Watch What Crappens - #2437 Summer House S08E14: Countdown to the HubKe-pocalypse

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

This week on Summer House (S08E14) The CEO debuts her app and Lindsay and Carl don’t read the signs around them at the Apocolypse party. One more week until it’s all blown to smithereens! Grab tickets for our European tour at watchwhatcrappens.com Watch this recap as a video and get our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip hop and fables meet. Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a Beat. Check it out. Watch what happens, watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on the Oprah! I'm Ronnie, that's Ben.

Hi everyone, how's it going? We're in the same space. Yeah. Because that's how we're just rolling. It's our European style. Yeah. I am wearing this sweatshirt for like the fifth day in a row. I'm just wearing the same outfit day after day after day here in Europe because of course

I packed like it would be 85 degrees and I was like, let me just bring a sweatshirt just in case. And that's my look sweatshirt every single day. Great sweatshirt. Yeah, I'm changing my look every day, but it's still just old Navy shirts. So I might as well be in the same thing every day. I don't know why I bought so many damn shirts. Also laundry costs $5 million to do. Yes. And this is, we're going on a week now being in Europe. I've been run ragged. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm tired. I'm dead. I don't know that we needed three weeks here. I'm done. This was fun. Love y'alls choosing to drive on the other side of the street. A lot of walking.

I'm just kidding. I know we started that. We're having the best time, the best time, but it is like- I'm tired. It's a lot. It's a lot going on here, guys. But here we are. We're not too tired to do this. That's for sure. This is the relief coming to do the podcast. The rest of it's like, okay, now it's time to walk a bit. All right, we're going to walk for a stretch, shall we? Let's just stretch our legs a little bit. Come on, get out there, move those legs, breathe in the fresh Get out there move those legs breathe in the fresh air

Am I supposed to breathe in that fresh air? It's wet. It's wet air. I'm gonna drown if I keep breathing with goddamn air England This is His Majesty's wet air So we love it here yesterday. We went to a gourmet mall was like a mall gourmet things we Why my blank and and stunts and Stunson and Hollards. No, no, no. Hudson and collards. Mason. Uh, they went there on Top Chef. Mason and Mason. No, I've got, but, but num, but nums Macy's it was Macy's. But, but, but no, but num, it's not Fortnum. Fortnum and Mason Fortnum and Mason darling

Fortnum and Mason we went there for a minute. We had the best time We were of course we were one of several Americans that were there being like ooh British culture Yeah, but it was like a tourist trap and they had this big faker as the waiter and he's like hello Welcome to high tea. what may I offer you? Liar. You know, his ass went back to the kitchen, like he's fucking fat, he's out there asking for more coffee. We don't serve coffee, we serve cold damn tea up in here.

Hey Nathan, you got another teapot ready for me, for Americans. Okay, thanks so much Nathan. Hello, your teapot is arrived. Would you like to order your own things? That's how we do it here in England." And he was an aggressive cake pusher, because at the end, he was like, does anyone here have any room for some white chocolate and raspberry cake? It's part of the experience. And we're like, no, we're full. But it's part of the experience.

Like, no, no. It's like, well, I'll come back and see if you still want it, because it's part of the experience. Yeah, and then he would keep coming back every 10 minutes and go, no, it's time for Like, I'll come back and see if you still want it. I'll come back when you want. Yeah, and then he would keep coming back every 10 minutes and go, no, it's time for the cake. Would you like the cake? I was like, what's with this cake pusher? Is there a white board in the back? This guy has to like whoever does it gets a pin. Like, what is it? And then finally he sold it because he knows we're Americans who just spent a hundred dollars on finger sandwiches. Okay, so we're pissed. And so he can, well,

not pissed, but you know what I mean. And then he comes back and he's like, are you sure about the cake? It is complimentary. We'll have it. We'll take it right now. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it. We'll have it., but as soon as you said it was complimentary, we're like, we'll take it. We'll take it. And listen, you know, we're joking about being tired and stuff, but we're actually in a country that serves you cake. There's like a special meal for cake. And then for dessert, they serve you more cake.

So you know what? I'm moving here. I may be tired, but I think I'm tired because I have to go back home. If my home was at the cake place, I'd be fine. Yeah, and what was cool about the Fort Newman Mason tea service or tea lounge or whatever, tea room, was that it basically looked identical to the Something About Her interiors,

and Something About Her opened up this week. So I was feeling a little bit of FOMO, like, oh my God, like we could have gone to Something About Her, the opening would have been so funny for the podcast. But we basically were there. Except we were there on like a much larger and like, like 100 years old version of it, you know, more tables, more tables, and more British accents, more more British accents less. Yeah,

John, I could pray as a so it's been fun. That instead of hi tea, that would be hey tea. Hey tea with Katie. Katie. Yeah, Katie. So would you like that? Would you like the Darjeeling? So we're really excited because tonight we have our London show at long last.

The London show is tonight. So anyone who for some reason has missed this entirely, it is sold out. So thank you to everyone who bought tickets. And we are recapping the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Amsterdam episode as in Amster hyphen damn. We all know the episode. Lisa Rinna throwing the glass, et cetera. Tomorrow night we're actually in Dublin and we're doing Shamrock and Shamrocks and Ashamed, which is the famous Ireland episode of Real Houses of Orange County that is with Shannon and Tamara in the bus Tamara hyperventilating into the camera. It's gonna be great. And then next week we are back in England in Birmingham and we're going to be doing a case of the Vickies

which is the Iceland episode where Vicky has to be carted off and puts a towel on her head in case anyone were to see her. So we're gonna have a lot of fun over the next few days here. Okay, let's move on to Summer House. So this is the penultimate episode of Summer House. Next week, we get to watch Carl finally wuss out and make his declaration of leaving Lindsay. Is that a supersized episode next week? I don't know. Did you look it up?

I didn't. Why didn't you look it up? Well, I'm busy. Busy digesting our show. I mean, I'm in our show. Shouldn't you be looking it up if it's our show? Could you treat me with a little bit of tenderness? I'm just trying to ask questions.

Could you treat me with a little bit of tenderness down the side? Like, this is our show, and this is our future, and if I can't even ask questions, then what's even the point? What I really need you to treat me with a little love and tenderness is what I need. Less questions. All your questions make me feel like you're questioning me hardly. Oh my god. It's almost like you don't trust me. I've been traumatized by questions.

Traumatized by them. Let's just do the whole thing like we're on the BBC. You look great by the way. You look great by the British girl. Let's just do the whole thing like we're on the BBC. Ha. British girl, ha. You look great, by the way. You look great, by the way. You look great, by the way. Do you like my cake? Ha. I just want some more of like salty remember cake, please.

Please just give me some softness and tenderness, please. Ha. Yeah, so Carl. All I'm doing is asking you questions. You're the man who's going to impregnate me with the baby. Ha. I just thought, what about a little bit of a, you know, that's amazing, babe,

and I can't believe you got this opportunity, babe, ha. I can't go through geriatric pregnancy with someone who's not willing to be there with the job. Babe, put your kilograms on me, ha. Can I? Okay. Put your kilograms on me. How many liters is that baby gonna be?

Also, can we stop calling things geriatric? I don't like the term geriatric pregnancy. They didn't even say it in this, but it's still just so on my mind because, you know, like we all start freaking out at a certain age because they're like, you geriatric pregnancy is that your little baby's got a cane. It's already shit in itself in your womb. Like, can we stop? Can we come up with a nicer name? How about later in life pregnancy? Well, we are in Britain, which always has nice, nice ways of saying simple things. So I feel like we could come up with something that sounds British instead of geriatric pregnancy,

maybe something like a bit past her time pregnancy. Late afternoon cookie. She's just a bit late to the party pregnancy. I like everything just based on cookies and crisps. Okay, so guys, it's also huge news because... This is a biscuit. It's basically like the finale of The Apprentice where someone wins a business. And it's Danielle, the CEO, the winning CEO, what does she call herself to something and see you? She's a founder and CEO. You would know that if you were

a founder and CEO, Ronnie from founder and CEO as a founder and CEO. She's an a she's an a FAC a FAC as a founder and CEO. That's her acronym. Yeah, Danielle, we've been talking all summer, we were like all summer, like all season, about like whatever happened to Danielle's app? And so finally the show's like, oh yeah, remember she has an app?

Guess what, it's launching now out of nowhere. Yeah, she has an app, it's called Dawn. Dawn. But not like LeDawn, who makes Lauren squirt on Vanderpump rules. I don't know if anybody's forgotten that I hope not because I'm going to remind you of it every couple of weeks. Squirting.

The Don gave me the juicy squirts. No, this is Don D O N N E because to Don means to put on right on you don't you don't a sweater you wore a sweater. Yeah. Also, you got splooged all over and left a bed soaking wet in Reno. No, I was gonna say also like, in French, the word donne means to give. So I thought it was a play on that. It's like you're putting something on but you're also giving something but I

don't think that Danielle got that far apparently in her wordplay So instead it's just like a it's like a French spelling of the word dawn the English word dawn So one in American English dawn is also a comedian Don Rickles who Erica Jane's husband looks like So it could have been that just a whole app on Don Rickles jokes. I was like, finally, there's an app for looking like Don Johnson. You know, it took 40 years. But now I know where to get my white blazer. What blazer goes with these capris? Looking up on Don. So yeah, it's Don. And she's super excited. Okay. And everybody starts arriving. And Lauren, I guess, is the girl who put together the party.

