Watch What Crappens - #2359 RHOP: The Muppet Blow

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Real Housewives of Potomac offers up a fashion show with fashions that could only have been designed by Ashley and Gizelle, and a muppet from the past comes back to fight with Candiace. Grab ...tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What the crap happens? What the crap happens? What the crap happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What the crap happens? What the crap happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? Well hello and welcome to What the Crap Enz,
Starting point is 00:00:24 a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your bros. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Good. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Are you excited to be back? I'm very excited. Why would I not be more than at tip top excitement today. Are you excited? Yeah, thrilled. Everybody, welcome to the show.
Starting point is 00:00:48 It is Monday. Very excited. Very excited because the Bravo schedule has changed, which puts us back in the land of real housewives of Potomac. Now listen, Potomac's one of our favorite shows overall. They've had a stinker of a season. We all know it.
Starting point is 00:01:02 You know, I won't sit here and harp on it, but it has been nice taking a break from Potomac. But man, we came back at quite an episode because it's very dramatique at the end. But before we get to any of that stuff, we are going to do a live show in LA in a couple of months in May for the Netflix is a Joke Comedy Festival. You don't have to buy a festival pass for that. So if you're in LA, just come, it's gonna be super fun. It's a smaller house, so we're just gonna hang out with you guys and have a good time for that whole night. And it's in Hollywood, so it's easy.
Starting point is 00:01:33 And you get the tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, we're gonna be doing our European stint in London, Birmingham, and Dublin. And that's gonna be at the end of May. And so you can get tickets for that also, guess where? Watch at crappens.com. That's also where you'll find links to our Patreon, which is where you can get this video. Hi. And also our bonus episodes. Who knows what we're going to do this week? We just don't know. Probably a trailer for something I would imagine.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Pete Slauson Probably. Jared Slauson Jersey. I don't know. Something that's coming up. But this week here at Crappens has changed because we're back to Potomac. We're back to below deck this week. We've got a new show coming out called The Valley, which is Bravo's spin-off of Vanderpump Rules to showcase Jax and Kristen and all the people they fired before and canceled. So it's the zombie Bravo undead, it's the undead version of Bravo. And we're gonna be here with that this week as well. So what's the whole week?
Starting point is 00:02:28 Come on back, okay? Yeah, it's gonna be a fun time. And then today, of course, as you mentioned, we're gonna be diving back into Potomac. Let's see, what have we missed since the last time we did an episode? They went on a trip. Where are they? They went to Dominican Republic, right? No. Where have total brain fog today. I had very vicious, uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:02:48 I said brain poisoning, food poisoning. So I'm like, I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to apologize the audience ahead of time. I have total brain fog today. I had very vicious, I said brain poisoning, food poisoning. So I'm like depleted of liquids and therefore I am just like trying my best to formulate senses.
Starting point is 00:03:16 So I apologize if things come out of my mouth that make zero sense. Well, I think we're all used to it by now. We're a couple of dodo birds who, no matter what's going on on our insides, we've got constant diarrhea of the mouth, okay? That's true. We don't know what's coming out of us. So, I think the audience is going to be just fine. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Okay, so let's go to Real Housewives of Potomac. Now, here's the funniest thing to me about this show. They are the biggest offenders in this. All of the Housewives shows say hello. I mean, that is really one of the, it's bigger than vagina waxing, which by the way, we got some vagina lasering last week, so I'd like to thank you guys for that as well. But all of the Housewives do these certain plots, right? Like the vagina lasering, the whatever. One of the biggest things that they do that makes us crazy is the hellos, where they have nothing else going on. So they just say hello for 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:04:10 And that is so this episode, it was not the episode with them saying hello. It's like, okay, we're going bowling. Oh, Mia's coming in. Mia's in slow motion in like a dress that's the color of slacks. And then she comes in and everyone's like, Mia, oh my, Mia, you look so pretty. Hi, hi ladies, hi girls. And then maybe there might be some commentary about like Mia came in looking like she was ready to party tonight.
Starting point is 00:04:39 And then it's like, then you have like five different people weighing in, like when Mia parties, she just parties really hard. Yeah, she's like a bit of a partier. Yeah, she's like, different people weighing in. Like when Mia parties, she just parties really hard. Yeah, she's like a bit of a partier. Yeah, she's like, she parties a lot. And you're like, wow, it's been 15 minutes and all that's happened is Mia's walking. Literally today they didn't even do those little lines.
Starting point is 00:04:54 It was just like, look, it's Mia, hi Mia. And then, it's Robin getting out of a car, walking very slow. Oh my God, it's Robin, hi Robin, hi girl. Hi Robin, you look so pretty. Oh my God, it's Robin. Hi Robin. Hi girls. Hi Robin, you look so pretty. Oh my God, you look so pretty too. You guys, Giselle's coming in. Da na na na na.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Slow motion Giselle coming in in some terrible outfit of the day. Oh my God, Giselle. Giselle. You know there are- Oh my God, literally for five minutes and then they do it in the next scene and then they do it in the next scene and then they do it in the next scene
Starting point is 00:05:25 Oh my fire everybody just fire everybody at this point You know that they were really stretching for content when they even gave Shasha a slow-motion walk into the restaurant I was like, are we really having a slow-motion Shasha walk right now actually been that was pretty rude because that was just Shasha's walk It was just her walking. It's just very, very slowly. Her it was on her hoverboard. That's a joke that upon that upon it. This season, I'm going to have a champagne womb and a hoverboard. Hey girls. Well, Fatha did have a crab boil last week on the show. So there was an unseasoned crab boil. Unseasoned. Congrats. Congrats on your shitty crab boil. That was the shittiest crab boil. I mean, you could taste how bad that crab was. You could just look at people's faces and be like, wow,
Starting point is 00:06:22 what a disappointing boil, ma'am. Yeah, that really is true. I did enjoy, she did slam the table last week because she was trying really hard to get Candace and Robin to mend their rift. And I just liked, was it Gisele who was like, we've got to do something to make sure Sharice stops banging tables.
Starting point is 00:06:43 They showed like a montage of Sharice banging tables. That was funny. Sharice just gets drunk and comes in and slams on tables. That's her thing. Okay, so today, oh, another thing that's happened that's leading up to today's episode is Sharice and Ashley having a fashion line.
Starting point is 00:07:05 One of the funniest fucking things I've ever heard. I mean, cause they notoriously are both terrible at fashion, you know? Right. But since most of this stuff does seem to be Alibaba type, so I mean, they have a designer there, so not taking anything away from him, but since Ashley's life seems to be Alibaba,
Starting point is 00:07:23 you know, she loves that. And I respect a girl or a boy, really. I respect anybody who loves a bargain. I'm an old Navy game myself. So I respect the Alibaba game personally. But it's just funny that these two out of all of the people on this show get a fashion line. Yikes. I know. I mean, I think that is the joke of it. I think they probably set them up for that being like, okay, this will be a total disaster. Because it's these two. But anyway, yeah, they have that because they're gonna have a fashion show later this episode. So the episode opens up with Wendy FaceTiming her producer. She's really nervous because she's gonna be shooting finally the pilot for her talk show that she's been talking about all season long.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Her YouTube show. It's very scary guys. You know, Ben actually had to talk me off a ledge before we did this today. So I was like, Ben, I'm so scared to go on YouTube. It's gonna happen. He's like, honey, you can do it. I'm like, yeah, if we spent the entire 50K, Ben,
Starting point is 00:08:21 if we spent the entire 50K. Ronnie, get out of bed, we're gonna do this. It's very- I've hardly held my hand until I could get it together to come here and here I am. I've coaxed you, I coaxed you out here. I said, listen, Patti LuPone is waiting for you. And you're like, fine, I will show up for Patti.
