Watch What Crappens - #2367 Summer House MV, Part 1: Dread Lobster

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Summer House Martha’s Vineyard (S02E01) is back, and the dynamics have shifted for season 2. Silas is gone, Jasmine is on the outs, and Summer has a beef with Alex.  Plus, crustaceans everywhere! This is a two-part recap. Keep an eye on our feed for part 2!  Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Martha, welcome to Watch What Crappens podcast about all that crap on brothel. It's me, Jazzy. That we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, that's Ronnie Karam over there. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi. Back on the vineyard. Back on the vineyard.

It's time for the Summer House Martha's Vineyard premiere guys. Sure is. Sure is. So it's back. So glad it got a second season. Before we dive into it, just our usual announcements, which is a reminder in case you have not been paying attention that we are doing Netflix as a joke. May 3rd at the Cucubara Lounge in Hollywood, California.

Come join us for a lovely intimate show. It's going to be so fun. And then of course, we have our shows in London and Dublin and Birmingham. And that's of course Birmingham, UK, not Birmingham, Alabama. Sorry, Alabama. So go join us. Go to watchwhatcrappens.com to get tickets for those shows. And while you're at watchwhatcrappens.com, you can also find the links for our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch where crappens get access to our weekly bonus episode. The plan is I believe the plan is to recap the valley on this week's bonus episode. But you know, things can always change, who knows, but that's the plan. So be sure to check that out. Last week, we talked about Top Chef, the Top Chef premiere and all that stuff.

So the bonus episode has all sorts of good stuff and of course there's Crap is on Demand where you can actually watch us. I am broadcasting from beautiful New York City right now. There's the faint image of a skyscraper behind me. And Ronnie is there with Bueller. Bueller's taking a nap right behind him which is probably more visually exciting

than a skyscraper, I would say. Definitely more commanding. I know, he got pretty tired from licking his wiener there. He's like, good night and good night, friends. So Martha's Vineyard's back. You've licked enough wiener for today, huh? I said Martha's Vineyard is back. Martha's Vineyard is back, summer house.

It sure is. It sure is. Yeah, good to have the show back. It's crazy having two summer houses on at one time. I could use a little separation. Yes. Because it's a lot of people going from room to room saying we should do shots.

But I do love this show. It's a lot of room to room action. A lot of walking down hallways. A lot of like, there's someone lying on a hammock, et cetera. This show is a great casting. They did a really good job with this show. Very rare for a first year Bravo show to get the casting so right that they bring everybody back.

Like everybody's back, right? There's nobody missing. Well, the only girl missing from last year is Mariah who got kicked off. Right, and yeah, Mariah's not back and neither is the guy who's the flight attendant and obviously Phil. I feel like last year they were kind of cycling

through people to sort of figure out who their people are gonna be and this year they're like, okay, this is the cast. The flight attendant, I forgot about him. Remember, here's the one who kind of spoke like this. He like, I liked him because I did like a weird Aaron Neville voice about him. Remember, he was the one who kind of spoke like this. He like, I liked him because I did like a weird Aaron Neville voice for him. Yes.

Okay. Well, and obviously we do not have Silas, which is probably for the best. Well, we do have him on fucking FaceTime. I don't even need you on FaceTime. You know what I mean? Like, dude, aren't you doing something for the country? Just do that.

And then. Oh, Phil was the worst. Okay, yeah, I see Phil. I love Phil. Okay, so I guess they didn't bring everybody back. I love Phil, he was the worst. That's a pretty good amount of people to bring back, right? It was a pretty good amount.

And then we have a new girl who I love. I love the new girl so far. She's great. She reminds me of like a little Phaedra, you know? She's very subtle. Yes. Well, very subtle. Very, very subtle character.

She apparently loves butter. Literally half of her scenes are just her making faces at crab or whatever, whatever they're doing. Or if someone makes a face, she's like, makes like a crazy face at it. And she's definitely doing Phaedra on the Traders thing, which is that when people are talking,

it just cuts to her negotiating with the piece of food on her for her, making eyes at it, eating something. Boiled eggs, boiled eggs, boiled eggs. Yeah, so we start, we're still centering this, we're still centering this show around Jasmine for some reason, Silas isn't there. I think last year it was like,

we're Jasmine and Silas and we're like a married, so we're the most mature people. And I think it's cause it's a spin-off of Summer House, which is like the couple rules the roost, right? Kyle and Amanda, they're like the leads cause they're a couple and everybody respects a couple more than a single person. So God, for fucking bit, a single person

hasn't he said anything. Let all the marrieds lead everything. So yeah, I guess that's, she's still married. So I guess she's still like the lead character. I don't get it. Yeah. But we obviously, we do not have Silas because he has been deployed and he must face a very

challenging situation which is he will now have to iron his own pants. So Godspeed, hope he can figure it out. I got it. I got it. He's probably got an iron in every port that guy. He probably is terrorizing some newbies, some like fresh out of basic training soldiers and making them all iron his pants. Hey girl it's me Jazzy I know I've been busy but you're still my favorite place for sun good food and black history. And we see

some clips from last season and she says, but so much has changed since last summer. My sister cousin Jordan, remember her. And we see a clip of her saying, I consider Jordan my sister cousin. Well it's going downhill. Really laying it all thick there with the sister cousin. I know. Well we've barely spoken since last summer,

but peep this Martha. She's best friends with everybody else. Nick and Tasia are still together. I think they were hanging out with Amir and his new girlfriend, ding. And speaking of couples, Martha, I wonder if anything happened. What is this voiceover that she's doing?

Martha's been just like, I literally have the Obamas here. I don't need your updates. Jasmine is like some weird teen movie this season. Where she's just gonna do the voiceovers in that voice. Martha, you're my favorite place for black history. And here's another thing, Martha. I bought some fish sticks, but they were expired. Can you believe it?

Frozen, but expired fish sticks. Gotta send them back, Martha. Speaking of couples and fish sticks, I wonder if anything happened between Mr. Alex and Miss Summer. But listen, notice I called them Mr. and Miss because they're not married like me. Hey Martha, are you married to Nantucket yet?