And she's like, the main hangouts here, then we've got digital going on in the malls, DJs bumping fat beats over here. She's like, my god, is that Club Send It? Yeah, this was like a Club Send It pop-up experience in the middle of Midtown. This is a very exciting scene. We had lots of summer house cameos. It was like Lindsay's bridal shower. There were a lot of summer house cameos. I just want to say in this scene we got to see Alex from

from like a few seasons ago and we got to see Chris who actually has lines so we of course we see Chris. We saw that girl from Winterhouse in the background. What's her name? The bleach blonde one who came for Sam. Sam was also in the scene, right? We see Brian Benny. And there was like one other summer house. Anyway, it was just like it was like a night of 1000 stars. There was so much mediocre going on. The walls turned actual beige. Everything just turned beige in there. But yeah, let's

see what happened this party Dawn Danielle tell us the app is basically okay So I guess you upload your clothes to the app and then it picks what clothes are good for you I don't know if Danielle has seen herself dress lately But she went on watch what happens live a couple weeks ago and the outfit she wore was Ina Garten's outfit Yeah from literally every episode of that show And people made tons of memes about it. I don't need your dressing app, ma'am. This episode, she was also really playing with bangs.

I think we saw maybe last episode too, like a look where she has like some severe bangs going on, which like I support the hipster quality of that. But you know, I don't know. Hipster bangs. I don't. But I don the hipster quality of that, but you know. I don't know. You support hipster bangs, I don't. But I don't think it was really the right look for her. I don't support it. What are you looking for?

A pen, is there a pen over there? There's no, okay, let me look and see if there's a pen. I don't see a pen, do you need a spoon? No, I'm good. A spoon, yes. There's a spoon. I'm gonna write things with it. It's not working.

Right? My name's running with a spoon. Yeah, so she basically you put together different outfits. Okay, but this means you have to take a picture of everything. So imagine emptying your closet and taking a picture of every little thing and then you trust an app to put it all together. I do not this app is stupid. This idea is stupid. And it already exists. I suggest doing what you know. That's what they say do what you know

Danielle just needs an app called like want a party. Yeah, it's just sad people who need somebody to do coke with and like fuck them Yeah, I don't know if I don't know if I trust Danielle's AI on this app That's gonna like is it gonna be like a crowd source thing like you upload your thing your clothes and people say like oh You got this with this. She's got stylists on retainer. What's she saying here? Like, I've got stylus on retainer. Oh, so I guess there's stylus that look it over and put stuff together. I don't know. I feel like this just feels like an app that should have come out like eight years ago. It doesn't feel like we're past this with apps. I don't know. Yeah, I don't want my closet in my app.

I just see it having to upload all that stuff. But I mean, it could be really fun. I mean, Lord knows I need a help out, you know. Although if you rock a simple gray sweatshirt and jeans every single day, you kind of don't need this app. Yeah, I mean, you're talking to us as well. Like my whole suitcase is Old Navy. So I don't really need an app.

I've already got an app. It's called the Old Navy website. You know, I just, the Old Navy website is my app where I go on to look To see what hot people would look like in my outfits. It's really helpful Anyway, Jesse Salomon shows up at the party. He's all smiles, but then again, he's like literally all smiles all the time and He's but he's in a very good mood because he basically is cancer-free so he shows up and that's a good reason, but it's like, not a let down that he doesn't have cancer.

Like who would say that? I'm not, I really don't mean it that way. But they really built it up. And then they're like, what is it? Last week his mom's like, oh my God, Jesse, Jesse might have it again. What are we going to do? The whole life has thrown up a side down last time, Jesse.

Jess is like, mom, it's all right, like mom it's all right mom it's all right let's talk here at the bridge let's talk at the bridge mom we're gonna just wait for the call and then the next week he's like don't have it can't believe you even thought i had it had calcium on my nut it's like a water filter i hadn't changed it's basically a britter that i hadn't changed i've been drinking basically tap water with my balls. I didn't even know. I didn't even know, they didn't even text me to say the results, you know.

You know, they had to tell me, they had to actually make up a fake account on Tinder and say, hey, you're pretty hot. And I said, thanks. And she goes, by the way, it's calcium in your nuts. Gotcha, you doctor. Gotcha. My nuts are calcium heavy, but cancer free, isn't it?

Yeah. All right, where am I? So I'm really not reading notes to be honest. Yeah, so we scroll down a little bit. He basically is like, he's talking about, I was just like, it's really an emotional moment and et cetera, and he doesn't want to think about the past. The past doesn't really do it for me.

So then Danielle's like, guys, you want to meet my mom? He says that young people, the past doesn't do anything for me. The past does everything for me, okay? Your resentments, as you get older, your resentments start to die and it's very important to keep them alive. Look at your past and remember what you hate.

Yeah, there's my advice. Hey, Jesse, we can't wait to see your future film presently in the future. It's like like I took a time machine to like actually like, like right now. It's like he rides in the car and it just stops and he gets out. It's like, well, it's great. And you write the time she's annoyed set the time machine to like right now. I don't want to go to the past. Yeah. Okay. So we meet people.

This whole episode is people saying hello, by the way. We should have warned you. Hello, hello, hello. So who's Aida? That's the mom. So that's Aida, it looks like, is Danielle's mom. And saying hi, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. We're seeing all these cameos.

Okay. So then Lindsay, so Lindsay's saying hi to Danielle's mom and stuff and Carl is there and Lindsay's like Oh, I have just been walking on angels around Carl and then I've been like why there egg shells around here He's like, oh my god, you're torture. Where you why are you busy me? Oh, I just need you to be like a little softer and more tender with the egg shells because it's like why are you breaking all the eggs around? They call Carl can't even eat an egg. It's just like a hard-boiled egg. He's like, I just wish you were like softer. I just wish you were softer. Carl, what sort of egg are you having? Well, I'm gonna have an egg. But what type? I, well.

Did you ask? Did you like figure out what type of egg you're having? Yeah, I figured it out. I just, I, you know, we haven't like, it's just like a preliminary discussion about like what sort of egg. But it was a discussion of yourself. You're the only one who has to choose what sort of egg you're gonna have. Yeah, it's just like, you know, I just like wish you had like a preliminary discussion about like what's her bag. It was a discussion yourself. You're the only one who has to choose what sort of egg you're gonna have. Yeah, it's just like, you know, I just like wish you had like a little more support for like what's her eggs. I'm gonna have this morning. That's all. Yeah, it's a hard boil.

Okay, but it's really hurting my feelings. Not that you care. It's a hard boil egg. It took me a lot. Like this is like literally my dream to have a hard boiled egg right now. So let's see some more people hug Jessie and stuff, and then Paige comes, and she's like, oh my God, this looks adorable. You did such a good job.

Do you believe me? I'm going into acting. You're an idiot. I hate your habits, Stephen. Bye. It's so amazing that you created an app that could have one quarter of my fashion sense. Oh my God, I love all these options.

Fabulous, looks great, killing it. Could you add a D here for please die? That would be great. So what did you name your app? Did you name it Craig? Sorry, that's just the word I usually say for stupid. Chicken. Chicken. So then, Jesse, they're like, Carl's like, oh, do you tell any ladies in your life that you don't have cancer?

Oh. And Jesse's like, hey Carl. Leave it up to Carl to think about like, so as you're not having cancer about and you're laid this week. Oh. Jesse's like, yeah, hey by the way, I saw you pulling out of the driveway by yourself

and I was like, what, what? And then we see a flashback to Carl driving off because he was mad that Lindsay decided to go to Montauk or something. Or something, he got mad at Lindsay for taking a little space when he wouldn't even take our suitcase home. And how do we not have an ending about the suitcase?

Lindsay's just like, why is Lindsay letting everything go? You know, this whole season, people online are like, Lindsay's a terrorist, blah, blah, blah. Lindsay's such a monster. Why are you standing up for Lindsay? Lindsay's caused every terrorist attack in this country. Lindsay is the reason we have to take so long to go through airport security, etc. And now look, Lindsay, the man left her suitcase and she didn't even say anything. Where are the people apologizing online saying,? I'm sorry. Yeah, so we have actually really been

I think very vocal about pointing out Carl's Contributions to this failed engagement One thing I will say One thing I will say critical of Lindsay is that like for her to act blindsided that this engagement was not gonna work out It is kind of ridiculous because it's just every week these two are just even more and more miserable I don't know how anyone could be blindsided that this was not gonna work out yeah well yeah I mean if you're just used to car wrecks all the time it's just like what that's another normal yeah no a fish doesn't know it's in water so a fish doesn't

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the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Milli Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So Carl, so Jesse's asking Carl about like, like their situation. Carl's like, oh yeah, well, I slept in another room on Monday night. Yeah, it was really hard. I basically slept in the key. I moved the key into the apartment. I slept inside it, yeah.

Unfortunately, Lindsey moved her cardboard cut out into the room that I was sleeping in, so I still had somebody not being software tender. Well, I was gonna sleep in another room, but we had a situation where Siri asked me if I wanted to turn the lights off and I just was like, why are so many questions there? Just support me right now. Why are you asking so many questions?

My alarm went off and it was like snooze. I was like, how dare you? Yeah, you know, one of the reasons why I've not been able to send my resume out. How dare you? How dare you? One of the reasons why I haven't been able to sell my resume out so much is because if you forget to save it, the computer is like, do you want to save it? I'm like,

oh, just give me less and less work this resume right now. That's all I need. Oh, so you know, well, like, think about my career. Like, listen, I'm gonna do his best for me. Get a job, Carl. Get a fucking job. Lindsay's not telling you what to do. She's asking you what the fuck you're talking about, bro. She's like, what are you've been sitting on your ass for a year and a half claiming that you needed to like figure out your shit after Loverboy. And then when she says, okay, have you figured shit out because we're gonna get married and we need to have income,

we need to think about these things. Your instinct is to say, I'm gonna go back to Loverboy after all that. I've spent $20,000 to get over the trauma that Kyle put me through at Loverboy. I cannot wait to go back to Loverboy because I have not been to any job interviews since. Oh, so, better. Fucking loser. And then he's like, and I just wanted to trust

that I'm gonna make a good decision. Make one, make one. You know what I mean? Baby steps, make one, just start with one. Yeah, I think she just wants a a decision whether it's good or bad. So Meanwhile cut over time. I'm an intelligent person. So I'm just y'all We're all indulgent person. Oh

So I'm hanging on every car right now mostly cuz I'm out of them So Lindsay and Paige are talking and Lindsay she wants it over there maybe and be just like, oh my god Can we sit there? I just like love the opportunity to get on my feed. And Paige is like, no, I like love sitting. I was like, I think. To not been friends. I was like this spoke to Ronnie right now. It did.