Starting point is 00:08:38 And then I had to break it to Ronnie that Patti LuPone was never here in the first place. Which is why I'm about to tell you Karen and Ray go to the heart doctor. Can we can we set up all the scenes by doing that please? That was great. And now to introduce the next scene, Miss Patty LePone. You have this chlorine calcium score. It was bad last time, it was scary last time, but it's better this time. You've got no calcium, no calcium.
Starting point is 00:09:09 No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium.
Starting point is 00:09:15 No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium.
Starting point is 00:09:22 No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. So, they go to their doctor, Dr. Jack Flyer, who I presume Karen picked because he's eye candy, because that's how Karen operates. Which, by the way, last week my fence blew down because I live in the country and that's just shit you say. Hey, man, you know what happened to me today? My fence blew down. Is that when I was there? No.
Starting point is 00:09:40 It was a week before. Oh. So, I guess two weeks ago. I'm sure I told, remember I was staring at him, we were talking about it on the show, I was staring at him out the window as he was working, like, a total perv. Jared Yes, yes, yes. Pete Oh my God, look at that handsome guy. I heard a handsome guy off TaskRabbit, what a fucking tool that guy was. I mean, you should see the fence. He was like, we should brace
Starting point is 00:09:58 this fence. I thought he meant with cement. He put a big triangle taller than the fence down there and now I have a big triangle hanging off the fence. My point is don't hire people for the eye candy. Look at their resumes first, guys. Resumes are important. So Dr. Jack Flyer, I mean, who knows? Who knows what the, maybe Karen is full of plaque, but Jack Flyer is an eye candy doctor with bad diagnoses and readings of tests. Well, didn't she want to fuck the pilot too, that she took, remember when she took Raven to the pilot school? That's where she started the eye candy thing.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah, season two. Oh, look, it's eye candy. Hello to the pilot, eye candy. And now she's at Dr. Jack Flier. I mean, Ray, can you read signs, Ray? Because your wife's fucking this doctor. Maybe she thought she was gonna be getting like a heart test by the guy who plays Jack Reacher.
Starting point is 00:10:51 You know that big guy? That's that big guy that's like on all the talk shows right now, just being big and muscular. That guy's so cute. What is that guy's name? Because I keep getting those shows confused. Jack Reacher and then what's the other one? Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then is Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then what's the other one? Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then there's Jack Reacher,
Starting point is 00:11:05 Jack Ryan, and then what's the Keanu Reeves one? John Wick. And then there's also John Carter. Well, John Carter. Yeah, John Wick and John Carter are different. There's like Reacher, and then there's the other one on Amazon Prime with the guy from The Office. That's Jack Ryan.
Starting point is 00:11:21 The guy who's like a badass. It's Jack Ryan and Jack Reacher. But Jack Reacher, the Jack Reacher guy, Alan Richardson, he was on American Idol. And I'm like, you may be all big and muscular and an action star now, but I remember, you can secretly sing. He made it to Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Is he good? Well, I remember. He has a face that he smells something really stinky in the morning. Yeah. He was like, ugh. He's unhappy about something. I feel like I saw him at
Starting point is 00:11:45 Waukino once, which I know sounds. And non ironically, too. You were walking, you know, ironically, but Alan Richson was not. I've never gone to Waukino voluntarily. I'll tell you that much. And I feel like I was there and he was there. Like, I don't know why. I just feel like whenever I think of Alan Richson, I think of Joaquino. So I think I saw him. I remember going to a party once there. Now that I think I went to the opening of a Joaquino once, I went to the opening of the Joaquino in Century City and I think he was at that party. Well, there you go. Of course. Makes perfect sense. Of course, Alan Richson was at the opening of the Joaquino. If anyone doesn't know what guacano is, it's exactly what it sounds like.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Like a very generic Asian fusion restaurant, like a local chain here in Los Angeles. He's very cute, this Alan Richson. I think he's going to go somewhere. I love his smelly fart face. He's going to make it. Okay, so this doctor tells Karen, okay, we know that your whole season has been about calcium, 5% calcium. But guess what? Your calcium score is good. And she just purses her lips. And she's like, great. Well, I told that calcium, I am the calcium. I feel like we missed some good Karen Huger joke when you're telling the story about your fence guy. Oh, you're right. Not in the fence.
Starting point is 00:13:09 You'd want me to ride the fence. I did ride the fence. I actually did. You put a triangle on me. Finally I rode the fence. I don't know what it means to put a triangle on me, but you put one on me and I don't like it. You don't know what that means.
Starting point is 00:13:19 It means like when they're making a brace, so they put a triangle, so it goes up against the fence, you screw it into the fence, and then it's put into the ground. So it's like bracing it but like, dude, eventually someone has to buy this house, you can't sell it with a big fucking triangle brace on the side of the, fix the fence, dude. You know what I mean? Fucking popsicle sticks to it.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Dude, you gotta sell this house, dude. Yes, that's how you have to talk to handymen because they're generally very big straight guys. So you have to suddenly I'm like this, hey, it's like I call a task, so it's tough, dude. But yes, that's how you have to talk to handymen, because they're generally very big straight guys. You have to suddenly I'm like this, hey, it's like I call task, grab it, and I become more manly. And I'm like, hey, bro. All right, here's the problem with defense. You know what, bro?
Starting point is 00:13:54 I trust you. I trust you. I'm going to be inside. Just send me a shoot me a text when you're done. I'm sure it's all going to be great. And then he did send me a text when he's done. And I'm like, why do I trust people? I trust anyone who's straight acting because I'm like, they're manlier than me.
Starting point is 00:14:05 And if I say anything that is gonna offend their masculinity or any shade of doubt, they're gonna throw keys at me and I'm gonna have to catch. And this is the most terrifying thing. So I'm like, oh yeah. I know, it's fun. One of the perks about visiting Ronnie in Texas is that I get to see him code switch a lot.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Amongst all the straight Texas people. Like I forget where it was. We were like, thanks man. And I was like, oh yeah, yeah Ronnie, do it. I mean, we switch a lot. When he amongst all the straight Texas people, like I forget where it was. We were like, thanks man. And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, Ronnie do it. I mean, we all do it. That's part of- Well, I'm very straight when I'm not talking about Bravo Ben.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I'm very, I'm very hetero acting. I'm very hetero normative when I'm not recording about- I like to think I'm that way too, but sometimes I hear a recording of me and I am Sassy McSasserson. So I think I lost my code switch. Okay, so next Ashley is getting ready for her big GNA fashion show,
Starting point is 00:14:53 which by the way, went to the website. Still nothing is up there. They've got a couple of them, Kenzie's Child's, Christmas ornaments and a couple of shirts that say GNA, which somehow looks like Gran, the way that they've written it, because it says GNA right next to each other over and over. And it looks like it says Gran. I'm sorry, you guys do better, like make an effort. At least, how could you have this huge platform and you're coming out with all of this shit, you're not making any of this stuff, how
Starting point is 00:15:20 are you not selling it? I would have bought something. I didn't only go to the site to mock you people. I went to buy that cute pink Mylar jacket thing that they had there. I thought I would look really cute in that. And it's not for sale. Okay, but you can't buy a shirt that says Gran a hundred times when you think it. Yeah, it surprises me why, like they've had a lot of time to get this together. Like how do you not have your website available to take orders?
