Watch What Crappens - #2436 PumpRules S11E17 Part 2: JoJo SeeWah

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

This is part 2 of a two-part recap!Part 2 of the Vanderpump Rules reunion (S11E17) brings appearances by Ally Bally and Jo. There are a lot of tears and tons of gaslighting by terrible Bravo men, and we end with a huge chicken skewer fight. Does it get better than this? Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once Upon a Beat. Join me. DJ Fu. And my trusty turntable, Baby Scratch, for a weekly jam packed party as we remix and reimagine classic stories for the kids in your life today. Once Upon a Beat is a new kids and family podcast from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip hop and fables meet.

Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a Beat. Once Upon a Beat. Join me, DJ Fuse, and my trusty turntable, Baby Scratch, for a weekly jam packed party as we remix and reimagine classic stories for the kids in your life today. Once Upon a Beat is a new kids and family podcast

from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip hop and fables meet. Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a Beat. Check it out. What happens when this so much that happens? What happens when this so much that happens? Hello and welcome back to part two of the Vanderpump Rules part two reunion part two of part two.

I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Okay, let's get into it. So where we left off was Lala. Anything Lala does is okay. And anything you do is wrong. Because Lala has a baby. Okay, she's child's defeats. So fuck off. Yes. And then also, Sheena, asking Sheena about Dancing with the Stars, etc. And Andy being like, Come on, at this point, like put her on put her on Dancing with the Stars. Come on, guys. So now Sheena is trying to change the story of like, No, no, no, I don't want I don't need to be on Dancing with the Stars. Because like at this point, like, I don't want to compete with that. Like, Ariana did such a good job. And as she said, I'm way too famous for it at this point.

So I've just got plans with this band. I'm going to put out some music, and people can talk shit or whatever they want. But I'm genuinely enjoying what I'm doing with my life right now. Ah! I'm killing it right now because I have an actual band. So that's amazing.

And so then we see Allie and Joe. I thought Joe was already on the stage. I'm an idiot. I thought she was too. That's why I was like, she's here, but she's not here. But now she is here. I think it was just the previews. I saw my notes about like coming up in the previews.

So anyway, Allie and Joe were coming out of makeup, getting ready. And James is like, hello, Ali Bali. And, uh, Ariana's like, Hey, you need to read Andy's charges. Yeah, I know Andy, you're a Gemini and you're like the most perfect example of a Gemini ever. $200 and $200. That's what that cost you. All right. You don't get to look in my eyes again until we're on camera. Thank you. So then Joe comes out. That's so Gemini of you to say that. So Joe's there. Joe looks so nervous. Like she sits down and Andy's, well, actually she comes up first and he's like, she actually she comes up first and

hey Joe, what's going on? You're really flopping around all over the stage. Hi Andy. Whoa, it's weird. You know, it's a funny Andy. I always thought you'd look like sort of like, I don't know, like a squirrel or like a turtle or a turtle squirrel. Are there such things that turtle squirrels? I know I used to have a turtle that fell into the drain. Whoops, bad mom. But lockdown dogs now dogs. I'm nervous. What am I saying? What am I saying? What am I saying? Well, that's a pretty dress. What out in my dress. Oh, I'm nervous. Oh, what am I saying? What am I saying? What am I saying? Well, that's a pretty dress.

That's a pretty dress, thank you. Thank you so much. God, thank you. Can I get a picture of you saying that? I'm just kidding, I don't wanna get your picture. I do, I do though, at some point wanna get a, can we get a picture? I'm drawing it in my head right now.

It's not funny. I'm like doing art of you in my head. I'm not really an artist. I mean, we're all artists. Am I right? I mean, this conversation is art. We're making it up right now. Are we lying right now?

So funny. You look really good in my head. You're like a Botticelli. That's a person, right? Is that art? Is that an art? Is that an artwork or a person? I really don't know.

I hit my head on my surfboard. All right. All right. Okay. All right. This crazy person needs to take a seat. All right. Keep her five feet away from me. And Ali Valley, don't look at my eyes. Hey, Ali. yes, you looked at my eyes. I told you not to look in

my eyes. So, all right. So, we are back from the, for the Pump Rules reunion. We're joined by astrology expert and generally empty vessel, Ali-Bali, and someone whose affair with Schwartz was definitely not written in the stars. And then Joe's like, Okay, thanks. You said some funny things first. And then I was like, Oh my God, it's so funny. And then he said some really mean things. And that really hurt me. And it's like really hurt right now.

But I'm just like, whatever. I mean, am I hurt? I don't even know. I don't even know what I feel anymore. I'm really numb right now. So I'm just going to sit here. Are you done? Or is this like an intro? Is this funny? Are we on TV right now? This is hilarious. I don really numb right now. So I'm just gonna sit here. Are you done? Or is this like an intro? Is this

funny? Are we on TV right now? This is hilarious. I don't see any TV. There's a TV. I'm on the TV. All right, which people do they? From like, some of them put up some fabric over the bird gauge that Joe is in. That's funny. That really hurt my feelings that really. I can't see anything. And I'm a ghost right now, but I'm a ghost with hurt feelings.

Okay. Where is Pac-Man? I'm just kidding. So Andy's like, Ali, so how was the astrology business going? It's going great. I'm fully booked. And you charge by the hour? Like how much do you charge? 195 an hour. Wow. Feeling your rates are gonna go up and Bravo is gonna take 10%. So you're welcome. Although I'm already thinking like 30 person seminars next

time, but she can get $200 now but for 30 people right at the same time. It's gonna be amazing. Alibaba can have so much fun together. Okay, I'm just putting it out there. What about it's called the Ali Bali experience featuring Mr. Banks and what Ali Bali does is she says what mood what house your moon is in. And Mr. Banks stares at you and says, where the fuck is my space in the bed? This stupid dog there? Am I right? I think everyone will pay

for it beyond zoom $400 per person. Big business, the future. Sorry, we had a little bit of a technical issue there. Is this, you know, hotel wifi? It does wonders. So anyway, what we were talking about before was, Andy is just making small talk about like, whoa, how am I gonna do?

