Watch What Crappens - #2418 PumpRules, Part 2: You In Danger Girl!
Episode Date: May 8, 2024*This is part 2*Vanderpump Rules (S11E15) is done for the season… and maybe forever? Or maybe it’s just the end for Ariana? We have so many questions! What an awkward way to c...elebrate Kyle Chan. Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop.
Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time
and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea?
Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when there's so much that happens? Ellie and Schwartz and Joe were talking and Ellie has this to say. It feels like New Year's, but it's not. Well, so congratulations.
Calendar Insights, a new podcast by Ellie. It feels like Easter, but it's not Easter.
Thank you for listening.
Whoa, Ellie, you look so fabulous. Joseph, you look fabulous, too. Joseph, do you feel good?
She's like, um, yeah, it was like pre-concussion.
I just saw the future.
I saw that in your birth chart.
So she's like, yeah, and see, Manny, you look fabulous.
You look really good.
You look so good.
You look good enough to eat.
Not that I would do that,
because we're not dating and also I don't eat humans,
because I'm not sick.
Well, maybe I am.
Would I eat you?
Does anyone have any ketchup I'm just
kidding come your arm just kidding I was really good oh that was really that was
really scary anyway I'm so glad you came Joseph hey why don't you come over to
the lion's den okay don't you want to be humiliated on TV it'll be fun she's like
oh no I don't really like negative energy I think I have to have a concussion to enjoy that. Wait hold on one second. All right I'm concussed let's do it.
Come on negative wait wait hold on dot dot dot can we have a cutaway please? She's like cut to Katie like
Yeah don't worry they're not negative. Oh well I mean a little bit negative. I mean sometimes
negative. Well I mean but if you don't have negatives,
you wouldn't be able to take good pictures, right?
So come on, let's do it.
Oh, all right.
Okay.
So Joe is like, I just...
Joe is like Ronnie watching this episode.
I just really want this to be over.
I'm like, I'm hoping that if I can say I'm sorry,
she'll say sorry back.
And like, I don't know, by the way, something you should never hope from Katie, that if I'm sorry, she'll say sorry back. And like, I don't know, by the way, something you should never hope from Katie,
that if I say sorry, she'll say sorry back.
She must have had her concussion already.
She goes, I don't know if she hates me because of Schwartz.
The answer is yes. We don't have to finish the sentence and my connection,
but like he could date a tree and she chop it down. So like, good luck.
Next woman or tree or woman tree or the
grandmother from into the woods who appears as a tree. Good luck.
Oh my God. Well, this is another thing. Like I was talking about there, the Ariana and
Tom situation. Like, why are you guys forcing it? Why are you making Joe fly all the way
to San Francisco to get yelled at by Katie. Like this was never happened. Tom broke up with her. It doesn't even make any sense. Like Joe isn't a part of this friend
group. I don't understand what they're doing. I mean, if, if they're making Joe a permanent
part of the cast or whatever, maybe, but I don't really understand. It just doesn't
make any sense.
It was cruel. So Brad is sitting with Katie. Brad is like one of the gays. And he's sitting with Katie and is watching us.
Schwartz and Joe are approaching and Brad goes,
here comes my favorite cracked out person. I'm like, you're cracked out.
You're dressed like an egg yolk. This is a black tie party.
And you're wearing all yellow and you're gonna keep someone else up looking like a cracked out person.
You literally look like a cracked out person.
Yeah, you're just like a gay following orders and I don't like that.
I don't like seeing order following gays on these shows.
I'm so sick of it, you know?
And not just this one, but all of Bravo shows.
It seems like Bravo's like, you know what we need?
Some order following gays.
Let's get us five gays who just follow orders
of straight people.
That's all I wanna see on my channel, damn it!
Like, where are our independent gays?
Where are our reza gays, okay?
Where are our Reza Queen gays
who do not take orders from anybody, okay?
From watching this, you'd think gays are just a bunch
of fucking muppets with bleach blonde hair, okay?
I'm sick of it.
Stop following orders, gays.
We're better than this.
Not you, though.
All the gays that are independent,
throw your hands up at me.
Okay, so, yeah, he's like grass, You're independent. Throw your hands up at me. Okay.
So, yeah, he's like, Grouse, crackhead. So then Joe comes over and Schwartz is like,
whoa, you guys, you know Joe, yay, it's Joe.
Look out, Joe, everybody.
Joe's like, I'm leaving.
Yeah, they're just like, so Schwartz just forces Joe into this confrontation and Joe's like,
well, um, Katie, I'm sorry.
Um, well, I just wanted to say like, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you.
And Katie of course goes, sorry, if, sorry, if, and I have to say I'm a little over the
semantics policing of sorry if versus sorry that
honestly,
it was something that like we used to make a big deal about like sorry if it's a
conditional apology, fuck you, it should just be an apology.
But at this point I'm actually over it. I think we as humans,
it's time for us to accept that when someone says,
if I did this and upset you that I'm really sorry. That it's like, it's an apology.
It's not like someone saying, if I did this,
but if I didn't do it, then I'm not sorry.
I think it's time for people to like finally-
I reject that.
Well, if that offended you, Ronnie, then I'm sorry.
But I just think it gives-
This is how I reject it.
I'm sorry I reject that and this is why I'm rejecting that. That's
how you need to apologize.
I agree that's a better apology. It is not invalidated.
This is 2024. We have literally been trained. We have been trained for years now how to
apologize properly. You have to list shit you are sorry for. You have to be like, I'm
sorry that I did not consider your feelings when hooking up with Schwartz. I was so in love with Schwartz and infatuated.
We became friends, then we became lovers.
I became so infatuated with him.
I didn't care about anyone's feelings but my own
and you got hurt in the crossfire.
I'm not really expecting anything from you,
but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry
because I carry it around all the time
and I really truly am sorry.
That's how you apologize.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
What the fuck does that mean?
You better get, I have recedes.
Well, it's nice to see you taking Katie's side.
I think that the reason why I have an issue,
I think sorry that is a better apology,
but sorry if it just opens the door for an actual apology,
and a moment of like trying to connect
with someone with an apology to get derailed in semantics.
Because instead of it being like, I'm trying to express that I have remorse about a situation. And like if, you know,
and if the person says if instead of that, and then all of a sudden we have a discussion about
if versus that, and just as this happened literally right now in this moment, then it gets
derailed. It becomes a topic about something else and not about the apology. So I'm just,
but those aren't different things.'m just sick of having to watch people
like these moments that could have been like
an apology moment where there could be progress
and it gets derailed because someone goes,
if, if, what about that?
That's not how you apologize.
And then you're like, okay,
now it's a conversation about how you apologize.
Oh yeah, cause it is, you know, how you hurt me.
It's not like, I'm sorry if I hurt you,
like whatever, just get over it. I'm sorry you're hurt by the nothing that it is, you know, how you hurt me. It's not like, I'm sorry if I hurt you. Like, whatever, just get over it.
