Watch What Crappens - #2448 RHOBH S05E16 Part 1: Amster-Damn Rewind - Live in London!

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

This is part one of a two-part LIVE recap in LONDON!To kick off our European tour, we revisited one of the most epic European housewives trips: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in Amsterdam. You beast! Thank you to our amazing audience in London! Don’t forget to check out our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello London! Hello, London! Thank you! Oh my goodness, we're like setting up our show right now. We're like, huh, hi everyone. He brought me hard and my mic immediately went limp. Hello, London darlings! Finally, I'm here to try out my Lisa Vanderpump, where it was born. So good to see you.

You guys are so gorgeous. We have a fog machine. I would like to think it's listed. I know. We said we saw Taylor Swift. You better make something fucking happen at this theater. Or I'm telling America. Yeah, welcome to our first ever European show of all time. Yes. You know, Ronnie did mention we were at, a week ago,

we were at our, also our first ever Taylor Swift concert of all time. And we've learned a lot of great tips on how to do a live show. So the first thing we've learned is that we have to look into the corner. So we go like this. We've learned that people really love teeth. Yeah.

So I'm so sorry, gumless people. I hope there are none of you here. But if you if you only have gums, take care of it. People hate gums, apparently. They love teeth, though. Because whenever she was in trouble, she would just go... She also has a really effective move, her snap move. Her snap game is not snap-snapping. She doesn't snap. Pointing. W. So weird of Taylor to have snapped. She just goes, huh. And then when she points at you, you have to scream apparently.

At least that's what they do in Stockholm. Like Stockholm's like, we will be quiet unless somebody tells us not to be quiet. And so she would point and they go, ah, ah. Oh my God, it worked. Oh my god, it worked. Oh my god, the power. Also you guys, by the way, deep, deep apologies for being American. Okay, we're the worst.

Oh, also I'd like to apologize to the hotel formally for blowing out an electrical socket, because of course I'm the one who does that. I tried to shave for you today, make it clean cut. Look at all the hair I've grown this week. And I was like, I'm shaving it for London. I'm shaving it for the London show. And today I went in to baby-fy myself, and I plugged it in,

and it was going, ah-wah-wah, ah-wah-wah. And then I just kept hearing, pssh. And I was like, who's sussing me? It's like Ben's there. You know, I'm like, shut the fuck up. I'm gonna shave my head. It's my turn. Pshh.

Pshh. And then I smelled something and I was blowing up the hotel basically. But it's been so fun coming here to London. This is my second time ever coming here before. I came here in 2007, but this is the first time, that feels like an eternity ago. And so it was really cool. So we, of course, since we're doing a show, we had to do all this paperwork and everything, get like a sponsored visa.

And it was really fun coming into the country because we showed up and then we had to go to like, uh, Ben is so nervous. Ben is acting like he's auditioning to come into the country. He's like, I hope they let me in. I was like, they auditioning to come into the country. I know. He's like, I hope they let me in. I was like, they're going to let you in. He was like straightening his shirt. He's like, oh my God, here he comes. I felt like King Charles was literally standing there and I was like, okay. So we come in and the guy's like, all right, what you doing here? And we're like... Also really sorry for our accents.

Oh yeah. Sorry ahead of time. But we're not going to shut the fuck up with those. We're gonna be stuck with those all night. So he's like, so what you doing? And we're like, oh, we're here to do a podcast. He goes, alright, what's the name of your podcast? And we literally had to say to this guy who was wearing like five guns and just staring at us go, watch what crappens.

And they're so serious, he's like, watch what crappens. Spelled with a C, C-R-A-P. What do you guys talk about on your podcast? And I was like, the Real Housewives. And he just started to laugh, and I was like, you know what, it's really hard to make, you know, border people laugh. So we... Yeah.

It's a living fucker. But Ben's like, what if they don't let us in? And the guys here are so tough. We went to Buckingham Palace. You guys, what a nice house. So we went over there and there was a guy with a machine gun, a gun gun, a smaller gun, like a machete, another knife, an axe, and kitchen scissors. He just had like kitchen, bright green kitchen scissors right here. I was like I love that he's so prepared.

He could kill you, defend a village, or wrap a gift. He's ready. It's very useful. I was so worried coming over here because I'm like, you guys are so polite, you know, and sweet, and we know so many of you in our land. Far away land. And you know, I was like, I'm not going to make it here. These people are going to kick me out in about two seconds. So I'm on the plane and the flight attendant lady was like, oh, you're going to Stockholm? I said, yeah.

She goes, oh, you're going to love it there? They have great sweets. Did I leave the South? Because I think this bitch just called me fat. It's like I'll fit right in here. These are my people. I know. It's really good. The sweets have been really like out of control here. It's really been... The sweets have been really out of control here. It's been really wonderful, but... She was right, though. That's why people in Stockholm are so happy.

I didn't see one miserable person in Stockholm, and trust me, I tried. I was saying hi to everybody. I was doing the most obnoxious American things ever. I was like, hi, I'm Ronnie. We were eating a meal at one point, and it was with some people, and there were a lot of little things to eat and everything. There was a little thing of olives. So I started putting some olives on my plate, and someone goes, oh, taking an American size portion. I had five olives. American. I was so ashamed.

Yeah, you should have been. I was embarrassed. All right, so let's get into it, shall we? So tonight, we have the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah! Now we know it's weird coming over here and doing a classic episode. The reason we did that is because A, we have to do bad accents for you while we're here.

Yeah, very important. B, we really don't know what TV you have. Everyone's like, get Hey You. They're like, get Hey You. And so I try to get Hey You, but it's like, you're in the wrong country for Hey You. Like your Hey You is discriminatory. So I have no idea what they're showing you people. Yeah. You get everything we get, right? What the fuck? We could have just done something else. Anyway, everything else sucks anyway. By the way, we also get a lot of what you guys have. As you may know, I'm a huge fan of Love Island UK.

