Watch What Crappens - #2372 PumpRules Part Two: She’s a Maxxonista
Episode Date: March 27, 2024On this week’s Vanderpump Rules, Katie doesn’t even have time to pout when she finds out that her ex swapped some spit with Scheana over a decade ago because Schwartz finds out that she d...id a little more with his “best friend” under a week ago. Whoops. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part 2 of a two-part recap. If you're wondering
where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that we always
get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
Yeah. So now Sheena does her version of bullying, which is basically, um, telling Joe to take
her hat off. She's like, you should like take your hat off.
Like I'm like, I'm gonna like fucking bully you.
Like I'm literally saying, I'm gonna bully you.
Take the hat off.
You got braids on.
You got like really nice braids.
Why don't you show your hat?
Why don't you show your hat?
But Joe's like embarrassed to show her braids
for whatever reason.
And she was like, no, take your hat off.
Take it off.
Like you don't need to wear that fucking tom tom hat.
Like we're good, we're good, we're good.
She's like, this is the only hat I could find. Oh my god. I'm a record
Is it working she's still looking at me she's still looking at me I
Can see the Tom Tom hat being triggering at this party for sure
It's like not the best choice not a good choice like's basically saying like, I am team Tom and team Tom.
So that there is a bad choice.
Right.
And here's the other thing,
just not to be too one-sided.
Jo is kind of a dipshit in this whole situation.
She's wearing a Tom Tom hat.
And then later her reaction is like, I was attacked.
I don't think she's being attacked, but I don't know.
So then we see, so Joe's like,
I've gotten so much hate from these girls,
it's 100% bully and it's like horrible, it's not fun.
And Sheena's talking to her friend going,
I mean, if you're a hairstylist, show your work.
I mean, show your fucking hair, you know what I mean?
I was like, well, you're a singer
and I would appreciate it if you didn't try
and sell your work.
So, and also I've known plenty of hairdressers
who have shitty hair.
It's not natural.
I mean, look at Jonathan Van Ness, right?
Yeah.
My Weight Watchers-
Look at that big old, that giant beard
and the long hair and everything.
Yeah, he looks like a horse girl from the fifth grade.
Yeah, sometimes you don't have to live the art
to do the art.
Well, listen, my best Weight Watchers counselors have had pounder bags of
peanut M&Ms in their glove box. You know what I mean?
Everyone doesn't live their job.
Look at Kelly Catrone. Okay. She work. She is all about fashion week.
And what does she do?
She walks around like in a black shirt all the time and like in some pants,
you know, it's like, sometimes you don't have to, you can,
you can express yourself in other ways, darling.
Yeah, and so Madison's like,
I mean, she has dope braids, right?
Doesn't look beautiful.
She goes, yeah, she braids, just,
I mean, oh my God, you're always wearing a hat.
Why are you always wearing a hat?
Which is such an odd way to go with somebody.
She is like, hat bullying is so strange.
Take your hat off.
Jo's like, no, I didn't have my hat on.
So-
Joe's like, oh my God, my hat's my arm.
Take off my hat, take off my hat,
they're coming from, I'm melting, I'm melting, I'm melting.
Oh, my hat's back on.
Thank God I'm still here.
God, I'm still here.
I was like, candle near, flame near for a second.
I'm still here.
So, Sh, Sheena,
so Katie and Ariana join the girls and she just like,
so I'm having some like drinks tonight. So I can enjoy it because I'm like,
but the only time it happens now.
So Katie's like, why?
Katie doesn't have no mood to laugh along with Sheena tonight.
Yeah, Katie hates Sheena, and it's so funny
watching her try to be nice to Sheena,
because Katie cannot hide it, you know?
She just does not have any fakeness about her,
and she hates this fucking girl,
and she's had to be nice to her ever since Scandival,
and it's just killing her, and she's like,
oh, Sheena, you don't drink often?
Well, maybe because when you do,
you make out with people's boyfriends.
Maybe I wouldn't be drinking if I was her either.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
So now, Scandival's like hanging out with like Joe and Billy Lee and T and they're like the
outcasts you know?
And Sandoval's like, hey T, I like your dress.
She's like, thanks.
So then Joe's like, hi Tom, I like your face kiddo, you're doing great.
I would pull my hat over my eyes except I'm insolent.
Oh wait no it's there after all.
Whoops, I lose track of things.
Just ask for Charlie the Turtle.
Whoops.
He's like, thanks, I'll tell my Botox guy
that you said you liked my face.
Like, oh my God, do you have a Botox guy
that can freeze your personality in time?
I just want you to be this Tom all the time.
I love this Tom.
My God, I would wear this hat
even if there was only one Tom
because you wouldn't be enough for this world. Tom Tom. You know, if would wear this hat even if there was only one Tom because you wouldn't be enough for this world.
Tom Tom.
You know, if you wear this hat upside down,
it says what what.
So,
my, my, what what.
I guess I guess it wouldn't really
because the T would be upside down.
So I guess it'd be more like it's saying like,
would it be saying like Walsh?
Cause it's like an L and a J together.
Walsh, Walsh.
So Ariana is like, is that Joe?
Gross.
And Lala's like, yes.
I'm like that girl in elementary school
who's like, who where?
Right there.
Squirting.
Sorry, this just got really awkward.
Yeah, so.
So then over on the chairs, Billie's tattletaling
and she's like, the girls behind you,
every time they look over here,
they're just like mean mugging at all.
So they're like mean mugging. And I'm like, the girls behind you, every time they look over here, they're just like mean mugging at all. So they're like mean mugging.
And I'm like, okay, drama.
But then we see that they literally are.
The girls are just looking over like, oh, gross, gross.
Cause like, Billy Lee's always mean mugging.
So I'm like, shut up, Billy Lee.
And then I look, then they cut to Ariana going,
she's a rat girl.
Okay, Billy Lee may have a point here.
She may have a point. Billy Lee's not always mean mugging. She's always rat girl. Okay, Billy Lee may have a point here. She may have a point.
Billy Lee's not always mean mugging.
She's always shocked mugging like,
oh my God, you're here?
Like, you know, like when someone's at your door,
and I mean, I have a glass front door,
so sometimes they don't just ring the doorbell.
It's just like a UPS guy standing there.
And it scares me. Ring the bells.
It's happened multiple times where I'm just like,
whoa, you're there.
And I feel like that's how Billy Lee is.
Like, oh, is that a mosquito or a fly?
So Jo is just covering,
she's like literally pulling her hat down over her face.
She goes, I don't want to do.
Billie Lee's like, Jo, like, why are you plugging your ears?
She's like, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I can hear their eyes.
I can hear their eyes.
Take it over now. I don't like it. I don't like it. I can hear their eyes. I can hear their eyes It's like this past year these things that these girls have said about me
They don't go away. Okay, they would insinuate that I was a crackhead and that's like that's like hurtful and
Hurtful to anybody with ADD also not really nice crackheads which, you know, like there are people too, all right.
Could you imagine being a crack head and having ADD?
Wow.
So Sheena then brings all the girls over to JJ.
I know it's not great to people who have ADD.
Let me just say, being called a crack head
isn't great to anybody.
This is how they feel about that, okay?
Nobody finds that to be a compliment, okay?
Just if that makes you feel any better.
This is a blanket, you know, like, we all hurt, you know.
Go ahead, sorry.
Yeah, it's rarely used in a complimentary way.
It's not like, oh, this really hurts the ADD people more.
Oh, I guess, I'm not even going to, I'm not even gonna.
Well, it could, cause I get that they're a stereotype.
I guess what I'm saying is like,
I don't know that they hate you cause of ADD.
I don't think they're mocking you cause of ADD.
I think they're coming at you because of going to
Big Bear with the boys or whatever.
So, Stewart's like, Joseph, why are you plugging your ears?
I saw you go like this.
Why is everyone?
Because, I don't know, I don't want, I don't want, eek, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
and everyone's like, eek, ooh, eek, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh You know what I mean?
It's like walking through a car wash without a car.
It's like...
Like you get to the end and it's just...
The time is 12.03.
I still have water droplets.
I still have water droplets.
I can't drop water.
I still have water droplets.
Hey, Macarena.
Do I have to tip this out Hey, my girl right now.
Do I have to tip the towel guy?
God, why will nobody ever tell me?
How about you tip the towel guy?
So Joe's like, it's one thing to hear it on social media,
but there's like another feeling when you can see five girls
and you just kind of feel like they're just talking shit
about you.
And she knows like, I was like, oh my God,
like do you want to hear this about Joe? She's like, so why? Like, why are you wearing that hat? Like you're a hairstylist. You should probably like, I was like, oh my God, like do you wanna hear this about Jo?
She's like so wild, like why are you wearing that hat?
Like you're a hairstylist,
you should probably like show off your work.
And she's like wearing braids,
and like if you're like a hairdresser,
like why are you wearing a hat?
Like am I right?
And even Mama is like, Jesus, Sheena.
I know.
God.
Is this the hill you're gonna die on?
Yeah, and so Jo's like,
bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah car wash again. She's like, Oh my god. And he goes, she's a drama free zone. Um, yeah.
Cause because Joe has her fingers in her ears. I feel so bad for her. She looks so unequipped
for this situation. Like I'm like, Oh my God, someone this poor girl. So, um, and Ali is
like, no, I saw her last night and I said, well, like she's like, didn't like my straight up question
where I was like, are you fucking Schwartz?
