Watch What Crappens - #2424 Below Deck S11E15, Part 1: Paris is Burning (Bridges)

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

*This is part one of a two-part recap!*On Below Deck (S11E15) Paris follows Fraser’s orders and it gets her called straight into the Captain’s office. Whoops!  Meanwhile, on Summer House Martha’s Vineyard, Simon and Bria are still making a lot of drama over a flamingo and Natalie starts too much drama to take on.Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Misha Brown and I'm the host of Wondery's podcast, The Big Flop. Each episode, comedians join me to chronicle one of the biggest pop culture fails of all time and try to answer the age-old question, who thought this was a good idea? Follow The Big Flop wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crappins! Watch what crappins! Watch what crappins! Who cares what happens when this Watch what crappins! Watch what crappins! Watch what crappins!

Who cares what happens when this Watch what crappins! Hello and welcome to the dulcet sounds of Watch What Crappins! I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good, welcome to your life, Ben. Thank you so much.

Welcome to your life. Thank you, so glad to be living it. Thank you, everybody. Sit down, have a seat. That's the truth. Have a seat. Guys, thanks so much for being here. Today is Below Deck Day.

You know, what a day. What a day. I mean, it's just to watch, it's so fun to watch little toxic seeds grow. You know, Fraser has been planting little seeds of toxicity all season. And I have to hand it to him, it usually takes a season or two to watch these things grow on television, but his grow right away. I mean, he turned Paris into a monster within five minutes. That was the quickest growing seed of toxicity. It's a bloom. It's a full toxic Bush now. So thank you, phrase. Nice words. Yeah. Also, in terms of if we're giving out awards, this is the you guys don't realize this you've tuned in to the 2024 Toxies award show where we're handing out Toxies for best

to the 2024 Toxys Award Show, where we're handing out Toxys for best toxic behaviors. And we also have to give one to Ben for being able to pummel Sunny down into submission, where she has now really not, she's really allowed to put all the issues in their relationship on her own shoulders and reframe it as like her fault for being too invested. So congrats, Ben, on your toxic behavior for wearing down this poor lady and you get an award. You get a Toxie.

I mean, truly well done. Really a lesson to all the fuck boys out there. If you really want to get along well with women while you're fucking them over, basically, like, anyway, I guess it's more of a lesson to us who have to deal with fuck, anybody who has to deal with a fuckboy, the lesson to us, I guess, is just give them whatever they want, and make no arguments, and just apologize a lot as they fuck you over, and you'll feel great. Now that said, I mean, it is much better when you just look at someone as a masturbatory meat puppet, which is what she's pretending to do. I don't really believe it, because she's entering that phase

where she's just like, oh, I'm so happy. Which as we know, we know that personality, that is a Shannon Bedor personality from Real Housewives of Orange County, which is now the second time that's come up this weekend in our recaps. And we'll see where that leads.

I can guarantee it's not anywhere that's fun for Sunny. Okay. Also, I have a surprise Toxy to hand out. I don't think you probably ever saw coming. I want to give out a surprise Toxy to the matriarch of the family that came on Below Deck. I think her name is Noreen. She gets a Toxy because you can tell that she is very domineering in a very pleasant and waspy way to her daughters. And to that I say, congratulations, you get a Toxie for gay icon, gay icon Toxie award, because that's what we love. We love matching. I thought she was like so fun loving and like she, that's how she presents, but I guarantee

like at home, she's like, Oh, Cassie, that's what you're going to wear tonight. Okay. Well, I guess if you can live with it, I can live with it. Cassie, I applaud your bravery and just going so overboard on your calories today, not even caring. Good for you. You know, my daughters are really, they're like my best friends because if I'm not their best friend, who will be? Am I right? Okay. Best and only, am I right? I mean, it's too long of a nickname for your mom, but. I felt that this woman seems so nice and her daughters,

they all seem like a very healthy family, but there was something about her that I was drawn to. You know that energy that like excites us gays where we're like, oh my God, oh my God. I feel like, I feel like this is a strong, strong female figure. I stand there. There was just something about it where I was like, Oh, I want to know more. Cause you know that she has like some sort of like very wide

smile that hides like an evil interior in the best way. Well, look at her husband walking around like, let me look at your engine. You know she's murdering puppies in her mind all day long. All right, well, the point is, the labored point is, this is below deck day. We're going to Europe this week for shows. Next week, we're in a comedy festival in London.

I don't remember what it's called, London Comedy Festival. No, it's a podcast festival called The Podcast Show, actually. The Podcast Show, I'm an idiot and do not have my information up. And guess when I learned things five minutes before or when I show up there, you know, singing the theme, just, you know, singing all the songs from Sweeney Todd because I'm an ignorant fool and really no Sweeney Todd and Mary Poppins. Okay. So that's what you're getting with me, London. Good luck. So we're coming there next week for that podcast festival. It's gonna to be great. They're going to love me for this great endorsement. And then we're

going to be in Dublin and Birmingham. So London sold out. We saw some tickets for Birmingham and the other place, Dublin. Cannot wait to see you guys. Please wear kilts because you know, that's so hot to us. Do not listen to Barbie. That's Scotland, but that's fine. I don't care. It's close enough. Regionally, it's close enough that you guys can borrow from some culture. I need to see kilts. We are going to Sweden first.

So again, kilts we do require. We're going to Taylor Swift. I want to see kilts. Hey, London, you too, actually. Throw on some fucking kilts. Let's just get some kilts going. Everywhere. kilts. Hey, London, you too, actually. They're all some fucking kilts. Pete Slauson Kill some kilts everywhere. Pete Slauson Kill kilts. Pete Slauson Yeah. And that's that. So today, here we are,

we're excited. In other words, I sound like I'm blase. I'm so excited. I keep waking up. For some reason, I wake up like, oh my God, where am I? Why don't I speak any language? But even English, why don't I even know that? But the music that's playing in my head is that Beyonce song with Miley Cyrus. I'll be your shotgun rider. Ben, I see you shopping online, by the way, on your... No, I'm looking at the podcast show. I know my reading glasses betray me. No, I'm looking at the podcast show website to see who else is gonna be here.

And I can't find anything. I thought you were shopping. No, I'm not shopping. With suitcases right now. Okay, so Ben. I'm not, but I am listening. Notice that I was able to start singing along with your Beyonce and Miley Cyrus.

Shark God rider till the end of time. Till the end of time. Driving down the 405. I don't remember. You're down the 405. Who wants to drive down the 405? Get a closer freeway, that sounds so proper. Where do they live?

A proper shotgun friend will say, let's not take the 405. Let's take Laurel Canyon or something. Laurel Canyon. No friend wants to like, you can't shotgun ride on Laurel Canyon, you just sit in traffic. Anyway, we don't have one. We're gonna be here 10 hours trying to just start

this fucking recap. We're both Looney Tunes today. We're going to Europe, see you there. Okay, let's get on with Below Deck, shall we? Ben, you're lucky I'm talking to you. My dad would not approve of this. You're way too poor. So, you're welcome. You talking to you. My dad would not approve of this. You're way too poor. So you're welcome.