I'm sorry you're hurt by the nothing that I did.
You know, like, I need a fucking list,
and I need you to write it down in an email
so I can forward it to everybody I know.
I need the lawyers to have it.
I need everybody to know.
Especially on Bravo, because I feel like really,
especially on Vanderpump Rules,
because look how many versions of people come out.
It's like, look at Jax, the king of the I'm sorrys.
Like every year he has a new version of Jax that he is.
I mean, he's still doing it on the Valley.
Like, I mean, like, I'm sorry, but I'm changing.
I'm different.
I'm working on myself.
He literally says that this week.
I'm working on myself though.
I'm trying to change.
Of course.
He's still saying that all these years later.
Yeah, classic. Yeah, I don't know. And I also have to say, we're arguing right now about this,
just because it's fun and like frankly, I'm bored. But I have to say, Ben, you are such a good person
and such a good friend and you do not apologize with a sorry if. If there is, and first of all,
you very rarely ever owed me an apology, but whenever you've given one, it has never been a like, sorry if you're upset, Ronnie. It's never been like that.
You are very good at being like, I'm sorry that this, this, and this hurt your feelings. I see
that it did. And this is what I was thinking. And I've never met a better communicator than you.
So I'm surprised that you're sticking up for the story. Yes. You know why? You know, well, first of all, thank you. Um, but, um,
you're also a good apologizer, but again,
we don't really ever have to apologize to each other that much. So, but I,
but what I, I think there is a difference.
I do think there's a difference between saying like,
I'm sorry if you feel sad. Um, That is, that feels insincere to me.
But if someone, if you're saying something
from the tone of like, I think there's like an implication
in a tone of saying like, I didn't even realize
what I was doing was offending you.
And like, if it did offend you,
well then absolutely I'm totally sorry.
Like if it didn't, then like, then I guess like
we don't have anything to apologize for because everything is good. But like, didn't, then like, then, then I guess like we don't have to anything to apologize for it because everything is good.
But like if what I did like hurt you, then, oh my goodness, I feel terrible about that.
I didn't even think about that.
So I just feel like it's just a subtlety.
I think the, where you put the, if in the sentence can have a totally different tone.
I do think saying that I apologize that I did this is like a better apology and it's
stronger and it really
it presents more accountability. But I just think that like the moment it's become such
a thing that the moment that someone says if when you can tell that they're genuinely
trying to really apologize, it just is one of those things where then it becomes an argument
about tone and semantics as opposed to like what the substance
of what someone's trying to say.
And as we know, this conversation between Joe and Katie
was gonna be very, very substantial.
So I'm really glad that I really talked the entire podcast
to discuss the semantics of this.
No, it's okay.
I don't like the semantics.
I'm sorry if that upset the audience.
I like talking about stuff like that. But here's the reason that this kind of bugged me with Katie getting all defensive about
it is because I really wanna know what really happened here because we don't really know.
And I don't know how much is just Katie's feelings because from what we've seen, the
evidence has been Katie showing us a text that said, Joe saying, Katie, I'm so sorry,
you're such a queen, I'm so sorry
you're such a queen, I'm sorry about your relationship, please call me if you ever need
to. And then we saw that Katie never even wrote her back a thank you or anything like
that.
And then we see another text where Katie writes back finally and says, girl, what's up with
you? One minute you wanna say sorry and the next minute you wanna cut his hair or whatever
she did, like you want a hair model or whatever the text is, I don't have it in front of me.
But it looked like to me that Joe was trying to be Katie's friend and Katie was like, fuck
this weirdo and then told off Joe. So to me, it looked like this girl doesn't really owe
you that much anyway. That's the initial vibe. So I'm just curious to see what this was.
So I hope it all gets out on the table in this conversation.
Well, so, I mean, also it's like, was Joe,
like we don't really understand truly the connection
of Katie and Joe as friends.
So like Katie is acting as if it were, you know,
Kristin or Stassi or someone who had betrayed her,
but like Joe, we never even heard about Joe
until last season. So- Joe was supposedly, from what I've heard,
and this is from, listen, this is like
the Marvel Extended Universe of 18 million podcasts,
nine after shows, multiple, like, there's so many things
to keep up with, but from what I've read on Reddit,
my favorite, is that Joe was one of Kristin's friends and she kind of
warmed her way into the group that way. And then when she was dating, when Katie and Tom
broke up, she kind of jumped on that and started hooking up with Tom and then completely ghosted
Kristin. Now that's according to Kristin, who knows because Kristen is Kristen,
but that's what I read on the internet.
Yeah. Thank you.
All I can go off of right now are vibes
and I just feel like Joe, I don't know what's,
I think that Joe was trying to be,
it seems like Joe was trying to be like sympathetic
or nice to Katie, but didn't really seem like they had much of like a friendship or whatever.
And whatever. So anyway, she's basically like,
Joe got onto this show from dating Tom Schwartz.
They're trying to make Joe a thing. They're not letting her be a thing,
which I don't know that I can really blame them.
They're always a little like that with new people anyway,
much less controversial ones like this. And
it's just awkward. And so they're kind of throwing her into the lion's den and just
being like, we'll go over there and have a confrontation. We need something to happen.
And it's just, I don't know that this person is really prepared for that. You know, Joe
is not ready. I think Joe was, it's just like putting a baby on a freeway.
I think Joe was anticipating that she'd be talking
to like, you know, a chill person.
And so she's like, I'm sorry,
like I'm sorry if I ever hurt you.
And Katie does the sorry if, and Jo goes, yeah.
And Katie goes, it's not a sorry if, it's just a sorry.
So Jo goes, okay, I'm really sorry.
Katie goes, it's weird, you're weird.
I was like, whoa, that's like,
Katie's being so mean right now.
And Lali goes, don't say that, okay.
So, and Katie goes, all right, it is what it is.
It is what it is.
Joe goes, well, do you feel like you owe me an apology?
Katie goes, no.
Come on, you have to admit you laughed at that shit.
I started cracking up at that part.
I was like, Joe, it's like, Joe, no, turn back, Joe.
You're really going to go up to Katie and ask for an apology. Oh my God, girl, no. So
she's like, yeah, but like I sent you like a genuine text about the divorce Katie. I
mean, it was genuine. It was a text. It was a genuine text. Like there weren't even any
emojis in it. Yeah. She's like, I literally used some data
on you. Okay. He goes, yeah. And then something grew there. And then you asked, then you asked
like, do I stay with him or whatever? And like, can I stay with him? And Joe's like, that's not
how it happened. You know, the way that you moved, it's like you were texting him like, you're texting
and saying like, oh, I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna go move with him now So it was like weird sign loops
But she never moved in with me. She never technically moved in with what are you guys talking about?
She didn't move in with me
Well, it was like it doesn't matter you guys still stayed together and had sex and then you're texting Katie
Like I'm so sorry about your divorce and she was no no that was like months
There were like months between all of these things that were happening and I just,
I wish I had a space to explain that
because like, I mean, that's what I feel bad about.
Okay, well, this is what I wanted to know
because they're making it sound like she was like,
Katie, I'm so sorry about your divorce
either while she was fucking Tom
or while she was trying to jump on Tom and fuck him.
But Joe is saying that there were months between that happening and then her befriending and then eventually sleeping
with Tom. So that's what I wanted to know, but it never really gets there.
Katie is like, well, I feel like you've always had it for him and you were waiting for your
moment. And I was like, I don't believe stats. So Ariana's just like watching and she's like,
she's just confused.
Like why is Schwartz bringing this girl around Katie?
Like, cause it doesn't make any sense.
Like this is not a confrontation that needed to be had.
And there's just Schwartz, Schwartz just getting off,
I think on these two women fighting over him.
I think we're just watching Jeremiah tap dancing
cause we see producer Jeremiah later,
who's trying to force the Tom and Ariana scene
because he's supposed to.
He's supposed to make the season finale happen.
And basically their idea to make the season finale happen
is to throw chum at these girls
and watch the girls yell at the guys.
It's supposed to be like the big girls,
the girls get revenge on the guys by letting them have it,
but then everybody forgives each other and we all move on.
But it's just like, they're not playing this game. They're like, why the
fuck should we have to do this? I shouldn't have to shoot with this chick and I shouldn't
have to shoot with my ex. Find something else to do. Yeah. So, um, Katie's like, next time,
when you want to love and support someone going through a divorce, don't move in with her ex
husband. And Joe's like, I didn't move in. We just had sex. Katie's like, fine.
Don't stay with him for two weeks.
How is couch surfing?
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Just don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't surf on a couch.
Don't you know why you're getting concussions?
You're setting that couch up and falling off.
Don't fucking do it.
Stay with someone else.
Stay with someone else.
Literally go anywhere else, Joe.
And then Joe's like, no, just let him go.
And then this part I was like, okay, good for you.
Fucking finally.
So Joe, Joe grew some, you know?
I was like, fuck off.
Like, no, you don't get to just, I mean, this was weird.
Cause I had multiple feelings.
Cause at one, I'm like, finally, she just stood up
for herself and was like, you don't get to call dibs
on a man forever.
You're the one who dumped him, you know?
But then seeing how hurt Katie was, I was like, you see, this is like, you don't get to call dibs on a man forever. You're the one who dumped him, you know? But then seeing how hurt Katie was,
I was like, you see, this is like, you want it,
it's like you leave somebody
and you finally get it up to leave them,
but you still want that guy to turn around
and be like, okay, I learned something.
And it's like a whole different chapter of hurt
when the guy is like, okay,
now I'm fucking Kristen's friend, the hairdresser, you know?
Right.
So Katie is like, Joe, you're a fucking liar.
And Schwartz is like, she's not a liar.
And now at this point, Joe's crying.
She's like way out of her depths, you know?
And Lala's like, no, don't worry, don't cry.
You're fine, you're fine, you're fine.
Lala is basically like in the corner of like the boxing,
where you're like giving Joe some water,
like patting down her face, tending to her wounds,
like get back in there, come on, you got another round, she can do this,
she can do this, you're not knocked out yet,
come on, come on.
Yeah, Lola is like, come on, I'm the only one left
to make an ass out of myself at this reunion
and I can't carry the whole things, okay?
Or this finale.
So Schwartz is like, yeah, Katie, come on,
he's up a little, Katie.
And she's like, hey, before you think this is weird,
I'm gonna stay with your ex-husband who you're not divorced yet from, are you probably entangling your fucking life from,
and this is probably a difficult time for you. Well, you know what? You should have texted her
back. That's what I say. Because if you had texted her back and been like, thanks, Joe,
that's such a sweet text. But when you didn't text her back, I think she was like, well, I tried.
Bye. Now I'm going to go fuck Tom.
didn't text her back. I think she was like, well, I tried. Bye. Now I'm going to go fuck Tom. Yeah. I mean, I understand why Katie's annoyed. I fully get it. But like, I think
also, like, it's time to move on from this. Okay. So Joe is like, well, I wasn't thinking
about you. I was thinking about myself because as a woman, you should have thought about
me as, as, as tenuous friends as we were. And so Schwartz was like.
I was gonna say, I don't think she even has to move on.
I think if you don't like someone
that your ex is fucking, that's your right.
She's just not friends with Joe.
I just don't understand what this show is doing,
trying to make this scene even happen.
Like, this just would never happen.
You would never go confront the ex
of the guy that just dumped you.
It's a bizarre setup for the first place. Yeah.
Short's like, she just came over to make peace, not to confront.
I'm like, you came over to confront actually.
And Katie's like, I don't want peace.
Well, you know, you can't argue with her on that.
She's like, I don't want peace.
So you can't be upset with Katie.
She literally is
achieving all of her roles, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't even know this person. So Joe leaves
crying, you know, as we all knew she would. And so Schwartz is a car. She just wanted to chat. She
feels really uncomfortable. Now I'm going to have to go break up with her again. So she's got
something else to cry about and doesn't have something unsolvable to cry about like your rage
Katie. And she's like, I don't give a shit about how she feels. Her feelings are none of my business.
She's like, Oh, God, Katie. She's like, I told you this. You want to be my friend and keep it away
from me. I just, I don't like ultimatums or quid pro quos Clarice. I don't know, I was about to say. Oh, the silence of the shorts.
But Katie's like, she's like, I didn't give you an ultimatum.
I just said keep her away from me.
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I love a good parasocial relationship
with a celebrity who will probably never know my name.
I mean, honestly, who knows?
Don't count yourself out.
But my favorite part about these feuds
is how they're ignited by the tiniest things.
Jada, I love you.
G-I Jane too.
Can't wait to see it.
I accidentally laminated my brows too much.
It starts small, and then it gets so big.
Hey, honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day.
I don't know her.
We all just have to admit, we're addicted.
Everybody has opinions.
Everyone picks sides.
Leave Britney Spears alone right now.
From Wondry, I'm Sydney Battle.
And I'm Matt Bellassai.
And this is Dis & Tell.
Where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds
and whether or not our attention
only makes the whole thing worse.
Follow Diss and Tell wherever you get your podcasts.
It's kind of funny because I was like, Katie was being so mean to Joe, but then at the
end I'm kind of like, I mean, that's a pretty simple request that she made.
Yeah.
Why does she have to like sit down and have lunch with Joe?
It's so weird. Katie and Oriana being both confronted with their exes. I mean, I don't like the whole sending your entire fandom
after the girl and being like, she's a crackhead
and all that stuff.
You know, Katie does have moves that kind of suck,
but as far as the hanging out with Joe,
what does she have to sit and have a powwow
and forgive Joe and have a big,
she doesn't even know Joe.
She barely knows this girl.
It's weird.
It just is more about Schwartz
and not being comfortable with her.
I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's to sit and have a powwow and forgive Joe and have a big cov... She doesn't even know Joe.
She barely knows this girl.
It's weird.
It just is more about Schwartz
and not being comfortable being amongst conflict.
He just wants everyone to get along.
So he can film with everyone.
Or he just wants them to fight, actually, and he can drive.
I think he just wants to enrage Katie
and have women fighting over him.
He wants to have either total peace or total chaos.
It's one or total chaos.
He's one or the other.
So, Sandoval is not doing it.
You only bring Joe around Katie to start shit,
especially after you've already broken up with Joe.
Like there's only one reason you're bringing her here.
Yeah.
Trigger to trigger Katie.
Katie chum!
Yep.
Chug week.
So Sandoval is talking to Sheena and Lala and Lala's saying, she's again like, we had
the best food today for lunch.
Oh, I wish, like I think that like in all the years of shooting Phantom of Rulers, I
think the House of Nanking was the best food we've ever eaten in our lives.
Wasn't it great, Sandoval?
Oh, sorry, you weren't there.
Sorry.
There's really rubbing salt in the in
his house of nam king wounds and sandival's like bro brock i just wanted to say that shorts told
me you stood up for me today i turned my light pink that's the grateful color so i really
appreciate that bro and he's like well we're're in the middle. We're not Switzerland. We're friends with both of you guys
Love your PayPal huge fans of that
He's like thanks, bro
Just yeah
Well, what we need to see from you is to step up and be here for your friend. Shut up Brock
But just be quiet since she knows like yeah, I understand what he did to Ariana was terrible
I just wish that they you know, like and I just wish it wasn't so black and white
so she could see how much I'm struggling.
I'm like, I'm just trying to be loyal to her.
It's like, it's so hard and I don't wanna lose her,
but I feel like I'm losing myself.
Literally don't understand
how she was losing herself in this.
So, so now they're having cocktails, more cocktails,
and Schwartz is talking to Dan. He's like,
hey, by the way, nice meeting you, dude. It was like, really nice chilling with you earlier
today. Are you guys going to do something afterwards? You're not mad at me about making
that trash comment at lunch today. Really, please don't beat me up. And Ariana's like,
I think after this, we're going to go to Applebee's. I mean, I'm all about the Applebee's life
right now. And like, yeah.
And then Sandoval comes over and Dan just is like,
Dan's just like giving him the evil eye.
Like, don't you dare come over here.
But he does, of course.
And Ariana's like, oh my God, this is not happening.
He's like, oh, I was looking for you.
Hey, hey, it's me, television star Sandoval.
So, hey guys. And they're just ignoring him. He's like, Dan. Hey, hey, it's me, television's Tom Sandibow. So, hey guys."
And they're just ignoring him. He's like,
Dan, Dan, hey, Dan, just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Tom, penis loop, shorts his mom,
you know, so I need to list my hits. Hey, Dan, I got you this lightning bolt necklace. Pretty cool.
The person who originally had it doesn't want it anymore. So Tom puts out his hand to shake it,
shake Dan's hand and Dan does not receive it. So then Tom essentially does the equivalent of
putting his hand into his hair. He tries to seem like he wasn't doing a handshake, whatever. And
he's like, yeah, man, I heard you're a great guy and I just want to say what's up and wish
you guys the best of luck. So Dan's like. He's like, appreciate that. Yeah, appreciate that.
Okay.
Appreciate that.
Won't share any tips about CO2 and beer for you.
Hope you get bloated, motherfucker.
So, Sam the Volt.
So what did you say?
What did you say to him?
What did you say to him?
Isn't he handsome?
He has such long hair.
He has such big arms.
What did you say to him?
I'm such a boy.
I just said.
I just said.
Please.
Please. Please.
Sorry for interrupting you, Ben.
I'm sorry if I interrupted you, Ben.
I just said, nice to meet you, dude.
And Ali's like, I'm not gonna lie, I got very nervous.
Yeah, I feel like we need to leave now.
So yeah, and Ariana's, Ali's like, wow, like Arianna, you just like looked down
when he came over and she's like,
yeah, I was talking to Logan
because Logan's a Beyonce right now.
Which is so funny,
because I remember when they were fighting,
when she found out and they were,
the last season finale when she was going off on him
and he was, you know, excusing himself
for everything that happened and somehow blaming her.
Like, you never spend time with me.
All you do is hang out with your gay guys
and talk about Beyonce.
And so this one, she's ignoring him
while she's texting her gay guy about Beyonce.
And I was like, oh, it's just delicious, isn't it?
And probably actively getting an offer
to make a guest appearance on Love Island too.
The other thing that she does with her gays. actively getting an offer to make a guest appearance on Love Island to the
other thing that she does with her gaze. So, um, uh, so,
yeah, it's true.
I was like, I feel like that, that moment had to happen. Ariana was like, um,
it doesn't have to happen at all. He's not in my life at all.
And she tells us I'm not here as a cog in the machine of Tom
Sandoval's redemption arc.
So you guys can do that without me. So, um,
this was beautifully said and I'm glad she said that.
And I hope that every hater out there just hears that line.
Cause that's really the whole point in this whole thing. It's like, you guys,
if you want to make Tom Sandoval happen, go ahead.
Stop fucking calling me about it. Yeah, exactly. It must've been,
this must've been an absolutely
hellacious season for her to shoot,
having him shoved in her face scene after scene.
So, um...
Schwartz goes up to Sandoval, he's like,
you know, by the way, I know you wanted to talk to Ariana,
but I don't think now is a good time.
There's this really awkward moment
at the house of Nanking today.
Oh, God, that food was so good! Oh, sorry, sorry, but just don't think now is a good time. There's this really awkward moment at the house of Nanking today. Oh god, that food was so good
I'm sorry. Sorry, but I just don't talk to her. Don't talk to her. He's like, okay. All right. All right
All right. All right. So now it's time for Sheena to get ready to do her singing
I nearly forgot that she was doing a performance on this episode. So now she changes into her good as gold look and
Kyle gets on stage and he's like, are you guys all having a good time
with my best friends?
The cast of Bantamub rules everyone.
Woo, just one of the bros.
Guess what?
Here's somebody else who follows me on Instagram.
You guys should follow her.
Her name is Sheena Shay, and she has a song that
people have probably heard called Good As Gold. And she's like, Hi. Oh my god, everyone
looks good as gold tonight. Wink.
Which I will not be singing. So Santa Vol says some bullshit about how he was like, you know
what, like at first,
I really wasn't so crazy about the song Apples,
but it's really growing on me.
And like, I don't know, I'm like really stoked to see
Sheena really pushing her music and like, it's cool that like,
I'm kind of the star of her music now.
So yeah, I like it.
So now we have Sheena singing.
Hi, baby, how are you?
How you like them?
Apples, apples, apples, apples.
Yeah, I feel like I'm falling back in love with music
because I was performing.
This really means so much to me.
And Tom's really stepped up and he helped us out
when he didn't have to.
Like before, we were just gonna do this into paper cups
that we cut the bottoms out of to use as microphones.
But he brought us an audio person and he didn't have to
and he didn't even tell us he was doing that.
It's crazy.
Hopefully he continues down this path
of bringing me sound engineers
when I wasn't expecting them.
He's changing.
He's so different now.
So Ariana goes, like after the performance,
Ariana goes over to hug Sheena and is like,
oh my god, you killed it.
And there's like, like they're toasting, cheers.
And she's like, yeah.
Hey, do you know who Hasan is?
And Ariana's like, no.
It's Sandoval's sound guy or whatever.
Ariana's like, mmm, nope.
Yeah, well, so Sandoval like flew out this like sound operator person to get like all
the equipment and like maybe like fool me once.
I don't know or twice.
I don't know.
But like I think I'm seeing like this genuine like hiring sound guy side of Sandoval to
him that like I just feel like when I met Sandoval 15 years ago, I was like, this is
the sort of guy that would just like hire a sound guy for you if you're ever playing
on a private island in San Francisco.
And like it kind of happened.
So like, I don't know, like, I don't know.
I think it like, maybe like he's having like,
he's like changing or something.
Oh my God, fuck off.
And Ariana's eyes just say it all.
She's like, I will kill you right now.
Like just shut up.
Yeah, and I'm hoping he's changing,
he's becoming a better person.
Like, I just want to test it out.
Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna take him to that like Frank,
that Frank Sinatra karaoke club
and just see if he suggests anybody hand me the mic.
So Ariana's like, it's just the same thing over with Sheena.
And I don't know why she thinks somehow she knows this man better than I do.
But all right, girl, happy for you.
Dare I say, you in danger, girl.
So Sheena's like, I just want to like continue to see if he's like
on a path of like growth and like if maybe he'll hire a sound engineer for like you or like maybe
for like Brock or like maybe for Lala I don't know like I feel like there's like so many sound
engineers and like we all deserve them right and like maybe he's the one to do that for us
so can I ask you a favor like I, he's my ex-boyfriend.
I don't care about his past.
And like, he's got a path of growth
and I just hope he grows far away from me
and I hope he dies in a fire.
And like, I just don't need to hear about it.
You know what I mean?
He does not deserve to be in my presence
or read the same air as me.
And that's not gonna change.
She's like, I know, but like, here's the thing. Like, I wrote a song about apples,
and he's got an iPhone, which is also an apple.
And it's like a sign from above
that like we're supposed to be friends again,
because like one time I was hungry,
but he didn't even know it,
and he offered me a piece of cake,
which is not an apple,
and I wasn't eating cake at the time,
but I did eat it, but I was thinking about apples.
So we're kind of best friends now.
Do you know what I mean? Do I have your approval? cake at the time, but I did eat it. But I was thinking about apples. So we're kind of best friends now.
Do you know what I mean?
Do I have your approval?
Honestly, just please don't talk to me
about a path of growth, okay?
Cause I already have a path of growth.
It's called a stye that's coming in right now.
Okay. So I'm focused on that if you don't mind.
So then she was like, yeah, but like,
I know it's like hard cause you say like no contact,
but I also feel like you want like different apologies from him. She's like, no, but like, I know it's like hard because you say like no contact, but I also feel like you want like different apologies from him.
She's like, no, no, I don't want him to ever speak to me again.
I don't want apologies.
Yeah, but like, remember when you said, oh, I apologize for things, you know, I said I
might apologize and you said, well, well, am I ever going to get an apology too?
It's like, yeah, but I don't want him to apologize.
Just it, I just think it just is like beyond him.
That's all I'm saying. Yeah, but like, I just feel like last night, I just, I don't want him to apologize. I just think it's beyond him. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, but I just feel like last night, I just don't want an apology. Yeah, but there was
a sound operator. But I'm making him apologize. She had five minutes. So she's like, do not
bring him over here, basically is the subtext of this. And she's like, yeah, but I don't
want to ever lose you or compromise our friendship. and I'm always going to have your back.
I just feel like I can't run him off forever.
He brought me a sound guy.
And Ariana's like, listen, I want him literally never to speak to me, but just because it
doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving you, okay?
We're not going to be connected anymore.
So they hug.
And Ariana's like, she's like, look, she tells us, I'm going to protect myself and I'm going
to keep myself out of situations that I find hurtful or comfortable.
But I never once said that I don't love her or I'm going to stop loving her or we're not
going to be connected anymore.
And then they show a montage of all the times Ariana said, I will not have mutual friends
with him.
Yeah, if someone wants to be friends with him, they're dead to me.
And dumping Schwartz for it. Being like, I will not have mutual friends with him.
So we are not friends.
I don't even, I'm not even comfortable with people talking about the concept of
sand because it's too close to sand of all. Okay.
So then she was like, yeah, but I don't want to lose you.
She goes, you're not losing me, you're my family.
By the way, she's not speaking to her brother,
I don't think so.
That's a clusterfuck, that's a clusterfuck of a season.
And by the way, that fucking Jeremy guy,
he writes this text, and I text, he texts,
Jeremy just texted me, I was like, you better not.
He wrote a tweet that was like,
here therefore to out the fans of the Vanderpump rules this. You
shall not judge someone based on the character of someone else's statements on the quality
of the- what are you even fucking talking about Jeremy? He's trying to sound smart
and like talking Shakespearean English to basically tell the fans to stop bullying him
until they know the full story of what happened with him and his sister. He's like, hit that two fourth, good people.
Be quiet, nobody cares about you, sir, okay?
Yeah.
So they, so Ariana and she know,
they're actually having a very nice moment
because you can see right now,
just in Ariana's eyes, what she,
Ariana sees what Sheena's doing.
And even though you can tell that Ariana
is probably so annoyed with Sheena right now, And even though you can tell that Ariana is probably so annoyed
with Sheena right now, she knows what her friend needs and she hugs her and that,
and she's like, you're never going to lose me. You're my family. Like,
don't worry. And they have the really lovely sweet hug.
They're kind of like crying. They give a little kiss and Ariana goes, you know,
me and you were warriors and I don't want you to worry.
You're never going to lose me. I can't lose you. You're my family.
And then out of nowhere, Sandoval appears like out of like,
it's this really nice moment. Then Sandoval just like there.
And then I was like, bye. And she just bolts out of there. Like, oh, yeah,
because it's just so obvious, you know, it's like, and here it's there was Sheena to butter
her up. And then here, March is saying, Hey, hey, it's me,
she's a great job, by the way, she's a great job. And she just
runs off. And he's like, wait one second, like she knows what
you're gonna try and do. It's like,
Yeah, and it's also so dick of him because they're having like
a nice moment and he interrupts it. But he's also interrupting
it because he wants to talk to Ariana
and knows he can have Sheena to help, you know, smooth over things and be a mediator.
So Ariana's like, no. So she's strutting away.
He's like, no, I just wanted to tell her I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
Even though Schwartz already told him, don't tell her this tonight.
Yeah. So then Sheena's like, don't do it. She doesn't want to talk to you.
It's not happening. I already tried, okay?
I already tried.
A-P-P-L-A-S.
How do you like that?
So then Jeremiah is over there like doing wings and he's like, Ariana, Ariana, don't
do this, please, it's Jeremiah, I need a job, okay?
Please, don't get me fired.
And she's like, him fucking walking up on me talking to Sheena, he's like, I know,
told him to do that.
Did I say that? I didn't say that. I don I know, told him to do that. Did I say that?
I didn't say that.
I don't know why he did that.
Why would he have done that?
I'm crazy.
He doesn't give a shit if I died in a ditch
or got a fucking deadly STD
the way he was fucking around behind my back.
That is non-informed consent
and he does not deserve to speak to me.
He does not get access to me.
So then she was like,
so like she doesn't want to hear it from you, Santa ball.
Like I told her about our conversation last night and she thinks that you're
performative, like, and that I'm an idiot. So what, you know, what's funny?
She knows me well enough to know that I'm like not performing.
So hold on. I've got, I just have to, I just, I just booked a gig.
I'm performing later on this week.
My performative, you cheated for months
with your best friend and lied about it, sir.
So Sheena's like, what do I mean to you?
So now Sheena's mad because she's like,
I just went to bat for you and I got swatted down.
And he's like, you mean a lot to me, dude.
She goes, because we're filming or because of life?
And he's like, oh, I'm there.
I show up, you know?
Hassan, look at hasan.
Don't make me look like a fucking idiot, Tom.
I'm like, you were the one on stage just now going, hey, people all around.
Don't make me look like an idiot.
You're dressed like C3PO.
Pretending you're Britney Spears at a party for jewelry at Treasure Island.
Like what? It all kind of feels like a soap opera cause they're all like those tuxedos and
ball gowns. And she's like, and she's like, huh, don't make me look like an idiot.
And then she struts off and he's like, she's not.
And she just disappears through red velvet drapes in her gold dress.
It was like very campy.
And then Billy leaves there too. She's like, um, are you okay?
It's like, what happened? What happened, Tom?
Like seriously, what happened?
Are you coming to my show at the Laugh Factory?
And he's like, dude,
Ariana's going around saying that I'm not being honest
and that I perform it is.
You know what it is?
Ariana's fucking performing it.
She doesn't even like any of these motherfuckers
so she can fuck off saying I perform it is.
Oh, wow.
So then we cut back over to Jeremiah and he's like,
don't end like this, Ariana.
Don't end like it.
And she's like, no, it's all,
it's about a performance to the audience.
He wants 30 seconds with the audience.
And she tells us, whatever it is
that Tom is trying to get from me is not for me.
It's for him.
I am the final boss in his video game of redemption.
And because he can't get to the final boss,
he's fucking pissed, which I thought was hilarious.
Also, because it's like an inverted Super Mario Brothers,
it's like you're playing Bowser trying to get to Mario.
It's Bowser. Yeah.
He just wants a chance to twirl Bowser by his tail.
And she's like, he will not touch my tail.
Okay.
This tale's going to Applebee's.
And it is just such a perfect way of saying it,
because the whole season is like having to knock down,
you know, all the little bosses.
Like, first you get Swords to forgive you,
and then you get so-and-so to forgive you.
Then you have to have that conversation with Katie,
where she doesn't throw a pan at your head,
and then Lala forgives you,
and then it's like the final forgiveness,
and she's like, no, no, no.
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So she leaves with Dan and Brad and a random girl
and they're gonna get a lift and Sandimol's like,
you know what, if you don't wanna film with your ex,
like don't be on the show.
Like seriously, don't sit back on like your lazy ass
and collect a check for doing nothing.
So I like how he is insisting that he's not performative
and yet his argument is like,
why are you coming on the show and not performing?
Like I am.
But also why is the definition of...
Da da da da da da.
Ch-ch. Da da da da da da. Chh chh.
Da da da da da da.
I just remembered the final boss music.
It's the Bowser Castle's music.
The Bowser Castle.
But technically that's just the underworld theme.
That's just the regular.
That's just underworld.
Bowser's Castle is like,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub.
Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub.
Oh, or is that, or actually was that Zelda?
Hold on, I'm gonna look at Bowser Castle.
Bowser Castle's like,
blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla,
blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla, blabla,
I think I was doing Zelda before.
Oh, well there's a bunch of,
hold on, let me see how this sounds.
I'll just look a little bit.
There's also,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, there's also, starting in Super Mario Brothers 3, that other castle music, which I always
feel like is not very scary sounding.
It's like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, the ship music, right? That's the ship when you're on the airship.
Well, it's also, it's just bad music,
but it's also one of the Bowser Castle's themes.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know which one you're talking about.
Yeah.
Okay, so anyway, I don't like this.
So Tom's going off about how she's so lazy
and won't earn a check.
Why does earning a check mean she has to sit there
and take your fake bullshit?
She's still showing up to shoot this show.
She is. She doesn't have to shoot with you.
And it's ridiculous that you get to go fuck somebody over
and then it's their job to come on
and what, scream at you about it or cry with you about it?
No, you fucked that up.
You don't just have the right to shoot
with whoever you want, that's bullshit.
If she was just staying at home, that's one thing,
but she's not.
Yeah, so Santa Claus, now he's furious because he can't have his redemption arc.
So he starts, you know, spiraling and he goes up to everyone and she goes,
she doesn't fuck with you guys on the wheel.
She fucking talks about all of you guys.
She doesn't show up for your shit.
She's not going to come to your thing.
I'm going to come because when push comes to shove, I want autographs.
OK, I'm fucking come, because when push comes to shove, I want autographs, okay? I'm fucking there, dude.
Okay, let's see.
We all know what you've done with Katie.
You've been nasty to her for years.
You've called basically Lala a hoe how many times,
or insinuated how many times.
Like, please stop acting like you're some saint
and the only person that truly likes anybody.
Give me a fucking break with that.
And then he shows up.
Yeah, it's like, I always show up.
And she was like, I know, Tom, I know.
You have been there for me.
That's why I'm struggling,
because you have been a good friend.
He's like, I'm so sorry.
I made that up for you and it kills me.
I'm trying to be a good person again,
even though I just like totally let my mask fall.
But I know you have to put up with a lot.
I know I'm amazing and everybody hates you. she's not bad. Just fucking losing it. And then Sandoval's like, you know, I know it's going
to be like really hard for people who stick by me or like stick up for me. And we see like slow-mo
shots of these heroic people like James and Schwartz and Lala who've founded a place in their
heart to forgive Sandoval. And he's like, these people haven't even forgiven me.
These people haven't even forgiven me.
They're just recognizing me as a person
and they're just still going to get
a relentless amount of hate for that.
And then there's just like all these tweets being like,
fuck Lala, fuck James, James is awful.
Lala's a piece of shit.
Oh my God, she knows, she sucks.
Yeah, but also look up tweets from every single season
and you'll still find those tweets because that's Twitter.
And that's just how the internet works, you know?
I mean, they are taking shit for it,
but they take shit for everything.
And guess what?
It's usually consequences of their actions on television
that they're taking shit for.
And this is another example of that, you know?
So Ariana's people are going to Applebee's,
they're like making Applebee's happen,
which I like, because you know, I used to work there,
I was a good apple until I was a bad apple,
and then I was-
They're gonna eat good in the neighborhood today.
Unsurphoniously dropped from the tree.
What then?
They're gonna eat good in the neighborhood.
So Lala is now talking to Sheena in Sandoval,
and she's like,
I have this my own point of view that I've been biting my tongue because it's very hard to do this.
And it's a lot of breaking the fourth wall. So I'm going to do it now.
This happened to her. The world rallied around her.
And she now thinks she is Beyonce's.
And it's bullshit that she can't film with somebody that she says she says under the same roof with it's a lot
It's a lot that she's saying don't fuck with Tom Sandoval don't fuck with Tom Sandoval
But I'm gonna sleep down the fucking hall from Tom Sandoval. I get it
He cheated you did a really fucking shitty thing Tom hot dog fingers
But it was weird how you looked us all in the eye and said a lot of shit
But he did not kill somebody enter and enter Rand for a pickleball hangout day
with the boys, please.
I know, and like, I'm gonna get, I'm, you know what?
I'm gonna go back up there, okay, cause this is unfair.
And Lala's like, no, she moved on eight days later, okay?
Eight days.
I remember, I agree with you.
I just wanna know that you're like,
I want you to know that you're like not alone in this.
Yeah, man, like we have to have like tough conversations. Like not
easy, man. It's like I've never in my life's experience, someone who gets cheated on and
suddenly she becomes God's okay. Oh, God. And when that quote came out on the trailer,
when that trailer dropped and she said that everyone's like, Oh my God, fucking Lala
betraying Ariana. She went on to watch or happens live and she said that and everyone was like, oh my God, fucking Lala betraying Ariana.
She went on to watch or happens live and she said,
no, I think you're gonna see when that happens in the season.
Like I love Ariana and I think you're gonna see
in that part of the season,
the context of it that I was being a really good friend
in that moment.
I was like, I don't know.
And she was like, and who knows?
People are probably gonna agree with me by the end of this.
It's like, and who knows? People are probably gonna agree with me by the end of this. It's like, no, not really.
Contacts are not, contacts was exactly
what we thought it was.
So we all know that Lala is just bitter
because she was hoping to have this whole, you know,
victim Lala thing after the Rand stuff happened
and she didn't get it and Ariana stole her thunder.
And I'm just, you know, lover or hater,
I'm really glad that Lala is gonna get a chance at a really positive storyline
this season with the whole pregnancy thing.
That's gonna be great to watch on T.
Oh, sorry, yeah.
Those cameras are gonna miss that whole thing.
IG Live it is.
Yeah, Amazon Live, get ready for a lot of baby content. Roku TV. See you there.
So, um, I'm like Shell station, gas pump, television. She's like, I've got to get my 10 seconds in.
So she's like, I love filming this show because it's real and I find it to be tremendously
skilling and for Ariana to walk out this way, it's just such a slap in the face.
This is what we do.
We've been doing it for most of our adult lives.
And so when she says for Ariana to walk out this way,
she says it in a way that sounds like
she's walking out on the show, right?
Because people walk out of a shooting date all the time.
Like people leave the set and are like, I'm going home.
Like that's nothing new. But here
she, for her to highlight, for Ariana to walk out this way as a slap in the face, it sounds like
Ariana quit or something. So now we see like all this vintage footage, we see like Lala sitting
down for what we assume is her first interview. And then we see Sheena and everyone's faces look
different. And there's like this jazzy nostalgic song playing that's like,
faces look different and there's like this jazzy nostalgic song playing that's like
and we see uh sandoval ariana looks like she's 12 years old when she sits down she's such a baby and then james looks largely the same actually which is kind of funny to me and katie sits there
and she has like this she she has this statement necklace.
It looks like a piece of metal fell from the sky and splattered on her chest.
But I love that everybody they're like, Oh my God, look how happy young they are.
And then it just cuts to Katie younger going like,
no, she was still, she was still doing the same thing.
Shorts.
I died. I just think that was so funny. It's like,
no, no matter what the face morphs into, it's always,
NBC young Schwartz who like, oh yeah, that's right. He was a model.
And so, uh, then we just, we start seeing all these.
Never really any proof of that. Let's be honest.
He did an underwear ad once. Right.
And remember it And remember it.
Remember it.
Yes, I do actually.
They were like, Tom, you should do some pushups
and some sit ups and some starvation.
He was like, come on guys, it's been a while.
I've still got it right, right.
And they're like, no, Tom.
Schwartz used to do the, like he was definitely like
in that like JCPenney Labor Day sale, you know, commercial
like three days left for the JCPenney sale. And he was like there holding like JC Penney Labor Day sale, you know, commercial like three days left for the
JC Penney sale. And he was like, they're holding like a beach ball. So then we start seeing scenes
from the show from all these years, like we see Kristin, we see Stasi, we see like everyone,
and we see like breakups, we see crying, we see fights. It's like the show is like pausing right now to take a look back at what's happened
and watch these lives and where it's gone.
And I'm like, are they gearing up for a series finale here?
Is that like, what is happening?
I don't know because they've dropped so many hints.
Like Sheena and Lala both just bought
really big expensive houses in the Valley.
So it seems like obvious that they're gonna move there.
If it was just La La,
I wouldn't think that that was a huge thing.
But Sheena doing it, I mean, Sheena's a beach girl.
Sheena's insistent on living at Playa or Marina.
So for her to move to the Val is super bizarre.
So it seems like they're gonna be making a move.
I don't know,
because the show is still getting great ratings, you know?
Yeah, like maybe is there gonna be like a wholesale recast? I don't think- I don't know, because the show is still getting great ratings, you know? Yeah, like maybe is there going to be like a wholesale recast?
I don't know, but you have to think that the producers were in the meetings going, what
the fuck are we doing?
Like we had to bring Joe in, like Joe's like not even in the cast.
Like we had to bring Joe in to get yelled at by Katie.
And we had to try and force another Tom versus Ariana because literally nothing
is happening. Like we're on a cast trip, two people went to bed early to watch Housewives
in bed and went to sleep with the lights still on. Like, what are we doing? They're probably
freaking out. Poor Jeremiah is over there like trying to snort coke off of, you know,
a PA's ass. Like, just keep me going kid. Just keep me going. Like they've got to be
freaking out. Yeah.
And Lala says, we've all experienced high highs and low lows, so should we show the
footage of Rand ordering those chicken breasts again?
And there is a responsibility that comes with living your life on camera.
You have to be truthful, even when it's extremely uncomfortable.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Hey, Spider-Man.
Lala, the paragon of virtue over there.
And then she even adds in at some point,
because this becomes like a 10-minute Lala monologue,
which is super weird.
Now they're centering Lala as the lead of this show,
like the moral compass of this show,
which is just fucking bizarre.
And they give her this really long, slow-motion monologue
to us, like, talking about the lessons of Vanderpump rules
and what it really means to be a reality TV star
and what it means to be honest.
When Lala has done nothing but fucking lie on this show,
what is she talking about?
And then she even references,
yeah, I've lived untruths on this show once
and I know how painful it was.
And then they cut to her lying about being in a married guy
when she was dating Rand as the one time
that she was ever untruthful on this show.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're still spending the whole season like,
I had no idea there was a casting couch.
What are you talking about?
She's done nothing but lie her entire time on this show.
Am I taking crazy pills?
No, I mean, I just, you know, it's Lala.
It's Lala, yeah.
And that's her character.
It's just so funny that she's building this thing up like,
and part of being on Vanderpump Roof
is being a truth teller.
Okay.
With great powers comes great responsibilities.
And she's like, and you know, I was,
I'd lied one single time and it was suffocating.
And I don't think Tom and Ariana were ever honest
about their relationship until Tom was caught cheating.
And you think you can, you get to be honest for one moment
and then you get to pack it all away and all is good.
Fuck that.
And so it's almost like, so now I'm like, maybe did Ariana get fired? Did Ariana quit?
Did she get fired? I'm just so confused. I'm trying to like read between the lines here.
So now we're back at the party and there's like split screens and we're watching Ariana and her
crew taking the longest walk of all time to their lift. I mean, they've been walking for 10 minutes.
We've been watching them walk across Treasure Island, across the Bay Bridge to get to their lift.
And meanwhile, everyone's at the party and Katie is like, sometimes you just have to like stick to your
fucking boundaries. And like, if your piece is more important than that, then fucking stand your
ground. And Ariana's like, we all live these difficult parts of our lives on camera. But if
it's something that actually really mattered to you regardless, he would do it anyway and he never tried to call me off-camera
He would have he could have written something in a fucking letter on the kitchen counter and I could have read it at my leisure
Which is hilarious. She would have thrown it out immediately
We all know and it was but if you'd only do it on camera to me, you just showed your true colors
Yeah
What I mean you have a point Like when you're only willing to,
when you're only making an effort to apologize,
first of all, after Sheena tells you exactly
what you need to apologize for is insane.
And that you're only willing to do that on camera
at a season finale, cause Jeremiah is trying to make you,
is like not real, right?
So then Lala's acting like she's so emotional now.
She's like, well, it fucking happens.
I broke and I promised myself I wouldn't break.
Oh.
And then Ariana drives off in a Tesla
and we just hear, we don't see it.
We just hear on the mics.
Jeremiah goes, that's the end guys.
And Schwartz says, that was a fucking plot twist.
Lala breaking down like that. And the Sandoval goes, I love it.
It's good for me.
Like just showing what a piece of shit he is all the way to the very last line.
Oh yeah. How is there? He's like, I got her off the show,
but we have to figure it out and we've seen some clips from the, uh,
do you think that's what it meant? What do you think he meant?
I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think, do you think that's what it meant? What are you thinking about? I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think that,
I think that's what it meant. It sounded like he was talking about Lala,
breaking down and finally turning on Ariana publicly.
Everyone basically turning on Lala. I'm Ari. I'll be all of the above.
It's all of the above. I think like Ari, I like Lala saying it,
Ariana leaving it's it's the vibe feels like she quit or got fired.
I don't know if it's true it's, the vibe feels like she quit or got fired.
I don't know if it's true.
She obviously shows up at the reunion.
The reunion looks very emotional and,
and they apparently didn't really see this finale
and they made them watch it at the reunions.
That way they could get raw emotion.
Oh,
Did you know that?
No, well, Lala keeps saying,
if there was something unprecedented that happens at this reunion.
It's never happened before and it changed us everything.
And I wonder if that's what she meant.
Maybe that's what it is.
They showed a teaser like yesterday
that was like them watching,
or they saw some of the finale, but not all of it.
So then now they all watched it
and now they're all like reacting to that.
Yeah, they worked out.
I wonder, because we watch these,
we're watching this early,
so we don't know the reaction to it
from everybody yet, right?
And a lot of times they don't announce anything
until after the finale's aired.
So I wonder if there is,
I wonder if she did quit or if she did get fired.
That'll be interesting if this airs and that happens.
I didn't get that impression, but now that you say it,
I do, because you know, although I believe in everything,
I'm very easily swayed, but I didn't get that impression.
It would make sense why that goes on pause.
Like it makes sense, like the pause is,
well, aside from the fact that Ariana is shooting
Love Island this summer and is going back to Chicago,
so she won't be around, But like if Ariana indeed has left the
show for whatever reason, they probably are taking this as a moment to be like, okay, let's like this,
this chapter is over, Scandival is over. Let's take a moment to rethink like who's on the show.
What are we going to focus on? Who are our stars? Yada, yada, yada. So I don't think it's like,
I don't think the show needs to be on pause
because nothing is working.
I think they just, they needed to have a recovery season
from what happened.
It was never gonna be a super like silly season.
For me, the season, I loved it.
I loved it.
I was into it the whole time.
I thought it was a good season.
I thought it was a good season.
I didn't think it was a terrible season.
I just think it's, you know, I think that the,
you start relying on these shows,
they start relying on the thing that made it big.
It's like last season was a scandal,
so this season has to be scandal all the time.
Like they think that people just want that all the time.
And it's like, okay, it's 15 episodes later into this,
and you're still trying to make the same conversation
happen about an affair that now to us, like, okay, it's 15 episodes later into this and you're still trying to make the same conversation happen
about an affair that now to us,
the audience is over a year old.
And it's just like, stop trying to make it happen.
It just doesn't make any sense.
But I still like the show.
I thought all this stuff that was non-Scandival stuff
was actually pretty funny stuff.
You know, even the second half seemed to sort of move away
from Scandival a bit.
And then they kind of brought it all the way back again for this finale, but it's fine.
I, I'm looking forward to the reunion.
I just, I thought it was fun.
I just had a fit today because I was like, I can't have another conversation about Tom being a piece of shit.
Three part reunion coming your way.
We get to go off to Europe in the heat of, in the midst of a Vanderpump
rules reunion spree. So that's something we can look forward to.
Anyway, thank you everyone for being here and for listening. And we will catch you.
We still have the Valley and Summerhouse this week. So gird your loins. There's a lot to
discuss. Thanks everyone. And we'll catch you on the next one.
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