I was like, well, do you find him physically attractive?
And she said, yes.
So like, well, do you have feelings for him?
And she's like, yes, like my dad, like, huh, huh, huh.
Right, guys? My God, like my dad.
I'm sure that's especially hilarious to Lala.
It's like, you know, married Rand or whatever.
And I'm not saying anything about Lala's father.
I just mean like daddy, daddy types.
You know what I mean?
So then Arianna's like, oh my God, does she fuck her dad?
And I'm like, no.
And then I was like, I can't go there.
I can't go there.
This is so awkward.
Oh, anybody have paper towels?
Like seriously.
And Ali's like, honestly, like she's trying to come in peace.
She has like this energy where she's like, and Katie's like, she's a psychopath.
Come on.
Ariana's like, girl, that was me a year ago.
And Ariana's like, before anybody starts boo hooing over how Joe is treated by any one
of us, know that Joe is a full blown mean girl bully
who did not give a flying fuck about spending Thanksgiving
with me in my home while knowing that our mutual friend
was fucking my boyfriend in my house.
And it is not bullying for me to point that out.
So I just need to know what was the bullying that Joe did.
Was it just coming to Thanksgiving
while knowing that Tom was banging somebody?
I guess.
I don't know if that counts as bullying.
It just counts as definitely not being cool.
Being shitty.
Being shitty.
Yeah, again, Ariana's a scorned one,
so I still don't like this.
Sorry.
I feel bad for Jo.
I mean, Ariana, obviously, it's well established.
We feel bad for Ariana
and what she had to go through with all this bullshit, but I feel bad for Joe
in this situation because I think Joe doesn't seem to like,
I don't know, I don't want to make excuses for her.
If, you know, because if she was being shitty,
she was being shitty.
She doesn't need that many excuses.
She did not cheat.
She was not the one Tom was fucking.
Any of that, I mean, keep it on Tom.
You know what I mean?
Like if you guys are going to be mean girl bullies,
do it to Tom. He's standing right mean? Like if you guys are gonna be mean girl bullies
Do it to Tom. He's standing right there. He's standing literally right there
So Ali's like, yeah, I met her like once or twice like so I totally like believe you guys
I just want her to know like she can come to events and we're like not gonna like
Bully her right Katie kids
Yeah, Katie's like no, I don't want her to feel like she can come anywhere. And
so Joe rushes past them crying. And Katie's like, Yeah, I don't want her to feel comfortable period.
And if she's uncomfortable, then I'm thrilled. And you know what, Joe? Thank you, because you
gave Katie Katie is getting two huge gifts in this episode. One, she gets to bully a girl.
Katie loves to bully a girl.
That's always what's made me crazy about her
and here she is back in full force.
Whether they deserve it or not, by the way,
this is her favorite fucking thing to do.
And the other thing she gets in this episode
is she gets to be a big, huge victim about something.
So this is like a great episode for her.
She's winning this one.
So now Schwartz is like, Joe, where are you going? Where are you going, Joe? She's like, I just, I don't like being attacked. I want to go home. I want to go home.
So Brock is like, he's like watching this. He's not happy.
And she is the attack. I'm sorry to interrupt you. Is the attack that the girls,
she could just see the girls all looking at her and talking about her being mean.
Maybe she could read the lips when Arianna said she's a rat girl.
So she was like, where's Joe and proxy. Oh, let's relax on the ways Joe.
She's crawling in the corner, trying to find some free spaghetti.
Let's relax one second. And then,
then Ali like puts her cup on like the table near
James's video equipment he's like Ali Belly no you can't put it there and then he like she's like oh sorry
she's naughty naughty see I wasn't yelling at my girlfriend we're very happy it was just play
for banter naughty naughty Ali Belly don't ever put it near the alley-bally naughty naughty naughty you'll be in cool lots for a week if you try that again
mariah hope you enjoy a pleather caplet because that's your punishment
so lot line katie are talking um to ariana about schwarz admitting to kissing sheena
and katie's like i'm gonna confront her so then sheena is at the bar she's like oh my god i'm about Schwartz admitting to kissing Sheena.
And Katie's like, I'm gonna confront her.
So then Sheena is at the bar, she's like,
oh my God, I'm like drinking tonight
for like the first time ever.
Well, not ever, but like sometimes I have like a drink,
but that doesn't count, because it's like drink drink.
You know what I mean?
It's like different than a drink.
So like, I'm not like an alcohol,
I'm like a drink drink, but only tonight,
if that makes any sense.
I'm basically sober.
It's hard, it's really hard you guys.
Hey, do you have any chips?
Yeah, I'm gonna be doing like a live broadcast
of shenanigans where I talk about what it's like
to be drunk drinking for the first time in forever.
Cause like I'm a mom.
So like, I'm just like, hello, welcome to the episode.
Exclusive content for my Patreon.
So,
Ariana and Katie are still talking about the Sheena making out with Schwartz thing.
And Ariana is like, well, I made out with Sheena in Vegas. Was it at the same time?
Katie's like, I don't know. And I don't want to bring it up because like, I don't want to be like, yo bitch, what the fuck?
But like, it also is like, yo bitch, what the fuck? You know what I mean?
And Lala says, yeah, but he said they were joking about like during the holidays this year.
And I was like, whoa, I don't like that at all.
They were joking about it.
They were talking about it and joking about it.
I mean, it's fun.
Like to do it is one thing, but to joke about it on the holidays, that's a lot.
I have a baby.
So.
A baby.
So I'm about to squirt all over this hotel.
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous.
So Arion was like, Arianna is like, so is this like an inside joke between the two of you or something?
And Law's like,
it feels gross.
And Kitty goes,
see that part bothers me.
Like, have you guys joked about doing this before?
Like, that's just like so disrespectful.
And then Santa Vol walks over.
He said, hey, guys,
sorry to interrupt.
I just want to show off.
I put on this cool jacket
that has the back totally cut out.
I don't know if you've seen this.
Did you see his jacket?
It was like a blazer, but the back was like a window
to like below the blaze.
That was so weird.
It's like, what the weird person.
He's just struggling so hard, you know.
Trying to be fashion forward.
Yeah, just trying to be something, you know.
Ariana, I don't want to bother you, but like, I just going to be something you know. Um Ariana, I um I don't I don't I don't I don't want to bother
you but like I just want to make sure you got the email that
I sent earlier like um a month ago and and and and and and
she is like Gloria Swanson coming down the staircase
looking at him. She's like she is she's like the I am so
impressed because if there's someone that I can't stand and they try to
talk to me, I thought my dream is to do what Ariana did.
Just give like the evilest face, but instead I'm like, Oh hi, yeah, no, it's fine.
Everything's fine.
That's totally cool.
Yeah, I'll check in that email.
Oh my God.
I've just been really backed up in my emails.
I'll get to that.
It's like my lawyer has it.
And he's like, um, just so you, uh, I am nervous. Look everybody, my lawyer has it. And he's like, just so you, I am nervous.
Look everybody, I'm being bullied.
Just so you know, we need to get things going.
And oh, so if you could like have him respond.
And she's like,
She just turns away now.
She just looks away and he's just talking to her cheekbone.
Yeah, so like,
Lala's like, what's this about?
And Sam's like, oh, it's like the house. Like, yeah, like just, Lala's like, what's this about? And Sam was like, oh, it's like the hell, it's like,
yeah, like just, you know, like whatever,
like, let me know, like, cause I'm, all right,
well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave you guys alone.
It's a little draft in here
cause I don't have a back to my blazer.
So bye.
So then she's like, you know,
Lala's of course got her opinion,
which is it's taking Ariana so long time
to rid herself of this house.
Like, bitch, you've got so many brand deals,
get an apartment.
Why should she?
Why should she move out of the fucking house?
That's her house.
That is her house.
He should get a fucking apartment.
Sandoval had the affair.
He moves out.
It's as simple as that.
Yeah.
So Katie is, Sheena's this like I'm twerking.
That's what like drunk people do.
No, it's like drunk tonight.
Just like temporary drunk.
So it's like take this all in.
Take this all in because I like I'm so rarely drunk twerk.
So like what you guys are getting is like really a special thing.
So they go to the bar.
They're going to talk or whatever.
And then Sandoval is flirting with T.
And he's like, wow, yeah, I was like,
the other night I was like,
am I gonna pull over by the Sky Bar?
You know what that's like.
I was like, I'm cold.
And I was like, oh, you've got a jacket,
why are you still cold?
So, so I was sitting, had a girl for one time,
now she's my roommate, get it?
Yeah, it's like really hard going on dates
because you have to like talk to people.
It's like weird.
I haven't like done this in a while.
And then we see a very quick timeline
of how he's basically been in a relationship since 2008,
Kristin Ariana Raquel.
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So he's like, Oh, maybe it's time to like rip off that bandaid and like go on some first dates.
You know, man, I'm just like, I'm the victim here, man.
So then Katie talks to Sheena and then she was like, um, I don't know how to bring this up because it was like brought up to me in such an abrupt way.
I mean, Sheena, the fathoms that are missing from my father back.
fathoms that are missing from my fathom bag.
It can't even.
Some might look into that fathom bag and say, this is fathomless.