I bastardized all my accents from that show. By the way, I was really fascinated by Hannah from Love Island All-Stars. Can someone tell, I want to know, I never looked up what, did she say is a Scouse girl? She was like, I'm a Scouse girl with a fancy. We get our dresses all tailored. I've heard a couple of girls talking like that in our hotel. We're sitting in like a little trendy hotel and I can tell the Love Island Watchers because

they're, first of all guys let me do one thing as an American I think you're better in every way your buildings your people your cars your cabs your your food you could use some salt I'm not gonna lie one thing I'll help you with spray tans have evolved you guys I don't know I don't know what mixture you get here. You guys are literally orange. We have brown spray tans now. Why are you doing this to yourself? And when you go get your injectables,

do they paint your lips white like Brittany's mother on Vanderfruits Rules? What is wrong? What is going on with the coloring here? Anyway, I've seen some of those girls in there and you can tell cause they have the orange face, the white lips. They're like, oh, you have to have the hand. I can't even decipher what they're saying.

I just hear the hand. I'm a Scouse girl. Did she say Scouse girl? Is that a thing? A Scouse girl? Scouse. Scouse? Liverpool.

Liverpool. Oh my God. Liverpool. So hot. I'm not even going gonna try to bastardize that I also we're never gonna start this show I'm so sorry, and they're like hell by law you have to take an interval We're like we're not gonna talk long enough for that my ass. We're gonna be here 20 hours, so get ready to First time you're stuck here to Americans marveling at British accents. Wow. What was I going to say? God damn, I hate ADD sometimes.

I will say this. The best thing about ADD are the drugs for ADD. The rest of it sucks. One thing that is shocking is there actually have not been really any Real Housewives vacations to London, which really surprised me. Real Houses of Orange County actually just finished filming one like two weeks ago, so that's something we can all look forward to. I'm from Roswell!

Well, actually... Okay. I did come to London, but it was to talk about my dead husband. By the way, congratulations, sir, for being the first person in the history of humanity to yell out, Carol Radswell! Literally never happened. She was like, I have a fan. No, there was a Real Housewives of New York episode where they went to London, and we

thought about that, but only like two of them went. And the only thing that really happened was that Countess Luan walked into a room before Carol Radswell and or I'm sorry Carol walked in before Countess Luan. Who does she think she is? How dare she? I'm a Countess. Yeah that's there was one where Dorinda and Carol came to like a tribute to their dead husbands or whatever and remember when Dorinda was like, oh yeah, I remember this part of London. I used to live here. I used to have a couch in the shop here.

I remember walking down the streets with Hillary Clinton here. And she hit her head on the window and Carol's, and Carol's like, there's glass in the window, Dorinda. Hey, you fucking window. You better back the fuck up, you busy bitch window. I love the light in London. And we talked about that and I was like, that's so dark, Ben. We can't talk about the dead husbands.

I mean, I remember when that came out, we did like a 20-minute discussion on the red balloon, Dorinda's red balloon, and she was like... Every time I see a red balloon, Dorinda's red balloon, and she's like, every time I see a red balloon, I think of Richard. I'm like, oh, that must be rough. Erwin, she was like, you know, Richard always carry change in his pockets. And so every time I see a little pile of change, I think of Richard.

And I was like, these poor homeless people are just trying to have a fucking afternoon, you know what I mean? Richard. And I was like, these poor homeless people are just trying to have a fucking afternoon. You know what I mean? Richard! Richard! Wow. Another casualty of going to a cashless society. Yeah.

I was like, Ben, that's way too dark for our first London show. So let's just do Amsterdam. Not thinking, hey, what happened in that show? I just remember, don't you talk about that. That's all I remembered. Don't worry, we'll get there. We'll get there. But we're like, let's not recap the London episode.

It's so sad dealing with people who died. Yeah, nothing dark. So anyway, welcome to an hour discussing drug addiction and those who died from it. And Yolanda's windmill. Okay. So a lot of stuff, you know, a lot has changed in the world since we left this season, basically, like the things you're allowed to say without getting canceled. One thing that has changed, I guess for the better, is you're not supposed to make fun

of drug addiction or alcoholism anymore. But I figured since I've been in it, I think it's like when you're allowed to say the word f*** it, like I am one so I can say it, but you're not allowed to say it. Well, I'm assuming most of you are one too, so you can probably f*** it. But sorry husbands, not you. They're like, hey, wait a minute. Just kidding. That's the other London. But yeah, we're not supposed to do that.

I'm going to go ahead and just put those rules to the side. I am a drug addict and an alcoholic most of the time, and I'm going to exercise privilege here. Thank you. But I wish you the best, Kim Richards. And I like to sew. As someone who is also shoplifted from the dollar aisle of a Target, I wish you the best, Kimmy.

So we know that this episode aired a few years ago, so to help refresh you, previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hurley's. How exciting! How exciting I get to ride in a limo with celebrity Kim Richards! You better shut the fuck up, Lisa Rita, god damn it! You know what I've been through, Lisa Rita! You little goddamn thing with your stupid hair, your stupid face, your stupid lips? Shut up. Kim, are you drunk, Kim?

Are you drunk? How dare you? Kyle, Kyle, I think your sister's drunk. I think your sister's an alcoholic, Kyle. Oh my God, Eileen, I'm such a huge fan of yours. I love you so much, it's so great to meet you! Thank you so much, thank you. As a soap opera actor, it's such a pleasure to get to be so real so often and all the...

Shhh! Did you just throw wine in my face? I was just trying to be nice. Stop bullying me! How dare you! Eileen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh Yolanda, darling, I'm so sorry about your daughter's DUI. Gigi got DUI? Oh Gigi, I'm so proud of you for all the letters you have received.

No, no, it was Bella. Who? Bella. Hmm. Bella, Bella Hadid, your daughter. Oh, the other one. You dirty, dirty girl. I looked into your cart, was full of pills and tampons.

Shame on you. Yolanda. What? Yolanda. I think Kim Richards is an alcoholic. Ladies, I'd like to thank you so much for driving to Malibu for poker night. I know it's a four hour trip, but surely nothing's gonna go wrong tonight.

Poker night? Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, Royal Flush, oh shut the fuck up! Kim! I'm just stuck in the middle, Kim, please, I don't know what to say, Kim! Shut the fuck up, Kyle! Shut the fuck up, don't be so mean to your sister, Kyle. You shut up. No, you shut up, shut up, Kyle. I'm holding up sides of pizza, Kyle. I'm holding up sides of pizza, Kyle. Shut the fuck up, Kyle.

