Watch What Crappens - #2359 RHOP: The Muppet Blow
Episode Date: March 18, 2024Real Housewives of Potomac offers up a fashion show with fashions that could only have been designed by Ashley and Gizelle, and a muppet from the past comes back to fight with Candiace. Grab ...tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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What the crap happens?
What the crap happens?
What the crap happens?
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens?
What the crap happens?
What the crap happens?
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens?
Well hello and welcome to What the Crap Enz,
a podcast for all that crap we love to
talk about on your bros. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.
Hi Ronnie. How are you?
Good. Happy Monday.
Happy Monday. Happy Monday.
Are you excited to be back?
I'm very excited. Why would I not be more than at tip top excitement today. Are you excited? Yeah, thrilled.
Everybody, welcome to the show.
It is Monday.
Very excited.
Very excited because the Bravo schedule has changed,
which puts us back in the land of real housewives
of Potomac.
Now listen, Potomac's one of our favorite shows overall.
They've had a stinker of a season.
We all know it.
You know, I won't sit here and harp on it,
but it has been nice taking a break from Potomac. But man, we came back at quite an episode because
it's very dramatique at the end. But before we get to any of that stuff, we are going to do
a live show in LA in a couple of months in May for the Netflix is a Joke Comedy Festival. You
don't have to buy a festival pass for that. So if you're in LA, just come, it's gonna be super fun.
It's a smaller house, so we're just gonna hang out
with you guys and have a good time for that whole night.
And it's in Hollywood, so it's easy.
And you get the tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com.
Also, we're gonna be doing our European stint
in London, Birmingham, and Dublin.
And that's gonna be at the end of May.
And so you can get tickets for
that also, guess where? Watch at crappens.com. That's also where you'll find links to our Patreon,
which is where you can get this video. Hi. And also our bonus episodes. Who knows what we're
going to do this week? We just don't know. Probably a trailer for something I would imagine.
Pete Slauson Probably.
Jared Slauson Jersey. I don't know. Something that's coming up. But this week here at Crappens
has changed because we're back to Potomac. We're back to below deck this week. We've got a new show
coming out called The Valley, which is Bravo's spin-off of Vanderpump Rules to showcase Jax
and Kristen and all the people they fired before and canceled. So it's the zombie Bravo
undead, it's the undead version of Bravo.
And we're gonna be here with that this week as well.
So what's the whole week?
Come on back, okay?
Yeah, it's gonna be a fun time.
And then today, of course, as you mentioned,
we're gonna be diving back into Potomac.
Let's see, what have we missed
since the last time we did an episode?
They went on a trip.
Where are they? They went to Dominican Republic, right? No. Where have total brain fog today. I had very vicious, uh, uh,
I said brain poisoning, food poisoning. So I'm like,
I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again.
I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again.
I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again.
I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again.
I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to do this again. I'm going to have to apologize the audience ahead of time. I have total brain fog today. I had very vicious, I said brain poisoning, food poisoning.
So I'm like depleted of liquids and therefore I am just like
trying my best to formulate senses.
So I apologize if things come out of my mouth
that make zero sense.
Well, I think we're all used to it by now.
We're a couple of dodo birds who, no matter
what's going on on our insides, we've got constant diarrhea of the mouth, okay?
That's true.
We don't know what's coming out of us. So, I think the audience is going to be just fine.
I don't like that.
Okay, so let's go to Real Housewives of Potomac. Now, here's the funniest thing to me about
this show. They are the biggest offenders in this.
All of the Housewives shows say hello.
I mean, that is really one of the, it's bigger than vagina waxing, which by the way, we got
some vagina lasering last week, so I'd like to thank you guys for that as well.
But all of the Housewives do these certain plots, right?
Like the vagina lasering, the whatever.
One of the biggest things that they do that makes us crazy is the hellos, where they have nothing else going on. So they just say hello for 10 minutes.
And that is so this episode, it was not the episode with them saying hello. It's like,
okay, we're going bowling. Oh, Mia's coming in. Mia's in slow motion in like a dress that's the
color of slacks. And then she comes in and everyone's like,
Mia, oh my, Mia, you look so pretty.
Hi, hi ladies, hi girls.
And then maybe there might be some commentary
about like Mia came in looking like she was ready
to party tonight.
And then it's like, then you have like five different people
weighing in, like when Mia parties,
she just parties really hard. Yeah, she's like a bit of a partier. Yeah, she's like, different people weighing in. Like when Mia parties, she just parties really hard.
Yeah, she's like a bit of a partier.
Yeah, she's like, she parties a lot.
And you're like, wow, it's been 15 minutes
and all that's happened is Mia's walking.
Literally today they didn't even do those little lines.
It was just like, look, it's Mia, hi Mia.
And then, it's Robin getting out of a car,
walking very slow.
Oh my God, it's Robin, hi Robin, hi girl. Hi Robin, you look so pretty. Oh my God, it's Robin. Hi Robin. Hi girls.
Hi Robin, you look so pretty.
Oh my God, you look so pretty too.
You guys, Giselle's coming in.
Da na na na na.
Slow motion Giselle coming in
in some terrible outfit of the day.
Oh my God, Giselle.
Giselle.
You know there are-
Oh my God, literally for five minutes
and then they do it in the next scene
and then they do it in the next scene and then they do it in the next scene
Oh my fire everybody just fire everybody at this point
You know that they were really stretching for content when they even gave Shasha a slow-motion walk into the restaurant
I was like, are we really having a slow-motion Shasha walk right now actually been that was pretty rude because that was just Shasha's walk
It was just her walking. It's just very, very slowly. Her
it was on her hoverboard. That's a joke that upon that upon it. This season, I'm going to have a champagne womb and a hoverboard. Hey girls.
Well, Fatha did have a crab boil last week on the show. So there was an unseasoned crab boil. Unseasoned.
Congrats. Congrats on your shitty crab boil. That was the shittiest crab boil. I mean,
you could taste how bad that crab was. You could just look at people's faces and be like, wow,
what a disappointing boil, ma'am.
Yeah, that really is true.
I did enjoy, she did slam the table last week
because she was trying really hard to get Candace and Robin
to mend their rift.
And I just liked, was it Gisele who was like,
we've got to do something to make sure
Sharice stops banging tables.
They showed like a montage of Sharice banging tables.
That was funny.
Sharice just gets drunk and comes in and slams on tables.
That's her thing.
Okay, so today,
oh, another thing that's happened
that's leading up to today's episode
is Sharice and Ashley having a fashion line.
One of the funniest fucking things I've ever heard.
I mean, cause they notoriously are both terrible
at fashion, you know?
Right.
But since most of this stuff does seem to be Alibaba type,
so I mean, they have a designer there,
so not taking anything away from him,
but since Ashley's life seems to be Alibaba,
you know, she loves that.
And I respect a girl or a boy, really. I respect anybody who loves a bargain. I'm an old Navy game
myself. So I respect the Alibaba game personally. But it's just funny that these two out of all
of the people on this show get a fashion line. Yikes. I know. I mean, I think that is the joke
of it. I think they probably set them up for that being like, okay, this will be a total disaster. Because it's these two. But anyway,
yeah, they have that because they're gonna have a fashion show later this episode. So
the episode opens up with Wendy FaceTiming her producer. She's really nervous because
she's gonna be shooting finally the pilot for her talk show that she's been talking about all season long.