Like how much are you gonna charge? And James is talking about doing seminars, et cetera. And then we have Andy saying like, Joe, we first heard about you last year and there was plenty of rumors about the nature of your relationship. So then we see Sheena questioning him last year. Oh my God, who's Joe?

I don't know Joe, I've never even heard of it Joe. Where's Joe? Who is she? Is she your roommate? Is she your girlfriend? Who's Joe? Joe's, oh my God, I think I remember Joe. I think she tried to make out with me right now in the hallway. Was that Joe? Joe's so enemy. Here, I don't know much about Joe, but Joe's in love with

me. There, I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. So Andy's like, well, when, when did you two start hanging out? And she's like, um, uh, well I was between like my house and my apartment and like, um, he was like nice enough to let me couch surf on a spare bedroom like literally I got on his bed on his couch I started like surfing I was whoo hang ten in my right will hang nine because I'm like suspicious of the number ten it's like really weird thing I like it I like knows that she's like no she understands numbers and moons and things like that anyway I was like surfing and I was like

oh my god there's a shark who's actually just like his shark vacuum it was like wild and wacky anyway so I brought my backpack and I brought my dog and I brought like a pillow throw pillow on a big pillow. You put the throw pillow underneath the big pillow makes it like weird shape. It's like a cascading pillow thing. It's like weird. It's like weird, but it's like good for my neck. Anyway, so I just moved into my apartment then after that. And how long after you two started hanging out? Did it become physical? And by physical, I mean, put my finger in a finger hole like that physical fucking when you guys start fucking she goes oh yeah never never

became I'm just kidding it's physical mmm is it physical right now I mean we're physically in the same room it's kind of physical god it's hot in here it's hot in here I'm just kidding I'm totally kidding yeah well you know at the beginning it was just like platonic and like, I don't know. We're just like drinking buddies, you know, things like that. Yeah. And Andy's like, drinking buddies who fuck? Well, I mean, actually, it like evolves into that.

It was like, actually, Andy, you're right. You're right, Andy. You're right. And I was like, can I ask a question? Because I didn't even know that you guys knew each other. So like how, where, why, who, because of, I'm sorry, I'm out of questions. Tupac, Tupac, does anybody listen to Tupac?

She's like, well, you know, through this group, I mean, I knew her through. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, yup, yup, yup. That's great. Yeah, I mean, she was like best friends with like Kristen Doty, so, you know, I'd see her around and be like, I'm in love with you. We stop getting mixed messages and

So Joe's like yeah, well we never like I don't know like it was like we never like we never did anything before like She's like so she just like hit you up just to like stay out of random life. Just hit you up Well, I would like hit her up two or three times a year, you know, like I'd see her at Kristen's. Oh yeah. And then like we would like text. We would like text funny things and stuff. Like I would do his hair and stuff, mostly about texting, but also about, you know, like

I would do his hair, like what we were talking about texting, or I would talk about texting while I was doing his hair. Or like sometimes he would text about doing his hair. It was mostly about hair and texting. That's mostly until it got physical, which I still don't know what that means. Maybe walking. We we've walked around each other before. That's hilarious. That's funny, right? Why am I the only person laughing all the time? Why you guys are really hurting my feelings right now. And I was like, well,

I think that's where it gets a little confusing because we know each other through Kristen Doty. And it's like, so nothing beyond that. Like it's just so random right? So randoms I have a baby. It was like random for sure No, no, it was totally random It's totally random like why she picked me out of all the people that she sort of barely knows just to crash with I don't know It was totally random. There were no other story behind it. It's like, okay. All right Well, Joe, did you have a crush on Schwartz while he was still married to Katie? And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Like, am I

supposed to say I didn't like, did I do it right? Did I say no correctly? Was I supposed to say no? We're supposed to say on. It's not weird how like we say no backwards becomes on. Strange. No, no, it's okay. I don't think you had a crush on me at all. Like, why would I think that? I don't know. I just kept falling you had a crush on me at all. Like, why would I think that? I don't know, I just kept falling down every time I saw you. It was so crazy. I was like, oh my God, I hope this guy

just doesn't think I'm a klutz because it's definitely not me falling down because I like you. I just keep falling down. I hit my head on my surfboard, like right now. I don't even have it here with me, but mentally. Like, once you get hit on the head with a surfboard, it just happens like all day in your mind,

but it still feels real. Does anybody know what I mean? So, so I was like, okay, so you moved in with Schwarz. He's no, no, it's like, I did not move in, did not move in while you stayed with him. Stayed with him, you stayed with him. Yeah, I was like during COVID. No, it wasn't during COVID.

Yeah, you know, like, well, I mean, it was, okay. Well, like, I mean, it was after COVID, but like people had COVID, like people still had COVID, like I knew four people with COVID, so it was like, I don't know, COVID was still around, COVID was there. I almost moved in with COVID. Unfortunately, they like didn't have room available.

