wordplay, and most importantly, bring your family along for all of the adventures in The Cat in the Hat Cast. Follow The Cat in the Hatcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Cat in the Hatcast early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app

or on Wondery Kids Plus on Apple Podcasts today. In the 1980s, Frank Faryon was riding high as a successful German music producer, but he was bored. German pop was formulaic, dull, and oh-so-white. Frank had bigger dreams, American dreams. He wanted to create the kind of music that would rival larger-than-life artists like Michael Jackson or Run DMC. So he assembled a hip-hop duo, two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem?

One very important element was missing, but Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's biggest controversies. Milly Vanilly set the world on fire, but when their adoring fans learned about the infamous lip-syncing, their downfall was swift and brutal. With exclusive interviews from frontman, Fad Morvan, and his producers, Frank Barian and Ingrid Zagith, this podcast takes a fresh look at the exploitation of two young black artists.

Follow Blame It On The Fame wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free by joining Wendery Plus. By the way, some Tahoe people are offended because you, me, mostly are so rude about Tahoe. Why am I rude about Tahoe? I don't know. I'm just blaming you.

What did I say? I literally don't remember it. Like it's a little... But I would just like to say we know Tahoe is a fucking beautiful place. I know Tahoe is a beautiful place, don't you? Of course, I've been there during a forest fire, but I was still actually always there during a non-forest fire too. We're just making fun of it because it's on the show.

And also you're not allowed to be offended. You're from Tahoe. Chill the fuck out. You're literally from the most chill place on Earth. Wait, I want to know the... I did not hear or receive any of the Tahoe offense. I would like to know what I said. I searched for it.

Wait, what did... I'm like, what were people up to? I searched for Tahoe. I searched Google, who's mad at Ben from London? Wait, but what did I say? I want to rectify it. It was just people who were like, oh, hey, you better be nice what, but what did I say? I want to rectify. Yeah, just people who were like, oh, hey, you better be nice to Tahoe. Because I'm from Tahoe and Tahoe.

It's actually gorgeous. I don't have anything bad to say about. I literally have nothing bad to say about Tahoe. Here's what I do have to say bad about. Swimming in lakes, I don't like that. That's Tahoe. It's a lake town. Well, they have to get this is a genre.

He said that to me and I live in a lake town too. He's like, oh my God, do you live by the lake? I don't mind if you're by a lake. I love a lake view. You can have a house on the lake. I just don't like swimming in the lake. I don't like lake swimming, generally speaking. Also, Tahoe is probably the classiest of our lakes.

I mean, it's better than Havasu, let's be honest, okay? I'll be rude to have you see. Chicago is pretty classy. What? Chicago is pretty classy. But it's got a lot of dead people in it. Lake Michigan? Yeah, well, here's the thing.

Okay. Chicago, they kill people, well, here's the thing. Okay. Chicago, they kill people. Listen, Tahoe is beautiful. I have no issues with Tahoe. I just don't like swimming in lakes and I have issues with Wednesday weddings that are in the Tahoe region. Only because you make everyone drive up midweek to go to a wedding on a Wednesday because you've got a good deal and a place that was not even in Lake Tahoe It was much farther north of Lake Tahoe that was the 27 mile house. Oh my god the 27s. Oh my god

Oh my god The 27th are now producing a song for Ashley Darby called like enlightened and entitoned Yeah, it's it was like enlightened and then entitoned and it's basically the melody of rhythm as a dancer So enlightened and in Titan in enlightened Titan Titan and in like I did rhythm as a dancer even rhythm made in on the dancing them with the stars before me that is like my number one dream I literally started taking rhythm classes classes and dancing classes okay so a clip of Lala saying, you're a Korean Marth. And then we're back. And he's like, Yeah, at least he's

fight said, uh, you know, at least I'm human again. And he's like, Okay, I'm gonna unpack my clothes and my feelings. And she's like, um, privately, do you want me to be there? I'm gonna go journal. She's like, Oh, you're, you're being serious. Okay. I support your journaling. You're gonna go journal. She's like, haha. Oh, you're you're being serious. Okay. I suppose you're journaling you're gonna do great You'll be great. I got a 415 showtime. So we wrap this up. Thanks spoiler alert Ken lives And now we go over to Villa Rosa and Sheena comes over she's wearing pink which

Sah and Sheena comes over. She's wearing pink, which Vandana loves. It's Barbie weekend. Barbie weekend. She's in pink. Yes. I mean, so Lisa's like, oh, hello, perfect color for this house. I'm doing donut training. Girl, been there.

I've been to donut training many times with my life, you know, from Weight Watchers. Oh my God. Every time you eat a donut, look at the face it's making at you. By the way, literally told me that at Weight Watchers, oh my God. Every time you eat a donut, look at the face it's making at you. By the way, she literally told me that at Weight Watcher. What's your favorite thing to eat? Donuts. Imagine the face that donuts making at you before you eat it.

Well, what food is making any good food face? Does she really say that? But the donuts like horrified. She's like, feel the disappointment that that donut is giving you. Feel the judgment in that donut. The doughnuts like ready to do oral on you. So, uh, I'm sure I thought about it like that. I'd been fucking donuts for years. Thanks a lot.

My dick just got so fat. Well, by the way, Janelle, not all doughnuts have holes. Okay. How about a jelly? Jellies do have holes. How do you think the jelly gets into the thing? Like a side hole, but it's not making it. It actually has a better hole. but it's not making it. It actually has a better hole.