Doesn't it feel good to fathomless? So anyway,
Ariana's like, Sheena, you in danger, girl.
So apparently Lala had juice with Schwartz, which is a great sentence.
And she was talking to him about sound of all and how he's like so over talking about everything and he was like, yeah, I've like done this.
I've like done this.
I like made out with Sheena in Las Vegas.
I'm sure to that.
Yeah, he said you were in Vegas.
OK, like what happened was that like me and Ariana
were there with my mom and my sister for her cheer competition
and like fucking high school.
So are you trying to put me asleep
before you answer the question?
Because, OK, seriously, my god.
I had just gone to the M&M store and I just got a bunch of M&M's that said Sheena Sheena's
and I was like, this is a great trip.
It's the best trip we've ever had in forever.
And then we went to Cheesecake Factory and I got something like that brown bread, which
is so delicious.
And then afterwards, there was that little statue of the man sitting on the side and
I was like, let me take a photo with it because it looks like I'm taking a photo with a man
but he's actually a statue.
So it was really fun.
And then all of a sudden, the the sky turned like red and like, it was like blue.
And it was like, it turns out we were like,
they were doing like a show
in the middle of the mall experience.
It was just like so fun.
So what we're talking about again, Kitty.
But why would he say like, we made out
if you guys didn't like make out?
Oh, well we didn't like, nope, nope, nope.
We absolutely did not.
Like, cause like that was like not a make out.
Like, no, no, no. Like, did not like, cause like that was like not a make out like, no, no, no.
Like, can I tell you what was like making out without,
you know who I was making out with on that trip?
Know who I was making out with?
A yard of Margarita.
I like, I was just sloping that thing up.
Also Ariana.
And she was like, oh my God,
I just wanted to pretend that never happened.
I mean, my God, I never told my best friends.
I never told aunt D.
I never told any enchiladas. I never told the crop top. I mean, also I, I never told my best friends. I never told Aunt D. I never told any enchiladas. I never told the crop top.
I mean, also I would never have told Katie,
especially back then, because I mean, she's scary.
The bitch is scary.
Yeah, this is when Katie, like, oh my God.
This is like a time where Katie was such a fucking monster
to Sheena, I can't even.
She's like, how could you not come to me about,
because you're terrifying.
You're still terrifying. Why do you think she wouldn't come to you? Yeah.
Also the way that she tells a story is that they were partying in Vegas and then
Tom pulls her aside and tries to kiss her,
which isn't really the same as her making out with Schwartz, right?
Right. It's not. And the thing is also that like, um, yeah,
Katie, when Katie is not in like good standing with
Sheena or vice versa, I should say Katie is so mean to Sheena.
So then of course Sheena is not going to say that Katie doesn't, Sheena doesn't
want to like deal with the wrath of Katie.
And then when they're good, Sheena doesn't want to go back to the wrath.
So of course she does not going to bring it up, especially if it's not
something that like, there's no upside to saying it.
There's no upside.
It was 12 years ago, you hated her guts when it happened.
The only time you were friends with her
was when you got dumped by Stassi
and you were the only person left on the show.
That was like the season where Katie was nice to everybody.
Remember, it was so weird.
And then- And don't forget,
also remember in the early years of Vandermorp Rules,
Sheena was known as the mistress of the group
and she probably didn't want to add fuel to that fire.
Right, they were all calling her whore,
and mistress, and all of this stuff.
And so when Katie was alone on the show,
Sheena befriended Katie, she didn't have to do that.
She could have just let Katie rot
and have nobody to shoot with and get kicked off the show.
Like any other reality star would have done.
But she befriended Katie and then the second Katie got she got Stassi back she totally turned on
Sheena and started bullying her immediately like um five minutes later so she didn't owe you shit
okay yeah give me a fucking break she did there was no upside and once again by the way this is
another example of a shitty guy on Bravo getting outing a stupid indiscretion
and then he gets to smile and be like, oops. And then the girl is the one who has to take
the heat. Like look at fucking Southern charm last season. Austin, like Austin makes Taylor
keep the secret about their make out and then, or he doesn't make her, but he like guilt
her into it. And then he was the one who outs it. And then she looks like the shadiest one.
I mean, she was shady, but like,
it's always the guy who just is like,
ha ha ha ha ha, this happened.
And then the girl is the one who gets all the wrath.
Yep, every single time.
And Schwartz is obviously doing this just to ruffle Katie.
He's doing it obviously just to piss Katie off
and to break up Sheena and Katie from being a united front and
it's worked. You know? Yeah. So anyway, she knows like, why would
I bring this up to blow up our relationship? And Katie's like,
but now like, it's a joke. Like, it's funny now. She's like, I'm
not making fun of it. She goes, yeah, but like he said, he said
you guys were joking about it over the holidays over the
holidays. Lala has a baby.
I may have made a comment like,
oh well yeah, you're a make out whore.
You tried it with me once.
Yeah, but I'm looking at the course now,
at the course of our friendship,
and you've been a bridesmaid at my wedding,
even though I didn't really want you to be a bridesmaid.
And it never came up at all.
I fought actively for you not to be. Didn't she not want Gina to be a bridesmaid. And like it never came up at all. I fought actively for you not to be.
Didn't she like not want Gina to be a bridesmaid?
Of course.
She's like, I would assume that like with Tom,
like, okay, he's fully made out of like a mit,
like with a million girls and I was like a broken person.
Like I was like a shell.
Like my self confidence, my self worth
was like next to nothing.
Yeah, you know why?
Cause Schwartz fucking sucks. That's why. And, you know why? Cause Schwartz fucking sucks.
That's why.
And that's another thing.
We've always been on the side of Katie
being way above Schwartz.
Schwartz has always been a piece of shit,
fucking emotional abuser to Katie.
So I wanna make sure we keep those two things clear.
Two people can be assholes here,
but we've always thought here that Katie
is way above that fucking guy.
And I'm so glad she got away from that fucking loser.
And this is just another example why.
It's not because he made out with Sheena for 12 years, or 12 years ago.
It's that he's using it now just to get under your skin because you're too fucking happy
for one single week, you know?
So Sheena's like, well, why would I have brought it up?
Because like, I knew that he had already done a number and he was shitting on your relationship.
And I'm like, why would I hurt you more?
And be like, yeah, he did that with me too. And Katie's like because she's no because I wanted you to work out
Katie, okay, like I wanted you to work out with Swartz. It's like a really important to me
It's like a person who only drinks every once in a while
Yeah, but you can't act like you wanted to work out but then withhold the fact that her
Like future husband is like making out with her, right?
Or trying to make out.
Like that's actually when you say,
you have to get out of this relationship.
So she does not totally in the clear here either.
So Katie is like, yeah, you have to, but you have,
but you being someone that was also part
of that whole narrative, some might say,
convenient narrative and being part of our wedding,
that's like almost Joe levels of awfulness.
So Katie's like, yeah, I would have expected this.
Has anyone said 12 years ago yet?
That's the thing.
Like does Katie even know it was 12 years ago?
I guess Sheena did kind of,
cause she's like my sister was at a cheer competition
in Vegas, so.
I don't know, it was so long ago.
And you can't act like you married Schwartz
not knowing that he was a piece of shit.
You knew he was a cheating piece of shit.
And I'm not saying that that justifies him
being a cheating piece of shit,
but it's not like had Sheena told you
that he tried to make out with her
when they were wasted and partying in Vegas one time
that you wouldn't have married Tom.
You know what I mean?
Like that was one little bead
on a long shitty string of beads.
I think, I don't know why I'm making these.
I think Brock was the only one who was like,
oh, this is like 10 years ago, everyone.
Come on now.
So, cause he does that later.
So anyway, let's move on to the next day.
So now Lala and James meet with Schwartz.
This is a long ass episode, by the way.
I'm just like, I think there was still so much left
in this episode.
Is it? It feels almost over.
It feels like that was like- No, we have the lunch
and then we also are gonna have a breathing exercise
and then we have- Oh gosh.
It is a big one.
Okay, so- Okay.
Okay, we need to take a break.
We can do this.
I'm like, I have to be ready.
This is gonna be our latest, okay?
We can do this. We can do this so badly.
It'll be like the old days, a nice three-hour sesh.
Oh my goodness.
So now it's the next day.
Well, this podcast, by the way,
we've been recording for 24 hours.
To the listeners, it's now Sunday.
Oh, a new episode of Vanderpump?
Funding referrals is about to start.
A new season is starting.
Oh my God, they recast half of Vanderpump
by the time the food happens.
So the next day, Lala and James meet with Schwartz
to talk about last night.
And I love, so then they talk about, you know,
six hours earlier, Schwartz having lunch with Joe
and how Joe was basically hurt by all the girls
and had an anxiety attack.
And Joe's just saying at their lunch,
he's like, I was just scared.
You know what I mean?
I mean, all I heard was, ah.
He's like, oh no, it was the FM inside the car watch,
wasn't it?
Yes.
Yes.
Hold on.
You still got water droplets on you.
Let me wipe those away.
She's like, oh my god.
In love again.
on you, let me wipe those away. She's like, oh my God, in love again.
I'm still laughing at the concept of FM in the car wash.
Is she hearing Delilah or something?
No, don't you remember when you go through the car wash
and you were playing the radio,
how the car wash, the radio just be like.
