Watch What Crappens - #2443 Summer House S08E15 Part 1: Carlito’s Way

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

This is part oneIt’s the moment we’ve been waiting for: Carl and Lindsay’s inevitable split on Summer House (S08E15).  Carl wants softness, Lindsay wants answers. Now that we’ve collected all the evidence, whose side are you on?  This is a two-part recap!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, I need my feeder! Who cares what happens when this Oh, Watch What Crappins! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hey Ronnie, how's it going? Oh hey, how you doing Ben? Good to see you. Hi. I mean just keep going in circles and circles here. So I need some softness and tenderness so if you could deliver

that to me that would be great. That would be great. Not gonna hold my breath. Not gonna lie. You're always a victim, but go ahead. I'm just like trying to figure out like what changed in the past like two weeks that made you wanna talk about circles and circles? Lindsay, I've always been an asshole. Welcome to the big breakup day, guys. It has been breakup season.

I mean, Vanderpump Rules started us with breakups last year and Bravo has just been giving it to us with every single show this year because it was such a ratings bonanza. So let's just keep breaking up with each other, shall we? A year on and we're still getting huge breakup finales. But I've been waiting for this. I need to be held, Ben. It was a big night in my house big night. It was a yeah, this was a huge night This was this was great TV So we are here To recap the season finale of summer house before we dive into that

Normally, we would have a crappens on demand video for all our crap is on demand peeps over on patreon patreon.com Slash watch what happens, but we right now are actually in two different countries. I'm in Germany, Ronnie's in Italy, and the hotel wifi is just not strong enough for both of these personalities on video. So the video component we tried, it just isn't working. So I'm so sorry people, crap is on demand. There's no video this week, the wifi does not support it.

We decided it's better to have clean or cleaner audio than that. So sorry for that. But hopefully the audio should now be better. We're going to find out. So that's what's going on today with today's recording. Um, so we, like he said, we're, we traveled today to start our European vacation. I'm doing an eat, pray, love moment over in Italy. And let me tell you, I understand why people love it here.

I mean, people really are loving. I've heard that they're very romantic and passionate and stuff. I watched some TV shows that take place here. They are very, very passionate, okay? Especially on the mob shows. Even their murders are very passionate. Today, my cab driver brought me here. You know, we didn't know the same languages,

but I pointed and grunted at the Google Maps and we both got it until I got here. And I thought, I wonder if this guy hates me. And he took my bags out of the car. And then he turned to me when he was leaving outside my hotel. And he has these big, he was this big, huge tall guy. And he grabbed my hand with both of his gigantic hands and he squeezed him really hard and he pulled me close to him And he looked me in the eye and he went thank you Got back into his car and he left and I was like that is the most romantic shit that's happened to me Literally in years. I almost fell down to the ground and started crying. I was Wow Wow and you know what? I wound up in an actual fight with drunk Germans on a train today

Okay, so I came here to Germany and I met up with our friends Michelle and Lauren who were in Dublin with us and Michelle is here in In Germany with her husband her husband's on sabbatical this year, so her husband and her two super sweet, adorable little daughters were like 10 and seven. So cute. So I landed in Germany. They picked me up in Cologne. We toured all around Cologne.

It was wonderful. And then it was time to hop on the train to go down to Bonn, which is where we're actually all staying. So we get on the train and I see these two drunkies. It's like a lady, a lady who I'm trying to, it's like imagine like everyone's school principal but like German and drunk. So she's, she's, she's like staggering onto this train along with this guy. So these like, I don't know, they're probably about like, they're probably about like 52 or something like that. Like way too old to be this drunk in public. I'm

sorry. I'm just going to say it. I think that there's, I mean, way too old to be this drunk in public. I'm sorry I'm just gonna say it. I think that there's I mean that again to be fair I'm like if you're over 22 and you're this drunk in public. I'm like stop it. But anyway, they get on so we're all getting on to this train and Michelle's husband Conrad has like kind of tried to kind of reserve This like this area of seats on the train. You know, on like a commuter train right by the door, there's always like four seats that face each other, like two, two and two that face each other, you know? Okay. So he had like tried to reserve this spot for like,

basically we're a party of six. He's like, you know, for his daughters and his wife and then us and these two drunkies, they go and they like sit right down even though the one of the daughters is already right there and one of us is right there and he's like oh I'm saving these seats for my family because this all happens in German and they're like you cannot save seats you cannot save seats on a where was it sure where does it show on the side that you can say it say seats on the train because they're hammered and they're being rude rude as hell and he's like, listen for my family. So we're all coming on and then we're like,

this is like, we're trying to like be in, you know, this is like our section. So finally, like whatever, we'll just sit down and they're like wasted and they have like actually more people in their group who are coming. It's like a bunch of like drunk parents, like they're like all parents, I don't know if they're parents,

but they're parent age, you know, like older parent age and they're drunk and then they're like all parent, I don't know if they're parents, but they're parent age, you know, like older parent age, and they're drunk, and then they start like sitting on each other, and then they topple over onto Michelle's like seven-year-old daughter who's sitting there. Like, so you have adults that are falling over onto a little child. So of course, Michelle and her husband freak out, and are like, what the fuck are you doing? Like get up, there's a child right there, you know? And they're like, oh, shut up up you're a fucking bitch you're a bitch

and the thought this guy it's wild it's crazy the guy turns to Michelle's other daughter and says let me rescue you from your mean father could you even imagine he said this to this ten-year-old my god this girl's crying saw but this is a scary thing it's an adult the other other girl's crying because two drunkies fell over. So they're fighting and everything. But of course, Lauren and I, we don't speak German, so we don't really know what's going on except that these are drunkies and this is bad.

So we get the kids out of there, by we I mean Conrad. I was like, oh my God, I was actually mad at myself that I was not more active in this, but it's like, you're in a foreign country country You don't really know what's going on, you know so so Conrad gets his daughter out of that situation and he takes both and then like that they keep on staring back at us like You know like like fucking beach and it's like it's weird because these were like these are like like these were not like you wouldn't look at them and be like, oh, it's not like Like these were not like you wouldn't look at them and be like, oh, it's not like

