Watch What Crappens - #2382 Summer House: The Only Living Flower Boy in New York

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

This week on Summer House (S08E07), after ten years of friendship and ups and downs, Carl bestows Kyle with the very special title of… flower boy. Plus, Amanda really wants to move to New Jersey, and Paige has possibly the very best weekend of her entire life. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap In's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me today is the hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Hi. What's going on on this fine Friday? Well, welcome to our, nothing much is happening.

I'm just happy that it's our final recap of the week and then we have the weekend to dive into. We get to end with Summer House, which has been so good this season. Before we dive in, we got some live shows. We are doing London, Dublin, and Birmingham, and that's over in Europe. So that'll be late May. And then in a month, less than a month on May 3rd, we're gonna be doing Netflix is a joke in Hollywood, Hollywood Los Angeles, not Hollywood Florida, but Los Angeles at the Kukubara Lounge. So get tickets for all those things by going to watch or crappens.com.

Also be sure to join us on Patreon where you can sign up on the Crapids on Demand level and you can watch us, not just listen to us, you get access to our weekly bonus episode. We did a recap of the House of the Dragon trailer that was dropped recently, so we do a trailer trash on that. We will be recapping that show when it comes back on HBO later this year. So go check that out and get the full, full, full Crappens experience. So today we are back in the land of Summerhouse watching two separate couples that hate each other

somehow trundle through this summer and attempt to love each other. Yes, so let's get into her, shall we? So we left off with Paige and Amanda gathering around Lindsay to warn her that she doesn't have to get married. Let her know, like you don't have to do this. And Lindsay's like, oh, they're like little miniature lams,

they're not like red enough for me to be like, Oh, they're like little miniature lams. They're not like red enough for me to be like, I don't want to get married. I mean, he's made me a sandwich before so that's a good step. Like maybe it's like naive of me to think this, but like just like the growing pains and stuff. But like, I don't think it's just growing pains. Like we're both willing to work on it, which is like half the battle. It's like, yep, it's gonna be great. Yeah, you're not naive at all right now, Lindsay. Yeah, and you shouldn't have to work this hard, right?

No. There should be no battle. I mean, maybe if you've been together for a long time, but this is too hard. But she says it's half the battle. There should be no battling in the first place. There should not be artillery on the field. Really, cause this show really does make it look horrible

to be in a couple. And I think a lot of it is because they all feel such pressure to be in couples. Like on these shows where they have to couple up, they're like, well, better fuck somebody. I mean, it's especially like that on Winter House where it's like, if you're not fucking somebody, you are out, you know?

And so they get this desperation about them. And I think that it's like the trying to hook up, it just leads to pain. You know, look at The Bachelor this desperation about them. And I think that's like the trying to hook up, it just leads to pain. You know, look at The Bachelor. Is anybody on that show happy? No. No. I mean, some of them are still married.

I don't know that they're happy though. Maybe they are, I don't know. Well, I will say this, that on Summer House, Summer House does remind you that like, people in couples can be very miserable, but you know who's not miserable. You know, who's having the best time of their lives page. Cause she is just surrounded by mess and she is just in a gossip fever dream

right now. And she like the way she just gleefully bounces around from scene to scene and it's like everything she sees, she's like, Oh my God, Oh my god oh my god oh my god there's just there's just more and there's more and there's more oh my god I don't even know who to tell there's just so much to gossip about at any given moment she is like she is having a very happy season I've never seen Paige this light and airy I'm glad you see it too because I was like wow is Paige always like this I mean it's not like she's usually miserable she's usually having fun but she's usually got like kind of a more reserved eye roll-y fun. And this time she's like partying. I mean, she's got Lindsay in pure misery, but also I think she's finally discovering that

being friends with Lindsay is more fun because you get like a front seat to the dysfunction. Pete Slauson Yeah. Jared Slauson You're not just watching it from afar. Then she's got Craig, who's kind of doing whatever she wants at this point. And then you've got a hot guy in love with her. You know what I mean? She's got like a hot guy who's younger and taller than Carl and probably would not relegate her

to Wednesday dates. I mean, she's just, she's killing it all over. She's killing it. She's really like, she's having her moment. So she says- Now I will tell you, she's dressed in one of these diary room sessions, I wanted art for my room one time in LA

and I couldn't think of, you know, art's hard to pick. It's like, do I match the room? Do I match the colors? I'm not good with picking art. And also I'm not rich, so it's always getting stuff from Ross. So I got some pictures from Ross and I was like, these look terrible.

So I took brown paper from Ross and I was like, these look terrible. So I took brown paper, like brown wrapping paper, you know, paper, just brown paper. And I crumpled it up. And then I paper macheted over the canvases and like kind of swirled them. And that was the art. And that's how Paige is dressed. It's like she just looks like my Ross dress for less It's like she just looks like my Ross dress for less paper mache art. So that's not great, but otherwise, I mean, 10 out of 10, having a great season. So she's like, I get that relationships are hard work,

but at some point like punch out. Like I think deep down, Lindsay just knows she shouldn't marry this guy, but I think she wants this like fairy tale of like, oh, he was my friend for so long and I got fucked over by so many guys and then we met and it sounds like so beautiful And like I so would watch that in lifetime and I really would but this is like real life and you guys like don't like Each other so I mean, it's great. Keep doing it. I love it. It's like so fun, but for me, but bad for you But fun for me. I'm so's like, here is to know fight Fridays.

And now Craig is giving Carl some advice. He's like, um, hey, Carl, just like, don't let it get to a point where like, um, you like start to resent like an imbalance of effort, you know, cause no, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Dot dot dot dot dot. I hate this narrative. This still makes me crazy with Karl. It still is making, he's doing it a lot in this episode where it's like, oh, imbalance of effort. Yeah, yeah, it's really tough on me. I can't with the imbalance of effort thing. Listen, you can say a lot about Lindsay, but she makes an effort, okay?

She's, maybe it's way too much. I think of Lindsay as an overabundance of effort. Like it's much effort is more effort than this shit requires, you know, and Kyle's like, you know, the concessions leads to resentments and resentments will destroy your relationship. I'll go have another fucking drink. Grandpa, Jesus Christ, the dude lighten up on the lover boy. All right. You're, you're in your own stash. Watch snow and get back to me. Snowfall. Watch snowfall on FX and get back to me. Mullet. You know, concessions lead to resentments and resentments lead to the suburbs.

Uh, so, uh, suburbs lead to movie days on Saturday, which leads back to concessions. The end of the day is all calories. And then I just got to Lindsay. They're these little go-karts that we saw them assemble last week and Lindsay's on one and she just like speeds across the yard and then like spins out into a, it's like a break. She like drifts or something. And that was awesome. You did so good. You did so good. It's like a break. She like So he was like supporting me saying like,

things are going great, but like this one, Lindsay's psycho. So it's not really apples to apples. So then Jesse Solomon tells Carl is like, for the record, I love you, man. I mean, I just met you like three weeks ago, but I love you and I love Lindsay. And I've enjoyed getting to hang with her, but I just want to make sure you guys are gonna be good together, you know? And Kyle's like, yeah, thanks man, thanks man. Oh hey, hey, Lindsay, good job.