Also, I never really wanted to like get physical with COVID, unless it's like this kind of physical, like just walking. Look how we're walking right now. Mwah, mwah, mwah, speed walking. Hey, no one's keeping up with me. You guys are really hurting my feelings right now. Do you know the CDC originally called it the Gerona virus? Yeah. So Katie is like, um, Kristen Doty lived like right around the corner and you guys were still really good friends. Like, why didn't you crash with her? And they're like,

sure. It's like, well, she had a whole melodrama going on with her situation. Tune into the valleys Tuesday nights after Vanderpump rules. Not Kristin having melodrama. Hmm. I was right about that one. And Kate's like, Katie's like, yeah, she was like really surprised that you like didn't hit her that you would hit up Schwartz instead. Yeah, and Joe's like, well I did actually. So Andy was like, okay, I'm bored with this. Ariana, you said that you didn't like Joe

because you knew about the affair. How did you know? And she's like, because her proximity to Schwartz and then like, you know, they were like, that's where everything was going down and like the big bear thing. So yeah, I still believe that. And it's like, Joe, did Schwartz ever ask you to lie

about your relationship in front of the cameras? I'm like, wait, Andy. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Tuna fish? Nope, nope. Chocolate? Nope, nope. Sushi roll?

Nope, nope. I'm just saying no to appetizers being passed to my head. Is this a party or what? Is someone gonna someone going to feed me? I'm serious. Isn't it weird that Andy didn't ask Joe, did you know about the relationship? Like, why did he not ask that? That is weird. Yes, it is weird. And also why is she lying when she said on camera that they didn't they didn't they say on camera that they agreed not to talk about it on camera or something? Or is it that they were just?

Not they were just not calling it dating. So it wasn't technically date Yeah, because I could have sworn would they had the conversation where she was like, you're just trying to hide me Like are you trying to hide me? We've been sleeping together. We've been together. Why are you acting? Like we're not together. That was part of the whole plot of this show, wasn't it? Yeah, I thought so. So Andy's like, all I care about is you guys hooking up. So how often were you guys? No, I do not eat hot dogs in buns. I don't understand.

Why is that wrapped in a blanket? If anyone needs a blanket, it's a human, not a hot dog. Hot dogs are not pigs. They're ham, which are horses, probably. Stop passing me invisible hors d'oeuvres in my head. So how frequently were you two hooking up? And she's like, I don't know, it was just like, I don't know. Sporadically!

Yeah, like, I mean, it wasn't a lot, but we were basically like dating. Yeah, I mean, sometimes when we'd hook up, I'd be like, who is this? I see you so rarely that I ever forget your face. It was so sporadic. Yeah, we were basically like about to get married. I don't even know who she is. Yeah, like we're in love. I just like kept feeling my baby bump.

Like I wasn't pregnant, but I was like, can't wait to be. I was like, God, I don't even know this person. And Lala's like, so wait, you were like, what? Bumping peepees once a week, twice a week? Like, what are we talking here? And they're both like, so wait, you were like, what, bumping pee-pees once a week, twice a week? Like, what are we talking here? And they're both like, maybe. And Lala's like, yeah, that's frequently, both such weirdos.

They're like, hmm, okay, let's do them trying to answer a question. So you guys are doing like twice a week? Like, what are we talking here? Well, I would say like- Maybe carry the one divided by three. Or psycho. I see like one time.

How many days a week in your calendar? There's like so many... California time? Alternate calendars for weeks, right? No, I mean, when you say week, I mean time is just a human construct. Let's see if there's a time difference. He was on the East Coast and I was on the West Coast. A week would end earlier there.

I mean, like, you know when Europe a week starts a week later, so I don't even know if we're around the same week. It's like in Amsterdam. It's like two days. I don't know, I don't have a clock. Like once a week, they're like once a week is like dating you guys. And so Andy asked Katie, like did it seem to you

like Schwartz was kind of breadcrumbing Joe? And she goes, yeah, I mean especially when I was watching. And Joe's like was kind of breadcrumbing Joe. And she goes, yeah, I mean, especially when I was watching. And Joe's like, what's breadcrumbing? Is that like a thing? Like I will eat carbs. Like I'm not the kind of person to just stay away, but like not on purpose. Like what does it mean?

It's like giving you a little bit. It's like when Dancing with the Stars sends me like a newsletter, but doesn't actually invite me on the show. It's like I'm kind of being breadcrumbed. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I don't, I don't watch, I don't have a TV. I don't understand fame. Fame? What? TV? Who would even want to be on that? It's a water bottle lid I do it with. Well when I was watching. I should have taken I should have

taken a piece of that too you know when it was coming back. When I was watching Katie's like when I was watching I was like oh my god I was watching, I was like, oh my God, I feel really bad for you because it seemed like he was leading you on. And Joe's like, what, what? Yeah. What am I, what planet am I? I was crazy.

It seemed like he was being elusive, elusive with you. Like you saw the relationship very differently. Am I even here right now? Can anybody see me? Cause I can't see you. Cause I've got my hand in front of my face. Crazy. Oh my god. She's there. It's really her. Wait, is it really her? No, it's a hand. It's not Katie. It's my hand. Okay, say it again. My

hand feels sorry for me. Hand, why do you feel sorry for me? Nope, it's Katie who said that. Am I going crazy? Yeah. Seriously? Well, you're not the only one because when I was talking about you at Mel's Diner, I was like, am I crazy? Am I really at Mel's diner right now? And you were explaining to me the situation and I was like, well, no wonder why she would think that. And we have a flashback to Schwartz just like, you know,

like telling Katie everything about Joe. And so Katie is like, I mean, you've been given the relationship. Like she's talking to Schwartz. She's like, you've been giving the relationship and the boyfriend experience. And no wonder why she literally is like in love with you. Yeah, planet Mars. That's where I live right now. It's crazy here.