Trashy trashy people that you just sort of expect this. These are look like not warm like your neighbors you know like warm nice people or something like that and They're being so rude and drunk and so Connor and makes it makes a comment to us and he says well You know in America you have to be careful because if this were to happen America someone could have a gun and they go You have a gun. He said yes a gun And they think that we're threatening them with a gun now. So now they're like, we're going to call the police. We're going to call the police. So it's like spiraling out of control. And then, so now, and these girls are sobbing, you know, this is so, it's so much scary. It's so tense. So Conrad takes the girls and takes them all the way out. Like this was just a different car on the train, but we're sitting there because it's like there's no seats and so we're just like there he's got them

and you're like listen I hope your girls are okay please take them to the car I choose sitting down okay I will take the fear well because I have my whole bag it would have been like it would have been such a commotion and we're like comrades got them we've got this whatever and then like the like the conductor comes through and they start telling the conductor that we were threatening them with guns and so and this was where it was amazing because these people were such assholes and everyone in the car everyone in the train car started Yelling at those people because everyone saw this Everyone was yelling and saying they're fucked up and all it was actually an amazing moment ultimately, because all of these strangers kind of leapt into action and were like, and they were like, no,

these people are drunk and they were shouting at them like, fuck them, essentially. And they were mortified. They were mortified because they're like, we don't want you to think that, that all Germans are like this, you know, like we don't want you to think this whatsoever. And it actually was like a really wonderful moment. But unfortunately, as adults, we recognize how great of a moment it was. And the conductor apparently said to them,

they said, you get off at the next stop, or I'm calling the police, which was like, whoa. Like it was like total justice. It was great. But you know, the poor girl, like, well, one girl was like, it was amazing, we won. The other one though, was like it was amazing. We won the other one though is like You know sobbing and an adult said something said something so horrifying to her and just as like, you know

What people get it together get it the fucking together. So it was a wild night here in Germany Wow, what a way to start it off. I'm sorry that I just It's not expecting to do like a like a six minute monologue about this crazy fight here in Germany, but or a horror show monologue. No, I didn't mean way to start the episode. I meant way to start your trip in Germany. No, but the people were so nice. And they were just

mortified. They were like, please don't think that we are like this. So damn, I'm glad I chose Italy. Jeez, I'm like having the best time of my life. I ate a pizza. I made a pizza and some guy looked into my eyes and made me a puddle over a taxi drop off. So I don't know. It's never too late to change your mind. Yeah, but I did. Yeah, anyway. I don't know. I should not have. That's good. I know I shouldn't have launched that story only because we have an epic recap to go through. Okay, we've got Summerhouse and we don't need to be talking about drunk assholes on the German trains.

We need to talk about drunk assholes in the Hamptons. Or in this case, sober assholes. We start where we left off last time, which is Karl and Lindsay fighting, because it's always Karl and Lindsay fighting. I mean, look, I'm so glad these two are broken up. I'm so happy. Unfortunately, I don't believe that it's going to last because, like, I mean, I believe they'll stay broken up, but they're going to have talk after talk after talk about it, because this is not Skandival, where you have an Ariana that's like, fuck you, I never want to talk about this again. This is Karl and Lindsay, they will come on here

for 10 years and keep talking about this for the rest of their time. I'm like, hey, you wanna have another talk about it? Why did you treat me like that? I trusted you, I haven't done it in a minute. I mean, they're gonna be doing this for years, but still, they needed to get broken up. I'm glad to see them broken up.

So let's see how it happened. It's a lot, Lindsay, it's a fucking lot. Fair. Veins popping out of his forehead in his marching band uniform. His unexplained end of the world marching band uniform. So he's like, you know you're rolling. I'm doing music mad after the nuclear apocalypse. You're really, really good at playing victim. You don't give a fuck about my

emotions. Carl saying you're really good at playing victim. You don't give a fuck about my emotions. Carl saying you're really good about playing victim when he literally ran to his mom and stepdad to be like, oh, she's mean to me, and literally has spent an entire summer saying, I'm just like really overwhelmed. Like I just went to the monster.com website and they like wanted to know like my social security and it's like, it's a lot.

It's a lot right now I'm going through. Well, unfortunately for Carl, this isn't really going according to the script he's written in his head. And a lot of it's his own fault because he knows Lindsay well enough how to manipulate the situation to get Lindsay to lose her fucking mind and scream, right? And to make her look like the bad guy. And it doesn't take much because Lindsay is the bad guy a lot of the time. So it's not hard to make her look like the bad guy. And it doesn't take much because Lindsay is the bad guy a lot of the time. So it's not hard to make her look like the bad guy. But unfortunately he's also kind of made her go to therapy and she has learned in therapy.

She's like actually paid attention in therapy. I think Lindsay didn't, I think Carl was kind of the one who chose therapy, which means that, uh, it doesn't mean that. But I think that people like Carl, manipulative people, I mean, it's not the first time I've said it, but I believe that manipulative people choose to go to therapy to use as a weapon against other people. They learn how to take that language and manipulate the fuck. It's like they learn how to say fuck you in a completely acceptable way. And I think Carl has done that.

Lindsay, on the other hand, has actually learned stuff from therapy and anybody who's seen all these seasons of this show, whether you love or hate Lindsay, you have to admit the therapy has been working because normally Lindsay would be stabbing this man in the throat. Like the fact that this man is still alive

after talking like this an entire season and the fact that she's so calm and just like, what are you talking about being the victim? I'm literally just asking you questions. Like, oh, how dare you treat me like that? Always the victim, you little Lindsay. I'm like, you're the one crying like a little bitch in your fucking marching band costume. Be quiet, dude. Yeah. Sergeant Radke's Lonely Heart Club's band.

But you know, the thing is that with Lindsay is that, on some level, I do understand when Carl's like, I'm excited about something, a job opportunity came my way, and I just kind of want to live in that excitement. And I get it. Sometimes something exciting happens. Oh my god, I just realized I got this thing. And the last it. Sometimes something exciting happens. Like, oh my God, I just realized I got this thing. And the last thing you want is a freaking Eeyore being like,

but did you think about the environmental impact or whatever? Sometimes you just want to live in the happy space. I get it. But I think what I have to infer, and I'm doing this because I feel like it's there, is that she, I feel like Lindsay was in that space. I feel like that's what we saw her doing all last season. But at a certain point, you can only cheerlead blindly for so long before you're like, oh great, it's another thing I have to cheerlead that's not gonna go anywhere.

I think I'm done doing this. I think I wanna start asking some harder questions because otherwise I'm just cheering on his own inactivity. Well, I think wanting some recognition for something that you did is valid. You know, I think being like, Hey, look, I've come up with this thing. I'm super excited about pursuing this thing. I'm really into it. And I just want your support instead of your negativity.

But he hasn't done that. I mean, Carl is like the ultimate and wanting a participation trophy. You know what I mean? He's like done nothing. What have you done, dude? And he's going to list it in just a minute. So we'll get to hear what his idea of having done something is. But from what we've seen... Yeah, thank you.

What he wants a hug for is Kyle saying, hey, but I don't want to come back and sell some non-alc. That's not doing anything. You didn't come up with non-alc. You didn't come up with non-alch. Kyle didn't come up with non-alch either, by the way. That business is tanking. And you spent $20,000 for therapy to get over the trauma that you used Lindsay as a weapon against last year.