You're welcome for my company today. Okay, I'm closing out the podcast show tab. I just wanted to see what other podcasts were gonna be there. So below deck, welcome back to the Toxies. Okay, so we see palm trees. Palm trees up so high. A thought to start the party. Oh, it's a lyric.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I noticed that song. Sorry. I got really excited. That song, palm trees up so high, sunlight in my eyes. Why are you staring at the sun girl? Why are you surprised the palm trees are tall? Palm trees are might staring at the sun my ow ow ow. The rest of the lyrics

are just ow I can't see why do I see spots? I can't see your face. I'm driving off the road. I thought it was only during the eclipse. You weren't supposed to stare at the sun. I want to stare at the sun. Wanna blind myself tonight. What is Cheryl Crowe even talking about, by the way? Have we ever really, have we ever really like, like sat down with Cheryl Crowe and said, you know, you're, you have terrible ambitions. Remember when Cheryl Crow came out, like her big invention was really long sleeves that touched the floor so that you could wipe a convention. You could use it as napkins. Remember when she was like, I believe in

conservation. So I invented sleeves that you also use as napkins. And people are like, ah. That's just called sleeves. Literally, it's stupid. Okay, so we cut to the county. Every day is a winding road. Has anyone ever checked on Cheryl Crow to make sure she's just not drunk?

It's like, Cheryl, every day is just like a straight road. You're just drunk. Cheryl, this is a go-kart. Cheryl, you just crashed into a palm tree. Palm trees up so high. Cheryl, you're in a ball pit. Okay. So then we cut to Captain Carrie and he's like, oh, Patel, Sarkissi,

Kandini, Kou-Eti. Which means that stupid singer blinded herself. So he's, everyone's waking up, barbing collar in the same bunk. And he's like, I don't want to leave. And she's like, get out of here. I have a dad, I have a dad. I don't know how he's going to feel about this. My dad hates mornings and he hates when I sleep with people. If I mix both of those things, I'm never getting another purse. Get out of my bed. Yeah. And now it's time for a deck meeting. So there's going to be a family of three kids coming on, but they're like not kids. They're like teenagers slash young adults, college age, just hot girls basically, like hot legal girls. And so now there's a stew meeting and Fraser's like, all right everyone, we're going to do a beach picnic.

I want you to run that weird chef as well. Please make sure he feels bad about every garnish or lack there of Paris, you know what to do. Oil drips, that's right. Yeah, he's so terrible. He's just as undermining, I mean, sowing those seeds, the toxic seeds, here he goes. All right, go to the beach picnic,

don't forget you're on the chef's ass all day long. And then what do you think is gonna happen when Paris finally gets called out on this? He's just gonna back off and act like Paris was a bad employee and he'll take care of it from now on because he's dependable, this fucking guy. I can't believe this guy's getting away with all of this. All right. So I'm sorry, spoiler alert, Frazer is still like bungling this job. So Paris is like, well, am I supposed to hold his hand? And he goes, well, be responsible

for fuck ups because it's charter eight. We don't want to get in trouble. So everybody woos, and now it's time for provisions, which has always seemed like such a simple, oh no, nevermind, I can't say that. Yeah. Sorry. Pause that thought for a few weeks. Yeah. So, then it's like time for provisions,

time for provisions. So Barbie and Kyle are making out on the stairs, sounds like they have provisioned some love. And Kyle's like, what have you done for me? For fuck's sake woman. And then we see Ben and Dylan cleaning and Ben's like, so there can be some pretty shot of kiss coming on board.

And Dylan's like, ooh, do you think if one of them kissed, if one of them kissed, then we would get in trouble? Do you think we can kiss and if they've not get in trouble? Do you think we can kiss anything but not get in trouble? And Ben's like, well, Fraser did that on the last shot, so technically we should be okay. I'm like, are you already preparing to throw Fraser under the bus, like retroactively now? Yes, and isn't it enough you get to bang

your fucking employees, Ben, okay, without, leave the gay alone, okay? I know I'm attacking him, but I'm from over here. I can attack him. And also, the gays never get anything on this boat. I mean, Kyle I know I'm attacking him, but I'm from over here. I can attack him. And also the gays never get anything on this boat. I mean, Kyle did, I guess, technically, but Kyle really tried very hard.

You know, let Frasier pretend he has feelings for a second. Okay? He's the Ark. Yeah, so Barbie calls up her mom and she's like, Mom, this has been like more suffering than fun. Kind of like the time we had to drink Fanta because we ran out of Diet Coke. But anyway, one of the guys here, he's like totally nothing.

Like he's like nothing to do with who I am. Like not sort of person I would normally ever go for, but like I'm totally into him, mom. And she's telling us, yeah, there's a world over there. And then there's this little world called the yacht life. And you're not thinking about the world over there, how we would fit in. Like, are my parents gonna like him?

Like, what's gonna happen with this guy? Am I ever gonna be able to afford a decent bag with this guy? Like, you have to think about that kind of thing because normally I wouldn't be with that kind of guy. Like, I am so, like, I really have to think about that. Like, what am I gonna do? What is my dad gonna think? Like, I kept believing with someone poor.

It's like, we're dick. I mean, Barbie is like made for TV. They just sit her down and she just goes through every issue she can possibly. I know. Do you want me to start a fight with that production assistant? Cause I'll fucking do it right now.

My dad doesn't mind me fighting. I'll do that right now. Do you need it for, do you need, do you need film? Do you, do we need footage or something? Cause I'll fucking do it right now. So then, uh, he, then Kyle just comes on over and just pats her ass and says, hello there. And she's like, oh mom, this is the guy I was telling you about.

I know he's attractive, but in a strange way, like he'll be attractive in 20 years, but like not yet, but you can see it's going to happen. Yeah. He's like very Adam driverish, but nothing like that. At the same time, you get what I'm talking about. He's like an Adam driver that stayed poor. Am I right? Isn't that funny?