Does anybody have a couch to sleep on on planet Mars? Cause I could really use one. I don't live here. I will not sleep with somebody. I've learned my lesson. I've learned, let's just put it that way. So Katie's like, yeah, I mean, I just, you know, of course she assumed you were in a relationship

and Schwartz is like, well, I mean, it just, you know, of course she assumed you were in a relationship and Short's like, well, I mean, it just felt like maybe it was evolving into a relationship, but then, you know, some things happened. And Katie's like, yeah, but you weren't committing to anyone. So if somebody thinks, and he's like, yeah, but that caused me to like want to reconsider. And then I started pulling away and then like, you know, things happened, like it was crazy.

So Andy's like, well, what happened? And he goes, well, you know, we're still tied. What are you trying to say? Would someone on the stage fucking say something? They're both talking at the same time. They're talking in ellipses. No one is really saying, finishing a sentence. And Lala goes, what is happening right now?

This is literally like fucking insane. And Schwartz is like, it's such a mind fuck cause you see Joe likes this guy and he says things like, oh, I did really love her. I did, I love her. I did say her I did say I love her I mean I said I love you but I don't mean like I love you but I like I love you like what we had was magical it was magical it wasn't relationship but it was magical it was like oh for that moment I was like she could be my wife but what we weren't dating or anything I mean I would never want to be married to her but like if we were married wow that would be the best thing ever but

I never want I'm single. I'm single. You know, I'm single. Like, why would I get married? Like, we don't need paperwork. Like, our relationship is so strong. I mean, I said relationship and I mean relationship, you know, like love. I mean, I don't mean like like, I mean, like friends. Friends like each other. We're more than friends. I mean, like we're married, but not like not in the spiritual sense. We're just like we love each other. We're in love. And Lisa's like, wait a minute, if you're sleeping together

and you tell someone you love them. Of course, that's what we did. We would sleep together and be like, I love you, which means we're not dating. Am I right? I just don't understand what's so confusing. Everyone's like, this is so fucked up. And Joe is over there going, yeah, well, yeah, we agreed. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dating. Mm-hmm. Not dating. Yeah. Married. Not married. Pregnant. Had children. Divorced. We're divorced. pregnant, had children, divorced, were divorced, not got back together again. It's so crazy.

So fuck, you know, so they're like, they're all coming down on shorts, right? And Ariana's like, you know, you guys are sitting there and you're using, you're using the word dating. And then you're like, no, no, no, it was this other thing. And just like, yeah, I think you're leading on a little bit, you know, around was like, yeah, there's like a disconnect on what it was, you know? And Joe's like, you know, and no, it's fine. I mean, you have a girlfriend and you love talking about her, but it's like, I was a secret for a year. And she was like, Joe, no, don't feel bad.

It's not that I was embarrassed of you. It's just that I would hate for anyone to know that I ever touched you physically in any sort of way, that's all. Yeah, he's just such an ass. He's like, yeah, I mean, that's not the reason I pulled away from you, you know, and I'm just saying, like, it's sad to see how we are because that was, you know, she's like, well, it was a relationship because like when I saw it, I was like, that was a

relationship, I guess. He goes, yeah, well, we had magic for a while. Well, it was there. But you know, Yeah. And then it ended. It well, we had magic for a while. Well, it was there, but you know, yeah. And then it ended. It ended, then it dissipated, like magic. Yeah, dissipated, that's crazy. It was like a rabbit that was put back into a hat. Oh my God, why would you do that to a rabbit?

Like, it's not where rabbits belong. I'm just saying, like, not to disagree with you. Yeah, and then, you know, it's like sawing a person in half and then putting them back together. You can't just like saw a person in half and put them back together. Am I right? Am I going crazy here? Someone and Lala's like, you know, you're saying these things you're saying you're my happy place Well, we had his magical and he was and then and then she's like, but why can't you call it a relationship? Those are all the things you say when you're in a relationship. He's like I didn't want to put label on it

I was scared. I felt incapable of being in a conventional relationship. I felt fucked up because of Katie. It's all Katie's fault. Katie did this to me. It's not my fault. I'm innocent. I'm just a boy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. And Andy's like, so what's the status of your relationship now? And he's like, we're friends. And Andy says, are you friends, Joe? And she's like, I mean, I, well, it's like, well, you have a girlfriend now. And he goes, yeah, I mean,

I thought you were dating too, right? Do you know that invisible rabbit that was following that guy around? No? Oh yeah, well, I guess not, but I am, yeah. And Andy says, and Joe, you're kind of hurt that he's so public about his girlfriend, yes? And she's like, yeah. It's like the only solid answer she's given.

This like simple, yeah. And Andy goes, and it hurts you because she's not public with you, right? And he's like, oh, she starts like crying. It's like, yeah, that really hurts my feelings. That really does. And I don't know, it's not that I need publicity. I just like kind of wanted that.

And Andy's like, you just wanted wanted you didn't want to hide it This is like validation darling validation Alright Schwartz, well, it seems like you just hard launched a new relationship like what can you tell us about her? Will you bring us to bring her to the NBCU up front in New York City? He goes whoa. Well her name's Sophia You may know her from wallpaper. She's ridiculously good looking, but she's like, my li- that's my least favorite thing

about her. I'm not much realistic. I mean, it just so happens that she's good looking. Oh, I don't care about that whatsoever. She's hilarious. She's smart. She likes apples. She can open a refrigerator really well. One day she saw a cloud and was like, that looks like hair. And I was like, it's a cloud. was like, that looks like hair and I was like it's a cloud and she said oh my god I always wonder what a cloud looked like. Oh god she's great. She's got a great career like the wallpaper thing I mentioned that sand of all's room. So yeah I don't want to be disrespectful to Joe whatsoever but let's just put it this way I would always tell people that I want to fuck this girl in a way that I would never want to say it about Joe. I

don't want to be disrespectful. No, no, no Listen here's what I can tell you about her when this show started she was in the sixth grade Andy So basically perfect for a little boy Wow, yeah, and if people are like, oh my god, you shouldn't age shame relationships Bullshit that girl's was 12 Think about that that girl was 12 when this guy was on this show crying because he couldn't stand behind a bar for five minutes Okay, can we can we not it's time for commercial? It's time for a crap in commercial I'm she Moli I and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition.

