Watch What Crappens - #2439 Below Deck S11E17: Barbie Melts

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

*There’s no video for this recap! Video will return for next episode* Below Deck (S11E17) ends its season with snickers and shrugs from Ben, mayonnaise guzzling by Paris, and an epic meltdown from Barbie. Will daddy ever forgive her? Get our videos and our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip-hop and fables meet. Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad-free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a beat. What's What Crap happens? Watch What Crap happens? Watch What Crap happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch What Crap happens?

Watch What Crap happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello there and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast at the end of the rainbow. Feltcha. Feltcha. I'm Roddy. That's Ben next to me. We are still in our hotel room in Dublin recording this episode. We're very excited to be here, guys.

We are hashtag blessed. We are really excited to be here. It is now the morning. In case you couldn't tell, we've woken up. We've had our brekkie, our Irish breakfast. Yeah. And now we're here to talk some below deck. The season final.

Season final. You guys, I just went to get shaved because I blew up my razor in, because I didn't have the right converter. I know everyone's shocked. I'll just hold it for everybody to be completely shocked that I blew up the hotel electricity. Okay, hold on. And your shock is over now. So I had to go to a barber and I got a whole earful of old toothless Irish barber

gay rage, which is super special. Yeah. He was like, you know, that Trump's going to come in and he's not going to help out the Ukraine at all. We all know that Trump's gonna come in and he's not gonna help out the Ukraine at all. We all know that. Then he's gonna get Crimea. Oh, geez. And then he started going, which, you know, no disagreement there. And then he starts going off, wow, this guy, whoever we've got is dragging us into the

21st century, letting the gays get married. Now the gay adoption, I was against that. I said, why would you be against that? Oh, these gays, you see a couple guys holding hands down the road and then these kids start getting horny and older and they're ugly and they can't get me, so I thought, try a guy. I was like, what? Pete Slauson Try a guy. Peteus Yeah. And in my head, I'm like, have you ever tried being ugly and gay? That's,

I think that's harder than being straight and ugly. Pete Slauson Maybe he should try a guy. Maybe he should try a guy and then he might have a different perspective. Peteus I know the way and then he might have a different perspective. I know the way he made it sound, we were downright charitable. I'm like, you make us sound like an ugly truck. We're here to help the ugly. I was like, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said about us. It's not really the truth.

But I just sat there and kind of listened to him and I was like, well, so you think being gay is kind of normal? I know it's disgusting. I was like, oh, girl. Do you know know, being gay is kind of normal. I know it's disgusting. It's like, oh girl, do you know how behind grooming gay people are? We love grooming. Why can't we just all get along?

We're very pro the grooming industry. Yeah, we keep you in business. Look here I am at the groomers and you're a barber. I mean, even the logo of your thing is a penis. It's a phallic symbol hanging out there, sir. It's got stripes on it going around and around. It doesn't get gayer than that. Like a stripey thing swirling around.

I mean, it's basically like the drag queen of signs. And you're gums. You're all gums because your teeth are missing. You're basically a gay person already. You're a gay person's dream, okay? That's why he has so much anger. But I will say though, Dublin has been wonderful in terms of gayness.

And like there's- Yeah, we're everywhere. Flags everywhere, gay people everywhere. It's really been very, I feel very welcome as a gay person here. I'm sorry that you had a homophobic experience at the barbershop. It was lovely. But also like a lot of barbershops, that is what happens. I've had my fair share of that just in Los Angeles.

So bizarre. I mean, it was, it was lovely. And then I've had my fair share of that just in Los Angeles. So bizarre. I mean, it was lovely. And then I tipped him to just to prove I was about it. Well, actually they only accepted cash, which sucked. So then I went to the ATM and couldn't get the cash because of course I didn't bring my bank card because why would I bring my bank card to a different country?

The ATM was like, no voucher. Yeah, I was like, no voucher. I was like, no voucher. So I ended up standing there trying every Amex card. You really didn't bring an ATM card to? I didn't do it on purpose, but I don't carry it around because like, when do I use an ATM? I never use an ATM. I haven't had cash in ages.

So I just never thought about it. And I haven't needed it this whole trip, but I didn't bring it. And so then I turned around and I was like, should I run? Because I was down the road. He's like, go to that time down there. And so I came down and I was like,

I should run that homophobic asshole. But then I ran into my shady angel over here. Well, you and Dom and then Dom and Ben were standing across the street and Dom was standing like this. Dom had his arms crossed and Dom's like, there's Ronnie. Ronnie is standing there on the corner. Like he is like a kid who lost his mom holding a balloon

at the carnival and he's like, ha. I was literally thinking, I was looking at the barber shop and then I was looking at the other way thinking, I could run, like what's he gonna chase me? Toothless old fucker, I could beat him what's he gonna chase me the toothless old fucker I could beat him. I'm not messing with like with the old Irish barber I he's gonna be he will find you and he will beat you up Good luck with that. All right. Good luck

Bitch because I gave Ronnie my euros and now he is safe and sound I am like I'm gonna have to figure out cash for The next country. Okay. Good. Yeah,'s a good, you'll have to figure that out. Well that's today's that's today's update on our European vacation. Because I feel like in the next 10 days you might need cash at some point. Well I think I can go to the airport and you can get it with credit cards. Can you? Yeah at the airport you can be like here's my, but here you know here they don't like AmEx and they don't like certain things. You might want to ask the front desk. Worst comes to worst, I'll give you some cash. Oh no, I couldn't do it. That's what I would do. Listen, Mila Falca. Mila Falca. There's another word that begins with a K, Mila Falca. 100 million welcomes. My favorite

saying here was in English and that's why we drink, because our tour guide yesterday everything was, I think I said this already, so sorry if you've already heard this, but he was relating everything to misery, like the misery that you feel as an Irish person. He'd be like, and this mountain, isn't it gorgeous? Let's take a picture of me in front of the mountain. This mountain was here before the English took it from us, before they took our language, before they took our pride, before they took our pants. Like, he's got a point. Like I looked up on Wikipedia what happened.

So it's not that he doesn't. I'm not making fun of the history, okay? It's just that everywhere we stopped, he was like, and this McDonald's, isn't it lovely? Take a picture in front of me. This McDonald's we had until the British stole our language and our Big Mac and our socks. We did hear about the history of the first McDonald's

in Dublin. He had a lot of recent history in his tour. It was a lot. There's a lot about Bono. Like you don't even know how much Bono could be on a tour until you've gone on this tour. They don't even call it the Big Mac. They call it the Big Bono. The Big Bono. how much Bono could be on a tour until you've gone on this tour. They don't even call it the Big Mac, they call it the Big Bono.

The Big Bono. The Big Bono. But yeah, so that's my favorite thing, because he would go, before they start everything, he'd start beating on the steering wheel, and then he'd go, and that's why we drink. And so we've been saying that,

we've been saying that ever since me and Ben's friend, Ben and I and it's friends, and that's why we drink. Yeah, we had a lot of there's some interesting information there's we went through a town called Hollywood. And he's like, welcome to Hollywood. And we're like, oh, funny. And he's like, and he said, you know, the reason why Hollywood, California exists, is because the person who can't the person who built Hollywood, California came from Hollywood, Ireland. And they're in fact, there used to be a racetrack that was exactly where Hollywood is right now. And that was the basis of Hollywood, California.

And then Dom and I and our friend Daria, Daria who literally lives in Hollywood, all with each other, there's no racetrack in Hollywood. We were Googling a lot while he talked, for sure. I was in the- It was the Hollywood Park racetrack down by LAX. I was in the Wikipedia quite a bit. It was kind of fun.

And that's why we drink. And that's why we drink. Which is nice, because in my house, it's me. My mom says that, you know, but it's usually me and you're why I drink, you know? So it was nice to have another government to blame for once. It felt like a hug. It was so fun.

Okay, so now is the season finale of Below Deck Season 11, Episode 17. Remember just three months ago when there was an ad that said only nine episodes left? I know. It was like after the second episode, only 12 episodes left of this adventure. But we made it. It's been on over four months. Yeah, and we are pivoting right back into Below Deck Med next week, right?

Is it next week? Which is great, yeah, we've got a two hour premiere coming. The premiere is a clusterfuck. Will you guys just wait for this premiere? It is a, oh, is it next week or is it the week after? Is it the week after? No, it's next week. It's next week.

It comes out, I believe, June 2nd, same as Dubai. So we've already done those recaps for Dubai and for Bula Dek Med, and they're epic. They're both epic. They're very long. They're very fun. Join us. Just stay here, guys. So, second day of charter.

