Watch What Crappens - #2432 Below Deck S11E16, part 1: Cabin Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

This is part one of a two-parterOn Below Deck (S11E16), Captain Kerry calls for a cabin check, but Ben has other plans. Also, Barbie needs a break.  Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip hop and fables meet. Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a Beat. Check it out. Watch What Crappins! Watch What Crappins! Watch What Crappins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins? Watch What Crappins! Watch What Crappins!

Oh, I need my feet! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins? Watch What Crappins! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

Well, hello Ben, how are you? Oh, I'm just doing fabulous. Hey, good to see you. Yeah, your voice is so bassy and resonant this morning. Do you like it, Ben? It's the new me today. I love it. It's the new calm. Collected me. Just glad to be here. That well you know what I'm glad you're calm and collected but I've got a

larger question for you. Have you cleaned your cabin? Because it's Cabin Chick Day today. It's quite an adventure. Cabin Chick. Doing a Cabin Chick Day you the disrespect. So all season on Below Deck I've wondered what could have possibly happened between Ben and the captain for Ben to get so bitter and come for the captain all season on the Instagram, make shitty little comments and he didn't wanna clean his room. I mean, really at the end of the day,

it was all because the man didn't wanna clean his goddamn room. Like the child that he is, the fucking man baby that he is. Wow. Yeah. Wow. All he has to do is make his bed, make his bed and put his clothes in the drawer where they should be anyway.

How dare you? You're not my daddy. Yeah, no, this is ridiculous. This guy, Ben, is really, he is just so terrible. He's so entitled about everything, whether it's relationships or just his job. It's frustrating to watch, but it's good. He's so entitled about everything, whether it's relationships or just his job. It's frustrating to watch, but it's good. It's good to have a villain on the show. But before we dive into it, just a reminder that this Friday, we have a sold out show in London.

And if you are coming, we are recapping Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, a season five episode called Amsterdam, which is their trip to Amsterdam. I watched it last night in prep for the show. It is so funny. This fight is so good. This episode is so good. We're going to have so much fun doing it on stage. So everyone make sure you do your homework. And even if you don't, you'll still have a great time. And then on the next night, it's going to be in Dublin. And we are recapping Real Housewives of Orange County when they go to Ireland, Shamrock, and ashamed. Is that what?

Why can I never remember the name of that episode, Ronnie? I don't know why I have this mental block. But I know the third one, the third one is the case of the Vickies in Iceland. That's for Birmingham on the 29th. But for some reason, I can never remember the name of the Ireland episode in OC. I don't have to because it's not my day.

You don't have to. Exactly. But the point is this. In other words, I don't remember either Ben. So I don't look down upon you, Ben. Okay. Well, we all know it's, by the way, it's on our Instagram at watch what crapens. Shamrocks and something. Shamrocks and shellac and shamrocks and shamrocks and shakes and dookies Jam and shakes would be the best name for it. So you're all look it up. I'll be I'll be professional I'll go on to our Instagram right here on our watch or crap and slide you guys can see my phone But it's gonna be really fun and tickets are still available for those shows. So I think that they are low So go to watch crappies calm for your tickets. That's also where you find links to Instagram, yes, but also Patreon.

You can support us on the Krapens on Demand level and you can watch us, which is really fun. We're in our hotel rooms at the moment here in London. And our bonus episode this week was super fun. We recorded it in the airport in Sweden and we basically talked extensively about our time at the Taylor Swift concert. So if anyone wants to hear our perspective on going to a Taylor Swift concert together,

be sure to listen to that bonus episode because we had a riot at the show, but we also had even more of a riot recording our episode. Yeah, sure did guys. It was fun times. Taylor Swift, the Ad-Has tour. Ad-Has. Yeah.

So guys, let's get to this below deck episode, shall we? That's enough, that's enough Hoobly-Doobly starting party. Hoobly-Doobly. We've had enough of a starting party. Yeah, that's enough of a starting party. Let's get to it, man. I just pinned, by the way, I just pinned our European information on our Instagram.

So it's the very first thing, very first post. So if you are wondering what those shows were, et cetera, it is going to be up information on our Instagram. So it's the very first thing, very first post. So if you are wondering what those shows were, et cetera, it is going to be up there on our Instagram. All right. Okay, let's do this. It is six and a half, it's 6.30 AM, 5.4 hours before Charter. Chef Nick is in bed, Dylan's above him in his bed. There's loud snoring going on because Barney rubble in a Fred Flynn Fred Flintstone in a Barney rubble

Body is snoring like a Flintstone curtains are shaking in dinosaurs being woken up across the land Snoring is loud Dylan can't take it so he wakes up the chef and calmly says bro Your snoring is very very loud. The chef wakes up and chef and calmly says, bro, your snoring is very, very loud. The chef wakes up and says, I'm not asleep. You cannot coax snoring out of a person by being kind. Snoring requires abuse and a pillow over the face. I don't know who taught Dylan that being polite would get rid of snoring, but that's not how snoring works.

I would think that Dylan would want to burn an extra four calories by swinging a pillow across chef's face Apparently he was gonna withhold If you're gonna snore could you snort a little bit? Harder, maybe get some fat off my belly. I Really like the way you're snoring. You really like seizing the day, but it's like keeping me up Chef Nick says I'm not asleep. Okay, I don't like when people are snoring deniers. I think it's hilarious when people are like, I don't snore.

And then someone says, you actually did snore. And they're like, I don't snore. It's like, how are you the judge on this one? Did you record yourself sleeping? Because we are hearing you. Well, technically he did not say he wasn't snoring. He said, I'm not asleep. Meaning I'm not asleep, meaning I'm not asleep

because you just woke me up, you fuck. So he was just, he's just making like the sounds of a humidifier for fun. It's not snoring at this very second, because he woke him up. He's like, I'm awake. I just gargle as my love language. Gargling of my love language. Yeah, the chef, you know, snoring is serious. It ruins marriages.

I have a friend whose marriage was ruined partly by snoring because the husband was snoring and refused to do anything about the snoring. And the wife was like, please do something about all these different remedies for the husband to try. He's like, I hate this, and I hate that, and I hate this anti-snoring thing, and I hate that anti-snoring thing. And then denied the anti-snoring method so much that the wife is like, you are now denying my happiness with your anti-snoring stance when you're the snorer.

I'm the victim here, you're not the victim. And they are now divorced. So let me just say, if you have snoring issues, take care of those issues because guess what? You're affecting the people around you. Okay. It's like people with babies. And that lady's name is Dorit Kemsley. So it's like, ladies and gentlemen, Berlin. I had $10,000 in me purse and PK slored it right up into him.

Not the 10K. At first, PK was receptive to solutions because when I said, you have sleep apnea, he thought I said, you have sleep snacknea. But it turns out when he realized what I actually said, he was not quite so thrilled. So then, you know, everybody's waking up because it's the morning and that's what you do in theory.