It's actually a functional hole. It's shaped like a cock's sleep. Sorry to be so disgusting. Thank you so much again for the iHeart Award. I know, I don't know what you people were thinking, but we'll take it. But let me tell you something. When Sheena comes in, Lisa has doughnut on the counter, and she's plopping doughnut down the counter and like moving around.

And no, it was well, because doughnut doesn't doughnut is not like a real dog. Donuts just sort of like. Donut is like an Ewok that was left sleeping on his face for too long. There I said it without any survival skills and doughnut. It doesn't. It's like, is it you plugged bug donut into something. Is there any life in this dog? The fuck.

But like Lisa is plopping this dog down. Like she's like she's preparing like a loaf of bread or something. She's like rotating around. She's about to start needing that thing as soon as she comes in. The training is just like, don't lift up your head. And don't it's like, no, don't it like no donut too far donut come back to the five and dime donut Dean donut Dean. I'm pretty sure donut comes from FAO Schwarz like that is not a there's not a living entity

right there and fucking donut and she is like oh my god he's the cutest he's probably gonna get on Dancing with the Stars before you. He will he will so Better pump is like so what's going on? Why do you want to see me during donut training day? She's like honestly, sir the day after we saw you and Tahoe that was like the most emotionally draining day I've ever had in this group like my eyelashes They were like so dry They are like my eyelashes, they were like so dry. They are hard. Like my eyelashes cried. They lost all their moisture.

This is the hardest I've ever had on my eyelashes. It's terrible. Have you ever cried so hard that your eyelashes literally became wires? That's like literally what happened to me. And we think it's because of Sandoval, but I think it's because Brock just disappeared to South fucking Tahoe at five in the morning.

To go to hell. Yeah, that's weird. So she's like, I'm going through the stages of grief and Sandeval. I'm like, darling, grief over what you had. What kind of grief? Why? Because I don't understand this concept of grief and how whatever it could be linked with Sandoval.

Yeah. She's like, oh, that was my friendship. She's like, but you feel like you can't have this friendship because Ariane is going to be upset. Listen, you fucking turncoat. That girl's been horse riding with you. Yeah. I don't like that she's so turncoty with that.

She's like, how dare she fuck Ariane? Come on now. I mean. Yeah, but don't forget that Lisa Vander so turn Cody with average. Like, how dare she fuck Ari up? Like, come on now. I mean, yeah, but don't forget that Lisa Vanderpump can buy and sell all these people. So she really doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't carry out. She's like, okay, I'm going to be the nicest to the people that are a group that will stay on my show. The one lone woofie, if you will. Ding opening in the spring air is casino. Well, it's like very hard to tell her how I'm feeling about

sandball because she's like, I don't want to hear about it. And it's just like, you know, I've done everything I can to be like ride or die for Ariana, except like literally ride on a horse because I would literally die on it. But like, it's still like not enough like really. Now, let's just invite Rob somewhere. These people are hilarious on this show. So oh my God, I cannot believe that she doesn't want to hang out with Tom Sandoval like two months after we completely fucked her over with her best friend.

This is crazy. I cannot believe anyone. No one is taking my feelings into a cloud. I'm like afraid to express how I feel because it's like never about me. It's only about her. So I'm like struggling with like having any conversation with her lately because it's like, I'm not like valid in my feelings. When has it ever been about anyone else? Fucking Sheena. I love that Sheena just keeps on sheening so hard. She is so Sheena. I love it. She just keeps on giving up. Fuck. I love her.

So Vanderpump's like, do you think it's just this woe end of attention that she's getting? She's like, yeah, because I picked up Dan from the airport and we went to lunch and he was like, oh my God, that announcement's coming out Wednesday. And I was like, what announcement? And he's like, dancing with the stars, stupid. And I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

That's like a boom. And Benna pumps like, oh my God, when I did Dancing with the Stars remember when I did it Remember when I got to be on that television show you said to me That's what I want more than anything Oh, Sheena how many years has that been now eight nine years that you've been wanting this? Oh, you poor poor thing Oh Sheena Do you remember when the lady who played the assistant on Magnum PI came

out the stage door and you told her, this is all I've ever wanted? Or when that lady from Facts of Life, she played the maid on Facts of Life, she came out the stage door and you said, this is all I've ever wanted? When Don Rickles came out the stage door and you said, Don, Don, this is all I've ever wanted? Hold on, Sheena, I'm about to feel something hold on just got a text from chef penny oh looks like she'll be competing next season on dancing with the stars good for Penny's just come up with a new sandwich called Dancing with the pickles

darling what were you saying so yeah, yeah, I mean, this year I even started taking dance class because I was preparing in case I did get. Okay. Well, now you're. How are you going to get dancing with the stars and the year of Scandival? Like, come on now, pick a better year. Okay.

Sheena is literally acting like a football player who didn't get drafted, who's like still working in the off season to get a bench, a seat on that bench. Like what? Preparing for dancing with the stars on spec. What? How about that? But don't you think that so many people do? Don't you think that's a really LA thing?

Like, I better keep the sap. You never know what's dancing with the stars. It's going to call. I think so. I think I better keep this up. You never know when dancing with stars. It's going to call. I think so. I think that probably someone probably went as scandalfall was unfurling. There probably was, um, someone probably got into her ear saying, like, you know, you might get onto dancing with the stars with this. She's like, oh my God, I really got to start dancing now.