Hey mom, do you know what I always tell Kyle? Like I don't even think he should wear a tux if we get married. I think he should just like wear a cardboard sign that says like, we'll work for beer. You know what I mean? That would be funny. So anyway, Kyle, you're not helping things

with your body language, okay? Kyle comes in, he's rubbing her ass. She's on the phone with his, her mom, and then he kind of still keeps rubbing her ass. And then he moves his hands and instead lifts him over his head and gives her armpit. Like, what is that? Yeah, it was like, and then I think he like rubs

Barbie's shoulder a little bit, which is there's nothing wrong with that. But it was one of those things where I'm like, okay, well, she's obviously, she has concerns about like the PDA with her parents and yada, yada, yada. So I would have just like been just like a little bit more like, you know, I think if you're like meeting parents for the first time, you're just not so casual with your body language, I guess is what,

is what I'm saying, which is agreeing with you. It's like, you're just like a little bit more aware of how you're presenting yourself. And he's like, Oh, how's it going over there? This is pretty good over here. Jacked one off this morning. I'm gonna smoke my pipe later. Hey there, I'm fucking your daughter. It's pretty good at it, gotta say. So Barb's like, yeah, this is the homeless person

probably that I was telling you about. And she's like, oh, he's so handsome. Wow, you look very good. And he's like, all right, well, bon you later, Barb. All right, gotta go. So he leaves and then the mom's like, oh, he's so handsome. Wow, you look very good. And he's like, all right, well, bon dia later, Barb. All right, gotta go. So he leaves and then the mom's like, beautiful accent, fuck him now. You know, cause the mom's like really free sex therapist.

So now there's more cleaning and Fraser and Captain are at the bar because you know, Captain Carey's being like super meticulous since this is a yacht owning family. And so- And he's so meticulous, but I think he's a little performative. I'm gonna go out and say it now.

I think he's a great captain. I haven't really found anything to find fault in him this season, but when he walked up to the bar and lifted the rubber mats on the bar, I went, what's this? What's this for? And Fraser had to say, you put those on the bar to not stain the marble when you put glasses on.

They're glass, they're very typical glass rubber things that go on the bar. I was confused and then I thought, is he lying? Has he been lying about his resume this whole time? Is he like that Russian chef who pretended she knew what nachos were? Is that Fraser or the captain lying? The captain.

No, I mean, I don't think it's performative because I feel like if it was performative, he would just be like sitting up in the wheelhouse the entire time. And then like all of a sudden is like very fussy for like one moment. But I think he's come through and he's done checks. He's been doing it all season where he's like,

all right, we're gonna do a lock three right now. So I feel like it's a genuine, a genuine meticulousness. So I don't think it's performative. No, I mean, his whole, do you think he's really a captain or do you think he like works at Chuck E Cheese and he's, oh, he might work in Chuck E Cheese. Yeah. Oh, that was, it's obvious he's never driven a boat. I mean, I don't think he's, I don't think he's even driven a boat because he doesn't know what bar mats are, which is weird. That's what I'm saying. I'm suspicious of the whole person. Now that you see it that way, I'm realizing that like, it's just been pure luck that he's

been able to get the boat in and out of the dark so many times. I think I was understating it at first. So he's like, yeah, that's you don't stain the marble, stupid. And the captain was like, oh, oh, that by the way, that's Turkish for all. Got it. Thank you so much for teaching me that captain. So then he was checking the bathrooms like pass pass. And it is like these guests have their own yacht. They expect the best. We haven't had this high caliber client yet. The crew needs to step it up. No mistakes. So in by the way, at this point, I'm thinking,

oh, they have their own yacht. Like they have something that's in a slip somewhere in Monaco, you know, like some big ass yacht. But we find out later on, they have like a little yacht in Newport Beach. And like, that's not nothing. Obviously, those boats cost a lot. But like, when you're that's basically the boat that they that's like the boat that they went on on, Like when you're, that's basically the boat that they, that's like the boat that they went on on, on Orange County last season where Heather Dubrow goes, is there another floor? Every time that makes me laugh.

Every time I said, when Heather Dubrow came up, is there another floor upstairs? Is there another? No, no, it's no. And it's like that. It's like a little baby yacht. So I kind of don't feel like maybe this is wrong. I hate to offend yacht owners out there, but I kind of feel like owners of little baby yacht. So I kind of don't feel like maybe this is wrong. I hate to offend yacht owners out there, but I kind of feel like owners of little baby yachts

are not gonna be like, oh, well, they don't have, they don't have the toilet paper folded in a little triangle in my guest room, you know? Cause I just don't see it. There's not enough space to be that meticulous on the little yacht, right? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. It's like getting onto like a luxury bus and being like, Oh, I have a bicycle.

They're like, um, okay, could you get the fuck on the bus? Like, what do I care? It is not the same thing. Exactly. It's almost, you know what it is? It's like if you've got like one of those tiny like BMWs, like a two seater that's like really cute. So it's luxury. It's nice. But then you get into some big ass like luxury SUV and all of a sudden it's like oh well they drive a BMW so they're gonna be super demanding about what this SUV is it's like no they just have like a little two-seater yeah i don't know if this is a hill that's really

worth dying on but it's it's a hill i'm enjoying well jenny's guy on it just unique just it's a hill to be a bitch on that's what i'm saying it's a hill I'm being a bitch about. I love that like for some reason, it's a really nice family. I'm like- It's better to be a bitch on a hill than it is on flat land. That's what I say. I'm like, I don't know why. It's like this perfectly nice family. I'm like, they're not going to be that meticulous because their yacht's not big enough. Well that's the problem with being rich is that there's always something better, right? It's like, oh, we own a boat. Well, you're on a bigger boat, so shut up because your

boat sucks. You know what I mean? And it's always like that. It's like you can finally get a car and then you get a car that's maybe nicer than your last car, but then all you can see are the even nicer cars, you know? I mean, it's just that cycle. The grass is always greener. Yup. Answer what else is. These guests have their own yacht. Expect the best. We even had this whole caliber client yet. The crew needs to step it up.

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I mean, honestly, who knows? Don't count yourself out. But my favorite part about these feuds is how they're ignited by the tiniest things. Jada, I love you. G-I Jane too. Can't wait to see you. I accidentally laminated my brows too much. It starts small and then it gets so big.

Be honest, Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this day. I don't know her. We all just have to admit we're addicted. Everybody has opinions. Everyone picks sides. Leave Britney Spears alone right now! From Wondery, I'm Sydney Battle. And I'm Matt Bellassai.

And this is Dis and Tell. La la la. Where we unpack why we get so invested in these feuds and whether or not our attention only makes the whole thing worse Follow diss and tell wherever you get your podcasts So guest on five everybody get ready and then we see something I've been totally wondering About is that shot in the beginning of Paris just staring and doing precision work over something

and the opening is like, and Paris and it shows her and she's like, arm astute. She's like doing precision looking like CSI. And I was like, wow, what is that? And it was her looking at champagne glasses. We saw the shot in this thing and I was like, wow, full circle, the season is almost over. We're seeing the most important scenes coming to life.

All the pieces are falling into place, yeah. So then a girl comes down the deck and then the chef is like, that looks like my girlfriend. I know it's not though, cause she still has a Chanel bag. And then because all the people are walking forward, by the way, I should say those those the people, the guests are arriving, I should say, I don't know why I'm saying it this way. So, I think they're like, girls, it's girls. It's girls coming down the dock! Like they're so excited, they're all Mrs. Patmore. Daisy!

