Watch What Crappens - #2391 Summer House MV and RHOP Part 1: And Don’t Drive Back, Green Bye Bandit

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

We open with a talk about this week’s Summer House Martha’s Vineyard (S02E04) and then The Real Housewives of Potomac (S08E21) ends its season with a final reunion episode by forcing the ladies to eat carbs on camera. Have we lost all respect? It’s the last episode for both Robyn and Candiace, so fold up some poster board and let’s have a good cry. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Who cares what happens when this Oh, Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens!

Who cares what happens when this Oh, Watch What Crappens! Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! A podcast for all of that crap we just love to talk about on You're Brav. It's Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? You know, I'm so good. I was booking my European vacation today. Well, my work, I guess. Whatever. Our European jaunt I booked today, three weeks. I'm going to have an Eat, Pray, Love week all by myself in Italy. I mean, this is going to be amazing, Ben. So I'm in a really Eat, Pray, Love week all by myself in Italy. I mean, it's gonna be amazing, Ben.

So I'm in a really good place. Also, I need GoFundMe and a second job. So if anybody... I know. Look forward to us on OnlyFans. No. Uh, yeah. I'm gonna be really into the underarm flab,

um, kink section of OnlyFans. If you guys want to jerk off to someone flapping their underarms, come find me there, okay? It's only $100 a minute. Come on! Yeah, I'll be, I am gonna be, if anyone is, if their kink is watching someone walk slowly through Stockholm, then sign up to my OnlyFans, because that's what you're gonna get. Come watch me, at least I'm making an effort to turn people on. You're just gonna walk.

Naked. Slowly, slowly. You're gonna walk. Walk naked through Stockholm. I'd be like, yeah. Okay, well everybody, we're talking about that cause we are going to Europa all over every city in Europe. Just kidding, just three, but still it's a start.

Okay. We're beginning actually in Los Angeles, which is not Europe at all. Um, but they don't eat a lot. Very European. Here is a European thing. I learned that over years ago. And, uh, anyway, um, we start in LA for the Netflix is a joke comedy festival, the Cucabara Lounge.

It's a small intimate show. We are so excited to do it. That's the start of May, LA. And then we're going to London. We are going to Dublin and we are going to Birmingham. And the tile is about to fall off my wall in case you hear a crash. We're doing that in the middle of May.

So get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, this is a video podcast. Hi everybody on Patreon. Hi, you can get videos on Patreon or on YouTube a week later for free. Also bonus episodes. This week we are getting into Vanderpump Villa over on Patreon.

Huge five episode orgy of terrible TV over there. And I think that's all the announcements I have today. Oh, I have to start with Summer House, Martha's Vineyard and just do a little catch up because we're skipping that recap this week. And that'll be back full-time next week as we finish out Potomac. I have a small announcement,

which is that I recently was a guest on two different podcasts, and I would love if people go and listen to them. First, we have a newer podcast called Sisters Who Watch, which is hosted by two really lovely women who are sisters. And we are talking, I was, I guess, last week, the episode just went live, I think last night, and we are just sort of looking back on the season that was a Beverly Hills, but we talked about all sorts of other Bravo stuff, too So go check go check them out. They are so sweet and so wonderful

And then also I was a guest on our dear friend Mary Payne's podcast pink shade We all love Mary Payne. So go check that out and we just talked more pop culture stuff, etc Etc and like revisit like a previous episode that I did, it's sort of like a remember when episode, it's fun. So go check out both of them on whatever platform that you'd listen to your podcasts. Well, how fun, okay? Yeah.

Well, welcome to your own show, thanks for having me. You're guesting on your own show. Oh yeah, another big shout out to watcher Crappins. I am guesting on the show that's happening right now. It's amazing. Yeah. So here we are. Okay. So let's get into this. So Summer House Martha's Vineyard. Yeah. A lot of emotions this episode. A lot of stuff happening.

Lot of emotions. A lot of craziness. You know, this is kind of one of those partying shows. So it's like, how much of this is just Coke R rage? Sorry, Summer, but I'm talking to you. And also, which by the way, I've had plenty of Coke rage. I think that's why I see it. And I'm not mad at it. I'm just kind of jealous because God, I miss it. I really do. Being sober is overrated. I'm going to tell anybody who's thinking about it, do it still. I mean, you should probably still, if you're thinking about it, then you've got a problem. You should probably think about it. But God, sometimes watching this, I'm like, I wanna yell at somebody with summer. I just wanna get pissed off and start screaming

and yelling at somebody in a car and sobbing and hyperventilating. I mean, I miss those days. I really do. You know, you can always, I'm not advocating for you to fall off the wagon, but you can always do it. And you know, maybe tonight you should do it at crappy hour.

We forgot to mention crappy hours tonight. And there's actually like a huge amount of stuff to talk about, A huge amount, especially, you know, Taylor Swift and Teresa Giudice together. So don't forget to tune in at 830 on the East Coast, 530 on the West Coast. Sorry, little plug right there. Okay. Yeah, I of course, I'm not I don't know the Coke rage thing. I always rely on you to point that out for me. But I believe it here. Now that you say it, I didn't know the Coke rage thing. I always rely on you to point that out for me. But I believe it here now that you say it. I didn't even think about that.

Okay, Ben, it's like this. You know the rage you feel when someone kind of steps in front of you when you're both walking to the same line and they technically could have that position, but they did see you coming and they didn't even care. You know the rage that you feel even though you know it's not justified? I know that rage. It's like, no, it's not.? I know that rage. It's like no, it's not it's actually fully justified. I'd like to have

it by the way. There's like a tiny seed of justification, but it could have also been their seed. Why should they give their seed? You know there's part of you that knows that it's not completely unjustified. Anyway, there's part of you that knows it's a little unhinged that you're as angry as you are and you're picturing their death. That's what it's like. That's a very good example. And I get that. I understand that.