It's a weird season for me. Really, really everywhere. Um, I'm just falling in love with new people every turn. I've always liked Paige and thought she was funny, but she's like in love. She's just having a banner season. I've always been a Paige fan. Yeah. And these two and these two sitting on the couch together and just bonding over how much standing sucks. You know, that's just beautiful. It's a beautiful it's like a rom-com. Is it possible that Carl has been the one pitting Paige and Lindsay against each other? Because

don't forget, when Paige came on to the show, Carl was like sweating Paige, you know, he was like going after her, you know, taking her out on Wednesday morning dates to have pancakes and things like that. And she's totally into me. Yeah. So like, maybe he was the one who like bred the real acrimony between the two women for so many years. It would match his playbook. Yeah, it would. I'm not going to put it past him. But I just don't. The only thing that doesn't ring true is it just requires effort, which I don't see Carl putting into anything ever. Yeah, that's true too. Or forethought. So Craig is there too, by the way. He's like, hey, chicken. So he sits down and when he's like, did Ping tell you about the astrological leader? And we have a

flashback to that lady who's swinging her H&M pendant over a thing. Pages just like, okay, is Lindsay stupid? Yes. Is Lindsay trash? Yes. Does Lindsay know how to dress? No. Okay.

How old is Lindsay? Oh my god, it won't stop. It won't stop. It won't stop. All right. I stopped it at my B7. I was just being kind. Is there any way that Lindsay and I stopped it at my V7. Just being kind. Is there any way that Lindsay and I could ever become friends? Yes. Is it because we both like to sit? Oh, okay. I guess that's the way in.

So then they're talking about whether Craig and Paige are gonna move to the Sun. And Paige. I've to the same city forever. And Paige is- I've had enough of this conversation, I'm done. I don't care if you move to the same city anymore. Just don't. Just don't let them move to the same city. No one needs Craig around full-time, okay?

The man stabs walls. Just have your baby, have your mom help you raising the baby, and Craig can still come in every once, once every couple of weeks. Or send the baby to Craig, Whitney and Patricia will be great alternate parents Whitney will be very confused

Like trying to do like the the hanger game trying to move the baby food into the hangers like all the hair open How's this working in mother? Oh Whitney come on now So don't even understand how to use your own private plane and a private baby hanger. I'm just a failure as a mother now. So I guess we're gonna have to cross that bridge when it comes to it. I mean, I guess we're probably gonna avoid that discussion. Pete's like, yeah, I avoid that.

So is Craig gonna move to New York? Guys, I'm not having this conversation anymore. I'm done, figure it out. Okay, so Lindsey's like, So are you coming out this weekend, Craig, and he's got an engagement party. And now Sierra, let's say hello to Sierra Sierra and was this is just more Hello, Sierra says, Hello, West says Hello, Gabby says hello, everyone says Hello, you guys, there's no shame in having a 14 episode season.

Instead of a 15, it's okay. Yeah, Sierra's talking to Paige about her date with West, and she says that West's dad sent her all these videos about how to ride a horse and things like that. And Gabby is like, hey West, so are you afraid to take that next step and commit? And he's like, um, I, um. Yeah, that's too long.

That's too long, you took too long to answer that. Yeah. And then Carl is talking to Danielle and he's like, Hey, just like one piece of advice, like just imagine everybody's like, and then they have to use your app to get to us. You got this. Yeah. And none of them have veneers. So yeah, you got it. You got it. You can do this. Just know even if you feel miserably right now and earners. So yeah, you got it. You got it. You can do this. Just know even if you feel miserably right now and are nothing. Kyle will offer you something. Yeah, just remember

that if you just can fail at everything, make terrible decisions, and actually, even if you can even make a decision in the first place, it'll still work out well for you. Oh, that's right. That's right. You're a woman. So no, not at that at all. Sorry. So Jim, the Don co-founder comes up and it's time to, time to give a speech. Okay. So Danielle's like, guys, I truly wish I was off book here. Everyone's like, that's okay.

We all wish we were off this party right now somewhere else. For the first time in my life, I wish I was on books, meaning I wish I had one to read. Craig's looking under Danielle's feet to see where the book is. For the first time in my life, I wish I was on books Meaning I wish I had one to read Craig's looking under Danielle's feet to see where the book is There's no actual book when you're up buck so So she does this whole thing a whole should be like hi. I am Danielle Hey, have you ever wanted to attract the hottest balloon guy in the Hamptons use our app? You'll dress better and it'll be better. Thanks, Mom. I dedicate this to you.

You have a digital copy of your entire wardrobe. Now, Don will make countless outfit recommendations right before you even have your morning coffee. For instance, wanna look chic for a good day-tonight look? Try a balloon doggy. Wrap it around yourself. Sorry sorry our AI was built by my hookup want to find dick wear pirate sleeves and stand in a room with Phillips Hughes lights want to get some real straight girl talk about how you're doing the you do the most and he does the least I'm your girl for example you need crop top jeans dick dick dick dick dick dick every download of dawn comes with a

complimentary one-week pass on the LI double R so what are you waiting for not the train. Cropped top jeans dick pie chart. Like Daniel, this app makes no sense. Just don't trust us. Ask everyone else on the app. Okay. I'm going to we need to our homework before the next week is to download Dom and ask people on the app about dolls. Yeah. Let me see. Let me Oh, do you Oh, we're in Britain. I wonder if there's like a different app store here. Let's see. Let's

take a look. See, here's called the app store. Here's called silly person. So that market. That's the podcast. Okay, app store. We're going to the application store applications market. Up to date with notifications. Netnet. Okay, let's look up Don Don. Don. DonO-N-N-E. Donnie McKechnie. All right. It's Don and McKechnie's brother. Oh, always something to wear. Let's see, what are the reviews? Well, there's no reviews. Listen, this may take a while to sort through all 10 reviews. Oh, good God. Three and a half stars. The first review says send it looking for dick. Anyone

have dick? Would you like to do shots? Alright, let's read the reviews. Okay, oh god, it's a long description. Okay, so... 3.5 stars. Here's one. Here's a five star review that says I truly... an absolute lifesaver. I truly have a shopping and then once purchased an organizational problem, leaving my closet chaotic at best. I am so thankful for this app to organize my brain around outfit choices and inventory so I can start my day stress-free and looking my best. Thanks, Bot. Yeah, thanks, Danielle. Do we have any... Is that the only testimony?

That was it. That was it. Well guys, get on there. Let's let's wait some reviews I'm gonna get on there later and put my my knee capri pants in with my other knee capri pants Let's see what it gives me. Hopefully it says capri pants cuz I've got a lot of them Okay, so she gets her speech Sounds, you know, there is this by the way, there is an app called Donna and That has 21 reviews and it's doing much better than Don. Safe women. Protection for women. Well that's good. That's good. Yeah, it's like

protect yourself. Don't wear crop tops with jeans. It's for women living in Latin America providing them with the tools and resources they need to stay safe and protect their rights. All right, how about that Donna? Two apps right in a row they can use. I thought it was an app for what do you do when you fall over holding a baby like Melissa's mom did. Donna. Donna. Okay, so um. Let's fucking party! Commercial break. Now it's my birthday. Friday August 25th.

This happened on your birthday while you were, what, at Beyonce? This was happening. Yeah. birthday while you were what at Beyonce this was happening yeah what a great birthday gift to know that on your birthday Carl and Lindsay were actively crumbling apart yeah that's super sad I was like wow way to start the year and I had a covid so Carl and Amanda are driving to the Hamptons time to go back to the Hamptons. And now they're talking about earrings and stuff. Amanda's like your parents pull completely fucking destroyed my earrings Kyle. They used to be golden now they look black. The pools like I was doing this for us doing this for us. Just everything in Kyle's family is like that. Oh, and so Kyle's like, I'm just glad we could all come together and celebrate my dad's 80th, you know?

He's a badass, he's 80 and he's still partying. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, most people when they're 80, they're basically gonna die, but my dad, he's like, let's play the pickleball. I'm like, maybe death is the better option. I'm literally exhausted I'm not one of those people that's like I can't wait to get to 80 and play pickleball I'm like, I can't wait to get to 80 and be dead. Okay, I'll be dead by then. Please just I'm tired Okay, that's it's nothing but a long nap. Stop worrying about it so much and just give me a goddamn blanket So for those who don't remember Kyle and Amanda had a huge horrific like foundationally

shattering like marriage shattering argument last week. That was dark. I just wished for death. Don't do that. Don't kill me world. Well, now they've swept their fight under the rug. Kyle's like, oh, Amanda and I are very different. She didn't sign up for this entrepreneurial life.

She just signed up for a life of whining and be waking up late. So all the stress would come to this. So she has other interests and passions with air quote interests and passions. And I don't know, she can go to Old Navy and come up with things to do. Yeah, but like she's a full time employee of Loverboy. And if she wasn't, I wouldn't be able to blame her for her failure like I do. But you know, people are counting on us. That's the point. And she's like I just thought like entrepreneurs start a business and they like sell it within five years And here we are. It's just like not what I thought married life would look like

It's also not what I thought my earrings would look like after I went swimming Kyle It's not what Kyle's hair would look like. It's not what I thought Kyle's hair would look like Kyle's hair would look like, it's not what I thought Kyle's hair would look like. Kyle! Meanwhile, in the Kia of Despair, ooh, beautiful. In the Kia of Despair, Carl and Lindsay are riding along, and Lindsay is clearly trying to just say neutral things, that way Carl doesn't, you know, get all upset. So they're like, wow, it kind of looks like we're, like, driving in the apocalypse, you know?

