Watch What Crappens - #2413 Summer House: Mommy Issues

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

On Summer House (S08E11) Carl can’t hide that his parents don’t support his engagement… but maybe that was his plan all along?  Either way, there are so many awkward encounters with Lindsay this episode that we’re just barely recovering. Grab tickets for the Netflix is a Joke Fest in LA and our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love What happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and over there hacking up a lung because you just inhaled some saliva. I swatched it all, happened in slow motion. Mr. Ronnie Karam, I mean. What a way to start, wow, sorry everybody. Hey, I mean this show, Summer House is the show about inhaling saliva. It is the visual representation of that in human form personification of it.

Before we dive into that tonight, we are doing Netflix as a joke. Thank you to everyone who has bought tickets. It's basically sold out. Maybe it's already sold out by now. We're recording this a little bit ahead of time. Uh, in case you missed the announcement, we are going to recap the episode of house hunters that aired this week with nudists. So nudists trying to settle on a house. So, uh, in Florida. So the episode is something like just look up house hunters nudists.

It's the only one there is. Yeah. And, uh, you can watch that. It's on, we saw it on YouTube TV. I don't know if it's on Max, but it's on YouTube TV, which means it's probably on whatever platform you use. So check that out. And for tickets to our European shows in London, Birmingham, and Dublin, go to watchcrappens.com.

London is just like, the only tickets left are like the VIP tickets. There's some VIP tickets left. Everything else is on wait lists. So thanks to everyone who showed up and bought tickets. We cannot wait for that show. And that's Dublin and Birmingham are after that. So go get your tickets. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.

I'm so excited to go. I know. I'm really excited to talk to summer house today because I was texting Ron. This is one of those episodes where I texted Ronnie. I was like, oh my God, I was like the first 14 minutes of this episode, I'm like beside myself. And then it just kept getting better and better and better. Oh, it was like a Lindsay and Carl Bonanza.

I lost my mind. Oh my God. I was like, we're gonna have so much to say. It was a good moment for a lot of animals today. Pigeons made out well. There was a squirrel who made out well, got a lot of scenes. And the squirrels in New York are just so bold.

I mean, it just stares right at the camera like, what? What? You fucking got a nut? You got a fucking nut? Then look the other way, motherfucker. I ain't looking at you. I'm looking at you. Got the camera on me.

All right. You need me to sign a paper? Am I gonna be on TV? All right, I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I saw some squirrels in Central Park last weekend, and they were like, chasing each other. And I was like weekend and they were like chasing each other. And I said, why are you guys chasing each other? There's more than enough room for all of you.

Look at these trees. Look at this grass. And they're just like, they're just like, just watch the squirrels chase each other in circles and up trees and down trees. And then they come down to the tree and they stare at Bueller and then they get him running. And then Bueller's running around a tree. I mean, that is just, squirrels just add so much to this world. They do. Uh, but this was a big pigeon forward episode. In fact, the episode opens with a pigeon that's just dancing, just like a pigeon be like, Hey, Hey, it's just like having the best time. Just like, Hey, I'm on summer house. I've got to make my splash. I'll be the

next cast member. Oh, and by the way, one thing I loved about this episode, there were so many throwbacks to like season one in terms of cast members and flashbacks. It's pretty amazing. Not to take away from the pigeon. Sorry. Sorry, Gary. I know, but where did mine fuck? Where'd I upstage this pigeon?

So Bravo continues its carnival obsession this year with another shot in a carnival. This one is the boys in some carnival themed place playing basketball, like the little basketball games, this year with another shot in a carnival. This one is the boys in some carnival themed place playing basketball, like the little basketball games, you know where the holes are too small to get the basketball in? Yeah.

Cheating game, fucking cheating game. Stupid, it's like they're playing that, it's like Kyle and West. We see the pigeon again, this time the pigeon's like, oh, second shot, okay, we're gonna change it up. I'm on TV. So Gabby's FaceTiming with her parents and they're like, what are you doing?

And she's like, well, first, I'm so busy, you guys. First, I'm going to a bachelorette party for Lindsay and then I'm going to Italy. They're like, oh my God, Gabby. And she's like, yeah, I did that. I know, they're like, you know how many men are in Italy, Gabby, this is gonna be so fun. Find a penis, please find a penis.

So now we settle in on Paige and Craig walking by the river and Craig's like, why is that water so rough? It's like really moving. It's a river, Craig, rivers move. It's how it works. It's the Hudson River specifically. Maybe it's the East River. I don't know. I don't know what river it is.

I don't know what river it is, but one thing I do know is you're very dumb, Craig. Very, very dumb. So she's making a romantic picnic for Craig. And because, you know, she was just shamed on national TV by Danielle about giving Craig nothing. So she's like, I'll buy some cured meats. That'll solve everything. So she takes him to this picnic and she's like, isn't it adorable?

He goes, it is. She goes, is it really? Because it's eating, which is gross, and it's outside, which is gross. So two grosses make a not gross. I don't know. But here we are. So Danny, I hope Danielle's watching this. Camera getting this.

Ew, there's like a pigeon nearby doing a selfie. It's like, do you think you're famous or something? So, Paige is like, I'm sorry, Craig goes, is this how it feels to be you? No, I would never do something as pathetic as this. But anyway, chicken, sometimes I feel like I don't show you enough that I appreciate you and love you. And that makes me laugh,

cause it's hilarious watching you look sad. But I'm on camera. Thank you so much for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me make you feel like you're not part of this relationship. It's a real thrill for me. You know, Danielle told me recently that I give nothing and I thought finally, somebody

sees me. Should I marry Danielle? Here's a sandwich. What? Where's the sandwich? It's nothing, Craig. I give you nothing. This pic picnic basket is full of nothing and it never will be.

I love you so much. My love language are gifts of nothing. I wish she had done that. Just wanted to show you how I feel. This is a picnic basket with nothing inside. You understand what I'm trying to say? Is it about the river? So choppy. So she says, you know, why am I coughing? If I, I swear to God, if I get even a tickle in my throat, I'm going to fucking lose it.

This happens every time I go to LA and it will not happen today. I'm successful. I'm going to have a great time. I'm going to find a place to move to. I'm moving back to Los Angeles and nothing is gonna stop me. I can't go anywhere. You inhaled some spit. And then what happens is when you inhale stuff, and when something goes down the wrong pipe,

there's like residual pipe cleaning that needs to happen. So you're okay. Anyway, you're not asking for validation. So, nothing. Okay, so Pigeon, Gabby's parents, Craig Picknick. Okay, so it's like, isn't this adorable? So Paige is like, yeah, I don't show you I love with you. And you know, and sometimes I throw a lot of things at you,

figuratively, I mean, although there was that time I threw the Apple remote at you and then couldn't get the touchscreen to work on it, a little clicky thing that sucked. That was the way. If you bought me another Apple remote, because it's really annoying. Having to use my iPhone. It was really awkward when I threw that remote at you and it like hit your head and got wedged into your hair.

Her hair is so stiff. So she said, I had to click you every time I wanted to change the show. Turned out it was actually really fun. Hold on, let me put you on mute. So Craig's like, oh, you're not easy. Well, nothing worth having is easy. And I'm definitely not easy. I'm not like, as I like to say, Danielle.

We like to say that word instead of easy around here. She's easy and somehow no one else is ever hard around her. It's not weird. It's crazy how that happens. You know what? I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm like not the most openly emotional person, but I'm dating someone who is exceptionally emotional and I have to remind myself that sometimes, you know,

I have to be a little kinder and sweeter before I remind him how pathetic he is. He's awful. Well, sometimes I don't know if you like me or not. And that may seem crazy to you. No, sometimes I don't like you. This is great. Wait, can you just, hold on a second.

I just wanna like, I just wanna take in your insecurity right now. It's just so hilarious to me. Well, it's just that sometimes like, I get the feeling like you just don't like me. So my communication is good, is what you're saying. It's wonderful. That was the best thing you could have said to me today.

I love that. I love that you're really feeling it. So he's like, I mean, I would say that like, you know, my business is taking off and like you talking about like apartments, sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm like, cool with this whole situation. Like, let's get married. But then like, there's like some benefits

about not waiting too long. Oh, Craig, did you start a sentence and you didn't know where to take it again? Okay, I'll wait. You do have a point. And she's like, okay, well, is there an age that it would be like, okay, now you start a sentence and you didn't know where to take it again? Okay, I'll wait. You do have to point it out. And she was like, okay, well, is there an age that it would be like, okay, now it's been too long? And he's like, well, I mean, I want my first child by 40.

Craig, you already look 40 though. No, but by the time I actually am 40. But still you started looking 40 like two seasons ago. No, but I mean like, by the time I really am 40. 28. That was the year when I decided I would be too old for this relationship. And the funny thing is I'm 30 now.

So it's weird how that worked out. It's so weird because I realized that my goal was to break up with you when I'm 40. So it's odd that we're not really compromising on how we're not gonna compromise. So. We're not really compromising on how we're not going to compromise. And she just like, she basically doesn't know what to do. And so she's just saying things to him to make him feel better.

She's been honest with him. Okay. She's been honest with him, but somehow everything's in her court to quit everything in her life to move to fucking Charleston for Craig because Craig has a store on King Street Guess what? You don't work at that. Don't tell me you're in that store 24 or that they give a shit Your partner is running that whole business. Everybody knows it good for you By the way that you're in that position he can move to the world is everyone can move I think if she can move then he can move

I don't like that the situation is just that it's all up to her and that's it. So until you're ready to move, you're wasting my time. Well, how about you're wasting your own goddamn time, okay? You can get a golf cart in New York City. Well, you probably can't, but you know what I mean. Yeah, you can get a golf cart in San Fernando Valley, apparently, based on what we saw Jackson Brittany do two weeks ago.