You guys, you guys, stop it. Kim Richards is an alcoholic. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And scene. Yeah. Yeah. That pretty much catches you up with season five And scene. That pretty much catches you up with season five of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, up to the point of this episode, more or less, I would say.

Lisa Rinna just loves that storyline. She found an alcoholic and she's running with it. It's like a witch hunt, but with Belvedere. I kind of like it. But it's so obvious. It's like she's the most obvious detective ever. Like, you guys, can I call a meeting? Kim Richards might have a drinking problem. Kim Richards is like, I would like to thank Emilio Estevez for this Oscar. She's literally praying next to a trash can. Do you remember?

They're like, hey guys, they're at the... They were at the airport and they're like, guys we're gonna miss our plane. Where's Kim? And she's like, you're recycling. I've always believed in reincarnation. Thank you for making it happen for bottles. reincarnation. Thank you for making it happen for bottles. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds. But none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it?

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You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then we get our tag lines from season five. So let's remind everyone what these were. We start with Kyle Richards who says, yes, thank you. For those listening at home, someone very politely, because we're in the UK, someone goes, boo.

Boo. In America they're like, fuck that. Boo. So, Kyle Richard's tagline, planes and yachts are nice, but my happiness starts at home. I don't know, you may want to fast forward a few seasons. I was going to say funny because that's also where it ends. Just kidding, guys. I don't wish anybody unhappiness.

JK. So Kim's like, I'm in Ransom, I'm in Famous, but happiness beats them both. This was back when they had to like twirl obsessively. Yeah. I think it was like right when they were like, don't twirl anymore. Just pose awkward like you're, just pose like you're seizing, you know? So she's like... Then we have Yolanda.

Character isn't what you have. It's who you are. Unless you're the other one. Or the other other one. I'd rather spend my life kissing it than kiss. I'd rather spend my life kicking it. I'd rather spend my, line! Lisa Vanderbump, iconic. Throw me to the wolves. And I shall return, leading the pack and also wearing a nice blazer.

Next time you see me, I will know magic. Little known fact, wolves love a magician to lead them. To so many Housewives fan, this is our religion, you know? And it is very biblical when Lisa Vanderpump was like, I'll be back. Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do. I mean, it was very Jesus-y, you know? And I cannot help every year where they're like,

Bravo, announce us anew, and I'm like, is Jesus back? Because I don't know what I believe in, but I was trained to believe in Jesus, you know? So even if I'm like, oh my God, that's so fucking stupid every time a cloud parts. I'm like, is that Jesus? It's very I'm like you race my porn history like Jesus would never see my private tabs, you know And I feel the same way about Lisa like I'm not hiding my porn from Lisa, but I'm just like is Lisa back Has the Red Sea parted? Lead my mother home. Next up sorry that got awkward okay okay wrap it up Ronnie. I

was like I don't understand. Suddenly and there was my zippers down I'm talking talking about Jesus and Lisa Vanderpump. Sorry. Forget where I am sometimes. Rinna. Oh, Rinna. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You've heard a lot about me, but it's only true when it comes from my lips. By the way, I just wanna say that what just happened is like our lives.

This is like me and Ronnie getting on the microphone. Rinna. Ten minutes before recording, it's just like Carlton Gebbia. And then finally we have Eileen. I'm not a bitch, but I've played one on TV. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you?

How dare you, Kim? You're all monsters, monsters. I was dying watching this again. Eileen's level of being offended at every little thing is so good, I've missed it. How dare you. At one point today she's like, it's just so, it's just so hurtful. Okay, so woohoo, we are in Amsterdam. And Carl's like, oh my god, in this town, in this town, in this town.

In this town, in this town, in this town. So I like the way the episode starts off also because it's just like a pure dose of Yolanda and just Yolanda stepping in and like they have all their luggage and she's like, no, no, everyone don't touch your bags. The poor person will take it away. Actually what was really fun about doing this episode, sorry, I know we'll never actually start it. I'm always very behind on trends and so like getting ready for this episode, sorry, I know we'll never actually start it. I'm always very behind on trends, and so getting ready for this episode,

I learned something that happened a year ago, but the rise of the concept of the Almond Mother. Do you guys know about the Almond Mother? This is the rise of the Almond Mother. Do you know about the Almond Mother? It's Yolanda. It's Yolanda, okay. But did you know it came from Yolanda?

I didn't even know about the concept until this afternoon. For those who don't know, Girl. An almond mother comes from the scene on this very show. They know. But I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Rina! Rina! That's true. I'm sorry. It's like fucking up Christmas, you know?

Yeah. You got a truck. Look it up, everyone. You'll enjoy it. Tell them, tell them, tell them. I really am an asshole. I feel like I'm like the kid now. I read it. Go on, Ben, do your book report. One time Yolanda Foster, Gigi called up

and was like, I'm hungry. They all died. The end. I saw the movie. I'm like the worst, okay? I'm so sorry. That was rude. No, but it was- Yeah, almond mother came from here. Yeah, because basically it was that scene where Gigi called up saying she was about to pass out because all she'd had was half an almond in the day and Yolanda goes, oh, have a few more almonds and just chew them really slowly. Yeah.

Do you remember when she had the cake when it was Gigi's birthday? And someone had to Gigi a cake and she's like, and Yolanda was like, it's a good, it's a good. She's like, mom, but I'm just gonna have a piece. No, you can have half a piece, half a half a piece. Half a half a half a piece. Half a half a half a half a half a half a half a piece. And then there was a,

because I definitely watched a video today that said, two minutes trade of Yolanda shaming Gigi Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And I was like, you know, women who play volleyball, they have to eat a lot and their shoulders become very big. So you can either play volleyball and have big shoulders or be a supermodel, your choice. Didn't she actually say one time, she's like, oh my God, the volleyball, what am I raising a lesbian? She said, I thought you were going to be a lesbian. So anyway, they arrive in Amsterdam. Yolanda left before we got to see everything really blow up with those girls.

I mean, those girls, I hope that their whole lives were filled with vaginas and shoulders. Giant, giant shoulders. Like in Yolanda. Which girls? I thought there was only one. Which girls? I thought there was only one. So then Brandy speaks for, you know, all of us who are disgusted with ourselves being in this country. Or, you know, over here, from America.