Her YouTube show.
It's very scary guys.
You know, Ben actually had to talk me off a ledge
before we did this today.
So I was like, Ben, I'm so scared to go on YouTube.
It's gonna happen.
He's like, honey, you can do it.
I'm like, yeah, if we spent the entire 50K, Ben,
if we spent the entire 50K.
Ronnie, get out of bed, we're gonna do this.
It's very-
I've hardly held my hand until I could get it together
to come here and here I am.
I've coaxed you, I coaxed you out here.
I said, listen, Patti LuPone is waiting for you.
And you're like, fine, I will show up for Patti.
And then I had to break it to Ronnie
that Patti LuPone was never here in the first place.
Which is why I'm about to tell you Karen and
Ray go to the heart doctor. Can we can we set up all the scenes by doing that please?
That was great. And now to introduce the next scene, Miss Patty LePone. You have this
chlorine calcium score. It was bad last time, it was scary last time,
but it's better this time.
You've got no calcium, no calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium.
No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. No calcium. So, they go to their doctor, Dr. Jack Flyer, who I presume Karen picked because he's eye
candy, because that's how Karen operates. Which, by the way, last week my fence blew
down because I live in the country and that's just shit you say. Hey, man, you know what
happened to me today? My fence blew down.
Is that when I was there?
No.
It was a week before.
Oh.
So, I guess two weeks ago. I'm sure I told, remember I was staring at him, we were
talking about it on the show, I was staring at him out the window as he was working, like,
a total perv.
Jared Yes, yes, yes.
Pete Oh my God, look at that handsome guy. I heard a handsome guy off TaskRabbit, what
a fucking tool that guy was. I mean, you should see the fence. He was like, we should brace
this fence. I thought he meant with cement. He put a big triangle taller than the fence down there and now I have a big
triangle hanging off the fence. My point is don't hire people for the eye candy. Look at their
resumes first, guys. Resumes are important. So Dr. Jack Flyer, I mean, who knows? Who knows what the,
maybe Karen is full of plaque, but Jack Flyer is an eye candy doctor with bad diagnoses and readings of tests.
Well, didn't she want to fuck the pilot too,
that she took, remember when she took Raven
to the pilot school?
That's where she started the eye candy thing.
Yeah, season two.
Oh, look, it's eye candy.
Hello to the pilot, eye candy.
And now she's at Dr. Jack Flier.
I mean, Ray, can you read signs, Ray?
Because your wife's fucking this doctor.
Maybe she thought she was gonna be getting like a heart test
by the guy who plays Jack Reacher.
You know that big guy?
That's that big guy that's like on all the talk shows
right now, just being big and muscular.
That guy's so cute.
What is that guy's name?
Because I keep getting those shows confused.
Jack Reacher and then what's the other one?
Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then is Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then what's the other one? Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan, and then there's Jack Reacher,
Jack Ryan, and then what's the Keanu Reeves one?
John Wick.
And then there's also John Carter.
Well, John Carter.
Yeah, John Wick and John Carter are different.
There's like Reacher, and then there's the other one
on Amazon Prime with the guy from The Office.
That's Jack Ryan.
The guy who's like a badass.
It's Jack Ryan and Jack Reacher.
But Jack Reacher, the Jack Reacher guy, Alan Richardson,
he was on American Idol.
And I'm like, you may be all big and muscular
and an action star now, but I remember,
you can secretly sing.
He made it to Hollywood.
Is he good?
Well, I remember.
He has a face that he smells something
really stinky in the morning.
Yeah.
He was like, ugh.
He's unhappy about something.
I feel like I saw him at
Waukino once, which I know sounds. And non ironically, too. You were walking, you know,
ironically, but Alan Richson was not. I've never gone to Waukino voluntarily. I'll tell
you that much. And I feel like I was there and he was there. Like, I don't know why.
I just feel like whenever I think of Alan Richson, I think of Joaquino. So I think I saw him. I remember going to
a party once there. Now that I think I went to the opening of a Joaquino once, I went
to the opening of the Joaquino in Century City and I think he was at that party.
Well, there you go. Of course. Makes perfect sense. Of course, Alan Richson was at the
opening of the Joaquino. If anyone doesn't know what guacano is, it's exactly what it sounds like.
Like a very generic Asian fusion restaurant, like a local chain here in Los Angeles.
He's very cute, this Alan Richson. I think he's going to go somewhere. I love his smelly fart
face. He's going to make it. Okay, so this doctor tells Karen, okay, we know that your whole season has been about calcium,
5% calcium. But guess what? Your calcium score is good. And she just purses her lips. And she's like,
great. Well, I told that calcium, I am the calcium.
I feel like we missed some good Karen Huger joke when you're telling the story about your fence guy.
Oh, you're right.
Not in the fence.
You'd want me to ride the fence.
I did ride the fence.
I actually did.
You put a triangle on me.
Finally I rode the fence.
I don't know what it means to put a triangle on me,
but you put one on me and I don't like it.
You don't know what that means.
It means like when they're making a brace,
so they put a triangle, so it goes up against the fence,
you screw it into the fence,
and then it's put into the ground. So it's like bracing
it but like, dude, eventually someone has to buy this house, you can't sell it with
a big fucking triangle brace on the side of the, fix the fence, dude. You know what I
mean?
Fucking popsicle sticks to it.
Dude, you gotta sell this house, dude.
Yes, that's how you have to talk to handymen because they're generally very big straight guys. So you have to suddenly I'm like this, hey, it's like I call a task, so it's tough, dude. But yes, that's how you have to talk to handymen, because they're generally very big straight
guys.
You have to suddenly I'm like this, hey, it's like I call task, grab it, and I become more
manly.
And I'm like, hey, bro.
All right, here's the problem with defense.
You know what, bro?
I trust you.
I trust you.
I'm going to be inside.
Just send me a shoot me a text when you're done.
I'm sure it's all going to be great.
And then he did send me a text when he's done.
And I'm like, why do I trust people?
I trust anyone who's straight acting because I'm like, they're manlier than me.
And if I say anything that is gonna offend their masculinity
or any shade of doubt, they're gonna throw keys at me
and I'm gonna have to catch.
And this is the most terrifying thing.
So I'm like, oh yeah.
I know, it's fun.
One of the perks about visiting Ronnie in Texas
is that I get to see him code switch a lot.
Amongst all the straight Texas people.
Like I forget where it was. We were like, thanks man. And I was like, oh yeah, yeah Ronnie, do it. I mean, we switch a lot. When he amongst all the straight Texas people, like I forget where it was.
We were like, thanks man.
And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, Ronnie do it.
I mean, we all do it.
That's part of-
Well, I'm very straight when I'm not talking
about Bravo Ben.
I'm very, I'm very hetero acting.
I'm very hetero normative when I'm not recording about-
I like to think I'm that way too,
but sometimes I hear a recording of me
and I am Sassy McSasserson.
So I think I lost my code switch.