So Craig is like, well, you know what, Jake, it's okay to change your mind and it's okay for you to tell me things, but I don't like being insecure in our relationship, which I try to fight a lot because I don't wanna be a pussy. Well, that's cute. That's cute that-

That ship has sailed. Down the river, it's so choppy. Yes. Damn it, Craig. How do rivers work? So he was like, yeah, I mean, like, cause if I was 40, then I'd be like, oh my God, now I'm 40.

Yeah, Craig. And then, but you'd, but I'd be like, but Craig, at least you started looking 45 years ago. Wait a minute. What were you saying? Yeah, but I'd be like, I'm 40 now, and now I have to fall in love again and find an apartment. And I'd be like, I'm 40 now, and now I have to fall in love again and find an apartment, and I'd be like, oh my God,

you know what, Craig, you knew it. Your gut was telling you, she's never leaving New York for you. So where does engagement fall for you now? I'm like, if your gut is telling you that, then go. Just go. Yeah. Craig, don't go though, I like them together. They're so cute.

Damn it, I don't know what to do. Well, look, I don't want you to think that because it's taking me longer, that it's something that you're doing. Okay, I'm fully invested. I'm just planning it out and I'm just thinking, how long can I just wait for his business to go under? Listen, it's not you, Craig.

It's the fact that I really don't like you that much. I can't imagine being with you for that much longer. Do you understand? At some point, people just have all the pillows they need. So when that happens, we can just then decide on New York. Basically, here's the race, okay? It's not really a race to the altar. It's a race to see who can get canceled first.

You or Hannah Berner. So, you're on Southern Charm and she's Hannah Berner. So, it could really go either way. Yeah, we're just gonna see. Giggly Squad or Sewing Down South. It's kind of a win-win situation for me and I'm just gonna play the waiting game. Okay, so they have the talk that they've had

a zillion times, like where are they gonna raise children? And she does give him that she doesn't know when, but she does know that she wants it to be with him. So that's cute. And she's like, I mean, do you think I may let you go now that you finally grew your hair out and dress like Jordan Belfort? Yeah, who's Jordan Belfort again?

Is that a river? Oh God. You know what? It's over. So then we go to Lindsay and Carl's apartment and Lindsay is picking up laundry off the floor and she's like, babe, do you have any lights? Which if the question is lights on, I'm not sure Carl does these days.

And he's just sort of looking like sad and vacant behind his eyes. He's so miserable in this situation. So she's, she's collecting laundry and everything. Cause there's like a more light, a huge more life neon sign. And he's like dead behind the eyes. And it's just the juxtaposition. He's just like, yeah, babe, I can't find more lights. The fact that more life is framed on this dead on the vine relationship is amazing.

And last week his stepfather was wearing a more life shirt as he was like, run girl, you in danger girl. I learned that from Ariana. You in danger girl. So you can just tell that they hate each other just by the way Carl responds. When she says, do you have any lights as in like, you know, like colored laundry or whatever, he goes, ah, do not know. Ah, no. Like, okay, this is someone who, this is a couple that does not communicate because most couples, if you say,

do you have any lights or whites or whatever? No. I'm trying to guess, is there a right answer to this? Am I gonna get it right? I just got so nervous. Do I have lights? Well, he's also just like, I don't want her to do my laundry.

She's not touching my laundry. All he wears are white pants. Of course he has lights. Yes, he has lights. He just doesn't want her doing his laundry or something. So now he's like sitting on the sofa and she's like, so how was your week? How was your visit?

How was your mom? How was your mom and Lou? Yeah, it was good. I really enjoyed hanging out, yeah. The Jersey Shore, is that what you were, the Jersey, you can do it, go ahead, talk faster. Yeah, the Jersey Shore. And I saw my mother and-

Did you get a job? Did not get a job. You can talk faster? Oh, it just made me really nervous right now. Hold on, I'm just like really overwhelmed. I'm just like, I wanna take this sentence just like a little bit slower. It's like literally hard nervous right now. Hold on, I'm just like really overwhelmed. I'm just like, like I wanna take this sentence just like a little bit slower. It's like literally hard talking right now.

She is like, okay, okay, okay, come on, come on. You're just as sure you're with your mom, you're with Lou, come on. Well, I love seeing my mom, obviously. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm okay, did they give you any advice? Which is an odd question. This is all leading me to believe that she's like,

how did it go? Well, we can talk about it later. And she's like, okay, so we have to wait for the cameras to be here for us to talk about it. It's like a reality show couple, you know? Cause she's like, okay, let's get to it. What was the advice? She goes, he's like, hmm, trying to think

whether or not any like nuggets. Um, like he's such a bad liar too. And she, that this is, this is the side of Lindsay that I love is that like she sees and she's so perceptive, like there's certain things that she's not perceptive about at all. She's totally clueless about, but when she sees like a guy bullshitting her, like she knows you cannot like, you cannot hide the bullshit from Lindsay and her eyes are just like, they're narrowing and like she's got that terminator view on and she sees Carl

trying to do some bullshit as he's like, um, yeah, I try to think if there was any nuggets from this conversation. And it's not just a guy, it's Carl. She's dated Carl before and she's been treated like shit by Carl before. So she knows all this, she knows this routine, right? So she's like, and also I think production must have said something to her, because who asks, hey, how was it with your mom and dad?

Did they give you any advice? Well, to be fair, I can imagine Carl saying, hey, I'm gonna go to Jersey Shore, I just wanna get some advice from my mom. Oh, okay. It's about what? Just, you know, just some advice, just about things. It's cool.

So you know, she's like, okay, so how was that advice? So like, I can see that side of it too. Okay, so who knows? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. I'm Shemole Yai, and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest,

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Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus. In the climate ravaged year of 2072, the city of Pura stands as a miraculous green haven, a geo-engineered paradise that protects fortunate residents from the global catastrophes of heat domes, fires, floods and droughts. Demetria Lopez heads up Pura's public relations, tirelessly promoting the city's idyllic image. But when she stumbles upon a dark secret that if exposed would be the downfall of Pyrra's existence, she must decide who and what she is willing to protect. From Wondery, the makers of Academy and Dr. Death, The Last City stars actors Rhea Seahorn,

Jeannie Tirado and Maury Stirling. Follow The Last City on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Last City early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then he's like, well, I mean, obviously they're asking about the wedding. I mean, what's going on? How are we doing?

Making sure that we're on track. Then I got my head on straight. Do I have any lights? I said, no, no, I don't have any lights. Where are you asking me? I'm not too stressed. I want to make sure I'm not too stressed. God, I'm so, am I stressed?

I'm feeling really stressed. Why are you yelling at me? Why are you yelling at me? You know, I can't be mad at my parents for being real with me, but what I do with that from here, like that's a big decision. And I'm like, just trying to figure that out. I'm just trying to take it slow, okay?

It's hard, okay? Because we haven't been in a great spot. My parents know we haven't been in a great spot because I always throw Lindsay under the bus when I talk to them. So like right now, we're in a better spot. So like, it's just like this weird feeling because like I don't want to go down this road

when we've like been healing, you know what I'm saying? Like, okay, Carl. Ah, so he's like, well, I like hearing from my parents, but I feel like, you know, Lindsay, I'm gonna do what I want no matter what. Just, um, well, what does that mean? I mean, what did they say? He's like, well, I mean, Justin Chilroll, you know,

like they wanna make sure we're in a good place before we're getting married. I mean, if my parents tell me like, you know what I mean? I'm just gonna do what I want. But if they're like, I'm still gonna be like I mean? I'm just gonna do what I want. But if they're like, wha, I'm still gonna be like, well, I'm gonna do what I want anyway. But if they're like, wha, I'm still gonna be like,

I'm gonna do what I, what does that mean? What are they saying? Nothing, no. They love you, they said that they love you. And pizza. They love you. And they said, you know what? Like, if I decide to ruin my life this way, it's fine.

I said, guys, stop it. What? No, they didn't say anything. It was cool. Everything was cool. You know, I said, I'm always like just trying to work through this, and I just want more of the support, not the questioning, and she's like,

questioning from them or from me? Oh, I mean, them. I mean, not them. They don't question anything. I mean, no, you, I mean, no, you don't question anything. I mean, uh, I'm just like really nervous right now. He's so ridiculous. He's clearly saying her and she goes, so are you talking about me now? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love you, of course. What else? I mean, this is just crazy. It's like nuts. Like I just, I just, I just know that I love you. Am I gonna do what I wanna do? Even if they're just like standing on the side of the road

going, ah! And he is digging himself into such a hole because it's like one wrong word and she picks up on it. She goes, and so he's like, I'm gonna still do what I'm gonna do. Um, were they telling you that we should break up then? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, I want to get some hot pockets. And they said, don't get those.

And I was like, no, they're like, nobody could burn your mouth. I was like, no, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, mom. So I really stood up. I was like pretty madly at that moment, I think. And he's clearly trying to get a reaction out of her. And I think she knows at this point what Carl is up to. Like she knows Carl well enough and she's just not going to give it to him. And he does it again later in the episode, trying to pull her into this thing where he's like, well, basically they hate you. So I talked to my parents, they fucking hate your guts and they were warning me, but I'm going to do what I want to anyway. It's

clear as day what he's saying. I am instead of getting pissed. She's just like, so they want us to break up. Is that where you're no, I would never. I mean, they love you. Of course there's, but you know, I'm going to do what I want, not what they want. So they want us to break up. No, why you got to feel like that? She's just not going to give him the reaction he wants and watching him tap

dance and still try and get it over and over is. It was beautiful. It's beautiful. Like I was like, it was amazing TV. I, my take on it's like a little different. It's not, it may not be a competing take, but my take on it is that Carl does, he, he can't deal with the conflict, especially because he kind of stokes it and then he's like uncomfortable when there is conflict. So he kind of like, he lets on that he's unhappy with Lindsay to his parents. And they're like,

well, you know what? You should not get married right now. And cause he wants someone to say that. And then, but then he sits with it. And now he feels awkward. He knows she's going to see it. So he feels like he's going to get in trouble. So he feels like he needs to sort of let on some of it. So that way it kind of like eases the pressure and the tension inside. And he thinks he can sort of just let a little out,

but not too much. And that way it'll ease everything. But she's like, wait, what? What? What? What? And then he's like, oh, oh, oh. And he's just trying to get out of it.