And she's like, I know Dutch words, zet en tak en vlak en deeg en deeg en vlak. Fack is universal. Brandy with the edge. And then Kim is like, oh my god, I love this lobby and these chandeliers. Like Kim, you're in a phone booth right now. Huh? Turn down the lights.

Ring ring ring ring. So they go into the hotel restaurant and they're all sort of settling down and Lisa Vanderpump is like, oh, it feels fantastic to finally touch down in Amsterdam. We're going to celebrate. We're gonna have fun. We're going to get naughty.

Ooh. So naughty. What is it, Christmas? Oh, good, I don't have to have sex with my husband. Get it! It's a little naughtiness for you. TM. Naughty Pump. Yolanda walks into her suite and she's like,

oh, it's my favorite blue. It's very Dutch. I'm going to make this wallpaper eat an almond. This hotel is so lucky for me telling my favorite color. Finally something pretty to look at. So Rinna, this I was shocked to see because I forgot that this ever existed. Rinna runs to LVP with open arms going, Ha! Lisa Vanderbilt! I'm so excited to see you!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Before the betrayal. Yeah, right. Judas before thirty. Gold coins were unpacked. To see Lisa and Eileen, it's like seeing a lifeboat in a very stormy ocean. Like a Lisa Vanderbilt lifeboat, Lisa Vanderboat.

Sexy unique lifeboat. Sober. It's just a pendulum across the ocean, swinging with chandeliers. swinging with chandeliers. Hey, oh. Oh, oh, oh. That's Kim on North Sea TikTok. Hey, Kyle, there's a boat.

We're close to the North Sea, aren't we? This is the closest I've ever been. Kyle. All hands on Emilio Estevez. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? Who else is? Actually, I feel like what's cool about being in Britain is that you can actually ask people who here has just been to the North Sea.

We're like, what? That's all I have on the North Sea. I'm sorry. That was it. I'm completely empty. TikTok only shows us all different algorithms, so I don't get that. I'm completely empty. TikTok only shows, it shows us all different algorithms. So I don't get that. I get black parenting.

And then I get like really cute French bulldogs, you know chasing each other and doing cute things like sliding across the floor or like the cow hugs a chicken. I get a lot of those. Love those videos. Horrible people love animal videos. Did you know that?

It's a thing. So, Rinna's talking about- Guys, guys, guys, guys, listen to this. This is crazy. So, I've really been working at getting to the bottom of Kim Richards and her alcoholism. Really been talking to her. I've really been talking to her. I've been asking people about it.

Got on a horse from the airport, I said, have you heard about alcoholism? She is one, right? Smell her. He kicked. She got so upset with me. And then we get on a private plane to go to Calgary. Kim Richards isn't even speaking to me.

What? And Eileen, like right on cue, why does it have to get so mean and vicious? Why? Ugh, doesn't everyone hate those mean and vicious moments when you get on a private plane in Calgary to fly to Amsterdam? So relatable.

And someone berates you about being an alcoholic? And you're rude to them in return? I mean, it just hurts my feelings even hearing about it. Why does it have to get so mean and vicious? And then, Brenda's like, I'll tell you why. She's an addict. She's an addict and this is classic textbook addict behavior. Everyone knows when an actor gets on a private plane in Calgary, they're mean

And Eileen's like, oh I just I Just why is there always always an excuse for bad behavior? the excuse of being an addict Did when someone says why are they acting like an addict? Because they're an addict. That's not an excuse. There's a reason. Eileen.

I mean, you could be high on meth, but at least be polite about it. So Rinna's like, you better watch out, Eileen, because Kim is going to come right at, well, not right at you. It'll probably be curved. You'll probably see a couple of you standing there, but she's going to charge. It'll be like when you're on a sidewalk and you go to the right, they go to the left, and you go to the left, they go to the right. It'll be kind of like that. And they're doing jazz hands to each other back and forth.

They're like, how can I get by you on the sidewalk? You know. I hope there's railings. There's railings while she's coming for you. She could be in the middle of the street. She's not calling. So Eileen's like, good. I hope she comes after me.

I hope she does. Because when she does, I will look her right in the eye and I will say, how rude. Food. Food, Kim. So they all gather in the hotel lobby and they're all waiting for people and Yolanda's like, okay, so now we're missing one, your sister, Kyle, the wild one on my private plane. And Kyle's like, oh, it seems like there's a lot of things bothering Kim, but she's used to using me as her punching bag. Me, poor Kyle Richards, punching bag to all the big and little sisters in the world. Isn't it crazy that minus the scissoring,

Kyle's storyline is still the same. I have to remind myself, hold on, let me take a moment. This is being recorded in London, but it is being played everywhere and I will still get cancelled everywhere else. But still, her story line is like, but then it's also like, my sisters betray me all the time. Poor, poor Kyle. So bells ringing outside and Yolanda's like, beautiful, I did that. I told them to do that. I invented bells, yes. So I did that. Blue told them to do that. I invented bells. I can't see, so I did that. Blue, Yolanda, blue.

Everyone look out. Bicycles in Holland go before anybody, except for Gigi, of course. Rina's like, yeah, they'll run you right over. They're just gonna zip right over you, so don't get run over. It's like standing between Kim and a pile of drugs, am I right?

Just right over you. Just right. She's like a woman with bicycle wheels. Can we stop empowering bicycles? It's not only your country, it's ours too. Enjoy your bicycle. Thank you for whatever you're doing to save the earth. Get the fuck out of the road. You have a lane go to the lane Yeah, especially here cuz here you'll you'll get murdered I mean y'all aren't allowed to carry the guns the same way we are in Texas But a bicycle pull it out of its fucking bar somewhere. It's just be a girl. Yeah, I'm a bike motherfucker Whoa

I'm actually going ballsy the bicyclists. I'm actually going to Amsterdam after this and I am I'm a bike motherfucker. Like, whoa. I'm actually going to... You're like ballsy, the bicyclist. I'm actually going to Amsterdam after this, and I am... Yes. And I am 100% certain I'm going to get run over by a bike. I've already gotten run over by a bird scooter, so I feel like I just have a target on me. You won't because you have the magician Dom with us. We have Dom with us and Dom is...