And so- I'm not sure I've actually achieved that myself, but even though I'm talking. I don't really understand what that's like. I wake up at like 11 o'clock at night. I'm like, oh my God, I'm ready to live. Then I make a to-do list of like everything I'm gonna accomplish in life. I'm like, I can write a book.

I'm gonna have a music career. I'm gonna be in finance. And then I make this list of goals and then it's over in 45 minutes and then I'm miserable the rest of my life. I go to bed and then I wake up miserable again until 11 o'clock the next night. It's a vicious, vicious cycle

of 45 minutes happiness in one day. So Chef Nick, speaking of vicious cycles, Chef Nick walks into the kitchen night. It's a vicious vicious cycle of 45 minutes happiness in one day. So chef Nick's being a vicious cycles. Chef Nick walks into the kitchen, uh, before his, you know, he's getting ready. And then we see on the deck crew, there's a deck, there's going to be a deck meeting and men's like, all right, shot of number nine guys, last one. As you can see, the preference sheets, the primary has just been divorced and she's celebrating her 50th birthday so they're gonna drink and so cause of Jesus Christ and basically they're talking about there's a Reiki practitioner that's coming in and Kyle Kyle's like oh me best friend my best mates mom is a Reiki healer and she's like oh really? He's like yeah I've done Reiki a couple of times. And by Reiki, I just mean lifted up my kilted head.

That's what Reiki is, right? Well, I've definitely gotten me bum burned by a hangar before. I've still got the question mark scarred on me ass for Reiki night. Yeah, so Kyle explained some of why he was doing Reiki. He's like, oh, it was just at a point where I guess I was looking for a little bit of healing, you know, it opens up the emotions in the head and I've grown a little bit more, you know, I'm ready for new experiences like ashing out a pipe not on the floor, but maybe in a tray. I don't know. We have new things. Once in standing still, move forward. Always move forward.

All right, you know what, Kyle, I like you, but I don't like the kind of advice you're giving to the country right now, all right? Standing still is perfectly fine, figuratively and physically, I believe in standing still. So anybody who needs support, please stand still more, okay? We don't need more people moving around. Have you looked outside?

That's all anybody's doing is moving around. Stand still for fuck's sake. The movie is not called Walk and Deliver. It's called Stand and Deliver. I have to say, by the way, are we starting to suspect that Kyle is just an AI generated deck? Don't stand either, I hated that movie too. I don't like stand, stand by me, don't even sit by me. Just sit.

Let's make the movie called sit seated. That's it It's not called Steven the walk. It's called Stephen King's the stand I don't even want that. I want the city or the courtroom You know, I take a walk wouldn't have gotten infected at the end of the world if they'd kept walking around if they had stopped standing up and if If someone just sat down, they never would have gotten the virus. Who's gonna give it to you? You're not gonna be around anybody else. Everybody else is out there walking,

getting the fucking virus, dying. I like that your central premise was like, when he says there's no point in standing still, you say, yeah, you should stand still because I don't wanna walk. So then I said, yeah, it's not called walking, it's called standing. You're like, I don't wanna to stand. I want to sit.

It's like, it's like you scolded. I said, well, you missed the part. Cause I said, it shouldn't be called stand. It should be called, it shouldn't be called whatever. It should be called stand. And then I said, no, not even stand sit. I don't like to stand either. Just sit.

Okay. That makes much more sense. Either way, what I was going gonna say was that I really do- Listen, I've been standing a lot this week, standing is bullshit and I don't approve of it. And you know what, I'm knock kneed. And knock kneed people are not meant to stand for a long time. Our legs are already going like this.

Do you know how much pressure is on my knees? I'm gonna crush, I'm gonna crush down, okay? I'm physically not built to stand or walk. I'm meant to just be seated with my legs crossed. We're just gonna get you like a little, like a little, like a little, like Dolly and you can sit on it, we'll push. I would love that.

But I do think that Kyle may be our first like AI generated decan because I feel like everything he says has been like, came out of chat GPT. Like two weeks ago, he was like, oh, it turns out I'm going to go to Wyoming for a year and a half because I want to discover because apparently I'm Native American. And this week it's like, oh yeah, I do reiki healing. My aunt, my mother's friend is a reiki healer.

And next week it's gonna be like, oh, one thing that's funny is that I actually won a championship in tomato jam. Yes, I can make it. I don't know what the accent's like turning very strange right now, but. He just always has something random to add. Was that what he had?

No, I'm just saying, it's like every week it's something random with him, like a random insight into his life, and nothing seems to ever make sense with anything else. It's like, oh yes, I am Torino Talfer. He's like a blue-ribboned tomato jam maker. But he'll probably say that next week. He's like, I love tomato jam.

All I'm leaving is sitting down. Sitting down, sitting down. That's all I want to do. I'm like, whoa, wait a minute. That GPT has hurt me. Okay. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I only did one of our classic exhale and okay comments.

Okay. Okay. So, uh, so Xandy's in the guest room placing trash bags as she does and provisions guys, it's provisions. arrived and they did them. So now Dylan and Barbie are talking. And Dylan's like, Bob's. And she's like, oh, what's up, Dylan? He's like, oh, your biceps are looking really swollen. I'm like proud of you.

And she's like, OK, thanks. Like, give it a damn, girl. Give it a flex. Let's give it a flex. You see a bicep. Looks like you've been washing off your ham lately. Look at that. She's like, what? Give it a flex. Let's give it a flex. Is it bicep? Looks like you haven't you've been washing off your hand lately Look at that. She's like, um what give it a flex. Yeah, let me see your flex. Let me see your bicep. Yes Say um, you shouldn't really stop making fun of me because my dad's really rich

Serious look at your biceps flex those. Oh my God, you're putting fat on your face. Get the fat off your face, that's calories. It's a mascara. Yes, but mascara calories can get into your eyelids. I don't know if you knew that. So she's like, have you been doing your workouts? I guess this is what I have to talk to you about because I'm not normally supposed to talk about workouts.

My dad's very conservative. And he's like, no, not to be liking. Like I normally let you drink for like two hours every day, single day, but it's like therapy, you know? It's like, yeah, we do. Because it's all you talk about. And it's all you've been talking about for like five months on this show.

Also, let me tell you what else is like therapy. Therapy. You should try that. You know what's like therapy? You not talking to me right now. This is some things you don't have to replace. Therapy is one of those things. Don't replace therapy with something else.

Go to therapy, you know? Yeah, he's like, yeah, I put in my AirPods in and then I like gym and then I feel happy. And I'm like, just I'm happy now. I'm doing my cardio. Congratulations for being the first one to observe that you can find some sort of meditative qualities out of working out.