Starting point is 00:15:50 I don't, I don't understand this. So Ashley's working on that and she's talking about how, she's like, well, the time has finally come for everyone to see GNA in action. And it has been months of stressing and designs and not really being a real fashion designer. Just talking about it on TV and Then we see six weeks ago. They're like talking about it About like what they're gonna, you know do and everything and then we come and then we see like five weeks ago they're picking up fabrics and then you know
Starting point is 00:16:28 Being designers being fashionistas, if you will. Yeah. They're very like, designers, we have five more minutes. Hi, Stitch! Like running around a room of fabric. And then we meet the actual designer Desmond, who I was impressed that they gave Desmond some credit, you know? And Desmond was like, guys, we need advice on this. Okay, so I just want advice. We're going to flare out the bottom, right? Yes, yes, we are going to flare out. That's a quid, that's not a quid. Just nod your heads.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Yes, we are going to flare out the bottom. Because you know Desmond did all of this stuff. Now should he be proud of it? Desmond, I need some breathable materials if this is workout clothes. I don't work out, but from what I've heard about it, you need, your skin needs to breathe. You have to be putting mylar balloons on people as an outfit. Sure. Yeah. Um, I would not be surprised if the reason there's no designs on the site is the age old tale that Desmond didn't get paid and now he's taking all the designs for himself. And it's a big fight because it's always the fashion designers on these shows.
Starting point is 00:17:25 It's always the two bit fashion designer who gets sold a bill of fame goods and then winds up, you know, getting crushed by the machine and takes the designs and leaves. And then there's always a thing of like, well, everything was going well, but the designer just lost his mind and ran away. I mean, this is what always happens. Well, I guess we're, I guess we can tell, but the designer just lost his mind and ran away. I mean, this is what
Starting point is 00:17:45 always happens. Well, I guess we're, I guess we can tell, but you know what? Desmond already made the clothes. You can't make him in charge of your shop, right? Or whatever they, what's it called? The shop, shop well, or whatever the online shopping thing is, the self-serve shopping, Shopify. You know, Desmond can't do everything for you guys. No, he can't. You know, Desmond can't do everything for you guys. No, he can't. Fucking hell. Fuck Desmond. Jesus, leave the man alone.
Starting point is 00:18:07 It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hey, grownups. The Cat in the Hat cast is a new podcast from Wondry perfect for the whole family. Join the Cat in the Hat and your favorite Dr. Seuss characters as they get whisked away on a new adventure every week. Fish dreams of creating his very own polite and quiet podcast. That is, until he gets a surprise visit to his fishbowl podcast studio from the Cat in
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Starting point is 00:19:07 on Apple podcasts today. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link,
Starting point is 00:19:50 careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, How the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. So next we go to Neckah and her man to do sperm retrieval, which is one of the most awkward sperm retrievals I've ever seen. I have to give her credit. She hasn't made much of a splash on this show, no pun intended.
Starting point is 00:20:25 But the sperm retrieval might just save her ass because wow, I'm never gonna forget it. I know. So basically they are gonna be doing some insemination because there was some talk over the past few episodes that like Ike wasn't really in favor of insemination because it's looked down upon in Nigerian culture, yada, yada, yada. Uh, but, but now he's like, okay, I'm down. So she's like, so do I get to help them? Do I get to help them, uh, do this?
Starting point is 00:20:53 Like, yeah, sure. And they're like, just, just know you can't use saliva or lubricants to do this. So it's basically like no blow jobs. Okay. And then if you're doing a handy, it's gotta be a dry handy or saliva. Oh no, it can't be saliva. I literally just said that. So they go in for what's supposed to be a sexy time of extracting the sperm and instead it's just like full of confusion and shuffling. And we just see all the sound people who are listening in just cracking up outside the door.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Yeah. Cause you have to live to, you have to sit there and listen to someone banging the bathroom. That's so weird. You know? And I like that they open the door and she's like, it's just a bathroom. What the fuck did you expect? Like a, a bed that shakes when you put quarters into it. You're at a fucking doctor's office. Couldn't they do this at home? Like, wouldn't you just give people like a little ice chest and like a cup and be like a jerk off at home? Why do they have to jerk off in your office?
Starting point is 00:21:48 It's very creepy. We're in a period of time where I feel like people should be like, you know what, if our business model is asking people to come in and literally jerk off in our office, I think we need to rethink that. Because people need to feel safe. People need to feel safe. People need to feel safe. How many people over the past five years
Starting point is 00:22:10 have been fired for jerking off in their office? And now here you go and people are like, you have to jerk off in this office if you ever want your dreams achieved. The hell, isn't that how we got into this mess? So they are futzing around trying to, they, they, after like 15 minutes, he finally comes into a cup or something. And now it's time to do the insemination. So they go through the process. Ike, Ike actually does the ultrasound because he's a doctor and they look at you see the sperm sort of dancing around and
Starting point is 00:22:46 stuff and you know the glories of modern medicine happen unfurl before our eyes watching the sperm dance around it was like the opening credits of look who's talking okay it was a bunch of sperm uh going through fallopian tubes tubes to the tune of the Beach Boys. Actually, they don't go through the fallopian tubes, they just go. They just go. I don't know how that works, to be honest. Really, the only time I was educated on that properly, because I went to Christian school, so they're like, Jesus does it, you know? You pray to Jesus and then a baby comes out. So, I don't really understand until I saw the movie, Look,
Starting point is 00:23:23 Who's Talking, where they have the opening of the sperm traveling through whatever it goes through, the freeways or whatever, to get there. So, that's how I learned. So, I just saw this. I just, it looked like a bunch of little bugs to me. I will say that Modern Miracle to me was watching Ike just come in like two seconds on demand. Like, they were like, come, and he's like, done. What the fuck do you do that? I mean, to even like, come. And he's like, done. What the fuck do you do that? I mean, to even get to the point where that's an option for me. I have to helicopter, tap dance, pray, beg, plead, offer it money. Girl, open some ice cream.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Pete Slauson It's a lot of, it's a dramatic experience for you. It's a lot. It's a lot harder than just going like, okay, the end, the baby. Listen, Ike is a machine. All right. So now we go over to Mia and Gordon. They're going to go, have another therapy session. I'm not sure about this therapist. I have to say, I'm not sure about her. So they go and the therapist is like, so how's everything been for you all? And she's like, interesting to say the least. And Goren was like, I mean, I've been perfect, of course. The therapist is like,
Starting point is 00:24:32 perfection is impossible to achieve. So I know that's false. Like, yeah, he was very obviously joking therapist. Yeah, I feel like nobody goes to this therapist because her office is so tiny and obviously next to the Xerox machine, you know what I mean? Like she's earning her way back from being in trouble or something. I bet you like maybe fucked one of the patients. I don't know what her deal is, but she's obviously had some kind of issues.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Are people banging next door like, oh yeah, that's the insemination office. I did something. I was late one too many times and I got sent to the office right next to the insemination bathroom. I've actually just rented some free space in the insemination office. Knock, knock, knock. No saliva, you two. I can hear you. It's not even my job to tell them that, but at No saliva, you two, I can hear you. It's not even my job to tell them that, but at this point, you know, might as well help where I can. I'm just rooting for him at the end of the day.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Okay, so they go through therapy. This is super awkward because here's this relationship we've watched for now, what, three years. Meem basically admits she's been with this guy for his money. She met him at the strip club and, you know, he was out there shelling out $10,000 for a few minutes with her. And like, who wouldn't want to marry that?