So to me, it's not that he's trying to get a reaction. To me, it's that he can't deal with the mess he's made. So he just keeps making more messes to try to do. I definitely see it different. I see him trying to trigger her on purpose to make an ass out of herself on TV. Cause I think the only way that he can communicate is with yelling when they're screaming and fighting at each other. That's the only time he gets it out where he's like,

you called me a coke head and you did this and that piss me off. Right. He has to make them the villains that way. He knows how to communicate and she's so good at communicating that way because she's always losing her temper. And it has the added bonus of making him look like the fucking victim. So he gets his parents to say this on TV. Then he goes to her and he's going to try to throw the parents under the bus by being like, I didn't say this. My parents are saying it, not me. But she's not getting angry. So he's not able to communicate what really happened because this is supposed to be a fight where she looks abusive and she's doing this to him and he's just poor

little innocent boy Carl. And he's just trying to do the right thing by abusive Lindsay and make his parents happy. And she's not doing it. And so he's starting to freak out more and more cause he's not getting what she wants, but she knows exactly what he wants and she's not gonna give it to him. And I say good for her cause that actually shows growth on this show. And you'd never see that on this show,

especially from Lindsay. I've never seen Lindsay grow on this show. So I don't know if she's growing as a person or she's just getting better at deflecting manipulation tactics from other people cause she's growing as a person or she's just getting better at deflecting manipulation tactics from other people because she's so manipulative herself. I don't know what it is, but it's nice to see some change. I'll say that. I think that he is also, he doesn't want to be a lot. I think Carl's thing is he never wants to be the bad guy. So sort of aligning with what you

have to say. Like he does, I think, like to get Lindsay agitated so that way he can say what's truly on his mind. And like a lot of times I think what he feels, he's afraid he's going to look like the bad guy. So if she's having a reaction, he's then safe to say something cause then she won't be the bad guy. And I think along those lines that he, when she says, did they say something? He could just be like, oh no, no, no, no, no, sorry.

That came out wrong. But he knows that America saw it because they filmed it. So he doesn't want to be viewed as a liar. He doesn't want to be, he doesn't want to get dinged for being a liar. So he's trying to kind of be slightly truthful so that way he can't be accused of being a liar. But he's trying to sort of like thread that needle where he can be just truthful enough that that America says he's not a liar, but not so truthful that he gets in trouble with Lindsay. But Lindsay is too sharp to just

sort of like let him do this little thing and then move on. She's like, wait, what was, what? What are you saying? That's my, that's my take on it. And so he's like, well, they do support us. They do support us. It's just like, I mean, you know, that's what I'm hoping for. And I reminded them that we're both gonna work through it, right? Cause like, I'm not trying to prove anyone wrong.

I just know that I love you and I'm still gonna do what I'm gonna do, which is to anyone with a brain communicating, my parents fucking hate you, right? And so she was like, so are they telling you we should break up? And he's like, no, no, no. She goes, yeah, but you keep saying

I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, so I'm confused. He's like, well, they just wanna make sure that we're ready to get married. You know, and oh, oh, oh. At this point, his feet are on the ottoman. Check, please, check, please. Can I get some more water? I don't want water, I do not want water.

Can I have some more water? Why am I talking like this? I have dirty white pads, did I tell you that? Are you doing lights? Damn it. Ugh. He has, his feet are up on the ottoman or the coffee table and they're doing windshield wipers back and forth,

left and right, and he's tucked his two, put his both hands together and tucked it between his thighs. So he's just shaking back and forth like, yeah, no, everything's fine. Aw, everything's fine, where I totally love you and we're totally gonna get married. Like, that's crazy. My parents are totally in support.

So then Lindsay's like, so like what's like that? Like timing wise, like when they say like, are we ready to get married? Like timing wise, what does that mean? Well, they just, they just wanna make sure we're in a good place. And like, you know, my parents, you know,

they hear that we've gone to two fights to start the summer and that like just makes them think like, Oh, they're having a tough time. Like, why are they rushing to get married? You know, like why are you marrying that overbearing wench? I mean, their words, not mine. Wait a minute rushing to get married. We're rushing to get married. He's like, well not rushing. Just like, you know, it's like the bus is leaving and we're chasing it. We're like, do we even need to be on that bus? You know, I think they're just like, they don't rushing, just like, you know. It's like the bus is leaving and we're chasing it.

And we're like, do we even need to be on that bus? You know, I think they're just like, they don't want us getting on the wrong bus. Wait, what? When he said, I just, he keeps on messing up. I feel like part of this is not intentional. I think that he's just still trying to fix what his mess ups and he keeps saying more and more words that she-

Here's the thing, here's why I can't get on and look who knows who's right or wrong. I think what you're saying makes sense. I just can't completely get on board with it because Carl purposely went to shoot with them to have that scene. He went to his parents' house to shoot this scene. What else are they going to talk about? I mean, it's his wedding season and he knows everything that he's told these people and he knows that Lou, this is not the first time Lou's been like, I'm going to tell it like it is. I'm a minister. You know, Lou never shuts the fuck up about telling you like it is and he's a minister. You know, Lou is like that 24 hours a day. I think that Carl knew exactly what he was

doing and he's just trying to get out of this by looking like a fucking victim because he just keeps poking. You see, he's doing it this whole scene. He could have, like you said earlier, he could have just been like, no, no, no, they weren't, they weren't talking bad about us and just move it along. But he has to keep making it okay. And then once it's okay, he has to keep poking again to get her riled up until she's right where he wants them. She won't do it. I think one thing we can definitely agree on is that like if we were in that,

and I think if most people were in a Situation like that they would say oh, yeah. Well, I Told my parents that we had two fights Which I really should not have done because like I don't know what I was thinking and then of course they got nervous And they're like should you get married and I was like no no no, so I just wanted you to know I shouldn't have said it They got a little paranoid. I reassured them. Everything is good now. Everything's good. So but it it's fine. Everything's fine. And you know, sorry I did that like that's like a nice easy way I kind of like to say yeah, I did it my bad, but him be like, oh, yeah. No, I mean they're like

He's trying to like make like he's like scared that Lindsey's not gonna like his mom anymore He's scared that his mom doesn't like Lindsey. He's trying to sort of like bring them together But like at the same time, he's not really saying what he really wants out of the situation. So it's sort of like coming through in these little ways. It's just such a clusterfuck of like all of Carl's, all of his shortcomings that it's hilarious to watch. Yeah, I think we can agree that no matter what Carl is doing here, he's doing it badly. He's doing it wrong. Whatever the motivation is, I like both of our theories.

It could be anything, but whatever it is, he's bailing at it and Lindsay is destroying him with her eyes. And Lindsay knows that he's full of shit and she's like, what choice does she have at this point? It's like either yell at the guy or just be like okay so he's so she's like okay well rushing to get married because not rushing but he starts falling all over himself again and she's like well it concerns me if they're saying that they're worried for you to get married to me and he goes no no no no no no

they're just worried we're not in a good place you know and? And she's like, okay. Um, and he goes, let me try this one more time. They're worried that if you and I aren't in a good place, then the wedding stuff would be a lot of pressure. If that were the case, then it would be, you know, if then, you know, there was a train going down a train track at 80 miles per hour and a terrible marriage was coming down the other train track at 90 miles an hour. Terrible marriage. It's a train Lindsay. It's not real. Um, the terrible marriage train train, Lindsay, it's not real. The terrible marriage train was named Lindsay and it crashed into the poor, innocent Carl train and demolished it and started it on fire.

Should the little Carl train have moved out of the way? Am I a terrorist train? Oh, it's not Lindsay. No, no, no, no. All I'm just trying to say is. Why are you yelling? It's just like a lot of pressure for that little Carl train to get a career.

Cause it's like hard. It just wants to be a little train that could not the little train that was like forced into like getting a job. Um, it was like, it has a lot that train does have passions. And I feel like you don't really recognize that even though it was in the station for a very long time, like it just needs to travel at its own pace. Train is literally the train wasn't even coming down the track. The train was just sitting there with the lights off. Okay. It's the little, the little, the little engine that might someday.

I don't know. Just like think about things. Okay. So, um, she was like, okay, well, I guess it's going to be a little awkward when I see your mom and he's like, okay, well, I guess it's going to be a little awkward when I see your mom. And he's like, Oh, I didn't purposely make it awkward so that you would start something with my mom so she could drop truth bombs on you. So I don't have to do it, but okay. We'll see how that goes. I'll be sure to show up and be an act like a fucking Prince to everybody I see. Exactly. No matter what the, no matter what the theory is, I'll be sure to show up and be an act like a fucking prince to everybody. I see exactly

No matter what the no matter what the theory is that is the closest to the truth One thing that we can never take away from Carl is that he has an uncanny ability to pit women against each other so Now we're at Lindsay's bridal shower and people Rachel from Winterhouse was doing the flowers She got like one second there and then then people are showing up, Sam from last season. Oh my God, Sam of Sam and Corey, iconic duo. She shows up, Danielle is there, and Sam of course is like, oh my God,

like I brought a bag, I'm gonna put it over there. There's like sex toys in it, like outrageous, right? You guys wanna see some photos of me and Corey together? Oh. I'm totally fine not being with Cory, but it's fine not being with me because he can't stop taking Instagrams with smiley faces, right?