It's women coming down the dock, Daisy! Hi, get the rolling pin! It's so funny they mentioned Mrs. Patmore because I was definitely going to say that Kyle is giving the energy of the valet who marries, um, whatever that daughter was. You know, the daughter.

The valet, you know, they all have the valet in the family and they're uneasy about it because they're like, it's a ballet, but he married our wealthy daughter. That's what Kyle is. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. So the guys are like, wah-ha!

Like the cartoon eyes are poking out. And I mean, I think everybody's very pretty, but it's also just like people who were led out of prison for the first time, you know? It's like an old Western where the guys just get out of the county jail and they go straight to the bordello, you know, and they're like, what are we going to get here? And there's just a bunch of board hookers. Yeah. I'm not really saying the daughters are like board hookers. Nevermind. The daughters are like, the daughters are like very lovely.

They're very lovely and they're very pretty, but these guys are acting like they have been holed up in a cell for 20 years and now it's their first time seeing fresh meat. So it's like, all right, welcome everyone. Welcome hot people. Come on, you got to take a tour where hot people can rest around and get drinks. Come on, Frasier will take you on a tour. It's like, oh, so I've heard you've done yachting before. And the dad's like, yeah, Newport Beach.

Oh, oh, how sad that you say Newport Beach and it means anything to a European. Okay, I love that for you. Wow, a town named after the same amount of time you've had your money. New, new money, new money on board. But I'm glad to have any, honestly. We don't have new ports in Europe.

They've all been around for at least 2000 years. So enjoy. We've got ports where I'm from. Have you seen Malta? I believe it. I believe its castles were built by dinosaurs. Okay. And the, he's giving him the tour and he's like, this is the hot tub. You can see everything from there. And the dad's like, well, we're a family crew. Now. I don't know if that was

creepy or not. I didn't get a creepy vibe. At first I did. I had to rewatch it. Cause I was like, please don't be a creepy family. Please. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't feel like he'd said it in a creepy way, but to me I was like, this is intention versus impact. And I was like, that is kind of a creepy thing to say though. Yeah, I couldn't really tell if he was like, hey, we're a family crew here, Frazier. Or if he was like, we're a family crew. Oh, ho, whew.

I'm acting like this today. Oh, whew. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm acting like this today. I'm cracked out. Oh, maybe it's because I'm on like my third coffee since 5 30 this morning. Anyway, point is, Fraser is like, this is what I do. Working for a family, they have money, they're bringing their children on board to celebrate being their children. They're not like other guests we've had this season. Cut to celebrate being their children.

They're not like other guests we've had this season cut to the king and queen cut to Jill going ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. And then that lady, I forgot her name. Wasn't Trish, Barb or something like that where she got, she was wasted. She just fell out, fell out of the hot tub and just banged her head on the side of it. Yeah. Oh.

That was one of the best things I've ever seen on this show. Just watching a person get what they deserve, you know? Yeah, she was awful. So Fraser was like, yes, I'm finally happy to have a group on board that knows how to enjoy themselves politely. So then like some succession music plays, it's like very serious and people are cleaning. And Carl's like, oh, we're in trouble, buddy. And he's like, yeah, thanks, mate. Oh, I know. I see a vagina and breasts, don't really pay attention to anything else attached. And I know

I'm going to have a hair flip for the rest of this trip. And Ben really keeps trying to get Sonny mad, but she's not letting it work. I mean, I really like it. I mean, she's kind of manip... It's like she's manipulat... She's kind of learned, I don't want to say manipulating, but like she's learned his game and it's like, okay, well, I'm not going to give him what he wants and be angry.

Now I'm going to like give toxic positivity. I don't know why I'm saying toxic. You know what I mean, right? But then I'm like, who's winning here? He's still winning. You can change the attitude, but you're still giving him exactly what he wants. I don't know, it's making me crazy.

I don't like it. So he's pushing it. And so she just goes, okay, guys, okay, enough. And Dylan's like, what happened? And she's like, okay. And then we see a clip of them being like, girls, girls are coming. Do you think it's a rolling pin?

And she's like, guys, you've said it like 20 times. And she goes, but I'm fine. I'm fine. fine and Ben's like I know what I'm fine means that means something's wrong but I want you to guess what it is without me telling you that's what I'm fine means women I have no idea what you're talking about women women's dictionary that's what it is why did I find look at me how did I wind up in this situation again with women and the way they use words. It's wild. You know what?

I think I've had too much. So then Sunny says, you know what? If I choose to ignore the red flags, that's on me. I mean, you know what? I love that mentality. She's like, I'm ignoring it because I'm horny. I do think that's a healthy mentality oddly enough. But then the problem is, I think that she, like she is, she's

how do I say it? I'm not trying, I'm not trying to like, I'm not worried about offending anyone. I'm just trying to make it. It's that way. My point makes any sense. It's like, she's acting like she's ignoring the red flags and like, whatever, just gonna have fun. But like you aren't ignoring the red flag, which is that you can't just have fun with this person because you're gonna get attached.

Well, maybe she can. Some people can do that, you know? I can. I mean, I think that for the gay culture, I don't know. Madison can. I think that there are a lot of people who can do it. From what we've seen, she can't do it, but the way she's phrasing it,

how she's just like recognizing it, like, okay, well, I was thinking this was a thing, but now it's not a thing and I can just have fun. Fine, I'll just fuck the guy. And if there's red flags, then it's on me. I mean, I really liked this. I was like, you go girl. But at the same time, I'm like,

if you can really do it, then you go girl. But if you're really thinking, maybe this is the way to get him to really like me, then no, no, no, don't do that. But if you can really just fuck him, then go for it. Because I think, I hope that she knows that at the end of the day, she's only banging this guy because he's her only option on a boat.

I hope that it's the same thing with the guys where she's only this excited about someone because she's on a boat. She's got boat colored glasses on because obviously she can do a zillion times better than this, you know? Yeah. Well, that's the thing is that she's acting like she's ignoring the red flags, whatever. But like she is like when he said, when she says like, I'm trying to see who Ben really is, but there's chemistry there. Like there is no chemistry there. There's just proximity. And so the fact that you can't even recognize that

is still gonna like lead her down the wrong path. Well, proximity is chemistry sometimes. Because I would definitely fuck a homelier person that was closer to me. A person that was far from me. That's just how it is. So sometimes, sometimes proximity is sometimes it's just whatever's there. You know, you eat what you see. I was learning that in Weight Watchers as a kid.

If you leave something on the counter, you're going to eat it no matter what it is. If it's peanut M&Ms, you're going to eat that. If it's a banana, it's going to be that, you know, if an onion banana there, and if it's a penis, you're probably going to jump on that. So be careful what you have on your kitchen counters. Don't put Ben's on your kitchen counter. Don't don't. Well, specifically that Ben, um, yeah, not all that obviously. I mean, I wouldn't you on my, my, this is a family show, Ben. We're like the family. We're a family. We are a family.