Okay, so next Ashley is getting ready
for her big GNA fashion show,
which by the way, went to the website.
Still nothing is up there.
They've got a couple of them, Kenzie's Child's,
Christmas ornaments and a couple of shirts that say GNA,
which somehow looks like Gran, the way that they've
written it, because it says GNA right next to each other over and over. And it looks like it says
Gran. I'm sorry, you guys do better, like make an effort. At least, how could you have this huge
platform and you're coming out with all of this shit, you're not making any of this stuff, how
are you not selling it? I would have bought something. I didn't only go to the site to mock you people. I went to buy that cute pink Mylar jacket thing
that they had there.
I thought I would look really cute in that.
And it's not for sale.
Okay, but you can't buy a shirt that says Gran
a hundred times when you think it.
Yeah, it surprises me why, like they've had a lot of time to get this together.
Like how do you not have your website available to take orders?
I don't, I don't understand this.
So Ashley's working on that and she's talking about how, she's like, well, the time has
finally come for everyone to see GNA in action.
And it has been months of stressing and designs and not really being a real fashion designer. Just talking about it on TV and
Then we see six weeks ago. They're like talking about it
About like what they're gonna, you know do and everything and then we come and then we see like five weeks ago
they're picking up fabrics and then
you know
Being designers being fashionistas, if you will. Yeah. They're very like, designers, we have five more minutes. Hi, Stitch! Like running
around a room of fabric. And then we meet the actual designer Desmond, who I was impressed
that they gave Desmond some credit, you know? And Desmond was like, guys, we need advice on this.
Okay, so I just want advice.
We're going to flare out the bottom, right?
Yes, yes, we are going to flare out.
That's a quid, that's not a quid.
Just nod your heads.
Yes, we are going to flare out the bottom.
Because you know Desmond did all of this stuff.
Now should he be proud of it?
Desmond, I need some breathable materials if this is workout clothes.
I don't work out, but from what I've heard about it,
you need, your skin needs to breathe. You have to be putting mylar balloons on people as an outfit. Sure. Yeah. Um, I would not be surprised if the reason there's no designs on the site is the age
old tale that Desmond didn't get paid and now he's taking all the designs for himself. And it's a big
fight because it's always the fashion designers on these shows.
It's always the two bit fashion designer
who gets sold a bill of fame goods and then winds up,
you know, getting crushed by the machine
and takes the designs and leaves.
And then there's always a thing of like,
well, everything was going well,
but the designer just lost his mind and ran away.
I mean, this is what always happens. Well, I guess we're, I guess we can tell, but the designer just lost his mind and ran away. I mean, this is what
always happens. Well, I guess we're, I guess we can tell, but you know what? Desmond already made
the clothes. You can't make him in charge of your shop, right? Or whatever they, what's it called?
The shop, shop well, or whatever the online shopping thing is, the self-serve shopping,
Shopify. You know, Desmond can't do everything for you guys. No, he can't.
You know, Desmond can't do everything for you guys. No, he can't.
Fucking hell.
Fuck Desmond.
Jesus, leave the man alone.
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So next we go to Neckah and her man to do sperm retrieval, which is one of the most
awkward sperm retrievals I've ever seen. I have to give her credit. She hasn't made
much of a splash on this show, no pun intended.
But the sperm retrieval might just save her ass
because wow, I'm never gonna forget it.
I know.
So basically they are gonna be doing some insemination
because there was some talk over the past few episodes
that like Ike wasn't really in favor of insemination
because it's looked down upon in Nigerian culture, yada, yada, yada. Uh, but, but now he's like, okay, I'm down.
So she's like, so do I get to help them? Do I get to help them, uh, do this?
Like, yeah, sure. And they're like, just,
just know you can't use saliva or lubricants to do this.
So it's basically like no blow jobs. Okay. And then if you're doing a handy,
it's gotta be a dry handy
or saliva. Oh no, it can't be saliva. I literally just said that.
So they go in for what's supposed to be a sexy time of extracting the sperm and instead it's just like full of confusion and shuffling.
And we just see all the sound people who are listening in just cracking up
outside the door.
Yeah. Cause you have to live to,
you have to sit there and listen to someone banging
the bathroom. That's so weird. You know? And I like that they open the door and she's
like, it's just a bathroom. What the fuck did you expect? Like a, a bed that shakes
when you put quarters into it. You're at a fucking doctor's office. Couldn't they do
this at home? Like, wouldn't you just give people like a little ice chest and like a
cup and be like a jerk off at home?
Why do they have to jerk off in your office?
It's very creepy.
We're in a period of time where I feel like people
should be like, you know what, if our business model
is asking people to come in and literally jerk off
in our office, I think we need to rethink that.
Because people need to feel safe.
People need to feel safe. People need to feel safe.
How many people over the past five years
have been fired for jerking off in their office?
And now here you go and people are like,
you have to jerk off in this office
if you ever want your dreams achieved.
The hell, isn't that how we got into this mess?
So they are futzing around trying to, they, they, after like 15 minutes, he finally comes
into a cup or something. And now it's time to do the insemination. So they go through the process.
Ike, Ike actually does the ultrasound because he's a doctor and they look at you see the sperm sort of dancing around and
stuff and you know the glories of modern medicine happen unfurl before our eyes
watching the sperm dance around it was like the opening credits of look who's talking okay it was
a bunch of sperm uh going through fallopian tubes tubes to the tune of the Beach Boys. Actually,
they don't go through the fallopian tubes, they just go.
They just go.
I don't know how that works, to be honest. Really, the only time I was educated on that
properly, because I went to Christian school, so they're like, Jesus does it, you know? You pray
to Jesus and then a baby comes out. So, I don't really understand until I saw the movie, Look,
Who's Talking, where they have the opening of the sperm traveling through whatever it goes through,
the freeways or whatever, to get there. So, that's how I learned. So, I just saw this.
I just, it looked like a bunch of little bugs to me. I will say that Modern Miracle to me
was watching Ike just come in like two seconds on demand. Like, they were like, come, and he's like,
done. What the fuck do you do that? I mean, to even like, come. And he's like, done. What
the fuck do you do that? I mean, to even get to the point where that's an option for me.
I have to helicopter, tap dance, pray, beg, plead, offer it money. Girl, open some ice
cream.
Pete Slauson It's a lot of, it's a dramatic experience
for you. It's a lot. It's a lot harder than just going like, okay, the end, the baby.
Listen, Ike is a machine. All right. So now we go over to Mia and Gordon. They're going to go,
have another therapy session. I'm not sure about this therapist. I have to say, I'm not sure about
her. So they go and the therapist is like, so how's everything been for you all?
And she's like, interesting to say the least.
And Goren was like, I mean, I've been perfect, of course.
The therapist is like,
perfection is impossible to achieve.
So I know that's false.
Like, yeah, he was very obviously joking therapist.
Yeah, I feel like nobody goes to this therapist
because her office is so tiny and obviously
next to the Xerox machine, you know what I mean? Like she's earning her way back from
being in trouble or something. I bet you like maybe fucked one of the patients. I don't
know what her deal is, but she's obviously had some kind of issues.
Are people banging next door like, oh yeah, that's the insemination office.