It's the last day of charter, and the sun is going down at 6 45 PM, Ted's music is playing. And Captain Carey is really pissed off that Ben and Kyle have not done their cabins for cabin check. And he's like, it's fucking blatant disrespect. All have gone out of my way to help you do in this journey. Who else is gonna give Ben a chance? Nobody, stupid Ben. You should have been thankful. You're already not thankful.

You're like a season five housewife. You forgot where you came from, Ben. Or as I like to say, Sezon daki eb hanimibisin five. You're like a season five ass wife. Yeah, Ben can really go fuck off at this point. So all they had to do was put stuff in the closet and make their beds.

And then they acted like they had no time for it whatsoever. So Captain Care is like, this is total disrespect. And it's not just a following the chain of command. I've given Bean the opportunity to be a leader and he's failing. And then Ben's just sitting there like kind of flicking his hair, like doing like a horse,

like flicking his hair and just going like, like trying not to roll his eyes. His eyes are glazed over like he's gonna cry and like pout. What a little wuss, I hate this fucking guy. And also with the long hair, can we just stop fucking people with long hair? Because I think long hair is empowering like men who shouldn't be getting laid to get laid. Because I think people just look at it and they're like,

long hair is so sexy. Guys, let's look beyond the hair, because Ben's gross. And I feel like the only reason he ever gets any is, well, there's two reasons. He's on TV and also he has long hair. I think that long hair can be sexy, but Ben's version of long hair is just not sexy. He literally, his long hair looks like Julia Roberts

in like Notting Hill or something like that. It's just not like what I wanna see. Why are you coming for Julia Roberts in Notting Hill? Fine, Julia Roberts in that, what was that movie, Duplicity? Don't come for Julia Roberts in anything. I love Julia Roberts. But what I'm saying is that he, yes, we love Julia Roberts and he has no right to be taking her hair.

Okay, yeah, lay off Julia Roberts' hair. That's her hair. Was it Duplicity? Julia Roberts? Duplicity? I don't know what that is. What's Duplicity? Is it where they make like a hundred Julia Roberts? They keep cloning Julia Roberts? No, it's like she and Clyde Owen, I think are like... Each has a horseier laugh than the one before it. It's like Julia Roberts' laugh is getting out of control. There's too many copies.

The point is this, he has Julia Roberts. The 100th Julia Roberts is like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, Yeah. It doesn't matter how many have to clone them. You made a big mistake. Huge. They're like, we can get some range out of her. Just multiply her until she's so deviated from her original version that she's forced to act in a different way. All right, guys, let's picture this. It's Aaron Brockovich, but with a jaw that opens and swallows the entire town.

So like, let's do it. Remake. Okay. So he's pissed and Ben's just giving a shitty look. And Kyle's like, well, we just didn't get around to it, did we? That's what I think. We just didn't get around to it. We were working. And he's like, I saw you up there talking to Bobby, mate. And he's like, oh, yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. He really does get like a dog, like a dog in trouble. Oh, fair enough. Cause he's in trouble all the time. All right, listen, go down, get your rim sorted out.

And if you don't, there's gonna be consequences in the next 24 hours before you leave the boat in the next 24 hours. Yeah, the funny thing to me is Ben's, you know, post show Instagrams rebelling against Captain Carrie like a little baby he is, you know, like this guy like trying to make me look bad. This is my industry.

This is my profession. Not only were you fucking in Underling, then you promoted the person that you were fucking. Now, this is all on national TV. Now you're blatantly disrespecting the captain. How is this anyone else's fault? If you ever get hired again, that captain's an idiot and this is all your own fault, stupid.

And this is the captain's industry too. So he's not supposed to just, he's not gonna sit there and be like, oh, well, it's one day left. He's gotta lay down the law and he's doing it on TV. He has a reputation to protect too. And his reputation is a whole lot longer and better than yours, Ben. Yeah, stupid.

So then, meanwhile, Sunny and Dylan are looking at the sunset and she's like, you know when the sun sets sometimes, how there's a green flash? And he's like, really? When, after it happens, do you ever pinch and see if you've got love handles? Does it change the way you look?

Does it make you thinner? She's like, no, I don't care. Can we lick the calories off of the green lights? I mean, wash them off. Got love handles? Does it change the way you look? Does it make you thinner? She's like, no, I don't care. Can we lick the calories off of the green lights? I mean, wash them off. How could I even lick them? That's terrible. I've got to knock my routine.

Okay, so now Carl and Ben are laughing with each other. Like little kids are like, ha ha ha, we just got away with not cleaning our cabin. Yeah. I don't like how this show makes me realize what an adult I am or like how old, I guess how old I am, because I'm not very adult like.

We all heard about me not bringing a bank card to Europe, right? So it's not like I'm so adulty, but it makes me just feel so old when I see these people running through the halls giggling because they didn't clean their rooms. And I'm like, these little fuckers don't clean their rooms. I don't approve of people who don't clean their rooms

being able to marry. I'm like, when did I become this guy? No? Well, that's actually probably a good stance to take. Like you could have one person doesn't clean their room, but if two people don't clean their room and they get married, that could be a problem. One, see it catches fire.

Looks like Fraser when he's like, go tell the chef he's an idiot. And then you've got the whole staff like, you suck. Maybe you should garnish something. Stupid motherfucker. Yeah, that's why toxicity is toxicity because it leeches through. So they go back to their room. It's like a famine on a potato. It just spreads everywhere the negativity. We've learned a lot while we're here. And that's why we drink. Yeah. So they go back to their room. And then ultimately what they wind up doing is they take all

the junk and all the bullshit that's on their beds, and they just throw it in the closet, and they make their beds. It takes what looks to be all of five minutes, which is five minutes they could have done anyway, and they could have saved themselves a lot of grief. Yeah. And so now we're just seeing things happen on the boat. OK, so Fraser is in the crew area with Andy and he's like, so listen, for this Beyonce themed evening, I want the whole crew to just do a single ladies dance. Everyone twerk. Let me show you the twerk. Was

to enjoy. I love Beyonce. Beyonce is life, which is why I know her twerk. Was there twerking in the single ladies dance, by the way? No. No. No, it was Fraser. Fraser trying to convince everybody he's a Beyonce fan and the gay that twerks is hilarious because he's none of those things. It's like when he tries to convince us

he's like super sexual romantic. When he's like, I cannot wait to get my penis touching that other boy's penis. It is going to be absolutely sexual and fantastic. How romantic. It's coursing through my veins. Now let us twerk again. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da That's, which I think I actually just did wrong on the video. No, I think you did. I haven't done it in so long. It's like, bye, I do.

Quare, present, Korea, margarina. Bye. Hey, margarina. You know what? We are so blessed that we lived through the macarena when it was like, not a joke. Oh my God. I lived through the macarena. It's your thing to do.

I deserve a medal because I lived through the Macarena. That would have been like a sincere thing to do. I deserve a medal, because I lived through the Macarena when I worked on a dinner cruise that went around Manhattan. And the dinner cruise was mostly office parties with people. And it was like nonstop Macarena. It was like drunk secretaries getting shitty and like Macarena up against each other.

We have never had a dance like that since then. There have been dances, there are things that have come around. There was that thing with Drake, like you used to call it, no, not that was, what was the one with the Drake, it was like, he had one and then there was like, there've been a few that have come through, but nothing, nothing like the Macarena. I feel like when was the last time we had a big race? We should make one.

Yeah. To the D'Agostino. Yeah. I'm sorry. No it wasn't your vape. Is that bothering you? No no, I literally got something caught in my throat at the exact moment that you vaped

and that's why I got silent, because I was like. I'm European, so I'm vaping today. Okay, I don't even know why. I forget which one was mine. The one that has water still in it is yours. Okay, thanks. Because you had it separate from mine,

so I left it over there with water. I was like, don't drink Ben's, you never know where Ben's been. There have been times I haven't seen Ben, who knows, he's out there swinging. Going wild on those Dublin sex junk dungeons. There probably are, there's gay flags everywhere here, and there's really cute gays with face tattoos.

I'm into it. I love it here, by the way. Love you Dublin, love you dubs. Okay, so then they're talking about Beyonce, yeah. And Zandy's like, look at your tiny little nipples dancing. He's like, they're so excited for Beyonce. I just about Beyonce. Yeah, and then he's like look at your tiny little nipples dancing. He's like they're so excited for Beyonce I just love Beyonce that song I believe the children in the future asked I

Believe the children are our past. No forget them. Well and let ourselves lead the way He's like well, it's Michelle's primary, the primary's 50th birthday, so I'm going to make darn sure that she has the best birthday ever. I actually cannot wait to do this. It's going to be amazing. This is my time to shine.