With the restraining order and all that stuff. Um, so she was like, yeah, I mean, like, I am so happy with her, but like I can be happy for her and sad for me at the same time, guys. Okay. And she's, it was a punch to the gut for sure. Sheena, this is just like one of Sheena's best scenes of all time. Really? And it's just over.

We being over dancing with the stars. And then she thinks she got one, by the way, probably just set America on fire, but she was like, and good for her. She's come a such a long way from being my backup dancer. She does like a little shoulder shaming like she just nailed it. And then they cut to the scene of that where she kind of can't dance. I mean, sorry. Sorry.

But why would you evoke that when you're trying to make a dancing with the stars real? Okay, just leave that clip in the past. Listen, a lot of backup dancers have become superstars. Look at J. Lo. Look at her. Look at her. Yeah. She's J. Lo. And that's what Ariana's going to be next, I'm sure. Also, she was doing you a favor because you weren't paying anybody to be your backup. That was like season one. So then, um, she and so Vanderpup's like, well, if your friendship is so great, then you should be able to tell her how you feel. Am I right to have a bite of this apple?

My little princess. I try to, but like she shuts me down. Oh, so you want a relationship where you're just supporting someone and you're devastated all the time? She's like honestly? Not the story of my life Change your life It's what I tell max every time I ask him to bring me a refill of water

All I want for Sheena is at some point to be able to say what you're thinking. It's okay to say it and say, hey, it really hurt my feelings. What's wrong with that? I mean, I wouldn't say it, but I'm British. I mean, it's disgusting. I'm disgusting. You're showing me feelings. It's never the same.

Awful. Let's talk about the weather. So we find out there's going to be a girl for astrology night at least, and surely we're going to have a really good talk about this. Mwah! Mwah! Games! I'm shining, I'm shining, I'm shining, I'm shining. So it's like this really positive girl music.

Yeah. And Lala and Ariana are going to a place called Be Bright. Be Bright. They're walking on Melrose Avenue. And what was really frustrating is that this was one of those moments where I could like, every shot they were walking on like a different block and going in a different direction. It was like very disorienting for me. I was like, wait a second, you guys just crossed the street entirely, but you're in the same sentence.

Guys. Why do you think people do this to us? That's people. Come on, better from rules. That's hard. Yeah. So they go get coffee and Lala's gonna order a toasted island latte, please. And then the lady asks, are we paying separate?

And Lala's like, it's on use because you're balling. Okay. Ariana's your ball and string now. So they're talking about her photo shoot for that bar book or whatever. And Arianna's like, I killed it. This is me hitting a TV with a golf club. It was like the I killed it. This is me hitting a TV with a golf club. It was like the biggest release ever. Cause like, you know what?

I really like never let myself get angry. And then we see a clip back of her being like, fuck you, fuck you, get out of my face. I can't see you again. Shut the fuck up. You, fuck, fuck, fucking look out. I said I wanted a grande latte bitch. It was like five minutes ago.

I know. Be nice. Be nice coffee or whatever it's called. Like throttling the be nice lady. I wanted a flat white. So, all right. It's like, yeah, I need to hit things more often. And Lola's like, yeah, you need to hit things more often. And Lola's like, yeah, you need to hit things more often.

Oh, and by the way, where do you think these straws? I don't like that we're coming to that place in history where we're like, you know what, I've had enough fucking guilt, okay? We've taken enough fucking guilt over the past few years for things that have completely been out of our control. We can't even breathe in public anymore without getting dirty looks at a fucking Ralph's, okay? I'm using this straw.

The turtles are taking a second seat. What is it gonna be about me? It was probably, let's be honest, it's probably a cardboard straw. It's okay, that's how they get you. They let you not have straws until you're finally okay with the disintegrating cardboard. Like we're all drinking out of a fucking Amazon package,

you know, we're fine. Listen, cardboard straws have come a long way since in the past 20 years. It used to be that you take one sip and it would just like flop on over on its side. But now they, they last, they last a while. The what now has to change is they can't make the lids so incredibly tight that it like crushes those things. You know, I, you know, it's funny. They do need some lid work. They need to like chill out. You know what's funny? They're gonna need some lid work.

They need to like chill out. You know what's so funny? Just saying that right now, wasn't I talking to you about how on beside blog, I used to write the stupidest shit. I used to have like posts about how I would write things like I went to the gym today and someone picked up my towel, you know?

And as I'm saying this, I'm remembering, I literally wrote a post of complaining that the Starbucks lids were too tight on straws. I was like, what's even the point? How could they do this to us? Well, Starbucks, they're trying to make you not use a straw by making the little opening, right? So that you have to squeeze the straw in

to get the little opening, but then they made the straws really hard. So it's hard to get the straw in. I have to say, stop with your fuckery, okay. We're going back to straw Starbucks and get with the point I hate getting around straw into an oval or an oval or like a rectangular like and yeah I don't think you have to do that and like it you can do it, but I just it just feels so inelegant Yeah in terms of design it is. Yeah, it's sect. We're doing straws today, though, guys. Yeah, but I like this. I like kind of a little rebellion,

whereas like we're doing fucking straws. Okay, you can call yourself, be bright all you want. I want to fucking straw, and you're going to give it to me. I work for a living. I pay my taxes. Bring me a goddamn straw. And by the way, I'd love a bagel with some turtle head on it. Just smear some dead turtle on top of that shit and bring it. Don't you remember we released little sea turtles into the ocean at Katie's wedding? We did. Yeah, we're really good people. Yeah, we actually have, actually, no, that's, that's why we are,

that's why Ronnie's allowed to say that because we have sea turtle cred because we have released sea turtles into the ocean. And we did it really well. Like we really got that. We supported them. Got them out. That was a beautiful day, by the way. And by the way, and by us saying that we really see turtles into the ocean, we stood and watched Katie do it and took pictures. We did it. We had to go chase the little turtles and tell them they'd be okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, we did that.