Like, where's guys? Is that gonna offend you at all? It's like, no, no, it's like the end of the world, ha ha. Like making a decision, ha. Yeah, that's what the apocalypse is, Carl. Why are you questioning me? Well, I'm just saying it's the apocalypse and you're saying it's the end of the world. All I'm trying to do is tell you the same thing. Ha ha ha ha ha.

What am I doing? I feel like- What am I doing? I feel like every time I talk about the apocalypse you you're just like, oh, it's so mad. Carl, just because it's called Mad Max does not mean I'm actually mad at you, Carl. Oh yeah, you know what this is? This is the apocalypse where you pick everything apart.

It's like, maybe. Carl, it's like, this is like literally not the end of the world talking about the apocalypse. It's like actually like very much exactly what it is. And the fact that you don't even recognize that, like it's just like rude. It's just like really rude. So she asked it where Kyle and Amanda, like why they were in New Hampshire, and he's like, oh it's Kyle's dad's 80th birthday. She's like, oh, okay. So are you guys expecting to have any follow-up conversations about Loverboy? 80 years old, huh? That's interesting.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, so I would like to chat with him some more because I have like some things I'd like to share with him that I would have envisioned. Like I was thinking like the conversation goes sort of like this. Yeah, yeah, cool. Cool. Cool. Yeah, no questions. Cool.

So what happened to you and Vishen? He's like, oh, so like consulting fee per month and like, commissions on sales. It's just, yeah, I'm just making sure that's clarified. Yeah, so you're really putting a lot of stress on me right now. I'm just like trying to like have like a meeting with a friend and like have my dreams come true. Like, why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me?

So basically, you're going in there and you're asking for everything that Lindsay was fighting for you last year whenever you won Caldera Terrace. But also like is that really a vision? I want a consulting fee and a commission on sales. That's more like a negotiation element. Do you have a vision for your role? You want it to grow? That's the sort of things you want to do?

How you want to build it out? Like what your presence is going to be? What your commitment is to the travel? I'm so the jerk. I'm so the jerk. So a lot of questions right now. I'm a soda jerk. I'm a soda jerk. So a lot of questions right now. I'm a soda jerk. So then Danielle and Gabby pull up to the house

and I cannot believe Gabby still drives with Danielle. I know, especially after that whole ride. After that whole balloon situation, I'm shocked. So they're talking about like, what's their fun, what are they gonna drink, are they gonna have vodka? Because Danielle's of course like, vodka, are we gonna have vodka, are we gonna have shots, are we gonna get shit-faced fries, where's their phone? What are they gonna drink? Are they gonna have vodka? Because Danielle's of course like vodka, we're gonna have vodka, we're gonna have shots.

We're gonna get shitfaced fries dick weekend, right? This is this dickpocalypse, right? Dickpocalypse. This is the apocalypse. OK, Gabby's like, oh, my God, they go inside and then Kyle and Amanda show up next. And Daniel's like, anyone want a last weekend shot? Last weekend shot, last weekend shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. So like, great, thanks, thanks Daniel. So more bags arrived and everything.

And so- This is literally another 10 minutes of saying hello, by the way. Scrolling through these notes like, hello, hello, hi. Hi, love your outfit. Hello, hello, love your outfit. Hi, hi, love your outfit. Love your outfit when a cragan page moving into

Yeah, and, and they're also by the way, like Amanda's giving Jesse a hug because she didn't get to hug him. I congratulations. Kyle sees Lindsey and he goes, Oh, wow, you're very poof forward today. She's just yeah. He's like, it's like peekaboo. Your boobs are a window into your soul. Yeah, and you're a boob. Her boobs are a window into your soul. Okay, they're a mirror into your soul. Yeah, boob. Yeah. So, um, Kyle's like,

hold on. There's a lot of hellos. There's just a lot of hellos. And then they're asking about Paige about Craig because Craig is not here this weekend because he has something to go to. But he was there the whole week in New York and Paige is like yeah Craig and I have like a very interesting relationship I think he wants me to need him more that's just like not my personality I just don't need stupid people in my life so I just like try to give him a little you know like hey I would die without you but like let's be honest I literally I

would literally live without him. Like I would actually do the exact opposite of that. I would actually thrive without him. He's just funny though. I just tell Craig I love him a lot, but I don't remind him that it's opposite state. It's not that I would die without him. I just would die without the option to throw little pebbles at his head. So she's like, okay, um, we need to get changed for dinner. So you guys haven't even looked at my outfit. Take a look at it, get a mental picture.

Here you go in case you wanted to see it with sunglasses. Here's your shot. Guess where it's not from? Old Navy. Sorry, I was not paid enough to fake that every single week. Goodbye. Goodbye. So everyone's going to go get changed and everything.

And then Sierra tells us that they're going to be throwing a surprise party for Jessie. It's a cancer-free party and everything. And she can't imagine how stressful it would be to have this like yearly scans, etc. like weighing on him. So they're going to do that. And then meanwhile, now everyone's getting ready. We see Carl and Lindsay. And these two have literally, there's just literally no more love or passion between the

two of them left. They're just like speaking in these pleasantries, just trying to avoid minefields as they talk about anything. Yeah. It's like, this is nice. Yeah. You look very pretty. I like bell bottoms. You know that? Just think.

Yeah, I do know that you like bell bottoms. I love bell bottoms. Why do you like bell bottoms? Why are you questioning me? You have a vision for what you're going to wear tonight, Carl? Yeah, I mean, I just like, it's going to be like, like something on the top, something on the bottom. Anything more than that? Like, like, it's just a lot of questions.

So a lot of questions right now. Ha! Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly.

On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a b****. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds.

So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then they go to the restaurant and she's, I don't know, everyone's complimenting, this is literally like a whole show of people saying hello. I can't. So now they drive to the restaurant, they're like, hi, hi, you parked, you parked,

oh my God, we're in a restaurant, here we are, you look great, you look great. End the show, just end the, it's been a great season, I'm not complaining about the season, but wrap it up. They get in and they all like, you know, they cheer for Jesse they have like balloons that are shaped sort of like his balls and everything and he's like all happy and they're getting like especially cocktails and shrimp cocktails a lot of like penis ball jokes

and everything like that and they order all this food and Jesse's like hey I just I want to say I'm like extremely appreciative of you guys and like I'm so glad you guys like really showed me some love and cared about me and so like I wrote a little song so you guys want to hear it? Let's call it Jesse Song and we'll do and then he literally sings for like 10 minutes long. 10 minutes? Really? He did 80s town he did the entire 80s town. It was just like it went on and on and on he didn't even bother memorizing his own lyrics He's sitting there singing off of his phone How dare you I'm a phone singer Did you sing off your phone at the yes? Well, never mind then I always sing off my well

I actually knew the words this time but Yeah, it's a crutch. You know always have a crutch. You never know. You just never know. We're in a land We're in a world of karaoke. Okay, I don't want to get caught up there. I've been ruined by karaoke. But yeah, he sings off his notes. He does the whole show. It's cute. It's cute. It goes on a long time. I'm like kind of embarrassed.

Like the other people in the restaurant, like you can tell they weren't actual diners because I think anyone would be turning around and being like, who is this person singing a song to this group of people? Like, but instead everyone's just like pretending to eat their food I was like, that's not an authentic restaurant. Those are not real diners. Those are PAs

Those are interns have been told to sit in there to make it look like a real restaurant because a real restaurant would be like 20 Katie Maloney's and everyone would be taking everyone had their cameras out. Yeah, exactly Not having it including me. So he does that, which is cute. Jesse, here's the thing about Jesse. Jesse seems like really nice, I guess, in a way. He seemed like a total douche at first. Then he seemed kind of nice. Now we're all like, we like him,

because also, you know, he's got a storyline of like, poor guy, you know, he's going through a lot. But he's like that kid, when I was a kid, my parents would always be like, oh, Ronnie loves to sing, and they'd like make me get up there, and it was always so mortifying, and I just wanted to put my head in a trash can, and my parents would always be like, oh, Ronnie loves to sing and they'd make me get up there and it was always so mortifying and I just wanted to put my head in a trash can and my cousins would make fun of me,

but they made me do it every single time. Jesse's the kid who wanted to do that. Jesse's the kid whose parents is like, you wanna sing? And he's like, hello! You know, that makes me hate him and resent him. And I can't help it. I get that it's projection from my own childhood,

but Rhonda wishes that you were her child, so have at it.'t help it. I get that it's projection from my own childhood, but Rhonda wishes that you were her child, so have at it, have at it. My only thing with Jesse is that I just wish his voice were better. Like he has like a nice voice. And I said before, I said he has the voice of like a cantor at a synagogue. But like he went to school for like jazz,

vocal jazz performance or something like that. I just want his voice to be like amazing. Like if you went if you went if you studied like I want I want that voice to be like on right and it's not. I don't know I think his handsomeness just blinds him. I don't remember ever what his voice sounds like but his handsomeness blinds him and I like that both of the summer houses have kind of mediocre singers trying to win people over. Yeah, because on the other one, we've got that John Legend's cousin. Yeah, I mean, Jesse is I mean, Jesse is a great addition.

He is so handsome and he seems so nice. But the other shoe is going to fall next season. I guarantee he's going to get up. He's due for a bad at it. I hope he cheats with Amanda. That's my especially after reading all of the Internet conspiracy theories, because I think that he has Chemistry who did I say he had chemistry with Amanda? No Sierra you were saying Sierra No, oh, yeah, Sierra. I was saying Sierra

When you said it it didn't click with me, but yeah, I said Sierra. He's got energy with Sierra But people on the internet are saying he has a lot of energy with Amanda and that would be a fun affair And I think the whole internet would be behind that actually yeah, so now it's after this dinner party Everyone's coming back. It's like 1 a.m. so the door is stuck yet again yet again the door was stuck and everyone's just filtering into the house so Carl and Lindsay go to their room and they're pretending like they love each other. I was like, Hey, you all right? Why don't you put your arms around me? Come closer. Put your weight

on me. And he's grabbing her butt and they're giggling. He's like, Wow, you don't feel like cardboard today. Oh, wait a minute. Wrong Lindsay. Wrong Lindsay. Whoa, Hawkway. Sorry. Can I get the Blockbuster store Lindsay back? I'll be right. So now it's the morning, now it's Saturday morning. I'm so glad we got to be saw them all walk into the house and then say little things.