So the episode opens with Summer and Jordan still having a fight because they got really mad in the car at the end of the last episode. I don't even remember totally why because they had a meal and Summer was talking or then Jordan got mad at her and spoke up and then Jordan then Summer felt like she's being shut down and upset her and then Jordan did it again in the car and Summer was like I'm allowed to be mad if you're allowed if you're gonna be mad I'm allowed to be mad too so what it all boils down to is that she feels like Jordan it's like okay for Jordan to go off at dinner or in a car, but when Summer does it, it's totally unacceptable.

And she didn't like that. And then she also, so she's like crying to like Shanice and to what's her face, Jasmine. I mean, she did this. Like it's like hyperventilating crying, which is why I'm like, this isn't even real. And that's the, like the thing on the, and I don't mean it's not real that she's not really crying. I do believe that she's really

crying. I just mean it's night out partying crying where it's, tomorrow she's going to feel so stupid that it even, it feels stupid having a real conversation about something that I know was just like, someone had a free baggie that they were passing around. I've just been there and I've been so mortified the next day. Now she was not as mortified the next day as I think maybe she should have been, but you know, to you Sarah. So she says, as she's like sort of crying to Amir and to Jasmine and Shanice, she's like, I mean, like, she just like, she yells at me and like just a few hours she was crying in that bathroom and I was comforting her. So then this becomes an issue

because then Jordan comes into the house and she's with Preston and Shanice comes downstairs like, oh, she was saying that she was comforting you and I don't matter. And then she was like, I can't believe she would weaponize my alopecia against me. So then it becomes that. And Jordan is just like, curious. So because we've not seen anybody accuse anybody else of weaponizing alopecia. It's a new frontier. I mean, that's to give us something new on Bravo is quite a feat.

And they've done it. They have done it. So then they eventually the next day they do sit down and they talk and they clear the air and Summer's like, oh, but I didn't say any details. I just said you were crying in the bathroom and I was there for you. And Jordan's like, um, yeah, but that's a violation of my trust. Like you shouldn't have said anything. Even that was too much. That was ridiculous to me. I'm sorry. Like that's not right. Okay. Like, cause it it's okay to like I think it's fine to say

She was having an emotional moment and I was comforting her and that's that it doesn't have to be anything more than that I think it's like I think it would be different if she was like and she's and I'm sitting there listening to her bitch About losing her damn hair and yeah, if it was I agree that then okay If she was like calling her daddy war bucks or something like that, I mean, that would be one thing. But I think just saying like she was crying and I was comforting her is a little much. I think that's like, it's okay.

And I think that like Summer was, I think that's actually a valid frustration. If you feel like, hey, I'm like going on my way to like comfort this person and be there for them. And then they pop off on me at dinner. It's like really unfair. And I think that like, that's like a valid building block into whatever she's feeling, even if it is built on Coke rage or not. And I just think that that was like, Jordan, you can't do that. I don't think that's fair.

I was surprised that Summer was acting like I was, I was surprised that Summer was getting so annoyed and pissy with Jordan after she knew that Jordan was crying. I mean, that's what I was surprised that Summer was getting so annoyed and pissy with Jordan after she knew that Jordan was crying. I mean, that's what I was saying last week. I mean, listen, Jordan was just in the bathroom telling you something very real that's going on with her and crying. And then now you're going to be all over her ass at dinner about how she's treating you at dinner because listen, Jordan has an air of bitchiness about her, I think sometimes. She's got kind of

like a holier than nothing, I think sometimes with her friends and I can get being annoyed with that. I don't think she was being like that at this dinner. I think she was being fine at the dinner. I don't think she did anything wrong. I think, you know, Summer didn't like, she felt like she was called out in front of everybody, but it wasn't that bad. I didn't think it was that bad. So I was just confused by the whole thing. Yeah. I actually don't really remember the dinner, even though I watched it and I watched the flash flashback from last episode. I don't even remember what they were talking about, but either way. I mean, it was a stupid fight. Summer was jumping in trying to defend Jasmine because she's like, well, at least Jasmine brought up that she was going to bring

Mariah and then why is it that big of a deal? And then they were like, but it is a big deal. She's like, okay. And she kind of backed off. And then she's like, well, why'd she get upset with me at dinner that it was such a big deal? And I was like, oh yeah. It started like flying out of control when the person who was being unreasonable at the dinner was kind of Brea.

I mean, really at the end of the day, she was like, Oh, you had a secret plane ticket. And now there's now it's a big secret conspiracy to come after me. Right. I'm leaving with a sock. I'm starting going, good, good, great, great. But summer is the one who got the most upset. So even Brea is like, Oh Jesus, now I have to have this fight with everybody again, because some are spinning out of control. So then Brea tries it again today. So, even Bria is like, oh, Jesus, now I have to have this fight with everybody again, because Summer's spinning out of control. So, then Bria tries it again today. Well, not tries it, she does it, she fully commits to it today. Pete Yeah, Bria does it again, because they're having, they wind up having like this emotional, unexpectedly emotional dinner altogether, because everything, there's a lot of tension in the house.

And so, after this whole discussion with Summer, Jordan is still like just very quiet and she's like quiet throughout the day and like there's stuff on her mind. And so Alex, the great emotional connector, he's like, hey Summer. He's basically like a llama. Jordan. I mean, I mean, Jordan. Yeah. He's like, he's like, Jordan, I noticed you've been quiet. Is it that you're in awe of my cousin John Legend? Or do you have something going on? Jordan, if I had to describe you as music right now, because I think in I think in chords, I would describe you as a minor chord, Jordan. Is there any reason you're playing in minor today?