Don't forget that this guy took Lindsay and was like, Kyle is so mean to me. Kyle's abusive. Kyle twists every little thing I say and uses it against me. Kyle is weaponizing blob. He's, he's using all the exact same tactics he's using against Lindsay last season against Kyle. And then they spend all this money and he goes to therapy so that he can get over

the trauma. And then after coming up with nothing to do after a whole fucking year, he's offered the simplest road out and says, yes, and then he wants a fucking fireworks show. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. So, it's like, I'm just asking questions. Are they harsh questions?

Yes, but she's asking them. So, she's like, you know what? I'm gonna enjoy this party. They're not. What's harsh about saying, the questions are not harsh. You know what she's making. You know, like, I will say this,

her tone is definitely like, you know, her tone is like, oh, you know what, did you ask about this? Because you should probably ask about that. Her tone is like, did you ask about this? Like one would say, like one could say that it's nagging, but I'm actually not going to say that because I feel like that has sexist undertones. And the truth is we never question men's tones when they ask questions like this. So I feel like, you know, I feel like that's what Carl is getting at. It's like your tone. I don't like your tone when you speak to me. But the truth

is this, men don't get clocked on that and women do get clocked on their tone. And so... Well, I'm not even going, I mean, and I understand what you're saying. I'm not disagreeing with it, but I'm not even going with the sexism thing. I'm going with the flat out, she's not nagging you. Like she's literally saying, how much money are you making? Did you ask how much you're gonna get in your 401k? I mean, he's like oh my god, I just need softness and tenderness You don't get a fucking award for walking around the block dude run at least go at a brisk pace You know what I mean? I think when he says I need softness and tenderness I think on some level he is trying to in a very polite not polite a very PC way

Try to say stop nagging me, stop being a nag. I think that's kind of at the core of it to some degree. And so I get, he's like, when I say I get it, it doesn't mean I approve. I'm just saying I can see what he's trying to say here. I'm coming up with this thing and you're like, nagging me. But you deserve to be, if it is nagging, you deserve to be nagged. And it's not nagging though. It's just her being like, I'm sick of this.

I'm sick. It's always a new idea. And it's always a cockamamie idea that's not well researched. And sure, shoot for the stars, but put some research into it. You don't do that. So now I have to start asking you questions because we're about to get married. It's one thing if we're casually dating, but we're about to get married. And, you know, we're about to start a family. And you're still coming up with acting like an 18 year old

thinking about what they're gonna fill in the blank on for a college application. And he's taking something that's a factual conversation. This is a business conversation. So this is like, we agreed that by the end of the summer, you're gonna have a plan. It's the end of the summer, it's the final episode, it's the final party. So this is the scene where you sit down and you come up with your plan.

And your plan is you don't give me enough emotional support in not coming up with a plan because he doesn't have anything. So he's going to try arguing emotions. It's like a little kid thing. It's like, you're mean to me. Did you clean your room? You're mean to me You know clean your fucking room. You're mean he's mean You know It's like a child trying to turn something emotional because you didn't do the other work and you have nothing else to fucking rely on Dude, you're in your 40s and make it happen Carl Come on and like like even just something stupid just what he could even like buy some time if he says, you know

What I've decided to hire a headhunter who is going to find me some leads You know and I'm gonna pursue it from there like just something like that would probably make Lindsey happy like I've submitted my resume I've given it to a service They're gonna find some positions for me and we're gonna see where it goes try to get something to pay the bills She probably just wants to hear that. Like, you don't have to have your career figured out. Just your paycheck. Yeah, just make some kind of effort.

So then Danielle and Lindsay are talking, and Danielle's asking her if she is okay, and she's like, he wants me to be someone I'm not, and it's embarrassing. Like, he wants me to be soft and tender, and wait for it, wait and tender and wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

He wants me to give him hugs. And Danielle's like, hugs, oh my God. Danielle's like falling on the ground. She's like, who does he think you are? Hugs, Lindsey, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Remember the time, remember the time you went to hug class and you end up kicking someone in the nose?

You just get, you're incapable. Carl's trauma is not getting love and tenderness and Lindsay's trauma is being expected to give hugs. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon,

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Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcast. So she's like, it's cyclical. It's like zirls and zirls and zirls and zirls and zirls. And Danielle's like, yeah, by the way, you're soft in so many beautiful ways. Like I love the soft way you can stare at someone and make them feel like they have just died. I love that. She's like, you are soft in so many ways, Lindsay.

You moisturize, eh? You use fabric softener, which is nice. Your clothes always smell really good. They feel soft. See, you have a really good duvet. I really love your duvet. When I press your skin, it presses in further than the cardboard version of you, so that's automatically softer. So there's that.

You're definitely softer than the cardboard version of you in your living room. So that's good. So she's Danielle's like, well, I've been biting my tongue, but at the same time, like you want something out of him that he's not providing and he's putting that burden on you and like that's fucking not fair. And she's like, yeah, I'm fucking done coddling. Like this man is a 10 months of chilling at home and like trying to think what he wants to fucking do. Like I don't have a coddle left to me the car was gone there's no coddle the coddle has disappeared coddle has left the building I know that all hi guys what you do with my coddle where is

it I lost my coddle tags so outside I So outside, Carl's talking to someone. I'm sorry, we are out of coddle. Sorry, was that a Wi-Fi issue there? Yeah, we guys, sorry. Just so you know, we still have a little bit of a Wi-Fi issue. If it sounds like Ben and I are breaking up and talking over each other too much, it's because we have a shitty Wi-Fi connection. So, sorry, but we really did not want to put this recap off. So Carl goes out and talks to some guy who's supposedly his friend,

I don't believe it, but he's like, are you okay Carl? And Carl's like, oh, I mean, I'll be all right. You know what's tough? Relationships. Oh, for fuck's sake. You know what? Not drinking doesn't give you an excuse to just be the most boring fucking person on the planet. It's a finale party. Nobody wants to hear about your fucking relationship. Okay, go play some some non-alch-pong For fuck's sake do something but by the way, you know, what's I actually you know what I'm gonna say Maybe I speak for a place of privilege. You know, what's not tough? Relationships relationships are not sorry. The bad relationship is tough. I think a good relationship not tough Sure, there may be, things may happen,

there may be little bumps in the road, but I would never qualify it as tough. Tough is like a shitty, shitty relationship. That is tough. So stop being, stop trying to like put a spin on it, like y'all, all the way to all the relationships, oh, they're just tough, they're inherently tough. No, no, they're not.

Well, I have to say that's actually so lovely to hear from you because you're in a good relationship. I do not hear that often actually. Well, that's cause people are bad relationships. But yeah. And I think that people don't really understand that it shouldn't be tough. Like if it's constantly tough and it's constant strife and constant, you know, making yourself do it or trying to talk each other into it or this constant, like they take a lot of work.