Oh yeah, Dominique Kelly everyone. Sorry to embarrass you, but poor Dom is tasked with keeping us alive in this city and he's done it. He's literally like, rah, rah. I know. The arms are coming out, he's like physically grabbing my shoulders and moving me to the side. Well, I'm staring at my phone going,

wow, if you turn this way, the arrow also moves. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm going to get run over. I also have visions of me walking down the street and hollering, stop it. Stop it. I'm basically Eileen. How could they with their bicycle? Rude. How rude. So now they go to a restaurant and Eileen's like, does anybody want to go to the Rude Light District? I got excited there for a second. I thought there was a whole district I could just walk around saying, how rude. The Rude Light District. Serena's like, red light district? So I have a question. Is it like looked upon as something you aspire to do? Because I've got two daughters and be a hooker.

No, with that, you work at Sir. Yeah. Of course, in Los Angeles, we call it the Purple Light District. We don't call them hookers. We call them purveyors of goat cheese balls, where I'm from. call them purveyors of goat cheese balls where I'm from. You're not a hooker if you have a uniform. But also, yeah, people aspire to be hookers. Have you ever seen a Western?

Have you ever, like, have we seen, have we taken a look at people's only fan earnings? They're fucking amazing. If my fupa wasn't like an elephant's ear, I'd be hooking right now. I think I'd be sitting up here making Dutch blue jokes. Fuck no. Dutch blue jokes. I'd be swinging it around like a helicopter

on my cell phone. Of course Yolanda is like, listen, if I were dead broke and I had to feed my one child, I would do anything. Yolanda, you've got two other children. Are you sure about that? Because I was looking in Cosmopolitan, I only saw one daughter.

If I had no other way to feed my babies, if I was missing arm and the other one was missing an other maybe I would I would do it for an appetizer I would do it for a fucking appetizer these people acting like by the way you're with David Foster let's stop acting like you would never do anything desperate you literally have the five blind tenors locked in your fucking basement right now. Let's stop acting like you don't love the torture. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Shimon Liai, and I have a new podcast called The Competition.

Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like

to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early

and ad free right now by joining Wondry+. Do you guys remember the days when Yolanda used to wish happy birthday to every one of her children's, like boyfriends or girlfriends? She'd be like, oh dear, the weekend. To a magnificent man with a beautiful voice, I wish you the happiest of birthdays.

For your birthday weekend, I've bought you vows. Oh Zane, Zane, Zane, Zane. This birthday wish will age very well I'm sure. I've loved you ever since I held you in my lap the first time. I was like, what this is inappropriate. You've known him one year man. Dua Lipa. I don't know who you're dating from my family but I thank you. So Lisa Vanderpump's like, I don't understand this prostitution rationale. I don't think

you need a dick in your mouth to put food in theirs. Literally seasons one through eight of Vanderpump rules. Also I've been to all of your restaurants and let me just say you're no expert at putting food in mouths. I'll trust the people who take dick any day over you, madam. Alright everyone, now that we have gathered here in this restaurant, I want to start off this trip. I'd love to go around the table and see if any of you have something to share, you know, that connects us on a deeper level. For instance, I have someone in my family.

Oh, man! Kim! Kim! Yes, yes, okay. Richards. It has come to... It has come to my attention that one of my domestic servants has gotten a DUI. What? It's a daughter? Kim Richards is not calling. Kim Richards is not... A daughter got a DUI which stands for not being as good as the other one under the influence. The other isn't.

The other isn't. They thought of what could have happened to her. She may never even meet the weekend. It's a shock. It shook me. It shook me. It did. But I just want to share that with you girls.

Because when we talk, we try to hide things from each other. I'm beautiful. I have a blue named after me. We don't want to talk about the real things. Some daughters don't deserve names. Keep it on track, Yolanda, Tim Richards, alcoholic. Alcoholism. It's just a really important reminder

that we're not perfect. Am I beautiful? Yes. Am I wealthy? Yes. Do I have a one-of-a-kind sitoo refrigerator? Yes. Do I have a daughter who's a supermodel?

Yes. Do I have two others who do things? Yes. Am I perfect? Yes, I'm perfect. Actually, yes. Are my children perfect? One. But I could have made mistakes. I mean, thank God I never did something like hook up with the man who works at a windmill, right?

Well, in Beverly Hills, nobody really shows anyone the true core of who they are as a human being, which is why I occasionally pretend to know how to cook while I boil a chicken. Well, in Beverly Hills, nobody really shows anyone the true core of who they are as a human being, which is why I occasionally pretend to know how to cook while I boil a chicken and call my husband King. By the way, speaking of cores, I hear that they're in the middle of apples, but I've never gotten that far. To me, it is important to be who we are, and I'm the mother of a disgusting girl who gets drunk. These women are the worst.

Okay, I cannot believe poor Kim, literally, is sitting there, poor, white-knuckling it. You know she is at this point, just so nobody is on her ass, you know, the woman just wants a glass of rose, you know? And they're all staring at her and she's sitting up straight. You know Kim's nervous because like she's sitting up straight and she's like, I'm ready to kick Lisa Rinna's ass. Like she's already shaking. And Yolanda's like, welcome to my home country. Let us talk about alcoholism.

Lisa Rinna, anything else? I was like, welcome to my home country. Let us talk about alcoholism. I know. Lisa Rinna, anything else? I was like, what is this, like, accusation karaoke? Jesus Christ, can the woman have a drink? Like, let her have her first drink before you call her an alcoholic. My god, don't come at me about drug addiction when I've still got a baggie of Coke in my pocket.

Wait till after. I paid for this. So Rinna's like, OK, I will see your daughter having a DUI and raise you. So she, I mean that's what these shows are all about right? So she talks about how you know you know substance abuse, alcohol is actually very important to her and she tells a very sad story about how she lost her sister when she was a young child to an overdose to her and she tells a very sad story about how she lost her sister when she was young child to an overdose and everything and she talks about how It's in her family's DNA. She's very terrified of this obviously very understandable and she's making this like very

Serious point and the music is very serious music is like And this was some Alan Lazar serious music. It was like, dun dun dun dun. This music was called like, Rinna's Sad because her sister's dead and Kim is probably a coke addict. It's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun run. I'm so sorry because if it ever if I ever got into your business, I never meant to And the music just stops

I only meant to help and we've discussed that Lisa. We've discussed it. I only meant to help. And we've discussed that, Lisa. We've discussed it. I only wanted to help. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Kim. Lisa. Kim. Lisa, I have been sober for three years. And in three years, my friends here, my friend,

well, not you. You're pointing at the bus boy. My friends. You're pointing at the bus boy, Kim. My friends. Okay, that's a plant. Go on, Kim. My family and my family too.