Mummy knows how to do her shit and do it well. All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, wait for it, are our future. KUMAI LAUGHS To the left, to the left, all your garnishes on the plate to the left. KUMAI LAUGHS Speaking of, Chef Mick is in the kitchen,

tasting his own food. He's like, zero flavor, fucking tiring already. Come on, mate. Don't be shit. Don't be shit, Fred. Yeah, because Michelle last week, her big thing is that she doesn't cook with salt. So she finds like a single grain of salt to be too salty. So there was a lot of miscommunication last week,

which I guess is all sorted out now because we don't come back to it. But he basically has to cook everything with no seasoning. Yeah. It should be pretty simple for him, considering that he is British. Oh. Snap.

You're just throwing down, Ben just threw down the gauntlet. Jeez, did he hear that? We had a lot of under-seasoned meals in London. I'm not gonna lie, a lot of under-seasoned meals. I was fine with London food. Yeah. Listen, I just had to say it. I had to say it. I was holding it in all this time.

Not a lot of seasoning. But luckily... We ended a lot of different places, though. I mean, the tea place, I didn't expect seasoning, right? No, I didn't expect... I was actually fine with the seasoning there. I'm more ordering breads. All right, I went to... Because I'm on vacation, so I'm like,

oh, I can have a croissant now. So I'm ordering that. So all that stuff has been delicious and sweets. Let me tell you something. I went to a restaurant in London that was the worst restaurant I've been to all year. It was called Ave Mario. Do not go there.

If you're going to visit London, if you live in London, if you have ever heard of this restaurant, want to go to it, do not go. Absolutely do not go. Not a lick of seasoning or flavor in any dish there. It is a travesty to food. Dave Korsunsky To food. Yeah, while they were there, I was eating Lebanese Palestinian food.

So mine was very seasoned. Jared Seif Yeah, see, it really, I think Ave Mario just really cast a pall on all the culinary experiences. Dave Korsunsky Yeah, I had a different one that night. I was at a Lebanese Palestinian place and there were two guys at different tables, two single guys, and they were talking about Allah. And one of the guys was saying that Allah changed his life and the other one's like, I don't really believe in Allah, but I don't believe you're wrong, mate. Isn't it all love? It was like two drunk straight guys talking religion. So, it was good. It

was a good TV show for me to watch. I didn't believe in Allah or Jesus, but I did believe in grape leaves because really, grape leaves are everlasting. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. I'm Shimon Leaie and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive.

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Follow, let me say this on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple podcast. Well, now that everyone in London hates me, let's move on. So, they probably agree. I believe someone from London,

when you say our food doesn't have seasoning, I think some chef there just said, that's the point, mate. But there were salt shakers on every single table. So as we call them in Texas, rock shakers of salt. Oh, rock shakers of salt. From the song. Rock shakers of salt.

Is that Margaritaville? What is that? Oh yeah. Shakers. Is that Margaritaville? What is that? Oh, yeah. Shakers of salt. Margaritaville. Some people say that they like salt on their food. But I know, do, do, do, do, do. I'm in old London town.

Do, do, do, do, do. OK, so. But I loved London. Don't get me wrong. And I loved all the people there. I just felt like there was not a lot of salt where it needed to be. So I didn't understand this part. Nick's like, well, this is rough. But once I worked on a sailboat and actually had to bounce the dessert plates like this, and he was holding one up and one down, I didn't understand what that meant. I don't understand what that meant in terms of like,

cooking. Like he meant that like the sailboat was going left and right, you know, so it was holding the plates that way they would be balanced. I was like, yeah, but that does not explain how like, you know, he's like, don't worry, it's not hard for me to cook without salt because one time I had to cook while I was balancing. Once I had to balance things.

Okay, yeah, I guess, hello, have I already forgotten about below deck sailing? Seriously. So then Captain Kerry is like, Ben, Kyle, make sure you're not betraying Daddy. Those cabins better be cleaned. I'm on my way down there now. Dun dun dun dun dun. On my own music for this one, because it's dramatic. Here's dun dun dun in German. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Not German, Turkish. Should I say German? What German fuck is wrong with me.

Blends by having such a hard time learning the language. So he's like, all right, so how long this take? Ben's like, I don't know probably 10 minutes because so you did it in like 10 minutes of your day 10 minutes of your days or took and so like Ben's like, oh, apologies captain. So now Ben's complaining. He's like, I've just never been in hot water or this amount of trouble in yachting before.

And I think, you know, he's taking it kind of like a fuck you, but it's just the fact that we've been so busy, you know, rubbing Sonny's neck and flirting with Barbie. So, you know, how can we expect her to have done it any time earlier? Yeah, so then Paris and Sandy are talking, and Paris, they're talking about working. And Sandy is going to take nine days off.

But Paris is like, I'm just going straight back to work. I just emailed my boss and then, you know, I can go the next day back because I really didn't even leave. Did I mean, I didn't really even tell him I was leaving. I just kind of took the job immediately and showed up. I really had to make my mayonnaise mark on the world. I had a chance to be on the telly and really talk about mayonnaise and my love for it. So I was out of there.

When the world needs a new gay icon, I have to step up. So here I am. Yeah. I looked up into the sky and there was a jar of mayonnaise with a wig on it, big drag queen wig And I said I'm being called by the gays. Yeah, and somewhere in Ireland I could hear a father saying god damn it another gay icon. Don't they have enough already? Before you know it she's gonna make godling mayonnaise normal for kids So meanwhile, Barbie, she is now talking to her, her dad, her mom and dad, hi mom, hi dad. So I'm coming back in like three days and like, I made it somehow. I'm going to

spend a month just hanging out with you guys doing nothing and just like cowering from dad and his relentless judgment. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I, it's not like I'm gonna go to my dad because he's like not affectionate. So I was like, I'm not gonna go home to my dad. He's not gonna be cuddling me. Guess what? None of us go to our dads and they cuddle us. Okay.

I hope. Yeah, I have bad news for you, man. My dad's plenty affectionate. He's not cuddling me at home. Okay. So let's drop that dream, please. So it's like, yeah, he's not gonna cuddle me, but. Okay? So let's drop that dream, please. So it's like, you know, he's not gonna cuddle me, but he is gonna tell me a bunch of positive things.

He's gonna remind me of like how much like I'm a good person and how much I'm appreciated by my friends and like how Pepsi is just a ripoff and they shouldn't be serving in regular restaurants. And if they do, I certainly shouldn't be eating there, which I totally agree with. I just like really hope you'll love me anyway." And the dad's like,

well, I would have had to have loved you in the first place for that to be. Oh, dad. How much could I possibly love you when I've just sent you out into the world to be a maid? I'm going to tell my dad about Kyle later, because before coming here, I would never have even imagined like a view of someone who I didn't like, you know, who I didn't see like me continuing about my sort of lifestyle with and like I was like raised with like a certain lifestyle, like rich and Coca Cola and not like Scottish and old man facey.

I mean, I'm just never I know it's 17 episodes in but I'm never gonna get over someone sitting there like, you know, it's like really weird like dating underneath my zone. Like it's so hard dating someone who's like not living the same lifestyle. You're a maid. You're literally cleaning a toilet during this like, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being a maid. Obviously I'm a service person, but girl, like it's not. It's like wearing a fur coat to Mel's diner, you know? To take your pie orders. Girl, get off your box. So, Chef Nick and Paris are doing some stuff in the kitchen,

just like a little ginger, like arranging some ginger, whatever, for plates, nothing too important. The primary and some of the guests are getting ready for dinner tonight. And then up on the bridge deck with Ben. But look at this. This was a big scene because he's like, do you have that ginger? She goes, you want ginger? He goes, yeah, I'll get a little knob cut it up a bit, garnish. She's like, oh, well, I can cut some up. He's like, lovely. I just need a couple of pieces for garnish. She's like, what are you being so rude for?

He just garnished a plate to show you some love at the very end. I mean, I think that's a full arc for Chef Nick. And for Paris, I would think, but I guess not. Paris didn't appreciate it. So now Fraser calls everyone up and he's like, okay, if you're here, you can be part of the dance. Now it is time to dance like Beyonce.

So everyone gather together and we're going to do right leg up, now left leg up, now right leg up, now left leg. It's like, Fraser, are you just doing the can-can? It's not a single ladies dance. SHUFFLEBALL CHANGE, SHUFFLEBALL CHANGE. So now they do, he's showing them how to walk like Beyonce. I'm not really sure what's happening. I am sure of this, this queen knows nothing about Beyonce. He's like, let's Beyonce dance. Everybody walk in a circle.

I know. Well, there is sort of like a walking moment in the single ladies video. You know, if they sort of get, I guess that's sort of an illusion to it. They kind of do like a figure eight walking pattern, right? I don't know. I don't know, but they didn't even do the single. They didn't do this part. And the iconic thing is a flipping your ring around, right? Is that copyright?