So every single day we're going to sit here and we're going to work through every single, then maybe you just don't need to be together, you know? Like some things you should, some things shouldn't take that much work. Like this is supposed to be enjoyable, you know? Yeah, it should be. And I think that people like convince themselves that it is good. It's like, it is really, really hard, but it's worth it because it's so good.

Like, it's like what you go through with hazing, you know? Like you're bonded through difficulty. But I don't think there should be hazing in a relationship. I think, like generally hazing's actually really not good anytime, to be honest. So, yeah, I mean I- Well, you shouldn't have not good anytime to be honest. So yeah. I mean I. You shouldn't have to train somebody to do it.

And I feel like sometimes people talk about relationships like oh my god you know, sorry guys I'm sneezing in your face because I'm talking romantically. But when people are saying things like you know he's just when it's good it's good and it's so good and I can't get enough but then when it's bad it's's good, and it's so good, and I can't get enough, but then when it's bad, it's so terrible, and it sounds like drug addiction. It sounds like addiction language.

It sounds like L.A. traffic, okay? You don't need your relationship to sell. You know what you eventually have to do with addictions? You have to quit them. There's no middle ground with that. There's no time that you're like, you know what? I finally worked out my addiction to cocaine, where sometimes I can enjoy it.

And then other times I'm just happy having it in my drawer. That's just not how it works, you know what I mean? So if you're in a relationship like that, don't be in it, run. And also stay out of LA traffic. Relationships, I mean relationships take work in the sense that like you have to think of someone else and like that is like that inherently is work, right? But it shouldn't be hard work. It should be like, it should just be, you know, it's what you do. You step outside of yourself.

So anyway, I just don't like this thing of like, well, you know, relationships are work, but we love each other. It's like yeah, no you're in a shitty relationship Sorry, and you know again, I understand I speak as my friend calls it love privilege, but Like that being said like if the alternative is like Carl and Lindsay well, then you know by gosh So meanwhile Jesse's flirting with a girl and he's talking about how now that he's cancer-free He can do things like make plans and know that he can do them So I guess in the case of Jesse He can make plans to see someone and then never see them again and know that he'll never have to see them again Because now I mean go back to doing that You know Jesse has this certain charm about well first of all he's got tall privilege, so let's never forget that he's really good-looking

He's got a huge smile. He's got a pez dispenser as a face. I mean, the man has a smile ear to ear. He's very cute and charming, et cetera, et cetera. He's really a slimeball whenever they show him talking to women, don't you think? I like him. I like him in his confessionals and I like him on the show, but whenever they show him talking to one of these randos at a party, he's so gross. Like this one, he's like, what are you like two feet tall? I'm going to sit down just so I can be more on your level. Like I'm closer to you sitting like this and I am standing up there. It's crazy. God damn, you're short. And then the last one, he's like, show me your boobs. Yeah. And then like another girl walks up to him while he's actively flirting on the

first girl. Cause the second girl was someone he was flirting with earlier like he's gonna like it's he is gonna get a bad at it Maybe next season the season after but like the other shoe is gonna drop. Okay And then speaking of shoes dropping we have West and Sierra. They're kissing. They're dancing West somehow wound up with a they're kissing, they're dancing. West somehow wound up with a giant profile in the New York Times. It may have even been the New York Times Magazine. I don't even know. I love West. I think that West is a great addition. The New York Times is so- I do not trust West still. Sorry, I just had to get that in there. I just don't know how this happened. This is wild that West wound up in the New York Times. New York Times is usually behind on these things, but sometimes they,

they do profile the things that we love, but it was so bizarre. I was like, is this real? Was this Photoshop? And it's like, no, West was really in the New York Times, profiled for just being West's wild. The wild wild West. So there he's guessing with what it is. Did you read it? I haven't read it. I started reading some of it and it was literally, it was just like, look at this guy, he's great. It was just that. It was basically like Bravo was like,

hey, the Summer House finale is coming up. Let's place this story in the New York Times to promote it. So West and C.R.R.K. is singing. Hey, thanks for reading the New York Times. Television show has cast a handsome, charming person. Okay, we'll have 10 pages on that coming up. Be sure to pay for your subscription. Okay. I mean, it is news. It is kind of noteworthy that this show took eight years to cast a memorable

male, right? Since, since the initial cast of Kyle and Carl, right? This is not a single memorable male in eight years. They got two this time. That is true. a single memorable male in eight years. They got two this year. That is true. Okay, so then we go over to Carl. So Carl's just upset and he's moping and he's stomping all around the house

and nobody's giving him attention and running to him and saying, hey Carl, what's wrong Carl? What's wrong Carl? Carl, because you're fucking moping every goddamn weekend, okay? So he's like, you know, I just don't bounce back like Lindsay does.

I mean, look at Lindsay, she's just partying now, drinking the night away, no problem. Oh God, so now here we go, Carl. Lindsay gets to drink and I don't get to drink. Lindsay's a damn alcoholic, but I have to sit here with my emotions. Carl, you're like Drew Barrymore getting mad that there's fires all around you.

You know, stop starting the fires, Drew Barrymore. Stop starting the fires, ma'am. Well, also, like you can't do this whole thing of like, oh, Lindsey bounces back. Like the implication is that like, she just doesn't care enough like I do. She just bounces back, but it sits with me. But then you can't tell a story later in the episode about how Lindsey was sitting with this with so much anger that she shattered a bunch of water bottles in the backseat of your Kia. So is it that she holds onto things for too long or is that she doesn't hold onto them enough? What is

it? So meanwhile, and by the way, this is like the best literally he's like, she never holds onto things. That's why she spills glass all over my backseat. She broke a whole bunch of premium smart waters, like in the glass. And he's like, fear, anxiousness, is one of the loneliest moments I've ever had in this house right now. Then stop starting fights, you fucking loser. Get a job, Carl, and then we can talk about your job.

You know what I mean? Stop talking about all these jobs you don't have and wanting approval for them. Do something worthy of approval, Carl, and stop asking for invisible medals. He's also totally that guy. This is like the most epic party they've ever thrown on the show. This was wild. They had like this giant like metal cat thing. There was someone breathing fire. This party looked insane.