I did something. I was late one too many times and I got sent to the office right next to the
insemination bathroom. I've actually just rented some free space in the insemination office.
Knock, knock, knock. No saliva, you two. I can hear you.
It's not even my job to tell them that, but at No saliva, you two, I can hear you. It's not even my job to tell them that,
but at this point, you know,
might as well help where I can.
I'm just rooting for him at the end of the day.
Okay, so they go through therapy.
This is super awkward because here's this relationship
we've watched for now, what, three years.
Meem basically admits she's been with this guy for his money.
She met him at the strip club and, you know,
he was out there shelling out $10,000
for a few minutes with her.
And like, who wouldn't want to marry that?
You know what I mean?
So it's a little gross, okay?
But at the end of the day, he's a supporter.
They get along fine.
But I think it's easy to be like, well, whatever.
You just married him for his money.
Now that the money's gone.
This is very disturbing to actually watch because I've come to like Mia over the years,
you know? And I kind of like Gordon. And this whole thing is very disturbing. I don't really
like it. I don't like that she threatened to leave so he drained her bank account. And
it just seems like a scarier situation. Like she's just in this situation because she's scared.
I mean, I don't know.
Mia's storylines are usually somewhat light and fun.
And-
Yeah, like when her story about being a foster child
and growing up around drugs and-
That's true.
She really is just a light and fun.
No, you're right.
But I guess she's a light and fun. No, you're right.
But I guess she's a light and fun person
with more serious backgrounds.
Right, there's more, she always seems like
she's just like a kind of a reality star
doing stupid stuff and then she actually
has serious stuff going on.
The whole thing with Gordon.
Takes me off guard, is what I'm saying.
The whole thing with Gordon draining the bank account was alarming,
but also fully in line with the sort of behavior I'd expect from someone who essentially buys his wife.
So I'm not saying that makes it okay, but it's consistent with, yep,
Gordon's done a good job lately of being like, I'm just sweet Gordon.
But I don't know, I've always thought Gordon was a creep,
to be honest.
So Mia's saying, well, I think that there's talk
about the D word and Gordon's like,
what's the D word, divorce?
Oh, it's never my consideration.
Cause he's doing that thing where he's all nice in therapy.
He's like being all sweet and lovely in couples therapy.
And she's like, well, I think I said this in my session
last time I was here with you and I'm like committed
to Gordon through thick and thin, but not through porness.
So when I see counsel for divorce,
it's cause I just wanted to weigh out like all my options
and see if there's like other like wealthy men
I could like marry and stuff like that.
And they talk about intimacy and basically,
they seem to have kind of an open relationship. I guess we're going to get into this later on
this season from the previews. By the way, how long is this season?
I feel like next, it feels like next episode's got to be the last one because they tied up,
they were tying up all sorts of loose ends this episode. It had a very
season like penultimate episode feel to it.
Okay, well fingers crossed.
But she was saying, in the preview,
we see that they are in a fight about her having an affair
or something, but it seems from this,
like they have some kind of open relationship
because she's saying, well,
he's got a problem with intimacy.
And so we find out that he doesn't wanna bang a lot.
And so she's allowed,
but they make it sound like she's allowed
to go outside the marriage, right?
Cause he's like, I've told you, you know,
I'm okay with you needing a different kind of intimacy
than I can give you,
but you're not giving me the kind of intimacy that I need.
Like when she comes to bed,
she's just on her phone looking at social media
or doing something.
Well, you know what?
That is intimacy to some of us.
Okay?
What the hell?
That is my kind of thing.
If you want to talk to me,
like something on Twitter.
How about that?
Follow me on Instagram.
Unfollow me so that I can get all upset about it
and then follow me again.
So I'll notice you.
Okay?
It's called love.
And she's like,
I'm not asking you to change. I just want you to be the man that I met.
That's all, you know, wealthy.
So this is when she talks about how she's like, you know, over the past few years,
there's been a lot of things to strain their marriage. She went through a health scare,
financial difficulties with the family and business, and they're just not on the same page
when it comes to their goals and what the future looks like.
And she was just praying that like over the course
of the next year, they can get to some sort of understanding.
Yeah, and you know, it's Mia.
So you don't know what to take,
because Mia's full of crap, as we all know.
So you don't really know how it's being framed,
but I want to see more.
And I can't wait to see
who she cheated with.
I'm assuming the rapper guy, right?
I'm assuming so.
I mean, didn't she say she just got some good D, right?
Doesn't she say that later in the episode,
like sort of implying it was not Gordon's D?
Yeah, well, you know, to me, Ash,
how dare you accuse me of,
I just got some good D from someone in the industry.
I would never, I'm not a stripper.
Well, I met him at the strip club.
Right.
Yeah.
Or her, I had a health scare last season,
her thing last season, her almost, her health scare.
And we can, it's a good story.
What are you gonna do?
So then this, basically this relationship is doomed. So the therapist
is just kind of watching them talk and Gordon's like, I feel like a plague. Well, Gordon,
you know, I mean, that's what happens when people who had magic no longer have magic.
Okay. You were hot because you had money. Now you don't have money and you're less
hot. You still get everything you married her for.
So sorry, go get your magic back. That's what I have to say to you.
Call Hogwarts.
The therapist makes Gordon turn and like hold Mia's hands
and look into her eye.
And like the therapist is like,
I want you to focus on your wife and share with her
what you need from her.
I'm like, what sort of therapy is this?
This is like some frigging like Dr. Phil Montell Williams,
Jenny Jones.
This is like afternoon talk show kind of therapy right now.
This is not what's gonna heal them with their issues.
And so he does his whole spiel that I think you just said.
And she's like,
I need you to make time for me.
I need you to be willing to listen to me
and not make me feel like an afterthought.
Get a job, Gordon, okay?
That's what you need to do.
You need to get a job.
Right now, this is not about your fee-fees, okay?
Go get a job.
And the therapist says like,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I'm sorry that couch is so small,
but maybe a little more space between you.
You guys, I can hear gum chewing in there.
No gum chewing.
You do not want a baby covered in bubble gum.
So speaking of therapy,
we now go over to Candace's house
where she is going to meet up with the one,
the only Dr. Ken.
He's back.
He's back.
He's really been such an effective therapist.
I mean, look at Candace.
Look how far he's back. He's really been such an effective therapist. I mean, look at Candace, look how far she's come. She's gone from crying that her mom hit her in the head with a bag to...
That clip kills me every single time.
My mother thought that would be appropriate in that situation was to take her purse and
situation was to take her purse and hit me in the head with it.
Man, that's a clipboard.
You put the clipboard down.
Fucking Candace.
Also, who else has he been the therapist for?
Um, is it just Candace?
I feel like he's done some, someone on Baton.
I'm sorry, on Atlanta.
I can't remember.
Cause there's Dr. Ken, but then there's also Dr. Jeff, right?
Right.
But I think Dr. Jeff was the one who was like,
Meanie, Meanie.
Dr. Ken was, Dr. Ken famously is with the,
another success story, Drew Sedora and Ralph.
There we go, yeah, Drew Sedora.
I'm surprised he's not on the cover of, you know, Psychiatrist Weekly,
which is definitely a magazine.
Yeah, so he's here. And you know, this is an episode that really wants to teach people
that if you have problems, just pretend to go to therapy a couple of times a year for a storyline. Because these people have quite obviously never been to therapy except
for storylines. And Dr. K doesn't even try to hide it because Candace is like, here's
what's going on with me. And then she unloads everything that's been happening in the past,
ever since she saw him last time. Therapy does not work when you just go one time, okay?
They can't fix every, that's why I stopped going. Once they told me you have to commit to it,
that's when I was like, bye, I'm not coming to this.
I told you my problem was commitment issues
and now you're telling me I have to commit in therapy?
The fuck kind of program is this?
You obviously know nothing, bye.
So, Candice was like, yeah, we were talking about
starting the process of having a kid
at the beginning of last year.
And I started working on new music and that pushed it.
Then some things happen.
And we see a flashback of how she had some lumps in her breast from a mammogram.
And she's, she's Candice is like, yeah,
I'm saying to myself and my husband that I need to stop thinking that I,
I think that I can't do multiple things at once that she's basically like you
said, just, just dropping everything on Dr.
Ken right now.
And she's what she's played with all sorts of anxieties and insecurities about
becoming a mom.
Did she wait too long?
Was she too ambitious and wanted to do 5000 things before motherhood and
potentially uprooting my plans to become a mom at all.
Like, oh, that's going through my mind and it's an unpleasant place to be.
Yeah, she's like, I wonder sometimes if I'm using my career as an excuse to not have a baby.
Is your mom, is Dorothy threatening to not pay for any more gigs at the City Winery?
Cause that's what I'm getting from this.
I think Dorothy is like,
Candace, I will pay for two more gigs with your band.
And so she's like, okay, I'm ready to have a baby now.
Yeah.
Well, Dr. Ken's like, well, are you gonna let fear
rob you of motherhood?
Because it sounds like that in some ways.
That's what you're doing right now.
You can ask what's the most important thing to you at this stage today?
What do you really want?
So then Candace is fully the cry angle comes out and she's like,
I think that's, I think that's what it is.
Like I want a baby.
I want a child.
I think about this like all the time. All the time.
Ah!
Oh, Candace, that's not true. I mean, I'm not saying she doesn't want a child, but I
think your real answer is a Grammy. Like, let's not...
Grammy as a child.
She wants a child named Grammy. I mean, I don't know. Does she want to give birth to
a Grammy? You do not want a child over a Grammy. I don't believe you. Okay, just say the Grammy.
Okay. And she's like, I don't deserve to be a mother. Well, I don't believe you. Okay, just say the Grammy. Okay.
And she's like, I don't deserve to be a mother. Well, I don't know if you've been to a food court
lately, but that's not a prerequisite. Yeah, I'm about to say the bar is very low in terms
of deserving to be a mother. I don't know if you've checked out a carpool line lately, but
I don't know if you've seen any of the Real Housewives before, but
I don't know if you watch your network. the real housewives before, but... I don't know if you watch your network.
But there are a lot of people that didn't deserve to be mothers and guess what they
raised reality stars.
Yeah.
So, you know, she's talking about that.
And he's like, well, you know, I think you're ready.
And she's like, me too.
I can't wait to tell Chris.
So then everybody meets in a bar.
So this is the 10 minutes of hellos
that I was cracking up about before.
I mean, literally went on forever.
This went on for so long.
They are showing up, it goes on and on and on
and on and on.
And so they are gathering around and Mia's like,
everyone have a seat, welcome to the party, I know your party's
on Friday Gisele.
And Gisele's like, yes, Gia Nia is coming together, Mia girl, is she explaining what
we're doing?
Mia's like, so I told you, I told you ladies that I met with the editor of a magazine.
And then we see that she met with someone named Will Walters,
who is the editor of Monarch magazine, which I feel like
did we ever encounter Monarch magazine before?
Or am I just thinking of Nobleman from Orange County?
I don't know.
Well, either way, Will Walters, he runs this magazine,
and it's a local magazine in the DMV area,
and he wanted to discuss an opportunity
to do this iconic spread,
representing the women who are trailblazers.
So naturally, you turn to Mia.
Which is why they called Mia.
I love them showing the meeting with him,
the initial meeting with him and Mia, where he's like, I want women who
are on the forefront of things.
I want women up here and things up here and just women getting things and women on the
forefront just winning things.
And he's like, so naturally you called me.
I wanted to crack
the back through my husband. Did a great job on the living room remodel of a rental, which
was also a great business decision that's paid off recently. Anything else? He's like,
yes. And I want you to dress like Dorothy Dandridge. Oh, okay. Okay. With the rest of the cast of The Housewives
of Real Housewives of Potomac. So she gathers everybody and she tells them that they're
going to have this photo shoot for this magazine about pioneer black women and, or famous black,
I don't know, pioneer makes it sound like Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, like people
are coming in on the wagon. I don't mean it like that, but like, you know, really famous black women that came before them. And it looks like
a really good photo shoot, actually. Like they all get to, actually, Ashley is Dorothy Dandridge
and looks beautiful. And she has her hair in her testimonial. At least her movie hair.
Pete So, everyone gets to do this photo shoot, except NECA. Mia basically is like, yeah,
I actually let her know that she's not included in this opportunity.
And we see that she's basically tells NECA like,
yeah,
it's just you're so new and you don't have any direct ties in the community.
And,
and,
but I told him like,
she will,
she will.
But like,
oh,
well,
I'm like,
this is,
this is basically,
they weren't sure if Nekko was gonna be just like
a friend of or a full-fledged cast member,
and they were thinking friend of,
so they just were like, you can't be part of this.
I think Mia was just pulling a power move, don't you?
Because I don't think Will cares.
I don't think Will cares about who he was.
Do you think the leader of Monarch Magazine
is really like, oh, you know what, we have to be picky.
I mean, we just have to be picky. I don't think we can have one extra Real Housewife at our
photo shoot.
It is a weird, it was a weird thing. I don't know why ties to the Potomac community are
so important for a photo shoot. Yeah.
Yeah, I think that Mia was power tripping on that one. But who knows, you know, but
she's like, don't worry.
Once your storyline about jerking your husband off
in a bathroom next to a therapist's office airs,
you're gonna be on the cover of every magazine in town.
Well, you made the child go to grand dom school
and now you don't even let her do the photo shoot.
Well, she took it very well.
So now Will enters and says hi to them all.
And they each have like little binders,
which shows who they're going to be dressed as, et cetera.
So we find out that Candice is gonna be Diana Ross,
which is cool.
And then Giselle is Beyonce,
and Karen is Lena Horne.
Oh, I love Lena Horne, yes.
I am the Horne.
I like that they gave Karen the aging one,
even though every one of these people is a historical figure
and they've all aged and died by now.
Still Lena Horne. In my memory, died by now. Still Lena Horne.
In my memory, every time I think of Lena Horne,
it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just like an older lady.
Like what did she used to be on when we were kids?
She would be a guest star on, was it The Muppets?
Look it up.
I don't remember.
I think she appeared on the Cosby Show a few times.