You're a real, real pioneer there, Dylan. Well, you know, he's also equating being mentally okay with just being skinny. He's like, look at me, I'm skinny. I can walk up steps now. It's like, well, congratulations. You still need to go to therapy. You're clearly, you've clearly got issues. If you ever, if this, if you ever needed a sign that this man needed some serious therapy was when Barbie goes, you know, you're always happy. I've never seen you not happy.

He goes, yeah, and even if I'm not happy, I won't ever show it on the outside. Sounds great. Sounds like a real healthy coping mechanism you got there. Excited. Unhappiness shows on the outside through fat. I would never ever show fat. I would only cry if I could cry out fat. I would never, ever show fat. I would only cry if I could cry out fat. Growing up, my dad was very hard on me.

Like I had not even gotten academic grades of all the other kids. So I was like bullied by kids. And it really killed me from the inside out. And I have no pain from that whatsoever because now I wash fat off of hams. I wish, you know, they put up pictures of Dylan on the screen. He's like a chubby, sweet looking boy. I mean, the same, he looks the same, you know, they put up pictures of Dylan on the screen. He's like a chubby, sweet looking boy.

I mean, the same, he looks the same, you know, just like a chubby little boy and he's so cute and he's so sweet. And I wish I could go back and just tell that little boy, Dylan, don't ever work out. Here's what you need to learn. Cutting sarcasm. You're welcome. Now here's some M&Ms.

Exactly. So he says that he just learned that like, you know, he was really, he was bullied and he cut him from the inside out, but he just learned you can turn all of that into something positive. And that's why he goes, and that's why I'm generally such a happy person.

I'm like, are you a happy person? You rinse off ham to avoid like three calories and you talk about how you press all your feelings on the inside. I'm so happy I cannot stop being so happy. Please stop doing pushups on my towels. I'm so happy, I'm so happy. The only reason why I cry is because it gets

calories out of my system. Crying for its calories. I'm not crying because I'm sad. So, poor guy. So he kisses Barbie on the side of her head, you know, and then wipes off any excess calories that the hair might have left on his tongue. When he hits his head on the door. Oh, fuck. It was worth it to lose those extra calories to bonk my head. So now we have Fraser. He laid the body, burns calories.

Now you're just punching yourself on purpose. I gave myself a tube. Alright, so now we're at the bar with Fraser in Paris. So it's like, oh, look at you. So with Frasier in Paris So it's like oh look at you so sweet aren't you so has everything going with Nick Do you feel that there's any tension there? And if not, how can I provide some? Has he been snoring in the galley lately while he's been awake and making food? No, there's no there's no tension whatsoever. And he's like, oh, that's good. And by that's good I mean, that's absolutely terrible. that's good I mean that's absolutely

terrible we need some tension with chef Nick and he's like I guess he's staying up to the drama I guess well obviously Lace Charter me and Nick did not get along and we see flashbacks of them like fading but I definitely say what's on my mind yeah I have foot and mouth disease not to be confused with what echinitis get or kidney get, five penis and mouth disease it not to be confused with what Echinitis get, Echidna's get, five penis and mouth disease. It must be, you know, it's like, what's the time it just gets me in trouble. You've latched on to Echidna's dick, like Echidna's dick has latched on to five

vaginas at a time. Well what's not to latch on to? It's literally the most legible penis of all time. God gave me five legible fingers on each hand. Actually that's ten I guess. Because I can't really count. Eight fingers, two thumbs. All right two of them are opposing. That echidna can actually burn five times more calories than a human. So she's like, well, I guess my suggestions for a drizzle weren't very popular with the chef. So he wants a question burn. And then we get a montage of her being like, this needs a drizzle. This needs a bit of a drizzle, doesn't it?

Going forward, I'm going gonna stay in my own line. I'll keep my drizzle to myself. And if Nick wants to creation burn, it is what it is. Crash and burn with that lack of drizzle on a plate. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial. I'm Shimon Yai and I have a new podcast called The Competition.

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on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then it gets to Fraser trying to fill out a word with like gold letters and he goes, celebration is such a long word. So then Sunny and Ben are on the deck and Ben like wraps his arm around Sonny's neck from behind,

which I'm like, I don't know, they're just gross to me and sad and like terrible. And there's- It really is all of those things. It shouldn't be that way when you see someone hug. No. It's like when you see people hug in, when you see people being loving

in prescription drug commercials and you're like, oh, so manipulative and gross just gross to sell your you know disgusting prescription drug. It feels like a prescription drug hugger. I hate prescription drug commercials because they're always full of strange whimsy like balloons like Claritin. I mean Claritin does great work but like how many hot air balloons do we need? Like why do we, like what is that supposed to mean?

Like, oh good, I can go outside and look at hot air balloons. Come on. Yeah. So then, Sunny and Banner on the deck. Oh yeah, he's gross. Okay, so then we see Fraser doing his letter sign, whatever, you know, people working. And then Dylan is at the front of the boat

and he puts his arms out like the Titanic. And he's like, I need some girl, some girl to hold me. Somebody to hold me, I'm happy, I'm so happy. Oh, so fat and so fat and so fat. So fat. I'm the king of the, oh gosh, I've gained weight. I've gained weight. Push it down, Dylan.

Push it all the way down and on the inside don't let them see you cry. So, um, now Kyle and Sonny are- there's like a rat on the dock and Kyle and Sonny are just standing over it, giving it sort of a burial, but it's more like a- I'm like, just shove that thing into the water at this point. They're like, sort of like rolling it over slowly with a broom, naming it Ratatouille, and then they roll it over, it turns out it's a girl. Just please, please just put it in the water. It's been quite a week for rats on Bravo. So did you see the Kyle Richards rat video?

Well, of course I saw it, but the thing was this, the first thing I saw was your, you did like a little fun thing on Instagram where you put at least. That wasn't us. That was, um, was that Caitlin? That was Caitlin who works on our social who's amazingly talented. I will not steal credit for you, for me, Caitlin. Yeah. Caitlin does great work.

You're a diva and a star, Caitlin. She is wonderful. So she did a little video that put Lisa Vanderpump's face on the rat, but that was my first thing that I saw. I woke up and I saw that and I was like, I don't understand this because I had no context. I was like, I was like, okay, it's someone in a car and then Lisa Vanderpump is on the edge. I was like, wait, I don't get this. But then I saw that it was Kyle Richards had to have taken a video. Yeah. So for those of you who don't know what it is, Kyle Richards from Beverly Hills was in her car and taking just a video because she's Kyle Richards, you know, she's parked and like looking through her glove box and you have to video everything because

you never know, you know, who's going to be, you know, on your Amazon live asking questions. So then she turns around and there's a rat on her driver's side mirror. And it's just sitting there on the mirror staring at her. It's the cutest cartoon rat. I don't think I've ever seen a rat this cute. It was adorable, this rat. And it's just staring. And then she's like, oh my God!