Hi, house, hi. Hi, good to see you. We're gonna go to bed tonight. We're gonna go to bed tonight, okay. We'll grab it. And we see the sun come up. I'm like, great, you know, we did come back from commercial. We could have just started in the morning, but that's okay.

So everyone is making their beds. And so West is asking, you know, just being cute with Sierra, offering to get our stuff. And Carl and Lindsay seem like they're doing okay. It's just like people waking up. It's so funny, because I was like, this episode was so good. But when you actually read through the notes, it's like, now they're waking up.

And now they're waking up. And now they're waking up again. I mean, it is kind of a summer house, but when you actually read the notes, it's like, now they're waking up, and now they're waking up, and now they're waking up. I mean, it is kind of summer house, but like, come on. Okay, so then Kyle and Wes and Jesse are all talking, and they're in bed together. And Jesse's like, it's gonna be so weird now that you have a job now, Wes, that's just crazy. And he's like, yeah, I was, you know, I was doing stuff,

we just, you know, I doing stuff we just you know I just didn't have a job just a little boy and Kyle's like yeah you're just going horseback ride on Tuesdays you're as what I heard you're going to have the horseback ride with girls yeah hey what's the future plans for you in Sierra yeah put a label on I was like oh well you know we talked about that on the horseback ride and I was trying to like define it and I was just like, sounded like such a stupid fucking idiot and I could tell she was like, what the fuck is this guy saying, am I right?

And then it comes to the girl. No, I think she heard you saying, what you were saying. You were saying, I want to romance you until you fuck me and I don't wanna date you at all. Yes. But have fun meeting my mom, cause she's met everybody that I fucked and I don't care. So then the girls are talking about it and Sarah was like, Yeah, it was good. I mean, we had a semi serious conversation ended with like him. I asked him if he was talking to other bitches and he was like, Yeah, I'm texting

other people and I was like, Okay. And Amanda's like, and then you punched him in the dick because that's what I would have done. And Paige is like, I've watched you in other relationships and right now you're in that spot where you're either like, I'm about to put a wall up and be like, fuck off or you're gonna fall really hard or you're just gonna fly to Charleston anyway. I'm at the point in my relationship where I just, when I get a straw at a restaurant,

I take the paper and I roll it into a little ball and throw it at Craig's eye. I'm at that point in my relationship where when the waiter comes and they say, what do you want? I say not to move in with Craig. And then I watch him cry for a while and it's delicious. Uh, I'm at the point in our relationship where the, when the waiter then says, may I tell you about the specials? And I say, let me guess, is one of the specials a meal with stupid? Cause that's what I'm doing right now. My favorite thing to tell the waiter is please don't even try to serve me a meal

with a special. I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I one of the specials a meal with stupid? Cause that's what I'm doing right now. My favorite thing to tell the waiter is please don't even try to serve me chicken. I've had so much of it. I'm really sick of it. I never want to see chicken again for the rest of my life. And then I watch Craig cry. It's so funny. Even the waiter laughs. Old Navy. Just kidding. She's not even anymore, so they're talking about how like, you know, like

like on the one hand, Wes will be like, Oh, I want you to meet the parents, but he's like so casual about it and that he's just like a jokester all the time. Everything is a joke. Everything is funny. And Amanda's like, yeah. And then like, you're like the biggest joke. And so I was like, whoa, I know,, you're like the biggest joke. And Sierra's like, whoa. I know, but Sierra earned that from Amanda.

Yeah. She's like, do you feel like you have any identity outside of Kyle? I don't. So yeah, no, Sierra's basically like, they're like, imagine like what will happen if like this whole summer, like, it's just like all a big prank or whatever.

And Sierra's like, that's gonna like make me cry right now and Paige is like oh my god don't cry laugh because we're laughing we've been laughing at you all summer long yeah I kind of feel for Sierra but you know I just really like her so I guess that's why I feel for her because the sensible part of me is like you're not gonna fall in love in summer house you You know what I mean? Right. I know it's happened. Look who it's happened for. A man and Kyle. There's Jay, Lindsay and Carl. That's it. That's like literally it. So I mean, Craig and Paige. So that's good. But he's from a different franchise. That's not there. He's from a different. Yeah. I don't think there's been any other love story that's really come out of this show that's been

Well, I think Cory and Sam Yeah, I don't think these hookup shows are where to find your love, you know, but she's nursing now I think she's a nurse again. So That's where to find it. You're all doctors nurses patients. I mean, there are so many rich people Who are intelligent and loving who have heart attacks You know what? I mean get one of them get them while they have a bedpan, you know, get them while they're down That's what I say. So now everyone goes in the kitchen They're all they're all having breakfast and they're talking about they're gonna decorate because they're having a party this weekend

It's an end-of-the-world party. It's like a Mad Max apocalyptic post apocalyptic thing for a moment I literally looked up, I was like, is Furiosa, is that a Universal movie? Because I was like, if this is a tie-in for Furiosa, I'll be like, that is the most ridiculous thing. And they're like, okay, well, listen, we are going to be releasing a new Mad Max movie and we want, for corporate synergy,

we wanna make sure your summer house party is a corporate tie-in with this movie. But they did not, it's actually a Warner Bros. movie. This is a journey that I went on my own. I don't think it's very compelling to people. But I'm letting you know for a moment, I really thought this was Bravo doing another ridiculous thing like that. Well, yeah, because really they could use Furious on any show, because literally they've

got so many Furiosas on these shows, you know, just like throwing a Teresa clip. I would love to see. I would love to see the cast of summer house like in the middle of Mad Max Just trying to like fend for themselves and be on like a truck while other like people on sticks are bouncing back and forth and throwing Bombs at them. No, so actually the perfect thing for the hub house wedding Was the hub house wedding And then a truck's gonna go right through us and then they'll be a guy on a guitar like on the front of the truck it'll be great. So now everyone's having breakfast and Kyle's like, guys are we gonna send it or are we gonna send it? What are we gonna do? Are we gonna send it? Are we gonna send it? And Daniel's like, we're gonna fucking send it. Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick.

Dick was the original name of her app. Dick. You can't do that. Okay, dog. Dick, it just shows you what dick goes with which dick. Just show all the dick that you want. Take pictures of all the dick you want and it's gonna match up with dick. So now they're decorating for this party,

and they're taking like doll parts and dangling them everywhere, and Paige is like, I don't know what we're doing, like making a necklace with baby parts, like how did we find ourselves here? Is it because we went to Old Navy? Is this what happens? It is closer, it is sort of the end of the world

when I step into Old Navy. Makes sense. So then Danielle's like, it looks kind of sick, I'm not gonna lie. You know, Paige is like, oh God, that means this is terrible. I'm embarrassed, I'm going back to the city. And Carl's like, oh, we're not getting this security deposit back. Aw.

Of course I'm talking about my wedding venue, I just got the news. I don't know if you realize, I called off the wedding, I haven't told anyone yet. Don't worry about the ring. It was never real. So now Carl and Kyle sit down in the front room and club send it daytime. Club send it during the day as they say we work.

We send it. Yeah, just we send it. We fax it. Yeah, we're gonna have a meeting here and we send it. So they sit down. We fax it. Yeah, we're gonna have a meeting here and we send it. Yeah. And so they sit down and Carl's like, well, I feel like this is obviously not the ideal situation.

Ha. I'm covered in sweat, I'm building for the party, but I did wear my formal white pants. So. So Carl's like, so I've been thinking about this for a while and if you think back to some of our conversations even last year when I was kind of like, you were on your way out,

I was kind of dangling this non-alch because I thought things had been taking off for a while now and I always thought this could be kind of like a full circle moment for us, you know? Yeah, well, Loverboy was like an extension of you and Mandel and I think that non-alcohol could be an extension of me. It could really show my personality. Like I did nothing to come up with it.

I'm gonna put no work into it. I just kind of show up and expect to be handed money. So, sounds good, right? I'm looking for my notes. Have I been saying non-alcohol all this time? Or is this non-work? Because I'm down for non-work. So I was like, yeah, so I wanted to give you something

like to at least like mull over, you know? We all and so then the background, Lindsay walks through the house and she overhears, right? But then she just walks through, she doesn't interrupt. She was like, she was just like going around. I'm sure she can hear, you know, cause that house is designed that way that everyone can hear everything.

It's like, whoops, I'm so sorry to interrupt your meeting. I just wanted to set my phone right here. Okay. So as you may remember from the car, Carl said that he wants to have a consulting fee and a commission on everything. So Kyle says, he's like, yeah, I'm thinking like, I'll give you a small monthly stipend, like a retainer, and then like you can have recurring revenue and like three random months.

He's like, yeah, I'm just taking some notes right now. Ha, I'm like a very like corporate person right now who likes to work. So I'm just gonna take some notes. Yeah. It's like, Carl, I think you're just filling out a hinge application. Oh yeah, I'm sorry.