She's like, what? He's like, I'm just so used to your energy being one way, but now it's another way. And I know Alex thinks he's being all sensitive, but it is kind of the equivalent of being like, you know what, Toots, you should smile more, is what I'm getting from him. Right?

So she's like- She's like, if you'd smile a little, Toots. Yeah, and so she's like, if you'd smile a little toots. Yeah. And so she's like, you know, I just like a lot on my mind, da da da da da. So it was just like, she has like a nice sort of confessional moment. And then Alex goes, I just learned more about you in the past two minutes than I did all of last summer.

Which is kind of like, that may be on you, sir, actually. Maybe you need to ask questions. You're doing that whole like shaming somebody, like, oh, we just haven't need to ask questions. Who's doing that whole shaming somebody? Oh, we just haven't been close because you're just so closed off. What the fuck are you talking about? What have you ever talked about

except who you wanna fuck or your music collective, which is what you're only doing to try and fuck other people. Who are you acting like you're Mr. Depth in here? And nobody, we're not auditioning for you to fucking like us, Alex. Fucking weirdo. No, and I think, I think it's just like, why do you have to make that point in that moment?

Why is that the salient thing to mention? And you're sort of making it about you also. Like, I guess he's trying to say thank you for opening. For Alex to be paying attention to you is like a gift. He's like, wow, I care about you. You're welcome. Well, I think he's actually trying to prove his thoughtfulness in that moment and his and his sensitivity because, you know, he's basically saying, thank you for opening up and being vulnerable with me. I feel like I just learned more about you than I did all of last year. And

like, thank you for letting down your guard. Mitch is like it sounds like it's a compliment but it is like you said it's actually just shaming her for like not sharing more and she's just like fuck you she's like yeah actually that's on you that you didn't know that uh because you came at me really crazy like the first the first night you said I was toxic and we have a flashback to that. I was like, oh yeah, I forgot about that one. He was like, oh, I bet Jordan's the toxic friend. And she's like, what? Yeah. And then just all his bullshit from last season.

And then- And then she was standing up for her friend, Shanice, because then we get into the whole drama of Shanice. So Shanice was a stalker of her boyfriend who is an actor on HBO, some show on HBO, not some show, I just forget. I think it was insecure. Yeah, it's a big show. It's like a small part of something.

So he was on that. And so he broke up with her and apparently he's accused he accused her of stalking. So that was in the papers right when the season start the papers, the blogs, right when the season started. The papers, the blogs, right when the season... I'm serious. Show your age, my God. There was an old man screaming about it on a street corner, right across from a preacher.

It was crazy, crazy days, those. Extra, extra, as Shanice is talking to a guy on HBO, read all about it. A group of teenagers started dancing and doing splits in the ears while wearing suspenders and adorable little hats and informed the entire house. She was a stalker. So, what's her buns? Jordan was just sticking up for her friend because he was telling the whole house that she was a stalker. And so he's like, wait a minute, that wasn't even me

that said that. That was Nick. And Nick is like what? that wasn't even me that said that. That was Nick. And then we tried to throw Nick under the bus about calling Shanice a stalker. And then they're like, well, we were just all talking about Shanice being a stalker because these little boys in a musical sung a whole song about it. And then Shanice is like, I was traumatized by making a stalker. How could you call me a stalker? And then she starts sobbing and now she's re-traumatized because whenever anybody Googles her it comes up that she was stalking. And I just have to say, I know that's got to suck, but hey, at least they're going to Google you now and it's going to say, we're stressed.

I love the way she talked about it too, because she was like, she was like, she was saying how basically there was like a lawsuit and she like, she was cleared and everything. And so she's in her interview, she was like, you know what, like I was dating this guy and you know, he accused me of stalking. So you know, it happened. And now the, it happened. And now, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. She was like, you know, the stalking happened. And, you know, now I'm just trying to put together my life again.

She says it's not true, but I'm with you. That she doesn't, she's not very clear about it. But didn't last season, she's, last season I thought she said that she did, she was like, well, I did get like a little, I got a little crazy, but she said though, she did remind us that this guy in retaliation sent out like revenge porn, which is like Crate which is totally like that's you should not only is it illegal?

But like that's so wrong and even though she is obviously very comfortable with being naked like that's on her terms That's not for someone else to release the photos. I don't know why I'm giving a lesson on like the ethics of Revenge porn just in case there's someone out there who's just about to press the button and is like, wait a second, thank God I listened to watch our crap ins not going to send out that revenge. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap ins commercial. I love a good parasocial relationship with a celebrity who will probably never know my name. I mean, honestly, who knows?

Don't count yourself out. But my favorite part about these feuds is how they're ignited by the tiniest things. Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane too. Can't wait to see you. I accidentally laminated my brows too much. It starts small and then it gets so big. Hey, honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day.

I don't know her. We all just have to admit we're addicted. Everybody has opinions. Everyone picks sides. Leave Britney Spears alone right now. From Wondery, I'm Sydney Battle. And I'm Matt Bellassai. And this is Dis & Tell, where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds and whether

or not our attention only makes the whole thing worse. Follow Dis & Tell wherever you get your podcasts. 50 high school senior girls descend on Mobile, Alabama every summer to compete for a massive cash prize. It isn't Survivor. It's one of America's most lucrative scholarship competitions for teen girls. It's been around for seven decades. Now you'll hear what took place behind the scenes.

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Plus. He is suing her now because he lost in court. It was dismissed. So now he's suing her for $20,000 because she supposedly stalked him, to which I say sue his ass for half a million dollars or release him for revenge porn because that's bullshit and he could actually go to jail for that. So I would- I would sue him-

...suck his stupid ass and sue him. I would sue him for just coming up with an insultingly low number for a lawsuit. Like, ah, excuse me, I'm on television. You should be trying to extort more money out of me. How dare you say I'm only worth $20,000? Yeah, well, you know, sometimes you got to, you know, set what you can get. Just make realistic goals. Make realistic goals, yeah.