It looked like Burning Man or Coachella or some. I don't know. It was wild. And of course, everyone's having a great time except for Carl moping around just because Lindsey asked him about a job like are you gonna get a job? Did you ask these questions? so he's moping around little ringmaster lost from the circus and everyone else is having a great time and Paige and Sierra and Amanda are talking. They're just like really proud of West for throwing a great party. And they're like, I mean, they're so impressed by this party that Amanda's like,

yeah, I decided to be nice to his friends because I think that West is gonna be around. I think like we finally have a guy who's gonna be on this show for more than one season. So I'm gonna make an effort with his friends. Yeah, I wouldn't waste your time. This guy's just like sitting there waiting for all the hot girls that are gonna be coming

onto him at the bar. I said it in episode three, and I stand by it. Yeah. So also I know I'm right, because I saw the clips of the preview. Yeah, there's that too. So Carl's moping around. Meanwhile, speaking of really too. So, Carl's moping around. Meanwhile, speaking of really sad things happening,

Danielle's back with balloon guy Joe. Oh my God. I know. I just wanna, you know, Danielle's not my favorite, but she's also like, I feel bad for her. I mean, I say that a lot. Like, I like her as a person, I think. I just think she's just so misguided and I don't know,

so sad. She's sad. And every time I see her with the balloon guy, I think I just think she's just so misguided and I don't know so sad And every time I see her with the balloon guy, I'm just like wow Please she was a mesh up to her balloon guy Like what more of a call of help call for help do you need? I mean your friend is over there fucking a guy who twists balloons into animal shapes someone help her How dare you he makes balloon arches How dare you he makes balloon arches So then some random blonde girl goes up to Carl and goes love your jacket you look like Michael Jackson He goes. Oh, thank you. Is that what you were going for?

No, I'm clearly a Bad I'm clearly babes in toil and at the end of the world. Ha clearly babes in Toyland at the end of the world. Ha. Carl's such a dick to this girl too. She was just trying to be nice to him. She's like, is that me or a lying bar? And he's like, oh, no. So then party party and Paige is making an announcement.

She's like, guys, we had so much fun with you. Thank you so much for coming. I'm not moving to any of your hometowns or having babies with you probably ever, but have fun wasting your 40s. Oh, I'm sorry. to any of your hometowns or having babies with you probably ever, but have fun wasting your 40s Oh, i'm sorry. That was for craig. I hope someone had that hooked up to his voicemail. No, okay. Get the fuck out Go home. They don't seem to be leaving. Oh wait, here's an idea Everyone thanks for coming

There's a sale on old navy. It starts right now. Look, they're already running out. Look at them. Just going Just fleeing for the gates. Oh, so Kyle's like, I love an abrupt ending. So then Danielle goes for her happy ending to fuck balloon die in the bathroom. Perhaps also an abrupt ending. And then Kyle and Carl are talking outside and Kyle's like, oh man, you motherfuckers, what was that about? Well, before the party started, we were talking about my conversation with you. And I was trying to give her a download of it.

That was some corporate talk. She liked that. I'm like ready to get into the workforce. And she was asking question after question about that, really trying to open the kimono, as they say, more business law, no jargon. Yeah. And I don't need that. OK. It's just been like a lot of shit in my life. And as I've, more business blood, nah, jargon, y'all. And I don't need that, okay? It's just been like a lot of shit in my life, and as I've grown into my sobriety, I don't think that she's embraced the notion that it's like hard at times, and like, I'm that

way with her, like around her, like, I'm like gentle with her abandonment issues, I'm like very understanding, and I try to remind her of how proud I am of her. Yeah, like I'm really sensitive about her abandonment issues which is why like I literally abandoned her suitcase last weekend when I got mad at her. For a second I got mad at her. Yeah, so I'm like really good. I don't understand like why she can't be sensitive about my sobriety and not ask me questions about a job.

How do those things have anything to do with each other, Carl? Okay, congratulations on being sober. Guess what happened when you were not sober and what's happening when you are sober? You don't have a job. Carl, you can't keep a job. You've never been able to keep a job.

Let's stop acting like this is something new and now you get a pass for it because you've done something good for yourself outside of the workspace. This does not work. Those two things don't have anything in common. Congratulations on sobriety, non-congratulations on not doing anything professionally. Get a job, Carl. Stop running around and get a job.

Also, don't give yourself a pat on the back for being sensitive to Lindsay's abandonment issues while you are simultaneously failing to see how her wanting you to be serious about your job is clearly a direct outcome of her abandonment issues. You know, in my mind, the way I see it is that like, as he kind of like dithers about like maybe I want to do this, maybe I want that, that is not giving her a sense of security in this relationship. Like the indecisiveness about his career translates very easily to a sense of indecisiveness about

this relationship. It also means that you're not really being serious. She wants to start a family and you have someone who's not even really taking the steps and doing the work to make sure that there's a paycheck so that way she can raise the child as she has expressed that she wants to and that can be a secure environment. This is someone who yearns for security and that's what she's asking for. And then you're gonna proudly say how you respect her abandonment issues

when you're directly doing everything to undermine them. So this next part is pretty shitty. So he's like, you know, I'm really understanding about her abandonment issues and I try to remind her of how proud I am, of how she's not, I don't know what that means, how proud I am of her you know, like how she's not like, I mean, I don't know what that means. Like how proud I am of her, like, not crying about being abandoned every day. How proud I am that she didn't get abandoned today.

You did a great job today. You didn't get abandoned. Yeah, I'm so proud of you for not getting abandoned. I'm so proud. Today, really good job. I do such a good job with her abandonment issues. So it's gonna be really terrible when I abandon her at the end of the episode.

Oh, that's so dark. That's so dark. So Kyle's like,, what do you think? You think she doesn't reciprocate? She is, I think. He's like, she uses this as an excuse. Oh yeah, they're sensitive Carl. Look how sensitive Carl is

with Lindsay's abandonment issues, everybody. She uses being abandoned as an excuse. Like, she's so strong. Like, she got through everything in her life, so I need to do it too. Like we're just different how we navigate our traumas. Carl, Carl, Carl. Trauma talk, I mean therapy talk.

But also trauma talk. Girl. I do like someone who cares about how they make someone else feel, you know? And I don't think that she does understand how she makes me feel or other people in her life, you know? And you know exactly what I'm talking about. Exactly, because she's always justified in her feelings.

Really, because she's not justifying her feelings right now. She's just, she's not even talking about any feelings that she's having. She's just saying, why is Carl yelling at me instead of getting a job? That's her feeling. Yeah, Carl's like, well, there we go over there.

So now meanwhile, inside, everyone's having just the best time. Everyone's just like, literally the entire cast has like crawled into this bed. They're doing a cuddle puddle. They're just having so much fun. It's like, wow, this season's been wonderful because they just all love being around each other. They are laughing. They are joking.

There's such a great vibe. Everyone's having a great time, except for Carl and Lindsay, of course, and Danielle too, but Danielle just, you know, she just had a balloon guy moment. So she's kind of on the come down from that. But of course, Carl and Lindsay are, you know, the gray cloud on this otherwise super fun night. Okay. So let's get frustrated with another man and go to West and Sierra in bed.

So he's like, you called me baby earlier today. I don't know if you caught that. She's yeah, because you were dripping water all over the thing. So I was like, baby, stop. He goes, but yeah, but don't downgrade me from being called something. Like you call me baby. So say you meant to call me baby. She's like, are you a pet name type of person? He's like, yeah, like baby, I call friends baby.