She just did a figure eight. Yeah, she's so good, we're in love. I actually, sorry, I'm just sitting with Kyle, what Kyle said. I think Kyle and Lindsay have a lot more in common than he thinks. I mean, I think their situation is both, like, we're getting old, and this is it.

I'm gonna marry what's right in front of me. Yes, this is it. What if I don't what's right in front of me. Yes, this is it. What if I don't find it? And I'm not saying that the person that they want to marry isn't good enough. I just think it's a glaringly obvious that it wasn't right in both situations. And they're like, I'm going to make it work. Cause I'm old. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think for Kyle, it's like, I'm going to make it work because I need a graphic designer.

So there's like more go go carts and flip cup and high fives, like fun stuff. And Kyle, like, wants to ride the tricycle into the pool, be like evil, can evil and everything. And then Carl's like, now he's on a go cart and he goes up to Lindsay's like, Hey, I want to ride. She's like, Oh, yeah, I'm going to sit on you. Don't ball in the pool. We're so in love. Yeah. So they make a ramp to push't fall in the pool. We're so in love.

So they make a ramp to push this thing over the pool into a ramp and Jesse's hitting on a girl. He's like, do you model? Cause I would buy whatever you're modeling. And then Kyle's doing his thing and Kyle, Kyle goes up the ramp and he goes in the pool. He does it and everything. So then Paige and Craig are now in a room. Time to gossip.

So I'm just saying these people are sadder, not Craig and Paige, but the people at the party, don't they seem much sadder every year? Yeah. I feel like it used to be like, oh my God, look at all these hot people at the Hamptons. And now it just looks like Tom Sandoval invited everybody. Yeah, they are.

It's weird. So Paige is like, hey Craig, you know what we should do? We should do like my Saran wrap prank now. So that like when everyone's like wasted and like trying to go into their rooms, they'll just like smack right into it. Wouldn't that be hilarious? He's like, I don't even know what it means, but yeah, let's do it. So they're going to start putting a Saran wrap on doors that like people won't see. This is stupid. And also it made me furious for the landlords.

Because what are you doing? Pinning it into the door frames, like nailing it? What are you doing? How are you getting it to stick there? You're putting something into the wood. They put tape, they put tape up, I saw it. It was tape? Okay, tape's acceptable.

But the other thing that they're supposed, the Saran Wrap prank, the Saran Wrap prank is to Saran Wrap the toilets. And then when people go sit down to pee or whatever, they pee all over themselves, duh. Or isn't there also, you can like Saran Wrap the floor and then you put like Vaseline on it and they walk in and slip, but that's probably dangerous.

Yeah, I guess that's, I guess mine would have pee pee everywhere and yours would have murders. So, you know what, you guys go back with your tape. You're good wholesome kids. So then Amanda goes up to Kyle and she's like- Isn't it where you wait until someone's sleeping and then wrapped their head in saran wrap and watch them suffocate?

The most dangerous pranks ever. So Amanda goes up to Kyle and she's like, go change, go change. And he's like, can we hang out? Yeah, but be different though, cause this isn't doing it for me. I can see your little penis head, go change. Here's the problem with Amanda.

She's explicitly stating her desires for Kyle and they're never gonna come true. Her saying go change, it's been years now. He's not going to change. Whether it's clothes or personality, I think it's time to exit this highway. It's so funny though how she's like, this is positive Amanda, cause she's like being fun and flirty.

She's like, Kyle, look how fun I'm having, how much fun I'm having now. And that's why alcohol always needs to be in this relationship, because she has to be wasted to like be okay with Kyle. Right. So, Paige and Craig are doing their Saran Wrap thing, and then they can't just wait for people to run into it,

because what fun is that, you know? So they start bringing, they're like, hey, you need to come up to our room. Sierra, Sierra, you need to come up to the room. We have something really important to tell you. Don't look straight ahead. Just kind of look down when you come into the room. Do it really fast though. Walk fast and authoritatively around the corner. So Sierra walks in and just like walks under the saran wrap because the saran wrap is like very obviously saran wrap in a doorway. It's like very obviously an obstacle at face level. So she's like,

you think I'm not going to see that you dumb asses. I'm in my giggle era. So then they're like, okay, let's try this again. That was a direct threat to Hannah. Didn't you? I was like, I'm coming for your spot on giggly squad. Yeah. I think she was like, I'm coming for you next. Um, uh, Hannah. Also, if you guys are going to Saran wrap doors, you need to not wrinkle the Saran Wrap.

That's the thing. Keep it wide. That's a tall order though, isn't it? It's very hard to do. But don't have Craig be in charge of the ripping Saran Wrap. Have you seen Craig try and open a bottle of wine? Don't leave him in charge. Well, you know that they probably put it up, Paige probably put it up and it was pristine and barely visible and Craig's like, that looks great. And then you probably walked right into it

and dented it all up. It's like, chicken, you're not supposed to actually fall for the prank that you just set up. Sorry, you just did it so good. Actually, I wouldn't assume that Paige is great with Saran Wrap either, for some reason. She doesn't seem like a, you know what I'm gonna do? Keep this for tomorrow.

I just don't see her doing that. If anything. I don't think though that she likes wrinkled fabric or materials though. She's like, she's literally wearing my Ross dress for less. Okay, I take it back. I take it back. You did make, you did mention this.

So then they're like, okay, it didn't work with Sierra. So let's get someone who's really wasted and probably doesn't understand what's going on. So they're like, Kyle, Kyle, come up here. So Kyle comes up and then they don't even decide to like chance it. Sierra grabs him and just like shoves him into the Saran wrap.

He's like, you thots. So now Amanda and Wes are hanging out talking about his hurt nose that jealous Kyle caused when he saw somebody going faster and blonder than him and pushed him. Honor. And yeah, and so Amanda's saying that Wes and Cierra are getting to know each other on a different level

by living in the same house. That's like really cool and stuff. And then Wes is saying how, you know, they're more than just friends, but they're going really slowly. And you know, he understands why, but he didn't come in the house to be celibate. Although he's fine. He's fine doing it with her, being a celibate with her, but he's also a warm blooded man. So he's like, yeah, you know, I mean, Kyle's telling me like, what are you thinking? And the man goes, just ignore Kyle, Kyle's trash. She's so mean.

Like, I'm sorry, Kyle is no angel, but like, she's, like, I literally, I would never, I can't even imagine saying that about Dom. Like, I literally cannot. This is just how some people live. Listen, I don't like it either. It's extremely uncomfortable to watch, but people have different love languages.

And this is one. My parents have this kind of love language where it's just like constant, like you're an idiot. And he's like, God, I love her. I mean, I don't understand it really, but it's their thing. I don't know what they would do without each other. That's like a love letter from my mom

as being like, you fucking moron, I told you this would happen. He's like, oh my God, are we renewing our vows right now? I love you. She's like, you know what? Just because Kyle's married doesn't mean he knows what he's talking about.

Just have fun this summer. Don't put pressure on anyone or have anyone put pressure on you. Kyle! Sorry, just had to burp that one out. By the way, Amanda is constantly putting pressure on every single person. So Wes, how's it going with Ciara? Are you committed to Ciara yet? Are you going to marry Ciara? What if Ciara wants to have babies?

Are you going to have babies? Are you ready to have babies? What if Ciara's pregnant right now? Come on, now. Wes, do you wanna move to New Jersey with me? Come on, we could be near my mom and dad. They're gonna make you Capri Sun drinks. Kyle and Carl are driving in the Corvette. And Kyle's like, could you imagine?

Like, imagine it's like 1986 right now. And Carl's like, oh, this isn't 86. He's like, could you imagine? Like, imagine it's like 1986 right now. And Carl's like, oh, this isn't 86. He's like, it isn't 86. He's like, oh, it isn't 86. That's the same year that Lindsay was born. Crazy, right? Sorry to interrupt. I'm just on the lawn.

Did you mean to say 26, like 1926? Or did you mean 86? Just wanna remind everyone, Lindsay's really old. Honestly, when we're talking about Lindsay's age, it could be any one of those Yellowstone spinoffs, and I would believe it. When you said Lindsay was born in 86, or do you mean she is 86?

Just wanna clarify for future shade. It's like, okay, I wanna talk to you, because Lindsay and I are getting married on November 17th. By the way, you're getting married during people's Thanksgiving breaks. That's not cool. Yeah, that's a good marriage. Yeah. Well, it's like it's actually I'm not mad at this because it's before Thanksgiving. It's not on Thanksgiving. I don't think Thanksgiving was the seventh. You know, I actually want to go see when Thanksgiving was.

But people have to travel for Thanksgiving the next week. So it's like they have to go to your thing and then they have to go to that thing. That's too, that's too, that's too much. Thanksgiving in 2023 was on, not, not the movie. I don't care about the movie. When is, it was November 23rd. Oh, that's, so see what I mean. Wait a second. I'm scrolling. This really bothers me. Okay. 17th. Okay. So this, this is the weekend before Thanksgiving. Yeah,

that's shitty because you're traveling that whole Thanksgiving weekend. It's like a half a week. So you have to go to this wedding the weekend before, and then you have just have too much time off. You know what? It's, you know what? It screams up to me. It's probably not a weekend that many people have weddings because of the things that you just said. It's Wednesday. Which meant that probably,

it's probably like, oh, like the, you know, Cabo San Lucas, you know, holiday, offered us a special for this room. They probably got a good deal. Someone probably reached out and was like, we'll give you like a free, free something or another. If you, you know, give us ample promotion and all your wedding materials.

They were supposed to get married in Mexico. So you're making everybody fly to Mexico and then they're supposed to get back and then travel again for, that's too much. You guys are selfish. And I'm glad it didn't work out there. I firmly believe, I firmly believe that there, yeah, I hate weddings on vacation weekends. I think that's like the worst thing you can do. And I understand the logic of, oh, okay, well, this way you don't have to take off work. But the point is that like, I think people would actually

love an excuse to take off work and then also have a vacation weekend. So like don't ruin people's vacation weekends. Don't do it before Thanksgiving. Cause the issue with Thanksgiving is that the Thanksgiving weekend starts basically on Tuesday or Wednesday. So that's annoying. So people just be mindful when you plan your fucking weddings. Here's what we should do. We should learn from COVID. Get married on zoom. Okay. Just get fucking married on zoom and send us all some door dash to watch it while you're there. Okay. I can give I can give you a shitty speech from the comfort of my own home. I'm in. Suddenly I love weddings again. It's time

for commercial. It's time for a crap ens commercial. Okay, so they're talking about Lindsay being born. Okay, so it's like, oh, so we're gonna get married on November 17. I really wanted you to be part of our wedding. So get this, get this. Hold on. Hold on to that mullet. Big boy. All right. More life, more life coming. I would like to ask you, Kyle, to be my flower boy, my wedding. What do you think about that? Yeah, we got Andrea and Luke and Neil Slotroyce and the hilarious and Kyle's like, Oh great. So, uh, two models and me. Uh, so, uh,

so you have a group, you have grooms men, but I'm not a grim's man. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. You're a flower boy. A flower boy. You're a flower boy. Boy. You're a flower boy. You're a flower boy. Boy. How's that? Well, deciding on Grimsman, it's been a little bit of a process.

And this is what he's telling us. I have a lot of friends, and the producer says, well, is it a demotion? Feels like a demotion. And he's like, well, look, I mean, this is like how I really deep down feel.

Lindsay didn't want Kyle to be a Grimsman. So did it come out of her mouth? I didn't want Carl to be a grimsman. So did it come out of her mouth? I don't want Carl to be a grimsman? No. But because of what Carl, see what Carl fucking does. This is such a dick move of Carl coming on TV and acting like, oh, this is all Lindsay. I had nothing to fucking do with it.

Really do not remember Carl coming on last year and telling everybody that you had what he's done for you and how coked out you were at Loverboy and shitting all over you the same year all this shit was going down with you. Do not remember that. Do you remember how Kyle has not supported your fucking relationship for one second and you're acting like this is all Lindsay? I'm sure Lindsay didn't want Kyle to be your groomsman and I'm sure you 100% agreed with that. But now that you know you're having your escape season,

you're gonna come up here and try to victimize yourself. Like you're just, oh, poor, innocent Carl never makes any bad decision in his life. It's all that witch in his life. What are you gonna do without a scapegoat, Carl? What are you gonna do, Carl? I, yeahat? Carl? What are you going to do? Carl? I thought this was weak sauce as they say. Uh, because if Carl had said, listen, I love Kyle,

but what he said last season, it kind of, it really messed me up. That really damaged that damaged a lot of things. And I understand that I was in his wedding, but that it's hard for me to put him in like a high level at my wedding. I've been like, okay, I get it. But the fact that he sort of doesn't say that he's like, well, I know Lindsay does want him and like, she didn't even say it, but I could just like tell it's so it's just like passive aggressive and just like passing the buck. And just like, it's so non confrontational in such a gross way. I just think it's like shitty. I think it's actually really shitty to shitty to Lindsay and shitty to Kyle. Yeah. He's just, he's so bad. He's literally just

walking from group to group like, I'm just an innocent little victim and building his case against Lindsay, who by the way is an easy person to build a case against because she's a fucking nutcase, she's Lindsay. And by the way, I actually think that Lindsay would not tell Carl not to have Kyle as a groomsman. I really don't think she would do that. I think she would be like, oh really? And you think he should be a groomsman after how he treated our relationship

and after last year how he called me a bitch in front of everybody, because they show a clip of that later. Um, I can see her a hundred percent doing that, but I could also see Carl being like, you're totally right. And he would be justified in saying, listen, I know that I was in your wedding, but I supported your wedding and you don't really support mine. Like, let's face it. You don't.

Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. I can imagine Lindsay saying all those things, but I also, I just don't, in a weird way, I don't see Lindsay saying like you're not allowed to have them. I think she would say like, you can have whatever you want. And she would voice whatever, but like, Well, he's saying that he's saying she didn't literally say that he couldn't do

it. Yeah. But I think that what bothers me is that like, he is just taking himself out of the equation in this situation. If he even, if he had even said, you know what, I, I, I believe that Kyle like it would make, it would make my fiance uncomfortable to have Kyle as a groomsman after what he said. So I'm doing this because even though she said, I don't have to, I'm doing this because I want her to be comfortable. That would be better, but not just like,

oh, well, she doesn't want it. She didn't say it, but she doesn't want it, so I'm not gonna do it. It's like, really? That's just so shitty. It's very Teddy from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Like, oh, well, she didn't tell me to bring the dog stuff out on camera and attack Doreen,

but I knew that she wanted me to. It's like, oh, okay. Okay, Teddy. I mean, when you're getting compared to Teddy by me, that's pretty low. And I think in general, I like Carl, and I see the rough times he's gone through and all that, but I just don't, Carl's, this whole turn by Carl is,

I'm just not fucking buying it, I'm sorry. And by the way, honestly, I do think it's shitty that Kyle is not a groomsman, even if he's not supportive. he doesn't have to be best man. He doesn't have to officiate, but like the fact that he's not a groomsman, I think it's like, I think that's shitty. Yeah, Kyle said like a dick, said a dick thing about he called Lindsay a psycho. Yes, the cocaine moment was really reprehensible, but they also like squashed it. They talked it out. And the truth was that like, Kyle has really been there for Carl for many years. And I just,

I think it's shitty. I think it's really shitty all the way around. Yeah. But don't you see what this does? Carl's saying, well, you can't be a groomsman. And he's not saying that Lindsay didn't, you know, he's like hinting that it's Lindsay or whatever. And so now it's like villainizing Lindsay even more. So when Carl makes his escape, I mean, he's really laying down the foundation pretty well,

I think. So I guess you're leaving the party and Lindsay and Carl are flirting. It's like, what is your favorite thing that you did today, Carlito? And he's like, honestly, it was opening up the door and seeing your face. And then Lynn's like, no, I was like, serious.

I was excited to see you. And she's like, oh my gosh. She does this weird squeaking bubbly laugh. I can't even do it. So she's like, I'm just a girl, a girl who's in love. And he's like, I'm just a man who can think of nothing but his lady. By the way, you talked about here about how you're like, I can't imagine the, the owners of the house watching the saran wrap go up on the door for me. I had that experience here with page riding around in the go-kart indoors and smashing

into the waynscotting. Waynscotting. Yeah, she's like, I love this house. Boom! Like slams right into the brand new stuff, the brand new floorboards or whatever. Drunk driving in the kitchen. So then we see Jesse FaceTiming some girl.

He's like, hey, it's me, Jesse. Show me a nip. Show me a n nap. Come on. Show me your boobs. And then, um, page is Craig is like chicken. I'm tired. Me too. Chicken. I'm tired of this grandpa. How did you do this week after week with like the same people and everything? I'm like, sir, you're on the Southern charm. You go to a cabin with a chef and Austin, like every other episode.

Yeah. So Kyle is snacking, because he's Kyle. And then we go to Lindsay and Carl in their room and she's like, meme, meme. He goes, oh, let me go. I was like, sleepy Joe? Are you sleepy Joe? She's like, oh my God, meme.

He's like, I'm bad. Meme. Meme. Meme. Meme. Meme. Meme. Remember when I used to say, I'll love you to the moon and back? He's like, man, man, man, man, man, man. Remember when I used to say, I loved you to the moon and back.

I don't believe that anymore, but anyway, babe, love you. I love you to the sleepy Joe and back. Put your sleepy, wait, put your sleepy Joe on me. Now Jesse's like in bed, like half asleep, just still FaceTiming with the girl going, let me see your tit. He's like, lazy boobs. So just with straight boobs.

So then Amanda calls Paige from her room and she's like, did you surround around my door? It was just around my door handle. I think you did it wrong. This was done so poorly. I thought Kyle did it. Kyle. Paige goes, yeah, I surround wrapped your door and Kyle ran right thought Kyle did it. Kyle. And Paige goes, yeah, I saran wrapped your door

and Kyle ran right the fuck into it. And he was not pushed into it whatsoever by Sierra. It was a great prank and everyone loved it. So now Amanda calls Kyle and she's like, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm eating cherries and listening to some Hans Zimmer. God, I kind of feel bad for the people in that house.

Cause we, you know, obviously all the licensed music, they edit out, but you know, people are sitting up there listening to fricking the inception soundtrack while they're trying to go to sleep. Cause Kyle's blasting it in the kitchen. It just, the, just the fact that Kyle is going through it to that level, that he's in the kitchen drunk eating cherries,

which is healthy, and listening to Hans Zimmer, which is not techno. What is going on with him? That's just wild. What's the, oh, nevermind. Go ahead. So yeah, people are going to sleep and everything, and Wes knows a little achy, and then Sierra goes,

you know, I liked Clay Aiken back in the day, which is funny, because you were just talking about Clay Aiken on the Valley. Oh yeah. Maybe that's why it came into my head. Yeah. So it's the next morning, everyone wakes up and Paige is like, did you have a fun, did you have fun this weekend? Chicken? He's like, yeah, thanks for having me chicken. You're welcome chicken. Inviting me to play with all your friends chicken.

They're pretty cool. Aren't they chicken? Yeah, chicken. And then over in the other room, Carl and Lindsay are in bed. Lindsay's like, come on, where are my pillows? He's like, your pillows kind of goofy. Yeah, cause I'm goofy. Yeah, well I'm goofy too. Yeah babe. Yeah babe.

Yeah babe. Yeah babe. We're so in love, can't wait to leave you. So then Craig and Paige are talking about how this summer's easier. And Paige is like, yeah, I mean, it's amazing. I'm even talking to Lindsay, which is crazy. I was like, this is how it should be. Cause I've known her for six years and like this week she's been super chill.

And Craig's like, yeah, cause like chill Lindsay is great. Like it's great. I love that Craig is another one who's like, oh, I'm so at peace now. I'm Craig. I'm Craig who hasn't had a drink this season yet. You know, he's like, oh, I'm so at peace now. I'm Craig. I'm Craig who hasn't had a drink this season yet. He's like, oh man, that Lindsay sure is chaos when she's got a little drink in her. You understand we've been watching you on television

for 10 years now, sir, okay? Well, you know what, when she's chill, she's so chill. When you can just get her in that rocking chair after she's just watched Matlock, she's just the most relaxing person. Yeah, she's like down for anything. Down cloud. I mean, to be fair, she's chilling in the summer, because she's old.