It's not like a prescription company. You can't be like, I was stocked and I'm suing for $8 trillion. You're like, well, you'll see what I what what what I can get from this rock. But that being said, I love that Shanice was like, fuck you, Alex, you traumatized me. I was like, I'm so glad she said that because he just says these things and he does these things that he just assumes like, oh, no one's gonna care. Like he just goes like, Oh, no one's gonna care. Like he just goes through life that way.

You see with Noelle who I love Noelle and she's like crying all episode cause she's so mortified by the way Alex, you know, you know, treated her. And, uh, I just love that Shanice was like, you know, fuck you, you traumatize me. So then of course he's like, can I give you a hug? Like, Oh God, this guy's the worst. Yeah, that guy sucks. And I'm glad he was trying to like have a look at look America, look how sensitive I am talking to the women. And then they were both like, fuck off, Alex. And then meanwhile, by the way, he like was also exclusive with church invites, because

they like he went and like knocked on some people's door and was like like, Hey, you want to go to church? But then didn't invite Noel or Bria. And this is the guy who's trying to like, who was already in an argument earlier this season about not inviting people to his music collective. And now he's not going to invite people to church. He's going to pick and choose who gets to go to church. Oh gosh. Now I'm reading a what Shanice Actually Did With This Actor article. Why do I Google? Why do I Google during the podcast? Because now I've got this whole other side of Shanice and I shouldn't have Googled because

I like her and so I don't want to diss her on this. But someone posted on Reddit, Shanice's behavior towards her ex is wildly concerning. If you haven't seen the evidence of Shanice's stalking posted by her ex, here's a link. This girl is straight up dangerous, I'm sorry, but would that happen when I was 28 is not an excuse, especially when she's 29. Ha ha ha ha. That line alone is worth the Google

because that shit's hilarious. I was just, I was back when I was 28, how old are you? 29. Ha ha ha ha. So there's a whole post, I won't go into the whole thing because it's neither here nor there. It is in her past and she's just like, fuck you for bringing it up. Now, look, I get the whole thing and how it's traumatized you and everything else.

But I think also who you're yelling at, by the way, I'm not saying don't yell at Alex, fuck that guy. Also who you're yelling at is reality TV because you came on reality TV after kind of, I don't know, being accused of stalking an actor Did you think it was not gonna come up? I mean Hello, you're on Bravo. What do you think is gonna? You know, though, I think that it came up through such a The fact that it like it came down through a fuckboy channel is what was so surprising Maybe that's what she wasn't expecting

I think maybe she was expecting it to be thrown in her face and some sort of like cat fight. But, um, for it to be this- Someone who met John Legend a few times is really interesting. A guy who's like part of a music collective and considers himself soulful and he looks at like the deeper, the deeper parts of like you and the cosmos. And yet he's still petty enough to like Google you and be like, oh, she's a soccer grist. Well, it's by him and then the guy in a straw hat who wears like matching bands on his straw hat to his shirt. So that's who's coming after you.

So I mean, I can get it. I get the pain. It hurts. Yeah, and so the last big thing that happened was, so finally Jasmine revealed to us that she is in fact pregnant and she's expecting, which is the same thing. I don't know why I said it like that, but um, pregnant baby is expecting a tiny version of Silas.

So she did order something from Amazon. So she's expecting something. The first baby to speak at one day old to complain about the meal it's getting. week at one day old to complain about the meal it's getting. The first baby to actually demand its mother iron. It's the first baby to come out demanding that his mother do drop and give him 20. So yeah, she's going to have her baby and we get to see her on the phone with Silas, which is super exciting, talking about the baby. And she's like, everyone knows what should I do? I guess I should tell everybody. No one cares. And that's, that's what makes me feel so bad for her. Everybody already knows.

They don't care. You know, they don't. So then Bria at this dinner, Bria decides that she wants to have a moment to, oh, because Bria hasn't seen Silas in a long time. And so they had a phone call where he's trying to get flights. And he's like, I tried to look for flights, but they're all double the price now. And she goes, no, I can find a cheaper. No, baby, I just had the 14 hour workday and I come home and I'm angry now. He was like, come on, I'm going to look. He goes, oh, you don't believe me now?

Like, I'm not telling you the truth that I just worked on a watch for 14 hours. Really? Really, really? Really? Really? Really? You know, the expression is that even a broken clock is right two times a day, but I don't have broken clocks.

I work with watches. How could you say those things to me? And Bri is like, well, dick withdrawal is a real thing. I was like, even when is that dick? Like seriously, that's what you're thinking. Why? Listening to this man being like, oh, you don't believe me about the airline flight I'm going to, I can't believe you're talking to me like that, Bria.

That's, that's who you want to fuck right now. Really? That is like the most unfuckable situation we're talking about, right? He's coming off as so unfuckable right now. I know, the man who pulled up last season in like a Lambo to be like, yeah, I am German and I am wealthy is now like, no, plane tickets are now at $1,200 instead of $1,000.

Yeah. So anyway, I was cackling through that. Dick withdrawal is real. You know what they should invent? They should invent a way that you can have sex with your partner, even when you're not with them. And then like see them fully naked in everything. Whoever does that's gonna be rich.