So it's time to leave. So leave me in the dock and everything. And Ben is, you know, Ben tells the crew to go check the umbrellas and stuff and calls like, hey, Dylan, go talk to him. So Dylan goes over and starts like flirting with the girls in whatever his weird way is. They're like, what's your name?

He's like, Dylan. And he's like, hi, hi, hi. How are you enjoying it here on the STD? Like STD. St. David. Like, oh, like way to go. STD. That's funny. He said STD sister. He said STD. It's just like, it's like a slow wash of very uninterested laughter that ripples across the four daughters.

Hey, may I offer you any of your tablets that we can wipe off some extra calories from your glasses? you a towel so that we can wipe off some extra calories from your glasses. So then, uh, chef and Fraser are, uh, talking. Fraser goes into the galley and he's like, have you got lunch? Stupid. And the chef's like, uh, I'm going to just do one sushi roll mate. And he's like, well, I'm going to show you what I've got for plates. Here are your choices, a rectangle or a square, which would you prefer? And he's like, uh, I don don't wanna play any of this actually.

He goes, well, I think it would be better plated. Well, fuck off, get the fuck out of here. That's what you should get a rolling pin to the head. I'm just gonna keep bringing up rolling pins. Can you should get a rolling pin to the head, get out. Yeah, he's like, well, I've got a lot to do. It's timing, sorry. So then Fraser was like, anytime I offer to help, I feel like Chef Nick isn't working side by side and I want it. I feel like a lot of fuck

yous. Okay. You know what? Rejecting a rectangular plate is not rejecting you wholly as a person. He just was like, I don't want that plate. Let's just put it all. I want to make it as a big sushi display, which actually I think in this situation, I am fully with the chef because I think getting like a little rectangle plate with six like hand or cut pieces on it feels a little sad in the context of a super yacht. I think if I saw a big mound of sushi

in the middle of the table, I'd be like, ooh, luxury decadence. Yeah, and isn't this for the beach picnic? This is for the beach anyway, right? So yeah, so it's not crazy to do something like that. And so the chef's like, can I get a red bull, I guess, trying to assert his power. So Fraser's like, you fucking god damn it. I hate you. I hope you choke on it. Here's your red bull. He goes, I said two, mate. He's like, oh god, two, you'll pass out. God willing, mother fucker. By the way, against the chef, if I went to the beach picnic

and all I received were six pieces of sushi, I would be like, this is not enough. I need at least 12, not 18. You've got extremely thin, well-manicured people from Newport. You're right, you're right. One piece of sushi each. You can tell he's been doing this 70, I mean 20 years,

because he knows, you know? So the anchor goes down, great job, Sonny. And Paris and Fraser are like talking and Paris asks if they'll be plating on the beach and Fraser says, yes, there will be plating on the beach and Fraser says yes, there will be plating on the beach, which is luckery. He's such an underminer. I can't believe it. And he's also putting this girl right into the path of danger. It's not cool. Yeah. So now the dad, you know, dad, dad wants to have a dad time dad moment. So he's like, can I get a tour of the

boat? So captains showing him around. He's like, on over here here's the control room here's three levels 1850 a sawtooth power big boy all that kind of good stuff how many levels are on your boat one oh well that's all right it's so sad there's nothing to feel bad about you know every man cries himself to sleep some nights just remember that friend have you ever been chased by some Holy pirates? No. So your life hasn't gotten much, but you've got a nice family, mate. That's nice.

Have you ever been stuck working on as a roofer while you waited for your wife to forgive you enough to see your daughter? No. All right. You don't really have the same gratefulness that some of us have for what they've gotten life, but good for you, mate. Good. Hi, I'm sure your boat looks like a Maggie art and whatever fictional beach town you live in Newport. Never heard of it.

Have you ever heard of port? That's a good, you know, another question. Have you ever been chased by some Ali pirates, but it turns out there were just people in a robot just wanting to sell you fish? Because that happens all the time to me. Actually, you know, that's like a big ploy with the pirates. I learned this because of North Sea TikTok, because North Sea TikToks are to then turn into like pirate TikTok. So a lot of times the pirates show up in little rowboats

and they pretend like they're just like merchants because they'll be TikToks. That'll be like, if you ever see a rowboat on the, on the ocean, this is why a captain will freak out. A lot of times, one thing you may not know, a lot of times people pretend like they're just merchants trying to sell you fish, but in fact they're pirates and you see these like little robots and people pull out their machine guns and stuff. It's also wild to think about that like a person on a little robot could take over an entire cruise ship. Food for thought. Hey, man, you know, the strongest wins, the strongest personality wins because a lot of times it's like people who rob you with a finger in their in their jacket, or they're like, I got a gun. And if they're believable, you're like, here's all my money, you know,

and you paint on the floor a little bit, because that's what you've learned to do in movies and you're not a wuss at all. And that's how it is. And I think on the little robots that can overtake you cause they've got, they may have a tiny boat, but mentally they've got the dick that would float at Titanic's worth of people across an ocean. Well, let me tell you something. If a pirate ever tried to come on my boat, I would say, Arctic Captain Ben Eam,

which means I am the captain now. If a captain ever tried to, if anybody ever tried to come on my boat, I'd be like, my dad does not like people coming on boats. I'm telling you that right now. If anyone tried to come on my boat, I'd be like, good. I need to be in Laguna Beach anyway in like five minutes, so I'll just get off.

So Paris and Ben are talking, oh wait, so the dad has just had the tour right. So they go to the daughter's and he's like, kids, we just went to the engine room, 30,000 gallons of fuel. And one of the daughters goes, wow, dad, I can't even imagine how much fuel that is. Here's a hint.

It's 30,000 gallons worth. I don't know why I thought it was so funny. It's just how she said it made me laugh so hard. Wow. I can't even, she's like, how do I make this sound different than the last time he was so fucking impressed with the gas tank, you know, cause you know, it's happened 30 times. It is wild, how do I make this sound different than the last time he was so fucking impressed with a gas tank, you know? Cause you know it's happened 30 times. It is wild, by the way.

30, this boat has 30,000 gallons of fuel in it at any given moment. Like that is, oh. Well, let's not forget to stop and talk about conservation for half an episode. It does make me feel pretty bad for those oceans. I was like, wow, we are not doing right by this planet. I know.

We're like, why are the oceans so mad at us? Yeah. Why are those orcas sinking yachts? Because, yo, no shit, right? Now I get it. I get why the orcas are doing that. So doesn't mean we approve of that orcas. Change your behavior.