We stood over them and we're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. And we judged them. Uh, but you know what sucks though? We're like, you're fat. You're never going to make it. But you know what? We're like being to an alpha coach.

We're like, you're never going to, you're never going to get another donut again. You fucking crazy turtle. Imagine what that kelp is looking like. But you know when it gates all our sea turtle cred? Sandabal was there. So Sandabal was there. We didn't hang out with him until later.

He was not with us at that turtle park. He was not. I just want to say though, if he tries to use the sea turtle cred thing, revoke it. Oh God, he's speaking of stupid hats. Oh, I think that's on the Beverly Hills recap. But anyway, he was in that stupid hat all weekend. You can hate stupid hats.

OK, so let's see. So straw straws. OK, so Ariana's like, so this trip, I mean, Sheena called me and Sheena's crying and then like everybody's crying. Why is everybody crying? What happened on the trip? And she's like, the trip Swiss weird dudes. I've never seen Sheena like ever. Like she was a shell of a person. Her name is Sheena. Have you ever paid attention to her? Sheena is a shell of a person.

No. Okay. It's a fun shell, but it's still a, it's a tortoise shell while we're on turtle. That's a very fashionable shell. But that's the point. Yeah. no, but you don't understand her eyelashes have never been more dry. I have never seen something like it. Literally flake her eyelashes were flaking like Alice Shealy in the Breakfast Club. The words from dry eyelashes. It was like two rakes were attached to her eyeballs. And she's like, yeah, but like, I think her whole thing is, if like, I got somewhere and he's around, can I enjoy myself on a very surface level? And she's like, um, it was not like I'm asking her to fight him or anything.

Like I'm just not asking anything of anyone, just saying like, if you hang out with Tom, like you're dead to me and I'm just like, hope you fucking, like, dying of fucking garbage disposal. I hope you're like a spoon that's left in a fucking garbage disposal and just left turned on. Cause Tom's too fucking lazy to turn it off himself. Yes. Yeah. But that's where she's at. Okay. Like, like the internet was like ripping her apart for that photo. Okay. And she goes, yeah, cause of that photo.

I'm like, Arianna is like, yeah, I saw the picture. What do you think is going to happen? Yeah. Yeah. But like you didn't come to her defense at all. So those like, well, I'm not didn't come to her defense at all. So it's like well I'm not gonna like post and then have my shit reposted as a headline Yeah, but even for your friends your friend with dry eyebrows like in eyelashes her eyebrows dried out too

And so like you couldn't tell her like all yours like all your stands to say like hey, I love Sheena She's like a great friend knock it off. It's like I mean, I mean, I guess, like, oh, and she goes, yeah, don't you think that would have been nice? From what I've seen of Ariana's, she's like constantly on social media, just scrolling, so you don't want to make a post and be in the mix. You step out of your house and you're in the fucking mix. God, I wish I could have that. You left your fucking finger and you're in the mix, Skask.

Hmm. Commercials. Here comes one right now. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay, I am here for you. I'm Darcy Cardin and I'm inviting you to listen

to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends, as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the sciencey term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster

as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow Wikihole on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Wikih whole ad free by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. So she's like, yeah, like, listen, this girl was so upset about what these people did to you. I mean, she caught her straining corner from that. Okay. She was like, biggie for you. She went biggie for you. What are you doing to her? Okay. She needs like closure and she needs like, and I love you and you will always be my

best friends and whatever you need to do to heal. You can see that. And she's like, uh, look, I can always tell her I'm going to love her cause I will always love her. But I mean, if she wants to hang out with him, to me, she's going to be like, like a baby hamster that's not good enough for his mother. You know what I mean? She's just going to have her head bitten off right while the kids of the family

watch. Can you tell I'm still traumatized? I'm never going to forget watching the mother hamster eat all the baby hamsters heads off. And then she just leaves the little baby hamsters there headless and then she'd eat them all later. And we still had to hug that hamster. Yeah. Childhood. I know that's that's that's the, I mean, that's hamster, hamster life right there. That's a hamster. That hug that hamster. Yeah childhood. I know that's the, I mean, that's hamster life right there. That's hashtag hamster. Yeah, hashtag hamster life, okay. So either way, Ariana's kind of like,

yeah, I still feel the way I feel, you know? And so Lala's like, yeah, but that's exactly what I'm nervous about. And Ariana's like, okay, well, sorry. And Lala's like, well, you can't be that way, Ariana. You can't shut down like this. She goes, yeah, but like it's not me shutting down. I'm doing what's right for me and I'm not the person to come to with the

Santa Vols sympathy train. Yeah. You guys too soon with this. I mean, this is really too soon to be coming to, especially Lala of all people. Would she kind of acknowledges in this? Like she kind of acknowledges in this episode, like maybe I just hung onto my anger for so long. I don't know that I just hung onto my anger for so long. I don't know that you did hang on to your anger for too long.