So it was not a bit, it's not a bit of a lift, Carl, but like you're literally working with us about marketing directions and any event you come to to ground will pay your way And yeah, like 10% of sales and that's merch It's not out just to get you back in the swing of things like you know posting But I want you to be able to like track your impact. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then like from time to time like when you expect like, uh, wait Hold on. I got a question cuz I'm like a really I'm like a really I'm like really corporate and I like I do work

Here's my question. Uh When to start? Now here's the thing the reason why I come down so hard on Carl about these things is that I totally do this interviews Like if I actually I used to always pre-write all my questions because that would keep me on track But like lately I'm like I'm an adult I don't need to like pre-write anything and now anytime I go to an interview for anything I always am like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then afterwards I'm like, oh shit I forgot to ask every single question that I need to ask, you know

So like I get how it's like easy to like forget how to ask questions, but also like Carl You should ask questions. I don't think he has me That's I think he's just like give me whatever I'll take whatever and then I can just get mad if some you know Like you're handing me money. I'll take it sure And it does sound like a pretty good deal. I mean it depends on how many live events there are a month But two grand per live event Yeah, and so, Carl, so, Kyle's basically like-

Something to do with this, I'm trying to add it up in my head, but I don't know, basically, he has to do nothing but show up, and then he says something about posting, like, we'll get you back in the swing of things, like posting, so I imagine a lot of this is just like, we're paying you X amount a month

just to have this on your Insta. So he's getting three grand a month, which is actually less than $1,000 a week. That's what, that's like 850. So post probably a certain amount of times on his Insta, right? Right, that's just like the retainer fee is like $850 a week, which is minimum wage

is probably about 500 a week, 600 a week. So it is pretty low. Well, it's low, but considering he's not doing anything, basically he's being paid to go promote at events. Yeah. That's it. Essentially. And it's also like only for a certain segment of this, like what is it?

The non-alk. The non-alk. It's the non-alk. So either way, so Kyle, Kyle basically says this is what I'm thinking about, and Carl's like, y'all, let me just take some notes, and when would I start? Okay, great. He doesn't like math. Can I just say it's a little late to be on the flavored water

It's a little late to be on the sprint strain, but good luck. Good luck with buble. Did you notice that? They kept posting buble they kept like it's the new crib They showed like a extreme close-up, which is either like they're either it's like it's either a sponsor or it's like it's so shitty They're like, uh-huh. Yeah, they have loveroverboy has a non-alcoholic. Here's what we act. Here's the non-alcoholic that's actually paying our bills. Yeah, it was it seemed like they were doing it on purpose, which is weird. But yeah, I don't you know, I don't know. The guys

are kind of trash recently and always on and off always on this show. But I like the I like the people on this show in general. Yeah, and I don't want to see them fail. And I don't wanna see them fail. I don't wanna see the business fail. We've met a majority of them and they've all been really nice people. Yeah, I don't wanna be like, oh yeah, I want everybody to fail.

This is all stupid. But it is late for being on a soda thing and I think Carl needs to go get a real job and prove himself. You can't just rely on your friend giving you fucking influencer work for the rest of your life. Go do something, dude. Make an effort.

Well, it was just such a passive conversation. I actually don't fault Kyle on this. Kyle's like, here's what my vision is and I think what we don't see and again we fully understand this is a reality show and things are edited out. There may have been a much larger conversation that was had but what we don't really see is Carl putting forth his vision at all. I'm just going, oh okay I'm just gonna write some notes. Oh great, when do I start?

Come on Carl, you have to be a little bit more, you have to be like a little bit more proactive. You just, you know. About what to do. Some people just aren't, and that's okay, too. You know, you're just not with the right person. So then they're still decorating, et cetera, et cetera,

and then they, it's really like, hey, hi, are you decorating? I'm decorating, hey, hi, are you decorating? I'm decorating. Hey, neighbor, you decorating? I'm decorating as well. So now Wes and Jesse are talking about the surprise party. Jesse was so grateful for it, et cetera. And then he felt like he couldn't really make

any big decisions in his life until he found out what was going on. Because when you've got cancer, you get put into this like circuit of like, doctor, doctor, doctor, visit, visit, visit, visit. And then when you're not in it, you can like go off and be free. So now he's like, I get to be free, get to live life.

It was, you know, it's a nice sentiment. It's nice. I'm bored. So then Paige and Amanda, and the girls are getting ready basically, and they're putting on crazy outfits, like apocalypse outfits. And Paige is like, in an alternate universe, I'm like an emo chick. Gross.

Also apparently in an alternate universe, I'm an old Navy chick. And unfortunately we stepped into that universe for like a second this season and I was terrified. One thing has changed my clothes. One thing that has not changed, Amanda's still really pathetic. But I love her. So everyone's putting makeup on and makeup on and now we go to a Carl and Lindsey scene. So Carl and Lindsey are in their room and they're putting on their outfit and everything. Lindsey's putting on her boots. Oh, these two hate each other's guts. It's so funny watching them try to have a romantic scene because they're wearing costumes. So Carl's got chains on his. Wait, why is Carl dressed like apocalyptic Michael Jackson right now? Right? He's wearing like a black

blazer with like the like the ring, like the ringleader sort of fringe and everything. Yeah, like metal fringe. Like Michael Jackson's uniform. But it's like apocalyptic so it's like torn and it's open. Yeah. And she's like, oh my god I can hear you coming from a mile away. Like y'all pretending she doesn't want to murder him for his fucking dangles because you know she's like, why are you getting dangles? Why are you dressed like Michael Jackson? This is not apocalyptic. This just looks like a ringleader who just got into a car accident. And he's like, yeah, I know you're my little dangles.

Oh, dangle dangle. Hey, you need a hand with the boots? Yeah, I've got like a really good vision. So I'm like thinking like he'd get a consulting fee and then like, you know, like, you know, an extra $200 for every shoelace that I untie. I don't know. So she's like, so, um, this is so fun talking about dangles, but how was your meeting with Kyle?

Just ask him casually, not that I really care. And he goes, yeah, I saw you walk by, which is his way of being like, were you eavesdropping? Why were you eavesdropping? This is my big boy moment. Yeah, I had to look around for the bunny to make sure it wasn't boiling, glad clothes. And then she's like, yeah, I didn't want to interrupt

or distract you, which is my way of saying, no, that I didn't interrupt or distract you. And I kept doing like, yeah, I didn't want to like interrupt or distract you, which is my way of saying no, that I didn't interrupt or distract you. And I kept doing it, letting you have your big boy moment. I don't know. I hope you didn't hear me muttering. Don't fuck this up, stupid, as I've asked. But I was. Yeah, I was like totally, I wasn't paying attention to you guys because I was filling out your resume on monster.com. That's all. So he's like, oh, yeah, I mean, it was, I thought, oh, very positive conversation.

I don't know if your listening devices felt so, but you know, we talked about, you know, what a monthly retainer would be like $3,000. And I'm not going to be an employee of Loverboy. I'm going to be consulting for Loverboy for the non-alc product. Like, oh, and she goes, um, so like he went outsourcing services? Well, I can clarify that again, but I think I told him that. I was like, oh.

Carl, if you're gonna be a consultant, yes, he's outsourcing your services. But why is it also like a issue? I think, Carl, the thing is, I just want Carl to say, that wasn't my interpretation of it, but maybe I'll go ask him out, whatever. And there's something about, there thing is, I just want Carl to say that wasn't my interpretation of it, but maybe I'll go as small or whatever. And there's something about, there's so, I guess my version, the exact same as his version,

but there's just something so annoyingly weak about him being like, oh yeah, but I could clarify. That just say like, like just say, maybe, I don't know. It doesn't really matter. The point is I'll be consulting, you know, like there's something about like, oh, well, I could clarify that because you told me to clarify something good boyfriend right now you're getting a $3,000 a month fee to consult and you're getting $2,000 in the event so if she's saying he's outsourcing yes he's using

he's not an employee he just said that I don't understand I don't understand this conversation I don't understand why he can't be like, I don't understand why he can't live in that, right? Like why he can't say, yeah, I wouldn't be an employee. I'd be a consultant. Because the reason why he can't live in that is because he's probably afraid that she's gonna say, so you don't really have a job or just a consultant.

Well, I mean, a consultant is a job, but you're not like hired full-time. Right. This is a provisional job or whatever. So he's like, yeah, I mean, a consultant is a job, but you're not hired full-time. Right. This is a provisional job or whatever. So he's like, I guess I could clarify that. So she goes, But remember how when we were in the car,

I was like, make sure you clarify. And he's like, Yeah, well, I explained the Radke boys. I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. Okay. And she's like, Yeah, so did you clarify? He's like, Yeah. So now he's like, I could. Okay. And she's like, yeah, so did you clarify? He's like, yeah.

So now he's like, I could clarify. And then she's like, so did you? He's like, yeah, no, I did clarify. But what was the, I explained the Radke Boys part. I don't remember that. Because the Radke Boys is what he does have now. That's his like not- It's like a not-for-profit or something like that?

Well, it's a it's It seems we've read his website. Remember when we were reading his website. Yeah a couple weeks ago It's something like he goes and gives Speeches or he gives like seminars on being sober or something like that. Mm-hmm Which is good. I mean doing something positive, you know with your sobriety I do I will say it's Probably not a great idea to bank everything and your entire personality and business on one thing about you like sobriety You know what I mean? He just like everything and he's doing something positive. I guess Yeah, I think he's just in that not period of his life where like that's like everything That's all it's like your single focus or whatever. I'm glad he got a picture of his white pants in there

I know that website So I don't know I think whatever the Radke boys is is it looks like it's some Wellness and advocacy is probably something he probably wants to like I'm assuming it's about as direct as you would think it would be It's like what is this? Yeah, it sounds like a copy a few weeks ago We have to imagine that when when he says this it's like, okay He's gonna like weave in this non-alch product with his Radkey boys Whatever like speech circuit he wants to be on etc. So Lynn Carl's like y'all sold be like $2,000 an appearance and Lindsay's like, okay

I'm like how many parents is is there like a cap and he goes on no cap, which I felt like was a lie I mean, I felt like he didn't know he goes, uh, no cap, which I felt like was a lie. Oddly, I felt like he didn't know what to say. It wasn't specified. He was just answering, like with, he's answering even though he doesn't know. He's just trying to get to the end of the conversation, interrogation. He's like, no cap, uh, commissions on sales. She goes, okay, so sorry. It's just like specific to, is this just specific to like the non-alcoholic product?