She always feels a draft. So I also saw Carl and Lindsay in a different light this weekend, because like where I legit like feel so bad for them. Oh my God, I'm sorry, I keep smiling about their downfall, but like, it's just so fun. I was like, wow, your situation is so fucked

and you can't even see it because Lindsey was like, is that intense that what me and Carl are going through? And I was like, yeah, just a little bit. Oh my God, I'm literally orgasming right now. Yeah, well, I think they have a couple of issues to work out and you said that their compromise is that one person comes out here and another stays home so they can have fun.

And in my head, I'm like, you should be having more fun when the other person is there. Okay, you guys are still kind of new though. You know what I mean? I'm glad that Paige and Craig are happy. They both seem so cute and they definitely seem like happier people with each other.

Yeah. Just not every couple's like that. I mean, go tell Amanda the same thing, you know? Just line all the couples up and say, listen, you're miserable, you can all do better. Let's make an effort here. Yeah. And Paige is like, every summer I feel like someone's planning a wedding and it makes me feel like, is this what it is? It's crazy. People are stupid and unfashionable too. But that's a different issue. So then Kyle's telling Amanda that Carl wants him to be a

flower boy. And Amanda's like, huh, maybe he took you for a flower girl because your hair is so long. Speaking of flowers, I want a backyard, Kyle. And Kyle's like, this feels like a demotion coming from the best man and officiant at my wedding. It's not a demotion if it wasn't your job. You know what I mean? They keep saying demotion, like,

Carl had a bigger job so than Kyle's being demoted, but you didn't have the same job. So it wasn't a demotion. You were originally given this shitty job. So just accept it. So he's like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of the poor. And he needs my support. So I'm not going to like question anything. I'll be the best damn flower boy he's ever seen. I love you. Go shower. You stink. So now everyone's in the kitchen Sunday morning and there's just like a West and Sierra are hugging and Sierra like opens up his bandage to check his wound. She's like in her nurse mode and Paige is like, Oh my God, wait, she's looking

great. Oh my God. I can't believe this two dysfunctional couples and a wound. This is like the best page weekend ever. Oh my God. Your nose looks like Lindsay's relationship. That's amazing. Can I get a picture of it? And by that I mean it's so fucking gross. And Grazy's like, no, it looks great. Come on, chicken. It's like, okay, just like walk it off, whatever.

So back to the city time. So Lindsay and Carl's apartment. Carl's like, oh, you ready for the berries? She's like, Carl, who are you talking to? Oh, sorry, it was the the berries? She's like Carl. Who are you talking to? Oh, sorry was the cardboard you? So we're on love with this thing I Feel like I'm gonna start going two days. Oh babe. Look we're in love. I just finished your sentence two days Yeah, babe, I think you look great just the way you are

But if you want to go to it is like awesome She's like I know but I just want to look even better for you Like I want you to cry when I walked on the aisle I already cry every day us when I see you great And I want I want you to boner when you see me at the reception that'll be a harder task That's rougher, but I can't promise you I will cry if we make it that far I literally just finished sobbing into your arms except it was your cardboard arms sob to the wrong Lindsey again Oh, so confusing damn, and I just broke up with the cardboard Lindsay.

I'm gonna have to work up the gumption to get that done again. Real quickly, is your wedding dress just a nurse costume? Cause that will definitely give me a boner on the dance floor. Literally just lost a boner when I turned away from cardboard Lindsay, but whatever. Hey, you look cardboard by the way.

And it's hot, love you. I don't like that when she was like, I just wanna look even thinner for my wedding and that I need to look even more perfect for you. You're supposed to say, I don't care if you're like 5,000 pounds. I'm in it for your heart. I love you to the bone and back.

Yeah. I think she's just like trying to be like, hello, is this thing on? Are you trying this to me? What's going on here? What do I have to do? Come on. How much barriers do I need to do to get fuckdurant here?

Okay. Christ's sake. So then everyone's in the kitchen and- When do we go to the burbs? Oh yeah, we're in the burbs. I'm sorry. Thank you. I missed that part. It's a Kyle and Amanda scene. Sometimes I'm just,

my eyes just start all the floaters in my eyes come together at once. They're like, please don't do this to us. Please. So now we're in the burbs somewhere in New Jersey, not sure where I would have loved to have known where. And so Kyle and Amanda pull up to a house. Now this is like nice suburbia. This is not like a McMansion suburbia. This is like Waspie, Richville, right? As they pull up to a really nice house that has a big ass backyard

and Amanda is like very excited and the realtor, Kyle, the realtor's name Kyle too. So- It's future Kyle by the way. It's like Kyle in the very near future, isn't it? He's like all blonde and tan and white toothed. So Amanda's like Kyle in the very near future, isn't it? He's like all blonde and tan and white toothed. So Amanda's like really excited because Kyle decides he wants to look at houses

and everything and Kyle walks in and he says the thing that we all said, you know, on the summer house premiere, which is, wow, it is white, dang, it is white. It really is. And it's like a tiny little house, but it's a huge backyard. And he's like, it's white. It really is. And it's like a tiny little house, but it's a huge backyard.

And he's like, it's 1,500 square feet. And Amanda's like, oh my God, it's like a dream. No, 1,500 square feet, you guys wanna start popping out those kids? No, it needs to be bigger. But I think when you're coming from the city, it's like, oh my God, that's so huge. Yeah, it's a really nice house though.

It's pretty, yeah. And then they look at the yards. Why don't they tell us how much it is? So it's the yard is huge back there. There's a pool and everything and you know, it's nice. And then Kyle goes, I just, I never saw myself living in New Jersey. And then music becomes like Jaws music. You notice this, the music was like, Jersey and then music becomes like Jaws music. Did you notice this? The music was like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. It's like Jersey is coming to blur Kyle in and clutch it in his clutch him in

its jaws and trap him in there for the rest of his life. You just see Carl slowly freaking out. Like this is his horror movie. You know, now he's being dragged out to the burbs that he does not want. And he's like, I mean, that change is supposed to be fun. I think moving provides short- term relief from our current situation, which is a little bit of a broken record, but then we're cut off from New York and then some of the current challenges in our relationship where we're their ugly head and I don't know. It's already happening. It's already happening.

Yeah. I think it's time to get out of this relationship before you get into like houses. Like once, once a house is involved, it's just going to get even more messy. I think this is it. This is it. Get out now. Run. So I also think he does not, like I said last week, he does not want to live in New Jersey. This is not how Kyle sees himself. He is a Connecticut, he is a Fairfield Connecticut man

or Upper Westchester, but he is not in New Jersey. I think that drinking as heavily as Kyle drinks is not gonna work really anywhere except the city. I don't think you can just come home and drink like that at home all the time. You can't be the guy at the neighborhood party and the burbs that drunk all the time when people have kids and all that stuff. It's just, doesn't,

it doesn't work the same way. I think he's not going to be able to do this burb thing until he's really ready to be. And then I don't say, I'm not saying be sober completely, but he's going to definitely have to be like, okay, my parting time is up. I'm not on summer house anymore. I'm not going to be getting shit faced in cities across America because I own a booze company every single weekend or whatever he's doing. He's going to have to change that whole lifestyle. Cause this,

this, this ain't going to work in the burbs. It's not. So now it's Thursday and it looked like Wes and Sierra were going on a date cause they show up at this place together. And, uh, the waitress comes up to them. And I love this cause she goes, hi guys, welcome to Somewhere Nowhere, which I was like, that is the perfect phrase for so many of these relationships and careers on this show.

And so many of the personalities on this show in general. It's like, who even am I watching right now? Somewhere Nowhere. Somewhere Nowhere. I know, that's what I feel like when I watch this. I'm Somewhere Nowhere. Somewhere Nowhere. So Sierra, she made banana bread and brought it in her purse, which I feel like is I watch this. I'm somewhere, nowhere, somewhere, nowhere. So Sierra brought, she made banana bread

and brought it in her purse, which I feel like is such a model thing to do. Like I made banana bread, but I didn't want to keep it in the house. So I brought it in my purse so everybody else will have to eat it, you know? This is like, I feel like we're seeing a new side of Sierra where she bakes things and brings it places.

I feel like Sierra from two years ago would never do such a thing. So then Jesse Solomon shows up and he's like giving compliments to Sierra. She's like, he always gives the nicest compliments. And then Danielle shows up. I felt bad because I feel like I forgot that Danielle was on the show over the course

of the past episode and a half. I was like, oh yeah, Danielle. That's right, Danielle's on this show. So Sierra is about to sign a modeling contract with Supreme and love their skateboards. And Sierra's, she's like, I thought I wasn't gonna make it, but I did. And Danielle's like, I worked over the weekend,

but I also hooked up with a drummer. Yeah, party, wanna party? And Wes goes, oh, could he bang it out? Get it? She goes, yeah, yeah, he could, he could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just making the pun. I didn't really need an answer to that.

Does he have a good stick? She's like, yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it, party. And Jesse's like, okay, well, congrats on the sex. I'll tell you, he's not having sex. Sierra and West. Okay. Sarah was like, ah, excuse me. You kidding me? Announcing my business. He's like, well, when are you going to have sex with my friend? And she's like, never at this rate. And West is like, um,

I don't know if bro code is real, but if you're my friend, if you're friends with Jesse Salomon, it's definitely not real. And I was like, I can't believe like I told him any, and he like immediately like announced it to Jesse, like grilled a Sierra right away. But same time I'm like, keep going, cause I want answers. So they're gonna take it slow.

And then we go to enter Carl's store. All the guys are gathering, cause we're gonna try on suits for this wedding that is completely totally gonna happen. So I'm gonna wear a wedding suit and it's going to be the only time on this show you're ever going to see me have the opportunity to wear white pants and choose cream instead, inexplicably. What the hell is that? You wear white pants literally every day, you're having a white wedding and you're choosing cream pants? Who are you even? every day, you're having a white wedding and you're choosing cream pants. Who are you even?

I know. And then we hear Trixie as he walks in going, watch me, watch me go up, go up. I'm the greatest of all time. It's like Carl walking into discount suit, like Emporium. So, um, so these guys, these, uh, six guys are going to be coming in. Welcome you to the sober suit store. Sober discount suit store guys. Hi, welcome, hello there. So Andrea comes and he's like, oh, hello Carl, my come to be a gentleman, ladies first, hello ladies, hello, hello, hello, hello. Kisses her hand.

So then he's like, yeah, I'm getting suited up and trying on different jackets. And it's definitely starting to get really real right now. Trying to imagine these jackets on the beach in Mexico. I mean, a loaf is going to work on or the guy's going to be comfortable because it's going to be toasted. It's going to be toasted. Yeah. And so everyone's there. And like, there's a bunch of like, unf no one's in this, in this party. And then Kyle is there and he's like, uh, yeah. So like, by the way, like usually the flower boy is like the youngest kid or a girl, I should say.

And Andrea's asking him how he felt and cause like, well, I was a little confused and taking it back. I mean, don't take this the wrong way, Andrea, but like I've known Carl for a decade. I mean, I've been undermining him for so many years, you know, and I had a guy officiate my wedding and he was like my co best man and everything. In my mind, I'm like, I've been one of your best friends for a hot minute. Like it takes the best friend to be able to air out all your cocaine issues on

national TV. Am I right? But I'm okay with it. It's just like sad Carl moping in a mullet. Commercials, here comes one right now. And then it's Friday and now Kyle and Amanda are picking, oh no, Kyle picks up Andrea first. And they talk about Lexi and, you know, makes small talk. And they talk about how they had boys night and they ended up going out after. Carl took the boys out and he was out late. Now he's in trouble. Yeah. It's very rare. It's very

rare for him to go out in the middle of the week, but he got home at like 4 AM and woke up Amanda and she was mad. So then in another car, Paige is driving with Jesse and Paige is like, um, so we're going to have like a very good weekend, Italian weekend this weekend. And I is like, so we're gonna have like a very Italian weekend this weekend. And I'm like, really excited. Look at me, look how excited I am. And then Jesse's like, yeah, so what's gonna make this Italian aside from tonight's extravagant dinner?

Well, I'm wearing Prada. So that's basically it. I'm just gonna wear Italian designers. So like, well, now that Jesse and Craig are fast friends, I do wanna get to know him better. And I don't want it to be awkward between the two of us. It's gotta be really hard for him to be sitting next to something he can't have.

So as random as this car ride is, I feel like it's my duty to be nice to the new guy and make sure he feels comfortable and welcome and make sure he stays in love with me because surely at some point Craig is gonna care and it's gonna cause some kind of trouble that'll bring us closer together because it's basically me. We'll see.

See you now. Okay. And let me see if I can also press them for some dirt. So by the way, how was boys night when you guys all went out for Kyle's, for Carl's wedding thing? How was that? He goes, oh yeah, I didn't go. Oh, were you not invited?

Please tell me you weren't invited. Oh my God, this will be so great. He wasn't invited. Oh my God, I can't wait to tell everyone. He's like, no, no, I was invited. Damn it. But I had plans with a lucky lady. Oh really? Oh, go on, tell me more.

Good for her. Good for you. She's like, wow, good for her, good for her. Good for you too. He's like, almost cut her from the roster, but I mean, she's just so nice, you know? I was like, ah, let me give her another chance. Oh, you're just so fucking generous.

This guy's such a fucking douchebag. This guy's such a charming douchebag. I need to see the rest of it come out because I don't believe it. I don't believe anybody on this show right now, but especially him. He is getting away with murder with that smile because he's actually really terrible,

but he just smiles and is like handsome and charming. So we're like, oh, Jesse Solomon. So Paige is like, OK, we love her. OK, we love that. That's great. So do you think you're going to invite her to the house to a party? I need to see her so we can like talk about her in the beds. OK, so you're going to bring her, right? It's like, yeah, for sure. Not for sure. Not.

So then Amanda, Andrea and Kyle are in their car and Amanda's like, I can't believe the weekend you ended up coming is our Italian dinner weekend. That is so crazy and you don't even have to do anything for it this time, God. Yeah, cause Paige is gonna get it catered and it's gonna be like nice and fancy. So now at the house, Paige arrives first. I love she gets out of the car and she turns to Jesse and goes, okay, grab my suitcase.

I was like, okay. So the caterers come and everybody starts getting to the door and then just like, oh, this door is so janky. Cause I was like, oh Jesus, it goes in on itself and it's stuck on its doors bullshit. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. The door didn't want Kyle to be a brimsman. So yeah, something happened with the door. It warped or they replaced it, but it's not opening properly anymore. So then Jesse's in the backyard and everyone's just hanging out and arriving. And Jesse's like, well, I'm glad you guys are here. I spent lots of hours just paging. Boy, was it fun. Really? How many dates did you go on this week? He's like, well, I'm glad you guys are here. I spent lots of hours just page and boy was it fun. Really?

How many dates did you go on this week? He's like, I can answer that. Hello, page here. He went on two dates. Although would you consider Tuesday a date if it was just the club? And the second date was a girl who came over and helped him pack.

He's like, that's not fair. We actually went out and got tacos too. Okay. And I was actually right next to the rooftop, but I was in workout clothes. So I don't know if it counts. Kurt was like, oh, I thought you guys were going to come last night. Like you could have come.

I mean, it would have been fun for you to meet some of the guys like that would have been great. Yeah, but I'll see them this weekend, right? Yeah, but he basically had like a bachelor party last night and like I walked in and it was like 17 guys I was like, you're a bachelor party and why is one of them holding the cardboard version of me? And Carl's like, yeah, yeah, it's just like, yeah, so you kind of like missed out Jesse, that's what I'm saying But the fitting went well. Yeah, so Jesse's like, oh really? It's Kyle Groomsman? Flower boy. Flower boy. All right. Flower boy.

Yeah. And so is Andrea and so is Luke. Page is like, Oh my God. Like, I know it looks like I'm just like sitting here listening to this conversation, but I am bursting inside. Like, Kyle, Carl, like officiated their weddings and now they're making a flower boy. Like, I wonder who made that decision This is literally the best day of my entire life. I am going to explode. I'm sorry. Hold on chicken. Listen to this Uh, are you on the phone with Craig right now? No, it's he's just the background on my phone that I'm pointing at you It's moving. It's a live background. Just shut up Talk about crushing Kyle. I

That's a live background. Just shut up. Talk about crushing Kyle. I mean, okay, just okay. Craig, listen to this. Chicken, listen to this. He will throw petals as I walk down the aisle. That was my Lindsay impersonation, okay? Because like, you know that's what Lindsay thought.

Like, that's insane. Like, I wouldn't even go. Like, I would have slapped Carl in his face if he said that to me and been like, have fun at your wedding. See ya. I am literally like the best. I am dead. I am dead right now.

And Carl's like, whoa, Carl's more of a flower boy anyway, right? I mean, it fits his personality. And then we see Danielle struggling with the door. And they're all talking about how hot it is. And then Sierra has an issue with the door and everyone is struggling. So everyone shows up and Andre's like, oh, yeah, I am home! Oh my God, I hope Amanda gets to complain about Kyle. Oh, here we are! Okay, so Amanda is now with the girls. And she's like, I'm just tired because Kyle came home at four in the morning and I damn near lost my mind.

Like, we have a chance to talk about what he did last night and we're gonna do it because that was terrible. Like, I can't sleep when he's not home. And then I, but then I fell asleep at like 3 30, but then he came barging in at like four. So Paige is like Kyle's whole thing is like, I do so many adult things and like Amanda doesn't do this and like doesn't do that.

But like, you know what Amanda doesn't do? Stand until four a.m. on a weeknight. Oh my God. Like this and then the flower boy thing? Like I am literally dying. Is there like a sale at Xero too? Because that would literally kill me. I've always known Kyle to be extroverted and that's why I was attracted to him

because he's social, but you're like, maybe once we get married, then he'll slow down. No, no, red flag. I mean, that's like the biggest X in the world when you say, I think I can change him. You know what? All it takes is me. And then he'll be totally different. All he needs is just to get married. You know what you should do to solve these problems, have babies cause that's the next brilliant thing you're going to say.

And let me tell you something. The burbs is not going to slow him down. Okay. Cause what's going to happen is Kyle will get to the burbs and then he'll make friends with all the other suburban dads and they're going to like have like, like drinking nights in the basement or whatever. It's like, Kyle, are you going out to poker night again? Kyle, your friends in the basement again. Kyle, the extraversion does not go away. It is going to live in the burbs in a different form and it'll be just as annoying to her. Yeah. Until he's finding more reasons to travel for work

and eventually cheats because he's miserable. Because you know that that's gonna come. And then he'll be like, but you know I didn't wanna move to the burbs, you know that I didn't wanna do that, so this is all your fault. And he's gonna feel justified in blaming her for everything.

Yeah. Hey, sorry to interrupt this discussion about Kyle, this is all your fault. And he's gonna feel justified in blaming her for everything. Yeah. Hey, sorry to interrupt this discussion about Kyle, but is Kyle mad about being a flower girl? If he is, could you tell me everything? Can you just like inject his rage into my veins? I just need to feel it. He was a little confused.

So I just mocked him a lot for looking like a girl cause he has long hair. Ha, ha, ha. He's like even doing it with Andre and Luke. Really? Cause that's like even more insulting. Is that more insulting to have you told him it's more insulting?

You should tell him it's more insulting. Oh my God, tell him it's more insulting. He's going to have to do it with a guy who literally taps trees. That's so embarrassing. So Kyle is showing Carl some new cans downstairs and Carl's like, whoa, I just got the chills. Oh, but I think it's cause I'm standing under her event. Whoops. And Carl's like,

yeah, like we talked about it. It's finally happening. So basically Kyle is launching a non alcoholic brand, which is funny. Like non alcoholic iced tea, also known as iced tea, not alcoholic lemonade. Also known as lemonade. We were talking about the flavored soda waters, I think, you know, also known as iced tea, not alcoholic lemonade. Also known as lemonade. We were talking about the flavored soda waters, I think, you know, how everybody has like the flavored sodas. Oh, okay. Well, either way, he's making a non-alcoholic alternative and he wants Carl to be part of it.

And he was, it was very important to him to show to Carl first, let him know first, like really involve him. And he, in fact, Carl's like really touched by this. And in fact, Kyle's like, by the way, like not to put you on the spot, but you know, this could be a side hustle if you want, you could like help promote this, whatever this could be a good situation. We could have set up a rev share. Yeah. So he's like, Oh, I've got to think about that. I mean, it's a huge opportunity about like, Oh, better think about it.

So then he goes to put himself in his white pants and he's like, oh, these pants are way tighter than I ever thought they were. Oh my God. I think it's because I feel cardboard Lindsay looking at me from home. Sorry. I'm gonna get my boner down a little bit. Oh, I need a nurse. So he's like, you know, part of my concern is that it's like this offer becomes real

that Lindsay won't be on board with it. And like we're on a good streak right now. And like bringing something like this to the table could really cause more issues. And I don't want to address it at this moment. If you can't tell Lindsay about a job opportunity with Kyle, if that's gonna like threaten the stability of your relationship, you are in bad shape.

Feels weird to like yell at him because we know they're gonna break up, but I still wanna yell at him. Well, it's also, I think at this point, Lindsay would just be glad that you have a job. Yeah, I think so. I think when she was like, I don't want you working for Kyle,

that was back when she thought you were gonna do something else, but now that she knows you're not, yeah, you know, she might have changed her mind, but nice job, you know, avoiding her. look like a terrorist for another five minutes on this episode. Fucking car. Right.

So, caterer's prepping food and Kyle's like, excuse me, can you point me to the mouthy ghost? So they all sit at the table and they're just like, should I do a toast? Okay. I wanna have this dinner because Italy is like my favorite place to go with my family. And I think if you guys all is my family and I wanted to bring it to you and have a fancy

night at our home. Also, I just want to toast to all of you for being so dysfunctional. You're really filling me with so much joy. I love that Carl has demoted Kyle to Flower Boy. That's just like a great nuance to an already hellacious summer for you all. So thank you so much for everything you do for me. Oh, to Italy, another place where Kyle is not asked to be a groomsman. Maybe it's because he looks like a girl and so they thought because he has a mole. All right, Amanda, we get it. All right, Amanda, we get it. God, coin. So now Danielle's asking about the house search

and Amanda's saying, you know, the house that we liked that. And Carl breaks in and he's like, oh, I guess I don't get seven. I mean, I ate yesterday, so it's fine. Holarious, hoar. Anybody? And Jesse's laughing. Oh, that was good.

Yo, idiots, Amanda's trying to talk, okay? Amanda, keep talking about the horrific place that is not Italy at all that we're gonna be moving to, but we'll sort of feel like Italy, because it's New Jersey. All right, come on, the floor is yours, Amanda. You don't have to be such an asshole, Kyle. What was that about, Kyle?

I'm just like trying to help facilitate this conversation, because apparently this is the week where we have Italian dinners on Bravo and the man shushes everyone so the wife can talk. But other people have things to say too. Why are you the only one who's saying it? Why are you the only one who's saying something, Kyle? God.

So then Amanda's like. Yeah, so I think it's gonna be like an investment property and like a place where like I can get out of the city because like Kyle isn't like ready yet, but like sometimes I just need to remove myself from New York. And Lindsay just mumbles, you know, we're from Kyle. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, having some place to go for like a week or two or a month or, you know, year my future children graduate college.

I mean, you know. Wait, stop everything, stop. Are you telling me that on top of a weekend where Lindsay and Carl are in shambles and you guys are doing so badly and Kyle has been named a flower boy, you want to move to New Jersey for like to get away for Kyle for months at a time?

Are you kidding me right now? I have so much I have to tell Chicken. This is amazing. That's it. I'm eating the carb. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Do we get?

Ha ha ha ha. This is a celebration. So Paige is like a month at a time and Sierra goes, yeah, cause Kyle's not coming with her. And Amanda's like, I need a change of scenery. Right now, every time I try to look at nature,

all I see is a terrible mullet, you know? And he's like, Amanda hates the apartment. She hates the city. She hates walking the dogs late at night. I mean, I love our apartment, but she doesn't. He makes some sad faces. And Amanda's like, yeah, we're thinking about a family and I don't want to be pregnant

with all that riffraff around, you know? I'd be too stressed out. Like I want to walk the dogs and run into my parents. Kyle, instead of hanging out with people every night, you could be playing Scrabble with my dad. Kyle's like, yeah, I always thought the second the kids want to play date in the yard, that's when we move. Kyle, you're not the one to be spending day by day with the kids. Oh, Kyle. And I was like, whoa.

I love, by the way, everyone at this table is openly mocking their relationship. They're all muttering under their breath to their faces. Well, I think it's why they have a right to say something about Lindsay and Carl's relationship ultimately, because they have to sit there and listen to it. They have to listen to all the dysfunction and the toxicity. And these couples are the worst. Oh my God, they are the worst. So basically, Daniel's like, Carl, are you going to compromise so that she can

have what she wants? And he's like, we're thinking through it. Daniel says, that's a no in my book. Yeah, but I don't think you want somebody to compromise to that level. That's just not, it's not good for either one of them for him to move right down the street from Amanda's parents, which is going to be bloody hell, those fucking judgy parents, which by the way, they have a right to say shit to Kyle. Kyle messed up a lot in the past, but who wants to sit down next to Judgy, Mr. and Mrs. Judgy down there, where the man can run to and complain about every single thing that happens with Kyle, every way that Kyle fucked up, then he's not going to be

around his friends, then he's going to be stuck. I mean, this is, it's a recipe for disaster. Don't you endanger me. This is a you endanger. I mean, we've watched this couple and every other season they have a bad season, right? They have the bad season and then they have the season where they convince us that we're, oh, you know what's so funny? I almost wore that today. Ronnie's wearing a T-shirt that says,

I feel like goddamn Celine Dion right now. That's so funny. Thank you for the lady who gave us this shirt. That's an amazing shirt. Goddamn Celine Dion right now. Sorry, Ben, go ahead. No, I was just going to say that like we always see like, um, we always like we, they always have their bad seasons.

I kind of feel like in some ways this is their worst season because in the past it's like, Oh, he cheated on me. And you're like, okay, like that's obviously bad, but you know, they're going to still go forward or whatever. But now it's like at a level of, she just hits him. She says that she likes them, but she hates them. She, she has so many resentments and he has so many resent like that. There's never been like deep resentment like this before. And I'm like, okay,

we've got to throw in the flag here, guys. It's, it's, it's not working out. It's just going to get worse. Nothing. You're putting, putting good money after bad. It's not going to, it's bad. Yeah, I'm not really sure, but, uh, yeah, they've got to fix it. And by fix it, I mean quit it. It's over. It's painful. Well, thanks for being here. Yeah, thanks. And it's been a great week. We'll be back on Monday for more recaps, et cetera. Thanks for being here and we will catch you on the next one.

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