Rand is a piece of shit. Okay. I mean, I think you knew that when you got with him, but that's a different story. But I think you were allowed to be mad at him. But to be such a hypocrite and not even like trying black ball Schwartz from the from the group when he was gonna play pickleball with Rand. And then now like two months after all this other shit happened to be like, yeah, get over it. Yeah.

I think it should just be something I just feel like they should just let, she just should not be confronting Ariana with this, you know, Sheena can do what she wants to do. And you know what? Like the friendship, I almost feel like if Ariana's gonna stop being friends with Sheena because of it, because Ariana's trying to protect her happiness and her peace, then let that happen because then they will probably come back together again once there's a thought. But don't try to force the thought.

And in fact, Ariana says something that makes a lot of sense. She says, you know, I'm trying to be compassionate, but I also know that Sheena is very easily walked all over. And, you know, Sandoval knows that Sheena is the best way to get back, like to get back, is the one to get back in this corner, because then Lala will follow and then James and then Ali, and then they're all going to be back together. And then they're going to ice me out of the friend group. And that's kind of exactly true. She's correct.

I mean, really the only fight here is because it's a tv show Which we all know right and I think the only way to fight this is to be more interesting than tom Because right now if you're both going to insist on staying on this show and they're both and they're insisting on keeping you both Whoever's the most interesting is ultimately going to be who the friends side with right right? So They're all now that you're so famous from all of this and more successful in being on Dancing with the Stars, they're all going to turn on you to ice you out. So it's not only Sandoval that is going to happen no matter what. Yeah, they're going to come for you no matter what. So you need to be more interesting than Sandoval. And let me tell you one thing,

that man is showing up in sleeveless little girl sweaters with like 12 year old teenage girl necklaces with letters all over them that my nieces make me as bracelets. Okay. And you and he's, I don't know, being crying and stuff. You're driving around with Katie like you need to make a line in the sand. Okay. I suggest beating up Katie. I just, I suggest you go on the freeway, open the door and push Katie.

That's my suggestion, but you just, you have to do something. I just want to say, I just want to push back and say, I don't believe that Sandvall is wearing a 12 year old girl sweater. I believe he is wearing a piece of the International Mail catalog formal wear. That's true, which was based on little girl sweater. It was based, let me say. That is like their tuxedo. They're like, it's as tacky like gender, what people are wearing.

But that's kind of what he's doing. He's like, well, I'm so young and cool. Like, my not binary-ness. I'm like, no, you're not. I'm Harry Styles. Yeah, just stop. Please. You're so old.

So old. I do have one positive thing to say to you though. And this is hard for me to say, but it's my gift to you, Tom Sandoval. I will always be older than you. Happy birthday! Not your face darling. He's past you there many, many years over. So anyway, so yeah, so that's what Ariana says. So now we go to Christina. Oh, you know, I was thinking Christina and Katie, they, uh, they gather to go to lunch. You know, I put Christina in the, uh, in memoriam this year for the crappies. And here she is.

She's back. Why would you do that? Cause we hadn't seen her yet on the season. I was like, literally just on the last season. She had a baby and I just sort of assumed she was a classic. They all had a baby. I assumed she wasn't coming back. But then I thought like, okay, did I jump the gun just to put another name into the, into the in-memorium?

Perhaps. But then again, it is kind of funny to get, like, I think almost going forward, we just always been in the memory, in memoriam, Chris, you know, Kelly, we've had repeats in the, in memoriam. We, I mean, I think we put Danielle from summer house in the in-memoriam before. I think captain Lee's been in like four. People definitely made it in their multiple seasons, you know, so I think we're gonna make her have hope. Don't let the dream die, Christina. Remind me in about 10 months from now,

Christina goes back into the in memoriam. Well, I would like to remind you of something I said five minutes ago when I was saying compete and have be more interesting than Tom Sandoval. This doesn't help. Finding Christina Kelly to lunch with Katie does not help. I'm just warning you. So they go to lunch and what's happening here? Okay, so Fun Girls lunch. I wrote Fun Girls lunch, cause here are these two come.

You know this is gonna be fun. Remember last year, oh my God, we're gonna have the most fun girls' trip. This is gonna be amazing. I'm not drinking, are you drinking? You girl's trip. This is gonna be amazing. I'm not drinking. Are you drinking? You're not. It's gonna be amazing. Lake Havasu for the win. And then they were like, Are we gonna have straws?

No, we're still not gonna have straws. Hey, look, I have a straw if you don't have a straw. I'm not gonna have a straw. Yeah. Do you guys want to ask the guys of the next pontoon over if they have straws if you don't have a straw. I'm not gonna have a straw. Yeah, do you guys wanna ask the guys of the next pontoon over if they have straws? No, yeah, me neither. I just squirted all over that pontoon. Lala. So they all ordered drinks and everything

so Sheena comes in with Lala and she was like, well guess what everyone, my daughter broke her arm today. She fell off the couch and we were like, like we were with her with like in two seconds but she was like, well, guess what everyone? My daughter broke her arm today. She fell off the couch and we were like, like we were with her with like in two seconds, but she was like on the couch and then she like fell off and like broke her arm. Lala was like, what color was the cask? I was like, I'm pink. I was going to let her like choose, but like then like,

she's going through the options. I was like, I'm nothing but pink goes with her wardrobe. So Barbie weekend. She broke her arm on Barbie weekend. Like what other color was there going to be? I'm like, surely she's going to win options. I was like, um, nothing but pink goes with her wardrobe. So Barbie weekend. She burger on Barbie weekend. Like what other color words are going to be? I'm like, surely she's going to win an Oscar this year. Bye bye. This just in summer moon has been cast and dancing with the stars.