And she's freaking out, cause she's got out. She's like, I'm a girl, I'm just scared to take everything. So she was doing that whole thing. I was dying laughing and it just keeps going. And then she goes, why? Why is it doing this to me? And the rest just staring at her. It was like the best moment Kyle Richards has ever had on the show or off the show.

Really well done. Well done to the rat. And now here it is. We see what happens when you fuck with Kyle Richards because here it is. I was gonna say you see what happens when you fuck with Carlton Gebbia because that was a long game spell that she did. She's like, Carlton Gebbia was like, you may have run me off this show,

but at some time when you least expect it, there shall be a rat on your mirror. Be careful who you call witchy poo bitch. Yeah, so that was from Carlton and now the rat's dead. So we see who's more powerful. Carlton may have witchery, but at the end of the day, Kyle has money, you know, money always wins. Money always means witches.

So now we are seeing Barbie allegedly- Sorry, that sounded like a threat to witches, didn't it? I'm sorry to any witch out there, it was not a threat. Sorry Ben, go ahead. Thank you, please support the witches. So Barbie... I support the witch community. You guys don't support the conditioner community, but you know, white rain aside, white rain

stock aside, I support you guys. Listen, at least they believe in, you know, eco-friendly travel. So at least their carbon footprint is pretty good. Although one can make an argument that like they're maybe like affecting the rainforest with all their broom needs. So Barbie is cleaning, allegedly cleaning. She's basically getting texts from friends. They're like, and she's like texting her friend Monica and Monica's like, hey friend I miss you, call me. And then Zandy's cleaning. Zandy's, you know, cause Zandy's always cleaning. I mean, Zandy is such a good stew. She is literally a chief stew. She's chief stew level

and she's been doing third stew stuff the entire season. She has a complaint once about doing laundry. She just cleans and does laundry and she has that little smile on her face. It's not a smile. It's almost like, you know people have like resting bitch face. She has like resting content face, but you know that like her content is also like hiding really like perfectly judgy feelings about everyone around her, like accurately judgy. So she's just doing her thing and Barbie is-

She's not hiding those feelings, are you kidding? I think the contentment comes from like, it's called contented bitchy face. Some of us are just content in our bitchy face. At some point you don't even have to feel bad about it or try and hide it. It's like, I'm just contented having a bitchy face. That's it.

That's what you can think of. Yeah, if you notice her lips kind of just curl upwards in this really adorable way. If you notice that they just curl up kind of like, I don't have to say anything right now because you're making yourself look stupid. You know? Okay, it's the look of a person.

Here's the best way I could describe it. It's like if you're at the bottom of the stairs lying down with your neck broken and you're looking up at the top of the stairs and there's someone just smiling at you and you just realize that person pushed me down the stairs and they're just giving you this smile like, you You deserved it. Yes, exactly every bit of that fall That's the smile she has on her face. She does. It's great. I'm like a contented bitchy face

I go get Botox. I'm like just make sure I still look mean. I want to look younger But I still want to look mean two things Did you close that away for me? did you post that photo yet that I took of you with your head wrapped in your jacket yesterday? Because I'm telling you, Ronnie, if you, yeah, it's an amazing photo. Ronnie does such a good straight face.

I don't mean straight and heterosexual. You just have a really good, here's my face, I'm not gonna smile, I'm just gonna give you just a straight on face, and it is so good. Like you really know how to serve face. You know why I was doing that? Because every picture of me is, because I'm always smiling.

I'm like, believe it or not, I mean, people who listen to this show must be like, fuck this guy, you know? But in real life, I'm fairly smiley most of the time. And so every picture I'm always smiling, the exact same thing. I look like a, I was gonna say a Barbie doll, but obviously I don't look like a Barbie doll.

Like a very withered Uncle Fester doll, but that's happy. And so I was like, I'm gonna stop smiling in pictures. So that's what you got, a very unsmiling picture. It was a great photo. Yeah, and what people don't realize, it was, we were in blazing hot sun. And so you wrapped your jacket around your head to protect your head as we were standing outside the Winston Churchill war rooms.

It's great context. So anyway- Who's been through the real war here? Who's been through the real war here, Winston? You were putting your head in its own private bunker. You have told a few people who to shoot, or me, who's been putting fucking, no one on his face for years now, and getting chemical peels,

and is now standing in the sun, about to age 20 years to see your fucking underground bedroom. I'm the one who suffered here. Where are people lining up to see my bunker? Well, as Myra Collier said, it was a lot, it was a tough time. He put his jacket around his head. That tour. Can I say something? That tour. The tour's going on fine. That

entire second half is like, now let's speak to Myra Collier again to find out what she remembers about the toilet seats in the bunker. I remember the toilet seats. We'd have to sit on them in order to go poo. And if we sat on them for too long, Winston Churchill would come on and say, get on with it. So we'd have to wrap up our business. And I remember one time I was in there and I was in there just a bit too long. And that's when we got bombed, it's my own fault. No matter what time of day it is,

or what was going on in the war, whenever he sat down on this toilet lid, Winston Churchill's cell phone would ring. Every single time. Finally he turned to on this toilet lid, Winston Churchill's cell phone would ring. Every single time. Finally he turned to me and he said, Can I ever shit in peace? I'm not sure about that audio tour.

That audio tour. Half of it was this lady. I mean, this lady is probably, I'm imagining one of the only surviving people from that bunker, which is why they interviewed her, which was great. She had amazing things to say, but they kept on the entire second half. Every time you thought you were ready to move out of the room, like now one word from my record, as she recalls what it was like to type on a typewriter. Like Myra, what do you remember about being stuck down here with all

these grumpy old men for days? I remember masturbation, helicopters onieners, and more masturbation. It was very disturbing. All right, Myra, jeez, enough. I think we've run out of questions for Myra, guys. Here's my question for Myra. I passed the little kitchen section. Okay, there was an oven, an oven, an oven, and an oven.

There were four ovens in there. Myra, where's the counter space? So we asked Myra Collier if she could recall what it was like to be in the kitchen. The counter space was very interesting. We actually didn't have any. So what would happen is that Ellen McDougall would have me get down on my hands and knees and place balls on my back.

And I became the counter. House Hunters, Winston Churchill's Bunker Edition. No counter space. Also I'd like more of an open plan. I'm not gonna open it. You know, I like this bunker. I just- All way oriented.

I would like a little bit more outdoor space. Well, it's a bunker. I know, but. Where am I gonna take my dog out? Really? Where am I gonna take my dog out? Really? Where am I gonna have my coffee in the morning? Certainly not on the counter. I'll tell you that.

