Watch What Crappens - #2373 Summer House: Racing for Impact

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

The house throws a NASCAR-themed party on Summer House (S08E06), but the real question is if Carl and Lindsay will wind up crossing the finish line.  Plus, Amanda is miserable. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crap In's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, the one and only Mr. Ronnie Karim. Hey Ronnie, what's going on? Ronnie Karim Hello, Ben. How are you? Ben Mandelker I am doing quite well. We are here to talk. Summer House, we have shows going on in Europe in late May.

We're going to be in London, Dublin and Birmingham. So go to watch what happens.com to get your tickets for that. Plus we also are doing Netflix is a joke in Hollywood. It's gonna be a cool intimate show. So there will be limited space. So if you want to be sure to see us get your tickets now before it's too late. Everything again is on the website and also go to watch what happens calm to get access to there's links there to our patreon But if you want to go directly it's patreon.com slash watch what crap ins You can watch us with crappens on demand not just listen You can also get access to our weekly bonus episode this week. We did a trailer

Breakdown a trailer trash as we call it for the new Real Housewives of New Jersey season So go do all of those things and real quickly, a shout out, go check out the Elvis Duran 50-Minute Morning Show podcast where I was a guest this week and keep an eye out for the Serial Killers podcast where I also was a guest. Thank you again for having me on. So with that all being said, let's dive into Summer House, another chapter in the devolving relationship of Lindsay and Carl. And Amanda and Kyle.

Oh, God. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This show is just about people who settle not working out. I mean, jeez. Talk about unhappy people. Let me just give a shout out to Amanda and Kyle for still sucking. Let me explain something.

Kyle's a drunk and you're not. You guys should probably break up there. I just made it simple for you. Amanda, it's time to move on. Like you're clearly unhappy and you can't tell me otherwise at this point. We've been watching you guys for years and I'll have moments where I'll say,

oh, they worked it out. Amanda, this is not your best version. This is not the best you. It's time to leave because you're turning into a nag. You're just turning into a nag. It's not good. It's not a nice look. And you're better than that. It's just, he drives you nuts. You hate him. Like you're with, you're with a fucking child. You're with the child. It's like you're putting the position where you end up mothering this child.

I know. Grow the fuck up, bro. My God. And he's wasted in his mullet, peeing out, peeing in the fucking yard, like, ugh, every day. Get rid of him, my man. Move on.

Get rid of him. You deserve so much better, darling. Yeah. And look, I like Kyle too. I don't think Kyle's a bad person, but he's just clearly a drunk at this this point and he just wants to like hang out and pretend he's 20 in the backyard wasted. Run girl. There's just a lot of sunk cost fallacy going on with these two.

Like they've already put in the mat, like a certain amount of time. They don't want to start over. I don't know what's going on. She needs to be with someone who is like a little more grown up and he needs to be with someone who is going to be like down for her, like his vibe, like what he wants to do. They just are not connected and it's just, come on. You guys are bringing out the worst of each other right now.

It's rough, yeah. So last week, take your clothes off and run around the pool. So we get all that. It's now Friday. And Sierra is telling everyone to get out of the hot tub. Let's get our ducks in a row, let's go. Because they are making Southern food. It's Sierra and Lindsay's Southern food jamboree.

Yeah, big Southern food jamboree night. So Sierra goes inside and she's making, I guess it's the gravy, or I thought it was a roux at first, but whatever it is, she has a freaking- No, that's gravy, sir. That is a straight up gravy. This is a Southern meat.

Well, I guess they have roux, Noah, duh. But yeah, I mean, this is a gravy, homie. Well, whatever it was, Sierra had a metal ass, medley metal whisk and she was stirring aggressively in that nonstick skillet and my heart was breaking. I was like, no, don't use metal in a nonstick skillet. Shaking, grabbing her neck, stop it, stop it. My thought was this is why Airbnbs

always have shit pots and pans. Yep. Because people take metal whisks to things or metal things to things. Oh my God. Or cut things with knives in the pan. You can't do that.

Non-stick, very bad for you. Don't do that, don't, okay everyone, do not use your metal whisks in the non-stick skillet. Please, for the love of God, please. So, Lindsey and Sierra high five. They're like, oh my God, we pulled it off. We got Teflon in everyone's food. And now Sierra, of course, because she's cooked,

is like, how are people not ready for dinner? Where is everybody? Get down here, it's dinner time. Yeah, Amanda's like, Kyle's probably curling his hair. Kyle! And Craig sees Jesse in the kitchen and Paige is just watching them. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Hot guy is talking to my dad. Hold on. So Craig's like, oh, this shirt's sweet, bro. Where'd you get this shirt? And he's like, Mr. Porter, that's where. Wow, you look good. And you're gonna get touched tonight by boys and girls, cause it's sweet.

Yeah, no problem. Or as I like to sing it, no problem. And Paige is like, oh my God, look at those two hot guys talking and they both love me. I'm gonna fold this napkin cause I'm just like so happy right now. I don't know why it was funny watching Paige fold a napkin in nervousness, but it was.

I feel like Paige has never folded a napkin. Literally. Oh my God, what am I, service right now? Oh Jesus, here I am folding a napkin. I've really fallen, haven't I? Literally almost I think 75% of things that Paige does is like funny to me. Just like picking up a fork like,

oh, how interesting a fork. I'm like, ha ha. All right, well I just worked a full shift. I'm gonna go take a nap now, goodnight. Napkin, well I like the first part of that word. Take the K out, got a home run. Thinking of running a home run made me tired. I can do a home run where I just hit the ball hard

and then just sit down. Could that count? I have to say also, by the way, watching this episode, I really loved this episode. I'm loving this season. And I texted you, I was like, I'm watching this show now, like these people are my friends. Like every time Paige made the joke, I was like laughing.

I was just like giggling with my head in my hands, like God, I love my friends. I love that Paige is my friend right now. She's so funny. I love having funny friends. And then you wrote back, that's pathetic, right? And I didn't write back. It makes sense.

Cause Ronnie's not on Summer House or he's not a friend. My only friends are on Summer House right now. I'm in Summer House. I'm a cast member. Like I'm folding a napkin too, Paige. I'm folding a napkin too. I love napkins. Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, like look at Craig and Jess are totally talking.

It is so funny. I totally agree with you, Paige. Yeah. So Kyle's like, oh, you're leaving me? I'm here for dinner. Everybody wait for me? Everybody wait for me at dinner? She's like, yeah, Kyle, because we care I'm here for dinner. Everybody wait for me. Everybody wait for me at dinner. She's like, yeah, Kyle,

because we care about drunk people too. Please have a seat, Kyle. Welcome. I hope you enjoyed that napkin, which has been folded. That was sarcasm, Kyle. We don't really care for you. I'm like, I know, Paige. You suck.

God, I love her. She's my friend. Well, cheers to Sierra and me, to be honest with you, because we are not on drugs tonight, unlike Carl, probably. Just kidding, Carl. Okay, everybody. Now cheers to Sierra and me, to be honest with you, because we are not on drugs tonight, unlike Carl probably. Just kidding, Carl. Okay, everybody.

Wherever Carl is. So, Lindsey's like, yeah, we actually worked really well in the kitchen. Like, we have, okay, everyone, we got like green beans and deviled eggs and country fried steak and mashed potatoes and also just like a salad made of Teflon and for dessert, a pineapple upside down cake. Also just like a salad made of Teflon and for dessert a pineapple upside down cake.

I feel like this cast would never eat any of these things. No, I think they're all like, what the fuck is this? I guess we'll eat it cause we're on TV, but hell no. So Amanda's like, oh my God guys, we should play a game. Okay, Amanda, you're fired just for this. How many games have you started? You've started a game every episode, you're fired, goodbye. Go, go, you're fired just for this. How many games have you started? This is, you've started a game every episode, you're fired, goodbye.

Go, go, do not look back. Do not look back, keep walking, ma'am. Keep walking. But I can't get out of the gate. Lindsay did it. Figure it out, Amanda. Oh, God. She goes, okay, everyone, share one good thing.

Oh, a mail truck just hit me. Guys, share one good thing. Oh, a mail truck just hit me. Guys, share one good thing about our week. I'll go first. Kyle left. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And everyone laughs because it's funny when she does it, but not when Lindsay does it. So justice for Lindsay being horrible to her boyfriend. Why can't we just all be horrible to our significant others?

Come on, guys. So, they're like, they laugh at it, and Kyle's like, wow, what the hell, bro? And then Jesse says, well, I didn't get to see Kyle, and that was the worst thing about my week, because I didn't get to see him, so he left somewhere. And Lindsey's like, um, well, I didn't get to see Kyle. And that was the worst thing about my week because I didn't get to see him. So he left somewhere and Lindsey's like, um, Jesse, how many days did you go on this wing? And do you like polka dots?

Don't I look like I'm in like a Jessica Simpson video or maybe Carrie Underwood? I'm Southern. Kyle's like, yeah, tell us. I want to know about your, the New York city game. And he's like, um, I went on three and a half dates like what is like a half date he goes you know the half day was I just cooked dinner at my apartment and I'm like what that's like one and a half days right there yeah that's actually more than one day that's like

a lot of days okay well I think I need to clarify this not how many dates you went on, Jesse Solomon, but how many dates with, how many girls did you go on dates with this week? He goes, four would be the proper number. Like, well, what's the improper number? Is there like a, is there like an animal in the mix? What's going on?

And Paige is like, well, where do you find the time? That's crazy. And he's like, it's a full-time job, guys. But do you want commitment, Jesse Solomon? I love that they all act like they're interviewing Meryl Streep, because it's like, wow, you've really won the Oscar. You're tall and hot.

Yeah, they're definitely like the audience. Tell us what life is like. What is everyday life like? Do you ever go to a Target without being mobbed? Inside the Tall Person Studio, it's basically like they're the audience lining up asking questions like, can you tell us about your process of walking around being tall? What's it like just being offered jobs wherever you go for no reason? What's it like being not tempted to stab walls? Oh, sorry, that was more about

Craig. So they're like, do you want commitment? And he's like, I would commit to the right girl for sure. For sure. Okay, but what are you looking for? So give me your top three things outside of love, because that's stupid, that's fake, and everybody knows it. So.

He's like, smart. I want her to take care about things in, want her to take care, know about things in the world. And she's like, okay, well that's too, so you only have one left, dummy. Okay, so yeah. So is one of them wanting someone to build a pool without a whole entire half of the pool being only one inch worth of water

that doesn't even make sense? Is one of them building like some sort of like sun shelf on a pool, but not even realizing and thinking it's actually the shallow end of the pool because he's that dumb to think a shallow end would only be one inch. Is that one of the things? Is one of them living in a place

that doesn't have to be forced to take down statues every other month because they're terribly offensive? So Jesse goes, I think at number three, I want a woman who's organized, which I thought was like such a funny, like such a funny trait that he's looking for organized, but also like not a terrible thing to say. And Paige was like, huh, well, that's interesting.

I was really not expecting that. I think just dating Craig, I'm just so used to abandoning the entire concept of organized. I forget that's something that people actually look for anymore. So they're like, what does that even mean? And he's like, it means like, I'm good at big decisions,

but you know, I don't wanna make small decisions all day, guys, okay? Like sure, I'll pick a restaurant, but you need to order for us. Oh my God, what? I hate when people order for me. Gross. Horrible. Awful. Stupid. No, you're the worst. You just shrunken Oh my God, what? I hate when people order for me. Horrible. Awful.

Stupid. No, you're the worst. You just shrunken into my eyes. Just kidding, you're like six foot eight now. That's so hot. You just like shrank like three feet, but you're still somehow taller than West. Sorry, West.

Poor West. Poor West. Can you hear me? He's jobless. He doesn't hear me. So yeah, this organized thing, I personally always think that I want someone to tell me like, oh, we're going here.

Cause I hate when you're like, let's go to dinner. And then you get together and you're like, where do you want to eat guys? And I'm like, wherever you want. Ugh, I hate that. I want you to pick so I can complain about it. I can't complain about it if I pick it. Yeah, welcome to Ben and Ronnie on the road touring.

I'm like, Ronnie, we are going to Mama Shay's Crab Shack. Like, great, sounds great. Then that later, I just didn't like it. Actually, you never complained to me. You literally never complained to me. I just feel like I don't complain to you, do I? I'm like, I'm the complainer. I'm the organizer and the complainer.

Yeah. I'm always like, I didn't like that. I didn't like the way they use their napkins. Am I right, Paige, best friend? Yeah. I'm always like, I didn't like that. I didn't like the way they use their napkins. Am I right page best friend? Yeah. I'm always thinking, don't ruin this date with Ben. You never see him. No, by the way, I think that like being organized is different than being the one to order, order food at dinner. That's like more take charge or alpha or something like that. But I think organized,

I like that as an idea because you don't want someone who's just like a mess, both like in terms of their room, but also like their approach to life. You want someone who would like sort of just like knows, has organized thoughts and ideas. And I say this as someone whose thoughts are not organized at all as someone who speaks in parentheticals all day long. I'm like literally a tornado. So for me to say I want someone to be organized as crazy, but it does sound nice. I mean, listen, I love a good sock drawer. You know what I mean?

Where you can find stuff. Yeah, you know, I love a Google Sheet. If you know, like I think that's it. You love a fucking sheet. Oh, you do love a sheet. And that's important, I think, in a partner. I couldn't do it myself, so we can never be together, but. Cause I would kill you.

I would literally kill you. I think I only want- It's on the Google Sheet. Did you update the Google Sheet? But I respect it. I'm already working on a Google Sheet for when we go to Europe. I'm so excited.

I'll bet you are. It only has one thing on it, like our hotel in Dublin. But it's gonna grow. I'm hoping that Google is like, we don't work in London. Sorry, Sheet is not available in London. Sorry. Google has their website on Brexit.

They're like, unfortunately, Sheetz Brexited. OK, so OK, so now they're like, we hate ordering for ourselves. Gross. So Kyle's like, OK, so now we know Paige wants the guy to order. Okay, everybody, we're here at dinner, right? All right. Do we want to rethink how hard you were hitting on her the first couple of weekends? And everyone's like, oh my God.

Yeah. So everyone's like, there's like, oh my God, he brought that up. Whoa, right in front of Craig. And Jess is like, all right, all right, all right, let's hear it this out. So yeah, was I hitting on Paige the first couple weekends? I don't know, I mean like, and Craig's like, well, I mean, she's a pretty girl, I would too. Do you ever try calling her chicken? She really likes that. Hey chicken, hey chicken.

Ah, God, I didn't mean to say that at the table, everyone. I'm sorry. It's embarrassing. She's so tall right now. Too small people. This is so funny because everyone, the women I think take it, like Amanda, as we'll see in a second, takes this way harder.

Being like, oh my God, who says that? Who does that? But men love this shit. It's very different with men. Men are like, yeah, you wanna be my girlfriend? Hot. That's awesome, bro. I won, I win.

I've got a hot girlfriend, you know? Whereas girls are like, you wanna flirt with my husband? I'll fucking kill you, I'll take you down. And guys are like, amazing, thanks for the compliment, bro. I know. And they all know that Cal's just being messy, and so then... And he's literally wasted, so it's kinda sad.

Yeah, and he's like, yeah, I mean, who wants to date someone that people don't wanna ask out, am I right? Yeah, and Amanda, oh wait, so Jesse's like, okay, I guess we'll air that out. So I was hitting on Paige the first couple of weeks, okay? And Kyle's like, well, I thought it would be a funny way to break the ice.

Jesse's like, yeah, really hilarious, Kyle. He goes, yeah, well, I asked Jesse, I was like, Jesse, what's your type? And he was like, yeah, really hilarious, Kyle. He goes, yeah, well, I asked Jesse, I was like, Jesse, what's your type? And he was like, Paige. And I'm like, why would you do that? Why, Kyle? Kyle! The way I'm gonna murder you in your sleep tonight, Kyle,

you have no idea. Why is she flummoxed by this thing? Why is she so, so upset? I mean, Kyle's being messy. She would say that, oh, Kyle's being messy upset? I mean, Kyle's being messy. She, I, she would say that, Oh, Kyle's being messy. And it's embarrassing that Kyle is being messy. I'm like, this is the thing you're embarrassed about. He's sitting here in a mullet and this is the thing that's going to like push

you over the edge. Start with the mullet and take baby steps towards the other things you're bad at. You know what I mean? You have to, you have to tackle one thing at a time. I can see why she was annoyed because you're with your, you know what I mean? You have to tackle one thing at a time. I can see why she's annoyed, because you're with your partner, here we are again, he's sloppier than everybody else at another fucking dinner, he's making an ass out of himself because he wants to avoid his own issues,

and he's trying to embarrass her friend, who now she's gonna have to take shit from her friend, in her mind, which she won't have to, but in her mind she's like, oh God, now you're breaking girl code, and you're not even a girl. And Kyle's like, Amanda, it's funny. Would you relax? Like you wound up like a ball of yarn. Like what's your problem? You've been giving me shit ever since I walked in the house aside from that one kiss you gave me, Amanda.

We're like, okay, well, this was fun. Bye. So Paige gets up and Amanda follows her and then they're in a closet or something and Amanda's like, I am so pissed at Kyle right now. We know Amanda, fuck, we know. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Craig's like, I didn't even know what was happening. By the way, how awesome is Paige? Isn't Paige like hilarious?

Oh my God. And Amanda's like, I just like, I know you've never been so quiet, Craig. And he's like, yeah, well, he was just like, let's think of the most absurd thing I could say to someone and just, hey, man, I just wanted you to know, I'm friends with Shep, so this Kyle stuff is really like, doesn't even phase me at this point.

If you wanna talk about underminers, like, I'm good. Yeah. And so then it cuts to Kyle checking another lover boy. And Amanda's like, Kyle just doesn't think before he speaks. It's like, use your little ears, Kyle. Close your big mouth. Gosh, like Amanda, you might not be wrong,

but like also just leave him. Just leave him because you're really dragging down the show right now. Yeah. So we go to Kyle and Jesse and Jesse's like, um, he's eating still. He's the only one still eating. And Kyle's like, why do you think that Amanda reacted the way she did? Like, what the hell, man? Cause you're a fucking mess and a loser dude. And Jesse's just laughing because like it's obvious, you know, and Kyle's like, I mean, I think she's just looking for reasons to have a hard time.

They give me a hard time. And he's like, I mean, bro, it was kind of outrageous. I mean, you did call me out in front of her boyfriend. I mean, I like it. It was funny. You know, it was an organized, it was organized chaos, which, you know, got kind of a boner, but, uh, still the trailer of the show. So it's cool. Thanks. Garile doesn't laugh. He just like, he's like, God, even Jesse's not on my side. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial. Hey, grownups. The cat in the hat cast is a new podcast from Wondry perfect for the whole family.

Join the Cat in the Hat and your favorite Dr. Seuss characters as they get whisked away on a new adventure every week. Fish dreams of creating his very own polite and quiet podcast. That is, until he gets a surprise visit to his fishbowl podcast studio from the Cat in the Hat himself, and it becomes very clear that the cat has other plans for the podcast. And those plans are the opposite of quiet. Sing along to new favorite songs, try your luck at titanic tongue twisters, have some

fun with wondrous wordplay, and most importantly, bring your family along for all of the adventures in the Cat in the Hat cast. Follow the Cat in the Hat cast on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. So now, West and Sierra upstairs and West is getting changed. She's like, I'm bummed I blew it on my first outfit. She was like, what do you mean? He goes, red's not my color. She's like, yeah, it's not a lot of white people's color. And then you turn red when you giggle.

So, wanna cuddle? Yeah, so they cuddle up and Kyle's like alone and dejected. And then here comes Amanda. He's like in a little side room, you never see anybody in. And then Amanda just comes in and she's like, why did you bring Jesse up at dinner? God, Kyle. Like what the heck, Amanda?

Now everyone's talking about how fucked up it is, Kyle. Like you called him out, like why wouldn't you do that? Oh. Oh. Oh. Amanda, what is your problem? He sounds like an old tape player that's like being eaten up in the car like,

I wanna dance with some blue. Worst. Amanda, what is your problem? He sounds like an old tape player that's being eaten up in the car like, I wanted to have some blue. Worst. So much trauma from that and you have to pull it out and it's all over the place. Yes. Taking tweezers to the inside of the car because that player is the worst.

Be careful with it, we can splice it back together. I'm pissed, you look like a fucking asshole Kyle I'm so so I'm bad. I don't even want to go anymore And he's like oh You should care about so much more than you care about his fucking comic-con And check have some respect Kyle is like He's like, you are literally in, I don't even know a world right now, but you're in it. All right.

And then she's just like mad. She's like, I can't with him. And then she goes into her other room, the star room, the room where there's like the little star machine. Club send it. Club send it. She's in that room whispering to herself and like chugging her rose.

It's like an improvised Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf. It's like Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf by non-actors. Who's annoyed by Virginia Wolf? That's what it is. So now Craig's upstairs, and Craig's like chicken, Kyle and Amanda screaming at each other, and she went after him about the Jesse stuff, and he was like, what the fuck is your problem? Isn't that like hilarious chicken?

Like literally, Craig, that's what happens every day. Are you new here? Jesus Christ, Craig. Craig is such a gossip. He's so excited. He's like, chicken, guess what happened downstairs? I don't care, Craig. He gets so excited to gossip with Paige. I think it's actually really cute. He has the biggest smile. I mean, Craig is very adorable with Paige. When Paige is being funny or has a hot take on something, he always has this big smile. I'll be like, I love when she does this. This is so good.

This is hilarious. Oh, I got some gossip. Oh my God, she's so good. She's basically like me watching Summer House pretending that Paige is my friend. She's basically like me watching Summer House pretending that Paige is my friend. So Paige thinks this is much deeper than just about the, you think?

So then Sierra and Paige check on Amanda and she's like, oh my God guys, I'm just so mad at God. We know Amanda. Thank you for letting every ghost in every room know. She's like, hold on, one more room, I gotta tell the ghost. I'm so mad at Kyle right now. Oh my God. So now Kyle's doing the same thing

because he's just the exact same drama queen. That's why I'm like, I don't know if it's, I think Amanda needs to leave just because he's just as bad, I mean, he's just as bad. He gathers everyone around. He's like, I didn't mean to make a big deal about it, but like there's chitter chatter about it. Why am I in trouble?

CHATTER CHATTER I didn't know there was, oh, there's so much chitter chatter right now. They're like, whatever. And Craig says, oh my God, now Amanda's over there crying. And Jesse goes, I mean, I might cry. Sick segue, Kyle. Wow, Paige Amanda's over there crying. And Jesse goes, I mean, I might cry. Six segue, Kyle. Wow. Page is hot. No malintence. I mean, look, I don't feel bad flirting with her. I mean,

we're friends in a share house and she's cool. She's hot. And taken, which is also hot. Nothing more organized than being in a formal relationship. So now they head out and we get some classic Trixie Monocle. This one's good because it's not just Trixie, it's also Trixie and her friend, Paul. Paul gets a vocal line in this one. He starts, he's like, hey, pretty good. Hello, can you go? Can I see it girl? She's like, okay, watch my face go boom, boom, boom. I was like, do it. I love it. Yeah, she's really breaking all sorts of new ground. So they go to this club, and

it's Christmas in July. And they're all doing shots. And so Kyle and Lindsay are talking. So Kyle pulls Lindsay over to this bar. And this is actually like, amazingly, I love the way this scene is shot, because it almost looks like a film noir or something. They're just at a bar, it's dark, but there's like a glow that's like shining on their faces as they have this conversation and as Kyle goes about trying to destroy Lindsay as best he can.

Yeah, this is why you never feel bad for Kyle because he's always trying to fuck everybody up around him. So he's like, hey, can I have a lover boy, but with a gin floater in it. And she's like, um, Kyle, often I have extreme emotions, whether it's happy or sad, it's extreme, Kyle. And he's like, yeah, you know, okay. I think we talked, I think it was a catfish.

I don't know why I thought that was funny. He was a catfish. You know, the thing that stuck with me was when you said, Kyle, you're biased and you take sides. But it was cowfish, which is the place that they went to last week. Wow. Just because I know someone will say,

actually it was cowfish. So I'm just telling you right now, it was cowfish, not cowfish. Can I ask a question while we're paused? Do people in the Hamptons really dress like this? Or are people on the show cosplaying? Because everywhere they go, you have to wear white every place you go in the Hamptons really dress like this or are people on the show cosplaying? Because everywhere they go, you have to wear white every place you go in the Hamptons.

It just seems- People wear a lot of light colors and pastels. I mean, I think people wear all sorts of different colors. They're more like a dark polo or whatever, but I think this is about right. I don't know, I can't- Gross. I've only visited the Hamptons.

I'm not an authority on it beyond what I see on Barefoot Contessa. Wow, some Easterner you are. I know. I'm sad. I can only speak to Westchester, but not necessarily to the Hamptons. Okay, so back to their talk. So, Kyle's like, I just want you to understand, like I want to just know everybody's point of view. And I hear the pain in both of your voices, you know? I mean, the concerns from his point of view and they look like, and ever since I got serious with Amanda, like he's always wanted to be just like me have a serious relationship, you know? It's like he just looks at my happiness. He wants to copy it. So then he found you and he's like, better marry her, you know, got to do it.

Got to be just like Kyle. But that's what I'm hearing from this is not exactly what he's saying, but this is totally what I'm hearing. Like, yeah, Carl, just, you know, then he saw you and he thought, well, she's pathetic, but I hate her, but guy better get married cause I'm getting old. And so now he's getting married with you, even though it's the wrong thing to do. She's like, uh, she's hearing it too, by the way, Ronnie, it's not just you. She's hearing it and she's sort of smiling, but also like, what the fuck?

And he's like, yeah, I mean like those weddings happening. And he's just like so committed to this thing that he's pushing through some of the red flags or hardships. She's like, red flags. There are no red flags. Everything's perfect. He's like, yeah. So she's like, so what do you mean that he's so committed to seeing it through?

Like that he wants the marriage more than the relationship? Because that's basically what you're telling me right now. He's like, uh, and then we get my favorite sound effect. Brr. And we go to break. And when we come back, can I just say, Lindsay looks terrifying in a Santa hat and the candlelight.

See, this is the scariest scene. I'm actually scared for Kyle, because I'm like, you do not know what you're waiting into. Yeah. And he's like, you know what I'm saying is he loves you, it's just out of desperation. Now, joking aside, he does have a point. He's like, you know what I'm saying is he loves you. It's just out of desperation. Now, joking aside, he does have a point. He's like, I think you guys are just trying to,

you know this isn't working, but you're trying to go through with it because you're on a TV show and you have a deadline and a big televised wedding, but maybe you shouldn't do this, you know? And he's kind of right, but it's Kyle who literally did the same thing two years ago and is still acting like he's the best relationship did the same thing two years ago and is still

acting like he's the best relationship on the show when he never should have done it either. Yeah, well, either way though, he's right though because we've always said, Carl wants the image of being married because he has his own issues. And I think that by being married, it would signify that he's matured, but he hasn't actually done the work to mature necessarily, Although he has matured since his earlier days. But I think Carl is trying to see himself as no longer a fuck boy. He is married, he has settled down, which shows that he's had growth. And so that's what he's going for.

And Lindsay is also just like, Lindsay just wants to have a family. And so she's like willing to like put on her blinders to get to the family part. Right? So Lindsay's like, well see almost settling because you're 40, you know, it's a settling because you're almost 40 things. Yeah. It's like, you don't want to start over and it takes like a long time and it's a process. You want to have babies. So she's like, um, yeah, but like, if I have like one sip of alcohol and then I have an emotion, it's like a problem. Like if I just like happen to drink something and I happen to call him Cogaine Carl,

all of a sudden it's like, whoa, terrible. I can't believe. This is like so offensive because I call him Cogaine Carl. Sorry, I mean, he asked me if I like margaritas. Like if I'm fun, like then he's only fun, but like if I am like something else in me that's like not fun and I decide to process it by like self-medicating and then getting really angry

and then throwing a glass at a tree, all of a sudden it's like, oh my God, like how many drinks have you had? And she's like, if I'm something else, other than like a ha ha ha ha ha, Stanford Wife, then he gets really upset. So I just have to say ha ha ha ha, Stanford Wife. And she's so fucking creepy because she's so intense in the Santa hat and the candlelight. I know.

It's just so beautifully done. But what she's saying here I like because Lindsay is a disaster of a human being and she gets in trouble because she does retaliatory things like she's five years old and call him cocaine Carl and stuff like that. But the germ of what she's saying is, so this guy's sober, it's a problem we've all had with our friends who have sobered up. Well, I've had with my friends who are sobered up.

Is the second you are sober, everyone else around you is an alcoholic or there's like a certain judgment there. And I don't think that sober people do it on purpose and I don't think it's forever. I think it's a new thing when you're concentrating so hard on sobriety. I think it's totally natural to be like that,

to notice just how much everybody around you does drink because it's kind of a shocker. But it's really hard to be around somebody when you're drinking and they're not and they're constantly questioning you. And I get that, but you can't call someone cooking, Carl. No, you can't call your fiance who's in recovery. You can't do that.

And also it's funny that she's like, if I have an emotion other than having fun when I'm getting drunk, it's a bad thing. I'm like, actually that goes for really anyone. If you're getting drunk and you're getting angry, if you're getting drunk and getting emotional and crying all the time, that's actually really bad. That means that you're like, whatever unresolved issues you are dealing with are like coming out when you drink. That's

not a good thing. But that being said, like people have said online, like, I cannot believe the gymnastics that Ben and Ronnie are doing to defend Lindsay. And like, they're really not that, these are not gymnastics. This is like hopscotch because the truth is Lindsay is saying vile things to Carl and she should not be doing it. And just based on those things, they should not be getting married. He should be like, bye, see ya. I don't need this support in my life.

And that's totally wrong for her to do that. But I also, this episode did maybe reflect that those things are not said in a vacuum. This is, I think, the culmination of frustration on her part. And I think that she's frustrated, as said later by my dear friend, Paige, that like, he's not motivated. He's not showing signs of being sexually attracted to her anymore. She's frustrated and she's feeling judged. And so it's manifesting in the worst possible way for her, which is that she's saying these awful, awful things. And she even says right here, when he says like, how many drinks have you had? I basically, I'm like, are you sober? Because it's

her way of striking back. And it's so wrong. And she shouldn't be doing that. But let's just not act like she's doing it because, oh, she's just an inherently evil person. She's doing it because I think she's massively unhappy in this situation. Well, just something that she says here kind of raised my ears a little bit because she goes, he's constantly like, how many drinks have you had? And I'm like, are you drunk? And if you're gonna continue questioning me

and judging me, unless you're perfect, I'm gonna question you on the things you do now. So, that's my question. Like, it's extremely unhealthy. I mean, I get the thing though. She should not do now. So that's my question. It's extremely, it's extremely unhealthy. I mean, I get the thing. I do get the thinking of being like, okay, you've been sober. Congratulations for your year of sobriety, but you were a fucking mess. You don't get to suddenly come in here and judge everybody else. Like, I get the

defensiveness of that. But is she actually saying that he is using? Or do you think she's? No, I don't think she's weed. I think she's saying like, don't judge me because how would you like it if I said it to you? But I don't, I don't think she realizes a, you shouldn't be playing tit for tat with your fiance. Here's where she's really wrong. Like here's where I do defend Carl, because that's not cool. If he's saying these things and you're being hyper sensitive about it,

you should not be coming back to him where it hurts because that's just not fair and that's not nice. And you shouldn't have to do that with the person that you love and are planning to marry. So that's totally wrong on her part. And I think that she's sensitive about being judged, but I think she's also probably hyper sensitive about being judged because she's like deeply unhappy with this relationship and it's made her uneasy and insecure. I mean, they just, the therapy, it's not working. Yeah, so, and also she's just, her bedside manner is just shit, okay,

because this isn't even over yet, this conversation. No. So Kyle goes, okay, so basically you're just giving it back to him is what you're saying? And she's like, yes, I'm like, you wanna give me shit for drinking when I'm not the one who has a problem? I'm like, you wanna give me shit for drinking when I'm not the one who has a problem?

I'm like, oh, let's see. It's not a one for one. It's not like he's in recovery. Like it's not like Ronnie, you got out, went and got wasted and then like said something to judge it to me. So like I came back at you and I was just like, it's someone in recovery. Like you don't just, you just don't do that.

It's so wrong and so nasty. Yeah. Yikes. So, yeah. So she's like, you know, and I don't wanna- I understand why she is driven to the place where she's like retaliating, but she shouldn't be retaliating like this. It's unhealthy and it's rude. So I mean, it's, so it's such a gray murky area.

And I think there's like a lot of nuance to it beyond just being like team Carl, team Lindsay. And there's also, you know, not to belabor this too late, but there's also the stance that, you know what? I think there's something when you're in recovery where you feel like, oh, I'm cool with this. I don't care if anybody else drinks, that's okay. It's okay to say, you know what?

I don't want my partner to drink. Yeah, and he's not been honest about that. It doesn't mean Lindsay has to change herself. It just means I want a partner that doesn't drink and then she wants to drink, go ahead. But it's okay to want a sober partner if you're sober. I'm not saying that he does. I don't know if he does want that.

But I think sometimes there's this pressure to prove that like, I'm still cool. Like maybe I don't drink, but I'm still totally cool with it. And I'm still totally cool hanging around all my friends who drink all the time and you go get wasted until four in the morning. Well, guess what? I'm not. I'm not cool with that. And I don't want to go out and get watch you be wasted until four in the morning anymore, because I'm not drinking now. He's like afraid of losing his friends. And at some point you have to be like, okay, because there are other people out there who are like,

who live the same lifestyle as you. Yeah. And also by the way, there are other people out there who could be just as equally triggered as Lindsay, but don't react with such nastiness. So like everyone could be better. Everyone, these two both need to really just like So like everyone could be better. These two both need to really just like figure it out for both of their fucking lives.

So she's like, I don't wanna cry right now. I didn't come here to cry. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then they just walk away. So now they go back home and everybody's going to bed and Jesse's in the kitchen with Kyle. I don't know if they're sucking lemons. I'm not really sure what they're doing.

And West is cuddling with Sierra. So Jesse and Kyle are talking, and Jesse makes the mistake of asking about him and Amanda. Don't do that to yourself, you know? Like why? Bring up the weather. Anything else, please. Yeah, really.

And Kyle's like, I mean, I get it. She's like mad, but people are like talking about it. So I'm going to like fucking put it to bed right in front of everybody. Um, you know, you start about Jesse and, and Paige, he's like, and then I like, that was my attitude. And dude, she's just like, how could you do this, man? It's like, Amanda. So Jesse's like, well, there's a couple of bedrooms down here. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna pull a curl and Lindsay.

So then, yeah, I'm gonna pull a Carl and Lindsay. Ha ha. So then Jesse is talking about finding a girl for him, and he's like, oh, there was this married chick at the bar. And that was funny, we didn't talk about that part. Jesse walks up to someone, he's like, hey, we're having a party at my house right here. She goes, can we come? And he goes, how married are you? Which is like, wow. Wow, I know. So he's like, whoa, this married are you? Which is like, wow.

Wow, I know. So he's like, well, this married chick is like trying to come over. She said, let me see if my friends will come because otherwise I'll fuck you. I was like, shut up, bro. It's like, yeah, you know, I'm just looking for a girl that I can actually spend time with, you know, I'm just not trying to hook up with these girls, but it just keeps happening. I mean, I can't help it. He's such a fuck boy. Oh, I'm just looking for a girl that I can, you know,

she should be smart and organized, whatever. And then he goes up to a married girl and he goes, how married are you? Yeah. It's not how you're going to find it. And also it's like, wow, you know, I'm willing to date a girl. It's just they just all want to fuck me.

It's so crazy. Yeah. Find one person who just wants a relationship out there. Oh, okay, okay. Commercials, here comes one right now. So anyway, they go to bed. Everyone goes to bed, and now it's Saturday morning. I'm sorry, we get one quick thing into Kyle

where he's like, look, you know, I just, having a fa, Jesse says, I know, but having a family is important to me and I don't want to end up like 40 and still doing this. And Kyle goes, yeah, that's how I felt. I mean, I was 33, not 30, but still. It's like, oh, Kyle, I'm so sad. Yeah.

So this morning and West is lying in bed with Sierra and he's like, dinner was so fucking good. I keep thinking about it made me horny. And he's like trying to kind of get on Sierra. And she's like, mm hmm, sure. And then Paige and Craig have some flirtation in bed. She's like, I don't feel good. He's like, eat a banana. You love bananas. She goes, I love a different kind of bad banana. Ha ha.

Ha ha. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken. I want some chicken. It is storming over here. Jeez. Is it really? Yeah. Wait, can I wanna listen?

Can you hear it? Yeah, that sounds so nice. Turn you to the outside. Can you see it out the window? Yeah. Look how hard it's raining. It's so relaxing. God, I love a good hard rain. Me too. Turn me to the outside. Can you see it out the window? Yeah. Look how hard it's raining. It's so relaxing.

God, I love a good hard rain. Me too. That's great. Slow. Great interlude. Turn this back around. How nice. After all that Carl and Lindsay talked, a nice rainstorm.

Okay. Yeah, wow, God is washing us clean of that discussion. Yep, until the next one in like 10 minutes. So Lindsay gets the text from Carl. He's going to be there at 11 a.m. So Amanda goes into Paige and Craig's room. She's like, are you decent, Craig? I can see your nipples.

Kyle! Sorry, I just wanted to be mad about Kyle for something this morning. Kyle has baby ears and you have baby nipples. I'm so upset now, Kyle. You know and you have baby nipples. I'm so upset now, Kyle. You know who has red small nipples? You know who has red small nipples?

Chickens. Chicken. God. So Lindsay goes into Sierra's room and she's in there with West and Jessie both. They're all relaxing in there. And she's like, oh my God, did you guys even sleep? Because like I've been hearing giggles

and ever since 6 a.m. I forgot what giggles meant because I'm in a loveless relationship right now. And Sierra's like, yeah, by the way, when does Carl come? And so they FaceTime Carl and Jesse's like, Carl Radke. Carl's like, what would Jesse Salmon do? Hey, I'm like 40 minutes away. So he looked great by the way.

He looked great by the way, Jesse. And Lindsay walks out of the room and they're like, wow, that was harsh. Lindsay doesn't even want to talk to her own fiance. Yeah, they're like, wow. That's not good. So then Lindsay is doing the dishes while everyone talks about her,

which I feel like is just her job on the show. She's like, oh my God, I'm doing so great with everybody. And they're like, oh, fucking Lindsay. But this scene actually surprised me because, wow, what a change. Paige and Lindsay are like, team Lindsay. I mean, Paige and Amanda are like, team Lindsay. Never thought I'd see that.

But Paige is like, I'm gonna say something I never thought I'd say before. May I help you? No, Craig. I'm not giving you that kind of a job. Okay. Team Lindsay, like what the hell? I bet you all thought I was gonna say

I love holes in the walls that are made by butter knives. No, I still hate those. I still hate those. You won't hear me say that. And Amanda's like, yeah, Lindsay can get really nasty in her arguments, but clearly she's hurting. And Paige goes, yeah, she throws those blows, but I get that, let's face it.

Craig just laughs and he's like, do you Paige? Do you get it? Do you understand that? Amanda's like, I think it's like deeper issues, like he's not motivated and there's sex life and things like that. Did you hear your last five conversations with Kyle? Stop projecting. It's literally the exact same thing Kyle was saying to her.

Yeah, but also true. Like it's clear, like Lindsay's, Carl is driving Lindsay nuts. So Craig's like, it just doesn't feel like they fit anymore like a pillowcase to a sewing down south pillow. Well, I'm gonna ask her, hopefully dinner during a game, what she actually likes about her relationship. Oh my God, guys, let's play a game right now.

Should I ask Lindsey later what she actually likes about her relationship? Please stop playing games. Get the fuck out of our bed. This is our way to bed now. Go, leave. Walk away Amanda. Only chickens allowed.

The gate is locked. Keep going. Lindsay did it. So then Jesse and Lindsay are in the kitchen talking and they're all like, oh my God, this marriage is doomed. And then it cuts to Lindsay going, I think that my wedding hashtag should be from happy to mind me. in talking and they're all like, oh my God, this marriage is doomed. And then it cuts to Lindsay going, I think that my wedding hashtag

should be from hubby to wifey. Hmm. Yeah, once she's figured out a hashtag, there's no going back. This wedding is happening. But also what is that hashtag? It's a terrible hashtag. Page from hubby to wifey.

So Page is like, I think that like Lindsay needs a friend to be like, hey, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I thought like also maybe something like, hey, something to look into depends at 70, bladder incontinence is something that does happen. So no shame in it, Lindsay. Oh my God, I think my wedding hashtags should be

got the taco contract. Yeah. So, and then Amanda's saying like, yeah, Paige, you were like that. I only care about Lindsay's wedding hashtag, I'm sorry. You can be the rest of the street cat now. That's all I care about. No, but Amanda's saying like,

yeah, you were like that for me, Paige. Remember you pulled me aside and were like, hey, two months before the wedding, if you don't want to do this, you were like that for me, Paige. Remember you, you pulled me aside and were like, hey, two months before the wedding. Um, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. And remember how I ignored that and I'm so happy now. Oh, Kyle, you should just let everybody ignore your advice before they get married. It's tradition. Kyle.

Oh my God. You remember when we had that conversation right after I came up with my wedding hashtag, hashtag, hold on. Oh my God, you remember when we had that conversation right after I came up with my wedding hashtag? Hashtag Kyle. Hold on. Hold on, I'm feeling a lower end car that's not a luxury car, but wants to be one, pulling up in the driveway. Hey everyone, I'm here, my Kia.

Wow, a matte painted car. Wow, a non-lexus. Isn't it funny to have a Lexus contract but then to show up in a Kia every week? That's weird, huh? So Paige is like, yeah, I think that Lindsey might have to put on a certain persona for him. I mean, normally she's like a psychopath smiling

while she stabs you, but now she's like a psychopath just smiling while she calls you cooking, Carl. I mean, okay, it's similar. It's similar, but still. Yeah, I just, I feel bad for her. It's weird. I don't know how I feel about this. So, so Carl shows up in the Kia and Lindsay, of course,

is back into like, we're in love mode and she's like, oh my god, Carl, you made it everyone, Carlito's here, Carlito. Oh wait, no, he's gone, he went off to Barry's. Okay, see you in about two hours. I got us some oil cans and I got us a banner, I don't know what that means, hold on. I got Gats cans, oh a banner.

Yeah, I got us a banner. And I rented an actual car. I'm really going all out for this. I can't wait to park this car in the backyard. It's going to be amazing. Yeah. So the reason I didn't come up on Friday night is because of Lindsay and I's fighting.

And I'm about anything that gets us back into a rhythm. So I'm all about anything that gives us a good time. And people say that I'm like an avoider, but I'm not an avoider. I just wanted to avoid Lindsay for one night of our two night weekend. That's it. So now they're gonna do a Mario Kart day

and like have go kart racing. And I guess he's ordered go karts off Amazon or something. And so then this really hot delivery guy comes with the go karts and Lindsay's like, I'm ready, hashtag not married yet. Then this really hot delivery guy comes with the go-karts and Lindsay's like, um, hey, hey, hashtag not married yet? So then Carl and Lindsay are kissing

and Lindsay's like, Carl seems to be in like a good head space, so maybe the space was good, like maybe having that night off was good, and this is like the last summer before we're married and potentially have kids and gonna have a family and there'll be no issues whatsoever, we're gonna be happily ever after, so let's like enjoy it. Um, this is like the last time we're gonna married and potentially have kids and gonna have a family and there will be no issues whatsoever. We're gonna be happily ever after.

So let's like enjoy it. Um, this is like the last time we're going to get to go-kart without kids. Uh, so then, uh, everyone puts together the parties and the card and, uh, Kyle's walking around and he's going, he's like, Craig, you can see her going to the store. Hey, can you guys give us some pre-made lemon drops? And what's the protein situation like in here? And Amanda's like, Kyle, check the fridge. Use your eyes, Kyle.

I was like, oh my God. So yeah, Kyle's like, yeah, today's about to be a good time. And I just like, don't want to fight with her. And I don't think she wants to fight with me. It's a perfect opportunity to sweep things under the rug. Like, wow, I'm loving the way people are really dealing with their crumbling relationships on this show. Avoidance, avoidance, avoidance.

Sierra and Craig drive to the store and talk about relationships. And I liked this scene. Well, first they talk about Paige and Craig, like should he pay part of the rent to stay? You know, they have that conversation. But then they start talking about West. And you know, she's like, I really just like that guy,

and he goes, yeah, I like that you like goobers. She's like, yeah, I do, I just like to laugh. And they have a conversation that makes me so sad for Sierra, because she's like, dude, this fucking guy, Austin, it never leaves, I dated him on TV, and so still I'm taking shit for dating Austin, you know, and it's like stained me, and I don't want to open up to anybody else,

especially on TV because if he turns out to be another jackass, it's like another decade of me looking like an idiot. Like people are still coming up to me in bars and being like, hi, you're an idiot. You're stupid. People are so mean. I can't believe it.

People are such dicks. It's one thing to say it behind her back, but don't go up to her and actively shame her for the Austin of it all. Yeah. Do it discreetly. Who hasn't had an Austin or two in their lives, you know? Yeah, exactly.

But then I also felt bad, because I was like, oh, it was kind of me, but at least we didn't come up to you in a bar and do it. Yeah. Like we're just on a podcast. Just a podcast. I reserve the right to have that opinion on a podcast. Stop torturing people in bars, you guys.

So they go, they do their shopping, and then they come back with all the booze and everything. And Carl pulls up in a Corvette. He has like a red Corvette because, you know, because it's racing. Today's racing. And then everyone's showering, getting ready for the party. And Paige loves Craig's mechanic look. She's like, this is the sexiest you've ever looked. And then Lindsay's shaming Carl for his nail clippers. Babe, you need new nail clippers, you can't be like flipping your nails with this rusty old shit, especially if this is the summer before we have our family and live happily ever after.

I mean, maybe he's born to someone with a clean nail clipper, Carl. He's like, okay, I'm totally happy with all of Lindsay's opinions today. So then, uh... Not gonna be sad about throwing out my sentimental Nell Clipper, I had some Syracuse. Kyle comes out in his evil Knievel bodysuit and Sierra's dressed like Kristin from Vanderpump Rules. She's the inflated used car parking lot thing

that flaps its arms all around. And she's like, yeah, I'm not gonna do a sexy costume. That would be way too boring and obvious. So people are showing up, you know, it's a party time and everything. And Carl's got like a handlebar mustache going on. And it's just like party, party, party. They're getting this thing together.

I'm like the man that was like, oh my God, look at Kyle. He looks like he was paid to be here. He looks like a character. And so Paige asks Amanda how she is, and she's like, oh my God, I'm so annoyed with Kyle. I mean, I'm trying to tell him he's not fucking funny. And Paige goes, yeah, I like to tell Craig every single day of his life that he's not funny. Gotta keep him humble. Craig's like, I love it when she does single day of his life to be some funny. Got to keep him humble.

Craig's like, I love it when she does that. It's so great. Isn't she hilarious? I'm like, I know. Um, so Paige is talking about her apartment hunt and Craig wanted to contribute and all this. And, and Paige is just like, she just thinks it's weird with much. She doesn't like the boyfriend and money stuff and she doesn't want, she doesn't want to have a boyfriend to hold anything monetarily over her head. And she says that she had a boyfriend and they went out to California for a weekend and she wants to change the flight. And the boyfriend said, when you buy the plane ticket, you can change, you can change what time the flight is. And it was just like a control tactic. I'm like, this is Perry. She is clearly

talking about Perry, right? Because Perry was that boyfriend that she had on her second season on the show, where in the first season, Paige was like breakout star. Everything was about Paige. Then she starts dating this guy, Perry, and then she like vanishes from the show essentially. And she like wasn't even going out to the Hamptons and everything was about Perry and he wouldn't allow himself on TV. I was like, and he was in finance and he was wealthy and he was buying her gold watches. It was totally this guy. This guy totally is the one who traumatized Paige. Well, also she's 20 years old.

I mean, she's so young, you know? So how many, had to be. Had to be Perry. I feel like I've, because I remember at the time I said- I feel like I've known Paige on TV since she was in junior high for Christ's sake. I know.

I remember at the time I was like, I don't like this guy Perry. I feel like he's controlling. So Christ's sake. I know. I remember at the time, I was like, I don't like this guy Perry. I feel like he's controlling. So it's gotta be this guy. Yeah, he was a shit head that guy. Yeah, he was gross. So she doesn't wanna be controlled by money, which is smart.

And Amanda's like, does it bother him that you don't want his money? And Paige is like, well, what about you and Kyle? And she's like, well, like Kyle started a company, but like his money was always in flux. I was the one with the real job and income. Like, oh, isn't Kyle like loaded as hell? I mean, Kyle's one of those people you can't tell

because he's always got a brand new, extremely expensive hundred something thousand dollar car, you know? So is he just being flashy? Is that, but then their apartment and I don't know. I've always thought Kyle was fucking loaded. I always thought so too. And so she basically said that, you know, she says the thing about how she's working part time and then she started working full time at Loverboy, which we all watched this

whole journey. And Paige is like, I feel like he doesn't give you enough credit. And she goes, yeah, and Lee Mincello is my idea. It's like the biggest fucking hit. He goes, oh, he doesn't say that either. Huh. So you know. You should totally stay with him. I can't wait for you guys to have babies. he gets fucking hit. He goes, oh, he doesn't say that either. So you know. You should totally stay with him. I can't wait for you guys to have babies.

So Amanda's like, yeah, like I was really hesitant to quit my job, but it was what Kyle wanted. And like he thought it was the right thing and we talked about it. And I was like, maybe this is the right move. But maybe we were wrong. Then get a job. You know what I mean?

Like who's stopping you? If this isn't working. Then get a job. You know what I mean? Like who's stopping you? If this isn't working, go get a job. Just honestly, my head's gonna explode from this show. Like, okay, you know what? You talk. Okay, so Lindsay is talking to Carl in the kitchen and she's like, by the way, Sierra and I made a sick meal

that you would have absolutely loved if you weren't such a baby and needed to take space for me, your fiance. Oh, and Wes said it was like the best meal of the summer so far. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, eyelash, eyelash on your cheek. Oh.

Oh. So then she blows up, she's like, she blows it off. And he goes, you make a wish? You make a wish? Oh. Everything's great between us. Am I the only one doing blow today, Carl? Hmm, just kidding, Carl.

Like, oh, okay, that was hilarious. So then the guy's outside, they're doing a little tricycle race, and they're going around, and West is winning in this little race. So Kyle Ruffhouse knocks West over, but West is wearing these novelty sunglasses that have pointy edges,

and it cuts his nose, and he starts to bleed everywhere. Yeah, so then Sierra goes to the Hurt tent. The Hurt tent. The Hurt tent. The Hurt tent. And the people who brought you Hurt Locker comes, Hurt tent.

So he's smoking a cigar and she's nursing his cat and stuff and they're being like cute. It's cute. And then he asks her about Austin and she tells him a very shortened version because really nobody wants to tell the long version of anything having to do with Austin in their life, which I totally get.

And he's like, you know, I care about that because I care about her and that fucking sucks that he put her through that. So he's a keeper of this guy. I mean, he's the best. I'm not getting any red flags, which is super weird. I love them together. I'm like, I ship them.

Like they are like the best. When they were cuddling earlier, I was like, oh, I love them together. I'm like, I ship them. Like they are like the best. When they were cuddling earlier, I was like, ugh. I love them. I love when my friends get together like that. You weirdo. I just am so judgy and cynical that I don't really trust anybody news, you know? Like whenever there's, especially on these shows.

Yeah. But I can't find anything. I think he's so cute and sweet. I mean, his teenage boy hair has to go But otherwise, I mean, it's so sweet So then I'm pay just talking to Craig and she's like, um, do you want to sit next to me? Or do you want to just sit behind me? There's only one right answer. It's a trick question. He's like, um Next to me idiot. Okay, cool. So what did you guys talk about? She goes, um me and Amanda

well I talked about us and I talked about how like, you know, me getting a new apartment and you offering to pay some a bit and me saying that, no, you don't have to do that. Like it's, you know, all that stuff is like, okay, cool. I just, I just, when I visit, want to be in like a really cool apartment, you know? No, and she's like, well, I don't want to own man money.

So that's it. And he's like, okay. So she's like, well, I don't want to owe men money, so that's it. And he's like, okay. So she's like, well, we should have these conversations because people get divorced over these conversations. And she's like, if I offered to pay Craig half of his mortgage, he'd be like, no, no, no. But just because the situations are reversed, people are like, oh my God, are you okay?

Do you even love him? Do you even love him? Which is such a good point. How would you take his money? Yeah. It's a good point because for sure people, like it would never be expected for her to chip in for his house.

But like, then it's like, how could you not let the man be a man and support you? So they kiss, West is peeing on the wall. Seriously. Okay, there's a thing. Just stop. You see, I know that Kyle made, do you think this is all okay? No, it's not okay to go into someone else's fucking home and piss all over, all over the place. Gross. Stop. So then, and Sierra sees it and she's like, you know,

there's something about seeing the urine hitting the wall. That's just like really non-pleasant. So, uh, so Lindsay Page and Amanda sit down together and Amanda's like, hey, Lindsey, how's it been going today? Kyle's really annoying me in case you were wondering. And she's like, well, good. And they're like, it's not Friday. She was like, yeah, it's not Friday.

It's not all weird. I know. And Paige is like, I just wanna say thank you last night for being so open and honest in your room He goes, yeah, it's not Friday, so we're gonna. And then Page is like, I just wanna say thank you last night for being so open and honest in your room because I didn't want you to feel like we didn't give a shit that you just said some really, really intense things. And then he's like, what was intense?

I told you. He just told you that we don't have sex and Carl never initiates it and he has like limb tick and he has like no job and no prospects and he just sort of like, we're kind of in a loveless place. I don't really think that's that intense. Babe is like, you're getting married and you don't have sex.

So that's, that's intense. She goes, huh, okay. It's like, okay, I got it. So they're like, but you're so vulnerable, Lindsay. And you talked about what you were going through and Lindsay's like, yeah, you know, look, last summer was uncomfortable because there was so much tension and so much judgment and every, which also Lindsay was totally caught. Wait, was last summer the

Austin summer or was that the summer? No, last summer was her and Carl being in love and Danielle spiraling. Right, right, right. So, um, God, she's had some messy summers in this house. Jesus. Not some. She just has messy summers. Summers. So she's saying, you know,

I think every relationship is different and I've never been in a relationship where, like, you know, I've had a sex problem or I dated a sober guy or I was in love with someone who clearly was not interested in me anymore. I've been through a lot. And so Amanda tries to pussyfoot around. She's like, do you guys think you move too fast?

And she's like, hmm. Lindsay says, I think he thought that going into this relationship, if I was in a relationship, I was going to change. And Paige goes, but to what? And Lindsay's like, I don't know. Like, what else would I be? Well, not a younger woman, that's for sure. And Amanda's like, I don't think Carl is like, she's gonna change for me. I think Carl thought that because we're like, madly in love and we're gonna get married, that she's gonna have a little bit more respect for me,

but like, or treat him differently from anyone else. Which if Carl did think that, that's hilarious to think that Lindsay would. Ever ever seen married people? What model did you pull that from? Because I've literally never seen that. Wow, you know, they were a real asshole until they got married and then they just were suddenly so nice.

No, I think marriage can push your buttons so much that it makes you more annoyed. You know, I think it's more work. So probably obvious, right? Yeah, Jesse's talking to Carl and Jesse's like, hey, we missed you last night. And Carl's like, yeah, well, the last two Fridays, Lindsay, like, I'm not gonna lie, haven't been great.

And it's just like, I feel like I'm doing my best, but I've learned a lot of really important things in couples therapy. Basically, I'm 100% wrong and I'm fully willing to take responsibility and I'm going to go to anger management because apparently like I'm just like so angry all the time. It's like scary, right? So I'm just going to like do, do fix this part about me and like anger management.

But he does have that issue. That's the thing. It's not just coming out of nowhere. He fights. This is what makes me crazy. The conversations like, well, I'm totally to blame too. But they only see this one side of Carl. Lindsay is crazy, like I say every week, she's crazy out loud. They don't see the other side. So he's like, yeah, you know, anger management. And Jesse goes, but do you think you're angry?

Cause I don't see an angry person. Well, yeah, you don't. Cause you're not in the relationship with him. Why the fuck would you? You're some bro. You're a fellow tall bro. Who's like youthful and getting laid. He's not going to show you that side. You've been here five minutes, sir. That's true. You have been here five minutes, Jesse. That being said though,

a lot of the season when we've seen the arguments, you see Carl saying, you know, being like, I was like disappointed. Why are you yelling at me? So she, Lindsay often says that Carl is like yelling and rageful when it doesn't seem like he is. And then that, when he, she does that, that makes him kind of snap. I don't know. I think this couple is so fucked. This couple's fucked. Yeah. So the guys are basically it's all the guys. They're like, well, just make sure you're not the only one making changes. Like, you know, cause like,

Lindsay is the outwardly nuts one. So please make sure she's doing something too. So then Paige is like, listen, I feel like I've never said this before. And Lindsay's like, may I help you? No, why does everybody want me to be in service? Wait, wait, no, I got it. Guys, don't worry about it.

I'm gonna do the dishes. Is that what you're about to say? No, never are disgusting. I'm done with this conversation. She goes, well, look, in this situation, I'm on your side and you two will get into a fight. And then everyone's like, oh my God, how's Carl? I feel so bad for Carl, which is exactly what's happening.

That's true. I 100% agree with this too. I know it sounds like I'm taking both sides, but that's because there's a lot of, again, this is a nuanced situation where both sides actually have a lot of points that I think are completely valid. But in this case, I 100% agree with this. I think that every time there's an issue, everyone is coddling Carl and I think there's just more to it. Right. So that's happening right now with the guys across the yard.

So Lindsay's like, yeah, cause I'm the vocal one, I'm the louder one, so I'm the one to blame. And which I love, I love being validated, even if it's by Lindsay. And so Carl's like, you know, I know couples fight and we're like every other couple, but what point is the fighting healthy and when is it not healthy?

And Craig's like, well, have you guys thought that maybe you could push the timing of this wedding up? Uh, yeah. Well, one of our first fights about the wedding was like, I was like, Hey, let's do January. And she was like, no. And Jesse's like, I feel like it's not our place to give you advice because you're a grown man. And I'm just seeing the situation for the first time. But what we're getting at is it just feels very soon to be getting married given the complications slash you guys hate each other. Yeah.

And then Lindsay's like, I mean, there's like miniature flags but they're not like red enough to be like, I don't want to get married. I mean, they're like maroon, that's red is, you know? Or purple. Little maroon like flag that you put on top of a sandwich to keep it together, but like not like banners. And Paige is like, okay, I have to say this

because I said it to Amanda the month before she got married. Are you sure? Because if you're not, it's way easier to call off or postpone a wedding than it is to get divorced two months later, especially when there's a Kia involved. I mean, look at Amanda, she's sitting right here. Just look at her. Do you want to be like that?

Look, look. Look at she's sitting right here. Just look at her. Do you wanna be like that? Look, look. Look at Evil Knievel over there, shotgunning a yellow lover boy while he pisses in someone else's backyard. And now look at Amanda. Now back to Evil Knievel. Now Amanda. And now put your faces, do mental Photoshop,

put your faces on it. Do you want that to be you? Do you? You in danger, girl. All right, put Ariana. Ariana's even here to be you? Do you? You in danger, girl. All right, well, Ariana's even here to warn you. Oh my God, it's my hero, Ariana. Ariana, Ariana. Ah!

So to be continued, to be continued. I mean, it is comforting knowing that they will break up because we keep on saying, this relationship's gotta end. This has gotta end, and it's nice to know it does end, but man, total dysfunction. And then, you know, like, and that goes for both relationships happening in this episode. This is a lot. There's a lot of terrible relationships. My God.

I know. I mean, at least give us some fresh, terrible. These are stale, terrible relationships. I need a fresh pain. You know what I mean? I'm a Bravo watcher. I don't need the same pain. I need fresh pain deliveries. You know what I mean? I'm a Brawl Ball watcher. I don't need the same pain. I need fresh pain deliveries. It's coming soon. Everybody, thank you so much for being with us. Have a great weekend.

We will talk to you next week. Go get tickets for our European tour and our Los Angeles show in May. And we'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King. Ashley Savoni. Bye! Jamie, she has no less namey! Hava Nagila Webber! Know your worth with Jason Kurtz!

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