What's going on with you two? So then we get clips of the upcoming wackiness of the summer and she's like, but you know how it is, Martha, I'm sure it's not all gonna be fun and games. And then we cut to like sad things happening amongst which are Jordan losing her hair. She's like crying about losing her hair. And then, I don't know, sad things.

Then Bria, oh no, Nick is like upset about something. He's like, I'm going through a lot. And Bria's saying, let it out, Nick, let it out. So, and then we have our opening theme song, which is great. It just makes me upset that we never got to hear classics in our house theme song, because I think, Ronnie I would be okay

having 10 seconds less of Kyle Cook peeing in a bush so that way I could hear the classic melody of I'll show you the way. I mean, there are children in this world that don't even know that Summer House has a theme song. I know. It's distressing. You know what's really sticking to me is the Southern hospitality one. I know a place where we can go. Oh. You're coming out tonight.

I know a place where we can go. I know a place where we can go. I know a place where we can go. I know a place where we can go. I know a place where we can go, oh. I'm coming out tonight. I hate the Southern hospitality one. Because it feels like it's a longer song that they chopped up. And so when it goes to like the last part, it's like in a different key or octave or something.

I don't know the musical term, but I hate it. I hate it so much. Such a stalker song. And I remember when that show came out, it so much. Such a stalker song. And I remember when that show came out, we were like, what a stupid theme song. I can't stop now. I sing it all the time.

Okay, so this one is neither one of those shows, but it also has a theme song. Here's what I'll say for this one. Diction. I don't know what the fuck this song is saying. I wanna have some fun in the Medi, but I know it gets in the way. This summer is about to go insane.

What are the lyrics to this? I don't understand. I don't know either, but it's like it's like fun. It's like a fun like to do to do to do. You know, I like it. I just need to I just am happy that there's a theme song, honestly. I just always want more theme songs in life. And I like that their font is better in the beach writing for the title.

Summer House Martha's Vineyard. It looks so much nicer than just summer house. It looks like Kyle peed Summer House into the sand. And this one looks like nicely done. Yeah. Hey Martha, love your logo. It's like, okay Jasmine, stop talking to the island. Hey Martha, why aren't you calling me back?

Hey Martha, it would be nice if I was included. Even Martha's Vine your dates Jasmine. Martha's like, why did you serve me carbs? I told you I can't be eating carbs right now. Hey Martha, you married yet? Hey Martha, have you given up that unfulfilling single girl life? Hey Martha, isn't it about time

to start thinking about kids? Hey Martha, isn't it about time to start thinking about kids? Hey Martha, are you sober too because you're not pregnant? So we're in New York City and it's that, like, oh look at how busy everything is and people are making their way to the airport and we cut to Jordan, she goes, this is life. Jordan's in a great mood this season.

She's in a great mood, yeah. And then we see Tampa and Sharice, Shanice, I don't know why it's Sharice. Shasha's like, guess what everyone, I'm on Summer House now. I can totally imagine Sharice crashing the Summer House cast if she had the chance. Hey guys, hey Martha, it's Therese.

I'm here to have a fun, wacky time with the youngins. Baa Baa. Baa Baa. Hey Martha. Why did you pick up that champagne bottle, Martha? No, Shanice. Shanice is really excited. Of course she's excited because I think she's excited

about literally everything that she does. Oh, I'm in temple. Oh. Oh. Oh. And then we see Preston and he's like, you know, he's excited too. He's like, I'm more excited by the second to see everyone.

And then in Austin and Sam's Amir with his girlfriend, Natalie, saying goodbye to him, you know. Let me tell you what Preston's very excited about this year. Caps, he's very excited about a very certain shape of Nick Cap, have you noticed? He wears like three of them in this episode and then, you know, we follow him on the Instagram, on the Gram.

And I was like, wow, he really is addicted to these little hats now. What do you think it is? He was shaved head last year, right? Might as well face it, I'm addicted to caps. I'm... I... I...

I... I... So here's my issue. I don't remember what his hairline was. I don't really have an issue. It's just like a very specific shape hat that he has in 20 different colors. I don't know what it is. I don't know what an issue. It's just like a very specific shape hat that he has in 20 different colors. I don't know what it is.

I don't know what it was about this year that he was like, you know what I'm going for? That shape of cap. And I'm gonna wear it every fucking outfit. I'm just gonna, that's my thing now. It's gonna be these caps. Cause he didn't have hair last year. So I don't think it's like a newly balled thing.

Cause I think a lot of times when guys lose their hair, they go through a moment where they're like, oh my God, what if people see me as I'm bald, I have to go in a baseball cap everywhere, I have to be in a hat. It's like, people know you're bald, like it's okay, you can't change it, you know what I mean? Hate yourself for things you can change,

not for things you can't change, that's what I'm saying. I legitimately don't remember what his hair, hairline or lack thereof hair, if there is a lack thereof hair, I don't remember what that looks like, and I also don't remember what his hair, hairline or lack thereof hair, if there is a lack thereof hair. I don't remember what that looks like and I also don't remember his cap from this episode. I like blocked out his headwear. Oh my God.

Just go on his Instagram right now. It's every picture. I'm going to Preston. I'm going to Preston. Go visit our, my dear friend Preston. Hi Preston. Hi Preston. This is Padma Lakshmi coming to you.

Did you mean to trip Ronnie up at the beginning of a recap over hats? Hold on one moment, here we go, going to Preston. Preston. Preston Mitchum, right? Preston Mitchum, more like Preston not famous like my dear friend Ali Wong. Wow. Oh, so, okay, it's, this is, it's a knit cap.

Yeah, but it's like that shape. It's the shape of the knit cap, but it's different. This one he wears a blue one. He wears a leopard one. It's like a gumdrop or a thimble. Yes, it's a gumdrop shape on his head. I don't know what it is about the hat, but he just loves that shape now.

See, it's everywhere. I'm telling you, it's every picture he's got. Oh wait, no, no. You know what? Here's him with a wide brimmed hat. That was last year's look. Well, that's his last season hat. Wide brim. He's like TBT to my other hat obsession last year.

In my range. My college hat. So I want some parts of my shoulders to be covered. Hehehehehe. Okay, so back to the show. So people are getting ready to go. Hehehehehe. And then we see. We're gonna be on one today. Hehehehehe. So people are getting ready to go. And then we see.

We're only on one today. Hey Martha, did you see Preston's hat? Hey Martha, why won't Preston's hat call me back? We go to see Amir who lives in Austin. Speaking of Instagrams, I follow his. He's one of these people selling zillion dollar houses in Austin that are like as big as a closet. He's like, this is only $3 million

and has a view of the neighbor's trailer in July. And then he gives you like a full walkthrough and you're like, maybe 3 million isn't bad. I mean, he is really hot. I love, first of all, I love Amir. And I also love his little real estate videos he posts because he's always talking so far away from the microphone so they're always really echoey and it's always like, hey, you're looking for your first

house, why not, choose this place, it has a kitchen, beautiful cabinetry and doorways. It's everything you could want in a house, so call me if you wanna make your dreams come true. It's like very local, like local commercial. And there are a lot of hints in this episode that he's dating a nightmare named Natalie. Yes, I'm so excited.

And then we see Natalie, she's dropping him off at the airport at the ass crack of the morning and she says bye to him like this. Bye. It's like, oh my God, she's satanic. I didn't even notice that. You just know she's satanic.

Bye. That is a satanic girlfriend buy, yep. It is, and Martha's Vineyard is shaped like a square penis. Somebody had to say it. But they show an outline of Martha's Vineyard and it looks like the square-est, most rectangular penis. Martha's Vineyard shape. Nuts, it's nuts on the bottom and a big square dick. Wait a second, Ron.

Are you looking at the right Martha's Vineyard? To me it looks like someone wearing pantaloons like dancing. Or not pantaloons, like harem pants. Whatever shape they're showing me here on Google is not the shape they were showing me on the TV. Okay. Okay, so if you look down, if you look down, okay, Google Martha Vineyard's map, okay? And then look at the third image. And it shows more of the square penis. That's fricking Massachusetts.

Oh. Damn it. But your point is to quit my job. I'm not doing this anymore. Fuck this. Fuck this. Massachusetts does though, now that you say it, look somewhat like a gun, but like a, like a, not like a gun, like a, like one of those guns that you put dollar bills in and you shoot bunny out of. But why would they put that on TV? And Martha's Vineyard looks like a scary fish.

It looks like a horned fish. Now that I look it up. We do see what I was talking about, that Martha's Vineyard sort of looks like someone in hair and pants doing the splits. There's like two little boots, two little shoes on the sides, you know? Yeah, I totally see it. All right, so it's day one of 15 of this recap.

And, Brea is first in the house and she's brought Ben's favorite cast member over. Milo, the cutest little wiener dog in the world. I just don't like Milo. I mean, Milo hasn't actually not done anything to offend me this season yet. So maybe this will be a good like rebound season for me and Milo. But like last season, I really could not deal with Milo.

This season he's been inoffensive, but I do not think that Milo is that cute. Milo's one of those dogs that doesn't talk because you know how like dogs, I mean, I know dogs don't talk guys. It's not Disney movie, but dogs do kind of talk. Like, they have a voice. Like, Bueller will look at you and you know what he's saying. Milo just doesn't talk. He just looks like he's silent.

And I don't like that in a dog. You need to know the voice. Yeah, does Milo? Yeah, Milo does not have a voice. You're right. That's actually a really great point. Like, he's not like a, my name's Milo. He's not like that. He's brr, my name's Milo.

He's not like that. He's not like a brr brr brr brr, my name's Milo. He's just, yeah. He's like, you know how some dogs in cartoons can talk but then some of them never talk? I think he's one, like some of them you hear just barking. I think he's one of the dogs that doesn't talk. And then there are other dogs that do talk.

Yeah, so if you have an issue and you need to alert everyone that Cruella De Vil is up to some bullshit, you know Milo's not helping with that. Milo's not helping. Yeah. He's not doing that. He's not doing anything. He's just like, whatever. Because he knows they're not turning wiener dogs into coats. What does he care? Yeah, I don't care.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad free by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. So Bria is yelling through the house, but nobody's there, you know? And she's like, they asked Bria is yelling through the house, but nobody's there. And she's like, they ask Bria, so do you think Milo's glad to be back?

And she actually answers it like it's a real question. She says, yeah, I think Milo's excited to be back because I'm his home, so he's always happy to be where I am because I'm home for him, just like he's my home. No, you just feed him food. Sorry, he's not like. He's not like a user. He's an eater and you're a feeder, there.

Yeah, it's codependent. So then Bria's saying that she likes this house. They're in a different house this year and it's a bigger house and she likes it and she's gonna pick the best room that she wants, the queen I am so she takes a really big room and then then we see we go back to Jasmine who's like oh here isn't it whoever's there first gets the biggest room why is that that's not fair they all have to come from different places and have different trash travel schedules well usually

people gather in the middle and then they all decide their rooms together, but it's Brea and Brea's not gonna do that. Brea's not, and none of them do it actually. Everybody gets there first. They're just like, the guys are last, fuck them. Yeah, that's actually true. So then Jasmine's like, oh, it's summertime, okay. And so she arrives and it says Jasmine and Silas,

but then it crosses off Silas's name. And so for people who don't watch the summer house, Martha's Vineyard Gossip, you might for one moment say, oh, thank God she's liberated. She finally left this terrible man and she can finally start living the rest of her glorious life, but no. I know, I really did have hope for a minute there.

Yeah. Didn't you? Yeah, I did, I did. I actually, despite everything, I actually really liked Jasmine, even though she's been like a wretch to her friends. I do like her, but the Silas situation's terrible and he drags her down. I'm not a hater, but she's with Silas situation's terrible, and he drags her down. I'm not a hater, but she's with Silas.

And she not only, I mean, it's like, you know couples that have been together forever, and you're like, well, maybe he just became that way. Maybe you never really know somebody until a few years into it, they stay. So maybe he just became a controlling, misogynistic piece of shit. But they haven't been together that,

like she's with him on purpose, and he's a misogynistic piece of shit. But they haven't been, like she's with him on purpose and he's a misogynistic piece of shit. So, eh. She seems just too smart to be with someone like that. That's what's weird, right? She seems like a smart person with like awareness. But I don't know, I think that like compulsion to start a family can just really put blinders on people,

you know? Yeah, I think people start freaking out. It's like, I'm not gonna find him, I'm not gonna find him, I'm almost 30, almost 30. And then before you know it, you're just marrying a Silas. Silas, they just wait around because they know they can scoop up

the desperate people. Yeah, but you know what? There's also something to be said for just never settling because sometimes settling is good. Like sometimes you have to realize the ballpark you're in. You know what I mean? Sometimes you do have to take what you can get. There is a time though, there's like a,

I think it's a fine art. Obviously I haven't figured it out, but I think there is a fine art to it where you just know it's like, this is the best I can do. Not out of desperation, but just out of, just being realistic, you know what I mean? You can't just sit around your whole life waiting for a Hemsworth, not even the ugly one.

No, but what, I think the thing that I dislike the most about Silas, you know, one might think it was how condescending he was to his wife and to people in the house and how patronizing he was and how controlling and how rude he was and how inflexible he was. And those things were probably the worst. I think the thing that really graded me was if I remember correctly,

he set up like two computer monitors on like the kitchen dining room table and then like held his, like has made his little office in the public area and then got mad at people when they were being loud while he was working. I was like, no, no, sir. And he's also one of those people that fucks as loudly

as possible in the house just to get everybody. It's just gross. He gets mad when people disrupt him when he like makes his office the public space, but then he goes and fucks loudly and disturbs everyone else in the house. No, not into it. Yeah, he sucks.

So don't worry, Silas isn't here, but our hatred forum is. So that's still on the cast. I didn't make that up. Didn't you set up two monitors in the kitchen, right? I don't remember without you telling me, but when you told me, it popped into my head like it was real.

Okay, what really happened? It's real enough for me to believe it. I'll tell you that. Okay, so Jasmine comes to the house and Brea has made up with Jasmine because they saw each other at a party and they partied together and Jasmine got wasted with her again. And that's really all she wanted

because really everybody didn't like Jasmine because she was an asshole with her husband. But once you get Jasmine away from the husband and she can be herself, she's cool. The problem is she's still with the husband. So unless you're just always gonna find a way to hang out with her without the husband and she can be herself, she's cool. The problem is, she's still with the husband. So, unless you're just always gonna find a way to hang out with her without the husband, sorry, she's still gonna revert to being an asshole

the second she's with her husband. I've seen it happen a zillion times and I will not hang out with those people. We all know it's a trap. So Jasmine's like, hey Martha, I'm ready for the turn up. Where is everybody? So we then see Jordan and Summer in a car together and Summer's like, are you excited to talk to Jasmine?

And Jordan's like, no, but I'm not angry or anything. And Summer's like, well, you just wanna clarify, right? Cause you're supposed to be on vacation with her for two weeks, you should just like clarify with her. Yeah, just a little clary. And Summer's like, Jordan's like, yeah, that part. Because I told her, I was like, you weren't authentic last summer. You were trying to push people together. I mean, it just made me crazy.

And then we see a clip of her doing it where she's just like, hmm, so you're still pretending to be happy single? Oh, God, that's rough. All right, let's order some lunch. Can we please order her some food to be with because she's just misery walking, am I right? Do you have any specials for chronically single friends? Hey, you know what, waitress, let me help out.

I see you've got some ketchups that need to be married. So I'm really good at that. Let me just bring them together. I'll tell you what, the ketchups sure have more of a chance than this sad sack. All right. So Summer's like, yeah, you've been friends the longest. And Jordan goes, well, maybe we weren't as good friends as I thought. So Jordan basically says that she just felt like Jasmine wasn't being herself.

And she was like trying to come off as a perfect wife. And, you know, she was like dressed cleanly and she was in a state of perfection rather than being like the lighthearted, goofy, carefree person that she knew. Yeah. So then Jasmine and Bri are in the kitchen talking and Bri is asking about Silas, which why bother? Please don't, she'll tell you anyway. Yep. And Jasmine's like, if I sit too long with that thought, I'll cry about it, Martha.

And she says that they may have had some trouble last year. And then we see clips of him being like, women cook! Men work, women cook, there. You wife, me husband. Don't serve me starches. So Jasmine says that he's been deployed and he's gonna be gone for 10 months in Eastern Europe and they just celebrated a year of marriage

and she needs her friends now more than ever which is always what happens with these couples too. It's like they put up the walls around their marriage, they're like the everything, they're the married couple, and they do that, their thing, and then now it's like, I need my friend so bad, it's like, oh, now you need us, okay, great, thanks. Yeah.

So then Jordan and Summer arrive, and everybody's like hugging, and they're flipping their hair at each other, because they've all got long hair this week. Yes. Flipping their hair at each other, which I thought was really funny. And then they go choose their rooms. And Jasmine's like, well, last summer, I take it Jordan and Summer got really close,

real close away from me, Martha. Maybe I just wasn't available. So cue Summer. Yeah, you weren't available because you were being a fucking perfect wife over there. Everybody else wasn't good enough for you. Okay, go do that some more. Yeah. And then Summer says that her friend Noel

is coming to the house and she's like, I know she's gonna fit in well. She's a talker. And then we see the basement of this place and the basement is like a giant rec room that's meant for children. It's like four bunk beds and a regular bed. And then like, it's like a padded cell with beds in it.

And it's literally so nice. I thought the basement was so nice. I love it. Don't get me wrong. Bunk bed wall that they did where they're like those custom built in bunk bed type things that are full or queen size mattress. I'm just saying it's also soft and so carpeted.

I would have loved it, but I'm just saying like for Bravo, you know it was gonna be like a thing. And it was definitely designed for like children and not adults, you know? So the girls were like, yeah, this is not, we're not staying in here, this will be for the boys. Yeah, so they make the boys stay down there. Now that is kind of horrifying.

That's a lot of masturbating gonna be happening in that room. They're gonna, I'm not, it'll be a lot of masturbating and it'll be a lot of, a lot of silliness is gonna happen down there. There's gonna be a lot of, they're just gonna be wrestling and like, you put a bunch of guys in one room for like a vacation house,

they are gonna be, it could be a disaster. Wrestling? You know, they're gonna be like, you know straight guys, they wrestle and they. I don't know, I don't know. They do, they do that, they love it. It's gonna be a mess down there, it's gonna stink. The point is this, it's gonna stink like sparks

and wrestle juice. Yeah. So then Alex is in his car and he's talking on the phone in the douchiest fucking way you can. Don't you have Bluetooth in your car? Like I hate to be this person, but seriously, he's doing that thing where he's like holding it upside down and talking into it like a microphone.

And he's talking to Preston. Yeah, he's into music guys. He has a collective, so that's kind of how we talk. Yeah. Listen, when you're a musician, like when you're an artist, you gotta hold your cell phone the way you'd hold a microphone. And I say this as someone who's related

to John Legend in some way. So then Shanice shows up and then they yell a lot, like oh my god, it's Shanice. She's like oh my god, it's the girls. And she's like we better turn up. And like we better do shots. She's like we better turn up with some shots. Like yeah, we better do some shots.

Yeah, some shots. So the good thing with Shanice is that she is full time this season, which is really good because we love Shanice. And I love that she drives Alex crazy because Alex to me is like, to me, Alex is the biggest villain on the show because he tries so hard to be the one that's like the most down and the most soulful and the most introspective and the most thoughtful, but he's just like a fuck boy who is very superficial and only cares about himself. And so I love that she sees that in him.

And so I'm really glad that she's there to like drive him nuts. You know, who else does that on this show? The person he has a problem with, Summer. And I don't trust Summer either because of that, because of how she acts like that. She's very like, yeah, you know, I felt like it was like our spirits.

But unfortunately, his spirit didn't really vibe with my spirit the way that I thought spirits should be. It's like, shut up, you're just nuts. You're just nuts. Masking nuts with this like hokey talk. So Jasmine announces that, guys, I'm now on this mocktail life because Alex converted me. You're looking at your newest mocktail mommy.

Spoiler alert. I know. And then I can't believe she has the audacity to say, I'm your new mocktail mommy and then deny that she's pregnant. Like you literally said mommy already. And it's blatantly obvious that you're pregnant. Like we can see it.

So do we have to put up with her next season with a kid? Cause I can't. Oh, it's going to be awful. It will be awful. She's not going to bring her kid, is she? Or do you think she's going to leave the kid with her parents and then be like, hell no. She's going to brand,

she's going to brandish that baby around this house. She's going to be on the biggest paratrip. Can you guys just keep it down? It's nap time. Can you just keep it down a little bit? Sorry, Martha. Can you guys just keep it down? It's nap time. Can you just keep it down a little bit? Sorry, Martha, can you just tell them to be quiet? I'm sorry I'm crying, it's just I haven't had much sleep. I'm like, oh, geez.

When you bring another human into this world, you realize like suddenly your life is not about you anymore. It's about this little creature who just looks into your eyes and just like, all they see is you and have just unconditional love for you. It's like, yeah, congratulations, welcome. Like everyone's, you're saying the same shit that everyone said for thousands of years before. Well, I'm sorry to act like my argument has a little more credence in this politics discussion, but I'm raising a taxpayer.

While you guys are fighting about who gets what bunk bed, I am here just trying to be the best mother that I can, okay? I am hashtag boy mom, okay? Can any of you understand that kind of stress? You know that's what all next season will be, which will actually probably be hilarious TV. She will be terrible with this. So everyone's like, I mean, nice, I guess, that you're a mocktail lady now.

And Shanice is like, that's great. Where's the tequila? Oh, so Priya is like, she's an Aries, so she needs her space. And then Shanice tells us, yeah, well, I'm just like super excited to be with the Playboy girls because we like party together. We love doing shots. And like, hopefully we can find some guys like we're

outside. That's where you find guys right? So Nick is in a stupid hat in a car with a mirror. You're really I mean, I'm sorry. I can't get behind that. So Nick is like, so did you talk to Jordan? And Amir's like, no, you know, she left me in the friend zone. And that's basically, I don't know if any of you have watched my real estate videos,

but I'm with a girl named Natalie. I was shooting a kitchen last week and I don't know if you saw, but I was like, and this is a touch faucet You touch it and it turns on and then you could just hear That was Natalie. Hey, babe. I just thought you'd want to touch me instead of a faucet for once. Okay, babe Get your goddamn hands off that faucet before I kick that bitch is that it's like baby. This is the sink Hey everyone. It's Amir Lancaster. Just want to tell you about the friend zone.

It's on sale now. It's a great deal. This neighborhood is blowing up right now. So if it's something you'd be interested in, it's a new lifestyle, and I think it'd be great for you. So contact me, Amir Lancaster, realtor from Boston. You're not just buying a house, you're buying a lifestyle. So Nick is like, so, cause Amir is basically like, yeah,

I'm not gonna be very handsy with, I'm not gonna be handsy with anyone this summer. I can't do that. I've got a girlfriend and if I did that, I would wake up with a knife to my throat. Nick is like, oh, you know who Lorraine and Bobbitt is? He's like, no, should I educate myself on that? Yes. Yes.

Definitely should. There's a generation who not only don't know about the summer house theme song, He's like, no, should I educate myself on that? Yes. Yes. Definitely should. There's a generation who not only don't know about the summer house theme song, they don't know about Lorraine and Bobbitt. Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it? Yeah. So then Alex is telling us, hey Martha, your boy is back,

which really doesn't compare to, hey Martha. So sorry, Alex, try again. Yeah. And he's like trying to be all smooth and then he can't open the trunk of his car. Which is like stupid. Which is funny because this episode features Alex who hates Shanice and Shanice who hates Alex

showing how similar they are. Cause he can't open the trunk, but then later we see her unable to open the door. So. That's right. That's right. That's right. And for those who want some context on why Alex doesn't like Shanice,

it's because he read headlines about her being like a stalker to her ex. And so he's like, that's weird. He's like, I'm basically famous, so I don't like stalkers. I have like a fourth cousin named John Legend and I just can't be near stalker energy, you know? Ha ha ha ha.

So Sunice is like, oh my God, it's you. You came just in time. We're working on your menu. We've gotten as far as asparagus. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. He's a vegan. He's a vegan. That's funny shit.

And then they do this weird thing where she goes, he's like, she's like says that thing and then Summer goes, he's weird. And it goes to commercial. I'm like, okay. Yeah, Summer, there's tension here obviously, right? Cause she needs we know why, but Summer we're like, wait a minute, they were fine last year.

Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, wait a second, they sort of had romantic chemistry that I definitely was thinking about all year long until this premiere. God, it's just been bugging me this whole time. I'm like, I wonder what happened to that girl in John Legend's distant, distant, distant, distant, distant, distant, distant cousin. I wonder what happened with that girl that came in for the last three episodes of the

season and sat on a bed with John Legend's very, very, very, very distant cousin. And they talked about the, the universe. What happened with them? So when we come back from break, summer's like, yeah, Alex and I met last year and then we see clips of them flirting and Alex being like, yeah, I'm meditating so I can access something beyond me. And she goes, yeah, I get that. Well, I'm specifically referencing Chrissy Teigen, but yeah, you know, I don't know if that's what

you're thinking about too. And she says, after we left the house, we'd hang out if we were in the same city, and that's about it. She's like trying to pretend she's a cool girl about it, but she's visibly pissed. Yeah, well she's also trying to be coy. Like, if I were in New York, we'd hang out. And if he was in LA, we'd hang out.

It's like, okay, you guys had sex. So Alex comes in and he like sees both Summer and Shanice. So he, it's like two of his least favorite people because they see him as the fuck boy that he is. And so when fuck boys are, when people know who the fuck boy is, they hate them. So the fuck boy hates those people. So he's like really uncomfortable.

So guess what? Shanice wants a shot. She wants a shot, guys. Do you want to do a shot? He's like, no, no, no shot. She goes, I'm just checking. What if it was a shot. She wants a shot, guys. Do you wanna do a shot? He's like, no, no shot. She goes, I'm just checking. What if it was a shot of asparagus? That would be nuts.

People do that, I hear. And then he goes off, he goes downstairs to inspect the bedrooms downstairs, and they're like, he came in looking like Rico Suave. So, I guess that was Bria who said that, not Shanice. So he's like downstairs, he's like, whoa, that's crazy. I'm a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a Me and a hat. Originally I met Jasmine through Silas, my fraternity brother, and then they introduced me to people. But through everybody, I bonded with Jordan. So much so that now I call him my wife.

Jasmine, you know somewhere Jasmine's like, finally. Yeah. I also like Preston making this big thing of, guess who's back? As if he were like the outrageous star of season one. And so Alex, Alex chose Preston, the basement and everything. That's how I walk into a Target.

I'm like, hi, I'm home. But to be fair, also everyone this season does that. Everyone's like, guess who's back? I'm like, okay, You were also not the star. I don't know who was the star last season, to be honest. Milo. I know you hate to hear it. But there was a clear and present danger.

Or maybe it was the German guy, Simon. Simon, look at my fancy car I got up front. Not for you, Bria. Wow, I just, actually a watch just materialized right here on my desk, Ryan, just by saying his name. He just gave me a watch, magically. This is crazy. Oh my God, a used watch from 1974.

From Simon's company. This is insane. Commercials, here comes one right now. Here comes one right now So anyway Basically, the producers are like so how Preston are you a top bunk or a bottom bunk thing? I'm on the side bunk if you know what I'm saying And the girls that no no like yeah, I think it's pretty pretty self-explanatory

So then he's like I'm not sleeping in the basement Like, yeah, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. So then he's like, I'm not sleeping in the basement. And Jordan tells him there's another room that nobody knows about. Hurry, get it, we didn't tell Alex about it, which is so shady, I love that they just left, fed Alex to the woods. Fed Alex to the wolves.

In this case, the wolves being a bunk bedroom. But it is also funny that Alex did not have like the thought that maybe he should explore the rest of the house. He just saw downstairs and was like, okay. So yeah, they give him the nice room. They get Preston a nice room, which was great because I love that. I love that Alex didn't get it. So then the girls and Preston are taking shots in the kitchen.

I'm a shot. I'm a shot. I'm a shot, I love shots. So you take a shot and Preston goes, wow this is fun. This is like Jamaica part 17 and Summer explains, this summer Preston and Jordan and Shanice and I went to Jamaica. Some people in the house might feel some sort of way because they were excluded. You know, as they were planning this trip, Jasmine was at home practicing her lines. Hey Jamaica, your girl is back. Hey Jamaica, your girl is, it's me.

Hey Jamaica, I'm not coming Jamaica. Hey Jamaica, why didn't you call me back? I just wanted to say hi to Jamaica. Hey, Jamaica. I said hey, Jamaica five times in five minutes. Have you ever said hey, Jasmine? Hey, Jamaica. So, we cut to Preston.

Preston goes, Jasmine was not invited. I like that everybody else was being subtle. They're like, well, some people may not have been invited. He's like, that bitch Jasmine, I hate her. And so does my leopard cap. And Jordan goes, sometimes you just can't invite everybody, which is hilarious because she literally starts a fight later this episode about not being invited somewhere.