Orcas, violence is not the answer, okay? Orcas, talking about orcas. All right, use proper channels. And that's a pun, because your behavior. Orcas, violence is not the answer, okay? Orcas, talking about Orcas. Use proper channels, and that's a pun, because you guys are seafaring. So now the guests head on the tender with Dylan for beach day, and the captain is doing deck check, deck check with Sunny, or dick chick,

he's doing a deck check with dick chick, and Sunny's like, yeah, I think Captain Carey's a little bit militant. He does not cut corners. And then we see him crawling all over the furniture. He's like, I don't like zippers on pillows sewing. Listen, one thing I don't like seeing pillows enjoying is an adventure.

Pillows are working, zippers down. Hands up, zippers down. So- Sorry, I got really bored after I left Top Chef. They wouldn't let me back in. Hi, I'm Padma Lakshmi and I'm your new guest on your yacht. We're all be having a comedy show. Okay, knock knock. Who's there?

Not you because you're too poor. Who are you anyway? Okay, knock knock. Who's here? People with the James Beard Award nomination. Is that any of you? No, sorry, I guess you'll never see the inside of my Knock Knock house.

Bye. Oh, so picnic time. So Paris and Barbie are serving and the chef is now heading over on his own tender and he turns to Fraser and he goes, do I look all right? And Fraser's like, you look amazing, Chef, don't you worry. Get over there. You're about to look like a total asshole.

I've already set Paris up to argue with you in front of guests. Enjoy yourself, amsome. Chef, you look absolutely amazing. I'm sure Betty will be so horny when she sees you walk back into your rock house of yours. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Shimon Liayi and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition.

I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on

station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow the competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So now the family is having, we get to see a peek into their lives. They're having a conversation on the beach.

And one of the daughters is like, look at those palm trees. Did you know that more people die of falling coconuts than they do of sharks? And the mom goes, oh my God, well, who stands under a palm tree? And like, mom, lots of people do, we live in California. Pete Slauson Also, you're actively sitting under three palm trees right now. And she goes, our palm trees don't produce coconuts, sweetie? This is why she didn't get into Yale or community college.

And there's like, why, why don't they produce the coconut into an actual coconut? They rejected her just from Sam goody. So the daughter's like, why, why don't, why don't ours produce coconuts? And the other one like, why? Why don't, why don't ours produce coconuts? And the other one goes, cause they're hybrids. The coconuts are hybrids. No, the trees are hybrids. So you can drive a tree. Do we get to the, can the tree go into the carpool lane? No, it's not a hybrid car.

You dummy. When are they moving their line to plugins? So why a question. Oh, go ahead. My question is, why do sharks fall out of trees? No one said sharks fell out of trees. Well, you said more people die of falling coconuts than sharks.

Well, the sharks aren't falling too. No, we shoot people with sharks, honey. Geez. Anyway, we don't want coconuts because coconuts kill so many people. Am I right, girls? And they're like, I'm not stupid. I was like, actually actually your mom's hilarious. And I think we all need to celebrate her. Can I get some more mom love?

She is just, you know what, she's just trying to find the fastest path out of the conversation. I don't know. We don't have coconuts in Southern California because they'll just kill you. And so we've, we've genetically modified our trees to be more safe. I don't know, just shut up already. I can't wait to have sushi. So then the chef arrives and sees like the little, you know, cocktail table they've set up for him. And he's like, oh, this is my fucking kitchen. Right, right, Fred.

And so he's laughing and Paris goes, so should I just put the food here on your, on on your table? And he's like, no, the dog will have it there, not there. So he starts moving it over and she's no, no, not on the bar. All right, this is my bar area and I don't want raw food here. This isn't, this isn't raw. It's cooked because oh, well, it's okay.

Cooked, but like, I still don't want, you know, like cooked food. No, just, just put it over there. Put a part of the dog that has the boner that's on the sand over there. He's like, okay, whatever you want. She was, thank you. And he's like, all right. Now you got to let people who micromanage think they're in charge. But I've been doing this a long time, three stripes, one stripe, three stripes, one stripe. And he's about to lose it. But I have to say, Fraser has created a monster. The fact that we're siding with anybody over this chef, this chef was hired, he was literally cast to be the biggest pig on TV, and we're on his side.

This is sad. Yeah. Also, you can tell this is someone who's worked long enough that he's like, oh, here we go again, another micromanaging underling. It's fine, I don't care enough, I'm just making sushi. I just, you know, you sort of like when you just know, like honestly, this, talk about Hills that are not worth dying over is like where to put the plate of

ingredients. So he's like, whatever, do what it takes to get to the next meal. Yeah. He's saying that, but he's getting so mad. I mean, he is getting so red faced and mad. So he's certain he's like, okay, she says, what are we having? He says sushi and salad. It's just what are you going to play date? Because I don't want to have to walk around with the tray for 10 minutes asking people what they want over and over again. And then calling me back to what's your job, though, I hate to break it to you. Oh, you're

literally a server. I mean, and I love Paris. This is making me crazy. I feel like they're doing this on purpose just to fuck with, with odd. Well, I think, but I think the reason why she's sort of having this attitude right now is cause Fraser said like be on top of this guy. Like he's going to try to like take the easy way out and you have to be on top of him. So I think she's like, I'm going to say this to make sure that he stays in line because that's what her

directive was. And I was like, well, you know, if I would have known that I would have done it straight away, but it is what it is. So he plates it on the rectangle plates, by the way, with a little salad and Paris says, yeah. And so Paris is like, Fraser told told me the whole plate on the beach. It's going to be plated. So that's what we're going to fucking do. So he's like, I'm leaving, I gotta get back. And so he serves the sushi and goes, because she tells him she won't let him get the dessert ready. He has creme brulee.

And she's like, no, we haven't even served mains yet. Like, what are you doing? I was like, oh my gosh. Well, he's obviously not been schooled yet. Like she is at the end of this episode. Right. But she's like, wow. And she's like, no, actually, it's not that he's like, I have to get back. He's like, he starts working

on the desserts, I guess, because he wants, he wants to get back. And she's like, well, we haven't done mines yet. So I'll hold back on desserts. And so he's like, whatever. Paris wants to take over. She fucking can't because she even says like, I can do this. Don't worry. Cause he says I've got to go back. And that's what I'm doing is now because well, you know, if it's just like torching the top of it, I can do that. And that's why he's like, I can do this. Don't worry. Cause he says I've got to go back and that's what I'm doing is now. She goes, well, you know, if it's just like torching the top of it, I can do that. So that's why he's like, you know what? If she wants to take over, she can. I don't want to have an argument in front of the guests.

Yeah. So then, and he's like, I don't have time for this fucking shit. So he leaves and, um, then she's just complaining. She's like, Oh, he wants to do family soil. I'm sorry. Maybe this is lie. I was sorry, maybe the Sizzler. I was surprised she knew about Sizzler. I didn't know Sizzler had made it out of America. Oh, I'm so proud of them.

God, guys, we did it. So then Zandi calls her brother and has a moment and giving him shit for his mustache. And we find out about her. And she had to shelter her brother because her parents were always fighting. And so when they fought, they would watch the Simpsons together and friends. It's a lot of fighting.

And I was sad. I was really sad. By the way, speaking of Sizzler, et cetera, when I mentioned Sizzler, it made me think about how so many Sizzlers have closed And I have to share some tragic news, which is that it came out today that Red Lobster is closing a huge number of their stores. They are, almost all of them are going away. And I just wanna say, I'm really distraught about this.

We're going through that moment right now. You know, a lot of Applebee's closed, I heard. So that's a thing. Things are just, you know, good old standbys or buys. They're not even stands anymore. They're just buys, goodbye. I can't have Red Lobster go away. I cannot have that.

Well, then you need to support them more, Ben. Because you know once every year, and now they're dead. So you know what? Well, maybe if they open one closer. They should have fed it more. They need to open one closer to Hollywood, California. Like you have to go so far to find a Red Lobster. It's very frustrating. Cheddar biscuits are outlawed in West Hollywood, sir.

Are you going to just change the entire law system? Okay. I know there used to be a Red Lobster on La Cienega and Wilshire. Fun fact. Look what happened. It was fire pond because it turned into a bank. The people of Beverly Hills were like, we are not going to have this here. We need money here. Put the bank in. I want cheddar dollars. I want cheddar Benjamins. That's what I want. So she does the, okay. So she's doing the... So Sandy had some childhood.

Yes, Sandy. Yeah. I mean, look, none of this was great, but when my parents fought, I would watch my parents, not the TV. I was like, this is like live theater. I love it. It was like, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? So the kids are talking. Okay, so one of the kids, this family is cracking me up.

One of the kids goes, yeah. I wasn't really a fan of when we had bear. And the dad goes, when did we have bears? Just Sweden, dad. Oh, Ronnie, I forgot to tell you. I made a reservation at an all bear restaurant this week for dinner for us. Is that a thing?

Please tell me about that. No, I love that. I love that. I can't tell if you're kidding. I can't tell if you're joking. Of course not. We're not going to a bear restaurant. You're like, wait, are we eating bear for dinner? Why didn't they serve bears or if it was like gay enough that they only cater to bears, you know, it's like,

yeah, that's family. They did not like bear. The Yelp reviews are in and bear got two stars. Swedish bear got two stars from these girls. Oh, so they ate bear. That's what they're talking about. Is that what you mean? What did you mean? What did you think it was?

I thought they were, I didn't know what it meant. I thought they were saying, I wasn't a fan of when we had bear like meaning a pet. Like, remember that dog bear, I didn't like it. And then the dad was like, when was that? And they were like in Sweden, dad, like maybe they lived in Sweden. We had a Sweden, remember when we had a-

They ate bear? Yeah, they ate bear. Oh, bears are tough. Are they tough meat, do you think? I imagine. I feel like bear meat is not amazing. I'm sure it's fine. It's probably just not amazing.

I haven't heard a lot about bear meat. I'm not sure. I feel like maybe the reason why bear is not farmed a lot, or we don't eat a lot of bear is because it's probably so dangerous. That's terrifying. Who wants to eat that? Who wants to eat a war show?

You can't keep bears in captivity. You can't eat all the sharks. You can't keep cows in captivity. We don't eat things that wanna eat us back, right? Like we don't eat sharks. But will people eat sharks? I just mean they're not want to eat us back, right? Like we don't eat sharks. I just mean they're not like popular to eat, you know? Do we eat things that want to eat us back? I'm sure there's some of the fish might want to eat us back.

I'm sure some of the fish would bite us. Everything would bite us really, to be honest. Yeah, everybody hates us. So literally other humans. I mean, we're Americans, so literally everybody wants to buy this. Okay. So we're going to find out next week.

Can't wait. Okay. So Paris is like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, crumb relays, bears, eating bears. Okay. So the chef returns to the boat and the captain's like, feed five foe from, I smell the blood of an English man. Thought I was going to say something in Turkish, didn't you?

I didn't go on the beat. I didn't go on the beach. I didn't go on the beach. Listen, here's what I did over here. I went up to this boat's equivalent of Somali pirates, pillows with their zippers up, and I said, get your fucking zippers down before I take out a big light, and start you in fire, and throw you to the sharks.

Got it? So the shepherd's like, well, you know, I thought it was gonna be a spread but I got there in Paris being Paris you know so I just let her do however she wanted it so Carys like hmm so Paris changed it yeah she changed it and at the end of day it's on me if they complain it's me that's that's in the shit not her so anyway if you're done I feel like that was an ample casual throwing her onto the bus and just go take a dump in the head. Well he's got three stripes. If he comes to the beat, they need to adapt to him, not the

other way around. And so the chef's like, well, if there's bad feedback, it's, you know, it's because of her, right? Now I wanted to get crack on for tonight. And he's like, Oh, I get it. My brother in adventure. I get it. So cut to Barbie making drinks. And she goes, um, we need a bit of fizz in these drinks because the white girls love fizzy things. Dilly goes, Oh, white girls love a fizz, baby. So then the chef is, uh, he's like, well, these guests want fancy suppers. Guess what? They're going to get cured. Wahoo, grilled octopus, nice colors. Maybe I'll reach out to my friend,

the dinosaur supplier, get a half rib of saber tooth tiger. Well, all that stops. So then Sunny banner flirting and he's like, she's like, you're hot. And he goes, why am I hot? She says, me? Why me? I'm just so happy. Look how happy I am with you flirting with everybody right in front of my face.

Isn't this fun? Let's make out. So they make out and he's like, yeah, Sunny and I from a week ago is totally different from the Sunny and I today. I think the space is working in our favor. I really like this girl. Could this be the magic formula? Yeah. She's letting you do whatever you fucking want to. Yeah. The magic formula is that you fuck with her and you do something humiliating,

like post how much you miss your ex on Instagram, make her feel crazy, and then you get some space, then she comes crawling back. So the answer is I guess that is the magic formula. Well, listen, whatever, whatever works for you. Whatever works for you two crazy kids. They go into the bathroom and bang. So then Paris and Fraser are talking. So she comes back and she's like, he didn't come to the beach, bitch.