Season 300. When this is my turn. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I wore it on my wedding. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da. Those of you who are not theater queens and don't know what that is, that is gypsy, the musical. Do yourself a favor, drop whatever you're doing and go listen to it right now. At least that song, Rose's Turn, the mom just breaking down at the end. Yeah. We've used it in so many Bravo shows and it always works, but I love that it finally made its way to Sheena.

I had surprises like this long to be honest. I mean, because if you listen to this. You're gonna find some meme in the background. Yeah. I feel like you have to always be ready on this show for Gypsy or Into the Woods or a little shop of horrors. Yeah. There's can't be any moments.

Okay, so, hmm, yeah, Sheena broke her daughter's arm because she thought her daughter was going to make it on to dancing with the stars before. Okay, spread that. Spread that every minute. Okay, so she's like, I mean, isn't it just my luck that I was like refusing to leave my kid with everybody because like I was was so worried that they were gonna like hurt my kid. But then like, I was sitting right there and watch my own child, my own child fall off the couch. Isn't that hilarious? So is this like the full circle of she in

the storyline where now she can get a nanny? She's like, well, I saw her book where I'm and I was fine. Okay, take her Tory. Well, sometimes you need, sometimes you need to have a rude awakening. So Christina's like, I'm in like a mommy bubble. I need you guys to give me drama. Oh, I guess that's an, that's an illusion to the fact that she had a baby. Right. So of course everyone, I guess they never mentioned that she had a baby on the show.

Did they? No, I don't, I read it on the internet. I didn't learn it from the show. So they're like, okay, yeah, whatever, Christina. They of course totally ignore her. Kitty's like, so you could think about like the one person who's it on the internet. I didn't learn it from the show. So they're like, okay, yeah, whatever, Christina. They of course totally ignore her. Katie's like, so you could think about like the one person who's been on the outs. And she's like, who, who like, Sanda, Sanda ball?

Who is that again? Let's just note that Katie brings up Sanda ball and this is the trick because it becomes important later. So Christina is like, who, who, who, Sanda ball? Who, Sanda ball, who? Who? Who? Sandoval. Who? Sandoval. Who? I don't even know her. And then she was like, yeah, well Sandoval was in Tahoe with us and then he opened up like right next to Sabarro.

And like, I don't even know why he came over, but he did. And it's like, cause you were like, come on here, this is the love. This is the love, We've been friends enough. Isn't it weird that an S and a B can go together in a word? Where the S goes first before the B? Right, when I was trying to teach my child consonants and nouns.

You know, it's like, I feel like if B can be with S, then I could be with, I don't know, Dancer of the Stars. I thought my daughter was never gonna learn what a vowel was And then we saw subaruos and I'm like totally comfortable with just leaving summer to subaruos We actually renamed her a subaruoman Brack's other children are named Domino's and son Domino's hot. And what was that other one with a guy at the CEO

who doesn't get medical insurance to his employees? Oh God. Hobby Lobby. Papa dance. Papa dance. Of course. Caesar. He don't give women medical care in his dreams.

Is that what it was? Is that what it was? I don't know. Maybe because I said hobby lobby. There's something he doesn't do, right? I don't know. Your pizza sucks too, buddy. I actually like Papa John's.

Babe, I'm sorry. I haven't ordered it in forever. Papa John's. He's been, I think he was ousted anyway. You know it's a good one. Is it Big Jersey Pizza chain? Big Jersey. I've not heard of that. We have that here's a good one. It's a big Jersey pizza chain big Jersey have not heard that We have that here. It's big jerseys. Yeah big jerseys from Tana fly with Mark Richards

Okay, so, you know which one I actually know what pizza's so good Gorgon Gorgon sons Gorgon sons this is shockingly like a Stofer's French bread. What? Hey, that's how they do it though. That's how they do it though. It's coming back soon, can't wait. Okay, so Sheena's like, yeah,

it's Seneval from Tahoe and he opened up and I know like 100%, like without a doubt, those were genuine tears that he was crying in Tahoe. And Katie's just like. Yeah. So I'm lost here. I don't remember. Christine is like, do you think he's more sad about losing your friendship than he is

about losing his relationship with Ariana? She was like, I mean, honestly, yes. Like he was so unhappy with her for so long. By the way, Christina, I hope one day you have a baby. I do. I do have a baby. Did you take it to Sparrow's? No.

Well, then you don't have a baby. Wait a minute. Neither do I. I hope somebody picks up summer moon from Sabara. Sabara moon. Wait a minute, neither do I. How somebody picks up summer mood from Sabar? Sabar mood? Sparrow, sparrow, sparrow. So, by the way, we're joking, but Sheena, yes, he was unhappy with her for so long. Oh, poor fucking Tom. Are you really this flipped?