Is that like single ladies? Like, do you have to actually get the rights to do that move? You know, because like we didn't see any of it. And basically, yeah, they are preparing that. So then the guests are getting ready some more. And now the women show up, and everyone's dressed as different Beyoncé's. There's a feel-in-myself Beyoncé,

and a mood-forever Beyoncé, and a formation Beyoncé, and a homecoming, and exo, exo, Beyoncé. Love is like exo, exXO and it's hilarious and entertaining and fun for the whole family. It's just a lot of Beyonce-ing. Yeah. So then he's like, wow, this was so Beyonce. I just love it. You know, when I think of Beyonce, I think of this. Obsessed, absolutely obsessed. I love her song, We Are the World.

We are the children. We are the ones to make a better day. So let's start our future. Let's start garnishing plates. We are the plates. We are the dinner. We are the ones who fill your stomach up. So let's give it some garnish. So Barbara's like, Oh my God, Beyonce is exhausting. This is so hard. So she's laying down in a booth and Fraser comes up to her and he's like, last night of the fucking season. That

was, that was pretty good, I guess, was exhilarating. And Bar was like, do we have to work tomorrow? Are we flipping the boat or can I like sleep? I'm like, too rich for this. I'd just be up by 11 and she's like, but if I'm up late and I go up at 11, I just like really need naps. And Zandy's just standing out like looking,

be like, girl, you are the stupidest thing I've ever met on the high seas. But I only made eight hours and she's like, I literally haven are the stupidest thing I've ever met on the high seas. But I only might eight hours. And she's like, I literally haven't got eight hours one time ever. Yeah, but you like clocked off at like 10. And Zendy's like, no, I've not clocked off at 10 literally ever this entire season.

And so she's like, yeah, why is this girl complaining? And Barbie's like, well, I'm running way more than everybody else on this boat. And I'm like a richer, it's like harder for richer people to do it. And I'm like seeing up way later. And the very, very, very, very, very, very bare minimum is like, let me sleep eight hours. You know what I mean? Girl, you are lucky if you get to sleep eight hours for any job. Eight hours is not entitled anywhere in life. Sorry. I'm lucky I get six. I'm for unionized hours. I say you should get your damn eight hours. You fight for it. Who else is gonna fight for you?

Fraser? He's too busy learning the single girls dance. I think that was easy. I had eight hours, six of them were thinking of all the brilliant Beyonce choreography that I just did walking in a circle. Do you think that was easy? It's iconic. Fraser, are you doing the bottle dance from Fiddler on the Roof? Yes, there's all the single ladies, right? So they're like, oh god, we just have to put up with Barbie for five more seconds.

Yeah. And he's like, it's not a competition, Barbie. All right. She's like, yeah, but I've slept less. I'm like losing the sleeping competition. So she's like, you guys are so mean to me. He's like, all right, Bobby, whatever. So then my favorite, when people are complaining about not getting enough sleep and being overworked for minimum wage,

I'm a big spender, I'm a big spender, I'm a big spender, gimme this, gimme that. Yeah, so they get set down for dinner and everything and the food is going up. There's like salmon, there's cured wahoo, there's a strawberry cake with lemon sponge. We're seeing it all, seeing all the photos, et cetera. And then we see Fraser serving more of it. It's just a lot of food coming out to the table for dinner, et cetera. It's just funny listening to Fraser announce things like, enjoy your local wahoo. And no, we did not slice up Barbie and put her on a plate. It's a bit of a wahoo

herself. So then the crew kitchen Paris Barbie in Paris, Paris is squirting may on things because you know, it's her personality. And she's Barbies like, Oh my god, you found mail. Wow, you're so happy with your mayo. That's so interesting. She's like, oh, I can sniff mayonnaise out. She goes, yeah, you really need this mayo, huh? Can you move your mayo party over there? Because it's disgusting. Have you ever put mayo on your titties?

She's like, no, but I probably feel like I should have, right? Would that make me more iconic? I don't know if I could handle it really. I've already got a float in the parade. Manny's float. Hellman's. But I was in West Hollywood. It would actually be called best foods. Has that man been able to sleep for eight hours? So now there's more food going up. The guests are talking about like someone getting really good head and Fraser's back in the kitchen with Chef Nick, and they're just plating some more. And it goes well. Dinner goes very well. And actually, everything goes very well this

entire evening, the more I look at it. And the cake goes- Yeah, not a time is coming on. Let's just skip. Why are we reading all this? Let's just skip to the end. I am skipping it. Every time I skip forward, it's like, and Fraser brings out a plate. That's like, Fraser brings out some cake. Yeah, no, let's just skip to the meat of this because this is crazy. So, Barbie's talking to Paris and she's like, I literally had to pull toilet paper out of the toilet

and it's in this bag and I got to piss all over myself and I fucking hate being here and I hate it. That's all I need eight hours. Eight hours! So it's bedtime. And then the sun comes up, it's the morning now. Everyone's sleeping, people are waking up. Nick is snoring again like crazy,

Dylan's going mad, et cetera. And everyone's getting to their posts, they're groggy, it's the last day of work, but they are ready to just push through and get to party time. Yeah, they get rid of everybody. Everybody leaves. So Captain Carr is like, all right, guys, last time we're going to do this, let's haul that anchor. We could all die. The anchor's coming up. We're going into port. It's one of the scariest times

in the world. Wind, wind, wind, wind, wind, wind. There's a whirlpool, suddenly a whirlpool, and a tornado, a tornado above the whirlpool, a tornado creating a whirlpool, and there's fire in the tornado. Oh no, it's Twisters coming to the theater soon this summer. It's happening right here on the board. We're fine. We actually don't... No, we're fine. It's fine. Is this great? Everything's great?

Everything's great. Great time. So Ben's like, After sleeping on it, I feel like I need to apologize to Captain Kiri. I mean, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. Would I run a vessel differently? Probably. Okay. Yeah, I think we've gotten the glimpse of how you'd run a vessel and it's very sexy.

It's very sexy. He's like probably but you know what, he's the captain, it's the right thing to do. Hair flick, eye roll with one eye, one eye closed like a Popeye eye roll. So he goes into the wheelhouse and he's like, um, you know, captain, just about last night when we flicked my hair, like I'm in a Pantene commercial, you know, I had a bit of a think about it and seeing you as upset as you were,

like we were definitely wrong. Yeah, sorry, mate, I really apologize. Oh yeah, after thinking about it. And also he's not your mate. I really don't like Yeah, sorry, mate, I really apologize. Oh yeah, after thinking about it. And also he's not your mate. I really don't like to, he's like, I'm gonna go apologize, I guess, because I have to, and he's like, hey mate, what mate?

Listen here, mate. I'm like, how dare you? Captain Sandy were here, she'd be like, guess what, Matt, you're mate. Okay, Matt, you're mate. She gets so mad at the supermarket when she tries to buy creamer, she's like, um, no, I'm not your mate, coffee.

I don't know who you think you are, but I'm the captain and you're just the creamer. Okay. Copy me. So Captain Carrie, what I love is that I have some, um, uh, Captain helper. You have that the coffee, you know, sweetened Snickers flavored. That would be great. So I, what I love is that Ben does this apology and he's probably expecting Captain Kerry to say, it's all right. We all mess up as part of the learning experience, but Captain Kerry doesn't give them that.

Captain Kerry is basically like, look, if someone can't follow my orders when things are easy, what's going to happen if there's a line in front of you and I tell you to get the hose and the fighter, what if there's another real pool with a tornado on top of it? You know what I'm trying to say here? Hugely disappointed in you, mate. And Ben's like, yeah, for sure, mate. He's like, all right, but I do appreciate you coming up and talking to me.

That means a lot. And I hope that this is a learning experience. So he tells us, it takes a lot of courage to grow and for Ben to dig deep and to apologize wholeheartedly and take responsibility. It takes a lot. And for that, I'll commend him. And then he does my favorite thing, which is Captain Kerry model lips.

Have you noticed that he does blue seal? He goes, and I commend him for that. I commend him real good. You got this is my model shot. Just imagine wind blowing through my non hair. And then they shake hands and Ben goes, I mean it was funny because we did walk into our cabin afterwards and I thought, are we in the wrong cabin? Cause it's so clean. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So, they're serving breakfast. Sunny, it's the last docking. Okay, we already pretended we did the last docking. So let's pretend they're all about to die. They haven't dived yet? No, it's a fina, it's a last docking. Okay, we already pretended we did the last docking. So let's pretend they're all about to die. They haven't died yet. No. It's a typical finale episode.

You know, there are a lot of things we dread recapping. Some are reunions because they're like 30 pages of craziness that you have to take notes for every single thing. And then there's below deck finales where it's just like, all right, let's eat eggs one last time. And then people are like, you know what I learned this season? It's better to mop when you have a wet mop.

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dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Millie Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It on the Fame early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Okay, so they have docked. The primary has left and now it is time. Everyone's like, people are, Kyle's drinking a beer and everything and now it's time for a tip meeting. So Captain

Kerry gathers everyone and goes, man, I've got a lot to say. I've been doing this since I was 18 and you know, I'm 47 now as they say in Turkey, Simda 47 Yasin the I.M. So just let that settle in. I know I don't look it but it's only because I've learned to model. Hold on a second. All right. Now, you know, I haven't seen the team work so well together since Laurel and Hardy, or as we call them in Turkey, Kloppik and Schlucknos. Now, the final tip of the season is 20,000. I know it's not that much, but they've left a note that says, please, don't people make him don't make people walk in circles and call it a twerk. Right. They said that they deducted $5,000 for us apparently ruining Beyonce for them forever. They've also doctor a store off the Yelp review and there's a cell phone footage

picture of Paris lathering her face in mayonnaise. Quite odd. They said something about we're so traumatized that we've started to listen to Kerry Hilsen instead. So that sounds pretty rough. So now it's time to go out guys. Okay, one last time to go out. So Carl calls his mom and she's like, hello love.

He's like, stop mom. Just a little bit going on over here. I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love with a beautiful girl. Isn't this going to change my life? I'm bringing her home for having babies. My whole life has changed and I can't wait for you to meet her mom. Oh, but Kyle, have you told her that you won't be home for another 12 years on account of Brigadoon timings?

You tell her the window is closing. And he's like, I've not brought many home girls home to meet my mother. My relationships don't seem to last. Yeah, you're a drunk with hangar scars. You know what I mean? Sorry. You're a very nice drunk and you've got a tripod, which is, you know, something. You're a very sweet guy, but yeah, you're a drunk who burns herself with hangers, so.

Well, I'm pleased for you, dear. And she's welcome to come and visit, and if that's what she wants to do, she's more than welcome, you know that. Don't you know that, Kyle? Yes, yes, I do, Mom. I know 100%, take it easy, love you. So he's like, how's God if she's got to 20? Mom!

Don't tell her we exclusively drink Pepsi in this household. Profit's like, um, I heard Kyle talking to his mom. Really, all I heard was pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour. It's a different language. This don't really understand it. So everyone's getting ready. Dylan is putting on some weird red shorts that have like a Santa beard on them and a mustache like right on his dick. It's a very, like it's a really, it's like a deeply annoying boxer,

especially knowing that no one's going to be getting into them, right? Like it's like, dude, you're putting on this novelty of underwear and you know you're not, like you're not gonna be bringing anyone home. Well, I don't think Santa underwear all that sex, like who fuck Santa? But I think that he thinks,

I think he's like planning to have some sort of strip tease and I'm like, hey guys, look at me, I've lost so much weight, I get strip tease at the bar, guys. Yeah, he's sad, Dylan, he's a sad guy. And actually I like Dylan, now that we've seen him the whole season. I mean, he did have that moment where he's sad, he's sad, Dylan. He's a sad guy. And actually I like Dylan, now that we've seen him the whole season. I mean, he did have that moment where he's like,

oh, I have to fuck the person to get to, and I'm not saying he's perfect, but he just seems so broken, you know, and like his little, his affirmations, and how he has kind of like an AI face. You know how his face looks kind of like- Yeah, it does look very AI. I think it's, and it looks like him when he was a kid. So it's his basic face, but I think it's just like

plumped and injected and I don't know. It just looks very sad. Hmm. Yeah. I think this, I think he looks really sad. All right, I'll fuck Santa. I think that Dylan only looks sad because he has deep sadness in his eyes.

That's the only reason. That's the only reason. I think the only reason he looks sad is because of, you know, the traumatizing sadness that he sadness in his eyes. That's the only reason. That's the only reason. I think the only reason he looks sad is because of, you know, the traumatizing sadness that's causing him. Because of unresolved emotions from his entire life.

But that's it, really. I think he just looks sad because he's sad. Yeah, I think he's just like overwhelming sadness that he tries to cover up with. It's not like vitamin depletion. We shouldn't worry. It's probably only because he represses his true emotions down into a little ball inside his stomach.

Yeah, I don't know. Every time I see him, I just hear that song like, don't cry out loud. Frazier's doing the single ladies. Frazier's just like, I'm twerking. Na na na na na na na. All the single ladies, don't cry out loud. Don't cry out loud.

All the single ladies don't cry out loud. Don't cry out loud. Um, so they're going out, they're getting into vans. Uh, Kyle like, like yells out to the other van. He's like, suck my dick bitch. And of course, Barbie's like, stop it. Kyle. Kyle. Which is like, I think.

I'm gonna eat it tonight, Kyle. You're dating, you're dating a fucking drunk who's drinking a bottle of whiskey before he's even going, who do you think you're dating? Like stop acting like you just- But this is like, she gets off on that, I think. I think that she is someone who is like, gets off and being able to like reign someone in. It's like that awful girl

who is doing it to the awful boast. And I think last season, who was like, I'm from Miami, I'm a hot girl from Miami, and she was like, stop it, you know, to that guy, Reed, whatever his name was. Yeah, my friends used to call me the bounty man, not because I was ever strong or big, but because I love to date messes, you know?

Some people are just like that, you know? I guess that was me. I think it's her way of impressing her father, given that her father has such high standards for her, like you've gotta act this way, yada, yada, yada, that if she acts sort of in a way like very presentational or like she presents as very performatively like stop doing that, that's uncouth. It's almost like signaling to her father, don't worry, I still have standards. Yeah. Who knows? I guess. So we need to kill the father, right?

This isn't my dream for Barbie. Is it Barbie and her sister decide like it's time to kill dad, judge mental dad and get all of his money. Duh-duh. Okay, so yeah, they're going out and saying, oh my God, I cannot believe you're not classy. So then they go to a waterfall and-

They're having dinner at the waterfall and then there's like talk about like, should Kyle jump into the water? And he's like, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna get into the water. Which means he's gonna have to get naked and jump into the water at this restaurant. So Barbie's like, Kyle, no, don't do that, Kyle.

Don't get in the water, please, Kyle, don't get in the water. And he starts taking off his pants. She's like, oh my God, please put your giant dick away. I can't, Kyle, I't get in the water, please, Kyle, don't get in the water." And he starts taking off his pants. She's like, Oh my God, please put your giant dick away. I can't, Kyle, I can't. But then all the other employees are like, Go get naked, get naked, get naked. So he does and she gets mad. But then he comes back for now. And then Benny and Sunny go to talk. And Ben's like, Oh, I'd love to see where this goes. Basically is what

happened. Or I have not gotten any other interests from women except for you. So I've decided to give you a chance until I do get interest from other women. So how does that sound for you? She's like, Oh my god, great. It sounds amazing. I'm so glad I stuck up for myself. So here's the here's where I've come at the end of the season, guys. This guy gives me no respect and treats me like shit. where I've come at the end of the season, guys. This guy gives me no respect and treats me like shit, and I've learned that it was my problem in the first place,

and I'm just honored to not be offended anymore. Yeah. I'm an example. She says, you know, I'm such a hopeless romantic, and I love Romeo and Juliet, except for the part where they die, and I don't want that to happen. I'm just hoping that something fruitful comes out of this. What part of this relationship with Ben

speaks of hopeless romance? Because, I mean, it actually, all of it. I love when Romeo was like, hold on, Julia, and then FaceTimed Claudia. Yeah, he's like, hold on, let me see if Ophelia is busy. Ophelia, no? All right. Ophelia wannabang still?

Wannabang when you come in town? Hold on, let me see if lady Macbeth is around. No, she hashtag memories of lady Macbeth. Remember that? Just doing a little bit. I'll take a blow from King King Henry actually. Is he right? King Henry wanna wanna give me a what about no, no, no, nobody. None of the ghosts. No. Nobody. Remember the ghosts? Remember the witches? Any of the witches that that bubble bubble cold and trouble, etc. Nobody? Nobody. All right. Well, Sonny, it

is that she's like, this is the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah, Ben was clearly like banking on Barbie quitting. He's like, he's like, I guarantee Bobby's gonna quit and they're gonna have to replace it with someone else. So I'm just gonna wait for that. See how that turns out. And she never did. So he's like, I guess I'll stick with Sonny. Yeah.

Yep. It's like walking through a Costco and there's just so many samples and you just keep walking around. He's like, I refuse to pick up that box of cookies until I've tasted all of the samples. Yeah. And you know, Sunny's just another one. But I will say this about Sunny.

I actually really like Sunny. The only thing I don't like about Sunny is Ben. I think otherwise she did a really great job. She rose to the challenge. She did a really great job with everything. But man, get some self-respect. Yeah. So now back at dinner, Barbie's really upset.