I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge, and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today,

the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time.

I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All the time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris. And me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast,

Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise?

Mother. A mother to many. Follow, let me say this, on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcasts. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly.

On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a f***. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So Schwartz is like, yeah, you know, I love her. I'm obsessed with her. No offense to Joe. I hope that didn't hurt Joe. It's just that she's so amazing. She's like so, she's so much more amazing in public than Joe ever was.

Sorry, Joe. Did that hurt? Ouch. Sorry, I didn't mean it. Sorry if I was ever sloppy. And then they're all like, oh, now you care about disrespect. Oh my God.

They're like, pick a lane, whatever, you know? So. So there's such assholes to Joe, obviously, but it's nice that everybody's kind of sticking up for Joe on stage because they he started this thing where he's like, shut up, Katie, you don't even know anything that you haven't seen on the show. And then Tom Sandoval was like, Oh, yeah, there's like behavior you guys didn't see on the show with Joe and they're like, Oh, shut the fuck up.

You guys he was making Joe seem like it was as good he was telling Joe they were girlfriend and boyfriend basically sleeping together saying I love you, everything else, and now you guys are both teaming up to gaslight just like you fucking do every single time. So it was nice to see the whole cast, you know, tell them to shut them out. Yeah, so Andy's like, he's like, all right, Katie, well you said some aggressive things about Joe

on social media and it's like Joe's a crack head. Joe is like the worst thing that ever happened. The economy crashed because of Joe. So Joe is a literal terrorist. She's a rat. She's a psychopath. She's a crackhead. She's got weird meat.

She made global warming. So Joe is like crying. She's like sobbing. Joe was not meant for this, okay? And he's like, what is it about this crying, strange person that got you all fired up and kiddies like, um, well, you know, Katie Bess is like, look, I was going through a divorce and I was going through a separation and I just

felt like she's moving away that I didn't like. And like, honestly, I just use some very colorful descriptors like crack head. I just use some very colorful descriptors. Like bracket. I mean, it's basically like in those commercials where they used to try and sell albums on late night TV, you know, where they'd be like, and now the most romantic hits of 1987, and then they just start listing your greatest hits. It's like the credits start coming up and it's like,

psychopath, bitch, whore, skinny, ugly, rat face. It's like Katie's greatest hits. It's like the now collection of Katie. So it's like, do you regret anything? She's like, why would I regret anything? You're literally playing my greatest hits. So Joe, I don't know if she realizes this, but she does really a Bravo masterstroke, which is that she gives big puppy dog eyes and starts to sob and is like, you know, I never felt ganged up by any of you, like any of you guys, you know, except for you, Katie. She really did come in.

She you know, we're saying, oh, she's not made for TV. I don't know about that, because Joe really did come in ready to be like, the person who hurt me, it was her. It was Katie. It was the person with the hair cut. Like, you know, she was just so ready. She's ready with her big victim tears.

Now I do think she was a victim in this situation, but not from Katie. I mean, come on. You were victimized by Tom Schwartz, point the finger where it should be. You knew that the sound of all, you knew all that stuff. Like I've enjoyed Joe on the show or whatever, but it doesn't lift her to sainthood. You know what I mean? Like take some responsibility. Katie was mean, but you were also like with Katie's ex. What did you think? You know what I mean? And also Katie's not the only one that bullied you.

Sheena bullied you plenty. She's right there. Hate her. Yeah. So, um, so then we, uh, so Joe's basically like, you know, like, it's you're so mean to me. And Katie's like, it's not about you. It's about what I was going through, you know?

And I know I wasn't nice or kind, but I was dealing with a lot of shit. And the last thing I needed Was you and kids like Joe's like that's no excuse And Lala's like, you know, I know it doesn't seem like Katie's being vulnerable right now But just know that when she bears her fangs and rolls her eyes and spits at you That's like the most vulnerable thing she could ever do right now. Okay, this is actually such a soft side of Katie you're seeing right now. This is Katie being vulnerable.

Look at the way she just threw some mud at Andy Cohen. I don't even know where that mud came from. That was like her saying like, I miss you. You're my favorite. And then Katie's like, yeah, and I just had a season where I wasn't treated well by any of these people, you know, which is kind of going back to what Lala was saying was that, you know, they were pissed that everybody's giving Ariana all this grace, but nobody gave them this grace when they were going through breakups in their relationship.

But you know, again, that was because your relationship has been miserable for years and people were rooting for you both to just not be together you know what I mean so Joe's like yeah like you called me a rat you called me a crack at and kidding I like Katie just goes listen I don't like a lot of people and I don't believe in being nice to everybody you kind of can't argue with that. Yeah. Um, I'm getting lost. Uh, she goes, yeah, I never said you're a crackhead or you do actual crack. And then we see a, we see the tweet. Joe's spooky. I mean, none of us could stand to be around her. Her energy is on par with the crackhead. She's a psycho and I will light her on fire with Raquel.

She's like, what? I barely did anything. What are you talking about? Yeah. Spooky, sloppy, rude, need to take a shower. I mean, I can go on and on. Me too, want me too? What am I?