Okay. They've never seen me like that in the cab. You saw me in the cab. They've not seen me like that in three years. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. They don't have anything else to say. You can talk now. Kim, but I saw you like that, Kim. I saw you.

Let's roll the flashback. Let's roll the flashback. Fuck you, you don't know what I've been through at night, you dumb bitch. Go fuck yourself. Stick your suckers. I wish you could bend more so you could put your asshole in your own face and suck on it, you dumb fucking bitch.

Okay, okay. Well, surely you'll be less unhinged at poker night in a few minutes. You know what I'm doing, you stupid, I'm gonna make fun of Patton. Cut back. Well, you know, I'm sorry if I've forgotten your business. I'm sorry, Kim, but you know what?

I had to, I had to. You don't even know what you're doing. I said that night, I'm taking something for pain. Lisa, I told you, I told you, I'm taking something for pain. And whatever it was, it didn't react to me. I turned into the Incredible Hulk. My body turned green.

I ripped off my clothes, I lifted up the car, and I threw you inside of the car all the way to Pasadena. I'm sorry, but it was pain medication. And anyone who has seen me in the past three years would know there was a one-time thing. If it was my sister, my...listen. Listen. It was a one time thing. Kyle saw it and was like, it was a one time thing.

Said, I don't want to hear it. It was sober. The entire time. We're monsters. You know that? We're going? We're going to hell. Not only in hell. Because this is terrible people. OK, so but it really does feel good to be terrible.

Stop being kind to each other, really. Just kidding. It's OK. I lure you in with religious talk, and then I reverse it on you. I'm like, be unkind to others. Isn't this what we always hear about when you come to Britain and you can take the piss out of people?

Let's take the piss. All right. So she's like, Lisa, and then we talked about it, Lisa, and you, I thought we talked about it on the plane. I thought we had a very good conversation on the plane, Lisa. And then it cuts to the conversation on the plane where she's like, Lisa, you, I thought we talked about it on the plane, I thought we had a very good conversation on the plane, Lisa. And then it cuts to the conversation on the plane, where she's like, Lisa, you better shut your goddamn fucking mouth

about my family, Lisa, because this is my kids, and my kids hear about it. Lisa, you're gonna die in your sleep because I'm gonna be there with a pillow, putting it over your big stupid fucking pillow face until you're dead, Lisa. And then it comes back she's like we had a very nice conversation and she goes and you've gone around and told

everyone and everyone's like how do you know I've gone around told everyone and you too she points at Eileen you too Kim Kim do not point your finger at me, Kim. Do not. Oh, you too. Asking where I've got a treatment. Do I have a sponsor? Well, we've asked you. We've asked you if you have a sponsor. You asked me if I was okay, and I said I was fine.

Cut to it. I'm fine, you fucking bitch. You want to end up in the ground? Get back. I asked if you were okay, and if you were in meetings. Yeah, I was at a meeting with Emilio Estevez. We're going to do Young Guns Part 45. It's going to be a great movie.

So wrong? I told you on the plane, Lisa. I am fine. Cut to the plane. Psh. Psh. Are you throwing, burning matches and flicking at them? Flicking at them and ask Kim?

Kim, how rude. How dare you. Dare you. Come back. But it's like, Kim, we're just concerned about you and we wanna make a really good mid-season trailer. Excuse me, Lisa, excuse me. I am concerned about you and your situation at home, Lisa.

Okay? Okay. You, you want to bring out my stuff? I'll bring out your stuff then. Kim. Kim. Excuse me, I am not talking to you. Well I am talking to you.

Excuse me. Excuse me? Shame on you. We've all talked about it. Shame on you. We've all talked about it. And I am talking to you. Kim.

Oh yeah? You shut your fucking mouth. How about that? I've had enough of you, you beast. Excuse me? Beast? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Beast. Yeah. Beast. I've been beasted! I've been beasted! Help me, someone, I've been beasted! She called me a beast! She called me a beast! A beast!

A beast! Is that Bella over there? Is she drunk? That was daytime television acting, thank you. How dare you! How dare me. How dare me. You came into my home. And I apologized for that part. You know what, Kim? Actually, you didn't apologize. Uh-huh. You didn't apologize.

And in three years. Actually, you didn't. I don't like you. Well, guess what? I don't like you. Be quiet. I love that that's Kim Richards. Like, you know what?

I'm losing this argument. I don't like you. I don't like you. Well, guess what? I don't particularly like you. I don't particularly like you. I don't particularly like you. I don't particularly like you. I don't particularly like you. I don't particularly like you. I don don't like you. Be quiet. I love that that's Kim Richards like, you know what? I'm losing this argument. I don't like you.

Well guess what? I don't particularly like you much either. Do you want to play that game? Good, good, because I don't like you. Well, I can't find one damn thing to even like about you right now in the moment. Yeah? Well I never found one good thing to ever like about you right now at the moment. Yeah? Well, I never found one good thing to ever like about you. Well, I've done nothing to you except say the word damn just now. Whoa! I don't like you. From your hair, to your face, your watch is dumb. Phew. You're a weak-wristed. Weak-wristed. I've never liked your wrists.

Wait, so I'm a beast with weak wrists? I don't get it, Kim. You have wispy hair. I've never liked it. Kim! Whenever you talk, you sound like a hand dryer. Hand dryer? A broken old hand dryer. You're just being rude. You're like a crusty booger.

I'm a fully operational hand dryer. You're a kinkle. I hate you. A kinkle. Kim, Kim, stop it, Kim, Kim. That's Kyle Richards pretending like she's actually caught in the middle. Kim, stop it.

Please, stop. Stop it, no. No, Kim, I'm the real victim here. Stop, Kim. Kim. What is wrong with you, Kim? It's like Kyle, shut up. You gotta stop this from the beginning.