My recalendar remembers what it was like to search for three different bunkers and choose one. Okay, so. By the way, anybody wondering if we're ever gonna talk about anything that means anything? Nope, no we're not. And welcome to the next three weeks of this show, okay? We don't even, we normally don't know

what we're doing on this show, but we're gonna be extra loony-dans from the next three weeks. Just come back, come back in a month. We really need to get on a new guided tour because this is two days in a row we've talked about Winston Churchill's. I know. I don't know what today has.

It's been the last 10 days. I haven't done anything since then. We did that, we recorded. I mean, we had dinner, that's done. It's been the last 10 days. I haven't done anything since then. We did that, we recorded. I mean, we had dinner, that's it. That's it. By the way, love all the cream in your food, London. Okay. I know.

Uh-oh. That's neither here nor there. Let's get back to the show. They are being very unfair to Barbie. I'm gonna stand up for Barbie here. They're giving Barbie a very late Hannah Banana edit where fucking Barbie, Barbie's working all the time too. Her hair's sticking out all over the place.

She's barely got time to talk about purses. I mean, the girl is working her ass off and now they're gonna come in here and be like, Barbie got a phone call. She's sending a text. She's not working. I'm like, sure, she's answering a text, but the vacuum is in the other hand.

You know what I mean? Like she's not out on a sun chair. Yeah, but you can't edit being 30 minutes for your shift. Like she was 30 minutes late. She was sleeping. It's not like she was 30 minutes late because she was off, you know, shopping. She was 30 minutes late because she was sleeping.

She didn't know. She wasn't asleep. And she was holding her phone in her hand waiting for the alarm, which she probably set incorrectly on purpose. But still. All I've got to say is that Barbie is, Barbie, there is, whether it's an edit or not, what we are say is that Barbie is Barbie we there is

Whether it's an editor not what we are seeing is that she's talking a lot on the phone and then she's like, oh my god I'm like working so hard like I need to like take like a rest and then just like yes, but like Take a rest but this has to get done this we have to we have to do this and then you can take your rest It's like no, I really need to like take a work like I need to take a rest I'm thinking I literally need to put on mascara. It's like, oh, it's a lot. It's a lot. She's like, could you maybe do it later? She's like, do eyelashes wait? They don't. Eyelashes don't know time. They just know that they're not, they're just not ready. They're not ready for the guests. So meanwhile, then Fraser and Captain Carrie are like doing a walk around doing like an inspection.

And you know, Captain Carrie is checking it out. He likes how things are looking. So meanwhile then Fraser and Captain Kerry are like doing a walk around doing like an inspection and You know Captain Kerry's checking it out. He likes how things are looking every day. It smells good in here, mate No, it's nice. My this is really good. Do I see any zippers on these pillows? No, I don't Wow This is a wonderful wonderful rim. Great job, mate. Great job Thanks cap. So then on the radio Ben is on on the Sunda... Okay, so Ben's like, Carrie, Carrie, Ben, yeah, mate. Hi, mate, I'm ready up on the Sundex. So he comes up there to check. And he's like, focus, Wendy, dude.

Somewhere Captain Sandy's just standing at her Netflix, like it's coming on any moment. Hey, hon, do you know when they released the new episode of Wind? Oh, by the way, congratulations to Captain Sandy on getting married. Captain Sandy's her gorgeous bride. Look at those two out there, married.

Nadine was their pre-shirt. A pre-shirt, mm-hmm. That was pretty adorable, you guys. Yeah, congratulations. Congratulations, Sandy. Congrats. I hope you're on a really lovely nappy moon, okay? Yeah, and I saw that Norma was a guest because you know, you got to have a table of sluts, am I right?

Hey. You gotta. I got married, so I had to bring something old, something blue, and something borrowed. All right, that's all Norma. Hey, you know, we had to have someone there to throw rice at. I mean, I know it's for the birds, but it have someone there to throw rice at. I mean, I know it's for the birds, but it's more fun to throw it at Norma.

It's just fun to throw rice and then watch Norma crawl all over the ground, put the back in her mouth. Norma really hates waste. Oh, the best part was when we tied a bunch of cans to Norma's feet and watch her walk out the church. And we wrote, we were going to write, just married on the back of her dress, but we knew that would never happen. So we just said, just farted. We took the just married sign and then in letters next to the jest, we wrote never. We wrote just married. And then we, for the the person walked behind and we wrote Matt

Just farted. So um so Captain Carey is doing his inspection of what? Just farted. It's just married we crossed it out and said Just farted. Instead of just married, we crossed it out and said, just farted. That is stupid. Funny, because it's true. So. So... So... So, Captain Carey is doing his inspections up on the deck.

So, Captain Carey is doing his inspections up on the deck. So, Captain Carey is doing his inspections up on the deck. We spoke to Myra Collier about what happened when she farted in the presence of Winston Churchill. We spoke to Myra Collier about what happened when she farted in the presence of Winston Churchill. Collier is like, I get it. Collier is like, I get it.

Winston used to do the same thing to me. Winston used to do the same thing to me. So Captain Carey is like, all right, once I get to the bottom of this, I'll do the same thing to you. So Captain Carey is like, all right, once I get to the bottom of this, I'll do the same thing to you. So Captain Carey is like, all right, once I get to the bottom of this, I'll do the same thing to you. So Captain Carey is like, all right, once I get to the bottom of this Winston used to do the same thing to me. So Captain Carey is like, all right, let's sharpen these up these drains. Ben's like, copy mate.

And I want us to be very organized about how tidy this is down here. Like I don't like how this looks right here. And that hose is that in that line needs to be neat. He's like, sure. And this is salty, dude. I mean, he's like, oh, Ben's just like, oh yeah. Well, you know, it's supposed, I guess it must not have gotten a rinse before it came in. He's like, no, no, neither. It looks like this boat's been on an adventure and no one washed off

afterwards. Yeah. So that just like Norma, talk about road hard and put away salty. So, uh, Captain Kerry is like, all right all right, do everything I just said, which is your job? All right, great to see ya. So he leaves and Ben's just like, he gives that like, rolly eyes where he like closes one eye and rolls the other one. He's just so smarmy and gross. Yeah. So then, it's like you just got a note man, just do your job. For crying out loud, it's simple. Rinse off your fricking boat.

How long does it take to rinse a boat? Like a little boat, like 30 seconds? Yeah, he's just slacking all over. As we see through the rest of the episode, it's not just this. He's got senioritis. It's literally everything he's being asked to do. And then he's getting to be like that, come on, calm down.

Like he literally says right now, he tells Sonny, so I guess I'm just gonna rinse things off every time then. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna rinse things off every fucking time? I know that and I don't do anything. I don't do any kind of work. Not only do I not work on that boat, I don't work anywhere.

And I still know you have to rinse shit off. Even I rinse myself off when I've been ridden that hard. You know, making effort. Yeah, if you're like the dishwasher and I find out that you're only washing the dishes every other time, I'm not going to be a happy person eating at that at your restaurant. So Ben's like, because he's starting to piss me off. And he goes, it's like Captain Kerry's got his knickers in a knot. It's the last chatter. And it's like, just come on, cap. Just chill out. I just feel like I have to bite my tongue right to

the end and just say, Yes, sir, let's get on with it. It's a bit annoying. Yeah, you literally have to say yes sir. That is your boss. And it's not a good look to be like, whatever, it's the last charter, who cares? I guess senioritis, I understand it, I've had senioritis before, but you're on TV,

you're doing your job on TV, you gotta do it perfectly. perfectly. Yeah, it's like he's just micromanaging. And I'm sick of it. I don't give a fuck if he's captain. You know, he's not a god. All right, fuck me, I just can't fucking win. No, it's not that you can't win, it's that you don't win. You like, choose to not win. Now go fuck your underlings some more, you fucking weirdo.

Gross. And Aaron O'Taker did point this out, that Captain Carey told Jared on his first episode that the Boson job is the job that he knows best and he's going to be harder on him than anyone else. So Ben should have understood that this was going to happen because Carey said that to Jared already early this season. So well observed. Yeah. Here comes one right now. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist.

And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly. On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a b****.

We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Dylan and Nick are in their bunk and Dylan's like, oh man, I'm losing so much fucking weight on this boat, bro. Check out my abs. He's talking to Rubble over there.

And Nick's just like, oh, for fuck's sake. Is that necessary? Bro, I can't hear you when you snore like that. He's like, I'm literally just talking to you. Oh God, my coffee cup. Please stop snoring. My coffee cup is leaking. It's like, Fuck off, just put that goddamn body away, you fucking horrible bastard. He's like, but I'm losing muscle.

He's like, go, go. Get me out of this discussion. All right. Sorry, I'm having an emergency here. What's happening? My coffee cup is leaking. It's like cardboard, and the cardboard is not strong enough to like hold the contents of My coffee cup is leaking. It's like cardboard and the cardboard is not strong enough to like hold the contents of this coffee cup.

So it is now weeping coffee and I have to chug this thing right now or else there'll be a massive puddle on my laptop. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. You talk while I chug. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Now I wanna watch you chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. That's the thing with everything being paper,

it disintegrates so quickly, you have to imbibe more quickly and that's gonna lead to war one day. We're gonna like try and save the world, but then people are gonna get so frustrated with their coffee spilling all over them. It's like someone's gonna like get frustrated and then be like, ah,

and then like hit the button to the nuke or something. And then it's gonna- We asked Myra Collier- We should have kept plastic. We should have kept it. We asked Myra Collier what it was like when the button to the nuke or something. And then it's just gonna- We asked Myra Collier- We should have kept plastic. We should have kept it. We asked Myra Collier what it was like when the world broke out of cardboard coffee cups. I have to say, honestly, the cardboard coffee cups

and straws here in England are really not very good. Cause we have them in LA and the States, it's not like this is a new thing. And they don't start leaking within 30 minutes of you getting your coffee. And I found that my cardboard straws here are all disintegrating. These are like-

You know why, right? This is my theory. I'm saying you know why, but I don't actually know. This is just what I'm making up and I'm gonna put it out there as the truth. I think that in America, we were like, okay, save the turtles, whatever, we're gonna do paper straws now.

But then people complained about the paper straws or maybe started choking on little bits of paper in their tea or whatever. And so the paper straw industry was getting in legal trouble. And so in America, we figured out how to make straws that are just as bad for you using some kind of plastic offshoot that's technically not plastic. And they're still killing the earth,

but they haven't been caught yet. Because that plastic's not, whatever they're doing, whatever they're making straws out of now in America is not right for the earth. It's no different than plastic. You can say whatever you want, that shit is not paper,

I don't know what it is, but maybe it's not plastic. You're calling it something else. I think they're just giving it a different name, and it's still horrible, and there's still gonna be dead turtles with shit all over them. There.

All I know is that when- Come for me, not plastic industry. Come for me. When paper straws first emerged, they were very fragile and they disintegrated very quickly. And nowadays, they really hold on for a very, very long time. And I feel like all the paper straws I've had while I've been abroad have disintegrated very quickly. And I feel like all the paper straws I've had while I've been abroad have disintegrated very quickly. And I feel like has paper straw technology not gone across the Atlantic? What's going on here? But to be fair, we come over here, their straws are disintegrating quickly. They come to America

and America is disintegrating. Yeah, that's true. Who's winning here? Who's winning? So anyway, so Dylan and Nick just talk about working out. Who cares? So then now the guests are arriving soon. Here come the guests, they're walking up and everything. And Captain Carey's giving them like a little bit of a,

like a pep talk. He's like, all right, guys, this is always chatter. We've had a long season, so let's make this the best chatter ever. I'm proud of everyone here. And you've all done a fantastic job, so I want a great hug before we start. So they do a little good hug.

And then we have this, there's this like, okay, so we have Trixie Monocle, but like Trixie, there's definitely like an artist that they have been going to. And like we joke about like every song is Trixie Monocle and like here's Trixie sounding like this, Trixie sounding like this. But in all reality, there is like a certain singer who has like some CD and they've been using her tracks like crazy on the show. She sort of has like a husky voice, but like high pitched.

And she's sort of like, ah, ah. She's like, let the money talk, hey, let the money talk, let the money. I think I'm over her. Are you over her if you have enough of her voice? Well here are the lyrics. I'll go back to Trixie voice, it's more fun. Music playing as guests walk up.

Oh that was actually just the direction. But that's okay. I worked the direction into my lyrics. Okay. Let the money talk, ay. Let the money talk, cause the money is say so. Euro pound, yen on the pace. I'm surprised they didn't rhyme Jeff Bezos with that.

It's basically like watching Sondheim work. Yeah. Basically, same Jeff. So this charter is sorority sister. It's a group of friends and they're mostly sorority sisters. So it's super exciting. It's all these ladies. And then we cut to Nick getting his head stuck

in his shirt as he tries to change his shirt. Yeah, so after they get on board, Nick is getting into his chef uniform, and he tries to do a shortcut by just pulling his button down shirt over his head, but he didn't unbutton enough buttons. And so his head just gets stuck in the neck hole. Been there and been there, especially with the sleeves where I'm like, I can fit my hands

through my sleep, my button sleeves. I can never might have you seen my hands? Look at my hands, Ben. They're bigger than my head. Okay. They're not going to fit through button sleeves, but I've, I still will try it a few times a year. I'm like, surely maybe my hands lost some weight and then I do it and then I'm like this and then I'm trying to unbutton my hands, my buttons with like two fingers and then my lazy shortcut turns into just minutes of me bumping into the walls.