He's like, yeah, only non-alcoholic. Okay. She's like, she can tell he's totally lying now. He did not ask these questions and he always just like. Well, I think he did say non-alcoholic though. Kyle did say 10% of non-alcoholic. Oh, okay. So he's like, yeah, it's gonna be creating

underneath the Loverboy company a subsidiary and then that's a non-alcoholic problem. And she's like, okay. And he goes, and I'm gonna get equity. She goes, okay, and did you talk about how much equity? And he's like, no. She's like, okay, and he goes and I'm gonna get equity. She goes okay, and did you talk about how much equity? He's like no she's like So did you guys like negotiate in this conversation? He's like no we did not he was ensuring things that like it was in line with What I was thinking so like I'd like I've got nothing in writing so when he has something in writing that you can like

That's when I can think about it when I say I think about it I mean you sit there with a red pen and then write emails to go out what you want. And then I say, she's so mean to me, please give her what she wants. Now here's the thing. Carl has a very, there's something that Carl could say that's like very reasonable here, which is like, listen, this was just like a general meeting. This was a general getting just like he was like just gauging to see where we both are, not getting too much into specifics, just getting a sense of this is a path forward. We want to have follow up meetings, maybe ones that are off camera that don't have all the details. And then we're gonna get into nitty gritty. And then we'll, I need to know right away, how much equity, how much do I get? What are my hours? What does that? Which is fine. But like, he just is like, he just has to be like, Look, I know you want all these details. This was

just like a, you know, putting a finger in the water, putting a finger in the air in the water on the air, or whatever he's all good. Water than the air. And then you're like, Oh, my god, is the air colder? Or is it my finger? How does that work? So she's like, I just worry sometimes, like with you guys talking and putting your finger in the water in the air, like you guys just like both kind of like

beat around the bush and like every single time you talk and by you guys both beat around the bush, I mean basically like Kyle takes advantage of you because he knows again. And yeah, Carl's like, whoa, back to it. I mean, do you want to talk to him? Do you want to talk to him? Yeah, maybe she should at this point.

Cause she knew what you were gonna fucking do. And you did exactly what she thought. You walked in there, you acted like you were typing things. Your nose paper says, flirgitty, hurgitty, burgitty dog. It does. Which we know exactly what that means. Cause we just went to Sweden.

Yeah, we know what it means now. It means licorice all the way. Yeah. So now she's like, no, I't want to talk to him. So then She's like I'm just trying to understand how this conversation went and what happened in the conversation. He's like The only way I can do that is by asking questions Like I feel like I'm trying to describe it and sometimes like it feels like a interrogation shush on Well, everything I do comes across like I'm criticizing you so I feel at a loss and meanwhile

Lindsay's also like doing her hair and like her rage is coming through her hands because she's like pulling her hair back so tight like fucking night. Well I like I feel pretty excited about something and I understand where you're coming from but like I'm just hoping for a little more yeah that's awesome like I'm here to help you in any way I can like let's just have a good party move on Yeah, that's awesome. But like I'm here to help you any way I can and like yeah, let's just have a party and move on Yeah, she's so oh, yeah, she's saying just like that. Let's just have a party and move on. Oh, that was really genuine Oh, she goes listen if you haven't come to a decision and you're saying you still have a lot that you want to talk about

You know and he's like well I need to think about what we talked about Not that I can remember anything cuz all my notes are blurry blurry blurry. Oh My god, so she's like Which you know is annoying it's like it's annoying listen the same thing over and over but like it gets annoying him not doing anything This couple just needs to break up like yeah listen and lindsey lindsey is not like totally innocent here like her line of questioning is tinged with like a lot of judgment and that could be like very uncomfortable like if you're just like if you're like scared of if you're scared of someone you're and they come in like that's a like a lot you know but but yeah you're 40 curls 40 and you can't be like I'm so scared of everything

I still feel like Carl knows what he's doing and all he has to do is be direct and do what you said which is Babe, it was a first meeting. We'll figure out the rest later. It's a it's a party weekend. I'm not worried that worried I think that you actually like that. I think she would like that. Okay, but he's doing it He's answering in a way that's like some little bit of truth and like, it's like he's sort of demurring and like, it's like giving a little bit and then she's like, well, is this the full story? So I've got to ask another question to find out what he really means. And so just giving like a straightforward, like this is what it was. And when she says, remember in the car when you said, when you said you would

clarify that means I have the conversation where she's like, okay, you're going into this meeting. What are you going to do? You're going to ask how much equity you're going to get. You're going to ask exactly if there's a cap on this's like, okay, you're going into this meeting, what are you gonna do? You're gonna ask how much equity you're gonna get. You're gonna ask exactly if there's a cap on this thing. You're gonna ask this, you're gonna ask this. So now she's going over it with him and it sounds like she's ripping him apart, but she's going over all the questions they've already gone over in the car

and he didn't do any of them. You know, it's like, what the fuck, bro? So she's like, this is exhausting. And I think I heard America say, yes. Yes, it is. Wrap it up. So now the party is starting and people are arriving and it's like fun and lots of like silliness.

Sierra's manager, Derek, shows up. My friend reminded me that if Derek looks familiar, that's because he was on the A-list New York. So there's something for anyone who remembers that show. You remember that show? I remember it was on. Yeah it's bad. So people are coming a lot of less friends. The only one I remember is like Versace's boyfriend. Well there was oh yeah. Was it Versace's boyfriend? Was it Bruno? No Versace died a long time ago. Andrew Kanan was Andrew Kanan was on it. The serial killer. No, Riken was on it and then Riken had his boyfriend, who's like the Brazilian guy.

It was the designer's boyfriend member and he's like, he told me I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't do it in his home and he caught me doing it in his home and then he got rid of him. He was like the little hot one. Yeah. He was like the nightmare, he was throwing drinks on everybody and he was just a mess That show is a mess So everyone is like how it's just like party times everyone doing silly things little vignettes. So um West goes up to Sierra at one point and he's like introducing her to friends and everything and

he's basically like he tells us a whole spiel that like you know like Sierra and I do like each other but like we met in this house and like that's like we just only know is this house and like I feel like we have to like intertwine each art in each other's lives like see our friends get along and that like no if you'd like someone you'd like someone and like it's it's a nice bonus if they get along with your friends, but you can't use that. I just don't understand the whole jump to marriage. I don't understand why it seems like either we're fucking and not dating at all

or we're married. I don't understand. I just don't see how they're looking at it, you know? But I get what she's saying, like just kind of not going into hookup culture, which I'm totally down with. I think that that's great. It's like refreshing to hear that.

But I don't understand what the confusion is. If you're not into that, then just stop flirting with her and stop taking her on horse dates and saying you want her to meet your parents, you fucking weirdo. So yeah, I don't trust him and his baby voice. I say it every week.

Just had to say it this week because I know that I'm correct. So then we go to page girls are watching. Yes. And Gabby, I think calls it she's like, you know, their first fight is going to be because he's so fucking social. And that's true. Yeah. And Paige is like, Yeah, West is like, so social. Like, he's as social as Amanda is sad that was fun for me that joke wait let me try it again West is a social as Craig is just like stupid yeah I'm being social it's not a bad thing but yeah that's too much it's like everybody's your best friend except you he's your everyone's best friend except yours oh I'm alone with the most social man in the world okay so West is now introducing her to more

friends and all that stuff and then Danielle and Joe the balloon guy are flirting here Joe's like y'all your lips are so soft. And she goes, Yeah, well, the only thing I guess not hardened by the apocalypse. That's a reference to your dick. Yeah, it's pretty hard. You could twist this thing into the elephant man right now. Thanks for calling me toots. Then Wes touches pages boobs. And then Lindsay's inside, she starts pouring herself some booze in a like of sitcom way where she pours a lot and gives a face like, I'm gonna need this. And Sierra's like, are you okay?

She's like, it's just the same fucking thing. I mean, it's just like simple communication, like simple conversations that seem to be so hard for Carl. And it's like, I can't even ask you the questions about this, like the next step in their career like what can I ask you questions about? SDR is just giving that look like I came to the kitchen because I hate my life not to also hate your life. Can I just hate one life at a time please? She's like do you feel like Carl is ready to get married and this is my way of saying you guys aren't gonna get married right? She goes yeah and Lindsey's like I think he's ready to get married and this is my way of saying you guys aren't gonna get married, right?

She goes yeah, and Lindsey's like, um, I think he's ready to get married I just don't think he's ready to be an adult. So then are you ready to get married? He's ready to get married and be a stay at home dad and have you do the rest of the stuff and by stay at home Dad, I mean he's gonna stay at home and also expects you to pay for a nanny because he ain't doing that shit all day No, this is where I'm a critical of Lindsay where it's like Lindsay You are now acknowledging that Carl is not ready to be an adult. So why are you going down this path? I know that's that's the thing that's so frustrating. She's just settling. She knows that she's settling I know she's like basically coming over on the Mayflower. She's like I'm settling I'm gonna make the best of it

I've got some poison blankets in my bag and we're just gonna make this happen could this go wrong perhaps could we all get sick Yes, could some of us wind up being accused of witchery. I don't know I guess perhaps but like I'm 40 Settling I need to be in Massachusetts right now put some put some turkey feathers on this baby head. Okay, we're having it I don't care what happened, But yeah, she's full on settling and it's just not gonna work. Yeah. So, Lindsay's like, yeah, I mean, do you want me in the role where I'm not an advice giver

because I don't give my opinion and I don't ask questions because to me, that's like a step-away and you better make a fucking lot of money to support this ass if you want me to be mute in this relationship. That shit is not me. And Sierra's like, okay, let's go to the party. This has been fun.

She's like, maybe I should go talk to Carl and be like, dude, I'm gonna try to have yet another conversation. Please don't. We don't know what needs you to have another conversation with Carl right now. Please just stop. Your conversation right now needs to be,

you didn't take my suitcase home, you've never respected me. You never will I'm leaving you you fucking man child. Good luck ever getting those white pants cleaned again Have fun living with your mother for the rest of your life. Tell Sharon. Hi So Lindsay walked up to Carl outside. Oh, hey, can I introduce you to some people? This is Claire and this is Fiona. We call her five So I guess it's almost like I've got Claire and five Claire and Fi. I guess I kind of did it already, huh? Lindsay?