She's really upset at Kyle and he now feels bad. And to be fair, like yes, Barbie should know who she's dating, but at the same time, if they are having conversations and he's like, no, I won't do anything stupid. I won't do anything silly. And then he does it anyway. She's dating a drunk.

Yeah, but also if they have a conversation and then he does it despite the fact that she, if she makes a request and he says, I will honor your request. And then he doesn't, that's also fucked up on his part. Like he should hold up his end of the bargain. Yeah, but she's dating a stupid drunk. Like you're dating, you're, you're dating a trashy frat boy. Like that's what you're going to get. I think she's just doing this because she's like, this was her storyline. She wanted to date somebody because you have to date somebody on below deck. She wanted to date a mess so she could always remember she went for that fucking loser in the beginning. Yeah but it goes both ways like she's dating a drunk so she should know but he's also dating like

a prissy. But I'm not saying she shouldn't be mad. I'm just saying like what are you gonna expect? You're wasting your time. But also he is same for him. Like, you know, it goes his way too. He sits there and he's like, oh, oh, this lover, I really miss this one up. It's like, well, you messed, yeah, you did. Because you're dating kind of like a spoiled girl who is like very concerned about her image on TV with her dad.

So you should pull up a little bit. Why don't you rise the challenge? Yeah, but you know, you know the whole saying, like don't argue with drunk people because they're not in the state of mind to do it I just believe that about couples like this. I'm like, I don't care about I don't yeah I just like I don't care about couples like this because they're just trashed. They're never gonna work No matter what they're just trashy and they're they obviously don't really care that much about each other

They're just drunk like if it was a sober argument It would be different but a drunk argument like I don't care and also I think she's just with this guy for a storyline and she's waiting for any excuse to get rid of this guy. Yeah. She goes, I'm a fucking class actor. I'm not gonna date someone who's not you're on Bravo. There's just no such thing as a class act on Bravo. Unfortunately, you've revoked that card. Yeah. So then and also you're shaming him but like you fucked on TV. Know what I mean? Like who's a class act? We're all fucking on TV on Bravo.

You know, I'd be doing it. The only difference is I don't call myself a class act. You know, I think there's a certain point where you just have to say, I'm not a class act. And that's okay. I'm not a class act, so I'm gonna stop acting classy. You know, it's okay. Why do you need to be?

Yeah, so Shepnick is asking her like, how rich is your dad? That's my question. How much money are we talking about? Cause that's how I draw the line. Okay. Is it a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year? That's not rich enough to care. Is it a few million a year? That's rich enough to care. So I need to know. What do you think? That is probably very wealthy. Very, very, very wealthy. You think? Yeah. I don't know. Coca Cola executive could mean anything. True. Well, either way, Chef Nick is the one who actually is able to summarize us the best, I think, which is that he says, you know, with Kyle and Barbie, both of both of those two are not in the wrong and they're not in the right. So I can't really see a future, but I can't even have a relationship in the first place. So don't take advice from me. I mean, I'm the one getting bossed around about oil drizzle and I'm catering to it. So I can't even get a girl to be nice to me after I've added a garnish on ginger

roll to something. Right? What I'm trying to say is my time here on Belodick has been short and has been very sad for me. Yeah. He's like, I'm even sadder than I was when I got here. I was pretty sad when I got here. So Barbie is like super mad. And then Kyle is just getting drunker and drunker. And so is Andy. Everyone's getting shit faced, right? Right. Because it's last night, that's what you do.

So then they go to a club, they get more and more shit faced. And Barbie is like, oh my God, was this like the hardest season for you? Or have you done harder seasons than that, Zandy? And she's like, I've done like, this like the hardest season for you? Or have you done harder seasons than there's Andy and she's like, I've done like, I did like cocaine heads for for three months. Yeah, but it was different because I had my person on board.

I like that Zandy formalizes the term coke heads. She's like, I had cocaine heads. That's how you say it, right. So so now everyone is, uh, Barbie and Kyle are now talking now, cause now they're going to reconcile. So Barbie's like, I'm very mad at you. He's like, Oh, why now? Jesus Christ. And he's like, all right, okay.

I asked you to do one thing, one thing. Like, what the fuck? I'm asking you for that's so hard to cover your fucking huge dick. Yeah. She's like, I am. Here's the reason I'm at you because I asked you not to bring out your huge dick. And then why are you forgiving me? Because you have a really huge dick. Yeah, that's usually how it works. She goes, I'm like literally like falling in love with you

and like, you're like worth it to me. And he's like, okay, well, look, I am in the wrong, right? I'm in the wrong and I'm throwing my heart out here and I'm sorry that I'm being like an idiot and I'm like being an idiot and I've not felt this way in a long time. You know that, you know the feeling that I'm feeling? It's the feeling of having a big dick.

It's huge. It's huge. Just out flapping in the wind. I feel it so good in that pool. Most people feel feelings of deepness like this in their heart. I feel it against my knee. That tells you anything. That's a good reminder of whyness like this in their heart, I feel it against my knee. That tells you anything.

That's a good reminder of why I got involved in this. So, okay, it's good. Let's hold hands. All right. Now I'd just like to point out that this next scene is all started by Frazier as usual. Absolutely. As fucking usual. And he gets away with it again, every single time. He's so sly. So they're in the van now going home, and Fraser goes, if I could say the things I wanted to say,

it'd be dark, it'd be very dark. And Zandy's like, yeah, I think we all know Bobby would have been gone. And she's like, Zandy? Because Barbie's sitting right there, right? She goes, well, I would have, if you would have been my stew, I would have let you go, that's just the truth.

So, okay, from here on out, you deserve what you fucking get fucking get I mean are we all supposed to feel sorry for Xandy after this No, fuck you. You're about fucking cruel, man She's like when you only got that attitude and now you've adopted it's just like trying to spin it into actually a nice thing I was complimenting you I was saying before but I wouldn't fire you now Yes, you would and you and Fraser are being mean girls right to her face. So you deserve whatever you fucking get now. Although they got exactly what they wanted in the end, eh? Eh?

And so Barbie's like, I'm sorry, all the fucking time and her has been against me, but I've made it fucking through. So Barbie also has this whole thing, like everyone's been against me and I've been working the hardest out of everyone. I don't think that Barbie's a bad worker but I don't think that she's an exemplary worker.

She seems to be working as hard as everyone else but she is the sort of person who thinks that by her working as hard as everyone else, that's her working harder than everyone else. And that's not the same thing, obviously. And she thinks it is. I mean, look, I got lost. Okay, so I did have something to say,

but then I was like, I don't care anymore. Frazer's like, listen, interior is, you think interior is against, we're not against you. We just all think you're disgusting. That's it. Yeah, and Barbara was like, but you just said you would fire me if you were my chiefs too.

She was, yeah, but I'm glad that you made it. And she was like, I made it through because my captain believed in me and goes, Yeah, but I'm glad that you made it. And she's like, Um, I made it through because my captain believed in me and I'm sorry guys that I busted my ass. So he said, and she's right. They didn't do her any favors. They tried to get her fired. The captain was the one that kept her. Yeah. And so Zandy's like, Bobby, can you just give me a minute? She's like, yeah. And she's like, in the first week, but what's the point of saying that right now? Because she's, Barbie's like mad. She's also drunk.

But that's true. I'm with Barbie. What the fuck is that? Like you wait till the last night, and then we're all drunk and going home, and then you're like, yeah, you suck, Barbie. Like, what the fuck is the point? You're an asshole. You're just another Fraser with different hair.

Here's where I think Fraser is really bad, is that Fraser should have really, he should have intervened. Intervened, he started it. And deescalated it. He should have started it. He started it. He started this whole thing on purpose.

So Xander's like, can you give me a little time? Cause now Barbie is like, she's going mad, right? Like she is non-stop speaking. She's like really angry and Kyle is like, everybody just relax a little bit. And Zandy is like, honestly, Barbie's like, sure, go ahead, talk, talk, talk. And Zandy goes, I know that you're good at your job.

And Barbie's like, but what's the point of saying that, Zandy? Like what's the point of saying that right now, Zandy? Yeah. And she's like, listen, I the point of saying that, Sandy? Like, what's the point of saying that right now, Sandy? Yeah. And she was like, Listen, I'm a deaf mute. I guess I can't talk about anything. She goes, Yeah, but why do I get these negative comments all the time? And Paris is like, shush, shush, everybody. Shush. Think of mayonnaise, mayonnaise, mayonnaise, everybody. mayonnaise in a jar, mayonnaise in a squeezy. But why

is everyone against me? And Fraser tells Sandy, don't say anything. Don't say anything more. Don't say anything. You've done enough. Do you not see the utter happiness in my eyes right now? I'm still fucking here. So get over it. And Paris is like, everyone shush.