Oh, it's so good to be here. So they're all kind of gathering. Everybody looks really- Wait, I have to say, I have to say, sorry to interrupt. Pretty. A big, so people can't finish that sentence is on their own. Like,

I was afraid trying to say, I thought you were going to zoom forward and I really needed to take a moment to acknowledge that I saw in this group of women that she did not get a chiron, but Jacqueline, the fit model from season one. And I was so thrilled. No way. Yes. Jacqueline the fit model. Yes. She was there. Jacqueline was there. I was like, wow, wow. This is, this is like Andy's baby shower. It's like the sad, the team move version of what they say is a 10 move version

baby shower Jacqueline from Summer House. And I looked her up and I like, I cross-checked and everything. Well, I mean, I like the face of the scene. Well, it's not that I don't believe you. I don't remember this person at all. I mean, I remember the term fit model, but I don't remember her.

Hold on, let me make it bigger. She was there. Oh my God, I see a picture of Carl. He's like, hey, I'm Carl. I used to have bigger eyebrows and I wore blue pants, which was crazy. I'm with the workaholics, with one of the workaholics, Ever, Kyle, and a fit model.

So she's real fit model everybody. She's real, Ben's not just making her up. Okay. Y'all, y'all, there's like a treasure trove of people from that first season that I would have loved to have seen. It's like nothing. Yeah. So Lindsay walks in looking great and she's like,

Oh my God. Oh my God. I never thought I'd be here. Oh my God. Randall shower. I'm a bride. I'm a bride. Her name is Jacqueline Schumann, but her Instagram name is Jack's human. She's human guys. It's confirmed. The fit model has to say guys, I may be one of the hottest fit models you've ever seen, but I'm human. I'm human.

There was some discussion, is she a cactus? But guess what? We've confirmed. Jacqueline is a human. Jack's human guys. Okay, where were we? Sorry, everybody. People just, but Lindsay walking in and saying, I'm a bride.

I'm a bride. And making us all cringe. We knew Lindsay was gonna do this and she is doing it. She's spending her bride all season just walking into everywhere going, I'm a bride now, this is like my turn. It's like my turn to be a bride. Yes.

And she tells us a really special moment with the strong women who've been in her life to celebrate the new chapter Yada, yada. So Sharon arrives Sharon does her little curtsy thing cuz that's like her that's her bit when she shows up to a room She does like a little fake curtsy and then she's like Sharon's so happy. She's just smiling and then Gabby and Sam are not fucking happy. What are you talking about? That was a little mean. I didn't mean it to sound that mean. I'm just like, what's Sharon happy about? She thinks her son's about to marry a terrorist.

She's not stuck in that psychedelic red candy cane red house. She's like, Oh my God, I got out of the house. She's like, thank God I got away from Louie. Can't stop telling it like it is because he's a minister. Jesus Christ. I get it. You want me to do the dishes after I eat breakfast in the morning. Some of us like till after lunch. Am I right? So they're, they're all eating Amanda's like potato chips and caviar. The best combination ever. I'm like, wow,

you're really even making this luxury sound sad and boring. I'm like, wow, you're really even making this luxury sound sad and boring. And then Sam, of course, Sam was also adding salt to future wounds. I said to Lindsay, you should get married every year so we can keep doing this stuff. It's like, there's nothing like eating caviar and potato chips while you're listening to someone talking about how it's finally their turn to be the bride. Am I right? It's like my favorite song of the year. It's like the gem of the summer. I'm the bride now. I'm the bride now.

So Lindsay says more. This is like last year on on a band of pump rules when Ariana kept on saying really cringe worthy stuff that was like nice about Sandoval. And now we have it Lindsay. So now she's talking to her stepmom, and she's like, can you believe that we're here? I remember telling you and Dad, I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me, and I just feel really good.

Carl and I have issues, but everybody has issues. Am I right? I'm a bride. So Lindsay is in such a Lindsay space today where she's mad at Sharon, but she knows she can't yell at this woman on TV. Normally Lindsay's way of just dealing with anything would be to scream at the person, berate them, and let them have it in front of everybody at the party, right? But she can't because it's Sharon. So instead, she just, Sharon's on

the other, she's got the two moms on either side. So she turns her back all the way to Sharon and she's like, all the way. Hi, mom. So here's what I say. Here's the deep things about my relationship which has problems, but it's fine, mom. And Sharon's like, hello, Lindsay. I'm right here. You're so far away from me. And she's like, oh, you can scoot closer. We're just having some mommy daughter talks. You can join mommy daughter talk if you want to. It was so tense. It was like, oh my god, Lindsay wants to kill her. This is amazing.

This was one of the scariest Lindsay scenes of all time, just because Lindsay had that smile on her face and her eyes were rageful. And she was like, if she could have strangled Sharon in that moment, she would have. And the way that Sharon sort of like flops her hand onto Lindsay's shoulder like, Lindsay, you're so far away. And he's like, oh, oh, you're gonna touch me now

after you talk to me. Well, I think Sharon knows exactly what Lindsay is thinking too. I mean, I think that Sharon seems to really, and I love how Sharon is dealing with it cause she's just giggling. Like she's got this little poke-headish little girl thing where she's like, Lindsay,

you're just so far away from me. I was like, oh my God, Sharon is like, I'm not scared of you, bitch. Yeah. Okay. Bring it on. If you've got something to say, bring it on. I will take you down.

You're messing with my boy. And Lindsay just gritting her teeth like, oh yeah, come join us. Here, here's my mother figure who doesn't criticize your son when I say we have issues. Oh. Oh. It's just, well, I don't know if I should get mixed up in mommy daughter stuff. I mean, that's important.

She goes, hmm, well, you can. Hmm. So Lindsay's like, I've known Sharon pretty much as long as I've known Carl. So I'm excited to have Sharon as a mother-in-law, but can't help feel like a tinge of awkwardness because she's a total bitch. I mean, I'll just say it.

Hmm. Commercials, here comes one right now. I love a good parasocial relationship with a celebrity who will probably never know my name. I mean, honestly, who knows? Don't count yourself out. But my favorite part about these feuds is how they're ignited by the tiniest things. Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane too. Can't wait to see you. I accidentally laminated my brows too much. It starts small and then it gets so big.

To be honest, Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day. I don't know her. We all just have to admit, we're addicted. Everybody has opinions. Everyone picks sides. Leave Britney Spears alone right now! From Wondery, I'm Sydney Battle. And I'm Matt Bellassai. And this is Dis and Tell.

Where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds and whether or not our attention only makes the whole thing worse. Follow Dis and Tell wherever you get your podcasts. So Carolyn has been mothering me since I was three and Sharon's like, well, you certainly are lucky, aren't you? And so Lindsay grabs both of their shoulders and she's like, me and my mom. Sharon's like, you know, when it's set out loud like that, it really sort of just hangs in the air.

sort of just hangs in the air. So now people are schmoozing and some, um, someone's like, so Sharon, you look so pretty. I love your dress, Sharon. Oh my God, your dress is so gorgeous, but you're going to wear it at the wedding. And she's like, talk to Lindsay. She has a whole palette. So I'm not really 100%. Um, I was hoping to wear, uh, something by that new designer, if probably not. So then Lindsay comes right on up and goes, isn't it great that Sharon came to this party?

Wow. Was it hard clearing the rocks out of your cave? Just to get out? Oh, Lindsay. Of course I came. I'm the mother of the groom. I have to come. You don't have to.

But I'm glad you did. I hope you brought your usual ziplocks in your purse so you could take some of this free food home. Oh, yes. I wanna bring Lou some food so I can see how bad food can be at such an expensive event. Really excited for him to see that. I can't wait to see Lou tell it like it is to a piece of gelatinous chicken.

Oh, look, here's a half eaten breadstick. That was me. That was me, Sam. I ate hot house. Um so she's like oh Lindsay I wouldn't have missed it. And she's like well it really means a lot to me and I talked to Carl earlier and he was telling me that you guys talked at the Jersey Shore and you kind of man them go through. And Charlie

goes yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. As any parent does when their son is slated to marry a real life witch. So, you know, it's natural. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, you mentioned that you have some concerns about us getting married. And you know, that broke my heart a little bit, Sharon,

because I was like, oh no. And then she was like, you know. Sorry, I started calling Sharon Janet, by the way. I apologize in the notes. So Sharon just hugged her. I was like, what? I was like, Janet's doing this? I started thinking about the valley.

I was like, what's Janet doing here? That was my fault. Ronnie and I are sharing notes. And I turned from Sharon to Janet. I don't know what happened. Apologies. But Sharon's basically, so Lindsay's like, yeah, I kinda like broke my heart a little bit

because I heard you had some doubts. And Sharon just hugs her to be like, there, there, stupid one. Stop talking. I'm just gonna show you, I'm just gonna pretend to love on you right now when it's just gonna stop you from saying anything to my face.

Right, because she's like, I don't think Sharon's afraid of her. I just think she's like, Carl's not gonna get me from saying anything to my face. Right, because she's like, I don't think Sharon's afraid of her, I just think she's like, Carl's not gonna get me to break up with this girl. Because let's face it, Sharon knows Carl. She can see what Carl's doing. I don't think she really expects to break up with Lindsay, but she's like, I'm not gonna have this out with Lindsay.

I'm like, what the fuck, Carl? Well, it's like, I just don't, you know, I said to Carl, it's like, I just like, don't want your parents to worry, you know, I just want them to live their happy life watching NCIS in a house with strange red carpets in the middle of some state that's not New York City. So that's all. Yeah, and so she doesn't say anything, right?

She's just like, look, I know that there was a fight in the early part of the summer. And so Lindsay's like, yeah, in the early part of the summer, but she's referring to the coke fight, right? Right. And Sharon's like all of a sudden, because Sharon's kind of getting called out right now. And, you know, I think that Sharon and Carl are not, they don't love confrontation. So Sharon starts flapping her hands everywhere. She's like, oh, well, you know, there was some sort of like fight that I had heard about at some point. You know, just, you know, a parent will get worried a little bit, you know, nothing, nothing too crazy.

Well, Lindsay knows because she knows how to communicate with Carl, therefore she knows how to communicate with that who made him. So she's like, okay, well, if you're referencing the beginning of the summer, you're talking about cokehead Carl fight or cocaine Carl fight. And so she knows what she's referring to you. So she's like, you know, look, I've never been in a relationship with anyone suffering or dealing with an addiction. And I try to do the best that I can to support it, but it's also new to me too, which is fair, right? And Janet's like, well, that's hard. And I get that it's hard, Lindsay. It's all hard. It's all hard, Lindsay, okay? But I am looking forward to having you in the family.

You know, we need someone to throw crackers at Christmas. So Lindsay's like, yeah. By the way, of course it's fair to have trouble being in a relationship with someone in an addiction and there is no rule book for it. Calling them cocaine Carl though is not really fair. Yeah, let's not have that in there. I know I came for Lindsay a lot, but I know we came for Lindsay. Let's not forget Lindsay's also insane.

That was terrible. Lindsay did. Like that. She was a hundred percent wrong in that situation. And apparently by the way, it happened before even shooting began because Carl had retreated to New Jersey around Memorial Day weekend. So Lindsay, it's like, yes, there is no rule book and it is really hard. But like one way of dealing with it is not accusing your fiance of being uncooked. So Lindsay is like, well, Sharon,

if there's any way I can reassure you, I can, I don't know, find some back issues of TV guide that you can gather and bring back to Lou to be kind of like fun. If I can do any sort of fun gesture like that to show I really care about you and Carl, I'll do it. And so she goes, what can I do? And so Janet's like, you just have to love that boy. And she's like, I do. And I love you too. So they hug. And so Janet's like, listen, if we have questions, it's because we want the best for you. Okay, so now they make up and Lindsay's like,

oh God, okay, good. Now I'm excited for you to be my mother-in-law. And she goes, well, hey, Lauren Workus thought I'd be a great mother-in-law. I'm like, oh God. You see, you believe in this chick and then look what she does. She knows what she's fucking doing.

This woman created Carl and don't you guys forget it. But also, but I allow it. I was like, yeah, yes. I'm like, yes, wait, it's a mom being passive aggressive and you know, I'm like, yes, Janet. I mean, Sharon is an icon. I, this is really my fault. I had us all calling us her Janet this past 10 minutes. Okay. So then, so she goes right I really like that. She's not afraid of lindsey at all And she's not gonna let lindsey get away with one little damn thing, you know, she's like, okay nice to make up

Don't forget about lauren workus. I really don't forget. You're basically as good as lauren workus right now And you see lauren on uh, wait lauren's her sister had the baby. Never mind Go ahead. They both have had babies at this point, I think. Oh really? Yeah. So Lindsay goes, wait, who? So then we have Kate, this girl Katie, who starts clinking for a toast,

and I'm pretty sure Katie was also from season one, I think she was a friend of, I think that when Lindsay got into, had like a falling out with Christina, that she started leaning on Katie, I think it was Lindsay got into had like a falling out with Christina that she started leaning on Katie. I think it was like Katie, Lindsay and Christina were like a trio. There was all sorts of fun dynamics that happened in season one. Season one of the show was amazing in my book. So Katie is back. I think we need some verification, but it's time for Lindsay to open

up gifts. So the first gift Lindsay sitting there and she opens up, she goes, Oh my God, sandwiches. But it's actually lingerie, lingerie in the shape of sandwiches, which you know, you got to love modern technology. She really made that sandwich thing a thing. I mean, that's, that's her thing now. So then comes the prince. Hey everybody. Thank God I was the one in my household to think to do the lights. Cause here I am in white pants to say, hello. It's me Prince charming everybody. More life, more life. Send it more life. I hated this. I hated this. First of all, I don't like it. Like if it's a, if there's like a bridal shower, I feel like when you do that,

you're making it about you in a certain way and you're like being, it's very like public facing. It's very presentational. Like look, just what exactly what you just said. It's like, look at me. I'm the Prince Charming. I'm the great husband. I'm the great guy. Look at me coming in being so sweet and cute and adorable little boy. I just, I think it should have been Lindsay's event and Carl just does his own thing. Well, I'm assuming that Lindsay made him come. It is Lindsay and Carly and Carl Carly, my sister, my sister's Carly. Sorry,

Carly. That's so good. Yeah, I, I'm assuming she knew it was gonna come. I mean, I don't know, but yeah, I just don't like it because obviously I think Carl's like a huge manipulator. So him showing up when he's sewing all this other stuff behind the scenes and then showing up to be like, hey everybody, it's me Prince Charming. It's just doing the whole like, God, I sure love Lindsay so much and I'm so proud of like, surely nothing can go wrong. It's just a little like,

Oh, I think it was for his mom. And I'm not even joking. I think this moment was to be like, Hey, Bob, look, I'm like a great, I'm a great, I'm a great kid. Look at me, look at me showing up. I'm handsome and I do the right thing. So Carl is, uh, he's like, you know, I know the road hasn't been easy and we've had ups and downs, but the takeaway I had from my parents in New Jersey is that this is the time to really figure out

this stuff and commit. And I wanna get married to someone. And I love Lindsay. I hope she finds a great husband someday. I know we can make this work. If I make it work, we can make her moving out of my life work. I know we can make this work. If I make it work, we can make her moving out of my life work.

So I'm so excited right now. I know we can make this work even if she can't make me work. Okay. So Lindsay's trying to clink her glass and it's just like. Cause she filled the entire glass. It's like are those plastic?

Is that a water bottle? It's literally like. P, p, p, p, p. She was like, are those plastic? Is that a water bottle? We. It was literally like, pp pp pp pp. She was like, oh, whatever. Okay, I give up. I was like, this is a metaphor. Not getting a beautiful sound out of the clink and just giving up. The glass won't even be a part of this.

So Lindsay is like, I'm gonna give a speech. I like girls and girls are girls and speeches are love and love is people and I'm getting married and it's my turn. Yay. And everyone's like, oh my God, Lindsay. And Carlson's like, wow, wow, babe, that was amazing. Did everybody hear that?

That was my wife up there. That was amazing, babe. Great speech, more life. So now it's time to go back to the Hamptons. And so I was actually like sad. I was like, I'm loving this New York thing that we're doing right now. This situation's great.

But we'll go back to the Hamptons. People are driving together, Paige and Sierra are driving, talking about the bridal shower. And Paige tells us that Lindsay did invite her to the bridal shower. And it was like a really big olive branch. That page does not tick lightly. And she's like, I feel like a really big shift

in Lindsay's attitude and demeanor towards everyone. It's like, dare I say she's being very nice? It's weird. I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. And I think that Lindsay is being nice, especially to Paige, which is odd. But I think that Lindsay has been humbled in a way and

actually respects Paige now because she is trying to be what Paige is, right? She was like trying to do the influencer thing. It's like, so I think she like looks at Paige like as a leader in the industry now. She's going to give her some respect. Yeah. But Paige is like, look, Ms. Manners, I'm not going to go to this bridal shower if I'm not invited to the wedding.

So hello. Meanwhile, Jesse and Wes are driving together and you know, Wes is talking about how he was doing some more stuff for that complex job. He was, he was interviewing for, and then Jesse is also talking about how he has his five year checkup for cancer coming up this Tuesday. And so he's like really trying not to focus on it. And you know, the joke about getting like

how he's not gonna get a boner because it's like seven year old doctors can be fiddling around with us nuts during it, you know, just like guy talk. And Sierra's like, I haven't seen Wes and I miss him. It's crazy. Are these two crazy kids in love? I'm getting the impression in this episode that Sierra

likes West's personality, but she's got the chemistry with Jesse. No. Did you get that? When she was kind of mean to Jesse later for no reason, I was like, I think she likes him. Maybe she's sexually attracted to Jesse, but she likes West's personality. And so she's like, yeah, it could be. So, um, West, West and Jess, you're not talking. He's like, Hey, West, what's the thing? Hey, as summer ends, like, do you think you want to go into cozy season with a shorty? Jesse's like, ah,

I've been single for so long. Like I don't even pay attention to season anymore. And he's like yeah I mean but what if the right person comes along you think you're just gonna stop fucking every girl and just like a drop of the hat and he's like yeah absolutely absolutely we'll do that to which we all know no he won't and Wes is like yeah but I'm like afraid of that like not having sex like that's gonna be crazy he's like but haven't you already stopped that? Like haven't you already stopped having sex bro? And he's like uh... Meanwhile at the house, Gabby and Danielle arrive. Danielle's like Dick Dong, Dick Dong we're here.

Gabby's arranging a dinner tonight and she's gonna have an astrologer come later to do some readings so they're excited for that. And then Carl's like, Hey, Joseph Sullivan. What's up, my man? Look, I'm still a bro. Here's a rose, by the way. So I'm giving up roses today. And Paige is like, Oh my God, if you guys ever go out together, people will be like, are you guys twins? You're so tall that people can't even see that your faces are different. They're just clouds in front of them, because you're so tall. Just like there's cloud one and cloud two.

I hope Mario can jump on them to get all those extra coins up above. Ow, your face just threw a spiky ball at me. Oh my God, that cloud is fishing. It's getting weird. Oh my God, the Carl cloud totally pulled It's getting weird. Oh my God. The Carl cloud totally pulled my car off the side of the road.

Thanks. The Carl cloud just told me that it doesn't have any lights, but it's white. So I can imagine Lindsay trying to wash a cloud. Um, this cloud, I'm gonna wash it real quickly. I can imagine Lindsay trying to wash a cloud. Um, this cloud, I'm gonna wash it real quickly. So Lindsay is talking to Gabby about the astrology radar and even West is open to it guys. And so Lindsay is like, so Lindsay just turns to us, they're all sitting outside talking and she turns to West and she's like, so are you exclusive with Sierra?

And he's like, uh, no, I mean, that's just a weird pigeonhole. Like we're not having sex, but we're exclusive. Okay. So are you texting girls? I don't think that's a weird pigeonhole. I don't want to fuck, like what, what part of me, I don't, I don't think that somebody's saying I don't want to fuck you. I don't want to, I don't want to fuck you while you're fucking a million people.

I think that would be normal. A normal thing to say, you know, I maybe not normal, but I also think it's like, um, he's like, I don't want to be exclusive. Like I'm being exclusive and, but then I'm like shutting everything out, but I can't be intimate with this woman. It's weird. So I get it. Like I think you're right too. Like I think it's fine to say two Tuesday dates. So I don't know. I don't know. I just think that sometimes guys have this thing of like, why would I stop fucking other people? I haven't even fucked her yet.

How would I know if I'm going to be exclusive? Where I think if you've talked to someone like Sierra who's just told you she's been fucked over by dudes and she's not giving it up right away because she's learned her lesson with that, that your response is like, oh, okay, well, I'm just gonna keep fucking other people. So let me know when it's fucking time.

It's weird. I would think if you wanna attract somebody like that, you'd be like, I'm not having sex with you. I'm with anybody else. Maybe it'll work out with you. Maybe it won't, but I don't need to fuck half the city while I wait to find out because you're more than just like a fucking fuck toy.

Yeah, I think it's probably a semantic thing because I feel like with exclusive, it's like exclusive is basically a way of people saying we're boyfriend, girlfriend without saying we're boyfriend, girlfriend. And so it's like, he's like, I don't know if I want to be like, have a full like we're in a relationship when there's this whole like, like there's a whole side that I want to explore first or whatever. I mean, I agree with what you're saying. Like, I think, well, I think I should have waited until after the next line because this is where,

this is where that opinion really comes from. So go on. Sorry. But I agree that like, it's like we're, we've been dating for a while and we've been dating for a while and now we've been, we've been dating and we decided like we should really be boyfriend girlfriend. But like, there's clearly this like thing of from her more like, I don't wanna get burned by you, so I'm gonna take my time. And then like, I feel like it's, I wouldn't,

I think it's reasonable to be like, I don't know if I would. Right, but where I was coming from was after this next line. So let's just go to the next line, so it makes more sense. Danielle shakes her head. Are you texting other girls? Are you texting other girls? Are you texting other girls?

Is the door to open to other girls still? And he's like, well, I would say the door is open to other girls, but I haven't shot down every chick. So that's the thing. I think exclusive maybe is too far, but I don't think it's too crazy for someone to be like, oh, wow, by the way, none of this happens. This is all hypothetical.

But I don't think it would be crazy for someone to be like, oh, this guy likes way, none of this happens. This is all hypothetical. But I don't think it would be crazy for someone to be like, oh, this guy likes me and is flirting with me every week and obviously, and says openly that he wants something with me. So maybe he's not gonna fuck every girl he sees in a bar. You know? Yeah, I mean, look, it's not a turn on to be like,

oh yeah, you seem cool. Oh, you're talking to other girls, great. Like, I totally understand what Sierra, um, what Sierra is doing. And I think that like, she's totally entitled to go at whatever pace she wants to go. Um, and I think that like, um, I think that like, yeah, like why would you want to sleep with someone, especially after you've dealt with Austin who's like sleeping with other people

too. Uh, when you just want to know that someone cares about you and is not gonna hurt you. But I think that's just in terms of elevating it to boyfriend, girlfriend. Literally, I don't even know. I actually don't even care. And also, West has the right to date. He's not in a relationship.

So he has a right to sleep with whoever he wants. I'm just saying, if you really want something with someone like Ciara, the best way to go about it is probably not being like, yeah, still being in other people because she hasn't had sex with me yet. It's like, hmm. She might be picking up on that vibe too

because the truth is, I think that when you really like someone you kind of don't wanna even talk to other people because you kind of don't wanna jinx it. That was my experience. So either way, I really like these two together, but I don't care too much about this situation. I don't trust him. I'm sticking with it. I didn't trust him in the beginning. I don't trust him now.

I think he's nice and cute and everything, but yeah. Well, either way, Danielle is shaking her head, which means that she's going to metal with this very soon. And Lindsay is staring with judgment, which means that she's also got metal. So he doesn't realize that it's giving way too much information to people in this house. Uh, then we cut to Amanda trying to open that front door, which seems to only open on merit based situations. So Amanda is not allowed in, uh, into that door and cause like, uh,

first time opening the door. And then they walk in and they're upset. Amanda's like, no one's even here. They're just like, no one's even here. They're just like all hanging out. She's like shocked that people are not waiting in the foyer for her. Amanda life of the party to show up. Oh my God, you'll wait for her but not for me. So Gabby is talking about the astrologer and the dinner

and Amanda's like, well, what if the astrologer tells me that me and Kyle were not compatible? Well, America said it and you had no problem marrying his ass anyway. So I don't see what one more person is going to start. Even Sierra says, we tried to tell you, bitch. So, you know, Jess is asking about the bridal shower and Lindsay's talking about and says Sharon was there and says, in three short months, I'm gonna have a mother-in-law. And then it cuts to Carl just smiling like, oh no, oh no, oh no. So then, oh, Wes gets a text and he got the job.

So he gets excited and jumps in the pool and now he is officially a writer for Complex. So now it's time to get ready for dinner and Sierra and Wes are cuddling and Amanda and Paige are gossiping in the bathroom and Amanda's like, I was talking to Sierra about Wes and she definitely likes Sierra. And Lindsay comes in, she's like,

do you have any powder? Sorry, I'm not calling anyone a coke head. I just meant facial powder. I learned my lesson. Or a DVD copy of the feature film, Powder. So she's like, Linda's like, you know what? It's funny, because Wes was just saying outside before you guys got here,

that he's like texting with other girls and he mentioned keeping the door open, so yeah. And they're like, oh my God, Wes. Yeah. So she's like, oh my God, West. Yeah. So she's like, well, I mean, it makes sense. He's not shooting down convos, but he's not making moves, right? And Lindsay's like, well, I didn't ask that.

I was just like, are you talking to anybody else? And Paige is like, well, what guy is going all summer without having sex? Like, let's be honest, you know? And Amanda says West, which no, the point is, is that he's not. Right. So Amanda's saying that like CR has been traumatized by past quote unquote

vacation flings, AKA Austin, uh, and probably Luke. So meanwhile, they cut to Carl, Carl and Kyle are in a room and Carl is trying to swat a fly with a pillow, which I think probably sums up maybe why Carl is not getting a job, because it's about using the right tool for the right situation, and pillow versus fly, it's not gonna work out.

Yeah. So then back to the girls, and she's like, okay, so Carl went to the Jersey Shore, and his mom and Lou had concerns about us getting married. And so I talked to the mom at the bridal shower and she was like, what did you say? Did you give her an invisible picnic? I really want to try that. Well, I just said, I heard that you had some concerns about us getting married. And she was just like, I'm just more concerned that you guys got into these fights.

And I don't know how she knew about these fights unless my future husband went and squawked to his mom, which I'm totally fine with. But she said you're getting married in a couple of months. So we just were a little nervous. So it's totally fine. It's totally great. I'm totally happy with it. So she says basically it felt like rejection and that she doesn't speak to her biological mom

and yes she has this stepmom who's like her mother and she has her Aunt Rhonda who we haven't heard much about and she's like, but this is supposed to be me gaining an extra mom and her basically rejecting me before I'm even in the family. I get that, you know, this was, it did not feel like it was bullshit. Like I totally got it. And she was like crying and Amanda and Pager like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, she's crying. This is amazing. So they just talk.

So, you know, Pages saying, you know, sometimes moms with their sons, they just feel like they're losing their son. So like, don't worry, she's lucky to have you. They just, they rally around her and they support her. Cut to Carl trying to hit the fly with the pillow still. I know it's like, this is what you're crying over. Yeah. So, Carl's like, yeah, we're all in the home stretch here with the way.

And he's like, yeah, the bridal shower is like so beautiful. It was almost surreal being there. It was like a fairy tale. I occurred in a glass shoe just to be like, are you my princess? Are you my princess? Are you my princess? Cause I'm a prince.

I'm literally a prince right now. I was like overwhelmed. I mean, what else is new? And I like walked in and my heart was like racing. And then like, my heart was overwhelmed. And then like, it was just like a small practice for what the wedding will be. And oh, sorry, I just got overwhelmed. Oh. And then like my heart was overwhelmed and then like it was just like a small practice for what the wedding will be and oh

Sorry, just got overwhelmed. Oh The only difference is that I showed up for it. So And my mom was there which was great She's like the prettiest lady in the room and like I don't think I've like really share this with you But my mom has been pretty through like he she's been like through the ups and downs of this and we've had our moments and cause like what what was it like for your mom and Carl is about to just say he's about to go in you feel it and then in walks Amanda looking for shoes and now does she look she's in there forever and then she just sits down while they're having like this heart to heart. It's like, Amanda, get out of there.

I know. And they've been saying, Carl's like, well, I guess she's joining. And she's like, yeah. So it's like, Lindsay was just talking to me downstairs about the conversation that you and your mom had like, fuck off, Amanda. Geez. This is bro talk. Bro's about to gossip. No kidding. Not only is he about to gossip, but stop pretending like you're gonna be nice to Lindsay and then just fucking her over every single time.

Like it didn't even take you longer than two minutes to fuck her over, bro. Yeah, so everyone's outside, meanwhile, like eating dinner and waiting for these three. So Amanda's like, well, she felt like she's being rejected. And Carl's like, no, not all. It was more like, Carl, we just want you to know that this is what you're seeing. Your fiance is terrible. You shouldn't marry her. You got to get away from her, do whatever you can to get out of this relationship. And like, you know, like, but there's also certain things I'm just not going to share with Lindsay because like that's like my

mom, you know? So it's like, no, they weren't saying that, but also there were like, worse things that they said. It's just such a Carl answer. And she's like, well, when you don't tell Lindsay everything, it's to protect her feelings? She's like, yeah, of course. And she goes, okay, so what are the other things she said? Because of course he's hinting that there's more. And so he's like, I mean, listen,, like it's okay to have concerns, right?

Like if anyone has more concerns, it's my stuff father. And Carl is, you know, you've said this all season, but like Carl is keenly aware of the cameras. He knows he's, he's bright enough to know, even though he doesn't have lights, he's bright enough to know that there's like the cameras are recording this and that like this will get back to whoever he's talking about. He even acknowledges that later in the scene. And yet he still goes forward saying

all this stuff. Carl. So he's like, well, you know, like Lou's an ordained minister. Okay. So that means whatever he says, like really holds weight. Like he's married people for 35 years and he's officiated weddings for lots of couples and as it stands, if he was doing our counseling, he wouldn't marry us, he wouldn't marry us. Based on things I've told him. Okay, that was in like little tiny letters

with a double cross there. I was gonna put an asterisk, but I used the double cross because you know, minister. So more life, more life Jesus. But I also can understand, like thank you for that, but like you're not here on the front lines. Yes, did I just compare being in a relationship with Lindsay

as like being in war? Perhaps. But I'm going back to my relationship that I see every day that may give me PTSD and I see the work that Lindsay puts in and I see the commitment we have in the sessions we're having a couple of therapy and we're making progress. We're making progress every day. Like it's just like abandoned stuff. I just like didn't fully like get it until we got in that room. So this was all bullshit. This is him presenting. Like he's being considerate.

Like he's, he's like, I'm going to bring this stuff up on camera. I'm going to make, I'm going to tell it to these people knowing that it's going to potentially, I'm going to tell it to these people, knowing that it's going to potentially, it's going to inflame a situation between my fiance and my parents. And then I'm going to give some public praise to Lindsay, even though I'm also undermining her at the same time. Yeah. Well, what is he saying?

The abandonment stuff I did not understand fully until we got in that room. What does he mean? He meantment stuff. I did not understand fully until we got in that room. What does he mean? He meant like until they got into therapy, but I'm like, how did you not get that? Have you not seen the show? Cause it's pretty, she's pretty made up.

She's talked about it for eight years on this show. It's like pretty clear cut. So he's like, yeah, even as her friend for the last seven years, I didn't really understand it. And I acknowledge that it's very deep and hard, but I didn't get it. And she says, well, how did that make you feel? And he's like, fucking horrible.

And she's like, well, did you tell her what Lou said? And he goes, no. And she's like, but isn't she gonna see this? And he just, he goes, yeah, the other caveat is this. And they point to the cameras and then the cameras film each other. Like, yeah. Hey, what's up?

Hey, hey, where are you? Does this mean we get to have that dinner too? So he's acknowledging that like, ooh, these were conversations on cameras, he can get back to people, and yet he continues to have them, which is what's so interesting. So, Amanda's like-

We'll like get to reality TV and I get it, it's just, I don't know, I don't wanna say it again. Go ahead. No, it's just that like, he, yeah I don't wanna say it again, go ahead. No, it's just that like he, yeah, I just, I think it's like he's on camera. It's like the same thing over and over. And I'm just like, I mean, I've said my piece, I don't need to say it 20 times an hour,

you know what I mean? Even though I'm like, I'll say it in 19 though. I think that he's very concerned about the public's opinion. And so he's putting stuff out there. Of course, yeah, that's the whole season is him wanting it out. He's like building a, he's building a road to get out this entire season and it's working, you know, for the most part, I think it's been working pretty well for him.

I just think it's gross and I think it's sad, you know, and I don't think the stuff that he has against Lindsay is necessarily even wrong. They're just not right together. It's just the way he's going about it is really gross and it is, you know, at the beginning of the season, we're like, how like, how the fuck are you blindsided by this? This is a train wreck. But I see how she's blindsided now very easily, you know? Because he's letting her believe one thing

while showing another thing on camera to vindicate himself. And then he comes in and he peppers some faux compliments all over the place, like, I know Lindsay's working on it and this is as much my fault as it is Lindsay because I'm an abuse victim. He kind of like massages these, he relays conversations back and forth with people, working on it and this is much as much my fault as the resiliency because I'm an abuse victim. He kind of like massages these, he relays conversations back and forth with people massages the tone a little bit

gives people just enough to be like, huh, what it's. So now he's like, Amanda's like, look, I probably would not have told my parents that college she'd on me. Uh, except it was, I knew they were going to see it because on the TV show. So I just was like, I'd rather come from me than right before it aired, which is sort of her way of also saying like, I want my parents, I like my, I like Kyle. I want my parents to like Kyle. And I know that they're my parents. They would never get over something like this. So I probably would not have said something that's kind of like, you just,

you just went and like offered this up on a silver platter out of nowhere. So she's like, so I went and I got ahead of the story, essentially, and he's like, oh, oh, okay. And he's like, yeah, it's just like, it's not natural because of this. I would go have this conversation with my parents, and I'd go back to Lindsay, and I'd be like, I love you, and let's get fucking married,

and I can't wait, oh. I'm like, Carl, you didn't have to do that whole scene with your parents on camera, that's the other thing. Or Like I can't wait. Oh my Carl. You didn't have to do that whole scene with your parents on camera. That's the other thing. Or, or I don't know. Yeah. Like you can't tell me you didn't know the camera crew was there that you took all the way to the Jersey shore for this. Come on. And so she's like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And then so you can save it all. I was like,

but at the end of the day, um, Leslie's going to find out it's better coming from you than later down the road. And he's like, well, I just don't wanna hurt her. I care about her, because I love her. She's gonna be like, and this is so hurtful. It's not intended to be hurtful. I'm gonna go hurt her again right now on camera.

It's gonna be amazing. You guys in? You guys in? Make me forget you're there. Just kidding. Be like two feet away from my face. It's gonna be hilarious. I just have like,

we just have like so much shit on our plates right now. Like there's wedding budgets that she takes care of. Like, you know, I don't have a career yet. Like, I don't, like, I don't know where we're gonna live cause Lindsay suddenly announced that she'd suddenly like wants to like be like a mom. Like where'd that come from?

Like she wants to have a family. And I just feel like it's like a massive amount of anxiety on me. And like, I had the thought like that. My parents have questions about her. It's just like really hard. it's like a massive amount of anxiety on me and like I'm the thought like that my parents have questions about her it's just like really hard there's like a lot on my shoulders like having to think about the stuff that other people have to do. So now they're the others are down at dinner and Jesse's talking about how he had a great

day but you know guys you just can't force chemistry am I right? And they're asking Daniel's like do you date for your, are you looking for someone or are you just trying to like have sex with randos? And he's like, no, no, no, I date to find someone like when there's a chance like I could spend 60 plus years with them. And so she's like, so you're doing that when it's like during the week but then on the weekends

you're just like sleeping around. He's like, well no, I mean on the weekends you're just like sleeping around. He's like, well, no, I mean, on the weekends, you're just finding leads, you know what I'm saying? And Sierra's like, you're kind of a trash bag and I would never introduce you to any of my girlfriends. And then he's like sad. He's like, that's rude, that's rude. He's like, Sierra's my friend.

So to be like, I would never introduce you to any of my friends because you're a trash bag. I think that would like hurt anyone's feelings. Are you to any of my friends because you're a trash bag. I think that would like hurt anyone's feelings. Are you serious? It's not like I have a girlfriend. I'm like still going out and flirting. I'm like as single as you could be.

I'm like, okay, get over it. Like you clearly are like you are breaking women's hearts left and right. We all know it. And she's like, I mean, it's fine. You're just out to fuck. And he's like, no. And she's like, yeah, it's annoying. He goes, yeah, well, I'm annoyed too. And he tells us, I mean, it's fine. You're just out to fuck. And he's like, nah. And she's like, yeah, it's annoying. He goes, yeah, well, I'm annoyed too.

And he tells us, I mean, she's my friend. So hearing I'm a trash bag and she wouldn't introduce her friends to me, yeah. Who wouldn't have their feelings hurt? Oh, I mean. Pregnant. Wait, just like, Jesse, don't worry. I'm obsessed with you.

I literally like you more than my boyfriend. So you can enjoy that. So Carl is like, huh, sorry, sorry I'm late. Here's a big smile to show how happy I am. I'm so happy right now. Ha. And Lindsay's been having a great dinner.

She's getting along with everybody. She's not bitching about Carl. Everything's going great. So Carl, here comes Carl, okay? So she's like, oh, you guys were in there for a while. And he goes, yep. And she goes, is it Loverboy stuff you were talking about? And he's like, oh, we should probably chat at some point.

Because the conversation my mom and stepdad had, I want to make sure we're on the same page about it. Well, we talked about this this week. He's like, yeah, I just, just want to revisit it. That's all, just like revisit, you know? Okay. But like, I don't understand, babe. And now I'm going to be on edge this entire dinner. Yeah. I'm just like, I'm just like emotional right now.

I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry. I'm overwhelmed. Fucking guy. So she's basically like, all right, let's just talk now. I'm not going to be able to enjoy this meal. So she's basically like, all right, let's just talk now. I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this meal. So she goes. Yeah, he just comes to drop drama and start a fucking fight in front of everybody.

It's fucking Carl, he's making me crazy. My head is gonna pop off watching the show before the season ends. He is making me fucking crazy. So they leave. And so Amanda's like, well, I get why he hasn't told Lindsay. I don't regret his. I feel bad for the position he's in.

Amanda, just, I don't need you right now pissing me off even more, okay? So Lindsay and Carl go into the living room and Carl's like, oh, when I went to New Jersey to talk to my mom and my stepdad, they've been concerned about the fact that we've been fighting. They just wanna make sure we're good, okay?

I know, babe. Like we talked about this and I fighting and they just want to make sure we're good. Okay? I know babe. Like we talked about this and I'm confused what just happened where now you're like upset. You're like very angry and upset right now. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I am not angry. I'm not angry. It's a classic dynamic between the two of them that she calls him angry.

She's like, now you're angry. He's like, I'm not. He's like, I'm sorry. I actually acted like I was angry. He's like, I'm not angry. I'm like, babe, I'm not angry. So now he's angry. He's saying he's not angry, but he wasn't really angry at the start, but now he's that he just charged at the table and dropped a bunch of drama. I was like, Oh, okay. You weren't, you weren't angry, Carl.

Then what do you want to call it? You just came with a bag full of bullshit emotion and dropped them in public at the table again. So what would you like to call it, Carl? You just have an insane thirst for attention right now in the middle of dinner? Okay, then call it that. Whatever you need to call it. Okay?

I just, I don't want to have secrets from you. I want the conversation in New Jersey with my parents, plays on TV, just so you're not blinded or caught off guard. I just like wanna make sure like you know what Lou told me which was hashtag more life because he was wearing the shirt and then he also said like, as it stands right now, if we were his couple that he was working with, Lou, your future father-in-law,

who you're gonna spend a lot of time with at various family events said, I would not marry you. His words, not mine. His words, Lou. So he's like, you know, I want you to know what was said in Jersey, but they do both love you. And she's like, okay, but the initial conversation about this wasn't very in depth. And he's like, okay, so I should have told you. And she's like, okay, so maybe we should have more detailed communication then. And like, that's a pretty big significant thing that he wouldn't marry us, right?

And he's like, well, I mean, he's hearing from one person, you know, not you whatsoever. And she's like, yeah, but we've had this conversation before and this is why I try not to involve my parents in the details of our fights, Carl, because parents are gonna take sides. And he's like, oh, well, the details of our fights, I sure. Like I share some things, but like, I don't want you to think that I go down there and say, she's

the worst. I mean, I don't say derogatory words. I just say, oh, she hit me. Oh, do I have a bruise? I just ask questions. Am I bruising? Is my outside bruised like my inside is? I just talk honestly, which in my case means that I insinuate things, but I say like,

no, no, no, she's a great girl. It's I mean, Lindsay's reaction is like actually pretty chill because I think that he's bracing for her to be like, I can't believe you would say that. Do you not want to get married to me? But she's more like, why didn't you just tell me this in the first place? You know, like that's the issue. Like you tell me a part a partial story. And then later on, I feel the, here the full story. It's just like, you have to just tell me what,

just like it's just don't do this. I love it. That's why I'm, that's why I love her right now in this season because she's just not letting him do what he's trying to do. Like he tried to get a reaction before, and I know we don't agree on this. I'm not having, having this like, it's to like argue or whatever, I'm just saying like on one side of the argument, he's trying to get a reaction out of her, he's not getting it, so then he goes to other people in the house, he goes to her enemies in the house, let's face it, Kyle and Amanda, and starts

telling them stuff on camera, okay, before he tells her. And then she's in a really good mood. So then he goes and he drops it at the table in front of everybody. And then he's doing this and in a minute he's going to start the good old warriors up. Like he's going to do that thing back to her. So it's like he's trying to get it and she's just not giving it to him. And I'm really impressed because I would give it to him at this point and I can stay pretty calm in an argument, but I would give it to him and she's not, she's like, okay, but so why can't we just communicate better like you could have just told me

all of this before, Carl. Yeah, and so meanwhile outside they're like, what's going on, what's going on, what's going on? And Gabby's like, I don't think they're fighting, like Lindsay's not doing her fighting hands, she's doing her, I'm trying to explain this to you in a calm way, but I'm assertive hands. I'm sure Lindsay would like her hands being like,

what, oh, oh. Well, I just want to make sure we're on the same page because when Amanda said you were emotional, I just wanted to revisit and make sure I cleared the air about my New Jersey visit and also get Amanda thrown under the bus so maybe you can yell at her if you want to yell at me. Like, please yell at somebody on camera, please.

Yeah, so like if you weren't getting frustrated that we're fighting when it was supposed to be a good night, feel free to yell at Amanda now. So Carl's like, my mom and my stepdad fucking love you. Like my mom came to the bridal shower because she wants to be there for you and me, mainly me. She said something about like she wants, it was like the equivalent of doom scrolling, but

like in person, I don't know what that really meant. But anyway, she only had the kind of things to say about you. And she's like, Yeah, I understand. I'm not questioning that. You know, I wasn't having a conversation where I was saying like, Sharon hates me. And he's like, well, Amanda didn't say that. But you know, that's me because that's where I go crazy. And like when I struggle, she goes, Well, I mean, it just came across as pretty intense. And he's like, well, I'm overwhelmed. Okay, because that's where I go crazy. And I'm like, when I struggle and she goes, well, I mean, it just came across as pretty intense.

And he's like, well, I'm overwhelmed, okay? Because there's like so much going on. Like we still have to like figure a lot out. Like I got a career figure out. There's like wedding, there's Lucette's, there's just like a lot. She goes, okay, and it's too much for you for me to have an emotion right now.

And he's like, no, I just wish I told you sooner. Huh? I loved when she said that. And he's like, no, I just wish I told you sooner. I loved when she said that. And he's like, I'm just overwhelmed. I just wish I told you sooner. Cause like, I just like, I don't want you to spiral and like, I didn't want to trigger you. And she goes, but I didn't spiral.

He's like, oh, like I'm not saying you did. I'm just saying, why are you spiraling? It's a tough conversation. What more do you need? Like it's hard. Did you not hear the part that my mother hates you? Oh my God. Just like a tough conversation. That's hard.

I got nervous and I struggled with it. Why are you spiraling? And she's like, but why is this a tough conversation? I just, I'm feeling overwhelmed by it. I have to have my career in order because you told me to. And this is kind of like your fault because if you didn't tell me to do that, I wouldn't be overwhelmed.

And I might not have gone to my parents. So I'm just trying to say, stop spiraling and make me do these things. It's like a lot, Lindsay. I'm a little overwhelmed. And I might not have liked onto my parents. I'm just trying to say like, like stop spiraling and like make me do these things. It's like a lot Lindsay. I'm like a little overwhelmed. That's all. Well, Lindsay, if you didn't see before why the parents are saying

you shouldn't get married, you should see it right now because this is what they're seeing. And this is not someone who's gonna be ready to get married to you. Okay. I'm sorry if some of your brand deals go down over this, but girl, this is not this man that does not like you. I'm not even saying love you. Maybe he does love you on some level. He does not like you. Okay. And the fact that he went to talk to Amanda

and Kyle of all people about his mother's issues with you before you is like, I just this is why we got to stop selling the fairy tale of, of weddings, by the way, all this, all the language around, Oh, he looks like Prince charming. Oh my God. It's a fairytale wedding. Cause this is what happens because people want the fairytale and he have Lindsay. All the signs are there. This is not a match for you. He doesn't have a job. You want an ambitious alpha guy. Carl is not that. There's nothing wrong with him not being alpha. That's totally fine. But he's just

not that. And that's what you want. Please. And now he's about to humiliate you. Well, it's also something about the entire wedding industry. Like you have to plan this for a year or two. You have to have all these parties. You have to have all these events, all these things over this fucking thing, which I guess at one time was like some forever thing, but for now it's a few years of your life that we all have to go out and buy you KitchenAid appliances for. And it's just bullshit. If you want to get married, go to fucking City Hall and have a dinner with people. But the fact that you have to like have hundreds of thousands of dollars and you have to plan all of this stuff, it makes so much pressure for people and it makes people not quit when they

should quit because they've already invested all of this money. The sunken cost fallacy like becomes literal where you've invested so much money into this that you're like, I can't just like not have these parties. I already paid the deposit, so we'll get divorced later, but I'm having this fucking dinner. I already, I already ordered the fish for everybody. Yeah, it's a full disaster. And listen, I do believe in true love.

And I think that there are marriages where you're like, I think this is going to last forever. I just don't think that exists whatsoever in the world of reality TV. And you're both reality stars trying to get married. I don't think we've ever seen a successful reality star marriage that has lasted the test of time. And people can pull up examples and I'll say, there's still a divorce in the future. So give them time. Give them time. I don't know. Juliana and Bill Rancic. I'm coming for you. So anyway, everyone.

Wow. I love, this is a great episode. I loved it. Thank you everyone so much for being here. We'll see hopefully a bunch of you tonight in Hollywood and we'll be back on Monday with a whole new week of shows. Thanks so much everyone and we'll catch you next time. Bye bye. Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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