I'm gonna put Lena Horne Muppets and see if it was her.
What was the name of the lady?
Stormy Weather. Oh, Sesame Street is what I would see her on.
Commercials, here comes one right now.
Yeah, Karen's Lena Horne, Ashley is Dorothy Dandridge, Mia is Pam Grier, and Wendy is
Cheryl Lee Ralph.
Yeah, and Robin is Mariah Carey.
I feel like that's the biggest stretch.
That was a bit of a stretch.
It was a bit of a stretch. But you know, hey, it could all work.
I guess.
So they do this whole thing.
And that's exciting.
So then we go over to Robin and she's doing,
Robin and Juan are meeting with a realtor at a commercial space
for her Glow 30 franchise.
I had forgotten that Robin actually is interested
in opening up a Glow, like a, it's like a,
it's like a, how do you describe,
it's not a med spa, but it's like a place.
She describes it, it's a membership facial facility.
Oh, it is a facility, okay.
So you pay a membership and you go get facials.
And you glow for 30 seconds.
Hopefully Ike is working there because he can give you a facial on demand within five
seconds. Yeah, so it's a facial place and she goes in there with Juan and she's like,
okay, here's what I envision, I envision offices there and then rooms there and then a hallway
here. Okay, go outside. And then the realtor is like, okay. And did you notice the realtor just
check Robin on her way out? She like body checked her. She like looked at her outfit
up and down. I was like, excuse me, keep your eye on your own outfit, ma'am. Okay? You're
in no place to judge. You look like, okay, so I have a vision for glow 30 and it was all that I
meant it to be.
I have a vision for glow 30 and it was all that I meant it.
I really am Mariah.
I really am.
Facial, facial come, facial me.
Rub me up, rub me down, clean my pores out. Okay, Robin, thank you.
Got a little too far with Mariah.
All I want for facials is you.
Sweet, sweet facial baby.
Okay, so she sits down and has a talk with Juan and she's like,
Oh my God, this is going to be amazing. And he's reading a, he's like, we can do it. It's going to
be great. And he's reading a slogan on the wall. She's like, wait a minute, did you just read that
slogan on the wall? You're hilarious. And then we see that she's very serious about this.
And you know, guys, because she had a meeting
with Mia and Gordon, where she asked them their opinion.
I was like, is this supposed to lend credence
to this being a good idea?
Because you know what's going on with their business, right?
Yeah, was this when they were doing their pasta class, uh, earlier in the season?
This is one of the best scenes because Mia was like, sound fine.
What about the rumors that you're banging that girl? He's like, Oh,
I don't like talking about that stuff.
So yeah. Um, so they're excited to open up this glow 30 thing. And, uh,
the Robin mentions she's getting a call from Giselle or she gets a good text and
she mentions that, um, Giselle's dad is in the hospital and,
um, uh,
Robin calls and Giselle says that she's hanging in there, et cetera.
And the producer asked Giselle like, Hey,
can you talk about what's happening with your dad? And we can see Giselle's getting ch's hanging in there, et cetera. And the producer asked Giselle, like, hey, can you talk about what's happening with your dad?
And we can see Giselle's getting choked up
and she's like, we can talk about that later.
Ah.
So we find out that he has brain cancer,
which is crazy and so sad, you know?
We love that guy on this show.
Yeah.
So that's sad.
So she's talking about how she's with him and taking care of him,
but they have the GNA launch party coming up. So what's going to happen.
And then we go over to,
I think the business that's probably going to do the best out of all of these
Wendy's YouTube pilot.
Yeah. It's actually what turns out to be pretty good. She, um,
she's it's, it's the day of the, of the shoot. And she's like, I finally made it to the big day. I She she's it's the day of the
shoot. And she's like, I finally made it to the big day. I can't believe it's here. When you're a commentator, you have the
privilege of giving you a five minute take on something and
leaving but when it's your show, the success depends on whether
people tune into me.
Me, Wendy. So then she has gone over her budget, which was 50K.
And then we see, she was like, I am so proud
to be in the situation where I've got myself.
And then we cut to her being like,
Eddie, you're gonna give me $50,000?
Thanks.
And then she's saying, you know,
the theme of my pilot was black girl magic.
So she has April Ryan, who is a White House correspondent for
the griot and Jasmine of the Jasmine brand, and Nikedra
Robinson, who's the CEO of black girls vote, and Lindsay
Granger, who is a host of daily blasts, and then she was on the
view, etc. So she has like a very strong panel of people for
her pilot. And they it looks like by the way, et cetera. So she has like a very strong panel of people for her pilot. And they, it looks
like, by the way, also, they're still using that penthouse or whatever it was, not penthouse, the
townhouse that her friend had brought her to earlier in the season. So they basically, we just-
You know, wonder if that lady's pissed. She's like, wait a minute, you fired me, but you still use
the penthouse I found. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
But it was, we sort of see a montage of them all
kind of like talking, like, you know, about topics.
And it looked actually pretty good.
It looked like it was well shot, good lighting,
good engagement.
So, you know, I'm with you.
This does look like it'd be the most successful thing
to come out of the season.
Well, honestly, I was being sarcastic, but it didn't look terrible. Here's what I will say.
I think it did look good too. I think the production quality and everything looked really
good. Not that I'm a pro, like what the fuck do I not look at our production quality?
Like we're ridiculous. We're just on webcams. I will say on YouTube, she can't spend that much money.
You're like, that's ridiculous.
Having that huge of a staff and all of that
and all of those people there,
that dream's gotta die real quick, okay?
Think that kind of business.
It's the kind of business is slap it together for $5
and throw it out there.
You know how to tiki-taki?
Yeah, also good luck booking four guests
every single episode. Hello.
It is- Yeah, she went really big for these first ones, but, you know, I think once she just, like,
relaxes it and spends less money and just, you know, gets a webcam, she's gonna see a profit.
So then we go to the GNA Fashion Show. Dun-dun-dun.
It's finally here.
What's that?
It's finally here.
The moment we've all been waiting for.
GNA, Gran, the Fashion Show.
Gran, crookah.
So Ashley is getting her hair done.
She's talking to Desmond, and she's
talking about how excited she is for everything.
And Gisele walks in and gives a hug and you know, they're all very warm to her because they
understand what she's been going through. She's been up and down from Atlanta with her dad,
you know, dealing with her dad being in the hospital and everything. And Giselle is just
very thankful that Ashley has picked like, you know, Giselle was not able to really be present for all the stuff with GNA. So she's just been really happy that Ashley has picked, like, you know, Gisele was not able to really be present for all the stuff with GNA.
So she's just been really happy that Ashley has picked up
all the slack and, you know, really risen to the occasion.
Yeah, so she's like, yeah, you know,
I'm really excited to finally have this moment
because I've talked to all the girls about it.
And we get a clip to them on vacation in the van
of Ashley telling Candace and Wendy, like, oh my gosh, we're starting a line and it's going to be athleisure. And Candace
is like, you and Gisele are going to create clothes. And Wendy's like, is this an April Fool's joke?
Like, subscribe. So, they're all really supportive. We know that Ashley's about to get tons of support rolling in off the chain.