Starting point is 00:25:52 You know what I mean? So it's a little gross, okay? But at the end of the day, he's a supporter. They get along fine. But I think it's easy to be like, well, whatever. You just married him for his money. Now that the money's gone. This is very disturbing to actually watch because I've come to like Mia over the years,
Starting point is 00:26:10 you know? And I kind of like Gordon. And this whole thing is very disturbing. I don't really like it. I don't like that she threatened to leave so he drained her bank account. And it just seems like a scarier situation. Like she's just in this situation because she's scared. I mean, I don't know. Mia's storylines are usually somewhat light and fun. And- Yeah, like when her story about being a foster child and growing up around drugs and-
Starting point is 00:26:40 That's true. She really is just a light and fun. No, you're right. But I guess she's a light and fun. No, you're right. But I guess she's a light and fun person with more serious backgrounds. Right, there's more, she always seems like she's just like a kind of a reality star
Starting point is 00:26:56 doing stupid stuff and then she actually has serious stuff going on. The whole thing with Gordon. Takes me off guard, is what I'm saying. The whole thing with Gordon draining the bank account was alarming, but also fully in line with the sort of behavior I'd expect from someone who essentially buys his wife. So I'm not saying that makes it okay, but it's consistent with, yep, Gordon's done a good job lately of being like, I'm just sweet Gordon.
Starting point is 00:27:23 But I don't know, I've always thought Gordon was a creep, to be honest. So Mia's saying, well, I think that there's talk about the D word and Gordon's like, what's the D word, divorce? Oh, it's never my consideration. Cause he's doing that thing where he's all nice in therapy. He's like being all sweet and lovely in couples therapy.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And she's like, well, I think I said this in my session last time I was here with you and I'm like committed to Gordon through thick and thin, but not through porness. So when I see counsel for divorce, it's cause I just wanted to weigh out like all my options and see if there's like other like wealthy men I could like marry and stuff like that. And they talk about intimacy and basically,
Starting point is 00:28:07 they seem to have kind of an open relationship. I guess we're going to get into this later on this season from the previews. By the way, how long is this season? I feel like next, it feels like next episode's got to be the last one because they tied up, they were tying up all sorts of loose ends this episode. It had a very season like penultimate episode feel to it. Okay, well fingers crossed. But she was saying, in the preview, we see that they are in a fight about her having an affair
Starting point is 00:28:34 or something, but it seems from this, like they have some kind of open relationship because she's saying, well, he's got a problem with intimacy. And so we find out that he doesn't wanna bang a lot. And so she's allowed, but they make it sound like she's allowed to go outside the marriage, right?
Starting point is 00:28:51 Cause he's like, I've told you, you know, I'm okay with you needing a different kind of intimacy than I can give you, but you're not giving me the kind of intimacy that I need. Like when she comes to bed, she's just on her phone looking at social media or doing something. Well, you know what?
Starting point is 00:29:06 That is intimacy to some of us. Okay? What the hell? That is my kind of thing. If you want to talk to me, like something on Twitter. How about that? Follow me on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Unfollow me so that I can get all upset about it and then follow me again. So I'll notice you. Okay? It's called love. And she's like, I'm not asking you to change. I just want you to be the man that I met. That's all, you know, wealthy.
Starting point is 00:29:30 So this is when she talks about how she's like, you know, over the past few years, there's been a lot of things to strain their marriage. She went through a health scare, financial difficulties with the family and business, and they're just not on the same page when it comes to their goals and what the future looks like. And she was just praying that like over the course of the next year, they can get to some sort of understanding. Yeah, and you know, it's Mia. So you don't know what to take,
Starting point is 00:29:57 because Mia's full of crap, as we all know. So you don't really know how it's being framed, but I want to see more. And I can't wait to see who she cheated with. I'm assuming the rapper guy, right? I'm assuming so. I mean, didn't she say she just got some good D, right?
Starting point is 00:30:15 Doesn't she say that later in the episode, like sort of implying it was not Gordon's D? Yeah, well, you know, to me, Ash, how dare you accuse me of, I just got some good D from someone in the industry. I would never, I'm not a stripper. Well, I met him at the strip club. Right.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Yeah. Or her, I had a health scare last season, her thing last season, her almost, her health scare. And we can, it's a good story. What are you gonna do? So then this, basically this relationship is doomed. So the therapist is just kind of watching them talk and Gordon's like, I feel like a plague. Well, Gordon, you know, I mean, that's what happens when people who had magic no longer have magic.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Okay. You were hot because you had money. Now you don't have money and you're less hot. You still get everything you married her for. So sorry, go get your magic back. That's what I have to say to you. Call Hogwarts. The therapist makes Gordon turn and like hold Mia's hands and look into her eye. And like the therapist is like, I want you to focus on your wife and share with her
Starting point is 00:31:21 what you need from her. I'm like, what sort of therapy is this? This is like some frigging like Dr. Phil Montell Williams, Jenny Jones. This is like afternoon talk show kind of therapy right now. This is not what's gonna heal them with their issues. And so he does his whole spiel that I think you just said. And she's like,
Starting point is 00:31:39 I need you to make time for me. I need you to be willing to listen to me and not make me feel like an afterthought. Get a job, Gordon, okay? That's what you need to do. You need to get a job. Right now, this is not about your fee-fees, okay? Go get a job.
Starting point is 00:31:55 And the therapist says like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I'm sorry that couch is so small, but maybe a little more space between you. You guys, I can hear gum chewing in there. No gum chewing. You do not want a baby covered in bubble gum. So speaking of therapy, we now go over to Candace's house
Starting point is 00:32:14 where she is going to meet up with the one, the only Dr. Ken. He's back. He's back. He's really been such an effective therapist. I mean, look at Candace. Look how far he's back. He's really been such an effective therapist. I mean, look at Candace, look how far she's come. She's gone from crying that her mom hit her in the head with a bag to... That clip kills me every single time.
Starting point is 00:32:36 My mother thought that would be appropriate in that situation was to take her purse and situation was to take her purse and hit me in the head with it. Man, that's a clipboard. You put the clipboard down. Fucking Candace. Also, who else has he been the therapist for? Um, is it just Candace? I feel like he's done some, someone on Baton.
Starting point is 00:33:03 I'm sorry, on Atlanta. I can't remember. Cause there's Dr. Ken, but then there's also Dr. Jeff, right? Right. But I think Dr. Jeff was the one who was like, Meanie, Meanie. Dr. Ken was, Dr. Ken famously is with the, another success story, Drew Sedora and Ralph.