She goes, ugh, of course you do. He's like, it's weird though. I mean, if I said love you downstairs, people would be like, wait, what? But if I said to Kyle, like no, like bling, it's just like, that's just like a real thing. It's like not bad. Yeah, he's like, I mean, I just don't get it.

Like if I said I love you to you, people would freak out, but I can say I love you to Kyle. She's like, yeah, it's called intention. Yeah. She's like, if you, you know, you act like nothing's a big deal. So I can't really figure out what is significant to you, you know, because nothing's a big deal. So like, it's not a big deal to meet your family. It's not a big deal for you to say I love you. It's not a big deal to meet your family. It's not a big deal for you to say I

love you. It's not a big deal to use a pet name or say baby. And he's like, wait, but aren't I saying that it is a big deal by saying that it's not a big deal? Oh my god. Did they just find this fucking non committal piece of shit at the same school they found everybody else at? Like what do they have an audition for emotionally fucked, unstable Peter Pan's on this network? How do they find so many?

I know. Well, you can read the New York Times article to find out how we came into it. So Sierra, I love, Sierra's just having a great season. I feel like Sierra, something has happened with Sierra. I don't know if it's that she's come out of her shell or she's sort of like grown, not grown up, that makes it seem like she was immature,

but she's sort of become wiser, or maybe both. But she just, I love how she's really seeing this situation so clearly. And she's like, yeah, but like, you're saying I call my friends that so it's no big deal, so why wouldn't I call you that? She's basically saying, you are just, like it just, like you are- you're

making me not feel like I- I- like this is anything serious. You're just a fuckboy. I'm seeing that you're just a fuckboy right now. Yeah. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid.

It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly. On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a b****. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds.

So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Carl and Lindsay get into bed and Lindsay is just, he just keeps looking over at Lindsay and she's, it looks like she's staring off into space, but I can't tell if she's asleep because it's in the dark cam.

That's when she sleeps. I'm sure this is how they always go to bed You know with one of them pissed off like they don't believe in that don't go to bed angry, you know They're always going to bed angry. Yeah, um, please break up. They also um, They also love waking up angry and they wake up and of course, this is their conversation morning morning How'd you sleep? Good.

Like, okay, you guys are doing great. Doing great, guys. I know this is like temporary. So, sorry, I was taking a big, huge gulp of water. Yeah, she's like, I know it's temporary and we're not always gonna be planning a wedding and Carl's not always gonna be with another job. Okay, stop right there.

Yes, he is. Carl is literally always gonna be without a job. Okay, stop right there. Yes he is. Carl is literally always gonna be without a job. You can pretty much put your money on that. And the ebbs and flows of how a partnership works, I'm aware of and I'm patient, but it's also exhausting. I wouldn't call Lindsay patient, but that's, you know. But that's okay. She's more patient than she would have been, you know, five seasons ago.

So anyway, there's some talk about like West being excited that football season starting and he has these visions of watching it with Sierra and his pals and watching the chiefs. And then everyone gathers to have fun in the pool cause they're having fun. They love each other. Fun. This is a time for fun. Except for Lindsay and Carl so Lindsay's in the kitchen

Lindsay is rage-cleaning. She is pouring out cans and just like scowling and angry and she's like this place is a disaster And Carl like even this but this drove me nuts right here when he said this she's like this place is a disaster He goes y'all but it's like been worse though before so like Can you just like, does nothing to help her by the way. He just sits there and watches her. He's like, oh, what are you complaining about? It's been worse. So I'm like, this guy can't even let her have a messy kitchen moment, a declaration of messiness because it's Carl. Carl is going to do whatever he can to get the reaction from Lindsay that he's been trying to get all weekend. Cause it's a

finale party. And if he's going to break up with her, he's going to need a huge reaction from Lindsay. So no matter what happens, Lindsay starts it okay. She doesn't start a fight in bed. So then she comes and starts cleaning up and he's still going to just sit there, watch her clean, not help her at all, criticize her and then start poking her. This guy's such a piece of shit. So she's like, how was your run? He's like, Oh, much needed. So much needed. I listened to a song called softness and tenderness

and really helped. So it's really good. Actually, Elvis Presley played that over and over again. Love me tender. Love me Tender, Love Me True, Wise Lindsay, Making Me Blue, constantly all the time. Guess what that song doesn't have in it? Questions, okay, not one question. Tender love. So then Lindsay is, so Carl's like, so what are you thinking about going to Montauk

because there's a band called Arizona there and I wanna go see Montauk and I wanna go to Montauk. She's like, personally, I don't wanna go to Montauk she's like um personally I don't want to go to Montauk it's like not really in the cards for me and he's like yeah huh well yesterday was not great and I tried to share how I'm feeling emotionally about this queer stuff and some things that I've been hoping and feeling I could get and I feel like it just gets turned around on me like after our conversation yesterday I like could not snap out of it.

After you were like, did you get a job yet? And I was like, stop saying the J word, it's too much. I'm overwhelmed right now. It's like it was turned around on me. And he's like, yeah, I can snap out of it. And she says, I could tell Carl because you literally walked around the party. Like she didn't say anything,

but Carl literally stopped around that party from person to person person having a party. I know. She's like, yeah Carl, I could tell. And he's like, um, that's probably the worst time I've ever had in the history of going to a party. Oh, well, really? Cause I can name like five that were worse.

Thanks. Thanks, Carl. We'll be sure to alert the Guinness Book of World Records. Worst, worst time ever in the history of parties. So she's- No one made you a banner for getting offered the easiest fucking gig in the world by the person you just accused of being

an emotional terrorist to you last year. Okay, okay. She's like, well, what you're looking for in the discussions running your career is just like not realistic. I ask a lot of follow up questions based off of the nature of who I am as a person who I have always been as a person. Please hear or as

a box set of DVDs of seasons 1 through 7. And she's like and you say you don't want to hear my advice or questions and he's like well I do but I want something different and I need something different than the coaching and the questioning. Okay. I do not like coaching. I need to get that down right now because I'm going to prove how much I hate coaching the rest of this episode. You got it? And I don't like questioning.

I don't want that my wife or fiance. I don't want that. And I don't think I signed up for that. So don't do that. All right. Now I hate questioning. I hate coaching. So let me coach you how to talk to me for the rest of this scene.

Yeah, so just in summary, what I'm trying to say is I'm sensitive about your abandonment issues, but I would also like to say in this process, I would like to abandon you and figure it out myself. Thank you. So she's like, um, that's rude, Carl. That is very rude. And I'm just pointing out that you're being very rude. Okay, well, thanks about okay. Oh, thanks, but my intention is not to be rude. It's to poke at you and make you yell while you're cleaning up and I'm sitting here. She's like, okay, then please don't make little digs like that. But Lindsay, I want to love her. I want intimacy. A partner is about caring.