I was like, oh my God, it's called your hand and FaceTime. Like seriously, where's my money? I know Pink wrote a whole song about it. It's called you and your hand. So anyway, so at dinner, while everyone is being emotional, she's like, okay, well, I need to be honest with myself, which is that I don't want Mariah here. I can't even walk by a sock anymore without being retraumatized. So I have to be true. I was trying to be the bigger person, but I cannot,

cannot have Mariah here. Jasmine, I hope you understand that." So then Jasmine's like, Hmm, I'm trying to understand. I'm frustrated, but I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated. I'm not, okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm just extremely livid at you and I never want to see your face again, but I'm not mad at you. I hear you. I just detest you from the depths of my soul right now. I hear you. I just detest you from the depths of my soul right now. That's all. Yeah. Brea does not give a shit. She's going to have this big, huge scene, no matter what. And she's not getting away with having a scene because she keeps getting upstaged.

The first time they talked it down. The second time Shanice took over. And the third time she's like, fuck it, the Moriah just can't come. She's not even mad at Moriah. She's just mad that she hasn't been able to have her scene and she has to keep getting the Annie every time she starts the scene. So now she's saying, Moriah can't come. And if this doesn't work, next time she's going to be like, you know what? I've decided I'm murdering all of you at this stage. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's just trying to elevate it for her scene. And hopefully she's finally getting enough because Moriah, she didn't deserve this. I mean, you're really villainizing her to the point where this is not cool at this point.

Yeah, Moriah only got kicked out because of Phil or they just decided that had to be all equal, all aggressions needed to be, you know, excised. And that's not fair because all sins are not the same. And what she did, quote unquote, what she did was very light compared to what he did. And it's not cool to villainize someone to this point on national television.

And I mean, it's not good. And so they need to cut this shit with Mariah. Also last week, Phil was not pointing a gun at Preston. I don't know why I said that. I thought he was, I said it I don't know why I said that. I thought he was. I said it. Oh, I thought I said it.

He was pointing a tequila bottle, I guess, at him, like a gun. Like a gun. And saying, we're doing shots, and I don't want anybody to be a pussy, or whatever he said to. I don't even think he said that word. I think he just said,

like, I don't want anyone to be a wussy about it. And Preston's like, the disrespect, I was bullied as a child. Which I think is also a bit ridiculous, but disrespects, I was bullied as a child, which I think is also a bit ridiculous, but you know, Phil was a piece of shit, but God, he was a funny piece of shit. That would make more sense because I was like, it's crazy that they allowed him to point a gun at someone. Yeah, people are like, just while I'm, while we're casing somebody of being a little bit over dramatic in their accusations last week, I'm like, and then Bill brought in a machine gun against Preston.

Guys, don't listen to us for facts, okay? But, um, yes. Preston just got engaged. So congrats to Preston. Congratulations to Preston. Yeah. Um, so anyway, the whole episode ended with Jasmine crying, like, I'm going through a lot right now.

So, uh, a surprise contender for the, I'm going through a lot right now, Olympics that are happening on the show and Jasmine has thrown her hat in the ring So we will see how it all of a show about people on a vacation for three weeks That is all paid for in a mansion are literally crying every day about how much they're going through America Love I love our modern our modern world. Okay, so not by the back of my day, I had to go to a well for water. Actually, I was thinking today how it is like pioneer days where I had to go to the well for water because every day I drink this gigantic jug of water, this gallon thing of water from HydroJug.

Thanks HydroJug. Ding! But I drink this every day and so I have to sit there at the refrigerator thing every morning and just, it's like going to the well. I have to sit there and fill this thing. It takes forever. You press the little handle, it's like, I wouldn't be able to. My fridge is slow with the water, yeah. Mine too.

I have to sit there and wait for the water to fill up. And I literally was thinking today, it feels like little house on the prairie. Did you, by the way, did you feel like a connection with a mirror on on summer house when he said I can't buy my hydro jug? I didn't even hear him say that. That's funny. Yeah, he was like looking around in his room. It was just one of those like summer house cutaways where he's like, can't buy my hydro jug.

That's yeah, I timed it. It takes me 45 seconds to fill up the pint glass from my fridges water thing, which I think that's probably. That's why people are dying from lack of water because their refrigerator's just so slow. I'm going through a lot right now, guys. Guys, we're going through a lot. Okay, so that was Summer House.

Full recaps coming back next week. Okay, now let's move on to Real Housewives of Potomac. This was a very sad-isfying. I was going to try and mix gratifying with sad, but then it came to satisfying. I guess satisfying if it was spelled with a D. Satisfying. It was satisfying because both Candice and Robin, this was their final farewell. Have to say, guys, I did not think, oh, thatace and Robin, this was their final farewell, have to say, guys, I

did not think, oh, that sucks as I watch this. I thought they were going to pull out some kind of performance that's really going to make us go like, oh, you guys can't leave the show. But I was like, bye, by the end of this, even though I've liked them both at different times. Robin came out on her podcast today or yesterday and confirmed the news and said, yes, I will not be returning for season nine of Real Housewives of Potomac. She said it was not her own decision. Today.com has reached out, but hasn't heard back. She says, this reality, the network did not invite me back. I was fired for lack of better words. I will not sugarcoat the situation and say, oh, I'm walking away and this is a break or anything like that.

It was a network decision. I want to respect the network and respect the show and wait until the season ended. Well, I respect her for not doing the typical thing and saying like, I just decided I want to pursue other interests. You know, just embellish is just taking over too much time. I respect that she's like, yeah, I got fired. Candice, meanwhile, her announcement today is that she's pregnant.

So there's that. What? Oh, wow, I didn't see that. We can talk about it more at crappy hour. But I felt like, no, there isn't, honestly. I kind of was like, what else? She's pregnant. But congrats to like, no, there isn't. Honestly, I kind of like what else? Congrats. Yeah, no, that was the big news. So that is actually really amazing for her. And you know, she should she deserves a pregnancy without

having to deal with the bullshit on the show. So anyway, the episode that people at least call back and maybe leave her some like tweets with quotes she had about Ashley's pregnancy. Anyway, the episode- I hope that people at least call back and maybe leave her some tweets with quotes she had about Ashley's pregnancy. Well, that was going on. That'll be fun. But yeah, all housewifery said and done, good for her in real life, good for her.