I know you're here, so shush right now. I'm done. I'm gonna get it. I'm done. And it's like, thank you. So then there's a long pause. And they say, I've been nice to you people. I'm so happy.

So now of course, Barbie's gonna just leave it because that's Barbie. So here she goes. Here she goes. And Paris is getting annoyed. Paris is like, all right, you said it now 20 times. I've hated already. I'd rather talk about my kid in his five pronged dick

at this point. Guess what we didn't do? Or something happened. What happened? Oh, we haven't do? Or something happened. Happened? Oh, we haven't been live all this time. You saw it. You saw me press the go live, didn't you? What the hell happened? I don't know what I saw. Alright, well, we're recording here, at least everybody. Everyone, this crap is on demand.

Is not a crap is on demand. It happens from time to time, you know? Damn it. But we pressed it. What the hell? It stopped itself, but it wouldn't have stopped itself because it wouldn't still say go live as an option. It did not, sometimes, okay, here's what happens sometimes in the times when I've pressed record and then it doesn't go, is you hit live

and then if you maybe hit something again, it thinks that you cancel it. What a goddamn loss. All right, so anyway, back to this Barbie fight. So Barbie's basically fighting and screaming and then Kyle's just trying to calm it down. And so she's like, Kyle, if you don't start backing me, and he's like, I'm backing your corner,

but I'm telling you, you need to shut the fuck up. Like, it's me back, it's me in your corner telling you to shut the fuck up. And she goes, oh my God, I didn't be crying. Why is she crying? Because Andy is now going, I can't take it. Well, then don't start it. Yeah, don't start it.

You don't get to cry now because you were mean girling with Fraser. So if you need to hug and cry to anybody, do it to him. Yeah. So Zandi is crying and everything and Barbie is like, oh, you're on the blame and I'm the problem, I'm the problem. And Paris is like, yes, you fucking are.

Because at this point, even though Zandi is the one who started, really Fraser started, but Zandi is the one who said the most inflammatory thing, at this point, even though Zandi is the one who started really Fraser started, but Zandi is one who said the most inflammatory thing. At this point, Barbie won't shut up. So now there's she's just annoying every single person because she just is going and going and going and going. Well, don't smoke in bed and complain that your bed's on fire. Know what I'm saying? So Fraser's like, stop, stop. And then he says, let's be out of

this fucking car. Let's be out of this fucking. I'm also with you. Like, I I'm not quite as much on Barbie's side as you are, but I don't quite understand why Zandi is having such a meltdown, to be honest. Yeah. I think they're just drunk. I'm just team Barbie because they were so mean. I mean, of course Barbie acts like a total child

because she is a total child, so she's freaking out. Like, I wouldn't, I would like to think that I wouldn't derinde out on everybody, but at the same time, everybody else deserves it. I don't like all these mean people getting away with shit. Like, I don't like Fraser getting to mean girl everybody and then just walking away from everything. I don't think it's fair.

And unfortunately, he still is getting away with it because the only one taking heat for any of this is Zambi, and Fraser started it. So I would love if Fraser got a little burned here, but whatever. Yeah, and so, because like for me, there is a part of me that says like they are being mean girls but I can also see them totally exasperated by Barbie who like all season long is like I need a break I've just been like doing so much work I'm like doing more work than everyone here and there's like oh my god this

fucking girl like shut up already like I can understand them being at their wits end but it is still mean what they did though. Both things can be right Yeah, yeah, why not? So wrong. So wrong that they're both right. What are you gonna do? So basically Barbie's losing her mind and Barbie's like, get me the fuck out of this car and then don't touch me. Don't touch me So she's also mad at Kyle. And Barbie's like, let me out. Let me out of the car But now Barbie's mad at Kyle because Kyle basically told her to shut the fuck up, which was not nice for him to say. I think he was intending to be like, listen, for your own sake,

you're going to embarrass yourself. Just stop talking. Let this thing settle down. But she didn't want to hear it. She wanted support from her man at that moment. Yeah. And so, um, then Barbie fucking- Even though, by the way, even though if it were totally reversed, Barbie would be the one to be like, shut the fuck up, Kyle, stop talking, Kyle, Kyle's being- Yeah, but I'm taking Kyle on this one.

I'm trying to help you here. No, I know, I'm saying- You're being crazy. I'm saying that Barbie gets mad at Kyle when like- But you're being like, Kyle, like, I have manners. And then the second it's on her, she's like, fuck all of you. She's acting like deranged and he's like- She's like, I have class. She's like, I have manners. And then the second it's on her, she's like, fuck all of you. She's acting like deranged and he's like, what is? I have class.

She's like, I have so much class. And then this is how she acts, like completely classless. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's so funny when she's like, I have so much more class than everybody. I'm like, you've been fucking on camera just the same as everybody else. You've been shit faced on camera just

the same as everybody else. Like, it's not like your poop don't stink, OK? Your poop smells just as poor as the rest of us. So she walks in and she's like, fucking alpha in a car full of fucking betas. Which is so, of course she said that. It's like, okay, okay ma'am, and Zandy's crying. She's like, is she fucking crazy?

So Barbie's like, I don't know these fucking idiots in my fucking life. I'm successful. Ma'am, you are in stearant. You are the third stew. You are. You are literally serving like ice cubes to other people. So so then Kyle's on the boat. He's like, for fuck's sake.

She's all I did was work my ass off. Can I have another break? I deserve eight hours of sleep, please. So she's like losing her mind. Just fuck everybody, fuck everybody. And so Kyle tries to like enter the room, but she's locked the doors like, really? She goes, yeah, leave me the fuck alone, Kyle. Please, and Barbie.

Fuck you, Kyle. Barbie. Fuck off, Kyle. You're supposed to be the person on my team, and all you do is back other people now. Get the fuck away from me. Leave me the fuck alone. Yeah So then um Paris goes guys. This is how nuclear war breaks out between countries Especially if it's an alpha country with a bunch of bait countries And Sandy's crying in the bathroom. She's like I just said I don't want to work with her and I don't Well, then say it behind her back like a polite fucking person or take the consequences.

You knew who you were dealing with it. You're fucking bad for Zambi. Get out of here. All I wanted to do was say something very rude and hurtful to her and now she's all like, ah, it's like you can't gank up on a girl anymore. You guys wanted to drive me batshit crazy? You win. Everybody wins and I don't need this shit.

I am done. I am successful alpha. This is like, I quit. And Fraser's just like, I can't believe I finally done it. Like I've finally done it. Yeah. So she's pulling like things off of like hangers and she's packing bags and you just think like,

okay, whatever. And cause I think she's done this about 50 times where she's like, I, whatever. And she's- Cause I think she's done this about 50 times. Where she's like, I am leaving. And she packs all of her stuff up. She goes, I'm gonna go straight to a five star resort. It's like, you actually technically are kind of on one, but you're just in the basement. Yeah.

So then, yeah, she was packing up and yelling still. And she's like, you fat piece of shit. And she tells us, this is not me quitting because my job's done. All I've done this whole season is put my ego aside and work on my job. Oh yeah. Can we have clips of you putting your ego aside

where you're on the phone with your friends? Like I do everything, everyone here is trash. Everyone here is literally poor trash. Again. Having a meltdown when Frasier asks you to set a table. I just don't like the way you. I don't like the vibe. Yeah, she is. She is the biggest hero in her own mind. So she is really leaving. She's like really leaving right now, like 12 hours before she's slated to leave. It's wild. Yeah. Well, you know,

she wanted to make good TV and she sure did. Yeah. So she's like, she's packing up her whole thing. And she's like packing up her bags and there she's really, there's a taxi ready. I mean, that van is ready, which means that she probably told production. She's like, I'm going, production's like, it's fine. This'll be great for the finale. Here's your van.

And I like that she's like, Kyle, I will never speak to you again. Kyle, take my suitcase out of the car. He's like, all right. I know, we are freaking done. I'm never gonna meet someone who doesn't have my back. Which by the way, I kind of feel like one of the reasons she flipped out so much at Kyle was because she still was ultimately not comfortable with being with Kyle. Yeah, I'm saying she was coming up with any excuse to get rid of this guy.

He doesn't have to come up with a reason to be like, okay, here we are in Florida. You're not staying here. You know that, right? It was like the reality of the situation is that she's like, wait a second, I'm being told I'm bad at my job. And I'm with like a poor Scotsman. My dad is going to kill me. I have to get out of this. Well, it's like Fraser said, he's like, she's going to get off this boat and say, we're not the same. You know, I mean, he's right. You know? Yeah. So yeah, I think she's using this as a major excuse to

she's so mean. She goes, Kyle is the biggest disappointment of them all. I never want to see Kyle again. That is so mean. Like, I'm sorry, like, you could, you can take the side of like, Kyle did not have her back. But that is so extreme. To this guy, like, I never want to see him again, because he told me to be quiet during the argument like, and to keep my mouth shut and don't dig a deeper hole for myself.