Stupid, stupid person. So there's a boat tour and all this fun stuff and everything and then, you know, they're talking to this lady, Michelle, the she's the primary. And like she basically is like she's collected all these friends. They don't really know each other, but they're all just like spokes off of Michelle. And she's explaining that and Paris is like, oh, you know what? I would never go on a holiday with seven women. I mean, it sounds like a nightmare.

I mean, I could go two ways. It could be heaps of drama and they could all end up hating each other or it could be an absolute lit time. You don't know. I pray for the girls. Ha ha ha ha. Hope they enjoy a good drizzle

because that's not what they're gonna get this time. I'm keeping quiet. So then tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour and the girl, they're doing like sorority, hand signs or whatever. And then Zanty and Barbie are down in the crew area and so Zanty's like, all right, well, I think if he's done with the Sky Lounge,

I'm gonna start setting that. And Barbie's like, okay, awesome, so we'll do it together and then guess what I'm gonna need? Like five minutes, I'm gonna need like five minutes. Is that okay? Yeah, I'm gonna need that, I need that. I've been like running all day, it's crazy. Really? Really, you like five minutes. Is that okay? Yeah, I'm gonna need that. I mean it. I've been like running all day. Really? It's crazy. Really? Really? You need five minutes? Like why do you need five minutes? It's nuts. I'd like to cry about my dad. You know, he'd be like so disappointed if

I didn't take five minutes. My dad's like really into breaks. Do you think that maybe you could cry about your dad while you make a bed at the same time? Do you think maybe you could feed your your nursing baby Pepsi? No, not unless you wanted it to die. So that's my answer. Okay, well maybe you could just try to clean a toilet while you also think about your father instead of taking 35 minutes in your room crying? Perhaps? I don't know. You know that extra five minutes is the difference between, you know, coming up with the idea of carbonation and then just not coming up with the idea of carbonation. So do you think Coca-Cola's people didn't take five minutes when they needed it?

Answer your own question. Take a sip of that Coke, I dare you. Yeah. So Barbie, basically, she wants to put on mascara and Zandi is like not about this she's like she in fact she even says she goes I don't have words I think my face says it all contented bitch face who just pushed you down a staircase it's a rhyme listen I'm not gonna be for someone who's against a break to put on mascara. Like I can't, I know that I'm supposed to be like,

fuck Barbie, she's lazy, she wants to put on mascara. I see someone working a lot. You should get a break when you work. I mean, am I fighting for unions? Maybe, maybe this is just all because I care about unions. Fight for your unions, they're important. Yeah, so now we're on deck and Dylan is talking to Sunny. And he's like, oh, by the way, thanks for flicking the lines,

by the way. And she goes, oh, good thing I like doing my job. And he's like, no, that wasn't sarcasm. Like, you're going to have, by the way, you're going to have like big lats, girl. You have such big lats. This guy is like obsessed, like everything he equates to like working out and muscle growth,

it's actually getting out of control. And it sounds so patronizing and condescending to the women because he's going up to all the women today being like, oh, hello, look at you doing such a good job girl, look at you, look at you, the muscle girl. And he's coming off as just being gross but from what he's talking about in his own life it's like he really means it he's like no i'm trying to bond with you by saying you have lats why does nobody understand me i'm happy

i'm happy little boy dylan you you're going to be on late tonight. Yes. No, late. Why does everybody hate me? Oh, I was excited when they said I'd be on late because that's what he said. I'm going to be on lights. I'm going to grow big lights. Girl.

So then we, some of the guests are talking about going on Sem at sea. And then Xande and Fraser are like, are bringing luggage down. So this is like the task that the deck crew is supposed to do. But now Xande and Fraser are bringing the, are bringing the bags down to the rooms and everything. And Fraser's like, he's like, do you think the deck crew are free? And Xande is like, no, I think they're moving the boat, but they're probably not free at all and then of course we cut to Sonny and Ben and they're on the deck and Ben says well I could go to sleep right now and then so basically they're just like hanging out doing nothing up there yeah so then they're doing bags Zandy and Fraze and then we get some music. Now this is my favorite recurring song.

I thought it was a really sad song. Especially because they play it a lot when they're cleaning and I think it's an unfair song to play when people are cleaning. Because this is the one that goes, "'Please don't come and kill my vibe right now.'" They love this one. "'If you're not here for a good time, please get out.'"

And then they're mopping. I don't like that, but this one. If you're not here for a good time, please get out. And then they're mopping. I don't like that, but this one's more fun. It's like more fun things are happening. Yeah. So the anchor is getting lowered and it's 1 o' 9 p.m. Just in case you were concerned that this anchor went down at 1 10, just want you to know it was actually 1 o' 9. And then they're just like the guests are hanging out.

They're just enjoying themselves. And now we have Sonny. Please don't come and kill my vibe right now. I'm putting on mascara. So now the guests are on the sun deck. By the way, one of these guests is like, oh yeah, I've done this before. I sell the entire world in a hundred days.

Can I just tell that guest, stop and smell the roses? You know what I mean? You just passed up a lot of good croissant shops. Just relax, relax, relax, enjoy yourself. Okay, so Sunny and Ben are lowering the anchor and Captain Curry's like- There's a trauma. Sunny tells the radio, she's like,

okay, four shackles at the water line. And he's like, oh, okay, I said four on deck, but that'll be fine. Ben's like, what did he say? He said four on deck, but that'll be fine. Ben's like, what did he say? He said four on deck, not four at the water line. Oh, it's all right. Who cares? It's like, yeah, I did say four on the deck. The deck crew don't seem to see the bigger picture of why I've asked him to do something. The shackle on my deck may save us when we swing from hitting a reef.

So Sonny is like, I mean, is there really that big of a difference? And Ben's like, no, not really. It's like three meter difference and on deck it just means like it's here versus here. Right? And Ben tells us like, you know, it's the last charter and we've done so well, like let's cruise into the end of the season. It's like two fucking two meters difference. It doesn't matter. It's exactly what you want to hear from someone in charge of making sure your boat is anchored safely.

Okay, this guy's a real jerk. This is also just another example, two weeks in a row, of what happens when leadership is shit. Because look what he's doing, look what he's turning Sunny into with that example. And it's like what Frazier, because Sunny's like, I mean, does it really even matter? Yeah, it fucking matters.

Because the captain is saying it, are you new? Are you new to this? It's like last I mean, does it really even matter? Yeah, fucking matters. Because the captain is saying it. Are you new? Are you new to this? It's like last week when Fraser was, the past few weeks when Fraser's telling Paris, oh, you better tell the chef, you better disrespect the chef and tell him he needs to garnish. Go for it, do it.

And then she suddenly turns into like all day being like, oh, really? You're not gonna garnish that? Really? You're gonna send it out like that? Get your food off my bar. It breeds a whole, what am I trying to say?

Like a whole like waterfall of disrespect. That's not the word. But you know what I'm trying to say. It's like it opens a floodgates. It's toxic. And there you go, it's toxic. That's why you need to get good people to start. You can't put bends and,

I mean, Fraser at least seems to try to learn when he's getting told something. And it least seems to try to learn when he's get when he's getting told something and it'll be actually nice to see his growth. I mean, I guess. Fraser's not lazy. Ben is lazy. Right, but Ben, oh Ben. So yeah, so now Fraser's talking to the guests to find out what time they want to have lunch and then we just you know then he tells the chef and everything and then Barbie's feeling tired. And there's just a little stink scenes happening. We see Kyle go into a long, I'm like so mad about the shackles. I don't even know what shackles are.

Like I don't even know what parts of the boat these are, but I'm very upset about the shackles. And I'm at it sunny and I'm usually not mad at sunny. I'm usually mad at them because she's falling for Ben's bullshit, but I'm like annoyed mad at Sunny. I'm usually annoyed with Sunny because she's falling for Ben's bullshit, but I'm like annoyed with Sunny now. I like this feeling. I'm more mad at Ben, because he's just the worst.

So Kyle walks into the laundry room where Barbie is ironing and he's like, Sue, I just read the news about something. And she's like, oh my God, oh my God. You literally scared the shit out of me right now. Like, I guess I just have, can I have like 10 minutes? I'm going to put on more mascara because I was scared. And- Yeah, you were scared the shit out of me right now. Like, I guess I just have, can I have like 10 minutes? I'm gonna put on more mascara, cause I was scared. And- Yeah, you were like literally like undressed eyelashes

to me right now. Terrifying. Well, I changed my plate. And she's like, yay, to where? And he's like, well, we'll probably be on the same flight to Miami. Oh, oh, I'm excited. Are you?

Like she's so, it doesn't sound excited to me at all. He's like, who's you? She's like, I literally plan on doing nothing but sleeping and being embarrassed that my father might see me sleeping. Yeah. So it's like the first girl I was ever in love with was the whole high school sweetheart thing. And then me and her ended up traveling the world

for two years. And then, you know, we just decided together it, it wasn't right. We're both young. I'd like to show my dick at bowling alleys. She wanted to live close to schools. So that didn't really work out, but Barbie's rich. Yeah. Barbie is probably only the second person that I've really been like, yeah, I'll do anything you want. Except not show my wiener. So put on underwear.

That's a lot. That's a big one. Propost. It's like, I don't know. I'm going to hot iron so don't fuck with me right now. Right. Did you just kick me in my butt? That is a crazy, you just kicked a rich person.

So then, um, Fraser and Sandy are at the bar and there's like some guests there and stuff and he's like, Oh, Sandy, I'm so looking forward to hanging out with you when the season ends, my love. She's like, oh, me too. So you're not blocking me anymore? Because, well, I'm still considering it heavily. Well, I find that you, I'll find you, don't worry. It's like, well, I'll definitely block Barbie. Why is Fraser blocking Zandy? I don't understand Zandy's been like, there's been no issues with Zandy. I think he's just kidding. It's just you can't tell with Fraser, you know, it's like, wow, it has been lovely being such close friends with you. I can't wait to do girl things braid each

other's hair, skip through the meadows. Anything else in that? It's just like joyless. He's always trying to like display joy and he just can't do it, you know. So she's like, so how long do you think that Barbie and Kyle will last? He's like, they're being once Barbie will get off the boat and she'll be like, oh, I'm not like people who are not related to soft drink businesses. Oh, man, I'm a fizzy drink. That man is a non-fizzy drink. I mean, listen, he's not wrong, right? Yeah. So meanwhile, on the Sun Deck, Sunny and Ben are talking and Ben's,

you know, they're talking about Barbie and Kyle and if they're going to last and everything. And then it's like, and then Ben basically says to Sunny, he's like, you know, I want to see you too after this. And she's like, me too. And they're giggling and he's like, oh, you do. She's like, he's like, oh, my. So now all of a sudden, Ben has decided that he wants to like, pursue something with her, which I found to be so obnoxious. Like, he, he toys with this girl all season long, and then does this weird manipulation with Camille on social media, and then she has a reaction, and then he dumps her,

and then makes her feel bad. And now all of a sudden is like, I wanna be in a relationship with you essentially. I wanna date you. Like this guy, like, I feel like he, like, you lose the right at that point, but of course she's into it. She's like, oh my God, he wants me back.

Yeah, Ben's disgusting. I'm at that part of the season, like I've ranted and raved so much about how disgusting Ben is, that I'm just watching him peak in disgustingness, like it doesn't even affect me. I'm just done. Like I'm done.

I'm ready for him to go away. And then watching how gross he's been on social media since then has just been so nasty. And it just reminds me, be careful of who you put on TV because you really do empower gross people. And you make these people think they're hot because they're on TV.

They're like hotter because they're on TV. They have that hotness factor for like five seconds. And it empowers people that should never have had that power in the first place and they don't know what to do with it. And you just watch them spin out of control. You know, it's like people in books who get magical powers and they just can't deal with them. And then they become become they become fell side

Is that what that movie is called fell side fall side? Where it's like a little kid who becomes a super villain cuz he's a super powers and it just immediately becomes a villain He doesn't know what to do with them. You know, I'm the bad guy It's just funny cuz Sonny is like it just feels like we're back on track. It feels like nothing's confused now. We're both on the same page. I'm like, you're not on the same page. He's just like fucking with you now.

And I think he sees- Yeah, they're on the same page. He's going to treat you like shit and you're going to accept it. That's great. He's going to like heap abuse onto you and you're going to pretend you like it. So enjoy your shit sandwich. Thank you for stopping by the shit sandwich subway, okay? Enjoy that. Now you can pay me for the fucking pleasure.

Get out of here. Ben just realizes it's the end of the season. There are no new hot stews coming in, and he's jealous of Kyle and Barbie doing, having like a nice moment, and he wants to basically have one last, you know, romp in bed before the season ends. So he's just lining it up, that's all.

So, um... It's like if you've seen Jaws too many times, and you've just been screaming at the screen romp in bed before the season ends. So it's just lining it up, that's all. So. It's like if you've seen Jaws too many times and you've just been screaming at the screen, don't go in the water, don't go in the water, don't go in the water. And by the fourth time you've seen it, they still go in the water and you're like, I cannot wait to watch this swimmer

get her like ripped off. You know what I mean? Like I've been telling you, you know? Yeah. Hear me, but you think they can hear you. You know, I know that she can't hear me, but come on. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay?

This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ends. Would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. St the park with caitlyn clark she's not just a sheila she's a daniella itchels erin mcniclus she don't miss no trickles she's never scary it's

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