In three years, I've been okay. Three years! And I talked to him on the plane, you were like this. He was like, oh, oh, Kim. Why does it keep me so mean? Why do you act like this, Kim? It keeps me so mean. Kim, why do you act like this?

You want me to sit here and defend you even though you're acting like that? I'm me to sit here and defend you even though, like, you're acting like that? I'm just, I can't defend you, okay? Although, if Kathy were to do this, I would want Kathy to defend me right away, totally serenade. I've never needed you to defend me, Kyle, because you never have, you never have. Yes, I have, Kim! I guess I have, like, remember when I told all of America that you're an alcoholic? That was totally a defense of you. Naaah. Oh, she does defend you, Kim. She does defend you, darling. Just as I'm sure Kyle would defend me if I don't know the entire group tried to run me off the show. Kyle, always there. Most loyal person I've ever known, 1000%.

You know, Kim's like, well, Brandy defends me more than you, don't you, Brandy? And Brandy, you know, now listen, if you ever want yourself to be, if you ever need to find an ally against someone accusing you of being a drug addict and an alcoholic, you better find you a drug addict and an alcoholic. Because we bond together, we'll beat your ass, okay? We don't even care if we're right or wrong

because it doesn't need to make sense anyway. You know what I mean? You're used to not understanding what the fuck we're talking about. And Brandy's like, yeah, you better watch it. Then one of my favorite things about all these Richard sisters is just how evil they are to each other

because then Kim pulls the old, you know what, Kathy would never act like this. Kathy would have my back like a real sister, Kyle. I remember back then we were like, who's this Kathy and what's she like? And I think it's true, Kathy does have Kyle's back. I mean Kim's back. We've seen it I mean we've seen it on like red carpet things where Kim is showing up and she's they're like, hey, it's Kim Richards and she's like It's like putting lipstick on and it's like a dog that she found, you know on the street Like well, she's wiping her face with a dog and Kathy's like she's just not feeling well But we're so happy to be here Kim smile So happy to be here. Kim smile. Kim. She's like pulling her cheeks apart.

Little teapot. Sure is loud. There goes the town. And there goes the town. Yeah, and Carl's like hiding behind a fan. Morgan Wade tour coming in 2024. So now, now everyone's like, Kim, Kim, it is not okay to talk to your sister or anyone like that, Kim. Okay? You cannot do that. No, you don't understand. You understand the relationship with my sister All right, yeah, we're in a camp Kim No, Kim, really? No, we do not talk to people like that Kim. Mm-hmm. All right

How about you have a piece of bread and then maybe you can calm down a little bit Shame on you Kim shame. Shame on you. Beasts, bread, what else is next? You're disgusting. You're a fucking dirty alcoholic is fine, but have a piece of bread is like, Oh, Kim! Can I interfere for a second? Now listen, am I perfect? Yes.

Now I understand your sensitivity, Kim, because you've worked so hard for three years. At a job? No. Your health? Have you found any valves for weakened? No. Your health? Hmm. Have you found any valves for weakened? No. I don't know what you've worked on, but I'm here with you, so I'm gonna say something. Line?

Anyone? You know, even though Kim's daughters are not friends with Taylor Swift, that's okay. She's a human too. But you know what, with Lisa, when I talked to her, she said, Yolanda, I've lost two brother-in-laws. My husband has only been sober for three years. Oh, yeah?

Let's talk about the husband. Let's talk about the husband then. Hm? Let's do it. Excuse me? Excuse me? Hm? Let's not talk about what you don't want out.

You know what? Let's not. You know what? Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You are a scary, vicious human being Kim. Alright Eileen. Alright Eileen. Listen, Kim, don't you ever touch my husband. Don't you ever touch my husband! Just saying. Don't you ever! Don't you ever talk about it. Don't you ever.

Don't you ever go near. Don't you ever go near. Don't you ever go near the husband! Don't you ever go near! Kyle Richards. Don't you ever know. Everybody will know what you don't want. Don't you ever go near my husband ever again, Kim.

Hold me back. Hold me back. Don't you ever, Kim. Don't you ever. She throws this glass down on the floor, and then in the interview she goes, I lost my marbles. Whoa. Did you see that? Marbles.

Where are they? They're gone. I'll tell you who a marble is. Kim Richards. Is there a doorman here? Is there a front desk? Has anyone turned in my marbles? They're missing! Lost them!

Whoa! And then we cut to Kyle Richards She's in Eileen's arms like Oh my god, it's so hard being in a perfect marriage I know Kyle And then it cuts back to Rinna And she's like, wow, what does Kim Richards know? What is it?

What does she know about Harry? What did he do? She doesn't even know my husband. Hold on a second. This is inappropriate, but I have to let it out. Oh, I'm so mad. So Yolanda's like, oh my god. Oh no. Kyle Richard ran through a door for him. You know, okay, alright, alright. You know, okay, Rinna.

So now Rinna's sobbing. They're all sobbing in different people's arms. They're the ones calling somebody an alcoholic. What the fuck are you guys crying about? Meanwhile, the alcoholic's over here, strong as hell. She's like... She's stiff as a whiskey. She doesn't care. All right, go after your new friend, Kyle.

Kim, stop. How could I defend your behavior when you act like this? I'm sorry, but she can't lie about me. If she doesn't want things, I know to come out. And I'm going to tell her something that's true. And LVP is like, Kim, stop it, Kim. God, you're good. Keep going, Kim.

Kim, this is called a karaoke microphone. Fits in your purse and runs on batteries. You've got about 17 minutes. Do it! Kim, you want me to defend you, and you're indefensible! What am I supposed to do, Kim? What are you talking about? She lies about me, Kyle, and all I said is I was gonna tell the truth about her fucking pig-lip lies.