A partner cares about how I feel. And you need to really make me feel better, because I do that for you. By the way, I hate coaching. So let me just tell you how to really make me feel better because I do that for you. By the way, I hate coaching. So let me just tell you how to be a partner. You need to make me feel better because that's what partners do. Okay, so now you're the partner coach. We're not doing that again.

Those are fighting words and if you talk to me in that tone anymore. You're making fighting words. I have already pulled. You're making fighting words. You are, you are, you are. Carl, Carl, Carl. You are. I are, you are. Carl, Carl, Carl. You are, you are.

I have already pulled this paper towel, this selective size paper towel out to eat selective sizes. She did too. It was like, did you notice she had like the roll like in the right, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was out like Jesus on the cross with a roll on one side and seven squares across the, all across the way. She was. She was like, I'm staying calm right now, but I'm killing 97 trees.

She was selecting squares. I mean, you, you have never seen someone select square select a size on a paper towel the way Lindsay was when she was rage selecting a size. So he's saying, I support you and you don't support me. So she's like, those are fighting words, Carl. Do not make me kill these paper towels. And he's like, you're making fighting words because of the language you use.

And like, when you receive me talking about the things I'm being honest about, I'm not fighting. I'm trying to communicate. But you shut it down by saying I'm fighting and it's bullshit, it's absolute bullshit. Carl, you're fighting and you're trying to make her mad and it's not working. And so now you're gonna start to spin out of control

just so she'll amp up, and it's still not gonna work. You dummy. I tried though. So when he says, I'm not fighting, that's equivalent of saying, why are you mad? So then she just does it. Excuse me, does it to him. She's like, well, why are you getting so angry now?

I'm not joking. He's like, because you shut shit down, Lindsey. And she's like, I'm trying to understand what your names are, Carl. He's like, I'm telling you, you're not listening. So Kyle comes inside, he's like, I have a problem. So he's, of course, listening and pretending. He's like, I'm going to get a cord and I'm going to roll it up because I'm a DJ now.

I don't know what DJs do. I'm just going to listen to this conversation. I have a mullet get a cord and I'm gonna roll it up because I'm a DJ now. That's what DJs do. I'm just gonna listen to this conversation. I have a mullet and a cord. All right, for hire, for hire. I'm choking over here. You have to keep on talking. I'm gotta get a cough drop, excuse me. Okay, so Carl and Lindsey continue fighting

while little mullet just kind of like hovers with a cord. And Carl's like, oh, Lindsey, do you trust that I'm gonna figure this career thing out on my own? She goes, of course I do. Do you trust the longevity of my opportunities as a career person and what I could bring for my family? Do you trust that I could be successful? Carl, do I believe in the tooth fairy?

Do I believe in fucking Santa Claus? No, Carl, because people keep telling me they're there but there's literally no proof. There's only so long that I'm gonna get one single fucking quarter under my pillow before I'm like who is this bitch and why isn't she giving me a raise and why does every fucking quarter smell like menthol cigarettes and franzia and have a tiny little bit of a lipstick smear? Because it's my mother, Carl. Okay, it's my mother who's the two-spir. You haven't done anything, Carl. You haven't done anything to instill this belief into anybody else. It's not a religion. Yeah. If someone who has been fired from like a job

after job after job comes up to me and then it's like, do you believe that I can just like be successful at anything I do I'd be like You could be successful, but we have to see you sort of like we have to see what? You know a professional Carl looks like okay. You can't just like say you're gonna be successful just blindly Yeah, do you trust that I can be successful if you got off the couch Carl have you what have Carl? Please make a list. And I know you will in just a moment. You can't even clean the kitchen. You can't even take the initiative to clean the kitchen. You're literally sitting there watching her clean the kitchen.

So she says basically what you did. She's like, well, I think that you could be successful at a lot of different things. He goes, oh, whoa, whoa, emphasis on could. Yeah, Carl, because you're not successful. Sorry. Does that hurt your feelings? It's not a feelings thing. You're not doing anything, Carl. You've never done anything. Do something, Carl. You're not even successful at being on this show. You've done nothing on this show either.

I mean, what the hell? Granted, you're giving an attempt right now to keep your ass on this show because you know you have nothing else after. But what do you do? I can't believe that he literally asked do you think I? could be successful and You know and when she says I think you could be successful at something basically saying if you applied yourself And he's like no your answer should be yes, babe. You're a fucking rock star. You're awesome Could you imagine could you imagine like? That's just all you want to that's that's just the response you want to hear when you haven't even earned that. You have not earned, like, maybe he earns you're awesome.

Like, you know, you want your fiance to say you're awesome. But like, you just can't get it just because you've decided you want it. Like, just because you decided to write a resume doesn't mean that you are all of a sudden entitled to like, being- Participation trophy. That's what he wants.

He wants a fucking wall of ribbons for just showing up. And you're not even showing up, Carl. So, and the thing that's so funny is his wording was, do you trust that I can be successful? And she goes, I think that you could be successful. Could? I was like, yes, Carl, that's a variant of can. It's literally the question you asked.

She's giving you an affirmative action to the question you asked. Yeah's giving you an affirmative action to the question you asked. An affirmative response. Sorry. I'm like, Carl, Lindsay's giving you affirmative action, Carl. Take it. Well, uh, well, well, we're just not understanding each other. We're just like two ships passing in the night and I just like don't know how to get a light. Hold on. I just got a text. Oh, man, I just got fired from the ship well

Turns out I didn't have the licensing to be captaining that ship. So got fired from that but please Trust that I'm a captain you do trust that I'm a captain, right? Yeah, it's like you yeah, you are two ships passing the night But I feel like her ship is blaring its foghorn at you. You're not getting out of the way. So he's like, No, you know, you're not championing me. Okay, you're not championing me. I just want you to say yes, babe. You're a fucking rock star. You're awesome. And Kyle's listening to this, you know, and Lindsay is just looking at him like, Are you fucking crazy? this, you know, and Lindsay's just looking at him like, are you fucking crazy? So he goes, yeah, I'm just like growingly concerned that we cannot resolve our conflict. We literally cannot do it. Now, again, he's saying lines in a fight that's not happening because she's not fighting with him. He's coming up with all of this stuff that she's saying and she's not saying any of it. So she's

just like, what, what are you saying? And he's like, before we get married, we have serious things that we need to iron out. Carl, again, you're suggesting that you would iron. I don't even believe that you would iron, Carl. Yeah, and so she's like, well, what are you saying? You don't wanna get married? Which, by the way, he does not wanna get married, which also, by the way, if he doesn't wanna get married, then he's totally entitled to that,

but he doesn't wanna get married. And so instead of saying, I think that we need to rethink this, he goes, well, I didn't say that so she's like All right. Well, you're beating around the bush again right now. Well, it's just a resolution of conflict Just like never going to go away. It's like scary. It scares the shit out of me. It really does I'm just like being honest. I'm being really honest and I definitely started having second thoughts about you know stuff I'm so okay. So you're having the second thoughts about stuff, but you don't want to call off the wedding. So which one is it? Which one is it? No, he wants her to call off. He's trying his best because as we find out later,

if he's afraid that if he calls out the wedding, he's going to be canceled. Like, and I love, I love that it's the stuff that we've been suspecting all season, but Carl is just so fucking transparent. He just comes out and says it. Like, oh great, now I had to break up with her, now I'm gonna get canceled. Fucking Carl. So yeah, he's trying to get her to break up with him so he doesn't get canceled.