I mean, I get maybe being a little bit like, well, we were friends and he did so many nice things and can I at least talk to him? But this is pretty flipped already being to the point where you're like, oh, yeah, tom was just unhappy with her for so long. That's like, yeah, what really upset him was losing his friendship with me. Yeah. So Kristen is like, I mean, Katie is like, well, why do you think or Christina is like sorry? I'm like deranged She's she's like why do you think that she stayed and she was like um? You don't know so you're in it like you can't judge like literally like a Jackson Britney soon on a spin-off Okay, they got married and then then they and they had a baby and then we see of course flashbacks of Jackson Britney's greatest Yeah, cool, you're coolG! You're a cool guy, you're a cool guy.

Cool guy, you're a cool guy. So Sheena's like, I mean, I could not believe that those two got married, that is crazy. And Katie says, well, there are still stories about him running around town. I've heard. No, it's like Beyonce. So Christina is saying,

Sheena, so Sheena, where are you at after this? Knowing full well, right? Because Christina is always there to be Katie's mouthpiece. And it's sometimes annoying as a viewer, but it's also just good to have that kind of, that good of a friend. You know what I mean? Yeah, it is good.

So Sheena's like, well, I'm finally fine. It's like five months later going through a grouping process and like, Arionne has like already group the loss of this like making minds of dollars and like living her best life and like being on like certain shows. I'm not going to name them, but like, you know, certain shows about dancing that have been around for like 20 years that like they've never asked me, but like, you know,

I'm just living her best life. Yeah. I'm like dancing with like a lot of not stars right now. My dance class was like, don't even care about right now because it's not about being a star because it's not even the title. It's just called dance class without stars, which really sucks. So it's really all I wanted to be on dancing with the stars.

So he's the type of individual you want in your life because you miss the person that doesn't exist, says Katie. And she was like, yeah, the person he was, like I definitely missed that, you know? And like the first year when we were on like the up front in New York City and he was like the only person who like welcomed me into photos with this group. It's like if there is only some kind of solo dancing to stars that will pull me into the metaphorical photo

of that show, that would be really wonderful. And Katie's like, oh, she not, that was a million years ago. She's like, but I don't forget those things. She goes, I know, but like, let's try maybe. Well, of course you want her to try it because you were one of the people bullying her ass at that point because you were under the orders of Stasi

and the other one, Kristen, and you were bullying her at that point. So of course you are just like, well, why would you forget it? Like just forget somebody being kind to you while I was fucking bullying you. And that's also kind of the rub here with Sheena Well, why would you forget it? Like just forget somebody being kind to you while I was fucking bullying you. And that's also kind of the rub here with Sheena is, Katie has bullied Sheena for years.

And like Katie, Sheena keeps going like that. Like last season, last season. Literally every other season. Like when Katie was on the outs and Stasi dumped Katie and then Katie had nobody. And remember how she had to be friends with the guys? That was so funny. She was like kind of friends with Santa Balfour that season.

And then Sheena befriended her because she was the only one. Like Sheena to her credit, she is like, you know, very dry eyelashed, dissrag when she wants to be, but she's also there for all the bullied people, you know? Like she kind of welcomes them back in because you were the bullies Madame. Yeah, so now that said she was totally wrong

Too far with that Here's the thing she always undercuts with if Forgiving herself when she was the one who was being a total asshole in that situation Like you are you're kind of the reason that this is awkward. Now all that said, Sheena, you're damn wrong on this. You're damn wrong. But then Katie has to make it about her

because she keeps making it about how Sheena is always making it about Sheena. But then Katie finally lets the mask slip and it's not really about Ariana. It's like, Tom's always sick. Tom's always been mean to me. Tom never supported my marriage. I'm just enjoying watching you work yourself up into a Katie

to see like in person, like inches away. Like normally I see you do this when I live when we're doing like a live show, but I'm sort of like a little distracted because I'm looking at my notes, I'm looking at the audience, I'm trying to pay attention to like all sorts of things. But here I'm just in here watching and like you go up and down a lot and it's like really fun.

Like, like you hear the chair screeching. You're like, cause you're like, you start doing all this like, and you get like really into it. I mean, listen, we all do, but it's like really adorable to watch it from like inches away. It's also tough because this is very confusing because normally it's easier for me. I'm just like, Katie's wrong and you're a bully and you were mean to Sheena and

you deserve whatever you get because you're mean, you're the bully. And no, no, no, no, no. But then this one, I'm no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is going to use her powers for good. She is going to. So Lala's like, you know, that's very unfair to do. It's a safe guys. It's very unfair to say that she knows 10 years ago. And Katie's like, why? Cause that's you. Okay. She goes, but I'm not hanging on to 10 years ago. She's, but that's you.

Okay. That's you. So Katie's like, yeah, I just don't have sympathy. And I'm just like waiting for this conversation to be over. And Katie tells us. Right. But you're the one who brought it up again. Just just to remind you, you and Christina are the ones. So Katie says, I just wish she know would like wake the fuck up and see the situation for what it is. Sandoval never gave a fuck about your friendship.

Cut ties, move on, be a good friend to Ariana, which is like, kind of can't argue with that if you ask me. I mean, I can look. I think that she at least needs to be loyal for a little bit longer. You can't just already be pulling this, but here is my friend when it mattered. I mean, she and I, it's been like two seconds, you know, but, um, yeah. I mean, I think at some point she, they can be like, well, it's Tom Sandoval.