Yeah, IRL, good for her. And congrats to- It's an IRL BFH. Congrats to Dot who's gonna have someone new to terrorize. Yeah. So last week there was a cliffhanger recording was like, I want to, you know, like everyone there's something that many, many of you may have suspected, but many of you probably didn't know. So it was like, okay, what's it going to be? What's it's going to be like? I'm back at work at the joint. That's what I thought it was going to be. But it wound up being a pretty serious topic. He basically reveals that he has been

diagnosed with bipolar. Um, is it bipolar disorder? Do we not say disorder anymore? I don't know what it is, but, um, he's, and he says that he's actually bipolar one and that like, if it could have been like bipolar two, three, four or five, he would have been all of those. He's just like super, super bipolar. Yeah. I've never heard this discussed like that. Like, oh my God, guys, I just, I got the blood test back. I am bipolar. I've never heard it discussed like this, but everybody is acting like it's, I mean, I don't know, I don't know how to

describe it. Have you ever heard somebody talk about it like this? Like, well, guys, we find it out. I actually don't know if I have. I mean, I have a very close friend who is bipolar too. So, I've had a lot of discussions about bipolar and what it means and a lot of that with them, but I've never heard it discussed like, wow, I finally found it. I've just discovered I'm bipolar. Everyone's like, oh my God, the bravery. So, they start talking about that and basically, they start talking about it like, wow, that's so heroic that you're discussing this on TV. Bipolar is kind of a, like, wow, that's so heroic that you're discussing this on TV. Bipolar is kind of a, this is tricky, isn't it? I hear myself talking and I don't like it. But I'm just going to continue. You're going through a lot right now.

I'm going through a lot right now. I'm going to continue because I'm not saying it's not a big deal or fuck him or whatever. I'm just saying there's almost like a level of shame about it. Like everyone's like, I can't believe you're discussing bipolar, where I guess I've always thought of it as just kind of another diagnosis that a lot of people have. I think, like, I feel like we're trying to move into a direction where we're destigmatizing mental health, where if someone says, I have bipolar, it's the same as saying something like, oh, it turns out I have lupus. And no one would be like, oh, lupus.

I mean, people would be like, oh, I'm sorry you're going through that. But like, you know, with other medical diagnoses, we say, oh, okay, you have that. Like, oh, this is something that I have. And I think we're trying as a society to be like less, yeah, just less, just not stigmatizing it because I think I'm assuming what you're trying to say is that by talking about you're so brave for saying that whatever it actually implies that actually this

is taboo and this is shameful that you have it and the fact that you're coming out to announce it. To me, it's implying that it's this shameful, horrible thing when I think of it as kind of not average, but I mean, I've heard of it a lot. I mean, it's something that people go through and I don't think, I think that people watching this might be like, well, damn, you know, I didn't realize it was this bad. But anyway, they start discussing the bipolar disorder bad. But anyway, they start discussing the bipolar disorder, and he's talking about how it fucks with you, and it makes you think certain things are going on when they're not necessarily going on. Like you get furious with other people sometimes thinking everyone around me is slow, and this isn't me, this is everybody else. And he is seeing now that he knows what it is, he can see episodes kind of throughout his entire life

where he can attribute them to that. And then, and Andy's asking, can you see it coming when it sets in? And Gordon says he can't, but Mia can. And he says the people around him can see it, but the question is whether or not when they warn him that can he take it in, can he understand it. And Gordon's basically like, you know, before our separation, she was warning me, she was telling me, and I just didn't listen. So, but now,

you know, yeah, he's talking about that. And then Andy's like, well, when you reached out to the other gentlemen and you were texting them about what happened in your marriage, he's like, yeah, I was deep in mania. And it was like an exaggerated frustration and anger. And Andy goes, and when you locked me in the room, and he's like, locked her in the room, he's like, yeah, you locked her in her room

and took her cell phone. He's like, oh, I did not remember that I did that. Yeah, this whole scene is so fucking weird to me. I don't know what to say about it, except that it's just weird. He doesn't remember, that's not what bipolar is, where you just, as far as I know, where you just black out and forget things

that you locked somebody in a room, that's, I don't understand what's going on here. So Andy's like, are you medicated? Is there medication that can help? And he goes, there is medication I can take, but it's important to do the work, like to continue to do the work yourself. I'm like, but you still, you need to take those medications.

I mean, that's very important to take the medication. That I do know. And so he's saying he doesn't remember locking in the room, which is weird. And then he's like, but that's what happens. You don't remember everything. So I'm not saying I didn't, I'm just saying I don't remember. And he says, well, do you believe she was having an affair?

And he's like, during the marriage, yes. The duration of it? No. Let me just say this. Mia has been absolutely wonderful. And you can say, why would you say that when all this other stuff is happening? Well, I forgive her and she forgives me. And I believe that I had gotten control of this manic behavior, Mia would still be with me. Yeah. And he says, I don't think she left me because she

wants to be with someone else. She left me because she just couldn't take this anymore. And it's like, right, right, right. But also maybe she wants to be with someone else. So- There is an edge to this and I'm glad someone finally said it because he's very much like, everybody, don't worry. Mia did not leave me because I'm poor. She left me because I'm ill.