It's like I'm playing a bar mitzvah today. Hold on. Deaky, deaky, deaky, deaky, sloppy, rat, crackhead energy, on par with, should I keep going? Am I getting paid by the song or by the app? Katie's like, look, listen, listen, it's not about like, it's not about like,

oh, everyone that Tom Schwartz dates has a target on their back, but just like, I don't know, and everyone goes, it's a case by case basis. Your case was selected. Think of Katie as the IRS and her reaction towards you as you've been audited. Okay, that's it. Just bad luck.

So Andy's like, Joe, are you seeing anyone? She's like, no. Do you know Aaron Rodgers? Peach and Pea is a terrible person. Anybody, hey, wait, anybody have the number for Scott Moore? Anybody up here? She's like, well, no, I think like, what was it? Arianna said he's a conspiracy theorist.

I thought Joe said that. I thought Joe said he's a conspiracy theorist. I like that. No, Arianna said he's a conspiracy theorist. Okay. And he's like, yeah, he's a wackadoo. So Joe's like, what about John Mayer? It's like, all right, he's mine, bitch. Good luck on whatever you do next, you're fired. Had him, had him over there.

I'm gonna abstain on that one. Like I didn't abstain when I knew someone named Flawn Flair sounds like. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I danced with that star, that's for sure. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So now it's time, Joe and our, so now we go on, sorry, Joe doesn't leave, I danced with that star, that's for sure. So now it's time, Joe and our, so now we go on, sorry, Joe doesn't leave, but now it's time for, it's time for Joe, James and Ali Pali.

So Andy's like, did you feel like you're being trolled every time they showed the airplanes? It's like, oh, I loved it. It's like, we see an airplane and we know like, oh good, it's our scene. Wiki, Wiki, Wiki, Wiki. Well, I'd like to ask a question to the biggest supporting player on this season, the Southwest airline that kept flying over there. Southwest, how do you feel about your first breakthrough season on America? On the Vanderpump rules? I'd just like to say we're about to land in lost wages. I nailed it. Thank you, Southwest Airlines.

So James. I love that Southwest Airlines joke. It's so good. Like, hey guys, Southwest, welcome to the show to drink a minimum, am I right? Huh, it's by Carl Radke. Southwest, welcome to the show to drink a minimum of my right. It's by Carl Radke. Um, so Andy is like, he's like James, uh, Rachel's weighed in publicly and said that she believes the dog's bad behavior is because of you was your response to that.

So James basically says that like when hippie like was a puppy, he was put in a crate and put in the bottom of a plane, and it really sort of traumatized him. And so he had some biting issues. It wasn't because of him, it's because of this terrible experience that he went through. But now he literally, like, I'll come back from a walk, and then he'll go and run up to Mr. Banks and give Mr. Banks literally a kiss on the face. And Mr. Banks will be like, get the fuck off me, you stupid dog. Cats only on this pussy.

This pussy over here. Actual pussy, because I over here, actual pussy, cause I'm a cat, it works, they have a weird exchange. When that whole thing came out with Raquel Blay, or Rachel blaming him for the dog, I was like, okay, that's a stretch. And also you're like doing this revenge podcast and it's kind of getting sad now.

It's like episode after episode. And now you're onto James like saying he abused the dog and biting people like what the fuck dude like it gets to be a bit much I think his answer should just be like that's not true and she's desperate for material and needs to get a damn real job because this is getting old but instead he goes on this whole like well you understand trauma right? He had trauma he was on a plane plane with trauma he was on a trauma plane like okay I got that could my He was on a plane, a plane with trauma. He was on a trauma plane. Like, okay, I

got that. My dog was on it, not Bueller, but Zena before him. I took Zena and she went under the plane. She did come out traumatized, but she didn't come out biting people. And like, I don't know, it just seemed like now I'm wondering, like, what did he do to this dog to make the dog, you know, crazy? Because now he sounds guilty. He's like going through all this like trauma of the dog. Like have we gotten to that point where we're using dog trauma excuse? Come on. But apparently hippies better now. So that's good. And then Lisa's like, Oh, come on, if there was ever a problem with the minute I saw how hippie reacted to James on the fifth

time we shot that scene within two weeks to make it more palatable for the public. Hippie reacted very well. Look how Hippie slowly runs towards James in this clip, licks him and then goes to sniff another butt in the store. Just romantic story. I knew then categorically that he'd be nothing but kind to that dog. And as for Mr. Banks, fuck that cat. We don't deal with cats in my world, stupid, stupid beasts. So Andy is like, Lally, you said that you weren't ready to get married and have kids.

Where are you today with that? Nope, don't want him. Gross, disgusting. You think I want to reproduce with this one? Absolutely not. I want to get my music career launched. Okay. not where I want to get my music career launched. Okay. But so, um, she goes, not the most inspiring group here. No offense.

That was great. They're all shocked. And it goes, excuse me. I mean, except for Sheena and Brock, of course, and Lisa, of course. And by the way, except for, I mean, including and specifically because of. So Andy's like, well, Lala, Lala has kids. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Um, yeah, I'm inspired by her. She's great. Um, I was talking to my friends recently and I was like, I want to have kids when I feel like Lala, when I get desperate enough in my life that I want to have kids so badly that I wanna, I'm going to sleep with someone like Ran, then that's when I will do that. But until then, I think I'm just gonna try to focus on my music and astrology.

So James, what do you want kids? He's like, Oh, well, I want kids by the time I'm like, you know, 33, well, I'm 33. So 35 now, I'm almost 35, 34, 32. I wanted them 28. Really? I've been preparing for children since I was 16 years old, Andy. I've done nothing but prepare for children. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. I've been traumatized on a plane, Andy. Traumatized. So, well, how long are you, traumatized on a plane,

how long are you willing to wait for Ali to change your mind forever, Andy? Forever. Well, really just like another year. So and then I'm gonna switch her out for a new model, whatever, whatever it takes. Until my dick shrivels up and I fall off. Oh, just kidding, Andy. Just kidding. He's like, Okay, well, that's how long we're gonna keep these terrible men on this show. So, okay, for many years, this group was infamous for boozing it up, but this year you went

from slamming shots to sipping mocktails and hosting water tasting with guys who compare water to cum. Let's take a look at that hilarity. So we see like a little, we see a scene from the water tasting where they all say, this water tastes like cum, sks. So Andy's like, how long have you been sober now, Lala? Almost like five and a half years. So, pause for applause.

Thanks so much. You know what I have to say? I really appreciate you acknowledging my sobriety each time we do this, because it really means a lot to me. And it's the proudest thing I've ever done in my entire life. And I'm even more prouds, because I have a child's.

I have a child's. I'm sober with a child's. I have a child's now. I have a child's. If sober was the penis, I would have let it spooge into me so I could have a child with it. So much. I love it. So thanks, everybody. It's been great. And so then, and James, James has been sober ish, we

think we're sure we're going with that. We're gonna go with that one. So Allie, you said there was a big moment that caused James to stop drinking. and it also pushed you and your cats to move out. And they're like, and Joe's like, Oh, what? I didn't know that. So can I stay on the couch that she was sleeping on? I love cat couches. Can I sleep on that?

I'm just kidding. Go ahead. Seriously, what's your address? I'm just kidding. Don't invite me over. And I was, I was basically like, yeah, I don't like James when he drinks getting done, don't invite me over. And Ali's basically like, yeah, I don't like James when he drinks. Yeah, I do have a mouth on me,

like a little bit disrespectful, things like that, but it's only some of that stupid facts that he doesn't care about. So then Joe's like, you know, it's refreshing that you can admit that because it's really cool that, because I have an ego, like it's cool that you're like, I have an ego. It's like me being like, oh, you know what I have? Coffee mug. I don't know, it's like really cool that like, you know, cause it's like, cause like I have an ego, like it's cool that you're like, I have an ego. You know, it's like me being like,

Oh, you know what I have a coffee mug. I don't know. It's like, it's cool that we admit what we have. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So he talks about how he's quit for Ali cause she's going to leave him if he's drunk again, which is different than when Raquel did it for some reason,

because you know, that was his thing this season. Like, I'm not doing it for her, I'm doing it for me, but I will leave him if he doesn't stop, which is why I'm doing it for myself. Please don't leave me. Especially before we get knocked up at 35, please. Been dreaming of a baby since I was five. So then James is like, yeah, but you know,

it wasn't necessarily just the ultimatum. It was like, I'll get it. Like a relationship is going to be a whole lot better if I just don't drink. And she's like, yeah, and I'll leave him if he doesn't. So, Joe, is there any final thing you want to say before you are sent away? And she's like, honestly, I know this is going to sound crazy. It's been a really fun party. Thank you for the appetizers.

I'm sorry I didn't eat them. It's been a really fun party. Thank you for the appetizers. I'm sorry I didn't eat them. It's not because they didn't look delicious. I just didn't wanna have bad breath in case I made out with Tom Schwartz, my boyfriend, my husband, just kidding, we're only friends. We're married in this reunion. Thank you for having me.

Love you. You guys have been so much fun. The whole game where we were like, pin the hurt feelings on Joe. Hey, let's make Joe cry. And that was so much fun, you guys. I cried five times and that's how I know it was a good night. Now, just can you tell me when we're gonna start rolling?

We've actually been filming for all this time. Oh, really? Oh, okay. That's wild. Is Aaron Rodgers watching? Think. Aaron Rodgers, that was a rough moment when she said she really wants to date Aaron Rodgers. I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what?

I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what?

I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what?

I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? I'm like, what? Well done. What a bundle of insane energy for this show.

Super fun. We'll miss you. So then commercial break and we come back and let's see. Andy's like, all right, we're back. So now let's talk about the real star of the reunion and who's not here. I thought you were gonna say Summer Moon. Sorry, we didn't.

Hello, hi, I'm Summer Moon. Sorry, we didn't. Hello. Hi, I'm Summer Moon's momager. Is she not the number one person in this supporting character? Anne? I mean, who's Anne, right? Was she blocked by Tom Sandoval? I don't think so. Summer Moon, who's totally available to do Duracell

commercials, surely that's going to happen this year. No one's going to tell me any different. Little to scene and out. There's like a Dura-Sol ad with Anne coming up. So, Andy is like talking about how, you know, that Anne had to like clean up after parties and stuff and all that stuff and Sam was like, whoa. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to start laughing.

But I'm looking at my little side notes here and I read on this page, the commercials that come up in this show. So there was a segment, you know, where Katie's like, God, I mean, I really just don't understand it. I mean, it's just, I really didn't mean that against Ariana. And then he's like, okay, let's cut to commercial. And then it's like, IBS. And I thought that was really funny.

Like the Katie segment got a big, huge IBS commercial. And then Joe's segment, Joe's like crying and Tom's like, we're not together, but we are kind of together, but we're not together, but we're kind of together. And then we cut to commercial and it's like, Hep C. This sounds so funny. The commercial plays.

I know, it's hilarious. They're like, let's match these drugs to the personalities they would best go with in this reunion lineup. So, so San- I just derailed the whole show. No, it's no, I watched, I didn't have commercials on the one I watched.