And then Ashley and Giselle are getting ready for the show and Karen comes and she's like,
I know there better be some more dance. I know that because I guess what ladies, hold
on everybody. Dr. Flyer has spoken. I am calcium free. Calcium free. I know everybody's been worried about that.
So season's ending, zero calcium.
That's right.
The only plaque that I have is woman of the year, courtesy of Ray.
14 years in a row.
Zero percent plaque, 100% fence.
It's me.
I'm here. It's me. I'm here.
It's me, hi.
I'm the anti-hero for Plack.
It's me.
So Karen is like...
Maybe Plack free, but that doesn't mean
I will not order tartar sauce with these old girls.
Cause now we got bad Plack.
So Karen is, she goes up to Giselle and hugs her and is like very warm and everything. And Giselle is saying there's surgery tomorrow and Karen's,
you know, she's like, just pray tomorrow. Oh, I'm already praying. I started praying when I
found out I had no plaque. I said, if I can't pray for my own plaque, then I will pray for whatever else is happening on in this world. So the praying
has already begun.
So she's actually says some very kind words about Gisele and she's saying how she really
could see that Gisele's been crying and you know, that like, you know, Gisele's been a
real trooper.
So then we get my favorite segment, people arriving. Wendy, da-na-na-na-na.
Slow motion Wendy walking in.
Wendy, oh my goodness, Wendy.
Hi Wendy.
Hi Wendy.
Hi Wendy.
Hi Wendy.
Hey Wendy, you look gorgeous.
Thank you, you also look gorgeous.
Robin showing up.
Da-na-na-na.
Literally another 10 minutes of people squealing hello
at each other.
And walking in.
And then the big surprise of the episode,
Mama Sheila showed up.
And Ashley's like, I thought you weren't gonna come.
And Sheila's like, I wasn't,
but I could never not show up for my daughter.
And you know, Sheila's thinking this is gonna be
a big tear-jerking moment for the audience.
And she's being shot from the back.
Just barely.
They're like, we're in the middle of a people arriving scene, ma'am.
This is the most important sequence of the week, so we're gonna have to keep on going.
This is pretty long.
So, so here comes Candace.
Candace shows up, and then Debra.
Debra's back, everyone.
They're pulling, clearly, this is the point
where the producers realize this season is faltering.
They've realized it a while ago,
but now they're like, we gotta pull out all the stops.
So we're bringing Debra back into the mix.
So Debra is there.
If I pull out all the stops,
we mean do as little as possible.
Bring Ashley's mommy friend from the park over
to literally physically accost somebody.
It's a sad day in Potomac.
Sad day.
So Deborah shows up and Wendy is like, am I surprised that Ashley invited Deborah?
No, Ashley is messy.
So she would welcome and invite the opportunity for her to be here.
So then we see some flashbacks of last season of Deborah starting shit about happy Eddie,
etc. and more hellos, more people coming in.
It doesn't seem to end.
So then we see the muppet go up and say hello to Wendy and Wendy's fake with her and it's
like, Hello, how are you?
And she's like, that was called fakeness right there. Why can't subscribe?
So then it was a whole clip, by the way,
they made it a cliffhanger that when Wendy was talking to a random lady
and then then Deborah comes up to give her a hug, give the lady a hug.
And then she goes in to give Wendy a hug.
It's like goes to commercial, like, what's Wendy going to do?
And when it comes back, Wendy just gives like a little hug and moves on.
I was like, really? That was it?
You may as well wait for that.
Yeah.
They actually freeze framed it and turned everything red.
They're like, turn it on.
We'll be back.
So then everyone, let's see,
they all start to sit down and say hello some more, you know?
And Robin's like, so when are we going to see photos from the shoot?
And they start talking about all the pictures and how good they looked.
And now it's time for the fashion show. Ladies and gentlemen, Ashley and Giselle present
Gram, Gram Fashions. And then the ladies watch this fashion show. Now, here's one thing I will say,
And then the ladies watch this fashion show. Now, here's one thing I will say,
even though we know they had a designer,
I believe that these outfits were designed by these two
because they're terrible.
One of them is a pink Mylar robe
that I actually wanted to buy for myself,
just to say I had it really, not because it was cute.
What did you think of these fashions, Ben?
Oh, terrible.
I didn't like them. I mean, I'm not much of a,
I don't know my athleisure very well.
I don't know what makes for good athleisure,
but for sure I couldn't imagine
any of these being worn to the gym.
But also, by the way,
I felt like I couldn't get like a long enough look
at any of them.
I felt like the editing was annoyingly fast.
I wanted to have some sort of like
true lengthy runway moments. And I felt like the editing was annoyingly fast. I wanted to have some sort of like true
lengthy runway moments. And I was like, I wanted to kind of like soak it in because
it all looks, it all looks so terrible, but I needed to be able to see the terribleness
a little bit longer so I could form some better opinions about it.
Well, they were bad. And here's why we've been set up by some very good fashions, and that
was the She Buy Shiree.
Right, of course.
The She Buy Shiree runway line.
That was actually really good. I mean, none of that ended up being released because as
you mentioned earlier, Shiree didn't pay the guy or whatever, or allegedly didn't pay the
designer or whatever was happening with that. So she ended up only releasing a couple of
things. She herself bought off Alibaba,
but the actual show is really good. I remember.
Yeah. Um, yeah, this one was just, it was chaotic. It was,
it was also like adult felt so rinky dink. It was like,
there were in some sort of suburban bar doing a fashion show.
It just was all kind of sad. I know at one point,
Wendy got really upset because, um, one of the models was wearing an outfit that was like, it was like something tucked into
pants, but it showed like your sides. And she was like, you know what? I wore that and
they made fun of me for wearing that. And now it's in her line. And Wendy was all upset.
But the difference was that then they showed the clip from three, two or three years ago.
And it was right after Wendy had gotten her new boobs,
and they just were all surprised
that Wendy had had a complete change of wardrobe
when she had been more conservative the season before.
And face and body,
because she came back with the most intense season
to glow up of anybody ever.
She had like a new face, new boobs, a mommy body lift,
you know, whatever she did. She did the whole thing.
And Robin was being gel.
And the rumors were that Eddie was fucking around.
And so they were accusing her of doing all of this to keep her husband, which, you know,
karma kind of smacked both her asses on that one, really, in the end.
But yeah, that was pretty shitty.
But Wendy's still just like, oh, really?
Now they're selling my outfit at the...
No, they're not.
And that wasn't their point.
And I don't even like Robin and Giselle, but Wendy's coming in here so dour, just, it's
just like so sour about every little thing.
And then they're sitting there making fun of her, making fun of all the clothes.
And I don't know, it's just, it's not fun.
Yeah. It's not fun. Yeah.
It's not fun.
Yeah. So, um, so the fashion is-
By the way, they have every right to not like these people.
Yeah.
I'm not taking away the right to not like them, but it's just like, okay. I mean, at
least make it fun. Just not like they're stealing your outfit from three years ago. Like, let
it go, lady.
So then, um, she, Giselle is, um, so now they're all dissing their collection, right? Wendy's like,
well, what's up with these clothes? Are these supposed to be workout clothes? And she goes,
I guess imitation is the greatest form of flattery. And Karen's like, oh, well, that one's good. I'm
going to the grocery store in that one. And Kiarna, who's there, is saying that it has
Alexander Wang vibes. And Candace goes, Alexander Wang doesn't give you yeast infections.
So then there's just Candice says, I mean, it's a very, it's all like a very elevated Alibaba.
So and they all are kind of like, yeah, it's not, it's heavier on the leisure side and the
workout side. But Rob is like, but I'm very proud of them. I'm putting a collection together. And Mia's like,
yeah, it's very nice.
So the people who are friends with them are basically trying to put a positive
spin on it. And everyone else who isn't friends with them is like, yeah,
this is garbage. This is all garbage.
Yeah, it just sucks.
So then let's see. So Ashley gives a speech, like thanking everybody. And then, let's see, so Ashley gives a speech thanking everybody, and then Gisele, you know,
cries and talks about her dad a little bit, and thanks Ashley for pulling everything together
while she was away. And then Mia tells Candace and Wendy, she's like, guys, you know, Gisele's
going through a lot right now because her dad is headed into surgery and Candace says, I'm sorry to hear that. And Candace is like, but here's my thing about that, you know,
I can wish people and their loved ones well from a distance and that's what I'm gonna
do. And then Wendy's like, well, when my mom was having surgery and my mom was in the hospital,
you guys were dragging me and my mom. Oh, please do not compare your mom's thing to
someone's dad having brain cancer.
Your mom's 10 minute. Wasn't it wasn't her mom's thing elective surgery also. Her mom's
thing was an elective surgery that Wendy got caught trying to make a big deal that her
own mom would not make a big deal on camera. Right. It was a 10 minute elective surgery
versus Giselle's dad who has brain cancer. Pete Slauson And Wendy tried to make it like, you guys are coming for me when my mother,
my poor mother is in the hospital, she could die any moment.
Pete Slauson Her mom's like, oh yeah, I went in for elective
surgery. I was in there 10 minutes, you know?
Pete Slauson I think Wendy is trying.
Pete Slauson And here's the thing with Wendy. I agree with Wendy on most everything she's
mad at these people about. She has every right to be, they're assholes to her.
And I'm really kind of on her side with all of that.
She's just not fun.
Wendy's not fun and she just can't get over anything
and she's not fun shade, it's just mean.
Like the guy has brain cancer, dude.
Yeah, I just feel, I'm just concerned that Wendy
may be like, she may have expired as a real housewife.
I don't know if she's offering anything new or interesting.
And I say that as someone who's who has historically been a Wendy fan when,
especially during times when people did not like Wendy, but, um,
I just am not sure if she, I just, I don't know.
I feel like she's kind of lost her magic, but
anyway, Giselle and Ashley join everyone
in the seating area and they give a toast to GNA and all the ladies start dancing and they
start pouring each other some champagne. And Giselle's just reflecting, Giselle has to go
off to her flight to Atlanta and she's like, she's like, this is all happening
very fast and she just needs to get through the day.
She just wants to get to her dad.
So it sort of seems like the episodes over, but anyone who's watched the previews knows
that there's still some more happening and anyone who's watched seen anything on TMZ
from several months ago knows something happened.
So finally the cameras go down, but the microphones are still recording.
And someone is saying, I think Ashley is like, so the cameras are down, right?
The cameras are down.
So the cameras are down, right?
The cameras are down.
And they're like, yes, yes, we're wrapped.
So then Debra decides to start a fight.
Now this was the biggest shocking thing to me because the cameras were down.
So what's Debra doing?
Because she's only doing this for camera time, right?
Did she just not know that the cameras were down?
She may not have known. So what's Deborah doing? Because she's only doing this for camera time, right? Did she just not know that the camera's on her own?
She may not have known.
Because this is so Deborah to misfire and pull a Muppet move like this when the cameras
just went down.
I mean, that shit's funny.
That's right.
Yeah.
Like, Deborah's trying so hard and being so thirsty to get a moment on TV, and then
she does it after the cameras went like, stupid.
So we hear her say, Candice, is there anything that you and I need to talk about?
And Candace is like, the help is talking to me, the help, get the help away from me, please.
And she's like, you called me Sesame Street. And Karen's like, I'm Lena Horne.
You didn't say any of that in front of me. You didn't say any of that in front of me. And
Karen's like, it's not the place. It's not the place.
And Debra's-
Hey, she's not friends with you. She doesn't have to say it in front of you. And you didn't
call her husband, you didn't call Wendy and all these people cheaters in front of them
either. You did it behind their back. Debra, ma'am.
Yeah. So Debra's like, but you don't have anything to say in front of my face though.
When I'm in front of you, you don't want to say anything. You don't want to say anything
when I'm in front of you. And then we just hear voices going, stop, stop, stop, stop.
And then there's like.
So this is pretty cut and dry. And the videos that have been released, they're all cell phone
videos. But what's been released is slightly confusing. You can't really see who's starting
what because it's not shot properly, right?
But now it's pretty clear what happens.
Deborah just comes in and tries to start,
like physically attack somebody to get on TV.
It's fucking pathetic.
And Candace too, because I think she knows
that Candace already has a history,
so Candace will probably get blamed.
And she came for Candace, Candace didn't do anything.
In the video, you see Candace, someone throws something at her or something and she grabs a bottle off the table. Candace
grabs a bottle and gets ready to swing it, but then they're like, Candace, don't, she's like,
okay, like she gets a hold of herself and does not swing the bottle. But even if she had,
justified. I mean, who does that? Who fucking does that? And you're also at someone else's job. This is not your job, ma'am.
I mean, nice try, but get the fuck out of here.
Messy Ashley trying again.
Get better people to, get better agents of mess, Ashley.
And honestly, it's not your job.
You're at someone else's job, Deborah.
And if you wanted to make it your job,
you would have done it when the cameras were on.
Yeah, dummy.
You really messed it up.
You really messed it up. You really messed it up, Deborah. Like, we really needed something to look forward to,. You really messed it up.
You really messed it up.
You really messed it up.
We really needed something to look forward to
and you really messed it up for us, okay?
Well, yeah, we've been looking forward to this
the whole season and this is it.
It's like not even lead up.
It's just some B string tries to go for it
and fails miserably.
It's like you wait an entire season to watch Hollywood Week
or not even Hollywood Week on American Idol,
like the prelim rounds, you know what I mean?
Just watching people bomb.
Like, we didn't need to wait the whole season
for this, Debra.
You suck, get Debra off the TV, boo, Debra, boo.
But again, it also speaks to the failure of the whole season
that like here in the final stretch,
they had to, first they brought in Jaclyn
to try to like spice things up last week and that didn't do anything.
So now they brought Deborah this week. So they're trying, they're trying to throw anything
at the wall. They're trying anything except anything useful.
It's just kind of ironic that somebody who's been called Sesame Street so many times still
can't read. The sadness, the sadness. Goodbye, Deborah. RIP, Deborah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks for
watching. Assuming next week is the season finale, we will be back for that. Thanks so much for being
with us. Go get tickets for our LA show and our European shows and videos and bonuses and all that
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