Starting point is 00:33:19 There we go, yeah, Drew Sedora. I'm surprised he's not on the cover of, you know, Psychiatrist Weekly, which is definitely a magazine. Yeah, so he's here. And you know, this is an episode that really wants to teach people that if you have problems, just pretend to go to therapy a couple of times a year for a storyline. Because these people have quite obviously never been to therapy except for storylines. And Dr. K doesn't even try to hide it because Candace is like, here's what's going on with me. And then she unloads everything that's been happening in the past, ever since she saw him last time. Therapy does not work when you just go one time, okay?
Starting point is 00:34:01 They can't fix every, that's why I stopped going. Once they told me you have to commit to it, that's when I was like, bye, I'm not coming to this. I told you my problem was commitment issues and now you're telling me I have to commit in therapy? The fuck kind of program is this? You obviously know nothing, bye. So, Candice was like, yeah, we were talking about starting the process of having a kid
Starting point is 00:34:24 at the beginning of last year. And I started working on new music and that pushed it. Then some things happen. And we see a flashback of how she had some lumps in her breast from a mammogram. And she's, she's Candice is like, yeah, I'm saying to myself and my husband that I need to stop thinking that I, I think that I can't do multiple things at once that she's basically like you said, just, just dropping everything on Dr.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Ken right now. And she's what she's played with all sorts of anxieties and insecurities about becoming a mom. Did she wait too long? Was she too ambitious and wanted to do 5000 things before motherhood and potentially uprooting my plans to become a mom at all. Like, oh, that's going through my mind and it's an unpleasant place to be. Yeah, she's like, I wonder sometimes if I'm using my career as an excuse to not have a baby.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Is your mom, is Dorothy threatening to not pay for any more gigs at the City Winery? Cause that's what I'm getting from this. I think Dorothy is like, Candace, I will pay for two more gigs with your band. And so she's like, okay, I'm ready to have a baby now. Yeah. Well, Dr. Ken's like, well, are you gonna let fear rob you of motherhood?
Starting point is 00:35:42 Because it sounds like that in some ways. That's what you're doing right now. You can ask what's the most important thing to you at this stage today? What do you really want? So then Candace is fully the cry angle comes out and she's like, I think that's, I think that's what it is. Like I want a baby. I want a child.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I think about this like all the time. All the time. Ah! Oh, Candace, that's not true. I mean, I'm not saying she doesn't want a child, but I think your real answer is a Grammy. Like, let's not... Grammy as a child. She wants a child named Grammy. I mean, I don't know. Does she want to give birth to a Grammy? You do not want a child over a Grammy. I don't believe you. Okay, just say the Grammy. Okay. And she's like, I don't deserve to be a mother. Well, I don't believe you. Okay, just say the Grammy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And she's like, I don't deserve to be a mother. Well, I don't know if you've been to a food court lately, but that's not a prerequisite. Yeah, I'm about to say the bar is very low in terms of deserving to be a mother. I don't know if you've checked out a carpool line lately, but I don't know if you've seen any of the Real Housewives before, but I don't know if you watch your network. the real housewives before, but... I don't know if you watch your network. But there are a lot of people that didn't deserve to be mothers and guess what they raised reality stars. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:53 So, you know, she's talking about that. And he's like, well, you know, I think you're ready. And she's like, me too. I can't wait to tell Chris. So then everybody meets in a bar. So this is the 10 minutes of hellos that I was cracking up about before. I mean, literally went on forever.
Starting point is 00:37:13 This went on for so long. They are showing up, it goes on and on and on and on and on. And so they are gathering around and Mia's like, everyone have a seat, welcome to the party, I know your party's on Friday Gisele. And Gisele's like, yes, Gia Nia is coming together, Mia girl, is she explaining what we're doing?
Starting point is 00:37:35 Mia's like, so I told you, I told you ladies that I met with the editor of a magazine. And then we see that she met with someone named Will Walters, who is the editor of Monarch magazine, which I feel like did we ever encounter Monarch magazine before? Or am I just thinking of Nobleman from Orange County? I don't know. Well, either way, Will Walters, he runs this magazine, and it's a local magazine in the DMV area,
Starting point is 00:38:06 and he wanted to discuss an opportunity to do this iconic spread, representing the women who are trailblazers. So naturally, you turn to Mia. Which is why they called Mia. I love them showing the meeting with him, the initial meeting with him and Mia, where he's like, I want women who are on the forefront of things.
Starting point is 00:38:32 I want women up here and things up here and just women getting things and women on the forefront just winning things. And he's like, so naturally you called me. I wanted to crack the back through my husband. Did a great job on the living room remodel of a rental, which was also a great business decision that's paid off recently. Anything else? He's like, yes. And I want you to dress like Dorothy Dandridge. Oh, okay. Okay. With the rest of the cast of The Housewives of Real Housewives of Potomac. So she gathers everybody and she tells them that they're
Starting point is 00:39:12 going to have this photo shoot for this magazine about pioneer black women and, or famous black, I don't know, pioneer makes it sound like Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, like people are coming in on the wagon. I don't mean it like that, but like, you know, really famous black women that came before them. And it looks like a really good photo shoot, actually. Like they all get to, actually, Ashley is Dorothy Dandridge and looks beautiful. And she has her hair in her testimonial. At least her movie hair. Pete So, everyone gets to do this photo shoot, except NECA. Mia basically is like, yeah, I actually let her know that she's not included in this opportunity. And we see that she's basically tells NECA like,
Starting point is 00:39:52 yeah, it's just you're so new and you don't have any direct ties in the community. And, and, but I told him like, she will, she will. But like,
Starting point is 00:40:00 oh, well, I'm like, this is, this is basically, they weren't sure if Nekko was gonna be just like a friend of or a full-fledged cast member, and they were thinking friend of,
Starting point is 00:40:08 so they just were like, you can't be part of this. I think Mia was just pulling a power move, don't you? Because I don't think Will cares. I don't think Will cares about who he was. Do you think the leader of Monarch Magazine is really like, oh, you know what, we have to be picky. I mean, we just have to be picky. I don't think we can have one extra Real Housewife at our photo shoot.
Starting point is 00:40:30 It is a weird, it was a weird thing. I don't know why ties to the Potomac community are so important for a photo shoot. Yeah. Yeah, I think that Mia was power tripping on that one. But who knows, you know, but she's like, don't worry. Once your storyline about jerking your husband off in a bathroom next to a therapist's office airs, you're gonna be on the cover of every magazine in town. Well, you made the child go to grand dom school
Starting point is 00:40:59 and now you don't even let her do the photo shoot. Well, she took it very well. So now Will enters and says hi to them all. And they each have like little binders, which shows who they're going to be dressed as, et cetera. So we find out that Candice is gonna be Diana Ross, which is cool. And then Giselle is Beyonce,
Starting point is 00:41:26 and Karen is Lena Horne. Oh, I love Lena Horne, yes. I am the Horne. I like that they gave Karen the aging one, even though every one of these people is a historical figure and they've all aged and died by now. Still Lena Horne. In my memory, died by now. Still Lena Horne. In my memory, every time I think of Lena Horne,
Starting point is 00:41:47 it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just like an older lady. Like what did she used to be on when we were kids? She would be a guest star on, was it The Muppets? Look it up. I don't remember. I think she appeared on the Cosby Show a few times. I'm gonna put Lena Horne Muppets and see if it was her. What was the name of the lady?