Well, I think she's looking at it like you give a bone to a stray and they never stop following you around. So she's just like cutting him off. I really think she looks at everybody else as being so poor and she's so rich. She's afraid of like Kyle coming in and like, you know, trying to like,

I think drink his soup with his hands. I think she's just setting herself up for when people say, do you speak to Kyle? And people are like, that's so mean that you don't speak to Kyle anymore. She's like getting ahead of the story by saying like, no, it's not that I ghosted him. It's that I was so disappointed

that I never want to see him again. Yeah. So then Kyle's like, oh, rough as a batter's dick, by the way. And Ferris is like, oh five. Been there, done it four times. So Fraser's like, my head hurts so much. I'm sorry, did I say my head hurts? I mean, my heart is thriving. My heart is thriving.

Seeing those taillights in the distance, what a wonderful night. So then, let's see, Kyle hasn't heard anything from her in the morning. And he's sad, you know? He's like, I put my heart out on the table. Have it hurt? It got bit straight back to me.

Yeah, but you could also like not get shitfaced and make it for one single night. So I'm not really, really bad for you either. Oh, this is a good below deck because I really feel nothing for anybody by the end. So I'm like, you all deserve worse. So Ben, he's like, if you've not heard anything, and cause like, yeah, no, I got a message from the last night saying fucking change your fucking flight.

I never want to see you again. Fucking change your fucking flight. Sorry. I was not being Scottish. Fucking change your fucking flight. I never want to see you again. Yeah. So Paris is like, everyone was so fucking annoying last night. And he's like, yeah, I mean, look, obviously I was wrong, but I didn't do it. It wasn't that bad when I did, you know, geez. She says a drunken mouth speaks sober truth. Paris is like, oh my God, I look like an animal.

More importantly, I'm a gay icon. I can't go out on the road looking like this. All right. Now's the goodbye time. Now I really liked how they changed this whole goodbye section. I can't say it made the finale that much more interesting. I feel like they should just end it where Barbie leaves and everybody leaves and that's the end. Yeah, it just ended there. But thanks.

But yeah, but instead it's this whole saying goodbye. But it didn't it wasn't this time like every single cast person had to go say goodbye. And I thought that was good. Yeah. wasn't this time like every single cast person had to go say goodbye and I thought that was good. Yeah. I hate that. Oh my God. So Dylan is up and he goes, Oh, Captain Keery. And Captain Keery's like, Oh, there you go, mate. You know, it's good. Like it's good to have you aboard. I know I was a bit up and down for you and I'm sorry for all the calories on the ham. I'm glad you were able to wash a bunch of them off. I know that was tough for you, but you rose to the challenge of washing ham.

that was tough for you, but you rose to the challenge of washing ham. So then he's out, Ben, you know, says bye to him or whatever and Dylan's like, you're such a good leader. Hello, RJK. So then, I don't know, how many of these do you wanna do? Well, we can just- Wrap it up, what happened that's interesting? So Fraser, so Paris goes and says goodbye to everyone

and she leaves and she goes back to work. And then Chef Nick, he leaves. And then Ben goes to him. Let's go to Barbie and Carrie. Yeah, Ben tells Captain Carrie, by the way, do you know what happened? He's like, oh, well, as far as I'm concerned, we have all the members of our team on the boat and they're coming to me one by one to say goodbye. So pretty up to date, I think.

He's like, no, Barbie quit. She was mad. of our team on the boat and they're coming to me one by one to say goodbye so pretty up to date I think. Uh huh. He's like no Bobby quit. She was mad. So he calls her and he's like hey you doing there? You know I'm just like a little disappointed that it all went down like this. Like I'm done you know. It's like me against the entire cast of Les Mis. It's like really really hard.

You know what I mean? Like I just don't have to be on a yacht where people are attacking me. Like I need to work on myself but I also need to work on myself with people that care about me not with poor I just don't have to be on a yacht where people are attacking me. Like, I need to work on myself, but I also need to work on myself with people that care about me, not with poor people that don't. I mean, it's like, what am I going to fight with an entire dollar store full of people? So Captain Carrie's like, well, in a way, Barbie's always been pissing in the wind, which is, you know, when it comes out of a lady pot, it's kind of like a spray. It's kind of like a, it's kind of like the Bellagio gone wrong, you know, and she just didn't

quite fit in. And I feel for her, because everyone else doesn't piss in the wind, they piss in the toilet. So that was a big problem for her. So he's like, how you doing today? She's like, I just, I mean, I really don't like this hotel, it's disgusting. So there's like nice villas,

so I'm gonna move into those, so they start cracking up. It's like, I'm glad you could still be a snobby asshole, you know, to spite all your tears or whatever. Yeah, exactly. So then Zandi and Fraser are like, they just can't believe it. Like they're actually like, they don't seem to remember that the fight

or Fraser's doing the thing of like, what's that for Bobby? What Bobby? As if he wasn't sitting there like taking pictures, you know, like cheering to himself the whole time that his plan finally worked. Yeah, so then Zandi leaves and then Kyle, he leaves. Actually everyone leaves. That's it. So then Captain Carrie and Ben have their scene and Ben's like, hey, Kat, yeah, it's been tough, you know,

just so much frustration. But I think seeing the guys, how they were at the end there, I think that, you know, it's proof that it was a job well done. It's like, what was frustrating, Ben? You came on with another job, someone got fired a lot because of your negativity, by the way, undermining, and then you were raised to a position that you weren't even hired for what the fuck you complaining about. And also, it was pretty easy as far as all that went to what the guy asked you to like hose off a piece of machinery once and that you're so butthurt against about what an ungrateful little fuck i was so happy when captain karey said i had a lot of

hopes for been this season from the very start i believe that he should have been the boston but by the end of the season i dared i put him put them there, which I was like, that's great. I feel like every single season, the shittiest worker, captain's always like, oh, you know, so we crashed into a mountain. So, you know, so she had no experience being a bosun, but you know what? She has the determination. And for that, I would hire her again any moment.

But this time it's like, fuck this guy. Captain Sandy has that constant positivity where she's like, well, she started the board on fire, but at least she's not Hannah. I know, but Captain Carrie's like, hey, wouldn't make his bed, can't hire him. Yeah. Oh, I made a mistake.

He literally made his bed without making his bed, if you know what I'm saying. So then, yeah, so then Captain Carrie and Fraser, it's the last scene, and Fraser, he's like, I love the growth So then, yeah, so then Captain Kerry and Fraser, it's the last scene and Fraser, he's like, I love the growth of you, mate, you know, you could see what was going on. And you did best to tune it around. And you did tune it around. He's like, Wow, we're very, very, very lucky to have you Captain. I'm as in all of you as I am Beyonce. Your growth has been amazing. It's like you went from Tilda Swinton in Orlando

to Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton. Just an amazing trajectory. So he basically, I'm surprised he actually was so nice to Fraser, because I feel like Fraser really did struggle. Like how many times did Fraser like go up, march up to the wheelhouse and say, I've absolutely had it. There's no way we can do this anymore.

Bobby and the chef and everyone on board need to be fired. He's like, all right, now hold on a second. But I think the captain, I think that he listened when the captain was like, no, we're not deal with it. He's like, oh, all right. And so he would go try to deal with it. But really until the end,

Fraser was an undermining little prick the entire time. And the fact that he did that on the very last thing with Barbie where he's just like trying to trigger Barbie up to the very last second. What a shithead. But I think it's funny. And I think production was like, he's coming back next season and so are you. So make this work. Like don't make it so that the audience is rooting against the show.

It should be Faye. But then it ends with Captain Carrie. I was like, yeah, it sounded like for a moment because the credits were rolling. And I thought for a moment they were going to give Fraser the final like monologue. I was like, usually they get the captain to find the monologue. So I was worried because I was like, I want to have like, I was like, I want to have a carry monologue and like, and please, please will they work in adventure. And then they did the monologue and he goes, I came here knowing I had big shoes to fill. We had some epic hoes and there was some lows and I'd

rather forget about those lows. Like for instance the time I tried to find a Reebok and Grenada because again like I said I needed big shoes. But it's yachting and I'm grateful for it. Boy that was one hell of a wait for it wait for it adventure! Yes I knew they would do it I knew it. And that brings us to the end of Below Deck. Regular flavor, but still called Adventure. Thanks so much for being with us this season, everybody. We'll be back next week with a little Below Deck Mediterranean, eh?

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