Oh yeah.
My dad would always bang on the car,
the bang on it, being like, why isn't it working?
Cause you're in the car wash,
but you just kept hitting it thinking,
surely if I just hit it enough, it'll come back to life.
Huh, dads?
You're like, dad, stop banging the radio
and pay attention to this wonderful show.
You know, everything's so, I love the car wash.
Although there was a period of time in my life as a kid
when I was terrified of it, it was so scary,
but then all of a sudden you realize
it's actually the most fabulous thing you could do,
which is like a bunch of dancers, like showgirls.
Yeah, because kids are pussies.
Yeah.
So are plants.
I'll tell you one thing,
my plant never complained in the car wash.
That's exactly the same as,
my ficus was scared in car wash once.
So,
it's the only plant I know of you noticed a ficus. I know, you're really leaning into ficus was scared in car wash once. So. That's the only plant I know of you noticed a ficus.
I know you're really leaning into ficus.
There's a, what about a spider plant Ronnie?
So Schwartz is like, yeah, Joe is fine, she's fine.
And Lala's like, and when you see her,
do you like kiss her?
Squirt.
And Schwartz is like, no, no, no, like,
kind of like when we hang out, but it's not like that
except, you know, we just haven't had sex, you know?
So, what does he talk?
Which is a lie.
What?
We haven't had sex, I thought he made a joke.
I don't know, I don't get it.
Maybe I wrote that down.
Doesn't matter.
So Lala's like, you know what?
That's very different actually.
And he goes, yeah, yeah, I mean, huh, huh, right?
Oh no, no, he's talking to Lala.
He's saying, no, it's like when we hang out,
Lala, except me and you haven't had sex, sorry.
That makes, I read it wrong.
That was my bad.
I apologize to greater Bravo community.
So they're talking about that.
And Lala's like, is Sandoval's coming?
Because, you know, if he is coming,
so I just want to look good in case the paparazzi
takes photos. And Schwartz is like,
yeah, he said he was going to pop in,
but who knows he's on, he's on Sandoval time.
So he comes in.
I love that Tom's having this whole season of like,
look at what a different person I am
and still fucking constantly shows up late
to every single thing.
That is so rude and a fuck you to everybody around you. I can't.ala is like oh my god look at you Santa Vos the energy seems good you're
happy you have a good day what about that he's like yeah good day like your nails gonna
borrow them thank you I just say you see coming with your head hanging low being all sad look
at your mouth yeah he's like yeah I know it's like I got neutered and then James like it's
like someone woke up on the sunny side of the bed this morning.
You know, I woke up on the sunny side of the bed this morning and then a can of aha watermelon
sparkling water fell on my head right from that stupid Southwest end.
I stopped throwing your trash at my head.
So then we get Sandoval's newest load of shit.
Well, I've been running around because we had some AC issues.
So I had to go to the main bedroom
and like close some vents.
And then the door got left open somehow.
It just got left open by someone.
I mean, I wasn't there.
It wasn't necessary.
We can't prove it was me that left the door open.
But then Maya went in there and like ate some stuff,
like some weird stuff.
So we've had some problems with that.
So that was rough.
And George is like, yeah, she does that. Do you ever tell you about the time
that she ate 500 lack of the bills? Or is it 50? I'm a little boy.
Santa was like, it was like 500 and she like eats like pillows and hair coloring and on time, like she like shits and drop the couch. I'm like,
well, maybe Maya's eating the laxatives because she's like, damn, this pillow,
I am not digesting it very well.
Like, she's trying to solve her own problems.
It's called self care because you're not fucking helping.
So then he's like, Maya, like she often gets into things
like laxatives and Arianna's upset with me,
but like it's clearly an accident, clearly.
God, shut the fuck up.
You can't even take accountability of the fact
that you let Maya have access to food that she can't eat.
She's mad at me, but it's like an accident, man.
You're supposed to say,
I'm so sorry, this was totally my fault, it's my bad.
I was very irresponsible, it won't happen again.
Now it was obviously an accident,
so why are you mad at me?
Can't talk about fragility.
Ariana's story, which we get in a little while,
is that he locked the dog in the room.
She was gone and he put the dog in there.
He didn't just leave the door open,
he put the dog in there and closed the door.
Because he was probably doing that.
And you know when you've done that.
I think you'd know when there's a dog stuck in a room.
Right, I would imagine.
Yeah. But also why was your takeout from last night still on the counter in your bed?
That's a whole other, you guys, you do need and to clean up your shit.
Cause that's crazy too. Yeah.
There should not have been a takeout container.
Don't you feel like a fucking parent sometimes doing this show?
We, we joke about how we're not parents, but then listen to us.
We're like, but then your takeout was left out, Missy.
I'm like, it's like we do have children.
They're on television.
They're on TV.
Yeah.
That's why we never had to have children
because we're always bossing these people around
who can't even hear us, you know?
So, I mean, I guess I could.
I wouldn't recommend it.
Sandoval's like, you know, I'm like trying to move forward and like take action and like make it super easy
for her to like move out, you know? And Lala's like, yeah.
And I know how it feels to have someone hold you hostage for your past or their
version of it. He's like, yeah.
What does this have to do with you? What world?
Well, what's funny is that like that comment is I believe
75% targeted at Sandoval because Sandoval was the one
who held her hostage for her past
and he just does not even realize it.
Oh, okay.
Kind of misunderstanding everything Walla says in the scene.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Oh, no, no, it was good.
I mean, I don't know if she meant it that way,
but I could apply to him and he doesn't even have
the moment to say like, oh yeah,
that's what I was doing to you.
Oh yeah, I didn't get it either.
So he's like, it's been humbling.
Like I've been doing guided meditation
and trying to just like explore other ways
to handle anxiety and anger.
Maybe you should try meditation that's like,
take better care of pets.
How about that?
And maybe it's some meditation that's like,
you don't deserve this house.
You don't deserve this house. You don't deserve this house.
You aren't automatically born with a right to a house
that also you took fucking loans out on
when someone else was part owner of this.
Dude, it was like an accident.
Like, why are you mad at me?
It was like clearly an accident.
I'm doing guided meditation.
He's like, you want to come over for breath work?
And she's like, no, I don't want to hold you
to your past in any way, shape or form.
I just don't know what I can participate in right now,
Toms, and I don't want to make a mockery
of the work that you're doing.
So maybe I'll sleep on it and come after you do breath work.
I just want to be in a place where you're not
purposely breathing because that would be harmful
to my friend Ariana, but maybe if it's a place
where you just happen to be breathing, that's better.
Here's what I want to do.
I want to walk in while you're doing something
really embarrassing, and I can like laugh about it.
Okay.
So now it's time, the next day,
it's time for Sandoval's guided meditation,
which there was a part of me that thought
when he said he does guided meditation,
it meant like a guy did meditation. That's all he meant by it. So, um,
this guy,
Santa was lying there on like a mat and he's got headphones on the, the,
I guess there's probably some music or some sensory deprivation,
whatever going on through his ears.
This guy, Dr. Vu is speaking to him through a microphone and he's like, okay,
three, two, one, in and out.
And Santa ball's like.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
right now, we're revving your engine.
We're revving your engine.
I want you to see yourself as a race car that sings on key.
This is a C, ah.
Give me a C, ah.
Ah!
That is not a C.
Do a C, you can do it.
You can do it.
Now these next few minutes is going to set the tone for this entire session.
In.
Dude! Dude! Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
Out. Wasn't my fault. Wasn't my fault.
It's clearly an accident, man.
We need to conquer the tough challenges.
It's my house!
Let go of all the resentment you feel.
You in danger, girl!
There you go. Let it flow.
I hate the violent!
Ha ha ha!
Dublin latte!
Let it go.
Klingit Dubol fashion icon.
Let's reflect on your inner world. Remember, the universe always prioritizes our growth
over our comfort.
White nail polish.
Do.
Buzz buttons.
Now, one big exhale.
We're going to let it filter your whole body.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, Schwartz's bomb.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ah. This? It's like an emotional orgasm, bro.
This was the most sand-a-ball thing that sand-a-balls ever
sand-a-balled.
The scream.
I'm trying to control myself.
I'm in an apartment now.
I'm trying to not get thrown out of this place, but
Whoa, like Santa of all doing his just even his little breath work
I was like, are there any of those laxatives left? Did Maya take all of them because you sound like you need one. He's just like
Something he's grabbing onto the just lid. You know, the,
the seat of the pot, just like grabbing onto it.
It did not sound like breath work.
It definitely sounded like conservation work. It was,
I was like, I was like, I think I was making these noises last week,
but the difference was I was preparing for a colonoscopy.
You did actually actually taken medication. I was like, oh my gosh.
So Dr. Vu is like,
I think you have a friend here now that we're done.
And he's like, what's up Lala?
She's like, oh my God, just hate to say it.
Just squirt it.
It's so awkward.
What the fuck are you doing?
Lala walked in in the middle of this and is like, what the hell?
And I love how Sandoval goes from this like scream cry to then be like, oh hey Lala, what's going on?
That's really cool man, you wanna do it?
Yeah.
She's like, no, so I'm not gonna do this.
It seemed really great and I know that you wanted us to all do this together,
but I have a little bit of dignity left and I'm not gonna do this on national TVs.
So thanks.
I'm gonna keep the remainder of my dignities.
Thank you.
I'm basically an orca.
So she's like, you know, it seemed really great.
And I know you wanted us to do it together,
but like I'm amazed with you.
And we should, you know,
we all reserve the right to evolve.
And it's the fuck what anyone else says.
Except for Joe.
Except for Joe, she can't evolve.
And Katie later, who I also turn on in about five minutes.
And Ariana as well.
But, you know, fuck what anyone else says, you know?
And let's just say he is bullshitting us all.
Like, I don't have to sleep with him.
He sleeps with himself, you know?
And I sleep pretty nice at nights.
Yeah. You know what happened last year, Tomz, you know, and I sleep pretty nice at night.
Yeah. You know what? What happened last year, Tom's was like the cherry on top of the squirt.
And I feel like for a very long time, I have really, really tried.
OK. And I've texted you to tell you I was proud of you at the bar.
And I would never get responses.
And when my life went south, not once did you ask me how I was doing,
because you may remember I was in a marriage with Rans
and then he cheated on me.
And then it would have become a huge nationwide scandal.
But then like your scandal took over.
So I think maybe now would be a good time for me
to start my scandal back up again.
So what I'm trying to say is this is lullaball right now.
And so scandalala, I don't know, whatever you want to say it.
So like, are you paying, did you fall asleep on me, Tom?
He's like, well, I apologize,
but I didn't feel it was appropriate
for me to contact with you.
There was a disconnect.
In other words, we hated each other.
Why are you fucking acting like I would call you
during your, we hated each other's fucking guts, okay?
And you sent me one text one time that said,
congrats on your restaurant.
Like, what's that supposed to do?
But she's, I like that she's like,
listen, it wasn't Scandival.
I hated your ass before Scandival.
So let's stop pretending,
like I just need to forgive you for Scandival.
You're an asshole.
I hate your guts.
I've always hated your guts.
So tell me why we're supposed to be friends again.
Yeah.
And you know, it's just like, you know what,
what happened in my life, like really, really fucked me up.
And if you want to join me on this storyline,
I really would like, I would like you to join me
because I'm not getting any traction with it.
I'm just like really trying to remind America
that I also have a scandal and...
It would be nice if I could get maybe at least an episode.
I don't need to be on Dancing with the Stars, but could I just maybe be on Dance Moms or
something?
Can I just like get anything?
Anything?
Come on.
I mean, shit, I do Masked Singer.
I don't care.
Oh, did that one.
Sorry.
Damn it.
I'll just wear masks.
I don't know.
Whatever America needs from me.
This is Sheena, just in the parking lot.
I just wanted to say I'm really upset that you did Masked Singer and didn't even for me. This is Sheena, just in the parking lot. I just wanted to say I'm really upset that you did Mass Singer and didn't even tell me.
Aaaaaaah!
Do you mean to do like that Storage Wars?
I'll open up some storage places.
Storage Wars, did it!
Oh, I'm just, I'm going through a lot.
Yeah, well thank you. I just want to, like, I just want positivity right now.
And I just like want to be positive to to other people and I don't want to
Like walk in a room and people be like, oh, I don't want that like but the way things have been like we're down my life
I do feel like this was actually supposed to happen and like maybe
Like what you went through obviously was maybe supposed to happen. What did you go through again, by the way? I don't remember
Did the Range Rover break down? What are we talking about?
You got new hoop earrings or something?
She's like, oh my god, I've been held prisoner by my experience for way too long.
You and what you did, that's not my fights.
But you know what?
This is what I want.
I feel good about this.
And I did feel good about coming here and having this conversation with you and letting you know.
And he's like, oh my God, I appreciate your vulnerability.
She's like, yeah, I'm vulnerable, traumatized.
He's like, trauma, vulnerable.
She's like, yeah, lifeblood.
He's like, meditation guided.
They're like, yes, we're friends now.
The fuck are these two up to?
I don't know.
I don't know.
So now we have a sandwich tasting.
Are you trying to gaslight me
into thinking you have a sandwich shop?
What is happening on this show?
I know you don't.
You have it in the opening.
I saw a girl on TikTok go there.
You do not have it.
No, I'm rooting for you to have it.
I'll go there when you have it.
Don't make me watch a scene.
I'm with Lala on this one.
Like, what the fuck are we doing here? I have to pee so badly and there when you have it. Don't make me watch a scene. I'm with Lala on this one. Like, what the fuck are we doing here?
I have to pee so badly and there's a sandwich scene.
So Ariana and Katie are explaining.
Do you want to go pee?
I think I have to pee.
I think I have to go to the milk this recap.
Go do it.
Everybody, we will come back with the next part
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Great time a lot to do a lot to cover on this episode. Okay. So
Here we are. We are doing this sandwich shop thing again I'm it's not really understanding why and I'm with Lala Lala's like, why are we doing this again?
Didn't we do this last summer's the supper Sada had it last summer?
Can we please just fast forward through this
just a little bit? Have a baby.
But now the here's looking at you inside has its you know, there's like stuff on
the walls. There's like it's like trellises almost. And not trellis, not a
trellis. It's like a Yeah. Is it a trellis? Are a trellis. It's like a... Yeah. Is it a trellis?
Are those trellises?
I think so.
The gazebos are...
The gazebos are...
No, it's a...
The stuff that plants grow up.
Yeah, I thought trellises goes overhead.
The one on the side is called...
Oh, it's gonna kill me.
I don't know, it's very girly, you know,
because it's something about her.
It's like a sandwich shop for girls in LA,
where girls don't eat sandwiches.
I'm just saying, it's not the best business plan. It's an awkward business plan, because it's something about her. It's like a sandwich shop for girls in L.A. where girls don't eat sandwiches. I'm just saying, it's not the best business plan.
It's an awkward business plan because girls ain't eating that.
I'm telling you that right now.
I love a sandwich shop.
But what's weird is that this is like a sandwich shop and it's like girly.
And the sandwiches come out on like a afternoon
tea kind of tiered thing and everything.
And I don't know.
Listen, if the sandwiches are good,
I will be ordering from it because I literally,
I feel like there are not enough sandwich shops
in Los Angeles and I want more and more and more of them.
The sandwich shops in Los Angeles,
I mean, other than the chains,
well, this is a chain, but like fat sals,
I mean, they're so ridiculous because people don't eat
sandwiches like it's it's a culture without bread. Okay. And
it's not just girls. It's LA. It's a culture without bread. So
when they do have sandwiches, they're like, come here and be
the biggest fucking slob you can and they may they put as many
fucking calories as they can. So when you go there, you feel
like job of the hut eating eating your fucking you can't
have a sandwich. It's
like chicken, but with fettuccine sauce and French
fries with cheese. Deep fried in a burrito shell. Like what the
fuck, dude? Can I Okay, let me tell you something about fat
cells. Okay. I went there recently and they used to they
used to have a sandwich at Fat Sal's
Called the heavenly ham and Swiss and it was ham Swiss
coleslaw Russian dressing a very classic sandwich and
Recently they've taken it off their menu, but it still kind of like lives in their system
So you could sort of order it off menu so I went in there and I was like hey, can I get the?
Heavenly ham and Swiss. I know it's not on the menu, but it's still in your system.
And the guy was like, Oh, actually we can't,
but I can give you something that's close. We have something called the fat tiger.
It has ham, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, Swiss cheese,
French fries and honey mustard sauce, stuff between two slices of bread.
And I go, that's nothing like what that's like.
It's like there's ham and Swiss on it, but like fries and chicken fingers and
mozzarella stick. It is literally not that sandwich.
That's how that place is.
But then if anybody's like, what, hey, why is this so long?
It has nothing to do with the show.
That's where they used to go on this show, Fat Sal's.
Remember, they used to go hang out at Fat Sal's sometimes.
So weird.
But yeah, that place, the sandwiches are...
So this one is like girly sandwiches,
and Katie's like, yeah, it looks like a rom-com
because they had like a set designer
for Nancy Meyer films or something make it like
It looks really cute. I think right
They are doing a lot with this small space
So they have these tiny little tables and chef Penny's there
Of course about to fuck everyone's life up
I can tell you that much because you don't want to fuck with chef Penny
So she's putting vases on tables and they're way too big like nothing else will fit on the table
It's a it's a tall order, that restaurant.
It's literally a tall order.
The sandwich has come out of a three-dimensional display.
So do you even have tables that big?
You do not. I know.
Listen, Chef Penny is gonna make a sexy sandwich
because she's the sexy chef from Food Network.
So they're eating it,
they're trying to sub Prasad and everything.
And James, so Schwartz is like, yeah, hey, um, you know, it'd be fun if you had like
a super savory, you know, thing like a kill hangover type thing. And James goes, ha, you
know what he wants? He wants a man which we all know Tom loves a sloppy Joe, right?
He's like, I'd very high hope for the girls in the beginning of this endeavor. But I mean, look, it's taken so long. I mean, here
we are again, still not open. It's almost like they're exactly
like Tweedledee and Tweedlediddle dick, Schwartz and
Sandys, am I right?
God damn it, can the man have a caprese in peace?
This quiz nose has turned into a final exam nose! Come on ladies get it together!
So now Lisa Vanderbump won't even do this she's like oh darling another busy another
sandwich tasting at the Poor People restaurant.
I just can't do it.
Bring the sandwiches to me.
Let me know when they're desperate enough
to take a loan for $10,000
and return for 90% ownership of something about her.
So now they all go with the tray of sandwiches up to sir,
because that's where Lisa is gonna be, because Lisa cannot be bothered to walk three steps So now they all go with the tray of sandwiches up to sir,
because that's where Lisa is gonna be. Because Lisa cannot be bothered to walk three steps
down the block into this place.
So they go up there and Lala's like,
by the way, by the way, Ariana, I was at your house today.
Yeah, I was squirting all over your floors.
Sorry, nervous. I just like, I would have told you sooner, Yeah, I was squirting all over your floors. Sorry, nervous.
I just like, I would have told you sooner,
but then we weren't any cameras around.
So anyway, I wasn't planning on going,
but last night we went to Mock Tales
and Shortsy invited us.
And then like, Sandoval was like,
you know, I wanna join us and everything.
And like, he said like Sandoval might join us.
Then he, she basically tells the whole story
about how Sandoval came late to dinner.
And then Oriana's like, cool story bro.
Okay.
And so she's like, okay, so great.
Tom's a great person now.
Well, the reason I wasn't at my house
is because I was in the emergency room.
So then she tells the story,
her side of this dog story,
which is that Tom went into her room,
she had a takeout container on the mic stand
after Hotel Ziggy, and he let Maya in there,
but then shut her in there for hours,
and so she ate everything, including the wooden skewers
from the chicken satay.
Oh, okay, so it's more like she had a takeout,
okay, it wasn't like there was a thing of pad thai
just sitting there, it was that there was like,
it wasn't like a full thing of pad tie,
it was that the wooden skewers were still out,
so maybe it was just like, still gross,
but like not as gross as just like festering pad tie.
I mean, who knows?
It sounds like you had a takeout container
in the room or whatever, I don't know, I don't know how great.
You mean like as far as yelling at her,
like her parents to clean her goddamn room?
Yeah, yeah, I'm saying it's like,
because it is possible that they're like,
it could have been in the garbage and that's like,
you know, like if you have like a takeout container
with like two, like a used takeout container.
I do not leave chicken saute in my bedroom all day.
No, I don't.
That's disgusting and you will get bugs.
I'm still gonna mommy you about that.
You need to put that shit downstairs, disgusting.
Now, it's still her fucking room and her prerogative
to have chicken satay in there if she goddamn wants to.
You know, fucking Tom, putting the dog in there.
And Lala's like, that could literally kill a dog.
Which, dogs really have good luck with skewers on this show
because Mia made it past this one.
And remember when Raquel stabbed her dog on accident
with some kind of a meat skewer last year,
like a kebab skewer or something?
I mean, dogs are really not afraid of skewers on this show.
I'll tell you that.
The artist formerly known as Graham Cracker.
Yes, that's when he changed his name.
He was like, they're looking for me.
They're coming, the skewer gang is coming after me again.
So, so Ariana's basically like, I come home,
I got home for all 30 seconds
and then I have to rush her to the vet
and they did x-rays and the bill is $6,000.
Which is fucking crazy.
That is crazy.
That's like I was talking about going to the doctor.
I was horrified.
So she's like, you know, that man can't even be trusted
to have decent judgment when it comes to a fucking dog.
And Lala's like, well, Ariana,
I would like highly recommend having a conversation with him.
And she's like, oh my God,
like there's no conversation I could have with him
that isn't me literally slitting his throat right now.
And Katie's...
James is like, I know, I feel the same way about my philodendron. Damn it. Still can't think of good plants.
By the way, speaking of plants, did anyone else get electrocuted by the flower this morning? Just me?
by the flower this morning, which is me. I feel like Ariana's dogs go into medical distress
whenever betrayal is afoot.
I think this is what we're learning.
Yeah, no kidding, right?
That's true, that's a good point.
So she's like, he doesn't give a fuck
about what I consider to be my children.
And so-
How dare she?
That's a dog, that is not a child.
Exactly. And so. How dare she? That's a dog, that is not a child.
Exactly.
So Lisa and Ken.
I was trying to think of a plant.
I'm like really an idiot.
I was literally here like trying to make a plant joke
and couldn't think of anything.
My Monstera plant.
So speaking of Monstera's, here come Lisa and Ken.
And she's like, oh, look, the girls are going to come by because I just want to taste their sandwiches.
And hopefully they've come up with something a little bit more inventive than a Caprese, am I right?
I mean, it's just mozzarella and basil and tomato and been used a billion times over
by every restaurant establishment since the dawn of time, am I right?
Oh, look, here they come with a stack of Caprese's.
If I wanted to spend an hour with a little white round blob that didn't do anything all day,
I'd just sit with Ken. Get it?
Get it, Ken.
Oh, you're the Caprese now.
You are the Caprese of my life. Do you remember when I recorded a single with Lionel
Ritchie? Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Caprese, A-Girl.
Oh, we're never going to survive unless we get a little Caprese.
So they brought a whole tray of sandwiches and like, oh God, still not open, A-Girls.
Have a seat. Are you desperate for a little ol' Ursula yet darlings?
I mean I can't believe the sandwich shop hasn't even opened yet.
I mean it's... they sent a lease of a year ago on money that's spent on the place and cost a fortune.
And the sandwiches, I mean they've got a shit load of sandwiches.
They need to start right now. I can't believe they've gotten caught up in all this permitting. It's almost as if someone with connections
has made sure that the permitting offices
don't let it open until they're desperate enough.
That's exactly right,
because isn't she the one who found them that lease?
Remember?
She's like,
oh, I found the perfect little spot
right down the street from me.
All it will take is a week with your voice.
He had it coming.
He had it coming.
He heard it coming.
Lisa's just gonna take over Ariana's Chicago voice.
Yeah, she's doing Chicago rehearsals.
Okay, so here's my question about the thing,
and this is not even a judgment.
I know it's a surprise.
It's a legit question.
They can't open the restaurant
because of permitting for the outside patio, right? Because isn't that what they had to tear down?
But why can't they open the inside of it? That's what's confusing. I really don't know. I know that
WeHo is a real bitch when it comes to permitting. But we've also seen- Or anything.
Or anything. Yeah. But especially parking. But we've also seen places anything or anything. Yeah, but like especially parking
But we've also seen places open up and we hope before so we know it can happen
I don't I really don't know why it's taking this long. Yeah, that's crazy
So they talk about it a little bit and Kate's like, oh my god
I found out say something really juicy like in 2014 Schwartz kiss Sheena in Vegas
Ken's like, Schwarz did?
Oh, I can't believe that Schwarz kissed Sheena in Las Vegas
when they were pretending not to be into each other,
but they totally had sex and that's just so despicable to educated, am I right?
Outside, Pearl Mozzarella.
Nobody needs to hear it from you right now.
Tiny blob.
Alright, anyway girls, you need to get this restaurant open
eh? But did you hear me? Schwartz made out with Sheena. Oh really? Schwartz is kissing
Sheena. Oh no! Who said that? Honestly were cameras there in 2014 they didn't get it?
Somebody's fired. Let's go back to 2014 and fire that lazy fuck. Is it relevant today, Katie? About as relevant as your caprese, I'd say.
Change of subject!
Besides, who even said that?
And Katie's like, they both have admitted it.
And we see that two hours ago,
Katie had confronted Schwartz about this.
And she's like, so Lala told me some news
that you dropped on her.
What?
Yeah, like you and Sheena back in the day.
This is so sad.
I just say, this is the saddest storyline I've ever seen.
You literally just said,
you know what I found out about 2014?
Stop it.
Stop it.
I can't with this.
And Vanderpump can't either.
She's like, Oh God,
I heard you guys were like, I heard you guys were like making out while Mitt Romney was
making his keynote speech at the RNC.
Come on.
You're fucking break. So now Schwartz comes over and he's like, Oh, hi, it's just me.
Just a little boy. It's so crazy that they even let me serve alcohol in here, but I've got some espresso martinis.
Don't wanna confuse anybody by saying that correctly
on Bravo.
I'll leave now, I don't wanna hurt anybody.
Hi, Ariana, hi, hi, hi, oh, Katie.
And Katie goes, uh-oh, here it comes.
And he spills, by the way,
the martinis all over the table.
Oops, sorry.
Did you say that part?
No, I don't even know what I'm talking about.
I'm putting on lip gloss and like, I don't know,
I'm in 2014 still.
So he spills all over and Vanderpump's like,
well, no wonder why you were never a waiter.
Hey guys, how's it going Ken?? Oh, that's nice. They put
some basil on your head. Yes. He's my little Caprese. Oh,
that makes sense. Oh, and Katie's like, yeah. And Lisa
says, I can't believe you made that with Sheena. He's like, Oh,
gosh, that's a long story. Oh, and Katie says, yeah, and I was
just so trusting. You've had it good. You've had it so good for so many years.
Yeah, that's what everybody says about Schwartz.
Man, he really had it good for a long time.
You're both miserable.
You've always been miserable.
Stop acting.
So Schwartz, well, to be fair,
Schwartz is truly the poster boy for privilege, right?
So Schwartz is like, oh, and Kate gets, but you blew it.
You blew it.
And I was like, you fumbled so hard, dude.
So hard.
Yeah.
You fumbled so hard and now you got sloppy Joe.
Wow.
It took you two whole minutes to seal that one.
Remember at the beginning of the season when I was like, Oh my God, I like, I'm
gonna, I know I'm gonna like Katie this season cause she called Tom Schwartz. She said he looked like a couch and then someone wrote us and was like, oh my God, I know I'm gonna like Katie this season, cause she called Tom Schwartz,
she said he looked like a couch.
And then someone wrote us and was like,
actually he said he looked like a couch.
She just stole that line later for the thing.
So that's what she does.
She's like, that was funny, I'm gonna steal it.
So they're like, you suck Tom.
And he's like, I'm gonna leave.
And I'm like, yeah, you can't take it Tom.
You can't take it.
At this point, I'm starting to be Tom.
I'm like, come on, how many times does he have to? Jesus Christ, it was 2014.
He's done work.
But then again, he did this to himself by bringing it up.
Nevermind.
I have no sympathy for him whatsoever.
It is Tom Force.
Oh, why is he, why is Katie bringing this up again?
Because you just broke this news.
That's a big deal that like you and Sheena made out.
Okay.
It's literally not.
But he did it on purpose to ruffle Katie and now he's bringing it up. this up again, because you just broke this news. That's a big deal that like you and Sheena made out. Okay,
it's literally not but he did it on purpose to ruffle Katie and now he's got Katie ruffled
and now he gets to be a big victim. You know, now Katie is all excited that she gets to
be a big victim. But then now she's yelling at Tom Schwartz. And so now Tom Schwartz gets
to be a big victim. And these two are just happy as ever in their relationship. So I
don't know why we even bother with it. I'm out, I'm out.
So Lisa's like, do you feel angry at him?
Ritual question, of course you feel angry at him.
Are you sad?
Do you want to cry?
Would you say that you are on the way
to being a broken bird?
I can fix you, darling, I can fix you.
Mm-hmm.
And Katie's like, he just orbits in my universe
and he just like, fails.
That's it.
So Orianna's like, yeah, it's like she's like, rest of development.
Katie's like, yeah, thank you. Yeah, a rest of development.
So Tom goes to the bar and he's there with Brock and Sheena and Schwartz is like, that was a bad idea.
I just got grilled. Unlike their sandwiches.
Don't exist.
And Brock's like, bro, you're sweating. Do you want to drink this and then recompose? Jesus, man. And he's like, I'm
roasting, they're roasting me. I mean, I guess I am roastable or steamable if you keep me in the bag.
Well, it's drinking. What are they roasting you about? Seeing her again? Well, let me talk about that.
You know, listen, they went back to that because yeah, but like, you know, me and Katie had a tumultuous relationship
and she would just get me so upset and I had so much pent-up resentment with her that
I handled it the most cowardly way. You know what I would do? I'd go out and intentionally get shit-faced and make out with strangers.
I'm such a coward! Do you wanna make out?
Yeah, but it was Katie's fault!
It was Katie's fault!
But I was such a coward about the way I handled all the things that Katie would do to me!
You just talk about fucking coward.
So Brock's like,
Okay, so you felt so repressed that that was your out.
Like, that was your fuck you there, right?
Dr. Brock is here and
Schwartz is like yeah, and I'm ashamed of it, and I just want to sit down with her and be like I'm fucking sorry
I'm so sorry, but you're a mean witch you're so mean. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Katie
Yeah, he's so ridiculous my god. I just want to feel like I'm so fucking sorry that you made me do everything that I did
I just want to feel like I'm so fucking sorry that you made me do everything that I did
Well, Katie's overreacting from a kiss that happened 10 years ago And Katie needs to get off a high horse because I know for a fact that there's some real double standards happening here
Can I tell you the truth? We were partying the other night and Katie left with somebody in your friend group and he's like what?
He's like I still have friends and they're in a group? Oh, oh, oh, oh, what? He's like, I still have friends?
And they're in a group?
Oh, that's great news.
So who made out with Joe?
Katie, fuck Joe?
And he's like, no, no, no.
I'm saying it's your boy, Max.
I like that Brock for a half a second pretends to actually be discreet about this.
Like, I'm not going to say names.
It was your bro. It was your boy, it was Brax, it was Max.
So Schwartz is best friends with Max?
Oh yeah, yeah, well they were always best friends,
but of course Max got fired from the show
for having racist tweets back in the day.
So I guess they're still friends and hanging out.
So Brax is like, that's your mate, that's your mate, bro.
I'm surprised Katie would bang somebody
or make out, hook up with somebody
that has that in their past.
It is sort of, yeah, not great.
Not great, I thought Max is, Max is not,
also by the way, Max is also just like deeply uncharismatic and gross and unattractive. Max is not, also by the way, Max is also just like,
deeply uncharismatic and gross and unattractive. Max is gross.
Beyond everything else, Max is gross
and he's fucked everybody, like literally everybody.
And he has racist tweets.
It's like the, it's just like, it just gets worse and worse.
And I would say, do people ever get forgiven,
like when is the time limit for that?
But we're talking about a make out from 12 years ago,
so I don't think this is the appropriate time to say that.
So I personally though, all that being said,
I loved this only to see Schwartz
have to reel in it for one second.
He's like, really?
Katie and Max?
Katie and Max.
Gross, Katie and Max?
And he's like, Max is the former manager at TomTom, those of you who are like the rest
of us and pretend that one season didn't happen.
He's also a really good buddy of mine, you know, this has the telltale signs of a revenge
bang.
Which, I don't know, I'm not mad at a revenge bang.
Personally, I think this is a great move by Katie.
I fucking love it.
She played his own game right back at him.
And you can see him becoming rageful,
but he's trying to also keep his like sweet little boy thing.
And he's like, can't,
he does not know how to reconcile the two.
No, look, did I wish Katie had better taste?
Of course, but I've always wished Katie had better taste.
I mean, I said that on their wedding episode.
So, but I love this for her.
So Brock is like, yeah, I mean, I didn't watch.
I wasn't in the room, but we sent a message,
where you at?
And his location was at a house.
And he's like, what?
And he goes, yeah.
And then he sent me an emoji of a face,
eyes and then a mouth like a straight line.
And then Brock does it.
Brock does a surprisingly effective straight straight mouth emoji impersonation.
It's like when I when Sheena says, what do you want for dinner?
And I say a gordita instead of a gelada.
It's like when Sheena says, should we get a babysitter?
And I'm so shocked to just go.
Because, oh my God, that's a bad emoji!
So Brock's like, yeah, and then he said it was bound to happen.
Dun dun dun.
Oh sorry, I made that sound effect, but it's a big deal.
If there were a dun dun dun emoji, he probably would've sent that.
So Brock's like, after Hotel Ziggy, we decided to go to an after party,
and she never invited Max.
He just rocked up.
And then Katie was there.
And throughout the night, we could see them getting closer
and closer.
And as we sought to leave, they kind of leave together.
In some ways, he was almost Watson Matilda,
if you know what I'm saying.
So he tells us this story.
And he's like, basically, Katie left with Max, OK?
And then Sheena is
following their location so they could see that the next morning Sheena knew
exactly where Katie was which was his building or he was at her building
whatever. Sheena tries to make it seem so normal she's like well later that night I
checked his location I'm like hmm I don't think you live in the same
building as Katie it's like okay fine because you were asking where's Max.
You look at the location and then she goes, and then the next morning,
just out of curiosity, I checked again and he was still there.
She goes, it's not like it's some creepy thing.
I mean, I just happen to be checking his location multiple times.
She has 58 people's locations in her phone, by the way.
It's like not creepy.
I just wanted to know one to make sure he was safe.
Make sure that like he got home.
OK, that's it. Yeah.
Oh, my gosh. What a mess.
Hold on. I got lost in my notes.
So well, so she tells the story.
It's like it's totally normal.
And Sandoval arrives at Sir.
And so he's wearing kind of like a Western get up
and he's walking with
tea and everyone's like watching them come in and everything and she's like, um, are
they coming in now? And so Tom has just gone on a date with tea and thankfully this was
just relegated to a quick flashback because I actually remember this was in the trailer
and we're like, oh, we had a whole discussion. Are they at Highland Park Bowl, whatever?
Thankfully, the whole bowling date,
like five seconds of air time, I'm so glad.
But they just want a fun date.
I feel for T because she's putting in so much work.
She's showing up to so many things
and dating this fucking loser old man
and they don't even show her scenes.
Like they all get cut.
I know, I kind of feel for her.
Like she's making an effort, you know?
Yeah. So then Brock's like, you missed it. Cindy Ball's falls like whoa, dude. What happened? Was it more breathing exercises? Hold on
He's like did you go through did you go through any emotional trauma? Oh
You guys locking dogs in rooms no, no, no, so Schwartz like oh
Max and Katie went home and made out. No, they touched peepees.
And Santa was like,
there's a total double standard when it comes to Katie.
There always has been.
It's so fucking obvious how ridiculous that is.
Oh, please.
Katie is not allowed.
This is not a double standard.
This is to go bang Max.
Now listen, could she have chosen better?
Of course, but she's not with Tom.
She's been away from Tom forever.
And who cares if that's his best friend?
He earned it.
He's shown no respect.
Why the fuck should she?
Good for her.
Yeah, the contract is null and void
and it was Schwartz who voided it.
So, and Sandoval doesn't get to weigh in
about what's proper or improper
when it comes to having relations with people. The Sandoval, I So, and Sandoval doesn't get to weigh in about what's proper or improper when it comes to having relations with people.
The Sandoval, I wouldn't let Sandoval
weigh in at a Weight Watchers meeting at this point.
Okay, you have lost all your rights to weigh in anywhere,
sir.
Yeah.
God, I'm really obsessed with Weight Watchers today.
It's come up like 10 times.
I can't let it go.
Is Janelle with us?
Is Janelle with us?
To...
Ha ha.
Ha.
I'm hungry.
So then-
I'm so hungry.
I'm so hungry.
Lisa.
I'm starving.
So the girls go to the bar
and this leaves Vanderpump time to talk to the boys.
So then Ariana goes to the bar and she sees T there.
This is so great.
She goes, hi, so how old are you?
And she's like, 25.
And she's like, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
She goes, I'm sure you've been given
a very different version of events from reality,
but don't waste your time with a 41 year old narcissist.
That's all I have to say. It's just like the most like glorious, like glorious, obvious cock blocking.
Yes, I love this. And so she was like, what did you say to Schwartz? So then, by the way,
also T's reaction to all of this, she's a pro too, because she was just like, Oh my god, hi. She was just smiling. She's like, I will not let any of this affect me. Remember, this is just for the TikTok followers.
Smile to the cameras, smile to the cameras. So Brock's like, well, I told Schwartz because you know, it wasn't your like, I didn't want you to be the one to say something about this.
And she was like, I wasn't going to!
Well then why are you so upset about it?
Well, why would you do that?
And that's like, not our place.
Because our place is actually...
I can actually show you.
This is the address of our place.
It's not our location.
That's our place.
Oh my god, Tori's at our place.
That's so funny.
Oh my god, Summermoon is at Sizzler.
Why is she there?
And he's like, but you were gonna say something
if I didn't. She's like, no, I wasn't.
So she's like, oh my God,
Katie and I are finally in a good place.
Why are you doing this?
Shaina, pull your head in.
Pull your head in or I'll go home.
I'll go home, Shaina.
And so he's all pissed off at her.
Meanwhile, we cut back to Ariana and T.
And Ariana's like,
well, while I was at my grandmother's funeral,
they were fucking in my house.
And she goes, oh my God, you were like so strong.
She was like, yeah.
Well, she was like, well, listen here, your prize, okay?
He's not a prize.
Hey, would you agree Sheena, he's not the prize.
And she goes, yeah, he's not the prize.
He is 17 feet away from us though.
There actually is a prize that's about three miles away.
So they go back to the table and Lala can tell that Sheena is upset.
So she asks her what's wrong. And she was like, I'm just just ask Brock
I'm like so angry right now. I'm like not gonna say another word about this until like about you know in about two minutes
So kiddies like Brock what happened? Hey, she's upset. I spoke to Schwartz about last night's interaction with you and mix and
Of course Brock
announces the entire to the entire table
because that's how this group rolls.
And at the table this is where the possibly
the most annoying debut of a below deck character in ages.
Which is actually a blessing from the Lord.
So thank you sir.
But what's his name Ben?
So his name is Dylan.
So this was, while this whole scene
that we're discussing unfurls,
there is a really handsome guy next to Katie and I think we saw him in the trailer like
who's that? Well, it turns out for people who don't watch Below Deck, because it turns
out a lot of people don't watch Below Deck who watch Vanderpump Rules. He is the new
deckie who debuted on Monday on Below Deck. And he's this like hot 23 year old, but he's
like also he's like I'm a little bit positivity. I really, I really care because I was like fat for my life and I was made fun of it.
So now I have the best body of them all. And I just like, I see people on the side of the street.
I put my hand in it's like, if you go high five and they don't even know what's going on,
but they'll always remember it. And it's like, who is this hot and super annoying person?
And now here he is on Vana from Rules, making a double debut.
Yeah.
Unexplained.
Like, there's no context to it.
He's just there.
Yeah.
Um, he's just friends with them.
They're Bravo people, okay?
They probably met at BravoCon.
Just really quick.
It's really quick.
Especially, it's really hard for a below deck person to cross over into the world of Vanna
Pump Rules.
And he did it, like, within 24 hours of just even appearing onodeck for the first time. I've never seen anything happen so quickly.
It's because I'm thin now, mother. It's because I'm thin now.
He gave her a high five.
I have everything I wanted.
Be friends with me.
Because I'm thin. So Brock announced us to the table that the interaction with you and
Max, so Ariana's like, wait, what do you mean the interaction with you and Max. So Ariana's like, wait, what do you mean the interaction with you and Max?
Boyans?
Max Boyans?
And Katie's like, uh, wait, uh, what do you mean?
What, like the worst liar ever.
She's like, what?
Don't cast her on the traitors.
What?
What are you talking about?
She's like, what's going on?
So Lala's like, oh my God, does she have a thing with Max Sporins?
That is so awkward.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Can I get another napkin?
I just squirted over the below deck guy.
So Katie's like, so like Max came over to my place afterwards.
Like so what?
Brock goes, yeah.
It's like, yeah, so he like came over.
So what?
Oh, all right, so you guys just watch Netflix and chill then, eh? And she goes, what's He's like, yeah, so they like him over. So what?
All right, so you guys just watch Netflix
and chill then, eh?
And she goes, what's the big deal, Brock?
And he goes, oh, no big deal.
I was just letting him know that his best friend
was at his ex-wife's house, that's all.
She's like, what does he need to know?
Because he got his ass round for keeping it
in the friend group when you went to his best friend,
that's why.
Katie's like, when I asked him like three months
into our separation not to fucking fuck around in the group,
he did not give a single fuck about what I thought,
so who cares?
Agree with Katie.
Listen, they have a hundred percent,
a few times a year, a hundred percent agree with Katie.
And Lala's like, oh my God, did they sleep together?
And she's like, oh my God, I'm staying out of it,
it's not my business, but yes, I have access to their camera and I heard a lot of moaning.
I heard like moaning and then banging of a headboard
and then I heard this sound.
Oh my God, that's like Katie's mating call.
Lala's like, I don't recognize this version of Katie.
Okay, like the Katie I know doesn't seek revenge.
She just doesn't, she just talks about it it but she's like really lazy okay look at her
music career she's actually get up and do it
and rocks I believe well go ahead Ben and what not you do it you are the book I
see the floor to you other well alright well if my best friend sleeps with my
wife first I high-five him and say that's not an easy pair of pants to get into is it and then I'll hit button say we'll talk about
this we'll compare notes later bro okay well I know no one asked me but I don't
want to talk about this so I checked to see if my friends got home safe and I
saw his location I was like oh maybe he dropped Katie off and then I checked
again see like did she get out of the car okay and then like I checked again
and they're like the next day it was like still there and I was like, oh
He's like Sheena what the fuck are you?
The fuck are you even saying?
Like rocks on my phone and that's like why he went and like said something now that's it like I'm just like
Oh, and I was just like, oh and I was like, oh now that's it like I was just like oh and I was just like oh and I was like oh that's it oh my god so now Lala so of course this affects Lala right because
it's everything so she's like oh my god like Billy these Billy these this group is too weird
like everyone's just so full of shit like I can't take it Ariana's lying about why she's still in
the house and her financial situations you've got she which I don't get by. Ariana's lying about why she's still in the house and her financial situations.
You've got she, which I don't get that.
By the way, what was that?
I don't know.
What was that?
Ariana's pretending that she's poor
when she's really loaded from all of these brand deals,
like is what she's saying.
I think I forgot to give us context.
Yeah, she's like, you got Sheena,
like following every single person's fucking location,
and, which is amazing,
and she and Schwartz are like hiding that they made out one time, like following every single person's fucking location. And, which is amazing.
And she and Schwartz are like hiding
that they made out one time.
And now Katie's hooked up with Max,
who's Schwartz's best friend.
And like, that's a big secret.
The way everyone is moving is just like, gross.
I hate when people keep secrets,
which is why people didn't know I was dating Rand.
If they're gonna keep a secret,
at least get a Range Rover out of it.
Yeah, it was like people didn't know I was dating Rand for like three years.
She's like, I'm leaving, this group is so fucking chaotic and the weird, like, I don't
want to be transparent about anything.
No, I'm in Noizk, I'm leaving, I love you alls, goodbye, squirt out.
And that's it.
It ends with somehow Lala being the most offended person
at the table, which is, you know, of course it did.
I am so mad right now.
But nice, nice return to the mess with literally everybody.
And I love that Sheena is still fucking stalking people.
That is so funny that people let Sheena follow
their location.
Good for her, good for her. That a girl. So funny. Listen, what a messy episode. I loved it. Like, this show still has it. It's
shocking. It's just shocking. They are so toxic to each other. All of them. Yeah, still got it,
people. Still got it. All right, everybody. Thank you for if you're still here, you are really a
fucking trooper. Thank you for listening to this five part right this was literally the longest we've done in a long time so thank you
everybody for being here for all your support go get tickets Europe blob I'm
not even gonna bug you with that shit right now because we've taken so much
I love your eyes don't even bug we'll talk to you for summer house coming up
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