Everybody's cheated on each other. Like we can at least be cordial. We have to shoot a show, you know? Right. It's all just fucked up because they're on a TV show. Just not yet. If they were like a real group of friends, they would just drop Sandoval. They wouldn't even be still talking. Yeah. None of them would be talking. I don't think they'd really hang out.

They have to like, they have to work with him and they also understand the value of a villain on a TV show Especially like they had a pump rules. So lala's like, okay, you know what? Let's talk about something fun and she goes Oh, I've got a good one for you. I slept with the bartender And you know, he's proud of it because he would not sign a filming release and his face is blurred Come on show your face. Ashley Parker Angel release and his face is blurred. Come on, show your face, Ashley Parker, Angel.

We all know is someone from O town, right? Like that's, that's the reason why he was blurred out. Not because he slept with Sheena. It's just that he doesn't want people to see what it's up to these days. So Lala's like, Oh my God, recently she's no recently. Come on. It was literally 2006. And Katie's like, wow, really glad I left the house for a desk conversation. And Katie's like, wow, really glad I left the house for a best conversation. Oh, so bitchy, but I kind of loved it.

And so Lala's like, what? She goes, I don't understand. And Lala's like, what don't you understand, Katie? I don't want to talk about. Oh, sorry, Katie was like, I don't want to talk about it. I'm literally going to jump off this roof if we have to talk about Tom Sandoval anymore. Oh, she's like, um, we're not talking about him, okay? We've all moved on to talk about the bartender. She fucked an O-sex.

Ryan Cabrera, get over here and show your face on menoprime rules, okay? That's so Katie though, to be like, why are we even having this conversation? Okay, well, let's talk about something else. I'm so sick of talking about Sandoval. But I fucked that bartender. Sandoval is so disgusting why are we talking about it? I'm not even the person with the blurred out face. His face is literally blurred out in real life. We're not even on camera. And Katie's like, well with all due respect, I have sympathy, but I wish she would just get over it. I mean that man has never offered me an apology the whole time I've known him.

Yeah, she was like, and you deserve that. And Katie's like, just like the way I deserve to be on dancing with the stars. So Katie's like, he interfered with my marriage. He made everyone think I was a monster. Man, we have footage of you being a monster. Now, did that man push you? I'm sure he did. I'm sure he had a lot to do with that.

But so did you. I mean, come on. you can't just put everything off on one villain. She's like, yeah, he made me look like a monster. Do you know how hard he made it to get the current offer that I have for dancing with the star? What? No way!

Yeah, they're doing their first emo season. So, yeah, she's like, you know, and the fact, the fact that anyone is having trouble getting over this trash human is fathomless. This person, they're a demon. Yeah. I mean, I kind of, I have to say, I liked the monologue. I thought it was good.

I think she has every right to be pissed at Sandoval, um, because he did interfere with the marriage. Of course you can't blame them. I can see why she hates Sandoval, of course. And like you can't, again, like the marriage was troubled to begin with. He just maybe like, you know, exacerbated it. But I love to be like, I don't know why you are mourning this relationship. Just move forward.

He's a piece of shit. Well, I mean, that's easy to say because she's always hated him. So like to Katie, this is where everybody's going to finally hate the person that she hates because it makes her crazy. She's like, how does no one else hate this person? This person sucks. I'm telling you all this. I've been telling you all for fucking 12 years this person sucks and nobody listens

to me and now finally everyone's going to know this person sucks. We're all on the same page. This person sucks. They're like, I want to hang out with Tom again. Yeah. This was my season to be vindicated and it's like, no, it's vindicated. Yeah. You were not vindicated.

This happens to me with board games, actually, but it's like inverted. I'll be like, guys, will someone play this game with me? It's so fun. It's so fun. And I'll like, I'll want to get people to play this game forever. And they finally play it with me and like, this game was so fun. And in my mind, I'm like, now we're always going to play this game every time we hang out. And then the next time we hang out, they don't want to play the game anymore.

Or it's like you're playing Settlers or Gattam with somebody and you finally have the corner on the wool market. You're like, I own all the wool in town. And then someone's like, I have to go home early. Sorry, I can't finish. I've had that happen. Like, how am I not going to finish? So finally, I've got the wool market corner, and you're not going to let me finish this fucking game of Gattam. Fuck you. That's how Katie is right now. She's like, I just, I finally have the wool market corner and you're not gonna let me finish this fucking game of catamph. Fuck you That's how Katie is right now. She's like, I just I finally have the wool man, Ronnie You've never spoken to my soul more deeply than you have just now Never that's a long game. I'm gonna tell you that I you know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna buy you I'm gonna buy you a copy so that way you can play with your sister

I can't my name is can't even play the game where you you know You passed a little circle and it has clues on it and you have to give each other clues and guess things. I don't know. It's like a very simple party game. Um, like, um, and she's like, I quit. She's not gonna send me a katan. I can tell you that right now. We'll find some katan people for you. Um, Hello there, this is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this.

Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Stroll in the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no baloney. Strollin' the park with Caitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. Erin McNicholas.

She don't miss no trickle-us. She's never scary. It's the Green Fairy. Jamie, she has no less namey. Hava-Neggila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kurt. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Zipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

She's always supplyin'. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD. We're tak're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite murder, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang, the incredible Edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noel.

She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke, Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She's quite the catch, it's Victoria Cotchett. She ain't no shrinking violet kutar. We love you guys.