So it's just like, so I didn't get to have that experience. So I'm glad you, I'm jealous now. Okay, so San of all, so we talk about Anne and basically that Sandoval of course fired her because she came on camera and dissed him and said she would rather work for Ariana, which, you know, makes sense. But Ariana is like, well, she was just excited

to like work for other women and that was probably a big part of it. And she wanted something new, you know? Yeah, so then Andy is like, well, she was just excited to like work for other women and that was probably a big part of it. And she wanted something new, you know? Yeah. So then Andy is like, well, you know, we already talked about hippie and his journey to find a happy home, but across town, Tom and Ariana's pets were dealing with the fall out of their parents breakup, which led to Ariana calling Xanabal a dog murderer. So, all right, the dog, Mia, got into chicken skewers that were next to your bed, which is honestly a little gross.

Okay, let's just pause. This is pretty gross, Ariana, what the hell? Okay, she's like, is my space? I loved her answer here. Yeah, I loved her answer here. That was good, because that was all of us. I think, I feel like the whole world was like, gross. I love you, but gross, that's nasty.

And she's like, that's my space. My take away cartons, my choices. So he's like, all right. And so Sandoval's like, well, okay, first of all, we've been having issues with our air conditioner and like we have electrical issues. And there's like this thing that needed to be taken care of. So I went in there and I don't know if it was Anne or I that left the door open but

possibly it was Anne it was most likely Anne I think it was Anne I don't know why everyone hates me Anne is the one who kills dogs Anne actually hates dogs she wants to kill them all. But wait did she murder a baby because that's what Katie wants to murder. I have a child's okay. Thanks. My child's leads chicken skewers out stews. I have a child's, okay? My child's leaves chicken skewers out too. I have a child's. I have a child's with chicken skewers. How could you leave chicken skewers out when I have a child's?

The difference with Ariana leaving garbage out and me leaving garbage out is that I have a child's. So then we get into this petty thing of the room. Like, yeah, but I should have been consulted if someone was petty thing of the room. Like, yeah, but I should have been consulted if someone was gonna come into my room. But if we didn't fix the air conditioner, it would have leaked and there would have been mold

and all of the neighbors could have died from black mold. Ariana, why? She's like, but I do have the right to shut my door. And I was like, wow, I love a good right to shut my bedroom door fight. But yeah. Hey, James, James, I love a good right to shut my bedroom door fight, but yeah. Hey James, James, is there any way that you'd like to insert yourself

into this pet situation here? Absolutely, Undy. We knew this was coming, right? We knew this was coming because James has just been totally dissed and had his feelings hurt. And what happened, and that's when Allie was like, I don't wanna have babies with him, or whatever just happened, James got his Fee Fee's hurt. or whatever just happened. James got his Fee Fee's hurt,

and we know that when James get his Fee Fee's hurt, he's about to lash out at someone that he's not even mad at, and here we go. Yeah, he's like, okay, you know what, Sanderball, you roll your eyes like that, like a fat slut, but you're totally fine. You were totally fine when Raquel took fucking Gram for me, and you became a secret new daddy

getting your dick wet for seven months, daddy. And S oh god dude stop it like daddy boy daddy boy getting your dick sucked wet getting it wet while gram was there and i wouldn't have said anything you know but if you weren't rolling your eyes thinking that what she's saying is not completely 100% fucking accurate and don't get me started with fucking hippie either if you had no problem with that, then you don't have a fucking problem with this now. So the logic is you can't, you were fine with, you were fine with Graham being taken away from his true daddy.

So stop being upset. Stop trying to act like you're upset like the dog's being taken away from you, right? Like- Yeah, I mean, I love watching Tom Sandoval get yelled at. And then this is why, because then Tom starts with his thing, which is like, Oh really? I'm the only bad person, which is his other thing. Like you suck too.

So now he's threatening. He's like, shut the fuck up, Sandoval. You haven't heard shit. And now he goes, I'm keeping my mouth shut about things that I've heard. And they add up James. And he's like, Oh, shut the fuck up, Santa ball, you haven't heard shit. And now he goes, I'm keeping my mouth shut about things that I've heard. And they add up James. And he's like, Oh, shut the fuck up. You haven't heard shit Santa ball. He goes, Uh huh, you need to get off your high horse. He goes, brother, I'm galloping so far. I had a few bro. I can't even see you in the distance. My horse is

pooping on your horse. Your horse runs over my horses. Oh, my god, Mr. Banks just swatted at my horse. How dare he? So then, um, the cinema's like, that's great, man. That's great. It's like you're in the swamp, bro. Sinking quick. Fucking eat a dick. It's like you fucking eat a dick, dude. Seriously? I was one who started that. Seriously.

And we end as poetically as possible. You eat a dick, dude. You eat a dick. You eat a dick. You eat a dick. You eat a dick. You eat a dick. You eat a dick.

Which is how we end every podcast recording session. Everybody, thank you so much for being here for this beautiful two-part reunion special. We'll be back next week for more, darling. The end. Bye, everyone. Join us next week. We'll see everybody here in Europe. If you want to go over what shows we will be covering over here, go look at our Instagram. It's the top post. It says something like

crappens in Europe. Find the shows and get your tickets. We'll see you soon and London podcast show. We're here. We will see you tomorrow or whenever Friday. We're excited to see you guys thanks for being here we'll talk to you all bye watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alice in King Ashley Savoni see don't take no baloney stroll in the park with Caitlin Clark she's not just a Sheila she's a Daniela itchles Aaron McNicholas she don't miss no trickles

she's never scary, it's the green fairy, Jamie, she has no less name-y, Hava Nagila Webber, know your worth with Jason Curr, sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch, she's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan, Kristen the Piston Anderson, let's give a kisserino to LisaLino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of BetsyMD.

We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We for Ava love Ava. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible edible Matthew Sisters. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crapar. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crappen's ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning, multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed

as frauds, but none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist, two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem? They couldn't sing.

But Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your

podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.