So he's like, yeah, I'm gonna have second thoughts. And she's like, okay, well, now maybe that's a bigger conversation if you're having second thoughts. He's like, well, I'm committed to trying to work on stuff. You know, I'm just expressing how I'm feeling in this moment. Stop hitting me, Lindsey. Stop hitting me. And she's like, no, I'm committed to trying to work on stuff. You know, I'm just expressing how I'm feeling in this moment. Stop hitting me, Lindsay.

Stop hitting me. And she's like, no, I hear you loud and clear. And he's like, well, today was our engagement anniversary. Feels off how we're dealing with this, you know? That was a year ago where we had People Magazine hiding in a bush and we were pretending that we were shocked when you gave me that ring that you purchased with all your own money. That was amazing. And then we get a flashback. Ha, Lindsay, they all hovered.

Ha, will you marry me? Oh, thousand times yes! So, Lindsay's like, she's like, I mean, every relationship has ebbs and flows. That's like my new thing. And like, it can't always be rainbows and butterflies, but it can be, you know, denial and arguments. And he's like, when we and like it can't always be rainbows and butterflies, but it can't be you know denial and arguments And he's like when we're good. We're amazing, but when we're not it's rough. She goes okay Carl. What do you need from me? He's like in this moment

Can I get a hug? She's no not in this moment in general. He's like oh I'm crying right now though. She is in general Carl. I just want a hug right now if that's okay I'm crying right now though. She is, in general, Carl, I just want a hug right now. If that's okay. I'm very sensitive. I can't be getting this, because I'm like literally crying right now. I would lose my mind. She's like, a hug.

Don't try to like just patch this up with a bandaid. So she's like, okay. So she comes over to hug him, soullessly. She sort of like has her head against his chest, looking at the kitchen counter, looking at all the cans She's plastic harder harder harder hug me harder Please may squeeze me squeeze me squeeze me so hug me harder squeeze me squeeze me please squeeze please

Please harder once you wait on me hard away. I hate coaching. I hate coaching squeeze me with your way hugging wrong All right, here's how you cut here's how you need to cut. Here's how you need to hug me I hate coaching all right put your arms around me. Squeeze, squeeze, do it harder, do it harder. You can do it. One, two, three, four. I don't want any more hugs from you. Harder hugs from you. Okay, damn it, I hate coaching so much.

That was a terrible hug. All right, we're gonna work on that next week. All right, in the meantime, give me five laps. This was so incredibly awkward. This hug, it's awkward enough that he's saying, excuse me, sweet place, one more squeeze, harder, harder, excuse me. And she's literally staring, so miserable.

I mean, it was so cringe, like so cringe worthy. Yeah, he's like, you used to like my hugs. And she's like, she like she like let's have a go. You were like, remember how that time you told me if hugs were a job, you'd be like great at that. So like, basically, I've got a career in hugging right now and I just need your support in that. You know what I was thinking, Lindsay?

You know that guy at Farmers Markets who has a sign that says free hugs? What about hugs for a dollar? I mean, it's a million dollar business idea right there. So now the party's over, so people are cleaning, it's the next day, sorry, the party's been over. Sorry guys, I got lost there. So they're cleaning up the backyard,

and Paige is like, wow, we really go through a fuckton of Loverboy, does anybody drink this? Because it's literally disgusting. I think the only people we're keeping in, I think the only people we're really keeping in profit are like aspirin companies, because it's just disgusting, okay. Can we stop faking this now?

Thanks. Can we just wear some Loverboy sweatshirts? That would be great. Yeah, that's all. We just need the sweatshirts. So then Paige is talking to Jesse, seeing if he had a fun summer, and he's talking about how like,

normally he does share houses with just boys, but this time it was with girls. But really cool, it was a top notch summer, yay. So now everyone's packing to go get in their cars to go to Montauk, and Danielle checks in on Lindsay, and she's like, well, once again, just got my ass hatted to be my Carl, just talking in circles and circles and circles and circles, and then he gets defensive, and then he starts

slinging insults, and then he's like, oh, we have a lot to think about, and I'm like, what? So she's like, um, and that's why we went to couple therapy, and there's nothing new, Carl, and I have been working really hard on my tone and delivery and reactiveness and not getting activated, And that's true. We've seen that because right now, Carl would have a bloody, bloody face. I'm telling you. And she's like, and it's almost like he makes him, he feels so bad that he wants to make me feel bad. And then he wants me to give him a hug. It's like, what the hell? And he's like, I just want you to be my-

I love that she can see so clearly what he's doing. She's not taking it the same we are, obviously, where she's like, this manipulative fuck, what is he doing? But she sees what he's doing and she's just like, but why, I don't understand why he's doing that. Clearly he's full of shit, but what is his end goal? Why is it not dawning on her that he's purposely trying to make her fly off the handle? She's just so confused.

Yeah, and he's like, he's like, oh, I just want you to be like my partner, my lover and have intimacy. It's like, oh, maybe don't yell at me and soul me and then I'll want to fuck you. By the way, I'm sorry. I put in a lozenge. Have you guys been hearing it like clicking around my mouth? I was trying not to do that and then I was stopping attention because I got so caught up.

And so if you hear like the sound of a lozenge in the mouth, I'm really sorry, but it's preventing me from like hacking up a lung while we podcast. So Danielle's like, you're not wearing your engagement ring. It's like don't don't don't. And then we go to commercial, but she just left it on the table. So, you know, who cares? Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this is the end of part one. So thank you so much for table so you know who cares. She don't take no baloney. Strolling the park with Kaitlyn Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Hitchels! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles. She's never scary, it's the green fairy.

Jamie, she has no last name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We forever love Ava. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie

Kendall. We got our wish it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Podshadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell, pour Rachel.

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar. We love you guys. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony let's take off with Tamla playing she knows shrinking violet Couture we love you guys hey Prime members you can listen to watch her crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple podcast before you

go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. I'm Shimon Liayi and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize.

This will probably be the most intense that you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling because I was one of them. I lost, but now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you wanna understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start.

Hopefully no one will die on stage tonight. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+.