Um, was it Claire? Why are you asking him so many questions? I told you. I'm pretty sure it's Claire. Like I could clarify it with her if you want. Yeah, I like it. My name's Stephanie. Carl! Hey, Equity, could you come here? Look, I just asked for Equity, so. Lindsay, I just want your support. I feel like that's exciting. You made friends.

I know this is hard for you. You don't even know their names, but I could find out their names. Did you find out their names? Yeah, I did. Carl, would you like a drink? Does it have a cap on it? Look, Lindsay. I did it.

So, Carl's talking to Amanda Amanda and Paige and he's like, I talked to Carl about what I presented a very flexible arrangement where he gets multiple rev shares and like, oh my God, Amanda's kissing me. I got a boner. I got a boner. Yeah, boy. Yeah, yeah. I just feel like it's his way a boner. Jam boy. Jam boy. I just feel like it's his way to get him back involved and give him something that he's like excited to pursue. And I just feel like Lindsay just like trying to literally shoot everything down. I'm like, see, this is what you guys do. This

is what you guys fucking do. You tag team them. You tag team these girls. Lindsay is literally not shooting anything down. What she's shooting down is the idea that Carl may be going into an arrangement with not all the information and not with the not with like the best um parody not parody but like he's not going in he's just sort of running into it without doing his research making sure he's in his best possible position and that's frustrating to her and especially if he's going back to a company where he had a lot of trouble so it's not that Lindsay's just shooting down ideas because she has a vision for

Carl. Like I want you to take this job. It's because Carl is coming to her with like half answers and unclear ideas of what it's going to be. And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? Like you couldn't don't rush into this. Like put some thought into it. So Paige is like, yeah, we've all been supportive of both sides. And I think that they're going to get married, but I don't think they should. It's like Old Navy. It's there. But why?

Hold on. I'm getting a voice memo from Ariana. This is weird. Hey, oh, let's listen. You in danger, girl. You in danger, girl. Wow, that was so nice of Ariana to quote um ghosts like that. So Lindy's it's curled down again and is like um Carl I don't want to do what we normally do which is fine but I just want to say like I'm just asking you to clarify things because you don't clarify things and why don't you clarify things and I'm just like trying to ask questions and I'm like and then you're mad at me because I'm interrogating you and I'm like what but that was even a question

Which one? You ended it in an interrogating question. You said what it's no no no no it's like I feel I feel Like in that moment It's like the question after question to me when I'm just like trying to share with you and I just it felt like a little Interrogative and like a big thing is on word interrogative. All right, like it like a little interrogative. And like a big thing, so I'm- Is that the word interrogative? All right, like it's a lot of questions, Ronnie. So like a big thing- That's interrogative.

That's like a lot. So it's like, if you're gonna ask that, like I just need more softness. Like a big thing that I'm hoping for and needing in this relationship is like sometimes for you to be less inquisitive and questioning, but more like softness and like tenderness.

That's what I want, yeah. You know what? Basically, I'm looking for you and I'm looking for from a chicken nugget. Softness and tenderness and a little bit of honey mustard. It's like that's all. But like why do I need to be soft and tender? It's like because like it's like something I'm asking in this particular thing like which is like a career choice. I'm like figuring out like if this is the right thing and like I'm asking for like some sensitivity given what has happened with my history of Kyle and his business. Can you understand that? which is like a career choice, and figuring out if this is the right thing, and I'm asking for some sensitivity given what has happened with my history with Kyle and his business.

Can you understand that? Yeah, but that's why she's asking questions, given the sensitivity of the past, what's happened between you and Kyle and the business. So I'm glad you acknowledged that, because that clusterfuck is why she's asking you questions. And she's like, yeah, that's why I'm asking you questions. Y'all, but okay, but you know I ran my own PR firm.

So like, you do know that, right? He's like, oh, yeah, trust me. You tell me all the time, you know. Yeah, it's called PR. She's reminding you all the time. So he's like, but Linty, Linty, Linty, I don't need you to tell me about yourself when I'm asking you about me.

But again, you're an offensive, defensive She's like Carl like you offend me continuously Maybe like 50 times over the last week and say that I need to be softer. I need to be softer That is offensive. Well, I'm sorry that you find the words That's okay The Lindsey is now like That's abuse She's like that's bullying you want me to be you're saying I need to be abuse. She's like, that's bullying. You want me to be, you're saying I need to be softer?

That's bullying, how dare you. Because I think she's taking it like you're being a bitch. And she's probably like. That's what he's saying. And she's like, that's so fucking offensive. And like, you know that I'm not like that. It's just funny to hear it come out that way. Like, and I need to be soft, that is offensive.

And he's like, well, I just think that you said like a lot of offensive things to me too. But I'm not gonna soft that it's offensive So and he's like well I just think that you said like a lot of offensive things to me, too But I'm not gonna hold that against you like you literally held everything That's literally what you're doing right now, sir She's like I'm not gonna go tip for that Carl you by the way you literally went to your mom and stepdad to complain about The things that Lindsey said about you and now you're just say I don't hold it against you Yeah, but Sharon does and so does my stepdad. They're the bad guys, not me. Yeah.

So she's like, my intention wasn't to fight with you again. He's like, oh, this isn't fighting. This is a conversation. She's like, well, it is fighting. And he's like, oh, you're making it a fight because you just can't understand that I have feelings in this relationship too and I have needs too and it's not all about you.

Sof, no, I'm tired of this. There are no feelings in regards to this. He said, oh, so you can just, can you just put your sword down for a second? Can you put your sword down? I know that word, just put it down. Put your sword down. Stop offending me, Carl.

Stop offending me. I'm not. I'm not fighting you. This is not a fight, even though I'm just repeating what you said and turning it against you in return. I'm not fighting. You just cannot get a job. This whole thing is turning into everything else other than getting a job.

It's like you hurt my feelings, but my feelings are hurt, but I just need someone who's soft, but I just need someone who's tender. Get out of your bed and get a fucking job, okay? But I'm just asking questions to help you think deeper about what your next steps are in your career, which is like what a fucking partner does. He's like, and I appreciate that. And and by appreciate that I mean I don't appreciate that whatsoever and yeah a fucking partner also gives hugs and says hey babe I know there's a lot for you great. What is a lot what is what is the lot for? Is the

asking basic questions about what your job is going to entail like this is like a lot for me right now so I just like give me like a moment. You made an agreement at the beginning of the summer that You would take the summer and by the end of this summer you would have a business plan That was your agreement you said it yourself on the show. It is now the end of the summer girl it's literally the apocalypse party and now you're Avoiding that by telling someone they're mean to you and they don't give you enough love All because you've not come up with one fucking plan and the only thing you have is what Kyle

just handed you on a silver platter and you didn't even take the fucking time to memorize that you fucking loser. What he's really mad about is not that she's not being quote unquote soft and tender. He's mad that she sees through his pantomime of a job search right now. That's what he's really, because he doesn't want to do it. He's going to go to the motions to make it seem like he's doing something, but he's not actually doing anything. It's like when people on below deck pretend like they're working and they like move really quickly. We all know that person. Yeah. Like when you wait tables, there's always the person who gets the job

and they just walk circles around the restaurant. They never do anything. They might even hold a pitcher, but they never fill in their glasses. They never actually do anything. Yeah. They just walk back and forth. So he says, yeah, he basically is like, you know, I just like, you know, I want like something like this is really hard and everything. And she's basically like, why do I have to give? Why do I have to hug you for having a conversation? And also, this is business you're talking about. It's not your fucking feelings, you know, and it's gonna get a lot harder

once you actually start your job, which is what we said last week, which is like, if you think this is hard, if you think this is, you think this is tough, if you think Lindsey's lack of support is tough, you know. And it's gonna get a lot harder once you actually start your job. Which is what we said last week, which is like, if you think this is hard, if you think this is tough, if you think Lindsay's lack of support is tough, you think that these negotiations over your salary is tough, wait until you actually start a job and then you'll see what tough interactions are. So then Carl, then of course Kyle,

who's down doing the whole, oh my God, the woman is a terrorist, is growling everybody else up, being like, do I need to break this up. What's going on over there? Yes, it's fucking non-alchol abuse, okay, it's not an elk Seltzer yeah, buble. It's buble beatings Lindsay's like do you not understand that like what you do and like the path that you choose like not only affects me But it affects our life at home. Do you not understand this? He's like no, that you choose not only affects me, but it affects our life at home?

Do you not understand this?" He's like, no, I know. And it affects our relationship and it affects whatever. So he finally gets pissed off and he's like, this is a lot, okay? And she's like, it is a lot. He goes, it's a fucking lot. What is a lot? It's easy to say this is a lot, but what is a lot? That her asking, why don't you have details on this Carl? We've been waiting all summer long, but you just can't do it when Carl gets mad. I mean when that mask slips It's like I love when a mask slips on these show really does Like glazed in red. He just looks evil every time. That's why I will never buy the Carl 5.0

So what are we on now Carl is season 14? So this has got to be Carl 13.0. No, this is a 14 My god speaking of crutches get me one immediately there's been 14 seasons of sun damage, but it's actually only eight seasons of show It's 40 years of age, of aging on the face. Everybody, thank you. That was a rude way to end it, sorry. Everybody, thank you so much for being here.

London, we'll see you tonight. Dublin, we'll see you tomorrow. And Birmingham, we'll see you on Wednesday. The rest of you, we'll just see you every other damn day. Yeah. We sure love you guys. Go get our bonus episode. It is an airport snaps from the airport in Stockholm.

It's super fun, and we'll try and do another one of those this weekend while we travel. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye! Hey! Hey! Watch what Crap-Ins would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice in King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All the time. Yeah.

So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions. If you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wanderys newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mass, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise.

Mother. A mother to many. Follow Lemme Say This on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd, or you can listen ad free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcasts.