Watch What Crappens - #2416 Below Deck and Summer House MV: Of Gays and 5Ks

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

On Below Deck (S11E14) a sprig of parsley is enough to cause a domino effect of drama.  Plus, Fraser locks lips with a guest!  Meanwhile, on Summer House Martha’s Vineyard, an inflatable flamingo may end Simon and Bria.Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap-Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

Hello. Hello. You excited to talk some blow deck today? Heck yeah, baby. You excited to talk some summer house? Summer house Martha's Vineyard after one's I'm here for. It's a two for one special, although it's really going to be mainly a one special with like a little extra side, a side of summer house Martha's Vineyard. You know, summer house Martha's Vineyard, not a lot happened. There was actually stuff happened. It happens on summer house. What do you think is going to happen? It's Vineyard. You know, it wasn't Summer House Martha's Vineyard. Not a lot happened. There was actually stuff happened.

It happens on Summer House. What do you think is going to happen? It's Summer House and things aren't supposed to happen on it. It wasn't the most provocative episode. You know, the climax with the flamingo. So anyway, real quick reminder, go to our website, watchwhathappens.com in order to get tickets for our upcoming London. I know London sold out. I'm sorry. Okay. But for our Dublin and Birmingham shows that are going to be happening at the end of this month, we're really excited for that. You can also go to the website to the find links for Patreon in case you can't remember patreon.com slash watch or crap and to get access to our weekly bonus episode. Or if you sign up on crap is on demand, you can

watch us right now instead of just listening. There's a Discord community, so lots of fun stuff there. So anything you could want from Crap is there on that website. And today we are back over in Grenada for some below deck activity. You texted me because you watched this before me and you were like, I was like, Oh, how was the episode? You're like, it was good, just more Frasier. Frasier undermining the chef. And I was like, oh, Ronnie. And then I watched it and I was like,

I think Ronnie's onto something. I mean, he is, it's just his personality. He's just a little underminer. It's actually pretty funny how he does, like he just can't help himself. And I love that he gets himself so worked up and he's like, surely now is the time I get to get somebody fired

on national television. I've been working for this for years. And he's like, Captain, here's what I say, and this is going to happen. You're all going to fire this person. The captain's like, nah, we stopped taking things so personal mate. He's like, damn it, foiled again every single time.

I know, he really does try to get people fired every episode. He's like, Captain, we have reached an impasse with the chef. Something so unavoidably terrible is happening with him that I don't see how I could work with him. I am an iPhone user. He has Android and I think this will be a problem going forward. So he must be removed. That's you being a chief steal. You'd be like, I cannot handle another green bubble. He's out. Oh, I'd be much more passive aggressive. I'd be like, um, so, Chef, you saw what we were talking about

on the group text before? Oh, no, you didn't, because you're androids. Sorry. Sorry, we had the whole conversation in GIFs. So, you're not ever gonna be able to respond to that. Sorry. I'm sorry, we had the whole conversation in GIFs. So you're not ever gonna be able to respond to that. We knew we could include you still. You could still be part of a group text, assuming that like nothing weird happens and your texts

get like siphoned off into a single thread. But we just wanted to keep it all blue, all blue bubbles. So sorry. And you know, we have to remember that that's how Fraser came onto the show, remember? He was like, well, I am far above this other Chief Stu. I should be Chief Stu. I cannot believe that they are serving at this level when my level is up here and their level is down here. The level of levels! Like, he's always talking about how

it is not worthy of my level, you know? And then they were immediately, the customer immediately complained about Fraser and was like, they didn't even empty the trash in my room. And I was like, that's right. He's like, he's from his first scene, he's always been a big snotty talker and he just gets kind of knocked down every time.

And it's kind of funny. He's like the gay Charlie Brown. He's like the snooty Charlie Brown. That was when he was working under, was her name Heather, the bleach blonde, who would mess up and go, my apologies. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you haven't been served breakfast yet, and it's 1 p.m.? My apologies. Yeah. So we start, you know, some of this music, I've been doing the most when I'm outside, doing the most, I be so fine.

They're waking up in the morning. And they're all lying in bed. I noticed that. They're all just lying there. I think they're just trolling the cast at this point. Breakfast, the slow motion coffee persons at it again. Whoever is working the B-roll footage has a kink for watching coffee splurred

out. I mean, it's like they're standing there with a moon or just getting slow motion, sexy coffee. Like, it's like everything this episode, every spigot that gets turned on. And what's so funny is that this episode tonally is, or even overtly is about like making fun of these foodies and like all their, taking all their photos of the food, which is, it is ridiculous and they should be made fun of. But like the whole show is making fun of the foodies

and their food photography. I'm like, you realize this season's been the season where you're doing extreme closeups with like depth perception, depth of field with all, every single dish that comes out of the kitchen. Like, I hate to break it to you below deck, but you are the foodies right now. So Ben sees Sunny in the mess and he's like, good morning. And she just ignores him.

He's like, oh, chicks, man. Chicks. All right. I know that'll show him for a few minutes before later on when she decides to get back into bed with him. Wow, she's really, really proving a point. Oh gosh, so then Alex is, he's taught, so Alex is the guest, the main foodie,

the guy with the stupid sunglasses. Oh yeah. He's with the captain and they're watching the sun come up. And Alex is like, so this is how you start your days, huh? Watching the sun come up. He's like, well, sometimes. sometimes usually I'll meditate my room, but usually I'm up here waiting for pirates. A new day, a new adventure.

That's funny because the way I start my day is that I go to Joy Behar's autobiography and I read a random page. I take a picture of myself while I do it. I try to imagine what Joy Behar is eating for breakfast and decide to model my day after that. Yeah. Um, so then, uh, the captain's like, it's not really work, is it? Because when you love what you do,

Axel's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not work. Right? It's not work because you love it? Yeah, it's so good talking to you. Can I just be alone, mate? Please, just go yeah, yeah, it's not work. Right. It's not work because you love it. Yeah, it's so good top uni. Kunal, just be alone, mate. Please, just go away, mate. I just want to look at the sun. Or as they say in Turkey. It's like real life. She is the urine, am I right? Joy Behar loves turkey. It says Joy Behar.

Is that a furniture company? No, that's Joy Bird. So we go to put some water toys out. People are taking pictures of the food. And when we say that, we can't really stress enough how obnoxious these people are. Like literally taking pictures of every single thing. They're all so basic, too. Do these people actually have followers? Who follows these people?

Listen, I don't want to even watch hot people eat. You think I want to watch you eat? I don't want to watch you eat. Okay? Who wants to watch homely people eat? Is that a thing? Yeah, well... It is a thing, and, like, you don't understand how mortified I was because, you know, I make fun, but I am of this style of obnoxiousness because I recently did purchase

like a little light. Because my friend Cathy, who I know from my food blogging days was like, you know what, Ben, you just have to get that little light. Actually, I don't think she even said that. I think I said, Cathy, why do your photos look so good? She goes, I got a little light.

I'm not even gonna blame her. I'm not gonna make it sound like she came out of nowhere and told me. So I was like, I wanna know what your light is. So I got the little light and now I'm like taking, every time I take a picture of food, I take it like from, I take about seven photos of food. I just sent you a photo of beans I took.

They're just soaking. It's not even artistic, it's just soaking beans. I took 15 photos of those beans last night. By the way, how long are beans allowed to supposed to soak for because I think they've been in there for like 12 hours. Is that okay? Probably like 12 hours. They soak forever.

I don't even know who like, I don't know who even invented eating beans because they take so long. Like whoever it was, was like the most patient person ever, you know? Yeah. They're gigante beans. So I don't know how to, I'm going on a journey with them.

Anyway, but the point is this, I am that person taking the photos with a little light and I'm like seeing these people doing it and I'm just like embarrassed for myself and yet I know I'm not gonna stop. Yeah, it's like an addiction. It is. It's so pretty, they turn so pretty.

You're not on TV doing it, so I don't hate you for it yet, you know, but these people are annoying Yeah, it's like an addiction. It is. So pretty. They dress up so pretty. You're not on TV doing it, so I don't hate you for it yet, you know? But these people are annoying. And then the gay is like, I love shrimp for breakfast. It's one of my things. What an innovator. Wow. I used to just eat, you know, I used to eat just cheese and grits, but then I invented

shrimp and grits. It's kind of my thing. So Sandy's like, don't get me wrong. I love influencer, but I'm not an influencer. I'm not an influencer in that way. That's maybe like why I'm working on a fucking boat. I need to get a TikTok password. What is TikTok anyway?

What is it? So they're all ordering breakfast. They're ordering eggs Benedict. And then one girl is like, or a Genedict, because I'm Jen. Oh God, you're all Jen. A basic, an eggs Basedict, okay? Fucking basics.

There's like 10 people named Jen on here, okay? So Kyle is lifting a watermelon like a weight, as you know, people do. And then in the galley, Zandy's standing there waiting for food. And the chef's like, uh, this is going to where it ended, mate. Oh, God hasn't gone this well since 1937, my seventh year in Sheffield 20 years ago.

I'll always remember the first time I made an eggs Benedict. I was just about to play the Hyundai sauce when the news came over the radio. The Hindenburg had just crashed." And she's like, knock on wood, and goes, no, no, I don't say it, don't, don't, no, what, sorry, gibberish comes out, just, junk comes out, junk comes out of me. Like, you know those are normally curse words.

Like, you know he says the B and the C word? After seeing this episode, you know that he just says B and C word to himself all day episode, you know that he just says B and C word to himself all day long. Don't you think? Yeah, that's probably why he's like a little flustered because he can't do his normal cursing. So these perfectly...

He's like trying to do his normal thing without being canceled. He's like, all right, lighten up on the misogyny in the muttering, how am I gonna do that? Yeah, so these eggs Benedict's are going up and Fraser looks and he's like, him. How do I rudely say, are you going to garnish the plate? Because Fraser's talking like this is just like set like a really too, like all just sad eggs Benedict's and you know, Ronnie and I had breakfast together on Friday and I got a

sausage, chicken and cheese and it was like a whole plate was just like a sandwich on it and nothing else. And like that was a sad plating, but Fraser's acting like these eggs Benedict were like that. But then when we actually see them, they're very tastefully garnished. There's like some parsley and there's like even like an herb that's kind of like cascading along the side. And the moment that that happened, like when we saw what the garnish of this plate was after Frazer's like, um, these are totally ungarnished. I was like, I think Ronnie's right. I think Frazer is undermining.

Yeah, he is. He's just going out of it. Cause Frazer is one of those people who thinks that just criticizing somebody else makes him more tasteful. I guess maybe it's hypocritical. Maybe we have that. I don't know. But like, constantly criticizing makes him feel better, like he's the best at the job, you know? Like, he still does that. He's done it since his first episode, and I think he's still doing it, and he's doing it in ways...

It's like, look at me, I'm a good Chief Stu, because I think everything's terrible, you know? And he's always trying to do it right in front of the captain, too, because the captain's sitting there eating, and he's like, oh, really? You're not even gonna garnish a plate? And last week, it was like, look at these french fries. Disgusting plating. You know? It's like he's just coming for them, constantly in front of someone else,

and it just makes him look weak, I think. I don't think it... I think that someone like the captain looks at that and just sees a weak person constantly gossiping. And then he's doing it to Paris, who's an underling, and also making Paris go do something about it. It's just a weird way around. Yeah, it's not good.

And on top of that, by the way, I think eggs Benedict are kind of difficult to garnish. First of all, as Tom Colicchio says, you should never have a garnish that's on there just to be a garnish. Tom Colicchio hates a garnish that's not functional. And I feel like this guy probably is of that mindset too. And you can't just put berries or fruit on an eggs benedict because I feel like that's a clashing flavor to go with. Eggs benedict is a very savory thing to have. There's egg yolk going everywhere, hollandaise, ham bacon, or who knows what you're gonna be putting on it,

but it's mainly ham or Canadian bacon. So like, would you put like melon and fruit with an eggs Benedict? I put like potatoes as the way to go maybe. No, you put parsley or like a little, some like little chopped up chives or something. Like I would do, I would do like an herb oil. You know what I would do?

I would do like maybe like a little bit of a drizzle, like an herb oil garnish with like some nice really like dots that'll make it look kind of like an herb oil. You know what I would do? I would do maybe like a little bit of a drizzle, like an herb oil garnish with like some nice dots that would make it look kind of like a little elevated. I would do it with potatoes or something. It's not just coming out alone. But also, no, I wouldn't do any of that because Frazer's just making stuff up to look like it to be a little fucking tattletale

in front of the captain and make this guy look stupid. Frazer's just... He's trying... I think that he's trying to look like he's doing a good job, but he is looking like a little wuss. And I'm embarrassed for him at this point, because it's like a character flaw, and he doesn't seem to be able to get past it, because he does it with literally everybody.

It's embarrassing. So then, he's bitching to Paris, so now he's gonna... He ends up... This ends up being a domino effect, where he sticks Paris on this guy, and then it's gonna turn into a horrible, horrible situation for Paris, you know? And she's really just kind of doing his bidding. Now granted, she kind of takes it into her own thing later,

because the chef's reaction to her doing this is not good. Okay, so she's like, all right, so she goes in there, and she's like... all right. So she goes in there and she's like... She actually does my suggestion. She said, do we have a drizzle, like a garnish on the plate or something like that. Well, he's already putting parsley on. So Fraser saw without anything on there.

So he's saying this garnish sucks, but he's now garnishing the plates with parsley. So he's just sent her in there and he is garnishing the plates. So she's like, well, do we have he's even explaining to Xandie that the reason you put parsley is to cleanse the palette before the next thing. And so Paris comes in and she's like, do we do we have a drizzle to garnish the plate a little bit? And he's like, well, he said no oil. So you're ready to go. Like either you you and me are going to either be friends or

you're going to hate me by the end of this. And she goes, mm hmm. All right. Well, this is done. Okay. Thank you very much. So she takes these plates up. And at first, when he puts the parsley down, it does for a moment look sad because you just see like sometimes when you have just a simple little sprig of parsley on a plate, it looks so like airline food or whatever, like, oh, here's my attempt to make it look fancy. But then later, again, we see that it's not just parsley, there was like something else there on that plate. And I thought it was like very tasteful and very chic. But even if not, it's not the waitress's job

to tell the chef, you need to garnish this. That's bullshit. Like any other chef would have thrown a knife at her head. Okay, she cannot. I mean, Fraser, it could be argued that maybe Fraser could say something, although I don't think it's his place either. He shouldn't be doing that.

You know, just... It's not the boss. But he has more of a right. I mean, there's an argument to be made. I get it. But the waitress, hell no. She doesn't get to go in there and tell the chef what to do. This is bullshit. Yeah, and then he's... And then Paris is like, well, he says he doesn't want to do it. And he's like,

but he said no oil, but we have tomatoes. He could garnish with some berries. Like, I really hate that. Like I hate, I, I'm with Tom Clicky on this one guys, which is that if I got eggs Benedict and there was like two random tomatoes on the side, I'd be like, that's kind of annoying. I don't know. I don't like, just like, I hate stuff that's really not supposed to be there that's like part of the order. Raw tomato, bad, terrible. Yeah, and I don't want that raw tomato juice

to be like leaking into my hollandaise. So now, Fraser, okay, so now you want her to go in and argue with the chef for you? You fucking wuss, like what is wrong with you? So she's like, well, he won't do it. So thank God she just walks away, but now the chef hates her, right? He's seeing him stewing. He's like, -"Oh, my God, you really..."

And then inaudible, most likely B and C words, is my guess. So then, Sunny is fixing a wood chair, and Ben's just been dumped by What's Her Bunch on national TV. So Ben, who yesterday cruelly dumped Sunny on national television and treated her like absolute garbage is now, of course, flirting with her again, because his plan B has crashed and burned, which we all knew was gonna happen,

but wow, the guy has no subtlety at all. Just like, well, I look stupid, so I'm gonna be immediately back on this one. So he is being flirtatious and asking her about like, gluing this chair and everything, and if it's gonna set in time. And Sunny says, like, I'm feeling definitely like, I'm feeling like really awkward, like I'm pretending things are fine. And it's just, it's a little difficult. And I was like, good, Sunny, you're sticking to your guns, right? Like, this guy treated you with no respect and now is dumping you. He made you act a certain way and then he responded to that way by making it seem

like you were the crazy one. And then he dumped you. Good for you sticking to your guns. You're not going to, you're not going to like just because he's flirting with you, flirt back with him. You keep, you're on the path now, Sonny. This time it's going to work. Yeah. Well, no. And by work, I mean work I mean the path to- People don't change. Yeah, people don't change especially this quickly, okay? It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a Crappence commercial. I love a good parasocial relationship with a celebrity who will probably never know my name. I mean, honestly, who knows? Don't count yourself out. But my favorite part about these feuds is how they're ignited by the tiniest things. Jada, I love you.

G.I. Jane 2. Can't wait to see you. I accidentally laminated my brows too much. It starts small, and then it gets so big. Hey, honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day. I don't know her. We all just have to admit, we're addicted. Everybody has opinions. Everyone picks sides. Leave Britney Spears alone right now!

From Wondery, I'm Sydney Battle. And I'm Matt Bellassai. And this is Dis and Tell. La la la. Where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds and whether or not our attention only makes the whole thing worse. Follow Diss and Tell wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Shimon Liayi, and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls

compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life.

I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully, no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is the competition. Follow the competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to the competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So Kyle comes up behind Barbie as she irons and he's trying to flirt with her and he's like, oh yeah, right. And she's like, not really. I come from Argentina, it's just like I'm more about his world and this is not modest. And so they show, the show who really cares about her dad flipping out just shows the sex scene again.

I know. Yeah, like my father's opinion matters highly, but I'm an adult and I like him and he likes me and there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing with Kyle and he's a good guy. So I don't really know. It's like poor person dick or future Chanel bags. So then Barbie's like, Kyle, yes, what? Nevermind. You're killing me. I'm like, okay. Well, that was great. So now over at the breakfast table, um, the scroll, Isabelle is like, hum, let's say, guess what? One of Zach's 50 dates, respond to me on Instagram. It's like, yeah, I did 50 dates in 50 days. Yeah. That's how I found my girlfriend. Um,

congratulations. Been chosen out of 50 people in 50 days. I feel like the phrase is that's how I found my now ex-girlfriend. Yeah, and a lady is like, oh my God, did you rate all of them? I mean, was there like a list? He goes, yeah, it was a spreadsheet. So, well, by the way, this guy special. The only way this guy would have 50 dates in 50 days is to pay a service, because this is no prize. I mean, I love that you're setting yourself up to be the prize of all these people auditioning to be with you.

Fucking gross. I mean, on the other hand, good for you for having some self-confidence, because maybe that's lacking in the world. I would say that to a bunch of homely influencers, what you're not lacking is self-confidence. You've all got plenty of that, but gross. Either way, gross, Zach, gross. Yeah, so down in the galley, the chef,

what's the chef's name again? I forgot already. Nick. Nick, I want, he gives me big Dave energy, but Nick. Okay, Nick. So Nick is, he just likes doing a mumbling. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, see, but, see, but, don't see the see, but Nick, okay, Nick. So Nick is, he just likes doing a mumbling. So we're going to do a sea bird, sea bird. Don't see the sea bird. Don't see the sea bird. Gone or sea bird. Oh, so, um, he's just like, these people are driving me crazy. Uh, these incompetent people are driving me crazy. And Barbie's like, um, who's incompetent?

I come from a conservative culture and he's like, no, no, no, I'm just talking to myself. I'm, I'm the incompetent person. So then, um, one of the gems is like, um, I want no, I'm just talking to myself. I'm the incompetent person. So then one of the gents is like, I wanna take a picture on this sea bar, but you take a picture of me. So Ben takes a picture and then she's like, okay. And then a lady is taking a picture of him taking her picture.

It's like very meta. It's a lot of Instagramming going on. And she's like, you're not even gonna write it? She's like, no, I just wanted the picture on it. Yeah, that says water sports, and then the bananas going going wild and everything. And then chef hands a sauce for to Paris. And because there's a bunch of tacos out there for the crew meal, and she's like, all these tacos for the crew. And he's like, yeah, so she takes mayo and just starts like

squirting it on on her taco and she's like i'm i am a mayonnaise fiend it's my personality you might have seen my previous work in confessional number one or four where i split mayonnaise directly into my mouth but it hilarious actually got me on this show. All right. So those people who say don't bring props to auditions, fuck you, go suck a dick. All right. It worked for me. And he goes, Oh, wow, man, he say you get a bit chubby and a guy breaks your heart, you know, don't come

complaining to me. Oh, Nick. Uh, don't love this playful banter here. Quote unquote, playful banter. Of course it turns immediately sexist with Nick. And we all kind of knew it was coming, you know? I mean, it's, as we said, he's like giving Fred Flintstone energy

in a Barney Rubble body. And you know, he's the type of guy that's like, oh, you can't make jokes about anything anymore. You know, he's always those guys. Like everyone's so sensitive. It's called having a sense of humor. You can't make jokes about anything. And then you say, well, like your eggs Benedict, it's fucking garnishless plate. You know what? I do my work. He'll be the one that gets really sensitive about

something. Look at me changing my opinion about him. Fuck this guy. So Paris is like, I can't even slap someone on the ass and call them toots anymore. Am I right? Yeah. So Paris is like, you know what, I did get chubby at one point and I was still hot. You know, Nick is weird as fuck. I'm walking my ass off and running around. Trust me, bro. I'll work off the calories. And then he, she squirts mayo into her mouth, which is, you know, I don't, I don't know. Paris already has such a personality. I hate that she's juxtaposing her natural cariz or her riz as the kids say, with the mayo bit. I don't need the mayo bit. So then Nick's like, well, I'm pretty chunk.

He's trying to save it basically where he's like, well, I'm pretty chunky now and I'm fucking hulk, so I'll get it. A, no, you're not. And B, that's unsavable. But you know what you should do now is just double down and get even more sexist. I think that'll save you. Surely, think that'll save you. Surely. Surely that'll save you. Um, so the guy, Steven, the guy, the guy with the beard, goes down the slide and Fraser's like, "'Okay, husband, get in the water so I can see your soaking,

wet body. I'll tell you what needs a garnish. Him and I'm the parsley.'" So Fraser's basically like, "'Yesterday we've got the day of Water Sports and Light lunch service, and the guests will have requested a New Year's celebration. So, he radios up to Barbie to set up New Year's Eve and everything, and he says that there's going to be a meal at the strike, or at the stroke of midnight. It's absurd what's happening. All I know is whether it's a strike or a stroke,

there'll definitely be some stroking happening at some point this evening. whether it's a strike or a stroke, there'll definitely be some stroking happening at some point this evening. So Stephen's joking like, where's my boyfriend? And the Stephanie's are all like, oh my God, do you mean your fiance? Oh my God, we're gonna do like a gay people getting married thing, so I hope you're ready to propose.

Frazier, are you ready to be proposed to? It's gonna be hilarious. 50 dates. So, um... No, that was Zach. This is Steven. No, I know, but she's riding the high of his 50 dates. Remember? Because one of the dates, wrote her on Instagram. She's basically famous now.

She's like, he bet that date, she like wrote me and was like, wait a second, are you friends with the guy who did the 50 dates thing? That was amazing. I thought you were getting your basics messed up. No, it was an intentional reference. I was painting a picture. Sorry. We're diving deeper into Stephanie's life.

Steph, Stephanie, and Steph. And Steph-Fen. So he's like, oh my God, so I'm gonna go get Captain Carrie. We're gonna make this really weird and get married right now. So then the chef is now with Paris again, so she's pissed now because she pissed him off, then he made a snarky comment to her, and now she's pissed off.

All of this started because of fucking Frasier making her go in there with garnish requests. So he goes, are you okay? And she goes, yeah, you know, in between lifting heavy shit, and he goes, I mean, yeah, for a chick, you're quite just what, butch? And he goes, well, you're not as weak as other chicks. And she's like, wow, you really know how to talk

to a woman, don't you? He's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. They're doing one of those things where they are like, or he's doing this thing where he's like covering up rage with laughter, you know? So it's like, it just feels tense, these interactions. You know it's gonna bubble over. You know that there's gonna be one comment

that the playful banter vibe is gonna go away from. You know, it's gonna evaporate. It started with him being like this stupid waitress comes in here and tells me how to garnish, and so I'm gonna be a dick, I'm gonna be a sexist dick to her. But then he's a sexist dick to her, and she doesn't take his shit for two seconds,

so now he likes her. So now he's flirting with her, but he's still saying sexist dick things because he's a sexist dick. And now she wants to fucking murder him. And now she's going to reject him and it's going to really make him hate her. So all of this doesn't have to do with the garnish, but it all began with the garnish. You see, it's a parsley fucking snowball. Exactly, and that's why you always have to do the right garnish and don't try to force something, Frazier. So, um, meanwhile, Kyle and Ben and Sunny are hanging out, and Kyle's, I mean, uh, uh, Ben is, like, very proud. He's like, so I spoke to, I spoke to Bobby,

and Kyle's like, good. Or Ben said, I'm sorry, Kyle said he spoke to Barbie, and Ben says, you know, I spoke to, I spoke to Bobby and Kyle said, good. Or Ben said, I'm sorry, Kyle said he spoke to Barbie and Ben says, you know, I spoke to her and I said, you know, you have to speak to Kyle because he's been nothing less than a gentleman. It's like, and then Sonny's just there. Why doesn't Sonny say, this is none of your business, Ben. You should have butted out.

Like it's like, it's not your right to walk up to someone and say like what they should or should not be doing. Ben said she just sits there, you know, being a great friend to Barbie. KILGARETTE LAUGHS Um, so then, um, Kyle's like, I like her a lot, I just don't know where I stand. It built and built and built, and now it's in the gutter.

You're a woman grown. Maybe it's a bit more than what your dad thinks about it. Eh? Um, no, because you're poor. And that was her monologue last week. She's like, yeah, normally, like, with any money, but Kyle. I mean, like, you know, anyone with any kind of class or any kind of money, but like, I mean, he's so cute for a poor person.

Like, he's like, it's like wanting to always fuck one of the chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins. You know what I mean? And now's my chance, but my dad's really gonna be pissed. Uh... So, um, so then Zandi and Paris are doing laundry, and Zandi is like, "'Here are more holes.'" And Paris goes, "'Oh, who doesn't want more holes?' And Zandi says, "'I'm good with the holes that I have.

It's enough maintaining them.'" Ha ha ha ha. Zandi zing. Amen, sister. Uh, so then Dylan is checking the ignition on the boat, and he's like, look at me checking the ignition. We have a camera, a crane operator here now. It's sunny, you go girl, you go girl. Woman power cranes, woman power with a crane.

Do it. I'm going to do fist bump with you. Let's do a handshake, but it's secret, but you don't know the secret because you're a woman. But hold on. Oh, did it, did it. I'm going to fist bump with you. Let's do a handshake, but it's secret. But you don't know the secret because you're a woman, but hold on. Oh, did it. Did it. She's capable of handshakes. I can see why you're having sex with her on the boat. Now hold on while I now wash the calories from your hand off of my hand. Thank you. I don't know how much ham you've been touching. So, um, Sunny, meanwhile, is laughing. And then Dylan, Dylan says, actually,

I was a crane operator on cargo ships, like massive 120,000 kilograms. And I started listening to podcasts when I was working with the crane. And they said in the podcast, you've got to surround yourself with people you want to be like one day. So that's when I decided I'm going to Katie Maloney's side. And I love when they said, uh, he listens to podcasts now. It shows a picture of him in a really tight t-shirt with air buds in. It's like, look, there's him listening to a podcast. And I'm only, can only imagine what he's listening to.

We know it's Dylan's affirmations. It's just him. You asked wrong. Yup. Yup. Farts are only made of protein. Everybody believes in you. You are the biggest man in town. You will never be fat again. You operated a large crane once.

It's funny when people are like excited that they operated a large crane. Like, I mean, it's cool. I can't do it, but I wonder, is there a significant difference between operating a large crane versus a small crane? Cause at the end of the day, you're still just moving joysticks around, right?

Well, of course, it's a lot more danger. It's a lot more, it's a bigger license, just like having the boat. I mean, you're always floating, but having a license for a giant boat is way better than having a tiny boat license. I was just trying to take his crane bragging down a peg. You really are.

I mean, let the man live. I know he's not the best guy in the world, but he earned that crane license. God damn it. All right, we'll give it to him. So he says, that's why if you believe it, you can achieve it. I'm like, so you have, you're like, I would like instead of operating a large crane, I would like to be at like at the whims of rich people.

You literally just got passed up for a chief deca- or lead deca- position. I don't know that any of this is true. I feel like people are like- If you believe it, you can do it. Okay, well not the lead deca- position, but literally anything else. I feel like when people say, if you believe it, you can achieve it. Like I once was working on a boat boat and now I own my own company. And he's like, I once was working on one boat and now I work on a slightly different boat.

It's a different kind of boat. I'm still in the service industry and I'm lowly ranked. But at the end of the day, he is still kind of, you know, being Dylan where he's like, oh, look at you, I support you sonny. Look at you working in little tiny crane. Oh, I have a license for huge cranes, but have fun with that little crane. Oops, messed up already. Sad crane, crying ham. That is what maybe the ham saw this and that is why it's crying little do's of fat out of it that I have to wash off of

my hand. So Sunny hits the wrong button and she goes, my bad, he goes, no, we are Golden Girl. Thank you for being my friend. So then now it's New Year's night. So the guests are all gathering in their New Year's costumes. And one of the Stevens is like, oh my God, gay people getting married.

Steven, you're gonna propose to Fraser. Fraser, you're gonna get proposed to by Steven. Gay people getting married. Stephen, you're going to propose to Fraser. Fraser, you're going to get proposed to us. Stephen, gay people getting married. This is how the Supreme Court must have been laughing during that decision. It is hilarious. So, what do you look like when you're down on your knees? Yes, Stephen, please tell us what you look like when you're down on your knees. And he's like, oh, that escalated quickly. So meanwhile, Barbie could- I hate these people so much.

I don't know why, but I hate these basic ass people. I hate them. They're making me crazy. And I'm not getting any chemistry with these two people. Are you, with Fraser and Steven? No, well, I think that Fraser's just happy to be getting anything coming his way. And I was just so grateful the way Fraser handled it compared to, um,

Kyle and Frank from below deck met. The way you smile is it could light up like a thousand nights. That's small. I would do anything for that smile. Frank. I was actually, I mean, I was grateful for Fraser's restraint, to be honest. I believed Kyle and Frank, though. I believed that one. I believed that they wanted to rip each other's clothes off

and get married. I mean, it lasted five minutes, but I believed that one. This one I don't. I think Steven just wants to be on TV and Fraser wants to be seen as lighthearted. He's like, look at me, horny and in love. Horny and in love, Fraser. Well, it's the only gay person that Bravo's been kind enough to send my way,

so I might as well see where it goes. I absolutely cannot wait to rip his clothes off. Look at him. He's like a hideous little ogre with probably hairy toes. But I'll fuck him him because why not? And Steven's like, wow, he's so hot. I want to walk on him. I'm not buying it. Okay, so then Barbie calls her sister in the mess and she's like, oh, like, just trying to be a massive bitch

about what I tell you, okay? And the sister's like, oh my God, is this something dad's not gonna like? She's like, yeah, it's something about dad. So, you know, this season I've been like going through so much shit. It's like been terrible about like, I have this guy, Kyle, he's like pretty much

been my rock through this whole thing. So like, I mean, I was into him too, but because of dad and shit, I didn't do anything, but like we've become a thing now. And so what soda does his dad work for? I don't even know. He didn't know what bottled water was. Actually, when I said there's bottled water, he was like, why would they put water in a

bottle? What a waste. So. Barbie, what the hell are you doing here? Okay, you know, Dad has standards with this kind of stuff. We can't just like sleep with people who are not attached to soft drinks. Yeah, I mean, like the heaviest thing for me is like a letting dad down because I was like looking like at least for like a Fanta or

like a doctorate salts, but nothing like nothing. Well, you should have thought that before. Okay, so now it is what it is. Okay, I'm like, well, way to go sister, not not being bitchy to Barbie right now. Sure thought about that beforehand, Barbie. But that really has him terrified. Like, oh my god, you're making dad mad. You're having a relationship on a boat. What is dad gonna do? I mean, this is why it's so good. And the dad is actually setting himself up for failure here by making the kids work, because he's showing the rich kids

that they can do it themselves, and they don't need his stupid ass, so they can dump him and he can go die alone. That's what I say. Your father should never be able to control you like that. He should be able to fuck on national TV all you want to, Barbz. But am I gonna disappoint dad?

Like, yeah, but at least I'm gonna be myself. And be myself is like, I like this guy. Yeah, well, that's what you said about Jordan Pibbs. Okay, and that was a disaster. And it is kind of refreshing when someone's like, oh my God, what's gonna happen when I disappoint my billionaire father? It's like, you're working on a boat.

You know what I mean? Because most of the time, in fact, that would be the most disappointing thing. But this time, it's just like being in a poor person when you're just undercover poor, trying to prove your dad that you're worth the Coca-Cola fortune at the end of the day. BARBIE basically is like, you know what?

I respect my father, and it's like, but it's even more than my family. It's important to be, it's important that I'm just like, you know what, I respect my father, and it's like, but even, it's even more than my family. It's important to be, it's important that I'm just like, me, okay? And Kyle has a really big dick, what can I say? So, I mean, you can only hold off for so long. It's blurred out, which is a little weird, but hopefully my dad will at least be thankful

I'm hooking up with someone with a blurry dick. So, you're welcome, Dad. BLAIR LAUGHS And the sister's like, at the end of deck. So you're welcome, dad. And the sister's like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And you're the person who lives with their decisions. You. Dun, dun, dun. Wow. Great support.

Sounds like a real fucking pleasure cruise over there. I know. Sounds like a great time. Okay. With whatever her name is. Mandolina or whatever. So, Fraser's like- Fina. Gloria.

I'm really into Coca-Cola's water division today, can you tell? I don't know why I won't go with soda, I'm like sticking with bottled water. Okay, so Fraser is like, all crew, all crew, guest dinner this evening at 10, from then will be the countdown to 2023 to 2023.5. Ha ha ha ha.

I can't wait to make sweet, sweet love to the love of my life. Steven. So Paris is like, say, Steven, you're going to have a new use case? And he's like, I have no idea. The chemistry is just insane. So then Barbie Fraser And Fraser are in the mess and Barb is like so everyone's saying you're gonna have a New York hit New York New Year's Eve Kiss is your dad. Okay with that? Well, tell me and he's like Bobby new he's like just brush your teeth before midnight Fraser Okay He's like, just brush your teeth before midnight, Fraser. Cake house! Come on shoes, here comes one right now.

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existence, she must decide who and what she is willing to protect. From Wondery, the makers of Academy and Dr. Death, The Last City stars actors Reyes Seahorn, Jeannie Tirado and Maury Sterling. Follow The Last City on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Last City early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Paris is talking to, she's teasing Zach, I mean she's teasing Steven about maybe this is the most important year of your life.

And she's like, you know, I've never hooked up with a guest because my charters, the guests are usually 70 to 80 years old and I'm not really into crusty deke and I like dekes that work because I know that at that age they don't work. So... I mean, I feel bad for the older kidnas on the farm. Cause you, could you imagine having five dicks on your body and they all, none of them even work? It's just sad at that point. So then let's see, Frazier and Barbie are joking around about him hooking up. Cause she's like,

Oh, you better brush your teeth because you're totally gonna have a little wiener. And he's like, Bobby, please don't do your teeth, because you're tunneling in a goblin arena.'" And he's like, "'Bobby, please don't do this to me. Bobby, I will fire you again. And I'll try to fire you again.'" And Sandy goes, "'Yeah, we all know how that's gonna go.'" She's like, "'Yeah, not very well,

because you can still do whatever you'd like.'" So I guess that was a fail. Yeah, and then meanwhile, Dylan and Ben and Kyle are just like chilling on a raft. They're just hanging out, lying back there, which drives me nuts because the deckhands are always the ones that complain when they have to help out service. And yet, when nighttime comes,

they can just hang out there for hours and hours and hours. And so they have to bring a single plate to a table and they're like, we're always picking up your slack. So it's just a random, just a holistic rant about the Below Deck franchise in general. So then Fraser and Captain Kerry are talking and Fraser's like, hello cap, the malicious rumors about a guest that wants to have a new year's kiss with the crew. What are your thoughts on that?

He's like, well, that, that what they sexual harassment, the opposite of a bit, it's not quite an adventure if you ask me. But what if the crew member's actually extremely keen on it, even though it means closing his eyes and fantasizing about someone else entirely during the process? Um, so he's like, all right, mate, well, here's the thing, that's sexual harassment. But I'm keen. He's like, all right, it's fine. If it's a New Year's Eve and that's it, you can do it. Now, if I had a boat man, if I had a boat man, if a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it,

doesn't attack Saddam Hussein in a ball pit adventure. So tonight it's going to be be surf and turf. So the chef is like, he's like, oh god, am I supposed to make something interesting for these fucking foodies? I mean, me personally, I wouldn't order surf and turf, haven't eaten it since at least, I don't know, the first time photographs were invented. But I don't like mixing my seafood with my meat, and you've got to cook what they want, so let's get the social media pics looking good for these guys." So he basically makes surf and turf. But he actually separated it out. It's not even the same plate, right?

There's like a steak course and then a fish course. Yeah. Which was like standard at like a plated, at a... like a... like a tasting menu. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I love this chef is like, I don't believe in surf and turf. Oh, okay. Okay, it's pretty pretty standard.

Yeah. So then Fraser mingles with Steven. He's like, hello, person I have charisma with. Look at you in a gold suit. How sexy. So what do you do for work? And he's like, I'm in real estate. And he goes, oh.

So it's going well then. He's like, I'm in real estate. And he goes, oh. So it's going well then. He's like, ah, yeah, I'm just profusely sweating, sorry. He's like, how deliciously sexy. Wow. It's so nice of you to not even bother attempting to come up with a fake profession to turn me on. I can't say I've had much kink about having to have sex with someone who sells split level homes in the Maryland suburbs, but I can try.

There, my boner went away. Gone. Who's trying? It really is. So now it's dinnertime and you know, because 10 phones whip out and start, dong, dong, dong, dong, ding, ding, taking pictures of everything. it's dinnertime and you know because ten phones whip out and start dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung d Your crane is bigger than her crane. You're still important. So now, um, so the chef is gonna be, like you said,

putting foam onto a plate, and the foam machine is, like, not working properly. And so, um, he's gonna add the foam, like, right at the last second. And so he tries to add the foam, and it just sort of, like, splurts out, but it looks like a sauce. It's like a... It's fine, if you ask me. And I thought, by the way, I thought these dishes looked very lovely. And in fact, we see a photo of this lobster tail with Krugets and foam and the photo is very nice. And I think these are all look lovely. And Frazer, of course, is

like, I'm wondering what the hell. And look, I know that I've just sound like completely anti-Frazer and I really not, you know, I've just sound like completely anti-Fraser and I'm really not. You know, I think he's sucking right now, but I am kind of rooting for him at the end of the day, but he's just not winning, you know? And then now he's like coming for this guy and this dish actually looks decent.

It's a fucking lobster tail on a zucchini. Like how beautiful do you want? Do you think it's that it's white on white? I mean, what does he, what does he matter? He doesn't, he doesn't want to like it. We've seen poorly played his food on the show and he's just like, he's like, I'm actually quite shocked by this.

The presentation is horrific and you're not complaining about it. I mean, sure. Like, and he's like, he's like horrified. We've seen so much worse. I mean, what was it that, I mean, just from Anthony alone, we've seen worse. I don't understand what Fraser's, like, big problem is here. Yeah, I don't either, and I do think that if it was bad,

one of these Instagrammers would be like, "'Ew, this is ugly." You know? Yeah. They have no problem being like that. So he's like, "'I think that the experience of being on a super yacht is just so magical to these people that they're just overlooking things.

But you know what? I'm glad that they are. Because if they weren't, I'm glad that they are because if they weren't, I'd be worse off. So thank you for having no taste. So- I think being on a super yacht is so glamorous that it makes you think you have to be more of a dick to act like you have more taste than you actually do

because half the shit you're going off about isn't even real. It's just made up in your head, you nutcase. Now, hold on, because the chef is gonna give you plenty of reasons to really hate his ass, but now you're gonna go crying wolf to the captain, and when this sexist asshole really does do something worth getting fired, he's not going to,

because you're crying wolf. Mm-hmm. Sorry. So now the guests are joking about Nick, because they love the food. And one guy's like, she's like, oh my God, I love this food. And someone's like, oh my God, she's gonna step brother's ass and roll him into a ball. Which I imagine is a reference to the movie Step Brothers,

but I never saw it, so it didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Yeah. So then let's see here. The chef is talking, so he sees Paris again. So he goes, oh, Paris, my third favorite stew. She goes, third? You better watch your tongue. And he goes, it's a joke. You're my top three.

She's like, oh, you are hilarious. So I think he thinks that he's flirting now, and she wants him to just burn alive. Yeah. So now he's like ready to plate for the next course, but like one of the guests is just taking like 30 minutes to eat her dish because she keeps taking photos of it or just just eating it slowly, which is strange to me because you're like a, if you're a food blogger, like it's weird that you're eating slowly in the sense that you're holding up an entire table. But I think it was like her little power move.

So they're just like waiting and waiting and waiting. And then Paris asked the chef if she can have a tea towel. And he goes, no. What does he give her? Like, I was confused. He's like a sea towel or something. She says, no, a tea towel, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, Junior. And he's like, listen, I've been up since five 30.

She says, oh, I'm just rousing you. And he goes, well, you know, I'm sensitive. And she's like, yeah, I can tell. Have you got garnish? Cause your plates have been lacking garnish. Okay. I was like, oh, and then, and by the way, the captain passes by and hears this.

So I love that the captain keeps passing and hearing drama and immediately walking away. Or he'll be like, there's drama coming. I'm getting right in the middle of it. And then he listens to it backs away slowly every time. Yeah. So this, of course, you know, chefs have such egos. So it's like, you know, 20 years, 22 years up in a chef and how old is she? She was still shit in the bed when I was a fucking, when I was fucking working there. Did he say a commie?

Uh, I don't remember. What was he saying? I was a fucking commie, there's a commie chef. He's like, I really am old. I was there when Lenin came into power. I remember when I was a fucking commie chef back when that was trendy. God. But if there's anything wrong with the food, it falls on me now. So what I say is the law get back to cleaning sinks and maybe scrub a toilet or something, you know, it's like a dun dun dun.

The violence like success violin, success violin. And she's a cucumber, the stars, the world is your oyster chef. He's like, oh yeah, great. We'll go back to the 80s. Um, I love when chefs do that whole thing to stews. Like, yeah, go back to like pushing a vacuum or cleaning sinks as if chefs don't also have to like literally do all those things in their galley. It's like, you know, that's what we see you every single episode. You have to wash your sink and sweep up your galley floor.

You're also doing the cleaning. Yeah. So now it's time to plate. And this stupid Steph still is 28 minutes later and she's still sitting there with her plate like, okay, I guess now I'm done. I would be so pissed. I would be so mad. I would just serve around her.

Yeah. I would just serve around her. Yeah. I would just be like, Steph, are you gonna eat your food because I'm ready for the next course? Yeah. Sorry. I would serve around her stupid ass. I hate people like this. Yeah, they actually should not have even,

they shouldn't have even taken away the plates. Did they take away the plates? You're not really supposed to take away plates, right, until everyone's finished eating. Well, but if they're just sitting there with empty plates in front of them, you have to take the plates. You can't just leave them there forever.

Yeah, I think it's supposed to be like- Because then people start pushing their plates up, and then you look like you're really shitty at your job, and then they start looking around like, oh, is anybody gonna take my plates? Yeah, so now they are playing,, played next courses going out and everything. And Paris still wants to garnish. They're really obsessed with the garnish, like, cause I think Frasier put the

garnish bug into Paris's head. So now she wants to garnish on everything. And, uh, then like Steven is talking about, he's just like really hot. He was just so hot in his outfit. So Frasier helps him take his jacket off and then also helps him take his pants off, which is, I'm like, okay. Yeah, cause they're like, oh my God,

gay people take off his pants too, so he doesn't. Oh my God, that's hilarious. Fraser, do a favor, do the honor of taking clothes off Steve. And he's like, of course, I think you can sit for this. Oh, God, the heat coming off of you is pretty impressive. So they're all filming it on their phones. She's like, oh my God, Steven, ask him to marry you now! So, um, now Chef is telling Ben that he thinks that Paris hates him. He's like, he's like, I mean, don't look at me like you're gonna murder me.

I mean, you scare me. Um, crazy women, right? Women at me like you're gonna murder me. I mean, you scare me. Crazy women, right? Women are so hot and cold. Yeah. So next course, chocolate fondant with chocolate from the Excursion. So now it's time for their New Year's party, and they do a happy New Year's thing, and Fraser's like, I'm gonna give my husband a kiss.

So he goes over and he gives the guy a kiss, and everyone screams. He's like, oh, the absolute chemistry roiling within me is unstoppable. My head is about to pop off. Anyone else? So they have like a little pack and Barbie's like, did you like it? What sort is he from?

And he's like, oh, it was, I was hoping for a bit more, like, personality, height, muscles, hair, eye features, really anything from this person. But other than that, it was fine. So now we get a climax to the Barbie romantic drama saga. She pulls Kyle aside, she's like, Um, can I talk to you? I just like, I just wanted to say that I'm really a girl standing in front of a much poorer boy, asking him, you know, how much money do you have?

And he's like, I don't know. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy.

I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a poor boy. I'm just a's like, I'm so proud of you. Let's bang. I'm just a girl standing in front of a much poorer boy asking him to get a lot more wealthy and then meet my dad. I'm just a girl standing in front of a dollar tree, asking a guy, is everything in there really a dollar? And then my sister passes by and throws a full bottle of Big Red at my head and drives away. And says, you should have thought of that before you walked into the Dollar Tree,

which by the way, they do not sell trees in there. So now Fraser is texting, he's texting Stephen in bed and Stephen's like, are you really sleeping in your room? Is that a hard no? And he's like, very unfortunately, that is a fire a bit fireable offense, sir. However, it would have been a great start to a new year. Nighty night, handsome. I can barely contain the chemistry in

this here text. So now it's the morning. And Frasers like, Oh, he messaged me on Instagram. He's been up. How pathetic of him. So then we see slow mo coffee and Fraser and Zandy are talking and Fraser's like, it's like, babe, you're wearing a guest shirt. You can't just take it. Stop smelling my man, you bitch. Look at me so enthused by the gay the producers found for me. I have zero notes. I'm so happy. So happy with this choice." He's like, last night at the stroke of midnight, two gorgeous men found love. Oh, look, there's my husband. Hello, husband. Would you like something? And the guy's like,

sure. A mimosa? God, this is not working. This is not working. So then, um, breakfast, uh, he's sugaring some muffins down there. And by the way, yeah, he's doing muffins. Okay. So then Fraser goes, could I get you some parsley or something? It's a trade sugar. The garnish is the powdered sugar. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. And he's like, I'm not, and I'm not going to garnish these eggs Benedict, you know? And he's like, but even if we just like use some cherry tomatoes and cut them up around the plate.

It's like, no, he was right. Like that would look, it actually would look very 90s, I think, if you put up some like little sliced cherry tomatoes around your eggs Benedict. No, it's standing on its own. And I hate it because it's putting us in a position of standing up for the chef who's a pig. Like we can already tell he's a pig. We know he's a sexist pig.

And we know he's gonna only get worse from the previews, but we still have to stick up for him because you're being such a dumbass about this, Fraser. Come on. Pick your battles, dude. Parsley is not your battle. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, yeah, the chef's just like, shut up about the fucking garnishes.

I mean, honestly, I mean, you guys use influencers. The Yelp is. Can you yelp a private chef? How does that work? Being yelped. Don't really know. I'll just call them the seaward under my breath. So, Fraser walks away, he's like,

just do as I say. Just do as I say. So then, yeah, see, that's his problem, I think. You're not the boss here, sir. You are outranked. For someone who's all about the rank, you are outranked here, right? The chef outranks the... I think so. So now the breakfast is being served

and someone wants a crepe. And so Frasier's like, okay, it'll be probably a chocolate crepe. So he goes into the galley and he says, it's gonna be eggs Benedict and a crepe and let's make the crepe chocolate. And the chef was like, well, if I'm on a super yacht,

I want to request my crepe. I don't want to leave it up to just me to come up with a crepe, basically. And so Captain Curry comes in and he's like, what's this? Are we talking about a crepe full of adventure? My favorite feeling of all. I don't really understand this whole thing

because isn't... is it this below deck where the chiefs too was like, they need more options. You can't just tell them what they're gonna have. And now... It always goes back and forth. It's like, there's some, there's some where it's like, the chef is just gonna call all the shots. And then there's some where they're like,

and they're like, that's bad. And there's some where they're like, we wanna give all the options, but then that's bad because the guests give too many options. So it's all about like trying to find that balance of like creating some structure, but also a sense of choice. But weren't they having a problem with the other chef because they kept giving everybody a zillion options

for their meal? Yes. That's what happened well with Anthony because he had trouble. There was that one episode where Barbie took everyone's orders, took them down incorrectly, and then wrote them on a whiteboard in a strange way, and Anthony was like, uh. And everything got-

Those were food allergies, right? So I guess that would be different because everybody had different requests. Some could have, some were vegetarian, some were gluten-free. But wasn't there another one where they were just offering them a million different ways of... It's happened a million times, yeah.

And it always gets them into a mess. And so I think that's what Frazier means when he says, like, well, I don't want to offer that. And then she comes back with, she wants strawberries. So he's like, well, whatever. I'll do a ramekin of chocolate, do a ramekin of syrup, do a ramekin of strawberries. Like, no big deal.

No. So then, I don't know. I just don't, by the way, I looked up, how do rankings work? I looked this. So then, I don't know, I just don't, by the way, I looked up how do rankings work. I looked this up on Reddit because, you know, that's the Bible. And someone says, someone here says, the captain has four stripes, gold, interior has silver stripes, Kate has three,

so this is old. Deck hands, gold stripes are led by the boson, and then first mates, three stripes, bossen, two stripes, and all the deckhands are one stripe. And then they say the chief stew and the chef are the same stripes, they have the same rank. So I guess chef doesn't outrank stew. Oh, good, I'm glad I looked that up.

Well, now we know. Really made a mess out of myself there. Could have been so embarrassing going on the record about the Rinks. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, so then the docking and succession violence, because docking, you know, who knows? When dad dies, who's gonna take over this dock slip? Or this boat slip?

So then the chef is like, this joking shows we made the right choice of bosin with Ben and the Lee Dickie and Sonny excellent work. I um I thought one of the guests maybe was Stephanie was like where are we going? Are we just like backing into the dock? And the guy's like yeah like she was like confounded like I mean it feels like we're docking but but it's the back of it's going in instead of the front. I just, I don't know.

My world's being turned upside down right now. So then Dylan's just touching his own ab muscles going, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. This ab muscle has crane license. And then we go to Barbie and Sunny and they're changing and Sunny's like, Oh, I asked Kyle how his day was going and he said it's really good today. And Barbie's like, oh, I asked Kyle how his day was going and he said it's really good today. And Barney's like, yeah, all day yesterday,

I was like, what am I doing? Cause like, I actually do like him. You know what I mean? Like maybe like less cokes in the world is a good thing. So then Sonny jumps up and down and is like thrilled. And now it's time for all the guests to leave. So Steven, the primary, he's like, hold on, hold on, I need like a second. I'm just like very emotional. I read like this great page in Joy's book today and I just was like really inspired by it and I just want to say you

guys did a great job. Like truly so what, who cares? Am I right? Like this is so well deserved. Like the family dishes, the Feasts of the seven fishes, the relationships we built. I mean, the one we said, could you please clear this plate now? I just felt like that's an eternal bond that we'll always have." I was like, bye everybody, I'm always gonna remember my first STD. And the captain was like, that's still not funny. Well, that was a very emotional goodbye, eh?

Let's get changed. I know. Oh no, it's Softy McSoftess in over there on the yacht on the dock trying to walk away in his puddle of tears with that blazer on pathetic. Am I right? So now everyone's getting changed and Dylan and the chef, the sheriff a cabin and he's like, Oh, sorry, sorry, sir. And the chef's like, no worries. Let's get naked together. Big

boy. Here we go. Now this is a show so yeah. Then Paris is like her wrist hurts so Zandi starts to like. She bandages it up and everything it's time for the tip meeting so well how that was a good shot or how good was that shot Nick welcome to the crew. You don't look a day over 63, so congratulations. It's good to see that people aren't afraid of going au naturel with a suntan lotion. So good for you. Well, look at you not afraid of sunshine. It's like you took that carpitone baby and said pull up your pants and get back inside. up your pants and get back inside. All right, we've made $23,000. Well done everybody.

And the chef's like, I couldn't get this wage at restaurants. My dad was a chief engineer and retired at 50. So when I'm 50, I just imagine myself in Nicaragua by a beach, making snacks and a little cafe and that's the dream. All right. Well, I didn't achieve that one, but maybe when I reach 50 again, damn it! I'm like, I feel like you can actually do that. So, right, like, we've seen enough house-lenders to know that it's like, Nick is a chef on

a yacht where he sexually harasses women, and now he just wants to make food on the beach here in Managua. I was gonna say is Nicaragua like a big place like what is I've never heard people like I can't wait to move to Nicaragua. Well I feel like it's beautiful I mean if there's a beach you can retire to to make snacks and stuff I've just never heard anybody say that I'm wondering what their laws are if like if he's like you can still just say the C word there. I'm moving there. I'm sure there is a House Hunters International

where there's like a Midwestern couple that like moves from Iowa down to Nicaragua and they wanna like set up a little thing on the beach there. And like, we just wanna spend our days just going beachin' during the day and selling pineapples in the afternoon. It's just like a great way of life from the hectic pace of Des Moines.

For Des Moines. This is my fantasy of House Hunters. I'm like, I'm already planning out our next dwell hello. It's completely fictional. Well, I just looked up Nicaragua. Nicaragua's beautiful. Yeah, no, it's gorgeous. Oh my God, no wonder.

How come I never hear about people going there? Oh, there's a volcano there. My college roommate was from Nicaragua, so for me, Nicaragua feels like it's part of my life. Oh my God, the water's gorgeous here. Okay, I'm going to Nicaragua. What if I become friends with Nick? Maybe he only wants to move there.

I have another 20-year-old to hang out with. His name is Nick, and he calls everybody the C word and slaps women on the ass. It's crazy. Maybe he only wants to move to Nicaragua because his name is in it. He's like, you know what? I want to move there because it's a choice

that a lot of people have had to have. Nick or Agua? Which do you choose? All right, all right, you. That's, you. Um. Um. That's enough you. Enough with the Nicaragua. I'm seeing if there's Nicaragua house hunters.

Okay, so tip meeting, we got that done. So now they're cleaning and. There is. Blah, blah, blah. I'm fast forwarding through a lot of this because I'm being ridiculous. Couple hunts for a simpler life in Nicaragua. Sorry. Who does?

It does exist. A couple.ts for a simpler life in Nicaragua. Sorry. Who does? It does exist. A couple. Two realtors in San Diego are hunting for a simpler life on Nicaragua's western coast. Unfortunately for them, they're both terrible and are going to be right out of the country. Good luck. All right. So small talk, small talk.

Dylan farts on Kyle. The captain calls Fraser, Fraser, Fraser. So he's like, I just want to catch up with you, mate. You know, it's a new environment with Nick down there. Cause now we have to remember the captain has, Fraser has personally undermined, purposely undermined the chef in front of the captain trying to prove a point, right?

He's like saying things while the captain is sitting there or he's sending Paris in there. And so the captain is seeing a lot of this go on. So he's like, all right, let's talk about Nick. And Fraser's like, well, I think I'm working with him firmly well. And the captain just stares at him like, I know this is going to continue. So do I need to wait for you to write a monologue

or are you just going to do this now? So he's like, well, I just don't want to speak too soon. But equally, I'm underwhelmed with all of the food. There's zero presentation, he's not friendly, and his approach is my way or no way. Well, it feels, to me, like you don't want to be as helpful with him as you are with Anthony. That's just how it feels. It's almost like I can see with Anthony your boner coming through your shorts, whereas with Nick, it seems like it's actually receding into your abdomen.

And Fraser's getting annoyed and he's telling us like, well, I have a chef that doesn't communicate with me and I'm at the Lucentia. Chef's the problem, not me. Fraser, how many employees is this now? You tried to get Barbie fired, you weren't allowed to. You tried to get the chef fired, that finally worked, because the chef folded.

And then last season, you were trying to get Camille Ant. Like, why don't you just say, I can't be a fucking leader and back down? I've never seen somebody try and get this many people fired. . So, yeah, I think just like whenever there's conflict or people don't listen to him, he's just like, I can't work with him.

So basically, Captain Curry sees the situation for exactly what it is, which is like, well, you haven't really given him a chance, right? And so we see clips of him like immediately coming down on the chef for putting out like a bowl of fries that's too small for Frasier, and then chocolate drama, like with the crepe and all this stuff. And Captain's like a small, like a bowl of fries that's too small for Frasier and then chocolate drama, like with the crepe and all this stuff and kept like, listen, it's gonna take him a moment

or I need to support him and let him do his food how he does it. He's like, but I am supporting him. I'm walking into the galley and saying, can we do it this way instead? That's very supportive for me. And it's like, oh, it's just a different energy I feel with you since he's got here. And Fraser is just doing that thing where he's like, I'm listening to you, and I'm biting my lips and squinting my eyes. But I don't feel welcome there. So I don't hang out there. Well, why wouldn't you be

welcome, Fraser? All you do is come in and try and boss people around and insert your fucking, your fucking authority everywhere. So we see him complaining about the french fries, complaining about the chocolate, and the captain's like, look, we just need to give him a lot of support, and the captain's like, he's not the same Fraser. I don't understand it, because the errors he was concerned about

with the last shift we don't have in this shift, he needs to shift, because we can't keep going this way. He's going to create what he doesn't want to create. A disaster. Iceberg lettuce straight ahead. So basically, it's like, listen, the guests are happy, so chill out. So the fridge is like, well, I am very grateful for your guidance. Thank you again.

Like biting his lip to be like, absolutely miserable. Yes. So now Fraser... Well, I guess what I get from the captain is we need to give him what he needs, even if what he needs is a load of whole shit. So Fraser calls us to a meeting and he's like, listen, I think you've all probably noticed that I've gained a huge amount of weight just being concerned about this. Look at me. I'm hideous. Anyway, we have a

different chef on board and I've already been naughty on speaking about my opinion. So on that note, we only have one charter left. So if we see anything coming out that looks a little bit like a canteen ladle that has just been slopped onto a plate. I don't want you to say anything else. Anything. No matter how disgusting and vile and garnished-less it appears. Do not mention garnish around this pig non-artist of a chef. All right?

I want us to be serious about how we try to change our feelings towards him, which is why I just slandered him for the past three minutes of this plea." So Paris is like, well, food is a whole other subject, but some of the other things he says, they're like unnecessary comments. And then we see that if you get chubby and some guy breaks your heart, don't come crying to me. So then he's like,

well, let's just be positive and as strong as we can for this afternoon. Group hug, everyone. Come on, you horrible cretinous hoes. And then they group hug. But I'm sorry I can't complain about sexual harassment when I've already wasted my complain card on garnished French fries and small balls. Sorry. So now it's preference sheet meeting time. Yes. So, all right, everyone. There's no turning around this day, because it's gonna be a short chatter.

Maureen and Rob, or yacht owners, in case you couldn't tell, because her name is Maureen, like literally, it's right on her name. And they are accustomed to butler service. They're bringing their kids and their friends, which also means the butlers are accustomed to butler service. They're bringing their kids and their friends, and which also means the butlers are accustomed to obnoxious service. So the daughters are college students

and they're also former dancers. Ben, get ready. So then now they're gonna go out. So everybody's changing and Ben's just like flipping his hair in slow motion for the camera. I mean, to have the confidence of a Ben, wow. Yeah. I think the best kind of confidence is the unearned kind.

I think you're just born with that. It's amazing. I wish they could bottle that. I know. He really believes he's super hot. So, Fraser, he's getting, they go out, they're doing shots and everything, and the Steven's texting him to be like,

where are you gonna go?'re doing shots and everything. And the Stevens texting him to be like, where are you going to go? They're coordinating and everything. And, um, and then the, and then Nick tells a story about how, um, he was, had a girlfriend and he bought her a Chanel bag, but then they break, they broke up. So we took the bag back. He's such a pig. Well, this is not a great story. Tell the group to like get them to know you, you know, it's like, alright, everyone, I got a girl a Chanel bag and I took it and that's how I got a Chanel bag. I mean, like, great story, weirdo.

Yeah, that's not how you endear yourself. So he's like, yeah, well, he's like, well, I do like beautiful girls. I'm a little crazy, so if they're a little crazy themselves, probably books are a little better for me. As long as I feel safe when I'm sleeping, that they're not going to strangle me." Like, oh, you know, those women, crazy and hysterical and prone to murdering. So then Sunny comes up or Ben comes up behind Sunny and starts like hugging her while she's being like from behind and massaging her. He's like, how was dinner? And she's like, okay, this is a little confusing. And so he's massaging her. He's like, how was dinner? And she's like, okay, this is a little confusing. And so he's massaging her and she's like, he's just stirring the pot. I can't wait to give him exactly what he wants

in five minutes. I know, it's so inappropriate. Like if you're gonna dump someone and then you're their boss and then you go up to them at dinner and then you are draping yourself all over. I was like, this is so rude and inappropriate. So, um, then they go to another location where there's drinking some more and they're dancing

and partying and getting wasted. Zandi gets wasted, she's like flopping all over and they're like joking that she's like a baby giraffe and everything. And then here comes Steven to go kiss Frazier. So... their conversation, Frazier's like, so thank you for coming tonight.

Ooh, this chemistry. And Stephen's like, did you find me unapproachable? He goes, I mean, I suppose so. He goes, yeah, I get that a lot. How are you unapproachable? You threw yourself at him the entire time. You're literally, you're a welcome mat. What are you fucking talking about, unapproachable? And Frazier goes, I're literally, you're a welcome mat. Fucking talking about unapproachable.

And Fraser goes, I'm literally obsessed with you. So they make out and some romantic songs going. And then we see them break apart and he's like, this is the first time in a long time that I've had a crush on someone and they've had feelings back. I can't wait to get him fired. I have a question. When you asked if you were unapproachable,

does the fact that I wasn't actually inherently interested in approaching you mean that you were unapproachable? Is that a different kind of way to deal with it? Is unpalatable the same as unapproachable? So then Ben of course goes right up and is like, yay, yay, fry'sha, which is exactly what everyone wants when someone's making out. And then there's like more slow motion drinks and,

and you know. It's like couples making out time, you know, it's like Fraser's got his guy and then we go to Barbie and Kyle and Kyle's like, or Barbie's like, you know, like I totally own it now. Like I like it, don't even like care. Like it's so good to be with Kyle. As long as like no one's making a big deal out of it I totally own it now. Like, I like it, don't even like care. Like, it's so good to be with Kyle.

As long as like, no one's making a big deal out of it. And then it just cuts to Dylan going, woo, you're making out, yes. I visualize this, yes. And then, and so they're all just like drunk. So they go back to the boat and everything. And they're like in bands being drunk, et cetera. And I think it was here on the boat,

or it was at the boat, or maybe it was at the club, where Ben is sitting next to Sunny, and he just puts his hand on her knee and then like strokes her whole leg. And I was just so grossed out. I mean, I know they've already had sex. They have like this on again, off again energy, but I just am like really repulsed by a guy that would humiliate her on TV make her seem like she's the crazy one dump her and

Then he goes the very next night and start stroking her leg like that Especially because he knows that it's gonna work because he knows that she's like damaged like she has damage some sort of damage in her Life that makes her feel like she has to do this. Like the energy I get from Sonia is not like, well, he's a fuck boy, but I'm horny, so whatever. I'll sleep with him, because I don't really care. It's like, oh my God, it's actually my fault. Like I'm kind of the toxic one here.

So it was nice that he took me back, you know? I just feel like he takes advantage of it and he's just absolutely gross for it. Yeah, she's gross too, because I can't do this whole like, oh my God, poor Sunny's just a victim who's like hurting her heart. Like Sunny, you're gross. How many times does this guy have to treat you like crap?

At this point, you deserve what you get. Have fun with that. Have fun with that. Have fun with subscribing to your Ben box where every month you get a new box of something fucking terrible and feeling hurty. Have fun with that, okay? You earned it.

Well, so on that note, he was like, so, you're gonna share with Bitch and the Light? And she's like, sure. I was like, what? After everything that you said this episode? Oh, come on, Sonny, come on. So then Kyle and Barbie are also gonna hook up and then basically everyone's fucking.

That's how we end. And, uh, Kyle, Barbie's trying to have this conversation. Uh, and Kyle, she's like, oh, my God, we are like such different people. And they're in the night vision camp, and Kyle's eyes are like crossing. He's like, yeah, very different people, and, uh, I'm vulnerable.

I'm vulnerable as fuck right now. And she's like, -"Good chat. Good chat, Kyle." -"Good chat." And that was, oh, so that was the end of Below Deck, but we have Summer House Martha's Vineyard. So, what were the highlights of this episode? Well, there was the big thing that happened

was that Nick threw a party. So, like, every episode, someone throws a party. So, this is Nick's party. I think it was called like Lux and the Bluffs, which is what they did last year was like the black tie affair and everything. So everyone, there are more people that are coming in for this and it's gonna be like a lot of college friends and a large group. Nick goes on like a 5k race and he's like really upset that like no one was like, good luck Nick. You do great Nick he just like goes up because the truth is that I feel like if someone says to me I'm gonna run a 5k today I'm like great that's to me saying like I'm

going to go to Target like a 5k is impressive but at some point like people who run 5ks have to stop expecting the same reaction to I'm running a marathon. And honestly, I don't even like supporting marathon runners. I'm just gonna say it. I find that when people run marathons, it's pretty annoying. I mean, congrats on working out. I mean, that's great. Do you get a hug every time you go to the gym? I mean, I guess that's a big one 5k. How long does that 5k? How long does that take? I think he did it in like 20 minutes, by the way. Right.

Let me see. 5k. How long does it take to run a 5k? Let's see. Well, a 5k is three miles. So people do that literally every day. People go fucking run three miles every day. Am I supposed to just pull my car over on the side of the road and be like, oh my God, my neighbor, are you doing three miles? You are amazing, congratulations,

I made you a fucking flag. I'm gonna be sitting here in a folding chair when you come back. Get the fuck over yourself, three miles, Nick. I typed in a 5K time average, because I think he had like a 19, I think his score was like 19 minutes so according to running running level calm a good 5k time is 23 minutes like I'm sorry I'm sorry I think it's if you say you're doing a 5k I'd

be like oh cool I'll see you afterwards if you want me to text you and be like good luck on your 5k I hope you do great with your 5k. And it's only a 23 minute ordeal. People spent I spent more time on my Peloton. Yeah, people work out literally every day. I do not care. But Nick has decided that today he's just going to be super offended that he's not getting support from the house. And so he goes and then he gets pissed off because nobody sent him a text and said good luck. And he's like, come on guys, a text you could have just said two words, good luck. And none of you could even do that. So he calls a house meeting by the way, cause it's his party.

So he wants to give everybody a list of shit to do. And then he's like, he opens it up by guilting them all. And they're like, okay. So basically you can tell Nick doesn't have employees because this is just not the way to motivate people. Like you gather people around, you bitch at them and make them feel like shit and then give them a list of shit to do.

No. Sorry. No. Well, but what was, he explained that the people he gathered were the people who expressed interest in helping out because Tasia was coming into town. So they're gonna clean up the whole out because Tasia was coming into town. So they're going to clean up the whole house for Tasia and get the party set up.

And before the house meeting, Bria is asking about the event, whatever. And she was like, so no one really helped me with my event. So I want to know what I have to do for your event. But just a reminder, no one helped me with my event. And we see footage of like everyone helping Bria, which was so Bria to do that. Very Bria this entire episode. She is so she's like, so I will do something for you. Just like, let me know. He's like, well, if you don't want to help, you don't have to. She's like, no, I'm going to help.

He's like, okay, well, could you tidy up the bathrooms? Just fine. And then she goes upstairs. She's all mad. He wants me to tidy up the bathrooms like I'm the maid. You can just hire someone for that. Yeah. And then she's like, I'm not going to do it. So she just decides she's not going to do it. Okay, so that's her thing. And then they end up having kind of a boring party until they did stepping later, which everybody really got into. But during the party, they were like, what the hell is this party? Yeah, everybody was kind of bored during this party. During the party, Mariah comes,

and Mariah's trying to have scenes, and people are just like, you're not on this show. I'm sorry. I know Jasmine was trying to make Mariah happen, but the laundry fight was in the first episode last year. Nobody cares Mariah, but Mariah is still trying to come make the laundry fight a thing. So she pulls Amir aside and he's like, Oh, God, do I have to have this fight? And so

she's like, Well, I didn't like that you didn't admit to the to the putting dog clothes in with the laundry. And he's like, okay, she was like, and I think you did with the laundry. And he's like, okay. She was like, and I think you did it on purpose. And he goes, what? Why would, so you think he put dog stuff in the laundry on purpose to trigger you to get you upset with Bria so that you would push Bria?

How does that make any sense? Yeah, I don't believe that there was a conspiracy behind it. I do think like a mirror should have been like, yeah, that was my bad. Like I let you guys like fight when I could have deescalated it pretty easily. Like I think it was like a little shitty of him, but it is funny that like it's now a year later

and we're still talking about this fight as I think Nick says like, you're talking about laundry. The other thing is that like summer, so last episode, summer was so angry, she knocked an Amazon box off of a console in the foyer. And so we find out that, um, she's just, uh, she's like a bad drunk basically. And she's got a lot going on right now. And then, and then it comes out that she had said that like, it's not easy being friends with Jordan and Preston.

And so now Jordan and Preston are upset because they're like, really? Did you really say that about us? And she's like, no, I just meant like, you know, we talk about like really heavy things and like, what's nice about the others is that they just have like fun times. And with you guys, it's, you know, it's heavy, which is based on like,

it's one long fucking trauma that is season is one long, this whole episode is a trauma dump. But what's so funny is that summer is like that. That's all summer. She is a trauma. Yeah. So of course she's like, your old drama is too heavy because she doesn't talk about her drama. It's like everyone else is talking about their stuff, but she hasn't gotten a chance, I guess, to talk about her stuff yet.

But Summer's trauma dumping all over the audience while complaining that she's being trauma dumped on is so funny, and it's just such a funny juxtaposition. And she just walks around the whole house going, I'm literally exhausted. You're on vacation. You've been on vacation for a week or two already. And all you're doing is saying how exhausted you are. Oh my God.

And then she's saying how like, oh, like she just, she's envious of like the light, fun times that others get to have. And now we have this party, which like you said, starts off kind of like dry, kind of like slow. But then when everyone starts like dancing, and you know, there's the the stepping and there's like the line dancing and all that it's like so many people dancing and everyone looks like they're having the best time this looks like honestly it looked like one of the most fun parties we've ever seen on Bravo like everyone

was just having the best time this great fun party and's like, I have to go, I'm gonna go to sleep. It's just too much. Like, this is the light fun that you want. Well, because everybody, the unfortunately for her, her, you know, her actions, the consequences now she has to have a talk with everybody, right? So she had to talk with Noel and Noel's like, well, I have to protect myself too, and while I understand you've got to be going

through something even though you don't want to talk about it, I have to have some distance with you. And so she's crying about that. And then she has to talk with Preston about what she said about them being too heavy, and he's like, well, you know, I don't have to be heavy. If you need me to be light, I can also have fun. I can be fun, Preston.

And she's like, okay. So she sobs again for that. And he's like, I won't go in. I'm not going to go anywhere. And he's like, I thank you for saying it. So she's sobbing. And then she goes to the next person and they make her sob. And then she goes, she can't take any kind of criticism from anybody, you know? And that's what started it. Because I think they were coming at her in kind of an unfair way when she was just like, guys, Jasmine did tell you she was inviting Mariah to the house. It's not like she blindsided you.

And then they jumped all over her like, well, sit mind your own business. But instead of just being like, okay, and like backing off, she started being like, why are they yelling at me? Why are they blablabla? Like she started getting so,

taking everything so personally. And now that she's reacted in this way, now everybody's telling her something and she's just, she can't take it. She can't take any kind of criticism and now she's gonna get it from every person in the house and she just has to stand there and take it. Oh, it sucks. It sucks for her.

Well, the other person who's quite fragile is Amir's girlfriend. What's her name again? Well, she's crazy as hell, that girl. At one point. Is it Monica? No. No, but at one point there's a girl at the party who's wearing a dress that looks similar

to Jordan's and she has a wig on that looks similar to Jordan's. So then Amir's like, oh, is that Jordan? Oh no, it's not Jordan. And then immediately the girlfriend gets mad. I don't know if it was even a wig, but she had long hair that looked like Jordan. Oh, I thought they said, I thought they said it was a wig. Either way, she had the same hair and so then the girlfriend starts getting mad and he's like, what, something wrong? No, I can tell something's wrong. No. Can you just say it? No, I'm fine. Come on, I know you're mad. Just like you said, like, is that Jordan?

He's like, yeah, because there's a girl who I thought was Jordan. It's like, she can't, Amir's not even allowed to mention Jordan's name in her presence. The girl's a nutcase. She is a nut. And then she's also a huge drama. It's gossip.

She's a big gossip. She keeps running and tattletaling on everybody. She's like, well, guess what I heard? I heard. She's a big gossip. She keeps running and tattletaling on everybody. She's like, well, guess what I heard? I heard, because she's the one who tattletaled on... Summer. ...whom we were just talking about. Summer, yeah.

She's like, well, I heard Summer saying that you're really... She doesn't like being in a relationship with you guys because it's too hard. And they're like, what? And then she runs... She's just running around tattletaling literally on everybody starting fights. Everyone, she's like, okay, I have the tea. I have the tea. Which was kind of funny. Maybe kind of enjoy her more because she's so messy.

So we have this whole big party. And there's actually like a very emotional part of it because Nick talks about his like, his friend, his paternity brother who died. Tasia also showed up. She showed up. She showed up while they were cleaning. I was like, great planning. Because the house was supposed to well, I thought the house was supposed to be clean for Tasia, but I guess it was clean

for the party. But I was actually delighted that Alex did not sing, although it would have been funny to her and be like, music collective. And then the other thing that happened is so Simon of course gets wasted at this party he gets really really wasted and he decides it'll be hilarious to put on this like inflatable flamingo costume where like it looks like he's riding a flamingo so he puts it on and he brings it downstairs and Bria is mortified, justifiably so because even though people are having fun and people are drunk and being silly, it's not a, this is not a inflatable flamingo party. So she just becomes livid at him.

Yeah. Cause he won't take it off. She's like, Oh my God, there's a time and a place. Simon, take it off. He's like, what a time and a place for flamingos now. Flamingo party. And he's like dancing around and like chugging drinks and Nick's like, oh my god, what does he do? Everyone's like mortified, you know? Yeah. And he's like trying to kind of get the attention and it's like really not an event for him. And it feels like it's very specifically, you know, this, it feels very much like this is about like, you know, black fraternity, black sorority culture right now in this moment. And he's trying to be like, but look at me. I'm wacky. I'm wacky flamingo. And everyone's like, no, wrong time for this one, buddy. And then we see a montage. And she's like, I'm breaking up with you. This relationship's over. It's like, okay, the relationship is over because I'm a flamingo. That was the part that made me laugh the most,

because I'm flamingo. And then we see like a flashback of actually like Simon just being awful so many times. There was like one shot of him on the kitchen island doing like a Michael Jackson dance, like during like a relatively chill moment. And then last year at the same party, he jumped into the pool.

So Bria, uh, Bria... I hope Bria breaks up with him, because he's pretty awful. Yeah, he's gross. Um... And what else happened? I mean, basically, it's like a very long... It's basically watching Summer spiral

is kind of the through line in this. It's watching Summer just lose it more and more. And I feel bad for her because she's a mess. I mean, this girl's a mess. I don't know if it has to do with the drinking or what's going on with her, but she's... I have to say, I want to say something that's not about Summer. Phil shows up, Phil comes to the party and Phil towers over everyone. He's like really tall. And I feel like this is the first time we've seen on Bravo where tall privilege does not kick in.

He cannot get his tall privilege to work for him, right? Girls are not hanging off of him. No one seems to want to talk to him. No one wants to be around him. I'm like, but he's a tall male on Bravo. What's happening here? Like, you've got to... You have to have some serious some serious like existential questions for yourself

if you can't even utilize your tall privilege. Yeah, and he's also just like, he shows up really underdressed, everybody else's family. Yeah, of course. He's like, what, I'm supposed to be dressed? And then he's like, oh, this is Nick's party. I guess I want shit in his toilet. And he's just, you know, people are like, no, no,

thank you, sir. I feel bad about making fun of Nick, but it's not that his friend passed away. It's just like, so this show, I was like, can we have a moment that's not infused with somebody dying? Being like, it's just really leaned into it on this one. But overall, still a pretty fun show

and I think that we got everything that happened on there. I think we kind of did get everything. I mean, it's a fun show. It's just been like a little rudderless, I feel like, the past few episodes. I love the cast. I love like, I like the idea of watching it. Like it's fun. I feel like I'm stepping into like a really fun summer house, like an actual summer

house. And I feel like I'm like watching friends and it's like, like, oh, that's funny. Oh, that was funny too. But in terms of like, you know, like sometimes it's a little, it's like, it's not always compelling, but I really like this cast. Well, they get rid of all the... They get rid of the fighting people. They don't have any villains. You know, they get rid of the villains, yeah. So that kills it.

Yep. But whatever, it's enjoyable enough. And that was our little check-in to it. We wasn't really enough to do like a full recap, but you know, we don't want to leave it out in the cold. So thanks, everyone everyone for listening and we will be back with more recaps all week long. Catch you next one on the next one. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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