And he's like, was it that bad? Tell me, how did he do? I gave him two red balls. Did he have a heart attack? I was praying for it this whole time. And she goes, it was embarrassing. You know, he left and he wants us to go around and serve it and I said we're doing it. No, we're doing it on plights. And then he left. So I had to do everything. Is this like some kind of sick joke? I'm like, you had to do everything because you said you go back, I'll do I can

prepare the desserts, you can go. And now she's like, I had to do everything. Oh, yeah. And he's like, Oh, God, no, it's not a joke. Unfortunately. So now the captain and Fraser are having dinner together in the mess. And he's like, so was there some confusion on the beach today how lunch was being presented and he's like um hmm issues issues no new dramas no tragedies and that's all that matters all i really care about are the guests the very very wealthy family of guests that's all i care about if they're happy i'm happy and he's like fraseless being coy with me he's not telling me everything. I'm a little concerned. Or as they say in Turkey, biraz endisillium concerned, a little concerned. So he's like, Fritz is like, you know, if they're happy, I'm happy. It's like, oh, well, we're going to deal

with this later. So now everyone's getting ready for dinner and they're setting up a casino night and everything and the fish is coming out and everything. Everything looks like really good. setting up a casino night and everything and the fish is coming out and everything. Everything looks like really good. And the mom is like, so captain today lunch on the beach, we had four meats. What an amazing chef. Also, my daughter narrowly escaped death when a coconut almost hit her on her head. Next time tree try better next time. I'm just joking, sweetie. It was a hybrid coconut. No, honey, the trees are hybrids. Just be quiet, please. So he's plating the grilled octopus

and he does like a purple schmear of something. I don't know what it was, but it was very pretty. And I think he's doing it to try and please Frazer in fucking Paris because he's like making it colorful. And I don't know, he seems to be making some kind of effort here. And I mean, I think his food has all looked decent actually, but it looks really pretty.

So Paris and Fraser are looking at it like, can you believe this disgusting non-awful food? And Paris goes, definitely needs a drizzle. Oh God, I can't. I'm like about to freak out for him. I want to hate the chef, not you. Please stop messing with my brain. He's like, I don't have the time or the patience right now

for Paris's shit. And it feels like she's trying to take control of the galley. It's not her job. She's like, do a little grain drizzle for me. Come on, little drizzle plies. Come on, little extra drizzle plies. Little drizzle, little drizzle, little dottery in the soil. It's a little drizzle.

So he's like, if the garnish doesn't make sense with the dish, it's gonna look weird. I don't tell you how to scrub toilets at the end of the day, stick to that. Now you remember when this happened on Below Deck Down Under, when Boston Chef told Asa this, pretty much the same thing. I want Philly Chef, I wanted to murder him.

In this case, I'm like, okay, well, I'm kind of on your side this time. And I hate that. I am more on his side, but I still don't love when chefs say this, like, I don't tell you how to scrub toilets, because I do think it's actually so rude to do it, even when you're in the right. But he does do the drizzle. He's being pushed. And he's not saying it to her. You know what I mean? The other chef was saying it to Asha. He was like, you have to scale your job as shit. Where this guy is like trying to be nice to her face

and then saying it all behind her back on the camera to stay professional, I guess. Now we've already seen him be a total pig with her last week when he was like, in my third favorite with her. Or like, don't be careful with that mayonnaise. You don't want to get fat or whatever that, that wrong. Don't blame.

Don't you only have yourself to blame. So this is just a reminder basically that even terrible people can be right occasionally and you don't have to get a phone call to celebrate them. You know what I mean? A broken clock is right twice a day. Well, here's the thing is this is that he ultimately does the green drizzle

and it looks fine. Honestly, I really didn't. I was ready to be like, Oh, it looks so garish. It actually looks nice. And then I'm like, really? They were really arguing over this. Like it would have looked fine without it. It looked fine with it. I couldn't even tell if I liked it more or less, but I just couldn't believe they were having a whole fight over it. Ultimately it's just the, it's just the overstepping

and the constant trying to undermine him for no reason and fucking with him, you know? It's not really about the green. It's that the stuff never needed the garnish in the first place. It's all from Frazer's crazy little head because he needs to assert some fucking power. It's just weird.

Yeah, I think that Nick is just sort of the guy that in Fraser's past, Fraser's been tormented by guys like Nick or just resents people like Nick. So as soon as he sees Nick, he profiles him in a certain category and is already like, walls are up. Walls are up. So- I think he's just that kind of guy who needs conflict constantly at work to make him feel like he's good at his job.

If he's just that kind of person who's always complaining about how terrible other people are at their job, because it elevates him in some way. He's done it with an employee. He's never had a moment on this show where he hasn't been talking like this about somebody else. It's always somebody else sucks at their job, and they're not listening to me, and they would be so much better if they just listen to me. It's a big fault if you're gonna be a leader. He's not great at it, but I kinda do, just because I'm shitting on him constantly,

I do kinda like in a way that we're watching someone get trained because Captain Carey's pretty good at training him. He tells him flat out what he's missing, and so maybe he'll get really good at it eventually. But right now- Maybe, but next season I demand Faye to come back. No, he's back for next season.

Already? Yeah. Why can we not get Faye again? Why is it so hard? Faye had a baby, she was out again. I know, but like the baby's gonna be like one and a half, so basically like it's independent. You can squeegee now.

This baby has learned to squeegee. Babies, if you're a baby, put your hair up, please. So. I will only come back on this boat if I can have my model photographer come with me. His name is Baby. Baby. Baby, before you go on service, baby,

you need to have a full face of makeup and your hair set. Thank you, it's called service. Baby, would it kill you to just have a little eyeliner on? Captain Garry, I'll be pleased to be your first due again, but you will have to understand that my baby will have to be on board as well. Thank you. Huge opportunity missed.

I need Faye in my life constantly. I even love following her on Facebook. She's like, click me, have a baby. I love it. No, I think that like, Faye and Kate Chastain can babysit for each other. So Faye, like Kate can like, Faye just drops off her baby with Kate.

Kate's got two babies now to take care of. And then Faye does her thing. And then Faye can take care of Kate's baby while Kate goes off on, I mean, look, Kate was able to do the traders. Faye can do care of Kate's baby while Kate goes off on, I mean, look, Kate was able to do the traders. Faye can do below deck, okay? Okay, yeah, I'm with you. So whoever was babysitting for Kate, babysit for Faye.

Whoever needs to hear this, listen up. Babies don't know you, okay? Think of your first memory. I was at least two or three. I was sitting on an ironing board. My mom was chain smoking and talking on a corded orange phone or corded yellow phone. I remember that. Sitting on an ironing board. That's my first memory. Do you think that that's like a memory of great mothering? No. Okay. Who sits their child on a fucking ironing board? Like seriously. But you know what? That was, I couldn't

even resent her for it because I was only like two or three. I mean, I didn't, she could have done anything. She could have had me in a fucking washing machine before then and I wouldn't know the difference. Go live your life. Bravo stars. Okay. Drop that baby in the washing machine, put the baby on an ironing board and go do a season. We need you back, Faye. Strap the baby to a sea bob. Let it have fun out there on the waves while you go and serve mojitos. That's it. Totally. Bring back Faye. Hello there! This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry dot com slash survey. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician, and I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid.

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