I know. Her and Summer are the ones, and now they're gonna be the most offended about not being invited somewhere in about five minutes. By the way the most offended about not being invited somewhere. In about five minutes. By the way, most offended about going to what sounds like an awful event. Terrible. Yeah.

I mean, if there's an event that you're like, why didn't you invite me to your event? And your friend goes, it was on a Facebook events page. That's not a fun event. You know what I mean? Are you really gonna be complaining about not getting invited to a rooftop event held by a music collective in Brooklyn?

Like literally just go anywhere else in the world in New York City and you'll have a better time. Go see Les Mis or whatever's playing. And when you wanna go someplace, but then the organizer of the event goes, I mean, are you on the newsletter? No, I'm not going to your fucking event. Who argues about it?

Oh, dear. So Preston and Jordan and Brea go off to go shopping for dinner tonight. Because by the way, if there's one thing that this cast can do more than any other cast, more than like Top Chef, let's be honest, this cast can cook. And they cook every single episode. They put out such a spread. I just want to be invited to their spread at one day because it always looks so good. Even this episode with Bria's

crazy seasoning, which they never even circled back on like, did she over season it or not? I don't know. So Amir and Nick show up at the house and Amir's like, wow, this is literally gorgeous. And look, it's a playground. So guys, if you're looking to start your new lifestyle, I'm Martha's Vineyard. Come to our house for an open house and open your heart to perhaps your new life. Amir Lancaster, Realtor.

And he talks about how he's in a relationship with Natalie and they've been together almost a year. And if he flirted with anybody, she's gonna hang him by his toes, cut his penis off and then parade it to the house and let everyone know what would happen to him if she ever touched her man again. Baby.

So then Wacky Summer plays a wacky snake game and puts one of those jump out snakes in a chips canister or whatever and she's like, that is hilarious. And then the men are showed the basement. Yeah, and this is like, this is the perfect room for Amir. You know he like loves, he loves a room like this. So he's excited and Alex is like, yeah man, Preston got a room that I didn't even know about.

I mean, I didn't even get invited to that room. And basically, this season is all about, so far, is about not being invited to places, whether it's a music collective, Jamaica, or a bedroom upstairs, right? Right. So then over at the fish market, they're picking their fish and you know, they're all alive. The crustaceans, the crustaceans of a doll. Crab is like, I don't want to eat the lobster.

I just feel bad now cause now I've met it. The lobster is like, I'm fine being killed. I just don't want to be killed while that dog looks at me. Milo's like rough, rough motherfucker. Lobster's like, see, this dog doesn't even have a voice. I'm a lobster and I have a voice. Why would you kill the only animal that you know with a voice?

Milo's like, why would you? Look at me, I am a robust, why don't you just take me on as a pet? I will be your pet. I'm a great addition to the house, you don't have to eat me. It really is disturbing to me, the boiling them alive thing, and I don't know, I had like a whole moment with myself where I was like, well, why is that worse than just chopping their heads off?

And I think because chopping their heads off is easier, but then they're so scared the whole time before that, I don't know, whatever, I don't need to litigate the whole thing, but it really, I don't like watching them boil something and then just throw a living thing in it. It's disturbing. Like we're monsters, we're monsters. Humans are monsters. We are.

It's not the humane way of killing a lobster, but fun fact, lobsters pee through the things right here. So you know what? And lobsters, by the way- So they deserve it. So that's what you're sayingers by the way, they deserve it They're disgusting peeing habits there they also are we should only kill disgusting things also Lobsters are so like male lobsters are so vicious

they will like when they are mating they will like tear claws off of Little lobsters and everything, they are just, they are monsters. So don't feel too bad for them. I do. Except for the fact that that sounds like a bunch of fucking propaganda to me. Sounds like some human propaganda. They deserved it.

You know who's really mean? Fucking cows, assholes. Yeah. Cows, poor lobsters. Every time'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow.

I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow.

I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow.

I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm not a cow. I'm like, I'm pretty sure they were saying, they were giving me a thumbs down. It's like, they have hooves, they can't even do that. All right. Okay, so now the new girl shows up, Noelle, and she's like, I'm here. There's like lots of squealing, and it's my favorite character, a squealing bimbo.

I love a bimbo on a show. I don't know that she is a bimbo, but that's like what she's trying to present. She's like, hee hee hee he trying to present. She's like, she's like that kind of girl. She's like, I'm in one of the biggest companies in the world. Alpha Alpha Alpha, bitch. Alpha Kappa Alpha. And summer's like, I met new well, well, through her roommate who I sometimes see when I came to New

York. I was like, does that did that mean Alex? I don't think it was Alex. I don't know. I don't know, but either way, she met her through a roommate. She's got a solid fucking roster in New York, is basically what we're learning. Summer, Summer is, she just, she is. Summer knows how to live. Has a life.

Summer knows how to live the life. She does. So they put Noelle in this one room on the first floor that actually has two beds in it. And she's like, girl, shut up, I have two beds, what? So she likes it. So anyway, then Nick and Alex are talking about Noelle and Alex is saying that she's definitely giving some

Alpha Kappa Alpha energy, AKA. And she is indeed a sister of AKA, the Alpha Kappa Alpha energy, AKA, and she is indeed a sister of AKA, the Alpha Kappa Alpha organization. And then Nick says, he's like, I can tell a lot about a person. How they fly, it correlates. If you fly sloppy, you're sloppy. Your straw hat has a horizontal stripe

that matches the horizontal stripe on your stupid shirt. I can't with this guy. Like how does he do that? Does he buy two of the shirts so he could take off the cloth so he could use one of the shirts as a stripe? It's exactly the same. Maybe he has ribbons that he can like swap in and out on the hat to match his ensemble. Maybe. I mean, he really loves that straw hat from like the

state fair in the 1920s. He loves it. It's definitely his look. Step on it. I don't know if you fly sloppy. That means that you are sloppy. I think the better correlation is if you if you present yourself sloppy, you probably are sloppy. But I don't know if it has anything to do with the flying. I don't know, here's what I know. Your obsession with stripes on your hand is disturbing.

What is it with the guys on the show in hats? It's like, this is too much hat conversation for one recap. So I'm gonna move past it. So then we go to Noelle, who's rolling around on her bed, like she's the luckiest girl in the world. She's like look at me a bed, a bed. And then she gets up and tries to unpack her suitcase and can't kind of can't quite figure it out. She's like which price should I unpack first? And then she just falls backwards trying to fall on the bed but she falls on the ground and then

she just like sits on the ground and starts starts looking around the room thinking about it. Yeah, because she basically trips and falls backwards into the crevasse between the two beds. And then, yeah, I feel like she's sitting there like, wow, I just made my debut on national television. The first thing I did was fall on my ass. This is, do I just bail now? Do I go back to Atlanta now?

Or do I stick it out? So then the guys are down in the basement and they're like, we'll call this the man cave. And it's like, well, what's gonna happen when Taser and Nat comes up? I mean, what are we gonna have to put up a sheet to fuck? And Amir's like, Natalie will not be doing that. And if I even suggest it, she's gonna rip off my ear.

So it's my asshole. I'm not gonna be able to poop and poop's gonna start coming out of my mouth until I choke on it, she's gonna rip off my ear, sew it to my asshole, I'm not gonna be able to poop, and poop's gonna start coming out of my mouth until I choke on it and die. You've heard of human caterpillar? How about just like human, human, human. You're just attached to yourself and poop right from your anus into your mouth.

It's terrible what she will do to you. So then Summer and Shanice are in the kitchen, and Shanice is like, what did you guys think of Amir's girlfriend? Did she like shots? And Summer goes, um, I felt that Amir's girlfriend was very standoffish. I'm like, I believe that, but also you're Summer. You're literally the most standoffish person on this cast.

So I'm sure that's not a surprise. I feel like there's probably, you know that Summer's the sort of person who gives a lot of standoffish energy out there and then a surprise when people are kind of like, oh, like frosty back. And she's like, they're standoffish, gross. It's also, you can't have two standoffish people.

Otherwise someone's gonna get, you know, like shot because like the standoff, you know, take 10 paces and then you stay, it's called the standoff. You can't have two people because the standoff, take 10 paces and then you stay. It's called a standoff. You can't have two people playing the standoff. Whistling. Also, I feel like Summer's the type to be like, that girl's jealous.

Yeah, she thinks we wanna steal your man. She's like, yeah girl, no one wants your man. Yeah, Shanice is like, yeah, he wanted you Jordan, right? And she goes, yeah, well, we don't have any beef. It's the water under the bridge, specifically the Jaws Bridge. And we see a picture of the Jaws Bridge. It's like, ding.

So then Alex is talking about how he's not seeing anybody, like for sure, for sure, just kind of like playing around. And meanwhile, Summer's talking about how he's not seeing anybody, like for sure, for sure, just kinda like playing around. And meanwhile, Summer's talking about him and she's saying, yeah, well, last time I saw him, he said that he's a fuck boy and he wants to stay a fuck boy. Yeah, fuck boy who runs a music collective. By the way, you can't run a music collective

and not be a fuck boy, because I don't even know what a music collective is to be honest. It just sounds like the sort of thing that a fuck boy would invent. Like do you share CDs? It's just the sort of thing a fuck boy would invent to get a girl into bed. I think that's one of those things where your neighbors are like, we should all get together and bring our extra books and then we can shop from each other's books and we can have a book collective. Like, get the fuck out of here.

You're not touching my books. It's definitely, I imagine a music collective is like, hey, let's get together on Wednesday nights. I'm gonna sing what I've been working on, and you're gonna sing what, you're gonna like play guitar and do whatever, and maybe we just like make magic together, man. Whoa.

I did a writing thing like that a long time ago. It was the worst thing ever. Everybody sucks. Including me, by the way. I once back in the pre-dom years went on a date with a guy who was sort of doing an acting collective and he was like, yeah, one thing we do. And he was the son of a famous actress. So he was really kind of like writing on his mom's coattails. And he was like, yeah, one thing that we do is on Sunday nights, we just invite actors over and we just do scenes.

And we just like give notes to each other and, you know, it's great. Oh, God. It's like, oh, sounds like a living hell. It was so Los Angeles. I've done so many things like that. Yeah, it was terrible. I'm so judgy, but I've done so many things like that. Yeah, that's terrible. I'm so judgy, but I've done every one

of these collective things. I have. I will do anything like that. I'm like, oh my God, let's get into the art together, guys. And then after, I even joined a Vespa club. Do you remember when I got a Vespa, and I was like, I don't have anybody to ride with, so I don't care.

I'm gonna go find friends. So I joined like a Vespa collective and we all would meet for ride ups. Wow, that was, I have to say that was one of the sadder times of my life. B-b-b-bad to the bone. Not even motorcycles, Vespas. It's like bad to the bone. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Like, hi, sorry, I just want,

best buck elective, you're supposed to be caressing the hill as we say bad to the bone. Sorry, I'm on a 150, I'm on a 150. Blah blah blah blah bad. It's your cue, blah blah blah blah bad. Guys, we're taking a really long time to get up this hill. You do your best Shakespeare.

I'll do mine, I'll give you notes. to get up this hill, you do your best Shakespeare. I'll do mine, I'll give you notes. By the way, I brought Ramona Quimby, age eight, back to you. Thanks for loaning it to me. Guys, collectors are amazing. Hello there, this is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this.

Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Hitchels.

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Kristen the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, bitches! And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva!

Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We for Eva love Eva. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We're Pills Poppers for Jen Pills. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony.

Junie, my favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod bit loony. Junie! My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo! We love him madly. It's Kyle Podchadly. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the queen bee.

It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' violet Coutar. We love you guys. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar. We love you guys.