Starting point is 00:42:10 Stormy Weather. Oh, Sesame Street is what I would see her on. Commercials, here comes one right now. Yeah, Karen's Lena Horne, Ashley is Dorothy Dandridge, Mia is Pam Grier, and Wendy is Cheryl Lee Ralph. Yeah, and Robin is Mariah Carey. I feel like that's the biggest stretch. That was a bit of a stretch. It was a bit of a stretch. But you know, hey, it could all work.
Starting point is 00:42:48 I guess. So they do this whole thing. And that's exciting. So then we go over to Robin and she's doing, Robin and Juan are meeting with a realtor at a commercial space for her Glow 30 franchise. I had forgotten that Robin actually is interested in opening up a Glow, like a, it's like a,
Starting point is 00:43:15 it's like a, how do you describe, it's not a med spa, but it's like a place. She describes it, it's a membership facial facility. Oh, it is a facility, okay. So you pay a membership and you go get facials. And you glow for 30 seconds. Hopefully Ike is working there because he can give you a facial on demand within five seconds. Yeah, so it's a facial place and she goes in there with Juan and she's like,
Starting point is 00:43:38 okay, here's what I envision, I envision offices there and then rooms there and then a hallway here. Okay, go outside. And then the realtor is like, okay. And did you notice the realtor just check Robin on her way out? She like body checked her. She like looked at her outfit up and down. I was like, excuse me, keep your eye on your own outfit, ma'am. Okay? You're in no place to judge. You look like, okay, so I have a vision for glow 30 and it was all that I meant it to be. I have a vision for glow 30 and it was all that I meant it. I really am Mariah.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I really am. Facial, facial come, facial me. Rub me up, rub me down, clean my pores out. Okay, Robin, thank you. Got a little too far with Mariah. All I want for facials is you. Sweet, sweet facial baby. Okay, so she sits down and has a talk with Juan and she's like, Oh my God, this is going to be amazing. And he's reading a, he's like, we can do it. It's going to
Starting point is 00:44:55 be great. And he's reading a slogan on the wall. She's like, wait a minute, did you just read that slogan on the wall? You're hilarious. And then we see that she's very serious about this. And you know, guys, because she had a meeting with Mia and Gordon, where she asked them their opinion. I was like, is this supposed to lend credence to this being a good idea? Because you know what's going on with their business, right? Yeah, was this when they were doing their pasta class, uh, earlier in the season?
Starting point is 00:45:28 This is one of the best scenes because Mia was like, sound fine. What about the rumors that you're banging that girl? He's like, Oh, I don't like talking about that stuff. So yeah. Um, so they're excited to open up this glow 30 thing. And, uh, the Robin mentions she's getting a call from Giselle or she gets a good text and she mentions that, um, Giselle's dad is in the hospital and, um, uh, Robin calls and Giselle says that she's hanging in there, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:46:02 And the producer asked Giselle like, Hey, can you talk about what's happening with your dad? And we can see Giselle's getting ch's hanging in there, et cetera. And the producer asked Giselle, like, hey, can you talk about what's happening with your dad? And we can see Giselle's getting choked up and she's like, we can talk about that later. Ah. So we find out that he has brain cancer, which is crazy and so sad, you know? We love that guy on this show.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Yeah. So that's sad. So she's talking about how she's with him and taking care of him, but they have the GNA launch party coming up. So what's going to happen. And then we go over to, I think the business that's probably going to do the best out of all of these Wendy's YouTube pilot. Yeah. It's actually what turns out to be pretty good. She, um,
Starting point is 00:46:43 she's it's, it's the day of the, of the shoot. And she's like, I finally made it to the big day. I She she's it's the day of the shoot. And she's like, I finally made it to the big day. I can't believe it's here. When you're a commentator, you have the privilege of giving you a five minute take on something and leaving but when it's your show, the success depends on whether people tune into me. Me, Wendy. So then she has gone over her budget, which was 50K. And then we see, she was like, I am so proud to be in the situation where I've got myself.
Starting point is 00:47:11 And then we cut to her being like, Eddie, you're gonna give me $50,000? Thanks. And then she's saying, you know, the theme of my pilot was black girl magic. So she has April Ryan, who is a White House correspondent for the griot and Jasmine of the Jasmine brand, and Nikedra Robinson, who's the CEO of black girls vote, and Lindsay
Starting point is 00:47:36 Granger, who is a host of daily blasts, and then she was on the view, etc. So she has like a very strong panel of people for her pilot. And they it looks like by the way, et cetera. So she has like a very strong panel of people for her pilot. And they, it looks like, by the way, also, they're still using that penthouse or whatever it was, not penthouse, the townhouse that her friend had brought her to earlier in the season. So they basically, we just- You know, wonder if that lady's pissed. She's like, wait a minute, you fired me, but you still use the penthouse I found. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it was, we sort of see a montage of them all
Starting point is 00:48:09 kind of like talking, like, you know, about topics. And it looked actually pretty good. It looked like it was well shot, good lighting, good engagement. So, you know, I'm with you. This does look like it'd be the most successful thing to come out of the season. Well, honestly, I was being sarcastic, but it didn't look terrible. Here's what I will say.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I think it did look good too. I think the production quality and everything looked really good. Not that I'm a pro, like what the fuck do I not look at our production quality? Like we're ridiculous. We're just on webcams. I will say on YouTube, she can't spend that much money. You're like, that's ridiculous. Having that huge of a staff and all of that and all of those people there, that dream's gotta die real quick, okay? Think that kind of business.
Starting point is 00:48:55 It's the kind of business is slap it together for $5 and throw it out there. You know how to tiki-taki? Yeah, also good luck booking four guests every single episode. Hello. It is- Yeah, she went really big for these first ones, but, you know, I think once she just, like, relaxes it and spends less money and just, you know, gets a webcam, she's gonna see a profit. So then we go to the GNA Fashion Show. Dun-dun-dun.
Starting point is 00:49:23 It's finally here. What's that? It's finally here. The moment we've all been waiting for. GNA, Gran, the Fashion Show. Gran, crookah. So Ashley is getting her hair done. She's talking to Desmond, and she's
Starting point is 00:49:42 talking about how excited she is for everything. And Gisele walks in and gives a hug and you know, they're all very warm to her because they understand what she's been going through. She's been up and down from Atlanta with her dad, you know, dealing with her dad being in the hospital and everything. And Giselle is just very thankful that Ashley has picked like, you know, Giselle was not able to really be present for all the stuff with GNA. So she's just been really happy that Ashley has picked, like, you know, Gisele was not able to really be present for all the stuff with GNA. So she's just been really happy that Ashley has picked up all the slack and, you know, really risen to the occasion. Yeah, so she's like, yeah, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:17 I'm really excited to finally have this moment because I've talked to all the girls about it. And we get a clip to them on vacation in the van of Ashley telling Candace and Wendy, like, oh my gosh, we're starting a line and it's going to be athleisure. And Candace is like, you and Gisele are going to create clothes. And Wendy's like, is this an April Fool's joke? Like, subscribe. So, they're all really supportive. We know that Ashley's about to get tons of support rolling in off the chain. And then Ashley and Giselle are getting ready for the show and Karen comes and she's like, I know there better be some more dance. I know that because I guess what ladies, hold
Starting point is 00:50:57 on everybody. Dr. Flyer has spoken. I am calcium free. Calcium free. I know everybody's been worried about that. So season's ending, zero calcium. That's right. The only plaque that I have is woman of the year, courtesy of Ray. 14 years in a row. Zero percent plaque, 100% fence. It's me. I'm here. It's me. I'm here.
Starting point is 00:51:25 It's me, hi. I'm the anti-hero for Plack. It's me. So Karen is like... Maybe Plack free, but that doesn't mean I will not order tartar sauce with these old girls. Cause now we got bad Plack. So Karen is, she goes up to Giselle and hugs her and is like very warm and everything. And Giselle is saying there's surgery tomorrow and Karen's,
Starting point is 00:51:56 you know, she's like, just pray tomorrow. Oh, I'm already praying. I started praying when I found out I had no plaque. I said, if I can't pray for my own plaque, then I will pray for whatever else is happening on in this world. So the praying has already begun. So she's actually says some very kind words about Gisele and she's saying how she really could see that Gisele's been crying and you know, that like, you know, Gisele's been a real trooper. So then we get my favorite segment, people arriving. Wendy, da-na-na-na-na. Slow motion Wendy walking in.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Wendy, oh my goodness, Wendy. Hi Wendy. Hi Wendy. Hi Wendy. Hi Wendy. Hey Wendy, you look gorgeous. Thank you, you also look gorgeous. Robin showing up.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Da-na-na-na. Literally another 10 minutes of people squealing hello at each other. And walking in. And then the big surprise of the episode, Mama Sheila showed up. And Ashley's like, I thought you weren't gonna come. And Sheila's like, I wasn't,
Starting point is 00:52:56 but I could never not show up for my daughter. And you know, Sheila's thinking this is gonna be a big tear-jerking moment for the audience. And she's being shot from the back. Just barely. They're like, we're in the middle of a people arriving scene, ma'am. This is the most important sequence of the week, so we're gonna have to keep on going. This is pretty long.
Starting point is 00:53:16 So, so here comes Candace. Candace shows up, and then Debra. Debra's back, everyone. They're pulling, clearly, this is the point where the producers realize this season is faltering. They've realized it a while ago, but now they're like, we gotta pull out all the stops. So we're bringing Debra back into the mix.
Starting point is 00:53:34 So Debra is there. If I pull out all the stops, we mean do as little as possible. Bring Ashley's mommy friend from the park over to literally physically accost somebody. It's a sad day in Potomac. Sad day. So Deborah shows up and Wendy is like, am I surprised that Ashley invited Deborah?
Starting point is 00:53:54 No, Ashley is messy. So she would welcome and invite the opportunity for her to be here. So then we see some flashbacks of last season of Deborah starting shit about happy Eddie, etc. and more hellos, more people coming in. It doesn't seem to end. So then we see the muppet go up and say hello to Wendy and Wendy's fake with her and it's like, Hello, how are you? And she's like, that was called fakeness right there. Why can't subscribe?
Starting point is 00:54:26 So then it was a whole clip, by the way, they made it a cliffhanger that when Wendy was talking to a random lady and then then Deborah comes up to give her a hug, give the lady a hug. And then she goes in to give Wendy a hug. It's like goes to commercial, like, what's Wendy going to do? And when it comes back, Wendy just gives like a little hug and moves on. I was like, really? That was it? You may as well wait for that.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Yeah. They actually freeze framed it and turned everything red. They're like, turn it on. We'll be back. So then everyone, let's see, they all start to sit down and say hello some more, you know? And Robin's like, so when are we going to see photos from the shoot? And they start talking about all the pictures and how good they looked.
Starting point is 00:55:11 And now it's time for the fashion show. Ladies and gentlemen, Ashley and Giselle present Gram, Gram Fashions. And then the ladies watch this fashion show. Now, here's one thing I will say, And then the ladies watch this fashion show. Now, here's one thing I will say, even though we know they had a designer, I believe that these outfits were designed by these two because they're terrible. One of them is a pink Mylar robe that I actually wanted to buy for myself,
Starting point is 00:55:38 just to say I had it really, not because it was cute. What did you think of these fashions, Ben? Oh, terrible. I didn't like them. I mean, I'm not much of a, I don't know my athleisure very well. I don't know what makes for good athleisure, but for sure I couldn't imagine any of these being worn to the gym.
Starting point is 00:55:55 But also, by the way, I felt like I couldn't get like a long enough look at any of them. I felt like the editing was annoyingly fast. I wanted to have some sort of like true lengthy runway moments. And I felt like the editing was annoyingly fast. I wanted to have some sort of like true lengthy runway moments. And I was like, I wanted to kind of like soak it in because it all looks, it all looks so terrible, but I needed to be able to see the terribleness
Starting point is 00:56:14 a little bit longer so I could form some better opinions about it. Well, they were bad. And here's why we've been set up by some very good fashions, and that was the She Buy Shiree. Right, of course. The She Buy Shiree runway line. That was actually really good. I mean, none of that ended up being released because as you mentioned earlier, Shiree didn't pay the guy or whatever, or allegedly didn't pay the designer or whatever was happening with that. So she ended up only releasing a couple of
Starting point is 00:56:44 things. She herself bought off Alibaba, but the actual show is really good. I remember. Yeah. Um, yeah, this one was just, it was chaotic. It was, it was also like adult felt so rinky dink. It was like, there were in some sort of suburban bar doing a fashion show. It just was all kind of sad. I know at one point, Wendy got really upset because, um, one of the models was wearing an outfit that was like, it was like something tucked into pants, but it showed like your sides. And she was like, you know what? I wore that and
Starting point is 00:57:15 they made fun of me for wearing that. And now it's in her line. And Wendy was all upset. But the difference was that then they showed the clip from three, two or three years ago. And it was right after Wendy had gotten her new boobs, and they just were all surprised that Wendy had had a complete change of wardrobe when she had been more conservative the season before. And face and body, because she came back with the most intense season
Starting point is 00:57:37 to glow up of anybody ever. She had like a new face, new boobs, a mommy body lift, you know, whatever she did. She did the whole thing. And Robin was being gel. And the rumors were that Eddie was fucking around. And so they were accusing her of doing all of this to keep her husband, which, you know, karma kind of smacked both her asses on that one, really, in the end. But yeah, that was pretty shitty.
Starting point is 00:58:02 But Wendy's still just like, oh, really? Now they're selling my outfit at the... No, they're not. And that wasn't their point. And I don't even like Robin and Giselle, but Wendy's coming in here so dour, just, it's just like so sour about every little thing. And then they're sitting there making fun of her, making fun of all the clothes. And I don't know, it's just, it's not fun.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Yeah. It's not fun. Yeah. It's not fun. Yeah. So, um, so the fashion is- By the way, they have every right to not like these people. Yeah. I'm not taking away the right to not like them, but it's just like, okay. I mean, at least make it fun. Just not like they're stealing your outfit from three years ago. Like, let it go, lady.
Starting point is 00:58:41 So then, um, she, Giselle is, um, so now they're all dissing their collection, right? Wendy's like, well, what's up with these clothes? Are these supposed to be workout clothes? And she goes, I guess imitation is the greatest form of flattery. And Karen's like, oh, well, that one's good. I'm going to the grocery store in that one. And Kiarna, who's there, is saying that it has Alexander Wang vibes. And Candace goes, Alexander Wang doesn't give you yeast infections. So then there's just Candice says, I mean, it's a very, it's all like a very elevated Alibaba. So and they all are kind of like, yeah, it's not, it's heavier on the leisure side and the workout side. But Rob is like, but I'm very proud of them. I'm putting a collection together. And Mia's like,
Starting point is 00:59:27 yeah, it's very nice. So the people who are friends with them are basically trying to put a positive spin on it. And everyone else who isn't friends with them is like, yeah, this is garbage. This is all garbage. Yeah, it just sucks. So then let's see. So Ashley gives a speech, like thanking everybody. And then, let's see, so Ashley gives a speech thanking everybody, and then Gisele, you know, cries and talks about her dad a little bit, and thanks Ashley for pulling everything together while she was away. And then Mia tells Candace and Wendy, she's like, guys, you know, Gisele's
Starting point is 00:59:59 going through a lot right now because her dad is headed into surgery and Candace says, I'm sorry to hear that. And Candace is like, but here's my thing about that, you know, I can wish people and their loved ones well from a distance and that's what I'm gonna do. And then Wendy's like, well, when my mom was having surgery and my mom was in the hospital, you guys were dragging me and my mom. Oh, please do not compare your mom's thing to someone's dad having brain cancer. Your mom's 10 minute. Wasn't it wasn't her mom's thing elective surgery also. Her mom's thing was an elective surgery that Wendy got caught trying to make a big deal that her own mom would not make a big deal on camera. Right. It was a 10 minute elective surgery
Starting point is 01:00:41 versus Giselle's dad who has brain cancer. Pete Slauson And Wendy tried to make it like, you guys are coming for me when my mother, my poor mother is in the hospital, she could die any moment. Pete Slauson Her mom's like, oh yeah, I went in for elective surgery. I was in there 10 minutes, you know? Pete Slauson I think Wendy is trying. Pete Slauson And here's the thing with Wendy. I agree with Wendy on most everything she's mad at these people about. She has every right to be, they're assholes to her. And I'm really kind of on her side with all of that.
Starting point is 01:01:09 She's just not fun. Wendy's not fun and she just can't get over anything and she's not fun shade, it's just mean. Like the guy has brain cancer, dude. Yeah, I just feel, I'm just concerned that Wendy may be like, she may have expired as a real housewife. I don't know if she's offering anything new or interesting. And I say that as someone who's who has historically been a Wendy fan when,
Starting point is 01:01:32 especially during times when people did not like Wendy, but, um, I just am not sure if she, I just, I don't know. I feel like she's kind of lost her magic, but anyway, Giselle and Ashley join everyone in the seating area and they give a toast to GNA and all the ladies start dancing and they start pouring each other some champagne. And Giselle's just reflecting, Giselle has to go off to her flight to Atlanta and she's like, she's like, this is all happening very fast and she just needs to get through the day.
Starting point is 01:02:07 She just wants to get to her dad. So it sort of seems like the episodes over, but anyone who's watched the previews knows that there's still some more happening and anyone who's watched seen anything on TMZ from several months ago knows something happened. So finally the cameras go down, but the microphones are still recording. And someone is saying, I think Ashley is like, so the cameras are down, right? The cameras are down. So the cameras are down, right?
Starting point is 01:02:32 The cameras are down. And they're like, yes, yes, we're wrapped. So then Debra decides to start a fight. Now this was the biggest shocking thing to me because the cameras were down. So what's Debra doing? Because she's only doing this for camera time, right? Did she just not know that the cameras were down? She may not have known. So what's Deborah doing? Because she's only doing this for camera time, right? Did she just not know that the camera's on her own?
Starting point is 01:02:45 She may not have known. Because this is so Deborah to misfire and pull a Muppet move like this when the cameras just went down. I mean, that shit's funny. That's right. Yeah. Like, Deborah's trying so hard and being so thirsty to get a moment on TV, and then she does it after the cameras went like, stupid.
Starting point is 01:03:01 So we hear her say, Candice, is there anything that you and I need to talk about? And Candace is like, the help is talking to me, the help, get the help away from me, please. And she's like, you called me Sesame Street. And Karen's like, I'm Lena Horne. You didn't say any of that in front of me. You didn't say any of that in front of me. And Karen's like, it's not the place. It's not the place. And Debra's- Hey, she's not friends with you. She doesn't have to say it in front of you. And you didn't call her husband, you didn't call Wendy and all these people cheaters in front of them
Starting point is 01:03:36 either. You did it behind their back. Debra, ma'am. Yeah. So Debra's like, but you don't have anything to say in front of my face though. When I'm in front of you, you don't want to say anything. You don't want to say anything when I'm in front of you. And then we just hear voices going, stop, stop, stop, stop. And then there's like. So this is pretty cut and dry. And the videos that have been released, they're all cell phone videos. But what's been released is slightly confusing. You can't really see who's starting what because it's not shot properly, right?
Starting point is 01:04:06 But now it's pretty clear what happens. Deborah just comes in and tries to start, like physically attack somebody to get on TV. It's fucking pathetic. And Candace too, because I think she knows that Candace already has a history, so Candace will probably get blamed. And she came for Candace, Candace didn't do anything.
Starting point is 01:04:22 In the video, you see Candace, someone throws something at her or something and she grabs a bottle off the table. Candace grabs a bottle and gets ready to swing it, but then they're like, Candace, don't, she's like, okay, like she gets a hold of herself and does not swing the bottle. But even if she had, justified. I mean, who does that? Who fucking does that? And you're also at someone else's job. This is not your job, ma'am. I mean, nice try, but get the fuck out of here. Messy Ashley trying again. Get better people to, get better agents of mess, Ashley. And honestly, it's not your job.
Starting point is 01:04:55 You're at someone else's job, Deborah. And if you wanted to make it your job, you would have done it when the cameras were on. Yeah, dummy. You really messed it up. You really messed it up. You really messed it up, Deborah. Like, we really needed something to look forward to,. You really messed it up. You really messed it up. You really messed it up.
Starting point is 01:05:07 We really needed something to look forward to and you really messed it up for us, okay? Well, yeah, we've been looking forward to this the whole season and this is it. It's like not even lead up. It's just some B string tries to go for it and fails miserably. It's like you wait an entire season to watch Hollywood Week
Starting point is 01:05:24 or not even Hollywood Week on American Idol, like the prelim rounds, you know what I mean? Just watching people bomb. Like, we didn't need to wait the whole season for this, Debra. You suck, get Debra off the TV, boo, Debra, boo. But again, it also speaks to the failure of the whole season that like here in the final stretch,
Starting point is 01:05:42 they had to, first they brought in Jaclyn to try to like spice things up last week and that didn't do anything. So now they brought Deborah this week. So they're trying, they're trying to throw anything at the wall. They're trying anything except anything useful. It's just kind of ironic that somebody who's been called Sesame Street so many times still can't read. The sadness, the sadness. Goodbye, Deborah. RIP, Deborah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks for watching. Assuming next week is the season finale, we will be back for that. Thanks so much for being with us. Go get tickets for our LA show and our European shows and videos and bonuses and all that
Starting point is 01:06:19 over at watchwhatcrappens.com. We will talk to you next time. Bye! Hitchells! Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-lis. She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber! Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing! Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristin the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches!
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