How can someone be such a mean person? That's what I wanted. Someone be so mean. And Brandi's like, I mean, I don't even know what I'd like. I've never even seen this. Like this is, I mean, I've got glass in my hair right now. This is awesome. It's great. So much. And I love Brandi because she knows that she's on the losing team right now. This is awesome. It's great. So much love. And I love Brandy because she knows that she's on the losing team right now and there's nothing she's going to say that's going to win. So she's just like subtly interweaving kind of what the big problem here is. She's like, wow, I mean, I don't know what to do. This is like, I have glass in my hair. I have like

actual glass. Brandy, we haven't said this. I I mean we pantomimed it, but Rinna grabs someone's turkey neck. First of all, how dare you. I've been working on this waddle for years. Don't you touch it. This is not your waddle, this is my waddle. I've earned this, all right? She grabs it, then Kim backs her off,

and then she breaks a glass into a shiv and tries to stab the bitch Yeah, that's great. And now she's crying like she's been victimized I think it's also crazy that this like iconic bat shit crazy scene happens and Brandi Glenville is the most calm person in it That doesn't make sense I mean it really does go to show you how these shows turn you crazy, right? They really do make you fucking nuts. I mean, look at Lisa Rinna now.

She's... Wow. Sorry, that got dark. I was like, guys, let's think about Lisa Rinna. It was like Awakening, so I was just like gone. I was like... So I'm like running in the fields away from Lisa Rinna. I'm like, aah!

So Kyle's still outside the restaurant. He'll be like, I tried to defend her and I don't know. Bad person if I defend her, bad person if I don't defend her. And then Yolanda comes inside. She's like, oh my God. Oh, Kim, what happened? It's like when I'm told I have other daughters. I say I don't know what to say So I'm gonna

I'm gonna be in trouble for not defending her. That's the best part. I'm just sick of defending bearers Indefensible it's ridiculous and covering up around and I'll be peace like please breathe deep get it together get it together Let's get back to the hotel. Surely everything's gonna be alright. Let's ruin Yolanda together. It'll be a fun night. We can play our favorite game. Settlers of...

Let's bring that bitch down. I love Yolanda. After this wild scene happens, just goes up to Kim and goes, Kim that is not the way to communicate. And Kim's like, well she was Kim. Oh, I think we already discussed it on the plane, Kim. Yeah, I was still Kim. I know Charlie, she's Kim. There's a certain way to talk. And that way to talk is fluggen, fluggen, fluggen, fluggen. So Kim's like, yeah, every day I've been pushed to the limit with this,

and I hear something new that's been said. And she's like, well, this is not okay. Look at how we've ruffled the tablecloth here. This is my country. Is it perfect? No. Am I? I mean, still, still.

So now they're piling into a van to leave, right? And so Kyle's like, oh, you know, you don't know what, like you don't understand or anything. Kyle is still doing this thing. Like, she is the one who actually got the glass broken on her head right now. And Lisa's like, oh, I've seen it for years. She feels responsible for her sister.

She feels responsible for everything she does. And she can't defend her. It's so sad. So Kim, this is so, these women are such shit heads really. So Kim's like, yeah, but you don't understand because I sent her a text and I said, please let's not talk about it. And Lisa sent me a text back and was like, we won't.

And you know Lisa did. She's like, okay Kim, we're done. We are done talking about it. I am done. I hope you're okay, Kim. I just love you. Never talking about it again. Kim's an alcoholic, everybody. I love you're okay, Kim. I just love you. Never talking about it again. Kim's an alcoholic, everybody.

I love you. I love you. Listen, listen, Kim. You need to stand up for yourself and you need to take your powers. Yeah. And I love what you're saying. I just don't agree with what you're saying.

Yeah. That's all I had to say, really. There was no way for me to get my point across because there were like five people talking at me at once, okay Yolanda. And Brandy goes, you know what, these women, they just like don't know how to drop something when you ask them to drop it. Oh, says Brandy Glanville, the calm person on this show. Yeah.

And also, let's not forget Yolanda started this shit on purpose, okay? So Yolanda gets everyone together for dinner and then she's like, let us talk about alcoholism. LOL as the kids say, LOL. Am I right, Kim? Am I right, anyone? Here's a pinata, Kim Richards. Take a, take a, wrap it, take the cardboard circle that comes inside the wrapping paper and just start hitting the donkey. Kim, stand up. Stand. Huh? Huh? And then Yolanda's acting all innocent, like, this is not how we talk to people, Kim. Look how politely I brought up the conversation of your alcoholism and put you up as chum for the shark Lisa Rinna to bite.

It's called manners, Kim. It's called manners. So they go back to Kyle's suite, which is pristine, not a single thing is out of place, and she's like, to bite. It's called manners, Kim. It's called manners. So they go back to Kyle's suite, which is pristine, not a single thing is out of place, and she's like, sorry, my room's a little messy. Oh, I have to say, Kyle, are you okay? Kyle's like, not really, I mean, it's just like, I'm always being blamed, it's just so hard, you know? I mean, it's just like, so hard, Kim's the strong one. Kyle's the, Kim's the weak one. Kyle's the strong, gorgeous one, you know?

Kim. It's so hard, you know, people are always like, oh my God, Kim is the famous one. Kyle is just the talented one. It's so hard, the burden. It's like Kim has some, Kim has some dry, brittle hair. Kyle's long, gorgeous, moisturized hair. It's just so hard to be me.

Kim is friends with a mop, I'm friends with a future Oscar winner, Jamie Lee Curtis, it's so hard being me. Kim opens her mouth and smells like Halloween and I've been in Halloween, I mean it's just, it's so difficult being me. It's a hard burden. And Eileen's like, oh yes, it's just hard to watch, Kyle. It really is.

It's like everyone's saying it's none of our business, but when you see it, when you see it, when you see it, Kyle, it becomes our business. It does. It's just weird to say you can't just pretend you're not seeing it and you don't have an opinion about it. It's like Vince in his underwear. You just have to say why. Please put on some shorts, Vince.

Kyle, you, it's abusive, and you are in an abusive relationship, Kyle. You're being abused by Kim. Oh, it's so cruel, Kyle. It's so cruel. God, I think we're going to make a great trailer. All I have to say is whenever you have a problem, you stand up and you say, hi, my name is Kyle, and my sister is rude. She rude that's what she is and we are going on interval we'll be back hello there this is a two-part recap okay this the end of part one so thank

you so much for listening to this just come back a little later for part two watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like listening to this, just come back a little later for part 2. She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Zip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.

We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We forever love Eva. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish. It's Jen plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony. Junie my favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley

Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender the, edible Matthew Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell pour Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crap and add free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct.

You're such a Leo. All time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess,

we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise. Mother. A mother to many. Follow, let LetMeSayThis on the Wondery app

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