So let's all lighten up on Mia, okay? I know, I'm like, also she wasn't getting that deed and that was also discussed. So, um, so they're like crying and everything and, um, and he says that like things were really, really so bad for him. So he was feeling so low he checked himself into a hospital and Mia showed up the next morning and took care of him and showed up every day except for one day and got him a change of clothes. And he lives 70 miles away. It was like just talking about

that she went above and beyond. And she, Gisele's like, well, it seems like Mia, like you've been committed to making sure that he's okay. So what about Gordon? What's the path So what about Gordon? What's the path moving forward for Gordon? Yeah. And basically she's like, I'm going to take care of Gordon forever. And Gisele's like, so you're going to still take care of him? And she goes, yeah, I'm forever going to take care of Gordon. And Gordon's like,

I appreciate it, but I'm good now. And I understand my illness and I understand how to control it. And so Andy's like, wow, congratulations on being so brave. And they're like, yes, yes. You know, it's a very feeling moment. I'm feeling really uncomfortable with my own discussion on the- Well, don't worry. You made it through. It's over. I know whatever I said was problematic. I feel it.

I'm not going to cut it because I really don't understand even what I'm saying, except, you know, there's no shame, obviously, in the mental illness, that's what I was trying to get at. Like, he shouldn't be ashamed. This whole thing's just coming off weird to me. I don't know what to say. It's just weird. They're a weird couple, okay? Pete I mean, this is the least of the strange things between them. And this is not even strange.

So, Andy is like, well, it's brave of you to be so open about this. And I think it's so beautiful, the relationship that you do have. And clearly, there's a lot of love. And wow, I think you made a commitment to not only him, but like, I think about what a great mommy you are Mia, and you know, and giving your children something that you wanted for your kid. If you want to cry right now, please cry. And while you're sobbing about this beautiful moment in your marriage, let me ask you, what's going on with the new boyfriend? How big is his dick? I got a dick, Pigs want to show it to me. Come on, now. I want to see. I want to see ink. I think that's kind of like hearing you just talk about it, I think that's what's getting me,

is just like how good Mia is at this. Like I have to give Mia some credit here. Mia married Gordon, she married some rich guy she met in a strip club, right? He loses his money, she's immediately fucking out of there. And I'm just saying what we've seen as an audience, okay? He loses his money, she's out of there. She's fucking some other guy. Then we find out she's been fucking him since before they were even married and still went to marry Gordon just because he

was rich. And she's still getting off at the end of this by being the most sympathetic person on the stage. I mean, it's well done. It's well done. It is well done. Very well. So Gordon, so Gordon has a good relationship with our cordial relationship with Inc. I mean, we saw that earlier and you know, he, he, Gordon concedes that he did things to push me away and um, but like he knows that she still loves, loves him and his relationship with his family is like much better now. And everything's like on the up and up.

Um, and he's like, I understand why my, my brothers and sisters kicked me out as CEO cause I was in a manic phase and all the lawsuits are dropped and like, it seems like actually everything if we are to believe him, although, you know, but these two, it's hard to know what to believe, what not to believe, but it sounds like it sounds like he's right at the ship and, um, you know, with these two, it's hard to know what to believe, what not to believe, but it sounds like, it sounds like he's right at the ship and he's going down a good path now. Yeah, and he still has his shares, by the way.

That's the important part. He does not have the job anymore of being CEO or whatever he was, co-CEO, but he does still have his shares. Commercials, here comes one right now. So Annie's like, wow, what a beautiful story. Stake anyone? Kidding. Okay, let's move over to NECA.

So now we start talking about NECA's being the new girl in Potomac this year. But as their friendship with Dr. Wendy rapidly went south, the group was sifting through enough drama to warrant another unpacking party where everybody was supposed to show up at her house and unpack her ship for free, even though they didn't really know her that well. Wow, what nuts. What nuts that took. Lots to clarify, but first, Ronald from McDonald's says, I hope you never go back to that OB we saw he was very dismissive of your concerns oh the doctor taking a taking a stray at the reunion and he's like well what's going on right now with your baby so NECA says that the IUI which by the way

lot of confusion last week IUI we clarified that Mia was talking about, it was Mia right, who was talking about it right? Mia said I was the one who promoted that she said IUD and it was an IUI, totally different concept. Yeah, it was Mia who was talking, yes, because we were talking about so yes, how does she not know if she was pregnant with Gordon's child or not? And I thought she had been artificially inseminated. And we thought it was called, I think I was calling it IVU or something. And you were calling it IUD or whatever. And I was like, no, IUD, not IUV, IUD. And it was a disaster. So thank you for everyone who corrected us. But also the answer to that from what I learned

is it was an artificial insemination, meaning they put the sperm in there, but if she had been messing around with this other guy, then he still could have gotten his little fighters in there and they could have still had a chance. So that's why there was a question. So everybody, thank you for all the explanations of the human body.

Yeah, it's hard when there's all these acronyms that start with IU. So, um... IUD, like a weapon, like a... Interuterine device. Oh, you know, I'm not even going to say what it is at this point, because I'm going to say something wrong. But it is... No, that's an IED, an improvised explosive device. It's not. Well, this is a CBD and whatever it is, ballistic missile. I don't know. Is a type of long acting reversible contraception that provides birth control for three to 10 years. Wow. Yeah. So that's what I thought was what was happening,

which is why I was confused by things last week. Um, I don't even know what a vagina is. I thought it was a car for many years. So I'm really not an expert on this. Okay. So the Toyota vagina, NECA, she didn't re yield results from what we from what we guys saw when her husband was spooching in the doctor's office, which by the way is just how it is. People also told us that. They're like, yeah, that's normal. You need the fresh sperm. So the husband goes right in and serves it up on a platter.

That's how it works. So she's trying IVF now and Andy is like, okay, Santa from Francisco says, Karen, can you explain the difference between North Potomac and Potomac? And Karen's like, her mouth is going to walk away with her at this point. Her mouth is moving more than ever. Her mouth is a different person. It's a person on top of a person. That's probably why she has to say, let's be very clear so often because she's like, well, you know, I understand my lips are moving in many different directions, so my words may get mangled. So let me be very clear about this. The part that Nekka lives in is North Potomac, and I thought it was my responsibility to those who

may be visiting the county to show where North Potomac is in relation to East, West, South, and Central. That's all. And he's like, what part of Potomac are you in? And Rey is like, Central. She's like, thank you, baby. Thank you. Thank you, baby. She's like, thank you, baby. Thank you. Thank you, man. She looks like she's talking under a strobe light. You know when they use strobe lights on stage and it makes people look like they're talking? Yeah. Yes. It's a video exclusive. Okay. So, thank you, baby. Okay. Well, Ashley, Starcasm wants to know if you can, oh, sorry.

Ashley from Starcasm. Yes. Go for it, I quit. Ashley from Starcasm wants to know if you can tell us about your time in Wisconsin. Wow, what an interesting question to ask that I'm sure is on top of so many people's minds. Tell us. Neckha cannot win, I'm telling you. Well, maybe she can.

She's not though, she's not winning. That's bad when people are like, hey, you know what Neckha, here's a burning question from the audience. Let's talk about Wisconsin. Hey, you know there's a top chef there right now, right? NECA? Do you rec- Okay.

All right. Uh, Ashley from StarCasm has a follow up question, which is, Hey, do you recognize that restaurant that was on last week's Top Chef? Cause you live there, right? By the way, worst Top Chef season in a while. Sorry. Had to be said. I, I like it.

These chefs suck. Everybody's going to make a fucking, uh, what were the balls that they were making? They all, they all made, um, croquettes. They all made croquettes. They all fried croquettes. And then there was, um, yeah, they all, they all are actually kind of bad. Um, and that I do enjoy the guy from Wisconsin only because his accent is hilarious. He talks like this. He's like, well, what I'm making today for you right now is like a cheese and a cheese sauce. Yeah. And I know that we talked about Wisconsin, a couple of people were like, come on guys, I'm from Wisconsin. Stop being stereotypical. A, hello, this is Watch What Crap

and stuff. But B, they're totally stereotypical on this show. Every challenger like, guess what we're making today guys? Something with cheese. Hey, you know what we love here? Cheese. Hey, we're gonna have some boiled meat and cheese. Here's the boiled meat and cheese challenge. Go for it.

It's like, come on now, really? You're giving cheese curds as an ingredient. I was really sad. Honestly, I have been missing Padma, like especially this past week when they did a challenge out at like a farm and the blazing sun. And so this episode, Gail had like a farmer's tan that she couldn't, she had like a big red farmer's tan. And he just knew Padma would have been just staring at it like amateur.

Gail, you understand cheese is not the same thing as suntan lotion, stop spreading it on your chest. Yeah, I think Kristin's doing a good job. It's just, yeah, it's missing the, it's missing something. I don't know if it's her personality. I think it's just a weird season. I'm just not loving the season. I think Kristin's doing a good job. I think it's just a weird season. I'm just not loving the season. I think Kristen's doing a good job.

I think Kristen's doing a functionally good job. She's good, like she's fine on camera. She has expertise with food. But if you ask me, what is Kristen's personality? You literally could not tell me what it is. Like what is Kristen? And I think that is the downfall. Yeah, I'll tell you what.

Gail is a lot different without Padma. Gail's like way like more highfalutin and also she stopped wearing patterns. Did you notice that? I wonder if all the- She was wearing Amanda's outfit. I think all of her terrible patterns have been some kind of like speaking out

against Padma in some way. And then now that Padma is gone, she's just like, I don't need patterns anymore. Like Gail has stopped relying on the crutch that is terrible patterns and she's just showing up in solids. It's the weirdest thing. And she's acting like, oh, well, well, I didn't like it

because, I'm like, Gail, who are you even? Like she's a whole different person now with that Padma there. She was wearing on Summer House, Amanda has a interview look where it's like a blazer. And then one part of the blazer was like over her shoulder. And there was like a strap and Gail wore that this week to like the Frank Lloyd Wright challenge where they had to.

Why are we talking about Frank Lloyd Wright for an hour and looking at architecture and people going, Oh my God, Ross Stone, that is amazing. This is a fucking cooking show, cook something. What's this? Padma did, the last thing I'll say about it is that Padma put up a video on her Instagram yesterday where she was like interviewing her daughter about slang and she's like, why can't I say the slang? And her daughter's like, cause you're old mom. She's like, but wait, why can't, what about sus? Can I say the word sus? And she's like, no, Mom,

but it's short for suspect. What if I need to say suspect, but I don't have enough time to say the entire word? I can't do this anymore, daughter. Do I have the riz? Just tell me I have the riz. Am I passing? Mother. We'll talk more about Padma later tonight. I'm dance on tick tock. There's actually some Padma news that we are probably going to cover tonight on crappy hours. So I'm going to put it in there.

I don't care about that here. And I started it. I'm so sorry. Okay. So Wisconsin, that's who started it. Wisconsin. So we find out that Wendy is actually from Wisconsin or maybe we do and I just forgotten. I literally still don't care. I don't care. I'm trying to. I don't care. You can't just tell me somebody's interesting.

They have to actually be interesting, not buying it. How have we not gotten an announcement about Nekka leaving yet? What's next, right? Well, I just, you know what? Oddly enough, I want Nekka leaving yet. What's next, right? Well, I just, you know what? Oddly enough, I want Nekka to stay because I feel like she's been done so dirty by the show. I know you have a very good theory,

which is like, you're not funny. She's not funny enough in her interviews, which I think is really damning, and I cannot fight you on that, I agree. But I also think they just do her so dirty. Hello there, this is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. think they just do her so dirty. No baloney! Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles.

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